#of all the schools that can heal- which are many- light's is both the most powerful and the easiest to comprehensively fuck up

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

laymen often comment that the primal forces of magic in fact seem rather underpowered; that it is only by marrying two or more of them together that one can achieve any kind of usefulness. this is the result of abandoning depth for breadth, but an understandable decision. the difficulty encountered is that in order to excel, truly excel at any one primal force, one must alter their understanding of reality fundamentally.

mages of space view the world as expanses, more easily manipulated once grasped, for good and for ill—they become impossible to disorient, but extremely dense objects feel, to their magic, like impossibly vast distances. time mages, on the other hand, eschew distance and see everything as a long line of history. a mage of time can take that line and follow it back to its source, or use it to choose the future they find most preferable.

to a mage of light, the world becomes not space or time or air or gravity, but rather: a series of laws. of facts, and extrapolations following the facts. but seeing is only the first step: the second is daring to take one's own pen and strike out the lines of the contract deemed undesirable.

it is then perhaps unsurprising that the students of light were the ones who set their sights so high. believing fully in their own right to determination, they identified the chief bottleneck in their abilities and sought to remove it. each magical force filters through a divinity—save now for one. the mages of light have killed their god.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 6 Where you are

Chapter 6 of Sugar

A/N- I hope you guys are enjoying the series so far!!

Warning- Swearing, FLUFF!!, talks of blood and self inflicting wounds, long chapter.

Pairing- Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode- Half of 2x01- 2x03

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

The most dangerous thing about the good times is that you may grow too comfortable with them.

Ever since the incident with the mundane non-sorcerer capturing you, life wasn’t easy, you couldn’t be as naive. Yet when you began to date Suguru, he basked you in a beaming light, he’s helped you heal from that pain, that trauma. It’s true you’ll always have to live with those memories, but being with him has brought this good comfort to your life that was lost. You aren’t naive again, but you’ve never felt more alive.

So now that you are comfortable with life again all you want is this, you want to keep your friends, Suguru, and Satoru by your side. You want to continue living where you are now, in this happiness.

“Hey guys, I’m back—” You quickly cut yourself off after you open the gym door and walk into Suguru glaring at your brother, and your brother blabbing about something you can see is annoying Suguru.

“Quit making yourself feel better by sprouting bullshit.” Satoru raises his hand and pretends to act disgusted. “Blegh.”

What a pain in the ass. Why do they have to be like this?

Shoko spots you and quickly chooses to take her chance to run to you still by the door.

“Actually,” you announce loudly as you let the doors go and back up. “Forget I’m here.”

There’s one thing you’ve grown to really, truly hate since being here at school, and that is Suguru and Satoru arguing. They don’t get into physical fights, or stop talking to one another for periods of days—actually the day after you told Satoru you were dating Suguru, Suguru said he acted normal. So their arguments don’t escalate to nothing bad, but they are super fucking annoying!

Satoru and Suguru both have different ideals. Suguru always tries to have your brother see things his way. Suguru tries to humble your brother, but Satoru is hard headed so he doesn’t listen, he argues back and just makes things a petty mess. Which is why when they get like that you just stay out of it and or leave them alone until things cool off again.

And like now for example, and like many times before, Shoko leaves with you.

“How was today?” You ask her as you walk away from the gym.

Shoko shrugs nonchalantly. “Easy, but that’s why I got sent. It did feel nice going out with them though.”

You shoot her a small smile and interject. “You kill any curses?”

Shoko shakes her head. “Nah, Satoru and Suguru did most of the work. I was the support, and I was there for the experience.

You laugh softly. “I’d love to have you as my support,” you tease her. “I know I’d get my work done quicker.”

Shoko pushes your shoulder slightly. “Don’t tease me like that or I’ll gladly take you away from Geto.”

You both laugh and proceed to hook your arms around each others. Once you both calm down you cut in. “Are you free while Suguru finishes arguing with my brother? I want to practice my reverse cursed technique.”

Shoko looks at you with her eyebrows knitted together. “And you need me for what?” She asks. “To explain how it works?” She sighs and tilts her head away. “Because I really suck at that.”

You shake your head. “No, I know how it works, but I’m still learning though, so I need you to be my lookout, and to guide me,” you explain.

Shoko’s gaze drifts to you and she offers you a small smile. “Okay, I can do that.”

Like with Suguru, you take Shoko to your favorite spot up the hill and by the pond.

“So you know the basics, right?” Shoko inquires as she lets your hand go to sit on the bench whilst you sit on a large flat rock in front of the pond.

“Yes,” you agree. “Negative cursed energy times negative cursed energy equals positive cursed energy. It’s easy to grasp!”

Shoko folds her arms over her chests and shrugs. “You’d think, but only a selected few actually grasp the concept.”

You hum softly in agreement, and proceed to put your hand out and point your palm to the sky to quickly get into it before Suguru can find you.

“I learned it when I was a little girl,” you let Shoko know as you pick up a sharp enough looking stone from the ground around you. “I’ve just never actually developed it since I focused on bettering my cursed technique instead. But now that I’m here and actually have time. And now that you’re my friend and have such a special skill,” you flatter her. “I can finally focus on actually mastering RCT.”

You push the sharp stone towards your palm, but hesitate to actually cut it.

Albeit you know there’s no other way to actually practice without having to heal something. But, fuck! You are scared of the fucking pain.

You’re been through worse, but this is voluntary—But there’s no other way to get better. At least for you anyway.

Fuck! Fuck…okay here goes nothing.

You press the sharp end of the stone deep in your flesh and slice your palm, causing blood to quickly rush out and drop onto the rock you sit on.

It hurts like hell, but you try your best to drift your focus on healing your wound. After all, when it comes down to it, on a mission you’ll need to use RCT to heal your body, or worse, pull you from the nasty grasps of death. Which is why you inhale deeply and try to drift that positive cursed energy from your chest to your wounded palm. However, it’s as your chest rises that Shoko quickly leaves her spot on the bench and crouches down in front of you.

“No,” she cuts in and grabs your wrist, not caring if she could get stained by blood. “Unlike our cursed energy which flows from our stomach,” she says as she swiftly moves her hand over to touch your stomach. “RCT is directed from the brain,” she says and now moves her hand to point at your head.

RCT is something you barely grasped, but never dived too deep into. So what she says is really surprising and informative.

“Alright,” you mutter and let your breath go to now drive your focus to your head, to focus on the negative cursed energy you produce to positive.

And it’s funny, or great in a sense. You can actually feel your mind producing that positive cursed energy, it feels…tingly but soothing. As you focus on driving it to your bleeding wound you can actually feel that positive cursed energy flowing to your hand. It’s amazing.

Yet nothing beats how awe-striking it is to watch RCT stitch your flesh back together. If it weren’t for the blood staining your hand, it’d be like nothing ever happened. There’s not even a scar.

Then again, the cut was small and done without cursed energy hurting you. Scars can still form on severe cases.

“I need you to promise me something, Y/N Gojo,” Shoko interjects, causing your attention to snap to her standing up—“with RCT directed from your brain it means that if you face an opponent and they figure out you can heal yourself, they’ll go for your head so you can’t heal. So,” she says softly. “Always protect your head. You are more skilled in long range combat after all.”

You blink in surprise to her expression of affection. She’s not someone who actually acts cool and distant like Nanami, she shows her affection in her own ways, but it’s rare hearing her express it verbally and with such vulnerability.

“Well,” you sigh. “That’s true,” you agree. “But Satoru and Suguru are both helping me train in close combat, so down the line I’ll be comfortable using both.”

Shoko averts her gaze and hums softly as she nods. “Okay,” she says before sliding her eyes back to you. “Well that doesn’t change anything. Promise me you’ll protect your head…life around here would be pretty boring without you.”

You push yourself up and approach her with an assuring smile. “Well if that’s the case,” you say. “Then I promise I’ll always try to be careful, Ieiri. I swear.”

Said girls lips pull to a soft smile before she chuckles and nods. “Good,” she mumbles. “Now,” she sighs and sits on the bench again. “Heal a cut made by the stone I’ll imbue with my cursed energy because—”

“They’re harder to heal,” you finish for her as you step back and sit back down on your spot.

Shoko scoffs. “No—well sometimes, but actually, they’re slower to heal.”

You hum in comprehension and pick up a different stone to throw over to her waiting hand. And just like she mentioned, when you cut your palm with the stone imbued by cursed energy, you feel the RCT heal your wound slower than before. This time rather than it feeling soothing, when your hand begins to heal, it feels…irritating for the first few seconds until you don’t feel anything.

Is it going to feel like this all the time then? That’s annoying.

“See, now you’ve mastered it,” Shoko deadpans. “Easy. Just remember that it comes from your brain, not your stomach, so please don’t fry your brain either.”

You lean back on the rock by putting your arms back, and then counter her. “It might be easy, but I need to perfect it.”

Shoko shrugs sluggishly. “I guess.”

Now that you’ve got that over with, you wonder where Suguru is. It’s been a while now and you did agree to train together today.

Did they really get in a fight?

You to Sugar: Did you and my brother kill each other or? Where are you?

“Can you help me later?” Shoko interjects. “My lab rats only get me so far, I need to test out on a person.”

Your face twists in horror. She wants you to be her labrat?

The last time that happened you ended up with a broken nail and a twisted wrist. It hurt! Seeing your nail break hurt your soul.

“Well…” You roll out hesitantly and avert your gaze.

However, before you can answer your phone goes off as a message arrives. When you check you instantly smile.

Sugar: Here

Your smile fades and you feel confused now. Nevertheless just as you were typing your probing question, multiple footsteps can be heard approaching the area. When you look over to the path you catch sight of Suguru coming up the hill first. You shoot each other a smile before suddenly Satoru runs past him and runs over to you to push you down before he runs past you.

“Hey!” You shout before you get up and chase after him.

Satoru doesn’t run away fast, so you catch up to him quickly and push him back.

Satoru laughs and lets himself fall beside Shoko on the bench. You don’t get carried away and leave him be, instead you just glare at him whilst Suguru falls beside you.

“What were you guys fighting about earlier?” You express your curiosity since you walked in while it was already tense.

“Nothing,” Satoru answers bluntly, whilst Suguru proceeds to answer at the same time with an actual response.

“Difference in morals, Yaga cut us off before anything could develop though.”

You roll your eyes in annoyance. You should’ve known, it was almost always the same thing.

“Anyway, onto actually interesting news,” Shoko cuts in and pushes your knee with her shoe. “Y/N here mastered RCT.”

You shake your head and quickly rebuttal her. “Not mastered. I still need to get better, but yes I've understood the concept a lot better now. Which will help me better.” You tried not to but you can’t help it. You get excited to show it off, especially to your brother. “Watch!”

You proceed to pick up the stones you had been using, and while Shoko imbues one stone with her cursed energy you use the other normal stone to cut your palm again.

“That doesn’t seem sanitary whatsoever,” Satoru mutters as he watches you lean over to let Shoko cut your other palm with the imbued stone.

“It doesn’t matter,” you brush Satoru off and lift your hands to show off your palms to the three spectators. “Now watch!”

Suguru leans to the side to take a better look at your palms, while you focus on your brain and multiply the negative cursed energy to create positive cursed energy. Once again that weird sensation hits you, but that quickly gets drowned out by your excitement as your wounds begin to heal.

“You seeing it?!” You ask your brother with a grin.

Satoru nods softly. “Yeah I’m watching. Good job, sis,” he says genuinely.

You can’t contain your excitement and let it out by embracing Suguru’s arm.

“I’m glad you finally got around to finish learning that,” Suguru says as he tilts his head down to rest his chin on your head. He would’ve kissed your head, he likes doing that all the time, it’s his favorite thing to do when you aren’t kissing each others lips, but of course he doesn’t now because he says he doesn’t want to make Satoru uncomfortable by actually kissing you, even if it is just your head. So instead he likes to remedy that by small acts when you’re around your brother; like wrapping his arm around your shoulders, hooking his pinky with yours, sitting behind you and wrapping his legs around you, or like now, holding your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’ve pushed it off for far too long,” you say and hold onto him tighter.

“Now she’s better at something else than you,” Shoko directs at Satoru.

It’s not like you tried to do it for that reason, actually you learned RCT to try and impress your parents when you were young. Let’s just say they didn’t really care though.

“What’s the other thing may I ask?” Your brother asks as he you see him look at your friend with an unamused look.

Shoko smirks. “Looks,” she doesn’t hold back from saying.

You beam at her and hear Suguru laugh, whilst Suguru rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disagreement.

“Now let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves,” he says, making you groan. “Let’s instead focus on the reason why we stopped here.”

You raise a questioning brow and press him. “What do you mean?”

Satoru shoots you a smirk. “Suguru and I are going on a three-day mission starting today. We should be on our way, but,” he pauses and groans. “Suguru wanted to stop by to talk to y/n.”

Your eyes widen slightly before you let Suguru’s arm go to step back and look between him and your brother with curiosity. “Mission?” You probe. “Since when?”

Suguru passes Satoru an annoyed look before he meets your gaze and answers. “Since today, that’s why Yaga interrupted us. We’re being sent to protect Tengen’s Star Plasma vessel from two groups that are trying to stop her from joining Tengen and merging.”

Her?

“One is the Curse User Group Q,” Satoru continues for Suguru. “Which is looking to upend Jujutsu society with Tengens rampage.”

“Okay,” Shoko says in comprehension, whilst your mind dwindles between the information and the fact that it’s a girl they’re protecting.

You shouldn’t be jealous, it’s a job, and from what you’ve learned on Tengen, he needs a vessel to stop himself from evolving to some higher being. So the girl is going to die and what is it…become one with Tengen? Or become him? It? They? Well whatever, the girl is going to die—but you are still feeling inklings of jealousy.

“And the other group,” Satoru continues. “Is the Star Religious group, also known as the Time Vessel Association, which worships Tengen as a god or something.”

Why do they want to stop Tengen from assimilating then if he’s their god?

Yet before you can ask that something else spills out of your mouth. “How old is this girl?”

Shoko chuckles, and Satoru scoffs before Suguru answers, “middle school age.”

Oh, what a relief.

“So you’ll be away from school why? Isn’t it safer bringing her here?” You ask. “Have her spend the rest of her time here where it’s protected?”

Satoru shrugs. “You’d think, but we’re supposed to stay away until the last day. I’ll see if I can change that though,” he comments with obvious annoyance. “I’m not entertaining no brat.”

Suguru sighs in disagreement but doesn’t comment, instead he grabs your arm and begins to pull you to him. “Satoru why don’t you meet me down the hill? We need to go now, we’ve wasted enough time as it is. I just want to talk to y/n first.”

Your brother narrows his gaze and slouches with the intention not to move.

“Satoru,” you call out so he can listen.

Shoko gets the memo and when she gets up she grabs Satoru’s arm to drag him with her. Luckily he doesn’t make this harder than it needs to be and follows her.

“Two minutes,” Satoru warns Suguru nevertheless. “Or I will come and drag you out.”

You roll your eyes, but Suguru just nods without bothering to counter back with something sassy or filled with annoyance. You then proceed to watch your brother walk away until he’s no longer visible.

“Three days?” You question as Suguru turns to face you now.

Suguru nods softly. “Yeah, but we might end up coming back here after we pick her up. I don’t know, I'll let you know.”

You scoff and shoot him a smile as you lean over and press your hands on the sides of his neck. “No, don’t distract yourself, you don’t have to text me. Focus on the mission and keeping yourself safe. Please.”

A small smile tugs on his lips and he carefully begins to caress your hand that you have on his neck. “I will, but I do have your brother so I’ll be okay.”

You nod in agreement. “Yeah I know. But still,” you say. “I don’t want to distract you. If you’re not here by tonight I’ll send you something. And if you miss me throughout the day, watch your homescreen or look through your camera roll full of pictures of me.” You laugh softly. “Or look at your messages…I might surprise you and send you a picture.”

Suguru grins and raises his hands to cup your cheeks and pull you in for a deep kiss. You cherish it and revel in it as if you won’t see each other again, as if you’re afraid to forget the taste of each other's lips. You proceed to tease him to keep him with you longer, but just as you swipe your tongue on his bottom lip he pulls back and presses a kiss on the top of your head instead.

“You know I can’t stay long,” he mutters against you. “Be wary of your phone, okay? You’re strong—”

You scoff in protest, but he pulls his head back to meet your gaze and reassure you. “You are, and we might need you, so just be wary. Regardless I’ll call you later.”

He didn’t listen to you whatsoever.

“Fine,” you say and don’t bother arguing. “Be careful…” you pause as you want to say those three meaningful words again, but you stop short before you can even utter them. You’re still too scared to do it.

You don’t want him to reject you, nor do you want to force him to repeat it if he doesn’t mean it yet.

“Look out for each other,” you add instead. “I do want to see you again, you know?”

Suguru laughs softly before pressing one last kiss on your lips. “I’ll be careful, Firefly.”

You groan in protest and push him back, causing him to snicker before he takes your hand and walks with you down the hill.

And just like he was told, Satoru is waiting for Suguru down the hill. Except he’s being annoying about it and tapping his foot on the floor while he has his arms crossed.

Since you’ve said your goodbyes with your boyfriend though you walk to your brother. “Be careful, Satoru, okay?”

“I don't need to be careful,” he responds all smugly, making you roll your eyes but continue to try and be sweet and caring.

“Just don’t die, look out for each other and…come back.”

Satoru tilts his head down to look at you with his eyes before he responds in the same smugness. “Don’t worry, sis.” He shoots you a half grin. “I’ll be fine.” He turns on his heels and grabs Suguru’s arm to pull him along, most likely because he thought Suguru would want to take one more minute with you.

You still follow them though, all the way to the exit. They both wave at you when they’re walking out, and you wave back with a small smile on your face. When they give you their backs as they keep retreating, you just stand there and watch their figures turn smaller until you can no longer see them.

You have nothing to worry about, you tell yourself so as to not worry about the two most important people in your life. Theye the strongest after all.

——

*LATER*

“What about after graduation?” You ask your group of friends. “Do you guys have any specific plans or are you planning on staying here?”

It had been only a couple hours since Satoru and Suguru left, and you’ve kept yourself busy at home since then since you didn’t get sent out on a mission after the one you went to in the morning; you’ve trained with your cursed technique, mediatated, and read. Now you’re helping Shoko just like promised, except Haibara and Nanami are with you too.

Well Nanami ended up helping Shoko, you are…supporting her from across the small table, and talking to her and your friends with your legs on Nanami’s lap, and your body leaned against Haibara as you give yourself a nice manicure.

“Well I already have a cozy job offer here,” Shoko shares nonchalantly. “So unless I get offered something better, then I’m staying here.”

You hum in comprehension and tilt your head back to peek at Haibara as he answers your question next. “Well I actually would like to be a teacher, so if they gave me a job here I would totally stay.” He says with enthusiasm before looking at you from the corner of his eyes. “What about you?”

You roll your head down and watch as you file the nail on your left pointer finger. “I’m leaving after school. I’ll accept jobs, but I won’t stay here.” You sigh. “I have goals I want to accomplish that don't involve staying here. Maybe I’ll be like Miss Yuki Tsukumo.” You smile proudly. “She’s so cool! I want to be like her when I grow up.”

Nanami scoffs before retorting. “She’s a slack off, she doesn’t pick up missions so that leaves us to do more work. She’s an adult but acts like a rebellious teen. You have the potential to be a lot better.”

You shrug him off and defend a woman you’ve never met before but have only heard about. “Well I think she’s cool. And the higher ups dislike her so she’s even cooler in my book.”

You move onto your last nail and only remember that you’re helping Shoko when he asks her a question from her notes.

“How many pairs of chromosomes does a human being typically have?”

You’ve always wondered why it is that Shoko wants to actually study to be an actual doctor when she has her special RCT ability that does all the work. And she put it simply, she wants the title and it’ll help her understand medical situations better. If it were you, you wouldn't do all that, but now that she’s doing it, good for her. You support her, and are proud of her.

“23 pairs,” she answers nonchalantly.

Nanami nods in agreement and pulls out the next notecard.

“So what about a family?” Shoko asks a different question to drift away from her study. “Would you guys want a family of your own? I don’t know if I would, I’ll go with the flow. All I do know is that I’m going to become a doctor.”

You smile at her with pride whilst you also give her your hand so she can help you paint your nails.

“Well,” you sigh and answer what comes to mind. “I don’t know, I’ve never given it any thought. It’d be nice I think, but…” you pause for a second and look up at the ceiling. “I really don’t know.”

The world isn’t perfect, it never will be, but you know all the ugly that it contains. It’s why you’ve never actually let yourself actually think too deeply about that. It’s why you’re okay if you don’t have a family of your own, plus you’re happy with the family you already have; your brother, Shoko, Nanami, Haibara and Suguru. As long as you have them in your life you’ll always be satisfied.

“Now you, Haibara,” you direct back at your friend. “What are your thoughts?”

“Hm, well,” he hums quietly before he shares what he knows. “I think it would be nice when I meet the right person.”

You smile softly and nod. “That’s good.” You look at the blond guy across you and give him the option to answer since he was mostly quiet while you all talked. “And you Nanamin?”

“No,” he answers bluntly. “I don’t think so, at least not while I continue doing this.”

“Fair.”

“Now, next question,” he drifts the attention away. “What part of the body produces insulin?”

Shoko props her elbows on the table and rests her chin on her hands as she thinks.

“Liver?” She answers hesitantly.

Nanami shakes his head and presses the notecard on the table so she can see the real answer; the pancreas.

“Oh,” she laughs it off. “I was going to answer with that. It’s a good thing I still have some time to go before I begin to study for my doctor's license.”

Nanami shakes his head in disapproval, and Haibara and you laugh. Shoko smirks before she lets your hand go so the paint can dry. You’re about to give her your other hand but then your phone rings, so you quickly slide your legs off Nanami’s lap and sit up. When you pick your phone you see that it’s Suguru calling you.

You told him not to, but you’re happy that he is, so you answer right away. “Hello!” You smile wider. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he relieves you of that worry. “I’m fine. We’re all fine. We just uh, fought some curse users here…”

That doesn’t sound fine.

Your smile falls and you press him with worry and annoyance that was he brushing off the real danger of it all just to assure you. “That doesn’t sound fine. Where are you guys?”

“We’re fine,” he repeats himself. “We are now, that's why I’m calling you.” He laughs softly, but you find no amusement or reassurance in that laugh.

“You also said you’d call if you were in danger—are you being held captive? Cough if you need help.”

“Is everything okay?” Haibara interjects as they all listen in.

“Y/N,” Suguru calls out firmly. “I’m okay, Satoru is okay. We are okay. I just…wanted to hear from you.”

Regardless of how annoyed you currently feel, your face burns and a smile twitches on your face. “Well in that case,” you play along. “I am glad you’re calling. I know it must be hard work, so thank you for taking time out of your day to call. But are you sure it’s okay? I’ve been holding back from texting you out of fear that I’ll distract you.”

Suguru shares a breathless laugh. “It’s fine, darling.”

He’s never called you that before. Your mother used to call you that, but she never actually meant it affectionately, and it was always while she was being manipulative about something.

