#now u know why i didnt comment on the actual fic chapter

[toodrasticallydumb]

@pinkytoothlesso11

AWAKEN CHAPTER 2 IS AMAZING AND ADORABLE AND JUST SO FUN AND CUTE THANK YOU TAKE MY ART I BEG OF YOU

THIS JUST MANIFESTED IN MY SKETCHBOOK I SWEAR, THE CHAPTER WAS JUST TOO GOOD TO PASS UP DRAWING MOMENTS FROM IT

[rollercoasterwords]

hi i would like to rant to u if thats okay because i saw ur rant u wrote like 6 days ago and it just kinda made me think so i hope u don't mind.

i love writing. i always have and when im writing i always get excited, except then i started posting on the internet. at first i got some attention which actually pushed me to write more and then i wrote this fanfic that blew up and got a lot of attention which dont get me wrong was GREAT like im proud of it, but it also changed my perception of writing

all of a sudden this silly little thing i wrote was now something people were talking about with their friends and reccomending and that was great but it made me feel different about my own work. it changed how i percieved writing, and more often than not i catch myself writing for them, not for me.

recently i started writing this fic that made me giggle and kick my feet while writing it. i wrote it SO fast because i could not get enough of it, and then i started publishing and it didn't get much attention. i've had other fics that didnt get attention before and it was like meh, but after the work i wrote that blew up, it felt like my fics NEEDED to become popular to be good, which is like,,, shit

and whenever i posted a chapter of my new fic or talked about it, i'd get comments on my fic asking about my popular one, if i'll make a second one ect.

it made me lose interest in my story because i'd gotton hooked on others approval and i didn't want to write something they weren't interested in, because then they wouldn't read it and it would all be for nothing.

i forgot the original reason i started writing. for me. and its been so hard to try and just get back into that headspace of writing for me and not others because of the attention i'd gotton from my previous stories.like how i felt now that i had a fair few followers i owed them stories THEY wanted to read.

i'm not sure how to get back into writing for myself, because i don't want to delete my works or stop posting, because i do enjoy it when people say nice things and help my motivation, but at the same time it also makes me feel like i have to write what they want and not what i want, because if i write it and they dont like it ive failed

anyway thats my little rant, i dont know if u even understand what im talking about but it was nice to get off my chest

thank you <3

no i feel u i can def relate 2 a lot of that experience! it can be a weird experience 2 have a fic go viral & it is definitely not always entirely positive. honestly think the only reason i've escaped a lot of the harassment + hate i've seen directed towards other people who have had fics go viral is that my fic that went viral was a rewrite of someone else's story, so most of the discourse remains centered around the original story + writer which honestly. feels like i managed 2 dodge a bullet lmao

but i can def relate 2 the sudden pressure of abruptly finding urself in a situation where tons of people are reading something u were just casually writing 4 fun, and suddenly feeling like u need 2 meet certain demands or live up 2 expectations. honestly feeling this pressure to keep up w those expectations led to some burnout 4 me last fall/winter, which is why i stopped posting for a few months. and like obviously i can't say what would be most helpful 4 u--that's something u kinda have 2 figure out 4 urself--but i do know that for myself + for some other writer friends who i've talked to, taking a break from posting can be really helpful in like...reframing ur mindset. i think getting some distance from the constant expectations + demands + feedback can help sort of clear the air and strips away both that pressure + that attention + sort of makes it easier 2 focus on writing just to write for urself. 4 me it helped me figure out that while i do love sharing my writing + getting nice comments + messages + talking 2 people abt it etc, that's just icing on the cake, and writing still brings me a lot of joy even without any attention. and once i was able to like...center that attitude + ground my writing in personal enjoyment rather than the online attention economy, it made me feel steadier abt coming back + posting again, and also helped get rid of some of the anxiety of meeting people's expectations, bc i realized that at the end of the day i genuinely don't really care if someone dislikes my story so much that they need to stop reading it; in fact, i think it's better for everyone involved if someone who feels like they're not getting what they want from my story goes and looks for what they want somewhere else! it's not a failure on my part to sufficiently like...entertain an audience or provide a product, because that's not what i'm trying to do in the first place, y'know? and i think that shift in mindset helped a lot, and continues to help when i start 2 feel that pressure again from posting my writing online. it's counterintuitive at first bc i think we're all sort of conditioned to think there's no point to making art unless you're making it for an audience, but once u realize that The Audience is not the be all end all of creating art, i think it makes the process of creation a lot more freeing + fun.

anyway hope u are able 2 navigate the weirdness that can come with sharing ur writing online + find a way 2 write that brings u the most joy!!

[pascal-oswell]

20 questions for fic authors

i saw ur tag in the morning when i woke up nessa and then i completely forgot. BUT THANK U FOR THINKING OF ME!!!! i don't really want to tag anyone bc its a bit scary. but eros and duo if u see this... perhaps this might interest u to do it

1. How many fics do you have on ao3?

46 ! and maybe like 20 which existed on ao3 at some point but got deleted by oj for one reason or another.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

96 365... the oj does not write long things

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly project moon these days. and mostly limbus bc (inferno pink grabs me by the throat)

if i didnt feel like it was pointless id probably write for a larger variety of stuff bc the oj brain is full of self insert stuff. but it doesnt rly matter

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the wine on your skin (137) gonna shrimp myself over that one bc it was my first and probably shittiest smut. but its smut in a large fandom (fire emblem) so it attracted people i guess

yeah dante's fine. what do you mean they're at -45 sanity you're lying (132) IM GLAD PEOPLE LIKED THAT ONE it was a lot of fun. and nice people cared about a dante centric fic with abnos:) (but also still mad as hell over that thing with the guy taking one of the concepts and clearly saying it was from another fic while categorically refusing to actually name it lol)

do NOT wake the manager up. YES they fell asleep on the job but they're REAL comfy right now do NOT disturb them (117) i can't tell if people get attracted by the funny titles or bc they see there are more characters besides faust and dante. bc i know people are NOT coming for them.

i'll always be there (104) a short manuleth fic... im glad there are manuleth likers out there. that professor loves that doctor ok

and they'll fall in love with her again and again (88) people liked the exploration of IDs... its kinda debunked now but it was still fun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I USUALLY DO unless i find the comment weird. but if its rly weird i usually straight up delete it lol but otherwise i reply to comment if only to thank people for taking the time to leave one. its a tough world out there for attention starved writer

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

id argue the angstiest i have is one of my deleted ones where i straight up killed a char and the fic was all about everyone else's grief it was depressing lol otherwise theres the obvious silver snow edeleth angst but its kinda whatever. the backward clock chapter of the dante abnos fic was rly good imo. the nothing there one too. the inferno pink confession fic too.... ough...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

SCORCHED GIRL & ANGELA FIC GOT ME FUCKED UP MAN. FOUND FAMILY BETWEEN THE FUCKED UP LITTLE GIRL AND THE ANDROID

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah. thank god i dont i think id nuke my ao3 on the spot i already explode over weird comment

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i smack my faust and dante dolls together

i used the be rly scared of smut now im a free little oj. it gets horny sometimes but also im rly vanilla so its usually very sweet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i dont. i should sometime though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW I THINK ID NEVER WRITE AGAIN OTHERWISE

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nay

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i dont think i could oj needs to write her thing in peace. art&fic stuff are rly fun though.. oj likes when duo art inspires her or oj text inspires duo...

