#nyeh! throws it at you

[paper-lilypie]

more silly stuff ft y/n’s lack of brain to mouth filter

[riftwalker-limbro]

well apparently angst is in the air today and it bit me too so

i've always examined vince vs jay from his own perspective but what do pule and verica even think.

edit post-writing this: oh this is a hot pile of half-formatted brain vomit. click the read more at your own risk. my goal was to get my thoughts straight, and i did, and now this is a mess and i'm not fucking fixing it

pule did his grieving while he was still human, i think. he never did expect to see jay again, but once he remembers the worst period of his fucking life while sitting next to the two (well, 1.9) people who notable weren't there for it, it's... well, a shock is putting it lightly, i imagine. they know his name, they have the right vibes that, despite the fact he'd never felt them as human like he could now as a warframe with transference, just fit - mostly. not all of it is correct, but enough is, and the second he manages to ask if it's jay, he gets swiftly but gently corrected, that, well, yes, but also it's vince now.

once he finds out Why it's vince now, pule struggles hard with being confronted with the walking, breathing truth of accidentally getting his best friend actually killed for a while still. part of the grieving process gets reset entirely, and as friend fashion show has pointed out so excellently, it does do pule a lot of good to hang out a lot with others (bruiser, notably) that he doesn't have a painful shared past with. the threads he dropped with jay are easy to pick back up with vince, though: sharing old jokes and making new ones referencing stuff only they know, ways of thinking that are still almost identical after years of close friendship, etc. they grew together for a significant formative period of their lives, and that still affects just how suited to be each other's friend they are.

verica has a more complex headspace around this. she actively searched for him, knowing that he hadn't died but instead had become a warframe, even though he stopped pinging on the orokin radars even before she got apprehended and warframe'd herself. there's such a huge chance that he's dead, but dammit, if anyone can do the impossible, it should be the mathematician who'd managed to put a pencil into a pocket dimension between solid reality & the poisonous void. and she's... partially right.

when she wakes up on kelth's orbiter, she's going to think the idiot before her is jay. he'd done it, he'd managed to come back from the dead, and found her scattered clues. and, well, we know it isn't really jay anymore. he doesn't even confess the whole thing, at first - he just says, well, i go by vince now. and she rolls with it completely because why wouldn't she. it's only when the cracks start to show, both in his behaviour and in one certain scene between the three of them that i'm sure i'll die two and a half times while writing before i'll get it just right, that she actually realises that Nope, Not Jay. Not Like That Anymore.

she struggles with even just accepting it in her head, at first - he's so much like jay, pinging Correct in so many little ways, but he's Not, calling him by that name hurts him, and thinking of him as jay is wrong for the person vince is now. she goes through the period of grief she hadn't allowed herself even before everything.

and now, all three of them are in the same space, grieving the shit that happened to them, that one of them had to die, but at least they now have each other again. for reasons mentioned before, bonds with vince are built up extremely fast, and they quickly get to the same level of friendship they were at with jay. they go beyond, even - vince needs them more than jay did, even if he might not want to phrase it like that to not force them into anything, but they respond to it in kind. one of the consequences of the way warframes are fundamentally changed, made more rigid and less flexible, from humans in my lore makes it so that they will seek out familiarity at ridiculous costs. removing the memories from fresh frames was a fix for that by the orokin, but you can't just make something Rigid/Inflexible, apply a Change, and expect it to not eventually pop back into its original shape like memory foam.

pule & verica is also an interesting initial dynamic, i think. pule feels guilty for, well, everything - he's still under the impression that he'd gotten ghosted for life, and the fact that the warframe he'd been glaring at from the corner of his eyes, the one that had looked way too much like the recently-vanished artist octavia to be anything like a respectful tribute, had actually been her all along and he hadn't even bothered to look into it- he does struggle with it. of her own part, verica's shocked to see him at all, didn't realise that he'd whole ass up and volunteer for the program if she also disappeared, didn't realise that sitting down and letting herself grieve with him had also been an option. i imagine she does also initially carry some guilt over this, though she gets over hers significantly faster than pule does, both because it's just Less Significant Levels of Guilt & because she's just way more prone to Alright Oops Let's Move On than he is (hi. musician who's been in public about it here. making mistakes & moving on like nothing happened is a Necessary & Learned Skill. show must go on & all that)

i think pule would initially expect her to be hostile towards him, after he gets over the shock of "holy shit you're a warframe too? holy shit you're That Warframe? i was never ghosted on purpose??". but 1. even if she did have the right to get hostile, which she knows she doesn't, it wouldn't do anything, and 2. buddy friend we're still here after everything why would i be mad about getting this second chance at life. i've already lost my other friends and family and everything from that life, just let me hang on to you and this other idiot with all the strength left in me.

anyway, that's how the three of them become inseparable on an almost-physical level. a true triad. they get a shared bedroom and sleep together in a pile and everything. you'll find out

[mediumgayitalian]

Nico really fucking hates capture the flag.

Well, not always. Last week was fun. Last week was the annual Everyone Against The Stolls (to atone for their crimes), and Nico got to chase Connor around at top speeds, cackling, committing his shrieking and begs for mercy to memory. That was nice. That almost made him forgive the fucker for digging a trench under Nico’s unwelcome mat for him to fall into at seven thirty in the godsdamn morning.

But tonight’s game is boring.

He’s been standing, alone, at the base of the flag for the past forty bajillion hours. He’d raised a few dozens skeletons to spar with at first, since animating them to fight himself isn’t technically against the rules, but that got dull fast. (It isn’t much fun sparring with a partner who doesn’t have a brain. He already has to do that enough with Percy when he comes to visit camp.) He’d climbed the various trees around the clearing, or at least he tried until he got reamed by the dryads for climbing on a manner that was too annoying (?), and tried his hands at a few summoning spells. Nothing held his interest long.

And now he’s just standing, doing nothing, and he’s not allowed to leave. He has to stay in this stupid spot on the off chance that someone comes stumbling over to fight him for the flag.

“You’re our best swordsman, she said,” he says mockingly, beaming the nastiest vibes he can manage in Piper’s vague direction. “We need you on our defensive line, she said. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.”

His checks his watch. He groans. He looks critically over the grass, looking for a softer patch, and when he locates it he throws himself dramatically upon it, groaning louder.

“This sucks!” he yells, to no one.

“Will you shut up!” shouts back the dryad he pissed off earlier. “For the love of photosynthesis! Fuck!”

He bites his tongue hard to hold back laughter. (If he can avoid getting his entire cabin overgrown with prickle bushes again, that’d be great.) “Sorry,” he calls, trying with everything he has to sound contrite. Convincing his father to fight the Titan War was easier, actually. Acting is not his calling.

“Hmph!”

At least listening to see if she’ll come out and yell at him again provides something to ease his boredom. Yes, he’s going to regret bothering her, but in his defense, solo guarding is cruel and unusual punishment. He’d rather sit by an outlet with a fork and see if he can poke and let go fast enough to avoid dying. That at least would be interesting.

A rustling of leaves recaptures his attention, and he pauses.

“Holly?”

When no one answers, which is odd because she’s taken every opportunity in the last hour to either insult him or pelt him with stones, he lifts his head.

“You’re not going to scare me, dude. I had my fear glands surgically removed to become a better soldier.”

Not true. Obviously. But a fun bonus of being the camp weirdo is that no one doubts anything he says. He’s working on convincing everyone younger than him that he needs weekly tributes of chocolate delivered to his door every Friday or the dead are going to take over the world. So far, it’s working.