But Suguru, his voice is soft when he says it, it’s not dry or emotionless. You like the way he says it.

“Well, okay then,” you whisper. “What do you want to hear? How proud I am of you? I’m not there but I know you’re doing a good job.” You smirk.

“Please,” Nanami cuts in. “Take that call somewhere else.”

You wave him off and once again swing your legs over to rest them on his lap.

“No,” Suguru mumbles. “You don’t need to do that, especially because I’m not done yet. Just tell me about your day, what are you doing now?”

“Now?” You repeat and look around at your group of friends. “I’m helping Shoko by being her laprat.”

Suguru scoffs. “Labrat? Again? Well please tell her to keep you whole, I do look forward to seeing you again.”

You grin and can’t help but giggle like a lovestruck dork.

“I will relay the message, but don’t worry I’m helping her study.”

“You are?” Nanami mutters.

You laugh. “I am!” You counter. “I'm her emotional and mental support. So is Haibara.”

“I like the sound of that,” said guy agrees.

You throw your hand out and give him a thumbs up before you focus back on Suguru.

“Are you coming back here?” You ask him full of hope.

Suguru sighs and stays quiet for a moment, making you begin to worry. Before you can ask he answers. “No, not yet. We’re actually on our way to Naha.”

“You’re going to Okinawa?” You cut in with disbelief, making your friends pay closer attention. “What for?”

There’s another second of silence before he answers. “Uh, the vessel, Riko Amanai, her caregiver got captured by the Time Vessel association, so we’re going to go rescue her.”

The mundane non-sorcerer cult took the caregiver?

Here you thought they’d be weak.

“So you lied?” You remark.

“No,” Suguru quickly rebuttals. “No, we’re fine, we’ll get her back with no trouble I’m sure of it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“How long do you think you’ll stay there then?” You ask quieter.

“We’re flying over tonight and getting the caregiver back in the morning, so just a day…that’s actually another reason why I’m calling you too.”

You sigh. “Here I thought you actually wanted to talk to me. Pft.”

“I did want to hear your voice, that's why I delayed on telling you this now,” he argues back. “Yaga is probably going to tell you soon, but we need you, Nanami and Haibara to fly in tomorrow morning. The guys will be guarding the airport and you’ll meet up with us.”

At least you’ll see him again, that’s the good thing. But he did avoid telling you about the trouble they’re facing though, so that’s irritating.

“We’ll be at an Island,” he continues to add. “So you’ll have an advantage with your cursed technique just in case something does happen while we’re here.”

You hum in agreement, and that’s when he notices that you aren’t excited as you should be.

“I didn’t hide the truth on purpose, you know?” He argues.

This time you listen to what Nanami complained about and sit up. “Just hold on,” you tell Suguru, and then get up and step out of the room to talk to him now that your conversation has drifted to something more private and serious.

“Okay, I’m back now, and I’ll just say,” you interject right away. “I could have handled it. You don’t need to protect me. One it’s not you or my brother in danger so it would be easier to understand. Two, if this is going to continue working we need to communicate. You can’t decide for me what you think is okay or not, I decide that. And I know I can be a little sensitive, but you can’t shield me from the ugly you know?”

A deep breath comes from the other end and silence follows. You can’t see his face but you wish you could so you can read his expression. You don’t regret what you just said, you don’t even feel bad, it’s your truth, and a truth he needs to know if you're going to continue dating. But you don’t like the silence. It makes you nervous.

It’s not until a few seconds later that Suguru interjects softly. “I understand, I’m sorry. I should have not avoided the subject from the beginning, you’re right you can handle it. I just did want to hear from you first, it’s been a…long day.”

You smile bashfully down at the floor beneath your feet. “I guess the news would’ve spoiled the mood,” you admit.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “But you are also right. I shouldn’t have shielded you from the truth. Not at a time like this.”

You nod. “Exactly.” You smile softly and just before either of you could say anything, the voice of your brother is heard in the background.

“Hey, you’re still talking to y/n?”

“Yes?” Suguru answers.

You narrow your gaze slightly in confusion, but you then understand why he bothered to ask.

“Okay, just pass her to me, I need to talk to her,” Satoru mutters quickly before you hear commotion and then his voice through the phone. “Sis before you leave, while you pack, go to my room and bring me some casual clothes. Something comfortable. Understand?”

You sigh and don’t even think of your answer. “All right. I understand.”

“Good! Thank you—oh and bring yourself something comfortable too! Beachwear. So bring me something for that too actually.”

You look down at the floor confused before you probe. “Why? What are you planning?”

You can practically hear your brother grin before he answers evasively. “Just do what I ask.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine,” you breathe out, but drop your annoyance quickly as you fill with worry again. “Are you okay, Satoru? Have you eaten? Slept?”

“Hey,” he blurts. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m strong, and I’m the oldest sibling here. Just worry about getting here, and…Suguru. I’m fine.”

Yeah you won’t do that but you don’t want to argue so you just mumble back. “I understand.”

Footsteps begin to echo nearby so you look off the ground and see Yaga approaching. Most likely with the news Suguru just shared with you.

“I have to go,” you let Satoru know. “But! You’re on your way to the airport right?”

“Uh-huh.”

You smile excitedly. “Okay, do me a huge favor, go to that shop we like to go to, the one next to—”

“Mochi?” He finishes saying for you. “I’m so ahead of you, sis. I got us some!”

You grin. “Yay. Okay, okay I really have to go now. Bye.”

“I’ll pass you back to Suguru.” Satoru says, and you hear rustling as he does just that.

Yet just before your boyfriend can actually give you a proper goodbye, Satoru hangs up for him. “Goodbye—“

He’s still hesitant about Suguru and you. It’s not as bad as before, but he still hasn’t fully come to terms with the fact.

Then again can you blame him? You’re his little sister, someone he’s protected and looked after all his life. And Suguru is his best friend. The only one you’ve ever seen him have, so you’re both important to him. He has every right to be protective over the both of you. However he does need to trust the both of you too.

“Gojo,” Yaga greets as he approaches the porch.

You put your phone away and offer him a tiny smile as you return his greeting. “Yaga.”

Said man sighs and points his chin to your phone. “Was that your brother?”

You nod. “It was, Suguru called me and Satoru butt in.”

Yaga hums before he continues. “Then I assume you know about what you’re going to do?” He says. “Geto said he’d call you to catch you up.”

You nod and turn around to open the door to the room you were just in. “Yeah, I know everything.”

“I normally wouldn't have chosen to send you or the others yet,” Yaga explains as he trails after you “But Geto and your brother asked for the three of you. So I’m going to trust you, all of you, to do your jobs and make it back.”

You look back and shoot him a prideful smirk. “Don’t worry,” you assure the man. “We can handle what may come our way. We’re strong together.”

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Ever since coming to school, getting out of your school uniform is growing to be pretty uncommon, sure you find the smallest excuses to wear all the clothes you have and buy, but it’s hardly enough.

Coming to actual fun places for missions is rare. Sure nothing about hiding out from bounty hunters is fun, but every mission you’ve gone to has dark corners, sketchy streets, dark to dim lighting, it’s all truly ugly.

It’s why you don’t even think twice about going all out right now at the beach! You wear a bathing suit under your bright colored tight corset and black mini skirt. You wear cute and expensive shades, you can even carry a cute bag that matches the color of your platform sandals. Plus it helps you not stand out, you blend right in with the rest of the beachgoers!

Albeit you do wonder why you’re at the beach exactly. The guys said to meet them at the beach right as you got off the plane instead of letting you help like you were sent here to do. Howbeit! You’re not complaining, you love the beach, you love the sun kissing your skin, the sound of the crashing waves, the salty air, the calmness of the environment—

Actually! There is one thing you are complaining about, they’re late. They were supposed to meet up with you thirty minutes ago. So it’s a good thing you’re at the beach and not anywhere haunted, you would’ve flipped if it was the latter.

And now you would message them, but you’d rather not bother and leave them worrying instead.

And it’s a good thing you do because they leave you waiting for another fifteen minutes before Satoru and Suguru get off a cab with a young black haired girl, and an older woman dressed like a maid.

“Sorry—”

“I could’ve been dead already,” you cut Suguru off and cross your arms over your chest as you glare at the both of them.

Satoru skips over to close the gap between him and you. “You’re too annoying to kill,” he blurts teasingly. “Did you bring my things?”

You sigh and drop your arms to your side to pick up a totebag off the ground and hand it to your brother. “Don’t mess it up, I have stuff in there too.”

Satoru flashes you a grin. “Thanks, and…” he trails off and gives you a gift bag from the sweet shop with the good mochi.

You can’t stay upset anymore so you smile at him before he walks off to change out of his uniform.

“You land all right?” You hear Suguru ask as you’re focused on taking out the mochi your brother gave you.

“Yeah,” you answer with your attention wavered. “You okay?” You finally look up at him as you pull out the package, and smile when you see that he’s not hurt. “You look good, are you?”

Suguru’s smile deepens as he nods. “Yeah. The work was simple. The interrogation did take longer than expected though. Sorry about that.”

You open the box and shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, I like being here,” you assure him. “Albeit why are we here? At the beach I mean? Won’t it be easier protecting…” you trail off and glance at the young girl past his shoulder, and catch her eyes already on you. “…the girl at school?”

Suguru sighs and nods. “It would, but Tengen ordered us to let her enjoy her time before the merge. So we’re here.”

You hum in comprehension and take a bite from your snack. “Well, I can’t say I'm complaining,” you say with your mouth full. “This is the best mission location I’ve been to so far.”

Suguru smiles softly before he checks that Satoru isn’t coming.

When the ghost is clear he leans over and presses a kiss on your cheek. “You look good by the way.”

You gulp and feel your heart flutter, and your smile turn bashful. “You should wait and see me in my bathing suit,” you manage to tease him.

Suguru swallows thickly. “I can’t wait,” he counters softly.

You laugh softly before you offer him your bitten mochi. “Want some? I can’t guarantee there will be some left when you come back from changing—You are changing out of your uniform right?”

Suguru laughs and nods. “Yes. I’ll do that now,” he says as he takes the bitten mochi from your hand and walks off, leaving you with the other two that you have yet to introduce yourself to.

“Forgive me,” you tell them after you wipe your mouth. “I got carried away,” you tell them as you step towards them. “I am Y/N Gojo.” You smile sweetly and bow your head. “First year at Jujutsu High.”

The young girl swallows thickly before she bows her head. “I’m…Riko Amanai,” she introduces herself. “Nice to meet you.” She then looks at your shades and continues. “I really like your clothes. You’re dressed really nice.”

Your smile grows to a grin and feel your heart skip a beat. That’s the best commitment you could ever recieve. It means you did well on picking your outfit. You love it.

“Thank you, Amanai. Really.” You then proceed to look at the woman beside her. “Hello, you must be her caregiver?”

The lady nods and offers you a tiny smile. “Yes, I’m Misato Kuroi.”

“Are you okay? I heard what happened,” you interject with concern.

Miss Kuroi nods quickly. “Yes, I’m fine. I didn’t get hurt, and Geto and Gojo saved me in time as well.”

You offer her a kind smile and nod. “That’s very good.”

“Thank you,” she cuts in and grabs Amanai’s shoulder. “You had to fly all the way here for us even if it isn’t your mission.”

You shake your head. “Well,” you sigh. “It kind of is now that I am involved, but don’t worry. We’re sorcerers, we have to look out for one another. We’re few as it is.” You smile and catch your brother coming out so you focus on him while the girls go and change now too.

“Do you have more?” He asks as rushes over to you with the tote bag in hand.

You nod and extend the box to him after you take another one. Once your brother reaches you he takes a mochi, and you take a bite of yours before you ask what’s been on your mind. “So what’s the plan for today?”

Satoru takes big bite and then holds the snack in between his teeth to dig in his back pocket, and pull out a folded paper he gives to you.

You take another bite and then finish it before you open the paper to read the schedule for today and tomorrow.

‘Day 2…13:00 meet with Gojo 2 at the beach and then swim…”

You groan and blink to look at your brother with annoyance. “Gojo 2?” You quote back at him.

Satoru snickers. “Yeah it’d be confusing otherwise.”

You roll your eyes and look back at the sheet.

‘15:00...Day 3, 11:00 Amanai’s Bounty Taken Down. Assimilate with Tengen after sunset!’

“Well,” you comment and fold the paper back. “That’s quite a day. It’s too bad we’re leaving here so soon. We should come back,” you suggest and give him back the schedule. “With all the others too. It'd be so fun.”

Satoru nods as he takes one more mochi from your box. “Yeah, that would be fun. Perhaps in the summer.”

You smile giddly and nod in agreement. Silence then follows and you take the time to study him for any visible wounds. He can’t do RCT yet, nor is Shoko here so if he got hurt it’d be visible since he has a lot of body exposed.

Yet it doesn’t look like he did. Good.

“When we go back home,” Satoru adds quieter and in a more serious tone. “You’ll go back to school to grab what you need, and then go on a mission with the other first years.”

You blink in surprise and pull your shades up before you shake your head. “No, but I should stay in school,” you argue. “The bounty won’t be down until tomorrow morning. What if something happens? We could help, I could.”

Satoru shakes his head and finally meets your eyes and narrows his gaze. “I said you’re going,” he deadpans. “Listen for once in your life.”

You part your lips to argue, but nothing comes out. You can’t form a word sentence to argue back with. There’s no point either, there’s no winning him, when he’s dead set on something and serious like he is now, there’s no changing his mind. There’s no point in having Suguru talk with him either, he probably already knows about the plan and agrees to it. Plus…you don’t want to argue now. The sun is bright, the sky is so beautifully blue, the waves look calm, and the air is soft.

Instead when you catch Suguru walking away from the changing station you shoot him a bright smile, and feel butterflies flutter in your stomach as you see that he’s not wearing anything under his blue short-sleeve button up. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but his body, his tight muscles hiding under his shirts never fail to amaze you.

Oh! And when he has his hair down and he doesn’t have a shirt on! Now that is truly the best sight to see.

If only you could kiss him. But Satoru is here. Tsk.

The best thing you can do is run over to meet him halfway with a soft awe-struck grin. “You look great,” you compliment him without shame, not notcing he keeps a hand hidden behind his back.

Suguru smiles. “You too.” He redirects.

“You surely took forever,” you point out. “I get the girls, but you?”

Suguru drops his gaze and smiles wider before he pulls his hand out from behind him and shows off a red hibiscus flower.

“Wow,” you mouth joyfully. “Cute,” you mumble.

Suguru lifts his hand to tuck the flower over your ear. “I saw a bush of them when I went to change so I thought I’d steal one for you,” he says.

You sigh softly and whisper your gratitude without letting go of each other's gaze, you’re all each other saw. It’s why you miss the way your brother is watching your interaction. He’d usually feel weird about seeing you and Suguru gushing over each other, but right now he saw your smile and he saw Suguru’s, he notices the way you two look at each other like nothing exists around you and all he can think about is how nice it is that you can make each other happy. Yet he still doesn’t understand how you two came to be, he doesn’t understand why either. No matter how many explanations you give him he won’t understand why Suguru and you love each other.

He probably will one day, or he probably won’t. Who knows, all he knows is this for now; his mission, and this moment in time.

It’s why when Amanai and Kuroi come out of the changing room he turns off his infinity for a moment to let you jump on his back. He then runs alongside Amanai, and with you on his back towards the water. He wants to throw you in the water for the fun of it, but he doesn’t want to make you mad so he lets your feet hit the ground.

However, it’s once you take off your clothes and remain in your bikini that Satoru grabs you and throws you in the water. You resurface with a sneer, and use your technique to manipulate the water surrounding you, and splash him, but he has his infinity on now so the water doesn’t hit him whatsoever.

“Ass,” you spat and pick up your flower off the water to tuck back over your ear.

“Hey! That’s so cool!” Amanai exclaims. “What’s your cursed technique?!”

You look to her and lose your annoyance before responding. “I have an Elemental Manipulation Cursed Technique. I can bend the elementals to my will, and fire is the only one I can manipulate and make.”

Amanai’s eyes widen slightly with awe. “That’s so cool!”

You shoot her a smirk. “Thanks,” you utter before you turn to walk over to Suguru sitting on a blanket in the distance with Kuroi.

However, before you do walk away, you stop and just peer back. Amanai is distracted picking up some shell from the sand, Suguru did say that Tengen wants her to at least enjoy what she has left of life, so you’ll show her just that, a good time.

Thus before she can look you use your technique and push the water in front of Amanai forward, creating an empty space. Amanai sees the water moving and looks up. When she notices the empty space her lips twitch to a smile, she then lifts her gaze further up and sees the water standing up around it and her smile widens.

She wants to look back at you since she knows you’re the one doing it, but the way you begin to make a path in front of her steals her attention. She is hesitant to follow the path, but you turn around to fall beside her.

“It’s okay,” you assure her. “Nothings going to happen.”

Amanai peers back at you and keeps her eyes on you for a moment as she debates between trusting you or not. But she then catches sight of a school of little orange fish swimming around the path you created and doesn’t hesitate to slowly follow them. You slowly trail after her and stop until the water walls tower over the both of you.

Unlike before, now you can see everything that lives inside the water, the different colored coral, the rocks; tall and small. You can see the little creatures burrowing themselves inside the sand. You see different fishes swimming in the distance, you see it all through the clear water. Albeit nothing is better than seeing Amanai smile with awe.

You don’t know the girl, she’s just a mission that your brother and Suguru need to accomplish for the sake of your world, but if you think deeply about it, this girl is going to lose her life to become one with this being that stays trapped in some void forever. And that makes you feel bad for her, it makes you sad that she’ll basically lose her life before she can even live it, before she can even decide if merging is what she actually wants.

It’s why while you’re here, you want to make it your mission to show her some ounce of happiness.

“Tell me Amanai,” you interject softly as you watch a cute silver fish swimming past you. “What’s your favorite animal?”

Amanai’s eyes snap to you and she parts her lips to answer, but she then closes her mouth and looks at the water again.

She remains quiet for a moment before she gives you her answer. “A whale shark.”

You hum in comprehension and draw in a deep breath of the salty air, you tap further into your cursed energy and let your mind overcome with the weight and strength of the water. You feel its gentleness, and its power running through your limbs as you control it.

You proceed to exhale and slowly begin to lift your hands as you raise the water that surrounds you. You proceed to gently slide your leg back like if you’re about to start a dance, and sway your arms to the side as you move the water over your heads. You then twist your wrists as you make the water circle around you.

Amanai spins around to watch as you move the water to completely surround you both, leaving you trapped in a bubble. “This is beautiful,” she whispers.

You smile softly, and then use the water past your walls to create a whale shark. Amanai runs to the edge to watch as you make the water create the big creature. Once it’s complete you don’t pull back from having it swim ever so gently like a real whale does. And it may not be real, but it looks like it; down to the white belly and up to the spots. It’s also very heavy to keep formed while lifting and pushing the water.

But you keep it up and let Amanai reach in the water to touch it. When she touches the water-made creature with her fingertips she laughs quietly, making you smile. After she pulls her hand out of the water you begin to let the water over you fall back to the sides. The water that you had blocking your back falls and you move it to the side to recreate the path back to shore.

Amanai watches the water-made whale shark for a few more minutes before you have it disappear. After that she follows you back to shore whilst she watches as you let the water fall back to place, like small waterfalls joining its body of water below. When you do reach shore and before you can walk away she interjects in a soft voice.

“Thank you for that….I really enjoyed it. It was very beautiful.”

You peer back and flash her a smile. “You welcome.” You hold her gaze for a second longer until it hits you.

How can this happen? Her life after merging will cease to exist, she hasn’t even lived it, she doesn’t even have a choice between doing it or not. Even if she wants to do it, she only says that because it was drilled in her; that desire and responsibility, but is it really her choice?

No.

But…It’s for the greater good of the Jujutsu world. Of your world, and everyone else’s. So she has to do it. She does…

This world is so fucked.

You continue to walk towards Suguru, and as you pass your brother he pats your shoulder. “That was cool,” he says.

You smirk and nod. “I know.”

Now when you’re closer to your boyfriend you run over and lay back on the space between his legs.

“We’re supposed to be discreet,” he reminds you.

You shrug him off. “It was cool.”

“I know, but we can’t be showing off,” he remarks.

You pull your shades down and close your eyes before you answer honestly. “She needs to enjoy what remains of her life. I was just showing her a good time.”

He sighs in defeat. He knows you’re right so let’s it be, instead he tilts his head down to look at you as you bask in the stillness of the moment, as you let the sun kiss your skin. He watches your chest move up and down, and the way you rest your hands on your chest. He finds himself smiling at you and the little things you do.

“May I ask?” Kuroi interjects, catching Suguru and you off guard. “Miss Gojo. How did you get that scar across your torso?”

You nervously swallow thickly, but keep your eyes closed. Instinctively you move one of your hands to trace the long scarred gash across your torso with your fingers.

It’s not hard anymore to recall that specific moment that took place so long ago in your life, but it still is hard to put into words. It’s why only one person besides Satoru knows what happened, and that’s Suguru.

“It happened when I was young,” you answer stiffly and clench your other fist over your chest. Suguru notices the way your breath changes to deep and hard breaths, he sees the way you stiffen, the way your lips are twitching to form a frown, so he does what he can right now and reaches down to cup your hand.

At the feeling of his soft and warm touch you open your eyes and tilt your head back. You catch his gaze and he offers you an assuring smile.

It doesn’t take away the bad that comes with the memory, but it helps ease you, it helps your breath, your racing heart, and brings light to the shadows that already threatened to take over at the mere thought of that day.

“It was a…mistake,” you share. “No amount of RCT has been able to heal it…” you trail off and simply leave it at that. Even if that’s not a clear answer, just a lead to more questions. Questions Kuroi luckily doesn’t ask.

“Hey,” Suguru interjects quieter. “Did you put on sunscreen?”

You look up at him and think for a moment before you remember you didn’t because Satoru threw you in the water. “No…could you help put some on?”

Suguru smiles as he pulls out your sunscreen from your bag. “Way ahead of you.”

You grin and sit up to let him put some on his fingers before he passes it to you, so you can put some on your fingertips and apply some on your arms while he gets your back.

“I have a question,” you finally remember to ask. “If the Star Religious group worships Tengen why do they want Amanai dead? Wouldn’t they want her to assimilate?”

Suguru sighs softly before he responds. “Well their object of worship is the pure form of Tengen. So allowing the Star Plasma vessel to assimilate is unforgivable because in their mind they think the vessel is impure.”

You scoff. “Ah,” you mumble. “I get it now.” You huff. “Non-sorcerers are so weird.”

“They just have different beliefs,” Suguru tries to correct you.

You huff, “yeah I suppose.” You proceed to grab more sunscreen to move onto your other arm. “Anway, I kind of feel bad. Haibara and Nanami are at the airport while I’m here at the beach, getting a tan.” You smile softly. “I’ll buy them souvenirs. As well as Shoko.”

“That’d be nice,” Suguru agrees as he slides his hands to your shoulders to rub in sunscreen.

Your breath shudders at the feeling, and your heart skips a beat, whislt your lips form to a mischievous smile. If only you were here alone, you’d totally be all over him. For now you’ll just have to imagine kissing him and taking off his shirt he didn’t bother to button.

