The Captain’s Daughter: Part One
I’m back! Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted anything, but the writing gears in my brain stalled for a while. But they’re working once more and I’m back with a brand new story inspired by my newfound love of sea shanties.
Note: the song mentioned in here is Haul Away by Nathan Evans.
Summary: Elide and Lorcan living life as part of the best pirate crew.
Warnings: None.
.
The sea was unusually calm that night. Having spent as many years at sea as she had, Marion wasn’t used to such eerie stillness. She’d led her crew through more storms than she could remember, and found the motion of the waves soothing.
On nights when it was calm and the ship didn’t rock, sleep wasn’t easy to find. After tossing and turning for a few hours, her husband and first mate snoring away beside her, Marion had left the warmth of her bed and Cal’s arms for a walk around the deck in the chilly ocean air, deciding that was just what she needed.
Her crew always said that she had a bond with her ship, The Wyvern, and laying her hands on the mast while the night swirled around her had always brought her peace.
She’d made for the wheel, checking in with her helmsman and the course of her ship. Nox was a young man, not much older than her daughter, but he was a damn good crewman, and she trusted him implicitly to guide them all safely while they slept. But a good captain knew that no one job was beneath them, and Marion Lochan was a damn good captain.
“All good, Nox?” she greeted, trailing her fingers over the rail as she climbed the steps to reach the man.
“Yes, Captain.” He patted the wheel with a certain fondness every member of her crew possessed. “She’s a steady girl and we’ve got nothing but clear skies ahead.”
Nodding, she circled the rear mast, one hand braced on the wood as she moved. The faint sound of someone singing reached her ears, barely audible over the breeze that had kicked up, but it was lost as Nox spoke once more.
“Everything okay, Captain?” Keeping his face tilted toward the horizon, he turned to her in concern. “Worried about our last run-in with the Navy?”
Marion chuckled, the sound escaping her before she could stop it. “The Navy is the least of my concerns.”
Many would have found her statement egotistical and a harbinger of certain trouble, but Marion had a secret most other pirate captains didn’t share. Her closest friend and former crewmate was none other than Evalin Ashryver, the wife of Rhoe Galathynius, Admiral of the Terrasen Navy. Not to mention that Evalin’s daughter, Aelin, and nephew, Aedion, had both served briefly on the ship as well. The latter had become Captain in the Navy, serving under Rhoe and helping Marion and Cal continue their reign as pirate lords.
Descending the steps, she caught the tail-end of Nox’s smirk at her statement, and she shook her head in laughter once more. “Fair wind, Nox,” she said.
Reaching the main mast, she offered a wave up to Kaltain, her barrelman and the other person she trusted with the safe guidance of her ship through the night. The woman was a damn good lookout, and her affinity for climbing the ropes faster than anyone she’d ever seen only added to her value.
The woman waved back before offering a complicated set of hand signals in the direction of the wheel, and it was only moments before Marion heard Nox’s laughter rumbling behind her. The two of them had developed their own form of signs and signals so they could communicate without speaking.
Placing her hands on the solid bulk of the main maist, Marion breathed deeply, her eyes slipping closed and the smell of salt wrapping around her like a familiar embrace. The life of a pirate hadn’t always been easy, but she’d never wanted to trade it for anything else. She knew she’d miss nights at sea too much to ever give it up.
Marion wasn’t sure how long she stood there before she became aware of two things: the singing had become audible once more, and her husband had found her, if the arms wrapped around her waist were anything to go by.
“What brought you out of bed, husband?” she murmured, leaning against his chest without taking her hands off the mast.
Ghosting his lips over the very top of her forehead, Cal just sighed softly. “You know how hard I find it to sleep without you, Captain. I’ve been up since you left our bed, but I know how you cherish your time with your ship.”
“You,” she told him, finally turning in his embrace, “are a good first mate and an even better man.” Marion paused as the singing grew louder, finally allowing her to place the tune as Haul Away. “Who is that, I wonder?”
Her husband smiled down at her. “Just wait, you’re going to love it.” Taking her hand, he pulled her toward the bow. “Come with me.”
