#observation 2: death implications

[bodybaggage]

Phantom in the League pt.2

The Reality of Phantom

---

The atmosphere in the Watchtower had become decidedly less tense after Danny’s revelation. The League was still processing the idea of one of their own being the ruler of an entire interdimensional ghostly kingdom, but they were professionals. They’d seen stranger things.

Well, most of them had. Flash was still stuck on something that Danny had casually dropped during the initial conversation. The speedster tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the right moment to bring it up.

“Okay, okay, hold up,” Flash finally blurted out, snapping his fingers as the thought clicked into place. “You said your name is Danny Fenton, right?”

Danny, who had been silently dreading this part of the conversation, nodded hesitantly. “Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

“And you’re a teenager?” Flash asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously as he zipped over to scrutinize Danny’s face up close.

“Last time I checked, yeah,” Danny replied, leaning back slightly from Flash’s sudden invasion of personal space.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you’re telling me you’re not some ancient ghost who’s been around for centuries, pulling strings from behind the scenes?” Flash’s eyes were wide with shock. “You’re just… a kid?”

“Hey!” Danny protested, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not just a kid. I’ve been through a lot, okay?”

Wonder Woman stepped in, placing a calming hand on Flash’s shoulder. “Barry, remember what we discussed about making assumptions?”

Flash blinked and gave her a sheepish smile. “Right, sorry. It’s just… wow. You’re younger than some of the villains we’ve fought.”

Green Lantern rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing at Batman, who remained as stoic as ever. “Uh, so… not to be insensitive or anything, but you’re, uh, you’re dead, right? Like… you’re a ghost?”

Danny sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah. Half-ghost, technically. But, yeah. I died… sort of.”

The room fell into a brief silence, the weight of Danny’s words settling over them. It wasn’t something the League was accustomed to dealing with—death was part of their lives, yes, but having a teammate who had already crossed that threshold was… different.

Superman, ever the symbol of hope, stepped forward, his voice gentle. “Danny, we won’t ask how it happened. It’s not our place, and we respect your privacy. But if you ever need to talk about it, we’re here for you.”

Danny offered him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Supes. It’s, uh, a bit of a sensitive subject. But I appreciate it.”

Batman, who had been observing quietly, finally spoke up. “If you’re the King of the Infinite Realms, that means you’re responsible for a vast number of spirits and entities. Your age doesn’t change the fact that you’re capable of handling this responsibility. We trust your judgment.”

“Plus,” Flash added with a grin, “you’ve got us to back you up. We’ll make sure you don’t get overwhelmed with all that kingly stuff.”

Danny chuckled, feeling some of the tension ease. “Thanks, guys. It’s nice to know I’ve got some backup, especially when things get… complicated.”

There was a brief pause before Green Lantern asked the question everyone had been thinking but was too polite to voice. “So… do you, like, age? Or are you stuck as a teenager forever?”

Danny shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. Clockwork—you know, the Master of Time—he’s my mentor, and he’s hinted that I might age slower now, but he’s never been clear on the details.”

Batman nodded, his mind already analyzing the implications. “You’re in a unique situation. If your aging process is altered, it could affect how we approach future missions and strategies involving you.”

“Yeah,” Flash chimed in, grinning. “But, hey, look on the bright side! You get to be the youngest member of the League indefinitely! Think of all the birthday parties we can throw.”

Danny laughed, shaking his head. “As long as you don’t make a big deal out of it, I’m good with that. And for the record, I don’t really do birthdays. Kind of lost the appeal after, well, you know… dying.”

The room fell into a brief, awkward silence before Flash cleared his throat. “Right, sorry. Didn’t mean to make it weird.”

“It’s fine,” Danny reassured him with a smile. “I’m just still getting used to all this myself.”

Superman nodded. “We’ll respect your boundaries, Danny. You’ve already proven yourself to us time and time again. Your age doesn’t change that.”

“Agreed,” Wonder Woman added. “You are more than capable, Danny, and your youth is not a weakness. If anything, it speaks to your strength and resilience.”

Danny felt a warm surge of gratitude toward his teammates. He had been worried about how they’d react to the truth, but they had accepted him without hesitation. “Thanks, everyone. I guess I’ve been carrying this around for a while, and it feels good to finally let you all in on it.”

Batman’s voice, as calm and commanding as ever, broke the brief silence. “We’ll need to adjust some of our protocols now that we know the full extent of your abilities and responsibilities. But for now, we have more pressing matters to attend to. The dimensional rifts.”

“Right,” Danny agreed, snapping back to business mode. “I think I can close them, but I’ll need to figure out what’s causing them first. It could be something from the Realms leaking into your world.”

“Then we’ll start by monitoring the rifts and gathering as much data as possible,” Batman stated, already strategizing. “And Danny, if you need to access any resources from the Watchtower to help with your investigation, you have full clearance.”

Danny grinned, feeling more confident than he had in a long time. “Thanks, Bats. I’ll take you up on that.”

As they all prepared to leave the briefing room, Flash lingered for a moment, leaning in close to Danny with a conspiratorial grin. “So… do you have ghostly powers that let you pull pranks? Because I’ve got some ideas.”

Danny’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh, you have no idea, Barry. Just wait until you see what I can do.”

With that, the two exchanged a knowing look, and Danny couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. The truth was out, and despite the initial awkwardness, the League had accepted him for who he was—both as Danny and as Phantom.

And with that acceptance came a new sense of belonging, one that made the title of King of the Infinite Realms feel just a little bit lighter.

pt. 1

---

don’t mind me, im just mass posting my drafts rn👩‍🦯

[rabiosantologia]

⸻ 𖤓 | VEDIC ASTROLOGY MASTERLIST (Vol. 1)

→ Volume 2 | Volume 3 |

NAKSHATRA ASSOCIATIONS

NAKSHATRAS AND ANIMAL SYMBOLISM

NAKSHATRAS AND THEIR PLANETARY RULERS

RULING PLANETS OF THE NAKSHATRAS AND DEITIES

A MINI EXPLORATION OF YANG ABUNDANCE

YOUR PUBLIC LIFE VS YOUR PRIVATE LIFE: THE 10H–4H AXIS

10H LORD IN KETU NAKSHATRAS (ASHWINI, MAGHA, MULA)

10H LORD IN SUN NAKSHATRAS (KRITTIKA, UTTARA PHALGUNI, UTTARA ASHADHA)

10H LORD IN RAHU NAKSHATRAS (ARDRA, SWATI, SHATABHISHA)

10H LORD IN VENUS NAKSHATRAS (BHARANI, PURVA PHALGUNI, PURVA ASHADHA)

10H LORD IN MARS NAKSHATRAS (MRIGASHIRA, CHITRA, DHANISHTA)

10H: THE HOUSE OF PROJECTIONS, JEALOUSY, AND SOCIAL MEDIA

INDICATORS OF SUCCESS IN HIGHER EDUCATION

☾ | ALL ABOUT THE MOON/CANCER | ♋︎

MOON DOMINANT MEN: “DEEP AND MYSTERIOUS”

SUN NAKSHATRA MEN || MOON NAKSHATRA MEN

SUN NAKSHATRA MEN vs. MOON NAKSHATRA: MEN EDITION

JUPITER X MOON DOMINANT PEOPLE AND IMAGE AWARENESS • Initial intro notes: PT 1 | PT 2

THE 1H AND INSECURITY

WHY DOES MOON IN THE 6H GIVE THE NATIVE A LOT OF ENEMIES?

12H PLACEMENTS: THE HIDDEN, FEARS, AND ETC

CONNECTING WITH YOUR ANCESTORS USING ASTROLOGY

ANCESTRAL HEALING AND THE 4H

— BODY ASTROLOGY: PT 1 • PT 2 •

ALL ABOUT THE 8H

MOM (4H) & DAD (9H)

THE MYTHOLOGY OF RAHU AND KETU

RAHU & KETU

FINE LINE BETWEEN COMFORT AND CHALLENGE: A SUBCONSCIOUS APPROACH TO RAHU-KETU

THE MANIFESTATION OF RAHU (THE NORTH NODE) AND SATURN

THE ASTROLOGICAL IMPLICATIONS OF "LOOKALIKES" AND NAKSHATRA CHARACTERISTICS - THE DUALISTIC NATURE OF RAHU AND SHANI

SATURN IN THE HOUSES: 1H - 3H | 4H - 6H | 7H - 9H | 10H - 12H

THE FEMININITY OF SHANI (WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM PUSHYA)

THE ESOTERIC MEANING OF “DARK FEMININITY”

DARK FEMININE ENERGY (JYESTHA NAKSHATRA) + MERCURY RULED NAKSHATRAS

☸ THE BEAUTY OF: PUSHYA | UTTARA ASHADHA | UTTARA PHALGUNI | REVATI | ARDRA | MAGHA | UTTARA BHADRAPADA | HASTA | PUNARVASU | VISHAKHA / VISHAKHA: PART 2 | JYESHTA | SHATABHISHA

BEAUTY AND VEDIC ASTROLOGY

BEAUTY OF THE PLANETS

MOON NAKSHATRA WOMEN & STYLE

THE ASTROLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL MEANING OF OUR HAIR

BEAUTY THROUGH ASTROLOGY: HAIR

⏳ | HOURGLASSES: VEDIC ASTROLOGY ANALYSIS

THE NAKSHATRAS OF THE MOST FAMOUS “DUMB” BLONDES/“BIMBOS”

MARS, EGO DEATH, AND “B*MBOFICATION”

» · BOMBSHELL: DHANISHTA NAKSHATRA

A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF A VANUS AND MARS CONJUNCTION IN THE NATAL (D1) CHART

YOUR LOVE STYLE: ANALYSIS OF YOUR VENUS NAKSHATRA

DOES THE NAVAMSA CHART AFFECT YOUR APPEARANCE? | THE SIGNIFICANCE OF YOUR D9 PLACEMENTS

MERCURY-DOMINANT WOMEN (ASHLESHA, JYESTHA, REVATI)

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR SURYA, CHANDRA, AND LAGNA - WHAT DETERMINES PLANETARY DOMINANCE THE MOST (A REVATI CASE STUDY)

SATURN NAKSHATRA WOMEN PLAYING CHARACTERS IN MASCULINE/MALE DOMINATED

SATURN NAKSHATRA WOMEN WITH RAHU/MOON NAKSHATRA MEN

KETU-DOMINANT WOMEN (ASHWINI, MAGHA, MULA) | PART 2

RAHU-DOMINANT WOMEN (ARDRA, SWATI, SHATABHISHA)

SUN-DOMINANT WOMEN (KRITTIKA, UTTARA PHALGUNI, UTTARA ASHADHA)

ASHWINI (0°00' - 13°20' ARIES) — SWATI (6°40' - 20°00' LIBRA) | ASHWINI NAKSHATRA

MERCURY NAKSHATRAS & MANIPULATION

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ALTERATIONS DURING ASTROLOGY TRANSITS

— VEDIC ASTROLOGY OBSERVATION (BASED ON SHOWS/FILMS): PART · 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 ||

PREDICTING YOUR SPOUSE USING VEDIC ASTROLOGY

YOUR DK PLANET & YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE: KIMYE CASE STUDY

DARAKARAKA PLANETS + HOUSES

WHERE WILL YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE PARTNER/SPOUSE

PLACEMENTS THAT MAY INDICATE WEIGHT FLUCTUATIONS OR EMOTIONAL EATER

ⓘ ASTRO OBSERVATIONS: RANDOM THINGS I LEARNED WHILE STUDYING VEDIC ASTROLOGY

JUPITER & NOTORIETY: VEDIC ASTROLOGY ANALYSIS

JUPITER INFLUENCE AMONG KOREAN ACTORS

PISCES INFLUENCE ON K-POP

⚈ THE DARK SIDE OF JUPITER

THE CURSE OF LIMITLESS EXPANSION: JUPITER'S SHADOW

JUPITER'S BOUNDLESSNESS: THE UNION OF GOOD & EVIL

JUPITER DOMINANT WOMEN & DADDY ISSUES

THE ASTROLOGY OF DOPPELGANGERS

[connabeth]

rick really woke up and said "what if i give the people what they want for once" and gave us grumpy black cat introvert percy and sunshine golden retriever extrovert annabeth we never knew we needed

also no one's talking about how percy made friends with annabeth's college's security guard (Florence or smthn?) so he's the only one allowed to walk in her campus anytime?

also I found a typo in the third chapter where dave was accidentally called paul which I found really funny

1) i’m glad this series is doing justice to annabeth’s personality because she spent so much of pjo & hoo caught in an inner turmoil of hurt and uncertainty and self-loathing and insecurity and fear given the circumstances of luke’s betrayal and percy’s imminent death. in spite of it all, she was still a bastion of hope and light throughout those books, but she deserves to be silly and unburdened by the weight of the world now that she has percy back and there’s no big prophecy (unresolved trauma aside). i think, in her mind, even though new, crazy things keep being thrown at them and she most certainly deals with a latent fear of losing percy at any moment, she’s resolute and confident that they can overcome anything that gets in their way of their dream of going to college and finding peace together because she feels that invigorated and wants it that bad. even if greco-egyptian gods or a triple goddess or a mortal apollo pop up throughout their senior year. i feel like she’s giving herself the freedom to just let go, breathe, be sure everything will be okay in the end, and just be excited about things without drowning in worry for once, which i love. she deserves to feel that childlike enthusiasm she was deprived of for so long. her confidence that they’ll be okay extends to percy being able to complete all his classwork and applications, which in turn reinforces his determination.

