#obsessed with this phrasing

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

Guys i think my package is traumatized?

[no-face-no-shame]

I just saw someone say "I jest" instead of "I'm joking" and I can already tell that my vocabulary has been altered forever

[originalaccountname]

dazai fluffy cat because when he gets wet he dissappears and becomes a soggy twig

[abbyfmc]

Yandere emperor! X Female! Reader Phrases:

-"From the moment i saw you, i wanted to make you mine and now you will, no Matter what"- In this phrase the emperor would be declaring himself to you, and making it clear that you will NOT leave the palace in any way.

-"Looking at you is so cute, so i brought you with me so i can do It more often"- There's not much explanation here. It's simple an excuse to stay close to him.

-"I Will give you my love and everything you want, but only if you submit to me"- Here the emperor would try to make a deal with you in which if you submit to him, he will improve your living conditions and that of your family or in this case, your clan.

-"At first, I thought you were just another boring consort, but you made me see that you weren't like that and... I have to keep you and protect you from the evil of the world"- Due to the environment where he grew up, the Yandere emperor thought that everyone would always have something against him, just as he saw his own consorts fighting among themselves and setting up palace intrigues; However, you remained in your own world, involved in your own business and thus, isolated from all the conflicts of th harem, which made him begin to become interested in you.

-"I want to make you my empress, or at least, my consort"- The yandere emperor had been obsessed with you for some, and he told you this privately when he had the chance.

-"I am the emperor. The ruler of all the villages, tribes and kingdoms you see around you. Every king of every kingdom, tribe or village is forced to obey me. So, if you escape, i will order your search and they will not hesitate to return you to me, where you always belonged"- This would be a severe warning from him to you.

-"I will protect you, no matter what"- This would be like a promise he would make if you accepted his feelings for good.

-"If you behave well with me, your family and clan will be safe, but if you do something bad or run away, you won't be the only one to be punished"- The yandere emperor KNOWS that your clan or family is important to you, so he constantly reminds you of your duty to love only him in exchange for the well-being of your people.

-"Keep an eye on her for me"- The emperor, due to his obligations as ruler of an empire, will not be able to watch over you himself forever; so he will order his imperial guards, eunuchs or maids to take care of you and watch over you.

-"This will be your new home from now on"- The yandere emperor would lock you in your own palace after forcing you to marry him, declaring you his new empress or concubine.

-The end for now.

[hedgehog-moss]

It’s always funny when anglo writers looking to express a specific idea casually pluck a cool ready-made monosyllabic phrase from their language’s unlimited supply and Romance language translators just curl up in the fœtal position and cry. I'm reading a text in which the American author talks about ‘Haves’ vs ‘Have-Nots’ vs ‘Have-Mosts’ —the poor French translator translated this as ‘ceux-qui-ont’ (the French language: don’t worry I’m just getting warmed up), ‘ceux-qui-n’ont-pas’ (nice we’ve doubled the syllable count but we mustn’t falter), and the beautiful ‘ceux-qui-ont-plus-que-tous-les-autres’ (300% expansion ratio let’s gooo! we did it great work everybody.) From 2 to 8 syllables—the minute I saw that bulky thing I knew it had to be Have-Mosts in the original and I was giggling. The anglo author happily proceeds to use the phrase ‘Have-Mosts’ 5 times per paragraph because why not! it’s so quick and wieldy :) we don’t actually need the word wieldy 'cause it’s just the normal state of our language <3 meanwhile you can feel the French translator’s desperation grow as she is reduced to juggling with “those” and “the latter” to avoid summoning her creature. Eventually she reaches the acceptance stage and uses ceux-qui-ont-plus-que-tous-les-autres again like, it’s my monster. I shouldn’t reject it

[valtsv]

I think I look at your posts too often cause my parents told me one of my aunts works in a “saint factory” and my only thought was “damn, just like the tumblr guy was talking about”. And not like. The place where they make saint statues.

in the silt verses this would be the equivalent of claiming that you're directly related to someone who worked on the atom bomb

[daftpatience]

previews of what's to come next week :)

[rooolt]

and she’s an unmarried woman in her mid 40s living in her sister’s back house in the 1950s,,,,,,,,,,, which could mean nothing

[littlelosthings]

WOE…..!!! HETEROS UPON YE

[chronicowboy]

why is this possibly the funniest thing i've ever read?

[snersona]

gotham citys normalest girl

[jarellquansah]

🫢 (x)

[eggrolls-and-fandoms]

You ever think about how Kris must’ve felt when Berdly got control-wired by Queen. Do you think they stared in horror as their friend, or at least their peer and ally, was forced to attack when he clearly didn’t want to? Struggling and struggling, but the attacks kept coming anyway? Do you think they felt phantom wires and strings where they could see them on Berdly? Do you think they were full of dread for if Berdly would collapse like Spamton had without the wire? Do you think their eyes stung when Berdly ripped it out and said, “now, thanks to my comrades kindness… their MERCY… I can take my freedom.” Do you think that gave them hope after failing to help Spamton take his own freedom? Do you think it gave them determination to keep fighting to take their own?

[atompalace-official]

learning a few Spanish phrases with Pokémon ✨

[stubblesandwich]

[inquisitiveheretic]

almost running into patrick onstage “felt like being on black ice and crashing into a forest” pete wentz the poet that you are