Walking slowly so as not to disturb the two people she could just make out sitting on the forecastle deck, Cal pulled her into the shadows at the bottom of the steps, motioning for her to keep quiet. Marion peered up onto the deck, smiling when she realized what exactly she was seeing.
Lorcan, one of her gunners - not that her style of piracy had much use for heavy artillery - and her newly appointed quartermaster, was seated against the railing. Resting between his legs with their fingers intertwined was none other than Elide, Marion and Cal’s daughter. The two of them had been together in secret for several months, only a select few people on the ship - Marion, Cal, Nox, and Kaltain - having been made aware out of a desire for privacy in the early stages of their relationship.
The dark-haired man was singing softly in her ear, the sound only carrying because of the breeze, and Marion felt her heart swell at the obvious love she could see growing between the two of them.
Wrapping her fingers around her husband’s wrist, she pulled Cal back toward their quarters. “Let’s leave them be, my love,” she murmured, catching the smile on his face. He’d told her once that he couldn’t picture anyone better suited for their daughter, and she wholeheartedly agreed.
As they slipped through the door and down the stairs to their room, Lorcan’s voice swirled around them before being carried off to sea on the breeze.
.
Tags: @highqueenofelfhame @dashedwithromance @musicmaam @snelbz @theladyofdeath @tangledraysofsunshine @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @lordof-bloodshed @nalgenewhore @photofeesh @belamoonbeam @mis-lil-red @julemmaes @thesirenwashere @tswaney17 @b00kworm @maastrash @empress-ofbloodshed @celestialams @mynewdreamwasyou @maybekindasortaace @hizqueen4life @firestarsandseneschals @bielectra @bamchickawowow @ireallyshouldsleeprn @thegoddessofyou @somenerdydancer @wisteriiagrow @perseusannabeth @flamingveritas @treasurethelittlethings @story-scribbler @infernoqueen19 @live-the-fangirl-life @vanzetanze @the-hospitality-of-knives @rowanaelinn @mybloodrunsblue @sv0430 @swankii-art-teacher @pagemasters @marigold-morelli @itmeansofthesea
As always, if you want to be added to or removed from my tags, just let me know!! And don’t forget to let me know what you thought!!
58 notes
·
View notes
Chapter: 1/1
Summary: It had only been two weeks since they discovered what the Absolute was and how it came to be. It had only been two weeks since they had seen the relic for themselves, but the way Gale continued to speak about it bordered on obsession.
Nox'ani was exhausted, but more than that, she was terrified. Not about the impending end of the world, but about the growing probability the love of her life was going to tear himself asunder with his own, reckless ambition.
(Bit of a prelude/rewrite of Gale's Act 3 scene; cleanup of this)
By all accounts, Nox’ani Skuldavi was exhausted.
It was an earned exhaustion at least, given everything that was going on around them. It had only been two weeks since they had left Moonrise Towers after their, quite frankly, shocking success against Ketheric Thorm and the death god Myrkul, and they could not afford to spare a moment. They had made it to Baldur’s Gate in record time from Moonrise, probably only a day or so after the full forces of the Absolute arrived, and even still it was obvious the reaches of the cult were already deeply rooted into the heart of the city and only growing worse by the day.
Their merry little band of tadpoled misfits had their work cut out for them. They needed to put an end to the murders that were causing chaos and terror to sweep through the city. They needed to find and deal with Orin before she could lay a hand on Halsin. They needed to…well, she wasn’t even sure what they needed to do to Gortash, though letting her sister’s gauntleted fist connect with his face and then letting Karlach deal with the rest was a tempting plan. No matter how they did it, they had to deal with the remaining two Chosen and retrieve their Netherstones, and none of that factored into who—or more precisely, what—was relaying that information to them and what was awaiting them once they had all three stones:
An illithid ally and an elder brain controlled by the gods damned Crown of Karsus.
So yes, between the Bhaalspawn and the Banites, between the illithids and the devil still looking to make a deal, and between the cult and the common criminal of a city like Baldur’s Gate, Nox was exhausted and growing closer to the end of her rope with each passing day. There was still too much to do, too much to plan for, and by the time darkness settled around them each night over the past two weeks, her mind spun with everything that was left for them to do until she felt as if they were no closer to their goals than when they took their first step out of Moonrise.