“What?” Suguru interjects as if he knows you’re lost in thought about him.

You shrug. “Nothing,” you say in a sweet tone. “Just you.”

“What about me?”

You put more sunscreen on your hands and lean forward to begin rubbing some on your legs, causing him to slide his hands down to your lower back.

“You just look good in your beach outfit,” you let him know.

Suguru scoffs softly and stays quiet, letting you know you just made him all flustered. Which is easy to do.

“Anway,” you continue. “Have you guys eaten?”

“Not yet,” Suguru says, making you sigh with discontent.

“What about slept?” You ask. “Has Satoru slept? Have you?”

“I slept a bit on the plane, and at night,” he says. “But I don’t think Satoru has.”

You lift your eyes to watch your brother goof off with Amanai, and sigh. There’s no way to tell if he has eyebags with those dark shades on his face, but knowing him he hasn’t slept. And he won’t until his mission is over.

That’s why it would be better if you could help after you leave here, you could keep watch while he sleeps for at least a couple hours. But no, he’s protecting you and keeping you far away from the school.

You appreciate it, but he needs to understand you aren’t a little girl anymore. He doesn’t have to protect you all the time.

“Well,” you interject sternly and move onto your other leg. “We’ll go eat after this. You can’t be strong if you don’t eat.”

Suguru laughs softly, causing you to straighten up and look at him over your shoulder. “What?” You snap.

Suguru smiles at you and shakes his head. “Just you,” he mocks you playfully.

You roll your eyes and finish applying sunscreen on your leg to then rub some on the rest of your body that’s exposed to the sun. After that’s done Suguru pulls his phone out and takes a picture of the both of you; one with his chin on your shoulder and a smile on his face, and you happily grinning at the camera.

When that’s done you lay on your stomach, and just rest your eyes some more. There is a gnawing worry in the back of your head, but Suguru and your brother are here so you don’t let the worry consume you.

“I really can’t believe I got captured by the Star Religious Group,” Kuroi interjects, piquing your attention, but not enough to make you open your eyes. “And by a non-sorcerer at that. I’m ashamed of myself.”

“You couldn’t help it if they caught you off-guard,” Suguru quickly tries to assure the lady. “Part of the blames lies with me, too.”

“Was I really caught off guard?” Kuroi questions quietly. “I thought I was on high alert after the incident with Q. I still don’t have much recollection of being attacked…And you came here by plane?” She then asks. “Were you okay? You weren’t attacked?”

“Satoru has good eyes,” Suguru says. “Before we took off, he checked over all the passengers and staff, as well as the inside and outside of the plane. And while we were in the air, I had my cursed spirit keep watch outside. It was safer than using a land route.” He then proceeds to take a paper out he had in his pocket, and comments on it.

“I’m more curious as to why they designated Okinawa for the exchange,” Suguru shares his curiosity.

You thought of that too, but haven’t come up with any convincing explanation.

“Probably to buy time, right?” Kuroi shares. “Even if they fail to kill Riko, they could keep her from making tomorrow's full moon deadline.”

“If that were the goal,” you interject with your thought. “They would have chosen a rural area with poor transit infrastructure. Instead we’re here, on an island that’s often busy.”

“You two don’t think they’re planning to take over the airport, do you?” Kuroi worries.

“Maybe so,” Suguru doesn’t lie. “But we’ll be fine,” he assures her and puts the paper down. “We’re not the only ones who came here.”

Yes, you and your other two first year companions came too! Haibara and you were excited, but Nanami, well he’s reluctant. And he has every right to be, they usually don’t assign you first years to missions like these—but it’s just like you told him, there’s no need to worry with Suguru and Satoru here with you too.

“Should we really be sightseeing like this?” Kuroi adds.

“Satoru’s the one who suggested it,” Suguru says. “He’s probably showing consideration for Riko, in his own way. Though it is getting close…” he trials off and you then hear him stand up. “Satoru! It’s time.”

Tsk.

“Oh, it's that time already?” You hear Satoru query.

You sigh with discontent and push yourself to your knees before you stand up too.

“Suguru, let’s head back tomorrow morning instead,” Satoru suggests, making you spin around to face all of them with a hidden smile.

You can’t get excited yet, not until Suguru agrees. So while he walks to your brother you follow him. However when they do reach each other you stand a bit behind to listen in.

“But,” Suguru tries to argue, but Satoru cuts in with an argument.

“The weathers holding steady, yeah? Besides, there are fewer curse users in Okinawa than there are in Tokyo.”

That’s true, but does it really matter at the end of the day? They can still come here too, it would be safer back home. Even if you do enjoy being here.

“Let’s keep it a little more serious, Satoru,” Suguru rebuttals.

“It’s better if the time limit on the bounty runs out while we’re mid-flight right?” Satoru asks, making Suguru walk closer to your brother to talk quieter so the others won’t worry, or just listen in. Luckily you can still hear from where you stand.

“Satoru,” Suguru says. “You haven't released your technique since yesterday, have you? You haven’t slept either. And you don’t plan to sleep tonight, do you?”

You look at your brother with worry and step closer.

“Are you sure we don’t need to go back to Jujutsu High?” Suguru presses.

Satoru raises his head and meets your gaze behind his shades. You can feel his stare on you for a moment before he raises his fist and gently taps Suguru’s chest.

“It’s not a problem,” Satoru assures him as he begins to walk away. “Playing through 99 years of MomoTetsu was far more draining. Besides…you’re here too.”

You smile softly at his compliment to Suguru, and let him throw his arm around you as he reaches you.

“Why don’t we get some snacks, yeah?” Satoru suggests as he turns you around to walk with you.

“We could eat,” you correct him sternly. “Proper food.”

Satoru huffs out. “I ate food on the plane, and then when we were going to the exchange location.”

You scoff and counter. “Yeah, that was hours ago. You need to eat.”

“You’re beginning to sound like Belinda.” He teases you and lets you go as you reach where your blanket is splayed on the ground.

“Yeah and I have every right to,” you argue to the stubborn man. “There’s still a day left, Satoru.”

Satoru stops walking and keeps his back turned to you. “I’ll be alright, sis. Don’t you worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

You watch him with worry, you want to keep arguing for his own sake, but just as you open your mouth, you choose to trust him and let it go.

“Could you text one of the guys though? Let them know of the change in plans,” he says as he continues to walk off towards a man in the distance hauling a white cart.

You sigh in defeat and nod. He doesn’t see it, but you do before you take your phone from your bag and text Haibara. You would text Nanami, but he didn’t want to come as it is, so his reaction scares you.

You: Plans changed. We’re extending our stay to another day.

Suguru reaches you and puts his hand on your lower back and slides it up slowly to hook his arm over your shoulders.

“Worried?” You ask him.

“About Satoru? No, but, if we’re staying here we can’t let our guard down.”

You hum softly. “Well at night, we can patrol wherever we stay at,” you suggest. “If someone were to attack it’d be then, when our guard is supposed to be down more.”

“Yeah,” Suguru agrees and nods. “That’s true. We can patrol while Satoru stays with Amanai.”

Your lips tug to a teasing smile, yet before you can answer you can text message from Haibara.

Haibara: Understood! Thanks for letting us know. Is everything all right?

You: Yes, Satoru just changed his mind so don’t worry. Is everything okay over there?

You close your phone and finally tease Suguru. “I think you just want to get me alone, Sugar.” You snicker.

Suguru laughs. “It was your plan.”

You smirk and turn your head to look at him. “Yeah, it was so I wont deny my intentions. But,” you feign a pout. “We are meant to be on patrol, so.”

“I know that. Why? What did you have in mind?” He teases you back.

You shrug innocently and leave him wondering as you open your phone to read your new message.

Haibara: Clear waters over here, haha…

You snort at the message

Haibara: Nanami is just annoyed.

You: Love that haha, tell him not to lose his head, we’ll leave early in the morning and then head to a mission after!

“I have ice cream!” Satoru cuts in loudly and excitedly.

You turn back and see his grin as he runs over. You beam and leave your spot to meet him halfway along with Amanai, who’s just as happy.

“Sis, here’s your strawberry,” he says and hands you a cone with strawberry ice cream. “Amanai, you and Kuroi have vanilla. Suguru, you’ll get chocolate, and I’ll keep the last vanilla.”

“Thank you,” Amanai says before she takes her cones and walks back to her caretaker.

“So,” you blurt excitedly and step back to face both guys. “I was thinking—”

“Were you?” Satoru cuts you off with a playful smirk. “You don’t look like much of a thinker.”

Your face falls and a glower replaces the joy.

“Satoru,” Suguru warns him quietly.

Without asking you hand Suguru your phone and ice cream cone. Satoru does the same and begins to step back as he begins to snicker.

“Take it back,” you sneer at him and step forward. You then swing at him but he slides back, triggering you and causing you to lunge at him.

Satoru swerves you though, and begins to run away, making you run after him back towards the water, not catching Amanai’s concern.

“Are they okay?”

Suguru sighs and begins to slowly follow after the both of you. “Yes, it’s normal for them.”

When you make it into the water you manage to push your brother back, making him chuckle as he tries to capture your wrists.

You step back and since he seems to have his infinity off for this moment, you use your technique to grow a tall wave behind him. You then pretend to try and punch him so he gets distracted. And when he swerves you, you hurl the wave at his back, causing him to fall in the water face down.

You laugh at him evilly, and hear Amanai laugh along too from shore. Albeit just then unexpectedly hands wrap around your ankles and you get yanked down in the water, making you yelp out.

Satoru resurfaces and redirects his laugh back at you when you go quiet and look at him annoyed. However, that look only lasts for a few seconds because you can’t hold back and begin to laugh too.

The rest of the day is spent just like that moment, lighthearted and fun. Even if there was this shadow casted over everyone that didn’t bring anyone down, especially not Riko.

You went Kayaking to a river nearby, per your suggestion, since it is something you’d do with Satoru and your own caretaker when you were children. And Riko loved it, she especially loved watching the flying fish that you made out of water using your technique, and made to follow your boats. After that Kurio suggested an arcade and Amanai and you beat Satoru and Suguru multiple times. You followed by going on a walk where Amanai enjoyed the soft salty air, the colorful flower gardens, and that sense of freedom without having to worry about her responsibility.

You’ve known her for such a small amount of time but you were happy for her, you were happy to see her smile and not worry at that moment.

Now it might not be your day, you were here with everyone for a mission after all, but you can’t hide what you feel. You can’t push back your joy that you found in that moment too; with your brother, with your boyfriend, with the strangers that quickly became friends. Where you are.

“So,” you interject as you push your plate away and pull out the schedule. “We have room for something else before it’s someone’s bedtime…” you trail off and look at Riko across the table to point your eyes at her. She notices your implication and her jaw drops.

“I don’t have a bedtime,” she retorts, making Satoru and you snicker.

“Anyway,” you brush her off and let the paper go to rub the back of your neck as you feel this odd sensation you can’t put into words. All you know is that you feel it and it doesn’t last. It goes away just as fast as it came.

Thus you don’t pay mind to the feeling, instead you proceed to lean towards Suguru and lazily lay your head on his shoulder. “You should pick where you want to go next.” You lift your hand and gently begin to caress the back of Suguru’s neck.

“Well,” Riko mumbles before she averts her gaze and thinks hard.

After all your day activities, finally you were able to come and sit down to eat. It was such a relief after all the walking and sightseeing you did. Plus, seeing Satoru eat makes you feel reassured too, he’s been working hard and keeping up his cursed technique which takes a lot more from him than Suguru’s does.

“Can we go to the Aquarium?” Riko finally suggests, making your smile falter.

Yes Aquariums are impressive things, but Aquariums are something you hate. Its just, seeing all those innocent creatures stuck inside four walls for the rest of their lives is inhumane. Sure, when you pass by a small tank with fish you stop to admire them, but Aquariums? You hate them.

Yet you don’t say anything outloud or protest, you simply smile and nod to assure her. “Of course. That sounds like fun.” You pull your head off Suguru’s shoulder, and feel it again, that weird feeling on the back of your neck. This time though you don’t shrug it off, you feel the need to peer back, and that’s when you see a middle aged man at the other side of the patio sitting alone and with a newspaper in hand.

You manage to catch his green eyes already on you, but as soon as you do look at him he looks down at his newspaper.

Weird. Could he be after Riko?

Doubtful, he would’ve done something by now. He’s sitting calmly, and he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at you. Plus as you focus on him you can tell that his cursed energy is low, he’s probably a mere non-sorcerer, so he shouldn’t be a problem, he’s probably just a curious man.

However, you get a…icky feeling in your gut at the mere sight of him. And it is the non-sorcerer cult that are after Riko, so maybe you should tell Satoru, have him use his six eyes to examine him from where you are.

Thus you look ahead again and lean over towards your brother, but when you do, from the corner of your eyes you catch that same mystery man getting off his chair and walking away. You try to watch him leave the restaurant, but a server walking out of the kitchen gets in your way.

Hm, perhaps it’s just your paranoia. You’re just finding enemies in strangers out of worry. So you let it go and instead watch the server walk to your table with a plate of larb. When he reaches your table he directs his smile at Satoru.

“Larb, on the house,” he shares and sets the plate down before he walks away with no other kind of information.

“Free food, how come?” Riko asks with disbelief.

You peer back and catch the young lady that had been your actual server, giggling with the cashier, letting you know what this was about.

“I think,” you interject teasingly as you look ahead and reach for the plate. “Those girls back there Larb you, Satoru.” You snicker and watch him with a grin.

Kurio giggles at your joke, but she's the only one. Riko looks at you annoyed, and Satoru looks back at the girls first before he looks at you with a disapproving frown that only makes you burst out laughing.

You feel Suguru’s stare so you face him and laugh harder. You’d explain the joke, but it wouldn't be funny that way so you leave it be and pick up your silverware to take in a small amount.

“You’re a dork,” Suguru tells you.

You shoot him a sweet smile as you chew your food. He shakes his head and playfully turns your head away with his hand. You snicker and when you swallow you grab more food and push the silverware towards him. “Want some?” You ask. “It’s very good.”

Suguru doesn’t say anything, he just leans forward and takes a bite. You giggle with glee and miss Satoru’s disgust upon seeing your interaction.

“What’s wrong with your face?” You hear Riko ask, making you look over with curiosity and put the silverware down.

“Nothing,” Satoru deadpans. “I’m. Fine.”

You look at your brother and notice his glare behind his shades, letting you know exactly what was wrong with him. He’s annoyed by your affection with Suguru. Like always.

You don’t let that bother you though. Instead, you scoop up more food and make sure he’s watching as you feed Suguru more.

Before you could even think of grabbing more Satoru takes the plate from in front of you and begins to eat it himself, making Suguru and you laugh softly to yourselves.

Sure Suguru and you have your boundaries when you’re with your brother, but there’s times where it’s fun to mess with him, he’s so quick to annoy.

“Are you okay?” You tease Satoru as you slowly pull your phone out.

Satoru slowly turns his head and looks at you with a feigned nonchalant expression you see right through—“fine,” he deadpans.

You open your phone and quickly snap a picture of him and you with his face all scrunched in annoyance.

“Erase that!” He exclaims and tries to take your phone, but you lean away and quickly press send.

“Ah yeah no,” you laugh. “I'm saving it, plus I already sent it to Shoko.” You shut your phone and beam at him.

Satoru glares at you and grumbles back, “you annoy me.”

You laugh at him and happily leave it at that.

——

*LATER*

Since you don’t like aquariums, there’s nothing you can say about your trip there. Riko enjoyed it and that’s all that matters about that.

What happened outside of that though is not something you can comment on a lot either. Since the day had been filled with so much to do, after dinner everyone was calmer and more worn out. Conversations once filled with laughter grew quieter and shorter. That’s especially the case after you left the aquarium.

Everyone was tired, ready to have the day end, but only Riko and Kurio could rest in the hotel room you rented. Satoru, Suguru and you fought your sleep and exhaustion to keep working. You were more fortunate to have joined in late so your exhaustion wasn’t as heavy’s as your brothers or Suguru’s.

Which is why you argued with Satoru especially.

“Look, I can stay here and watch over her, you should rest at least for a few hours. She needs you to be strong.”

Satoru sighs and carefully tucks his hands in his pockets. “I'm feeling fine,” he dares to rebuttal with his eyebags under his eyes. “Go out, patrol with Suguru. I will stay here. You have any trouble or find anything suspious call me.”

You step towards him and narrow your gaze on him so he can know you’re not playing around. “Satoru, listen to me. You haven’t slept, just sleep for three hours at most. Please,” you beg softly.

Rather than taking your advice, your brother offers you a charming smile. It’s one you know well and see often when he’s trying to assure you. “What have I told you?” He says. “I’m the older brother, you don’t need to worry about me. I worry about you.”

“Then keep me here,” you snap back, hoping he’ll listen so you can help him here. Maybe force him to sleep.

However, Satoru grabs your shoulder and turns you towards the hall door. “I trust you,” he says and takes Suguru’s shoulder too when he reaches him by the door. “And I trust Suguru to keep you safe,” he adds and lets Suguru go to open the room door and push you both out. “Now go, do your jobs. I’m sure you’re both dying to have some alone time.”

You part your lips to argue but your brother just shuts the door on you instead.

“Fucker,” you grumble and just shift around to just give up and walk down the hall to go to the stairs. “I swear I’m just going to…” you trial off and sigh in defeat. “He never listens to me.”

“Yeah,” Suguru agrees softly. “He’s stubborn, but you don’t need to worry about him. He’ll be fine.”

You rub your eyes and groan.

“He’ll be fine,” Suguru insists. “He’s strong.”

You nod and drop your hand to your side. “Yeah,” you sigh. “He’s strong, I know. He’s powerful, I know that too. But that doesn’t mean I should stop worrying about him. Strip that all away and he’s still my brother...” You trial off and exhale deeply. “I just…I know he doesn’t need me looking out for him, but…” you pause and sniffle as tears form in your eyes. “…if something happens to him I don’t know what I would do.”

If he were to be gone from your life you know from the depths of your heart that it would be like everything good of this world would cease to exist at that exact moment. That’s why you worry.

“Nothing is going to happen to him, I won’t let it,” Suguru says in a soft tone he uses when it's just the two of you. When you’re wrapped in his arms after a long day for the both of you. It’s the most assuring thing in the world. Nothing else beats it, nothing else has the power to actually calm you down the way he does.

Whereas Satoru is the good of this world, Suguru is the world itself, without either of them there’d be nothing. An empty, meaningless and cold void.

“I’m sorry,” you cut in unexpectedly. “I must sound childish.”

Suguru stops walking just as you reach the top of the stairs, making you stop and face him with slight confusion.

“No,” he says. “It’s not childish at all. You’re just a sister worried about her brother. It’s normal, no matter how old you are.” He offers you a kind smile that eases your worried heart. “I even admire it. So no, it’s not childish.”

You sigh with relief and let him cup your cheeks to lean in and steal a gentle kiss from your lips. You deepen the sweet gesture, but don’t rush it, you’re slow and gentle. You let yourself taste the minty taste of his mouth, you drown in the smell of his soft smelling cologne that clung onto him.

You take in this moment, like all the other times you’ve kissed as if afraid one of them would be your last. You linger in the moment without pulling back to breathe. But you don’t last in it or develop it any further because you know where that would lead to, so you pull back and just stay close to the point his breaths unfurl over the tip of your nose.

“I've been waiting to do that all day,” he whispers against your lips.

You flash him a soft grin and press one last kiss on his lips before you meet his gaze with pity. “I hate to do this,” you whisper. “I really do, but we should get back to work.”

Suguru laughs softly. “What? Are you sure that’s my girlfriend there?”

You playfully roll your eyes and turn swiftly to walk down the flight of stairs. “Oh, I want to, I really do,” you say over your shouder. “But you’ve been on my mind all day, so I have to stop myself before it leads to something else.”

Suguru snickers as he tows after you down the stairs. Once you reach the first floor you walk out of the closest door to get outside and begin your patrol.

“Anyway,” you change the subject. “I actually do want to give you something.”

Suguru falls beside you and presses curiously. “Do you?”

You smile wider and then dig in your sweater pocket to take out a wooden beaded bracelet that all connects with a single red thread.

“This is for you,” you tell him and stop walking when you’re past the hotel building and under the glimmering stars that are somewhat visible here. You proceed to grab his hand and bring it towards you.

“You gave me my red string bracelet,” you say and show it off as it sits on your wrist. “So now I will give you your own.”

Suguru’s lips pull to a sweet smile, and he stays quiet as he watches you instead of watching you put the bracelet on his wrist.

It’s only once you've secured the bracelet on his wrist that you notice his dark eyes on you; soft and glimmering with awe. You don’t ask him what’s wrong, you know that look, you see it all the time when he’s with you. Sometimes you wonder why he even looks at you like that, you wonder what you did to deserve being looked at the way he looks at you.

Yet even through your wonder you know you never want that look to disappear from his pretty face. You want to feel safe, loved and appreciated all the time. You never want another pair of eyes to look at you the same way he does. You just want him until there’s nothing making your heart beat, until you’re breathing your last breath.

And he should know that. He should know what you feel, he should know you ache for him in the best way possible. He should know that your heart always skips a beat when you see him, that when he looks at you the way he’s doing now all you feel is joy, hope and desire. He should know now as you stand under the starry sky, as you smell the salty air of the ocean, as you hear the distant waves crashing on the shore, as you feel each other's warmth since you stand so close. You may be on an important life threatening mission, but you need him to know.

It’s just three words.

“Suguru…”

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Yall not ready for what’s to come 🥹

[caffeinewitchcraft]

How did you find the courage to start posting online?

Finding courage is actually why I started this blog!

I’ve always loved writing. The first book I wrote was in high school (and very rarely sees the light of day) back in 2010. I gave short stories to my family for Christmas in 2011 and I did write a little bit of fanfic back then.

But I never tried to query my work and I never posted anything online. I felt like my work wasn’t good enough for a multitude of reasons - too short, too long, choppy dialogue, not interesting, wrong punctuation, etc

Then I went to college and I studied English/psychology/writing for a little bit. One of my writing professors really pushed me to consider publishing (at that point I was on track to get a psychology degree) and I realized that that’s what I wanted. I wanted to be a published writer

But I was too scared!

I was frozen for years. I would write all these stories for fun and never had anywhere to put them. After I left the cult (lol) I ended up not having many friends to read my work either. I had my sister and my best friend from high school (both of whom I owe a lot) and they lived in a different city for most of that time.

College was a really bad time for me all around. I don’t talk about it that much because I very dearly want to be someone who can heal from trauma. But my writing at that time was viciously angry. I felt like I couldn’t share it because it would show everyone how awful I was. So I didn’t post online then either!

I left school and became an EMT with this idea that I was going to be a writer but I still couldn’t bring myself to query. “I need to experience more of life to write,” I thought. “I’m not good enough yet. The things I write are all too depressing or too escapist. One day I’ll write something amazing and I’ll know it and go from there.”