2) as for percy, he’s definitely the more outwardly insecure out of the two, mainly because of how his academic prowess pales in comparison to hers and the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her and she’s way better than him. percy thinking her SODNYC friends perceive him in the same critical light obviously isn’t helping. it’s evident in the way he’s amazed when he looks at her, disbelieving for a second that she’s his girlfriend, and how he observes her interaction with others more similar to her, feeling like an outsider who can’t understand that part of her brain the way her friends can. it’s even more abundantly clear when he believes “She would always succeed whether I was around or not,” which in theory is a sweet sentiment to have about your very capable girlfriend, but academic and social success aside, she needs him as much as he needs her and she’d see no point in being in california without him. but his insecurities and easy jealousy prevent him from fully understanding this even if he innately knows it’s a universal truth that they’re meant to be together. however, all this being said, percy’s characterization in wottg so far is a little…weird. in order for you to literally pee your pants, something must scare you or catch you off guard really, really bad. so while it makes sense for him to fear a powerful goddess, wetting his boxers seems like an extreme reaction. i know rick was probably just trying to insert immature humor, but the implications are not what he was going for considering this is the boy who didn’t have that reaction staring down titans and giants and nyx and tartarus himself. so forgive me if i think it’s a little insane that percy having such a visceral reaction to a goddess 13 year old hazel fared well against is out of character, even after taking into consideration his fear of not receiving and completing the remaining quests on time. it makes sense for him to be nervous and on edge, given the quiet of the past month, but that amount of fear towards a deity who’s not the most scary thing he’s faced down is an interesting choice since rick isn’t known for realistic depictions of PTSD and that likely isn’t the intention here. it’s also curious how it’s implied even a goddess as primordial as aphrodite caves in to hecate…

3) florence is the goat and i love percy making random friends to help his cause. he doesn’t go out of his way to befriend others in the mortal world unless they approach him first or there’s an opportunity there. and the fact that annabeth can a casually ask her friend to cover for her being gone from her dorm for several days makes me think this is far from the first time she’s snuck out for prolonged periods of time👀

4) this is an INSANE typo to have in a book because clearly not a single person proofread it and it doesn’t surprise me that it got past rick, but becky and several rounds of editors and everyone else in his circle who’s read the book not picking up on it prior to publication is wild. rick is too eager to have his self-insert be everywhere and it shows💀

[roseodelle]

Arcane Pt3 - Eris Vanserra x Unnamed OC

Eris’s best kept secret is infiltrated.

No use of y/n

WC: 1799

Warnings: Angst

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

The wards surrounding the Night Court are the strongest in all of Prythian. With Rhysand and Feyre as High Lord and Lady, that should not have come as a surprise. But when Eris was spat out on a random mountain just inside the weakest point of the wards, many miles away from the Court of Nightmares he’d been aiming for, a frustrated scream escaped him. 

“Rhysand!” He yells, voice cracking in anguish. He tightens his grip on his mate, seconds away from death in his arms. Blood runs from her nose and mouth. From her arms, her back. It rubs onto him, mixing with his clothing and sticking to his skin. It  burns.

“Rhysand, please! Azriel!” His plea is desperate. Begging for anyone to hear him, to come for him. To save her. He’s miles from the nearest city, and he knows without a doubt that she will not make the trek through the mountains. Her life depends on the shadows of this court and the alarm his presence had to have raised in a court he was not welcome in. Had never been welcomed in. 

Her pulse is waning, weakening further by the second. Her skin is so cold against the heat of his, and he feels his soul break with every second met with silence as they sit alone on the snowy ground of Night. Tears run freely down his cheeks and onto hers as he begs.

“Please help me, please help me. Azriel! Cassian!” Each syllable is broken and hoarse as he forces his voice louder. He fights back sobs, choking on his breath as he rests his head atop hers. “Please, please, please.” 

His plea is a repetition, rocking her body against his. Hands running gently along her arms, her back, and her cheek as, second by second, they remain alone. He barely notices the shift of shadow ahead, the shade of a snow-capped evergreen shifting as the spymaster responds to the intrusion on his Court.

“What is this?” Azriel asks, taking silent steps toward the broken couple. His giant wings are an omen of darkness behind him, shadows swirling in an angry torrent around their master. They reach Eris quickly, circling the broken female in his arms.

“Please help her, please, please, please. Save her. Save her.” Eris continues, rambling now as his soul and mind battle to stay whole. 

“What have you done?” Azriel murmurs. A crazed laugh escapes Eris at the implication. That he had been responsible for the destruction in his grasp.

“Azriel, please. Help her. Help her, or leave us to die here. But do not mock me.” The shadowmaster wears an unreadable mask. His expression is blank compared to the anger and disgust Eris is used to seeing. He’s silent, staring at the scene in front of him. Communicating, Eris assumes, with his High Lord or Lady. Determining whether to save their lives or leave them to die in the wretched mountain. 

“Please. Do not let her die for my misdeeds.” It’s the last time he’ll ask, Eris decides. Save them or let them die here. The second her heart ceases, he will plunge his dagger into his own chest. Save them or let them die here. The silence is heavy and never-ending. Finally, Eris takes his gaze away from the shadowsinger and back to the bloody face of his mate. His hands were shaking violently against her broken skin.

“She’s barely alive, Eris. Feyre’s blood alone will not be enough to save her. But she is willing to try.” He takes a heavy step toward the two, blocking all light with the shadow of his body. Eris flinches as the spymaster reaches out a scarred hand, roughly gripping the torn sleeve of his shoulder.

“Come.” 

Azriel deposits them in an unfamiliar room. Eris’s first observation is that it’s warmer than he was expecting, deep colors and a warm scent flood his senses. The second was that he was surrounded on all sides. Azriel and Cassian flank behind him on each side. The High Lord stands ahead on the right, with the High Lady across to the left. His grip on his mate tightens as an ancient female with long gray hair and wrinkled, dark skin reaches to take her from his arms. His pulse quickens, a deep growl escaping his throat as he backs away from the strange woman. The instinct to protect his mate fights with the rational thought of his mind, teetering on the edge of breaking completely. The woman takes a step back, raising her hands in complacency. She looks behind him, her kind eyes widening in question.

“You begged for our assistance. Let Madja have her, Eris.” Rhysand’s firm and steady voice breaks through the turmoil in his mind, easing the panic in his chest. As his shoulders lower from his tense stance, Madja reassesses him before taking two steps forward and gently removing her from his grasp. 

The healer places her carefully on a flat table and begins her work immediately. Placing knobby hands on her forehead and chest, her wrinkled eyes close in concentration. With his arms empty and his mate taken away from him to be healed and brought back to life, his shoulders tighten once again. Fear clouds his senses, his hands shaking anew as his knees tremble. He takes a step forward, intending to stand beside his mate. To watch as the old crone attempts to heal her, but a heavy hand on his shoulder stops him. Glassy eyes turn to Rhysand, who motions toward a single chair in the corner of the room.

“Sit.” He demands, “And tell me what this is.” Eris obeys, his unsteady knees failing him as his body falls roughly into the wooden seat. He leans forward, resting his arms on his knees. A still shaking hand reaches up to pull roughly at his short red hair. He clears his throat, shaking his head to clear his mind as he tries to explain. He thinks of where to start—two hundred years ago or two hours ago? How long had it been, he asked? How long has passed since he had been called to the throne by his father? How long has it been since he’d slaughtered his brothers—the boys he’d raised? Since he’d found her broken body? Burned, bloody, and unnaturally still? His breath quickens again as images of the slaughter rush through his mind. The heads of his brothers. His boys. They’d once been so sweet and happy. So kind. He’d killed them. He’d cut them down where they stood because they’d taken from him. They’d taken her from him. And Beron. His father. His father had taunted him to the point of no return. The abuse, the torture, the orders to kill, maim and torture on his behalf had been nothing. From the tender age of twelve years old, Eris had done his father’s bidding. He’d been the perfect son. Molded and forced into the role of the High Lord’s heir. To torture Eris was one thing. But what he did to her, what he had done to his mate, was another entirely.

Panic again floods his senses, drowning out all the sound around him as his eyes find her again. All he can do is stare ahead at his mate, dead on the slab ahead of him. The healer, Madja, ran her hands along her body, touching her in places no one but he ever had. Black spots begin to cloud his vision, his chest tightening as his breathing intensifies. His chest heaves with the effort it takes to breathe. Muffled sounds are heard but not understood as his lips part in an effort to bring air to his lungs. 

“Eris, Eris!” A heavy hand on his shoulder sharply breaks his panic. Unfocused amber eyes meet sharp violet. 

“Breathe, Eris. And tell me who she is. I do not wish to intrude on your mind.” The warning works to clear his mind enough to suck in a harsh breath. Holding it for a moment, his body shudders with the release before another fills his lungs. He closes his eyes, unable to look upon his mate, who still lays unnaturally still on the table. Feyre now stands with her, holding a bloody hand in her own.

“My love.” He whispers, the sound of his broken voice barely audible. Rhysand kneels before him. The humility in the High Lord's eyes is unnerving, a sight he’d never expected to see aimed toward himself. The gentleness is unnatural. 

“Your mate?” Rhysand asks, and Eris’s responding silence confirms. The High Lord nods his head, resting his bargained arms on his knees. His head tilts to the side, examining Eris with an intensity that nearly makes him sick. 

“What happened?”

“Beron found her.” Another nod in response.

“Did he do this to her?” Eris shakes his head, his eyes closing as the vision of his brother’s severed head runs rampant through his mind once again.

“My brothers.” 

“Are they dead?” Opening his eyes again, he trains them on Feyre as she runs a sharp dagger over her wrist, holding the cut above his mate’s open mouth. Madja’s hands rest on her face, now clean of blood.

“Yes.” Rhysand nods his head again, glancing toward Cassian and Azriel, still behind them, standing guard. 

“I want eyes in Autumn. Call on Lucien.” It’s Cassian who responds with a silent nod, exiting the room softly. Azriel stands with that neutral mask, shrouded in shadows, as he examines the scene before him.  

“What is her name?” Rhysand asks gently, and again, Eris is unnerved at his kindness. He whispers his response, her name a quiet prayer on his lips. Rhysand repeats it and again, Eris is overcome with emotion. He closes his eyes yet again, taking another deep breath in and out.

Rhysand stands, returning to his previous spot to the left of the room. Eris’s view of his mate is now unobstructed, and he does not attempt to hide his tears as they once again fall on his cheeks. Madja and Feyre work silently. Gently but quickly, potions moved to and fro, hands softly touching scorched skin. The burns begin to heal, her chest moving with more vigor than it had within the past few minutes. Gods, it’d been minutes. From the time he’d been called to the throne to the time he’d winnowed them to the mountain, no more than twenty minutes could have passed. 

“Will she survive?” He asks, dreading the answer. Madja’s hands cease their exploration of his mate's skin as she looks at him, meeting his eyes. She simply nods her head, and his shoulders drop. He allows his eyes to close once more, his heavy body falling back into the chair with relief. 

“Thank you.”

[miirshroom]

Reading between the lines on a narrative (Realm of the Elderlings)

Speculating on some possibilities that are hinted at, but that don't get explored because FitzChivalry is not an omnipotent narrator and sometimes makes observations without grasping the meaning. Mostly involving the way that the magic system interacts with the psychology of various characters in the Farseer trilogy, and that there isn't really enough context for a reader to understand until after also reading the Tawny Man Trilogy. One example involving the Wit, and one involving the Skill.