And yet, despite all of that, somehow she still found herself the most concerned with the wizard walking beside her in the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. The only thing her addled mind kept returning to day in and day out was not the threat of the end of the world, but the man next to her filled with far too much ambition for his own good.
It had only been two weeks since they discovered that the Absolute was actually an elder brain under command of the Crown of Karsus. It had only been two weeks since they had seen the relic for themselves, but the way Gale continued to speak about it bordered on obsession.
At first, she wanted to believe it was simple fascination. Any scholar worth their salt would positively salivate at the possibility of holding the Crown in their hands, herself included. But as the days stretched on, so did Gale’s fascination, and it became increasingly apparent their shared interest in a renowned, historical artifact diverged at one critical juncture.
Really, the moment he laid eyes on it, Nox should’ve known it would come to this. She knew Gale well enough, and she knew enough about the Crown to put two and two together. Though, perhaps that was a touch unfair to expect from herself. She was more concerned with everything else going on in the chamber that day to have noticed or really considered what the Crown was at the time, and thereafter she was far more concerned with the Dead Three’s Chosen and the elder brain.
So really, the moment Gale sat her down and explained to her what it was he hoped to accomplish with it, she should’ve known it would come to this.
And really, she shouldn’t have agreed to finding the Annals, but the logical part of her knew that learning anything else about the Crown would only benefit them in their pursuit of defeating the Absolute. A quieter part of her hoped that reading the Annals himself would dissuade Gale from continuing with this asinine desire for godhood with the Crown. Unfortunately, that seemed to have backfired considerably, and between the Annals and his meeting with Mystra, he seemed more determined than ever to reforge the Crown for himself.
And that…that terrified her. More than Bane and Bhaal, more than the elder brain and the worm in her head, Nox was terrified she was going to watch the man she’d come to love tear himself apart with his own, reckless ambition.
So here they were, walking through the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate because she asked him to accompany her on an evening stroll. She needed to talk to him—alone and away from the constant buzz of the city—in an effort to get him to see that the only thing awaiting him at the end of this path he wished to tread was ruin, even if he succeeded. Maybe it would at least soothe her racing mind, and she could focus on what was, undeniably, the far greater concerns in front of them.
The problem was that she had always been considerably lacking in words, and for all her plans of needing to say something, Nox had no idea what that was. Their walk thus far had been done in amicable silence, though Gale hardly seemed to mind. His fingers were loosely threaded through hers, their joined hands swaying lazily between them with every step they took. He seemed to genuinely enjoy simply being in her presence for one, calm moment amidst the chaos they were surrounded by, and while it was incredibly nice to revel in, she wished he would press her for why she asked him to join her. Then she would be forced to answer, if nothing else.
He wouldn’t though, she knew he wouldn’t. Even if he knew she needed to talk to him—and he likely did, she wasn’t exactly subtle with her anxiety—he would wait for her to initiate. He allowed for and respected her need for the necessary space and time to gather herself, which was great…when she knew what she wanted to say and was just puzzling out how to say it. That was not the case here, being at a total lack of words as she was.
Unfortunately too, she also knew if she didn’t say something now, then either her head was going to burst with all the concerns in her mind or they were going to complete their little stroll without her saying a single word. Neither option was feasible, and she conceded that having no plan by now meant the only thing left for her to do was just rip it off.
They were far enough away from the bustle of the city that she felt more comfortable talking to him. No one would overhear them, and no new emergency they had to take care of would spring forth and immediately interrupt them. It was the best they were going to get.
She drew a slow, deep breath through her nose, and then exhaled it just as slowly in order to steady herself before she started. “Gale?” Nox asked softly, tugging on his hand.
“Yes, dear?” he asked in return, warm brown eyes sliding over the meet hers.
“Can we…stop for a moment?” she asked. She finally came to a halt and let go of his hand, moving to stand in front of him. “We need to talk.”
Gale smiled at her. “I suspected there was something you wished to speak about. What’s on your mind?”
Nox drew and released another breath before nodding. “Well…I…” She immediately faltered with how he was watching her so carefully, so patiently, and with his complete, undivided attention. It was how he always watched her, and usually it made her heart sing. For some reason, right now it was making something foreign gnaw at her gut.