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ALL TIME IS A TOUGHIE the ships come and go guys cmon. rn inferno pink is all the rage though. and me with all the ladies i like

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

funnily enough i dont rly have wips bc i only start things when im REALLY motivated and i usually dont write things long enough that id drop them mid way. so none

16. What's your writing strengths?

being straight to the point maybe. idk. i mean my whole style is about short sentences and descriptions and just giving enough to get the feelings and vibes and idk. like i dont spend a paragraph talking about the weather thats not my style.

i like to think im good at sounding like chars too. if its the chars i like at least. or i hope at least. maybe its all in my head.

17. What's your writing weaknesses?

im rly bad at writing things that require more description... stuff that i cant just move on from or write by sprinkling lil actions between dialogues... like say. a fight scene. im rly bad at it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean if the char actually speaks in another language usually and mixes it with the translated language or whatever sure. itd make sense i have no issue with it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

long ago i wrote stuff for shin megami tensei 4. but i think even before that i wrote lil danganronpa drabbles that never got posted anywhere. also technically i wrote a story about vocaloids for an english assignment in middle school. does that count

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

idk if its a favorite but im like. rly fond of "hello doctor, it's me again. i missed you." bc its the fic i probably put the most effort in. longest and multi chapters and like. id started writing it two years prior to when i finished it and id written like. a chapter and a half on paper during breaks in college and never did anything with it. and two years later when i was sorting my stuff i had these papers and wanted to throw them away so i was like ill type this out on puter at least before that. and then i ended up motivating myself to finish it and i was rly proud of it... oj is still rly sad it didnt get that much attention in the end.

otherwise oj rly likes her angela & abno fics:) shes happy with them. and also stuff ive written for duo! i think its cute and i had a lot of fun with them

[actualbird]

Oh man I wasn't expecting the dragon fic to get even better! My favourite morning fairytale is ramping up and I'm definitely not complaining.

No matter what lives they live Ria and Luke will never be able to cook properly before they start learning. How did Luke catch a soup on fire...?

I like how it's Luke this time who has the nightmares of the canon event instead of Ria. Just one of those things that are different yet similar in their different yet similar lives. Also I was going to make a looming nightmare pun here but I couldn't make it work so you get marginally more insightful commentary instead dryifdtud

Oh man when Luke realised his hands couldn't move I actually got worried for a second aha. It's definitely a Vyn move to be dramatic and ominous especially when he doesn't know Luke that well but also dammit Vyn why.

Nice owl motif reference, I always really like it when ToT fics make use of the boys' associated animals to describe them. It always feels like a nice small reference for fans who know about them.

I really wasn't expecting Vyn to be a fae what that's so clever???? Using the canon of him having changed his name to match the fae lore of names having power and thus them hiding their true names I honestly would never have thought about that. Does that mean Vyn still goes by Vilhelm here normally?

Luke being that one guy on dragon threads is absolutely accurate oh my god those questions I'm wheezing. What was going through Vyn's mind when he read those I really want to know now.

So I really like all the nods to the canon versions of these characters and how you use them in ways that make sense. Luke finding Vyn an easy person to vent to as a nod to him being a therapist in canon is so clever and I'm really looking forward to how many more references there'll be.

Ria eating a deer's heart sure is a strange moment for Luke to feel warm and fuzzy in his own heart but I'm not judging Luke you do you.

That's about it for my comments on the fic! I absolutely agree with that point in the author's note about Luke thinking like a hero. Having someone who thinks like that for a partner seems like you have an ideal partner on the surface but part of having a romantic relationship, hell of loving in general, is going through tough times together as a team and supporting each other. It's the trust to let yourself be vulnerable around your partner, and you won't get that with a hero type who solves everything themselves, and that can feel awful sometimes. Man, even when I don't go on character study tamgents in the main fic commentary your author's note finds a way to send me off on another one digdtif anyways!! Thank you for the delightfully long chapter, and I look forward to the next one! Don't worry about the longer wait between chapters, it's absolutely justified when the tradeoff is for longer chapters and a deeper au!

🌌

EYYYY, hi hi milkyway!!

thank u for reading ch2 of "yes, she’s my lover, yes, she’s a half-dragon. any more questions?" and HHRGHRH THIS COMMENT IS LOVELY, i owe u my life. im glad this cld be a nice morning fairytale to start off ur day :D

---

now to my thoughts on ur thoughts cuz i love rambling HAHAJHSFKJ:

how did luke burn a soup? well, it hasnt been completely talked abt in the fic itself, but i did slip in a little mention in this chapter that luke knows how to forge metals! in this au, ive got it in my head that luke has some pretty nice swordsmithing skills, it felt like a nice way to bring his canon skill of weapon-making and gadgetry into a medieval fantasy setting.

why did i bring that up abt his on-fire soup? cuz luke basically went about cooking the soup like how he heats steel in a forge when swordmaking. whoulda thunk that steel and soup are Not The Same

(i say this bit now cuz i rlly did have this whole backstory but it didnt fit with the sentence structure and of how i wanted to write that bit, so this is a behind the scenes exclusive i guess, HAHA)

-

luke in this au 🤝 mc in canon nightmares about death regarding the other

they all need therapy JHVSKJFSD

-

ngl, my desire to write vyn's Entire Thing is one of the key factors that made me restructure and further deepen this Whole Fic sjhfvjkskjVKJH.

my outline at first only had luke and mc, but that version felt so...empty. so i brought the other boys in, but their personalities are so distinct and itd be a waste not to give em each a fun little role in this medieval fantasy aaaaand, the rest is history.

keep an eye out for who the nxx boy of chapter 3 will be >:3c

i had so much with vyn btw. i knew he was a fae from the moment i brought him into this fic and tried my best to like, foreshadow it but only truly go HUZZAH, REVEAL! at that one line

the owl thing was fun to do to, im a sucker for like...giving magic a tangible image to draw the sensation out from. cuz magic (sadly) doesnt exist!! how tf do i describe it!!! with OTHER THINGS

and it's always been my modus operandi to make magic feel like different things based on who is using it. it's kinda like how i feel abt writing, in a sense? theres a set list of stuff it can do, but the intent and style and how it feels differs for everybody

HEHE, the name thing was what made me wanna make vyn a fae here in the first place!! and as behind the scenes commentary once again, i think he does still go by vyn. it's not his "true" name but i figure he still likes it better. plus, it gives him some more protection, since saying a fae's name shifts the power away from the fae in question and onto the speaker

and vyn? giving control to somebody else? oh he'd rather find a ditch to go die in JHVSKJDFHJ

-

i adore luke and he is so intelligent but that does make me wanna nerf him sometimes, esp when hes more focused on His Beloved and is wracked with worry jshfvkjs. his braincells took a vacation, he just wanted all the answers and he is new to this entire environment

vyn, reading luke's letters: oh this poor thing needs to learn how the magic community works or else they'll eat him alive

-

me: hehe references go BRRRRRR

im so glad u enjoyed that tho, it's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine to be tongue-in-cheek abt the 4th wall whenever it can be entertaining ajhsvfkjashfja

-

love is stored in the "watching ur dragon!gf absolutely go to town munching on a dead deer while eating the dinner she made for u that is delightfully Edible" <3!!!

