#obi has visions and thinks nothing of them

[starlazergazer]

You Promised

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request(s): Hello love! Could I request something with Anakin x reader where he’s out on a mission and gets hurt maybe knocked unconscious for a bit and when he wakes up he’s like “she’s gonna kill me for getting hurt” and when he gets back gets an earful but also lots of cuddles <3

Was recently watching Hunger Games Catching Fire idk if you’ve seen it but there’s this one scene where Peeta gets hurt then Katniss like freaks out and Finnick saves him and realizes shes in love with him and I was imaging that scenario with Anakin so maybe you could write something like Anakin getting hurt on a mission and oc freaking out thinking he’s gonna die and Obi-Wan or Rex can just tell 😭

Warning: Angst! A lot of descriptions of chest compressions. It has a super cute ending though I promise!

Word Count: 4k

A/N: I went ahead and combined two that were super similar so I hope that’s okay. I actually really like how this one turned out so please enjoy! As always let me know what you think love you guys!!

Obi-wan was on his knees.

That was the only thought that echoed in your head.

Obi-wan Kenobi, the general, the Jedi master, the great negotiator, member of the jedi council, was on his knees. Why was he on his knees?

Everything seemed to move in slow motion around you, every noise fading into the background as you tried to move forward, the very air seeming to fight against you as you did so.

Gloved hands clasped around your arms, holding you in place, a modulated voice you recognized registering in the back of your head but you didn’t pay attention to any of the words said.

Why was Obi-wan on his knees?

You tried still to push forward but those hands held you back, halted your every movement, white and blue armor entering your field of vision, trying to block your view.

“whats-“ you couldn’t even get your whole question out, weren’t really sure how to finish it.

You clawed at the armor before you, tried to use it to pull yourself forward, to Obi-wan, you had to get to Obi-wan.

“Kid you don’t want to go over there” Finally the voice broke through the haze, because that was Rex’s voice, his nickname for you. But why was Rex here?

“No I need to-“ you weren’t really sure what, you needed to get to Obi-wan, that was all you knew, that everything in your screamed that you had to get to Obi-wan.

“Let the general work” Rex’s voice was smooth, clam.

But Rex was supposed to be with Anakin, Rex was always with Anakin, Rex had Anakin’s back, Rex kept Anakin safe. So why was he here without him?

That was the first time you really processed the scene before you, the fact that there was a person over there with Obi-wan, a person Obi-wan was kneeling over, a person beneath Obi-wans interlaced hands, a person wearing all too familiar boots with their toes pointed to the sky.

Your gaze cut to Rex, as if you could get confirmation from the man’s helmet, as if he could tell you anything but what you already knew, as if he could fix everything.

“The general has him Y/N”

And somehow hearing him say your name made it worse. Because to him you weren’t Y/N you were general, jedi, kid, anything but the gravity that came with your name.

You like to think you’d decided then that you’d feel guilty about it later, but truly the action came without any forethought. Your hand came up with a mind of its own, your energy focusing just enough to give Rex a push through the force, not enough to hurt him but enough to get him out of your way, because right now you needed to get to Obi-wan.

You ran without checking on Rex, ran calling out Obi-wan’s name not missing how the general never halted his movements, and slid down across from him onto your knees not noticing the way loose gravel and glass cut into them as you did so.

Obi-wan was saying something to you, you acknowledged that, but your focus was planted on nothing but Anakin’s unconscious body beneath his hands.

He looked peaceful, too peaceful for the way his body moved beneath Obi-wan’s rough compressions.

“no no no no” it took you too long to realize it was you repeating those words, that your body was rocking back and forth softly, your hands balled up painfully in your hair, trying to do anything to ground yourself, to make yourself wake up, to give your brain anything it could latch to that would make sense.

Because it couldn’t be Anakin lying there without a heartbeat, it just couldn’t.

“Y/N” a shout of your name snapped you out of your stupor, your gaze snapping up to the Jedi master before you.

His eyes never once strayed from his hands on Anakin’s chest.

For the first time you took in the state of Obi-wan, noted the worry he tried to force down that was slipping through his eyes, the way his lips were parted with heavy breaths, the sweat that clung to his brow.

You’ve known Obi-wan for years, the man had been through more than most people experience in their lifetimes. He was a general in the republic’s army, a man regularly sent to the front lines to lead, the person you called to the table when you wanted to negotiate. Obi-wan Kenobi did not sweat.

“Obi” his name left your lips in a whisper, as a prayer, pleadingly.

The Jedi’s eyes cut up to meet yours briefly, his compressions never once halting “I know”

The man’s voice wasn’t scared, wasn’t broken, but it wasn’t calm either, it was just empty, hollow, the voice of a man who had cut himself off from everything, focusing on nothing but the task at hand.

It almost scared you more than anything else.

“No no he can’t he-“ you begged, who you were begging to you weren’t sure at this point “he promised he would be okay, he promised he would be careful, Obi-wan he can’t”

The words fell from your lips your mind barely attaching meaning to them as they passed.

“Rex” Obi-wan called without a second thought, paying you no mind as his attention shifted to the newly arrived reinforcements, a horde of clone troopers descending on the two of them completely blocking your view as Rex carefully pulled you back.

And you knew they were there to help, knew that Anakin should go with them, that if anyone could bring him back it was them.

But in this moment all you knew was you were being separated from him and you weren’t sure if you were ever going to see him again.

Desperately you screamed Anakin’s name over the crowd, watching as his body was hoisted by a few troopers and carried towards the nearest starship, ardently fighting against Rex’s hold as he kept you in place.

“No no Rex please I need to go with him” you begged the clone captain “please I can’t leave him alone he can’t be alone”

The captain did his best to calm you, softly shushing you, holding you in place until your movements started slow, your legs giving out from beneath you as the ramp to the starship that took Anakin ascended, effectively sealing him from you.

Rex followed you down to the ground, arms that had caged you into him softening to offer comfort instead as you watched the ship takeoff “Rex he can’t die he’s my-“ and you couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence, chocking on the word friend. Cause that wasn’t quite right, that word wasn’t enough, and it seemed that only when faced with Anakin’s flatlined heart that you could admit that to yourself.

Fate was a cruel thing.

Rex’s hand made its way to your shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze as he rocked you back and forth softly “I know Y/N, I know”

-

The first feeling Anakin noted after waking was not pain but rather stiffness.

The bright lights assaulting his unacclimated eyes he could get over easily, but the way his own body fought against him from the moment he opened his eyes, the way it seemed to protest just his breathing, that got to him.

“Well hello there”

Three simple words and Anakin was calm, the tension in his body melting into the mattress beneath him as he took the time to take a deep breath and try and relax.

Obi-wan was here, and if Obi-wan was here then everything was okay, because no matter what shit he had gotten himself into, and over the years there had certainly been a good amount of it, as long as Obi-wan was by his side he knew he could get out of it.

“Where am I?”

His voice sounded weak to his own ears, his very vocal chords grating as he tried to speak, only then realizing how thirsty he was.

“medical unit” Obi-wan answered, coming to his bedside to help Anakin sit up, passing him a cup of water once he was sure he could handle it “I must say we’ve had a lot of close calls in our days my friend, let’s never get that close again”

Anakin just hummed in response, greedily gulping down water.

“What do you remember?”

Finishing the glass Anakin handed the empty vessel back to his master, taking a moment to rack his mind, trying to sort through a jumbled mess of memory. “we were on Corellia” he answered hesitantly “the separatists were attacking we were there with Y/N I think, she went off with her clone army and…” the words died on his tongue, the emptiness of the room hitting him for the first time. His wide panicked gaze met his masters and Obi-wan read his expression easily.

“she’s fine, she had to brief the council”

Anakin sagged back in relief, his breath taking a second to right itself once again “okay-okay good. She’s okay. She separated off and told me to be safe then I-“

“did the exact opposite” Obi-wan supplied with a half smirk, relishing the way that same panicked look grew once again on Anakin’s face in response.

“shit” Anakin swore under his breath, bringing the heels of his palms up to rub at his eyes.

“she’s been by your side since she got to Coruscant” Obi-wan replied, crossing his arms over his chest “had to threaten expelling her from the order just to get her to go give her debrief”

Anakin could only groan in response, his posture slumping further as he did so “scale of 1 to 10 how likely is she to kill me?”

Obi-wan chuckled in response “oh my dear padawan we surpassed double digits long ago”

“it was that bad huh?”

Obi-wan was silent for a moment, hand coming up to rake through his beard in response, a tired sigh escaping him before he spoke again “the first time she saw you since the moment you separated off was when I was giving you chest compressions-“

“Well I’m here now that’s got to be worth something right?” he tried, earning only a single brow raise in response.

Another heavy silence fell over the pair before Obi-wan broke it “After seeing her reaction to finding you like that I feel it is my duty as your master to warn you against forming attachments” Anakin nearly rolled his eyes at the same tired old speech, Obi-wan cutting in to continue speaking before he got the chance to do so “however, as a friend I will say you ever put that girl through something like that again and breaking the Jedi code will be the least of your worries”

Anakin nearly laughed in response, the smile dying on his lips once he brought his gaze up to meet Obi-wans and seeing the seriousness that those eyes held. All words clogging in his throat as he was only able to force up a measly “yes master” that at least seemed to placate him for the moment.

Obi-wan’s posture straightened suddenly, eyes cast towards the closed door as he sensed a presence Anakin had felt coming minutes ago. “I believe that is my que to leave”

Giving Anakin a small bow Obi-wan made his way towards the door, pausing when Anakin suddenly called out “Master…thank you”

Obi-wan smiled warmly in response “It’s good to see you breathing again Anakin. Do your best to keep it that way”

Opening the door Obi-wan paused just in the doorframe, conversing briefly with someone he knew to be you before disappearing.

The entryway to Anakin’s surprise remained empty, empty for long enough to make him worry.

Despite everything though your form crept through the doorway, seeming almost scared to see him.

And though Obi-wan had told him you were okay Anakin couldn’t relax fully until he finally was able to lay eyes on you.

You, however, stayed as tense as ever just inside the door, eyes wide and panicked, gaze pinning him to the spot.

Anakin was almost afraid to move beneath your gaze, afraid any wrong move would break the spell and have you yelling at him.

Cause maker he knew he deserved it but he just woke up, he was alive, and he thought seeing a frown on your face after everything would kill him all over again.

The stare down lasted a tense few seconds as you scanned each other, Anakin noting the bandages wrapped around your palms, the badly bandaged cut on your brow. Maker how many times has he told you to see a medical droid after an assignment instead of trying to do it yourself, some bacta and it would be gone in minutes and he wouldn’t have to stare at the physical reminder of his own failure to protect you, of your own vulnerability.

The two of you seemed to snap out of it at the same moment, finishing your physical examination of one another at the same moment, because as Anakin took a deep breath and started to push himself up you were bound across the room in a near sprint.

Your arms were around his neck within the next second, your body planted in his lap, your chest pushed flush against his. And every part of him hurt with it but he didn’t care for a second because you were in his arms and the only thought running through his mind was that he needed you closer, that no matter how hard he pulled you into him it wasn’t enough because he was alive and you were here and nothing else beyond that mattered.

Much to his displeasure you were pulling back much too quickly and he tried to fight it, tried to keep you against him, tried to seek comfort in your arms as long as possible. But then your palms were cupping his cheeks and all thoughts in his head ceased, your wide eyes were looking directly into his and Anakin could do nothing but freeze, your nose brushed against his and Anakin forgot how to breathe. Then your lips were against his and Anakin suddenly wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t actually died back there.

But Anakin had thought about this too many times to hesitate now, he kissed you back just as fiercely, just as hungrily, one hand coming to the back of your head, fingers threading themselves into your hair at the base of your neck as he pulled you into him, his other hand finding your waist and pulling, seeking out any sort of physical reminder that you were here, really here.

But there you went pulling back again, ending the kiss much too quickly for his liking. He tried to follow you back, tried to pull your lips back to his but you were too stubborn, why did you always have to be this stubborn?

Before his mind could even process what had happened, before he could even mourn to loss of your body against his, your hand was raised and Anakin felt a sharp sting on his cheek, a pain he was only 60% sure was new at this point.

He forced his eyes open only to be met with the anger in your eyes he had been expecting since you had walked into the room.

You were pulling back again, getting up from the bed to your feet, fingertips trailing down the sheets that separated his body from yours absentmindedly but leaving a trail of sparks in their wake for Anakin. He tried to reach for them but you were too quick pulling them back, coming up to stand alongside his bed.