She cast her eyes downward, and before even thinking on it, blurted in a rush, “…You know your plan is absolutely ridiculous, right?”
That…wasn’t exactly how she wanted to start this. Alright, that most definitely wasn’t how she wanted to start this, there was absolutely a better way to phrase it, but she was exhausted, and her nerves were already so well beyond frayed she wasn’t sure they hadn’t unraveled entirely. It was even more graceless than usual for her, but at least it put everything else into motion.
“Pardon?” Gale asked. She glanced up and watched his smile pull into a frown as he folded his arms in front of him. “I thought it was a rather efficient plan. So long as we remain in pairs and in our designated sections, we should be able to map the entirety of the sewers in no time and—"
“No, no. Not…not that plan,” she cut him off with a shake of her head. After they learned of Halsin’s kidnapping, he had proposed the best way to investigate the sewers and try to find Orin was by splitting up in groups the following morning and each taking a section. They had all readily agreed. “That plan is genius actually, and an excellent way to maximize our time. That isn’t the plan I mean.”
When he only continued watching her and didn’t press on what plan she did mean, Nox heaved another long breath and explained quietly, “I’m talking about the Crown, Gale.”
A part of her expected him to immediately get defensive over it, given how much thought he had put into what he could possibly do with the Crown of Karsus. Another part of her expected him to refuse to talk about it. Instead, his face darkened considerably at the mention of the artifact, though it wasn’t necessarily out of anger. She had seen anger on him, and it wasn’t this. Anger didn’t furrow his brows quite so deeply, and it didn’t cause the storms to cross his eyes as they were now.
No, this was more…confusion, maybe. Or, if she was letting herself be hopeful, then maybe it was doubt. It was almost a relief to see, especially if it was doubt, because that meant he wasn’t as fully committed to this ludicrous idea as she initially feared.
“Ah. Well, I admit, I have noticed you have been more non-committal than usual when I have brought the subject up,” Gale responded. He took a long moment to look her over, and it took all of her will not to squirm under his scrutiny, uncertain as she was regarding what exactly it was he was searching for. “What, exactly, is it about my plan that you object to?” he finally asked. His voice was measured, controlled and taut in place of all the warmth he had addressed her with only a moment ago.
“All…of it?” she answered tentatively. No, no she couldn’t be tentative. She had already been tentative with him when discussing it several times prior. She had tried to be gentle in her dissuasions from this path and it hadn’t worked. She had to be sure of herself.
She was sure of herself. “All of it,” Nox repeated. “It’s Karsus’s Crown, Gale. Karsus,” she stressed the name in hopes that alone could get through to him. “The epitome of a wizard’s hubris and a wizard’s folly! One of the earliest stories we are taught in school with one of the simplest lessons to learn. Why? Why do you want to repeat that?” she asked, feeling some of the biting anxiety from the last few weeks welling up in her chest. “Why do you want to be the next star of a story we already know ends catastrophically?”
“Nox…” Gale sighed heavily, some of the tension easing from his shoulders as he did so. “You’re nervous, and rightfully cautious.” That felt like an understatement. “But one of the great benefits of standing where we do now in Toril’s timeline is that we have the ability to learn from history,” he explained softly, almost like he was soothing a prey animal. “We can learn from what Karsus did and all of his mistakes, we won’t repeat them.”
“Or we repeat history with our own, new and exciting flares,” she retorted quickly. Her jaw clenched and unclenched a few times in an attempt to temper her volume. “How many mortals have attempted to become gods without being invited? How many have sought such power and it left them in ruin?” she asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Apotheosis is no mere trifle!”
“It is not,” he agreed calmly. “But I am no mere man, and I have countless examples to look to for what not to emulate. This is something I know I can do,” he added. His expression hardened as he continued to stare at her in thought though, and the look left her dreading whatever he was going to say next before he even said it. “Or…do you not agree?”
The accusation was harsh enough with all of the implications tethered into the subtext: did she not think he was skilled enough? Did she not think he was capable? Or did she simply not trust him to keep to his word? But it was the fear in his eyes, thinly veiled by a feigned neutrality, that truly tore at her chest.