It was during that time (around 2016) that I honestly got sick of myself. I had a lot of insecurities and life was very difficult. It’s hard to explain exactly where my head was at. See, up until the creation of this blog, I was putting writing as a low priority in my life. I was going to keep driving an ambulance. I was going to go back to school. I was going to only engage In The practical side of writing (copy writing) and do other Meaningful Work like driving ambulances or maybe going to law school

But I wanted to write. And I knew I was scared. And I knew that part of what was holding me back were all these expectations from my family and from myself that I needed to focus on finding a career rather than in what made me so happy

So I made this blog! “No one I know will see this,” I thought. “I don’t have to tell them. I can write whatever I’d like without having to worry about hurting anyones feelings or making anyone upset.”

Well, I did make people upset! Hahahah, for some reason 22 yo me wrote a prompt fill of God trying to set up Satan with a guy. A looooot of people (like 6 which seemed like a lot at the time!) sent me messages about how awful I was for writing that and how I needed to take it down

Instead of taking it down or stopping writing, I looked at why I wrote what I did. I’m Pagan. Wby did I feel driven to write a story about God?

The prompt used language I disagreed with (I believe it called satan “a homosexual” like those old anti gay propaganda films) and I wanted to write something that was more positive and nuanced. The story accepted the idea that, at one point, being gay was a sin (I was just coming out at that point as well.) But I also wrote a God that was flawed, who recognized their flaws, and admitted that they made a mistake by trying to control love like that. God apologized to Satan for making him feel he was wrong and that he couldn’t love who he wanted. That story meant something to me who, despite being from an amazingly supportive family, still worried about people being jerks when I went out in public with my girlfriend.

And after looking at all that, I stood by my story. That’s important to why I keep posting online. I stand by what I write. Even if nobody enjoys a story, I like it. And so it stays up.

(Though I will admit that some aspects I’ve had to improve myself on. I had one person point out that I only used Anglo-Saxon names for all my characters. Meaning I only wrote white characters. So, after a lot of googling and reading, I set out to diversify my work! I wrote Firebreather after that, starring Nadezh and I am so obsessed with her.)

I kept the God prompt up and started receiving positive comments on it! I started writing more prompt fills. I’d write after hard 12 hour shifts. I’d write while in the ambulance. I wrote a very popular story from my phone!

I’m very, very lucky! I’ve always received very positive feedback on my stories here. There are people who won’t ever know it but they supported me through very difficult times.

Why have I written all of this? I definitely haven’t shared everything about my writing journey, or my life journey, but these are the highlights. Why share such a long answer to a very straightforward question?

Because I want you to have the context for when I say that the courage to post online comes from a deep and unending love for writing. For your own writing. For the magic that writing helps you create, for the excitement of finishing a story, for the thrill of understanding yourself a little better.

For me, the creation of this blog was an act of self love. I’ve said that on here before. I took an amazing gamble and I won! By posting online, I forced myself to confront my writing head on. People were seeing it and commenting on it, good and bad, and it forced me to interact with my work in a way I hadn’t before.

I started being able to look at my writing from a distance. There were some warts, for sure. But I looked at it and loved it all the same.

I stopped being so ashamed and fearful. My whole family knows about my writing now (that’s actually how I came out as bi to a few of them lmao) and I’ve self-published my own work.

I will say, that I’ve been very lucky on Tumblr. My experience doesn’t seem to be very typical and my blog is a bit more popular than I ever intended! I’m very grateful and blown away by it still.

Courage comes from confidence. Fake it til you make it! I used anonymity as a shield until I gained enough confidence to own my work proudly.

Thanks for the ask and thanks for bearing with my long response. I’ll most likely talk about how posting online affected my mental state and career more at a later date :)

Tl;dr: Love your writing unconditionally. Accept its flaws and know that you have the ability to improve it.

[rosalinrabbit]

Nectar of the Gods

Blue Banisters Track List

Pairing: Robb Stark x Fem! Mormont Reader

Warnings: Hurt, hurt no comfort, past relationships, family deaths, briefly mentioned violence, final goodbyes, pure angst, Robb being an idiot and putting the North in danger

Summary: After the death of your aunt and your father, you knew you had to return to Bear Island. You couldn’t take it anymore, watching Robb live a life you weren’t a part of any longer. When the King in the North himself finds you packing your bags, many things left unsaid finally come to light.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N:  This is the start of the Blue Banisters Track List!! (A new project which is likely going to be a bit inconsistent in terms of order and posting)

This fic is a mix of show and book canon if that makes sense? I was rewatching the show and every time we get to the whole Robb x Talisa plotline I lose my mind at how weird it is but I digress. 

You are in charge of your own media consumption. Please read responsibly.

Do not translate or re-upload any of my work. Works are only cross-posted on AO3.

< What sweet world is this? Honey on the vine..

School kid dreams came true, then passed in the night

I used to dream about people like you, now I don’t know why… >

-Lana Del Rey, Nectar of the Gods

You hurried to pack your things from the tent you had once shared with your aunt, the one you still shared with two of her daughters, your cousins, Dacey and Lyra. Maege’s oldest and third oldest. The rest, Alysane, Jorelle, and Lyanna, remained at Bear Island. 

The she-bear is no more. When her daughters decided to remain by the King’s side, you knew you could not. Then, the message came from up North. From the Wall.

To your luck, the raven’s message landed in the hands of Catelyn Stark, not her son’s. It was Catelyn who came up to you, pulling you into her tent to talk alone. Her eyes alone saw the tears when she told you.

Your father was dead. Killed by his own men in a mutiny beyond the wall.

You were taught better than to react in the way you did, in disbelief and agony. In shock. You had stared at the older woman for a few moments before you could even process her words, yet your eyes seemed to beat your mind to it, tears streaming down your face as you stared past Catelyn, towards the opening of the tent and out into the beyond. 

When the sobs broke through, you felt her hands on your arms, holding you up so you wouldn’t fall over, bringing you close and providing you with the comfort only a mother could, even though you would never get to call her by that name.

Even though she herself had expected you to one day.

You were thankful that Catelyn atleast understood your pain. While you hailed from Bear Island, while you held the name Mormont and were loyal as can be to House Stark, while you knew how to fight and lead like the rest of your family, the pain of it all weighed on you. As much as you tried to hide it, for the pride of your house, for your own dignity, it was far too much, and you and the Stark matriarch both knew the pain went beyond the death of your father.

It was everything inbetween. 

The two Stark girls whom you loved like sisters, in what felt like increasingly mortal danger because of Robb’s rebellion. 

The death of your aunt, who cared for you as though you were her own when your mother died, when your much older half-brother Jorah disgraced the house, and when your father left to take the black.

The fear for your house and your future, leaving your dear young cousin Lyanna at home and in charge of Bear Island with her mother’s most trusted advisors.

The fact that your father was killed by his own men, by the job he had commited his life to. 

The heartbreak of Robb moving on.

The anger caused by his stupidity.

The moment you learned he had married that Westerling woman, the one who traveled along with the infantry, healing men who probably didn’t have a chance, you knew this war was doomed. Not because of what Walder Frey would do, but because of Robb’s clear lack of foresight. How could he not see what the rest of you saw? All for one woman.

You had never asked that of him.

Your engagement had been broken off when the war began. He told you he wanted to keep the engagement but did not want you to be a target, and you had told him that the greatest chance he’d have at winning this war was through an advantageous marriage. One that would offer far more than your family could. You didn’t do it because you didn’t love him, no. The both of you were desolate at the reality of it all. In your mind, you hoped he would refuse to marry throughout the war. Hoped the “young wolf” would be strong enough, that he wouldn’t need to. But you knew better, and you knew he needed the numbers. If Arya and Sansa were going to survive, he needed a stronger army and a wife that could offer more to him standing by his side. 

When he promised to marry Walder Frey’s daughter, your heart broke. Yet the passage was worth it. The North was worth it.

You would do it a thousand times over for Sansa and Arya, and you’d do the same for your own young cousins that were like sisters to you. Not that Dacey and Lyra needed protecting, but if they did, you would do it for them without much thought. 

For his family, for his sisters, you broke the engagement. 

And Robb threw all of that away, and the North along with it, by marrying Talisa.

As you changed into more suitable riding clothes, you couldn’t help but think of the past. Of when you thought you had it all figured out. You closed your eyes, and tears slipped out at the memories of him.

Holding his hand and walking through the glass gardens. Braiding Sansa’s hair. Chasing after Bran and Arya as they climbed up walls and through windows.

Or when he kissed you in the Godswood, telling you that you were standing on the spot where you would eventually marry.

Lies.

You would never have any of those things again.

“Y/n?” 

You startled at Robb’s voice, wiping away any stray tears and turning around to prepare to face him, hiding your bags behind your back. 

“Yes, your highness?” You responded bitterly as he entered the tent on your response.

“Please don’t call me that. When did you ever get so formal?” He muttered.

“I’ve always been formal to those who require it.”

“I do not require it of you.”

“Your station and our relationship does.”

“You mean our lack of a relationship?” He bit slightly before calming again.

You stood, unmoving, eyes glazing past him as you waited for him to get on with it. He stepped forward and you stiffened.

“I had realized we never spoke about Maege…” He stepped even closer and his hand reached up before you quickly took a step back from him, confused at his purpose and his words. He looked at you with a pained expression at your coldness, and it just made you angry. None of this was your choice. “Your aunt was a great woman,” he began. “I know you loved her deeply, and she looked after you like you were her own. I am truly sorry for your loss.”

Perhaps, under different circumstances, Robb’s condolences may have made you soften. May have had you second-guessing your choice to leave. Now, looking at him, you could hardly recognize the man you once loved. He spoke with the compassion he always seemed to hold within him, yet the way he stood, the way he looked, he had this strange self-righteousness. As if this could save you from your pain… and what of your father? He must not know.

You stood there staring at him before you spoke, in as neutral a tone as you could muster. “We have all made great sacrifices, your highness. I believe my aunt may rest easy knowing her own sacrifice, that of her life, saved countless others.” Unlike you, you thought to yourself. No, he sacrifices others. Not himself. 

Robb wasn’t an idiot, and his expression sunk at your words. “I appreciate every sacrifice that has been made on behalf of the North.”

Sadness and anger were welling up within you, and gods, you wanted to yell at him. You wondered if you could still get away with something like that, yet you simply muttered, thinking of your father, your aunt, the stark girls. “And a great many, indeed.”

“Y/n… do not insinuate that I do not know sacrifice. I have lost as much, if not more, compared to all those here.” 

“Whatever you believe,” you spoke, looking directly into his eyes, “it doesn’t really matter in the end, does it? It doesn’t matter what we’ve lost, it’s already gone.” You turned your head away, willing tears to stay put in your eyes.

“I am sorry.”

You didn’t know what he was apologizing for. “It is what it is.”

“I made you a promise. And I broke it.”

“You did.”

“Why must you always act like it doesn’t matter to you?” He scoffed, frustrated. There was a pause. “Were you.. were you packing up your things to leave?”

You turned to look at your bags on the bed.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, your highness.”

“Don’t call me that, please, for gods sakes. And all I ever wanted was an ounce of pushback from you! We were to be married, and you gave that away so easily, yet now you punish me for it every day because I married Talisa!”

“Robb,” you spoke harshly, stopping his rant, giving him what he seemed to want. An honest response. “You’re right, I am angry with you. Just not for the selfish reasons you think I am.”

“Well if you’re abandoning the war effort, it’s better for me to hear it now before you’re taken prisoner.”

You sighed at his childish threat. “I think you haven’t seen a single thing I’ve done. Of course breaking the engagement mattered to me! How could you not see that? You know how much I loved you, how on earth could you really think I gave that up so easily? Without second thoughts? I did it for you! And you’re so far up your own arse at this point that you can’t even see that! I sacrificed my love for you for the lives of your sisters. For the chance to win this war. Is that not a good enough reason for you? It’s not that you married Talisa, it’s that I agreed to end the engagement while under the impression that it would change the tides of the war. That you would marry a Frey and secure the twins. But you didn’t do that, Robb. And it felt like a knife in my back.” Robb stood a few paces away from you, a hurt expression across his face, one of shame and sadness. “I made that sacrifice for nothing.”

“I love her. That’s why I married her. I loved, I still love, you… I could not marry a woman I did not love. It wouldn’t have been right for either of us.”

“This is not about love, Robb. It is about duty, and honor. I know you believe what you did was honorable, honorable to the sanctity of vows and marriage… but you killed hundreds if not thousands of our men with your choice. Is that worth it to you? Is that truly so honorable, if it meant breaking your promises?”

“We will make it right with the Freys, and pay our debts another way. But you, you broke your promise to me. And now you stand here with your bags packed, is that not breaking your promise, too?”

“I did it for your family! I did it to try to save your sisters, and I did it for you! How can you not see that? And I’m leaving now because my family is in trouble, my cousins just lost their mother and now must rule the island. I’ve given up so much for you, for your family…” You rose your voice in anger, beginning to lose control of your emotions, hands beginning to shake as you tied up your bags.

“Even if they are family, what would your father think of you being a deserter?”

“Do not speak of my father-“ your voice broke, tears welling up in your eyes. 

“If you were under his command he’d have you killed for abandoning your position, y/n,”

“He’s dead, Robb!” You yelled, eyes locking to his, tears dripping from your eyes like spring rain. “My father is dead.”

“Y/n- I didn’t know,” Robb’s face had fallen to one of sympathy, his hand reached out for you, to comfort you like he had so many times in the past. And this time you let his hand reach your shoulder. You stiffly let him protectively put a hand on the top of your head, and pull you into his embrace. After a moment, you relaxed into his warmth, exhaling shakily as the tears kept coming. “I know how much he meant to you. I am so sorry…”

“Robb, you have to let me go,” you whispered, and you knew he understood you meant he needed to let you return home, because his hold around you was maintained. “I don’t have anything left for me here. I want another chance. A chance to be happy. I want to protect and defend my home, and the family I have left.”

“I can’t,” he told you earnestly. “I can’t.”

“You’re married, you moved on… So why won’t you let me?”

“I didn’t, really. I couldn’t.”

“But you did. You can’t take any of it back, Robb. And I know that I can’t either.” You paused to collect yourself before continuing. “Do you want to know how my father died?”

He was silent for a moment before asking, “how?”

“His own men killed him. There was a mutiny.” His grip around you tightened. “My father was an incredibly respected man. And in the end, no matter how much he did right, he did not pay enough attention to what was right in front of him. I don’t think he ever considered just how possible it was that his men would turn on him.”

“The North is stronger than a band of criminals. We have a family name to stand behind, we have bannermen who swore oaths for generations. It is different,” he rationalized, looking down at you. And you looked up, and then, you could remember why you fell in love with him. With his handsome face and dark curls, his fierce yet pragmatic nature, the overwhelming protection, and the way his adoration for you shone through his eyes. The way you could feel it. And your heart hurt, because you thought he might be wrong. His eyes stayed on yours as you spoke.

“Nothing is as strong as it seems, Robb… You just crossed Walter Frey. One of the most selfish men I’ve ever met, the lord of a great river lands house, and of the crossing, which you desperately need for this war… I could be wrong. I could be, but I’ve already lost you. I’ve already lost your sisters. I’ve lost my aunt, who raised me as her own, and I’ve lost my father. I cannot be here anymore. There is nothing for me here, and while I can never forgive you for the choices you made, I also cannot bear to lose more of you than I already have.” 

Robb brought his hands up to your face, brushing the water from your eyes as his own eyes welled with tears. 

“You have to let me go,” you pleaded again, voice barely even a whisper. 

“I know,” he nodded. “At least let me get a horse and supplies for you. Meet me at the eastern edge of the camp.”

And with that, he quickly withdrew his hands, leaving your tent without a second glance.

As you waited, you ensured you had packed everything. You double-checked the items and re-laced your boots before throwing on a warm cloak and stepping outside. The air was growing colder, and with the winds came winter.

You quickly made your way to the edge, and by the tree line you spotted him. Standing with your horse, already saddled.

He was silent when you approached, and could not meet your eye as he took your bags and attached them. He automatically held a hand out to help you mount, but when you took it, he looked at you again. And he truly looked at you. His eyes ran over the details of your face, like he was committing it to memory, and held your hand like a lifeline. He looked at you with sad desperation, pulling you into a hug once more, tucking your head under his chin and holding you so tight you could hardly breathe. When his grip loosened, he placed a tender kiss to your forehead, and within it held every memory, and every touch. 

“You know where to go. Just promise me to be careful. Go quickly, don’t stop for anyone… I love you, y/n.” His voice sounded hoarse, too much emotion behind it to even speak of.

“I love you too, Robb,” you told him, staring deep into his eyes as you cried for what felt like the millionth time that day. “And I am sorry that wasn’t enough.” 

He simply nodded, and helped you onto the horse.

He did not look at you as you fixed the hold on the reins or the lay of your cloak along your back, but as you urged your horse into a galloping pace and you looked back, his eyes were fixed on you.

You knew then that you would always love him, and no matter how lost he made you feel, and while you could never forgive him, you could now move forward. You knew you could find your way.

Whether Robb made it through or not, your situations wouldn’t change. Too much had transpired to ever go back.

No, even if you both survived this war, you knew that this would be the last time you ever saw Robb Stark.

[mdhwrites]

What is a Magic System That Could Have Worked for The Owl House?

So first I want to point out that TOH doesn't actually have a magic system. Or more that it has one of the softest in existence. Just because they categorize it and have spell circles, rules they themselves do not stick to, does not mean it has a magic system. D&D has a magic system due to its spell slots, spell levels, its component, somatic and physical components to casting a spell. Things that add restrictions, flavor, etc. to the system rather than just "I have magic and so therefore I can cast."

And mind you, not every fantasy story with magic in it NEEDS a magic system. Some do just fine with a soft magic system, with the wizardry in it being there for flavor and fun. Of course, TOH struggles to include flavor and fun with its fantasy setting and worse yet... Magic is actually REALLY important to the premise of the show. It is what Luz wants to learn and her final fate is to become a witch who's learning magic. The largest plot point in the series for an entire season is the coven system, which should be rooted in exploration and uses of the magic but they're just... kind of there. Also, Luz's journey to learn magic has nothing to actually do with her character progression, arc, or even flavor. She even learns the same lessons between the light glyph and ice glyph of needing to listen to Eda and not take shortcuts with her magic.

It's part of why learning magic isn't a part of the show. The magic in TOH is just too simple to warrant exploration which is a problem when one third of your show is about a MAGIC SCHOOL.

So what is a system that could have worked with the themes and plot of TOH? Now, this isn't actually going to be entirely reasonable as a more complex magic system would have theoretically taken more time and more focus but also implies that TOH doesn't waste a lot of its time and boy is that just wrong, especially in S1 when these elements would/should have been explored the most.

Anywhos: We have three mandates to fill. The magic system must A: Work within Luz's character arc and development, either in wanting to be a witch or learning the differences between reality and fantasy. You can actually make both harmonious by making it PLAUSABLE for Luz to learn it but that casting it will never be easy, or that to become a master is difficult.

B: It has to be able to be structured in such a way that the Coven System matters. That somehow the covens restrict magic and oppose Luz's goal to learn as much as she can while also oppressing the citizenry.

C: It has to be complex/interesting enough that learning about magic can facilitate concepts for the magical school setting. Admittedly, the magic school could have taught other things but the Isles is just our world with more teeth so that's not really an option.

What this leads to the concept of is that it is something that is hard to master, has at least some complexity and that it can draw on various elements so as to allow for the division of things. The last one is honestly the hardest to decide upon. It's one of the biggest weaknesses of the coven system as the delineation is mostly arbitrary. The covens are just decided because they're part of Belos' plan and many either overlap or are pointless, such as the Potions Coven being something anyone can do while you'd expect Plant and Healing, or Healing and Potion, to overlap somewhat.

Honestly, I think going emotion based might have worked, especially as a connection to TOH's main theme of self expression. It also plays into these being from the Titan, channeling effectively the Titan's godlike emotions into smaller scale effects, better than even the glyphs because the glyphs are entirely faceless versus the Titan (which is one argument for that having not been planned initially). So you have a coven that is all about destruction magic that channels anger. You have a healing and support coven channeled through kindness and empathy. Construction made by will and resolve. Etc. like that. It also allows more flavor from each coven as each figures out its own way to be a threat or do something because they aren't literally restricted to variations of effectively one spell, as most covens feel like in TOH as is.

This also plays into Luz having been wanted to be nuerodivergent from the start. Emotional control and regulation is usually quite hard for anyone who's nuerodivergent *waves from his box in the autism square* and so while her personality allows her to draw on a LOT of emotion, she can't reliably choose one or control it, leading to a danger component in her learning it. It also contrasts with Amity who's personality and upbringing enforces the idea that theoretically she should know how to control her emotions better but struggles to express herself, keeping her magic focused but small.

And as far as a coven system that is designed to keep people down? Holy shit could that work. If your main guard coven is a bunch of raving, angry lunatics who are their most powerful when entirely unhinged, that is going to cause PROBLEMS. It also just separates people based on personalities, creating in groups and not liking those who don't act out because they inherently are going to be weaker witches and thus bad at their jobs.

And for school... Well, TOH liked to use school as a way to talk about the modern way US education is handled far more than making it fit within the bounds of its world. Making it about emotions has it so that Luz is going to actively grind against lessons there as she needs to be taught differently. The tricks that work for most just don't with her so they need to figure something else out.

And an added benefit is that as she finds friends, she gains perspective. People who can help her understand how they perceive and deal with their emotions, especially when their magic is required. Hell, Willow could even be a microcosm for Luz as her support magic doesn't work well at first because of all of her bottled up anger which Luz helps find healthier outlets for until Willow can do both aggressive and supportive magic without losing herself in one or the other.

HELL! It even works for Belos! The fucker is a Puritan! They HATED emotions and self expression. So he would despise this whole magic system, wanting to see it destroyed as a basic core of not only his religious but cultural beliefs. It's not as explicitly racist but also Belos makes for a bad racist villain in the first place so that's not really a bad thing and it's still about not letting new voices be heard. Allowing people to just be themselves and in a way that fits much more with the storytelling priorities of the show than just Belos not liking witches because of their race.

And I haven't stewed on this system for days or anything. I literally came up with it as I wrote this blog. Because I like fantasy and I like magic systems. This isn't even that hard of a magic system, instead leaning on emotion to allow a softer touch and allowing modern themes that actually can be transplanted to a fantasy realm to allow it to do the jobs that are required of it.

But TOH didn't care about its magic. Ever. If it had, it might not have been one of the most boring, least explored things in the show despite the first episode ending with Luz starting a journey SPECIFICALLY TO LEARN MAGIC.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[isa-ghost]

Hm ok not sure how to write this post but it's a fun thing and I've been wanting to gush about it for weeks. Uhhh

Achievement Unlocked: Finally found something that's pushed me closer to agnostic than atheist??

Basically, I was seeing an obnoxious, totally inexplicable amount of hawks and corvids in my area irl, especially whenever I was stressed. So I asked all my witchy friends about it (one was straight up born into a coven, it's fuckin sick 🤩) and they sent me some stuff those animals symbolize.