1. Duke Brawndy of Bearns knew that Fitz was Witted (and saw that as a favourable trait)

Brawndy met Fitz only once and afterwards had a surprising interest in marrying him into the family. In the second trilogy it is discussed how the Wit is a secret kept in the nobility and implied that Brawndy's daughter Faith might be Witted herself. At the end of Royal Assassin Brawndy speaks on behalf of Fitz and has very specific terms: "Prove to us...that FitzChivalry is Witted, and that he used the Wit to kill King Shrewd, and we will let you put him to death as you see fit". And if Regal cannot prove that Fitz used the Wit to kill King Shrewd then Fitz shall have the stewardship of Buckkeep. Brawndy tacitly declared that Fitz having the Wit alone is not a dealbreaker. If Brawndy knows the Wit including its powers and limitations then he believes that he has set Regal an impossible task - a Wit Beast might kill a person but the Wit itself can't kill and leave no mark as was done with King Shrewd. There is also the implication that the Dukes are paying attention to the physical damage done to Fitz, thinking that should provide him a measure of protection.

But still Fitz is a pawn and though the most desirable outcome is that 1) Regal gets impatient and just goes away to Tradeford, which leaves FitzChivalry effectively the leader of the Coastal Duchies, it is more likely that 2) Regal kills Fitz against their wishes and the Dukes get what they wanted anyways - confirmation that Regal will not follow due process and is no true king to the coastal duchies. It's a win-win for the Coastal Dukes - the schism between the Coastal and Inland Duchies was an inevitability anyways. In that case, Brawndy's blindspot would be that he doesn't count on the 3rd option from Regal's use of the Skill. He doesn't know what Fitz knows - that Regal can and will use the Skill to make him speak lies naming Brawndy's own daughter a traitor and more. Brawndy sees Regal as a creature of the Inland Duchies and a coward. He doesn't understand Regal's special brand of selfish insanity that leads him to actively sabotage the Coastal Duchies chances for survival. If Brawndy is familiar with the ways of the Old Blood then he understands how a healthy predator might cede territory to a rival rather than waste the effort to hold onto it, but doesn't comprehend that Regal has more in common with the Forged Ones who are more like rabid beasts. And so Fitz's options are narrowed to requiring his death.

As for how Brawndy could know that Fitz was Witted, that is fairly straightforwards - it's a much more open secret than Fitz thinks that it is. Black Rolf explains to Fitz that he doesn't guard his thoughts to Nighteyes in the way that is taught among the Old Blood. It follows that Fitz has been doing this for all his life and so any Witted person in his proximity is picking up on signals that he doesn't even realize. Fitz recalls and records the ways that he screwed up in keeping his secret of having the Wit, such as when wolf tracks were found in places where he had been fighting Forged Ones with Nighteyes, the time when Nighteyes attacked Justin with the Skill through him, and the time when the girl in Neatbay saw him in the company of a wolf and believed him to have transformed. He can't record what he doesn't know, and the volatility of his status as a royal bastard could have been such that none of the Old Blood nobility were willing to make him aware of themselves in the way that they later would with Prince Dutiful.

2. Chade was Skill-imprinted with a command to be loyal to King Shrewd (and the hidden mechanics of skill-imprinting are one of the most understated drivers of conflict)

Skill imprinting a command seems to be such an intuitive use of the Skill that at least 3 characters have done it accidentally - Chivalry to Galen, Verity to Fitz, and Fitz to Dutiful. Fitz speculates that Galen's coterie must have been Skill-imprinted to serve Regal so completely as they do, in place of the true King Verity. It takes Fitz a long time to break Galen's imprinted command that he has no Skill ability and should kill himself. If he ever truely broke it - considering that he never describes a moment like Dutiful had where he found the command and deliberately severed it. And then Fitz himself incepts it into Regal's mind that he should be loyal to Kettricken and her heir, which seems to bookend the skill-imprinting sub-arc.

King Shrewd was once strong in the Skill, and the only fully trained Skill user in the narrative other than Kettle. Chade always laments not being trained in the Skill, but he does have the ability to learn it, and it is often shown that Skill users have the easiest time reaching the minds of other Skill users. There is nothing stopping Shrewd from long ago using the Skill to subtly command Chade to never even think of doing harm to Shrewd or his offspring. Creating a councillor and assassin with absolute loyalty to Shrewd - but only as long as he remains ignorant of the true power of the Skill. It could explain how Fitz has such a hard time getting his usually sharp mentor to pay attention to the threat presented by Regal. It's only after the death of Shrewd that Chade starts being a more active force in the world. It could be that such Skill commands quietly dissipate once the originator dies, but that echoes of them remain in mental pathways. And would persist unless directly confronted. There's a hint of this near the end of Fool's Fate where Chade is eager to carry out the command of the dragon and Fitz notes that it is normal of Chade to justify a reason for why he's not following an order but instead doing something that he wanted to do anyways. As if such thinking is a habit for him.

It would beg the question of why the Skill coterie would remain loyal to Regal past the death of Galen, if Galen did indeed command them to be loyal to Regal. Probably a few factors. Firstly - Verity burned out the ability of their leader, and then proceeded to hold the remains of Galen's coterie at a distance. Verity had not the time or the ability to undo what Galen had done to break them to his will, just as he and Chivalry hadn't known how to undo the skill command on Galen. Even if the coterie was imperfect, it was thought to be better to have any amount of far distance communication than to have none. Verity gave them reason to hate and fear him and then never made any attempt to reclaim their loyalty. Fitz was given the attention by Verity needed to work through the block created by Galen's Skill command, and it's the Skill link to Verity as much as the kindness that keeps his loyalty to Verity strong.

Secondly, Galen had time and opportunity to master the ability to imprint commands. He had no students for many years so he had little more to do than think about the command implanted in his mind by Chivalry. Consider from every angle how that kind of magic may work, and find ways to close or open loopholes. Fitz understands that skill imprinting can be used in obvious ways like Verity's "Come to me" or his own "Stop fighting me" to Dutiful, but he never seems to unpack that it could be done more subtly. Even Galen's hasty commands to Fitz were more subtle than either of those examples, and Galen could probably do much better if given time and a pliable subject. Extrapolating further, it may even be that failing all other methods Galen realized that Chivalry's death was the last element required to break his Skill command to Galen, and managed to convey to Queen Desire that her ambitions for Regal could proceed after Chivalry's assassination.

Lastly, by the time that the coterie was whittled down to Will, Burl and Carrod they despised Fitz for their own reasons that could only reinforce any prior imprinting by Galen. Fitz has attacked Justin and had killed Justin and Serene. Fitz is an enemy and Fitz is loyal to Verity (who they still hold a grudge towards), therefore they were right to stick with Regal. Regal feeds their hate of Fitz and in return they serve him despite all evidence that he is a cruel and abusive person. They make up their own logic to justify why Regal deserves to have their loyalty. Probably even on some level realizing that they crossed a moral line long ago, and fearing what Verity will visit upon them in retribution if he succeeds in rousing the Elderlings.

[sophiethewitch1]

Hey! I just wanted to say that I love the WWW series so much that I've literally read it like 4 times over. SO! I have several questions + observations about it that have been bugging me a little, if you don’t mind answering + talking about them.

Everyone’s ages are something that I've been curious about. I know that it’s stated that Damian and the Reader-insert are 3 years apart in age, 19 and 21 respectively. I’m assuming that they’re more like 2 1/2 years apart based on the ages we’ve been given.

Do they follow canon ages? For example, is Tim still around 7 years older than Damian???

Because i’m picturing the lineup looking something like this:

Bruce: 47

Dick: 33

Jason: 28

Tim: 26

Reader-insert: 21

Damian: 19

I was just curious because picturing everyone’s relative age is something that is really important to me when regarding the dynamics between characters.

Another thing that I noticed was how in the Reader-insert’s  original reality/world, her entire family died on the same day that Jason did. (“Your lives had both technically ended the same day, in the same grand calamity.”). Does that remain the same in this new world?

Because that would mean that the Reader-insert’s  counterpart would have known Jason at some point, which I think is SUPER interesting. Lots of implications.

That’s supported by something that Tim says in his 1st pov: “Your family had died, Bruce’s new wife had died, and all the siblings he never really got the opportunity to meet, gone in a brilliant flash.”

THAT has a few implications that I think are really interesting. It supports the idea that her family did die on the same day in this reality, and that she would have known and been living with Jason at the time (Well, before his death.)

Tim would have most likely only seen them at galas or something similar by that time…leading to his statement about how he “never really got the opportunity to meet” them.

This would mean that Jason knew her counterpart when the Reader-insert met him for the first time. 

Now, going off of all of those assumptions, I can only begin to guess what her and Dicks relationship was like before her family's death. I picture it like this:

Dick had only left the manor around 3 years TOPS before Bruce had remarried, bringing a whole nother family into the fold. Now, we don’t know too much about Dick in this story yet, (I'm SO excited to see more of him in the next chapter BTW) but I can assume that this would feel pretty upsetting. Leaving your home, and your adoptive? father only for him to marry into a whole new family not long after?

I’d be pretty bitter if it was me in his situation. I wouldn’t really want to have any kind of relationship with the new children he had taken in. MEANING that Dick and the counterpart didn’t have too much of a relationship before her family's death.

And between their death and Jason’s, Dick would probably consider the counterpart as some kind of chance to actually build a relationship with his siblings in the light of what he lost. Obviously, the counterpart didn’t appreciate the attempt.

Uhhh there’s probably a lot more that I'm forgetting to mention, but I think the way you write is super compelling, and the Reader-Insert has been the only one that I’ve ever read that I can relate to so well!

So TYSM for writing, it literally makes my day!! 🩷🩷🩷🫂🫂🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

(And I’m really bad at conveying my tone in text, so if I seem overly critical or anything then I’m really sorry!!! I don’t mean it like that!!!)

Sorry this took so long to answer I have been in sickly victorian woman mode. I'll answer these questions to the best that I can, but also I don't have everything planned and even if I did I regularly forget shit if I don't write it down <3 <3

First of all the ages- I aged both the younger Waynes up and the older ones down a bit, because I'm personally not into the super huge age gaps but also. Imagine them however you want, even if they come up later in continuity still just insert your personal preferences if you want. Like it really doesn't matter lmao they're relationship has bigger issues than the age gaps. Anyway here are how I had them written down but I might change my mind I am a fluid being

Reader: 21, Damian: 19, Tim: 22, Jason: 25, Dick: 29, Bruce: 45, Alfred: 67, Molly: Also 21, Cass: 25, Stephanie: 23, Barbara: 30, Duke: 20

Also yes, reader's family died the exact same day in both universes, and first world reader like... knew about the waynes but wasn't particularly interested in them till their own family was ripped away, then she started obsessing. in second world, reader and the batfam were like... sort of involved? she lived with them, and she was getting to know them, but wouldn't you be kind of weirded out if your mum married like. jeff bezos or something. and reader is sort of introvert coded, even if they don't read that way. it's just because she's trying so hard not to be, because she's so starved for attention. other world reader like,,, didn't seem to react the same way to what happened to her. but she might've, in the newest chapter it seems like she was talking to bruce after the disaster, and then stopped. But yeah you're right they never knew each other because not much effort was made to do so, and the Waynes are always SUPER busy.

Also about the Dick thing, he was actually pretty happy about the new family! But like you said he still didn't know other reader till the disaster. He just didn't have time to get to know her. He was obviously very upset with Bruce because he left to fuck off to Bludhaven for a while, but he's always loved how the Wayne family kept growing. Even when it was just him Jason, Babs and the weird kid who followed them around with a camera. Then he like decided he was going to treat her like a project because he has a savior complex that comes out especially so when he's having a hard time (oh damn my brothers dead). Not your best moment Dickie. I mean other reader definitely did need help but... as if she'd accept it from a guy like Dick. Imagine your entire family dies and you have to deal with the most beautiful guy on earth trying to comfort you while you look like a creature that crawled out of the sewers. And he tries to make you go outside because you're genuinely very mentally sick. I'd kill him tbh. Anyway this is all still technically up in the air and I might go back and edit the fic later because I'm like... very bad at timelines I just can never remember them properly which creates a lot of issues and inconsistencies.

Anyways thank you for sending in your questions/theories and enjoying my work so much! I'm glad you can relate to reader so well, she's like, one of the strangest characters I've ever written who refuses to behave in any concrete mannerisms because she's stubborn and has intimacy issues. But I think we're all a little bit like that lmao. And thank YOU for reading my stuff, I wouldn't still be doing it if it weren't for folks like you :P (also also you didn't come across as critical at all, you were very polite!!!)