-

im SOOO GLAD U ENJOYED my little character thought in the author's notes huhu. i am Incredibly Passionate about dissecting luke's character and it just delights me to no end that many traits that make him strong are also the same traits that can be his downfall

cuz idk, i figure character traits arent inherently good or bad, they become good or bad based on situations. him thinking like a hero when he was alone was alright, but now that hes got somebody who loves him and wants him to be here with her, he cant think like a hero anymore. at least not with her. he has to think like a partner for all the reasons u so wonderfully articulated hhHHHH!!!

im so emotional about luke and mc so much all the time, basically

---

thank you so SO much for this in depth comment!! and also for ur reassurance that wait-time is okay huhu, that rlly soothes my soul since ive got big damn anxiety abt wait-timez.

that being said, im raring to write ch3 HAHA but i have to wait until im a bit more rested cuz...i am SO SLEEPY TODAY for staying up late last night KJAHSVFKJAS

[checkers-dance]

anyway after that we ended up talking about nct AND THIS LEADS ME TO THE FICS I WAS GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT BUT FORGOR. anyway, i was telling noxia abt how i remember discourse over the johnny/mark ship because people thought they "acted like brothers." so we ended up watching a video compilation of them (ill admit, i think they're kinda cute, they have this very dudebro x dudebro dynamic that i find really amusing). we read the comments and people are like genuinely terrified of admitting they like the ship its so fucked up 😭

so i got curious. i wanted to know if anyone had taken that idea and played with it. and yeah there were some incest fics IVNFJNJFNV. there was this one where johnny and mark hadn't seen each other and then when mark was asleep Stuff Happened. kinda messed up. and then there was another fic inspired by that one where the same thing thing happened but mark woke up and then they consensually fucked. good for them. im kinda obsessed with that idea ngl VBFJVNFJ.

anyway there was also some incest play so like not actual incest but still fun.

BUT THEN THERE'S THESE TWO THAT IM KINDA GENUINELY OBSESSED. BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETED AND IT MAKES ME CRY, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

so the first one is this omegaverse fic where johnny goes in a rut at the same time mark goes into heat and bro. BRO. im such a fan of siblings doing stuff impulsively and then regretting it immediately and thats exactly what happened. neither of them were thinking straight so the next day they are both disoriented and confused and they both feel awful ITS SO GOOD, I NEED INCEST WITH GUILT AND COMPLICATED FEELINGS. but the fic hasnt been completed yet, and it was posted last year... im so scared it may never come back. i think im probably gonna dowload it just in case it gets deleted because i would not be able to handle it, im so attached.

AND THEN THE OTHER ONE.... i didnt think i would enjoy it much because it was dadson but bro. the writing is so good and the dynamic is so interesting. so basically mark is johnny's kid except he didnt know because it happened when he was a young teen and the mom never told him and gave up mark for adoption and its only now as an adult that hes making effort to contact his biological parents. (actually they meet when mark is like seventeen but they dont actually start interacting properly until mark is an adult). anyway, his adoptive parents turn out to be shit and they kick mark out because they find out hes gay. and also his ex was a dick and they broke up. he moves in with johnny and bro. they are so sweet. like they have this really interesting dynamic where they have a really cute familiar bond but then they also have a clearly romantic/sexual thing for each other thats also really loving and caring. BUT johnny isnt as happy about it as mark is because he wants mark to have a normal life eventually. but then he also indulges both mark and himself and then pulls away so mark is rlly messed up about it and it all ends up leading to this really bad argument between them. and then when johnny comes home mark is fucking GONE, HE LEFT, AND THERE'S JUST A NOTE TELLING HIM HE'S LEAVING, AND JOHNNY HAS NO IDEA WHERE HE IS. WHEN I TELL YOU I FELT PHYSICAL PAIN READING THAT, I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THEN THIS HAPPENED, NOOOO. AND THATS THE LAST CHAPTER... THE FIC HASNT BEEN FINISHED YET.... IM SO FUCKED UP ABOUT IT.

NOOOOOOO NOT BOTH OF THE FICS BEING UNFINISHED.....AND THE CLIFFHANGER TOO....why are u so unlucky when it comes to this 😭. I hope at least one of them is continued. Also yes, please download the fics, it would be devastating to have a repeat of the jackson/jooheon fic deletion situation

And gjskfksjf, it seems like the discourse over this ship has spawned a lot of fucked up ideas in fic, I love that. The dead dove writers always win in the end <3

But hmmmm....dudebro4dudebro.....I was going to compare them to jookyun but I don't think either jooheon or changkyun can rlly be considered dudebros 😭

[nyxyooni]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works

Tagged by @i-like-plan-m, callan, why do u do this to me this year has not been my year haisbwiebajavakkakaja. n e ways

1. To Belong, To You

so this is my longest fic ever (it’s still not done tho). its also my first work in the mdzs/cql fandom. it started off as a joke and then sort of blew up? i still love it tho and recently i went back and revised/edited it (up until chapter 5) so that it flowed better. even tho its really self indulgent and doesn’t make much sense in some parts i do love it. i also have so many people supporting me, i love this fic and the love it brought me

2. Alice

OKAY. so u know how some people ship sizhui/jin ling? yeah well i don’t really see it? BUT you know what i do see?? jin ling/jingyi. so after looking for the tag and finding a surprising lack of fics i put my foot down and wrote something. it was fun. it’s also my second work in the fandom ha. again, really self indulgent and even if it doesn’t seem like it (because its mainly just smut) i wanted to write a more grown up and mature jingyi/jin ling dynamic. i’ll explore it more when i write another fic.

3. Heart-Shaped Box

now we move into a different fandom because im an army and im a slut of yoonkook and unhealthy/lovable relationships. so i wrote this. there were so many fucking twists i didnt know where it was going even tho I was the one writing it. it was also the first fic i got my first long comment on. i had actually planned to make it something sweet and non ship dynamic fic but it somehow ended up being what it was. the people who read it enjoyed it and i had so much fun writing it!

4. Remember Me, Even When You’ve Drowned (and decayed)

okay. so this is my second work in the voltron fandom, its a dying breed but also people need juice so i provided. my plans for this fic r a lot more serious than the other fics ive written. its been a while since i updated it but i like it. its got a darker theme, sort of like the one above but its plot is more complex, i have footnotes in my head for it and when i feel inspired i’ll continue it. it’s also a chance for me to be more realistic about a lot of things, especially culture wise. seeing as most people in the voltron show aren’t white. and as a person of color, a latina/hispanic, i wanted to give people in this fandom some actual hard facts when it comes to lanitx/hispanics who grew up or are born in the u.s.a. its mostly from my point of view and research but there should some solid things about it. as well as mental illness because i don’t really like how some people write anxious or “meek” people, since im a person who doesn’t talk a lot i don’t like it when people write it as a personality trait or something that’s applied to a sex dynamic.