“Look, Holly, I’m sorry about the zombie, okay, I promise it didn’t mean to sneeze part of its brain on you —”

The rustling sounds again, only this time Nico can see that it’s not Holly’s tree, and in fact she is nowhere to be found. Alarmed, he jumps to his feet, shifting so he’s balanced on the balls of his feet, poised to attack. Is Piper’s plan failing? Has someone actually managed to make it all the way over here without getting (gently, probably, although they lost the last game and Piper gets cranky without dessert) maimed?

The rustling sounds for a third time. This time, an armoured someone stumbles out of the underbrush, tripping over their own foot and nearly landing flat on their face.

Nico has his sword at their throat in a millisecond.

“Wo-oah, Morbius. That’s probably my least favourite sword you could stab in me.”

Nico goes bright red. “I have never wanted to stab you more than right this second.”

Will, chest plate skewed to the right, quiver completely empty, and black paint smeared under his eyes, snickers. He puts a finger on the tip of Nico’s sword and pushes it away from his neck.

“The opportunity was right there, babe. I couldn’t not.”

“You really, really could. In fact at all times, you should remember these words of wisdom: shut up.”

“…Damn. Inspiring.”

Nico rolls his eyes, but the effect is somewhat lessened by the smile on his face and the obvious pleasure in his expression. He’s even feeling merciful enough to accept Will’s kiss, although his sword keeps a good amount of distance between them. (Will’s on the blue team, after all. It would be unprofessional to be fraternizing with the enemy.

…Well, too much, anyway.)

“What’re you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the other archers, sitting in trees and causing havoc.”

Will shrugs, grinning lazily. “I quit. This game is senselessly violent and I’m Against It On Principle. I’m a pacifist, you know.”

“Uh huh.” Nico raises an eyebrow. “I assume this doesn’t count you choking Cecil out in a headlock, this morning.”

Will opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. He closes it again.

“Cecil is my mortal enemy,” he grudges after a moment. “He doesn’t count.”

“‘Course not. Not like you cried for two hours when he went to visit his mom last weekend or anything.”

“Will you — stop saying I cried. I barely teared up, okay. Barely.”

Nico can’t quite force down the stupid grin that pulls across his face, matching Will’s, nor can he resist grabbing the leather straps of his boyfriend’s armour and hauling him close.

“You better not be here to distract me,” he mumbles, leaning close and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Will hums, settling his hands on Nico’s hips.

“Nope. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Drama queen.”

“Excuse — I am the least dramatic, I’ll have you know. I’m a pinnacle of solemnity. I am a shining beacon of stoicism. I am — mmfh,” He trails off. “Okay, doing this now, mhm.”

Nico smiles triumphantly into the kiss. Will, he has found, is very easy to shut up, despite his long-running nickname of Motormouth. It’s almost like he has an off button that can be accessed only by Nico sticking his tongue in his mouth. Nico is doing his civic duty, honestly. He should be compensated for his service.

(‘Course, doesn’t hurt that Will smells, like, really good, all the time, and his lips are soft as hell and he is actually quite the kisser, in fact. That is definitely a fun bonus.)

He smooths his hands over Will’s shoulders, travelling up the sides of his neck and settling in his hair. Will keens, slightly, when he wraps a finger around a frizzy golden curl and tugs, slightly, when he scratches his nails along his scalp. The rush of power at the feeling makes Nico dizzy, and his sword clatters to the ground as he busies himself with more interesting — and important — things.

Like pulling more of those sounds from his boyfriend’s throat. Or making his knees buckle, again, like he did the other night — gods, that was good, it made Will flush scarlet and Nico feel like he was fuckin’ floating, to have Will so needy and touchy and totally at his mercy —

“Free line to the flag! Go go go go!”

Nico startles, whirling towards the sudden cacophony of noises. To his horror, what looks like half the camp, helmets shining with plumes of blue, comes pouring into the clearing, weapons raised, voices mixing in one long, victorious shout. He lunges for his sword, but before he can grab it, two strong arms tighten around his torso, pinning his hands to his side.

Immediately, he knows he’s been set up.

“Oh, you — fucker!”

He feels the curve of Will’s grin against his neck. “First shower privileges for a whole month, baby.” He noses along his jaw, pressing an apologetic kiss to his cheek. “Couldn’t resist.”

Nico struggles, aghast, watching the once-red flag shimmer in Lou Ellen's hold to a bright, shining blue. “I am breaking up with you, you traitor, you Iago, you vixen — ”

Will snorts. He ducks down and pecks Nico on the lips, again, and again, and then shifts to his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his temples, his forehead, and all over his face, making louder and louder mwah sounds until Nico is laughing, punching his shoulder and shoving him away.

“Okay! Okay. Let me go, you villainous toad. We will discuss how much you’ll have to grovel for my forgiveness after Piper finishes yelling at me for getting distracted.”

Will presses one last kiss to his nose, smiling cheekily before stepping away, heading towards his boasting team. “Enjoy that lecture! Love you!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nico rolls his eyes, resting his aching cheek in his hand. “Love you too, asshole.”

[tadc-harlequin-au]

🚨 🚨 🚓 This blog right here officer! This is the one that started my Caine simping and Showtime appreciation! Take ‘em away! 🤨 📸

(No but seriously, your designs are freakin’ amazing and I absolutely love the way you draw mecha and Pomni/Caine. It’s a feast for the eyes 👁️👁️

*throws this WIP at you as appreciation*

NYEH!

NO WAIT PLEASE NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL FOR THE SAME REASON AGAIN

Omg thank you!!!! I am very honored to have incorporated another to the showtime appreciation cult..... AND THAT WIP HELLO??!?!?!? HELLO!???!?!?!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME NWGRIKBGUERTBUGJEWRVGWUJBGVEURJ

GOBBLING AND SLURPING AND EATING THIS UP LIKE A FIVE STAR BUFFET

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

☀️for all papyrus☀️

His s/o points to his neck and asks if he likes the new perfume, then as the skeleton leans in, surprises him with a tender kiss on the forehead.

Undertale Papyrus - Well done. Very well done. He didn't see this coming. You win this time. But if you expect The Great Papyrus to stay on a defeat, you're wrong. Be prepared to be tricked to death for him to kiss you back. He's a master of traps, you think you can win? He won't let you. He might be so excited you find him later hanging by the feet in the kitchen as he fell into his own trap to catch you. You kiss him again. Now this is just a war declaration.

Underswap Papyrus - You kiss him then you hear a loud "thump" as he was so suprised he didn't realise you were not holding him and fell face first on the floor in a pathetic "nyeh?!". Now, with the face entirely orange, Honey is slowly sinking in the floor to escape embarrassment. He can't believe he just did that.

Underfell Papyrus - He flushes furiously and immediatly straightens, like you just burned him. His face is bright red and he's doing all he can to avoid you eyes as the good tsundere he is. He coughs awkwardly, whispers a small "you smell nice" and walks-runs out of the room to go lock himself in his room. He needs a moment to recover.

Horrortale Sans - He raises a brow. "IF YOU WANTED A KISS YOU COULD JUST ASKED." He then kisses you back, making you blush furiously instead. He is really proud of himself as he's going back to his cooking. Willow has no shame. That's a game you can't win, he's too powerful for you.