He could acknowledge you were talking now, or rather ranting fit it better, but he was too busy trying to reach you, trying to pull you back down on top of him, too busy cursing his every ache and pain that kept him from standing up and following you.

“cannot believe you thought it was a good idea to go off on your own what were you thinking? No scratch that I knew what you were thinking and it was nothing-“

Your words vaguely registered in the back of his mind as you paced back and forth, scolding him. “you’re right, I’m sorry, come here” the words rushed out of his mouth as he tried to reach out to you again.

But you never even acknowledged that he had spoke, continuing your rant without a hiccup “you cannot keep doing this to me, to Obi-wan, to Rex, throwing yourself into every dangerous situation without any regard for your life-“

And all Anakin could focus on were your lips as you spoke. Was it just him or did they seem slightly pinker than before? Slightly swollen. A soft sheen on them from saliva, his saliva, maker how he wanted to add to it. He hummed non-committally to whatever you had just said.

You hadn’t even looked at him as you ranted, your eyes planted on your feet as you paced rapidly before his bed “you promised me you’d be careful and this is how you thought you would go about upholding that promise? Because I have news for you if you really thought that was a good plan-“

He hadn’t even gotten the chance to really enjoy himself, enjoy the feeling of your lips against his, the taste of you on his tongue. With every second that passed with you still all the way across the room he became less and less convinced that the kiss had really happened. At this point he didn’t really care if he had imagined the whole thing he was just desperate to recreate it.

His bed shook slightly as your hands came to rest on the foot of it and your eyes for the first time this entire rant connected with his and Anakin’s focus finally zeroed in, yours seeming to do the same, the both of you acknowledging in that moment you hadn’t listened to a single word the other had said in the past five minutes.

Another tense silence passed, each being unsure of what to say to the other, before a tear falling down your cheek broke it. “Ani I found you while Obi-wan was doing chest compressions, I only found you after you had died”

And for the first time the weight of his own stupid actions seemed to hit him. Because he could tell himself that he was doing it for you, or for Obi-wan, but truly Anakin hadn’t ever thought about what would happen after he made the decision to do something stupid. And here he was dealing with those consequences.

You were scared, you were scared and sad and Anakin had done that to you and he wasn’t sure he could forgive himself for that.

“Y/N please” he begged softly, one arm extended out to you.

And finally you listened to him, too slowly making your way back to his bedside, and Anakin wasted no time in wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling your head into his chest.

You went willingly, your arms wrapping around his torso, burying yourself into him with a relieved sigh as Anakin buried his nose in your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“I’m so sorry Y/N” he whispered into your hair and for a second you didn’t respond, simply stayed in his arms, listened to the sound of his heart beat, reminded yourself he was really here, before replying, your voice muffled slightly by his shirt.

“You better be Skywalker”

And despite everything Anakin couldn’t help but chuckle at your threat, arms tightening slightly around you as he fondly kissed the top of your head once more.

“If I promised to be more careful would you kiss me again?”

It came out in a teasing tone but you froze at the question, your entire body tensing beneath his touch before slowly pulling back to better look at him, your eyes wide in panic “maker I kissed you”

“you did” he agreed eagerly, hand coming up to cup your cheek.

You brushed aside his hand without a thought, your panicked state leaving Anakin much too amused “I didn’t even ask you or warn you or tell you how I feel I just kissed you, maker Ani”

“And I’m asking you to do it again” he chuckled, hand wrapping around your wrist and giving it a small tug trying to pull you back into him.

“I could’ve ruined everything” you continued to rant, eyes unfocused as you spoke “We’ve known each other since we were nine and I just kissed you like that wasn’t going to change everything what was I thinking”

“I’m thinking if you don’t kiss me now my heart may stop…again”

Your response was immediate, one fist shooting out and connecting solidly to his shoulder causing the jedi to groan softly “Ani that’s not funny”

Nonetheless Anakin took advantage of the way you leaned forward slightly to hook one hand around the back of your neck and crash your lips sloppily into his, a happy groan escaping him once you had finally connected.

Yet again you were pulling back but Anakin learned from his mistakes, never letting you get far. “I want it on record this does not mean I condone you injuring yourself”

“You got it sweetheart” Anakin mumbled back without much thought, pulling you back into him to let your lips connect once again, relishing the few seconds you eagerly kissed him back before you pulled back once again.

“And you can’t just say whatever you think I want to hear just so I’ll kiss you”

“mhm sure whatever you want baby” he responded with a hum before pulling you in again, an exasperated groan escaping him when you once again pulled back too soon.

“I mean it you have to promise me Ani”

Anakin’s other hand came up to cup your check, gaze desperately seeking out yours as he held your head mere inches from his own “I promise you I will not put myself unnecessarily into danger going forward” and without giving you a chance to respond he was kissing you again, committing every second to memory as he threaded his fingers through your hair.

Your hands planted on his chest as you pulled back again, barely getting out your “and one more-“ before Anakin was responding with a simple “no” pulling you back into him, the Jedi’s desperation making you giggle against his lips as you happily kissed him back.

[frostbitebakery]

LOUD.

part one two three four five

Obi watches over him like a shadow the first few weeks he’s in the Temple.

Anakin will wake from a memory-nightmare and his protector will sit on the windowsill, bathed in the ever changing lights.

His warm hand will stroke over Anakin’s hair, soothing and more comforting than words could ever be.

He will offer Anakin to sit with him, watching Coruscant through the transparisteel. And Anakin will inevitably end up cuddled up to Obi’s front, falling asleep with Obi’s heartbeat under his ear, the breath in his lungs.

.

The identities of the Shadows are almost considered inviolable. Due to the nature of their chosen path, secrecy is a tenet they adhere to strictly.

The Council knows who they are, and maybe there are one or two Council members who are uncomfortable with how close to the Dark Shadows operate. But as a whole the necessity is understood.

The Jedi stand and fight for the Light, the balance, for bringing peace and help to those who need it. A calling like that inevitably brings enemies and the need to even the playing field.

“Beacon of Light,” Obi-Wan repeats, hands moving in disbelief.

And code names. It was only a matter of time before he got his codename.

“Fitting, we think it is,” Grandmaster Yoda says, amusement twinkling in his eyes and frog tea.

“Of course, Grandgrandmaster Yoda,” Obi-Wan signs, slipping in the extra grand flawlessly, which results in the sign turning grand to ancient. If Yoda gets cheeky with him, he can very well retribute.

Master Tholme coughs a laugh into the sleeve of his robe.

“Congratulations, Master Kenobi,” Master Windu says warmly and Obi-Wan ducks his head, loses the fight against the blush spreading across his nose. “Master Tholme has prepared a briefing package for you where you can access all relevant information. Like the code name for the Temple here on Coruscant.”

Master Tholme inclines his head in agreement, solemn twist to his lips Obi-Wan knows not to trust. “Old Folks’ Home.”

Obi-Wan wishes he wore the mask so he can wheeze in peace.

.

Jedi move different from the people Anakin has seen so far in his life. They flow, they’re carried by a breeze. Gravity doesn’t have a hold on them unless it suits them. They move like they’re one with nature, detached from sentient-made life and creations.

And then there are a few, like Obi, who move with the undercurrent, with the wind just above the ground. Who vanish with the shadows just to reappear around a corner.

They’re not stalking the enormous hallways or sneaking around like bandits.

Anakin doesn’t think they’re doing it consciously, reflecting attention away from themselves as if they aren’t even there.

Obi’s friend Quin moves like that, too, when he forgets himself, somehow managing to disappear while walking in the middle of the floor.

Quin is a strange one.

But Obi-Wan…

Anakin bites his lips to keep from giggling, hands gripping the banister tightly where he’s peeking. He doesn’t think they’ve noticed him yet.

The training salle they’re practicing in is huge, obstacles dotting the ground for them to leap over or off, hide and take the other off-guard.

It seems impossible, the way they fight and lure each other into traps. Obi is especially good at that. He’s directing Quin into exhaustion he can’t defend himself in anymore, and it’s amazing to watch.

Nothing and no one can beat Obi-Wan. He’s too clever for that.

“I will never stop calling you that, Beacon of Light,” Quin laughs when he jumps out of a roll and onto his feet.

Obi-Wan signs something, his back to Anakin which is aggravating.

He’d change position but both Jedi move around too much.

Quin shakes his head. “Shut up, you know it suits you.” He takes the lightsaber off his belt. “I bet you blushed like a meloroon in season.”

Obi changes into a blue glowing blur in answer.

.

Obi-Wan wants to know where he went wrong. What he did to— He thought the connection between him and Cody—

His vision is swimming, oxygen mask placed over his nose and mouth pumping more than air into his system.

His fingers weakly tap the message on the receiver of the comm device he broke off Cody’s suit during the fight. “Beacon. Light. Force.” Hope and the Force sing to him, even as his doing is detected.

Cody roughly rolls him onto his side, takes the device out of his hand where he had hidden it behind his back.

“The Emperor wants you alive, traitor.”

He’s removed his helmet. The one Obi-Wan had destroyed while it was still on Cody’s head. Just… Cody’s whole demeanor flipped to strange and other. He hadn’t made for his blaster during the fight. Shooting inside a rescue shuttle in the void of space at least still seemed like a bad idea even with Cody’s suit keeping him alive in a scenario like that.

But Obi-Wan couldn’t take that chance. So he’d smashed Cody’s face against a doorframe, breaking the visor and any choice Cody could make in killing Obi-Wan by sudden oxygen depletion.

Of course the fight took care to still break his lungs open, making him gasp for air even before Cody held him down and ripped the mask off.

Lying on his side is easier but the room has decided it is done with him and goes dark.

[heartofaskywalkerprincessleia]

Luke Skywalker is a hero for people with anxiety

(Contains spoilers from Episodes 4-6).

A lot of people relate to Luke Skywalker. He's down-to-earth, honest, and always strives for the light. Watching Star Wars again for the first time in a while, however, I realized something. When I looked it up on the internet, I was surprised that I couldn't find a lot of discussions about it. What do I mean? That Luke Skywalker suffers from anxiety.

The deleted scene from Tosche station, which I recently saw for the first time, sheds some light on this aspect of Luke's character. In the scene, we learn from Luke's friends that he panics easily. They're all chiding him for ‘again’ thinking that the Empire is coming. Even though he's just seen Princess Leia's ship fighting with Darth Vader's ship, his friends begin gaslighting him.

Someone online pointed out that this scene causes Luke's statement “there's nothing left for me here, now” to be more forceful. Upon finding out that his Aunt and Uncle are dead, Luke doesn't go to his friends for help. You wonder what his friends thought upon hearing that Luke's family had been killed by stormtroopers, right after he'd tried to warn them.

This aspect of Luke's character, and how he is treated by his friends, conditions him to not ask for help. In the ESB, as he's dying on Hoth, he never calls for anyone. If Obi-Wan hadn't shown up, Luke wouldn't have started calling out to him. If he hadn't started shouting, Han Solo wouldn't have seen him. 

This trend continues. Luke panics about things, but doesn't ask for help. Yoda tries to help him, getting him to relax and clear his mind. But, the vision of his friends worries him too much. He makes light of Obi-Wan’s warning that the Empire is after him for his talents. Luke is still holding onto what he told Biggs in the deleted scene from Tosche station–that the Empire will never draft him. 

During the fight on Cloud City, Vader acknowledges that Luke has learned to control his fear. Remember, Luke canonically gets so scared of the Sand People that he faints in the first movie. There's almost a parallel of that first moment, as Vader knocks Luke down and holds his lightsaber to Luke's throat just like the Sand People knocked him down before.

Luke has always gotten through things on his own. But, at this moment, he loses his hand. Losing his hand is symbolic of Luke losing the ability to do everything on his own. His father, who he always idolized and held onto, is evil. He's alone. He realizes that everyone was trying to protect him from this reality. Even his aunt and uncle let him think that his father was a hero, because it helped Luke to hold on. 

He finally reaches out to Leia. He finally forms a real connection with someone, which requires being vulnerable, and overcoming his fear of not being taken seriously. And, Leia rescues him. 

In the ROTJ, Luke tells Obi-Wan that he can't do this alone. He starts working with Han and Leia, and realizing that he is actually important to them. He trusts Leia enough to tell her that she is his sister, and that he has to save their father. 

But, still, Luke is trying to do everything on his own. He goes to face his father, and tries to be calm. He tries to avoid becoming angry. He tries to control the anxiety that got him ridiculed by his friends. The anxiety that led him to destroy Vader in his vision during his training on Degobah. The anxiety that he sees as his greatest flaw. 