5. kill it (before it kills me)

LISTEN. this is the peak of all my fucked up fantasies. its a bjyx work. do u have any idea how much fucked research i did on torture???? i have notes!!!1!1! like irl fucking nOTES. also ✨murder husbands✨ i also love this fic because i love exploring the darker part of my one brain, most of the things that will happen in this fic are manifistions of my intrusive thoughts. i also love exploring the “right” and “wrong” side of morals and how humans interpret that and the way the decide which is which. it’s started off a joke, again, but while working on the second and third chapters it became more heavy, i’ll be taking it as far as i can, as im not the best when it comes to writing my own thoughts. there’s also sex and more sex :).

tbh. a lot of these fics have sex in them. 4/5 have sex in them :))))) and a lot of them are...... questionable...... anywho i’ll tag @corzev and @sunflowergalaxy-hide also @scribespirare

[annqbthchse]

🍓 👉👈🥺

Hello Cecília! when I got this notif I was surprised that YOU wanted a compliment from ME???? wHY??? have you met you???? but sure ok, I am very happy to oblige so you better get READY for what I have to say

OK so, the first post I saw from you this year was your SGE x HSM au, as someone who went through a HSM phase and had Zac Efron their first-ever celebrity crush,,, it. was very close to my heart. THEN you go and start to post a fac fic for it???? THEN YOU HVAE THE AUDACITY TO MAKE IT A FUCKING SHOWSTOPPER???? it's very rude and I will never forgive you for making my 14yrld dreams come true. that chapter when Agatha meets tedros at the party and he immediately simps. that was me reading it. automatic simp. idk how I’ll ever repay you for that. I probably never will but you know what?? ill spend my entire life trying to if I have to. IYNTB was the first-ever actual fic I ever read from you and that was years ago and yea it's a fandom CLASSIC I TELL YA and when YOU REWROTE IT earlier this year? I was so woefully unprepared to be able to see it. to be able to be blessed AGAIN. pls no that even when I first read it so many years ago, it never left my mind which is why I was so stunned when you rewrote it and it was BETTER? no that's not allowed here ma’am

your Nicola and hunter post??? YEA THAT'S SOME TOP NOTCH, A+ LEVEL THINKING I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW DETAILED IT WAS AND YEA HUNTER RIGHTS MF. if anyone ever dares says another bad word about nicola i’ll just point them in that posts direction because it says EVERYTHING. you basically wrote a rewrite of TCY and as expected it was everything. and the PJO, again, the amount of effort, time and thought you put into it is something I can genuinely only dream about doing. and that tagatha dating simulator au, it was basically like a mini fic and I genuinely don't know how you thought of it. I've said this before but your dreams HAVE to premonitions from god. that's the only answer. basically, your brain is spectacular and every time you say anything you are correct and we stan. the amount of small intricate details you put into your works is SHJDRGH every time I'm about to lose my mind because of how genius it is. The way you can write something such as first and always and then CMG. the smut to fluff switch, WOW only very talented people can do that.  yea, when I die, don't even put my name or birthdate on my gravestone, I just want that fic there, every single chapter, every single word just perfectly engraved right there. please. the way you interpreted the prompts and how they’re all linked and there's a timeline. SHDBHDJSG  does your brain ever hurt from how big it is???. every time you post a chapter, I go through all the chapters again but in order of the dates because it just makes it all that much better and AHSDG I just love it ok. First and always was written SO WELL!!! it was smut but yea it was cute and sweet and ty for being the only one brave enough to finally do it. we’re all just cowards livin' in your pioneering shadow. 

AND YOUR DRAWINGS. every time you post one I'm in AWE, they look so professional and it's very unfair that you can write as well as you do AND draw. we call that fucking talent in these neck of the woods sir. and you design buildings for college while doing all this??? How?  in my first week last semester my only assignment that week was make a meme and I struggled to get anything else done that week (I DIDNT EVEN fucking make the meme - my brother just sent me one) 

now I'm done simping over your content, let me simp over you :D you have this very sophisticated, witty type of humour and let me tell you,,, it's fucking great. every time I see a comment of yours on whatever post it may be, the compliment is always so creative and just f u n n y ok. you’re just so cool. when I'm 19 I hope I can be as cool as you (probably won’t happen tho it'll take too much time). but you also seem so sweet, supportive and kind. you just seem so confident and you’re also so pretty!!  and I have to apologise for being so awkward and you having to deal with it. but you're a queen. Honestly. every time you come up in my notifs its like getting the seal of approval from God and it just feels so good so ty for that! I also get very surprised because,,, WHY???? 

basically, I want your mind and your talent pls and stop being such a nice person, its too much Cecília

Have a great day and I'm sorry this took so long! <3.

[blatherkatt]

i just started reading your blumenthal kids reunionfic and i LOVE IT! Its so good and so full of potential and angst and I LOVE IT!!!💞💞💞 The way you write Eodwulf is soooo good hes such a mess and so gay help him. and Astrid Omg... I cant wait for more of her i checked out some of your posts on here and shes just great??? You've clearly put a lot of thought into them with the child designs and stuff, did you have any major inspo for the two of them like songs or other characters and stuff???

hey tumblr dont…delete part of my answer what the heck

anyway!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, ed ( @tactfulgrimalkin ) is the one doing the actual writing but we plan everything together and i edit and do artwork so he deserves lots of love for the great writing…i dont remember what else i had here before tumblr deleted it so i hope thats the gist of it 

eodwulf is a gay disaster of a bastard man and astrid is SO fun and im SO GLAD UR EXCITED TOO BECAUSE WE SURE ARE

anyway you just opened pandora’s box and i’m very sorry for the length of the rest of this answer but here we go prepare for some cursed content necessary to answer that question ( | ) w ( | ) it was a Wild Ride getting these two characters to where they are boy howdy 

so the thing is in order to explain how we created these characters i actually have to get into the origins of the fic on the whole because the two are inextricably linked, and also, the origins of this fic are incredibly cursed and you can send all ur hatemail right here go on blast us we’re ready 

but we were talking about caleb and how we’re both excited for whenever astrid and eodwulf turn up, and the thought came up for basically the rough skeleton of that scene in chapter 2: 

“hey how messed up would it be if instead of them both hunting him down like we’re expecting…one of them comes in with a huge savior complex and sincerely thinks he’s delusional and should still be in the asylum, how MESSED UP would that be” 

…and then shortly after that, this happened 

thats the cursed part dont say i didnt warn u but listen you know we’re right

also that pic of caduceus didnt exist back then i went back and got this screenshot just to share the curse with you all

ANYWAY

in classic us format we got carried away and eodwulf got slotted into the role of that scene in chapter two and his character was largely developed around that scene, like, what kind of person would still be clinging to caleb after all this time to that degree to make that happen? and what was come up with was an extremely avoidant person clinging to a fantasy version of things wherein they don’t have to fight

(eodwulf was developed into a Person before astrid, i should note at this point, and ed did most of that developing; i took point on astrid later on)

but around this time i went “screw it im gonna do some concept art we’re both in too deep now” so here’s some of that for u guys 

started with them all as teens and did a couple sketches as well as one of baby (well. teen. so baby) caleb/bren/we were calling him felix at the time as some of u probably already know 

first draft had astrid with longer hair than eodwulf lmao check this out 

flipped the hair length on those two which was for the best because at the time we were imagining eodwulf as a bit more mischevious which is another thing that got reversed over time now astrids the prankster and eodwulfs the overworked mom friend because bren takes astrid’s ideas and makes them SO MUCH WORSE but he still looks better with longer hair and then i played around w/ colors for a while and wound up w/ this

voila, the initial kid concepts, to which subtle yet vital changes were  made after time. if any of you are curious about if im frustrated that that’s still the best i’ve ever drawn eodwulf’s nose the answer is yes. yes i am. 

astrid’s hair is not messy enough, theres not enough freckles, and she does not look ready to fight the entire world for a dare. 0/10. 