The worst part was that he could not be further from the truth in any of it. Failure had never been a part of the equation for either one of them.
“That’s not…that’s not what I meant and you know it,” Nox denied, voice rising half a pitch. She turned away, granting herself a moment to clear her throat and contain herself. “You are a man of phenomenal skill and boundless talent and intelligence, I have never disagreed,” she said once she felt more in control of herself. She turned back to level him with her stare. “I have never even considered your failure in this situation.”
Her admittance was enough to knock him off guard, if the way his expression softened into surprise was any indication. He held her gaze for a long, quiet moment, searching for an answer to a question he had yet to voice. “Then…?”
“Gale…”
She scrubbed a hand over her face, stifling a groan. He didn’t understand, which she somewhat expected but had still hoped wouldn’t be the case. The man was intelligent and thoughtful, he understood so much of what she said, but he always fell short regarding himself. It wasn’t surprising, but it still left an aching pang in the pit of her stomach. She so desperately wished he could see and understand himself as she did.
Instead, she had to switch tactics.
“Alright…let us imagine you do manage to acquire the Crown and ascend with it. What then, hm?” Nox asked. She crossed her arms against the chill as a nighttime breeze swept through the glade they stopped in. That would be her excuse in any case, though she knew it was a common tell she had against her own, rising frustrations.
“You wish to do battle with Mystra?” she pressed, and then rolled her eyes with a derisive snort. “As if we have no idea how that would go. This is the goddess’s third incarnation, and Toril has tried to tear itself apart at the seams each time she died. Even if you won against her, there is no telling how the Weave would react, nor no telling how Toril would react to the Karsite Weave if it came to it. Or…”
Her face fell as a darker thought crossed her mind. It was one she had no desire to entertain, one she knew logically made no sense in the grander, hypothetical scheme they were currently painting, but then much of Gale’s feelings regarding Mystra—the love and the hatred both—likely defied logic. Understandably so, all things considered.
“…Or do you still wish to return it to her? To return to her? Do you wish to kowtow to her again in hopes she will finally see your worth and return you to her side?”
To his credit, up until this point Gale had afforded her neutrality and respect as she spoke against his desires. His face quickly soured at this accusation though, his eyes narrowed and his mouth pulled into a frown. “You are more than aware that is as unfair as it is untrue,” he refuted curtly.
“Fine,” she quickly agreed. She was aware that it was unfair to ask, and she figured it was untrue by now too. As she knew, logically it made sense, but a part of her still doubted. Likely, a part of her would always doubt whether he was truly over Mystra. A part of her would always doubt she was enough to sideline a goddess. But that was her burden to bear, and it was her insecurity to trouble over and puzzle out, not his. Especially not now.
“That…still does not answer any of my prior questions,” Nox pointed out quietly.
“Your prior questions…” Gale trailed off with a heavy sigh. “Your prior questions are worthy of consideration, undeniably, but they are still hypothetical—and they are hypothetical because you are correct. We do not know how Toril would react, it could be as you expect, or it could be as I expect. Or it could be anywhere in between, and that is part of the risk,” he acquiesced, but his eyes fixed on her, imploring her to understand. “But is it not worth the risk, Nox? All it would take is but a moment, and then I…and then we…”
“And what of we?!”
She grimaced when he stopped at her interruption and took a step back, clearly surprised at her outburst. But was it really so unexpected? This was the second time he had slipped in his explanations, the second time he had put himself first and considered her and their relationship second. It was unintentional, she would allow him that grace because she knew it. It was born from years of fending only for himself, of having to only consider himself and what he needed. It was born of relying solely on himself, and knowing he would be the one to complete this plan of his. She knew it was no slight against her, but it still bore questioning because she worried it was the crux of his issue.
“Then what of us?!” Nox demanded when he said nothing. She could feel her throat starting to burn. “What of the mortal man I love? What of me?!”
Her feet carried her back a step of their own accord, and she looked up at him with hot, blurry eyes. “Or do you not realize this is a plan for one? What would you wish of me when I am no longer able to stand at your side as an equal?!” she shouted. “Would you have me kneel at your feet as a subordinate? Is that what you desire?”