But, he panics. He goes after Vader, and cuts off his hand. And, that's when he realizes it. 

All his life, Luke has wanted to be like his father. He praised himself for the positive qualities that are like his father. Being a good pilot. Being a Jedi (before he knew that his father was Vader). But at this moment, Luke looks at Vader's mechanical hand, and realizes that his father is just like him. His father is anxious. His father was scared, and overwhelmed once, just like him. His father didn't have anyone to turn to. 

Luke stands up to the Emperor, but that isn't what causes this scene to be so powerful. It's the fact that, as Luke is dying, he says the words his father once desperately wanted to say to someone.

“Help me.” 

“Please, help me.”

And Anakin, who wished someone would help him, who told Luke that it was too late for him, realizes that he can be that person for someone else. The pain he's gone through his whole life doesn't have to be passed on. He can save his son from the same fate. And he does. 

That's why Luke Skywalker is a hero for people who suffer from anxiety. Because he shows us the importance of accepting ourselves. Of self-compassion. Of reaching out to others. Of not being afraid to ask for help when we need it. And, if we do, we might just be that little spark of hope that someone else needs. 

May the Force be with you, always.

[doudouneverte]

Obi imagine

Part 1 - Obi Breakups up with Reader because of a argument. Can be because of anything but it’s bad. Maybe Accuse of cheating bad or something else? Anyway Reader ends up moving to a new club from Wolfsburg without telling Obi after the heartbreak. (Sad Ending).

Part 2 - After the breakup and not seeing each other for months? Weeks? They’re about to see each other again at the German national camp. Awkward, Reader tries to ignore Obi because she is still hurt, maybe gets close with another teammate which makes Obi jealous. Anyway it’s a mess and affects the way the team plays so the team try to get them to resolve their problems. Who knows maybe communicating is all they needed to do (Happy Ending).

a/n: thank you; that's a very good request

Up and Down

Pairing: Lena Oberdorf x EintrachtF!Reader; Laura Freigang x GERWNT!Reader(best friend); GERWNT x Reader

Summary: based on the request above

Type: angst & fluff

Warning:

word count: 2295

-----

Honestly, you didn't know how you got there. A few minutes earlier, you were having just a little heated chat, and now things were totally blowing up.

"-you're always acting like that!" The midfielder yelled at you.

"Lena, watch your tone..." 

"Or what? You'll also tell it to Laura, maybe?" 

Here we go again, you thought. Honestly, you didn't know how everything started. Laura and you have always been close; she was like the sister you never had. Even after you signed your first contract with Wolfsburg and hers with Frankfurt, things never changed between you two. And it was really cool at first.

But since a few months ago, you started to date Lena. And even if everybody was aware of your bond with the number 10 of Frankfurt, the midfielder didn't see it in a good way. Well, not at first. At first, she was more than happy to see how you connected on the pitch with your best friend, but quickly you also restarted to connect off the pitch. As much as you could, you were on your way to Frankfurt to see her or on the phone with her, and that started to piss off your girlfriend. More than that, she started to accuse you of cheating on her with your own best friend, which was totally crazy.

"Can you please not bring that again?" You were already more angry about where things were going.

"Why?" 

"Look, we lost, okay? I'm as angry as you, but right now Laura has nothing to do with that." Losing 4-0 was never a good experience, even more so when it's against your best friend's team.

"Of course she has something to do with it when she scored a brace and that you didn't do anything to stop her." 

"I'm a striker; that's not my principal job to stop opponents offensives. That's your job, so stop being mad at something you should have done!" You also started to raise your voice. To be completely honest, you didn't like raising your voice and even more on Lena, even when she's mean like that.

"You know what? I don't know why we decided to start this." She said with a seemingly quieter voice. "Maybe it was a mistake."

You took a moment to analyze what she said before asking, "What do you mean? What was a mistake?" 

"Everything. This match. Us. Everything." She replied with a light sob.

"Babe, you're not doing what I think?" You asked even if you already knew the answer.

"Sorry, Y/n but it doesn't work between. I think we need to break up and start to focus more on ourselves than us." She replied. There was a loud silence while you were processing everything.

"No, Lena, please, you can't." 

"I'm sorry, Y/n." She said while she made her way to the door of your apartment. "I'll ask Jule to pick up my thing during the week. Good bye." She finished her sentence by closing the door behind her, letting you alone in front of the door with a blurry vision drowned in tears and a last memory of your lover ending what seemed to be the best thing in your life.

This night, you cried a lot. The other half of the bed being totally empty was the principal reason. Even before you started to date, Lena had a lot of sleepovers at your place, and most of the time you would both fall asleep on your bed after talking for hours about everything and nothing, like you didn't spend almost all your day together.

Crossing that door broke not only your relationship with her but also your friendship.

A few kilometers away from Wolfsburg, your best friend started to worry when she didn't receive any text from you. You always texted each other after a game, even if you played against each other. It was like a silent promise that you made.

At first, she thought that you were just trying to seek comfort with your girlfriend, but when the next day, Jule called her to let her know that you hadn't contacted any members of the team for the whole day, it started to worry her.

You still didn't know why you did this, but after Lena broke up with you, you called Tommy and told him that you needed some time to yourself before leaving the city. The ride was like usual; you knew it so well for a while now. When you arrived at your destination, it was already past 12 a.m. You didn't have to make the call to know that she would be there.

Laura was desperately trying to reach you when she heard someone knock on her door. She didn't wait until she opened the door to face you. You were exhausted because of the ride, and from your face, she knew that you didn't sleep eight hours the previous night.

"What are you doing here?" The midfielder asked but didn't wait for your answer to drag you into her apartment. "Jule called me; she said that you didn't reply when she called you and that something bad happened yesterday." Your best friend told you, very worried, and when you replied with nothing but silence, her state didn't change for the best. "Y/n? What's wrong?"

Hearing this question made you remember why you were there. Tears started to roll down your cheeks, and you didn't do anything to stop them.

"She left me." You said between sobs, making your best friend look at you confused. "She broke up with me." You added before falling apart. The Frankfurt player held you in her arms, trying to comfort you while her jaw was clenched. She was ready to kill the Wolfsburg player.

"Hey, I'll prepare the spare bedroom and let you rest well." She proposed after you started to calm down. When you nodded, she stood up and took your bags and put them in the spare room.

One hour later, you were sleeping while Laura was just ending a call with your mom when she told her that you had decided to spend some time in hers. She was pouring a cup of water, trying to calm her anger, when she heard someone knock on her door. Once the door opened, the midfielder was greeted by two of your national teammates.

"Where is she?" Anyomie asked. Laura pointed to the spare bedroom with her head, letting the forward find you.

"I swear I'll kill Lena." Sara declared while she followed the younger player.

"Not if I beat you on that," Laura said.

"Did she tell you why?"

"No, she came; she cried, and I prepared her a room, and she fell asleep almost instantly." The defender hummed, trying to understand everything.

~~~~~

You spent almost all the week at Laura, sometimes leaving to see your mom, who still lived in Frankfurt. After that week, you made your way back to Wolfsburg. The rest of the season was not really better because you finished second, just behind Bayern, and lost against Barcelona in the Champions League final.

Because of the situation with Lena and because Wolfsburg was not too excited to make you sign a new contract, when Frankfurt proposed to you to join them, you accepted instantly. This move made you distance yourself from Lena for a long period of time. But things couldn't stay like that when you had your national camp.

At camp, it was clear that your situation with the Wolfsburg player. You knew it because of some glare some players sent to her when you arrived. Thankfully for you, you were quickly dragged away by Jule and a few Bayern players. While you were distracted, Laura made her way to Lena with an unreadable face.

"Oh, ooh, someone is about to get killed right now." Lina said, alerting Alexandra.

The two younger women walk away from any attention before coming back a few minutes later. Lena had a rather scared expression, while Laura seemed satisfied.

Whatever your best friend told your ex-girlfriend, it made her stay away from you for at least a few days. But being on the same team meant that sometimes you had to face her. Thankfuly, every time you did, you were not alone. Since a few weeks now, you have spent all your free time with Sydney when you were not stuck with Laura.

Seeing this started to make Lena obviously jealous. It was so obvious that Merle and Alex had to keep an eye on the younger Wolfsburg player to be sure she didn't do something stupid.

~~~~~

What should be something rather private, started to worry the team when yours and Lena's performances on the pitch were worse than they should be. It was clear that things between you started to invade the professional side, and you felt bad for that because your teammates shouldn't have to suffer from that.

After the last game before the trip to Ocenia for the World Cup, you were requested by your captains in your and Laura's room.

"What's going on here?" You asked when you saw your ex-Wolfsburg captain on your bed.

"Y/n, we need to talk." Svenja told you gently, but you could sense that she was not really happy about whatever would happen.

You sat in front of them, waiting for one of them to start to speak, but your door got opened before that.

"Oh, sorry." Lena said when she saw you and your confused expression.

"No, Lena, stay here. We need to talk to you too." Alex said. The midfielder awkwardly sat between her two teammates. "Do you have any idea why we asked you to come here?" The tall captain asked, receiving two confused faces plus a groan from you.

"Okay, maybe we should ask others too." Svenja said, and you didn't have time to question it until your door burst open and all your teammates were there.

"What the hell are you doing here?" you asked.

"The real question is, why do we have to be there?" Sara asked, visibly tired; she just woke up from a nap.

"Sorry, Sara, I promise that we will not bother you after that, but it's really important." Svenja said.

"Oh, are we finally talking about the elephant in the room?" Jule asked before sitting next to Svenja.

"So, who wants to say it?" Alex's question earned a lot of raised hands. "I think you should do it, Laura." The captain said all the other girls whined or groaned in deception. Now your attention was on your best friend.

"You guys are terrible." Laura started referring to you and Lena. "We know that there is a whole problem between you; nobody can miss it. But we think that there are a lot of things that you didn't say to each other, and that starts to affect the team. So, I think you need to work on that because I promise you that it starts killing us to see you unable to connect on and off the pitch." The Frankfurt player explained, earning a nod from everyone, confirming what she said.

You and Lena look at each other. It was the first time you really looked at her since the breakup, and it's useless to say that despite what happened, you couldn't deny that she was still the same girl you fell in love with. The midfielder couldn't deny that either. When everyone noticed the looks, they took their clues and left you to talk.

The silence was a little cringe at first, but she knew she had to say something. "I'm sorry," she started. "I shouldn't act like that. I knew how you felt about being yelled at, and I still did that. I'm sorry, really."

"It's okay." You accepted her apology rather quickly, which seemed to surprise her. "But..." Of course there was a 'but'; there is always one. "You still need to apologize for something else." You reminded her.

The brunette looked at you for a moment, then quickly looked around the room. "I'm also sorry to believe that you cheated on me with Laura. I know that you hate when people ship on you, but I still use that to break up with you because I couldn't take all the pressure." She stopped for a moment, and her eyes started to shine. "I should have talked with you instead of ending this. I couldn't find peace for a few weeks after this day." 

You moved to sit next to her and grab her hand. "I accept your apology, but it really hurt me. And it was from you, so it was even worse. I loved you; no, I still love you because even after that, it is almost impossible to hate you. I don't know about you, but I really want to try again, but before that, you need to promise me to talk to me when things start to get too much." You finished by wiping her baby tears and leaving a kind kiss on her cheek.

"Yes, I promise you." She replied immediately, making you laugh. "Wait, you really want to try again despite everything?" she asked when she finally understood what you said.

"Yes, but before that, you need to prove that you deserve it and also apologize to Laura." You said before standing up and escorting her to the door.

"Wait, can I still ask you if I can pick you up tomorrow for a date?" It was really quick, but you had to admit that her confidence was one of the reasons you admired her. When you nodded, her face suddenly shone. "Okay, it's a date then." She clarified before selling the deal with a quick kiss on your lips.

[stickthisbig]

I have no idea what this is but I decided to write down my grand theory of Star Wars and how authorship affects the ways in which stories are good and bad? Come for media critique, stay for the analogy at the very end about how Star Wars is like college, also there's gifs

The original trilogy is a series of derivative works. That's not a pejorative, but a description of their content and structure; they are constructions that use existing pieces to tell a new story. They are samurai movies, they are meditations on Joseph Campbell. They are the work of a film nerd trying to create a story that is Everything. There's nothing novel about the storytelling of the original trilogy; it was just particularly well executed, because they were made with love by a craftsman, surrounded by a team who kept him from giving in to the worst of his narrative excesses (most notably but not limited to Marcia Lucas).

