#now to catch up and read october's goodness

[gardenerian]

to the thawing wind | 8k | M rating

written for the tropes challenge hosted by @its-a-queer-thing | tropes: dystopian/post-apocalypse, misunderstanding, hurt/comfort

Living and working in the icy chill of an endless winter, Ian and his family are assigned to work the farms to bolster food supply. They live quietly enough, following the rules, until Mickey and Mandy Milkovich (with all their secrets) are moved in across the road. 

read here on ao3

[suddenrundown]

nothing like a good slowburn for real for real

[hoshigray]

𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇[𝐞𝐫]!! | t. fushiguro + s. ryōmen

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Next time, look around the area before you say you find a serial killer attractive. Because you’re about to see what mess your words will have you end up in — and your clothes all torn up.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: serial killers! Toji + Sukuna x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - age gap (the reader is in their early 20s) - porn with plot - oral (f! + m! receiving) - threesome - double penetration; anal (first time) & vaginal - restricted movement (hands tied up) - face-sitting - cowgirl dp positions - gun + knife play - choking - spanking - unprotected sex - overstimulation - degradation (brat, broad, slut, whore) - pet names (baby, dollface, good girl, pet, princess) - blackmail/threats - the reader is in an established relationship w/ Nanami - mentions of blood, tears, spit, and drool.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.6k (told you, porn with plot, lol)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: uhhhh happy Friday the 13th, everybody???? blame @ramonathinks for this idea (jk, don't, she's so amazing, ty for pushing me into this, mona bear ♡ and tysm for beta reading; your thoughts mean the world). Haven't done a fic in two months sooooo go easy on me!! Not proofread, so I'll fix stuff l8rrrr

“No.”

“Oh, come on, Y/n! Just answer the question!”

“You’re so fucking sick, you know that!?” You glare at your friend, who slumps on the booth chair with a heavy sigh. 

A slight breeze tickles your skin through your comfortable sweatshirts as the leaves on the trees slowly change to autumnal colors, and Halloween decor is already adorning every house and every yard. It was a warm and sunny afternoon on this pleasant Friday. Usually, you’d be cozied up in your apartment enjoying yourself, probably catching up on some horror flicks you missed last year. 

But alas, that was not the case. Because you’re a college student. As October has finally rolled around, only one thing prevents you from enjoying this beautiful season — midterms. The thought of it is enough to pull you into a pool of dread. Every day has been one whirlwind after another. Yet, on the bright side, all you have now is one last exam to worry about, and you’ll finally be able to rest this weekend. So here you are, at the diner with your best friend, Shoko Ieiri, completing your papers while eating off your plates to satiate the stress. For the most part, things were going smoothly.

Until the news anchor on the television at the bar relays an announcement… 

“…Once again, everyone, please be on the lookout for these two killers on the loose. Three weeks ago, the two recently escaped from their cells, killed three guards, and are still at large. There have been accounts around the state that reported recent sightings of either or both criminals, the recent one being in this county 27 hours ago. So, please, stay safe. The killers are identified to be…”

And Shoko, being the curious person she is, asks you a question that stops your fingers from typing on your laptop: “Do you find those killers hot?” 

That’s how you two end up where you are now, groaning at the brunette’s persistence in getting your approval to find two criminals — murderers, even! — attractive. 

“Hey, Y/n, I know you hear me.” Shoko snaps their fingers at you while you try to get the assignment done. “Just answer the question: don’t you think those guys are hot.”

“We didn’t come all this way for you to talk about your hybristophilia fantasies.” Facing the Word document, you remind your friend why you’re here in the first place. “Just get back to writing; I wanna finish this and get home.” There’s nothing said afterward for a few seconds, thinking she has finally given up.

However, “First of all,” your eyes close to conceal them rolling behind the lids. “I’m not into hybristophilia; I just know a hot guy when I see one. Second, look at their mugshots. Like, damn, you’ve ever seen anyone so intimidatingly good-looking before? Come on, have a look!”

“You’re such a weirdo,” the click-clacking of your fingertips tapping your keyboard fills the rest of your answer. 

Still, she persists. “Y/n, look at the phoooone~”

No words, only tapping keys.

“Y/n?”

The keys become louder. 

“Pretty, pretty, pleaseeeee~?” 

Louder.

“Y/n!!”

A fist bangs on the booth table as the other closes the laptop shut, sending another glare to the person across from you who holds the phone up. You’ve had it at this point, so you say with a steady breath, “If I look at the dumb mugshots and answer your dumb question, will your dumbass leave me alone and finish your work?” The brunette only puts the phone on the table and slides it your way, giving you big doe eyes and whimpers like a hurt puppy. You sigh with your nostrils as you snatch the phone up, your gaze stationed on the images presented.

The image displayed two mugshots: on the left was a man with raven hair and a scar on the left of his lip. Intense, forest-green orbs contrast the black strands that cover his forehead. The mugshot letter board below him is labeled as "Toji Fushiguro." The one on the right is another man with spiky salmon-colored hair pushed upfront with prominent black tattoos decorating his nose, cheeks, and forehead. The board named him as “Sukuna Ryōmen.”

You look at the pictures intently, examining the men’s features at your discretion. It didn’t occur to you how long you were gawking at the mugshots until you peered from the phone to see Shoko give you the biggest shit-eating grin. Shaking your head, you chew the inside of your cheek before responding.

“….Well,” you cough. “…they’re not terrible looking at all. They are…..hot.”

“Told you!” Shoko slams the table with high enthusiasm, earning another sigh from you as she snatches the phone back. “Would you fuck them?”

You almost popped a vein. What the fuck—“is wrong with you!?” 

“It’s just a question, geez.” She holds her hands up defensively. “Or is that too lewd and raunchy to ask the partner of the trusting, charismatic “Golden Boy” SGA president, Kento Nanami?”

You choke on your spit before you can say anything, and your cheeks dial in warmth. “S-Shut up! Don’t bring my love life into whatever deviant horny thoughts you’re thinking!”

“I’m sorry, I’m boreeeeeeed. I don’t wanna do this paper, ugh.” The brunette whines and bangs their forehead on the table surface; your eyes roll for the fifteenth time in the past three hours. “…Maybe I should get some dick after this.”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m going to use the restroom.” 

You exit the dining booth when they give you a muffled response of anguish, straightening yourself and heading for the back of the diner. As you walked away, you noticed a pair of hooded figures sitting at the booth behind you. Realization kicks in, and you groan internally. Oh, God, they probably heard what we were talking about! But what caught your mind next was that one of them had a black mark on the bridge of their nose. Huh, what an odd tattoo…

After using the toilet, you wash your hands at the sink, but your mind is still fixated on that weird tattoo. Who would get such a thing on their face? Wouldn’t that hurt? I wonder if that’s the only tatt— And then It clicked, you quickly turn off the faucet and dry your hands, exit the rest restroom, and run to your booth. Shoko was begrudgingly typing away on their laptop until she saw you return in a hurry. 

“Hey, you okay?” She asks you, but you aren’t looking at them. Your face contoured to a confused expression as you stared at the booth behind the one you were sitting in, now empty. 

“Did…..The two people who sat behind us, did you see them?” 

“Hmm? No, I didn’t. Must’ve left while my head was on the table.”

“Uh huh…” you say nothing more as you slowly sit back in front of your laptop. Your mind is now clouded with confusing thoughts, questioning your experience up until now. It could be a coincidence, quite far out at that. Regardless, you could’ve sworn you saw that tattoo on the Sukuna guy that Shoko showed you. It was such an uncommon decor, especially since you just saw it on the face of a criminal. Not to mention, the news anchor earlier stated that those two killers were in this exact county…

Needless to say, you didn’t touch your keyboard for about twenty minutes. Your mind was too wrapped up elsewhere to think clearly about your school assignment, and your body harbored a disturbing chill worse than the soft autumn winds.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“…So, why are you researching about the loose killers again?”

“Hm? Oh,” you stop typing on the laptop to attend to the phone call you’re on. Exiting your bedroom, you walk to the living room. “No reason, I was just curious. I saw something about them on the news at the diner with Shoko.”

The person on the other side of the line hums. “You should be careful about stuff like that.”

“Yeah, I know, Kenty,” you open the sliding door to your balcony and close it behind you before taking a seat on the cream-colored swing chair.

“I’m very serious, Y/n.” It was none other than Kento Nanami who was speaking with you. The trustworthy “Golden Boy” of your class year, the circumspect president of the Student Government Association… your loving and attentive boyfriend.

"I know you are."

"And those guys aren't just any usual criminals. They're notorious killers who barge into people's homes at night to steal valuable things. Maybe even kill their victims in their sleep if they have the time. So, be very careful, okay? Can’t trust these streets at night, especially now with those guys on the run. So, don’t go anywhere alone, always have your pepper spray on you, and be sure everything is locked — doors, windows, everything.”

A deep sigh leaves your lips. “Yeah, I double-checked all the locks once I got inside.” 

No one says a word; the rustling of the trees and the beeping of cars from the traffic at the light substitute this awkward silence. Until Nanami says, “….You scared?”

You don’t answer immediately, your mind flashing back to the bewildering encounter at the diner earlier today. Those two hooded men, one with a black tattoo on his face. It felt too surreal to feel like a coincidence, yet it wasn’t too far out of your mind to think as such. The timing was strange, with the news reporter and your conversation with Shoko. The thought of two murderers nonchalantly being in the same space as you rub you off in the worst way imaginable. “…Kinda, yeah. A bit spooked.”

“You want me to come up there and spend the night?”

“No, no! You don’t have to do that,” you hurriedly decline his proposal. “I know you’re busy with homework and student government stuff. I wouldn’t want you moving around so much; I’d feel bad.”

You hear him chuckle on the other side of the phone, and your heart swoons at the sound. “Don’t feel bad; you could never be a burden to me, especially when your safety is my top priority.” Another skip of the beat; it’ll never fail to amaze you how sweet he is with his words.

“Thank you, Kenty. But still, I know you’ve got a lot on your hands. You don’t have to see me right this moment. Besides, isn’t Haibara supposedly dragging you to some party at Geto’s?” Nanami is silent for a few seconds before he groans; a smile creeps up on your face at his reaction.

“Unfortunately, yes. I have to leave to pick him up, and then we can go…But I can cancel and come o—“

“Absolutely not.” You’re quick to interject. “You’ve been so high and on edge with your exams. This is the first party after midterm week. And I can bet my left toe that Gojo — cause you know he’ll be there if Geto is — will be upset you couldn’t make it.”

“…….Which one?”

“Excuse me?”

“You have five toes on your left foot, so which one—“

“Kento.” He chuckles once more for your ears to hear at the use of his real name. “Have fun, okay?”

Nanami hums. “I’ll try. I’ll come by your place Sunday. Sounds good?”

“Perfect. Take some pics for me. Love you!”

Your boyfriend bids you farewell before ending the call, already missing his voice. A yawn creeps out from you, a sign that you are indeed fatigued and need rest. Leaving the balcony, you close the door and do a final check at your door. Confirmed that it’s locked and secured, you turn off the living room lights and head back to your bedroom to get some shut-eye. 

You shut off and close your laptop on your desk before turning off the lights. Then, you lift the comforter and finally enter the chilly embrace of your bedsheets.  Usually, you’d scroll on your phone for a little bit until you get drowsy enough to fall asleep. Yet — it could be because of the exam you were doing at the diner — you felt way more exhausted than usual and wanted to sleep right away. And you did just that: closed your eyes, listened to the calming rhythm of your breaths, and soon drifted into an anticipated slumber.

….Three Hours Later….

The next time you open your eyes, you’re not in the room you left yourself in — let alone the bed. 

Instead, you find yourself somewhere cold and dark. Your bed is nowhere in sight, just a lone chair facing you. There are no windows, no desks, just you and this chair with a sole overhead light that almost blinds you when you slowly get up. 

The change of scenery throws you off as one thought after another picks up the pace of confusion. Where am I? What is this place? This has to be a sick dream of mine…Wait a minute. You look down to find your pajamas are shriveled and torn up, pieces of the material scattered all over where you’re lying on the cold floor. Also, what the fuck!? You can’t seem to move your hands and feet, noticing that there’s some rope restricting your limbs from moving freely from one another. No matter how hard you try, squirming does little to no help, yet it confirms that this is not a dream.

What the absolute fuck is going on right now!? It was an appropriate question for this perplexing situation, not knowing where to pick up from to start picking clues as to why you’re here. Better yet, who brought you here?

“Ah, look who’s awake.”

You turn to the sound of a door opening and closing; the direction it came from makes it hard to register the distance of whoever was speaking to you. However, that doesn’t matter because you can hear footsteps approaching you and a figure stepping into the light. And when the face finally comes to your field of vision, your blood shifts into an immediate icy cold.

Standing to you by the chair was a man in a tight black shirt that exhibited his muscular arms and physique way too perfectly, harboring dark and baggy pants. But those weren’t the features that had your breath hitch. No, no. The man before you had raven hair with the length stopped to his ears and strands that covered his brows. They did not even try concealing the striking green eyes that looked straight at you. And the familiar scar at the right of his lip put everything together for you — the mugshot that Shoko showed me, the inmate that escaped prison…!

Toji Fushiguro, in the flesh, takes a seat on the chair with his legs spread while putting on black gloves. He notices your look of realization and smirks; you don’t like how his scar is rooted up with the motion. “Y’re a pretty heavy sleeper, ya know that. But I guess that made bringing you here a lil’ simple.” 

A tiny bit of confidence prompts you to speak with the man. “Whe–Where am I?”

“C’mon now, little girl,” your stomach churns when he scoffs at you. He brings up a hand to help him as he cracks his neck. God, why is he so jacked!!? “Y’re supposed to be smart, right? You know that’s the wrong question to ask me.” 

Okay then, think, Y/n, think… ”…Why did you kidnap me? Is it for money? Because I don’t have much—“ The palm of Toji’s hand faces you to halt you from speaking more, making your nervousness dwell even further. 

“For one, you should really consider locking your balcony door when y’re done using it.” There are not enough words to describe the mental facepalm you gave yourself. “If we wanted to run y’r pockets, we woulda done so earlier.” He casually admits to you. “But that’s not why we brought ya here, so he’ll explain it to ya.”

He? Wait, wait, we??

The other mugshot hits you like a flash before you hear the door open and close again. Of course, Toji isn’t the only one on the run right now. There was another guy with salmon-colored hair and tattoos. The other figure, now wearing a black tank tee and ripped black jeans, came from behind Toji. Your stomach drops to the floor when your eyes land on the prominent black tattoo on his nose — now seeing that he has way more on his face, shoulders, arms, and wrists. The scene from the diner replays until your brain can’t keep up. It was him, no doubt about it.

“Well, well. Did the sleeping beauty finally get their rest?” Sukuna Ryōmen, looks just as [if not more] dangerous as Toji. He stuffs his hand into the back of his jeans pocket. “Listen here, I’ll be asking you some questions, and I expect nothing but honest answers. Got that?” 

You don’t know what possessed you to ask the question. You being scared shitless right now should’ve prevented you from doing so. And yet, you ask, “And if I don’t?”

It happened way too fast; your eyes couldn’t even process it happening. But one moment, the salmon-haired criminal was standing in front of you beside Toji. The next, you feel someone crouched behind you with the cold feeling of something barely piercing your skin. Your eyes widen, and you don’t dare move a single hair. Toji shakes his head at you, the smirk on his face still present. Now you can guess who had fun cutting up your PJs.

“I don’t think you wanna know the answer to that question.” He says it so close to your ear that you could’ve nearly fainted. Sukuna then moves the knife to scrape the side of your neck. “And don’t you ever think you’re in a position to ask me questions. Use that college brain of yours, brat.” 

You gulp — a risky move when you have a sharp object to your neck — and nod. Satisfied, the pink-haired man removes the knife from your proximity and stands right up. “At least you follow things quickly.” He says while walking back to where he stood prior. “Now, question one: do you know a kid named Kento Nanami?” 

The mention of your boyfriend’s name hits you like whiplash. Kento? What do they want with him!?

“…Yes, I do.”

“Good. Next question,” You chew the inside of your lip before he asks you the following. “Where does he live?”

Your body almost shuts down when he says the final word. No. No, no, no! Absolutely not! “I can’t tell you that.”

“Tch, just when you were doin’ so good.” Sukuna sucks his teeth. “And why the hell not?”

“Because I don’t want you hurting him.”

He barks a laugh. “You don’t even know what we’ll do to him! Damn, talk about a loyal dog.” 

The insult sparked a flame in you. It was a small one, but a flame nonetheless. “Why the hell do you want to know anyway? It’s not like he knows you any—Hrckk!”

“What the hell did I say about you asking questions, huh.” A hurried hand meets your throat, black nails digging into your skin as his grip gets unbearably tight. You attempt to keep a stern face despite choking for some air, but you’d be lying that the pain wasn’t getting to your head.

“Alright, Kuna, let ‘em go.” You almost forgot about Toji sitting on the chair until he spoke up. With a displeased click of the tongue, Sukuna releases you and throws you to the cold, hard floor. “For your information, princess, that kid does know us.”

You’re coughing up a storm, but you still listen. Your eyes are watery, and your throat pulses. “Hic…Ack, what—What are you talking about?”

Toji continues. “That little friend of y’rs is the reason why we were behind bars for three years. Fuckin’ kid saw us break into a house in his neighborhood and called the cops on us. For the longest time, we’ve thought about getting out of those damn cells and coming back to rip that lil’ fucker limb from limb. Maybe ransack his whole home and then some.” 

“And now that we are out here,” Sukuna chimes in. “We plan on doing just that. We were sitting right behind you at the diner and heard the brown-haired chick say his name, meaning he had to be around this county. And when he heard that fucking square had a little girlfriend, who better to introduce ourselves and point us the way than you.” 

So much information hits you all at once that you’re not given enough time to process it properly. Nanami called the cops on these guys? Where was that piece of information on the phone call!!? Three years ago, it must’ve happened before the start of freshman year. And then there’s the matter of these murders trying to kill him — the love of your life! 

You immediately try to weigh your options: you could give them a fake address, but that would lead them back to you and have you killed instead. And Nanami doesn’t live at home right now; he’s on campus with you and everyone else. So, sharing these two his home address will just have his family killed in his place! Oh, you wouldn’t handle that guilt; you just couldn’t!!

“So, what’ll it be, little girl?” Toji’s voice snaps you from your rampant thoughts. “You can be a cute girlfriend and be loyal, and we’ll just kill you right here, right now. Or, you give us an address, we’ll put you back to sleep, and you’ll never see from us ever again.” 

Those two options were far from what you wanted to do. You would never want to jeopardize your poor boyfriend’s life and those around him for being a model citizen, especially for these assholes! There had to be a way, something you could do!

“Please, don’t hurt him!” The ropes on your hands and feet have you shuffle to look at the two men from the dirty ground. “He didn’t do anything wrong. Please just spare him!”

“No-can-do, brat.” Sukuna comes down to your level once more, yanking your shirt — or whatever’s left of it, your bra practically out for the whole world to see — to lift your upper body. “Nothing to ease a vengeful spirit than taking care of the problem, right? So do us a favor, will ya.” 

Tears are fighting your control to fall, your body trembling. You’re scared, so so frightened. But most of all, you’ll do what you can to make sure your “golden boy” stands tall for you. “Please, I’ll do anything! Anything you want, I’ll do it! So, please!!” 

Sukuna opens his mouth to bite back, but no words come out. Actually, his expression resorts back to a neutral tone. He then turns to Toji, who looks at him with a quirked brow. There’s nothing but silence between the two, a silent conversation between the two killers that you have no choice but to stay quiet for. And you jerk when the two focus back on you. Sukuna then finally says something.

“Anything, huh?” It’s the worst when he sneers at you. Such a devious man. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Tch. Fucking brat.” Sukuna sucks his teeth before he snatches your chin with a rough vigor, forcing your teary eyes to face him. And it doesn’t help that you now have a gun pointed at your temple. “This is your warning. You better do this right, or you’ll be the first to get a gift with your boyfriend’s head all minced up. Now, use that mouth. Properly.”

Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you’d end up here. You stood on your knees and hands on the concrete floor, your mouth occupied with Sukuna’s cock, propelling your face to and fro to meet the base. Why the handgun to your head? According to the salmon-haired man, he said: “Try to fight, run, or bite our dicks off, then this whole mag is getting emptied.” So, you’re literally giving the fellatio of your life. And judging by the grunts coming from Sukuna, it seems you’re doing a decent job keeping him going. 

As for the other one, Toji, his hands grabbing onto your asscheeks from beneath should answer that. “C’mon, baby, sit on my face. I don’t bite…” you can tell he has the biggest grin on his face saying that, has you hesitant to follow orders. Regardless, you gently sway your ass down to sit on his face. But impatience gets the best of him before he pulls you down himself, his nose abruptly hitting your clitoris. You jolt despite his hands keeping you on him, forced to feel his tongue and mouth indulging on your wet folds.

So there you sit, bare and nude, for the men to use you as they see fit. Whatever piece of your clothes were torn off you to be fully exposed for them. This is what you choose to do for the sake of your boyfriend: giving yourself off for the night. 

Oh, if Shoko could see you now. Sucking off one of the exact murderers you two were talking about at the diner while the other eats you out? You know you’ll never hear the end of it from her if — by some miracle — she finds out! And you’ll hold onto that miracle for as long as you can. 

“…Fuuuck, hnngh! It’s been a minute since I had my dick on something tight,” Sukuna comments while putting his free hand on your head. His thrusts increase to have your tongue bathe the underside of his dick, and he sighs at you choking when the tip suddenly hits your uvula. “Heh, that’s right. Keep those tears coming, pet…You seem to be enjoying yourself there, Fushiguro. This broad taste that fucking good—Ohhh shit, fucking shit…”

You can feel Toji’s lips curve into a smile from down under, he gives your labia and clit a slow and antagonizing lick before responding to his partner in crime. “Mmmm, man. It’s been a while since I had to do this. Crazy how this princess got with a square like that kid. Wonder if he makes ‘em feel good like this.” And then he returns to your clit to give it a harsh suck. 

Your body continues to be used like a toy. Your jaw loosens to oblige Sukuna’s girth that’s currently hitting the back of your throat every time your lips meet the pubes of his pelvis. His ruts dial-up, and you ball your fists with the constant oral abuse on your face. Drool runs down your chin with every shove of his length, practically choking you with his dick. And the commotion between your leaking vulva and Toji doesn’t go unnoticed either; motherfuker’s tongue is relentless, making sure every crevice and part of your pussy is familiar with him. And the sounds of him slurping your essence are so lewd, so erotic for your ears that you think they’re bound to explode on you. 

“—Ahhh, damn, I’m gonna cum,” Oh, God. Your eyes open to look at Sukuna’s expression, nothing but pure enjoyment looking at your pitiful look. “You’re cute looking all pathetic taking my cock like this, whore—Mmmph!! Shiiiit, keep your head like that.” He grabs your head as his thrusts speed up to an irregular pace, your throat and face becoming numb. Your whimpers are muffled, and tears streak down your cheeks. His groans of pleasure fill the room, and before you know it, his load is released down to the depths of your throat. You’re stuck taking it, mewling on the shaft still in your mouth until he’s finished. 

He removes you when he is, his cock slathered in your saliva and still rock hard. You gawk at it, amazed that you could fit it in your mouth. And you hate to admit this, but it has you wondering what Toji’s is like. 

Speaking of, with a foggy mind, you peer down to see Toji finally done eating your cunt out. “Ya taste good, you know that.” He licks his lips provocately with a smile. You open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. “You ready fr’ me now?” He cocks his chin up, and you turn to see what he’s talking about, only to be met with the pinkish-red tip of his sprung erect cock. If you didn’t think you’d be able to have Sukuna’s in your mouth, you’re going to need a diety’s grace to see what you can do with Toji’s. “Heh, think I’m too big fr’ you? How the hell is Kento handling a piece like you?”

“S–Shut up, stop bringing him up!” You shout at him, tired of being reminded of the love of your life whom you’re betraying right now. All for his sake, but still…

He chuckles at your reaction. “Little girl got spark, huh. Fine then, be a doll and put it in yourself.” 

Cold sweat slides from your brow. Me? I’ve gotta put that shit in on my own!? But you have to. You know you do. So, with anxiousness pooling in your stomach, you bring your ass up and use your hand to align his cock to your wet cunt. 

It takes a lot of mental motivation for you to continue, but slowly and surely, you push the folds of your cunt onto his glans. The pain you experience makes it excruciating to bear, but with steady breaths, you push the tip in with every exhale. And when it finally enters your vulva, a gasp erupts from your puffy lips and a hiss from the man with the scarred lip. “Mmmm, slow down, baby, slow it down…” That was probably the only words he’s ever said that you could trust, so you anchor your ass down, taking in every inch of his length with his hands guiding your ass down. When you reach the base, you give yourself a few seconds to adjust to his girth within your velvety walls. “Fuck, ya feel so nice and tight, princess.”

“Is that so?” Sukuna walks from behind. “Can’t wait for me to have a go.” You couldn’t even comprehend the meaning of that sentence because the salmon-haired one kicked your back. You are now mounted on Toji completely, the two of you facing each other while Sukuna crouches behind your ass. “Get ready, I’m putting it in.”

“Huh?” Wait, both at the same time!? “Ho–Hold on, I’ve never done it in my ass bef—“

“Doesn’t sound like a problem to me; guess I’ll be the first then,” he shuts down your argument and then bends down to use his fingers and spit to ease your asshole. It feels so gross and repulsive that you could puke right now. Not that it would matter to Sukuna because he’s already set on doing it — his fore and middle finger pushing in and out of your anus. When he feels you’ve loosened up, he’ll remove his digits and substitute them with his cock. 

And he doesn’t warn you either, fucking bastard; he nudges his dick in his own countdown with no regard to how you’re feeling. Gripping onto the raven-haired man’s black shirt, Sukuna’s cock puts you through pain worth traumatizing, evoking screams that scratch your throat until he gets the whole thing in your ass. Nanami would never put you through this much pain. Never!

“Aww, y’re making the pretty girl cry,” Toji teases condescendingly, chuckling at the sight of you burying your head in his chest to shield the embarrassment. 

Sukuna hums while grinding his hips to your ass, a tiny bit of blood painting his shaft. “Hmph, good, makes my enjoyment worthwhile. Now,” you shriek with the sudden snap of his hips to your ass. “Let’s get this show started.”

When Sukuna moves, Toji follows right after, and you’re left to fend for yourself in this unsteady tempo from both your holes. You start seeing stars from the unusual stimulation, and your mind and vision become so blurry that it hurts to think. Hell, it hurts to try and concentrate on one dick at a time! One is currently scraping the wells of your walls in a way that your slit clenches around him, while the other churns your insides from the back that almost takes your breath away. More drool and tears seep into the black shirt you use to disguise yourself from them. This shit is already humiliating as is!

“C’mon now, baby. Show me that pretty face of y’rs.” Of course, Toji uses one hand to nudge your head to look at him. Your face is such a wet and hot mess, the sweat on your body making you sticky. The attempt to make sentences is beyond you, relying on moans and choked sobs to express your disorganized emotions. “There ya are. Good fuckin’ girl.”

Toji then takes your plump lips with his, his hand snaking to the back of your head to deepen the kiss. It was one thing letting them use your cunt and ass as they see fit; now, they dare to kiss you in a time like this. Oh, this is the absolute worst! How can you speak to Nanami ever again after this!? These lips are now sullied by the lips and cock of other men. You can’t ever go back and say that you were his, and it’s because of these assholes!!

…And what’s worse, you were starting to find enjoyment in what you were doing, sinking into Toji’s kiss and moaning into his scarred lips.

“Haahh…Mmmph…Damn, this slut is so fucking tight.” Sukuna watches your back glisten in the light while your ass quaked under his unstable momentum. He sneers before slapping your asscheek, resulting in a rushed moan and a twitch from your pussy. Toji breaks the kiss. “Hey, keep doing that. Think they like it.” 

With devilish glee, the tattooed other doesn’t hold back. He gives you another smack to the ass, and more loud purrs and shrieks fill the space between you three. Fast ruts to your soaping slit and ass coincide with the strikes to your butt, catching you off guard and leaving a stinging sensation every time. 

It’s apparent now that your hips start to move on their own, riding out your own high while preparing for your orgasm that’s climbing up. And the raven-haired man notices as he puts your hand on your aching buttcheeks. “Goin somewhere, dollface?” 

Oh, for fuck’s sake, let me come already!! “—Ahhnn, ooohhhh!! I’m about to cummm—I’m gonna break—Eeyahhh!!!

“That so?” You want to wipe that smirk off his stupid, dumb, handsome face. “Then go ahead and get dirty, princess. Ring us up.”

Your arousal staggers up when both of their thrusts fall into a unity, the tender spots of your gummy walls from your ass and cunt being hit and abused prompt more ecstatic moans and your head pounding with every jab. Almost there, almost! Please, please, I want it!! And you are finally given what you want; your release crashes into you in a hard swoop, the shocks crawling up your body while your holes contract around both men’s cocks. Your brain falls into an erotic trance; you only care about the euphoric sensations tingling around your body. Dizziness overtakes you, and your head descends back on Toji’s chest.

“Hmph, you really a pathetic pet.” Sukuna grinds his pelvis into your sensitive ass. The aftershocks from your release still make your body react to their movements. “Chasing for your own orgasm, huh. We outta fuck that selfishness right out of you, damn brat…”

You don’t say anything — more like you don’t have the energy to. Your ass and chasm are too stuffed to keep your mind active, and your eyelids feel too heavy to keep up. It probably was from all that crying and screaming. All you want to do is go back to sleep in your bed at your cozy apartment. But that must be asking for too much. Just please end this nightmare…

Kenty…Please forgive me, I’m so sorry….

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You can’t remember how sleep found you that night. But your eyes open to the ray of sunshine that peaks through the binds of your bedroom. Wait, my bedroom!?

You shoot up from your bed, the soft comforter and sheets peeling off your skin, and the cool air from the air conditioning welcomes you back to your personal space. Everything untouched, everything where it’s supposed to be — where you’re supposed to be.

A deep breath is the first thing you do when you wake up, following a long exhale. Was I dreaming? You would’ve accepted that delusion had you not looked down to realize that your figure was covered with one of your oversized shirts, remembering that your old pajamas were cut and torn up. Flashes of last night return to haunt you, and shivers travel down your spine from realizing what transpired at those ungodly hours. You quickly check your sheets for any stains — Thank God, none. Funny how a pair of serial killing assholes have the decency to clean up your body. 

And then a sudden feeling of dread crawls up after hearing your phone vibrating on your nightstand. You hurry to check the screen to find out it was a text message from Nanami. It’s a Saturday, 9 a.m. He’d usually be sleeping in until noon. Curious, you unlock your phone to check what your boyfriend is texting you about.

Recent Message from: ♡ my bby nanamiii ♡

Hey, Y/n. Hope you slept well and everything’s okay. I’m coming from Geto’s place after picking up Haibara, who is going through the worst hangover right now. He said he wants to see you and that you make the best meals for his hangovers. I don’t want to intrude if you’re not up for guests, so please tell me so I can take him somewhere else. But otherwise, we’ll be there at around 30-45 mins. Let’s just relax this weekend, okay?

Reading the text as you fall in love with him all over again. After what you’ve gone through, knowing that he’s safe and sound from any trouble, all you want right now is to be around him and hold him close. To be with him and forget about everything that’s happened. 

You send a heartwarming reply saying you’ll be waiting for the two of them. Then, you remove yourself from the bed and stretch out your fatigued muscles. Ugh, I should probably shower before Nananmi gets here…

However, before you lift your shirt and head for the bathroom, you notice a glass of water and a bag full of pills. Huh…I definitely didn’t have that there when I went to sleep before I was taken. And next to the glass was a folded piece of paper. Curiosity got the best of you this morning as you picked up the material to read its contents. 

And this is where you knew your life was changing, for better or worse. Your legs give out, making you fall to your knees with a shaky breath, the hairs of your body standing, and your heart on the verge of leaping out of your mouth. What you read crushed your whole being, leaving you cold in this world — worse than the autumn breeze.

Yo, thanks for the great time last night. Keep that up, and your pretty boytoy will keep standing. Here’s water and birth control, and keep that bag safe. Wouldn’t wanna end up losing it for the next time we fuck you dumb. See ya later, pet.

SR + TF

♱ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly <3 header art by rororgi mogera + dividers by the amazing @/cafekitsune!!