Her jaw clenched at the very thought, but to prove her point, she slowly lowered herself to her knees before him and then bowed her head as if in prayer. She felt a tremble pass through her—frustrated, yes, but also enraged…fully aware of just how many times she had held this exact position to no avail—before she ground out, “Is a worshipper what you see? A single soul to praise the Great Lord of Magic?”
She needn’t look up to feel the shift in the air around them, the weight of anger extinguishing like the flame on a wick being snuffed and transforming into something altogether…different. Slowly, she raised her head and met his stare with her own. His brown eyes were dark, nearly black, and the charge that surged through their locked gazes made her mouth run dry as the rest of her words fell to dust on her tongue.
The thought struck her, briefly, that if he wanted her on her knees all he had to do was ask…which was a surprising revelation in itself because a month ago that wasn’t the case. Though a month ago, Nox supposed, she had yet to admit she had fallen for this frustratingly incredible wizard who refused to see the worth he contained in his own, mortal self.
Not that it mattered either, because that wasn’t what this was. It wasn’t just what this was, anyways. A desire sparked in his dark eyes, the kind she still had trouble recognizing and accepting being directed at her, but it was also nothing in comparison to the flare of concern shining there. It was a burning sympathy, a warm, aching understanding of what she had been through, and if she were honest, she should have expected nothing less.
They hadn’t suffered in exactly the same ways, but they ran parallel to one another. He had no need to use words, nor to even use the connection of their tadpoles. The very question—the very recognition she just made towards the act of kneeling pulsed through the Weave that surrounded them, the magic they delighted in sharing with one another.
How many times?
The urge to turn away, to avert herself from his knowing stare and the vulnerability it caused, disintegrated the moment Gale started moving towards her. Nox stilled completely, her breath catching in her throat as he lowered himself onto one knee in front of her and placed his hands on her arms. Gently, he assisted her back up to her feet and lightly caressed her arms a few times before he refused to waste another moment. A warm hand cupped her cheek, and he leaned forward to press a sweet kiss to her mouth.
Any lingering negativity twisting in her gut vanished as she sighed into him. He took the opportunity, his hand sliding back to tangle in her hair and his tongue tracing over her lips in wordless question. Nox responded immediately, a small moan escaping her while her hands came up to grasp at the fabric of his shirt. Gale wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her closer, eagerly deepening the kiss…and she was gone. She melted into him, her legs nearly giving way while he explored her mouth and slipped his hand under the hem of her tunic to lightly trace over her spine.
It was easy to get lost in him, especially in these moments. No matter how passionate or sweet the kiss, his were always tinged with an almost desperate devotion—a burning, devouring need for her to see, to feel, to know just how far he would go for her. And no matter how insignificant or insecure she felt, no matter how exhausted she was or how hard she questioned herself…it always worked.
His adoration was unquestionable, occasionally she simply needed a reminder.
The need for air finally broke them apart, but he barely moved away from her. Still cradling the back of her head, his forehead rested on hers and his lips were only a hair’s breadth away from her own. “I would have answered you in Elturel,” he spoke into the infinitesimal space between them, voice low and rough with laden emotion.
Before she could even consider his admittance, Gale kissed her again. She felt the significance of the words he just spoke still hanging heavily on his lips as they brushed over hers. “I would have answered you in Avernus,” he continued, speaking the words against her. His voice was still a low hum, rough and weighted and hushed, loaded with all the sacredness and melodics of a hymn.
Finally, Nox opened her eyes to look up at him, her surprise and wonder met with the most smoldering sincerity. “I would have answered you every time you asked during your travels of Candlekeep and Waterdeep and Baldur’s Gate,” he said. “I would have ensured you knew I was always at your side with every step you took. I would have ensured you never, never felt the need to question your own worth. I would have venerated you—”
His hand moved forward, cupping her cheek again as a soft, adoring smile slipped onto his face and warmth pooled into his eyes. “—And when the time came…when the time may still come, I would make you my equal. You have never been anything less,” Gale declared easily, as if he was discussing meal options and not apotheosis. “We would stand side by side as we reshaped all that we know, all that we love, into something worthy of its potential,” he added. “We would finally make things better for mortals—for those who know our struggles intimately well.”