anyway then i did adult versions which look WAY OFF NOW LMAO 

eodwulf with way too much beard, looking far too messy when he ought to look very clean so that he can hide how much of a disaster he actually is, and also a glimpse into the very boring Ice Queen/Heartless Bitch we vaguely had astrid as to start with. even more out of character tho is the earring, astrid as she is today would absolutely never tolerate an earring unless she absolutely had to, girl’s got sensory issues but she didn’t back then. ALSO STILL NOT ENOUGH FRECKLE 

anyWHO a while after this it was decided that eodwulf has ADHD, something both the authors have a whole lot of lmao, and that was the point where ed REALLY took off and developing eodwulf went out of control and we both went Well I Guess We’re Gonna Have To Write This At Some Point Now

and with that happening is when developing astrid took more priority i think, because man, at that point in the game she came way too close to that really  annoying trope that shows up in fanfic a lot wherein The Girl is A Bitch who is Getting In The Way Of ~*The Yaois*~ and thats like, thats bad. we knew from the outset we were absolutely not setting this up as a love triangle because we both hate those but even w/ her having no romantic relationship to either of the two, like…she was kind of just There and the one who was most loyal to trent (the only thing of her original characterization that really stuck, honestly) and sooo boring???? 

so like, and i say this honestly, i managed to COMPLETELY FORGET that “reverse sasuke” cursed comment from the beginning of all this and STILL go “well what if we made her more like caleb’s rival that’d be fun” 

and that’s how astrid sorta wound up accidentally morphing into the Scrappy Underdog of this anime trio and calling her a naruto analogue is extremely cursed but also not inaccurate tbh 

started out with the concept of her popping into bren’s window because she heard they were doing magic and wanted to learn it too and evolved from there; we decided that she was gonna be neurodivergent too but, hilariously, initially that she was “the best at pretending to be neurotypical” (WE COMPLETELY REVERSED THAT AND IT IS FOR THE BETTER. SHE’S SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW) and made her also autistic because it one meant she could be like SAME HAT at bren really hard which’d make her feel more like part of the group instead of just the odd one out, and two because it fits with the whole rivals thing

branching off of that we made her just. INCREDIBLY direct. like. astrid’s thought process is “how can i accomplish what i want accomplished with the smallest number of steps? what are the consequences of doing it this way? do i give a shit? no? im gonna do that.” 

(which is why she climbed a tree to get into bren’s attic instead of using the door because that way she just completely skipped having to convince his mom to let her in)

i cant get into it much here because so many spoilers and we’re gonna explore it all, but like, astrid’s backstory turned into this exploration of the intersection of sexism and ableism especially as applied to a medieval-esque society in which the word “autism” doesn’t even EXIST and in which a convenient double standard exists Right There in the form of bren and like,, its gonna be good guys im excited for it 

as far as characters tho she does also have just a touch of Vimes from discworld to her, albeit like, she’s lawful evil to his lawful good, but she’s got the same tendency to stick REALLY FIERCELY to the rules that she thinks are important, even when they inconvenience her, even if it’d be so much easier to bend them just this once 

and for songs i cannot link like any astrid songs because they all might accidentally give away so much BUT I CAN LINK AN EODWULF SONG 

this one was HUGE for him 

uhhhh i think that’s everything i can think of that we can say right now unfortunately so i’ll end this with a comparison to the current teen designs we have now that are being used in the actual fic, even tho im not fond of how bren came out in this picture, but like, for the sake of comparison 

lets see how far we’ve come 

I N C R E A S E    F R E C K L E 

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 5]

I can’t fucking sleep. Have more of this nonsense.

Same warnings as before (rape references, some more consensual sexuality that stops shy of actual sex). There’s also a brief mention of self-harm at the very end of the chapter.

Recap: Tiaa went to the beach party, which was boring, but she did meet a few creatively-named goth girls who think she’s cool, so now she at least has friends. Also she and Edward almost had sex but didn’t because it was only chapter 4.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

AN - can i have some reveiws pls

Here you go!

Chapter 5 - the talent contest

It was a week later and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. 

Relatable, but why?

My life had crumbled into pieces and I was alone in the horrible darkness of my mind. 

At least it’s nice and empty in there. Plenty of room to stretch out.

the four chearleaders had folowed me a round school and been mean to me for the last week making fun of my clothes and my purple streaked blond hair and saying i was too slim and that i had boobs like a pron star. 

Okay, fine, I’m going to comment on the cheerleader thing. Look… Bella being a cheerleader makes negative sense. Her main character flaw (according to Meyer, anyway) is being so clumsy she trips over flat surfaces. She doesn’t possess the coordination necessary for anything physically demanding. Also, she’s explicitly described as being nothing like a cheerleader in the first Twilight book, if memory serves.

It relay upset me. and also uncle larry had taken my clothed off and rapped me loads of times last week and even though dave and marie were back home now every time they went out to different places they left me with him and he hit me and made me sleep with was so horrible I wanted to die every time it happened.  

Don’t know why this is presented as a secondary concern to being picked on by cheerleaders.

Is there a reason Tiaa can’t tell anyone about what’s going on with Uncle Larry? Like, I can think of a lot of potential reasons why she might not be able to seek help here, but we aren’t given any reason, so it’s a mystery. Also, is she at risk of becoming pregnant, or contracting an STI, or is she being hurt badly enough to require medical attention? This guy is pretty violent and persistent, but her encounters with him are barely described at this point, so we don’t really know what’s been going down.

Which is probably a blessing.

Edward Culen stared at me whenever he saw me at school but i just anchored him and pretended he wasnt there i was so embaresed about watt had hapenned and I hated him for the way he made me feel and the fact that he was a cheater and an ass. 

Yeah, he’s like that.

I would probably have ended my life that week if it hadnt been for my lovley new freinds abbigaille rochelle and tyfanni, who were all totally cool and helped me fight off the evil chearleaders - i hadnt told my freinds aboit uncle larry and ewdard but it was nice to have some peopel who liked me anyways. 

Hold up a second. There are four cheerleaders. Counting Tiaa, there are four goth girls. So why is this portrayed as some sort of unequal battle? Both groups are the same size, and I assume Tiaa’s group has an edge because she’s a Mary Sue and the Sue always has an edge, so… why haven’t they sent the cheerleaders packing yet?

I wasn’t really picked on in high school, but I was picked on lots in middle school, and it was always about numbers. I didn’t have any good friends to back me up, so I was an easy target. If it was just one kid going after me I could hold my own just fine, but when I got ganged up on there was a problem. Having a few losers hurl insults at you when you have your own crew of losers to back you up isn’t a bullying problem because there’s no power imbalance. It’s just kids being rude to each other. It’s certainly not on par with, let alone worse than, being raped by an adult man when you’re sixteen.

I sat in the cafeteira with them at lunch

"hey tiana are you doing the talent contest tonite?" rochelle asked me

Oh boy. 

"no way im not good enough!" i said shyly

"omfg are you kidding! yor a AMAZIN singer your the best iv'e ever heard, no joke!" shouted Abigail 

So I only vaguely remember the talent show, but I’m pretty sure what happens is that Tiaa does compete, and she wins, and Edward loses his mind over it or something. I seem to remember an encounter in Edward’s car after the talent show, too, but we’ll get to that when we get to that.

"thank you but your just being nice, im' not THAT good an even if i was i wouldn't perform. I mean i hardly want to contract more attension to myself than i already have, the whole school is all ready talking about me saying watt a freak i am. I just wanna be an average person"

"come on tiaa you HAVE to do it!" tyffanie said, "jessica and bella and the chearleaders win every time with there dumb dance routine it is so annoying, they arent even talented someone needs to teach them a lesson hun!" 

"I dunno maybe" I pimpled mutely but I had no intension of actually doin it.