[easy-revenge]

its been over 2 years since i read volume 9 of chainsaw man and it still apparently has the power to make me sob uncontrollably when i think about it so im going to talk a bit about aki and denji being shown as children during the snowball fight and why it's currently making me wanna rip my hair out :)

aki is already gone during this scene for all intents and purposes, having very little comprehension of the events his body is in and just waiting to be set free. his mind reverting back to the moment he lost his family is not surprising, since that's when his life permanently changed trajectory.

he's not to blame for being stuck in this moment, as it would make sense for any kid his age. however, he didn't put himself on the path towards revenge, which inevitably made him unable to let go. that was makima. she took him by the hand and gave him this "purpose", something she very well knew he was never going to achieve anyway. she trapped him in this predicament and made sure he stayed there till there were no options left for him.

to the very end, aki's life was never his own, but planned for him. aki never left that snowy forest. he wasn't allowed to.

as a result, the essence of aki that remained within the gun fiend after his death materialized as the last genuine version of aki that ever was. a kid playing in front of his house.

moving over to denji, who is the one that got me crying today. his appearance as a child in aki's mind is partly to parallel the bond they shared and the bond between aki and his little brother, whom he lost that day. of course. however i think there's a lot of significance to this choice for denji's character as well.

denji grew up remote and very disconnected from society. he never got the chance to learn how to navigate his feelings and relationships with other people. he had to figure it all out as he went, first with pochita, whom he got attached to and later with aki and power. even with makima.

makima was the first person to ever give him attention and affection, to give him the things he always wanted, but she never treated him like a person. she never helped him get any closer to learning how to be one. he was used, much like aki was, and was given a purpose that was never going to be for his own benefit.

as a result, denji took a while to go through the motions of being surrounded by humans and being taught by them. the first time we saw him face the concept of loss was with pochita, an event that didn't really give him much in terms of experience considering all the implications and how suddenly it changed his life. in its nature, it wasn't a type of loss he would've been able to navigate as a human.

im not going to go into the situation with his father since we saw very explicitly how incapable he was to handle it to the point of blocking it out and having it haunt him till the end of part one. he surely didn't get much data out of that experience either, or the abuse he went through before it.

the first real time he got to see loss occur very close to him was himeno's death. he had no emotional reaction to it, which confused him since he was able to observe its effect on aki and other people around him. he questioned his own humanity for the first time and it upset him, if only momentarily. it gave him a hint of perspective.

sadly, he was going to find out what loss meant the hard way.

with makima still treating him like an animal and the circumstances forcing him to still rely on his instincts, denji's emotional maturity wasn't really prioritized. he did inevitably grow closer to aki and power, without necessarily being able to recognize those feelings for what they were. again he just had to go through the motions.

fast forward to the gun devil arc. he's told by makima on the phone to not think, to just fight aki without thinking about it. we see the progress that's been made in how clearly unable denji is to follow that order, aki being the closest thing to family he's ever had by this point.

he fights his best friend, not even thinking about himself, but of how aki would feel if he were conscious of how much destruction he was causing. still up to this point, denji doesn't know that he loves aki. it hasn't computed to him as a piece of info, only as an experience.

him being shown as a child in the snow, a contrast to the violent reality that his body is in, has as much significance as it does for aki.

denji never really grew up, he never got past his father's death or anything that happened to him before and after that. he was kept from it by his life and makima herself, once again. his ineptitude was weaponized and he was nowhere near being aware of it. he was also stuck.

in that scene, denji experiences real loss. he loses someone he loves and someone who loves him back. someone who thought himself unable to do so but was the first to love him like a human.

he was just a kid, losing his family by his own hand again, only this time he had been loved.

it's highlighted in the next chapter, where he appears unable to grieve and looks kind of numb instead. then we have the ice cream scene, where he thinks the words for the first time and throws up immediately.

his confusion after it happens, him being unable to fathom why his body would have such a reaction, breaks my heart almost more than the entirety of the snowball fight itself, from denji's pov.

im not going to talk about what happens directly after that and its implications bc im gonna end up talking forever, but his behavior throughout the next chapters very much shows how out of his depth he is when it comes to loss and grief and how lost and helpless he is in makima's hands.

my point is, both aki and denji were used, weaponised and kept from growing up while also having to deal with the world and its cruelty at the same time. even the closeness they achieved was planned and used against them both. this is only one of many angles of the snowball fight scene that can be looked at and interpreted in different ways. but it was the one that made me ugly cry today :)

[hatredmadeofgold]

Revenge with a vengeance — The tragedy of Sam and Raiden’s canon relationship dynamic

Alternate title: SamuRaiden is THAT deep, actually.

Side note by author: This essay will get an update eventually since I wrote it before playing the Japanese version of the game.

Although MGR does not have as complex or well researched character lore as the main series, Samuraiden as a relationship is a lot more complex than common fandom tropes and interpretations of their relationship suggest. I don’t mind it when people make funny/meme content about these two, since MGS/R does come with its own flair of humour, it’s very exhausting for me as well as a few others I know who enjoy this ship for it to be reduced to just that — a joke. MGR being perceived as ‘goofy’ is mainly due to how poorly some of the character lines translate from Japanese to English, as well as it being more or less evident that either budget, time or both ran out over the course of development, hence the second half of the game feels rushed and underdeveloped. In fact, the great majority of MGR fans do not understand how serious, dark, hopeless and dystopian its message really is and that is saddening.

The world isn’t black and white, neither is it in MGS/R. Sam isn’t the just the villain (never has been, by the way), Raiden isn’t the just the hero (never has been either, by the way), I’d say it’s rather “depends on who you ask”. They are on opposite sides due to the circumstances of how they meet and not because they wouldn’t get along. Quite the opposite is true, in fact, if they would have met before 2016, they might have become friends based on the fact of how much they can actually relate to each other in many different aspects of their personalities, interests and experiences.

Before we get to fight Armstrong as well as during the Sam DLC (also through very subtle hints during their first fight on the train) we learn that Sam is just like Raiden and that Desperado forced him to become a shadow of who he once was, going against his own morals and values and only Raiden reminding him of who he truly was before Armstrong defeated him 2 years prior, ultimately crushing his spirit — he had no other choice, either die there as a failure or continue to live and become Desperado’s/Armstrong’s puppet [until someone would eventually defeat Armstrong and free Sam from his never ending nightmare — Did I already mention that Sam is a really fucking tragic character?]. Sam joining Armstrong’s laughter at the end of DLC is a reaction of fear, not agreement with him or enjoyment. And if there’s one thing that both MGS and MGR are really good at, it’s the accurate and very realistic portrayal of the human psyche under stressful and traumatic situations.

On the other side we can tell from Raiden’s reaction when holding Murasama after killing Sam that he, for once in the entire damn series, questions if that was the right choice he made. We know that Raiden enjoys inflicting pain and suffering onto others, he enjoys murder — but he did not feel that way when he killed Sam. It’s quite the opposite. It’s very subtle and if you’re not very observant like me, easy to miss. But the way his voice turns a bit softer, how his eyes look listless, almost sad; he regrets it. When Blade Wolf asks Raiden if that outcome was really necessary, he does not answer him, because he knows that Wolf is right, it wasn’t. And Raiden pretty much hates himself for it. To his team he confidently says that Sam isn’t a problem anymore since he killed him, but that’s not the same Raiden that he’s that moment in the badlands (which is another implication to me that Raiden doesn’t fully trust his teammates, although they are friends; he has major trust issues and the only emotions he shares with them is either anger or amusement but nothing outside of that). The way he sheathes Murasama is a way to honour him, and as far as I remember this is a ritual to honour a samurai’s defeat or death.

I believe that there has been a silent understanding between the two swordsmen that they respect each other from the very beginning, but they do not say it out loud. This is a case of “show, don’t tell” but also something I suspect has something to do with the game being written by Japanese authors, and Japanese is a high context language, meaning, very little words are needed to get the meaning across, and I think this may also translate into the words these two exchange with each other compared to how they truly feel about the other. Besides, they probably couldn’t truly speak honestly with each other in the first place because of the unfortunate conditions of how they met and were (more or less) forced to fight each other until one of them would eventually succumb to the other’s blade. Codecs and conversations were most likely recorded by their respective employers, and I highly suspect that in Sam’s case, he was even monitored 24/7 by Desperado since he never was an official member of the Winds of Destruction in the first place, and they didn’t fully trust him either.

At the very end of the game during the fight with Armstrong, Sam’s message plays, and we can hear how Sam also speaks with a different voice to Blade Wolf compared to everyone else (and technically, indirectly to Raiden but I cannot confirm or deny that Sam was aware that Raiden would ever hear this playback), it’s a note softer; Raiden learns the truth, which confirms to him that he was right about Sam after all, that they are alike, that they respect each other, and that there was more to Sam’s story than him being a part of Desperado, he doesn’t know what exactly, but he knows now for sure that Sam was not the person he originally believed he was (and lets his team still believe he thinks that way).

Would Raiden truly say Sam’s catchphrase “Let’s dance” before fighting and ultimately killing Armstrong, if he wouldn’t have been going through a gradual process between originally hating Sam to respecting and liking him but unable to ever express that to him or anyone else?

Would he ever admit to anyone what kind of emotional impact Sam had on him, besides the anger and hatred he openly expressed towards him?

Doubt so. Highly fucking doubt so.

Because sharing his true feelings is a liability to him, and Raiden learnt as a very young child that vulnerable feelings such as sadness or guilt would be used against him, so his psyche is conditioned to discard them immediately. But Sam made him feel those things in their full extent and Raiden is fully aware of that, but he would never share with anybody that he ever felt that way about Sam.

He may or may not take those feelings to his grave.

From Sam’s side, we can only guess how he truly felt about Raiden, but we can only guess by the way he hesitated to finish him off on the train during the prologue, the way he smiled at Blade Wolf before his death (which might be likely another case of a silent understanding between Sam and Wolf that the latter would share with Raiden what he knows about Sam or the playback of their conversation itself, if not both) as well as everything he says with giving Murasama to Raiden. Of course, Sam couldn’t even say out loud to Blade Wolf or Raiden that he planned to give Raiden his sword to take down Armstrong, and he had to be as vague as possible with the information that he shared with the robot dog. Not by choice, no. Most likely because he was being watched 24/7, he knew that Desperado nor Armstrong didn’t fully trust him and if they knew about his plans, they’d make sure to finish him off before Raiden had the chance to do so. Sam knew he would die, and that it would be the only way he would ever be free from Armstrong’s grasp. So he chose suicide through Raiden’s blade, and gave him his sword to finish what he could not back then.

The game’s title is REVENGEANCE — Revenge with a vengeance.

They both translate to the same thing in my native language German, but there’s a subtle yet important difference between these two nouns.

“Revenge means when you get back at your enemy who is responsible for hurting you and vengeance is the punishment inflicted or retribution exacted for an injury or wrong.”

But it was never Armstrong who hurt or wronged Raiden in the first place, and we know he’s an essentially selfish person who does not really care all that much about politics, religion or anything like that and he only fights for himself (I wrote in my essay about Raiden’s ASPD that his motivation to save these children from becoming cyborg child soldiers is a trauma response first and his rather lose and grey morality second) and the few people he cares about, so Armstrong being the one one who ordered to get N’mani killed is not the reason Raiden went after him or was that passionate about getting revenge or retribution on him either.

It was Sam who hurt him — wounded both his body and soul during the prologue — but when Raiden got his revenge, he realised that revenge is empty, that he didn’t feel better, and that he regrets killing him, then we get to the vengeance part. From the moment Raiden held Sam’s Murasama in the badlands, he felt no more hatred towards him and the emotional impact his death had on him made Sam transition from a person he hated to one of the few people Raiden truly cares about.

Armstrong may be the villain of the story, but the person who wanted revenge on him never had been Raiden. It was Sam. Always had been Sam, because it was Sam who got hurt by Armstrong, it was Sam who wanted to get revenge on Armstrong for defeating him and crushing his spirit, it was Sam who wanted to punish Armstrong for making him into a shadow of who he once was, making Sam speak about ideals he didn’t truly believe in (like, who the FUCK even thinks that Sam truly believed a single fucking word of that, because I for sure as hell can tell he never did, he either gaslit himself into believing that for 2 years until he met Raiden or only parroted whatever the fuck Armstrong wanted him to say so he would not get killed on the spot).

Revenge and vengeance are very deep feelings and actions of hatred, feelings that are too deep and complex to be associated with morality, hence why I highly doubt that the title of the game is directed at Armstrong from Raiden’s side at all. That between Raiden and Armstrong is not nearly as personal as it has been between Sam and Armstrong. Raiden eradicating Desperado and Armstrong had been about justice [for the kids being killed and their organs sold], not revenge.

"I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now… Now I'm not so sure. And besides, this isn't my sword."

But when he says this, followed by “Let’s dance”, it became deeply personal for Raiden as well. Because he could confirm that his feelings about Sam had been right, and that Sam wanted to get revenge on Armstrong.

Raiden decides to avenge him, because Sam couldn’t get revenge himself.

Although Sam never told him directly, Raiden understood him from his actions alone, those subtle hints, reading between the lines what the other truly felt and wanted the whole time, eventually passing the “torch” — his sword — to Raiden, to finish what he could not. So while Raiden’s own reasons to finish off Armstrong were (mostly) justice for the innocent lives he destroyed and planned to continue to destroy, they also became feelings of hatred and anger — Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong.

