#now to sweep

[itstimeforstarwars]

Spent 20 minutes cleaning which means that I am now about 10% more normal.

[suntails]

small world

[everythingisliminal]

I did it. I called my parents, told them they need to use they/them for me for us to have a healthy relationship, and it worked.

My dad said his love for me is unconditional and he's invested in getting this right. My mom asked in a strained tone how this affects my relationship with my husband, how she's supposed to refer to me with people in her life, etc. (best case scenario given how abysmal this convo went with her a year ago). And we ended it all with our life updates and "I love you"s.

Since it took a lot of research to find articles more suited to adult children coming out as trans/nonbinary, here's the list of (primarily non-aggressive) resources on terms and mindset I texted them in case they can help anyone else:

Itchy sweaters: An ally’s guide to understanding late-in-life pronoun and gender changes (new pronouns = softer sweater metaphor)

Your adult child just came out as non-binary. Now what? (terminology)

The Wonderful World of Gender: What It Means to Be Nonbinary (terminology)

What Does It Mean to Misgender Someone? (terminology)

8 Things I’ve Learned Parenting a Non-Binary Kid That Might Help You (acknowledges parent's emotional response)

Edit:

OMG Y'ALL MY MOM JUST TEXTED THIS

"I know I was quiet in today's conversation but you are my child and I love you and support you. I want nothing but happiness and a healthy life for you!!!😉😀"

[shelvesofsiddurim]

If you have friends who are Jews of Colour in LA or any other city where ICE is trawling through, check in on them. Ask them if they need a buddy to walk with to shul or if they need a place for Shabbat and follow through if they do need those things.

Don't leave them alone.

[clumsypuppy]

someone left me a comment asking abt my pokeask days so....... i drew my old muses ^_^

[intermundia]

btw i highly recommend smashing things in a safe and contained manner when you're upset. the instinct to rage and destroy can be sated by the sound of broken glass. find a place and a few objects to shatter, it's good for the soul. i just took a hammer to my ex's bong and i feel so much more normal now. you don't always have to be careful and precious with the world around you, you're allowed to destroy things too, i give you permission. violence can be healing when you're inarticulate with rage :)

[numbuh424]

since yall liked the quick drawing of older npa chief light, here's the full thing

[linkedin-offficial]

💌

[fisheito]

He's a magician

[masasiblingnaruto]

[suntails]

toot toot!

[paper-possum-party-pal]

Sketches of all the bbieal characters

More sketches of Baldi w/ some unrelated oc’s and KinitoPet

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Jax’s behavior is legit pretty fascinating

Yes it’s time I ramble about the purple twink.

Fast Food Masquerade did something crazy in that it actually got me to start empathizing with the asshole because Jax’s visible frustration throughout this adventure was too real.

And in fact, it’s why I think Jax was acting so “different” towards the latter half of the episode.

This adventure was Too. Damn. Real.

Now, Jax’s character is actually really simple. He even sums up his whole schtick in the pilot.

“I’m fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.”

Then in a hilarious bit of instant karma, promptly gets hit in the face with a gloink

The “-who aren’t me” part of that self description pretty much goes without saying.

Immediately after this happens, Jax’s little laidback exterior gets so rattled that he suddenly feels the need to take control and starts assigning tasks to everyone. And his casual attitude only returns once he feels like he’s not in any position for ridicule, by redirecting the potential for ridicule onto others. This is his defense mechanism.

Jax needs to feel in control, so he deliberately controls whatever situation he’s in to get the results he wants.

Something that I’ve always appreciated about Jax from a meta perspective is that he’s a character who actively moves the story forward, usually because he wants to satisfy his urge to create chaos.

And that’s the main thing about Jax, he’s really destructive.

Like…almost pointlessly destructive.

But, y’know what? It makes sense. Because he’s in a video game.

Where else can you be as needlessly and excessively chaotic than in a game where you can do pretty much anything because nothing is real?

Jax can hurt whoever and wreck whatever because if he’s living by video game logic, then there are no lasting consequences to his actions.

Jax even goes so far as to refer to Pomni, and by extension the other trapped humans, as a “character” in the pilot. Which goes to show how little he wants to consider them as people.

You can’t really hurt a character. And if used correctly, a character can be entertaining.

And that’s all Jax really wants out of his new life in the Circus, entertainment. Because the worst thing you can be while stuck in a game is be bored.

But of course, even in games, your actions have certain consequences that are just unavoidable.

And Episode 4 really beat Jax’s yellow teeth in with that not-so-fun little reminder. Because this bit right here

Pretty much was the precedent for how bad Jax was gonna get it this time.

And it all starts with Gangle absolutely refusing to let his usual bullshit slide by personally making sure that there will be consequences.

This is the first crack in Jax’s mask, he’s visibly concerned and annoyed that he no longer is allowed to be himself lest he risks getting punished. And even more baffling is that for the first time, Gangle asserts her power over him. She actually does something about his behavior, ripping the wind right out of his sails. Not only that but she continually enforces her authority, making it harder on him to get the upper hand again.

Now his interaction with Zooble is really interesting, because it’s the first time we see him at his most normal.

I don’t think he’s trying to tease them here, I feel like he’s genuinely curious about Zooble’s way of “playing” the game, because remember, it’s been a long time since they’ve been on an adventure together, if at all. Zooble’s excuse of wanting to avoid punishment makes sense because they witnessed first hand that Caine’s unstable personality is capable of some legitimate danger.

Of course, Jax believes that there isn’t any real risk involved. The only immediate menace to him and his current desire to just get through the day, is Gangle and her new mask.