[its-your-mind]

Help I’m late to the party re: cryptic Rusty Quill Magnus Archives news and don’t know how to catch up!

You have come to the right place! Here I will summarize The Bullshit™️ with time stamps where able. I will also update this post when new things come to light.

Let’s go one day at a time!

10 October

Rusty Quill Twitter and Instagrams post UNPROMPTED, UNEXPLAINED eyes

On the same day, RQ patrons got a code in the weekly Patreon round up

12 October

RQ Twitter posts a tweet with an image of a cassette tape with the same code as had been given to the patrons: U3RhdGVtZW50IFJlbWFpbnMK

Using base64, the code comes out to “Statement Remains”

The RQ insta also posted this image to their story:

Which, if you take the image as binary code, comes out to “Are you still listening?”

A new code was also posted to RQ patrons, and will be added here if/when it is publicly released.

EDIT: There were strings of text added to the episode description of Goodbye for Now in the TMA feed, which when translated through Base32 and then Base64 read: "this one was an accident. sorry -_-"

Amazing, 11/10 work, RQ

(ty to @official-infinitea for the update on the pod description codes!)

EDIT: also on-going is like… every person associated with RQ being VERY MEAN and dropping hints that we’re all gonna lose our shit whenever whatever this is drops

13 October

Apparently the Patreon code from yesterday led people wildly off-course, because they gave another hint today to solve it. Again, going to keep the specifics of that off this post bc patreon, but know that in the end, it leads to the same place as what is below.

Also, Fay Roberts, who played Daisy Tonner in TMA, tweeted

The QR code translates to: WHR'TS ECAHXJ TCLKHX U AC JV Y

It was solved the rough four layers of translation and encryption, to read: “your guess is as good as mine.” Thank you, Mx. Roberts. Where would we be without your clues leading us.

The RQ Twitter and Instagram also posted

New episode:

I'll let you listen to that one on your own 😉

Code in the description is

7V?UOEdDb7B-9W`H>[n7AhG3$ATAo0@V?lrB6JQG+F/-BB6%F(@<=^@$<L\[@3B5q/0IH*G%G<0EbBM;6?$RHDfTD?+F/!?Aft`(H$CHLDdmBm+EhBM

Which translates via ascii to

"Statement Remains. Are you still listening?

Join us, Thirtieth October, lets talk about it."

4pm BST tweet:

Using a polybus code box, the numbers translate to:

The Magnus Archives Two

THAT’S RIGHT BITCHES WE GETTIN MORE TMA

[leascorner]

j.s. | Welcome home

Summary: After a mission, Jake gets some well deserved break at home. However the week might not turn out how he had planned.

Pairing:  Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x childhood bff!f!reader

Warnings: Angst, mention of death and near death experience, mention of break-up, probably inexact american army facts, ever most likely inexact description of Texas, mention of food, two idiots in love, happy ending

Word Count: 9.2k

A/N: I've said it before, I will say it again. The only trope that I can write/read about Jake is a childhood/best friends to lovers, don't fight me. I also see Jake as an older brother to two half-sisters his mother had with a very good man, after his father abandonned them. This is my canon.

Anyway, this is way too long and way too chaotic but I just couldn't stop writting so enjoy!

Masterlist

Y/N was literally hopping up and down with impatience - or perhaps was it the three cups of coffees she had drunk to be able to keep up with the 2-hour-long drive to the airport in the middle of the night. She was standing on the arrival floors, on her tiptoes, trying to locate the person she was picking up. The flow of travellers coming through the arrival doors was continuous, so many blond heads coming through and none of them was his.

Her childhood best friend’s flight had landed a dozen of minutes prior; 3:28 a.m. was the time she received a “be right there, see you soon” text. Ever since then, the seconds had been going past very - very - slowly and with every second passing, Y/N chest had got narrower from anticipation to the point she felt like she couldn’t breathe. It hadn’t been more than a year and a half now that they had seen each other in the flesh. Of course, there were the texts, the emails and the FaceTime calls, but it was never the same.

“Jake!”

The sea of people in front of them seemed to split in half to let them collide in one another. The said Jake let his bag fall to his feet to catch a flying Y/N, lifting her from the ground as if she weighted nothing. Her hands found the back of his neck and her head found the crook of his neck, reuniting their bodies as if they were only one mind.

“Hey sweetheart,” he sniffed her hair, intoxicating himself from her perfume.

Jake let her down reluctantly when he realized they were in the way of other people reunions. After swinging his bag over his shoulder and dragging her near a row of seats, he finally took a good look at her, dark circles under puffy red eyes and hair all other the place. He dried her tears softly and kissed the top of her head, something he was sure he hadn’t done since they were in high school and that fucker of Chad had broken up her heart - thinking of it now, it seemed like it was a lifetime away. However, he knew that in this moment there was no sadness in her tears. She was crying probably a little happiness to seeing him again, but most certainly a lot of relief to have him alive in front of her.

He took another step back to have an even greater look at her. Y/N was exactly how he last saw her one year or so ago, and exactly how she looked like even all the other times he had to leave. She did not seem to age, and he was sure that the fine smile lines she was now wearing had always been there. It brought comfort to his heart to know that whatever would happen, she would always be waiting for him. He knew it was also selfish, but he had made peace with those thoughts a long time ago. These were moments that he was collecting in his mind for when he was somewhere overseas, fighting for his life.

“My my, did you grow up a few inches?”

“Oh, shut up!” Y/N laughed and tried to nudge him in the ribs. Jake easily grabbed her right elbow to bring her closer in another embrace, so very glad to be home, even only for a little while.

Ventilation was swinging litters of hot air into the car's cabin as it was a rather chilly night for October in Texas. The full moon was lighting up all the roads in front of them, just as if it was making sure they would get home safely.

During the drive, the main discussion turned around how excited everyone would be to have him there. Y/N and her parents were the only ones to know about Jake’s surprise visit; they had only known for about three days before his flight landed that he unexpectedly got a week of leave. They would surprise his family later that day for lunch - only after they both had a rather long nap to make up for the sleepless night.

Jake had seen his family a couple more times than Y/N this past year and a half. Even if he considered Y/N to be family, this wasn’t exactly the rule of the administration. Blood family had some more privileges, like sometimes visiting for the holidays. His mother and one of his little sisters also visited him in Singapore when he was stationed there for an exercise in the Taiwan Strait; they had booked a vacation to be able to see him there. Y/N, at that time, had been unavailable - she had her own life after all.

It was what Jake found the more difficult; to keep up with her life. Most of her friends were common friends from high school. With her going to a different university and later with her different jobs, some of her friends were total strangers to him. However, they all seemed to come and go into her life, leaving more or less damage.

“I am sorry about you and Nick.”

Y/N finished getting back to the right line of the highway and removing the blinker, before glancing quickly in Jake’s direction. He was looking at her, with an expression she couldn’t quite read, but that she understood as some kind of gladness. She sighed while turning her focus back on the road.

“You can lie better than that, Jake.”

“Well, didn’t like the guy so…”

It had been a couple of months now than her longtime boyfriend Nick and she had broken up. What confused Jake the most was how this was not a topic for discussion. She hadn’t called crying; she did not seem to be angry. She just announced it to him like it was nothing and directly switched subject. He hadn’t found a way to bring it back on the table, so he asked their friends and family. They all had the same answer; she was doing fine. She seemed to have continued her life just like nothing had happened.

“Was it him-”

“It was me,” Y/N cut him off quickly abruptly, leaving Jake with an uneasy feeling. She sighed again, probably realizing how harsh her tone had been. “This wasn’t working out anyway.”

Though she could not see him, Jake nodded back acknowledging her response. He still felt like there were more to it, but he understood that now wasn’t the time to discuss it. Ever since they had known each other - and it went back to kindergarten, they hadn’t had many secrets for one another. And if they had, it was never anything major.

So, he shook off this feeling and gently grabbed her hand resting on the gearshift to squeeze it softly.

“I do am sorry, though.”

“I know.”

It was nearly six in the morning when Y/N pulled up in her parents’ driveway.

The porch light was on, welcoming them, making sure Jake knew he was expected, and it made him smile fondly. It still felt surreal somehow; after everything, he was home. Getting out of the car, he breathed the fresh air of Texas like he hadn’t breathed in years.

Y/N was already opening her trunk, getting out a duffel bag that seemed to contain some clothes for today. Jake jogged toward her before she was able to get his own khaki bag out. She rolled her eyes, smiling, when he gently slapped her hands away to take care of it.

“Mom set up a spare bed in my room,” Y/N informed him while walking to the front door. “Just like the old days.”

And nothing in the house had changed either.

The hallway was still a drive along memories with all sorts of pictures hanged upon the wall. Y/N’s parents wedding portrait. Y/N’s baby pictures. Y/N on the day of the start of her first kindergarten year - just before they met each other. A couple more of first day of school pictures - this time with him in it as well. A couple of family vacation pictures. And along with them, a couple of pictures of events he wasn’t even there to attend. Y/N’s university graduation, her parents’ thirty-year anniversary celebration party, her first promotion celebration dinner…

The kitchen was still on the right, the living room on the left and straight ahead the stairs to the bedrooms. Y/N’s bedroom still had Justin Timberlake poster hung up on the walls along with some pictures of friends and family. The teddy bear he won for her at the funfair when they were not even ten stood on her bed. Jake swore that if he opened the dresser, he would still find the shelf that was for his stuff back then.

Without many words, both of them got ready for bed. Y/N took the en-suite bathroom first and when Jake got back in his sweatpants, she was already in bed, cuddling Mister B the teddy bear. His chuckle made her look up to him with sleepy eyes and quickly look away when she realized he didn’t wear a shirt. He kissed her on her forehead before tugging her more tightly in her sheets and turning off the bedside lamp.

“Do you remember when I couldn’t sleep unless someone was holding my hand?”

Jake only hummed in answer, and even in the darkness of her room, his hand found hers instinctively. Their fingers intertwining immediately, he did just as he had promised when he was only just a kid; he never let it go.

“Son,” Y/N’s father spoke from the other side of the kitchen, “don’t worry about it.”

Jake shook his head, smiling, before proceeding with what he was already doing: loading the cup he had used to drink coffee in the dishwasher. Ever since he had been up earlier that morning, Y/N’s parents had pampered him with all their attention while also being busy preparing lunch. Every time he asked if they needed help, they would assure him he just needed to stay put in his seat.

It had always been like this, for as long as he had remembered. Whenever he had gone over when Y/N and he were still in middle school, her parents had always taken good care of him, making sure the crust of his PB&J sandwiches were cut off, putting on his favourite beddings when they were having a sleepover, drying his clothes in the air dryer when they came home soaking wet from the park. He felt loved in a different way than he did at home, where he had a hard time adjusting to his new family dynamics with his two younger step-sitters. Growing up, they continued on listening to him and caring for him. Y/N’s father was the one he went to for advice before he enrolled. Ever since, and with the little time he had with them every time he came home, it still hit him in the face how much they loved him like he was their own son.

“Do you need help with anything?” He asked once more.

This time, they did not have time to answer. Y/N appeared on the doorstep, changed out of her pyjamas, hair still wet. “The shower is all yours, Jake.”

She watched him go as if she had to make sure he remembered the way to her room. She hadn’t really realized yet that he was really here, with them, and feared that he would just disappear at any minute or that she would just wake up from whatever dream she was having. Somehow this also seemed to be all too familiar, like a play they had rehearsed a hundred time before. It broke her heart a little to know this was most likely not going to happen again before a very long time, that it could actually never happen again.

Y/N got this thought out of her head as soon as it came. She didn’t need to think about this. Not now. Not ever. She just needed to enjoy whatever time she had with him at home.

“He looks good,” her mum stated once Jake had made it to the top of the stairs.

“Yeah, he does,” Y/N spoke softly, eyes lingering to where Jake had been only a couple of seconds before, suddenly wondering if he was really as good as they thought.

When Jake got back to the kitchen the entrance clock had just struck eleven. Only sixty minutes until he would be reunited with his family. It never felt more real, but he couldn’t quite realize it. He was so used of being far away from them, totally disconnected from their realities, hearing their news after everyone else. Yet, he had always found them as he had left them, eyes watering to see him home or gone.

He joined Y/N on the vegetable preparation. Washing, peeling, cutting kept him busy while the anticipation started to build up. All while Y/N’s father asked him about what new manoeuvres he had learned. Being an aviator himself, they could talk about flying for hours to Y/N’s greatest damn; she had the biggest fear of flying - and perhaps the fact that Jake nearly crashed them while flying an old aircraft he had restored with her father when they were teenagers had something to do with it.

“These boys,” Y/N’s mother sighed playfully as Jake and Y/F/N were debating whatever solar planes were the future of aviation. Y/N smiled as she shared a knowing look with her mother, who was getting ready to lay the table in the dining room.

“Mom, hold on,” Y/N called before reaching inside the cupboard next to her, “you are missing a plate.”

“Why? Is Mark coming after all?”

Y/M/N’s face went white in only a second as she realized what she had just said. Not knowing what to do else, Y/N handed her the white plate. Looking sideways to Jake, she hoped he hadn’t heard - she didn’t want him to find out like this, when his whole family was going to be here in the next thirty minutes.

It was already too late though; Jake’s attention had of course switched to their awkward interaction. Her father was quick to step in, wiping his hands on a cloth and moving towards his wife.

“Of course he is, darling. Let me help you bring those into the dining room.”

Y/N watched them disappear before quickly turning back to the carrots she was now cutting in a Julienne, praying Jake would just drop the subject. Ever since she had learned that Jake was having a leave, she had planned their reunion to be perfect. She had purposely lied to his family, pretending to have a very big news to share with them so they all agreed to gather even if the atmosphere was not good. She had made them promise to bury the hatchet, for “her” and most absolutely for Jack. Whatever touchy topics they would have to talk about, they could do it after.

“Why wouldn’t he come?” Jake still asked and, at that moment, she knew that whatever she would tell him would never be sufficient to not draw his suspicion any further. She couldn’t lie to him even if she tried.

“Just been busing with work lately, you know how it is.”

Without letting him time to ask more questions, Y/N went for the stoves to make sure the sauce was still reducing as it should have. She could feel Jake’s eyes burning holes on her back and could only hope he would drop the subject.

“Jake, son,” Y/F/N had just gotten back from the dining room, “would you mind giving me a hand with the roast?”

After taking a last look at Y/N, still very focused on stirring the sauce, Jake turned to her father. It wasn’t until she didn’t feel his eyes on her that she turned to look at him. She watched as her father made him took out the turkey so he could put some more butter on it. Out of the corner of his eye his father gives him a reassuring wink signalling her he had got this.

The bell rang at the exact same moment Y/N put the last plate of hors d’oeuvres at the centre of the table. Shooting a look across the piece, she saw her father squeezing Jake’s shoulder in what seemed to comfort him. She smiled shyly, trying to hide her own nervousness. Thanks to her father, Jake had nearly forgotten about the earlier incident about Mark and the reason he wouldn’t have been able to make it. He hadn’t asked any other questions, and they hadn’t given away other secrets. All was well in the best of all words, or so she still tried to convince herself. It was all that mattered.

“Just like we said, you both stay here, and we’ll bring them for you.”

Y/N watched as her parents disappeared in the hall. She turned to Jake who she now realized he was close at her side - she knew from the way his lips were set in a tight smile that he was somehow nervous. When noises started coming from the hall, Y/N grabbed Jake’s hand without thinking. She needed him to know she was there, that she would always be there, just like they promised when they were younger. It would take much more than a thousand of miles and a few hiccups to take them apart. As if he was thinking the exact same thing, Jake squeezed her hand back.

Jake’s step-dad was the first to enter the dining room. Y/N saw his eyes go from herself to Jake right next to her side, his eyes lighting up in realization. Yet, he didn’t say anything, holding a finger to his lips to let them know he would stay silent while moving further into the room as if nothing had happened. He and Jake had never been particularly close; he was a good man, a good husband, and a good father to his daughters, but Jake’s fatherly figure had always been Y/N’s father.

Next to enter the room was Jake’s youngest step-sister, Sophia. She immediately spotted him, letting out a cry and running into his arms. He crushed his sister in one of those same hugs he gave Y/N when she picked him up from the airport. It warmed her heart to see them like that. Sophia was still very young when Jake had enrolled; she was only just a kid and had grown up with the lack of his older brother. She was looking up to him so much that Y/N had sometimes to remind her that he didn’t have only qualities. He was her hero in so many ways…

Sophia’s reaction got the rest of the family - his mother, Olivia, his other step-sister, and his step-brother, Mark - in the dining room quite quickly. There were a lot of “Jake!” shouted from across the room and loads of tears, happy smiles, and hugs.

“I can’t believe he is here.” Sophia cried again; this time she was in Y/N’s arms. “And I can’t believe you lied to us.”

“Sorry not sorry,” Y/N smiled, tugging a string of her hair behind her ears before bringing her in an even closer hug if it was possible. She wasn’t sure she had seen her this happy in her life, she realized.

Y/N was an only child with a very little family. Over the years, Jake’s family had grown to be her own as well. As children first, as they were always all together at either one’s house or the others. As teenagers when his step-sisters weren’t babies anymore and they had started to be able to play more with them. She remembered helping his mom getting both of his sisters ready for school, all of them celebrating Christmas at her parents or going dress shopping for Olivia’s first prom.

Ever since Jake had been deployed on the West Coast and later overseas, they had grown even closer. There were brunches on Sundays, just the three of them, where Sophia would file them up on her latest dating adventures. There were lunches at Olivia’s office after they had taken a midday yoga class. There were breakfasts with Sophia before her classes began. Y/N had always made sure they were alright, as if she had to do it for Jake.

So far, the lunch had turned out great.

Jake had told them all about his last position and this group of pilots he had been joining overseas. Everyone had started feeding him bits and pieces of what had occurred ever since the last time he’s been home. Olivia and Mark had managed not to fight, which was a miracle in itself, per Y/N’s opinion. Jake’s mom had finally stopped crying. And Sophia seemed to have forgotten about those hard choices she would have to make once she graduated from college at the end of the year.

At least, that was the case until Jake asked about it.

“So, any thoughts yet about what you’ll do next year?”

“No, not really.”

Y/N had already seen that look on Sophia’s face. It was the same one she made when she was hesitating between an avocado toast and pancakes at the place they were used to going to brunch; every time she had been making this face, she had ended up with ordering both. Sophia eyed her tentatively and Y/N immediately shook her head no, silently pleading her not to do whatever she was thinking.

Today was not the day. Jake had only gotten back from abroad hours ago, they would have enough time to discuss it in the next couple of days.

“I am thinking of enrolling,” Sophia stated abruptly.

Boom.

The bomb had landed.

Y/N sighed, mentally cursing Sophia for needing whatever validation from him. They all had talked about this extensively for months on now. Decide to enrol was one thing, accept that one of your relative would do the same was another. She knew how Jake was; he didn’t look like it at first sight, but his family was his everything. He had made the selfish decision that could result in them losing him forever, yet he wouldn’t accept that she’d do the same.

From the deathly silence that came after Sophia’s statement, Y/N rested the cutlery on the side of her plate, bracing herself for whatever had to come. Her attitude made Jake immediately turned to her. She had never seen the wrinkle between his eyebrows this deep before. She didn’t know if it was from dread, disappointment, or anger.

“You knew?”

Jaw tight, Y/N didn’t answer, and Jake huffed - of course, she knew. How could she not? She was here, with his own family, when he was thousands of miles away fighting for his country. She was here, only a ride away, when he couldn’t even remember the last time he had enough telephone network to FaceTime them. She was there, physically with them, when he was just a ghost, present for a few days a year before disappearing for months on hand.

Y/N tried to reach out for his left arm to try and calm the whole situation down, but he moved ever so slightly she couldn’t touch him. The fire in Jake’s green eyes was incandescent. He was angry, with Sophia, with her, with everyone. And to know he didn’t even know half of it…

“Let’s not start now,” his older step-sister stepped in to try and reason him.

“Why?” Jake retorted immediately. “Wanna updates me on what is going on with Mark as well?”

Olivia opened her mouth to answer and as she couldn’t seem to find something to say, she then closed it and lowered her head. She and Mark had officially announced a few weeks before Jake returned that they were going to take some time apart. They had been married for nearly three years and they were having a rough path. They had started couple therapy, trying to make things work. Y/N couldn’t count the hours Olivia had spent on her couch, crying and eating ice-creams.

Y/N knew exactly how she felt like. The deception of thinking she had found the love of her life only to realize it was more complex than this. The sadness of loving someone and it still not being enough for the two of them to be happy. The paralyzing fear of being alone, of never being well enough.

She needed a shoulder to cry onto and a lot of love, and not to be reminded of what a failure she thought she was.

“I am sorry,” Sophia mumbled. Y/N wasn’t sure to whom she was apologizing. Jake? Them?

“You can’t seriously be thinking about it?” Jake half-shouted, pointing her finger at her like he was accusing her of the worst betrayal.

“Don’t say anything you’d regret, son.”

Y/N’s father word seemed to put some sense into him as he leaned his back against his chair, folding his arms against his chest. The distress on Sophia’s face was now palpable and she was on the verge of crying from Jake’s quite violent reaction. Though she didn’t expect Jake to be totally supportive, Y/N had not expected him to reject the idea that much either. She had thought that he would’ve still listen to her reasons, maybe try to talk her out of it, but finally make peace with the idea. Just like they had. Just like they all had when he was in her shoes.

Olivia had regained her composure and wrapped an arm around her sister’ shoulders. The look she sent Jake probably refrained him from attacking again his little sister. Instead, he chose another target for his anger.

“How can anybody be cool with this?”

Before Jake’s mom could speak, Y/N called him out. “Why could you do it and not her, Jake, huh?” She wants to be like you so bad, don’t you see?

“That’s not the same thing.”

Y/N huffed and rolled her eyes.

It made her even bitter. For all the things he hadn’t told her when he had no reason to hide it from her. For him being hurt that they didn’t want to discuss as such important topics over the phone. She would have liked to be sorry to hide all this from him, yet his reaction had only comfort her on her choice.

“You’re being unfair.”

“Am I now?” he laughed. “Excuse me for putting my life at sake and not wishing for me sister to do the same.”

“Did anybody ask you to? If anything, we would all have loved to keep you by our side.”

“Oh, I see. So, this is all my fault, right?”

The daring look he offered her made her heart jump in her chest. Her stomach was in fire; consuming her from the inside. She was tired from the sleepless nights she had for the last few months. And sad about the outcome of this lunch. And disappointed in him. And quite frankly done with his attitude.

Sighing, she gave in and looked away, throwing her napkin on her plate at the same time. Whatever this was, it was too much for her to handle. “If you’d excuse me,” she announced as she moved her chair back. “I am not hungry anymore.”

“Y/N-” he called after her, grabbing her arm to make her stay. She gave him a pained look before abruptly pulling away from his grip.

“Welcome home, Jake.”

Jake’s face appeared once again on her phone screen.

Big bright smile, sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, forehead sun-kissed by the first rays of sunshine of spring. The picture had been taken one of the few times she had fly out to California to visit him. They had such a good time that Y/N used to hold all those memories close to her heart. Now, she couldn’t even look at it.

She couldn’t count the number of texts Jake had sent nor the number of messages he had left on her voice mail. She hadn’t read nor listened to any of them and had even decided to turn off her phone at some point during the night. She needed some time alone to take a breath and to swallow the disappointment that was forming a lump in her throat.

Despite the emotional roller coaster this day had been, she hadn't fallen asleep until late in the night, turning over in the sheet nonstop while thinking of all the comebacks she could have said to his face. And like every other night for months now, when she had finally managed to get some sleep, her worst nightmare had woken her up a couple of hours later.

It only made her feel worse and she cried all the tears in her body. It was like whatever emotion she had retained in the last year had come back to her like a wrecking ball. She was angry for all sorts of reasons all linked to Jake one way or another. She was also very sad of the situation she found herself into, of Jake having spoiled their reunion, of the spectacle she had given in front of her loved ones.

So, when she turned on her phone a few hours later, eyes still puffy and red from the lack of sleep and the crying, she didn’t hesitate to turn down his call when his smiley face appeared on her phone screen. At that time, she discovered the multiple texts and missed calls of her parents and Jake’s sisters. She sent them a quick group message, letting them know she was fine and that she would catch up later. Leaving her phone on the kitchen counter, she got ready for her day.

Her phone rang four more times while she was getting ready. She was now determined to let him know to leave her alone. She was still pissed, and she needed to compose herself. This was without counting on the doorbell ringing when she was about to answer her phone.

Stopping whatever she was doing, she made the few steps from the kitchen counter to her apartment door, opening it without even thinking who she would find behind. Much to her surprise it was the only person she didn’t want to see. Jake. Standing there, phone in his hand.

“Oh, come on!” he exclaimed when she nearly shut the door in his face.

He stopped it before it was fully closed and after a deep sigh, Y/N let him in without even giving him a look. She closed the door behind him, passing him - still without looking at him - and went to the living room. She leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing her arms on her chest much like he had done during lunch just the day before.

Jake stood in the middle of the room, watching around him. It was the first time he was in her new place, the one she started rented after she broke up with her long-term boyfriend. It wasn’t much, only a one-bedroom apartment with a sanitized decor - she hadn’t had the heart to make it her own. It was close to her work and not a too long drive from her parents; it was all she really needed.

Y/N studied him in silence. He must not have had the memo about the Texas weather at that time of the year as he was only wearing a beige sweater, sleeves rolled up. It wasn’t much of a surprise he had forgotten how it was; he had spent so little time home in the last ten years.

When her eyes finally got to his face, she realized he was now staring at her. She tried reading him like she could before, but what she found in his eyes, she couldn’t interpret. Perhaps something had been broken between them. Perhaps there were only so much absence someone could handle. Perhaps they had let the miles come in between them for real this time.

She couldn’t tell how long they stayed like this before he finally spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Long gone was the hope she had that he would apologize.

Jake had never been one to be wrong; he was probably even the most stubborn person she had ever met. Though she liked this confidence in him, she also knew it was hiding something much deeper. His trauma of being abandoned by his father when he was still a toddler. The fear of his loved ones realizing what a failure he was, despite everything he had already accomplished. The fear of never being enough.

He had assured her it wasn’t one of the reasons he had enrolled, and she knew he was lying to her just as much he was lying to himself. But she wasn’t her twenty-something-self; she wasn’t going to protect his feelings anymore. Now that they didn’t have an audience, she could lay her cards on the table.

“Do you mean, just like you didn’t tell us about the ejection seat accident that you had six months ago?”

She saw his face drop ever so slightly before he regained his composure back. She wasn’t the only one keeping things from him, yet contrary to him, the things she was keeping a secret weren’t really hers anyway.

“How would you know?”

“Javy called me that time,” she stated dryly, memories of the call she got in the middle of the night flowing to her head. She still had nightmares about it most nights. “He wanted me to know in case your brain injury worsened, and they had to call your family.”

This secret, she had never told anyone and had carried the weight of it on her own until now. She had smiled and assured everyone that all was fine for the days - sixteen in total - they didn’t hear from him; how could he, he had been literally in a 24h surveillance at the hospital. She had had Javy on the phone to report every little detail he had of Jake’s evolution. She hadn’t had sleep for weeks straight and had nearly cried when Jake had called him after a very busy and unexpected mission he took part in - another way for putting he had just got cleared from the hospital.

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing, Jake! You got banned from flying for six weeks. Six fucking weeks!”

“And yet, it wasn’t the first time I ended up in the hospital, nor was it the last time. You know that’s part of the job.”

Y/N snorted.

Like hell she knew. The job description went with never being in the same time zone as your loved ones, missing every single milestone in their life, putting his very own safety at risk so they could all be free and safe, and omitting all details of the national security missions to which he was taking part. She was pretty sure though there was no line in his contract about lying about his health, especially when he could have died, to his family.

For some reason, this whole situation had made his absence even worse. She realized he didn’t feel safe to let them know when things had gone bad; if this time she had known, she couldn’t even imagine all those other times Javy hadn’t been there to inform her. It had awakened a visceral (and most likely also irrational) fear in her. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him and she still wasn’t ready to accept it.

“Why is this such a big deal when you knew what was going in here and didn’t even tell me?”

If she hadn’t been this tired, Y/N would have probably walked to him to slap him. How could he compare his near-death experience to his sisters’ decisions? How could any of it be equivalent?

“This was not my truth to tell,” she only replied blankly.

Yes, she wasn’t very proud of hiding things from Jake and lying on purpose. But she wasn’t thirteen any longer and when people confided in her - when she promised she wouldn’t tell him anything - she wasn’t going to go running to her best friend to spill all the tea.

“Will you then tell me the truth about what really happened between you and the other dickhead?”

“I already told you everything,” she answered dryly, a little bit too quickly for it not to be suspicious.

“I don’t believe you.”

Y/N knew from the sound of his voice it was pure provocation. He gave her the same daring look she had just seen the day before - the same consuming flame was in his eyes - and she could see his infamous smirk dawning on his lips. She wondered why he wanted to prove just how right he was - how he was always right - so bad. It made her skin scramble how infuriating he was.

She didn’t answer right away and stared at him, arms crossed on her chest a little bit tighter to protect herself. Everything that was happening was only making her angrier towards him. He had ruined everything, and he had just decided to continue on doing so.

She had dreamt about him coming home for months and months, to have him by her side and now, she could only wish for him to go away. The anger, the pain, the animosity; it was all too much. She couldn’t keep up anymore.

“What do you want me to tell you, huh? How much of a great boyfriend and man he was, but that it still wasn’t enough? How much a horrible person I am for not being able to fall in love with a person that would devote his own life to try and make me happy?”

Jake opened his mouth to respond, but closed it as the words sank in. It all made sense to him suddenly. Why she seemed to be relieved it was all over. Why she didn’t call him after he broke her heart. Why, on the rare occasion he had discussed the break-up with his sisters, they had never talked badly about her ex-boyfriend. He didn’t break her heart. He never did.

She was the one breaking his.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked, this time his voice much softer.

How could she? When it all started with his accident - that she wasn’t even supposed to know of. When it took her five years of a stable relationship to realize her longtime boyfriend had never have been the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. When it took her half of her adult life to understand she had been lying to herself for almost all her life and that even now, she didn’t know her truth from her lies any more.

Knowing the truth, Jake didn’t know what to say. He wanted to feel sorry, he wanted to tell her he was. But was he really? It would be lying to say he didn’t exult when he had heard of the break-up... On the day she introduced him to Nick, they he had discussed - quite vividly - about the country actions in Afghanistan - one of the campaigns he had just come home from - and from that day, Jake had just decided he wouldn’t like the man. He hadn’t been very subtle about disliking him, but in his opinion, Nick had paid him back in his own coin: monopolizing Y/N whenever Jake had her on the phone, making her choose between the two of them when he had had the opportunity to fly her oversea. He still felt nauseous to recall how Y/N had seemed to only look at him every time Nick was in the room with them.

He made a few steps in her direction, going to comfort her, but Y/N only shook her head. She wouldn’t let any of this go so easily. It wasn’t because she had confided in him, that he now knew all the truth from her part, that everything else would be forgotten. There were still a lot of unspoken truth to uncover.

“Why are you really here, Jake?”

“What do you mean?”

“The reason you got this leave, what is it?”

They stood less than a metre away, eyes in eyes. Jake never felt so vulnerable as every time she looked at him as if she could read his soul. He knew she was looking for something. Something he couldn’t give her.

Looking away, he answered, “It’s nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Y/N slipped away before he could even react. He watched as she turned back towards the front door. She opened it without a word and looked into his eyes as she stood leaned against it.

“Goodbye, Jake.”

And this time, he didn’t even try to fight.

Javy: Hey, got Hangman on the phone today. You okay?

Y/N: Did he vent at you for calling me that one time?

Javy: Almost.

Javy: He wasn’t really angry though. Just frustrated I guess.

Y/N: I bet. Wasn’t really the nice little break he must have planned.

Javy: If there is anything to learn from all this it is that truth is better spoken from the person they apply to.

Javy: You should talk to him.

Y/N: Yeah well I’ll see about that.

Jake was very nervous, and he wasn’t very nervous a lot.

In fact, he was pretty sure the last time he was that nervous was when he had picked Y/N up for their senior prom. Just like every year since starting high school, she had been his date - though Chad nearly had taken her away from him, but this dumbass had broken up with her only a couple of weeks before prom. That year, for some reason, everything felt different. High school years were coming to an end, they were both going to different universities. Everything was about to change, and it would never be the same. Jake had dreaded taking their relationship to the next level. If only he had known that despite going to different universities, Jake enrolling and basically the two of them living their life in parallel, their relationship had made it.