In the end — revenge with a vengeance — is what Sam could get on Armstrong only through Raiden, after Raiden enacted his onto Sam.

Now the question is — if Raiden would’ve never killed Sam, by the chance of him recognising earlier than in canon that revenge is empty and that he won’t feel better after killing him, would Sam go by his example and abandon his revenge plans on Armstrong as well? Or would they fight Armstrong together and get justice?

We unfortunately can only speculate (or write stories about it).

What we can tell from canon though, is that Raiden’s (= Sam’s) passionate feelings of hatred towards Armstrong quickly vanish the moment he finished him off, and he looks into the camera with an empty expression, covered in blood and a crushed cybernetic heart in his hand.

And I think that is exactly what he feels — empty.

Because again, he got revenge and avenged Sam, led by what Sam felt, Sam’s feelings became Raiden’s feelings during that fight with Armstrong. But once that was gone, there’s nothing left. In the case of killing Armstrong, he doesn’t feel remorse or guilt. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Because revenge is empty.

Raiden defeated his enemies — but at what cost?

By killing Sam, he realised what he had actually lost — a potential friend (or more), someone who understood him in a way that no one else did. Perhaps he thought or felt that, if he avenges Sam, making Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong into his own, he might be able to deal with that loss better, but to no avail.

Because, and I can speak from experience as a person with the same mental health issues as Raiden, that emptiness is worse than regret.

MGR’s ending also implies that Raiden abandons his family and friends to fight his own war; essentially taking the same path that Sam once took in his past, ending up in a personal war and revenge act that knows no end, making one bad choice after the next. If Raiden hasn’t already become the villain of his own story by the end of MGR, then it’s just a matter of time until he becomes that.

And the cycle of violence continues, until the story repeats itself, over and over and over and over and over.

Did I mention already that there is a myth around Murasama being a cursed sword, that will drive its user either slowly insane or make them commit suicide if it doesn’t get a regular ‘blood sacrifice’?

—

“I really enjoy murder, but that one, that I will regret for the rest of my life.”

[hexfloog]

(Episode 404, The Mysterious Angel's Mansion - pt. 2)

This little scene is probably one of my favorite DB interactions in the entire show -v- Everything from the way they got here— that is, Conan deliberately starting shit (and then throwing hands sksksk)— to the way they each react to the situation, to the eventual resolution and their implied state of their relationship with Conan...

To be fair, their dynamic is more than implied and we see it in action all the time, but rarely do we get to see anything apart from the reactionary, situational interactions necessitated by some external circumstance. Friends sometimes fight amongst themselves, kids even moreso, but the DB often get tangled in such dire, life-or-death situations that we usually don't get to evaluate the friendship beyond raw reactions to things like Genta nearly being shot, Mitsuhiko going missing, drivers taking off with Ayumi in the trunk, etc.

You could happily argue that this is just proof of strong relationships, because there's no time to premeditate anything and they're forced to be little balls of instinct-- and I would agree, but that's not the angle I'm taking with this scene.

Obviously, Conan is Team Mom, always spearheading the charge and guiding and looking after the others, but if the DB rarely hear Conan apologize for anything (as is the implication here), it fits right in with his character. He's a proud individual and having to even associate with children is, at least in the beginning of the series, embarrassing to him. Haibara even teases him a little afterwards with an observation that it's "tough" to motivate kids, possibly referring to the mental mountain he had to summit by admitting that he was wrong.

The only thing that could maybe make me like this scene more is if Conan's authenticity were less nebulous, but that same ambiguity is exactly what makes this scene appealing to me, too: reuniting the group by forcing a conflict to overcome despair and hopelessness and press onwards for the sake of someone else is, to Shinichi, probable justification to be both disingenuous or earnest about an apology, so I'm… well, I don't come away from this scene really knowing which one it is, and I... kind of love that. The series struggles with grey areas and I will absolutely take what I can get here

So does anyone think he meant it? Shinichi obviously cares about the children, so the natural answer is yes, but whether he's more or less honest about his apology has no bearing on the result— the kids stop fighting either way— so... at least in my head... there is no correct answer. It's left entirely to the viewer and just comes down to how you interpret his character: if he meant it, cool, the fact that he cares enough about the kids to put aside his pride for them is selfless and delightful; if he didn't, well... that's equally intriguing, isn't it? Maybe he's simply too proud to apologize and mean it, and the fight was just a means to an end (and nothing more) so that they could continue pursuing the solution to their dilemma... which could mean that Shinichi has an enduring problem prioritizing the mystery* over his peers (exactly the thing that got him into the Conan mess in the first place)...

This is a very short scene but goddamn if I don't enjoy the hell out of it. I love the kids and I wish they did more open-ended stuff with them like this (sobbing)

[aristidetwain]

Ring-Master

In 2007′s Last of the Time Lords, Russell T. Davies drew our attention to the Master’s distinctive signet ring, inset with silver Gallifreyan writing, which was plucked from his funeral pyre by the hand of a mysterious woman who, in 2009′s The End of Time, would turn out to be one of the ‘Disciples of Saxon’, a cult formed by the Master in expectation of his death with the aim of enacting a ritual to resurrect him, still in the same incarnation at that.

This was a pleasant twist, and a fun tip of the hat to the method of Count Dracula’s resurrection in multiple Hammer Dracula films. (This is only fitting: as per The Book of the War, the Time Lords adapted their powers of regeneration from the Yssgaroth’s…)

However, I think there are two startling facts about this plot point which have been just-as-startlingly under-discussed in canon-welding spaces. 

Follow me after the cut to find out the truth about the Rings of the Time Lords — or should I say the Time Lords of the Rings? (This was terrible and I do not apologise.)

Fact #1: This pays off a Chekhov’s gun going all the way back to An Unearthly Child.

Much as it is sometimes entertaining to ponder the days when Dr Who might have been a lone human scientist, there is also a distinctive corpus of early implications about The Doctor’s Mysterious People as a distinct and mysterious civilisation with dominion over space and time. It started with the Doctor himself, but was followed through with other characters implied to hail from that same civilisation: I speak of course of the Meddling Monk and the Toymaker (who, I note in passing, is not actually meant to be Celestial with a capital C).

What did the Monk have in common with the Doctor, besides a TARDIS?

A conspicuous ring.

As you can glimpse in the top left photograph, the Doctor’s ring was, to be exact, a sapphire ring. 

The Toymaker did not wear a ring in the TV story as broadcast — but he did use one in the novelisation, which brought back many elements that had to be cut from the TV version due to rushed production. There, he used it to manipulate the environment of his suspiciously TARDIS-like “Celestial Toyroom”. 

Not coincidentally, in The Web Planet, the Doctor’s ring was revealed to have the ability to interface with the Ship, with the Doctor gleefully declaring that “this is not merely a decorative object”, without elaboration.

The concept seems to have persisted past The War Games. Sure, the Time Lords seen therein lacked the ring — including Edward Brayshaw’s Renegade. And Roger Delgado’s subsequent regeneration of the character also lacked the ring when we first saw him in Terror of the Autons. And it’s rare that we get the chance to check thereafter, owing to the Master’s predilection for gloves. But by The Time Monster…

…he is wearing the very flat, green, gleaming ring to which RTD attached such significance in Last of the Time Lords and The End of Time.

The idea experienced a last, potentially-coincidental gasp with Kate O’Mara’s Rani, though she was similarly prone to glove-wearing.

But the point is: throughout the first half of Classics, all the interesting Time Lords had Large Conspicuous Rings. These Rings clearly did some things, but the full extent of their power and cultural significance was kept artfully obscured.

And this is what Davies is coming back to with Simm’s all-important ring. The Doctor recognises it on sight as “the Master’s Ring”, and knows what it does. He fascinatingly describes it as “part of him”, setting all kinds of biodata-related alarm bells ringing. Given that the Rings are also related to the bond between pilot and TARDIS, could they be some kind of locus of the Rassilon Imprimatur? The thrill is of course in the asking…

Fact #2: This may not be the first time it’s happened.

A shorter but equally interesting observation: 

the Master has possessed this same green ring at least since his Delgado days.

the Doctor instantly jumps from “his Ring survived” to “his disciples must be arranging a ritual to resurrect him in the same incarnation”. This is something he knows Rings do and is relatively casual about.

at many points during Classic Who the Master was seemingly killed off for good, only to show up intact because “I’m indestructible… the whole Universe knows that”. (Or, as Missy later put it, “death is for other people”.)

Am I the only one who thinks that somewhere in Davies’s brain, he may have conceived of this as the secret way the Master had survived at least some of those past exterminations? Sure, the Disciples of Saxon were something set up by ol’Harold (the clue’s in the name), but it would be child’s play for a Time Lord with a working TARDIS to set up convenient cults for himself on a dozen worlds, just to be on the safe side. 

I’mt thinking, particularly, of the Tremas Master’s annihilation on Sarn in my beloved Planet of Fire, which seems particularly conclusive. We see him burn away on-screen; it’s not as simple as saying he teleported to safety in the nick of time. Either time was rewritten, or he was resurrected by… means unknown.

And here’s the thing, despite his panic, the Master does seem to assume he’ll survive. What does he say to express it? 

Oh yes… “I’LL PLAGUE YOU TO THE END OF TIME FOR THIS!”

Full circle, eh what? (Yes, that’s a cheap one, but fun nonetheless.)

And on that note, look at the imagery! Of course, having gone down in a column of flame, he would be reconstituted in the same way. 

“I had people who were clever enough… to calculate the opposite.”

[covid-safer-hotties]

Mpox And Mask Bans - A Recipe For Disaster - Published Aug 16, 2024

Despite considerable opposition, Nassau County passed a mask ban, with all the Republican members voting for it, and Democrats abstaining. Per Howard Kopel, who chaired the hearing, the bill was introduced in response to “antisemitic incidents, often perpetrated by those in masks.”

On August 14, World Health Organization’s Director General-Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus declared mpox a public health emergency of international concern. This PHEIC followed the Africa CDC’s similar declaration because infections have been surging and are 160% higher than last year, with more than 15,000 cases and 400 deaths in 2024. Further, the virus has spread from Congo to six new countries in only ten days. On August 15, Sweden confirmed the first case of clade 1 mpox outside of Africa.

What Are Clades And Why Does It Matter? Mpox (formerly monkeypox) has two clades—or “groups of organisms composed of an ancestor and its descendants.” A strain is a variant with unique observable characteristics.

Clade 2 mpox has been circulating globally for several years, spread primarily by sexual or close skin contact. It has a low death rate. This new clade, type 1, spreads more readily and can kill up to 10% of people. Children younger than 15 years-old, now make up more than 70% of cases and 85% of deaths. In contrast, the Omicron variant of SARS-CoV-2 had a 0.7% fatality rate, less than earlier strains.

Is mpox Transmission Airborne? A key question is how is mpox spread. We know that clade II mpox is primarily spread sexually, and through very close contact. However, the outbreak in children suggests that clade1 is transmitted through air, respiratory droplets, or very close contact.

There are differing views on whether mpox has “airborne” transmission. We are echoing the Covid-19 debates. If small droplets are inhaled by people who are close, is that “airborne” or “droplet?” It’s a game of semantics as the implications overlap.

Experts are divided. Linsey Marr, a Virginia Tech expert on airborne transmission of viruses, was quoted in the New York Times as saying, “Airborne transmission may not be the dominant route of transmission nor very efficient, but it could still occur.”

The WHO said transmission of mpox could occur via “respiratory droplets (and possibly short-range aerosols).” The UK has a list of “high-consequence infectious diseases.” They say, “Airborne HCIDs are spread by respiratory droplets or aerosol transmission, in addition to contact routes of transmission.” Clade 1 mpox is on this list.

While the CDC is not supporting airborne transmission now, in 2022 they recommended wearing a mask to help protect you from transmission. The page, which stated that people could become infected through contact with “the skin lesions or bodily fluids of infected animals or humans (alive or dead), including respiratory droplets, was deleted.

Another thing to note supporting possible airborne transmission is that the mpox virus is closely related to smallpox. We have strong evidence that smallpox has airborne transmission. CDC says transmission of smallpox is through “inhalation of large, virus-containing airborne droplets.”

Finish reading the article at either link!

[vinesandbones]

Meta: Og!Cale's Power

My headcanons/theories about the powers that previously Cale, currently Kim Rok Soo possibly have.

Warning: Spoilers

***

After our MC, Kim Rok Soo transmigrated into Cale Henituse's body, he found that he still have Record, but not Instant.

Both are brain-related abilities, so why did TCF!Cale only retains Record?