Horrorswap Papyrus - He lets go a soft purr as he's slowly blushing, suddenly all shy. He can't really kiss you back since he doesn't have an inferior jaw so he just rubs his face against your chest and hugs you close to show he's happy.

Horrorfell Papyrus - He quickly tries to escape to mask his feeling but he forgot the breaks of his wheelchair are still on. It's funny looking him struggle so much to get away, more and more distressed as his face is blushing. He's trying so hard to avoid your stare.

Swapfell Papyrus - Your lips find paper and you frown, before noticing a UNO reverse card sticked on his forehand. You gasp loudly when suddenly the huge skeleton throws himself at you for you to smell him while he kisses you instead. You're screeching in shock, so loudly Nox comes out of his room to make sure you're not getting murdered. You beg him for help, he just rolls his eyelights at you, flips his bird and leaves. RUDE.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He got startled. So he headbutted you instinctively. Now you're both on the floor, whining in pain as both your heads are hurting. His face is bright orange and he keeps apologizing again and again, scared you're mad at him. You're just laughing hysterically. Wine walks in, stares at you like you're a moron and leaves, still staring at you judgementaly.

Outertale Papyrus - And here he goes. Sun is so happy he starts to fly and finds himself stuck on the ceiling, face entirely blue. He needs a few minutes to come down.

Dancetale Papyrus - He stays still for a second, shocked, then looks at you intensely. Oh boy, here he comes. Salsa drags you to him and starts kissing you all over your face and neck. Oh dear.

Dancefell Papyrus - You try to kiss him but he suddenly makes you fall in his arms and kisses you instead. You think you can trick him that easily? Try better. His dating powers are too strong for you.

Farmtale Papyrus - He runs away, in shock. You find him a few minutes later hugging a sheep in the barn, looking like he fought in a war or something. As soon as he sees you, his face turns bright orange. He can't talk anymore. He will be like that for a few days.

Mafiatale Papyrus - He puts a hand in front of your mouth. How do you want him to sniff you if you try to kiss him at the same time? You then go for two very long awkward minutes where he sniffs your neck intensely. Demon is looking at you two from the couch, frowning and deeply concerned about what the fuck you two are doing. You want to disapear.

Mafiafell Papyrus - He gasps loudly as he realises he was tricked. How dare you did this to him at his weakest moment? Yeah, he's very dramatic as he stomps off, blushing furiously. A few minutes later, you hear him screech in the closet of his office, and you can't stop smiling.

Disbelief Papyrus - Oh. He blushes, all shy, and slowly kisses you back, desperate for more affection. You start to pet his head, it's over. Delta ends somehow on your laps, hugging your waist, his face burried in your stomach. Yeah, it's cuddling time apparently.

[thewonderingbard]

Hi cool people! (I don’t know if I’ve sent this ask so I’m really REALIY sorry if this su a repeat. Ny gold fish mind is depleting today)

How would the skeletons react to S/O wearing their clothing and it shows all the right curves? (Let’s say Male S/O)

-🍿 anon

Hello 🍿 anon!

I'm going with that male!S/O has borrowed their shorts or a shirt.(Or hoodie in Honey’s case)

Undertale Sans - Vanilla

He is bright blue. However, he doesn't miss a beat before saying

“Look at you~You’re making my BUTT pressure go through the roof” 

He is making butt puns allnight.He can’t help it! It's not his fault his S/Os curves are very well-defined in his shorts! He giggles to himself when his S/O gets all flustered because of the butt puns!

Undertale Papyrus - Paps

“NYEH!!!”

His darling S/O…IS EVEN MORE HANDSOME IN HIS SHIRT. He knew his datemate was attractive before but GOD DAYUM.S/O IS MEETING ALL OF HIS STANDARDS. STARS ABOVE! He adored S/Os curves before but now he knows his shirt makes them stand out. He is giving S/O twenty of his shirts.

Underswap Sans - Blue

He is speechless. His jaw? It is on the floor. He didn't notice his S/Os curves before(he is more of a personality type of skeleton) but NOW? My gosh! He can not get enough! He is calling and telling S/O all the compliments. Handsome.Dashing.Attractive.S/O is all of the words. He now insists that S/O always wears his shirts.

Underswap Papyrus - Honey

S/O has broken him. To say Honey appreciates his S/Os curves is an understatement. He LOVES them. So when Honey sees his S/O in his hoodie, which perfectly defines S/Os curves. He is lost for words. He quickly regains himself and wraps his arms around his S/O.HE BETTER NOT HEAR YOU DEGADING YOURSELF OR ELSE HE IS GOING TO FIST FIGHT YOUR BRAIN. Yeahhhhhh he now gives you plenty of his hoodies.

Underfell Sans - Red

He absolutely loves it when his S/O wears his jacket but when S/O decided to borrow his shorts to go out in? His skull is as red as a cherry. Somehow his shorts defined S/Os curves! He stutters over his words and gets so flustered he has to take a minute but when he comes back with his signature smirk and says something like

“And where do you think you’re goin’, baby boy?”

He makes S/O change because he is not letting anyone but him see his handsome S/Os curves.

Underfell Papyrus - Edge

He smirks. He has done this on purpose.S/O asked to borrow his shirt for a formal event. Edge gave S/O one he knew would be a bit small. And now? His dapper S/O dressed to the nines stood in front of him in an outfit that perfectly defines his S/O’s PERFECT curves. And bless the stars he loves it. He pulls S/O to him by the waist into his chest and says in his best ‘non-loud’ voice

“You look simply DIVINE~,My Prince~”

Horrortale Sans - Seaweed

LISTEN. This skeleton knows a thing or two about worshipping curves. So when his S/O is wearing his shorts…he is practically on his knees. He is throwing you compliments left, right and centre. That is it you are not allowed out looking that attractive. Into his hoodie, you go for a cuddle session. He honestly does not care if S/O has somewhere to be! S/O is now ‘busy’ with him worshipping S/Os curves and cuddling S/O.

Horrortale Papyrus - Papaya

If you thought Paps liked his S/O curves. This Skeleton is DEVOTED to his S/Os curves. He knows it means S/O eating well and he knows it's probably his food that has done this to S/O.He is not complaining. For a monster made out of bones, he can appreciate some extra muscle. He also loves that S/O is in his only t-shirt ( Papaya prefers not showing his arms).He was never going to wear it so it is S/Os now!

—-----------------------

Thank you for the ask!

I hope it turned out okay

-Morganna

[curlygirlybitchachos]

Padawan Reader

*Y/n after losing an arm, while on a mission with Anakin*

Y/n: I'm not allowed to lose limbs on missions.

Anakin: don't worry kid. I got this. *makes Y/n a prosthetic arm* here. Better than the old one.

Y/n: Obi-wan gonna be mad... And Cody will kill me.

Anakin: nyeh. Just be careful and they will never knew.

~a few days later~

Obi-wan: Y/n? Can you give me a hand dear one?

*Y/n casually throws their hand to Obi-wan*

*Cody watching the whole screen ready to a mental breakdown*

~meanwhile~

Anakin, scared: oh no...

Rex: what?

Anakin: he knew....

[amarmoria]

Sempiternal 11

⊹ ⭑.ᐟ Yao x Reader ⊹ ࣪˖ᝰ.ᐟ

Synopsis: 10 days in some spa center with your family wouldn't be too bad right...?