More or less so... It had been three days now since the lunch at her parents, two since their other discussion - if he would call this an argument, he was still unsure - and today was the first time he was seeing her since then.

After spending time with his family, he was on his way to meet with some of their childhood friends. Normally, Y/N was one of them and she had been invited. But with the recent events, he didn’t know if she would be here. He had had time to reflect on what had been said and finally had apologized to her voice mail as she wouldn’t let his calls through. He had given her plenty of time and space, sending in only a couple of good mornings and good nights texts, just like he was used to. Yet he didn’t know what to expect.

When he spotted her already sat at the table he had booked, his heart started pounding furiously. It gave him hope not everything between them had been broken.

“Hey,” Jake greeted Y/N softly when he had gotten at her level.

Y/N only nodded, barely looking at him, before continuing her discussion with their friend, Monica, like nothing had happened. Jake swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing to greet everyone around the table.

In all those diners they had had with their friends when he had been home, she would have been sat next to him, so close but merely touching. He would have had his arm resting nonchalantly on the back of her chair. He would have whispered all sorts of things in her ears, and she would have laughed open light-heartedly at every single one of his jokes.

That night, she was sat as far as possible from him and he had difficulty focusing on the group discussion, his mind going back to her every time. He probably went the whole evening looking at her not so subtly in the hope she would like to give him a look. She did not.

“You good?” Matt, sat at his side, asked him after the main course.

“Yeah,” Jake answered though the little tremor in his voice didn’t reflect confidence.

“Just give her a little time. It’s just a lot, y’know.”

Jake only nodded.

The problem was indeed just that: time. His flight back was in two days now and she was supposed to be his ride. He knew she would be able to drop him off without speaking a word, while he sat there in the agonizing silence. He was sure he was not able to do it for a couple of hours, he couldn’t imagine what it would be to not have her speak to him every again. He couldn’t get back to combat with Y/N still mad at him. He needed to fix things. He had been able to do it with his sisters; he had to do it with Y/N.

Indeed, the lunch had finished soon after Y/N’s dramatic departure. His sisters hadn’t spoken another word to him, and Y/N’s parents had tried to maintain some semblance of a conversation. Jake had taken a quick walk to clear his mind before going to his parents.

He had sat down with Olivia first and then Sophia, so they could tell him everything that had been going on. He sat there listening to what they had to say until they were done. There had been a lot of crying on their side (only a tiny little bit on his side - most likely because he had a dust in the eye, he would say). In the end, they had hugged and laughed and remembered that they loved each other and that nothing could be more important than that.

He had realized Olivia seemed much more at peace, somehow differently but also similarly to Y/N’s. She had so many plans on her side - buying a house, planning a trip to Europe, getting a puppy – as if she had just discovered she could be a unique person outside her marriage and she genuinely was happier.

The talk with Sophia had been a little bit more sensitive. The idea of her enrolling made his blood boiling, but he had remained calm – or at least tried to - and listened to her reasons. If he was afraid to see himself in her, her reasons were solely different than his. She didn’t want this only to do like him; it was more that he had paved the way for her. He had made her promise to think some more about it - at least, graduate from college before deciding anything - and he had promised to be supportive. He would have some work on himself, but he would cross that bridge when he’d get there.

They had of course talked about Y/N and how she was carrying the whole family on her shoulders. She always made sure everyone was alright, answering her phone at 3 a.m. to pick up Sophia from a frat party gone wild, welcoming Olivia in her tiny apartment - giving her the only bed to sleep on the couch, despite her protest - the time she turned things round after Mark and she had decided to take some time apart. She even made sure their mother was alright when his step-dad was away for business, bringing her homemade meals that she only had to heat up and keeping her company.

If he always knew what an amazingly caring person she was, it only proved him right. He would be forever grateful she was the first person to have talked to him on his first day of kindergarten. He would be forever grateful for the woman she was. If he was honest with himself, it all made him love her even more.

He wasn’t ready to watch her from afar - well, from much far away than his current position - but he would do it (or at least try), should she ask him to…

After what seemed to be an eternity, the evening finally came to an end.

Jake didn’t get the opportunity to speak to Y/N though he hesitated multiple times to just call her out or walk to her and demand that they had a chat. She was currently bidding goodbye to everyone in front of the restaurant, and Jake was watching her attentively to ambush her just as soon as she was finished. He didn’t care if he would be rude to anyone by not saying thank you for coming and goodbye; he needed to talk to her.

After she hugged Monica and promised to let her know when she got home safely, she reached for her car key in her bag and made her way to her car without even looking at him. Jake took his luck and followed her. He called after her, but she refused to acknowledge him.

“Can we not?”

“Why?” she turned around suddenly. “Want me to tell you anything else?”

“Y/N, please.”

She only raised an eyebrow before turning back and continuing walking. Too bad for her, Jake wasn’t one to give up this easily. He followed her lead up to her car that she started to unlock to get in. A wave of panic got through him as he could feel her slip away from his fingers and he didn’t want that. If they didn’t have this talk now, he was not sure they would have it at all.

“I only have two days left,” he said, interposing himself between the closed door and her. “Please.”

Y/N froze at only a few centimetres away from him. She seemed to think about what options she had. Unfortunately for her, there just wasn’t much as she couldn’t make Jake move even if she wanted to. So, she chose the reasonable choice. She crossed her arms over her chest and listened.

“I-” he sighed, passing a hand on his face, frustration clearly visible on his face now. “There has been an incident. We lost two men.”

Y/N’s arms immediately dropped to her side; the mask she wore on her face cracked. She could have been angry he lied to her, yet again, but this time, it was too serious. People died. The command had given them time off because of it. It only reminded her it could end at any time. She really could lose him.

“Jake,” she sighed.

“I-”

His voice broke and Y/N didn’t hesitate to go in for a hug. Out of habits, his arms found her waist and he buried his face in her hair. He breathed her perfume in, trying to ground himself and not totally lose it. She was his rock. There were no ways he would still be here if it wasn’t for her waiting for him at home.

He couldn’t lose her.

“I can only imagine the worry I cause you all,” he muttered in her hair. “I didn’t want to add anything to it.”

Y/N grabbed his face with both her hands and forced him to look at her. She wore a small frown on her eyebrows and determination in her eyes. While she was touched he wanted to spare their feelings, not knowing what was going on was even worse. She couldn’t count the number of times she had thought he was dead when an unknown number had called her phone. In order to support him the best way they could, they needed to know.

“Getting you back in one piece is our priority,” she started, voice bold as if she wanted him to engrave her words in his head. “That’s why we are keeping things to ourselves. We don’t want you to worry about us when you should be solely focused on staying alive.”

Jake half-smiled in return, which made Y/N relax a bit. Her hands fall on his shoulder as he kept her close to him, so close that there was no space between their two bodies. They had realized they wanted the exact same thing for one another: for them to be safe and sound.

“I worry about you all, all the time. I worry about you, all the time,” he confessed, his voice still low.

Jake reached out to tuck a loose string of hair behind her ear and Y/N instinctively leaned in his touch. It was like this between them, easy and pure. It always had. Sometimes - like these last past days, they were so caught up in life they seemed to forget what they had was so unique. Every time they had found their way back to each other.

“I left you alone while I am off, living my dream.”

“Don’t say it like you could have made any other choice, Jake.”

“I don’t regret it,” he answered right back. “Yet if I had to do it all over again, there are a lot of things about you that I would do a whole lot differently.”

Y/N nodded slowly, her heart rate slightly going up. If they often shared I-love-you’s more out of habits than anything else - though they were always genuine, Jake had never really expressed out loud how he felt about her, and from the electricity in the air - totally different from the explosive tension that had built up until now, she could feel there were more to it.

“It’s never too late, they say,” he smiled softly, his hand making it to the back of her neck.

Y/N hold her breath, searching in his eyes if he was being serious and if he was really wanting to finish the conversation they had started the night of their senior prom. If he wanted to do it right here, right now in a parking lot. It was a conversation that could have totally changed their life if they had it. A conversation for which they every so often imagined what they would have said if fear hadn’t stopped them.

If there were much younger back then, nothing now had changed at all.

“I’ve always been yours,” Y/N whispered. It would be lying if relief hadn’t wash over Jake. Of course he had known - he had always known - yet, hearing it was another thing.

“I know.”

Y/N’s bright eyes saw his eyes dove down to her lips, only a dozen of centimetres away she realized now, then back to her eyes. Her cheeks were burning up from the anticipation of what was to come. Yet, lost in each other’s eyes, none of them moved.

At that moment, the world could have stopped that they wouldn’t have noticed. Nothing else but them mattered.

“Well, kiss me then.”

[arminsumi]

🕯️♱🕯️~ 𝔦'𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔞𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔞𝔩 𝔳𝔦𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔫

GETO すぐる x fem reader

he's a cult leader. you're a virgin. and he's gotta "sacrifice" you. but not for the purpose of purifying something else... no, it's to purify you. 'cause you're a "filthy monkey", whatever that means...?

1.6k = 5 - 10 min. read

note : wellwellwell! first kinda spooky post for october. i hope i delivered. this is the very anticipated cult leader geto suguru post... but HAH!! there's actually... more in the drafts that i'm working on 😈💗 oh also... requests are open!! lmk if you want more cult leader geto or anything else :)

content : smut, cult leader Geto Suguru, virginity loss, collegeboy Sugu (but yk... he's secretly a cult leader lol)

warnings : 🔞 minors do not read/interact, cult themes, dripping hot wax on body (brief), sex on an altar, light corruption kink, some praise, slightly toxic dynamic, mean!Geto + soft!geto, dom!Geto, sub!reader, virginity loss, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, dirty talk, names (good girl, baby, angel), begging, playing with your breasts, +++

🎃 ~ more from jay : geto content // jjk content // library

hot wax drips onto your bare skin. there's symmetrically aligned candles dimly lighting around you in a circle, it's oddly symbolic of how geto suguru has entrapped you in this moment.

he'd laid you down on a stone-cold altar, right underneath a glowering statue, with an odd gentleness and carefulness; as if he were a lover laying his woman in bed.

how the hell did you get into this situation? being some cult leader's sacrificial virgin? that's some crazy shit. real fucked up shit. even more so because you consented to it.

he said;

"you know, baby, i could love you if you were ...pure.."

with a sensual, sadistic smile, mind you.

so you replied;

"i'll be your sacrificial virgin, so purify me."

with dumb, lovesick hearts in your eyes and a humorous tone of voice.

he loved how you could joke like that. maybe it was because you didn't wholly believe he was a cult leader.

after all, you'd known him as the heart throb mystery boy at college for a long time now. he used to eye you out, a beady eye staring at you with a bang curtaining it, with a fascination he thought was strange for him to have.

you were a monkey, after all, and why should you catch his eye? as if you were deserving of his love... you were filthy.

and he said;

"alright, i'll purify you."

with a deep voice. deep. very deep. it chilled you, with just how damn deep and erotic those words were. they teased a hidden meaning.

what meaning?

he just wanted to fuck your brains out. that was what he meant.

the ritual makes your stomach knotty. he smirks down at you.

he comments;

"you're shaking."

you let out a raspy moan as his cold hands trace up your forearm.

"you always secretly knew, didn't you?"

he looks you in the eyes, hand continuing to slowly caress your body.

you squeaked when he suddenly squeezed your breast. his eyes became lidded with infatuation at the sight and sensation of your plush flesh molding under his big manly hands

did he mean... that he knows you always knew he was a cult leader? no. damn his enigmatic words, you thought.

he continued;

"... you always knew that i wanted to touch you like this... and have your body all to myself. right?"

he's watching your body tense up with your growing arousal. it delights him. he's hovering over your body — then he's disrobing himself and letting his kimono sloppily slip off his shoulders not bothering to fully take it off. he wants you to see just a teasing strip of his toned physique, a glimpse of his muscular torso, a hint of his subtly curving dipping abs and...

he smirks;

"it's rude to stare."

"...sorry, suguru."

he clutches your jaw.

"what did you call me?"

he asks with a sweet tone that sends shivers down your spine.

"...i-i said i'm sorry, suguru."

"using my first name as if we're in college, huh? that won't do. that won't do at all, sweet baby. when we're in this sacred place of mine, you will refer to me as geto."

you're staying still, and that pleases him. but he knows when he slips his cock inside you, then you'll start squirming.

his hands squeeze and knead your breasts harder, rougher, he pinches and plays with your nipples and then lowers his lips on them to suckle and nip his teeth at the sensitive nub. he smirks when he feels your goosebumps on his warm lips.

one hand slides down your body, grazing your shivering skin so lightly that it makes you shiver even worse, and he dips a finger into your pussy's entrance.

he smirks and lowers his face to yours, noses touching, abyssal black eyes searing you.

he taunts;

"you're so wet... you really are a virgin, huh? i'll change that. now... angel baby... look at me... yes, look at me like that, cute little lamb expression i like that. let me hear you give me permission again. let me hear it."

and it's besides the obvious reason he's asking you for consent; he just wants to hear it from you. hear your voice say it. hear that permission come out of your mouth and no one else's. not ever.

"t-touch me, please, geto."

"mmm...?"

he hums to encourage you to say more. so you scramble your brain.

"...pleasure me, geto."

that makes his heart beat harder, makes his blood rush around his body at higher pressure.

"that's what i wanted to hear..."

he says before sliding his fingers past your entrance.

your ring of muscle contracts around him tight, but there's hardly resistance to his fingers entering you because you're dripping with juices.

he teases;

"so fucking wet... but i bet you'll still have difficulty taking my cock, huh? you're just a pretty tight little virgin, after all."

he's murmuring, lips hovering over your lips and just daring to kiss you. but he refrains. because you're still impure.

his fingers pump quick, hard. they hit your sweet spots, deep spots, gummy spots. he's mapping out your body with his hand, absorbing its reactions to his touch. he smiles when you moan for the first time. it sounds so purely erotic.

"enjoying this? need me to go faster, don't you? oh... beg for it."

"please! pleasepleaseplease! g-go faster..."

"not good enough. come on, you're not that innocent, are you?" "i-i don't know what you want me to say..."

he hums in mock contemplation. then he orders;

"tell me you want me to fucking ruin you... corrupt you... can you be that dirty for me?"

"i-i-i — ahhh~ i want you to ruin me, geto. c-corrupt me."

you repeat back for him.

he can feel his pulse in his dick at your pathetic dirty talk.

"you want my cock, don't you? say it."

"i want your cock, geto!"

"yeah? you want me to fuck you good, right here on a fucking altar? say it, say it. be a slutty little virgin for me."

"i-i want you to fuck me right here, geto!"

he's fingering faster and faster each time you obediently speak back, the base of his palm rubs up against your clit and his big hand engulfs your tiny pussy.

"now that's a good fuckin' girl... obedient, just how i like."

he pulls his fingers out with a languid drag, making sure you miss the friction when it's gone. he looks at how his fingers are glistening with your juices as he brings them to his lips. and he begins sucking your slick right off his fingers, because he wants to. it's dirty. you're dirty. but his care slips for a second.

he takes himself so seriously, fulfilling the cult leader role to his best ability, but it's funny how when he sinks his cock inside you he becomes a typical sex-thirsted college boy for a moment. he groans. loses his composition. throws his head back, rolls it to the side. he feels your pussy choking his dick.

"fuck that's... good. don't squirm, baby, don't squirm... does it hurt?"

"a little bit..."

you whimper cutely, innocent eyes batting at him.

"i'm sorry... i'm a little big. don't worry. it'll feel better soon... just trust me. hold my hand. and trust me."

so you hold his hand — or more like he pins your hand in a romantic clutch. nasty squelching sounds come from the place you two connect, and a pungent scent of yours and his arousal wafts up. he inhales deeply.

you moan. and he speaks again.

"oh, there we go... now it feels good, doesn't it?"

you nod and close your thighs around him tightly.

"that's a good girl... just give into pleasure... let me purify you. isn't that what you want?"

you nod again, moaning.

"my girl's so good for me... you really are different, aren't you? i could tell ever since we first met... i'm so glad — you — ahhh fuck — you're letting me purify you. now we can be together forever after this. you won't be all filthy like those other monkeys anymore. my cock's gonna purify that lil' pussy... don't worry."

you've never heard him use the term monkey before, and by now you're too blissed out on his dick to notice its usage. your head's so full, there's just pure electric pleasure running through your body as he pounds into you.

"gonna cum? that's okay. cum all you need. moan all you need. let it out."

he purposefully angles his cock so that it beats into a better sweet spot, and he relishes in your reaction.

"there... cum, cum for me just like that."

he rubs at your clit, helping you cum. watching your body shake and freak out makes him let out a low chuckle.

feeling your contractions and pulsations around his cock brings him closer.

"fuck... 'm gonna cum."

and that's his idea of "purifying" you; cumming inside your tiny pussy.

so he lets out a long, chesty groan and cums deep inside, there's a primal shift in his demeanor when he orgasms and it just makes you cum again.

"oh... that's it... hah, look at you... you're glowing. you did so good for me, angel."

his voice is so saccharine, his eyes sparkle with more affection for you.

"took it all like a goddess..."

he admires your body for a moment, observing the glistening sweat. his eyes trail down between your thighs, where his cock is nuzzled deep inside and his shaft is messy with his cream and your cream.

and he kisses you for the first time, because now you're "pure" enough to deserve his lips.

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

DAY FIFTEEN: Make-Up Sex w/ Dean Winchester

a/n: Now that I feel better, though still albeit exhausted, I'm now literally running, jumping, fucking skipping to get caught up because somehow October decided to actually speed run it's own month like the hell???

masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3

TAGLIST: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus

Being with Dean Winchester was challenging at times, because no matter how much he trusts you or how good things really are, he's always expecting the rug to be pulled out from under him. Even if sometimes he is the metaphorical rug.

You've had many arguments before, but none of them have hurt like this. You often found yourself in bed alone, usually because the boys were out hunting or catching up on lore, and you were honestly okay with that because duh— they were saving the world! But, sometimes you missed having some cuddle time with your boyfriend, but apparently he did not feel the same.

When you came to peel him away from whatever article he was reading on the computer, he snapped at you, saying some things that were very unnecessary. It had sent you back to bed angrier and more hurt than you had ever been before.

It only took a few minutes of harsh silence before he came stomping down the hallway and into your shared room. You didn't dare move a muscle, remaining on your side with your arms crossed and glare settled on the wall in front of you.

He took a moment to kick off his shoes and shuck off his flannel before shuffling into bed behind you, a heavy hand resting on your plush hip that was covered by the duvet.

"Sweetheart…" He began. "Go away, Dean." You said coldly, unravelling your arms to shove his hand off of you. 

"Look— I'm sorry." He rasped quietly. "Could've fooled me." He sighed. "I— didn't mean what I said, I'm just… tired. This case has been whoppin' me and Sammy's ass." He explained. "I just wanna catch this thing before it kills anyone else, and I ended up taking my anger out on you and you didn't deserve it," Dean took your body relaxing as a sign to be able to spoon you. "Fuck, honey. I'm sorry."

You chewed on your bottom lip thoughtfully. A part of you didn't want to give in, but the other part acknowledges that Dean never apologises unless he really means it.

"You really hurt my feelings, you know?" You whispered meekly. "I know baby, I know." He murmured into your neck.

You basked in his closeness, in the strength of his arm wrapped around your softened midsection. You shivered when you felt him place gentle kisses onto the exposed skin of your neck, the arm holding you pressed your back harder onto his chest.

"Let me take care'a you." He said seductively, his palm slipping up to cup your braless breast. You whimpered at the feeling, but nonetheless grinded back on his growing bulge as he stimulated your nipples.

"Please." You breathlessly begged. 

He was quick to turn you on your back, lips slamming down on yours. He devoured your mouth, his tongue demanding entrance as his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your pajama shorts. He groaned lowly at the fact that you had no panties on.

"Was this what you were gonna give me to make me feel better?" He asked with an amused smirk painted on his lips. Your skin flushed but you nodded shyly. "If it would have helped you, yeah." You confessed sheepishly. "Can't believe I was such an asshole to my sweet girl." 

His fingers teased your damp folds, sliding a finger between them to collect your slick before prodding at your entrance. Your breath caught in your throat, a small whine leaving you as he joined your lips together once more.

It was as though he was trying to destroy you from the inside-out. His strong fingers worked your entrance open, the man slipping in a second finger. Your legs twitched around his arm, loud mewls passing between the both of you whenever he'd hit your g-spot. 

You pulled away from your spit soaked kiss to cry out. "Dean, baby, 'm gonna cum!" 

He slipped in a third and final finger. He twisted his wrist torturously, his thumb reaching up to rub furiously at your clit. Your hand gripped desperately at his wrist, holding it to your body as you desperately rode his hand. 

"There you go, sweetheart. There ya go." He talked you through your orgasm. "Dean… Dean…" All you could whimper was his name.

"Fuck." You heaved after taking a few moments to catch your breath. "You okay?" He asked gruffly. You nodded your head, your own fingers tangling themselves up in his spiky hair. 

"I need you in me." You said as you cradled the back of his head. "Don't know if I deserve it." It sounded as if the big bad Dean Winchester was actually pouting! 

"Ugh, just c'mere." You said with a grin, tugging your boyfriend over your body. "If you don't fuck me, then I'll be sad again. How does that sound?" You asked playfully. "Not good." He murmured with a matching grin.

He was quick to take off his jeans, practically falling over himself to get naked as you finally stripped yourself of your own as well. Both of you were as naked as the day you were born by the time he had his cock lined up to your entrance.

His tip teased your clit, which caused you to whine in displeasure. "Dean…" He chuckled lightly. "Sorry, honey." 

With his hands on either side of your head, he entered you, your head falling back in pleasure at the feeling.

"Jesus." He groaned. "Feels so good, baby." He praised. Tiny whimpers left you as he bottomed out, sheathed all the way to the hilt as your velvety walls fluttered around him selfishly.

"Shit! Please move." You begged. 

Dean would be damned if you had to beg for fucking anything tonight. Pulling out slowly, he slammed his hips into yours. A loud smack! Resounded throughout the room, a choked moan slipping out of you.

"Ah!" His tip brushed against your g-spot pleasurably. Your nails dug into his back as he pounded into you, holding onto the older man for dear life as he continually stretched you out.

Your velvety walls sucked him in greedily, like they were practically trying to keep him inside of you. You could feel that familiar coil in your stomach tighten continuously, a feeling that Dean had made sure you were familiar with for the past years that you've been with him.

Your pussy burned with overstimulation as you neared your end, and it made it harder for Dean to move in and out of you.

"You gonna cum, baby?" He asked through gritted teeth. "Y— yes!" You stuttered. "Cum for me then, sweetheart." Your hand slipped down to rub at your clit hurriedly, your back arching at the overwhelming feeling.

"Fuck!" You swore as you came, your chest pressed against Dean's. One of his arms held himself up as the other stretched over your back to keep your plush upper body anchored to him as you rode out your high.

"Holy shit." You gasped, your chest heaved with each quick breath you attempted to take. 

"Best apology ever." You said with a hazy laugh.

[crypticreid]

KINKTOBER DAY THREE

October 8 -- Begging

masterlist

author's note: this was supposed to be mutual masturbation, but I wasn't feeling it, so I switched it to begging. Thank you again for everyone reading and supporting. 💕💕💕 If you'd like to be added to the tag list, let me know! 🎃🎃🎃

summary: Spencer can't help but be upset with the choice you made, so he takes out his frustration in your hotel room later.

warnings: female reader, dom!spencer, begging, a little bit of 'good girl', hand job, fingering, female receiving oral, multiple orgasms

word count: 3.6k

this is adut content. 18+ plus only. minors do not interact!

His eyes flick over to you, and you can read him like a book. The anger and frustration battle across his features as he opens his mouth to argue against your suggestion. You speak before he can, “I know this is dangerous, but I trust all of you to keep me safe. We have to do this.” Spencer slams his mouth shut and forcefully turns his head from you. Your stomach drops, but you know you’re making the right decision. This case will be over in a couple of hours, and then you can talk this out with him, and everything will be fine. 

If anyone notices Spencer’s reaction, they don’t say anything. Instead, most of the team looks at you with worried expressions. Hotch is assessing you, his arms crossed tight over his broad chest. “This guy is erratic and unpredictable.” He says in his calm and calculated tone. 

“He’s going to attack tonight. We know that this vigil is going to draw him. He can’t resist it. All I need to do is distract him long enough for you to move in.” You explain rationally. “We can’t allow more people to die, and I’m the only one who hasn’t been identified as an agent by the media.” 

You refuse to break eye contact with Hotch. You steady your breathing and straighten your shoulders. You’re confident in this choice, and Hotch knows you won’t back down. He nods, “okay.” 

“Okay?” Spencer interjects, his voice breaking slightly from his heightened emotion. “You can’t be serious, Hotch.” 

“This is her choice.” Hotch answers, and everyone in the room seems to hold their breath as they wait for you to reply. 

Hotch clears his throat, “let’s get started. We’ve got four hours until the vigil.” 

You level your gaze at Spencer, trying to telepathically tell him you’re sorry. “I have to do this.” Spencer’s jaw sets hard. You see the muscles flex against each other. He turns away from you and leaves the room.

“He’s just worried. We all are.” Emily reaches out for you and rubs a comforting hand up and down your arm. You nod. 

You don’t see Spencer again until you’re in the SUV five blocks away from the site of the vigil. Morgan had spent the entire ride over repeating the plan to you and making sure you understood exactly where everyone else was going to be. You kept nodding and letting him start over again because you knew that this was how Morgan made himself feel better about the situation. Before he got out of the vehicle, he had reached over to the passenger seat and grasped your shoulder. “You’re brave. And you’re damn good at your job. We’ll catch this bastard.” 

Now you’re alone, glancing at the watch on your wrist. In ten minutes, you’re going to get out of the car and walk toward the vigil. It’s chilly enough that you have a jacket on, and it doesn’t even look like you’re wearing a vest underneath your clothing. You let out a shaky breath and try to calm your nerves. 

You jump when the passenger door swings open and you reach for your holster automatically. “It’s me.” Spencer says, and you take your hand away. 

“You’re supposed to already be at the vigil.” You mutter and look straight ahead out the windshield because you can’t look at him. You can’t handle seeing any sort of anger on his face. 

“I know.” He says your name, and you turn to face him. The anger in his eyes has dissipated, and only fear remains. 

“Spencer, I’ll be –” You start, but you’re interrupted by his hands grabbing the side of your face and pulling you in for a kiss. It’s forceful and meaningful, and your hands find a tight grip on his shoulders. The two of you say goodbye to each other with your lips and tongues, neither one of you wanting to break apart, to face reality. 

Finally, he pulls away from you and sets his hands on your shoulders. “Be safe. Please.” 

You incline your head toward his, connecting your forehead to his. “I will.” 

He kisses you again, with less force, but with the same meaning, and then steps away and closes the car door. You watch as he walks down the alley until he completely disappears. And then a few minutes later, you get out and walk the opposite direction down the alley. 

Your hotel room is dark, and only the lights on the nightstand work, but you’re too exhausted to complain. After wrapping the case, Hotch had told everyone to head to the hotel for a few hours, and you would fly out in the morning. No one argued because you hadn’t even seen your hotel room since landing. 

You’ve taken a shower, changed into pajamas, and started to get comfortable in bed when there’s a knock on your door. You climb out of bed and look through the peephole to see Spencer standing in the hallway. Quickly, you open the door and step aside for him to come inside. As soon as you shut the door and turn around, he has his hands on you, your waist, your hips, shaky hands traveling across your skin. 

“I’m okay, Spencer. Not even a scratch. I’m fine.” You reassure him with a calm and steady voice. He doesn’t stop his hands and won’t look you in the eyes, so you reach out for him. Your own hands hold onto both sides of his face and force him to look into your eyes. “I’m fine.” You repeat. 

He swallows and nods and blinks away the tears that were gathering in his eyes. “Don’t do that again, please.” 

You know you can’t promise that, but you also know that Spencer doesn’t want to hear that right now. “Okay.” He kisses your cheek. “Okay.” He kisses your other cheek and then your forehead and, finally, your lips. His hands on your hips pull you tighter against him like he can’t have you close enough, like he wants the two of you to merge together as one person. Your hands move up into his hair, fingers tangling into soft locks, nails scratching against his scalp. His moan vibrates against your lips, and he deepens the kiss. His grip on your hips is vice-like. You groan into his mouth. 

He mumbles your name, and you answer with a moan, suddenly desperate for every part of him. The stress of the day comes to a head, and you just want your mind to go blank. Spencer is the only person who can make your brain stop its constant ruminations. 

“Please, Spencer.” You urge him with your words, but also a quick movement of your hips against him. You move your hands away from his hair and down the back of his neck toward his clavicle and then start to fumble with the buttons of his shirt. 

You only get one button undone before he says, “stop.” He breaks away from your lips, and his hands wrap around both of your wrists and pull your hands off of his shirt. When you look into his eyes, the anger is back, not as fiery and passionate as it was hours before but low and simmering just below the surface. “You think you just get what you want after that?” 

His voice is heavy with emotion, and it zings straight to your lower belly. You want to smile, but press your lips together instead and shake your head. 

“Answer me.” 

“No.” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t give you anything tonight, huh?” He moves one of your wrists into his other hand so that he has both of them wrapped in one hand. The hand that's now free moves to your neck, a finger trailing down to your clavicle. You swallow against it. “I should leave this room right now. Leave you all alone and so needy.” 

You swallow again. “Spencer, please.” 

He lifts your wrists above your head and pushes you up against the door of the hotel room in rapid succession. You let out a sharp gasp at the movement. “Please, what? What do you want?” His other hand has found another place back on your hip, gripping it, his thumb rubbing back and forth on a bit of skin peeking out from your old Academy t-shirt. 

“Please don’t leave.” You whisper. The hand on your hip slides underneath your shirt and up your stomach toward your breasts. His fingertips are barely there against your skin, enough to make your skin tingle, and goosebumps bloom, but not enough to satiate any need for his touch. 

He drags one of his fingers across the underside of your breast, and your hands twitch in his grasp above your head. He twists his grip and tightens it. 

The hand near your breast spreads across your breast and grabs it. You arch your back into his touch. “You need it so bad, don’t you?” 

“Yes. I need it.” You don’t even attempt to play coy and press your thighs together, trying to get any sort of relief between them. 

Spencer ducks his head against your exposed neck and kisses it roughly, nips at it without leaving a mark, and then licks and soothes where his teeth nibbled. “Are you going to listen?” 

You nod before realizing that you need to answer verbally. “Yes. Yes. I will. I promise.” 

He laughs against your neck. His breaths on your skin make you press your thighs tighter together. “You’re going to do as you’re told.” It isn’t a question. 

“Yes.” You confirm. 

His lips find yours again, and the hand up your shirt tightens on your breast, his thumb finding your nipple, teasing it back and forth. He kisses you slowly, pulling your bottom lip with his teeth and then racing to brush his tongue against it. A constant tug of war between a ping of pain and a rush of comfort. You take all of it, anything he is willing to give you, you want all of it. 

When his thumb and pointer finger takes your nipple and rolls it between a pinch of his fingers, you let out a desperate noise. 

“Spencer.” 

He makes a deep noise from the back of his throat but doesn’t stop kissing you or pinching your nipple. A pulse all of its own begins in your core, fluttery and demanding. 

“I’ll do anything, please.”  He bites at your clavicle, the only place he’s marked you so far because he knows it will be covered by your shirt in the morning. 

“You’re going to leave your hands above your head, do you understand?” He finally instructs. 

“Yes.” 

“You don’t get to touch me.” 

“Spencer,” you start to protest, but you look into his eyes and stop yourself. 

“You touch me, and I stop. Do you understand?” 

You swallow. “Yes.”  

“Good.” He goes back to your neck, teasing and tasting your skin, driving you crazy with want. But you don’t dare move. If he pulls away completely now and leaves, you think you might lose your mind. 

In between his soft bites, he instructs, “I’m going to let go of your wrists, okay? But you’re not going to move them. Leave them exactly where they are. And then I’m going to get on my knees and make you come as many times as I want. But if you touch me at all, I’m going to go back to my hotel room and leave you here all alone. Okay?” 

“Okay.” You nod feverishly. He lets go of your wrists, and you don’t move a muscle. 