There's a lot of No Reason in the original trilogy. Why's Darth Vader so strong in the Force? No reason. It doesn't have time to delicately explain everything, so it relies on the audience's understanding of the shape of the story to fill in the gaps. It's the time in the story for someone to fall in love, so a romance plotline it shall be. The author is trying to do something, and he successfully does it.

The prequel trilogy represents an older creator for whom derivative works were not enough, who had been creatively stifled by the very thing he created. (I strongly recommend Patrick H Willems's series about Frances Ford Coppola if you want a really interesting take on George Lucas and the tragedy of his career.) Extremely importantly, they represent a creator with almost unlimited cash and no one to tell him to tone it down.

Everything that is bad about the prequel trilogy is because they were made with a vision by a creator who was trying to do something. George Lucas has six hours and fifty-eight minutes of material prepared about diplomacy, representative democracy, and how all unchecked power is always all bad and by god we are all gonna sit here until he finishes it. The writing is so clunky because it is not there to build character or relationships; it is there to convey information. The sequences with the Gungans are such a mess because they're the injection of (very inadvisable) comic relief into a story that is not supposed to have any relief at all.

One of the worst sins of the prequel trilogy is the rejection of No Reason. It continually poses questions that do not need answers and then takes pains to answer them. Why's Darth Vader so strong in the Force? His mother conceived him as a virgin birth because of the Force, by way of midichlorians, which as we all know are the powerhouse of the cell. It is such a deeply unsatisfying answer, but George Lucas seems incredibly sincere about the fact that this is important. He is trying to position his derivative work within a new fandom context that conceives of his work as wholly original, and the wild thing is, I think George Lucas always thought all of this and just wasn't allowed to put it in. Improbably, the problem is not that he hasn't thought enough about his own lore, as a common charge goes; he appears to have thought about it way too much.

I have to confess to not being a prequel trilogy fan, but probably the single biggest thing to come out of it is Obi-Wan. Ewan McGregor almost instantly became the canonical version of the character. It's because the same thing that made it bad also made it good. It's a story that is trying to do something, and that is opening wide an almost Stendhal-syndrome-esque array of locations and people and stories. Fuck yes I want to hear everything about the person Alec Guinness used to be when he was young and badass, tell me everything about the weird desert guy. Of course I wanna go to Space Italy and see what the galaxy was like before it got dicked up. Sinister rise to power of Darth Vader's master? Check. Seeing the evil enemy built as a series of actions is the shit prequels are made for.

When the prequel trilogy is boring, it's because the pacing is fucking awful, especially in Revenge of the Sith. The dizzying array of new stuff is never boring, and you can all fight me on Kamino being one of the best planets in the whole series. When it's good to be in George Lucas's mind palace, it's extremely good. For better or worse, he did it. He gave his almost seven hour lecture, he said what he had to say, and he left.

And then we move forwards in time, into an era of Star Wars as a strategy rather than a story.

(I didn't see Solo, so it's not gonna be in here. Neither are any of the TV shows or the EU, because I have other shit to do with my life.)

The Force Awakens was not the first Star Wars film that was made by someone else; the authorship of The Empire Strikes Back is complicated- George Lucas kind of managed to ghostwrite his own movie?- but he definitely didn't direct it. Empire was very much still a Lucas production in which he was intimately involved.

The Force Awakens has a point, but it ultimately doesn't do anything.

It resets everything back to the start: an evil empire represented by British people in suits come to power; three heroes arise; a mentor who's incredibly important apparently despite only knowing the heroes for five minutes is murdered by a cloaked Force user; something is blown up. It is meant to stoke the fires of nostalgia, and it provides nothing substantive in terms of plot. In fact, it represents a retrograde movement. It is a very fun watch and a movie with absolutely nothing to say, at least nothing that wasn't written into the series thirty years beforehand.

It's not a surprise that, since it's just meant to get people hype and then serve them what they already know, the best thing it provided were its new characters. I was so stoked to see a Black person in a Star Wars movie; we got three new main characters and not a white man among them?? But let's fuckin' table that shit, because we all know what's coming.

[I was gonna put in a Kylo Ren gif but he looked like such a dipshit in all of them, you're welcome]

Actually I lied, I forgot that what came next was Rogue One. The purpose of the film is to make a war movie about Star Wars and like many/most war films, what the movie is trying to do is meditate on the duality created by the futility of war and the value of sacrifice, it fills in a blank in canon but is really a tone piece meant to make you have feelings and reflect, I watched it once and it was so touching and horrible that I've never been able to watch it again, 10/10 no notes

And then we have The Last Jedi, which is weird.

The Last Jedi represents a step back to a craftsman at the helm, and the exact same shit happened again.

It shouldn't have, because it happened again in a completely different way! The Last Jedi is a singular vision with one creative direction, and that is the cause of everything that is bad and everything that is good about it, but Rian Johnson wanted to do something radically different than George Lucas. He's not interested in giving you his Star Wars lecture; he's interested in breaking Star Wars open, thrusting it bodily in a new direction. The Last Jedi represents at least as much movement as The Empire Strikes Back.

So it's not like a shock that the movie was wildly divisive, and lists of the best and worst things are the same items shuffled around. I honestly think Admiral Holdo's death is the finest moment in the entire trilogy, in terms of visuals and in terms of emotional impact. I fuckin' love that Luke was sitting on PTSD Island sulking, because it's some Luke shit to do. "Let the past die. Kill it if you have to" got me HYPE to see where this would go. I wanted to go on that ride. I've loved Star Wars since I was a tiny child, and I wanted to go on a journey into something that was entirely fresh.

Other people hated all of these things, and honestly in this case, I don't agree but I can't say they're wrong. Wanting Rose to be deleted from the series simply for using oxygen is racist. Wanting Snoke to have had more impact on the story is a difference of opinion. Either you were interested in this ride or you weren't, and you're not a bad person for not wanting that out of your Star Wars.

But on the other hand, it's not a very good movie.

The problems that make it not very good are the result of having one guy at the wheel. It's clumsily made. It feels like it ends three times before it actually does. The Canto Bight sequences are the work of someone who doesn't want them to be in there, and somebody who could play ball would have finessed the story to make them organic. Some of the CGI work represents a lapse in professional judgment. The Force dyad stuff does not make any sense at all, because it plays like somebody who couldn't really explain a thing they were doing but refuses to stop doing it.

It's so good when it's good. I just wish it had had another screenwriter who could have fixed what was bad.

I didn't care for Rise of Skywalker.

By the time it came out, I was experiencing a kind of numbness surrounding Star Wars; not literally, because I got my tattoos finished up just before it came out. I didn't have any idea what was about to happen. There were a lot of rumors circulating about the extent to which things had gotten rewritten, but it was pretty clear that whatever it was going to be was fully an Abrams/Disney thing.

And indeed, this time, they did make a movie that tried to do something. Extremely unfortunately, what the movie was trying to do was reinforce the status quo. It did this on every level- Holdo's sacrifice was made meaningless, the minuscule amount of queer content was palatably deletable, a woman of color's lines were given to a white man who was buddies with the director, the story reverted from "everyone's a Star Wars" to "there are only four people in the galaxy who matter", Poe's awesome storyline from the comics was thrust aside for a frankly kind of racist replacement, every bit of story development from TLJ was cast aside. There are no consequences for anything, because all that matters is moving to the end of the story; I cannot believe that absolute motherfucker made me watch Chewbacca die with my own eyeballs just to wave it away literally two minutes later in the clumsiest way imaginable. In the prequel trilogy, in Rogue One, in TLJ, everything everyone does matters so much. The minutest actions have huge consequences. In Rise of Skywalker, nothing matters even a little bit. Everybody just waits around for the main characters to get finished dicking around.

I cannot believe that it's a thing I would possibly think ever, but the only thing that got any work put into it was Kylo and Rey's relationship. Trust: I didn't enjoy watching it. There's a piece of Wishful Drinking where Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd are trying to figure out if Billie is related to the guy she's dating, due to a bunch of Hollywood marriages. Even after the shitstupid reveal of Rey's parentage, it still really, really feels like the same vibe. But by the time they kissed, I was like, "Yeah, I mean I hate it but I see where it happened."

Star Wars is like the end of a semester in college. The prequel trilogy is the period where you're studying, trying to cram so much stuff into your brain that you're never gonna remember. The original trilogy is exams, exhilarating and rocky but ultimately liberating.

The sequel trilogy is the party you go to afterwards. At 10 PM you're at The Force Awakens, singing along at the top of your lungs to a song that's catchy and doesn't have to be good. At midnight you're at Rogue One, where you break down sobbing in the bathroom. The Last Jedi is 2 AM, weird and full of promise, as if anything could happen.

The Rise of Skywalker is 11 AM the next day, when you've already broken down the details at brunch and are now lying in bed unable to nap, with the horrible certainty that this is all there is, you will never be more than yourself, just a regular person who carries no special importance.

I didn't like it in real life; I sure didn't want it from Star Wars.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Hurry up and Wait

I love the trope that Obi Wan gets visions of the future (the CW, Order 66, and later) and through these visions he (accidentally or otherwise) saves the galaxy. Let's take a walk through a twist in that. 

Obi Wan gets those visions of the future, but never consciously remembers them.  Only a lingering sense that he needed  to be a Jedi knight (so that he could be in a position to find the clones). Subconsciously, however, he falls in love (platonically) with the clones in general and falls in love (romantically) with Cody in particular, even though he has no memory of it.

As a consequence any Force user with even a hint of a connection to the unifying Force can tell upon meeting Obi Wan that the Force has a Plan with a capital P for him. 

This changes nothing about his Padawanship (From which I cherry pick parts of anything I can get my hands on, assume that anything that is known that does not directly contradict what is in here is in play). Qui Gon Jinn’s connection is exclusively to the Living Force, as is Yoda’s. 

You know where it starts changing things? When Obi Wan takes Anakin as a Padawan. Anakin, as a child of the Force, got an even clearer sense of the Force Plan. He could sense that Obi Wan would find something(someone) and leave the Jedi before Anakin’s padawanship was finished. He could sense that this would be important, changing the tides of the galaxy kind of important. 

So before Anakin could ever become attached to Obi Wan, he is dissuaded. In this Obi Wan is not Master/Teacher/Father/Brother. He is viewed as a tutor, or favored babysitter, until it is time for Anakin to go to his actual Master.  And Obi Wan never begrudges teaching Anakin, never lets Anakin think that there was somewhere else Obi Wan had to be, because there wasn’t. Not yet. 

Perhaps in another universe Palpatine would have been able to step into the space Obi Wan never realized he made. Except the first time Palpatine pushed to meet with Anakin, Obi Wan had an unexplainable (to anyone who did not know the future he was seeing in his dreams) panic attack strong enough that he needed to go to the healing halls.   This panic attack, and the subsequent smaller ones he has whenever he thinks too long about Palpatine being alone with Anakin have two major consequences for Anakin specifically and one for the Order overall. 

The first is that Anakin never grows to trust Palpatine. He meets with him, because Palpatine made some fairly heavy-handed implied threats to the Jedi if they did not provide him with the company of a small boy, but he never really lets him in. This Anakin never forgets the lessons that he must have learned as a young slave, particularly ‘never trust a smiling, kindly man in power’.  Anakin, at the insistence of the High Council, Obi Wan, and his own instincts is required to see a healer and a mind healer after every session with Palpatine (for fear that was grooming Anakin-which he was, just not the way the Jedi thought).

The second consequence is that the High Council as a whole, and Mace Windu specifically, keeps a closer eye on Anakin. It is to Mace that Anakin begins to turn as a Mentor, whom Anakin is sure will be his Master when it is time for Obi Wan to leave.  So, much like with Ahsoka in Canon, Mace and Obi Wan end up co parenting Anakin. And it is understood, and has been exhaustively discussed by all three (to the extent that Anakin's age allows to reasonably be part of the discussion), that Mace is Anakin’s master, though Obi Wan may be considered so on paper (Mace, as head of the Order, cannot take on a too young Padawan.  When Anakin is older, certainly, and if Obi Wan leaves early, sure, but for now the day to day is handled by Obi Wan).

The order as a whole, and the High Council in particular, had no actual idea that the Chancellor (and possibly other Senators or representatives) can effectively make the Jedi Order deliver a 9 year old boy to his office and leave. They immediately set a mixed group of Archivist and Shadows to go through all of the treaties, laws, and Senate rulings that can possibly refer to or affect the Jedi. Going through all the laws and rulings and things that should not have affected the Jedi but do(because of a confluence of three, or four, or six different laws that separately don’t do shit to trap the Jedi but together create something that is Ironclad and razor sharp) takes several months. The results are so horrifying that several shadows have to be talked down from the ledge of taking over the Republic entirely. 