Nox let out a low, long breath, and she leaned forward to rest her head against his chest. Her eyes slowly closed again as she listened to the steady thrum of his heart beating, felt the mystical buzz of the Orb—the Karsite Weave—against her cheek, and truly considered his words. It was not a difficult task, given how many of her own words were entangled in the spaces of all he said and all he meant. How many times during their journey had she lamented the Gods’ obvious lack of care to much of mortal suffering? How many times had she besmirched the Gods for withholding their divine power from man? How many times had she claimed mortals would be better off without the divine?
And yet…staring down the offer now, the worst part was knowing that it was possible. Claiming the Crown from the Absolute and reshaping the world into something they believed in would not be simple tasks by any means, but they were not impossible feats. In fact, they were hurtling towards both options being well within their grasps. But…she was not so sure it was a goal she desired anymore.
She was not so sure it was ever a goal she desired to begin with.
Attaining godhood had never been the option she considered when lodging her complaints. If anything, she wanted to see mortals free from the divine, not grasp the power herself. And now…well, she still had questions. She still took issue regarding many things, but Moonrise forced much of her perspective to shift. Hearing Selûne’s call again in a land ravaged by her sister shifted much. Watching Shadowheart turn away from all she knew in pursuit of something better with another deity shifted a lot, meeting Dame Aylin and witnessing what divine power…divine justice could do for a land so plagued my malice for so long…it all complicated matters considerably. If nothing else, it altered her thoughts drastically and left her with an even more complex web to untangle regarding her emotions towards divinity.
If nothing else, she was beginning to understand the role of a god was not much easier than the role of a man.
That, however, was not necessarily the facet she needed to address now. Not yet, at least. She still had time to weave her way through her snarled thoughts regarding divinity when there was another, far easier matter—far easier for her, at least—to discuss first. It was something she only understood recently they both struggled deeply with, how they both found that clawing insecurity lodged in their hearts when faced with each other, but now that she knew it existed in him just as readily as her, it was easy for her to read between the lines of how he spoke to her. How he spoke about her and all he wished he could do for her.
All things considered, it was really rather ironic.
“And I know you would have done all of that for me had you been around, regardless of godhood,” Nox finally murmured into his chest. “In spite of it, even.”
She paused, letting her words hang around them and waiting to see if he would respond to her. When he did not, she shifted enough to peer one eye up at him. The smile was gone from his face, but Gale was still watching her with an aching tenderness and an added look of unbridled curiosity.
“I have been…wondering, of late,” she admitted quietly, spurred on by his inquisitive gaze. “…I would swear apotheosis lays claim to what little may remain of a mortal before being deified. The Gods may wield their divine power, and I have lamented more than enough about all they keep from us…but I have often failed to consider what we have in their place.”
She cast her eyes downward as she mulled over and continued her thought. “There may be hundreds of worlds out there, but even the one at our fingertips is vast in its beauty. We are vast and beautiful in our capacity. We know and experience more than the divine could ever conceive. We are the ones who dream, who believe, who stop and wonder at the world around us. Hells, even our faith in the divine themselves is something precious and beautiful they will never experience.”
Nox paused, smiling to herself as she felt the warmth of a blush start tinting her pale cheeks. “And, most importantly, what I have rediscovered most recently…is that we love.”
She pulled away from him just enough to view him and his shining eyes clearly. After a moment, she reached up with one hand to press it against his cheek. “All of that to say, I don’t need a god, Gale. A god could never grant me all the pain, all the beauty, all the love that exists in this world. I have no use for a god,” she whispered. “All I need is you.”
Her fingers settled over the veins curling up his cheek, and she stroked over them a few times before she delicately trailed down their path towards the Orb in his chest. She pushed the collar of his shirt out of the way and traced over the ring of the Orb itself before her hand settled, the tips of her fingers over the Karsite Weave and her palm over his heart. “I need the mortal man in front of me,” she confessed, rendering herself breathless and a little light-headed.
She hadn’t needed anyone but her sister for quite a while, but there was no denying this man had slotted into her life so seamlessly by now that she couldn’t bear to imagine a future where he was absent from her side. “I need the one with passion in his veins and devotion in his heart,” Nox whispered and dared to glance up at him.