At this point he’s not trying to be destructive or disruptive. He’s fully apathetic, because being forced to act like a minimum wage salary employee is not fun in the slightest. He can’t make things fun for himself, so he refuses to participate entirely.

As the clock mocks him with every slow tick, his mask chips more and more.

Jax isn’t saying this to be calculatingly rude or hurtful, he’s not doing this to upset Gangle. He’s being sincere, which is why he’s not smiling.

Because Gangle is much easier to push around and go along with whatever he wants her to do when she’s in Tragedy mode. She’s more “fun” that way.

In other words, he really hates this new dynamic they’ve got going on.

But this little comment, just makes things even worse for him because now Gangle goes from enforcing her authority to straight up abusing it by letting herself abuse him for a change.

It’s crazy how Jax’s main concern here is making sure this torture scene is just between them. He really hates being humiliated, more so than getting physically hurt.

The man has some serious issues, but c’mon we already knew that.

So Jax is finally getting a taste of his own medicine and it completely emasculates him. To the point where he just defaults to doing whatever Gangle tells him to do just to avoid feeling like that again. Now the mask is fully stripped off, he’s openly exasperated and powerless. On top of that he has no real impulse to ridicule or ruffle anyone’s feathers anymore, because for the first time in probably a long while, he’s even more miserable than everyone else.

And what does misery love?

Company

As someone who’s worked in retail for a while, nothing helps keep you sane more than having a little of bit of camaraderie when struggling to survive in corporate hell.

Something that really stood out to me in this episode is the limited use in background music, especially when in Spudsy’s, where you either get muzak to sell the ambiance of a public eatery or silence with the occasional machinery noise.

And yeah, that’d be enough to make shit as immersive as possible. It’s not a coincidence that the restaurant looks like a McDonald’s when Gooseworx even said it was directly modeled after it. It’s uncanny, how real this setup feels.

Uncomfortably uncanny.Jax seething at the clock is a relatable struggle.

The mask immediately comes back on once Jax no longer has any obligation to stick around.

But Jax can’t even enjoy his freedom. His day is officially over, but the sting of the experience still lingers. The adventure wasn’t just boring or frustrating, it was humbling, in every terrible way. This wasn’t a game, it was real life.

And I think the last kick in the teeth was this license plate waiting for him in the parking lot (Why did Caine make them drive “home”? That’s just extra)

One is the loneliest number

Jax doesn’t hide the fact that he’s an asshole, he’s almost proud of it. He practically relishes getting a rise out of everyone. He is well aware that nobody likes him, but I think this where he starts realizing that it actually bothers him.

Everyone has talked about that very brief moment where Jax’s expression changed towards the end of Candy Carrier Chaos, when Ragatha was talking about Kaufmo’s funeral and we get to see him actually get sad for a change, before immediately shaking it off and stomping away in irritation.

Jax showed no concern over Kaufmo’s abstraction in the pilot, so why would he feel sad about it in that moment? Does he secretly care about his fellow humans and just doesn’t want to admit it?

Maybe. But personally, I think the others choosing to morn those who’ve abstracted like they’re dead makes him seriously uncomfortable. Because it serves as a reminder that even in this world, there are still major consequences when some things aren’t taken seriously.

Jax doesn’t want to consider real life consequences. None of them even look like real people, so why should he bother treating everyone like real people?

So when he sees everyone else getting closer and being good to each other, it’s annoying and weird. The idea that they need to look out for one another feels pathetic. Treating abstraction seriously means it’s a real danger, and that would mean that he’s also susceptible to experiencing it one day.

And when you’ve built up a reputation over making everyone miserable, who’s gonna wanna remember you?

In a show that’s clearly all about building relationships, Jax’s destructive behavior is really gonna cost him.

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Domestic Witchy Things You and Solomon Do Around Cocytus Hall

Sweeping bad/negative energy out of the Hall.

Hanging bells on the front door knob to cleanse the energy when either of you enter.

Keeping a jar of water on a windowsill overnight during a full moon to charge it and make moon water.

Having a shelf of different types of spiritual waters, such as - moon water, rose water, sun water, florida water, etc.

Using florida water when washing your clothes to energetically cleanse them.

Turning a broom upside down when there are unwanted guests in the Hall.

Having a few pieces of paper with the names of people who have done either of you wrong in the freezer.

Having a pitcher of wild violet lemonade in the fridge.

Candles on the coffee table, candles on the mantle, candles in the kitchen. Candles, candles, candles!

Keeping a large stash of birthday candles for quick candle magic :)

Painting the front door purple.

Bay leaves everywhere.

Sigils everywhere.

Spiritually cleansing anything new either of you bring into the Hall (clothes, trinkets, etc.)

Using rosemary to smudge and cleanse the Hall (Cocytus Hall always smells and feels nice because of this)

Having a deck of tarot cards on the coffee table that are almost never in the box.

Clapping at random times to sound cleanse a room that feels off.

Keeping a large shelf packed full of magic books, boxes holding herb/crystal chip vials, and other little (or big) trinkets.

Putting certain crystals (like black tourmaline) in the corner of every room.

Making your own black salt.

Hanging wind chimes outside.

Stirring your intentions into your coffee/tea each morning together.

[blaithnne]

Ohhh so THAT’S why they call her Mum

[iceclew]

Well give the man a lute and let him sing, and I am sold, what else is there to say I ask?

Well, whoops this happened and I know EXACTLY WHO'S TO BLAME ON THIS.

@mechazushi ❤️

Kudos for always finding new brainworms to simp on 🥹👌

Well yeah now i ship them like feihbxiefhcbhxx..so what, we knew this would come.

Binged all the vids now, so I'm obsessed with em.