The High Council decides that they will begin to untangle themselves from the control of the Republic, but that they must do it quietly. There is concern that if they bring attention to the potential for abuse of the Jedi Order, there are beings that would take advantage. They do not realize that they are caught in a Sith Plot (one that in Canon would see them forced to be generals of a slave army). Instead they believe the laws that entrap them to be, not quite coincidence, but that their effect on the Jedi is secondary.  So that is going on behind the scenes. 

We come to the mission that would get the clones discovered, the one that was supposed to spark a war. Palpatine fully believes that everything is on track with Anakin, as he has not clocked onto the fact that Anakin is humoring him and does not trust him.  So Palpatine enacts his plan to get Anakin alone with Padme, hoping that something Jedi code breaking will result (Palpatine does not exactly have control over Padme-Though he certainly thinks he has more than he does-however she is exactly the kind of reckless that he needs to get Anakin into com kind of trouble) while Obi Wan is sent on a chase for the assassin, Jango, which will lead him to Kamino.

Obi Wan arrives on Kamino and knows the instant that he is shown the clones that this is what he has been waiting for. He still does not consciously remember his lifelong visions, but he knows that he has found his people.  He very calmly sends out a message to Anakin and Mace to the effect of ‘I have found my people. May the Force be with you. Peace Out’ then goes back and uses every ounce of his cunning and negotiating skill to take command of the clones, the ships, and all the supplies for what should have been the Republic's Army and fuck off to a planet in Wildspace (That Obi Wan owns. Until that very moment he did not know why the Force had encouraged him to acquire the planet). 

Jango, who is very intrigued by the pretty red headed Jedi who had just politely browbeaten a bunch of Kaminoans (It is a very much one sided attraction, since Obi Wan is very much in love with Cody-even if he doesn’t know it yet), and Boba go with them. 

No just picture this. Dooku is waiting on Geonosis for Jango Fett to lure a Jedi,  specifically to lure his grand padawan to the planet so that war can get started. And Waiting. And Waiting. Meanwhile the Geonosian Queen is hovering in the background, starting to make noises that are the equivalent of ‘well, don’t let me keep you’ (and other such saying that were polite-as this was still a potential ally- for ‘Get fucken out of our house already’).

Another Meanwhile, due to a combination of the lack of needing to go to Geonosis to rescue Obi Wan, the lack of a need to go to Tatooine (By sheer happenstance Shimi was not captured by the Tuskens, thus no visions for Anakin), and the goodby message Obi Wan left (which indicated that the current assassin would not be bothering Padme for at least a few weeks), Anakin and Padme get back to the Senate in time for the Separatist Vote.  While not unanimous, it is an overwhelming majority that voted to allow the Separatists to leave (Mainly because most of them wanted to be able to leave themselves if need be).

Everyone, Separatist and Republic alike, stares at each other awkwardly in the aftermath of the Vote. For some reason everyone feels as though there should have been a different outcome and no one(outside of Palpatine and his minions) can tell why. Eventually the Separatists turn and walk slowly from the room.  Those who wanted the war were seething internally, but not able to show it externally.  

Palpatine has to work hard to keep his screams of frustrations internal later, when he calls Kamino and finds that his shiny new army is not where he left it. Then there is the repeal of a seemingly insignificant law and it takes him nearly three weeks to place why (that one law neatly disassembles most of the legal trap that the Jedi were in, because it was the connecting law between that laws with the really harsh punishments and that laws that specifically mention the Jedi). 

Back with Obi Wan and the Clones…Things are a bit strange. In the first place Obi Wan still does not consciously remember any of his visions, but subconsciously knows all of the clones and can tell them apart. So he calls the clones by name rather than designation. For some of the clones before they even choose a name.  He also knows without knowing why hobbies and interests for most of the clones.  

And for all that the Clones have been primed through propaganda to love the Jedi, they don’t actually fully trust anyone who is not a clone, not yet. This has the effect that Obi Wan is, without realizing it, acting very informally with clones who do not know what to make of him.  This is compounded by the fact that Obi Wan sees Cody and is instantly smitten. Cody does not know what to do with this. 

Hilariously this has the effect of making Jango jealous of Cody. Jango is attracted to Obi Wan, who only has eyes for Cody.  So Jango is off to one side making passive aggressive comments about Obi Wan settling for a badly put together copy when he could have the original, muttered low enough that Obi Wan cannot hear.  When Obi Wan does over hear one of the comments, the resulting rant on Jango failures as a person (this was before they discovered the chips, but after the realization that Jango had effectively sold his children into slavery) and how Cody is clearly superiors in every way, does help to endear the clones to him. 

His visceral horror when they find out about the chips helps too. 

I am not sure where it would go from here, though I imagine it does end with the Jedi, in clumps of two or three, just sort of arriving on the planet.

[piglet26]

Reylo. Sorry, but it's not abusive

Star Wars is not selling abusive relationships to young girls nor conditioning them into aspiring to them. Reylo is not propaganda from disgruntled single middle aged woman. It wasn't promoting abusive relationships when Luke still found love for his father despite Darth Vader cutting off his hand. Luke fans, young and old, were not attacked as being dumb or needy for liking Luke or how he viewed his father. It damn sure wasn't considered abusive when Anakin choked Padme and she still held hope for him in her heart. Or, that Obi-Wan still held a love for Anakin despite everything Darth Vader had done. Then there was Reylo.

Being a Reylo is not something I feel I need to defend. Let me love what I love in peace. That's what I believe. I did not actually see any of the sequel trilogy until after it was concluded. I was not on any fandoms during the rollout and marketing for the films. Thank God. However, I have gathered enough to understand it was horrible how Reylos were being regarded. It was beyond patronizing. I'm not new to fandom, hell I've been on soap opera fandoms for quite some time and believe me that's a savage space, but wow.

I want to clarify some of the feedback against Reylo and reaffirm why it's such a compelling pairing. Further more, I regard it as an compelling attribute to the Star Wars universe that only added to the franchise.

Now I've seen the domination of woman twisted up and called romance (see Twilight and 50 Shades of Gray), but I don't think people understand WHY those relationship were as such. Rey, on her own, is one of the strongest and most badass female leads to ever appear on the big screen. Despite people thinking she doesn't have a personality she is a resourceful, tough, innocent, loyal, hopeful and strong. She has agency unlike Bella Swan. She is not sexualized by Kylo Ren unlike the 50 shades girl. Her gender is neither a hindrance nor an advantage. She has the agency to save herself, but she is also saved.

Which is really one of the main issues. There is the patronization of Rey as a character, the people who like her and the people who like the pairing. While those 50 shades of gray books didn't buy themselves rather than listening to why Reylos liked the pairing they were told why they did and then dismissed. Or, there's the men that wanted Rey to be with Finn because Finn was the "nice guy" who they identified with.

Rey doesn't need a love interest - not all heroines need love interests, but why does it imply she's weak if she does have a love interest? Heroes infamously have a female counterpart which helps make them viable. It doesn't make them any less interesting as an individual.

Kylo Ren and Rey are NOT a couple but instead representatives of opposing sides in a war. This is the most important part. From the get-go they have an intense dynamic. Both have had visions and dreams of the other and they recognize something in one another. Kylo Ren did kidnap Rey, however, if you consider fighting your enemies “abusive” or interrogating war prisoners as “domestic violence”.............well, that is odd.

As quotes about them

What if your soulmate in the Force was your enemy? Circumstance, pits them against each other, but the Force bonds them together. They understand each other almost from a point of view of fate. And yet, fate has made them enemies.

While Kylo Ren is fascinated by In the moments of the interrogation, gender and sexuality have nothing to do with Kylo’s actions. J.J. made the conscious choice to show us the same scene twice (Kylo Ren interrogating his enemies) so the audience can spot the differences between the two. Sorry J.J, you trusted people too much.

We're able to see very clear aggression and abuse come from Kylo Ren for Poe. He has zero interest in him personally. He needs information and he will get it. The force and his ability to read someone's mind is a tool within his disposal. Now why isn't Poe's interrogation considered sexual assault?

"You know I can take anything I want" HE CAN READ HER MIND! He's not talking about raping her for God's Sake! He asked her to freely provide information and she didn't want to. However, he has a tool to use against a girl adding his enemies - a tool he'll use if she doesn't want to snitch. She knows this he already read her mind - so why not give the information freely?!

Rey also invaded his mind, so did she mind-rape him too?

The line that fans almost never seem to talk about in The Force Awakens is when Kylo says to Rey “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” What did he feel? The best I'm able to understand is what they felt was their force dyad igniting or fulfilling.

Ren becomes personally invested in Rey. Not with her cause, or her affiliation with the Resistance, but with her and what he wants from her.

“Kylo chased Finn and Rey outside Starkiller Base to fight them! He threw Rey against a tree!” Well she was going to shoot him..... I would've thrown her against a tree to save myself. His issue in that moment was Finn. Finn was the "traitor" in questioned and his unfinished business. They fought, but really it was a dueling exercise. Kylo Ren wanted to test her skills and her powers. If he wanted her dead there was a convenient edge to push her over, hell he offered to teach her. Rey was the one to go ape and almost kill him.

Again, I'm not implying that they aren't messy - they are. For literary nerds this is why they are a compelling heroine/villain. Ultimately one will greatly affect the other. The tension in between them is why it's great.

Ben Solo, least we forget, is himself an abuse victim. This is canon. While Kylo Ren has learned abusive techniques, they are at war. Applying abusive characteristics to a fictional character in a war setting without any attempt to incorporate the story is bizarre. Why was he able for the first time to stand against his abuser? Rey. He couldn't stand up for himself but he stood up for her. Ultimately, Kylo Ren wanted to 'break the wheel" that's what he claimed. If he was honest, he'd admit he had no clue of how to do that.

Most abusers are charming and irresistible when you first meet them. Ben has NEVER dishonest with Rey about who he is. Rey is very aware of the horrible side of him and even refers to him as a monster. He affirms her accusation that he is a monster.

During their force bonds because of the nature of the bond Rey is in a position to hear him out and try to understand how he became the monster he is today. When she learns that he didn't become this on his own, that Luke, his parents and Snoke contributed to his downfall she had hope in him. It's also important to make the distinctions that when she has a vision of him, it's as Ben. It's like a bipolar personality. When Kylo Ren goes all Darcy marriage proposal - she reject him. She rightfully spurned him when he resorted to cruelty to sway her to his side. Rey turned down Kylo as long as he was the ’bad guy’, and only kissed him as Ben ’the good guy’.

“He only wants to use her for her power.” Oversimplification that Rey is actually guilty of. Kylo Ren is lonely and within Rey he finds not only an equal but the most intense emotional connection he's ever had. The most intense connection she's ever had. Let's not forget they are probably both virgins. Then they are in each other's head. That's intense. When Kylo makes his plea to Rey it's out of not only loneliness but truly wanting her for her.

Also, Kylo doesn’t say he wants them to rule together as “master and apprentice”. He wants Rey to be his empress, his queen which is what Rey means. He’s literally proposing by offering her the entire galaxy. Ultimately Reylos see them as two equally powerful archenemies dedicating themselves to defeating the other but also find themselves strangely drawn to each other in ways they might not want to admit. Then two soul mates on the other side of a conflict.

This is built on the idea that hate itself is a sort of twisted form of love. It is, or, rather hatred is born from things like fear, pain, betrayal and love. Their connection is complicated. One minutes they last out at one another and the next they lean into each other. People can regard this as toxic. Others, like myself, regard this as the gray side of love. Reylo represent the yin yang of the force. The light and the dark craving each other and finding themselves frustrated.

Notice how many hero/villains find themselves telling others that only they are allowed to kill/harm their nemesis, in a subconscious effort to protect their nemesis from others. And they may also get strangely jealous when their nemesis fights other people.

Other people give this argument because they believe the popularity of antiheroes in media is a sign of society’s moral decay. The First Order for all we know is not a fascist society. We have no idea the ideology of the First Order. We know their clothing was inspired by the Nazis.