Gale released a shuddering sigh, his eyes slipping closed for a moment while one of his hands came up to rest over her own against his heart. “I could give you worlds, and you tell me this is enough,” he muttered and opened his eyes to gaze down at her.
His brown eyes were piercing, consuming, but warm and filled to the brim with nothing but love. “You grace me with such words, such brilliant, exceptional joys…and most days, the mortal man before you does not feel worthy of you,” he admitted.
His tone was joking, his voice light and the small smile he gave her was as playful as it was sweet, but she could see the lingering sadness masked in his eyes. The concern and the doubt that he wasn’t enough, the fear that it would one day drive her away like it had in the past. They were surely the same emotions he had seen so readily reflected in her gaze countless times before. The same ones he assuaged with gentle reminders and light kisses.
Luckily, she could return those easily.
“Then he needs to stop concerning himself with matters that are not for him to decide,” Nox said, her voice teasing to match his tone, but every word carrying nothing but sincerity. Her free hand snaked around his neck and she pulled him down for another kiss. His surprised breath fanned over her lips, and she smiled against him, triumphant.
“I alone determine what I am worth,” she breathed against him. “And I have decided that you, my dear Wizard of Waterdeep, are more than what even my wildest fantasies could ever bring to me. You are worth more than every last bit I could possibly give.”
She pulled back in time to catch a flash of the beaming grin Gale gave her, just before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close again. He placed a soft kiss on her temple and then buried his face in her hair, murmuring, “And how I will wonder for the rest of my mortal days why fate decided to grant me such fortune.”
Nox sunk into him with a sigh, burying herself in him and allowing herself to revel in the warmth he exuded for a few moments before she had to return them to her primary point. “If you truly see it as such fortune…then perhaps you can stop attempting to throw it away at every opportunity?” she finally asked quietly.
His arms tightened around her, and she granted him a moment too before she leaned her head back to look up at him. When he didn’t meet her eyes, she freed her hand and returned it to his cheek, gently guiding him back to her. “Can we put this to rest, Gale? Please?” she asked, on the verge of pleading. “You have been worrying me for weeks, you know.”
Gale gave another, weary sigh as his eyes grew distant with thoughts Nox couldn’t even begin to fathom. The longer she stared up at him though, silently begging him to see reason, the more the shadows clouding his eyes receded. “I…do suppose we cannot rid ourselves of the Crown entirely,” he answered, and her heart dropped. “It is still attached to the elder brain we need to defeat, and Mystra did request I return it to her.”
Oh. That was…better, at least. She still despised he had a point, for multiple reasons, but she could not deny he was correct.
“But, I also do suppose I have been quite the fool these past few weeks.”
Gale pressed her hand into his cheek before he turned, brushing his lips against her open palm. “It can rest,” he agreed, and sweet relief swept through her. “I apologize, the last thing I intended to do was add more to your already troubled mind. I never wished to worry you, darling.”
“I know,” Nox said. “And your aspirations are noble, I understand, but it…” She paused, swallowing back the lingering emotions roiling in her chest. “You are already so capable, you already have so much potential as it is. You already do so much good. Please…do not squander it on a chance that is more likely to ruin you than assist you.”
He sighed, his warm breath traveling over her palm and down her forearm. It caused her to shiver. “One day I hope to feel like the man you must see me as,” he admitted. “Often, your faith in me feels misplaced, but it is one of the few things that keeps me moving steadily forward.”
“Then do not disrespect and squander it either,” she joked.
He smiled and shook his head, before leaning down to kiss her lightly. “Never,” he swore against her lips.
“Thank you,” she breathed a sigh of relief.
When Nox felt him starting to disentangle himself from her, her stomach churned again, and her arms tightened around him as she pressed herself back into his chest. She felt a few, lingering tears escape from the corner of her eyes. “Can we stay…just for a few more minutes?” she asked quietly. “I…I think I need a few more just to…just to gather myself…”
“Of course, my dear,” Gale agreed with a small, breathy laugh. He pulled her flush against him and started rubbing circles against her back. “I will gladly give you however long you need. It is the very least I can do.”
14 notes
·
View notes