And then I asked about what deities/entities they're associated with. They sent me a short list, so I started looking into each one to see if I felt a strong pull to any of them. One of them was Apollo, the Greek God of [A Lot of Cool Shit]. Right away, I clicked with him. The god of truth, prophecy, healing, the arts. It's all stuff that matters a lot to me. I especially found it fascinating he's said to be a protector of the young, and I, a psych major, want to be a therapist of some sort (read: healer) specifically for teenagers. He's also Known for being incredibly bisexual, and even though I'm pan, my sexuality is still a huge part of me. And a lot of other things about him clicked with me too, both big things like my career goal and my identity, and small insignificant things like the fact that he's a Sun God and I'm a Fire Sign. There were way too many coincidences and connections I was making to myself while reading about him to just think nothing of it. Most damning of all, hawks and corvids are said to be his messengers. If that wasn't a "Hello Isa I've been trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty" moment, I don't know what is. So I said fuck it, I'm gonna give working with him the way my witchy friends work with their deities/entities a try.

It's been like three weeks now? And I haven't done much but I'm really happy about the concept of it all. I see hawks and crows a lot still, especially when I'm stressed or upset (One morning I was getting roadrage omw to school and I shit you not, I watched a hawk land on a street lamp and there was a crow sitting on the very next one. I couldn't help but laugh). I got myself a necklace with a crow on it because I don't really have a space to do formal practice type stuff. And last night I had my wife do a tarot reading for me, and the gist of it was "you have a budding relationship, it's a good thing and it'll help you, nurture it with all the creative freedom you like and be chill about it." Which is basically what I've already been doing.

But my favorite part of this wild ass development is that I realized while reading up on Apollo that my whole life I've thought of or spoke about something and then it either happened or something related to it would suddenly show up in my life right after. I don't believe in ✨️manifesting✨️ and holy shit I'm not calling myself psychic whatsoever, but this weird coincidence thing has been happening to me as long as I can remember and I've been noticing it even more after looking up Apollo, both irl and in my dreams. I think Apollo's dodgeball being my favorite Tumblr meme before this all happened to me is making a comedic amount of sense now.

I'm still pretty skeptical of most religious practices because I just. Am one of those people, I guess. And I had Catholicism shoved down my throat by my dad as a kid, AND I'm queer, so I have a Bad relationship with the concept of religion as it is. But this feels right, and it's fascinating to me, and the idea that these weird happenstances in my life could be a figure that represents several things that make up my core values and my identity trying to get my attention feels really touching. It feels like something wanted my attention so badly, and I've been happier since I gave it a chance.

TLDR: After consulting my witchy friends about some weird shit that keeps happening to me irl, I did some light research and figured out I feel a strong connection to the god Apollo. He represents a lot of things that matter to me and the concept has made me a lot happier recently. And I'm pretty sure he's given me minor dodgeball privileges. I'm finally invested in some form of religious practice, and best of all its one I kinda get to just make my own because it's not an organized one.

So if yall need a dodgeball thrown at something, maybe I got you. 👈🏻👀👈🏻

[nice-to-meet-you-im-a-crytid]

How To Be a Magical Girl (Introduction)

This is an introduction to my original story as the title states. This will not be a comprehensive lore dump just a ramble of what the story is like and the many (many inspirations behind it

Disclaimers: This is a story in EXTREMELY EARLY production, This is mostly for fun and for me as a writer to both build a fanbase around my work and get used to jotting down ideas.

Inspirations: I'm staring with my inspirations for the story since they heavily explain where I was heading for pretty much the rest of the story.

First really big one is the anime Madoka Magica, so there's a lot of cutesy-ness mixed with body horror and some darker themes too in my writing. This also effects my art style quite a bit if you've seen any of my work on my tumblr page. Of course there's the magical girl aspect and an obvious school setting. Speaking of school settings my other inspiration would have to be My Hero Academia. I'm mostly referring to the slice of life/school aspects and the earlier class focused episodes. I think the world building in My Hero is really cool and I think it shows quite a bit in my own world. Also the technical aspects of becoming a hero in the earlier episodes have given me a good idea of how I'd like my own story's made up profession to work on it's own technical scale.

Setting/Plot:

How To Be a Magical Girl is a novel in the works centered around the coming of age stories of a large cast of girls (15-16 yr olds) who go to a magical school and as the title states learn how to be a magical girl both as a job and as people. One really big theme is light academia which includes love of learning, friendship, and overall loving life. Another is also perspective as many of the mini stories are written is different POVs and hopefully if I can get a book or two into the world each one would also be in a different POV. This does lead to a large cast of characters all of which have different backgrounds, cultures, and unique dynamics with each other along with different places in each others stories. This is also one big coming of age story which is very dear to me as I, myself am coming of age as a young author, so this story is a huge reflection on my own experiences. The biggest most prevalent theme besides light academia is trauma and more importantly healing! The main monsters that these magical girls fight in fact come from trauma and each of the girls have their own troubles to work through along the course of the story. The literal setting of the book is of course the school: St. Amia's International School for girls! Pretty much think Hogwarts but made of quartz. Legit though lots inspiration came from European design and architecture (Scottish castles, French Chateaus, etc.) in alignment with the book's theme. Here is link to the Pinterest mood board Worldbuilding: Obviously there is magic in this world. It takes place a couple hundred years into the future, magic is very well integrated into the modern world, i.e it's used as an energy source, magical creatures are common place across the world, it's even a normal and often required course in schools. Magic itself is a learned skill that all people can have the ability to advance in and excel at. My best analogy for it is it's like sports, if you run everyday you gradually get better and you could even make it a profession with enough training. And also like sports there are certain skills and abilities that are better for each one, flexibility and strength are both good for all sports but would be best used and trained in particular ones. This also translates over to types of magic and skills. (These are not the best comprehensive notes of my story's world so I might make an in depth post for the whole thing, tell me in the comments if this gets enough attraction!)

If this post somehow reaches you and maybe you even like it give it a reblog so others can have the chance to find it too in mess of an algorithm. And maybe even leave a comment if you'd like to see more from me!

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

[void-botanist]

An Incomplete Guide to Magic in Locality Space

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Magic School.

Witches (magic by birth)

Can be any species and gender

Hereditary link but not a directly inherited trait

Comprise ~1% of all people

Many witches have weak abilities; a few (like Christina, Bo, and the pirate queen Althea) have more powerful/versatile abilities

Magic is in some sense about the projection of the self into new places

Types of witch

Warp: can warp people/objects to a new location, with or without touching them. More powerful warpers can move more volume of stuff for longer distances, sometimes from further away from the thing being warped, and/or can better manage the quick creation and destruction of warp tunnels involved in warp racing.

Dive: can read minds when directly touching the mind's owner. Cannot change memories or thoughts in any way and only rarely cause them to become corrupted. More powerful divers can seek out memories/thoughts about specific topics to the exclusion of everything else.

Duplication ("Dupe"): can copy memories into written marks. Almost a magicraft, except without the innate ability to access and transfer the memories, there can be no committing them to another medium. Many dupe witches don't know they're dupe witches unless they are tested or have an unusual experience. More powerful duplicators can copy longer memories into the same amount of words and/or copy memories in more detail/sharpness.

Revital: can heal by projecting their vitality into someone else, essentially giving them a temporary healing factor. This can work on any injury that the body can heal itself (e.g. a scrape, a cleanly fractured bone), because it is healing itself, just faster. More powerful revitalizers can heal more injuries at once, or heal larger injuries more completely or quickly.

Magicians (magic by learning)

Can be any species and gender

Comprise ~10% of all people (maybe more)

Accomplish their magic with craftwork of some kind. Things can be made to have many practical effects but magicraft is first and foremost an art form, with many cultural variations

New crafts are created all the time as people figure out how to harness existing magical energy into new forms, including by combining crafts

Some types of magician/magicraft

Pigment: commonly seen in designs that make artificial gravity in ships (grav patterns) or moving artworks (what if you could print a gif)

Papermaking: common paper effects include self-weighting, crisp folding, self-copying, no ink feathering

Weaving (in English, "warp and weft" magic lol): common cloth effects include self-repairing, nonfraying, neon, sparkle, moving designs (which often use Jacquard loom style techniques)

Shifters (uncontrollable magic by birth)

basically werewolves, though they are not all strictly wolves in animal form

transform when the full moon clears the horizon, or on worlds without moons, apparently according to assorted other light and night cycle factors

cannot control the transformation, though some can delay it by a minute or two by concentrating really hard

considered their own species, yet unlike other nonhuman species, can have children with humans, which is part of how people concluded that shifters are magic humans

A few in-world theories of how shifters came to be

guy saw a magic thing

guy touched a magic thing

guy ate a magic thing

guy was cursed forever by an Entity

guy was blessed forever by an Entity

guy WAS an Entity

it's the moon's fault

group curse??

Magic Education

Both witches and magicians can be taught at magic schools, and often are in tandem, even though their specific abilities don't overlap. Both are also taught at home or through apprenticeships depending on what's available/relevant. Young witches with strong powers, though, are sometimes sent to live short-term at schools that are better equipped to help them learn control. Most witches also have a specialty in a magicraft or two alongside their innate magic (and no, being a witch does not make you better at magicraft). And while some places encourage competition between magicians and witches (for group reasons or capitalism reasons), they're not inherently opposed.

Shifters get The Talk when they're children (shifting starts pretty early in life) and the conversation evolves as they get older and can understand more about why and how this happens and how to handle turning into a full on canid every moon cycle. This is especially important when they live somewhere besides their homeworld, because their shift cycle will always match the moon/night cycle at their place of birth. (As such the term "two-timer" does not refer to double-crossing but rather expat shifters, who may in fact wear dual-time watches or two separate watches to monitor both places at once.)

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— [side story]: Y/N's first kiss.

Depictions of a brief succession mentioned on one of my asks! Which you can find both here and here. About the main fic over... here! (Would recommend reading that one just to get the general idea of what's going on—it's a Naoya x reader fic)

Chapter warnings: none :> except and overprotective father, an annoying Satoru and a very curious yet... puzzling Y/N. (slight gojo x geto at the end) maybe even y/n x gojo if you squint your eyes.

A/N: If you've been following me these past few days, you'll notice that this was supposed to be posted on Sunday. I may have done a few miscalculations when it comes to the editing part, and when I finally wanted to post this the lights went out 💀💀 For a moment I truly believed fate was like nope, you ain't gonna post that. But we're finally here :>

And as expected, this idea turned out somewhat different than what I planed, but still satisfying. I really love writing Minako and Eiichi, and young Y/N, Hinata and Ren—guess I'm trying to heal something from my personal life LMAO. Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy this small (not so small) side story :>

As always, reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ❤❤ Happy reading!

Ao3 link.

It is within undeniable reasons that there are many subjects that a young mind wouldn’t care to register for simply because it doesn’t really impact their life.

Body aches? Sleeping in the wrong position? No worries, your body will find a way around it. These things are nothing but a myth.

Worrying about having clean clothes for the next day? Who cares! They’re going to get dirty anyway.

Taxes? Work? What even is that?

Sure, children were expected to have certain responsibilities at the end of the day, part of the nurturing process of molding them into capable, working adults of society.

But things worked a bit differently for those that held onto tradition, and sorcerers were no different.

Marriage, an adult term, struck your reality for the first time when your sister became engaged to the Gojo heir, both at the young age of 5 years old, just after their techniques became apparent before the jujutsu community—you were only 3.

However, just as Hinata and your now future brother-in-law were too young to oppose or consent to this arrangement, you were on the same page when it came to understanding its definition. Which would come years later, precisely after reaching 6 years of age.

It wasn’t meant to be a secret, of course, being related to one the biggest figures in the modern era of jujutsu meant that you’d be presented with situations that most civilians would either experience later in life, or never at all. 

Situations that two people in particular, your parents if they must be named, fought hard to postpone for as long as they could in order to give their children a sense of normality, a childhood. 

But with your natural inquisitiveness, as well as your determination, this would be their hardest foe yet.

It all started one day after school.

You were running through one of the many halls of your extensive home —carefully avoiding clashing into the working staff members who greeted you as the pitter patter of your small feet against the wooden floor alerted them of your passing, to which you’d return with the same enthusiasm with a cheeky grin and a breathy hello!— with seemingly no purpose, that is, outside of enjoying your spare time by doing whatever a  carefree child your age would be doing after finishing all their homework.

And that seemed to be your intent for the next few minutes, had you not heard the familiar voices of your parents coming out from one of the nearby rooms: low and tight, as if they were discussing something that was solely intended for those in the premises, but with much annoyance nonetheless—the perfect combination to arouse anyone’s intrigue.

Had you been a few years older, you would’ve come to the appropriate conclusion that your presence was to be unessential, swiftly turning onto the opposite direction and moving on with your day.

However, because you have yet to understand what certain boundaries looked like, as well as wanting to bask in your parent’s attention (without adding that their secrecy issued you with great fascination) you’d soon find yourself scurrying into their direction and to the door you’d figured to be harboring your parents.

The desire of wanting to see your parents deprives you from basic etiquette by going straight to sliding the door open and scampering inside, which immediately earns you the abrupt silence and widening eyes of your bewildered parents.

“What are you doing here, little one?” Minako is the first to speak, voice tremulous as she manages to squeeze one, two quick glances at her husband whilst keeping her attention on you, worried eyes asking him if there was a possibility you might've heard their conversation—to which he incredulously reacts with a subtle shook of his head. “All done with homework?” she asks, now moving closer to you.

“Yep!” You nod, stretching your arms towards your mother, motioning the need of an embrace. Minako, although still surprised by your sudden appearance, doesn’t put up much of a fight when it comes to accepting your affectionate ministrations. It takes less than a second after that for your parents' shock to blend into adoration—the consistent effect the presence of your siblings, and you sequentially, have on them  “Too easy”

“Oh, is that so?” Your mother chuckles—your newfound confidence is a trait that she finds partially amusing yet concerning, for she knows that without limits, might lead to impudence…

A fact that Eiichi condemns as soon as it travels past your lips, for he doesn’t appreciate the notion of you growing up to be rude. However, just as your mother, he can’t stop himself from doting on you while feeling slightly proud, because who doesn’t like seeing their children thrive against any obstacle?

“Be mindful of your words, pumpkin. It’s good to be confident, but not too much to be considered arrogant—always remember to be humble”

You’re too young to understand what he means by arrogant in this context, but you don’t need to look beyond your father’s tone to understand it’s not something good. 

So as a response, you nod and chirp a short ok! Giving him a thumbs up to further cement your understanding, before glancing back at your mom to resume her torment with the following question “What are you doing?”

Eiichi and Minako go pale. 

Sweat begins to slide from the sides of their faces, like teenagers caught in a compromising position as you now intently stare at them: wide-eyed, head slightly tilted to your side with slight pout on your lips.

You didn’t need to speak for them to understand that you weren’t about to let them go, that is, until getting the answer you were looking for—just exactly what they wanted to avoid, what pushed them to have their previous discussion in a secluded room in the first place.

In the briefest moments of your distraction, your parents sought out for each other’s gazes, tension swirling in their eyes as they telepathically asked each other for support: were they ready to take this step with you and reveal the topic they kept hidden from you until now…  or continue feigning ignorance?

They would be lying if they didn’t believe that this day would eventually come, sooner than later, whether by their terms or those of an external force. 

In a way, they were lucky to have kept this a secret from you for as long as they had, for the elders weren’t known for being prudent with their own family. As well as grateful for your siblings dutifully playing their part… although their willingness could easily be defined as obliviousness more than anything.

Well, taking this into consideration… they’d much rather tell you themselves what has been plaguing their mind in a controlled environment, than forcibly delegating that role to someone else with the possibility of bursting everything they stood for in flames.

So, wanting to take advantage of the situation while still having the upper hand, your parents decide it’s finally time to tell you what is going on between your sister and Satoru.

“We were talking…” Eiichi begins, slowly, but surely. Playing the kind of parent that knew how to break the ice when it came to assessing long overdue conversations with their children. 

While Minako would be the parent to follow up on his lead by offering support in the form of explanations and comfort, ones that were inevitably needed once the cat was finally out of the bag. Just as they foresaw this situation to unfold.

 “About your sister” Minako added and you blink.

“Hina-chan?” you mumble. The way your soft voice fills with concern for your older sister has your parents silently doting on you for a few seconds, before snapping back to reality and composing themselves.

“Yes” Your father agrees “The one and only”

“Is she ok?” you caution, and Eiichi physically struggles to stop himself from rushing towards your mother and plucking you out of her arms —which you were already resting comfortably and warmly on— and accepting you into his to kiss your worries away.

But there's always a place and time for everything, so instead, he focuses back on the task at hand.

“She’s fine” Minako reassures you “Don’t worry”

“Then why are you talking about her?” you frowned, confused even further by their well-intended yet cryptic words.

“I wish we wouldn’t have to speak about this” Eiichi whispers at his wife, and Minako silently looks up to him, ironically to warn him to be mindful of his words. 

Once he declared her message to be understood by the way he breathed an apology back to her, she continued.

“You remember Satoru-kun, right?” Minako says and you nod. “And how he sometimes visits us, or how we visit him?”

You nod once more, yet, clueless as ever as to where she’s heading with all this.

“There’s a reason why Satoru is close to our family” Eiichi adds. 

The prospect of walking alarmingly close to the point of no return has both parents filling up with anxiety, with your mother inadvertently holding her breath as your father attempts to swallow down his nerves.

But they’ve already made the decision, there’s no turning back now. And just as they had to face difficulties before, they’d do so once more, together.

“That’s because he’s going to marry Hinata-chan” Minako is the one to land the final blow, and your parents prepare themselves for the inevitable impact.

“Marry?” you repeat, confused being an understatement.

Now that’s a word you haven’t heard before—foreign to your dictionary, naturally leading your brain to scatter through its memories to find a possible definition… to no avail.

All you could really think of is customary greeting people would tell each other during the holidays, so if you were to place the pieces together, it meant that…

“Is Hina-nee Santa claus?!” is what you conclude, and it’s at this point that your parents feel they might’ve miscalculated your innocence towards this situation, at least for now.

Minako is far more experience with the art of subtlety when it comes to holding back a chuckle, but your father isn’t, and when he unwillingly lets out a snort, you’re quick to make him regret it by giving him a frown of disapproval, offended by his obvious mockery.

“Um, no! I mean—Sorry, little one” He spluttered, quick to jump into action to save the fondness you held for him. He hopes that his small slip up wasn’t enough to make you angry towards him for the rest of the day, or worse… “I… had something in my nose, that’s all”

You continue to stare holes, clearly not buying his excuse. 

«Oh, if you only knew how much power you had over your father…» Minako muses out of amusement before you eventually sigh, abdicating your embarrassment for your father’s reaction in favor of your still prevalent confusion.

You soon realize that not even your mother’s tone was enough to give you a hint of what she meant by that word, and judging by the way your father reacted, merry and marry weren’t interchangeable words.

So, pushing your eyebrows together and looking back to your mother, you plead yet again for an answer “What is marry?”

«This is where the fun begins» Eiichi nervously glances at his wife, silently cheering her on.

“Marry… well” Minako takes a deep breath, mind scrambling from the best words to create a direct yet… calming definition she knows the elders of the L/N clan do not deserve. “Marriage is something people that love each other do” she’d begin.

“Hina-chan loves Satoru-kun?” you ask innocently, and your father’s emotions spiral out of control once more.

“NO!” He cries and Minako’s head snaps in his direction faster than he can sputter more nonsense. 

Her right eye twitches as she sinks deeper into disbelief—his inconsideration could lead to the crumbling of the explanation she was starting to build up. She knew it was difficult as it was, but he had to get it together if they wanted to make this work!

Eiichi considers himself lucky to have you here, because had it been the contrary, he knew he’d be getting an earful from her.

“I—I mean, yeah…? Who… knows?” It seems that he now has to worry about not earning the ire of his beloved wife this time. Trying to cover his mistake by muttering a quiet apology before signaling her to continue. 

“They care for each other, is what your papa meant to say” Minako doubles down on his intentions by circling back your attention to her with a soft pat on your back “And sometimes, that care takes us to make certain commitments. Such as with Hina-chan and Satoru-kun”

Commitment—she was being undeservingly nice by using that word to label the intrusive arrangement the L/N and Gojo clan contrived for the children. 

Perhaps it was better to skip formalities and go straight to the point by telling you that this decision was made purely out of benefit in hopes of begetting strong sorcerers out of their union…

But even with the constant reminder of how terrible life is set to be for most, if not all, sorcerers… your parents still wanted their kids to have a happy life, regardless of what path they chose, marriage included.

Minako and Eiichi had a relatively good and healthy marriage for a couple living in the jujutsu community, thus, it was only natural that they wanted the same for them, away from growing up fearing marriage. 

However it was possible, your parents wanted their kids to marry because they met someone that saw them for who they are, and not because their family pushed them to, or because they had a responsibility to the community. In other words, because they loved you, and you loved them.

It pains your parents to consider the possibility that both Hinata and Satoru might not grow to be happy in this union, after all, it’s something they were forced to accept from a very young age, without a chance to escape—the parents having no alternative but to agree.

But even if they couldn’t stop their respective families from doing so, it didn’t mean they wouldn’t go to great lengths to at least ensure their happiness, however that might come to be, while devotedly hoping that their efforts will be recognized as inspiration for the next generation, encouraging them to pick up from where they left off and do what they never could for those that follow.

Minako knows this to be a bit too diplomatic for your short age, but maybe it’ll stick with you until you’re mature enough to fight for what you want in life.

A seed of encouragement that she’ll plant in your young mind, starting with a child-appropriate version of this engagement.

“Hinata and Satoru are set to… live together in the future” Minako begins to explain what getting married essentially means “They’re going to have a ceremony, a party, to unite our clans. After that, your sister will move out of the house and… they’ll have a family—just like ours” Your mother looks at Eiichi to warn him away from saying anything that might just replicate his small incident from earlier.

It’s no secret that he’s the overprotective parent out of the two, and processing the fact that their kids will eventually grow up, work, probably get married and subsequently leave the house… was very difficult for him. 

But even with his protective nature, he was still capable enough to assertively understand the issue and what bothered him the most: Hinata was regrettably robbed of these choices.

And it’s his responsibility to do whatever he can to support them.

“And we were simply talking about the preparations for their wedding” Eiichi states, which wasn’t really that far of a stretch when reflecting back on their conversation. 

They were indeed talking about their wedding, but in terms of delaying it, instead of encouraging it. Hoping to stall it long enough to when either of them assumed their respective positions of leaders of the clan, the only moment in their life they’d be able to interfere in this previously taken decision and put a halt to it… or continue forward—but by then, it’ll be by their own volition… not because the elders wanted; if they haven’t brainwashed them, of course.

“Wedding?” you repeat, another foreign word, since you have never been to a wedding before.

“It’s a celebration…. Kind of like going to the shrine to pray ” Eiichi went on “There’s a priest, who will pray to the gods for their well-being, he’ll then purify them and the couple will exchange vows… promises of being loving and faithful to one another, and then, they’ll give each other rings”

“Like this one” Minako gestures at her thin silver wedding band and your eyes glisten with admiration for the shiny jewelry.

“Once everything is done… they kiss and they’re officially married” Your father concludes, quickly skimming over his words for the mental image of his sweet daughter kissing the insufferable white haired boy is enough to fill him with disgust. Had it been to him, no boy or girl would be allowed in near proximity to their children!