Red String of Fate: the two connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break

Kylo Ren and Rey BOTH want to be together, believe in the other, but are held back by their individual idea of what means. How is that abusive?! Maybe it's back to thinking little girls won't be able to understand the complexity of Reylo. Huh, well little boys can understand the complexity of Batman and Joker. If little boys are smart enough to realize the difference between fiction and reality and are able to watch a love/hate relationship between a good guy and a bad guy, I’m pretty sure the girls can handle it too. Rey has hope and belief that Kylo Ren can be good, she won't stay by his side while he's doing bad.

What is Reylo? In a way. Iconic

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I definitely think that's part of the point in some ways, that neither Anakin NOR WE AS THE AUDIENCE ever knows whether Palpatine can actually accomplish what he says he can or not. Like, MAYBE he has to way to keep people from dying, maybe he doesn't. Even if he does, it seems unlikely he'd ever actually tell Anakin what it is, but it's equally as possible that he doesn't have ANYTHING that the Jedi don't have. Anakin has to choose between taking the risk of pursuing the only "cure" being offered to him even when it comes from a Sith and is therefore inherently untrustworthy, or taking the risk of doing nothing and just hoping his vision doesn't come true or that he's misinterpreted it. Anakin's not so great at the accepting change or having faith thing, though, so he obviously goes for what seems to be the more guaranteed solution even when it comes from an obviously unreliable source.

Personally, I'm not shocked Anakin doesn't go asking the Jedi for their opinions on it given that he's pretty deep in the "not trusting the Jedi" pit that Palpatine's been putting him in for several decades now. If he goes to the Jedi and says "Hey, so I was just wondering if there was any knowledge of the Sith having a way to keep people from dying, just curious, asking for a friend" he might have a couple of extra questions asked of him that he does not want to answer.

Anakin refuses to do the emotional labor required of him and has been manipulated into believing both that he knows better than anybody else AND that the Jedi don't have his best interests at heart, so when the Jedi tell him to figure out how to let go of his fear of the people he loves dying and a Sith tells him he might have a magic cure, of COURSE he decides to opt for the magic cure coming from someone he knows is evil and commits to doing whatever is asked of him in order to GET the magic cure, up to and including mass enslavement and genocide.

Anakin's relationship with Palpatine is kind-of interesting because I feel like, especially with TCW in the mix, people often tend to overexaggerate how much Anakin cared about Palpatine. I've seen people claim that Anakin truly saw Palpatine as a friend, that the only person he truly trusted was Palpatine, that Palpatine was like a grandfather-figure to Anakin, etc etc. But at least within the films, that doesn't seem to really ring true. He RESPECTS Palpatine, for sure, and he looks up to him and trusts him, but that's about where it stops. He parrots what Palpatine says because Palpatine manipulates Anakin enough to make Anakin think that these are his own ideas and feelings, not because Anakin is doing it intentionally. He calls OBI-WAN a father figure, but never says anything like that to Palpatine. And when forced to choose between obeying Palpatine or saving Obi-Wan, he saves Obi-Wan, and claims they're all three making it out alive or NONE OF THEM DO, which kind-of showcases that he cares about Obi-Wan's life more than he does Palpatine's. He obviously does choose to trust Palpatine with the information about the Tusken massacre and doesn't trust Obi-Wan, but given that Palpatine tells Anakin he's right about everything and Obi-Wan doesn't hesitate to point out when Anakin's wrong or making a mistake, it's not surprising that Palpatine is the mentor he went to for "advice" on something he knows is wrong. Because he doesn't want to be TOLD he's wrong, he wants to be VALIDATED.

Palpatine isn't family to Anakin, but he is an ENABLER and Anakin absolutely knows it. Much like some of us maybe have that one friend we know is always going to enable us into doing something a little "bad" (like buying that treat you want but don't need, or starting a new book when you haven't finished the one you're currently working on, etc), Anakin intentionally goes to Palpatine when he wants to be told he's right about something he knows the Jedi would say is wrong. Because it's so so easy to just go to someone who is seemingly very wise and respected and in a position of authority because people liked him enough to vote him into power, and have that person tell you that you're special and right about everything and you should totally just do whatever it is you want to do and damn the consequences or anyone who tries to stop you. This is something Anakin THIRSTS for, he's DYING for this, it's like a drug he can't quit. THAT'S what Palpatine is to Anakin.

So of course when he's making the argument to keep Palpatine alive, it's not really ABOUT Palpatine at all. If it weren't for Padme's life being at stake, Anakin would just let Mace kill him, and Palpatine knows it. Even that point he makes about the trial is complete and utter bullshit. For one, it's not even that good of a point because Mace's point about Palpatine controlling the Senate so much that any trial would be a sham is actually the better one. Palpatine HAS to be killed, he's shown he won't surrender, he's incredibly powerful both in the Force and in politics, and without the vision of Padme's death on his mind, Anakin would be totally fine with killing Palpatine. Look at the way Anakin reacts when he first figures out Palpatine is a Sith, there's no betrayal or moment of disbelief or shock, just an immediate anger and a dissolution of any positive feelings he seems to have once had for Palpatine. Anakin is nowhere near as attached to Palpatine as people seem to think he is.

Anakin cares about individual Jedi, like Obi-Wan and Ahsoka and even Yoda, more than he cares about Palpatine. But he cares about PADME more than he cares about any of those people (or, more accurately, he cares about how Padme makes him feel, not Padme herself). So when faced with saving Padme's life or remaining faithful to the Jedi, he betrays the Jedi for her. Palpatine is just the vehicle through which he does that, not the actual motivation.

[sailorsol]

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Baylan and Shin. Like... he clearly loves her very much, she has a Padawan braid, he never once says he's raising her to be a Sith, only "more than a Jedi". And you consider the fact that he may have found her not long after Order 66, after his whole world was destroyed. Did he find her as a youngling? Or did he not find her until she was older? Imagine him coming across this Force sensitive youngling when the Inquisitors are hunting them down. He doesn't become an Inquisitor himself, but he doesn't join the Path. He takes her under his wing, guides her and teaches her and trains her. He sounds nostalgic when he talks about the way he was raised and trained, nostalgic and mournful that Shin didn't have that opportunity.

And I just wonder, if Order 66 hadn't happened, would Shin have come to the Temple? Would he have Found her on a Search? Would she still have been his Padawan?

And Shin, in many ways, reminds me of Asajj Ventress. I think they would have gotten along well, in some ways. I think what Shin had with Baylan is what Ventress desperately wanted with Dooku. And how would things be different if Dooku had treated her that way?

And like... it's implied that Baylan is more or less a contemporary with Anakin. He was a young knight when Order 66 happened. He spent his youngling years thinking the Sith were still nothing but a legend told to scare children into behaving. And he was probably not even a padawan yet when Obi-Wan "killed" Maul and became the Sith Slayer. And then going to war as a senior padawan or junior knight, looking back at how many times history has repeated itself, plagued by visions of a dark future... Was his master at Geonosis? Was he knighted too soon because of the desperate need for Jedi generals? Was what little bit of safety he could still hold onto ripped away from him?

He's a foil to Ahsoka, yes, but he's also a reflection of Anakin. He's a glimpse of what Kanan might have become, bitter and disenchanted with the Jedi Order but still holding so much love for it.

I wish we could get more of him after this season.

[issdisgrace]

Short clone wars era fic idea:

Ftm passes out bc he wore his binder during battle. Anakin, not knowing what happened, panics and takes Y/n to Obi-Wan bc he always knows what to do. Obi-Wan uses his lightsaber to cut his shirt and binder to breathe.

Obi-wan, holding y/n's head in his lap: are you okey, darling?

Y/N: yeah, now that I can breathe and see you ;)

Anakin in the corner of the tent: WHAT THE FU-

UNCONSCIOUS​

WARNINGS: Unsafe binding practices, nothing more else to warn about​

A/N: Hope you like it :)​

The war was raging on and it looked like there was no stop or pause insight. There was no time for break and I made the unfortunate mistake of putting on my binder to help ease my dysphoria, but before I had time to take it off, I was whisked off to battle. I know I would pay for my mistake, but I swore an oath to protect my planet from evil and I was going to protect them from it even if it meant my death. Speaking of death, I felt like, but I still pushed on. It was

13:00, and I started feeling worse. I knew something was wrong, so I started to retreat, but before I could get back across to my territory, my head started pounding and the outside of my vision was going black. Then everything went black.

I was fighting alongside my old friend Y/n when I notice them to start retreat from enemy territory. I kept fighting, but kept an eye on them. They seemed off the last day and I was worried. As I finished off my enemy, I notice Y/n collapsed in the grass. Running over to them, I try to get their attention but there was no response. I get over to them and realise he’s unconscious. I quickly pick him up and retreat as I retreat, not knowing who to take him to. I take him to Obi Wan. He always knows what to do, and he had plenty good at treating ailment and wounds. I made it back to camp and went straight to Obi’s tent. Thank god he was in there. 

“Obi, help.” 

“What happened?” He asks, taking in everything. 

“I don’t know. We were fighting, and I saw him retreat and next thing I know, he’s unconscious in the grass.” I say as I place Y/n down on the cot. I move out of the way and let Obi examine him.

“It doesn’t like he has any wounds.” I nod and continue watching him. He life Y/n shirt and I see a cropped black top of sort.

“Theirs the problem, god y/n how could you be so stupid?” 

“Whats going on?”

“Anakin, give me your knife.” I take my knife from the sheath and hand it to him. He cuts his shirt and the top underneath it.

“Anakin, I need you to get a new shirt for y/n. I got it from here.”

“Ok.” I say before quickly taking my leave.

I pick up Y/n’s head and laying his head in my lap. I can’t believe he wore his binder during battle. We talked about this. We both knew it was dangerous. I don’t know why he would wear it when he knew it was dangerous. I sigh and run my hands through his hair. I sit with his head in my lap, thinking for a couple of minutes before I say,

“Y/n, what am i gonna do with you?” Not expecting a response. 

“Beat my ass.”

“Oh thank god, you’re awake. Are you okay? How do you feel?”

“I feel better now that I can breathe and see your handsome face?” 

“What the fuck?” We look up to see Anakin holding the shirt he was sent to get in his hand. 

“Since when have you guys been a thing?” He asks, not waiting for us to react to his previous comment.

“For a while.” I say.

“Why wasn’t I told?”

“We thought you knew.” Y/n days.

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t have a clue,” “

“Now you know, Ani.” I say.  

“I’ve been wanting you guys to get together for years.”

Y/n laughs at his comment, but quickly stops and groans in pain.

“That hurts.”

“Thats what you get for wearing your binder during a battle.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know don’t need to remind me off my bad decisions.”

“Ooh, so that’s what that was.”

“Also guess you know that now, too.” Y/n says.

“Yeah, I do. But I assure you have no problem with either things. Also, here’s a new shirt.”

“Glad to hear.” Y/n replies. I let out a quiet hum as I listen to the exchange.

“I think Y/n needs to get some more rest and I’m sure you need to rest too, so why don’t you head back to your tent for a bit before heading back out?”

“I’ll get going. I could use the rest. Alright, bye Obi, bye Y/n. See you guys later.”

[meshlasolus]

CWM Oneshot: The Toil of Darth Vader

Hi, yes, this is my gift to you on may the fourth!! it is a sad and terrible oneshot surrounding anakin because i just felt like it.

Warnings: so much bro, just... so much. self hatred, depression, mentions of death and murder, mentions of self harm?? it's not traditional self harm but it still counts ig...

Summary: Darth Vader is the hatred that Anakin Skywalker exudes, but where does the hatred come from? (Obi-Wan is not mentioned in this, it's more of a little diddy about Anakin (Vader) and the women he used to have in his life, and the repercussions of not having them in his life.)

anyways happy may the fourth!!

He was the embodiment of evil.

His dark nature and tall stature made him the most intimidating creature in the universe. He dares not say human anymore, because that would mean he looked like one. He hadn't looked or felt human since the day his life ended.

He had glimpses of when he was alive before this, memories he wished he could burn like the skin of his body, torturous reminders of everything he had, everything he gave up. He knew it was all too late. How could he himself be redeemed when it was by his hand all redemptive acts were killed off.

He feels grief, and it fuels him. It fuels his anger and his hatred, and by this, he lives. Not as he wants to, but as he has to. He has to have power... but what is power without gain? The last ten years he stands to gain nothing for himself and everything for the empire. That was the plan all along, wasn't it? For Palpatine to use him as his primary enforcer and guard dog?

He knows all these things, and they plague him. He regrets his every move of every day, but he still goes on. He kills people, viscously, ruthlessly. Innocent people that should never know suffering, he inflicts terror upon. And he does it to punish himself.