Previous | Next

Wc: 1.6k

"I absolutely love how we have separate rooms with mom and dad" Zoe says, launching herself on the bed, you sit on the noiseless mattress as it bounces you, it's big, and clean, and bouncy, and tall, it's like a hotel room, 5-star hotel room. You let yourself fall on the cold and newly ironed bedsheets, even then it smelled like strawberries, or lemon, maybe both, you couldn't point your finger at it, but it makes you wanna shut down for the rest of the day.

"Yeah, I hope they don't keep fighting.." you whisper the last few words as Zoe pauses from her bed, slowly turning her head to you.

"Don't worry about it. They planned the retreat so might as well make it bearable for us"

"I guess.."

She frowns as she sits up, her legs crossing. "You worry wart"

"Hey! I'm not a worry wary!"

"Uh huh"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yeah HUH"

"Zoe!" You playfully threw a pillow at her, though it only hit the wall..

"Then stop worrying about nothing."

"I'm not worrying about nothing Zo.."

"Uhh, yes you are"

"Fuck you," you grumble, then it was your turn to sit up. "Since when then huh?"

"Since forever?!"

"Since never! I've never been a worry wart, it's called being curious, helloo?"

"Nyeh nyeh nyeh"

"Zoe!"

"Zoe!"

"I hate you" you laugh, continuously throwing pillows to her side and as did she. "You love me"

"Uhh eww!?"

She gasps, holding her chest like some grandma who heard you curse. "Oh you don't get to call me ew!"

You squeal as she hops from her bed to yours, the both of you bouncing very high as she attacks you at your sides, you screech and try to pry her hands off, you've never escaped her tickle wrestle once, especially when the twins gang up on you.

Oh.

She frowns as you abruptly stop laughing, she tries tickling your sides again, but you give her a tight lipped smile and sit up. It was only now that you'd noticed the ruined pillows, their feathers scattered across everywhere, you might've even found one near the bathroom floor, but you didn't care to stay in that subject any longer.

You stare far away at the window, it was open, a pretty blue sky would've made you think this was heaven, but that's where you brother is, not you, your here, reminded everyday of the things you three used to do.

That night, you didn't want to give him the leftovers from dinner, so you sneaked to the kitchen to hide them, but he was already there finishing every last thing in the fridge, including your newly bought chipotle bowl, so naturally, you got mad st him, smacked him, and called him a bad brother, you wonder if it was you, what if you just let him finish your food, would he even be here.

You look over your shoulder to Zoe, who was worriedly looking over to you. "I'm sorry.."

She doesn't say anything, only getting up and sitting behind you, the foot of your beds were facing the balcony windows so anyone could be watching, but who would wanna watch a crying session other than the birds and the trees. Zoe hugs your shoulders, rubbing your arms continuously as you let out a breather.

"I'm sorry, I, I didn't, it," you can't even finish what you wanted to say, your mind was saying a million things but your mouth can only say so much.

"It's ok, I'm here.."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" you repeated the words like a mantra, your grip on her arm tightened at every hiccup you get while bawling your eyes out. "Hey, hey, it's not your fault okay? It was never yours, don't blame yourself for it alright? I. Love. You, you hear me?"

She was now kneeling in front of you, cupping your cheeks in her hands, her thumbs wiping away your tears and doing the. work for you. "Y-yes, yes, me, me too"

"And don't blame yourself, don't"

Only just a few seconds when you finally calmed down, you liked how Zoe seemed to understand you even when you didn't say anything, it was always so easy with her, everything was, that's why you'd always stick to her every now and then when you don't have anything to do, you didn't have to worry very much when you're with her.

"I'm gonna go check on them," she pauses, mid-way to opening the door. "Are.. are you going to be alright here?"

You blinked, you hesitated in coming with her or stay, you wanted to see if your hunch was right, that they fought, and beat Zoe, but you also wanted to stay here and tidy up, the thought of the staff coming in here and seeing the mess makes you grow hot, you've only arrived and already caused a mess, especially when you assumed they'd just finished cleaning the rooms.

"I- I'll stay here," you shoot her a smile. "..tidy up after you know.."

You gesture to the feathers as she chuckles evilly.

"Okay, have fun~"

You laugh and throw one last pillow at her, you can hear her laugh outside when the pillow hits the now closed door

"Go away now!"

You didn't realize your mistake when your eyes focus on the shrewed feathers. You weren't too fond of cleaning, honestly you don't like cleaning, and the thought of doing it clearly takes a toll on you when you let yourself fall on the bed, you didn't really want to clean, at all, aside from your nose itching whenever you're near dust, you don't like the look of dirty, messy, unorganized stuff, but your also too lazy to clean it. Your eyes zone out on the non moving ceiling fan, the crystal made fan sparkling from the sun, you wonder how much it was, you assume it's super very expensive, as expensive as your house, maybe, but not impossible, rich people who don't know how to spend their rich money.

That's when a knock interrupts your thoughts, you groan while sitting up, the gears on your head turning, weren't the guests supposed to be in quiet and peace after arriving here, oh gosh, what if they've come to collect you out of your fake rooms and throw you in their cells, and now you've doomed yourself by not coming with Zoe since your in the scene of the crime and they're going to punish you for ruining their pillows!

"Hello?"

You freeze at the voice, oh my goodness, you haven't even finished your smoothie, your driver's license, and you still wanted to travel to other countries.

You gulp and peeked through the hallway to the door.

"W-who's there?"

"It's Yao, miss," you can hear him shuffle outside, it sounded like big bags. "Why— what are you doing outside?"

"Uhh I'm here to—" you can momentarily hear a loud, but not too loud bang on the floor, tour heart lurched, no way they brought you a casket, your not going to even get a cell, you're going straight to the coffin.

"No, I, it's okay, I'm, I'll stay here, inside.."

You hear him chuckle. "So you're going to wear that for the rest of the day?"

Oh good lord, he's here to get you changed for your funeral.

"... Y-yes, I don't, I won't let you in here." You stood your ground, planting your feet on the floor and crossing your arms, you weren't going to die today, not ever, you still haven't gotten a boyfriend yet, not even a first kiss.

"I, uh, think you don't quite understand little miss," you almost flinch when he chuckles, no, you won't be deceived so very easily. "What are you laughing at?"

"I'm— I'm not laughing—" once again, you hear him walk away from the door, his laugh fading out the more he goes, coming back as he clears his throat.

"We have a protocol for—"

"No!" You stomp right in front of the door, still not opening it, even just a peek. "I'm not letting you in! I came here so that my parents can enjoy the vacation and heal! And now your little website about, about stability, ha-happiness, and other lies when you're only job here was to scam us and, and kill us and put us in cells o-or coffins and torture us!"

You huff, swallowing the growing saliva in your mouth. The silence was deafening as you waited for his response but nothing came out.

"A-and, if you're, you're here t-to lock me up in a coffin then I'm not letting you."

And yet again, you waited a few seconds for him to answer but was only met by the buzz of the ac. So you slowly and quietly opened the door by a pinch, you scan the hallway for him but there was nothing, so all this time you've been ranting to nothing, to literal air.

You feel yourself growing hot. How can you even get passed this? Good thing no one was present and heard you, pretty sure you were loud enough for it to echo in the hallway, althought they wouldn't know who you were anyways.

You look down when your knees bump something.

"Isn't this..?"

Your luggage? You frown as you spin it around, yes, it is yours, it has the small stickers in the right place, how could it not? You whip your head on the hallway, tryna find any signs of people, or him, but looks you everyone was outside, or maybe exploring.