“Then there’s a party, a reception. With friends and family, with all kinds of food and desserts to choose from! ” Minako hypes, intentionally emphasizing the last part, which she knew you’d be more interested in, to push you away from the boring and tedious interpretation your father was unknowingly portraying—all for the sake of keeping this path open for you to choose, if you ever decide to do so.

“I see” you nod along, and by the following silence, that seems to be the end of the conversation.

Your parents, noting the absence of your questioning, take it to be the result of a satisfied curiosity by a well formulated answer, completely unaware of the reasoning behind it, far from being one of fulfillment, it was one of deep thought.

Leagues away from quenching your thirst, you now found yourself in a bigger hole of intrigue, starting by wondering why your sister was the one to get married, and not you, or your older brother for that matter—as if talking about the ownership of a toy, and not a life changing experience— just to show that Minako and Eiichi still decided to postpone the chapter of arranged marriages for a later date (hopefully never, your parents think, still processing the awkwardness from this conversation). 

And by the way their conversation moves onto Ren’s upcoming school festival, a topic that bored you enough to prompt your departure in hopes of finding better entertainment, you’d come to the natural conclusion that they were no longer interested in going back to weddings and receptions, meaning, they were no longer of help to your cause.

A realization that leads you to assume that the second best way to obtain information of what you needed was by asking your older sister, Hinata, directly. She was the one getting married after all, wouldn’t she know the most?

And that’s what you did… much to your sister’s disappointment, who thought you were approaching her with the intention of playing or basking in the fountain of knowledge she proclaims herself to be.

But no, of all things that you could’ve asked of her, you wanted to know her relation with the boy she found very, very annoying.

“Why do you want to know that?!” she cries, hurt evident in her voice and eyes as she theatrically waves her hands in the air “Don’t you want to see me use my technique instead?”

“No! I want to know why you’re getting married instead of me” 

“Do you want to get married?” Hinata retaliates, and you frown. Even from a young age, you were never fan of answering questions with other questions.

“No” you pout “...Just tell me Hina-nee!! Do you love him?”

“Ew, no!” She squirms and shivers out of disgust, and her reaction twists the definition your mother gave you earlier, leaving you more confused than you were when arriving.

“Then why?” you insist once more, and your sister ponders…

“I don’t know” She eventually shrugs, answering nothing if not truthfully “But it’s not because he’s pretty, that’s for sure”

“Ok, bye!” and without time to waste, you hastily turn around and exit the room, leaving behind a distraught Hinata who can’t do much but call you back to her as she regrets the way she brushed you off so coldly as she did—she throws promises of playing your favorite game, training with you, even doing your homework! But none of these things caught your attention.

Not to undermine how tempted you were to turn around and take her up on her offer, but right now, all that you could really care about was obtaining more information to quench your drowning thrist, and by process of elimination, that was to be with your brother: the oldest, the wisest, the one you knew that wouldn’t put much of a fight with you when answering your demands, when presented with puppy eyes.

And fold he did, just as you expected.

However, his response was a bit… underwhelming. 

Himself being too young to have been in some kind of meaningful relationship that would eventually lead to marriage, his only references were those of cartoonish movies and shows he’d seen throughout his life that briefly touched the subject—somewhat still oblivious as to why Hinata was to be the one to marry, instead of him or you, although with a better understanding that power played a role here. 

And if Ren had to be honest, marriage was something that had no space in his mind; adult talk, he’d say, too boring.

Yet, he still felt liable to give you some kind of resolution, so by doing the most with what he had, Ren redirected you to watch movies as well.

Movies that he considered the most appropriate to give you an answer in the whole marriage debacle. Princess movies, as he’d call them, the ones where the and they lived happily ever after plotline was to be found. Not knowing that this, far from helping you understand the kind of relationship Hinata and Satoru had, only brought you another wave of seemingly answerless questions.

But Ren wasn’t to blame, he too was young to assume any better, and if he knew that by putting you to do this would lead to all that followed next, he wouldn’t have done so. 

You no longer wanted to know what marriage was—at least not by definition. This time, you wanted to experience it.

Well, it’s only natural. With movies finishing in a happy ending which promised unconditional love and prosperity… wasn’t it programmed inside human nature to long for that as well?

And without any more obstacles to overcome, your young mind decided that marriage, your first kiss specifically, was to be the epitome of your needs—a desire that set off the internal alarms of your parents, specifically, your father, once interrogated about it.

“Where—where did you get that idea?” Eiichi tensely queried, a dreadful moment he never thought he’d be experiencing from you, and at only 6 years old, unnerved him to the point of perspiring.

“From a movie” you respond nonchalantly “Have you gotten a true love’s kiss?”

“I… guess?” he responds, upset and confused as ever as to where you could’ve gotten these terms from. Or more likely… Why did you become hyper focused on this? Just a few days ago you were more than enamored with a certain frog plushie they got for you on their last holiday… but now, that seems to be nothing more than a distant memory—perhaps someone from school was behind it all? 

Circling back to your question, if he really had to answer… kissing Minako was something he always considered to be the highlight of his day. Whether to begin or finish it, there's nothing he'd rather look forward to than her sweet gestures…

What?

No! 

He shouldn’t deviate from the problem at hand through his adoring wife! This is something different, alarming, and certainly not something for you to demand as if talking about a toy! And most of all, not entertaining you!

Why couldn’t you just ask him for something like most kids would normally do at your age? Like sweets, toys, or even skipping school?!

Well, at least it’s not that infamous where do babies come from? question that he already had the misfortune of suffering through with your siblings that’s bothering him today…

“But that’s not the point, Y/N! You shouldn’t go around asking that…”

“Is mama your true love?”

Eiichi blushes, and his immeasurable love for your mother prompts him to respond “Yes, she is”

“Will I have true love too?” you follow up, still ignorant to the tight spot you’re cornering your father into.

“I… think… I hope so” he hesitates, that’s a question that he wants to respond positively and without hesitation, but there are things that not even an all-knowing person like him (ever since you called him that one, he just can’t let go) could know.

Regretfully, his indecision is something that you’re quick to catch on.

“Does that mean I won’t?” you frown. You feel as if, yet again, you’re being glossed over compared to others. A sensation that’s quick to push you down into the familiar desperation that always came after by twisting your face into one of sorrow.

And Eiichi, upon noticing this abrupt change in your tone, regrets yet again how he approached you with this topic—mentally berating him for not being as sensitive as his wife was when it came to comforting their children.

“That’s not what I—” Your father frets, kneeling down to your level. Oh, the dilemma you’ve put your father in…

“Will no one… love me?” you wrongfully conclude and your father’s eyes jolt wide open.

“What?! I mean, you don’t need someone else to love you, Y/N!” Eiichi points out, mind frantically wondering how you even got to this outrageous conclusion?! “You have me, your mom, your siblings, Sumire, the whole staff! Isn’t that enough?”

“But you’re married to mama” you counter, almost matter-of-factly, and a bit too fast for your father’s liking. He’s barely able to sprout justifications to end your unnecessary torment before you’re already barraging him with more questions. “And Hina-nee will marry Satoru-kun. The only one that will love me is Ren-nii…”

Eiichi feels himself physically sinking deeper and deeper into the pit that your endless questions seem to be turning into. He never expected that you, the adorable baby daughter everyone loved and cherished, would be the one to worry about these silly things! And he thought the other question was the worst one out of the two…

Oh, how he wishes Minako was here to reassure you, for he thought you needed to remember that your parents' love was unconditional and unwavering. She always knew what to say to calm your continuous curiosity… and if you didn’t believe him, you’d surely believe her.

But she wasn’t there, and he needed to calm you down before you spiraled down even further…

And he knew just how to do so.

A sweet ally he knew he could always count on—although one that he and his wife were slowly starting to disapprove, for it was only a temporary solution. But drastic measures were needed for drastic situations. 

He’d beg for Minako’s forgiveness when she’s back, but for now…

“If I give you mochi… will you promise me to stop asking these questions?” …«at least until you’re older?» he wishes to add, but he doesn’t want to push his luck. For what older means for a kid has a vastly different definition for an adult. He can already see this situation unfolding if he doesn't take the necessary precautions; as soon as a week passes, you’re going to run back at him and tell him you’re older, technically just a week, but older nonetheless to bombard him with questions yet again.

No, not a chance.

And the bait seems to work, although with less excitement and giddy he expected from you, but still good enough because you’re soon pulling and tugging at his sleeve to rush him into retrieving the sweets he’s bribing you with.

Not the reward you were searching for, but still a welcomed one. And as your father guides you to the kitchen and onto the cabinet he was hiding these sweet treats, he takes it as his cue to retake this upsetting matter.

“Y/N” Eiichi would call as he looked down to you, munching on the box of taro mochi he’d intended to surprise you with one day after school. 

You’d look up to him, half of a mochi still in your mouth, as you hum in response.

“We’ll never stop loving you” he reassures you, slightly alleviating the pain that settled in his heart after hearing his daughter doubt herself in such a cruel way “No matter what happens, regardless if you, or your siblings, get married or not. We’ll always be here for you, for one another, because that’s what families do, ok?”

And you accept his answer, sealed by a hug and kiss from him, alongside the box of mochi he allowed you to eat even before dinner. 

You snuggle into his embrace for a few seconds longer before pulling away, promising to not bother him with the questions that seemed to upset him anymore.

You never intended to sadden him, of course, all you ever wanted was answers. So, wanting to see your father smile, you indulged in the mochi as an alternative to ease your curiosity.

Something you were all too happy to oblige… that is, until weeks passed and you were inevitably pushed back to square one after falling into the blanket of security your father’s heedlessness provided you.

It had been a while since your dad decided to bring the topic back, although he and your mother had been a bit more affectionate with you after that day.

But if you thought about it, you were the only one that didn’t get what you wanted. You were just as clueless as ever when it came to what marriage, true love, and a kiss, felt like. And determined as ever, you were out to pursue answers.

Did you worry about your father? Yes, but you comforted yourself by remembering that the promise you made only entailed asking him, not anybody else… right? You assumed that if you didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t get sad! 

Besides, if he wanted to completely stop you, he should’ve made you promise to not ask questions to anyone!

Taking that into consideration, you were set once again, on your journey of knowledge.

… 

…

With more frustration than you ever expected to feel in your life.

Why is that? 

Well, that’s easy to answer: the people that you decided to approach for answers began to push you away from the topic, justifying themselves by saying you’re too young to be worried about that, or why don’t you go play with your siblings instead? If not straight up ignoring you, not willing to entertain you as your father did, thus, not giving you a chance to retaliate. 

Unfortunately for them, putting this subject under a strict lockdown only grasped  more of your attention, as well as ignited you with determination. A feeling that pushes you into making a radical decision.

If you’re not able to obtain what you’re asking for, then you’ll have to find a way to force them out of them. A demand they won’t be able to refuse…

Gambling.

Gambling, by some strange reason—equally cryptic as attempting to explain how the mind of a young child worked—turned out to be your solution.

Although mostly illegal in Japan, you’ve still seen it happen before: The first occasion being through your staff whenever they wanted to kill some time in between chores.

The second instance, through the kids in your school. Of far lesser occurrence, solely present whenever one of your classmates found a shiny Pokémon card in their newest deck and wanted to either brag about it, or exchange it for something better. And lastly, but not least, when your family went out to the city and would inadvertently pass by a group of lottery enthusiasts gathered around the nearest ticket vendor as they waited for the lucky numbers to be announced—one of the limited, if not only, ways to partake in a legal form of gambling inside the country.

Whatever the reasons, they all maintained a single principle: if you wanted to gain something, you had to offer something.

And the bigger the fish, the bigger the bait.

But how would you manage to obtain a big fish, which was the kiss you so desperately sought after for the past few days, if everyone seems to avoid you like the plague?

Another solution runs through your mind.

A game, of course! By involving a game, you’d be inviting others to participate, in other words, a trap! And to make matters easier on you, you settled down for the classic bag of marbles that could never fail when looking for quick and cheap entertainment.

But just as you’re quick to overcome all obstacles thrown in your direction, you’re quicker to stumble onto more. 

This time, the hardest one yet: who will be naïve enough to not alert the adults of your schemes, but sufficient enough to fall in your trap?

Everyone at school was out of the question since it’s currently spring break, and it’s going to be at least a week before you see anyone again so… you’re not going to wait that long.

Your family is another scratched out possibility. You’re not going to ask for their help after they’ve been constantly avoiding you with no good reason (or so you believe) —completely oblivious to their reasoning, that being of how annoying you’ve become from repeating the same subject over and over again. 

That’s without considering your parents, who have explicitly stated they didn’t want you to worry about this, whom one could only assume would be rightfully angry if they caught you scheming around their warnings.

Once again, it seems you’d unknowingly bumped into a road with no end. An endless field of drought with no possible victim to choose from—all efforts for naught. 

No one could understand your frustration. Not your sister, your brother, or your best friend Sumire. Not even that recognizable patch of white hair, walking in the distance, belonging to another friend of yours, the Gojo Heir, could bring you solace…

Wait.

Wait.

Just like that, you were doused with another realization. 

You’ve gone ahead to cut your losses without even considering the slight possibility of a last alternative: one in the shape of someone you considered heavily involved (a fact truthful only in your mind) and in more ways than one, the perfect candidate.

Your answer was always right there, right before you.

Satoru was to be the one that will help you get out of this triviality!

Oh, it’s perfect!! How come you didn’t think of this before?

What better way to understand and experience what marriage was, if it wasn’t through Satoru, the boy that was set to be your sister’s husband? 

He’s bound to know a thing or two about this arrangement, probably even more than your sister since you’ve noticed him to be esteemed in a higher regard compared to her, and more likely than not, he might’ve already had his true love’s first kiss with her, right?

You certainly don’t expect to get the whole know-how from him, but it's still good enough to give you an idea of what to expect. One that will lead you to know when your true love finally comes into your life!

You mentally pat yourself on the back as you bashfully make way towards Satoru, prideful for having resolved this issue without the help of anyone! 

And some even dared to say you were too young to do most things by yourself! Ah, if only they could see you now!

So, with this regained confidence, you enter Satoru’s presence, who was amused by your initiative, as equally concerned upon noticing your sister's absence from your side—the two of you always seemed to be virtually inseparable… were you perhaps baiting him for something worse?

Sensations that would be tossed out the window and replaced with confusion when you finally spoke up your mind.

“A what?” Satoru cynically blurts out while chewing on the bubblegum one of your staff gave him after he obnoxiously let them know he was missing something. 

Growing accustomed to a life of silver spoons, it was only natural that he’d grow expecting everyone to fold at his command without second thoughts. Whatever he wanted, he got it. A very unwarranted outlook for his age, but expected due to his position in the jujutsu community. Taking that into consideration, no one dared say no to him, leading him to be the spoiled kid he is today.

The very reason why he’s not too keen when others attempt to demand stuff from him, just as you’re doing at this very moment.

“A game, marbles!” you repeat, waving the bag in which your recently acquired marbles were—all thanks to your best friend’s mother, the one you often sought after since she rarely questioned your requests— showing just how unaffected you were by his connotation “Play with me, Satoru-kun”

“And why would I do that with a twerp like you?” he smirks, maliciously pinching your nose. Judging the way your eyebrows push together and your lips purse into a pout, he seems to finally get under your skin.

He couldn’t be more wrong though, for your annoyance wasn’t because he insulted you (although the sharp pain you felt for his pinch was not one you could easily ignore), but rather because he was unnecessarily hindering your plans.

“I’m not a twerp” you justify, powering through the pain on your nose “Just play with me pleaseeee” you’d plead with long annoying whines and big round puppy eyes that looked nowhere else but straight into his celestial ones. All foul tactics to highlight your cuteness and have him fold onto your demands “Please please please pleeeeeaaaaaaseeeee”

And if that wasn’t enough, you’d then grab his arm, swinging and tugging at it harshly to emphasize your need for a game companion—the cherry on top to finally irritate Satoru into compliance. 

“Fine, fine!” he huffed, abruptly pulling away from you and retrieving his arm to his side as he begrudgingly agreed to your request, no, demand. 

As if he wasn’t secretly hoping he’d stumble onto someone from your family to distract him from the uneventful afternoon he was fated to have if you hadn’t come to his rescue, but we’re not going to talk about that. “What am I getting in return?”

Satisfaction settles in your core with a smile, as you’ve previously prepared for all kinds of questions. It seems that Satoru is not as smart as he believes himself to think, for he’d unknowingly fallen into your trap.

“I got a gun…a gund—gunda…” Where you once began with great confidence, you were now left to me a stuttering mess at the unprecedented difficulty of the word, much to your disappointment, and to his delight.

You didn’t have to look up to Satoru to sense the devilish smirk on his lips, one that was enough to have you flame up in embarrassment and subsequent reddening, but even then, you knew that your upcoming achievement was worth this small setback.

Always the generous one, you’d let him have this win.

“You mean a mobile Gundam toy?” he chuckles whilst raising an eyebrow. If you didn’t know any better, you’d dare assume he’s attempting to make fun of your stammer by saying the complete name of the toy, without errors and in one take. 

And while one of his main motivations was to take a jab at you, he was far more interested in this sudden turn of events—starting by confirming the existence of this highly sought after toy in your estate.

How did you even manage to get one? Not even he, the great Gojo Satoru, managed to lay his hands on one because… well, because the stupid elders from his clan attempted to punish him for slacking in the last term’s exams. 

It’s not his fault everything came so easily to him and his teacher is too dumb to realize that, wanting him to do things by the book instead of the better, easier way he offered, but whatever, that misstep will soon fall into irrelevance once he beats you and hand him over the toy you got.

Ah, if only he knew you never intended to give him said prize, for you weren’t planning on losing in the first place!

You’d essentially practiced everyday, from dawn to dusk, with your best friend, Sumire. From the moment you woke up, to when it was time to sleep—there was not an hour you didn’t intend to spend it through practice, to the point where she actually began to run away from you as soon as she heard you singing out her name, as if it were some kind of war fanfare, while running towards her with the set of shiny marbles in your hands, signaling the beginning of another session of torture.

Sumire forced herself to be the faster of the two, even with your training in jujutsu, just so she could outrun you. It let you down the first few times that happened, but you eventually learned to take this as your unofficial graduation from training. 

You’ve learned all that you could from her, and it was now time to show the fruits of your efforts.

“Yeah, papa got it for Ren-nii a while ago but he didn’t want it, so I got it” you explain “But I don’t want it”

“Sounds like you want something in return, Y/N-chan” Satoru guessed correctly, and you nod. “Oh, what do you want then? What do you need, that your parents haven’t given you already, spoiled brat?”

“I’ll tell you later” you say, finding his nickname to be a bit ironic, but you don’t give it much thought after that in favor of keeping your eyes on the goal “When I win”

“Hah!” He laughs “We’ll see about that, twerp—Let’s play, then. And maybe this way you can also tell me what if feels like to lose”

You ignore him once more and begin to guide him towards the nearest garden you’ve anticipatedly prepared for this occasion. The one with the small pagoda, away from where the staff usually were, for the two of you to play in privacy’s comfort. Because there’s no way in hell you’d let the moment you’ve been waiting for to be ruined by others!!

The two sit down on wooden floor and you begin to unfold all preparations by taking out the small roll of green string you stole from your mom’s sewing kit and mark a circle on the ground, the designated space where all marbles would have to be pushed out from but without leading the shooter—the marble used by the player— outside. 

An easy instruction to follow, for an even easier game to play, that is, if you took into account the accuracy and precision you required to do so.

In other words, an easy task for you to accomplish thanks to how your cursed technique worked.

Once everything is set and ready to go, you proceed to offer Gojo two of your biggest glass marbles to choose from, one of a transparent color, and the other one a bright aqua. 

Satoru ends up choosing the first, citing his reason for rejection as “It’s like using my eyes, so, no”

You nose wrinkles at the nasty comparison, thinking your life would be infinitely better without this information, before pushing that thought to the deepest part of your mind and grabbing the leftover marble.

“Ladies first” Satoru says, palms against the ground as he rests back into his arms. His eyes aimlessly wandering into the garden, attempting to radiate an aura of indifference towards whatever move you were to make, for he believed he was going to win anyways.

You don’t pay attention to his demeanor, in fact, from this moment forward, you don’t care a single bit about what he’s going to do. Your sole focus is on winning this game and obtaining what you fought hard to obtain, which was your first kiss. You wanted to see what was so great about this gesture, why it was so romanticized in movies, and how that tied with marriage.

You literally won’t be able to sleep until you finally know what it feels like!

So, knuckling down on the ground, you adjust your sights to the shiny red marble that caught your interest moments earlier by seemingly being the best one to push out first, and align your hand into its direction as you close your right eye to get a better look at it.

Pressing your lips together while holding your breath, your thumb grazes over the marble one, two, three times, testing the strength and grip you’ll need to push the marble out of the line but without faulting yourself.

And after you’ve done all the required calculations, you finally take the shot. 

The aqua marble steadily rolls through the ground, passing the rest and bumping into the red marble with a soft clink but with enough force to send it towards the green limit. 

Your chest tightens upon seeing the aqua marble moving alongside the red one, fearing you might’ve shot it a bit harder than necessary, and consequently, pushing it out of the limit.

But your worries vanish into nothing once you see the red marble go over the bump of thread and the shooter stopping just before it can go past the limit. 

You eventually release an exhale of relief, deflating your shoulders to comfortably  relish on the gains of your training via your first victory.

An unexpected result that has Satoru’s attention circling back to you almost immediately upon realizing he might’ve just miscalculated the efforts of a 6 year old.

“Ok” Satoru says once you gestured his turn, readjusting himself into a more appropriate stance before laying his knuckles down to the ground, just as you’ve done, and preparing to take the decisive shot.

It’s easy, he thinks. It’s just like when he’s about to shoot one of his techniques onto the targets before him, this time however, far easier because it’s nothing more than a glass marble, right? An easy task for the talented, powerful, rich and handsome heir of the Gojo clan..

Wrong.

Satoru forgets how different it is to control objects that are out of his authorship.

It’s one thing to create energy and another to control energy.

There’s too many things to consider in the last scenario, too many influences that could easily shift the trajectory of his intentions, just like how the glass projectile was doing so.

And Satoru would’ve known all that, had he put attention on class instead of relying on his natural talent or bragging personality. It wouldn’t take much for him to realize he’d grossly undermined this entire game, as well as your determination to win, as he sees his marble dart past the limit due to exorbitant impulse, and plunging onto one of the bushes near the pagoda’s steps, causing you to silently cheer, once again, for another victory.

The heir of the Gojo clan can’t stop himself from sulking as he stands up to retrieve the marble from inside the bush, gently brushing it against his sweater to dust off any lingering dirt once out and getting back to his previous position.

He lowers himself once more in what seems an attempt to take another shot, but once you catch wind of his intentions, you vehemently object.  

“Hey!” You cry, placing your hand over his to stop him “Not fair! You lost!”

“Nu-uh, that was clearly a mistake” he poorly justifies, moving to the side in hopes to keep you off of him, to no avail for you simply stick to him like glue. “I wasn’t ready! Move!”