He was meant to be the embodiment of good. The only thing that stood a chance in bringing balance to the force. The balance has not been made, and he wreaks havoc to make it worse. He does not deserve to, after all this time, make amends. He doesn't deserve his redemption. He wants to feel pain and suffering and hatred and malice for the rest of his life, because it is the complete opposite of what should have been. One wrong decision, and it cost him his life.

Everyone he ever loved. Everyone he ever trusted and wished happiness upon.

His beautiful wife, and the children that never were. His closest friend and sister. His padawan, an ally he looked closely after.

All of these are dead to him, though he does not know of Ahsoka. He assumes after everything that happened, being mounted on an aircraft with half of the 501st, she stood no chance.

He sees all three, visions of the force, often memories that refuse to leave his mind. Some are just hallucinations that he finds are both a comfort and torture to him. Comforting because, he would give anything to see their faces again, but torture because, he is the reason he knows he never will.

He sees Padme in everything that is beautiful. Every lush planet he visits with the notion of destruction, he stops to look around. See the frightened faces of the people who could be smiling. He sees the nature of these places and remembers how she used to look out at scenery that was similar. She had such a romantic way about her, with everything she spoke. Even in the senate, she looked for the goodness... always.

He wonders how she ever saw it in him, even from the beginning. He was always destined for this, for the cruelty and brutality. He thinks it, anyway.

He sees Ahsoka in people's humanity. In the aftermath of the empire's crushing stomps, there are helping hands willing to lend themselves to another. There are still good people in the galaxy, and he thinks it's up to him to ruin that, because he is the ruiner of goodness and peace and serenity.

Ahsoka would look at him in such shame if she even caught whiff of what he'd become. He imagines she would try her best to abolish every aspect of him, and she was right to do so... but still if it ever happened, he could not lose. He can't let himself have the satisfaction of letting compassion consume him. He's too gone for it.

He sees his sister in fiery flames, in things that burn red and hot and uncontrollable with passion... but whenever the fire burns out he remembers the way she did, her fire still burning through those that she carried to safety. He remembers his last exchange with her often, the look in her eye one of fear and distrust and complete heartbreak.

His best friend, his most loyal ally, even to the end. Amidst the wreckage of a burning Temple full of slaughtered Jedi, she came back to save him... but he'd been dead already. Anakin Skywalker died long before she did, and this creature, this thing is what remains.

He sees her the most often, sitting at the end of a dark hallway, looking at him with toil and anger. He finds himself speaking to the apparitions when no one is near.

"You must leave me," he pleads, the words always met with a reply in her own voice, though it's echoing and in shambles.

"There's no leaving what one has never arrived to."

"Will I ever know peace?" He sometimes begs, but he knows what the answer is, he created it.

"You will reap what you have sewn. I am only here to remind you..."

And still he suffers. These visions of her are never happy. He remembers happy things about Ahsoka and Padme. He curses his mind when he does, but it's still possible. He never manages to see a smile on her face like he used to. It brings him more pain but he uses that as well. He has endless fuel for power in the dark side, so long as he remains miserable and full of hatred.

He hates so many things. But most of all himself, and it will never change. He is not the long dead Anakin Skywalker, he is what remains.

The lord of a darkness that has consumed him whole, Darth Vader.

-

lol i wrote this in like 20 minutes i just had so many thoughts.

[cinna-wanroll]

The Cold Around Us, the Fire Within

Hi everyone! I recently wrote this for the Cody Day fic exchange, if you would like to check it out. I’ll also put the full fic under the cut if you would prefer to read it here. @codyday2224

Here are the tags included:

Commander Cody does not flinch in the face of death. As blaster bolts glide by, as missiles fly, as the ground sparks flame, and fire begins to spread. When ribbons of red run down his forearm, his battle uniform torn, he is as steady as a wroshyr tree.

Under Cody's guiding hands, the 212th Battalion carves a path through an icy battlefield. The air is dry and biting, the grass brittle beneath his battle boots. Despite the weather, Cody is sweating from the heat radiating all around. Fires from explosives are pushing their ranks back, forcing them to flee the choking black smoke. The field of vision in his bucket narrows to the point where he takes it off and hooks it to his utility belt, in a place usually reserved for his general's lightsaber.

Someone calls from nearby, "Commander!"

Cody narrows his eyes, unable to trace the sound's direction. As he turns to seek out the voice, a detonator splits through the shadows, rolling to a stop a few feet away.

Cody runs, but not fast enough to avoid the blast radius. Weightlessness slows time down, showing him one last look of chaos.

Blaster bolts are the only interruption to the engulfing darkness, the shouts and cries of soldiers muffled. He fully expects to get up after he hits the ground. Fleetingly, he thinks that he should demand a different assault formation. But Cody isn't wearing his helmet, so when he lands on an icy block, there are no formations of which to think.

------

Consciousness is slow to return, starting in his fractured skull and spreading to his fingertips. Reality seems happy to supply him with all kinds of inconvenient awareness. For example, how much smoke he has inhaled from being out for, well, at least longer than ten minutes.

He pushes the sensation away and sits slowly, preparing to comm his general. Then he hears it– nothing. There is no roaring madness, only the dim rumble of fire.

Shit, fire.

Cody forces himself to his feet, which slip out from under him on the frozen ground. He falls on his ass hard, probably earning him a bruised tailbone along with– everything else.

The second time he gets up, he gains enough traction to stumble away from immediate danger.

After a few minutes of walking, he tries his comms, which fritzed during the explosion, it would seem.

He moves towards a mountain formation in the distance as twilight falls, adrenaline finally beginning to fade into tremors and chattering teeth. Then again, that may be the cold.

Even with his high metabolism, an unshakeable chill settles into his bones. He shudders bodily at a cave's entrance, slumping down on the stone floor. Sleep beckons him– mocks him.

Just a bit longer, it encourages, and he believes it. If you rest for just a bit longer, you can build a fire.

Before he can register what's happening, visions of the day's horrors plague him.

He is running to a brother, already dead in the shallow grass. He is lifting a droid above his head, prepared to throw it directly into the line of programmed fire. He is steadfast, and he is righteous. He is in pain. Pain that runs deeper than flesh, pain that finds him even as he sleeps.

"C-Cody," it requests of him.

He tries pushing it away, the sting it brings.

"Cody," it demands his attention now, dragging him away from blood spatter and flame. It shakes him awake suddenly.

"What," he asks, but his voice is so weak he barely recognizes it.

"Cody," it repeats in a Coruscanti accent.

His eyes fly open, and he sits up immediately, "General?"

Obi-Wan gazes down at him intently. His hands haven't moved from Cody's shoulders, and he's just– hovering above Cody, brows creased in worry. It is significantly darker now than he remembers, deep shadows creasing Kenobi's face.

"Commander, you know fleeing battle is a punishable offense."

Cody sighs, "Does it count if there was no battle to flee?"

Obi-Wan only quirks a brow at him in return, a challenge. The tease is Obi-Wan's roundabout way of asking what happened and if Cody is alright. Were he feeling generous or less– shit, he might explain. But he's not, so instead, he says, "Only you could be a greater headache than a cracked skull, sir."

Obi-Wan smiles down at him, but it falls away as he shivers violently.

After a beat, he asks, "Where did you go?"

Cody counters, "How did you find me?"

"Well, there certainly wasn't a smoke trail to follow," Kenobi grouses, indignant.

"Go on, then."

Obi-Wan says nothing in response and finally leans out of Cody's space. The freezing absence he leaves has Cody closing his eyes and curling up on the ground once more. The only sounds for a while are those of his general wandering around to gather sticks and foliage blown in from some rainstorm or another. By the time he has a fire lit, Cody has adjusted mostly to his various aches and pains.

He opens his eyes, and the small fire in front of him is nearly enough to convince him he never left the battlefield. If it weren't for the weariness in Obi-Wan's gaze, he could've been fooled. Obi-Wan's eyes are always ablaze during a fight, fire or not.

Cody wants to ask where the rest of the 212th is, what happened, and why Obi-Wan would come so far out on his own, but he has no energy. Suddenly, his throat feels impossibly dry, his body impossibly hot.

Roaring heat, licking up from the ground, charred flesh, ignited armor–

As he blinks, Cody finds Obi-Wan above him once more, a hand pressed to Cody's forehead.

Cody flinches.

"You–," Obi-Wan says, and then falters.

When Cody says nothing more, Obi-Wan continues, "You're burning up."

Burning, everything is burning–

Obi-Wan clicks his tongue before asking, "May I touch you?"

"What?"

"Your neck," he elaborates, looking down expectantly.

"I–," is all Cody can get out before coughing.

After a moment, he provides a weak nod.

Obi-Wan's fingertips are cold, and Cody's pulse jumps beneath his careful touch. As he applies faint pressure to Cody's neck, the visions of violence begin to fade, replaced only by the pleasant weight of Obi-Wan above him.

After a while, he asks, "Force?"

Obi-Wan hums, "No. I'm stimulating your vagus nerve."

Cody chuckles.

"What? Oh, stop that."

When Obi-Wan's hands creep towards the base of his skull, sharp pain shoots down Cody's spine.

"Sorry," Obi-Wan says, drawing away.

Finally, he asks, "What happened?"

Cody musters his strength, recounting the detonator blast and the ice his skull made fast friends with.

"I see," Obi-Wan muses after, staring absently at their small fire.

"I ordered a retreat at some point when I couldn't find you. I tried comming you, but it was all static. Had we stayed much longer, many more would've died from lack of oxygen."

Kenobi begins to tap the ground thoughtfully, his eyes wandering everywhere but Cody, "I remained behind to search for... you."

For your corpse, he doesn't say.

"Instead," he continues, "I found a trail of blood leading away from your helmet."

Cody wonders if he's imagining the tension in Kenobi's voice. He can picture all of the explanations Obi-Wan's mind supplied him for what happened. Cody knows the reserved worry on his face all too well.

"I'll be alright," he says, "did you let everyone know where you were going?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan says, "of course. But most soldiers were sent straight to medical, and we can't spare reinforcements right now because they're all aiding the 501st, about 10 klicks west. Anakin and his company will pick us up when daylight returns."

"A whole night without post-battle flimsiwork," Cody says, "what fortune."

A shiver wracks him, though he feels overheated. Next to him, Obi-Wan's teeth chatter faintly. Despite the fire, the atmosphere remains frigid.

"I can't let this one go," Cody whispers.

"I know what you mean."

Cody has gotten little sleep as of late. Each battle seems to roll into the next, like relentless waves in an endless ocean. He is the battered lifeboat against the winds, perilously pushed in a direction no one could know. There are other things at play, he is certain of it. Phantom currents tweaking his fate this way and that, toying with him.

Obi-Wan would tell him to trust in the Force, but Cody finds Obi-Wan far more reliable.

"Tired?"

Cody hears the question as if from a dream. He wonders how he can possibly answer without telling Obi-Wan of all the nights he lay awake, adrenaline-fueled, nightmare-stirred, or otherwise.

He settles on, "Just peachy," because of course he's tired.

He knows Obi-Wan is, too. He is, frankly, sick of being a better tactician than any droid and still having to bury his brothers. He is sick, he is tired, and he is in pain. They all are.

"I see them too, you know," Obi-Wan says, "the fallen. In all manner of horrible ways."

"How do you get them to stop?"

"You're not going to like my answer," Obi-Wan warns him.

Cody shrugs and immediately regrets it, pain lancing across that area. There are a lot of things he doesn't like, but he needs rest.

"How does one get anything to stop? Time."

"Brute force," Cody supplies, glancing up to meet Obi-Wan's eyes.

They crinkle around the edges in a handsome way that Cody lingers on too often.

"Matters of the mind prove more delicate, I've found," Obi-Wan says, sliding down to lay on his side next to where Cody is.

"What about matters of the heart," Cody asks, sly.

"Ah, deflecting I see."

"What," Cody razzes him, "you would recognize that, wouldn't you? It's one of your finest tactical abilities."

Obi-Wan scoffs, "My tactical abilities are what keeps us out of even more trouble."

"General," Cody says, suddenly serious, "are you alright? Did you sustain a head injury in combat? Perhaps you have acquired a concussion."

His general laughs good-naturedly before looking at him in a way that gives him hope. It is hope he shouldn't have.

"Where matters of the heart are concerned," Obi-Wan begins, "you need a great deal of bravery."

"What else?"

Obi-Wan shrugs, "Tact certainly doesn't hurt."

"You're so full of shit," Cody says, but he doesn't mean it. What he wants to say, he never will, at least not until things change.

"For example, telling someone they are full of shit while they’re flirting with you would not be considered romantic," Obi-Wan points out.