Was.. was this the thump you heard earlier and not a coffin..?

Oh gosh.

Nope, no, no way, you can't live like this, you didn't think your day could get any worse, you've embarrassed yourself for countless times already, you really hoped he didn't hear the coffin part..

[pet-cemetery-emotes]

HIckey EMOJI OR VAMPIRE BITE MARKS. PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

Various bitemark emoji! + Blood drips :D Full tooth set, and vampire fang-specifc :3

If you don't mind re-requesting hickey, I'd like to attempt that when I have energy next! But I was able to get these done before I crashed so. Throwing them up. Nyeh

[noowayybroo]

Vampire Man Drabble (NSFW)

I've been rewatching Young Dracula, a BBC show from my "childhood".

I'm kinda obsessed with Count Dracula. I know it's a kid's show but he's so pathetic and whiny and throws so many tantrums, but being such an old man he's so sexy and posh and UGHAAGAH HE HAS MY HEART!!

Also , the guy who plays him (Keith-Lee Castle) Lowkey fits the role so well!!?!?! He looks like SUCH A VAMPIRE!! (I wouldnt look him up idk if hes the best guy)

SO I WANTED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME IDEAS, and i know most of my following is admittedly looking for Leon content, so if you squint really hard, or maybe read this with one hand if you catch my drift (nyeh heh heh) maybe you can imagine it's about vampire Leon HEhehehehe

Warnings: Guy is vampire, reader may be human or vampire. NO SEX BUT VIOLENCE. GN!Reader, mentions of scenting, old age, violence, age difference, vampirism, blood, biting, seduction, mentions of death and killing and blood driking. Secretly soft vampire man etc basically all your vampirey shit, STOP READING THEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT BRO, I'll try keep it short k ily bye.

THIS IS A GUIDE:

Stuff about the vampire man

Stuff about the reader being a vampire

Stuff about the reader being a human

THIS IS A RARE TREAT FOR ANYONE READING THIS CUZ I USUALLY LIKE TO WEAR THE FANGS IN THE RELATIONSHIP!! JUST SAYING!! BUT THIS MF HAS MY HEART!

Vampire who was turned at a young age or born into vampirism and has lived with it for oh so long. He's just so old, alone in that castle of his. He's moved to live near humans, but they seldom get a chance to converse, not before his fangs wind up in their necks.

Vampire who watches them go about their short little lives, knowing with confidence that he has and will live many more. Aware that he'll be the end to many more, deadly prowess easily eliminating each hunter or slayer who dares come his way.

Vampire of whom nobody has seen the true colours - only the pristine white of his fangs before they are soiled with the blood of his victims. They only know his rage and strength, and the power and force at which his claws slash at their flesh, at which his fangs sink into their necks.

Vampire who prefers to seduce his victims before plunging them towards their inevitable demise. He will sing them such a sweet lullaby; allure them with gentle praise and affirmation as he draws close, weaving such a sticky web, leaving them entranced. And entranced he is too, as his victim perhaps gazes from a window, or into space itself, but his only captive is the soft melody of his victim's heartbeat. The gentle rhythm, the pulse of their neck drawing him to them like a moth to flame.

Vampire Who almost feels like the victim himself. He was not a monster. He was no villain. No, he was simply wired this way - a victim of his own nature. It was his prey, the cruel, heartless beast who tempted him so dearly with the promise of 8 pints of warm, thick red (accounting for clumsy, desperate spillage.) Oh how he delighted in the feel of it coating the expanse of his hungry throat.

Vampire Whose second favourite method of the hunt is to toy with his prey, for it is no fun if they are not fearful. His cold, undead heart remains unliving for the thrill of the chase. He'll stalk them through the night, he'll become one with the shadows, and only when he feels they are worthy of feeling true fear will he present himself. Springing from the darkness, his soul's only twin, he reveals himself at last like a god unto its disciples.

He will forever delight in the screams - in the sight of each harrowed soul in that moment.

Vampire who is humiliatingly theatrical and old fashioned. When he bears himself to his prey, he must give them a show. It's the least he could do, as it will be their last living moment. He'll either expand his cape, or brandish sharp claws, but either way, his eyes will be dark as night, and piercing fangs will ward off any hope of survival each sacrifice may have had.

Vampire who takes great excitement in tormenting his prey. He is old fashioned, cunning and sly. He'll chase you around an abandoned building and use his supernatural speed to appear right behind the door you thought would bring you victory. He'll mock you with a skeleton, only to refer to it as a future you. If you're fortunate, and he's not too hungry, he might even show you his vast collection of stored blood. Again, he promises that one day, you have this to look up to.

Vampire Surprisingly, he is not as violent or as cruel as it may seem. Sure he kills, and he kills for fun. For the mere thrill of it. But he will not let you die slowly, or painfully at all. He prides himself in how... happy, his victims really can be. His torture follows suit. Scratch you? Harm you? Him? Never. He could never. He wouldn't waste a drop, after all. (Intentionally, that is.) He'd much rather promise you a terrible demise, or chase you towards your doom, having you believe begging or running could really help. His many years have taught him that each effort you make is futile. He will always win. He will always consume. You are not special.

Vampire who sometimes, well after sunset, will stare out of his lonely, dusted window at the town below. He will wonder if it could be possible that there is a chance at love out there for him still. A chance at redemption. A chance to, perhaps, not be so devilish.

On rare occasions, too, say once every 20 years, he thinks this as he stares into the eyes of one of his captives. He'll wonder, sometimes as he hypnotises their free will and thought away, whether he really needs to kill them. But then it's that look on their face. One of fear, or one of braindead submission. It's again, the sound of their heart, of their breath, something he hadn't done in forever, something he yearned to be so close to, to be so near to, and before he knows it, they're limp in his arms, and cold, just as he.

Vampire who throws tantrums on the rare occasion that his prey, or more likely another undead creature or demon, is able to overpower or trick him. He'll slam his fist like a child and bare his fangs. Wailing and wallowing in his own pathetic defeat as black curtains obscure his face. Thunder and lightning will crackle outside, heeding his call, and otherwise, the world will resume. It was sad for him, really, to have so much power, and at the same time to be so insignificant.

Vampire who, despite being immortal, is getting old. He doesn't care for sports, nor for going outside and exercising as a human would. When he chases at a speed, he more floats rather than runs, and so, he's getting rusty, physically and mentally. Perhaps that explains the demise of his fearsome reputation and outlook. Perhaps it is why he is going soft. Laughlines rarely show, but small crowsfeet grace his pale skin as he smiles or bares his fangs. His joints begin to creak. He can no longer do some of the things he could when he was a younger biter without being heard, and he grumbles at simple tasks such as tidying or standing up. He ages with the walls around him.

Vampire Reader Insert:

Vampire who catches a fleeting glance of you at a traditional vampire ball. Really, the two of you are too old for these pathetic customs, him more so, but how else was he to catch up on all the latest fanged gossip, and perhaps find an evil someone to accompany him as he grew older?

Vampire who afterwards goes out of his way to make eye contact with you. When he thinks you're not looking, he combs his nimble fingers through his long hair, preening himself, cursed to never be able to see himself in the many mirrors that surround him. He curses himself, adjusting his over the top attire, wiping any blood from his face. He wants to catch your gaze, just as you have his.