He smiles smugly and pinches your nipple one last time before sliding down to his knees in front of you. His fingers graze up the back of your calves and thighs and then to the front of your thighs. He pushes your legs apart, and you lean back further on the door for support as he pulls down your pajama pants, leaving your underwear on. 

“Look at you,” he tuts. “Soaking through your panties just from a couple of kisses.” 

You let out a frustrated breath. “It was more than a couple kisses.” 

A muscle in his jaw ticks, and you slam your mouth shut. “Are you going to waste my time? Talking back with that smart mouth?” 

“No.” 

“I can think of better uses for that mouth. You can’t talk back with my cock down your throat, can you?” 

You swallow harshly, and you feel yourself getting wetter. “No, I can’t.” 

He leans forward, and you hold your breath, waiting, but he kisses your inner thigh instead. And then he starts the same pattern of kissing and nipping he’d done earlier, but now on your thigh. His hands are on your ass, massaging and rubbing. As he moves to your other thigh, he makes a point to incline toward the place you need him so desperately, but he only exhales across it. You whimper, and you feel the turn of a smile on his lips as he presses into your thigh. 

It is basically torture, and it’s taking every single ounce of self control you have not to grab his head and put him exactly where you want him. You know you can’t, so you beg instead, “please, Spencer. I can’t take the teasing anymore.” 

“Aw, my poor baby.” He taunts, and you grunt when he pulls away completely and removes his hands. He sits back on his heels and looks up at you. “Take off your shirt.” 

You do what he asks rapidly and then put your hands back above your head without him asking. He smiles, “good girl.” 

The room is dim, shadows play across his face, but he watches you as you breathe, your breasts rising and falling. He lifts hands and presses his palms up your stomach and then back down, causing more goosebumps springing up across your skin, toward your core, but he bypasses it and travels down your thighs instead. “I think you’ve ruined these panties, baby.” He laughs, mesmerized by the growing wet spot. Your clit is throbbing and you feel like you could fall apart with only one single touch from him. 

“What would you do if I stopped now?” He wraps his hands across your thighs and squeezes and then looks up to your eyes. “Stood up and walked out of this room?” 

You would probably spend the rest of your night touching yourself until you couldn’t handle it, but you don’t want that. “Please don’t.” You reply instead. “Please touch me, Spencer.” 

He squeezes your thighs again. “I am touching you.” 

You groan, frustrated. “Touch my pussy, please. I need it.” You give in. He can’t help his smile as he moves one hand over slightly and uses his thumb to touch the wet spot on your underwear. He presses into you over the fabric. It’s only the tip of the iceberg, but you moan anyway because you’re so desperate. 

He presses deeper, wetting his thumb through the fabric, and then moves it upward, finally rubbing over your throbbing clit. You let out a shaky breath and lean forward slightly. His thumb rubs up and down on your clit lightly, practically a feather-like touch. He doesn’t use any pressure on it. You move your hips forward, trying to force some pressure, but just pulls away. 

“Spencer.” You whimper. 

He laughs, “so whiney.” He puts his thumb back and continues in the exact same way as before. You lean back fully back on the door with a small cry. “Do you want to come?” He asks.

You screw your eyes shut and nod furiously. 

“Open your eyes and answer me.” 

You force your eyes open. “I want to come, please, Spencer.” You try to get rid of the whine in your voice, but you don’t succeed.  

“Yeah, I can tell you do.” He uses just a little more pressure on your clit and begins to circle it. You shiver and let out a pitiful moan. “So needy. So desperate.” He mutters and leans forward to kiss along your thigh again. Your hips buck against him involuntarily. “You can come whenever you want, baby.” 

“I need more.” 

“No.” He kisses your thigh again and looks up to your eyes. “You come from this.” You curl your toes on the floor and push your head back. “I’ll give you more when you come.” His thumb continues its barely enough circles on your clit and you exhale. “Don’t you want more?” 

“Yes!” You huff. 

“Then come.” He nips your inner thigh, moving closer and closer to your clenching pussy, but never actually reaching it. His other hand moves back to your ass and he kisses your other thigh. You can feel the deep pleasure at the base of your spine and you give yourself over to it. “That’s it, so good, baby. Come just like this.” 

You come hard and force your hands to stay above your head, your hips bucking against Spencer’s hand. He moves his hand from your ass and holds onto your hip to stay your movements. Once you come down from your high he pulls down your underwear and sticks his thumb into your pussy. 

“You're dripping, baby.” He murmurs and fingers you for a few seconds until swiping the thumb back up to your clit. You’ve barely had time to recover from your first orgasm and you let out a small breathy shout. “Ssshh, we can’t let anyone else hear how needy you are.” 

You bit your lip to contain your whimpers. Spencer’s thumb circles your clit, using the pressure you need. Another wave of pleasure is already rising, gathering low in your belly. “Do you want my fingers, baby?” 

“Please. Spencer. Yes. I need them. Please.” You ramble. 

He takes the hand that’s on your hip and inserts his middle and ring fingers into you, immediately pressing into you, rubbing against the spot inside you that makes you want to scream. You swallow the shout that you can’t let out and instead continue to ramble to Spencer. Your legs shake as you give into another wave of pleasure. 

“That’s it, give me another one. So good, baby.” You come against his hand again, but this time Spencer doesn’t let you come down from it. Instead, he moves the hand off your clit and grips your hip to hold you in place as his mouth replaces his hand. You ride his tongue through the aftershocks of your orgasm and let the next wave begin to crest. His fingers never falter as he fingers you. He pulls away for only a split second, “touch me.” 

Your hands fall from the door instantly and tangle in his hair, grasping and scratching, finally getting to push him harshly into you. He moans against you, sending vibrations up your body. You come one more time with a small shout, as quiet as you can. Your legs are shaky and unstable, but Spencer holds you tightly as he takes his time licking you clean. 

When he stands up to his full height, you pull him into a kiss and then lower your hands down to his belt. He breaks the kiss, “I don’t have a condom.” 

You kiss him and continue to take off his belt. “I don’t care.” You get his belt undone, unbuckle his pants, and reach in to take him in your hand. He’s unbelievably hard. The feeling of him is so heavy in your hand. 

He puts his hands on your shoulders as he takes a shuddering breath. “You should care. We haven’t talked about this yet. And you’re in the heat of the moment.” He rationalizes. 

You stick out your bottom lip because you know he’s right. “Can we talk about it later? Cause I want you, all of you.” You squeeze the base of him. His eyes flutter shut and then flip back open as he licks his bottom lip. 

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll talk about it.” Then he kisses you again as you pump your hand up and down on him, your thumb swiping at his leaking head. “Oh shit. Don’t stop.” He stutters against your lips. His kisses are sloppy and nothing like his calculated kisses earlier, but you don’t care. He’s pumping his hips into you, so completely lost in the feeling of your hand on him. 

It doesn’t take long until he’s moaning into your mouth, “so good. You’re so good,” he rambles. One of his hands reaches for your hair and pulls your head back so he can look into your eyes. You bite your bottom lip, and he comes in his pants with a harsh grunt. 

He kisses you, and you keep moving your hand until he’s hissing from sensitivity and pulling away from you. 

The hand in your hair tightens and pulls you back into a deep kiss until you're both breathless. You subtly wipe your hand on his underwear because they’re already a mess, and then both hands hold onto his waist until his kisses slow down. 

“I’m sorry for being angry.” He finally says. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow. I guess today, technically. But at home, I mean.” He looks into your eyes, searching. 

He nods. “Okay.” And he kisses you again, light and feathery. “I need to go clean up before we leave.” 

Your fingers play with the edge of his pants. “Or you could stay, and I could clean you up.” You offer with a not so innocent smile. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He kisses you chastely and pulls away. He looks around for your shirt and pants and then helps you get dressed again. “See you on the jet.” 

You step away from the door and let him leave. In a few hours, you’ll have to board the jet and pretend that the genius profiler on your team didn’t just give you three mind blowing orgasms, so for now you allow yourself to watch him walk down the hotel hallway. He scrambles to buckle his belt as he walks and then runs a hand through his hair, clearly flustered. You go back into your room with a smile.

tag list: @spenciesprincess @catalinasroom @tylevx @alicentswife

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 28: Newcomer

Life changes for you in Jackson. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-26 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst because duh. Canon-typical violence. Reference to past SA. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 14.1k (SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME TO CALM DOWN)

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

October, 2027

���Is everything OK?” You frowned as you watched as Savvy pushed her scrambled eggs from one side of her plate to the other, her head propped against her hand and a flat look on her face. 

She shrugged and moved the pile of eggs again. 

“Need to eat before school,” you said, not really paying much attention to your own plate. 

“Why?” Savvy snapped, looking up at you. “So I can have energy to go sit in a chair all day? No thanks.” 

You sighed, jaw tense, and set your fork down, crossing your arms and leaning on the table. 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“Not really,” she looked back at her plate and moved the eggs again. 

“I might be able to help,” you said, smiling a little at her from across the table. “Believe it or not, I was a teenager once, too. And life here isn’t all that different from the life I had when I was your age.” 

“Yeah, so you’ve said,” she muttered, an edge in her voice. 

You watched her for a moment, feeling more distant from your daughter than you ever had when she was physically so close. 

Becoming a part of Jackson had been a rough transition for Savvy. It just had taken you a while to see it. 

At first, you were so relieved to have her with you again that everything else was white noise. 

For a bit, that day at the stables, you were rooted to the ground. You were afraid to move too far, like if you left that space she’d vanish again. You couldn’t bear to stop touching her to walk home, your arms around her shoulders and holding her body to yours the entire way. 

She clung onto you, too, early on. There was so much she didn’t know and so much you didn’t know that she didn’t know. Things about life in Jackson that were innate to you - muscle memory from a time the crumbling world was forgetting - were completely foreign to her. 

Savvy had the same problem with electricity you had when coming to town, sitting with her fingers in her ears when you weren’t talking for the first few days she was there. She was amazed by so much. She’d seen and read about things like stoves and refrigerators, showers and CD players but she’d never used them. It was like she existed outside of the modern era, approaching it all with skeptical caution as she adjusted to the reality she now lived in. You did your best to guide her through it, showing her everything and explaining how it worked as best you could. 

The two of you didn’t leave the house the first week she was there. You didn’t need to, food boxes appearing again. It was a good thing, too, because you were too busy catching up on everything that had happened in the years you’d been apart and getting to know each other again to venture out. 

Savvy had never been captured by Mitchum and his men. They’d gotten close to her once, one of his men the first person she ever killed. She managed to slip away but had to leave Nike behind. 

After that, she wanted nothing to do with people. She knew how to run and how to hide, how to get away quick when she heard or sensed something coming. She had become an expert at being alone, living off the land, crossing all over the region so she was never in one place for long enough to tip off any of the more powerful groups. It was a miracle that Joel had found her at all. 

Getting adjusted to the people of Jackson was a struggle. She’d only ever been around maybe half a dozen people at once before, when you’d run into a family making their way through your territory and you decided it was safe for her to meet them. 

Here, there were hundreds. 

“Why are there so many of them?” She asked quietly the first time you left the house, her arm looped with yours as you passed a cluster of kids running toward the playground, a haggard looking man chasing after them. 

You frowned. 

“What do you mean?” 

“The people,” she said, watching the kids for a moment with a small frown on her face before looking back to you. “There’s… there’s so many of them. There’s not enough space here, how does everyone live here?”

You smiled a little. 

“This is what people did all the time before,” you said. “People like us were the odd ones.” 

She crinkled her nose. 

“Maybe that’s why the world ended,” she said. “Not enough room for us all.” 

“I think you’ll like people once you get to know them,” you said, giving her a little squeeze. “They’re good people here. And you always had fun playing with the kids we met before…” 

“That was a long time ago,” she said, voice sharp. 

“I know,” you said, trying not to let the hurt at the thought of your time with her being long ago now. “But you were always good with people. Definitely better than I was. I think you’ll like it, once you understand it.” 

“Maybe,” she said, skeptical. “I don’t know. I just… I kind of like it. Being by myself.” 

“That’s OK,” you replied. “Doesn’t mean you can’t like people, too.” 

“Right,” she nodded, looking at the ground. 

She really had not enjoyed starting school. 

Savvy just came with you to the stables when you starred back at work again. She immediately bonded with the horses and spent an hour just standing next to Perseus, her head pressed against his large shoulder, her eyes closed. 

You tried to not push her too fast or too far. You knew it was a big adjustment, that she would need time. But you also knew how important this time of her life was. She’d been totally alone for so long and you wanted more for her. She should have a chance to get to know kids her own age, to make friends, to fall in love, to have a life that she looked forward to and shared with people she cared about. Instead, she was hiding away. 

So you brought her to meet Susan, the woman who taught most of the older kids in Jackson, one afternoon. She was sitting at her desk, papers in front of her and gray hair twisted into a knot on the top of her head with a pencil holding it in place. She smiled when you came in, Savvy against your side with her brows together and her features drawn tight. You were reminded of when she was a little girl and you were first teaching her how to kill. How she wanted so badly for things to stay the way they were. 

“I thought I might be seeing you two soon,” she smiled and introduced herself and gestured for you to sit on the other side of her desk. “Why don’t we get to know each other a little bit?” 

She asked Savvy a few questions and Savvy looked at you before answering each one, her hand tight on your knee, your hand in the middle of her back. Susan gave Savvy a few work sheets and pulled you aside while she did them. 

“Do you have any idea what her skill level is?” She asked quietly. “I’ve never worked with a student who’s coming into this quite like she is…” 

“I’m not sure,” you said, looking back toward the door that separated you from your daughter. “I tried my best when I was with her but I was never some great student, didn’t like school much and I never went to college, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing…” 

Susan reached out, her touch catching you off guard and you had to fight not to jump, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

“You did everything you could,” she said. “No one would expect you to run an elementary school when trying to survive the end of the world. But students backslide over summer break let alone something like this. Years on her own not keeping up with what she was taught and no formal schooling to begin with… she might have a lot of ground to cover.” 

You just nodded, trying not to blame yourself for whatever Savvy was missing. Even though you knew, deep down, it was your fault. 

But she hadn’t let her skills totally lapse in the last few years. When she stopped and checked houses and stores for clothes and shelf stable food, she also found books to read and something to write in. Her language skills were advanced and she had a good understanding of biology. But her math was rudimentary at best and her history knowledge was spotty, limited to areas that had caught your attention or hers through the years. 

“I can put her with the other kids her age,” Susan said, her voice low as Savvy browsed the book shelves at the back of the classroom. “We’ll see how she does. I’m more worried about the socialization than I am anything academic. She’s not used to being around her peers or more than one or two other people at a time, it might be a lot for her…” 

“Do you think it would be better if I kept her home?” You asked, the sting of tears at the back of your throat. What if you’d doomed your daughter to a life of loneliness because you hadn’t sought out a place like Jackson when she was little? What if she never had a chance to experience things beyond just survival because you’d kept her away from it? 

“No,” Susan said, more definitively than you’d expected. “But it might be better to… ease her into the school experience. Just an hour or two at first and build up to it, plan to have her join during quieter periods when there’s lecture and not group work quite yet, that sort of thing.”

You nodded slowly, jaw tight as you watched Savvy pick a book off the shelf and turn it over to read the back. Susan rested her hand gently on your shoulder, making you jump and look back at her. She didn’t seem to notice. 

“Children are resilient,” she said gently. “They adjust and adapt. She will be OK.” 

You nodded, a few tears slipping free. 

“Mom?” Savvy called. 

You quickly dried the tears and sniffed. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I bring this home?” She came over and handed you the book. It was Little Women. “It sounds good…” 

“It is good,” you said, clearing your throat and hoping she couldn’t hear the change in your voice. “But it’s not my book to lend, you’ll have to ask Ms. Parker.” 

“Right,” she said, turning to her but looking more to the side than directly at her. “Is it OK?” 

“Promise you’ll bring it back when you come to my classes?” Susan asked, smiling and trying to meet her eyes. “And that you’ll take good care of it?” 

Savvy just nodded. 

“Then yes,” she said. “You can borrow it.” 

She smiled tightly and turned to go before you stopped her.

“Savvy,” you said. Like you, she’d forgotten what it was like to interact with other people after being totally alone for so long. You’d taught her please and thank you when she was little but, once it was just her and the animals, the habit had slipped away. 

“Right,” she said, turning back and actually looking at Susan this time. “Thank you.” 

Susan smiled. 

“You’re welcome. I hope you enjoy it and I’ll see you soon in class.” 

Savvy looked to you and you put your arm around her waist and guided her home. 

She’d taken pretty well to school, all things considered. She liked to learn and was an engaged student, according to Susan. But she got bored easily and wasn’t the most tolerant of other students’ tendencies to goof off or talk during class. She also didn’t understand when the other kids teased her.

Sean, one of the older boys, sneered at her once and called her the wild girl. 

“So?” Savvy had frowned. 

“You’re not civilized,” he’d said. “Shouldn’t be here with us humans, should be out there with the fucking animals…” 

You only knew about it at all because Ellie overheard the incident and handled it herself. 

“Ellie!” You’d gaped at her when she told you as she leaned against the stall you were in. “What did you do?” 

“Beat the shit out of him until he went home to cry to his mommy,” she sneered the last word, mocking and righteous.

You weren’t sure whether you wanted to hug her or scold her. 

“You’re an adult now,” you said, going back to brushing down Shimmer. “You really shouldn’t beat up children…” 

“OK first of all, he’s 16,” she said. “Second, he’s got a foot on me, not my problem if he’s a little bitch…” 

“And thank you,” you cut her off. “For protecting her.” 

She just shrugged. 

“I was the wild girl once,” she said. “Sucks sometimes.” 

“She OK?” You asked, realizing that you’d never thought you’d need to navigate things like bullies with Savvy until that moment. 

“Fine,” Ellie shrugged again. “She didn’t seem that bothered by it, actually. Pissed me off more than her.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“I can introduce her to some people who don’t fucking suck,” Ellie said after a minute. “And she can come hang out with me and Dina and Jesse sometimes.” 

“Isn’t she a little young to be running around with y’all?” You frowned. 

“Not really,” Ellie shrugged. “And we won’t let her get into too much trouble.” 

You sighed, brush frozen on Shimmer’s side. The horse huffed, turning back to look at you, a sense of judgement in her eyes. 

“Try not to be a bad influence on my kid,” you said, glancing at Ellie, who smirked. 

“Bad influence? Me? Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Ellie did introduce her to some of the older kids who were still in school and Savvy started staying after school to hang out with them a few times per week. There was one boy, Kyle, who she started talking about a lot, a small smile tugging at her lips when she did. 

She also started going to movie nights and even to the mess hall with people besides you, easing into knowing people. She even slept over at Ellie’s once, leaving you anxiously pacing your house all night, not able to shake the feeling that she should be here and she wasn’t. There was the lingering thought that, maybe, you’d only ever imagined her coming back at all and you’d been alone all this time. You left the lamp on by the front door for the first time since she’d come back and you slept on the couch, waking with a jolt when she came home the next morning. 

But she’d started pushing back against you for the last two weeks. She answered questions in as few words as possible, she pushed her curfew when she went out with her friends, she snapped at you when you asked her to help around the house. 

You were taken aback by it. You’d never had conflict like this with her before. Of course, it was hard for her to rebel much when there was nothing else for her to rebel WITH, no other people or forbidden substances to act out with. But she’d also only been 11 when you’d been taken. She was 15 now. You weren’t sure how much would have always happened this way and how much she was picking up now that she was around other teenagers. 

“Do you not want to go to school anymore?” You asked gently from across the table. Her hair was extra wild today, her all but shoving you away when you tried to braid it before heading to the mess hall for breakfast. She’d refused all attempts to contain it, curls springing in every direction. 

“Is that what I said?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at you. 

“No,” you said. “But I’m trying to understand how you’re feeling, honey. I can tell you’re upset by something and…” 

“Were you ever going to tell me about you and Joel?” She snapped. 

Your heart stuttered. 

“What?” 

“You and Joel,” she said. “You were together, right? Were you ever going to tell me about that?” 

“I… I don’t…” you just blinked for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. “Where did you hear about that?” 

“Something Ellie said tipped me off,” she replied. “Don’t think she realized she was giving away some big secret…” 

“It’s not a secret, honey, it’s just…” you sighed. “It’s not… it’s not important right now, you’re what’s important and…” 

“Am I?” She smacked her fork down on the table hard enough that you startled away from the sound. “Doesn’t feel like it.” 

“What do you mean?” You asked, chest getting tight. “Savvy, you’re the most important…” 

“Did you even try to find me?” She cut you off. Her eyes were glistening and her face was drawn, tight and hurt. “Did you even bother to really look? Because I looked for you. I looked for you for years, Mom! I searched and I searched and I thought I’d find you eventually. I thought you must have really been hurt to have not come and found me so I needed to find you because my mom would never have just left me like that. 

“After a while, I thought you must have died, that’s the only thing I thought would have kept you from finding me again,” she kept going, voice a little louder, the people around you at the mess hall awkwardly glancing away. “And that hurt and I missed you and I felt… I felt so guilty about that because I knew that if I just hadn’t been there you’d still be alive and you were only gone because of me and that was the only thing that would have kept you away from me. But I was wrong, you were just… you were here the whole time, here having some happy life with some man like you had before and… did you forget about me? Once you found this place was I just nothing to you anymore?” 

“No!” You just gaped at her from across the table. “No, that’s not what happened, that’s not at all…” 

“I have school,” she stood up, picking up her plate of half eaten eggs as she did. 

“No,” you shook your head, standing up, too. “No, we need to talk about this, if this is how you’ve been feeling, we can go home and…” 

“Do you want me to go learn freaking algebra or not?” She snapped. “You’re the one who says it’s so important, is it important or not?” 

“It is, but…” 

“Then I’ll see you later,” she said, a little quieter and calmer now. “Besides… I don’t think I want to hear what you have to say right now, anyway.” 

You just stood there, watching your daughter stalk off toward the school. 

It was hard to focus at the stable that day. You kept looking up, hoping Savvy would come in. You weren’t sure if it would have been better to chase after her or give her space and you tried to remember what you would have wanted from your mother when you fought with her but your relationship with Savvy had never felt like your relationship with your mother. You felt so different from your mother that you sometimes wondered if you’d been traded at the hospital, another girl out there in the world who loved all the things she did living the life you were supposed to have. But Savvy had always felt like another part of yourself, independent but never fully separate. 

“You caused a ruckus this morning,” Julie said when she came by the stable in the afternoon. You sighed and she perched on the wall of a stall before handing you an apple. You took a bite of it and sighed, leaning next to her. 

“Heard about that, huh?” You asked, turning the fruit in your hand. 

“Think the whole town has,” Julie took out an apple of her own. “Sorry.” 

“Shouldn’t be too surprised,” You sighed. 

“Want to talk about it?” She asked. 

“Yes, in great detail,” you said sarcastically. You were thankful for Julie in that moment, though. After Savvy had come to Jackson, Julie had reached out to check in on you and, in spite of the awkward moment in the orchard outside of town, you’d grown to be friends. Which was something that you’d sorely needed as you navigated this unknown landscape of your new relationship with Savvy.

Julie snorted. 

“Yeah, should have known better than to ask that. You OK?” 

“I just wish I knew what to do,” you sighed. “I don’t know what she needs, I don’t know how to make her feel better, I don’t know how to make her understand…” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose for a moment, sighing again. 

“She’s a teenager,” Julie said kindly after you were quiet for a second. “Teenagers are hard. You remember being a teenager…” 

“Not as well as you do,” you teased and she rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, yes, you’re very old,” she teased back before turning serious. “She might just need space. She’ll get past it. They always do.” 

You just nodded as Persephone nudged you with her large head and you surrendered the last of your apple to her. 

“I just don’t want to lose her,” you said, petting the horse’s velvet nose as she chewed. “I lost so much time already, I don’t want to lose any more…” 

“I know,” she said gently. “She will come around. I know she will. And in the mean time, we can drink about it.” 

You laughed. 

“Yeah, think I might need that.” 

Julie hung out at the stable for a bit as you shoed a horse, talking to you about the date she’d gone on the day before with Karen, which had surprised you. 

“Karen? Really? Wouldn’t have thought…” 

“Yup,” Julie smirked a little. “What can I say, I have a good eye.” 

“Are you just turning the women of Jackson?” You teased. “Wasn’t it Beth last month?”

“Maybe I am,” she teased back. “Someone needs to, Beth went out with Henry for like two months. Fucking Henry. It might be the apocalypse but options aren’t really THAT limited…” 

It was a nice distraction, listening to her talk about her love life and the petty property line war happening between two of her neighbors as they went back and forth about whether or not one of their clothes lines pushed into the other’s yard and the new cocktail she was planning to roll out soon at the Tipsy Bison. 

“She really will come around,” she said, dropping all pretense as she got ready to go get changed for her bartending shift. “You two love each other. She’ll understand eventually.” 

You just smiled tightly. 

“Thanks,” you said. “It really does help…” 

“That’s what friends are for,” she said. “And if you come by the Bison tonight, I’ll even let you be one of the first to try the new drink. Take your mind off of family trouble, guaranteed.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” 

You finished up early at the stable and, instead of heading for the mess hall like you normally would, you went home, hoping that Savvy would be there. But it was quiet when you came in and you sighed. 

“Savvy?” You called anyway, hoping she would answer. 

You took off your boots and went upstairs, knocking on her bedroom door all the same. She didn’t answer then, either. 

So you took a shower, trying to not linger on what she said that morning. How she thought you’d abandoned her, forgotten her, thought that there was anything in the world that was as important as her. 

You’d never told her about Mitchum. It didn’t feel right, you didn’t want her to have that in her head. But you weren’t sure how to explain your absence without it. It had never occurred to you that she would think you chose to be apart from her, as though you’d choose anything over being with her. But she did. 

The chill of fall was settling in so you actually dried your hair before getting dressed and seeing if, maybe, Savvy had come home while you were in the shower. You went back to her bedroom door and just happened to look down as you went to knock. There was just a bit of paper poking out from below the door. You frowned and picked it up, pulling it out from below the door. On the paper was a note in Savvy’s haphazard scrawl. 

Need space, it said. Find you eventually.

“No,” you breathed and flung her door open without bothering to knock. 

Her bedroom was neat and organized and everything that she’d brought with her that she considered hers was gone. All her clothes, her backpack, the books that were on her nightstand, the carvings that she’d made. All that was left in the room that hadn’t been there when you moved in were two small carvings you’d made her: two deer, one large and one small. Both were rough, the limbs not quite the right proportions, but you’d been happy to make them, sitting next to her on your porch while you both worked in a way you’d never really done before. 

“Well, I’m still learning,” you’d said, putting the figures in her open palm a few weeks earlier, before this cold distance had started growing between you. “And I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as you, you’re just a natural…” 

“No, they’re really good, Mom,” she’d smiled. “I love them!” 

They were there on her nightstand, the larger one knocked on its side as though the table had been jostled on her way out the door. 

“No,” you shook your head, heart racing. “No, no, no, no, no…” 

You took off, going two stairs at a time. She was gone, she’d left, she’d taken her things and left and you hadn’t even been able to find her the first time and she was gone and this time she chose it and Joel had been the one to find her last time, not you. Joel found her once. He could find her again. 

You ran to Joel’s so fast you didn’t even close the door behind you as you left. The sun was setting and you almost ran into a couple walking home hand in hand as you careened around the corner. You barely even paused at Joel’s door, the fear and warning signs that usually took hold this close to his house buried deep below a fresh horror that your mind couldn’t wrap itself around yet. You ripped the screen door open and went to grab the knob of the main door when it opened before you touched it, Joel standing there in his boots, jacket half on. 

“Bambi…” 

“She’s gone,” you panted for breath. “Joel, she’s gone, she left, she left a note and took her things and I need your help, please, I need your help, I’ll never ask you for another thing, I promise I…” 

“Bambi,” he said again, voice gentle. His big hands gently cupped your shoulders and pulled you inside. “It’s OK, I know, she’s here, she’s OK…” 

“She’s here?” You grabbed his arms fingernails digging into the thick muscle of his biceps as you searched his face. “What do… she’s here?” 

“She’s here,” he said again slowly, carefully. “She’s alright, I was just about to go find you and tell you so you wouldn’t worry. Need you to take a deep breath for me sweetheart, you’re gonna pass out if you’re not careful…” 

You just nodded and let him guide you to the couch, your hands still clutching onto him. Standing on your own felt uncertain, like you were newly shaped and your legs at risk of collapse under the weight of yourself. Ellie came out of the kitchen, her arms crossed over her chest, a worried look on her face. 

“Where is she?” You asked, looking from Joel to Ellie. “If she’s here…” 

“She’s at my place,” Ellie said, shifting awkwardly, putting her hands in her back pockets. “She was really upset, she was there when I got home… I told her I was going to get us something to eat, I should get back…” 

“Is she OK?” You asked, moving to stand but Joel held you in place. “Can I see her? I need to see her…” 

“That’s probably not a good idea right this minute sweetheart,” Joel said. He sounded so calm. 

“I need to see my daughter,” you looked at him, heart racing again. “You can’t… she’s my daughter, I need to see her, you can’t just keep me from her, she…” 

“Not keeping you from her,” Joel cut you off. “But it sounds like she’s hurtin’ right now…” 

“So you need to let me see her!” You yelled and Ellie’s eyes got wide, glancing quickly to the back door. “If she’s hurt I need to take care of her, she’s my child she’s not…” 

“I know,” Joel said. “Physically, she’s fine. She’s upset, her feelings are hurt. Goin’ after her right this second might just make things worse. Think you need to give her some space.” 

“I’ll look out for her,” Ellie said quietly. “I’m sure she’ll get over it quick but… I’ll look out for her. At least for tonight, Bambi. She’s… It’s like how I was with Joel. If you push her too far she might not stay with us and I don’t know if we could stop her if she decided to go, she’s stubborn as hell.” 

“She’s OK,” Joel said, his hands still firmly on your shoulders. “She’s safe, she’s with Ellie. She’s alright.” 

You just nodded and tried to breathe through it. Joel turned Ellie, still holding onto you. You were thankful for that, his hands a grounding force that were holding you inside yourself. It seemed like you might split into disparate beings without him. 

“Why don’t you get on back, baby girl,” he said to Ellie. “Take some of the leftovers from the fridge, keep an eye on her. Don’t let her go anywhere alone, OK?” 

“Yeah,” she said. “I will. I’ll take care of her, Bambi. I really will.” 

You nodded again and closed your eyes, listening as Ellie gathered things from the kitchen, the back door slamming behind her. You took a deep, shaky breath and opened your eyes again, lashes wet. 

“Joel,” you said, voice thick. 

“Gonna hold you,” he said gently. “That OK?” 

You trembled and nodded and he pulled you against his broad chest and you collapsed against him, sobbing so hard you couldn’t breathe. 

“You’re alright,” he said gently, one thick arm looping around your waist, the other going around your shoulder so his hand could cradle your head to him. “She’s OK, you’re both alright…”

You clung to him, your arms snaking up his back, fingers clutching so hard at his shoulder blades that part of you was worried you were hurting him but you couldn’t make yourself stop. It was a struggle to breathe through your tears, gulping in air that smelled like Joel’s skin and cedar and laundry soap. It was like your body forgot to be afraid of him now, so desperate for something to hold on to that it didn’t matter anymore. 

His hand traced a slow, soft pattern from your hair down your spine before starting over again and you felt his lips press into the crown of your head, lingering there as you shook in his arms. 

“Shhh,” he soothed, starting to rock you gently. “S’alright. I’ve got you and her, you’re alright.” 

He said it over and over and you concentrated on the rise and fall of his chest, the smell of his skin, the gentle motion of him. Eventually, you quieted, hiccuping as your tears slowed and your breaths caught up with your body. His rocking slowed, too, but he kept holding onto you, his nose nestled in your hair until your grip on him loosened and he relaxed as you sat back from him. 

“You with me?” He asked gently, one hand still loosely on your arm. He went to take his hand back but you caught it and he froze. 

“I’m sorry but…” You fought to not hyperventilate again. “If… can you…” 

“Do whatever you want with me, sweetheart,” he said and you nodded, moving so you were tucked against his side and your head was on his chest. He sat, stock still, as you guided his arm around your waist and you pressed yourself closer. It felt better with him here like this. He’d brought Savvy home, he’d take care of her, you could trust that. You could trust him.

“What happened?” He asked quietly after you’d settled against him. 

“She found out that we were together,” you said, your voice raw. “And she just… she thinks I forgot about her, that I was just here and happy with you the whole time she was out there alone and…” 

“You didn’t tell her what happened to you?” He asked softly. 