Headcanon: Cale Henituse's body already have Record (if not, something similar)

The novel repeatedly stated that Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse have the same eye colour. On the other hand, one of the first descriptions we have of White Star is that his eyes are different from TCF!Cale.

As a story, it would be more satisfying to tell the readers that WS and Cale have the same eyes, to later reveal that WS is possessing TCF!Cale's original body, but that was not done here.

So this repeated reminders about KRS and Cale's eyes might be leading to something else.

Later in the novel, they met Sheritt and this happened:

It might be just the novels' redundant writing style, but after Sheritt recognised Cale's ability, the next paragraph is about how old Sheritt is compared to Eruhaben. This could imply that this ability does exist a long time ago in that world.

Maybe, just like Drew/Jour who somehow developed her own Ancient Power-a power that disappeared from that world a long time ago-the same thing happened with Og!Cale.

At first, I thought Drew/Jour just picked up the Ancient Power somewhere, but then I realized the implication of TCF!Cale hearing her voice as the Annual Rings of Life.

The voices TCF!Cale hear from the Ancient Powers are the original owners instead of the last person who possessed it. I came to that conclusion because Choi Jung Gun is the voice that speak through the Dominating Aura, instead of the White Star who is the last person to possess it.

Skip ahead to the meeting between TCF!Cale and Og!Cale/KRS, and we have this passage of KRS reminiscing about his mother.

Draw a parallel between TCF!Cale in Chapter 2:

"Somehow, I remember this thing that I should have forgotten if I was normal!" Both those paragraphs read like the same thing to me.

That might mean that Og!Cale has Record(or something similar) since he was very young, perhaps he was even born with it.

Now, let's go back to the first time TCF!Cale let his allies know about Record, this is Ron's reaction.

Bud could tell that Record is not an Ancient Power because of his wind-attribute Ancient Power, but he never told anyone about this fact.

I might be reading too much into this, but Ron sounded like he did not think Record is an Ancient Power. So why didn't he make that completely reasonable but wrong assumption?

Maybe he remembered Og!Cale showing signs of having extraordinary memories since he was very young, young enough that he couldn't have possibly picked up an Ancient Power.

Bonus: Og!Cale is the one who turned back time, not the God of Death

I might be wrong, but nowhere did the novel specifies that the one who turned back time was the God of Death.

I've got nothing more to add to this, which is why this is in the bonus section.

***

Screenshots and all informations used are taken from the novel (eatapplepies version).

Take everything with skepticism because TCF is a translated work, and we are merely taking in the story through the perspective of the translator.

Also, my memory is flawed and I might make leapts in logic that only make sense to myself.

Don't be afraid to add to this post, either to support or counter my theories.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 358: Records (3) / Chapter 368: Night Has Arrived (1) / Chapter 657: Everything can be connected (7) / Chapter 2: When I Opened My Eyes (1) / Chapter 359: No, then whatever (1) / Side Story 6-3: The God of Death's Observation Journal (3)

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 2: THE WEIRDO ON MAPLE STREET

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: This part is heavy. A lot of things are happening. Nancy and Diana's friendship dynamic will be tested throughout the season. I wanted to make this pool party as realistic as possible. In watching this episode, I understand Nancy's want to fit in, but it's at the expense of Barb in my opinion and I wanted to showcase how that feels through Diana. As a dancer, I hate when after finding out I am a dancer, people tell me to dance...it makes me uncomfortable. It's not a skill that is always on for me. The move Diana shows everyone is called a Scorpion (Rhythmic Gymnastic Style).

P.S. This is what I picture Diana wearing to the pool party.

Warnings: Sexual implications. Blood. Peer Pressure.

Word Count: 3517

Masterlist

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV || PART V

HARRINGTON RESIDENCE

When Steve said he was having a party, I never expected to be outside in his backyard, sitting on a lawn chair freezing to death. I shiver wrapping my arms around my knees. I have been here for over an hour and have done nothing but sit by the heated pool watching the water. The definition of ‘party’ was as lost as I felt. Tommy H attempts to throw Carol in the pool. She screams trying her best to escape his hold. I lean against Barb savouring her warmth and rest my head on her arm watching everything unfold. Nancy sits in a lawn chair beside Steve. Barb and I were long forgotten once we arrived. I am too cold to care.

“I thought parties were primarily inside the house.” I mumble. “What kind of party is this?” 

“A stupid one.” Barb responds with a sigh.

“All they do is smoke and drink. Where’s the food?” 

“Eating isn’t in style, I guess.”

I peer around Barb’s shoulder keeping an eye on Nancy and notice she is on her second beer for the night.  I groan, feeling restless and stand up to stretch my legs. 

“Did you want to go for a walk?” 

“Where?” 

“I don’t know, around the pool.” 

Barb looks at the pool, wrinkling her nose in distaste. “No thanks.” 

I pout, but don’t question her and begin my walk. 

“Diana, where are you going?” Nancy asks. 

“I’m tired of sitting around. I’m going to walk around the pool for a bit.” 

Nancy smiles, her blue eyes seem glazed and a little out of focused. “Okay. Just don’t leave.” 

“I won’t.” I respond, no matter how much I actually want to. 

I stroll along the edge of the pool thinking. Steve Harrington throws a lot of parties and I’m most certain the whole school has been to Steve’s house at least once in their lifetime. Which meant Steve’s parents weren’t home often. I look at the towering house and the expansive backyard. I don’t know what it’s like to be an only child, but I do know how it feels to be lonely even with others around. My gaze lowers to across the pool. Nancy smiles at Steve; they’ve been talking since we arrived leaving Barb and I alone. I don’t look at Tommy H and Carol, knowing they’re all over each other, stealing kisses and soft giggles. Instead, I look at Steve. Really look at him. His impressively beautiful hair, the cigarette behind his ear, the forgotten can of beer in his hand, the way he looks at Nancy. Like he…enjoys being around her. 

I tilt my head to the side. This is the first time I am privy to observing how Steve interacts with Nancy. He seems more…genuine and real. Not this superficial, arrogant "King Steve" persona he puts on at school or when he’s with Tommy H and Carol. I admit my perception of Steve Harrington is based on how others view and talk about him. He’s the boy we watch walk away. The Big Man on Campus. The Casanova. A glorified asshole. But in being in his house for this brief moment and seeing how he is with Nancy separate from Tommy H and Carol…maybe I had it all wrong and Steve Harrington isn’t that bad. 

A gust of wind blows past and I hug my jacket close to me. I am so cold I start to jump up and down. Sauté. Sauté. Sauté. I jump higher landing through my feet. Glissade assemblé. Glissade assemblé. I continue to jump from petit allegro to grand allegro and after a few minutes I begin to practice the Gargouillade.

“Do you ever sit down?” Tommy H shouts. 

I almost miss what he said and stop jumping. From across the pool, Steve, Nancy, Barb, Tommy H and Carol all stare at me with expressions ranging from awe to concern. 

“She’s practicing.” Nancy says. 

“For what?”

“The Nutcracker showcase next month.” 

Tommy H winces. “Sounds painful.” 

“What the hell is a Nutcracker?” Steve asks. 

“The Nutcracker,” Nancy corrects. “And it’s a two-act ballet by Tchaikovsky.” 

“Bless you.” Carol jokes, grinning. Tommy H kisses her temple.

I roll my eyes, putting my hands on my hips and pace back and forth in efforts to catch my breath. Sweat trickles down my back and I finally feel hot enough to take off my jacket. 

“Diana got one of the lead roles in the second act.” 

“Nancy.” I warn, marching to the other side of the pool. 

“What? It’s a big deal and you should be so proud of yourself!” 

“I am but…” I squeeze my jacket. Stop telling them my business! 

“How long have you been dancing?” Steve asks me, sipping his beer. I am taken aback by his question.

It’s the first time Steve is talking to me directly and not through Nancy. The first time I feel like he acknowledges me enough to talk to me despite the circumstance being forced upon me by Nancy. It takes me a moment to respond. 

“I-I was two when I started,” I stutter, looking anywhere but his face. “It’s how I met Nancy."

“You’re a dancer too?” He directs his question to her.  

“I quit last year.” 

“Why?” 

“I just didn’t want to dance anymore.” 

“Why not?” 

“I don’t know. I just didn’t…” she shrugs, finishing the last of the beer. Nancy wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Diana is gonna go pro one day.” 

I feel like I’m going to explode. Steve looks at me again and this time I meet his gaze. 

“Pro? Sounds like sports.” 

“Dance is a sport.” I interject. 

Steve raises his eyebrows, though his eyes tell me he doesn’t agree with me. I’m not surprised because it’s the common stigma surrounding dance. Becoming a professional dancer is a one in a million chance. There are so many odds to win against. Making money is dependent on the opportunities you get and with whom. It’s not as stable as a regular 9 to 5 and the training is extensive and strenuous that most don’t make it. 

“Diana has the grace, strength and flexibility.” Nancy continues. “Her lines are perfect; her feet are beautiful.”

“Lines?” Carol questions. 

My nails dig into my palms. 

"The way she moves is aesthetically pleasing. She can do crazy things with her body.” 

“Is that so?” Tommy H smirks. 

“Diana, show them!” 

My face feels like it’s on fire. Everyone is looking at me now. I shift from side to side wanting the ground to swallow me up. All this attention on me is too much and I feel like I can’t breathe.

“No, no. I-I can’t.” 

“Please, Diana?” Nancy pouts, clasping her fingers together. 

I want to tell her to stop. I hate being asked to dance outside of a studio. It makes me feel like a clown at a circus, ready to entertain and Nancy knows this. 

“I would love to see these crazy things you can do with your body.” Tommy H’s tone suggests something else entirely. 

“Me too!” Carol adds, leaning back on him. 

I shake my head, tucking a loose curl behind my ear. “It’s too cold.” 

“Just a kick then!” Nancy offers. 

“Yeah, just a kick, Diana.” Tommy H adds, smiling devilishly at me.  

“Nancy, I don’t think—” Barb begins. 

“Yeah, show us!” Carol interjects, smiling at me. 

Tommy H cheers aloud while clapping obnoxiously. I glance at the faces in front of me. Barb looks as uncomfortable as I feel and I can tell she’s trying to help me out of this situation but she is overshadowed by Tommy H and Carol. Steve looks surprisingly hesitant and Nancy’s hopeful face stares encouragingly at me. I close my eyes and sigh, placing my jacket on the empty lawn chair beside Barb. Nancy squeals in excitement as I perform some last-minute stretches to warm up my hips and back. 

Lifting my left leg up and grab the outer side of my foot with my left hand. I begin to push my back foot towards the sky as high as I can which is pretty high, considering its already by my ear without much effort. I turn my elbow outward so it’s pointing forward and in front of my head. I lift my other hand and grab my ankle with my right hand and meet my left hand with it. When I straighten my leg and pull my leg forward, the back of my thigh touches my head. I pull until I am in an over split. 

“Holy shit. How is that possible?” Steve exclaims. Nancy claps proudly while Steve stares at me wide eyed and confused. 

“That’s disgusting.” Carol says. 

“What are you?” Tommy H adds. 

I immediately let go of my leg and stand straight. They didn’t have to be so mean. 

“Okay, that’s enough.” Barb snaps, holding my jacket out to me. I take it from her, sitting in the lawn chair beside her. 

The “party” resumes as if nothing happened with Tommy H, Carol and Steve all standing finding someone or something else to entertain themselves with. Nancy watches Steve’s every move, trying to be discreet but failing. Tommy H and Carol stand near the pool and Tommy H tries to throw Carol inside again. Carol screams at the top of her lungs. 

“One, two, three.” 

 “You’re such an asshole, Tommy.” Carol giggles. 

Steve comes back with a can of beer in his hand. I can’t see what he’s doing until he quickly opens the can, putting his mouth on the side. I cringe thinking about all the germs on that can. He chugs the beer in a matter of seconds, dropping the can on the ground. 

“Is that supposed to impress me?” 

Steve plops himself on the lawn chair. The cigarette behind his ear, dangles from his lips. He looks at her feigning confusion.

“You’re not?” 

Of course, she is. 

“You are such a cliché; you do realize that?” 

“You are such a cliché.” Steve responds, reaching for a lighter on the side table. He lights his cigarette and inhales. “What with your grades and your band practice.” 

“I’m so not in band.” 

“Okay, party girl.” He hands her a can of beer and the blade, challenging her. “Why don’t you just show us how it’s done, then?” 

Barb and I look at each other. That would be Nancy’s third beer for the night. Any more and she’ll get sick. I close my eyes praying Nancy won’t do what I think she’s going to do. Barb shakes her head. 

“Okay.” 

Nancy standing up caught the attention of Tommy H and Carol. 

“You gotta make a hole at the bottom—”

“I got it.” 