Vampire who can (respectfully) smell it on you. He can tell that you're strong, and that you're dominant. He never thought he was looking for someone, really, especially with his strength and title. It had only really occurred to him that anybody interested would be there to use him. And then, he saw you. Something about you was so devilishly evil. So charming. So alluring and strange. He didn't care if you used him. He wanted you to, suddenly he wanted you to take all he had.

Vampire who anxiously makes conversation with you. He is respectful, despite being well above your status. He can't keep his eyes from your body and face, nor his tongue from his lips as it darts to keep them moist. Quietly, he hopes you're taking note. His hands fiddle and preen. He needs you to enjoy what you see, for it is so rare for him to do so.

Vampire who eventually you begin to court. He practically begs you to move in with him, forming his castle as a home for the two of you. No longer is he alone. Even if you were to betray him now and take all he had, he kept some satisfaction in knowing he wouldn't die alone. Perhaps one day, too, an heir would come from all of this.

Vampire who shares with you some of his powers and wisdom. Who accompanies you on hunts and who works with you to lure prey. You enjoy romantic, playful flights together (as bats, of course) and he, without admitting it, enjoys your dark humour and evil presence in his home. You bring a smile to his face, and a blush to his dead cheeks. You're oh so beautiful and precious in his life, and as more and more time passes, he can imagine giving everything to you.

But what if you're evil, and planned to take everything all along? Well, that would be a fitting demise for him, he thinks as he slowly closes the lid to his coffin beside yours just before the sun rises. And it'd make you all the more evil and devious of a sinner, and that's what he loved about you. Your company, even if not genuine, for love was so twisted and warped for creatures such as yourselves, meant more than words could ever express. If he were human. If he were pumping blood, you would warm him.

Human reader here!!

Vampire who'd never have thought any other humans would be foolish enough to simply let themselves into his castle, at least not this decade! You were the third one this century and it was really getting old. He'd think with all the rumours going around about people never returning alive, or the danger of the castle's crumbling structure that nobody would come back, at least not alone, but here you were.

Vampire who can hear you from rooms away as you walk in. You're human and you're alone. That's all he needs to know to identify that he's safe, and so, he creeps towards you. He balances with both hands and feet on ledges above your head, blending perfectly with the shadows as he stalks you like some huge, predatory cat. And he does this until he can see you. You look divine. You smell divine. And really, he questions the work of some divine intervention, as he was just craving fresh blood the moment you walked in: A lamb to the slaughter.

Vampire who identifies that the blatantly open castle door was how you got in. He didn't really feel the cold, and the wind howling was a permanent sound with how high in the castle he tended to reside, so silly him had left the door open. You must have really thought this place was abandoned. He almost pities you as you walk around, shining your phone's flashlight about. He just about ducks away in time to avoid being spotted as you point your phone at him, blissfully unaware of the danger that lurked just above you, ready to pounce.

Vampire who held off, though. He was excited by your presence, and he was oh so hungry, but he was always one to play with his food. He continues to follow you through the shadows, practically salivating and his bustling ideas of how to torment and devour 'this one.' Because, initially, that's all you were to him, food.

Vampire who daydreamt (although it was night) about chasing you through his crypt, hearing your screams for mercy and salvation. He could sit there and munch dead carcasses in front of you just to watch you squirm in horror. He mused to himself about how warm your neck would feel to his lips, and how your blood might taste. He considered how your voice may sound, begging to be freed as he holds you there, firm hands on your shoulders, claws pricking at your soft flesh. He imagines you there, before him, ripe for the taking. The last moment, he opens his eyes and you're gone-

You're gone.

What?

Vampire who looks around desperately, realising that he'd so easily been swept away by his fantasies. And so, he follows your scent and the sound of your soft heartbeat to his room, where, he could swear he hears you murmur "I knew it."

Vampire who catches you gawking at his closed coffin, regal and fancy. You run your small hands over it in awe as if there isn't a blood thirsty creature of the night ready to pounce out and devour you. You seem.. in awe. You look fascinated. Of course, there's a twinge of terror in your face, but for some reason, you haven't run... yet.

Vampire who figures the game is up, and tries to salvage a dramatic entry. He can't appear in the coffin and reveal himself like that, incase you're a slayer and it leaves him vulnerable, and so, from behind you you hear:

"And what brings you to my humble abode?" The question is long, and drawn out, in a posh voice that almost makes you giddy. You can hear the bloodlust dripping from his fangs, and you don't need to turn to see the man who's so close he should be gracing you with his breath. None comes. you know what he is.

Vampire who grins sadistically as you turn on your heels, slowly. He is amused to see the fear finally registering in your features. Oh, and how soft and delicate those features were. He could just reach a hand out and brush his cold digits over them. But he won't. This isn't a time to console you. It's time to instil fear in your soon to be dead heart.

Vampire who gawks when you finally respond to his question. Something absurd about knowing there was a vampire living here. Something ludicrous about actually having visited a few times but never seeing him. Something utterly offensive about whether he lived alone or had a family. The man's jaw clenched. It seemed he had never encountered a victim as chatty or simply curious as you, and he didn't quite know how to feel.

Did you WANT to die or something?

Vampire who towers over you, with eyes wider than your own as he listens to you rattle off about something or other. He doesn't register what you're saying, though. Instead, his mind wonders off to somewhere it never has before. Perhaps, he'll hypnotise you to make you scared, and then he'll have his fun with you. Yes, that should work, because right now, he found you far too distracting.

Vampire who realises, once you've shut up, that actually, there's a more nagging matter:

"Are you here... to kill me?" he asks, looking down at you, shoulders slightly deflated as though you've sucked the prowl out of him.

"Like a slayer?"

"Exactly-" he raises a finger that could really do with a manicure, but you cut him off

"No, not at all, it's just when I heard people went missing... well I just thought this place would be perfect to see a vampire." In all honesty, you kept yapping away in hopes that tears would not prick your eyes and that somehow it'd save you from imminent collapse. You were terrified. He seemed very much real.

Whilst you were in admiration of the pale beast before you, you did not intend to die.

Vampire who fortunately for him isn't letting on just how well you crept under his skin and made a small home there. His senses were conflicted, as a result of your mixed signals, and he wasn't sure how to react. You were scared, he could smell it. He could hear it in the heavy fast thump of your heart. But something else had brought you here. You were curious. Intrigued. You wanted to learn about him, and in a way, he related. He wanted to learn about himself.

Vampire who, whilst he is still very much appealed by the idea of biting into your throat, is starting to enjoy how your hushed voice echoes off the walls of his home. You sounded sweet and pure, unlike any vampire he'd encountered recently. You had a passion. You had a reason to live, and it almost sickened him with jealousy.

Vampire who can no longer fight his newfound impatience as he lets out an animalistic growl, clenching his fist before you with means to silence you, and to his relief, it works. Your mouth slams shut and you stare up into his eyes. He recognises that this, if any, is his perfect time to hypnotise you, and to fix things. That's right. You'd forget everything you've seen and heard, because your words made you slippery, and he feared for his own existence if you escaped, and then, you'd be scared of him. He'd toy with you, kill you, and it'd be over with. Then, he'd be happy once more, and could return to his coffin, without any linger questions of "what if?".

Vampire who waves two fingers before your eyes, ensnaring them and guiding them up to fall onto his. You watch as his dark, brooding eyes become a more perplexing, strange and beautiful colour. A look of mischief tugs at his sharp, dark lips. He has won. Now, he'll hypnotise you, and it'll be over with. Why did he keep telling himself this? It was starting to become tiresome- just do it.