“No,” you shook your head into his chest. 

“Baby…” 

“She’s 15,” you said softly. “She doesn’t know how bad it is out there, she didn’t grow up with shit like girls before, she never had to learn to be afraid of men. I still remember the first time a grown man grabbed my ass when I walked by and I was 13 and I don’t… she doesn’t need to know about all that, Joel. I don’t want her to know about that and I don’t want her to look at me and think about that, she can’t…”

“She should know that you tried,” he said, his hand going in a slow, easy path from your shoulder to your elbow. “She should know that you fought for her.” 

“I don’t want her to know,” you whispered, tears slipping from you again even though it seemed like you shouldn’t have any more left in you. “Please, I can talk to her some other way, please don’t tell her, please…” 

“Won’t tell her,” he said gently. “S’OK Bambi.” 

You remembered the look on her face this morning, the anger and the hurt there and you pressed a strangled sob into Joel’s chest as he held you closer. 

“She hates me,” your voice shook. “And I don’t blame her, I should’ve tried harder, I gave up on her, I let him lie to me and…” 

“You did everything you could,” Joel cut you off. “And you protected her. She was alone out there but she survived because you let her escape and you taught her what she needed to know so she could live. You did everything you could, baby, everything.” 

You nodded, even though you didn’t really believe it, and curled in on yourself, your whole body against him now. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” You asked softly. “I don’t want to be far from her, I can’t…” 

“Course,” Joel said. “I’ll go make up the bed for you, you can stay there, I’ll take the couch…” 

“No,” you shook your head. “No, I want to be down here, if she comes inside…” 

“OK,” he said gently. “Want me to stay with you?” 

“Please,” your fingers tangled in his flannel. 

“OK,” he said again. He just held you for a while before getting some blankets and a pillow out of a cupboard you didn’t remember holding them before and you realized it had been almost half a year since you’d been in Joel’s house. Things about it had changed. So much time had passed but really, none at all. Joel got you water and made you drink two tall glasses of it and eat an apple before he stretched out on the couch and you folded yourself in around him. It had been months but your body still remembered how to wrap around his to sleep, where your head fit best against his chest, how your leg best hitched over his, how his arm draped over you. 

“I can’t lose her, Joel,” you whispered into the dark. “I can’t, not again. I have to fix this.” 

“It’ll be OK,” he said, his fingers trailing over your bicep. “She’ll understand. Don’t give up, it’ll be OK.” 

The next morning, Ellie came to the kitchen with the excuse of needing tea and found you and Joel still asleep on the couch. She assured you that Savvy was still there and had asked to stay for a while. Ellie had already said yes.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, head still fuzzy from sleep and the emotional turmoil the night before. 

“I’ll go talk to her,” Joel said as Ellie headed out. You opened your mouth to fight him on it but he held up a palm, silencing you. “Just to lay down some ground rules. Not gonna tell her she needs to go back to yours or tell her anything about what happened to you. Just gotta set some expectations, that’s all. OK?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Yeah, OK…” 

He got you more water and draped the blanket around your hunched shoulders before he went back to Ellie’s. It felt like he was gone an eternity before he came back, settling in beside you on the couch again. His hand found the middle of your back, moving over you in slow, soothing circles. 

“She’s still pretty pissed,” he said softly. You nodded. “Told her she can stay as long as she wants but no boys spending the night, needs to go to school every day and show me her progress, she’s gotta eat three meals a day and be in for the night by 9 every night.” 

You nodded, your fingers knotting and twisting together. 

“OK,” you said. “That’s… that’s good, she’ll go for that, I think.” 

“Seemed receptive,” he said. “She’s a good kid, raised her right. She’ll come around. It’ll be OK.” 

You nodded and pressed your face into his shoulder, letting his soft flannel soak up your tears yet again. 

It was the start of a new kind of friendship with Joel. You came by every day now after you were done at the stable, Joel giving you a report on Savvy, both what she told you and how she seemed. He said he was trying to gently nudge her into talking to you again but she got worked up when you were mentioned. 

“Don’t push her,” you said after you’d been in this strange limbo with your daughter for two weeks. You’d hardly slept or eaten and you could feel yourself starting to almost seep out of your body, little pieces floating away into the ether the longer you were separated from her when she was so close. You wondered how Joel had survived it as long as he did with Ellie. “I don’t want to hurt her any more than I have…” 

“Should think about telling her, Baby,” Joel said softly. 

“I know you think so,” you said, arms crossed tight over your chest. “But… I can get her back without that, she doesn’t… she doesn’t need all that in her head, Joel, she doesn’t.” 

He nodded slowly and sighed as you headed back to your cold, almost empty house. 

When it had become clear that Savvy wasn’t going to come home in just a day or two, you’d gone to where the working dogs of Jackson lived and asked to bring Gattling home with you. You’d been so excited to see her once you could actually wrap your head around the fact that she’d come back with Savvy, too, but she’d always been a working dog. She was used to having something to do all day everyday and you knew she’d be happier helping on guard duty or protect the livestock with regular visits from you and Savvy. Now, though, you picked her up on your way home so you wouldn’t be alone. 

That was an adjustment, too. Gattling was cagey around you when she first came to Jackson, skeptical of you even though she clearly remembered you. But she’d warmed up to you again now and greeted you with a wagging tail every night. She followed you obediently around your house and curled up next to you in bed, sighing her heavy dog sighs as she settled in to sleep and you thought that this was what life had been for your daughter for the past four years. Having no one but her horse and her dog because you’d left her to fend for herself in the wilderness. 

It took until November for you to feel at all adjusted to this new way of things with Savvy. You saw her in the mess hall, scheduling your day so that you had the best chance at seeing her in the morning or the evening, just to catch a glimpse of her and see that she was whole and happy. You tried to catch her eye and hoped she’d do something besides glare at you eventually, that you’d be able to actually talk to her at some point. It hadn’t happened yet. 

But you couldn’t let yourself completely break down into nothing.You knew that. So you started trying to eat something and tried to do beyond the bare minimum in your day. Julie came by in the afternoon and you took a walk. You talked to Joel about something outside of Savvy. You even played your guitar - though you made the mistake of playing Sweet Child of Mine and dissolved into tears, Gattling licking your face and whimpering as you lay curled on the cool wood of your living room floor. 

You’d found a semblance of a life again, taking comfort in knowing that Savvy was alive and healthy, even if you didn’t get to hear her voice or see her smile. You were focusing on that in the afternoon when you heard Ellie coming toward the stables, her voice oddly chipper and friendly, odd enough that you frowned and watched the doors as she came in, hoof pick in your hand as you worked on shoeing a horse. 

“Stables are here,” Ellie said, leading a man who had to be close to Joel’s height inside. “You’re starting up patrol and if you end up in the regular rotation, you’ll probably be here a lot and you’ll get assigned a regular horse to take out. I usually go on Shimmer… Oh, that’s Bambi, she runs the place.” 

The man turned so that you could see his face and you froze, grip on the pick tightening. 

You were surprised you hadn’t recognized him from behind. You always thought you’d know him immediately, sense when he was even remotely close to you. But he’d made it here, to the heart of Jackson, into your stables, and you hadn’t known. You’d heard that someone had come in with a patrol the week before but you hadn’t heard a name or seen anyone new in town since then. You weren’t worried about it, you had enough else on your mind without concerning yourself with a new arrival. 

But you should have been. You should have been very worried. 

“Bambi,” Ellie smiled brightly, leading the newcomer toward you. You lowered Ares’ hoof slowly to the ground and shifted the hoof pick to your left hand, holding it so tight you were sure your knuckles were white. “This is Cody, he’s going to start out on patrol soon, he’s going out with Joel soon…” 

He stood there, looking at you, his jaw tight for a moment. After what felt like a small eternity, he held out his hand. 

“Bambi, is it?” He asked. “Nice to meet you.” 

You didn’t take his hand. The thought of touching him turned your stomach. 

“Ellie,” you said, not taking your eyes off him. “Shimmer is out in the paddock, do me a favor and take her around once, make sure she’s walking OK after I shoed her and bring her in.” 

“What?” Ellie laughed a little. “I’m kind of in the middle of…” 

“It can wait,” you snapped, still watching him. “I can introduce him to a horse, do what I’m telling you to do.” 

“Alright, Jesus,” she muttered, stomping off to obey. Cody watched her go before turning to you. 

“Good to see you,” he smiled a little. “Wasn’t sure if you’d actually made it…” 

He moved to close the gap between you and you stepped back on instinct, your heart beating so fast it drowned out the sound of his voice. You could remember exactly how he felt inside of you, how his breath felt on your skin, the self righteous look on his face because he thought he was better than the others because he didn’t get off on hurting you. Your head spun.

“Stay the fuck back,” you hissed, adjusting your grip on the hoof pick. 

He frowned. “Why? Come on, you know I’m not dangerous…” 

“Like fuck I know that,” you snapped. “You’re just as dangerous as the rest of them. What, are you here to do recon?” 

“No,” he snapped. “I left.” 

“Good for you,” you said. “Stay the fuck away from me.” 

“Don’t think that’s the way you want to talk to the guy who saved your life,” he said, eyes narrowing. “Feel like you owe me a little more than that…” 

“Don’t owe you a goddamn thing,” you said. “Didn’t kill you that night. Far as I’m concerned? Life for a life, we’re even.” 

That was a lie but he didn’t need to know that. You wished you could bring yourself to kill him but you didn’t think you could. He had saved your life, had been kinder to you than most of Mitchum’s men even if he had hurt you. You weren’t sure if he deserved to die, you didn’t think you could handle killing him.

“Hardly counts as even,” he said, taking a step toward you. “You know I wasn’t like them, you know I was different…” 

Another step and something inside you snapped. It didn’t matter that you were in Jackson, that he had saved your life by getting you away from Mitchum, Cody was a threat. You knew what he was capable of and he was here with you and your daughters. 

You met him in the middle, catching him off guard. He moved to touch you in some way - hug you, grab you, you weren’t sure - and you threw your left arm over his throat, your right into his chest, shoving him back against a stall, putting one knee between his legs so you could hit him in the groin if he tried to move and pressed the tip of the dirty hoof pick to his throat. 

“What the fuck!” He yelped, his chest heaving. 

“Gonna give you this one warning,” you said through clenched teeth. “You stay away from me, you stay away from my girls. I catch you even glancing their way, let alone talking to or touching one of ‘em? I will rip your goddamn throat out, do you understand me?” 

“How am I supposed to know who your girls…” 

“Any girl here,” you seethed. Your stomach turned at your body being so close to his but you forced yourself to stay on him, keep the pick pressed to his throat. “But Ellie and the girl she lives with? They’re mine and if you think the fact that I owe you my life would save you if you touched them, you got another thing comin’.” 

You heard the scrape of the door and you stepped back from him, chest heaving, lowering the pick. He stayed back against the stall, his eyes wide and darting from you to the door.

“She’s walking fine,” Ellie said, leading Shimmer in from the paddock. “Don’t know why you were worried, anyone knows how to shoe a damn horse around here, it’s you.” 

She put Shimmer in her stall and went toward Cody but you stepped in front of her, putting your arm out to keep her behind you. Cody’s eyes narrowed. 

“What…” Ellie began but you cut her off. 

“You supposed to show him anything else?” You asked, not looking back at her and keeping your eyes on Cody.

“Just here,” she said. “How the stables work, shit like that. But…” 

“I think he’s fine from here,” you cut her off again. “Why don’t you go to the school, walk Savvy home.” 

“Bambi?” 

“Go, Ellie,” you snapped. 

“Fine, Jesus,” she muttered just as Joel came in and she ducked around him. Your eyes darted his way but you looked back at Cody almost immediately, not willing to let him out of your sight. You saw Ellie go out of the corner of your eye, keeping Cody pinned to where he was with your gaze. Your grip was still tight on the pick. 

You could feel Joel’s eyes on you as he moved slowly to stand at your back. You could feel him there, close behind you at your shoulder, the heat and strength of him there. 

“Everything alright here?” He asked, his voice deep, empty of the warmth you’d come to associate with him. 

“Fine,” Cody said, his eyes darting up to Joel before going back to you. 

“He was just leaving,” you said. “Weren’t you.” 

He just looked at you for a long moment. 

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “I was.” 

“Better get moving then,” Joel said, dark and dangerous, like every word was a threat. 

Cody kept his eyes on Joel then, slowly moving around you, staying out of arm’s reach until he had a clear path to the door. Only then did he turn his back to you, putting his hands in his pockets and closing the door behind him. 

The second he was gone, the pick slipped from your fingers and hit the concrete of the stable floor with a clatter. You couldn’t breathe. It took you a moment to realize you were shaking, your heart racing. You clutched at your chest and stumbled to the stall you’d thrown Cody into, collapsing against it as you struggled to get enough air. 

Here. Cody was here, in Jackson. He knew you, he knew where you were, he’d been with Ellie, he was where Savvy was…

“Bambi,” Joel’s hands were on you, one at your ribs and the other taking yours, his thick, long fingers closing around your own completely. “Gotta breathe for me, baby, gotta breathe through it…” 

You just nodded and tried to listen but it wasn’t working. 

“Here,” he said, guiding your hand to his chest and holding it there. “Match me, OK? Gonna push everything out first…” you exhaled with him, nodding as you did. “Now in.” 

He breathed in slow and deep and you tried to keep pace with him, focusing on how he felt next to you, his heartbeat below your hand, the warmth of his body. 

“Talk to me,” he said once your breaths had slowed and your shaking had eased. He stopped holding your hand to his chest but you left it there, holding onto him. “What’s wrong, what did he do? He touch you?” 

“No,” you shook your head, taking a deep, shaky breath. “No, he didn’t touch me. It’s fine, it’s OK…” 

“He did something,” Joel said and you looked up at him, into those soft, brown eyes that had been home for so long and you missed him. You missed him so much you thought your chest might crack open with it, the ache in your heart too big to be contained by your skin and ribs. You missed how safe you felt with him, how much he felt like home. You moved slowly, cautiously, until your arms were looped around his waist. He hesitated and then he was enveloping you, clutching you close and tight and you could hear his heart racing in his chest. You felt his lips and nose brush the top of your head before he tucked you below his chin, his large hand cradling your skull as though you were some precious, treasured thing. 

“Talk to me,” he said again, quietly, holding you closer. “What’d he do? You can tell me, I’ll handle it…” 

“Nothing that you can handle,” you said, your voice thick. 

“Watch me.” 

“Joel,” you nuzzled closer to him and breathed deep. 

“Tell me,” he said. “Let me help you, take care of you. Please.” 

You just held onto him, focusing on him as he swayed just a little with you, almost like you would rock a restless child. 

“He one of them?” He asked eventually, deathly quiet. 

You pulled back from him ever so slightly, looking up into his eyes and you watched the warmth slip away from them as he answered the question for himself. 

“I’ll kill him.” 

“No,” you shook your head, holding him tighter. “No, you can’t…” 

“Why,” he was straining to stay calm, you could feel it in his body. “Don’t matter that he’s here, I’ll kill him in the street like the goddamn animal he is…” 

“He saved my life,” you said. “He… he hurt me but I wouldn’t be here without him, he got me out, I owe him my life, I can’t… he can’t die because of me. I told him he needs to stay away from Ellie, from Savvy…” 

“Baby,” he breathed holding your face in his hand and you closed your eyes, trying to stay focused on him and not lose yourself to the panic that was still at the edges. 

“I’ve handled it, Joel,” you said after a moment, opening your eyes. He was still watching you intently. “If he tries something with them I’ll kill him myself but you can’t kill him, Joel. Not now. He can’t die because of me, not after he saved my life. I can’t live with that. Please.” 

He sighed and pulled your head into his chest, his cheek pressing into you. 

“Won’t kill him,” Joel said. “But I should. And I swear to God he even glances at you or the girls I will rip him apart. I’m sorry, baby, but I will.” 

You just nodded into his chest and he held you close and you wished you had one of his shirts again so you could wrap yourself in the scent of him and keep his warmth and safety close when he left. 

Ares’ large head nudged your shoulder and he huffed and you laughed, separating from Joel enough to see him there, one hoof off balance from the others. 

“Right,” you laughed and sniffed a little. “I was shoeing you before we were interrupted, wasn’t I?” 

His head bobbed once in what you’d call a nod if you didn’t know better and you dried your cheeks with the back of your sleeve, separating from Joel and picking the hoof pick up from where you’d dropped it in your panic. 

“Thank you,” you said to him quietly. 

“Course.” 

“Not just for this,” you said. “For everything the last few weeks. With Savvy. I don’t… I don’t know if I could have gotten through it on my own and…” 

“Always gonna look out for you,” Joel said. “Doesn’t matter if we’re not… Always going to take care of you how I can.” 

You nodded and he cleared his throat awkwardly, looking to the side at nothing. 

“Should probably get back,” he said. “I was just passin’ by, thought I’d… I dunno, say hi. Or… somethin’. Didn’t have any business here… Anyway. I’ll see you tonight, give you the Savvy update after I check in with her.” 

You nodded again and he gave you a sad, tight smile before leaving you to your work. 

***

It took everything Joel had inside himself to not go find Cody and kill him. 

He’d seen the man a few times as he was introduced around town and he’d seemed decent enough. Tommy had been encouraged by his shooting test results, happy to have another skilled man out on patrol. 

Fuck, how was he supposed to let this man come back from patrol alive? 

He’d hurt you. He terrified you, that much was clear. Joel wasn’t sure he wanted the details of what Cody had done to you but, whatever they were, Joel wanted to do at least ten times that to him. He wanted to do more than kill him. He wanted to feel the life leave his body and know that he’d made it happen. He wanted to hear him hurt, he wanted to make him beg. He wanted him to be helpless and at his mercy and he wanted him to know why. That his actions had brought his pain, that he was only receiving what he was due. 

But he couldn’t hurt you. 

It seemed like you were finally, maybe, starting to trust him again. You’d slept on him the night Savvy came to Ellie’s, you’d wanted him to hold you today. It was like you were finding comfort instead of fear with him now. He couldn’t hurt you, especially not now. 

Joel showered when he got home, changing out of his shirt and putting on a clean one. If you did think he was safe, if the way you calmed when your face was against his chest was any indication, he might be able to help you this way, too. 

The girls were home before he was and he went to Ellie’s, the music inside loud enough that he could hear it through the door. He knocked once and he heard a high pitched giggle before Ellie called for him to come in. 

Savvy was laying broadside on Ellie’s bed, her head dangling over the side of it, her curls brushing the ground, a comic book laying across her chest. Ellie stretched to turn down her boombox, a notebook open on her lap. 

“Hi Joel,” she said in her lightly teasing tone. “Here to do the daily old man check in?” 

“What can I say,” he replied. “I’m a creature of habit.” 

“Well, I helped out at the mess hall this morning,” Ellie said. “Getting ready to go out on patrol with Dina in a few days…” 

“First overnight patrol without me,” Joel nodded. “Still feelin’ OK?” 

“It’s getting cold, probably won’t even see any infected,” she said. “And haven’t seen shit for other trouble lately. Think we can handle some scary deer and shit.” 

“Don’t get cocky,” Joel cautioned, though he smiled a little all the same. “But I think you’ll do just fine.” He turned to Savvy. “And how about you?” 

She sighed and he was reminded for the millionth time since Savvy had moved in with Ellie of Sarah. It hurt less now, looking at her. He was sure it was sharper because she was only a year older than Sarah had been when he lost her, her hallmarks of teenage independence the same as any other teenager’s, including his daughter’s. 

“Still hate math,” she said. “It’s boring. Why do I need to know how to calculate stuff like that? Maybe it was important before but it’s useless now.” 

“Need people who can do math to help build and maintain things around here,” Joel said. “Afraid that means you have to study it.” 

“Ms. Parker says I’m catching up,” she said. “I borrowed a new book, Catcher in the Rye…” 

“She talked to a boy,” Ellie drew out the last word, smirking. 

“Ellie!” Savvy shot up, twisting herself around on the bed so she was facing Joel and Ellie. She grabbed the pillow at the head of the bed and threw it at Ellie, who caught it and laughed. “Shut up!” 

“Boy, huh?” Joel asked, treading lightly. His hand clenched into a fist at his side anyway. “Boy from school?” 

Savvy sighed and nodded and Joel’s fist relaxed. A boy from school, not a new man in town.

“His name is Kyle,” Ellie teased. 

“Ellie!” Savvy hissed, eyes wide. “Shut up!” 

“Long as he’s a nice boy,” Joel said, trying to picture a kid in town named Kyle. “Respectful. All that.” 

“He’s fine,” Ellie said, serious now. “Kind of a dork but fine.” 

“Shut up,” Savvy said again, more pouty this time. “I think he’s cute.” 

“Well you and your bad taste can have him,” Ellie shrugged. 

“Thank you,” Savvy said, smug, relaxing a bit onto the bed and picking up the comic book that had fallen to the side. “But that’s all. Not much to report.” 

Joel nodded slowly. 

“Good. Just… One more thing. Need you girls to do me a favor.” 

Savvy just nodded but Ellie frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. Joel took a deep breath. 

“Need you girls to stay away from that new man in town,” he said. “His name’s Cody. He tries to talk to you, come tell me or your mom…” 

“Why?” Ellie’s frown deepened. “What happened?” 

“Just tryin’ to be safe,” Joel said. “Don’t know him yet, you’re both young. Want to make sure you’re protected is all.” 

Savvy just shrugged and nodded, already getting distracted by the comic book. Ellie was still frowning. 

“Ellie.” 

“Sure,” she said eventually. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“Good,” he nodded. “You girls behave. Let me know if you go out, OK?” 

“OK,” Savvy said, flopping back down on the bed and holding the comic book over her head. 

Joel turned to leave and the volume on the boombox went back up but Ellie caught his arm as soon when he wasn’t even half way back to the house. He frowned, looking down to her. 

“What’s up baby girl?” 

“What’s wrong with Cody,” she said more than asked. 

“Ellie…” 

“It’s something,” she said. “I’m not a fucking idiot, Joel. Bambi practically kicked me out of the stable today, you’re telling me to stay away from him… what’s the deal.” 

He sighed and tightened his jaw. 

“Bambi’s come across him before,” he said eventually. “Doesn’t trust him. Best for you girls to stay away for now.” 

She watched him for a moment, skeptical. 

“You gonna let him live?” Ellie asked eventually. 

Joel could have hugged her, his daughter so like him in this way, for better or for worse.

“For now,” he said. “She doesn’t want him dead so, for now, he keeps breathin’. On thin ice, though.” 

Ellie nodded. 

“I’ll look out for Savvy,” she said, turning to go back inside before turning back to Joel. “I think you should kill him. And if I see him try to fuck with either of them? I’ll do it myself.” 

She didn’t give him a chance to respond, just going back in, Joel hearing a laugh from from just beyond the door before he headed home himself. 

You came by a few hours later, seeming much more like yourself when you did. He gave you the rundown and you seemed happy about Savvy talking to a boy, something that made Joel raise his eyebrows. 

“No, Ellie’s right, I’ve seen him around, he’s kind of a dork,” you smiled a little. “Harmless kid. But… I want that for her, you know? Want her to have someone she can have a crush on and feel giddy about…” You looked, longingly, out the window to the backyard. 

“She’ll talk to you about it,” Joel said. “Once she figures herself out. She’ll tell you.” 

You nodded and smiled tightly at him and went to leave when he stopped you. 

“I… uh…” he awkwardly cupped the back of his neck, not entirely sure what to do with his hands. “Earlier, at the stable… I know, back before, you liked the coat and things because of the smell and… anyway.” He picked up the shirt he’d changed out of just before you came over, the one he’d put on clean that afternoon, and handed it to you. “Thought… seemed like it might be helpful again. Wanted to help, if it was.” 

You took the folded shirt and watched him as you lifted it, slowly, to your nose before you closed your eyes and breathed deep before you clutched it to your chest, crossing your arms tightly over it. 

“You gonna be OK over there?” He asked. “Can always stay here if you’re worried…” 

“I can’t let him drive me out of my house,” you shook your head. “Besides. Got Gattling. She’ll rip his throat out and save me the trouble.” 

“If you change your mind,” he said. “Can always come over here.” 

You nodded and held the shirt a little tighter. 

“Thanks, Joel,” you said. “I appreciate it.” 

He hardly slept that night, staring up at the ceiling, remembering the fear on your face the second Cody was gone. How you’d trembled and cried, how you were reduced to that much fear by his presence. 

It didn’t matter what Cody had done for you, Joel was going to take care of it. Saving your life didn’t forgive his sins. He couldn’t have a man like that here with you, with Ellie and Savvy. He was going to take care of it. 

Joel beat you to the stables that morning and you frowned when you walked up, hands in the pockets of your jacket. He could just see a hint of the plaid flannel of the shirt he’d given you the night before peeking out over the collar. 

“You’re usually not this much of an early riser,” you said, letting the two of you into the stable. “Patrol doesn’t leave for another hour…” 

“Figured I’d get the horses,” he said. 

“Joel.” 

“Not lettin’ him near you,” he said. “Not if I can do something about it.” 

You just nodded and started getting Ares and Cassiopeia ready. Joel took over Ares, giving the horse a good scratch behind the ears as he worked. 

“You should take Ares,” you said, adjusting the saddle on the mare. “He’s harder to control, I have no idea about… about his abilities. Can’t risk a horse getting hurt because a rider isn’t up to snuff and on an animal that’s too powerful for him.” 

“I’ll make sure I bring your horses back alright, Bambi,” he said gently, watching as you busied yourself, checking buckles more times than you normally would. 

When you handed him the reins, your fingers lingered on his palm. 

“You can’t kill him,” you said quietly, all but begging him with your eyes. “Please. I can’t have that on my conscious…” 

“Not gonna kill him,” Joel said, reaching out slowly, cautiously, to cup your cheek. You closed your eyes and pressed against his palm and he had to resist the urge to kiss you. “I’ll bring him back in one piece. Promise.” 

You nodded against him and he led the horses outside and waited for Cody to arrive. 

Joel had to fight to be civil to the man. He introduced himself, apologized for the awkwardness the day before as the two of them made their way outside the walls of town. 

“Really not sure what got into her,” he laughed after he and Joel had been riding for a few hours and were taking a break, getting ready to turn around and head back. “Know her well? Bambi, think they said her name was?” 

Joel shrugged. 

“Really not trying to get on people’s bad side this early,” he said and Joel could see how he’d lasted as long as he had in town. He was easy going, charming. It was hard to picture him running with raiders. “Never found a place quite like Jackson, don’t want to spoil it too soon.” 

“Don’t get comfortable,” Joel said, resting a hand on the pistol at his side. “You won’t be stayin’ long.” 

The man frowned. 

“What…” 

“Know who you are,” Joel said, straining to keep his voice calm as he stepped closer. He only had about two inches on Cody and he was at least a decade older but that didn’t matter. If it came down to a fight, Joel knew who would win. “Know what you did. You ain’t stayin’ in Jackson.” 

Cody’s confused face turned angry and entitled and Joel could see him as a raider now. The switch flipped quickly from charismatic man who could talk his way into places into one who wasn’t bothered by hurting and killing to get what he wanted. 

“I don’t know what she told you but…” 

“Didn’t need her to tell me,” he said. “Knew from how she was looking at you. You’re one of ‘em and you hurt her.” 

“No,” he snapped. “No, I never fucking hurt her, I was always careful, never was like what they were…” 

“You really think that matters?” Joel asked, his voice flat. He tried not to think about what he used to be, the things he used to let happen. “Think it makes a damn difference to me?” 

Cody lunged for him, trying to punch Joel in the face but he dodged him easily. Joel shoved the other man to the ground before catching his shoulder with his boot, forcing him onto his back. Joel dropped to one knee, putting it in the middle of Cody’s chest and yanking his gun from the holster, tossing it over by the horses before looking down at him, his head cocked to the side as the man’s hand scrambled over Joel’s leg, clawing for some weakness he wouldn’t find. 

“Can’t just kill me,” he panted up at him eventually. “They’ll know…” 

“They wouldn’t,” Joel shook his head. “Just say we ran into infected, you got bit, had to shoot you. Unfortunate loss but the merciful way to go. Hell, they’d even console me for havin’ to do it. No, killing you’d be easy. But I’m not gonna do that.” 

“Bullshit,” he hissed. “Just do it, get it over with.” 

“Nah,” Joel shook his head, clenching his jaw for a moment. He had to remind himself that he couldn’t kill Cody. It didn’t matter how good it’d feel to pull pain from his body, to watch him scream and beg, he’d promised you. “If I was going to kill you, it’d be slow. Painful. Only get to kill you for what you did once, better be damn sure I’m gonna enjoy it. I’d enjoy it plenty with you.” 

“You’re a monster,” he managed through gritted teeth. 

Joel shrugged. 

“Maybe. But I’m her monster. And she asked me not to kill you. Said you got her out so she owes you her life. This is her repaying that, understand? If it were up to me, you’d be dead today. But that’s not what she wants. 

“So here’s whats going to happen,” he continued. “We’re gonna ride back to Jackson like nothing happened at all. You’re gonna stay in town for two days and you’re gonna talk to people. You’re gonna be restless, you’re gonna say you miss being outside. Two days after we get back, you leave with what you came with, no more. You’ll go far away from here and you won’t tell a single goddamn soul about our town or about her. I catch you so much as looking at her or our daughters? I’ll kill you in the middle of town, I don’t give a shit. When you go, you’ll stay gone. Ever come back? I’ll kill you. I find out you told anyone about where she is? There ain’t a corner of this planet you’ll be able to hide from me. I will hunt you down like a fuckin’ dog and you’ll wish I killed you now, just the way I want to. I bein’ clear?” 

Cody just glared at him and Joel sighed before grabbing a fistful of the man’s hair, forcing him to look him in the eye. 

“I asked you a question,” Joel said, leaning in close. “Did I make myself clear?” 

“Yes,” he hissed through clenched teeth. 

“Repeat it.” 

“I leave in two days,” he said. “And don’t breathe a word.” 

Joel released his hair. 

“Good,” he said. “Don’t want to hear another goddamn sound from you the rest of the day unless it’s warnin’ me about infected because I’m taking your fuckin’ guns. And you best keep her name out of your goddamn mouth the next two days or I’ll make you regret it. Understood?” 

He nodded once and Joel lifted his knee from his chest before hefting him to his feet. 

“On your fuckin’ horse,” he said. “Move.” 

The rest of patrol was, at least, easy. Joel spent most of it keeping an eye on Cody but did notice signs of a large group of infected moving through somewhat recently, most likely migrating south for the winter. He made a note of it but he doubted it’d be worth following up on this late in the season. 

When the two of them got back to town, Cody still looked off balance. Angry, entitled, like he was thinking of picking a fight he wouldn’t win. Joel just took his horse outside the stables. 

“Remember what we talked about,” Joel said. “Two days from now and you’re gone or I’ll make you go.” 

“Got it,” he seethed, looking murderous. Joel didn’t care. 

“Good. Get the fuck out of here.” 

You were waiting inside the stables, perched on the side of Perseus’ stall, stroking his neck. You stiffened when Joel came in but relaxed when you realized he was alone. You were wearing his shirt. 

“Where’s Cody?” You frowned, coming and taking Cassiopeia’s reins. “Joel, you promised…” 

“He’s fine,” Joel cut you off. “Sent him home. Told you I’d let him live so he’s alive. No intent of changin’ that.” 

You nodded slowly, starting to take the horse’s tack off. 

“Thank you,” you said quietly. “I’m sure that wasn’t easy…” 

“It’s your decision,” he replied. “Don’t matter what I want.” 

You nodded again and the two of you slowly, methodically stripped down the horses side by side. 

Joel saw you catch a glimpse of Cody in the mess hall the next day, he saw the shiver pass through you as you spotted him and all but ran for the doors instead of staying for breakfast. He had to fight the urge to kill him then, knowing how he still hurt you. But he resisted. It should be up to you, he wasn’t about to take that from you. 

It was a relief when word spread two days later that Cody had left in the night. He’d even given the guards at the gate a note to pass to the council, saying exactly what Joel had told him to say. That he missed being outside and didn’t feel like Jackson was a good fit, that he’d be no trouble and doubted he’d come back. 