"Well, I wouldn't know."

After a moment, Obi-Wan considers him thoughtfully, "I am grateful you pass the time so easy, Commander."

Cody narrows his eyes, "Are you thanking me for being a distraction?"

"Albeit a pleasant one, but yes. That and more."

Cody asks, "What else am I to you, then?"

He knows Obi-Wan wanted him to ask the moment that spark goes in his cloudy blue eyes, and he presses close to Cody.

"You make a wonderful space heater, my dear."

[starplusfourletters]

Been thinking about the Mortis arc from Obi-Wan's point of view. Like, to him, both Ahsoka and Anakin wander offscreen for five minutes and come back having fallen to the Dark Side, and as far as the episodes show us neither of them remember any of it, so Obi-Wan's over here like "Mondays amirite"

Whereas the audience (HILARIOUSLY) knows that Ahsoka got bit by a rat and is basically possessed because the Dark Side cheats while Anakin "Only I Kill Me" Skywalker decided that the best way to avoid a future where he falls to the Dark Side is to fall to the Dark Side preemptively. Peak Anakin content right there

I think I've given the Disaster Lineage a lot of shit for not connecting the dots that Anakin is LITERALLY one Force vision away from becoming a supervillain, but like, when two out of three of you Fall on the same day in unrelated incidents that you have no memory of maybe it's fair to assume that it has more to to do with this wacky Force planet than it does with you. 

Clone Wars is already "what if dramatic irony was a TV show" but the Mortis arc is simply egregious also also it's my favorite and it did nothing wrong

[sendpseuds]

Making of Monday - Die for You - Alternate Ending

First of all, thank you to everyone who has read Die for You. This fic took me a really long time to work through and I'm so happy with the way it has turned out.

Anyway, I figured Making of Monday was a perfect place to reveal that, in the original draft of this fic, the ending was from Anakin's POV, not Obi-Wan's.

I never thought this ending was bad, but when I finished, it just didn't feel right [thank you thank you to @yourfavoritefridge and @palfriendpatine66 for encouraging me to make the change]

The shape of the events stayed the same, and some lines made it over from one version to the other, but I do think there's something to be gained from what was left on the cutting room floor.

Anyhow! You can find the original ending below the cut 🖤 [backed it up a few lines for context. you get it.]

“—kiss me like you don’t think you’re dying.”

Obi-Wan’s entire body is trembling like he’s struggling to hold onto some wild beast, and when their eyes connect and his master breathes “Anakin—“ there is nothing in the entire galaxy that can stop him from taking what he wants — not when the Force burns with need and Obi-Wan’s lips are practically begging for Anakin to drag him into danger the way he always does.

That’s why he never hesitates to jump.

That is why he has no fear.

Because Obi-Wan will always jump after him.

The first few moments are fevered and frantic — a frenetic collision — clashing together like blades in a desperate duel, all teeth and tongue and shattering tension and it’s immediately too much and not nearly enough.

Anakin loses himself so quickly he’s certain it should scare him.

But how could it?

How could he be scared when it’s Obi-Wan?

Strong fingers twist in silky curls, tightening in a warning Anakin’s mind does not register until the hand in his hair is tugging him back far enough that he can see Obi-Wan’s focus lingering on his lips for half a breath before his hungry gaze connects with Anakin’s. 

Obi-Wan’s usually bright and brilliant eyes are stained dark, pupils blown so wide Anakin feels like he might simply fall into them.

Desire burns behind his stare, desperate and dizzying but the fire in his eyes flickers with something far more familiar — his brow hard and his jaw tight the way it always is when he has some biting retort about Anakin’s petulant impatience hiding behind his teeth and for a moment the knight worries he may have made a horrible mistake.

His vision begins to blur and his pulse races but before fear can pull him under — his mind spiraling like a wild hurricane — a gentle warmth wraps around Anakin, soft and familiar, a tender touch tugging him back from the edge of panic.

Slow down.

It’s a familiar refrain.

“You said you wanted me to kiss you.”

That silky voice is low and rough and the knight can only nod.

“Then please, darling—”

Anakin has never been good at slowing down.

But for Obi-Wan, he’s willing to try.

“—Let me kiss you.”

It takes every ounce of strength in the young Jedi not to collapse onto the ground, his knees going weak beneath him but Obi-Wan has one hand still twisted in his hair and the other grips tight around his waist and the moment Anakin sees the last drops of doubt drain from the man’s gaze, his eyes flutter shut in sinful surrender as he simply lets his master kiss him.

There’s a soft press of lips to one corner of his mouth, then the other, copper whiskers tickling Anakin’s skin in a way he feels all the way down in his toes. The hand in his hair slides to his jaw, a saber rough thumb stroking reverently along his flushed cheek and Anakin can’t help but lean into the touch, shivering when he feels the breeze of a small laugh against his lips.

Then Obi-Wan kisses him.

Really kisses him.

And Anakin has never felt more alive.

He can feel the fire inside Obi-Wan. 

Taste it.

The life he tried to give away.

The faint flickering flame Anakin had gripped so tightly even as it seared into his soul.

The fire Anakin had fed with his own.

The piece of himself he’d left behind in a man who has always felt a part of him.

Obi-Wan kisses Anakin again.

And again.

Then the man is sucking on his lower lip and Anakin’s mind finally catches up, his fingers twisting in beige robes as he kisses Obi-Wan back, ignoring the way heat pools in his stomach when he feels a familiar smile press to his lips.

It’s slow and syrupy, the drag of Obi-Wan’s lips against his covetous and indulgent in a way the man never is and Anakin is content to just let himself be kissed like this until the world fades away and time becomes a foreign concept.

The air around them sings and slowly the kiss begins to deepen, their lips parting to explore a topography of teeth with their tongues tangled together.

Obi-Wan tastes like fate and for the first time in his life, Anakin truly feels he is Chosen.

Prophecy can’t possibly compare.

By the time they break apart, gasping for air, it feels like the entire galaxy is vibrating.

A breath passes.

And another.

Their eyes meet.

“You’re never allowed to leave me—” 

The words slip from Anakin’s lips before he can stop them.

It’s not the right thing to say.

He knows that. 

A petulant demand in the face of the only thing he’s ever truly wanted.

But Obi-Wan only smiles.

“—Never again, master— I will never let you go.”

It’s more true than the man who presses a hungry kiss to his lips could possibly know.

But when Obi-Wan pulls back again — his eyes shining with the vibrance of a life that Anakin is certain has always belonged to him— he thinks perhaps the man understands perfectly.

“And I will die for you as many times as I see fit.”

The words hang in the air, and for a moment, Anakin wants to argue.

He wants to protest.

He wants to lock Obi-Wan away somewhere he knows the man will always be safe but when their lips meet again in a soft sweet kiss he suddenly understands the man’s meaning—

You are never allowed to leave me, either.

“I love you, Anakin.”

It tastes like spun sugar against his lips — soft and low and full of honest affection, blazing with a fire he’s always known has roared inside his master — and this time when the words sink in, Obi-Wan isn’t trying to slip away into the living Force, but slipping his arm around Anakin’s waist to pull the young man impossibly closer, repeating the words again and again against longing lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Anakin whispers as his master’s words wrap around his bones like armor around his soul, close and comforting, a cloak he will wear for the rest of his life. 

It becomes an echo in the cavern of open mouths, a mantra repeating on kiss-bitten lips long after the words fall away.

I love you.

I love you, too.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Too much.

I love you.

I love you too much.

[gffa]

for the character ask game! dick grayson: 5, 16, 25

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Lmao please don't ask me this question, because I have zero musical taste--and I don't mean I have bad musical taste, I mean I have no taste whatsoever, I barely listen to music, and I have no funny suggestions! (Mostly because I don't care for most of the ~jokes~ about his physical body.) 16. What's your least favorite ship for this character? Fandom has made it extremely hard to like a lot of other Dick ships because literally half the fandom can't stop tearing down Dick/Babs to build up their ship, which means there's nothing there for me to like, all it does is make me think there's not much there, if the only content to come up with is ranting about another ship. Nobody's obligated to like Dick/Babs, nobody's even obligated to not rant about it, I know where my scroll button is, but also all it does is push me further away from the ship that was supposedly being sold in that post, because it seems like an unfun place to be. But my actual least favorite ship for Dick is probably Bruce/Dick because it's so close to what I want out of that relationship, except also a thousand miles away from it! Honestly, one of my oldest friends is a Bruce/Dick shipper and the overlap we have of views on the characters is probably like 85%, we just diverge on how that plays out and we both feel extremely strongly about how we dislike the other path, but that we respect the other person being on it. We both are really into the fucked up entanglement of the characters, the mirroring aspect they have of each other, the belief that the other is the pure version of who they're meant to be, the frustration of how much they love the other while also being mad at them for the distance between them, the co-dependent disaster relationship, etc. All of that is the same for both of us, we just diverge on the context for it. Which is fine in our friendship, we meet in the middle, but there have been times when I feel like the ship would be so delicious for me, because it would tunnel vision in on those aspects I like, but the thought of them so much as even smooching makes me look like I bit into a lemon. How dare fandom almost give me what I want and then take it away from me!!!! Like, I don't actually care that it exists as a ship, fiction is not in a 1:1 relationship with reality and I think a lot of us get blinded by how modern comics go hard on the father & son aspect, which I am into and think is fair to evolve them into, but that wasn't always true and it's not like Bruce/Dick came out of nowhere. It just denies me personally what I want and therefore it it is The Worst For Me Personally And Thus Jail For DC Fandom For One Thousand Years!!!! 25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? Dick Grayson is my longest running Blorbo, like that guy invented Blorboism for me, before I ever had such a name for the concept. Dick Grayson has been my One True Character for 20+ years, nobody has ever unseated him, not Anakin, not Obi-Wan, not Thor, not Usagi, not Duo, not Tezuka, NONE OF THEM that I've lost my mind about. Dick Grayson came on the scene for me when I first watched B:TAS and hit my tiny little baby brain with his daddy issues on display and excellent Nightwing design in later episodes and the push-and-pull relationship with Babs and my fannish life has never been the same since. "That it. That's him. That's the one. That's the character I'm going to obsess over for the rest of my life." I must have said when I first saw him and I HAVE NOT BEEN PROVEN WRONG YET.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Talk shop Tuesday?

Thoughts on things discussed in either the "I love my Jedi but what the fuck?" or the "What the fuck do they mean the will of the Force?" support groups?

Ooh, I do have some thoughts. 

In Case anyone is curious "I Love my Jedi but what the Fuck" Comes from Fundamental Cultural Misunderstanding And "What the fuck do they mean the will of the Force?" comes from Mace has had enough

There is one topic that comes up first, whenever someone new joins. This is for either group.  It can be summarized into ‘They do not mean to be irritating, we swear’

Force Sensitivity is something that someone has from birth, it is effectively another sense. Intrinsic to them. Force Sensitives can no more describe The Force in its entirety to Force Nulls, than we can explain the color green to someone who is colorblind. 

Unfortunately it is so intrinsic that Force users tend to fall into one of two groups. The ones raised around other Force Users (Jedi, Night Sisters, and other such traditions) will keep trying to explain the Force, their visions, their abilities to Force Nulls but always try to explain the same way that they would to another Force sensitive (never realizing that the person is missing a frame of reference). The ones raised around Force Nulls never seem to quite realize that the way they experience the world is fundamentally different from Force Nulls, so also never figure out that they need to find a different way to explain what they are sensing. 

 This leads, particularly with the Jedi, to a number of phrases that they will repeat (a highly irritating number of times) when explaining something that means nothing to their Force Null partner, but the Jedi honestly thinks is sufficient. 

In the "I love my Jedi but what the fuck?" group there is a Biannual bingo card (in that they meet every six months to gather more items for the bingo cards) for ‘Weirdest ways to meditate’, ‘How the Kriff did you get there?’, and ‘What animal have you adopted, and do you realize it bites?’.  The rules state you can only have a bingo card in one category at a time. Cody almost always has Bingo for ‘Weirdest ways to meditate’ (even though he only provides 25% of the suggestion, he suspects Obi Wan finds the cards and uses it for ideas). 

The "What the fuck do they mean the will of the Force?" tends to be romantic/sexual partners, so there are semi frequent discussions about how exactly the Force has been used in the bedroom, particularly when the alcohol comes out.  Padme received a number of suggestions that Anakin would be abjectly horrified came from Cody(thus, indirectly, from Obi Wan).

Thank you for asking, @somestorythoughts