“Yeah, she’s smart, you douche!” Tommy H laughs, crushing a beer can against his head. 

“That explains so much.” I mutter under my breath. Barb snorts, smiling. 

Nancy pokes a hole in the can of beer and quickly opens the top before she begins chugging the beer. 

“Chug, chug, chug! Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!” 

I’d be impressed, if I weren’t so taken aback by the way Nancy was acting. She drops the empty can on the floor, stumbling slightly. Tommy H, Carol and Steve all cheer and whoop for Nancy who curtsies in thanks. 

“Barb you wanna try?” 

Barb perks up. It’s the first time she’s been addressed the entire night. “What? No. No, I don’t want to. Thanks.” 

Nancy pouts. “Di?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

Nancy looks at Barb one more time. “Come on.”

“Yeah.” Steve encourages. I squint, shaking my head. 

“Nance. I don’t want to.” Barb hisses. 

Nancy ignores her putting another can of beer and the blade in Barb’s hand. “It’s fun! Just give it a shot.” 

“Nancy. She said no.” I interject, sternly. I can’t believe she’s forcing us to do things we clearly don’t want to do. 

“Okay. Fine.” 

Barb stands up in the centre of the circle. I look up at her feeling on edge about what was going to happen and what could happen. Barb isn’t equipped to poke a hole in the can. She doesn’t know how. The silence is so loud, it’s awkward and I want to grab Barb and tell her to sit down. Barb mumbles to herself, fiddling with the blade. She presses into the can, but the blade slips, slicing through her hand. Barb flinches, dropping the can and knife on the concrete. 

“Barb!” I shout, rushing to her. I hold her wrist in my hand to inspect the damage. Blood oozes out of the cut in her palm, trickling down her wrist and my fingers. “Oh my gosh.” 

“Gnarly.” Tommy H laughs. 

I glare at him, letting go of her wrist. “It’s not funny.” I snap. 

“Are you okay?” Nancy asks, her eyebrows etched with worry. She seemed to have sobered up a little. 

“Yeah.” Barb says. 

“Barb, you’re bleeding.” 

“I’m fine.” Barb replies, her voice is shaking and I know she’s fighting back tears. Barb looks at Steve. “Where’s your bathroom?” 

“Oh, it’s…it’s, uh, down past the kitchen to the left.” He stands up escorting her back to the house. 

I look at my hand and the dry blood sticking to my fingers and quickly grab my jacket from the lawn chair running after them. I can’t stand to be around Nancy right now. 

“I’m coming with you, Barb.”  

I hold Barb’s hand under the cold water in the downstairs bathroom. Steve left five minutes ago leaving me and Barb alone. The air feels thick and heavy around us as we stand in silence. I know Barb feels embarrassed about what happened and that’s the reason she’s not talking. I understand completely and allow her the time to process what had just happened. Removing Barb’s hand from the water, I quickly soap my hands and rinse them before closing the tap. I quickly dry my hands against the hand towel and tend to Barb. I take her hand and inspect the cut. 

“It’s not that deep which is good.” I comment. 

“Yeah.” 

The cut begins to bleed again and I take a heap of toilet paper and quickly wrap it around her finger tight to stop the blood. Barb watches me work. I tell her to hold the wound tight to stop the bleeding. Barb nods her head and sits down on the toilet seat staring at nothing in particular. I sigh deeply and crouch to her eye level placing my hands on her knees. 

“Are you sure, you’re okay, Barb?” I ask, softly. 

Dark brown eyes look at me. “I’ll be fine.” 

I frown, growing upset with what happened by the pool. “I don’t know what’s up with Nancy or why we’re even here. Did you see how she was acting out there? I felt like I was in a circus and you, Barb. Your hand.”

“She wants us to be her guardians. So that’s what we’re going to do. Guide her and make sure she doesn’t get too drunk and do something stupid.” 

“Like sleep with Steve Harrington.” It wasn’t a question. It was a fact. I shake my head. “We can’t stop her from doing that when she clearly wants to, Barb. Nancy can deny all she wants, but she wants to be here. She wants to get drunk and she wants to sleep with Steve.” And it doesn’t explain why we need to be here. 

“I know…” Barb says solemnly.

Neither of us say anything for a moment. I am lost in thought, drawling circles on Barbs thighs. If Nancy would just admit how much she likes Steve, Barb and I wouldn’t be here right now. Tonight, left me wondering where did my best friend go. That person out by the pool is not Nancy, it’s a version of her I don’t know nor want to know. She didn’t notice how uncomfortable Barb and I were tonight which is so out of character, I don’t even…I shake my head again, biting my lower lip. 

“Why are we here, Barb?” I ask quietly. 

“Because Nancy wants us to be here for her.” 

“Then why do I feel like…a handbag. An accessory in all of this? Why do I feel like she doesn’t want us here?”  

Barb doesn’t answer. I sigh and stand up feeling completely drained. I want to go home. I want to take a shower and sleep. I want to do anything but be here. I hear footsteps and laughter followed by Nancy and Steve’s voice. Barb and I look at each other before springing into action. We are scrambling out the door in seconds rushing towards the grand staircase. 

“Nance. Nancy!” Barb calls. 

Nancy pauses, hugging the towel against her face, looking at us.  Steve continues to walk the steps, not bothering to look back. I observe Nancy. She is drenched from head to toe with bits of mascara gathered around her eye. 

“Where are you going?” Barb asks. 

“Nowhere. Just upstairs…” she hesitates to respond finding the right words, “to change. I fell in the pool.” 

“Why don’t you go ahead and go home. I’ll just get a ride or something.”

My jaw drops. Go home? Go home? She begged us to come and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid, and now she wants us to leave? That’s all we ever wanted to do since arriving here. 

“Nance.” 

“Pardon?” 

Barb and I say at the same time. Nancy looks at us. 

“I said why don’t you go home.” 

“I know what you said, Nancy, but you asked us to be here for you.” 

 “I’m fine,” Nancy says with a hint of attitude. “You guys can go.” 

I stare at her for a moment trying to figure out where my best friend went. “Did we do something wrong? 

“No.” 

“You seem like you’re mad at us.” 

Nancy sighs, rolling her eyes. “I’m not mad at you guys. I can just tell you don’t want to be here so you can both go home. I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” 

Barb and I don’t speak for a moment. I’m too frustrated to say another word. I lied to my parents to be here. I lied to Mrs. Wheeler to be here. I wanted nothing to do with this and Nancy knew that, yet Barb and I were forced to be here, ridiculed and embarrassed. And Nancy doesn’t see any of it. She only sees Steve Harrington. 

“Nancy. This isn’t you.” Barb says, sadly. 

“I’m fine, Barb. Just go, both of you.”  

Nancy races upstairs without looking back. I scoff shaking my head. Unbelievable. I turn towards the door grabbing Barbs arm. 

“Let’s go.” I snap. 

I am stunned when Barb resists. She looks at me with sympathy and I immediately know what she’s about to say. 

“I’m gonna stay here…” 

“Barb, are you serious?” I exclaim. I don’t care how loud I’m being. 

“I know, I know,” Barb says pinching the bridge of her nose. “But I can’t leave her here.” 

“She just told us to go home and I don’t know about you, but I’m not staying where I’m not wanted.” 

“I just can’t leave Nancy here alone.” 

My chest feels hollow. What about me? I want to ask. Barb was supposed to be our ride home. With Nancy staying and Barb staying with her, I had no way of getting home. But I refuse to linger around while Nancy stays upstairs with Steve. I can’t call my parents; I’m not supposed to be here across town. I’ll get in so much trouble, I doubt I’ll be able to leave my house for anything other than school and dance for a long time. I can’t risk it. I look at the door behind me. The thought of walking home alone scares me and I wish Barb would leave Nancy and come with me. Be with me, like I’ve been with her when she cut her hand. 

My nostrils flare as I push down the tears brimming my eyes. No. This is your mess, Diana. You have to fix it. I swallow the lump forming in my throat and I stand straight holding my head high.  

“If that’s what you want to do,” I say quietly. “I’m going home.” 

“Are you going to call your parents?” Barb asks, eyes slightly wide. 

I shake my head, putting my jacket on. “I’m just going to walk.” 

“Walk!? Diana, c’mon. Just stay here—” 

“No, I can’t.” I say with finality. 

Looking defeated, Barb nods her head, pulling me in for a hug. “Be safe. Please.” she whispers. 

I hold Barb tight, breathing in her floral scent. Neither of us let go for a long moment and a part of me feels like this hug was a…farewell. I release myself from her hold and glance down at her finger. It’s still bleeding, drenching the white tissue paper a bright red. 

“You be safe too, Barb. Please find a bandage for your finger.” 

“Yes, mom.” Barb teases. 

I smile and it feels genuine. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” 

NEXT -> PART V

[sageandred]

🚒🚨🚔 911 Lone Star ⭐️ Rewatch Notes—Season 1 ~

1x01

So first thing in the opening: somehow I forgot the guy microwaved a wrapped burrito. I wonder if Judd thinks about this being the origin for his team's deaths.

Anyway, the nitrate being the cause to the explosion could've totally been avoided with a quicker alert, but seems realistic and just sad to Judd's initial backstory.

It's crazy to me how TK was ready to propose without knowing what living together was like. I could say so much abt the implications of their relationship and how it was bad even before the knowledge of cheating.

Oh my god, I almost forgot about Michelle. (her yelling on the bf's porch is her best scene, lol)

TK tells his dad the AA meetings are better than in New York, but 2 episodes later he says to Carlos he's felt "gray" since he got here. He doesn't want his dad to worry. And Carlos ends up being the first person he is honest with on how he feels in Austin.

So glad Michelle and Owen never became a thing

It's crazy-Judd's PTSD was such a key thing in the first episode that kept me watching; I wanna see him in a leading position storyline again with his new journey in s5.

1x02

"TK, get the cuffs." "We don't have any cuffs, cap." is actually good-funny!

The infamous episode 2 hook-up: This entire scene has been analyzed, but I'll reiterate: How hooked Carlos must've been based on his reaction after. TK, as well, being laid out on the couch. Their kissing was so hungry; this was crazy. Also, I feel so bad for Carlos how TK's rushing out, and he knows it at the very end there, but is hoping it's not what he thinks.

I honestly like a lot of the calls better than 911. The balance/self-awareness of silliness and tearjerk moments on the calls (including the one with the overlords; also racist lady, and the unknown mercury poisoning) are so heartwarming, tbh. ❤️

The iconic "it's a meal, not a marriage proposal" table scene: it also just occurred to me, (or I remembered(?)), the implication that Carlos doesn't engage in hookup culture a lot or AT ALL based on the context of this scene ("I don't do this a lot." "Clearly.." and how he's acting)

1x03

The corn silo call and seeing how stupid TK is [affectionate] so early on to try saving Marjan. They really had an unspoken bond from day 1. (literally allergic to leadership when he feels he knows best)

"Just grinning like the butcher's dog, huh?" Judd is sooo <3 😆

2 observations from Carlos' talk w/Michelle about TK *and it's taken for context of him being out but never having anyone serious enough to introduce to his parents*: 1) he's probably never gotten used to texting first or cared enough to pursue [when Michelle suggests] (and that his fear of rejection in this moment could stem from his mom or dad never showing acceptance for his sexuality), and 2) he calls TK a "ten," and before, Michelle says "doesn't it always get weird?" about Carlos and his hook-ups.

#Grudd "So then, you got your point across." "I. did. not." I love them!

The beginning of Paul and Marjan-they don't show their friendship enough, but they connect so well from the beginning!

Like father, like son- so Owen fights off his frustrations like TK (where he gets it from). They're both keeping secrets from each other and don't deal w/their emotions well, because part of him wanted to get out his anger for his diagnosis. (perhaps, loose correlation, but trying to distract himself by being Michelle's hero somehow circles back to what the man in the cancer ward said about Owen wanting to "play hero ball" by being prideful and trying to solve things without support from his family/team)

I like how they wrote TK and Judd resolving their conflict-TK cutting off Judd in the middle of his apology, as he's struggling to do so & apologizing as well (they get each other so much).

1x04

The Tornado episode: when they feel like a full-blown family

Marjan and Judd conversing in the firetruck about religion made me think compared to the rest of the 126, they interact very little in one-on-one situations, but there's some small moments and background instances later on t/o the show of their bond! (maybe it was born out of understanding from this scene?!)

Owen advising Mateo about not bottling stuff up and Mateo opening up about the call: an early predecessor to what happens in (4x11) the sitcom episode. also, take your own advice!

Owen not telling TK his diagnosis vs telling him before he is confirmed to getting a different one in season 4 is growth.