I feel like I’m watching a made-for-TV teen movie on Disney Channel, except this one has a lot of rape in it and also the love interest is a vampire. And the protagonist pimples mutely, whatever that means.

Later on me and my freinds sat in the crowd and wached the contest. The chearleaders did there dance ruotine and they werent that awesome, they were just wearing slutty cloths so all the guys could stare at them and cause they were popular no one was allowed to say they sucked. 

On the bright side, at least Tiaa’s competition is bad so she doesn’t have to be unrealistically amazing in order to win here. On the not-so-bright side, we all know Tiaa is going to be unrealistically amazing anyway and that Bella and her friends are being made to look bad in order to ultimately break up Edward and Bella’s relationship.

At the end bella ran into edwards arms and I felt flames of jelusy burning up inside me. they kissed for a long time and although he looked at me the whole time i still wanted to cry and scream.

I would too if a guy I didn’t know that well stared at me the entire time he was making out with his girlfriend. Fuckin’ weird.

The principal caked up on the stage and said

Hang on. He caked up?

"and now for our final act...atlantiana rebeckah loren!" everyone looked at me and I was shocked

"omfg who put my fringing name down for this!" I screamed

"who knows girl just get up there !" abbie pushed me towards the stage and I went up there.

Edward put her name down for it, right? I mean, I’m guessing from context that it wasn’t one of her friends who did, even though they all encouraged her to perform. If it was Edward, though, what did he reckon she’d do? Her friends at least have heard her sing, but as far as Edward knows Tiaa’s only talent is… looking pretty, I guess.

I sang total eclipse of the heart (punkrock verson so it wasnt sappy and lame or anythin!0 and everyone watched me. I was embarased at first but everyone semed to be enjoying themselves (exept the chearleaders who looked totally mad!LOL) so I sang louder and louder and my voice soared higher than ever was like magic. 

Or something.

I was waering a purple lacy top cut low enough that you could see my bra and a black skirt and purple fishnets and spiky black heels. 

I mean, sure, but you just criticized the cheerleaders for dressing in revealing clothes a few paragraphs ago.

the song finished and everyone looked happy and clangled at me and i went blushing to sit on my friends

They clangled? You went to sit on your friends?

"remind me to kill wichever one of you beeches put my name down for this!-" i said but i was smiling

"LOL" shouted rochelle "it wasnt us you no!”

Yep, it was Ewdard. 

"and the winner is...ATLANTIANA REBECKAH LOREN! " the principal screamed extatically. 

Is the principal okay?

I went back up onto the stage and shock his hand and everyone appladed me and screamed my name except for jessica and bella who looked like they were about to kill me, lmfao. 

What about the other two cheerleaders? Were they converted to Team Tiaa by all this?

My eyes strayed to where edward stood gazing baldly at me. I all most fainted right then at the sight of him looking so hawt and gorgeous. I dnt think anyone else had noticed but he had a MASSIVE erection it was so hawt and sexoy. 

Both of you need to calm down.

I saw bella and jessica storming out of the room angry that i had won, and I smiled.

For real, what happened to the other two cheerleaders?

Later on i walked home happily, then a car purred up beside me. It was ewdard!  

"get in the car i'll drive thee home sweet lady" he said in his beautiful old fashioned speech. I did as he told me without knowing were quiet for a minite

"you were awesome tonight, you have a stunning voice like silk and satin in the moonlight. You looked beyond beautiful up on that stage, like an old painting in a church. i wanted to charge right at u and kiss thine lips right there" 

I know the author is trolling, but I love the idea that this is what teenage girls find hot — a dude who talks in anachronistic Ye Olde English and gets boners from watching you sing. Because that’s normal.

Actually, I did read a fic once that seemed to be intended as serious erotica, and one character switched into Ye Olde English as soon as the sexy stuff began. And by “sexy stuff” I mean torturing and murdering a Yu-Gi-Oh character. No accounting for taste, I guess.

he still had a huge erection and i wanted to touch it so badly but i didnt. 

He’s driving, so probably best to leave that alone.

"i think BELLA might have had somethin to say about that!" i snapped "where is she neway?"

"at home sulking cause she lost the contest and had a total hissy fit and cryed for hours because thee was better than her in the contest"

At least someone is in character.

"how mature" I said sacastically. At that moment edward pulled his car to the side of the road and looked me in the touched my hand and I slapped him hard in the face

Seems a tad hypocritical when you were considering going for the dick-grab a minute ago.

'YOU WILL NEVER TOUCHE ME AGAIN U SICKO!" I wailed and kept hitting him in the face and chest "last week I fuckin BEGGED u to sex on me and you turned me down! I have never been so humilated in all my frickin LIFE! Watt the hell is wong with u? One mimite your all over me and the next its like i dnt even exist! dnt fuckin touch me. EVERR!"

All of this would be a perfectly reasonable gripe except that Tiaa acts the exact same way. I’ll cut them both a little slack — Tiaa for being sexually abused, Edward for internal conflict over whether or not to leave his girlfriend — but, come on, pot calling the kettle black.

"its complecated tiaa my lady. Im sorry i hurt thine feelings. Its just i cant resist thee, but i cant be with thy either. I never ment to drag thou into this mess, its not thee fault i totally ruin everything. Im so SO SORRY. IM DESPISABLE!"

Can’t argue with that. Mostly because “despisable” is not a word.

"its me or her "i said bluntly

"i cant make that choice tiaa - he wept

And I take it polyamory is off the table, because it always is.

"you are going to have to!"

"first thee have to tell me who thou relay are!" he said "who were thy parents?what are thee?"

"my mom dies when I was bored, I never new my father. Thats it." i said

"we BOTH no thats not the full story. Your a vampire, like me"

Though I’m glad that this fic at least avoids the cliché of having the Sue figure out that Edward’s a vampire way in advance, it seems odd that she’s given basically no thought to the possibility that he’s inhuman after he’s claimed to be a vampire multiple times.

-omfg i'm NOT a frickin vampire! I think id have noticed u total dipshit"

I’d think she’d have noticed too, but she seems incapable of noticing anything’s weird about Edward. The Ye Olde English doesn’t strike her as unusual? His looks aren’t odd? What about the change-color eyes? Mind reading? Really, dude isn’t very good at keeping up the human illusion, which is probably why he and his family typically keep their distance from humans. But there I go talking about canon.

"you don't drink human blood"- he asked

"i dont drink any blood u asshole. Is this ur idea of a joke, cos no ones laughing!" i got out of the car and ran away feeling insulted.i didnt want to see that stupid hawt jerk ever again! I went home. But i couldnt get rid of the memory of his sharp erection and deadly cold body. 

Oh yeah, and the temperature thing. I know some people run cold — I’m one of them — but we’re not talking 97 degrees instead of 98; dude is probably room temperature all the time, since he’s essentially dead. Tiaa doesn’t think that’s weird and inhuman?

i cut myself and went to sleep in tears.

Like a reel goff.

Next chapter

[simkjrs]

ch6 asks, cont’d.