“Weird that he’d just leave like that,” Maria said as she, Joel and Tommy sat around her and Tommy’s kitchen table, making sure they had all the coverage they needed for the patrol leaving the next morning. It was going to be a big one, a few groups going out overnight, including Ellie with her friend Dina. “Rough on us, too. He was a solid patrol prospect…” 

“Can’t force a man to stay who don’t want to stay,” Tommy shrugged, bouncing William on his knee, trying to settle him. “His spot is open now though… think Bambi would be OK to fill in? Olivia can cover the stable for a few days and that’s one of the easier routes, s’why we were sending the new guy out on it. And it’s with Julie, her and Bambi are friends, right?” 

“Doubt she’d mind,” Joel shrugged. William reached and groped for him so he held out a finger and smiled as the toddler wrapped his chubby hands around it. “Been a bit since she was on a patrol.” 

“Perfect,” Maria said, noting it in a journal and on a map. “You two go to the lookout to take over for Jesse and Eugene, Ellie and Dina can cover this territory, Bambi and Julie here. One last go round for the big stuff before the snow flies.” 

“Assuming we make it back before snow flies,” Tommy said. Maria scoffed. “Bein’ serious, it’s on the way, can feel it.” 

“Just because your joints are getting old…” she said and Tommy laughed. 

“Don’t start on his age,” Joel said, getting up and stretching. “Don’t even want to think about what that means for mine.”

“You goin’ to the dance later?” Tommy asked. “You and Bambi been looking a bit closer lately…” 

“Don’t start on that either,” Joel said. “And figured I’d stay home. Worried I’d cramp Ellie’s style if I went, kid seems pretty damn excited.” 

“We can keep an eye on her,” Maria said. “Savvy, too, especially since she’s coming here tomorrow while you and Ellie are patrolling.” 

“Appreciate that,” Joel nodded. “See you in the morning?” 

“Be there bright and early,” Tommy replied. 

Joel took the long way home, pausing outside your house for a moment, checking the status of your woodpile. It would be OK for a bit but he made a plan to come chop more for you, make sure you had a good stockpile before the cold really set in. 

Ellie and Savvy had left for the dance before he got home and he took advantage of the quiet. It was chilly but not freezing so he settled on the porch with his guitar, not playing anything in particular. Instead, he was thinking of you. 

He wasn’t sure where to go from here. Things felt better than they had in months. You leaned into his touch. You were wearing his shirt. He wanted to let you have control. You deserved that much, at least. He didn’t want to push things or rush you. He didn’t want to push you away but, more importantly, he didn’t want to hurt you. But he missed you. He wanted you back so bad it hurt. He had this underlying fear that he’d never move past this point, this constant longing, no matter what he did. He just didn’t know how to fix it. 

Joel lost track of time out there, Ellie and Savvy coming back eventually, Savvy giggling and Ellie’s eyes wide. 

“Everything OK kiddo?” Joel frowned as she cut around the house. “Have a good time?” 

“Oh she had a great time,” Savvy giggled and Ellie elbowed her, only making her laugh harder. 

“It was great,” Ellie said. 

“Yeah it was,” Savvy said in a tone that made Joel think of you. 

“Shut up,” Ellie hissed and Savvy giggled again. “We’re going to bed, some of us have to get up early.” 

“Bet you wouldn’t say that if I were…” Savvy said but Ellie cut her off. 

“OK, goodnight Joel!” She said, shoving Savvy playfully toward the back. “See you tomorrow…” 

Joel tried not to laugh as he watched the girls dissolve into giggles as they went inside and he shook his head a little before going in himself to make a cup of coffee, something he figured he’d regret when he couldn’t sleep but it sounded too good. But he made the most of it, putting it in his favorite mug, one that Ellie liked to tease him about because of the owl but that just made him like it more. 

He wondered if Tommy was right about the snow. He leaned on the railing of the porch, looking up into the dark. The skies were clear and he could see the constellations that you and Ellie both loved so much. He’d been looking for a good telescope for Ellie for years now and nights like tonight made him wish he’d found one by now. 

“Hey.” 

Joel jumped enough that he was surprised he didn’t burn his hand from the coffee. 

You were there, at the base of the stairs, looking up at him with eyes wide and bright. His heart skipped a beat. 

“Hey,” he cleared his throat. You were wearing his shirt. You didn’t have on a coat. 

“It OK if I come up?” You nodded to the porch. 

“Course,” he said. “Always welcome.” 

You jogged up the steps, the same one as always squeaking under your feet, and Joel smiled a bit at that. The little sound he’d come to love because it announced your arrival. 

“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” He asked. “It’s not bad, all things considered.” 

“No,” you said. “Not in the mood, it’d be wasted on me.” 

“You go to the dance?” Joel asked after a moment, your body close to his as you leaned against the railing beside him. 

You laughed once. 

“No,” you said. “Didn’t see much point. Besides, Tommy asked me earlier if I could fill in on patrol because we were down a person so I thought I’d try to rest since that means it’s an early start.” 

Joel nodded slowly. 

“Didn’t go either,” he said after a moment of quiet. “Girls got back not long ago, though, gigglin’ up a storm. Think they had fun.” 

“That’s good,” you said, nodding, too. “I wonder what Savvy thought of a dance… I hated them when I was her age but that’s because my mother made me go. She might love them. It’s hard to know.” 

“They’re not for everyone,” Joel said. “But can be fun. I’m sure I’ll get all the details soon, I’ll pass ‘em on when I do.” 

“Thanks,” you said, glancing at him for a moment before looking up at the stars again. You were quiet for a moment before you sighed. “Joel…” 

He looked at you, your fingers gripping the railing so tight your knuckles were pale. 

“Joel, did you kill Cody?” You asked, turning to look at him, still holding the railing tight. 

“No,” he shook his head. “No, you asked me not to so I didn’t.” 

“So, what, he just disappears two days after you go on patrol together?” You asked, brows raised. “Do you expect me to believe that?”

“No,” Joel shrugged. “But I didn’t kill him. Didn’t hurt him, either. Told him he had to get the fuck out, that he couldn’t come back and couldn’t tell anyone where you were or I would kill him. But he’s alive. Unless he got himself fuckin’ killed since he left but since he made it this far, seems doubtful.” 

“Joel…” 

“Couldn’t have him here,” Joel said, taking a sip of coffee. “Not with you. Not with our girls. He’s too dangerous. You wanted him to live so he’s alive but he couldn’t stay here, so I handled it.” 

You straightened up, looking him in the eye before you stepped closer to him. He waited for you to say something. Say something. Blame him, rail against him, something. But you didn’t.

“What are you doin’ here, Bambi?” He asked softly. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” you whispered, so close he could feel the heat of your breath on him. 

“Why’s that?” He asked. You reached up slowly, cautiously, and put your arms around his neck. He set his mug on the post of the railing and his hands curled gently around your biceps. You stepped closer still, your body against his now. 

“I was thinking about you.” 

Your eyes drifted to his lips before going back up to his eyes. 

“Can I…” 

“You can do whatever you want with me,” he breathed and you nodded before you kissed him softly, slowly. Your lips were gentle and easy on his, so much like he remembered them being. Your whole body slotted perfectly against his, the curves and arches of you melding into him as he wrapped his arms around you to cradle you against him and you deepened the kiss, moaning into his mouth. He damn near whimpered when you pulled back from him, your body still pressed against him. 

“Would it be alright if we went inside?” You asked. 

“Whatever you want,” he said softly. “Give you whatever you want.” 

You just nodded before kissing him lightly, pulling back much faster this time. 

“Then let’s go inside.” 

He just nodded, guiding you to the door before opening it and welcoming you into his home. 

Next Chapter

A/N: EEEEEEEEE THEY'RE FINALLY BACK TOGETHER!

The Joel/Bambi relationship based angst is coming to a close and I think we're all pretty happy about that. Yeah? Yeah. Think we all know what the next chapter will be. Hope you're excited about it because I know I am!

Thanks for being patient while I write this insane chapter. I so appreciate you all for being here and sticking with this story! Love you!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm

[knightyoomyoui]

[SMUT] TWICE Dahyun x Male Reader - "Conquered By An Abomination"

Here's my final one-shot for this year which is another smut fic featuring Dahyun. I want to say that I'm pretty proud and impressed at myself for being able to catch up on the 4th quarter after being too busy during July-October. This fic has got to be one of my experimental and unique works that I decided to try writing, because the concept that you're about to see here was never been done by me before, meaning that this my first-time writing it. Please understand and pardon me if this one turns out to be not suitable to the liking of some, as I feel like this might not be everyone's cup of tea. Enjoy reading and celebrate a Happy New Year with your loved ones, please!

Here's my Ko-fi account where you can drop your donations or ask for a commission. You can check it out on my Tumblr profile too!  Buy knightyoomyoui a Coffee. ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui - Ko-fi ❤️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page. TRIGGER WARNING: contains R+18 mature content, smut WORD COUNT: 4,500+ TAGS: abduction, aphrodisiac, tentacles, rough sex, monster fucking, gangbang, breast play, deepthroating, ass filling, creampie

On Friday, November 13, astrophysicist Dr. Kim Dahyun and her research team went from Busan to Seoul to visit a location where they were tasked with conducting a comprehensive examination.

Based on radar data from their headquarters, it was seen that around midnight yesterday, an object that seems to be a fragment of an asteroid or comet crashed into the vicinity of Seoul.

Their chief professor and mentor at the research lab gave them the order to report any unusual sightings they came across there before calling the military and defense squad to seize control of the area and place it under lockdown, keeping everyone outside of the sector out.

Dahyun and her group entered the hidden area through their vehicle, bypassing the main road and making their way to the designated site. They made the decision to park close to the danger zone as they were leaving the road so they could more easily reach the astronomical devices inside.

"So what's this anomaly of yours supposed to look like?" One of her intern graduated to SNU, YN LN asked her after arranging all the panels around the van.

"It's almost the same as what we used to find from the sky, but this one was the first to do the unthinkable." Dahyun answered, wiping her eyeglasses. "The record says that it's like a small shooting star that emerged from the sky, but the impact it left when it came contact here almost triggered a mild earthquake."

"So that's why the sent us in." He responded, nodding his head understandably.

Dahyun turns her head around, acknowledging her other assistant who is testing some devices that they will equip on their hands outside. "Uhm, Minyoung excuse me for a sec will you?"

"Yes, Miss Kim?"

"Can you grab for me that gloves beside the first cabinet?" She pointed at the direction. Minyoung saw it and unhesitantly passed it to her. "Thanks."

"Are you guys good now?" She checked on her accomplices. They signalled her with a positive note. "Okay, let's take a look what they have in store for us."

After getting out of the van, they began to swing the tall leaves that were obstructing their view and path on the verdant field. They weren't even gone from their car for that far when they observed something startling.

The three researchers were welcomed with a bald area on the top portion of the field, which was produced by a big crater on the land. The leaves that were impacted by the collision scattered across the hole.

"This looks huge." YN exclaimed with a gasping mouth. "Are you all sure it's just a thin shooting star-like that appeared yesterday?"

"It is. They even presented it to me." Dahyun explained. "The anomalies here would be always associated to the geological condition here. I have a chart that describes everything we have encountered for these past few years and I've never seen anything like this that an unknown object also gave us a hard time dealing with a quake."

"We better get starting now because to be honest, this is getting really unpredictable to the minute and I couldn't understand what's going on as long as we see it ourselves." Minyoung suggested. Dahyun and YN looked at her and they were both convinced. YN planted a huge nail beside the crater and wrapped a rope around it that will serve as their handle when going down to the crater.

As the three of them made it below. They began to look around and observe deeply the surfaces. Minyoung kneels down and poked a stick on a gross material, forming a disgusted expression on her face. "Uhh guys, take a look at this."

Dahyun and YN came towards her. "Does this remind you of something?" Minyoung said as she twirled and flipped it around, almost like she's playing on it.

"Is that an eggshell?" YN asked, furrowing his brows at the black and velvet-colored thin piece swimming at a pool of gooey substance.

"Could be. Just look at the fluids around that probably came from this." Dahyun said, mentioning the slime. They garnered their eyes more at their surroundings, there were even bigger ones that what Minyoung has found and they were also mostly covered with a slime.

"Get away from that, Minyoung-ah. Don't you see how disgusting it is?!" YN scolded his friend. He started to cover his nose too with his shirt. "And do you guys smell that?"

"Yeah, it's bad." Dahyun clenched her face in dislike. "Feels like there's a rotting organ in here."

"Wait, so are we gonna conclude right away that we just discovered a cracked egg?" YN said. He scoffed and rubbed his face. "Am I correct at what I think this might mean?"

"No, YN. We're just getting started here. We are researchers we came here to finish our task and not do it in rush just because we're in an unsettling situation right now." Dahyun protested. "We don't jump into conclusions right away."

"S-sorry, Prof." YN bowed his head. "It's just.. I'm sensing something wrong in here."

"YN, let's just wish it would not happen at all. Okay?"

YN looked at Dahyun's comforting and calm demeanor. He nodded shyly. "Yes, Ms. Kim."

Snapping a few photos of the scene, Dahyun gave Minyoung and YN the order to take everything out of the van that would be necessary for them to make a report and gather any evidence that they would find here. Dahyun borrowed a tracker and used it to glide around the crater's borders while they did so.

The tracker bumped against a tall leaf, and the alarm began to sound loudly. After receiving an alert, Dahyun was perplexed as to what it had discovered. Before she caught anything, she inspected the dirt and leaves in the area.

The leaves did not have sharp, pointed ends. Rather, it appears as though the flower has grown directly onto the leaf, utilizing it as a stem or something unexplainable. Dahyun thought it was rather strange to see a flower extending through the body of the leaves itself.

She stepped back to wipe the dust off her face as the flower burst some sprinkle of nectar on her face as she reached out to touch it. She held her tracker again while she coughed, but she quickly figured out that it was unresponsive.

"There's got to be some power or equipment malfunction" Dahyun hissed on the device as she carried it. "Minyoung! YN! I need a help on-"

Dahyun was about to walk back on the van when suddenly she went out of balance and slipped through the crater. When she was about to get up, she saw the van fleeted upwards to the sky, a hole was formed on the bottom of the vehicle before it splitted in half when it crashed on the ground. Her heart shattered she heard it explode.

She wasn't devastated because of the vehicle, but because of the fact that two of her colleagues were inside that van when it exploded. "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" she shouted at the horrific sight from outside the crater.

Dahyun ran through the ropes and hurriedly climbed but she started getting drowsy and lightheaded, her body losing it sense until it managed to get her out of the grip from the rope, sending her unconscious inside the crater.

Right after she snapped out, the ground she's laying at started to flow like waves.

Dahyun woke up hours later, but not without a clue on her, as her mind was still rebooting from what happened to her earlier. Her eyes opened, and there she witnessed herself sitting in the middle of what it seems to be a cave.

She slowly risen up to her feet, her feet stumbled a bit as she felt a dull ache on her head once again. Rubbing it to ease it off atleast, Dahyun breathed deeply before returning back her attention on her current situation of getting stuck.

She couldn't find any light that would provide her to a clearer vision of everything around her. Nervous and desperate to find a route to escape, Dahyun had no other choice but to walk around and explore for a route way out.

"HELPPP!!! ANYBODY OUT THERE CAN HEAR ME?!" Dahyun pleaded as loud as she can reach on her voice. "MINYOUNG? YN? WHERE ARE-"

She paused as she recalled earlier seeing their van where her two assistants were staying in. Her emotions overtook her, releasing teardrops across her face. She also began to feel guilty, thinking that she should have ordered them to go back inside and fetch all of their equipment on her behalf.

Maybe if it wasn't for her, she wouldn't led both her friends on their own demise. Dahyun sobbed heavily as she repeated calling their names in agony.

She slammed her hand accidentally on some surface. Dahyun probably guessed it a wall where she could support herself while trailing along the cave. She took the opportunity, caressing and patting it.

However, Dahyun noticed something different. It was rough, soft, and quite sticky as she could describe. She tried to smell it, and it brought her to a familiar rotten organ smell she, Minyoung, and YN had depicted earlier.

"Huh? What is this?" Dahyun questioned herself where she is also the only one who could find the answer. With one more pat onto the strange wall, she noticed the entire area start to glow including the one where she is touching.

She roamed her eyes around, and it made her tensed to learn that she does indeed correct on her being stuck inside a cave right now, but rather everything that blocks her from the possibility of escaping is covered with unidentified type of organs.

There was a dark area on the far end just right in front of Dahyun's direction. She could swear that she had a glimpse of something that just moved there and disappeared from the shadows in a few second. "WHO'S T-THERE?!" she shouted as she started having suspicions in her mind.

Taking few steps ahead to check out what it is, a loud roar put her into halt before she was about to scream in terror. She fell on her butt and her breathing goes faster, wondering what kind of a monstrous noise she just heard.

She then saw something emerging from the drak shadows. In her utmost bewilderment and panic, an abomination has appeared in front of her, standing tall with its bulbous, humungeous and very disfigured appeareance.

It's size is like almost half of the space of the cave they're occupying, and Dahyun was in complete disbelief that the fear of YN he was trying to refer a while ago has unfortunately manifested into reality. A beast from the space or in other term made by humans ourselves, called aliens- are real in Dahyun's universe.

"D-don't come closer to me!" Dahyun tensefully said as she starts to crawl away from the monster. It blabbered some unusual noises that almost formed some inaudible words while shaking its head madly, and after that, Dahyun saw something popping out of its body.

Two slimy tentacles just came out from each sides and began crawling through Dahyun to reach each of her ankles and get wrapped. She then felt her body being dragged closer to the monster and Dahyun repeatedly yelled, begging for it to stop while tugging the tentacles with all the force she could apply to yank it off, only to end up with no effect.

As Dahyun was placed almost inches away from the gigantic alien creature, she has finally accepted her fate of being helpless and in danger. Tears filled with nothing but negative emotions streamed out of her eyes before the monster blew out some gas that has a color similar to the nectars that were sprayed on her by an infected plant earlier.

After she smelled it, she soon finds her body growing into a sense of arousal that urges her horny feelings to activate. She tried to endure it but she could swear that her skin were releasing more sweat and her pussy and her nipples are starting to become sensitive.

The tentacles must've found the lustful sensation brewing inside of her, and they took the perfect timing as one of them starts to slid through her pencil skirt and lift it up her tummy before it traces her pussy through the soaked panty. It's partner focused on her clothed breasts, bumping it and feeling its softness as it bounces.

Several more tentacles were released from the creature, but this time with various sizes and colors. Some were lighter or darker, some where thicker or thinner. The thin ones snaked through her sleeve and forcefully spreaded her top, revealing her white strapped bras containing her milky tits.

The rest then helped to remove her skirt, exposing her into half naked with her matching pair of white bra and panties. "NOOO! PLEASE, DON'T DO IT!" Dahyun pleaded until she unexpectedly released a sultry moan when a fast tentacle moves through her cheek and rubs itself on her skin.

All the tentacles starts to wrap around on her meaty thighs and slender arms in order to suspend her in mid-air. Their touch becomes even more satisfying and felt relaxing to Dahyun despite how denial the words coming out of her mouth.

Being half-naked and spreaded in front of the creature's ugly looking face, the tentacle then moved from her cheek to her lips as it continues to rub across Dahyun's pretty face. Her lips starts to pucker and the effects of the strange gas which was probably aphrodisiac as Dahyun guessed, made her more susceptible as it clouded her mind with lust and temptation.

She starts kissing the tentacle before it slid through her mouth, she sucks on it like it was a cock entering on her.

The other tentacles started to become bold also. They tugged and remove her bras and panties, finally making her naked. There's these suction cups- like tentacles went to crept up on her torso to her underboobs, feeling her perky tits bounce on their motions before its lips opened and sucked on her hardened pinky nipples.

Thinner tentacles spreaded her walls, assisting the thicker tubular object crawl and enter her tight pussy. It effectively brought another relieving feeling on Dahyun's aroused body, moaning in rhythm to the tentacle's barging on her constricted hole.

Their movements became faster and rougher, including the suction cups almost biting her nipples then returning to lick on it like there were supposed to have milk leaking out of Dahyun's breasts.

Due to the sudden increase of pace, it also din't allow more time for the tentacles to reach their limit. Despite her little efforts and strength to shake them off their body, Dahyun uncontrollably welcomes their slimy liquid that probably resembles to a man's cum, into her warm throat and womb.

She lets out a poor groan and whimper, sniffling in fear of what it could bring her after when she watched the odd colors and thickness of their cum flowing out of her. She hoped it would not cause her to get pregnant, especially if it would mean that she would breed an abnormal hybrid that sets aparts from what a normal baby should look like.

Desire is what Dahyun could just accept within her, disturbing and letting out the pleasure she has long kept to seek any solutions for it. First load wasn't enough for the tentacles howsoever, as she felt the tentacles changing their hold on her limbs to prepare her for a next position.

Still hanging from the mid-air, Dahyun's body was forced to bend, with her backdoor being the one facing the beast. The tentacles spreaded her legs, causing her cheeks and puffy pussy to open a little.

With her arms around her back, Dahyun endured all the harsh slaps of the thicker tentacles to each of her curvy asscheeks. She lost the count of how many times they played on it, too obsessed on how soft and big enough for it to give comfort on these creatures.

Funtime didn't lasted longer as they went already to the next move. She felt the girthy pair pounding both her asshole and pussy, fucking them simultaneously. Her body went back and forth at their movement.

The suction cups returned to play on her breats, tugging on her nipples and stretching them as farther her endurance could take. Dahyun hissed in a mixture of pain and pleasure only because it aided the abuse her tits were being applied at when she felt something gliding through her entire back.

She turned her head around and witnessed the alien sticking out its wide and long tongue slurping the taste of of the sweat forming across her back view.

The thick tentacles reached their climax, exploding a second amount of load to her love holes. Dahyun huffed at the unmatched energy of these active creatures using her body for pleasure.

As they release from her ass and pussy. She was repositioned again. She was now facing the monster completely before she gulped when she realized what she was about to suffer next.

A huge- like literally- gigantic cock, probably measuring around 14 or 15 inches in size unbeatable to any men's size around the world, is ready to explore Dahyun's innards. Dahyun wiggled her legs, afraid that she might break from being unable to take his girth.

But again, she is outnumbered with numerous tentacles attached to her body, imprisoning her from any attempts of escaping, even though she has no other palns anymore as the aphrodisiacs are still in full effect on her.

Their strength pressed Dahyun's body to the awaiting cock. Due to its massive size it struggled to enter Dahyun's tight little pussy before it succeeded, only for the poor scientist to scream and grit her teeth in a shocking pain while the creature twitched and produced more creepy noises.

Thankfully, it didn't last long as the impressive pleasure began to take over her body when the monster started ramming his cock on her pussy, demolishing her womb inside. She went crazily bouncing on its crotch. Dahyun's eyes are completely white, with her pupils now rolled at the back at the intense pace of fucking she's receiving.

Her mouth began to lustfully agape, with her tongue sticking out as the monster cock continues to push deeper across Dahyun's walls. Her ass starts to create loud claps around the cave as it hits the alien's crotch repeatedly.

The giant cock stuffed into her pussy then pulsated, as it erupted a terrifying amount of dirty white cum almost inflating Dahyun's stomach like she is about to be mistakenly identified as pregnant, before it slowly slid out of her pussy, allowing the rest of the load to explode out of her abused hole.

The tentacles lets go of her body, releasing Dahyun on the ground, which gave her time to rest for a while. She panted heavily and speechless at the rough fucking she just had with the monster alien. She couldn't deny that there might be no other man she would ever met that would match the performance of what this monster has showed to her.

All of the tentacles and the bulbous cock slowly erected again the more the creature stares at Dahyun's messy and sticky nude body lying on the floor. They decided to proceed with the last action, as they focus once again on her nether regions.

Lifting her up, they spreaded her arms and legs again and faced her closer to the creature. The suction cups slowly crawled on her back then cupped her full breasts from behind. Dahyun whined and moaned at the relaxing and tickly feeling it gives. One tentacle went through her tongue, a pair goes back to her pussy and asshole.

There was a twist added again coming from the idea of the monster. Wanting to give every single part of her body that could provide a purpose of satisfaction to this monster's desire, they let go of Dahyun's hands and two tentacles caressed her fingers.

Dahyun sensed their hidden message for doing that and finding out the answer, she formed a fist and gripped the tentacles, stroking them like she would do to a male cock.

All of her body and now functioning properly following the monster's command. Dahyun's mind is full of sex. She has been hypnotized and manipulated too much by the pleasure and sensation that the creature has been passing through her using its ability to fuck her senseless and take her breath away.

The thick tentacles had her overpowered and weak from the way they drill through her holes as deeper as they could get. Dahyun felt her neck bulging as the tentacle gave her a deep throat, her clit being scrubbed by a tentacle with a brush-like end on it to add more pleasure, and the other tentacle wiggling around her ass.

They all began to pull the trigger of increasing the speed while they all moved in unison, their grip on her skin went tighter as they felt this familiar tightness in their system, approaching the climax of their endurance. Dahyun squirted her juices again and spasmed at her own orgasm, resulting to her walls clamping on the tentacles more.

Few more waves, pumps and strokes they gave and finally they executed their final blow, releasing their cum flowing through her throat, ass and pussy simultaneously, as she switches through gags and moans. The two other tentacles enwrapped on her fists splashed their warm sticky liquid on her arms and side of her face.

The rest of the tentacles joined, painting Dahyun's entire body with the rest of the cum flowing and leaking out of its ends. As they finished, the tentacles crawled around Dahyun's skin, giving her body a nice calming massage to ride out their lengthy session of sex and intense orgasms they shared.

Dahyun couldn't opened her eyes wide anymore as she knew she's completely drained now. The creature slowly laid her back on the ground with her body entirely covered with cum. She also weakly spitted and coughed out some from her mouth after unable to swallow all of the load down to her filled tummy.

Now that she can have her rest, Dahyun slowly shuts her eyes as she went unconscious, while the tentacles continue to caress her hair gently and massage her body, especially her addicting round tits, as they wiped away all the stuffs around her pearly skin.

When she woke up again from her long slumber, she found herself lying on a hospital bed with her body now clothed in a hospital gown.

Realizing that she is now in a hospital and two familiar people sleeping with their head resting beside her bed, she concluded that after everything that happened to her, she was now free and safe from that creature she encountered.

She gasped and shuddered as she remembered what it did to her, it awakened her parents and quickly hugged her in response to her fine state. "Oh thank God you're okay.", her mother said.

"How are you feeling, daughter?" Mr. Kim checked up on her. "It's been days you were confined. We were really worried that something worse could happen."

"I-I'm alright… I'm just… still tired." Dahyun said in a weak tone. Her eyes became watery when she remembered Minyoung and YN. "Mom… Dad, we-… we got ambushed. They didn't make it, it's my fault." she said as her lips trembled.

"No, daughter. Don't blame yourself, we know you can't do such bad thing with whole intention. I know you." Mrs. Kim said, rubbing her palms to calm down her poor daughter.

"We heard what happened to you and your team, Dubu. We're sorry." Her father stated in sympathy. "But we couldn't help ourselves to be thankful that we have been given a miracle to have you still here, safe and sound."

"I missed you, Mom… Dad." Dahyun holds her mother's hand and looked them in the eyes tenderly. "I thought I wouldn't make it."

"Oh, by the way. If you may be wondering how did we managed to get you here, it's all thanks to your workmates. They sent a rescue on the location where they found you lying on a grass field with your…. dress torn up covering your body." Her father gulped and lowered his head in regret at the last words. Dahyun just furrowed her brows, couldn't recall that part.

Dahyun saw her mom getting choked up on her emotions. She pressed her hands on her own and stared at her eagerly. "Dubu, answer me with all honesty. Okay?"

Dahyun just listened attentively on what her mom's about to ask. "W-who did this to you?"

Their conversation were interrupted when the door opened. Two men appeared in a room, in which Dahyun speculated that it's a doctor and the other one works in the military.

"Pardon to interrupt, Mr. and Mrs. Kim but this gentleman right here is taking a visit and… to ask for a request for the both of you." The doctor said. He looked at his patient, his face lightened in relief. "Oh, you're Miss Dahyun right? Good thing that you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fined, doc." Dahyun replied.

"Is there anything you need from us, sir…?" her mother asked.

"General Knight Yoo of the Seoul Military Army. Greetings to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Kim." the military man introduced himself to the family, performing a salute gesture. "Yes, I actually would like to speak with your daughter."

They all looked at Dahyun who became curious at the acknowledgement. "For what, sir?"

"It's regarding to that research that your team embarked near outside Itaewon." Knight elaborated. Dahyun's eyes widened in astonishment as his words struck those memories of her on that given time to repeat in cycle on her mind, including that one awful experience that she had.

"Your faculty cooperated with us in order to seek help when they lost their line to your team. We went through an investigation at that site and we found something… threatening, and we assume that since you're the only survivor in the incident confirmed yet, we would like you to enlighten us as we interrogate you about what actually happened."

Dahyun pursed her body forward slight from leaning on the bed, her face showed a puzzled expression. "Wait, what do you mean 'yet'?"

General Yoo maintained his intrigued stare at the patient. "Ms. Bae Minyoung's remains were found by the forensic team but your other accomplice, Mr. YN LN is still nowhere to be found but some of his torn out clothing were seen inside a cave. We will give it one week before we rule him as deceased."

Dahyun's switched looks at the four people gathered around her before she lured away her eyes filled with hope for her friend's disappearance from them.

Her traumatic experience of being conquered by an abomination should've brought her instantly to cooperate with the armed forces as they requested for her to stand up as the witness and part of the evidence in this important matter.

But rather, she's conflicted about what she should consider telling to them.

The idea of the alien monster who also amazingly pleasured her beyond the edge, disregarding the actual peculiar possibility behind the monster's odd behavior when she was held captive which failed for Dahyun to intepret; made her think twice on the decision she has to unveil.

[pawnshopbleus]

Happy Birthday, Miss. President

Professor!Abby Anderson x Fem!Student!Reader

Contains - smut, teacher and student relationship, Reader is 22 and Abby is 32, this isn’t beta read so…

Summary - When an alumni meeting and your birthday fall on the same day, Professor Abby Anderson finds a way to make up for it.

Author's note - I don’t know how college works because I’m a senior in high school. Let’s just pretend that Harvard has class presidents. Let’s also pretend this is in character for Abby.

When you ran for senior class president you knew that there would be certain commitments that you could not break. You promised the entire student body that you would take their concerns into account. You wanted Harvard to become an inclusive school where everyone was welcomed. You weren’t expecting to win considering that you were running against Dina Williams, head cheerleader and every man's dream girl. When you won, you were pleasantly surprised and couldn’t wait to get to work. That was until you found out what it meant to actually be the class president.

You needed to approve new clubs, promote pep rallies, set up the student section for football games, host spirit week, hold outreach meetings, and attend all the club meetings. To say that your life would be busy would be an understatement.

That was three months ago. Now, it is a cold October day. The trees rustled along the windows of lecture room two hundred and eleven. Some heads were settled on the desk in front of them while others quickly scribbled down notes. Professor Anderson, the chemistry professor, and your advisor glided through each slide about molecular structure. You watched as students dropped their pencils and pens to give their poor little hands a break from writing. You enjoyed the show from the comfort of your teacher's assistant's desk.

The clock struck five pm, indicating the end of class. Students rejoiced as they packed up their things and left the lecture room, leaving only you and Professor Anderson in the classroom.

You watched with attentive eyes as she walked over to her desk in the front of the room. It was dimly lit and cold over there, casting an angelic glow over her. Professor Anderson was wearing the forest green button-up blouse that you liked so much. It was made out of cotton meaning that sometimes it gets too hot. When she overheats in her clothes she likes to unbutton the top three buttons of her blouse. If one tries hard enough they can get a small glimpse of the bra she's wearing. You feel like a perv for knowing, but the professor isn’t so innocent either. Sometimes you catch her licking her lips as she stares at you, completely forgetting that she’s in a room with hundreds of other people.

As a chemistry major, you need to take many advanced chemistry classes. Since the first day of class, you found yourself staring at Professor Anderson as she taught. She would often lean on her desk in front of the class while her arms were crossed in front of her. She was the type of woman that you fantasized about. Tall, strong, and smart.

At first, it started out as a simple attraction towards her, then it turned into a crush, and now you were completely infatuated with her. You felt like you struck gold when she was appointed to be your advisor.

You get up from your chair and walk over to Professor Anderson’s desk. She looks up at you through her half-moon glasses. Her blonde hair framed her face perfectly. She prefers to wear her hair in a braid, but on rare occasions, she will wear it down, just the way you like it.

“Come pull up a chair. We have some things to go over,” Professor Anderson said as she pulled out her calendar.