Vampire who freezes up when he hears you enquire about whether he know the science behind his eyes changing colour like that. You swear a vein in his forehead is about to pop. His mouth hangs ajar, defeated. "Look, you, just look into my eyes" he commands, almost pleading in that sultry, dark voice. "Just look and obey..."

Vampire who stares at you for a while, staring into those pretty, captivating eyes of yours. He finds himself lost in the possibility of what to command you, and once he's finally ready to will the words, they disobey him. His mouth moves, but no commands grace your ears. Eventually, you blink, the spell is broken and he clasps his fists shut, growling low in his throat.

Why can't he do it?

Vampire who gives in, providing you with a tour of the castle and all of his ancient belongings. The understanding is that once he's done, you leave, and never tell anybody anything. He wasn't sure if he trusted in you, but hypnosis was out of the question. And since his ordeal of failing to control you, he'd felt quite humiliated. His hunger had been somewhat satiated for now.

Vampire who hides his scarce smile each time you make certain remarks about how gothic, deadly or edgy everything looked. Your modern lingo was beyond him. "Cringe", "Edgy", "Rad", "Babygirl", what did it all mean? At one point, whilst you're analysing a particularly old suit of armour, he stands behind you, arms folded and lips pursed, trying to conclude the meaning behind the umbrella term "Daddy issues" and why you felt the need to mention it to him on now an astounding three separate occasions. When you turned to face him though, he'd stiffen his gate and fix you a menacing glare as if he despised of your company.

Vampire who walks alongside you with perfect posture, his arms are often crossed or still by his side. Occasionally he glances at your neck as he concludes a whole half hour of walking his dinner around his rather shameful home. And then, you both find yourselves at the door. You look up at him, he looks down at you, and then you do something neither of you'd expected.

"Can I stay?"

Vampire who freezes up yet again at your question, but after some stumbling and stuttering, and getting his tongue tied up in his fangs, he reluctantly spits out a 'yes.' All the while, his face contorts, unable to form the words. It's so peculiar speaking at all, let alone to a human. And, he can't say he's ever spoken to one willing to continue risking their lives. You weren't sure why you did it. You just did.

Vampire who stands with you, watching over the town beneath his window, for once, with someone beside him. He seems stiff, and tense, and he cannot ignore your scent, nor the sound of each gentle breath and pulse of your veins. It was only natural: He was your predator, you were his prey. He was meant to kill you now, merely driven by instinct, and yet, he felt content to wait. I mean, it wasn't as if you'd run off in a hurry, was it? For once, a breather like you actually wanted to stay and speak to him. He was almost enamoured.

Vampire who swore to himself in this moment to never admit to another soul, dead or alive, light or dark, how your warmth touched him. He refused to allow himself to snuggle right into you from behind, wrapping his strong arms around you and nestling his face into your neck, not to bite or mark this time, but to kiss, and indulge- softly, sweetly. He groaned at the thought, startling you. And then his face hardened, snapping you another glare as if you were the one who had been having such pathetic fantasies.

Vampire who understands that, as a human, you grow weary in the night. He'd forgotten all this time that putting you to sleep would be a great way to shut you up, but there was a reason for his forgetfulness. It was, of course, convenient, because he no longer wanted to silence you. He wanted to bask in your words and warmth; in your conversation and curiosity. You made him feel important, and interesting, and slightly more alive. But the sun would be up soon, and if it caught him, well. He'd be the furthest from alive he's ever been.

Vampire who quickly brushes off and tucks you into the softest bed he can find from memory, and taps you on the nose gently as he leans over you, casting ominous shadows which block out any hopeful rays. He laughs menacingly, brandishing his fangs as his deep gravelly voice reverberates through you "Goodnight, don't let the vampire bite, now, will you?" he teases as he slowly sinks into the shadows, leaving you alone. His low chuckle follows him into the dark.

Vampire who leaves you alone to rest peacefully, or not, depending on whether a) you COULD sleep, and b) he became hungry during the night.

Vampire who spends the rest of his waking moments wondering just what to do with you, until the sun rises, and he returns to his cold, depressing coffin.

Hi guys I really hope whoever of you saw that liked it. I had the idea at about midnight and it's now 2 27 am. I wish I were this productive with literally anything else but due to a series of unfortunate events I crave old, posh, dominant men with soft spots, and this fits the bill.

I'd also like to write more about vampy men, and about maybe teachers or just other older men heheh but also subby men!! and the reader being a vampire!! so please lmk what you think and don't be afraid to ask (just a warning your rq might take me 24747 years to address, it's not personal i just suck)

THANKS GUYS I LOVE U ALL

[paper-lilypie]

omg….. rome ants….

[sweetside]

🎃Trick or Treat🍬

It's the spookiest part of the year, everyone Nyeh nyeh Nyeeeeeeh!~ Or not if you reblog this in April or something.

So let's celebrate this most wonderful time of the year with our muses!

Send 🎃 or (Trick) to give my muse a piece (or multiple pieces of candy) from the list below!

Send 🍬 or (Treat) to let my muse choose a piece (or multiple) from the list below. (Im not liable if some of the less bright muses decide to not read the effects before consumption.)

Remember that the muses' Mun can pick out the candy sent to them if they don't want their muse eating it.

The Options:

🍭(Lollipop) : Upon eating this, the eater gains 10 lbs.

🍪(Cookie) : Upon eating this, the eater gains 50 lbs.

🍫(Chocolate Bar) : Upon eating this, the eater gains 100 lbs.

🥛(Milk dud) : Upon eating this, the eater's bust size doubles.

🍑(Peach Sweet): Upon eating this, the eater's butt doubles in size.

🍐(Pear Gummy): Upon eating this, the eater's hips double in size.

🍌(Banana Marshmallow): Upon eating this, the eater grows 1 foot taller.

🫐(Berry Gum): Upon eating this, the eater's skin starts to change into the colour of the berry the asker specified (Blueberry by default), The muse also slowly fills up with said berry's juice.

🥝(Kiwi Pop rock): Upon eating this, the eater's hair grows 1 foot longer.

🧃(Juice box): Upon eating this, the eater gains a months worth of muscle.

🍋(Lemon Lozenge): The eater's personality becomes stubborn and sure of themselves!

🍯(Honey Drop): The eater's personality becomes sickeningly sweet and optimistic!

🧂(Salt Toffee): The eater's personality becomes outgoing and vocal!

🥒(Bitter Pickle): The eater's personality becomes spoiled and self-entitled!

🌿(Mint sauce): The eater's personality becomes more confident and concerned about their identity!

🥡(Leftovers): The eater's personality becomes more lazy and lethargic.

⚡(Energy Drink): The eater's personality flips upside down, becoming the reverse of what it is!

🪥(Tooth paste): The eater's personality resets to their original one.

🐺(Moon pie): The eater turns into a Werewolf!

😺(Kit Kat): The eater turns into a Cat Girl/Cat Boy!

🐟(Swedish Fish): The eater turns into a Mermaid/Merman!

🐰(Candy Carrot): The eater turns into a Bunny Girl/Bunny Boy!

🐮(Milk bottle candy): The eater turns into a Cow Girl/Cow Boy!

🦇(Red Licorice): The eater turns into a Vampire!

👻(Sugar Glass): The eater becomes a Ghost!