“No! The rules say you—you can’t” you stand your ground, slightly raising your voice to present yourself to him as intimidating, authoritarian—things that seemed to catch Satoru off his guard, for you’ve never done so in the past. “Don’t cheat!!”

And not wanting to continue seeing you act so weirdly, he concedes.

“Fine, whatever, have it your way!” He groans, tucking the marble away into one of his pockets and going back to his previous relaxed stance “You’ll lose anyway, I’m just going easy on you”

You don’t indulge him with an answer and the game continues on… with shocking instances.

Each and every turn that you take, you win. In fact, there’s not a single moment where you seem to falter in your winning streak, only adding to Satoru’s rising anxiety—he still can’t believe it! He barely managed to get less than 5 marbles in all the rounds he’s played against you and you… you have more!

Is he really going to lose against a wimpy girl like you?! Has hell frozen over already?!

It has, for at the end of the game, you were holding the largest number of marbles under your name: you won. And Satoru, with irrefutable evidence, is the sore loser.

“Hey, you cheated!” Satoru's first instinct to react upon an unwanted scenario is through defensiveness, damning the situation as much as his vocabulary permits him, as he continues to point fingers at you. “You didn’t play fair and square!”

“No!” You shake your head “I won!”

“Yeah, by cheating!” Satoru goes at it again “I demand a rematch! And with my own marbles, because these were tampered with!”

You tilt your head, brows furrowing as the word tampered bounces back from your vocabulary. But even if he’s spouting words that you don’t seem to understand, it doesn’t affect your feelings of gratification for having won, he can go on forever if he wants, and you’d still be a step closer to your objective.

“Ugh, whatever” Satoru groans as he puts down 6 marbles, the ones he managed to win in the 20-marble match + the one he borrowed from you. He still couldn’t believe that you actually managed to get 18 in a row, without faltering even once, where you possessed or something? Considering that,  could you really blame him for thinking you were cheating?

If there’s one thing that Satoru was glad of, however, was the end of this fiasco. 

Sure, he was a bit sore from losing, and knowing how dramatic he was it would probably take him a while to get over it, but that’s something he’ll manage. 

What he was looking forward to the most was knowing what you wanted from him—and so desperately to actually go beyond your usual behavior to approach him in the first place, for you are always stuck at the side of your family or friends, and win this match with flying colors. 

«You must be really desperate, Y/N-chan» he assumes.

“Well, spit it out” Satoru hurries you upon seeing your lingering gaze on him. “What do you want as a reward?”

“A kiss!”

Satoru chokes.

“What the—”

“No bad words!” you reprimand him mid sentence “I want a kiss”

Ok. Now that… is something he didn’t expect.

Of all things that a kid could ask for… why that? Couldn’t you settle down for a plushie, or toy, like any other kid? Is life at the L/N estate really that boring?

“Why do you want that? Doesn’t your dad dote on you too much already?” Puzzled Satoru, raising an eyebrow.

You don’t answer, for that is something you feel he doesn’t need to know—as well as wanting to avoid the barrage of jokes you know would follow suit.

“Alright” Satoru whispers at your unnerving silence «Y/N must really want that kiss, weird» “Um… now?”

“Yes!” You nod “Please”

So, without much to ask any further, or time to waste, Satoru fixes the collar of his hoodie as he moves closer to you to lean his face closer to yours. He’d usually push you around to do what he wanted, but considering he was the loser in this situation, he’d agreed to give you this consideration, extra recognition for your efforts.

But not without kicking you down a notch.

“Did you brush your teeth?” He asks, and you raise your eyebrows out of surprise.

“Oh I— I didn’t know” you faltered, a red streak crossing your cheeks “Did… I have to?”

The heir of the Gojo clan chuckles “Ah, don’t worry about it, it’s just that you had something on your teeth and I wanted to be sure”

You scrunch your face out of embarrassment, and fulfillment washes over Satoru’s features at the temporary gain of the upper hand.

Yet to complete his side of the bargain, and having enough fun out of your reaction, Satoru decides to move on by closing his eyes and starting to inch closer to your face.

At the notion of being just a few seconds away from experiencing the magical moment you’ve longed for as long as you can remember, you begin to mentally prepare for what’s to happen.

You never knew just how nerve wracking it would be to have someone so close to you as Satoru was at this very moment. You’ve had other people be close to you, your sister, your brother, your parents… and yet, it feels different coming from him.

It’s an overwhelming sensation that has you spontaneously shutting your eyes as your cheeks begin to warm up, followed by the harsh pounding of your heart, culminating in the subtle ring of your ears, giving you the impression that the world is spinning around you—and yet, seems to freeze just for the two of you.

Upon feeling his warmth graze over your lips, you quietly yelp. Testing your shoulders as you prepare yourself to ask what it was, but before you’re able to grimace out of confusion, he kisses you, and now, the world stops.

It’s inundating, suffocating, pulling all of your attention and energy onto the young boy before you, and yet, you felt as if there was no other place you belonged in.

It was warm, like a hug during a cold winter night, but much more personal, intimate, with a tenderness that made you believe he was afraid of hurting you, touching you. And yet, he couldn’t help himself from being pulled into your presence.

You never thought you’d receive this kind of attention from someone else, or ever in your life. But now that you have, you fear you won’t be able to let it go, because it’s a sweet, blossoming feeling that you’re slowly becoming addicted to, one that you wish you could hold on to forever. Is this… true love…?

…

…

…

Or that’s what you imagined how your first kiss would feel, according to the information gathered. Because as soon as his lips landed, no, crashed onto yours, you were abruptly back to reality by replacing your sensation of anticipation with that of  disappointment.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach upon realizing that a first kiss was nothing more than an awkward, rough (and a bit disgusting) peck of two mouths against each other, far away from the endearing picture cinema attempted to sell you. 

You naively even tried to give this gesture a few more seconds, believing that maybe you just needed to wait a bit longer to start feeling all those good things you were promised. But nothing came, and that’s when regret begins to settle in the void where your heart was once you realize that you went through so much, for absolutely nothing. 

Your first kiss turned out to be very, very mediocre, to say the least, a realization that prompts you to pity both yourself, for all of the sacrifices you committed to arrive at this point, and your sister, for she’s the one that has to look forward to being kissed dejectedly –by him no less!— for the rest of her life.

To think you wasted the perfect opportunity to get something far infinitely better out of Satoru, like immeasurable amounts of mochi or perhaps even a new toy, for this… well, this will serve as a lesson to be learned. Parents know best for a reason…

Satoru, completely oblivious to the inner workings of your mind, eventually peels himself away from you, gaze instinctively falling down to yours and onto a sight that has him… flabbergasted.

He really didn’t know what to expect from you, more so after he was surprised by your need for a kiss.

But he certainly did not anticipate to see your face twisted in such a way that he can't define it as nothing else but potent disgust.

"What is up with that face?!" He asks, hoping that by calling you out you'd have the decency to remove that… insulting reaction to his efforts, but far from achieving what he wanted you just twist your lips even more.

"I didn't like it…" you cringed.

"What do you mean you didn't like it?! You're the one who asked for it!"

And you wished he wouldn't remind you of that. But what's done is done, and all that's left is to confront reality.

"Is true love this… bad?" You ask him, and he's taken aback, yet again, by your unforeseen bluntness.

"Huh????" He seethed "True love?? What are you even talking about? That doesn't even exist!"

"Yes it does! Papa said mama is her true love!" You cry back, jumping to defend your parents "... but you kiss bad so I don't think you'll have a true love"

"What?? How would you even know that?!"  Satoru feels himself incapable of keeping up with your weird questions, and your even weirder statements. But two can play this game, and if your intent is to hurt him, then he knows exactly how to do that "You're ugly, and ugly people don't get true love" he'd start, enunciating the last part in a cheerful yet silly matter, as if to mock your naivety.

"I'm not ugly!" You'd retaliate "you're ugly! Nee-san deserves better"

Satoru's eye twitches.

"I let you win!"

"No, you didn't! I won fairly!" You say, showing off your gained marbles. "You're a bad loser!"

"Digimon is better than Pokémon!"

“No it's not!" You stick your tongue out "Silly!"

"Annoying!"

"Silly!!"

"Annoying!"

"Silly!!"

"Y/N-chaaaan!!" 

The two go immediately quiet upon hearing the foreign feminine voice sounding at the distance.

"Y/N-chaaaan!!” she calls again, this time, closer “Where are you? It's time for lunch!!"

Both heads now turn towards the directions of the voice, curiously attempting to figure out who was the one responsible before your calling.

"Y/N-chan!" Another voice yelled, much younger and much shriller compared to the other. Factors that pass undetected for Satoru, but all too recognizable for you.

It was Sumire, alongside her mother, looking for you by scanning through every passing room, in hopes of catching a glimpse of you. 

Too enthralled in your own schemes, you'd unknowingly lost track of time. You didn't even notice it was already past 3 PM, half an hour later than the time you usually have lunch, leading your absence to be worried and subsequently concerned for, because if they weren’t, why would they be looking for you?

"I have to go" you  mutter quickly, turning around to pick up your things from the ground and stash them into your pockets "Goodbye Sato-kun!!"

"Wait, Y/N!" He'd shout while attempting to reach for you, for he felt there was still so much to discuss before you left! 

But before he's able to stretch his arm and grasp you into place, you're already making your way towards the relieved mother—daughter duo, chirping on how hungry you suddenly realized to be, before fading into the many halls and rooms of the estate

And all that Satoru can do is continue to stare at your general direction, way more astonished than he was at the beginning of all this… deception, leaving him with an ocean with answerless questions and a turmoil of emotions that's bound to torment him for the rest of the day—and with time, you.

It’s often said that time is the greatest healer when it comes to matters of the heart, and fortunately you, this statement couldn’t be any more truthful.

As days went by, this small kissing incident began to hold little to no relevance in your life. Whether because you were back in school, hanging out with your friends, or partaking in the training you were obliged to perform once your technique was discovered—the truth was that you rarely found yourself pondering back on this icky situation. 

Well, why would you? It’s not something that you liked. At all. You even began to watch romantic movies with slight skepticism. 

The only couple that preserved part of your admiration were your parents, because they were different of course, considering they were always loving and caring towards you and your siblings, as well as with one another, so you deemed it unnecessary to worry about them suffering the same dullness you did when they kissed—a decision that was greatly influenced by your love for them as well, and your mind wasn’t about to break that beautiful bond.

But Satoru was… complicated. You tried to reason as to why he’d been so bad at what he did, but a quick trip down memory lane would help you obtain the answers you needed: there’s a reason as to why your siblings didn’t like him that much, and why your father seemed to be uneasy whenever he had to go to the Gojo estate. You didn’t really get any of these signs at first, but now that you experienced it first hand, you understood everything.

Did you hold the same dislike towards him as your siblings did? No, you still liked having him around from time to time. When he wasn’t annoying, he could be quite entertaining. 

Did you think that maybe, your outcome would’ve been different if it was someone they liked? Probably so. 

Will you seek out another kiss? Hell no. That’s something you wished to never experience again—it was icky, awkward, and a bit rough if you were being completely honest. 

So with that conclusion, you decide to put matters to rest once and for all.

But just as you were more than ready to place your attention on more important matters, move on from this situation onto something better… there was someone that couldn’t force himself to do so: Satoru.

To him, the other party involved in your unexpected schemes, things were barely starting.

While you were getting ready to receive what tomorrow brought, either through your family or friends, Satoru found himself in a tighter spot than you cared to ponder. 

To him, time didn’t serve as a cure to his problems, if anything, it only highlighted them.

There was a burning sensation settling deep inside of his core, something that… irked him, irritated him, whenever he saw you carefree towards your surroundings—towards him. 

The oath you and Satoru silently took to avoid speaking of this matter wasn’t what bothered him, if anything, he was in full agreement to carry it out, for he didn’t want to deal with the gossip that might come with it, less your father’s anger: he already had enough of it with Hinata, he didn’t need more added on his plate through you.

But it was never stipulated that you’d ignore him too!

It seemed that his narcissistic need to have all attention on him was starting to rebel against your actions and his emotions. He just… wasn’t used to being used like this, people getting things out of him, and then being discarded!

It was always the other way around, and that’s how it’s going to be, for the rest of his life until he dies!

Oh, how cruel you’d been to just neglect him like that.

So, with his mind set onto a new course of action, he decided to make his move one day hew knew you to be alone and stored away in one of the studio's your parents had set up for you and your siblings to do homework after school, intending to remind you of the crimes you’ve committed against him.

“Ahem, Y/N-chan” Satoru would begin, clearing his throat as he leaned against the frame of the door, to catch your attention. It’s made through such a discernible way that leads you to lift your head away from the notebooks before you and up to him, confusedly staring back at him as you wondered why he was there, instead of training with your sister.

Was he perhaps… sick?

“Hi… Satoru-kun” you respond, a subtle pout on your lips as you make out the frown on his face. “Are you ok?”

Your question, although innocent, only serves to ignite another wave of irritation towards your apparent obliviousness.

“What do you mean if I’m ok?” He chided “You really don’t know what you’ve done, do you?”

You blink, if you were somewhat confused, you were now undeniably puzzled.

“What do you mean?” You say, instinctively looking back down at your homework “Did I do something wrong?” Kanji has never been your strength, but you didn’t really think you were doing that bad, less for him to identify as soon as he entered the room!

“What?! No!” he snapped “I’m not talking about that!”

“Then… what?” you tilt your head, and he rolls his eyes. Guess he needs to spell it out for you, after all.

“Don’t act dumb! Why are you ignoring me after kissing me?? Do you know how irresponsible it is for you to act that way?” He’d revealed, but your mind stopped listening to his words after he apparently insulted you.

“I’m not dumb” You frown “No bad words!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, language—whatever ” He rolled his eyes. The no bad words policy in your house was somewhat annoying, more so when he didn’t have that restriction back at his estate, but it’s something he’s able to digest if it meant getting what he wanted from you. “Still not good enough, Y/N. You can’t go around doing bad things and not being responsible about them!”

“What did I do wrong??” you fretted, his words pushing you to fear the worst “I’m not ignoring you…”

“You kissed me! And you then acted as if nothing ever happened!” He repeats, feeling fulfilled for finally cornering you where he wanted… only to see your face twist into confusion, yet again, for his nonsensical banter.

“But I didn’t like it” you carefully remind him “You kiss badly”

“That’s not—we’re not going to discuss that!” Satoru exclaims, surprisingly…. Offended for someone who didn’t want to kiss you in the first place. “Do you know how bad it would look if I told your elders you were being irresponsible with me? Hina-chan would be very disappointed…”

He attempts to coerce you, but having known Hinata way better than him, it doesn’t work.

“No, she won’t” you dismiss his claim almost immediately “Nee-san always tells me she’s proud of me!”

Satoru rolls his eyes, again. He clearly misunderstood the kind of relationship you had with her, he should’ve expected it though, you were always stuck to her side like some kind of leech…

“Then nii-chan will” he attempted to avow, but you didn’t react.

“Nii-chan doesn’t like you” you add nonchalantly and Satoru feels personally attacked by this sudden revelation. He was aware that Ren avoided him more than not, but he never thought he actually disliked him!

“You don’t know what you’re saying!” He says, attempting to protect whatever dignity he has left. Gosh, have you always been this oblivious?? “Then your dad will! Because dads don’t like when their daughters hurt other people! And you don’t want to see him sad, do you?”

At the notion of facing the dreadful scenario you have undergone in the past, you finally succumb to his trap.

“No… I don’t” you murmur, briefly looking down to the floor before glancing up to him “I don’t want papa to be sad at me…”

“Then do as I say and you’ll be out of trouble” Satoru advises, holding back a grin from parting his lips at his newfound victory in the shape of your saddening eyes and pout “Now, don’t be sad Y/N-chan! I’ll forgive you for avoiding me” he attempts to console you by patting your head, all with a deceiving nature of course. “That way, otou-san won’t be sad either!”

“But I’m not—” you proceed to explain by moving away from his hand, but your efforts are for naught for he overpowers you by keeping you put.

“I knew you’d come around!” he says, proceeding to roughly shuffle the top of your head until your hair looks something like a bird’s nest, much to your annoyance.

You thread your fingers in your hair in an attempt to place them back into place, but just as you’re about to speak out against his unwanted gesture, the distant voice of your sister snaps both your attention and his onto the hallway.

Satoru, already envisioning the type of fractious reaction Hinata is going to have once she sees you with him, decides to run away.

“Uh, see you around Y/N! Keep doing your homework, you’re doing great by the way!” He bids farewell and makes his way back out through the door, fast enough to stop you from responding, but not enough to avoid bumping into Hinata, who had gotten there earlier than he anticipated thanks to the eagerness she had for showing you the all new things she learned while training, which prompted her to run towards you as soon as she was dismissed.

An enthusiasm that disappeared as soon as she laid eyes on Satoru, replacing her cheerful features with a nasty scowl once realizing what went on.

“Why were you there, furby?!” she yelps, stomping her way to Satoru. It is almost amusing to see how the boy that considered himself to be a god amongst mortals fell to your sister's intimidation within seconds of seeing her.

“Gee, I wasn’t doing anything!” He whines, darting away from your sister before she’s able to land her hand against his arm “Ha! You missed!”

“What was that?” Hinata retorted, and Satoru chuckled.

“No! Nothing of course! Maybe you should be more concerned about taking a shower, you stink!” He’d proceed to snicker, pinching his nose to theatrically annoy her even more.

“I just finished training!” she argued back “You’d know if you took your job seriously”

Satoru groans. Hinata had always been stuck up that way—job, work, responsibility, those were her usual catchphrases. Why couldn’t she let loose once in a while and enjoy her life?

“Yeah whatever, smelly” he waves his hand, dismissing her “Anyways, goodbye! See you later, Hinata! Oh, and Y/N… be sure to remind your sister to take a shower!”

Hinata sees him off while shooting a barrage of mocking nicknames at his back until he’s finally out of his sight. It’s only until then that she decides to turn around and see you, the frown on her features disappearing as soon as she sees your focused intent to the homework in front.

“Are you almost done, imouto-chan?” she says, making her way to your side and sitting besides you. “I hope Satoru didn’t distract you that much”

“No, he didn’t” you say, somewhat truthfully, as your eyes remain glued to the papers on the table.

Hinata sighs “You can tell me if he bothers you! He’s always so annoying, he thinks that because he doesn’t have anything to do everyone else is the same! He’s the most irresponsible boy I have ever met! Luckily, Ren-nii is not like that”

“Yeah… he’s not”

“... Are you sure Satoru didn’t say anything to you?”

He did.

However… you weren’t about to tell her that, not when Satoru basically blackmailed you into doing whatever he wanted if you didn’t want to make your dad sad. And keeping this conversation between the two was one of those requirements.

So, holding your word, you shake your head.

“No” you say “He just wanted to play with someone since you weren’t here”

“Oh, really?” Hinata tilts her head to the side, somewhat… confused, because the instructor had told her that Satoru was to skip practice because he was sick. Just to show what a deceitful little boy he is. “Well, if you say so”

And with that situation appropriately dealt with, Hinata can finally move onto another subject that has her equally concerned.

“...Do you… think I smell?” she asked, discreetly moving her head towards her armpits and sniffing them.

Satoru might’ve forced you to keep silent about their conversation, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t be truthful on everything that happened afterwards.

And thus, with a toothy grin, you chortled.

“Yes!”

Had you known that striking that deal with Satoru corresponded to making a deal with the devil itself, you would’ve fought harder to reject him.

Because from that very day forward, he started treating you as some kind of errand girl. Wherever he went, you were expected to follow suit. If he wanted something, like a drink or a snack, you were also the one to bring it to him. But if you attempted to sneak away from his requests, he was quick to remind you just how improper you’ve been towards him and how disappointed your father would be if he ever got word of it.

So, you were quickly put back in your place, much to your regret and Sumire’s, who had begun to miss your presence.

Oh, if you could only go back in time and listen to your parents…

But even then, having to work for him wasn’t as insufferable as he was when speaking of the rest.

Because forcing you to tag along behind him wasn’t enough, he also had to have fun out of your reactions.

He’d start by scaring you with what currently was your biggest ick, himself.

“You know, if you want to get better at kissing we just have to continue practicing!”

You’d grimace your face in a combination of fear and disgust—Satoru, having overcome the offense your reaction initially gave him, only laughed.

He’d later move on to another one of your fears, facing the elders themselves.

“The elders wouldn’t like to hear you kiss me when I’m going to be your sister’s husband!”

“...What do you mean?” you dared to ask.

“We have to get married, Y/N! It’s only fair to cover the adultery we committed”

You didn’t even want to know what he meant by that—it sounded bad by itself, you don’t want to traumatize yourself even further.

“No, I don’t want to marry you” you huffed, finding the idea ludicrous, while Satoru is having the time of his life at your expense.

And that had basically been the conditions of your existence, that is, until he began to approach your limit.

You were capable of tolerating his tedious requests, his annoying insistences, even the secrecy you hated to have with your siblings, all to keep your family content—to a certain point.

But there had to be a limit to his villainy, and if he didn’t have one, you certainly did.

And that limit took the form of a bad joke, one that cut a bit too close to your heart, and the one that pushed you to break all inhibitions and let him have it.

“Now that I think about it, Y/N-chan, I don’t think anyone else will have you once they know you kissed me. I mean, you basically kissed me knowing I was engaged to your sister, and that’s a crime in many districts! But I’ll marry you, so don’t worr—”

The sound of glass crashing against the floor cuts him abruptly.

“What was that?” he asks, lifting his gaze from the comic book he was reading and onto your direction, leading him to eventually find glass shards gathering near your feet. “Oh, silly Y/N, you gotta be careful with—”

“Why are you being so annoying, Satoru?!” you say, turning around to face him without care if you hurt your feet with one of the sharp glass shards on the floor “That was going too far!”

“Gee, that was only a joke!” He frets, lifting up from his seat and making his way towards you. He hopes to move you away from the lingering danger on your feet by placing his hands over your shoulders, but you,  who had reached your limit and past it, could only see red as you shoved him away “Hey!”

“I’m done with you!” you raged, no longer wanting to entertain his idiocy. “I did everything you wanted, heard you say stupid things every day… but I won’t let you say that!”

He blinks, he’s never seen this kind of anger coming from you, or anyone for that matter. Not even Hinata, who he considered to be the most hot-blooded woman he’s ever met in his life, reached your parameters.

And it’s safe to say, he doesn’t like it. Not one bit

“Ok, I may have messed up a bit there” Satoru says, feeling somewhat guilty by the way you reacted. “But you don’t have to get all—”

“I don’t care!” you cry, stomping your feet against the wooden floor “You’re too rude towards me! Why?? What did I even do to you??”

And Satoru flinches at the introspective question thrown at him.

That was a good question. Why did Satoru start this spectacle to begin with? Why did he have a hard time moving on from this, compared to you? Why did he seem to latch onto this, more than anyone else would’ve probably done?

Well, that’s easy.

Because just like you, that was also his first kiss.

It’s something that he always envisioned to be somewhat… mundane, having long accepted that it would happen with your sister at one point in his life, just how all things seemed to be with him through the jujutsu community.