Anonymous said: read the latest chapter and honestly even though im screaming in agony, i absolutely love this drama. i really cant wait to see where youre going with this. it also makes me happy to see you make so many good characters autistic, it feels nice to be able to relate to actions. also, izuku's entire internal conflict in this chapter? BIG MOOD.

fdjdkljf happy to hear someone’s enjoying it!! also, thank you for the feedback -- it’s nice to know that i’ve done alright,representation-wise. :^)

Anonymous said: just wanted to tell you that i'm at the spot when izuku basically tells it like it is to kacchan. and it's pretty much spot on. from what i can tell. from real life experiences. I sincerely hope that this time in your life is past if you've had to experience something like this or you have people you can turn to. otherwise, dude, you are scarily good at writing. i'm seriously afraid of how this conversation is going to turn out. the chapter's really beautiful and honestly just inspiring. thank u

this is such a nice ask i didnt know what to do with myself after reading it? 

no comment on my real life situation except that everything’s fine right now. i haven’t experienced everything that izuku is dealing with (or at least.. not to that degree?) SO i’m just extrapolating beyond my own life & experiences, and also incorporating what i’ve learned by reading through accounts by people who have actually lived through these things. thank you for writing in, and thank you for your concern 

@ceilingbattles​ said: I just wanted to say thank you so much for the new chapter <3 honestly its my favourite fanfiction, and I just really appreciate all the work you put into it, its amazing!!! (I don't have an ao3 account, just really wanted to let you know). Also just wow. that was a chapter. 100% worth it, I will read it repetitively on my phone as I have the rest of the fic.

thank you!! it’s really nice to hear that, and i feel incredibly honored to have written someone’s favorite fic. i hope it continues to live up to your expectations!

Anonymous said: i feel like byggualom! izuku and suneater would get along very well. kindred spirits kinda thing

both of them have massive anxiety so they can definitely empathize with each other, and i think izuku would do his best to accommodate suneater! it would be really exhausting for izuku though, i think, so while they’d get along well i don’t know if they’d be good for each other for extended periods of time. anxiety echo chamber

@aliceofbrokendreams​ said: Can I give you a hug? Cause if writing the first half invoked as much emotion as it did in me reading it, you should have one.

yeah... it was really hard writing this chapter. thank you 

@slightlyobssesive​ said: I would just like to say that this chapter took me four hours to read and then another one to compose myself to type this. On one hand I absolutely adore you because some parts had me so happy and the portrayal of Izuku's abuse is handled so well. On the other hand though I am cradling my heart that has been shattered into about 3 million pieces and screaming why because this chapter emotionally destroyed me. I cannot properly express my current feelings in this small amount of space just WHYYYY

im sorry but also im completely not sorry, THANK YOU FOR READING DESPITE YOUR DEEP PERSONAL SUFFERING 

and also thanks for your feedback re: the representation of izuku’s abuse! i’m glad i was able to convey it well!

@abrcmhatford​ said: i uh wanna say that i really appreciate how you're handling izuku's reaction to realizing that yeah, it was abuse, because people brush over the recovery a lot, and i've been in izuku's shoes and i think you captured the entirety of it really well. it's rough and it's really hard and it's still hard and i like how you didn't just ignore the gritty details and kept pushing. thanks

yeah! i wanted to write something that was about recovery, and moving forward, and doing your best despite your circumstances. i pulled on my own experiences with depression and other things to try and write this, and what i learned, so... i’m happy to hear it resonated with someone else too. i hope that you’re out of that situation now, and that things are better for you. thank you for your feedback. it means a lot to me. 

@angryqueermermaid​ said: you. absolute motherfucker.

alright now that name calling is out of the way I must say that you have the BEST portrayal of depression and anxiety I have EVER seen. like. holy shit my guy. the entire ch I was just like. "same? same. SAME." and, well, while that was a fucking kick in the pants, it was so.... confusingly cathartic??? in a good way??? to watch izuku struggle with the shit I have felt, in ALL aspects of life like being vunerable and/or high energy/socialization settings. fucking. GOD MY KOKORO.

FUCK WHAT I'M TRYING TO IS THAT YOU DID GOOD

i once saw a quote that said something like, “if you want to make someone a monster to society, first make sure they never see themselves in your stories.” it’s a morbid quote, but i feel like it explains well why it’s so meaningful when you see yourself reflected in a story. i know the first time i read a chinese-american protagonist, and one who wasn’t interested in romance to boot, i was in junior high and it made me so happy because i’d never had that representation before. 

that’s one of the reasons i write so many characters with mental illnesses or trauma -- i don’t see enough of us in mainstream stories, and i think those stories need to be told, just so we can remember that we aren’t alone. i’m really glad you found catharsis reading chapter 6, and that i was able to catch some of those struggles you go through. thank you for writing in!

Anonymous said: OF COURSE YOU POSTED YOUR LONG-AWAITED SIXTH CHAPTER IN JUNE

and yet, i missed the anniversary!!!! a failure!!!!

Anonymous said: sometimes I just go to your blog to make sure you're okay. like of you're blogging then you're either okay or trying your hardest

i’m not actually sure if this was a ch6 asks but it was sent with the rest so. thank you. it soothes me to know that someone out there is thinking of my wellbeing, because i sure don’t and i guess someone has to. (but in all seriousness, that’s really sweet)

Anonymous said: Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I loved the chapter 6 a lot! As a writer, I can understand not being entirely happy with your work, but as someone who recently got out of a very unhealthy situation, it makes me happy that you put it up anyway! Izuku's recovery mimicked mine in a lot of ways, especially the coming to terms with it. His talk with Yagi about grief hit very close to home, but also was very inspiring, if that makes any sense!! So sincerely, thank you so much! ^u^

i’m really happy to hear that!! i tried to catch the feeling / moment i had when i was getting through my depression, where for two weeks or so i was so miserable all the time and just wanted to... stop. it’s hard to explain, but one day i got up in the morning and knew that i was just tired of all this, tired of stagnating in the same place and tired of being miserable all the time, and maybe i couldn’t get rid of my depression but at the very least i had to try. if i was able to convey any of that through izuku’s conversation with yagi, then i’m satisfied. thank you!!

Anonymous said: Thank you for sharing your writing with us

and thank you for appreciating it! <3

@chocowl​ said:  From start to end this was a rly good chap. The recovery process, the relationships, and everything else was so good. I esp liked how Izuku mobilised his network and how Katsu got some Consequences. And Mitoki... much gold as always! Altogether: thank you for this journey! I loved it and i love you for creating such amazing content. Ihope you have an amazing day and time! :) xoxo

(sorry i split up your asks into two different posts! categorization purposes...)

i’m really glad you enjoyed that!! i worked so hard on the emotional atmosphere of this chapter, haha. glad to see it paid off. <3 <3 thank you for all your feedback, too, and also the really nice art you’ve made for me!

Anonymous said: someone made a pinterest board for The Fic! it looks p small rn (111 pins?) but its kinda cute

i don’t have a pinterest account so sadly i can’t zoom over and check it out, but wow... i’m really honored!! thank you for letting me know! 

Anonymous said: later, when Eri comes in- what would happen if byggualom!izuku was shot by Eri's quirk-removing drug? everyone's expecting something to happen but Izuku would be fine, considering he has no quirk (as far as he knows?)

muscular used izuku’s body to smash a concrete sidewalk into smithereens and izuku didn’t have so much as a scratch, one of the quirk-removing drugs’ bullets wouldn’t even have a chance. so actually, everyone’s question would be “what the hell is up with your skin” 

anyways, if you’re wondering if we’ll ever get a reveal, don’t worry. it’s coming. :^)

[tayegi]

I think eventually Jimin is going to see or overhear something and end up blaming or resenting OC for it & to get back at her for being with Jimin Jungkook is just going to go along with it. I just hate this weird cycle like originally OC was using and manipulating Jungkook to stay with Jimin and Jimin using OC to be with Jungkook and now Jungkook is literally abusing OC to keep her. And it's just all a mess. Ahhh your writing is so good akshksjs it stresses me out. 😓😓😓

ahhh that’s an interesting prediction! you will see soon!