You dragged a chair from the corner and placed it next to her. Now that you were just inches away from her, you could smell the keynotes of her perfume. Black cherry, tonka bean, and almond. You inhaled the scent through your nose and exhaled. She smelled good enough to eat.

Professor Anderson flipped her hair from one shoulder to the other, giving you a good view of her neck. God, how you wished you were a vampire right now so you could sink your teeth into her perfect neck. You wanted to consume her, mind, body, and soul. Maybe that was a little violent, but it was true.

You were sitting so close to her that if you extended your pinky just a little bit you would be touching her.

“So, what is it you wanted to go over?” you squeaked. You hate how pathetic you sound every time you speak with her. Oh, how you wished you could exhibit the confidence some lesbians had in television and movies.

At least your birthday is coming soon. It was next Friday, the perfect day for it to fall on. After two hours of classes, you would return to your shoebox of an apartment and watch a stupid rom-com while you drank boxed wine. Now that sounded like the perfect way to spend your twenty-second birthday.

“You have a very busy week ahead of you. On Monday you have a GSA meeting to go to, the Tuesday there is an event you need to set up for, Wednesday there’s a peer counseling session you need to over see, on Thursday there’s a short film screening that you need to make an appearance at, and on Friday there’s an alumni meeting that you need to attend.” Professor Anderson took a deep breath in to catch her breath after talking for so long.

Your eyes widened with horror. No, you couldn’t spend your birthday in a stupid meeting. “Professor, I don’t think I can make it to the meeting on Friday. It’s my birthday.”

“Friday is your only mandatory day. I’m sorry but you have to go.” Professor Anderson put her hand on your upper thigh and squeezed it. She must have realized what she had done because she quickly took her hand off our thigh and cleared her throat.

You let out a small sigh of frustration and played with the sleeve of the top you were wearing. You weren’t going to complain. You couldn’t. You didn’t want to seem ungrateful in front of your professor.

“I’ll be there, Professor,” you assured her.

“Do me a favor. When it’s just the two of us, call me Abby.”

Abby, short for Abigail. A name of Hebrew origin deeply intertwined with a figure of great beauty and intellect.

“That’s a beautiful name,” you gave her a tight-lipped smile that didn’t really reach your eyes. You were still a little disappointed about not having your birthday off, but this is what you get for running for class president.

You dismissed yourself and began the trek from your college campus to your apartment. Leaves were falling and trees that still had their coverings began to change color. The wind rustled and shook the naked branches of trees. The sun was setting, and the streetlights were about to turn on.

You hugged yourself tight as you walked against the wind. You kept licking your lips as you walked, silently cursing yourself for not bringing Vaseline with you.

You reached into your bag to search for the keys to your apartment. You unlocked the door and dropped your things on the floor. You replaced your day clothes with your pajamas and got into bed, but you couldn’t fall asleep. You stayed up all night thinking about a certain blonde-haired professor that looked like a dream.

— — — — — —

The alumni meeting was in full swing. Men and Women in their forties and fifties mixing and mingling with each other. The room smelled of expensive perfume and cologne, no doubt it was from the amount of money most of the alumni went on to make. Most of them are very successful doctors, engineers, scientists, CEOs, tech pioneers, and entertainment executives. The rest of them peaked in college and have thousands of dollars in debt.

You stood at the back of the auditorium smiling once in a while at alumni who caught your eye. So far, you haven’t done anything. The most you did was direct a lost man who needed to use the restroom. When you told him that the restrooms were in the other hall he mumbled something under his breath. It went along the lines of things sure have changed since I went here. You didn’t have it in your heart to tell him that the restrooms have always been down that hall.

You silently cursed Abby for making you attend this meeting. You could have been at home celebrating your birthday, but instead, you had to stand in the back of a stuffy room with people way older than you.

The latest Abby could have done was attend the meeting. Could you even call this a meeting?

A man who looked like he was in his late sixties stepped on the stage in the front of the room. He tapped the mic three times and spoke into it. His voice was raspy, “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the entire Harvard community, I welcome you back to your alma mater.” Everyone in the room began to clap. The sound was overwhelming. The man on stage began speaking again. “Now, I would like to welcome one of our best professors to the stage. She is a Harvard graduate herself and now teaches chemistry in the Department Of Chemistry and Chemical Engineering. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Professor Abigail Anderson.”

Abby stepped out in a black jumpsuit and red Louboutins. Her hair fell down in beautiful waves and grazed her open back. She looked like a dream up on that stage.

“Thank you all for coming tonight,” her eyes began to scan the crowd and once they fell upon yours she smiled and began speaking again, “I am here tonight to reward all of you for your kind and generous donations. All of you will be rewarded with your own monument in the botanical gardens.” The alumni began to clap and cheer.

Is this why you needed to be here? To watch some rich people pay their way to the top?

You pushed your way through the sea of older people and made your way outside. Autumn in Massachusetts was fairly cold, but winter was colder and harsher. You hugged yourself in hopes that your own body heat would warm you up as you began walking in the direction of your apartment. This was your first time as class president leaving a function early. There was no reason for you to be there.

“Where are you going?” Abby asked from the doorway of the auditorium.

You huffed, causing you to see your breath in the cold air, “I’m going home.”

Abby ran up after you, “As senior class president it is your duty to be here. As your advisor, I will not tolerate your attitude.”

You stopped walking, “There’s no reason for me to be there. Either this is a ploy for the room to look packed or you really hate me. There are other ways I would like to spend my twenty-second birthday and being in a room with Harvard alumni is not one of them.”

“Listen to me,” she said your name in a tone that can only be described as stern. You could have melted from how much your skin heated up, but you kept your composure. “I understand that it’s your birthday, but I need you to go back there and mingle with people for a little bit.”

You inhaled the cold autumn air through your nose and exhaled. “Fine,” you said flatly.

“Good,” Abby’s cherry red lips stretched into a smile at your agreement. “By the way, I have a surprise for you in my classroom. You’ll have to wait till later to open it though.” Abby winked before returning to the auditorium.

You followed her back into the auditorium. Not because you wanted to, but because you had to. You returned to your place in the back of the room. You took a sip of the water that was on the refreshment table in the front of the room. You wanted to stay sober enough for whatever Abby had in the classroom.

— — — — — —

The auditorium was mostly empty. The alumni have returned to their accommodations for the night. The only people that were left were you, Abby, and the janitorial staff.

Abby beckoned you to follow her with her hand. The two of you walked side by side to her classroom. You were at a respectable distance so as to not cause suspicion, but you wished you could be closer to her. You wanted to feel her skin on yours.

The two of you reached her classroom a few minutes later. It was cold in her classroom, if not colder than outside.

Abby lit two vanilla-scented candles instead of turning on the lights. The flames bounced off the walls of the classroom causing it to cast an angelic glow over the both of you.

Abby walked over to her desk and grabbed a small box from her drawer. “Happy birthday,” she said as she handed you the box.

Inside was a silver necklace with your first initial. “Oh, Abby. I don’t know what to say. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Your words were all over the place and all of a sudden you felt bad for the way you treated her earlier.

“It’s no problem. Here, let me help you put it on,” she volunteered. She held the necklace in between her fingers and slid it around your neck. The cold metal kissed your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

You looked at Abby over your shoulder and gave her a soft smile. When your eyes met her, that's when you realized that her eyes were focused on your lips. “Abby?” you whispered. Her eyes flickered up to meet yours, silently asking for permission. You gave her a soft nod and she kissed you. Years worth of pent-up emotions came down to this. Her kissing you in the spur of the moment.

You immediately returned the kiss, your lips meeting hers with the same amount of fervor. Your hands tangled into the long strands of her hair. Abby tasted just like cherries, sweet and a little tart. Now that you’ve had a taste of her you wouldn’t be able to get it out of your mind.

Abby broke the kiss, giving you a few moments to catch your breath. You were high with desire for your professor. “Do you want this?” she asked. Abby wanted to make sure that you were one hundred percent on board with this before you went any further.

You nodded your head and Abby asked. “Use your words.”

“Yes,” you breathed. You were surprised at your ability to form words at the present moment.

Once she had your verbal consent she attacked your lips once more. This time she allowed her hands to glide up and down your body. Her hands explored every inch and curve of your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Remnants of her red lipstick painted your skin along the way.

You were getting bored of the teasing so you guided her hands under the top you were wearing, giving her permission to take it off. The rest of your clothes are soon to follow. Now, you’re left with nothing on but your necklace as Abby guides you to lie down on her desk. It’s cold and hard, but that’s the least of your worries when you have a naked Abby Anderson hovering on top of you.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t do this properly, but I couldn’t wait,” Abby whispers into your skin as she leaves trails of wet kisses on your skin.

Abby’s trail eventually leads to where you need her the most. Your sex is exposed to the cold air of her classroom. Her hands latch onto the fat of your thighs as she trails kisses on the inside of your thighs. It was one of the most erotic sights you’ve ever seen. Abby was down there, her hair grazing her naked skin, the glow of the candles making her look like a goddess.

Abby licks up and down your slit, getting you nice and wet for her fingers. Your thighs twitched, not being used to the feeling of getting eaten out, but Abby kept them apart with her hands. She continued massaging your clit with her tongue. She was using methodical strokes. Up and down and side to side were her favorites.

She inserted one finger in first, getting you used to her size. Her fingers were thick so it took a few thrusts for you to finally feel ready for another. Her fingers slid in and out of your slick hole as she continued sucking your clit.

You were close. You could feel your orgasm pooling in your lower stomach. “Abby,” you breathed, “I’m close.”

“I know, baby. I can feel it.”

And without further warning you came, your juices painting her face Abby helped you through your orgasm, stroking your clit a few times for good measure.

It took both of you a few moments to collect your breath. Abby then got a towel that she had in her desk and cleaned you up. She proceeds to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand.

Abby let out a laugh of delight, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

“Really?” Your forehead scrunched up in confusion, “Why?”

Abby then proceeded to compliment you more times than you can count. You bit your lip, trying to hide the smile that was growing on your face. This was the best birthday celebration a girl could ask for.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's pretend that was good!

[pb524830]

anyone else

part: 3 pairing: paige bueckers x oc word count: 3.3k c/w: slight mention of blood, language a/n: hi guys! so sorry this is probably much later than you expected, i've just been so busy with school and other stuff. here's part 3. let me know what ideas you guys have for other fics and what you might want to see :)

OCTOBER 2020

Ava you good?     8:24 PM

Yo I’m waiting at mine       8:43 PM

Avaaaa      8:46 PM

I’m going crazy thinking about you dude      8:52 PM

I’m serious         8:52 PM

Don’t leave me hanging like this      8:52 PM

I read over Paige’s messages tiredly. I feel so incredibly stupid. How many times has she used these lines on girls? Probably more than she can count. I nearly laugh out loud. Poor Paige, I think to myself. Keeping track of a roster like that while being such a shitty person must be hard. The hatred is bubbling in my chest, angry and scorching. It pushes me to my feet, out my door, and to Audrey’s room.

Before I know what I’m doing, I knock on the door, plastering a smile on my face. “Hey, what’s up?” Aubrey says brightly when she opens her door. “Nothing much. Who was that, though?” Audrey smiles sheepishly. “Swear you won’t tell anyone?” She asks. My heart pounds painfully. Paige had asked me to keep quiet about us hanging out, too. I nod nonetheless. “It was Paige Bueckers.”

I knew that. I knew that. But somehow, hearing it out loud hurts even worse. “How-how did y’all meet?” She giggles, covering her mouth. “Okay, you remember that night we were at the gym? Doing serve-receive? Like last month?” I nod, the thudding in my chest suffocating me now. “She ran into me and she just, like, asked for my snap. And she’s hot so I gave it to her.”

The night she walked me home. The same night she told me I was pretty and told me that my smile was beautiful. 

She played me.

“Was she good?” I ask bluntly, my voice foreign to my own ears. Aubrey’s eyes widen. “Uh, yeah? Like, really good. Oh, my God - she did this thing with her tongue...” There’s a roaring in my ears all of a sudden.

She fucking played me.

“Avantika? Are you okay?” I nod, too wrapped up in my own thoughts and back away, stumbling back to my room. Had I liked her that much? Why does it hurt this bad? I glance around my room, my eyes landing on an article of clothing. Her hoodie. A UConn basketball hoodie. She’d given it to me after walking me home from practice one night.

She’d come to the volleyball gym just to walk me home. She told me I looked good in her clothes, but that I’d look better in her bed.

I’d slept in it for three days straight after. 

I want to burn it now.

NOVEMBER 2021

The surprise party is at Paige’s apartment. I haven’t been there in over a year. But I find myself standing in front of her door, too nervous to knock. Which doesn’t make any sense, obviously. There’s no reason to be nervous; it’s just like any other party. I’m dressed in a strappy green tank top and cargo pants, my hair down and curly. Taking a deep breath, I rap on the door with my knuckles.

Paige opens it. My breath catches, and I hate that it does. She’s in a pair of blue shorts and a sports bra, drying her hair with a towel. Her hand drops to her side, towel in hand, when she sees me. “Avantika, hi.” I smile slightly. “Hey,” I reply. “Am I early? I didn’t wanna be late, so-”

“Nah, ur good. You can help set up, actually,” she tells me, shuffling to the side to let me in. Her apartment looks the same as I remember. I catch a glimpse of her familiar, ludicrous purple bed sheets through her cracked room door. I turn to her, inhaling deeply. “What can I help with?” I ask, holding out my present for Azzi. Her eyes linger on me, trailing over my body as she takes the gift in one hand and continues drying her hair with the other. “I blew up balloons, but I didn’t string them together yet. You mind?” 

She sets the present on the counter, hopping up onto it. Her legs dangle off the edge, spread wide as she watches me string together balloons that say ‘Happy Birthday’. She fishes a dab pen out of her pocket and takes a hit. “You want?” She asks. I glance at her, shaking my head. She shrugs, tipping her head back to release the smoke. My eyes draw to her jawline, fingers going slack. I curse myself for still letting her have this effect on me. Her head lolls back forward, catching me staring. I see her mouth twitch into a smirk, ever so slightly, before she clears her throat. “You all good there?” She asks, gesturing to the balloon garland I’m supposed to be helping with.

I laugh shakily. “No, yeah. All good.” Paige shakes her head, grinning. “Here, I’ll do it. There’s a package in my bedroom with streamers. Go grab it?” I roll my eyes, handing the balloons and string over to her. “You remember which one it is?” She hums, eyes flicking to mine. My mouth twitches. I nod wordlessly.

The silence is so suffocating. I’m not used to being alone with her - at least, not anymore. I hate that her presence is still so intoxicating, that there’s still this undeniable force pulling me to her. I hate the way she laughs and the way she talks and the way she looks at me.

I get in and out of her room as quickly as possible, snatching the Amazon package off of her bed. I grab a knife from the kitchen to slice through the tape, but I’m so distracted that I accidentally slash my own finger. I hiss in pain, dropping the knife onto the counter with a clatter. “Fuck,” I whisper agitatedly, Paige’s head whipping up. “Avantika?” She asks. “All good,” I say, turning away from her, holding my finger to my chest, trying not to get blood on my top. It’s really flowing now, in rivets down my finger, pooling in my palm.

“Yo, Avantika,” Paige says, turning me towards her by my shoulder. “Oh, shit,” she breathes, grabbing my hand. “Okay, wait, it’s fine-” I try to get out, but Paige already has my finger in her mouth. My eyes widen as she licks away the blood, walking me backwards with her to rummage around a kitchen drawer. “Paige!” I say. She shoots me a look, taking my finger out of her mouth and wiping at her lips with the back of her hand. She fishes out a bandaid and an alcohol wipe. 

“I can do it-”

“Hush.”

I shut up immediately, watching as Paige cleans my cut, shaking her head when I hiss at the sting of the alcohol swab. She tears at the bandaid package with her teeth and applies it smoothly, wrapping it tightly around my finger. “How’d you even manage that?” She muses. I narrow my eyes at her, snatching her hand away. “It was very strategic, actually, I wanted to slice my hand open-”

“Clearly-”

“What are you, fuckin’ pre-med now?” I demand.

“Might have to be, if you can’t take care of yourself,” she laughs, shoving me lightly.

I shove her back, smiling back at her. I can’t help it.

Her eyes meet mine. “No ‘thank you'?” She asks.

I scoff. “You put a bandaid on me,” I ridicule.

Paige’s eyes widen. “I could’ve let you bleed to death,” she says.

I gape. “You are so dramatic-”

“And you’re ungrateful as hell, come here,” she complains, grabbing at my waist and pulling me against her more or less bare torso, hands going to my sides to tickle me. I shriek with laughter, fighting at her, clutching at her hands to pull her away from me. But Paige is relentless, hands going everywhere, ordering me, “Say thank you! Say thank you and I’ll stop!” 

“No shot!” I gasp, eyes welling with tears of laughter, trying to ignore the scent of strawberries that invades my nostrils. 

“Say it!” She demands, an arm winding all the way around my torso to hold me against her as I fight harder. 

“Yo, why the fuck is nothing set up?” I hear a voice demand. Paige’s hold loosens, but doesn’t relax. Her arms hang limply from my body, and when I see Evina standing indignantly in front of us, I shove her away. Paige clears her throat, backing up.

“Hi, Evina,” I say, my tone suddenly solemn. “Hi, E,” Paige says. She at least has the sense to look sheepish.

“Well, if y’all are done fucking around, Caroline’s about to drive Azzi back. Let’s get it together,” she commands, clapping her hands. Paige and I snap into motion, finishing up the decorations and hanging them up in a relatively organized fashion.

The party goes smoothly - Azzi does a good job of acting surprised, though I’m sure she’s well aware of what the girls were going to do in the first place. We cut cake and load her up with presents, before Paige calls for a round of shots.

And that’s when the night really takes off.

Soon enough, Paige has made some sort of insinuation that she can drink better than me, and I’m going shot for shot with her. She’s really putting me through it, knowing just how to push my competitive nature. Me, her, and Azzi begin alternating between vodka and tequila. We’re about 5 shots in before Aubrey and Christyn challenge Paige and Azzi to a game of beer pong. Azzi shakes her head adamantly. “If Paige loses because of me, I’ll never live it down,” she insists. “Ava will go!”

I protest immediately when Azzi pushes me towards the table, Paige in hot pursuit. “No way! I’m not playing beer pong with a bunch of basketball players,” I say indignantly. Suddenly, I feel Paige’s breath hot on my ear, and her hand at my hip. “Hey, I got you, okay? Trust.” Her voice sends shivers through me, and I feel my eyelids flutter. Damn her. I elbow her ever so slightly, shooting her a grin. She smirks back. 

Paige dips a ping-pong ball into a cup full of beer on our side, shooting it to theirs. It swirls into their middle cup, and she hands me the other one. I mimic her actions, making it into the cup at the tip of their triangle. We get the balls back, and Paige makes another shot, holding up a 3 on her hand when it plops into a cup at the corner of their triangle. I giggle at Christyn and Aubrey’s annoyed expressions, staggering into Paige. She braces her hands on my shoulders, her chest vibrating with laughter. “You good?” she laughs. I look up at her, her stark blue eyes framed by long, dark lashes, her perpetual smirk. “Yeah,” I breathe. “You want help with this shot?” She asks.

Paige doesn’t give me time to respond before she turns me around, wrapping her arms around me to position my arms, then flicking my wrist for me. The ball lands in their middle cup, and the other two girls groan, reaching for the cups to chug them. I expect Paige to move away from me, to drop my arms the second I’ve made the shot. But her hold lingers, an arm looped around my waist as she laughs, jeering at Christyn and Aubrey, tossing them the balls out of pity. Her arms stay around me, my head leaning back against her chest, hands lingering on her arms, swaying to the music I’m too drunk to recognize, dancing with the girl I’m too drunk to push away. She doesn’t remove her arms from around me until she has to shoot again.

I don’t remember who loses or wins that game of beer pong. I remember the taste of beer in my throat. I remember Paige’s voice in my ear - “Shot of Pink Whit?” I remember Azzi giggling as she leads me into the kitchen, her arms linked with mine as we down the shot of pink liquid. 

I remember Paige’s eyes hot on mine, her gaze challenging and curious. 

I walk up to her, holding out a shot of Pink Whitney. “Drink,” I command. Paige takes the shot from me, not breaking eye contact. She tips it back down her throat, straight-faced, and then wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

Fuck, she’s hot.

I clap gleefully, spinning away, but she catches at my waist, pulling me into her. “Avantika,” she murmurs. I cock my head. “Paige?” I ask. My heart is beating out of my chest, and I’m so drunk I don’t even realize how close we are. “Are you okay?” She asks sincerely. I nod happily, looping my arms around her neck. “Are you sure?” She repeats. I close my eyes, tipping my head back and laughing. “You don’t have to pretend to care about me,” I slur, lolling my head back towards her.

I must be drunk. I must be, because that’s not a flash of hurt that flits across her face. It can’t be. 

So I continue.

“I mean, you never really cared about me, did you?” I scoff, hanging off of her neck. Her brow furrows. “Avantika, what are you-”

“You just wanted to have sex with me…” I say sadly, pouting, tracing her face with my finger. Paige’s eyes widen.

“It’s okay. I wanted to have sex with you, too,” I admit, shrugging, tapping my finger against her lips. Paige shakes her head. “Avantika, you’re drunk,” she says. My hands trail down to rest on her chest. “No, I’m not,” I say indignantly.

“You are.”

“No, you are,” I retort, getting frustrated.

“Ava-”

I push her away immediately. “Do not fucking call me that,” I spit. She holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she tries to amend, reaching for me again. I stagger away. “No, fuck you,” I snap. “Avantika, you’re so drunk right now. Please, just come lie down.”

She’s pleading with me. I hesitate. “Please,” she begs again, holding a hand out.

I hesitate. “Okay,” I whisper, taking her hand. She pulls me into her chest, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. We stumble through the apartment, the din of conversation in music echoing faintly in the background. Dimly, I hear Azzi’s concerned voice cut through the haze. “Is she okay?” Paige nods. “She was trying to keep up with me,” she explains. “And you let her?” Azzi demands. “Look, I’m sorry-”

“Put her to bed in your room. And no funny business. She’s my friend.”

“Whatever, Azzi.”

Before I know it, Paige’s soft bedspread is tickling my nose. “Avantika, you want water?” She asks. I stretch out, nodding sleepily. “Here, sit up.” I let Paige feed me water, her fingers fumbling with the cap of the bottle. Then she lays me back down. “Sleep, okay?” She turns to walk out the door.

And then, like it has a mind of its own, my mouth opens. “Paige?” I whisper. She turns around immediately. “Will you stay?” I ask softly.

Wordlessly, she climbs into bed with me, kicking off her shoes. She wraps her arms around me, pulling me against her body, and I let her, breathing her scent in, happy that I get to touch her. I snuggle into her, too drunk to care about the implications of how close we are or what we were doing the last time we were both on this bed.

“Paige,” I say quietly. “Hm?” I shift to look up at her, tracing the line of her nose with my eyes. “I don’t actually hate you,” I mumble. She laughs. “You better go to sleep before you say something you regret,” she murmurs. I blink, not fully understanding her words. But I nestle against her chest, letting my arm loop around her waist.

“Avantika?” She asks after a few minutes. I don’t respond. I feel her hand tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Ava,” she repeats, more firmly. I still don’t answer, too tired to move my mouth, humming softly.

Her breath whistles against my forehead when she says what she says next.

 “God, I missed you.”

NOVEMBER 2020

“Ava.”

It’s just after a tough loss to Georgetown, and I’m exhausted. As soon as I exit the gym, though, Paige is waiting for me. I have no idea how she’s managed to get anywhere near the volleyball locker rooms.

I deliberately ignore her, brushing past her.

“Ava, come on, talk to me!” She calls, jogging after me.

“I have nothing to say to you,” I say shortly, walking faster.

“You owe me an explanation,” Paige pants, catching up to me and grabbing my arm. She spins me around to face her. “Why haven’t you answered my texts?” She demands. There’s a hint of hurt in her voice. There’s purple under her eyes. 

Fuck her.

“Didn’t even realize you’d texted me,” I say casually. 

Her eyes narrow. “That’s bullshit and we both know it.” 

I shrug nonchalantly. “Maybe I just don’t think about you as much as you think about me,” I say, rolling my eyes. She looks taken aback. The truth is I’ve thought about her every single day since that night about a week ago. I’ve replayed every moment, every touch, every word of everything she’s ever done or said to me in my head. And then I remember her leaning in to kiss Audrey. The way she cupped her face. The way she grabbed her waist and pulled her in. The way she smiled that heartbreaking smile against her lips before she pulled away.

Paige recovers from her shock quickly, reaching for me again. I step back away from her.

“Ava,” she tries again.

It hurts to hear her say that. That name for me that only she’s ever called me, and it’d only been a couple of months, but this girl had made her way into my head and my heart.

“Don’t call me that,” I tell her coldly.

“What?” She asks, stepping closer again.

“I said don’t call me that. Are you deaf?” I demand. I know I’m being rude. Mean, even. I don’t care. I need her as far away from me as possible.

Hurt flashes across her features.

“Matter of fact, don’t text me at all,” I say, disgust lacing my tone. I force it there.

“Why the fuck are you acting like this? You were all over me a week ago, just begging me to fuck you-” Her voice is raising, but mine can, too.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you piece of shit,” I snap at her.

“You know what, you’re being such a bitch right now-” She accuses, her features twisting with annoyance.

“It’s not my fault you can’t take a fucking hint,” I sneer.

She crowds my space, towering over me, leaning down slightly to snarl against my face.

“And what was the hint I was supposed to take, hm?” Her voice is quiet, but there’s anger in her tone, dripping into me in the way her breath hits my face. She’s so close, her scent so intoxicating, that I just want to give in. “Was the hint that you were stripping for me in my bed? Or that you were moaning my name? Which one was it, Avantika?”

I slap her. Not hard, just enough that she stumbles back. Her hand flies to her cheek, eyes widening in shock. 

“I don’t want you,” I say coolly. Liar, liar, liar.

“So leave me the fuck alone.”

[mlbigbang]

2023 Marichat & Ladrien Fic Rec List

It’s the end of the year which means it’s finally time for the ML Big Bang’s yearly fic rec lists! We’re really excited to bring you our contributors’ favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you’re waiting for the Big Bang fics’ publication in January.

Boulangérella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

It's a creative Cendrillon retelling with the kwamis as fay, Adrien as the kingdom's prince and most wanted thief, and Marinette as the seamstess and superhero partner stealing Adrien's heart twice over.

Scary, like a little black purring kitten by @h-sunnywet-d

The calendar just turned into October, and Chat Noir has to make sure that his Good Friend Marinette appreciates the new season wholeheartadly. It sure won't backfire on the long run.

Just An Ordinary Girl by @kasienda

Chat Noir and the other heroes are in a bit of trouble, and Ladybug wanted just one weekend off! But luckily they know someone who can help. Someone who is just an ordinary girl…

you will never sleep alone (i'll love you) by @ladyofthenoodle

Marinette had saved up for months to be able to afford this vacation. Not only that, but she’d spent months trying to convince herself that it was okay to even take a vacation, that Monarch was really and truly gone. Which was why Tikki was at home with Alya, so that Marinette could actually relax and enjoy the plush amenities the hotel had to offer, such as a bed that looked like it cost five times her monthly salary. Or, she would be able to enjoy it, if she wasn’t standing in the middle of the villa she’d booked over a month ago, fighting for the bed with freaking Chat Noir, of all people.

May I introduce myself, Your Highness? by @chocoluckchipz

Whether picking up a stray animal off the streets or saving a dying child at the market, Adrien had always strived to be the best version of himself. Truly, he would've been the perfect candidate to be snatched up by a kwami, were he an orphan, dying somewhere remote after a short life full of nothing but suffering and misery. Yet as it stood, the sole heir to the French throne had little to complain about. Apart from, perhaps, a complete absence of a love life. That is until a mysterious girl, wandering around his gardens at night, catches his attention.

This fic has it all - Ladrien, royalty, fairy tale elements, magic and disguises! It's an enthralling read and one of my absolute favorite fics from 2023.

The Perfect Date by @peachcitt

“I dare you to ask this special someone on the date you just described.” “I totally will,” Adrien says with confidence, looking into the camera and nodding resolutely. “Scout’s honor.” He holds up the kitten as if swearing an oath. There is a space of silence. “Right now,” Hanna says. Adrien stares at her. “I’m daring you to ask that person out right now,” she says. or adrien has a little slip up during a live interview, and ladybug hears. for the golden hour zine!!

reserved by @luckyyoyo

“Don’t you think,” he coughed, a blush creeping up his cheeks, “this kind of thing should be.. reserved for my girlfriend?” He gestured to their poses. A squeak came from her mouth and her knees buckled, but surprisingly still had no struggle keeping Adrien up. “You know, you could always be my girlfriend.” Ladybug, saviour of Paris and local damsel-in-distress Adrien Agreste, suggests he gets a fake girlfriend to ward off his zombie fans. While lovingly holding him in her arms, of course. Adrien, far too comfortable in her arms, suggests it could be her. Introducing your superheroine pretend-girlfriend to your strict, uninterested father is a bit harder than Adrien realises.

Displaced by @kasienda

Adrien loosened his tie and dropped his suit jacket unceremoniously across the back of the sofa that was already cluttered with unopened boxes, mail, and unfolded laundry. He really should have listened to Nino and hired a maid or cleaning person of some sort. But well, he still had a secret to keep, and keeping that secret was more important to him than ever. He moved to his bedroom on autopilot without turning on the light, intending to collapse into bed immediately. But when he tried to slip into his space, he found it was already occupied. He flipped his phone flashlight on towards the ceiling to light the room in a soft glow. In his wife’s place, Ladybug lay sprawled diagonally across the bed.

here comes the rush before we touch (come a little closer) by @ladyofthenoodle

When an akuma attacks during Adrien Agreste's beach themed photoshoot on a dreary day in Paris, Ladybug is on the scene immediately. Unfortunately, with a glimpse of Adrien's alluring abdomen and without her partner, it's not long before she's hit, and Adrien with her—but maybe Ladybug can afford a little vacation with the boy she loves. He's certainly not complaining.

On Borrowed Time by @miabrown007

The life of Paris’ Golden Boy is all shine and glamour; blindingly bright smiles, neverending parties, bargaining for just a shard of time for being happy. But that’s alright; Adrien has long given up the false hope that someone will get it. That is precisely why it’s a spectacle when she does, when she barges in like a hurricane in crimson and turns his life upside down. Heaven knows, it’s time for the wind of change.

[gigabyte-flare]

He Comes Alive (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: As you settle into your new routine working for Leon, one day he decides to take you on a nice hike where the two of you make a gruesome discovery.

Word Count: 4.9k

Pairing: vampire/plagas!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader (afab)

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Actions depicted in this story are not condoned in real life. You are responsible for your own content consumption. If any of the following warnings trigger you, please read at your own risk. Minors do not interact, this story is 18+ only.

Warnings: Biting, blood, gore, murder, unprotected p in v, masterbation, oral (m and f receiving), stalking, pet names, kidnapping, breeding kink, blood play/kink, age gap, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT [More warnings may be added in future entries]

This part does contain a graphic depiction of an unalived individual. Reader's discretion is advised.

A quick reminder that I no longer do tag lists

While at first you had been nervous about not meeting Leon’s expectations, you find yourself looking forward to getting up each morning to get ready to work at his house. Before you knew it, a couple weeks had gone by, nestled into a nice routine as October rolled in. Like Leon had told you that night at the gas station, he had you painting, cleaning sawdust off the furniture, holding stuff while he took measurements; stuff you could clearly handle. Each day, he’d hand you a $100 bill from his wallet. At first you’d argue that he was paying you too much, you had agreed on $10 an hour, but he’d insist the extra $20 was a bonus for doing such a good job. You found it impossible to make him budge on this, so you stopped arguing with him about it.

A part of you wonders if Leon just wants the company; out in public, he was quiet and usually kept to himself, but when he was working at his house with you? An actual chatterbox. You learn that he is a retired federal agent of some kind, having come back from a mission in Spain and deciding to retire early in a remote, quiet part of the country. He originally wasn’t planning on buying a fixer-upper, but he told you how he fell in love with the scenery up here.

“It’s only going to get better,” you tell him as you’re painting a wall in his kitchen with a paint roller as he works on installing new cabinets, “wait until the leaves start changing. You’ve never seen anything like fall in New England, I promise.”