😈(Spicy Sucker): The eater becomes a Devil or Demon!

🧶(Strawberry Laces): The eater becomes a construct! (Like a doll or golem or maybe even a Frankenstein!)

🐵(Gum): The eater becomes a human!

🔴(Mars Bar): Turns the eater Male!

🟡(Venus Wine gum): Turns the eater Female!

Additional Details:

(These can be added to the ask to change the candy's effect.)

🪙(Cheap candy): Flips the candy's effect to be negative. (Doubling becomes Halving, etc.)

🏠(Home-made): The candy's original effect is ignored. Instead the effect is decided by the asker. (Beware that this is the type of candy Mun's are most likely to throw out.)

✖️(Charity): Doubles the effects of the given candy.

🍿(Grab bag): The Mun must randomly roll for what candy their muse gets.(Note: There are exactly 30 pieces of candy to choose from.) (Though they can still throw it away, or roll again.)

[glareandgrowl]

Here, take an AU I have no time to do anything with! NYEH!

Anyways, unfortunately I can’t do anything with this, even if its super cute and a great idea. Since I’ve already got TWO OTHER LARGE STORIES CURRENTLY GO READ CIGARETTES AND ASSASSINS!

(And a new 4 chapter bodyswap smut AU)

I guess I’d call it, “Ice Rink AU” with figure skater! Kiyotaka and Ice Hockey Captain! Mondo.

I haven’t thought of this AU outside of the context of like... one scene?

So if anyone wants to take this AU from my hands and make something with it, just make sure to tag me in it so I can see!

Also if anyone does plan on doing anything with this AU, feel free to message me if you had any inquiries about my ideas, or questions! Also also also if you have any story related questions about any of my Au’s, feel free to throw them at @fauxpaux my writing blog!

[tobiasdrake]

Guess I'll wrap things up in town and head to the re-sleepover.

Okay, last time I was here, I weirded out this child. This time, I'm gonna TRY. HARDER.

Jackpot. Children love puns about their favorite thing. Now this small child of no clear importance thinks I'm cool.

That is very important to me.

I don't know why.

FROG SPELL

Nyeh heh heh heh heh! I have discovered the cheat code to being popular with kids. It's frogs. The cheat code is frogs.

Now if only I could extend that popularity to adults.

And my teammates.

And now. We have. THE FLOWER. Aggggggggh the flower. So much pressure. Hmm. Maybe I can bribe Bonbon into not hating me.

HEY HALF-PINT, PRESENT FOR YOU

Because I'm trying to improve our team's cohesion and the friction that exists between you and me is basically our only interpersonal conflict. Consider this an olive branch.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and call this one "Mission Failed" since I'm pretty sure I just made things awkward and weird. There might not be a way to bury the hatchet with this kid. They're under a lot of stress.

I just want to know who keeps breaking the bread. I was specifically watching for it and it still crept up on me. I blinked for one second - Well, okay, I had a brief chat with my Lemonfriend about ignoring all of you but that's beside the point - and then there was just this hideous CRACK and the bread was ripped in half.

How!? WHEN!? WHO!?

You could just tell me now and then I'll know it so when I die and you've un-told it to me I can spare you the embarrassment of telling me.

Then again maybe we should keep it on the down-low to avoid making my Lemonfriend jealous. I'm sure they're listening in on every word we say. They're clingy and stalkerish like that.

Wow. We're back here again already. In my defense, I DID check for traps. I very briefly skimmed each pillar so I'm pretty sure there has to be some sort of complex--

Well. Okay then.

I now realize that the cause of my death was, in fact, that I suck at my job. Cool.

I would make a remark here about "going to crawl under a rock and die" but the boulder has a sense for ironic timing so it's best not to chance it. Let's just flick this stupid switch and move on.

Done. Mistake unmade. No longer have I died a clown. DO YOU HEAR THAT, LEMONFRIEND!? I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY NOT DIED.

BOOM, nothing to worry about now. It should be smooth sailing from here. Let's go commit regicide with extreme prejudice.

Cutlery is an interesting subject matter, actually. There's a lot of differentiation in individual sizes, shapes, and compositions of individual cutlery that contribute to a variety of different meal experiences. Even chopsticks come in many different forms.

But this would fall under the category of etiquette. I'm not quite sure if Madame Odile's field of expertise falls into that wheelhouse. Though I could see it....

Hey, give me some credit. You know how hard it is to cheat gratuitously under four different sets of watchful eyes?

You call it cheating. I call it speed practice. That's the kind of manual dexterity that lets me throw signs so fast.

Well that's fucking dangerous. THANKS FOR JUST BRINGING IT UP NOW, BONNIE. What if I slipped on that?

<.<

>.>

What... if I slipped on that....

Zero hesitation. FOR SCIENCE!

YES

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Okay. We have proven that my lemon drop powers will still bring me back in time even if I'm frozen in time. This is a very useful piece of information to establish, so it's good to get that out of the way before we meet the King while the risk is still....

...

...while the risk is still....

...

Oh. Wait. That could have been really bad for me. If that didn't work then--

LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT HAHAHA I'm sure my Lemonfriend wouldn't have left me strander there. It's fine. The important thing is that I now know my ability to loop is immutable even by time.

This is what PROGRESS looks like. >:D

[kaipersonlol]

Hell's great rulers, King Lucifer and Queen Alastor. power couple, literally.

dialogue:

Lucifer: My Lovely Doe~

same drawing without effects but with shading and no writing

and finally no effects or shading/writing

there. have some RadioApple. or DuckieDeer, if that's what you prefer. they doing some things adults do(while respecting asexual Alastor, ofc!) Lucifer totally simps over his new tall wife. and she has more *sass* and the ring he wore was changed for a different one by the new queen herself. Lilith no happy whoopsies.

*throws like a child* NYEH!

and yes i was too lazy to color and do cool shit with the chair

[punsmaster69]

27/JAN/20XX

winding his arm back, papyrus' paper airplane took flight.

he and undyne leaned forward to watch exactly where it would land.

"WOOOOOO!"

throwing her arms up.

"I reign SUPREME!!"

"YOURS WAS BARELY AN AIRPLANE! IT CAN'T COUNT!!"

"If mine doesn't count, then Sans' doesn't either."

he looked straight down from the side of the balcony to look at the paper ball that sat plainly in the grass below.

it's the only thing keeping him from being in last place.

"......"

looking determined as he yanked out another sheet of paper from the pile. he folded an airplane, bending the wings up on the side and the. hurling it with a

"NYEH!"

as hard as he could.

it crashed into the grass just right of my paper ball.

"good throw. maybe too good."

"ARGH."

"HOLD ON."

folding the same thing once again, he tossed it with much less force.

the airplane glided over right beside undyne's.

"A TIE?!"

"NO! I'm going a-"

she slammed her fist and accidentally sent all the papers off the balcony side. the colorful sheets fluttered around the yard.

instead of going to chase the papers, the two decided it was a good tiebreaker.

"IF THAT RED ONE MAKES IT FURTHER I WIN."

"If that green one goes further, I'LL win!"

(intense paper watching.)

"NYEH HEH! I WI-"

i pointed to a blue paper that had landed at the very end of the yard.

"...."

"...."

mouths agape.

"That can't count, surely."

"..THERE'S NO REASON IT DOESN'T."

sighing, he turned to me.

"YOU... WIN. SOMEHOW."

"cool."

"winner says..."

"you two've gotta clean the yard."