Anonymous said:omg lu chapter 12 seriously just lit my ass on fire.... i think the build up for this whole series was just so so good im literally shitting the bed right now??? like at first it was jk being all like "cute" with his jealousy (totally not actually cute but i guess its a trope thats so common in media/society that we've become desensitized to it) and then it progressed to him being really possessive and it being kinda unnerving.. and now its just bordering on emotional abusiveness (part 1/2)

Anonymous said:im so glad that this fic clearly portrays these possessive tendencies in manner which they should be perceived in--potentially dangerous and scary. watching oc lose her mind and become more paranoid and afraid just makes me feel so much for her. equilibrium is really such a good depiction of how jealousy has the capability to really manifest into such an ugly thing. u r.... the fic queen seriously. im so excited to see what happens next but also so afraid for oc!! good job lu!! (part 2/2)

YES EXACTLY!!!! because of the norm in society, ppl thought his behavior was so hot and manly at first... but look at how it can fester if continued!!! i wanted to open ppl’s eyes to how problematic possessiveness can be and im glad you see it that way :) 

Anonymous said:I don't know who I'm madder at Jimin or Jungkook. Probably Jungkook because he's mentally abusing OC, but then again Jimin is just using her body. Like he doesn't love her. I know she also started this because she wanted just Jimin but like it isn't the same. I'm just so mad that JIMIN CAN SEE SOMETHING IS WRONG AND YET !!! NOTHING? I just want OC away from them both. Where is Hobi to come swoop in and save her, like even in a platonic way as a friend. I just want her to be away. (1)

Anonymous said:(2) Cont. But all that being said I have to say this is one of my fav fics to read. It's interesting and you are shining a light on a fucked up relationship and you aren't glorifying it or making the possessive Jungkook seem like it's normal and okay. It's sticky and messy and fucked up and if this was someone I knew I would be horrified, but knowing it's just a story I feel like I can sit and love it? It's just so good and I'm rambling now so like thank you, you are amazing. One of my fav witer

haha im glad that you liked it, despite the craziness of it all >.

Anonymous said:Chapter 12 had me scared tbh the way Jungkook is treating her is unacceptable I dont care what she did no one deserves to feel that scared BUT shes not innocent I was reading all the anons talking about her Jimin is using her body which HE IS and Jungkook was clearly using Jimin's body at some point but that's what she was doing to Jungkook whenever they got intimate I guess my point is that they ALL knew what the deal was when they got in that relationship Jimin didnt love Y/n and Y/n (pt 1)

Anonymous said:(Pt2) didn't love Jungkook and Jungkook didnt love Jimin Thankfully Y/N wasn't going crazy on use like JK but she did have sex with Jimin multiple times knowing he didn't love her but that he was in love with JK tbh just like jungkook she might be not even really be in love we've never really gotten a clear view on WHY she loves him every time I reread the story (which has been many times) she basically just talks about physical traits in my opinion what makes it worse is that she doesn't

Anonymous said:(PT3) Reach out to Jimin for help I mean even though he might know what's going on if he was still her good friend would he help her out or say something to JK I guess at the end of the day the biggest issue here is Jungkook seems to be getting worse I'm glad he had enough sense to leave the room but what pisses me off is that she won't stop this just to be around someone SHE KNOWS IS USING HER ughh sorry for the rant love this piece of writing it always has me thinking

yeah exactly! she’s stuck in this situation as a victim, but the thing is, she doesn’t have to be a victim! But she’s just so used to being victimized that it’s hard for her to stop the cycle sighhhh. And youre completely right! their love is shallow and has no depth in this fic! thanks for your comments ^^

[actualbird]

Now I really am back to reading your fics like a morning newspaper dgkdkg at this rate I should come up with a name for this fanfic paper....

Super Attorney dfjzhf is it Ace Attorney but a TV show? Honestly good taste mc.

Man, I really feel the not apologising thing. I mean, I apologise to friends and acquaintances of course but it's a family thing? I guess? I'm pretty sure this is a kind of common thing too. I'd probably have the same reaction as Giann if someone from my family actually apologised.

I love how Giann's first reaction when someone finds out something he doesn't want to is think Luke told them dgidig Luke will forever be thought of as a snitch now.

Giann nearly falling on his broken leg trying to see Neil right after admitting he hasn't been focusing on recovery is hilarious chkck he just went from not focusing to nearly actively fucking it up by accident poor Marius. First him leaving the room and going to the rooftop and now this.

NEIL XGJXGJCKG I CAN'T BELIEVE HE TRIED TO FAKE AMNESIA

Congratulations Neil you get to do shovel talks now! Start with Marius, he's right there and also it's his turn to get one now.

Looking at the end notes: Marbles von Hagen.....he'd be that marble that rolls away everytime you take them out of their bag or something. What troubles will he get into as a sphere....

And with that, that's the final chapter of this fic and my thoughts on it! As always, excellent chapter! This fic ended perfectly, and I'm definitely going to revisit it from time to time. Particularly when canon Giann and Neil come out, gotta see how similar they are to this fic. Thank you for writing this!!! It was a joy to read and I adored it so, so much.

🌌

waaaaahh, gmorning milkyway!! i hope u enjoyed today's morning paper written by zak who isnt telling you the news and is just making fic where characters get all emo and stuff, HAHA

JHSVKFJHSDK super attorney is a show mentioned in Artem SR Focus Fire. in terms of content, all we know is that it's a legal drama. but the Big Data Lab entry has this hilarious detail "It is supposedly inspired by real cases, but a certain anonymous critic has criticized the series as being overly dramatic and not reflective of reality." oh artem....KJHVFJAHSFJ

hoo boy yea the not apologizing thing was deffo inspired as a family thing. ive got 3 siblings and i love them very much and i'd consider all of us very close. but when any of us fight, we rarely apologize with like, the actual words. when it does happen tho, that when the situation is like Big

if im ranking the new team in terms of first impressions: luke honestly landed in last place due to sheer strangeness, giving giann a heartattack, and also snitching JHVSKJHDFKSDJ sorry dude

vjhKJHVKJH P MUCH, i just think itd be funny if giann didnt have a braincell sometimes, especially when it comes to people he cares about. it be like...

marius: i need u to recover so i can feel a bit more sane giann: okay i promise to focus on that :( //proceeds to nearly re-break his leg

neil wants to cause CHAOS. i assume part of why artem's deadpan expression these days is so good is because neil hume was his mentor and neil was a rascal

NEIL'S TURN TO SPEEDRUN!!! artem arrives at the room and neil is like "YOU OVERACHIEVER??? GO BIG OR GO HOME, HUH???" and artem is so confused

hjhJKHVKJHVKJ SPHERICAL NUISANCE!!! i figure thatd be austin and giann's rationale later on, but it did mostly start out from like "marius" -> "mar/marmar" -> "marbles"

when i pitched this hc on my priv twt, someone suggested "marmite" as a nickname and i lost my mind JHSJHFSKJDHF

thank YOU so so much for this lovely comment, milkyway :((( and for reading every chapter and commenting on each one, pls, every single one always made my morning and just made me rlly happy 🥺

now that this fic is over, it is time for me to look upon my horrid gdrive folder and see what ridiculous feels i will inflict upon you all next :DDD