1x05

"..incels--Involuntary celibates." "That's a thing?" "We used to just call them losers." just Nancy appreciation things

TK counting the days from Alex breaking up with him and calling him his "soulmate". I'm so dumb, I just realized TK knowing the days is 116 (that would've been a lot of time to count otherwise) is because it's the same day he broke his sobriety (i think i forget abt this every time i come across this scene).

[Judd has flashback and ptsd reaction on scene at the call]

It's interesting how 911 starts further in to the team-like connectedness and LS shows the probie-induction for full length episodes. like they don't let Mateo do anything. "[I'm] their spotter, sir?"... "There's another one!" 😂😅 (also cuz Mateo literally failed four times, I KNOW)

1x06

I'm obsessed w/all of Marjan's solo friendships with the boys. That is all. [the early scene in the episode with the credits still rolling]

"Whenever you get stressed, just remind yourself that...soon you're gonna die anyway...if you can convince your brain that none of it really matters anyway, then you'll basically be a Jedi." some genuinely solid advice (ep. has some unexpectedly uplifting words, and this is a great heart-to-heart in it)

I will say they've got the friendship moments down pat with the team-building these last 2 episodes and the last few scenes of each episode solidify that! The developmental, 'forming-of-the-friendships' scenes in s1 are rlly great by showing members bond individually, along with all of the nice natural chemistry and camaraderie on calls, including looks and side comments.

1x07

Paul has such a right to be upset abt Owen keeping his diagnosis a secret when they relocated and now their jobs could be on the line, because of Billy and his mission.

Oh my gosh, Carlos literally says, "I'm a patrol officer, not an investigator." look where you are now (I've had thoughts on the journey from officer to ranger and how it's good!)

[JUDD STANDING UP FOR HIS CREW!!] to keep their jobs to Billy and for Owen to fix the mess he created

1x08

BUTTERCUP!!!

The Norman-Norma Bates call always was one I really liked.

"Okay, she dead." Tim, I miss you.

"Man, you're being a dick to a cancer dog? That is not a good look, bro." [the way he said it- just some shameless Paul appreciation]

"You knew that I was going to fall in love with it...and I won't be able to take that." so sweet

"Yeah, I think this is about more than the dog." omg, Owen is slow ❤️

Now that I'm over the initial sadness of Grace being replaced, I'm interested in how Wyatt does as a dispatcher and what kind of calls he has that tie into the episode themes.

TK's first on-screen NDE via on scene first response calls. you got a lot more coming your way, buddy

Aww Paul in the back offscreen (who can't see what's going on) screaming for TK when he gets shot

Michelle is "Blue Eyes" singing and Iris is "Sad Eyes"? why did this just click for me

1x09

a side-note: Judd is so unserious, always laughing during the calls [here for pregnancy delivery gender-reveal party; & so many situations t/o the season (and this is not including the one where he reacted due to ptsd, obviously)]

[TK always thinking about other people-how the kid who shot him is dealing when he first wakes up (they tell us exactly what a dominant trait in his characterization that will be)].

"Are you my doctor?" "No, I'm his..date." "You brought a date[to the hospital]?" Fr & "So, are you gonna tell me how long you've been seeing her?" "When you tell me how long you've been seeing the cop." are the funny father-son moments that shine

The show joking about how soon TK will return to work and Mateo earnestly asking "in a couple weeks?" to which Judd says "sooner than that" and tells the story of an LA firefighter coming back in a month after rebar went through his brain (911 reference). oh I didn't get this b4. also, I do love the whole awareness of speedy recoveries & that we're just gonna accept it <3

Judd doesn't like the extra work of filling in as captain. Is this smthing relevant for later (idk)?

Again- "they said you might heal up in 10 days." love it!

"There's turns in there that are 2 ft wide." and "that excludes everybody except..." I love Marjan and Mateo getting their moment (she's had some already, but..)

["who do you normally talk to about these things?"] "Well I guess there is my boyfriend-who I don't even really know is my boyfriend, boyfriend." so cute <3 they were like this already early on

TK became a firefighter because he followed in Owen's footsteps, because he wanted a father, after he wasn't there that much (*this is just a recap note for the plot). additionally, age confirmation this ep that TK is 26.

maybe we can get more of Judd's family or extended family in s5 (and bonding with Wyatt since he's never met them)

1x10

The concept of this episode is so good (Solar Storm)! That opening kind of hits! × the way you don't really know what's going on and there's all these mishappenings on the street ❤️

"Paul did it." damn Mateo wastes no time accussing his big bro <3

This episode is a very slow in a good way; I like the pacing, so far!

The airplane power line rescue where Owen jumps out last minute-"I give you a 2 for style and 10 for timing." Judd dgaf throwing digs at the 126, including his cap all the time (I never noticed how much). [+ his rocky relationship start w/Owen that quickly turns to Judd calling him out as soon as he does is wild, because it's towards his boss]. it's been the whole season! <3

I know it's disputed for if it was planned all along for what we find out in s4, but Iris mentions Carlos here in a familial manner like she was closer with him than Michelle.

The astronaut 😭! don't know if it's my favorite s1 call, but it's definitely up there (i take it back-very likely it might be my favorite call of season one!) <3

Don't mind me I'm just emotional abt TK's journey this season capping off with him opening up to the crew abt something so personal as his addiction. This trust is where the Catan hangs were born.

[fitzrove]

One undertheorised aspect of Elisabeth [yes I'm approaching the show like a research field] is that of the POV in Mayerling. Setting aside/ignoring my favourite interpretation (ie. Lucheni's POV colours every scene from beginning to end), I started thinking: could it be we're seeing it through Elisabeth's eyes?

The first time Elisabeth acknowledges the mirror imagery (which is built between her and Rudolf in the Vienna-based productions) is literally right after his death - "you were like me, you needed me / I left you on your own to free myself -- / The fault is mine". She seems to see "the truth" (what the show has constructed for us to see from the start - Elisabeth's emancipation and Rudolf's isolation) and blames herself for it. And that "truth", as it is represented in the show, includes (personified) Death.

But is it really "the truth", or is it what Elisabeth has come up with in her long solitary hours despairing in the crypt? Has she, while mourning him, just begun to think back on everything she knows about Rudolf and reinterpreted his life as a nightmare similar to her own - looking to Death for guidance and comfort and yet suffering as a result? Maybe Elisabeth isn't just observing; she's interpreting and creating (the narrative) before our eyes. What we see happen to Rudolf before that point is her hindsight. And ok the implications are kind of horrifying especially for Schatten reprises where Tod really goes at it physically, like, her imagining Rudolf suffering like that - like she has with depression as well, in DLT and WITW - over and over (in Mayerling too) and not being able to stop it because he's already dead.

Granted, there are some things that make this less likely: ie. the overall strength of the Lucheni interpretation (I think it's the canon one honestly, there's too much evidence to ignore) as well as the historical fact that Elisabeth remained mostly ignorant of Rudolf's political writings and aspirations even after his death, but it's still interesting to think about.

In any case I don't think Rudolf is in control of his own narrative like traditional fictional characters are - and why should he be, he's a minor character in a show using storybook/circus/etc aesthetics as an artistic device. He's in control of his actions within that narrative (ie. Elisabeth saying his death is her fault is not really true), but he's really a plot device. And therefore:

1)conspiracy bad XDD

2) Mirror imagery good, hence removing the mayerling kiss horribly bad

3) what if Elisabeth made up Mama, schatten reprise and Mayerling after the fact, while despairing and overthinking what she could've done differently during Totenklage (out of all the candidates for "narrator"/POV character, Rudolf is just about the unlikeliest person in the show - he's only born halfway in and dies before it ends)

Fourth point under the cut for whining XD Might delete that part later

4) i keep saying this ad nauseam but we do not really need more/expanded mayerling (or rudolf immorality) stuff in the show ahsjfkggkkf. I get that in terms of history and the public sphere, we need justice and spotlight for Mary, but the show is about the death of liberal politics through Rudolf and it's already unclear to some people so we don't need to make it more confusing for them. Based on the level of reading comprehension online re my favourite shows I don't trust people to understand the symbolic death of liberal Europe in the face of Hass AND the rudolf-elisabeth mirror imagery AND Rudolf as a historical person being complicated and shitty. The last one can be brought into it through acting I think, but we don't need to change the staging to be heavier on the historical Mayerling stuff. You can criticise the portrayal, you can think Elisabeth does a bad job of portraying Rudolf and normalizes abuse or murder or something, but you can't really change how it's depicted without wrecking the architecture of the show. Rudolf literally has no canon personality beyond "sad" [being gay for death is part of this] and "struggling politically"

I promise i'm not sexist and horrible btw akjsjdjdfkgkg. But like legit. Rudolf already comes as a matching set with the mayerling affair in the public sphere. Elisabeth is like the only thing where his political legacy (or lack thereof) is of equal importance, and the portrayal is generally sympathetic. I'm not saying we can't do more rudolf media that addresses it with more complexity, but Elisabeth is not the time or place - especially since if we did include more of the Mary stuff (as a staging choice, since the script is set), it would almost certainly fail to do anything meaningful in terms of her historical legacy, given that she wouldn't be named (can't stop the mayerling sequence to give a spoken rundown of events...), and her life and personality beyond the circumstances of her death would once again be overshadowed by her ending up in Mayerling

[forgotteneilionora]

OOC | Eilionora & Marian

forgottenarias said:  @giadesstrin I was legit contemplating if Marian would like Aria or not but i’m guessing now she does? or at least is cordial enough that she can be like “hey another one of my kids is on death’s door HELP PLEASEEEE” giadesstrin said:  @forgottenarias dgjjfdgh omgggggg I didn’t really think abt that relationship I love that!!!! I’m screaming now too bc like…She’s honestly in such a weird position re: her bc like on one hand her hubby wants to marry her sister???? On another her son is interested in her??? And on yet ANOTHER she’s a professed enemy of her house who helped save her son like??!?!! Poor Marian honestly what a position to be in sgjkfsfhj how is anyone supposed to deal w ALL of that good AND bad shkkgdfh forgottenarias said:  @giadesstrin I need to do an OOC for Marian & Eilia but I def think Marian doesn’t want Roderick to marry her 1) because there doesn’t need to be any other contenders in this heir to the throne race and 2) as much as she still loves him, being married to Roderick is definitely not all it is cracked up to be! Part of marian wants to protect her from him! forgottenarias said:  @giadesstrin and with Aria I think that Marian def wouldn’t like her if there was event the slightest implication of even a potential of some sort of romantic relationship w/ Arthur bc NO ONE is ever going to be good enough for her first born! Sorry ladies! You clearly just want him for his money/power! But Aria being proactive in this above instance and not really wanting anything in return is not a thing she’s used to so she’s not sure WHAT to think rn! Plus she fixed her precious child!!! 

sdfasdf ok so i thought id go ahead and make an ooc for them, and i included the bit abt aria bc i do think that that has the potential to impact eilia/aria things as well!

ok so!! i honestly think that eilia at first thought that it was just really weird that roderick had all these wives and she was like WHY WOULD THEY PUT UP W THAT but uhhhh recently she's been like 'oh. ig maybe they didn't get much of a choice' bc that's certainly been ~her experience re: dating roderick hahaha and eilia def has more agency than they did, being -- though deposed -- a queen so now honestly i think she just feels sooooo horrible for them and is lowkey looking at them -- these two V DIFFERENT yet both v clearly unhappy women -- like 'there but by the grace of the guardians go i' basically laskdjfkdlsf and honestly i think atp she's really come around in the way she looks at them both!! esp marian (bc i def think amira gives off resting bitch face but as a full blown personality disorder even if ur tryna approach her whole deal optimistically alskdjflksjdfajdf)!!!!!

i ~do think if she knows that a lot of the varmont kids have a good relationship w the malconaires that would def be a boost in their favor bc eilia trusts them etc but i ~do think eilia is still feeling far from trusting of the varmonts, themselves, even if she does know that!! just...'at least they're not as horrible as i thought' rather than 'they're good ppl after all' basically hahaha and i do think that, given that its looking more or more like she might be wife #4, eilia has been thinking abt what roderick might look like as a dad since she's now afraid he might be the father of ~her children, and she's like YIKES

so, all in all, she's feeling much more sympathetic towards both marian and her family (minus roderick, STILL decidedly NOT a fan of his)!! and esp w marian on the cusp of this w her sister, i can see where they could maybe start having more ~honest conversations, perhaps? bc i do feel that eilia has played this entire thing by being observant and polite -- stalwart where she needs (ie when it comes to her country and astairans and keeping them safe etc) to be but other than that mostly closed off emotionally and courteous, but basically just tryna give them NOTHING bc she figures they'll use anything at all against her they can

but yeah its been a looooong journey getting there i feel hahahaha and even now she'd def be tentative and clam up at the slightest sign of trouble ngl