Then, to your surprise, Leon began to ask about you. You tell him how you had been forced to go to college for accounting and dropped out when you finally couldn’t take it anymore, much to your father’s disapproval. You watch Leon’s face grow serious as you tell him about how hard your father is on you.

“You really need to stand up for yourself, sweetheart,” you must have heard Leon tell you a thousand times now.

“I know,” you reply, “but he just wants what’s best for me. He just has a weird way of showing he cares. I promise he’s not a mean guy.”

You continue to tell Leon about your family until Leon finally interjects, “Not to change the subject, but can I ask you a personal question?”

You stop mid-roll with the paint roller, looking over at him as he finishes installing another cabinet door, “sure. Shoot.”

“Got a boyfriend?”

Your eyes widen, your breath catching in your throat; that certainly wasn’t a question you expected him to ask. Leon must see the look of shock on your face, because he immediately starts apologizing.

“No, no! It’s fine!” you assure him, collecting yourself, “no, I don’t. I casually dated a couple guys when I was in college, but nothing serious.”

“Can I ask another personal question?”

“Sure!”

“Are you a virgin?”

The butterflies in your stomach immediately start in, your face turning beet red as you attempt to compose yourself to answer his question, “y-yes… I am. I guess you could say I’m picky. I want my first time to be with someone special.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Leon smile at you before focusing his attention back on the kitchen cabinets, “there’s nothing wrong with that, sweetheart.”

Him calling you sweetheart was nothing new, you had gotten used to the nickname but this time, he said it with very clear intention and it shot straight into you, causing your clit to pulse in arousal. You try your best to ignore it.

“Can I safely assume you’re not a virgin?” you ask him, trying your best to just focus on painting the wall.

Leon chuckles, clearly amused by your question, “no, I’m definitely not. You could say I’m quite experienced in the matter.”

You weren’t surprised, especially considering Leon is 15 years older than you, a fact you often forgot because Leon was just so easy to talk to and get along with. Your mind begins to wander, imagining Leon being the one to take your virginity, how good he must be in bed with all the experience he has. You immediately shake the thought, ashamed you’re thinking such lewd thoughts when he’s right there. In an attempt to distract yourself, you look around the kitchen as you roll paint onto the wall, your eyes settling on a calendar Leon has hanging on one of the walls, which jogs your memory of a town event coming up.

“Has anyone told you about our annual Harvest Festival?” you ask, turning your attention back over to Leon. 

“No they haven’t. What’s that?”

“It’s more like a carnival than anything, it’s an event we’ve had going in town since… 1947 I think… 40 years now, just celebrating the harvest and the coming of fall. There’s carnival rides, livestock and most importantly, food. You should check it out if you get a chance. It’s the last full week of October.”

“Maybe we can go together and you can show me all there is to see,” Leon replies as he hoists another cabinet onto the wall.

Your heart skips a beat at his response, “i-if you want to go together… we certainly can.”

“I’d love to go with you.”

“O-Ok…!”

Leon finishes getting the cabinet up, brushing his hands together before looking at his watch, then to you, “let’s stop for lunch, sweetheart.”

You finish painting the section of the wall you were working on before looking over at Leon, giving him a nod of acknowledgement as you set down the paint roller. You watch as Leon grabs stuff out of the fridge to make sandwiches: bread, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, onion and what had to be the rarest roast beef lunch meat you’d ever seen. Despite that, Leon made killer sandwiches, so you always look forward to having lunch with him.

Plus you were, you know, having lunch with Leon.

He sets the sandwich stuff down on a clean spot of the kitchen counter, turning to you, “go ahead and get comfortable in the dining room. I’ll bring the sandwiches in when they’re done.”

“Sounds good, I’m just going to hit the bathroom first, though,” you reply as you walk out of the kitchen. 

You pass through the dining room, out into a hallway, you walk by what you assume is the basement door on your way to the bathroom. You do your business and come back out, noticing on your way out that the basement door is padlocked shut. 

“That’s odd,” you say to yourself as you stop and look at the padlock. 

You look around the door but you don’t see any sign of the key, not even on the small table that’s next to the door, which is even more odd. You then make your way back to the dining room, where Leon is already eating his sandwich, yours set in the other seat at the small dining table. 

“Why’s the basement door padlocked?” you ask as you take a seat at the table.

Leon finishes chewing, nodding in acknowledgement of your question before he speaks, “there’s a lot of personal stuff down there, files and junk. Because I used to work for the government, there’s some classified files down there, too. I keep it locked just so that stuff stays safe.”

“Ah ok, that makes sense, sorry for prying. I just happened to notice it when I walked by, that’s all,” you reply before taking a bite of your sandwich.

“No need to apologize, it’s only natural for you to be curious.”

You take this quiet moment eating lunch together to really admire Leon, but discreetly. Today, he is wearing a tight fitting black t-shirt, which only accentuates his muscular body. Your favorite part of him, however, had to be those beautiful blue eyes. You constantly find yourself lost in them when you talk to him. 

He suddenly makes eye contact with you, giving you a playful smirk when he notices you checking him out. You squirm in your seat, your heart racing as his ocean gaze seems to peer straight into your soul. There is no denying it now: you are hopelessly in love with Leon Kennedy.

“Mom, Dad! I’m home!” you call out as you walk into the house from the door that leads to the garage.

Your mother looks over at you from the kitchen sink as she does the dishes, “hey there, sweetie! How was your day?”

“It was good!” you reply as you hang up your purse and denim jacket in a small closet next to the garage door, “I painted some of the kitchen walls while Leon got the new cabinets up.”

“Hmph!” you hear your father from the living room where he’s sitting in his recliner, watching the news.

You watch your mother let out a heavy sigh as she shakes her head. Looking to you, she mouths ‘ignore him’ before focusing her attention back on doing the dishes.

“It smells amazing in here, what are you making for dinner, Mom?” 

“Pork roast with potatoes, onions and carrots, sweetie. Figured that’d be a nice meal for a crisp day like today. Go ahead and relax, sweetie, I’ll call you down when dinner’s ready!”

About an hour and a half later, true to her word, your mother calls you down for dinner. At first, you all eat dinner in silence as your father reads the newspaper. An ad for the annual Harvest Festival catches your eye, reminding you of your conversation with Leon earlier that day.

“I was telling Leon about the Harvest Festival today,” you say, pointing out the ad in the newspaper.

“Oh, that’s right! Is he going to go, you think?” your mother asks.

“I think we’re actually going to go together,” you reply, your cheeks immediately start to turn pink as you shift in your seat.

“So, what? Are you seeing him now, is that what this is about?” your father growls, his eyes glaring at you.

“Wait-- what? No!”

“How old is he?” your father asks, his tone still angry.

“He’s… 36…” you reply, trying to avoid your father’s gaze.

“And you’re 21. Absolutely not, you’re not going with him and that’s final. In fact, you’re going to call him right now and tell him you quit--”

“Mick, you’re being ridiculous!” your mother cuts him off, slamming her fork down onto the table.

“I’m trying to protect our daughter! There’s a 15 year difference between them, that’s not acceptable!” your father argues back.

“Mick we’re 10 years apart, how’s that any different? She’s an adult, she can make her own decisions. How many times do I have to drill that into your thick skull, Mick?”

Your father grumbles, angrily stabbing his fork into the pork roast and taking a bite, aggressively chewing.

Your mom shakes her head, looking back over at you, “I’m sorry sweetheart. You absolutely can go to the festival with Leon,” your mother looks back over at your father, narrowing her eyes at him, “right, Mick?”

You watch your father roll his eyes before responding, “yes, dear…”

A couple days go by after you got into that argument with your father, but thankfully it’s business as usual. You wake up early as usual, getting yourself dressed and eating breakfast before you head out the door to go to Leon’s house. As you drive down Hemlock Drive, you notice the bursts of color on the trees changing into their autumn colors. It wasn’t quite peak foliage yet, you reckon about another week or so before that happens.

You park your car in its usual spot in front of Leon’s house, climbing out and approaching the front door. You simply open the front door and walk inside; Leon had told you that you were always welcome and didn’t need to knock. Upon walking in, you see Leon’s got his leather jacket on and that he’s packing a backpack.

“Whatcha doin’?” you ask, trying to look to see what Leon is up to.

“Good morning, sweetheart! Figured we’d do something different today; you deserve a break for working so hard,” he replies as he continues packing the backpack.

“Like… what?” 

“I was thinking we could do the Basin trail today, especially since the fall colors are starting to pop up. I’ve heard people in town talk about it and wanted to see it for myself.”

You swallow hard, your anxiety immediately heightened, “you… do know there’s something in the mountains that’s been attacking hikers… right?”

Leon stops, turning to you, giving you a confident smirk before opening one side of his jacket to reveal a gun holster hanging from his torso with a 9mm handgun tucked inside.

“I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

You give him a nervous nod, “i-if you say so…”

Leon gives you a reassuring smile before returning his attention back to finishing packing the backpack.

“There, bags are all packed and ready to go. I even made us sandwiches so we can have a little picnic in the mountains, doesn’t that sound nice?” Leon asks as he zips up the bag before handing it to you.

You grab the backpack, slinging it onto your back as you watch Leon grab the other backpack off the floor, slinging it over his shoulder as he gives you a wink, “ready to go, sweetheart?”

You follow him back outside, watching as he locks up.

“Are we taking your bike?” you ask as you look over to his motorcycle.

“No, we’ll be taking the Jeep,” he replies as he walks off the porch, turning to go to his Jeep parked on the side of the house; you follow close behind him.

He walks up to the passenger’s side door, opening it for you. You climb inside, slipping the backpack off your back and setting it onto the floor of the Jeep, as Leon climbs into the driver’s seat, putting on his seat belt. He turns the ignition and the Jeep comes alive with a low purr as you put on your own seat belt. 

“I hope Metallica is ok,” Leon says to you, smirking at you as he shifts the Jeep into first gear and starts driving.

As if on queue, ‘Master of Puppets’ begins to play. Metal isn’t exactly your thing, but the tune is undeniably catchy. As Leon drives you down Hemlock, you watch, almost hypnotically, as he shifts the Jeep from one gear to the next. The first thing you notice is you feel every single bump in this road; you find yourself grabbing onto the Jeep’s roll bar above your head to steady yourself. You think you hear Leon chuckle under the loud purr of the Jeep. 

Once on the main road, the ride was a little more steady, but not by much, you reckon that is just how Jeeps ride since this is your first time in one. Your gaze shifts from Leon’s hand on the stick shift, to out your window, watching the pops of color in the trees pass by, the sun finally cresting over the mountains. You suddenly feel Leon’s hand caress your thigh, causing you to jump a little as you look back over at him. He gives you a playful wink, his hand returning to the stick shift. 

Before long, he pulls into the trailhead for the Basin trail. The Basin is a rock formation formed by thousands of years of water running through it, first formed during the ice age; the erosion from the water making a natural, crystal clear pool. Parking the Jeep, he climbs out, putting on his backpack as he walks over to the passenger’s side, opening your door and letting you out. Setting out onto the trail, the two of you walk side by side, taking in the scenery as the two of you make small talk about what’s the next agenda in Leon’s house, the weather and even the upcoming Harvest Festival. You do mention your argument with your father, causing Leon to shake his head.

It doesn’t take long to come upon the Basin itself, you hear Leon let out a soft ‘wow’ as he approaches the large fence blocking off public access to the pool of water. You stand next to him, leaning up against the fence to admire the Basin. You’d seen it before, but it had been years since the last time you saw it; it is still just as beautiful and mystifying as you remember. 

“Cool, huh?” you ask.

“Very,” Leon replies, as he tries to nonchalantly reach over and snake his arm around your waist.

You feel yourself blush, but you let him, feeling him pull you closer to him as wraps his arm around your waist. For a few minutes, the two of you admire the Basin in silence, the sound of the water rushing in creating a sense of clarity. There is no doubt in your mind that you love Leon, and you’re starting to sense he feels the same way, or at the very least is attracted to you. From the corner of your eye you see Leon turn to you, a subtle smile forming on his lips.

“Can I kiss you?” he suddenly asks.

At first you weren’t sure if you heard him correctly, it takes you a moment to process it but when you do, your heart immediately starts racing. Turning to him, your face undoubtedly beet red.

You swallow hard, working up the courage to answer him, “y-yes… you can.”

Leon doesn’t hesitate, he shifts himself so that he has you pinned to the fence with his body, his hands gently cupping your face as he leans down, pressing his perfect lips against yours. It doesn’t take long for him to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping in to explore your mouth. You do the same, your tongues dancing around each other as Leon’s hands trail from your face, over your torso before finally resting on your waist. Meanwhile, your hands run through his blonde hair as you softly moan into the kiss.

The sound of a wolf’s whistle startles both of you. Leon stops, turning around to find two college aged boys, undoubtedly from Plymouth State University, staring at the two of you, snickering before they move on, walking in the direction that you two had come from. Leon lets out a frustrated sigh.

“We should get going, we can continue this later,” he purrs, looking back down at you and winking.

You nod as the two of you walk away from the Basin, Leon’s arm once again wrapping itself around your waist to keep you close. The two of you hike in silence, enjoying the sounds of nature. Unfortunately, the moment is soured when a powerful odor hits you like a ton of bricks, stopping you in your tracks.

“Do you smell that, Leon?”

“I do… I unfortunately know that smell anywhere. It’s the smell of death.”

You pace around, trying to ascertain which direction the smell is coming from, “you don’t think… it’s one of the hikers… do you?”

“Could be a large animal, but we better check it out, in case it is one of the missing hikers. I think it’s coming from this way,” he says, gesturing off the trail.

As you both start heading off the trail, into the woods with you taking the lead. The odor is becoming stronger and stronger as you go further away from the trail, a clear sign you were heading in the right direction. Coming up over a small incline, you see what you were hoping not to see at the bottom, a person. You immediately cover your mouth and nose with your shirt, the stench at this point overwhelming. As much as you don’t want to, you get closer, being careful not to slip and fall going down the incline. Leon catches up with you, still following behind you.

As you get closer, you can see the person is lying on their side, their skin an eerie white. From what you can see, the person has bite marks on their neck, much like what was described on the other hiker that was found. You look all around the person for anything that can identify them, your eyes finally settling on a ring that’s on their middle finger, your heart immediately sinking. You recognize the ring as your class ring, which can only mean one thing:

It’s Nate Dion.

His plan couldn’t have worked out any better. Not only did he successfully win over her affections, which he wasn’t concerned about, but stumbling upon the body in the woods was no accident. He led her to the body. He wanted her to see what he is capable of, how powerful he is, how he can provide for her. Obviously, she doesn’t know this, not yet anyway. Now is not the right time to show her, or to give her his gift. 

Unsurprisingly, she threw herself at Leon upon the realization that it was the chief’s son. And, of course, he would hold her, smirking down at the body as she cried into his chest. Now, they were back in his Jeep, driving back into Oakvale to the police station. He looks over at her, seeing how she lays her head against the passenger’s side window, her arms wrapped around herself. His jacket is draped over her shoulders. Reaching over, he rubs his hand on her thigh to reassure her. She places her hand on top of his, squeezing it in acknowledgement. 

“It’ll be ok, angel, we’re almost at the police station,” he says to her. 

He turns his attention back onto the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel like a vice as he struggles to get his primal urges to breed under control. Finally he pulls up on the Oakvale police station, parking in one of the spots and killing the engine.

“I’ll go in and let them know what we found, angel--”

“I’m coming with you. Please don’t leave me alone, Leon…”

Looking over at her, he gives her a gentle smile, “of course, let’s head inside together, then.”

He gets out of the Jeep, walking around to let her out of the passenger’s side, immediately wrapping his arm around her in a protective gesture as they both walk inside the police station. Both of them walk up to the reception desk.

“We need to see Chief Dion,” Leon commands, resting his free arm on the counter as he glares down at the receptionist.

The receptionist pushes her glasses up off the bridge of her nose, “I’m sorry, Chief Bob’s currently in a meeting--”

“Please! It’s urgent, we found Nate…” his angel suddenly blurts out, the panic clear in her voice.

“What!” the receptionist exclaims, looking over at her, “is he…?”

“Yes, he’s dead, just like the other hiker they found the other day,” Leon replies.

The receptionist immediately picks up the phone, dialing a number, “Chief, Leon Kennedy and Mick’s daughter are here, they’re saying they found Nate…”

The receptionist hangs up the phone, looking at his angel, then to Leon, before continuing, “he’s expecting you, please go through the door on the left over there. His office is the first one on the right.

“Thank you,” Leon replies before he walks over to the door in question, his arm still wrapped around her shoulders.

Upon walking through the door, Leon finds the Chief’s office, walking in with his angel in tow. As soon as they enter, his angel lifts her head to address the Chief. 

“I’m sorry, Chief… he’s… he’s…” his angel begins, but then immediately breaks down sobbing. 

Leon wraps both his arms around her, trying to comfort her, “he’s dead, Chief Dion.”

“God…” Chief Dion says, looking to the floor, his eyes darting back and forth in disbelief before looking back up at Leon, “if I pull out a map, can you point out where you found him?”

Before Leon can even answer, his angel replies, “I can Chief…”

“R-Right… I’ll be right back then.”

Leon watches as Chief Dion leaves the office. He coaxes his angel over to a bench on the opposite side of his desk, sitting himself and her down as he holds her close, running his hand through her hair to love on her; to entangle her into his web even more. Leon buries his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent deep before placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

Before long, Chief Dion comes back out with a map of the trails in Franconia Notch, rolling it open to show his angel, “sweetheart, can you point on the map where you found Nate.”

Leon watches her turn her attention to the map; she ponders for a moment before pointing to a spot just off the Basin trail heading West, “right about here…”

“Off the Basin trail?” Chief Dion says, perplexed as he takes the map, looking at it with an eyebrow raised, “how on Earth did he end up over there?”

Shit Leon cursed mentally, he hadn’t thought about where he had originally grabbed him from, no matter, it’ll be fine.

Leon watches Chief Dion grab his transmitter, pushing the button to speak into it.

“Attention all units, I need Police, Fish and Game and EMT at the Basin trailhead immediately. Nate has been located. He’s… he’s dead…”

Chief Dion turns his attention back to Leon, “would both of you be able to stay here until I get back so we can collect a statement?”

“Of course, Chief, not a problem at all,” Leon replies, giving the Chief his best, kind smile.

“Thank you, I won’t be too long. Hang tight,” Chief Dion replies as he leaves the office, heading out the door to the receptionist area.

Leon wraps his arms around his angel even tighter, adjusting himself so that she could relax in his embrace. He watches her intently as her breasts rise and fall with each breath she takes. He can’t help but smile down at her.

Once we’re done here, I’ll bring her back home, and make her a nice dinner. Then I’ll continue where I left off earlier. It shouldn’t be very difficult to get her into my bedroom and--

“WHERE IS HE?!” a male voice shouts from the receptionist area, breaking Leon’s thoughts.

“Mick, you can’t go back there! Get back--!”

The door suddenly bursts open, an irate man charging through and coming into Chief Dion’s office.

“You…” the man practically growls as he looks down at Leon, “you son of a bitch!”

“Dad, what are you--”

“What were you planning on doing to my daughter?! Lure into the woods so you can have your way with her and then ditch her somewhere?!”

Leon rolls his eyes as he stands up, coming face to face with his angel’s father, Mick, noting how his face is red in rage, “what are you talking about?”

“Working on the house my ass! What the fuck are you doing dragging my daughter out into the woods alone with you?!” Mick continues, “I knew something wasn’t right about you!”

“Dad come on, please stop!”

“No! I am doing what’s best for you, this guy needs to fucking go!”

Mick suddenly comes at Leon swinging, landing a couple punches into Leon’s stomach before Leon is able to dodge them. Leon is unphased by the punches Mick did manage to land. Mick continues his assault, one punch missing and going straight through the sheet rock in Chief Dion’s office. Mick takes a second to shake his hand off before he continues to launch punches at Leon. It is taking everything in Leon not to snap and attack Mick with the full force of his abilities.

Leon, finally having enough of Mick’s mindless flailing of his arms, curls up his fist and punches him directly in the center of his face, breaking Mick’s nose instantly. Leon watches as blood runs out from his nostrils, his pupils dilating as the smell of blood goes straight to his head. He can feel his fangs descend and he fights off the urge to feed as Mick tries to get his hands around Leon’s neck. Leon reaches up, trying to grasp Mick’s hands to pry them off, however he’s too inebriated by the sight and smell of blood to be able to pry him off. 

Chief Dion and several officers come through the door, the officers grabbing Mick from behind and managing to get his hands behind his back to handcuff him. Leon rubs his neck with one of his hands, looking down at his other hand, seeing faint signs of his black veins. He’s able to finally get himself under control, the black veins disappearing without a trace and feeling his fangs retract. 

“What the hell is your problem, Mick?!” Chief Dion exclaims, his voice filled with disappointment. 

“I am just protecting my daughter,” Mick replies, his angry gaze focused on Leon.

In that moment, Leon knows one thing for certain:

The father needs to go.

Part 4

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 43

PREV

FF is a pretty good student. Solid Bs in his Gen-eds and As in regard to his major. With one C+ that he’s still working on with Captain Neil but it’s higher than the D+ that he had been pulling before Captain Neil had started to tutor him and he really just needs to pass the one gen-ed required math class.

There was many a deep breathing exercise before he made an appointment with his educational advisor for the next semester back in October but it hadn’t been that bad even though she was the one that had asked if he knew anyone good at math since it obviously was not a strong suit of his. So he dragged his grade up from a D+ to a C+ and he was pretty proud of that.

FF has a preferred spot in each and every one of his classrooms. In his Gen-Ed courses he sits in spots that the Professors don’t even notice and where there is almost always a gap between him and the next person. He arrives perfectly almost late every single day for every single class he can to achieve this feat.

For his Major classes he sits near the front with the few Foreign Language major friends that he has.

FF likes to be prepared. Studying was a nice way to prepare for the future. If he’s already read the entire textbook front to back and taken notes then a pop quiz can’t catch him off guard. He double, triple, and quadruple checks homework. He could probably recite the syllabus for any of his classes off the top of his head. He has read it so much to make sure he’s gotten everything and is on track.

FF kind of likes finals week.

For once, for one week, everyone is as anxious as him.

He sits next to Nicky patting his back as his friend sobs into a pillow. “I’m not going to graduate and it’s going to delay seeing Erik by an entire year!” Nicky yells as he brings his face out of the pillow.

“Nicky, you only got one flashcard wrong how about you shut the fuck up!” Aaron yells from his desk where he seems to have spontaneously developed ambidextrousness as he writes notes with both hands. “Fuck I am NEVER fitting all of this one one index card.” Aaron slams his face into the table.

“I don’t even need this degree.” Matt says looking down at a textbook that he has not turned a page on for the last hour. The fact that Matt had also not even opened that textbook before now was a bit of a cause for concern. “I’ve already got offers for professional teams. I can just play Exy. I do not need to pass a workplace psychology course.” Matt says.

“You think Dan wants an idiot?!” Nicky demands not wanting to go down alone.

“She thinks it’s cute that I’m stupid!” Matt exclaims.

“No she doesn’t!” Aaron points at him, “She said and I quote ‘I love it when you use that big ol sexy brain of yours.’ the last time you had her on speaker phone!” he uses a slightly more…effeminate voice when he impersonates Dan but FF had spoken with Dan and to his memory she did not sound like that.

“Fuck you’re right she deserves an all rounder!” Matt cries, head in his hands.

“Why do I even have to TAKE this Gen-Ed about history?” Nicky demands now holding onto FF as if he were a teddy bear.

“So that we’re well-rounded individuals with a wider perspective on-”

“Smithy, my sweet child, I was not looking for an answer.” he feels Nicky’s hand come up to his hair and maybe he’s being treated more like a favored pet?

“You’re having trouble with a Gen-Ed?!” Aaron asks turning around in his seat, “That’s embarrassing.” he turns his nose up.

“I’m having trouble with something that is going to be useless in my adult life.” Nicky says as if he were not currently an adult. “You are having issues with a class that will have huge ramifications on your future if you don’t manage to learn it!” Nicky points out.

“Eat my shorts Nicky.” Aaron hisses.

“Maybe I could study if you would wash your shorts Aaron. I can smell your laundry pile from over here!” Matt spits.

The fight devolved from there and FF slipped out of the dorm as Nicky was holding a chair over his head to seemingly throw at Matt for his ‘unreasonable number of sticky notes messing up the flow of Nicky’s studying’.

He heard a crash.

“It’s probably fine.” he says to himself and he has his index cards with the speech he has to give for and he really should go over to talk with Captain Neil.

He walks to Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door and- “There faster-!”

FF walks away from Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door, remembering only in this moment that Kevin had declared that he would be “Living in the library until this paper is done or I am.” to the team at the last practice of the year.

Captain Neil and Andrew were never the type to waste an empty dorm room.

He misses Pepto Bismol as he hears a particularly dirty line of Russian coming from his Captain’s dorm room.

***

Eventually Finals week is done and dusted with only 4-5 more blow-ups in his dorm room that result in Nicky, Aaron, and Matt stopping their fight to see if they accidentally had knocked him out with all of the thrown debris (only happened once when Aaron threw a textbook that Nicky ducked but he didn’t.)

FF came out of his final…final feeling pretty good all around. He had managed to get some extra tutoring time with Captain Neil after Kevin managed to finish his history paper a little early. Despite all of their fears and complaints Aaron, Nicky, and Matt all did manage to pass all of their finals and their classes.

The Tower was closing tomorrow for the rest of the year and despite checking almost every day with Nicky he still was invited to go to New York City with most of the team to stay at Allison’s house.

“Smithy, did you pack a swimsuit?” Nicky asks.

“Nicky, we’re going to New York for Christmas break. Do you think we’re going to swim?” Aaron asks incredulously.

“Two words, my fetus of a cousin: Hot. Tub.” Nicky holds his hand up and putting one finger up and then another. “Is hot tub two words?” Matt asks as he reaches for his own swim trunks.

“Yes Matt hot tub is two words.” FF says nodding.

“Thank you Smithster.” Matt says.

“I can’t believe you don’t know that hot tub is two words.” Aaron says with a huff.

“I can’t believe that you don’t know how to not be an asshole even after you started getting regular sex with Katelyn.” Matt returns, “Look at how not a thing that was when Smithster answered it.” he gestures to FF.

“You cannot compare Smithy to Aaron. Apples and Tomatoes.” Nicky dismisses.

“Whatever, so Allison got a hot tub at her place?” Aaron moves past the conversation.

“Aaron you just made fun of Matt for asking stupid questions.” Nicky says with a hand on his cheek.

“I fucking hate being part of your family.” Aaron says without any real heat.

“Yeah sure.” Nicky says, rolling his eyes and smiling as he saw Aaron packing swim trunks that FF knew he had bought for his cousin.

“Okay, I’ve got the packing list that Allison sent. Do we wanna run through it so that we’re all properly packed?” Matt says holding up his phone.

“Yeah, let’s run through it.” Nicky says with a sigh.

They went through Allison’s provided list twice and then zipped up their suitcases. Smith was going to be driving to the airport with Matt. Neil and Andrew were going to be driving the Maserati up alone while the rest of them were going to be flying up to New York City.

Now onto something that filled FF with far more dread than simply passing tests that determined whether or not he continued to get a free ride in college.

Meeting new people.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

[radiant-reid]

Hot wife request:

A photo of Reid’s hot wife just walking down the street or grocery shopping or doing whatever goes viral online. He obviously doesn’t know cuz he doesn’t use socials. The team discusses this beautiful lady only to find out she’s Reid’s wife when she stops by with the glasses he left at home.

gosh i love how much y'all have gotten into this because me too

also, this is set with him ↓ but modern

It's not unusual for Penelope to send Morgan TikToks while the BAU is off working a case somewhere around the country. Usually, they're cute ones of puppies, other animals, or babies. Today, though, it's a video of her current favorite Tiktoker who she caught onto just as she started blowing up.

The it's.y/nnnn account now has 500 thousand followers, and Penelope might be one of her biggest fans. She found the account on one of the first videos Y/n posted, a highlight reel of her best pictures in October. From there, it transformed into her doing trends and talking about her fabulous life while maintaining a healthy balance of being real, an incredibly rare feat.

Morgan watches it immediately, understanding Penelope's next message- OH MY GOD!!!- when he recognizes the street and suburb 18th Street NW, Adams Morgan. It's a video review of a Mexican restaurant, one he and Penelope had been at a week prior.

JJ and Elle, sitting with him at the boardroom table, notice his amusement. "What is it?" JJ asks.

"Penelope's favorite TikToker lives in DC." He reports, handing over his phone so they can see the video and read Penelope's following texts voicing her excitement. "Someone find Reid so I can tell her how many people live in DC and that it's not that surprising."

"Wait, no, this is good," Elle tells him, taking the phone from JJ's hand and scrolling through some of the other videos from the creator. She's heard Penelope hyping this girl up, but she wasn't curious until now. "Do you know if she's... you know?"

Morgan laughs. "What, you're going to go and stake out the restaurant and then hit on her?" He asks.

"She's hot." Elle shrugs. "You would if you had a chance."

That offends him, and he scoffs. "I absolutely would have a chance."

"Bullshit." She calls. "She's too hot for you."

Playfully wounded, he places a hand over his chest. "I'm wounded. JJ, back me up."

JJ looks like she doesn't want to pick sides, but since he's making her, she's honest with her answer. "I mean, she is really pretty."

Determined to validate himself, he asks the next person that walks in. Unfortunately, that's Hotch who's forced to watch three videos. "Do you think she'd get with me?" Morgan questions his boss.

Hotch gives him a hardened stare. "I think you should do your work." He states firmly, in his scary tone, and takes a seat before adding his answer in a whisper. "And no, I don't."

He gives up after that, not wanting to damage his ego further, and texts Penelope that he, too, is very excited by the revelation.

Every morning, Penelope gives the three of them an update on any developments she's found out, and every morning Morgan and Elle compete about who would be able to land her. Hotch quickly bans her from misusing FBI technology to uncover any personal information about a stranger and forbids her from printing memos for everyone.

She almost faints when the Y/n gets out of the elevator one morning, having to pinch herself, take off her glasses, and put them back on to make sure she isn't dreaming or hallucinating.

When she determines she's not, she rushes over, not going to miss her chance. "Oh my gosh, you're you!" She squeals, clearly catching Y/n off guard from the way she jumps.

"I'm sorry, have we met?" Y/n asks awkwardly, hating when situations like this occur.

"Oh. Oh, no, but I'm a massive fan." Penelope gushes. "Your page is seriously my life goals. I'm Penelope."

She smiles gratefully. "Thank you so much." It feels weird for her to be recognized in public, especially when she's come to her husband's workplace.

It's then that Penelope notices the massive engagement ring on her finger next to the wedding band. "Oh my gosh, you're married?!" She asks excitedly, completely forgetting to ask a question about why an influencer is standing in the BAU. Y/n nods happily looking down at the ring. "To who?"

With near-perfect timing, Spencer walks through the glass doors and notices his wife and his colleague talking, frowning at them.

"Well, actually, to him." Y/n answers, nodding at her husband who's walking over to them.

"Hey, sweetheart." He greets her nonchalantly, coming to stand by her side and wrapping his arm around her waist. He then notices Penelope's shocked face, something he's never seen so intensely. "What's going on?"

She's practically speechless, but she doesn't need to speak when Elle, JJ, and Morgan turn up. "What's going on?" Morgan repeats the same question as Spencer, stunned like Elle is.

"Hey, I'm Y/n Reid." She introduces herself, shaking their hands.

"Wait, you have a sister?" Morgan asks. They don't look related but there's no chance in his mind that they're not dating.

Spencer completely misses the intention of the question. "No. Well, not that I know of, but I guess there's a chance I could have a half-sibling, but you'd tell me, right, Garcia?"

His wife rests her hand on his chest, signaling for him to stop while showing off her ring. "We're married."

"No shit," Elle remarks, raising her eyebrows.

Spencer's not only married, but he's married to a popular, stunning woman.

"Mhm." Spencer doesn't pick up on the looks being exchanged between the four of them as they try to work out how their relationship happened. She's model-level gorgeous, and Spencer, although they love him and know he's attractive, does not seem like he'd be her type. "I forgot my glasses." He informs them as Y/n takes them out of her handbag and gives the case to him.

"You've got to stay for lunch." JJ insists. "We have so such to ask you."

Morgan nods in agreement. "Like, if you weren't married to Pretty Boy, would you date me?"