But when you came along with that outrageous proposal, a ray of hope for something different began to part the gray clouds of his horizon, thus, he was quick to accept it.

To see you discard it so easily and without consideration as to how he felt, however, it pained him. It gave him the impression that, just as the other people around him, you simply used him to get what you wanted and nothing more

He had yet to understand you were nothing more than a child, things like taking advantage of him, or discarding him with malicious intent, were out of your possibilities. 

But being forced to see the world differently from a very young age, he’d forgotten what it is to be a child. So, he attempts to seek comfort in the only way he’s ever known how to: gaining control over the situation, by all means necessary.

Which leads him to resort to his last option upon seeing you slipping through his fingers, an attack that has proven to be hurtful to you in the past, and would undoubtedly set you back on track:

“I’ll tell your dad if you—”

“I don’t care!” you bite back, no longer afraid once your patience ran out, much to his unwanted surprise. “Tell him, papa doesn’t like you anyways!”

And for the second time in his life, you manage to freeze him on the spot.

He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe those words came from your mouth. Did you really mean that? Did you really mean to renounce the promise you made with him and… walk away? And most of all… did you really not care for him?

Yes. Yes you didn’t. Doubling down on that statement when you essentially disappeared from his sights.

You were no longer entertaining him, not interested in playing his stupid games and he had to face this new reality. Less when he hurt you. That was now his problem, not yours.

Satoru no longer had a place in your mind, not when you needed to worry about him telling your dad about what you did with him—the mere thought of seeing your overprotective father fretting about your mistakes was enough to ignite terror within you, but even then, that worries were to be for naught, for the Gojo heir wasn’t stupid enough to actually telling him—nor would he actually believe him.

He already knew how scary Eiichi could be when prompted. And while he had yet to see your mother angry, he didn’t want to risk it either, so he’ll keep quiet.

But that isn’t the end of his problems, if anything, they just got worse. 

He’d gone too far up his own head, that he failed to realize he was starting to lose self control when treating you: from asking you to do things for him, to mocking you, he now pushed you so far away from him, that you might never come back.

It’s a regretful outcome, but yet… perhaps out of comfort to himself and previous experiences, still be salvageable. He couldn’t… Well, he couldn’t lose his errand girl!!

That’s it. 

He’ll wait… he’ll be patient for you to cool down as well, and you’ll eventually come around to him, right? You can’t possibly ignore him for the rest of his life, more so when he’s bound to marry your sister…

But as the days passed, far from obtaining what he wanted, it only seemed to give you what you wanted instead: which was his complete absence, as well as time with your friends.

It wouldn’t take long for him to notice that you were now, truly, ignoring him completely. You didn’t even bother to greet him when he came to visit the estate, or vice versa, only doing so whenever your parents were present because they asked you!!

Oh, he had truly messed up, big time. And how is he going to fix all this? By the only way he knows, of course—through meek and confusing attempts! 

Because it was hard for the holder of the six-eyes, who had never been expected to be kind or prudent to others, to open up his heart and truthfully admit how sorry he was for having treating you as badly as he did, as well as hoping to regain his friendship with you, after all, you were the only one that seemed genuinely happy to see him whenever he was around.

So, wanting to make things better, the first thing that he would do to grab your attention was hide away your favorite cup, the one the staff would always use to serve your drinks during lunch.

He’d committed the deed one moment the servants focused on completing other tasks. He took advantage of the slightest window provided by their distraction and swooped in to kidnap your cup, silently and without anyone to notice him.

Your reaction was of no surprise: you were rightfully upset upon noticing the absence of the Pikachu cup —a gift from your brother— growing more and more concerned after one of the staff members tells you they can’t find it. 

It was also unusual, to say the least, because they were meticulous enough to place it back in the same spot, just besides your siblings and parent’s cups, every day after use. They virtually turned the whole state around in efforts to find it, and yet, it was nowhere to be found!

Did you perhaps take it to your room and forgot to bring it back? Or did you take it to school and you just didn’t remember?

Well, it was somewhere. Just not under your domain, more precisely, under Satoru’s… in his room back at the Gojo estate.

But even with his careful strategy, you still failed to connect two and two together. Well, it’s not like he signed the crime scene for you to figure out, thus, after seeing no results, he moved onto the next step of his plan.

The second thing he would do, and the one that finally got you to place your sights on him, was another kidnapping. This time, a higher value target: your favorite plushie.

The small green colored frog previously noted by your father to be the focus of your infatuation, the same one your parents gave you after going on holiday.

He repeated the same steps to attack, waiting patiently for the right window to open, this time of your unawareness, to sneak into your room and get the plush out from your bed and hide it away.

After that was done, it was only a matter of hours for you to come back home from school to see the atrocious act committed in the crime scene that was your bedroom. 

When your cries became apparent throughout the whole estate, he knew his plan to effectively be in motion

“Mamaaaa!!” You’d wail, frenziedly running to your mother and crashing into her arms as soon as you found her “Maamaaaaa” you’d continue to sob, pressing your face against her legs as she quickly lowered down to your level and cupped your face.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?! Why are you crying??”

“My—my frog…. It’s gone…!”

“Frog…?” Minako carefully repeats, trying to point out which plushie you were referring to specifically since you had a mountain of them.

“The green one mama!” you’d remind her, tugging at her sleeve “The one you and papa got for me on… on….”

“The green…—Oh!” She gasps, enlightenment filling her mind “The one we got when we went to visit grandma and grandpa?”

You hum in response.

“Oh, did you search well? It must be in your room… unless there’s a chance you took it to school?”

“I didn’t take it!” You cry back while rubbing your tears away. Minako softly intertwines her fingers with yours upon seeing your motions becoming a bit too rough against your skin, taking the task of wiping your sadness away for herself. “It was in my room, but I came back and it wasn’t there….”

“Have you asked the staff? They sometimes confuse your toys with those of your siblings…” She attempts to reassure you, but too deep in the sorrow of your froggy’s absence, you can’t help but yelp in despair yet again.

“No! Hina-nee doesn’t have it, or Ren-nii! ” You diminish her suggestion, having already gone through this trial beforehand. Your siblings were just as baffled as you were upon hearing the sudden disappearance of your sudden toy, but still remained oblivious to the culprit behind it.

“That’s odd… are you sure you checked everywhere in your room? Or how about Sumire-chan? Maybe she borrowed it!”

“No, she doesn’t have it either…” Sumire would’ve let you know the moment she saw it if that was the case. Or her mother for that matter.

“Ah, well, I’ll ask around the staff if they haven’t seen it, but if we can’t find it we can always buy another one…”

And yet, the solution of getting another one didn’t feel as comforting as Minako would’ve wanted. The mere thought of having to replace froggy, your beloved green amphibian which you were virtually inseparable from, brought you such excruciating pain that you just had to let her know you weren’t about to give up on this search.

“Little one, please don’t cry… Maybe the reason you haven’t found froggy is because he went back to his family, you know there’s not a lot of frogs here, maybe he was feeling lonely” Minako’s slight desperation and concern prompted her to create a rather… fictitious alternative. And while this was something she didn’t actively prompt… What parent hasn’t told a little white lie to their kids?

And you do seem to consider her explanation, even if for a quick second, somewhat agreeing with your mother now that you remember you didn’t didn’t have any other frogs outside of froggy himself, so it was only natural that he felt lonely and went to search his—

No! That never seemed to be a problem for you before! Froggy was always happy to tag along in your adventures, it’s only after things started to get weird around you that this happened!

Meaning… someone was intentionally messing with you, and if you consider past successions, there’s only one person that could fit that category!

“No, Mama! Someone took froggy away! And I know who did it!”

“That’s quite the accusation, little one, why don’t we start by aski—”

“Is this the frog you were looking for?” A voice suddenly cuts through your mother’s words. Soft, indicating the young age of the speaker, but direct and confident, enough to snap your and your mom’s attention onto its direction.

Low and behold, standing just by the door frame, appeared the familiar figure of the white haired boy famously known as the strongest sorcerer, the heir of the Gojo clan. 

Hands behind his back, and the sunset glowing from right behind him, it made him look like some kind of saint coming down from the heavens to your rescue, as if he weren’t the one responsible for all your hardships.

“Satoru-kun!” Your mother would greet, a smile on her face as she waved at him “How are you? I wasn’t expecting you to be here after school, hoping to stay the night? If so, let me get a room ready”

You were more than ready to voice your aversion, but he won you at it.

“Oh, no, thank you. I just wanted to visit, okaa-san” Satoru explains as he begins to move closer to the pair while diligently keeping his arms behind him. His commitment to remain in such a pose inadvertently raises your assumptions to a never seen before level, one that makes you feel indescribably rage towards him. “But on my way here, I found this at the gardens''

He proceeds to reveal the object behind his back, and when the sight of his “surprise” stepped into your view, your beliefs were finally set in stone.

“Oh look, pumpkin!” Minako exclaimed, gesturing towards the plushie. She hoped that by hyping the return of your plushie your sorrow would disappear, letting your cheerful nature take over and ultimately, celebrate its reunion. 

She knew you well enough to assume so, and you’d probably would’ve as she anticipated, down to the smallest details, had you not known all that transpired beforehand “It’s froggy! I knew it couldn’t be lost”

Satoru hands you over the stuffed frog, and with that, his intentions to communicate with you. But far from interpreting it as a symbolic white flag to put a stop to this senseless conflict between the two, you took it as another declaration of war.

“What do we say, baby?” Minako says after seeing you reach out for the frog and pulling it close to you—all while in complete silence. 

You wanted to beg her not to force you to do so and reveal that he’d been the one responsible for froggy’s disappearance (and your cup as well). But knowing your mother to be completely charmed by Satoru’s deceitful act, and probably giving you a slight scolding for accusing him without evidence, you begrudgingly relent to doing as she asked.

“...Thank you, Satoru” you grumbled, carefully to not earn your mother’s discontent, but seemingly clear enough for him to get the idea—removing all honorifics to enunciate just how upset you remained with him.

And get the idea he does, and while it slightly annoys him, it’s not enough to have him give up on you.

“You’re welcome!” Satoru bows, and you hold back the nauseating urge to stick your tongue out. “I’m going to stick around for a while if you want to play! Probably not too long since my parents don’t like me staying out too late” It’s his way to tell you I want to talk, but you’re not buying it. Not one bit.

“Oh, well, if you end up wanting to stay, I can call your parents” your mom suggested, but he simply shook his head.

“Nah, it’s fine. Thank you though” He smiles, bidding farewell with another nod “See you around, Y/N-chan! 

And he kept his word, mainly through your mother’s insistence of appreciation, but this time, you weren’t going to be careless. The days of ignoring Satoru were officially gone.

This time, you were going to act.

Knowing well that you had to be careful in who you trusted, and to keep your ideas to yourself if you were to maintain the element of surprise, you sought out the only person you considered to be trustworthy enough to reveal your plans.

The one that has stuck with you through highs and lows, and the one you’d give your life for! (quite dramatic for a 6 year old)

Away from the blood ties of your family, you referred to your best friend: Sumire. 

Having virtually grown alongside you, the kind of relationship that grew between the two was of complete trust—no secrets. Meaning that as soon as she knew of your intentions, she was more than willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary to achieve your goal.

Her decision was partially influenced by her own emotions, for she too was angry at him: he’d essentially plucked you away from her when he coerced you into obeying all of his commands, and it was indisputable that you were absolutely miserable for it!

Sumire could never forget the sorrowful look on your face as you followed him around—and he’ll never forgive him!

So, during one late Friday night, underneath the covers of your futon and through hushed whispers, planning began.

“Chumi-chan, we need to do something about Satoru!” You’d begin, laying down on your futon and besides Sumire.

“Count me in!” She replied, mirroring the fiery determination in your eyes as she turned around to rest on her stomach and inch closer to you “Should we dye his hair black??”

“No, that’s too much!” you chuckle, shaking your head. It was tempting, but too radical. “Maybe another time”

“Hmmm… then what? Can you steal something from him?”

“...Like what?”

“His toys! All of them! And then he’ll know not to mess with us!”

“No, Chumi… How am I going to do that? He’s going to know it’s me if I do the same…” you needed to be extra careful, not taking chances this time. “I want something different!”

“Then what?” Sumire ponders defeatedly, who would’ve known plotting revenge could be so hard?

“I don’t know…” you groan, plunging your head against the pillow beneath you. “He’s so dumb! And all for a stupid kiss!!”

“Poor Hina-chan…” Sumire sighs, pitying your sister, who’s bound to spend the rest of his life with him, as she pats your back. “Why don’t you tell your parents? He’ll listen to them!”

“No… papa is going to get angry at me…” you remind her—this all started because you disobeyed them… and you don’t want to deal with their disappointment on top of Satoru’s insane antics. Oh, and if this made way to the elders… you shivered at the thought.

“How about your nii-san? Or Hina-chan instead!” your friend continued to suggest, but they were equally fruitless solutions. 

“No! I can’t tell nee-chan or nii-san! They’re going to tell everyone after being angry with me! You’re the only one I trust, Chumi” you yelp as you lift your head from the pillow and stare right into her eyes “Promise me you’ll keep this a secret! No one must know what we’re planning!”

“I promise” Sumire nods, extending her little finger to you and intertwining them “But… then… what are we going to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know” you sigh, stopping mid-way as a yawn escapes your lips, serving as a reflection of how tired this prolonged ordeal had you. “I hate this”

Sumire frowns. She certainly doesn’t like seeing Satoru being insufferable towards you and the hold he seemingly has over you, but if there’s something that she dislikes the most, it’s the absence of the fun and funny side of her best friend.

So, wanting to indulge in the good ol’ days, she proposes a temporary distraction.

“How about we watch a movie?” She’d say, pushing herself up from the futon and running towards her bag, the one her mother had filled with clothes and a few extra things to aid her stay at the L/N estate, amongst them, entertainment. After a few seconds of scrambling through her belongings, she pulls out a box “Mama got me this one!”

It’s a brand new VHS, the cover art revealing it to be Disney’s Peter Pan.

“Oooh, I haven’t seen that one!” You marvel, excitement in your eyes as you cheer on “Let’s watch it!!”

She agrees by moving towards the TV, already plugged to a VHS player, and sticks the cassette into the entry slot. Sumire grabs the controller and heads back to your side.

You adjusted the pillows in a specific way so you can both laydown comfortably on the futon, but still be able to see the movie. 

And so, after a few commercials and a title card the movie starts. 

However, the girls are unable to finish the movie, for drowsiness begins to settle in their small eyes when the protagonists travel for the first time to Neverland, skipping the entirety of the sequence when the lost boys shoot Wendy down from the sky, only to open them at the mermaid scene.

Sumire briefly regains consciousness when this sequence appears on screen, arising to her as some kind of inspiration for your Gojo problem, but just before she’s able to turn around and tell you that she’s found a cure to all your illnesses, she falls asleep again.

Wanting to obtain a solution as quickly and secretly as possible, you and Sumire began to drill each other with all kinds of options to enact revenge on the wrongdoer Satoru. 

From the very moment you’d wake up by the sun hitting your eyes, she’d search for you to tell you just about any new idea that crossed her mind—which were many, but unfortunately, none of them were good enough to fill the necessary requirements. 

It was just… not enigmatic enough, not impactful enough, not… good enough.

Being as young as the girls were, it often meant there were little to no tools to use in to their advantage without getting in trouble themselves: and while sitting down with Satoru and talk would be the easiest, most efficient way to put and end to this struggle, you were still grieving by his betraying words. 

No 6 year old deserved to be told that no one would care for them just because of a simple mistake they made out of curiosity—what were his intentions anyways? Did he find joy in making you sad? Making you feel less? Well, whatever his reasoning, you refused to forgive him so easily.

Both girls were really at the disadvantage here. No matter where they looked, no matter what they said, they just continued to bump into dead ends. 

A predicament that began to take a toll on both, but more so on Sumire, who upon feeling the continuing weight of your sorrow on her shoulders, made her feel that she wasn’t doing good enough.

And so, she began to get more and more frustrated by each passing day, starting to exert such feelings through her chores, her mood, and inadvertently… to her concerned mother.

“How was school today?” Ayaka, Sumire’s mother, would ask her daughter, just as she always did, as soon as she crossed the gates of the L/N estate and made her way to her.

From there, the two would exchange hugs and kisses, before she’d lead her towards her bedroom, intending to change her into more comfortable clothes before sending her off to get dinner.

Her mother labeled these moments as her favorite part of the day—the simplicity of spending time with her daughter, who wouldn't take much longer to start rambling about all the fun things she did at school once she asked that question, brought her pure happiness.

Unfortunately, it had been a while since Sumire had the energy to partake in the recollections of the day, too focused on helping you out and the frustration her powerlessness brought her—instead, she remained silent.

Ayaka had noticed this change of behavior from her for a while now, but she didn’t really think much of it at first. She believed Sumire to be having a bad day, and once she slept it off, she’d be back to the usual  cheery demeanor she always carried.

However, it had become alarmingly clear that there was something far deeper than Sumire let on, and Ayaka, unable to see her daughter acting tepidly any longer, decided to finally act.

“Chumi, what’s wrong?” She’d ask, helping her daughter out of her school uniform by lifting her arms, with her obliging rather… half-heartedly. “Did you get in trouble?”

“No, never mama” Sumire responded, lowering her arms once the shirt was off.

“Then what is it?” She tries again “Are you upset with Y/N?”

Ayaka can’t think of anything else that could’ve affected her as much as that. It’s something of an uncommon occurrence, oh, but when it happens… It's as if the world were ending for both girls.

“No!” Her daughter cries, and by judging her daughter's tone, Ayaka feels like you were indeed the reason behind her concern.

“Is it something about Y/N?”

“...No”

Bingo.

“Sumire, you know you can trust me with anything” the mother coos as she dresses her daughter with another shirt and a warm sweater “I've noticed for a while that you seem rather… aloof, quiet. And as your mother, I can’t help but worry…”

“I’m sorry mama” She sighs, leaning into her mother’s chest for an embrace, which she all too happily obligated “I didn’t mean to worry you! But I promised not to tell Y/N and I want to help her get revenge!”

“Revenge?” Ayaka blinks, and Sumire mentally chastises herself for talking too much.

“Nothing!” The young child yelps, attempting to diffuse the situation by moving onto the removal of her skirt.

“Sumire…” she warns, and the girl concedes soon after.

“...Ok mama! I’ll tell you, but don’t tell anyone ok?!” And without suppression, Sumire reveals your intentions “It all started because Y/N-chan wanted to know why Hinata-chan was getting married and not her! But nobody wanted to tell her so she went with Ren-kun, but he didn’t know either so he put her to see movies, and then Y/N-chan saw that maybe if she got kissed she would know about it! And because nobody wanted to help her, she started to plan how to get a kiss, but her otou-san wasn’t going to let her, so she kept it a secret, but not from me because I’m her best friend in the whole wide world! So she decided to—”

“Wait, wait, waitwaitwaitwait, hold on there, Chumi” Ayaka weakly chuckles, gesturing her to slow down by raising her hands “Kiss? Y/N wanted a kiss?”

“Yes!” Sumire whines, slightly frustrated that her mom wouldn’t understand the clearness of it all. But could anyone blame Ayaka? “Can I continue…?”

“Oh, yes, of course” Her mother nods, wanting to hear more about this… curious revelation. She was effectively amused the same way she was intrigued—who knew Eiichi’s and Minako’s kids would turn out to be so… witty? “What happened after that?”

“Y/N-chan got a kiss from Satoru, but she didn’t like it so he told him, so he decided to make her his errand girl! But he was really mean to her… so Y/N-chan left him and now he wont stop being annoying!”

“Wait, Sumire!” Ayaka gasps, amusement out the window upon realizing your determination pushed you to actually obtain what you wanted, and from someone important no less, the heir of the Gojo clan, your sister’s future husband!. 

It’s only now that the woman realizes just the kind of trouble both girls got themselves in, specifically, if Eiichi got to hear about this… “Satoru? Gojo-sama??”

“You’re not listening to me!” She pouts, crossing her arms “And he doesn’t deserve to be called sama, he’s a jerk!”

“Sumire, don’t say that” Ayaka corrects and the girl sheepishly apologizes. “So… that’s the reason why you want to help Y/N? To get back at him because he won’t stop… annoying her?”

“Yes mama! And now that I told you, you can help us too!” Sumire concludes “Y/N-chan says that I shouldn’t tell the adults because they’re going to tell on her” 

«And with good reason…» Ayaka ponders.

“But you’re different, because you’re my mama and I can trust you!”

“I… think you should sit this one out, baby” She carefully advises “Why not let her parents handle it? It shouldn’t have been a secret to begin with…”

“No! You have to promise not to tell them!” Sumire cries “Or they’ll get angry with Y/N-chan, and she’ll know it was me, and then she’ll get angry with me!!”

Ayaka wishes to comfort her daughter by two easy steps:

Firstly, she doubts you’ll ever be angry with her, at least in the way she’s imagining. Or at all…

Secondly, by telling her that your parents—Eiichi specifically—will be far angrier with Satoru than you, at least from what she’s been able to assume, because he’s the oldest and therefore, he should’ve known better. However, she doesn’t consider it appropriate to rattle whatever little authority he has before the kids left after these revelations 

So, she bites the bullet—but not without setting her daughter back on the right track.

“Ok, alright, baby. I promise I won’t tell. But in turn, promise me that you’ll tell Y/N to talk with her parents—It’s not good to keep secrets from parents, communication is always the best solution”

An advice Sumire has yet to comprehend in its entirety, but one she’s willing to try. More so after the following praise.

“You’re a good friend, Sumire. And I’m sure Y/N appreciates it… But… take it easy, you’re just a kid. Have fun!” she says, kissing the top of her head “Now, how does baking a pie sound like, hm?”

Sumire’s eyes glisten with excitement, mouth watering as she begins to envision the soft yet crunchy texture of the warm crust against her lips alongside a tall glass of milk.

“Can it be an apple pie??? Or a pecan pie!! Oh… I don’t know” Sumire pouts “I like all of them…”

“Only if you accompany to the market to get the ingredients” Ayaka winks and the child squeals in response, an adorable sight that has her heart squeezing with admiration—her daughter finally back to the usual cheerful, carefree self she loves so much.

“Oh, oh! And can we give some to Y/N-chan and her siblings??? Not Satoru though…”

“We have to be nice, Chumi, even if you don’t like them”

“...I guess…”

So, once the child was out of her uniform and into her everyday clothes, the mother grabbed her small hand and led her onto the common path towards the nearby village, where the weekly farmer’s market was to be found.

She initially planned for Sumire to stay back at the estate and have her finish whatever homework she had for the day, but after this small yet shocking revelation, Ayaka found it in her responsibilities to offer her some kind of distraction, a break from all the fuzziness.

And maybe, for herself too. 

Ayaka couldn’t believe the things that were happening with her kid when she wasn’t looking—it almost made her feel like she couldn’t get her eyes off them without them plunging into trouble. 

Well, in your and Sumire’s defense, both girls were relatively good girls who occasionally got into mischief, so a prank or misconduct once in a while was to be expected, and certainly, not something to reprimand them so harshly on. 

But Satoru… well, from what little she’s been able to observe from him whenever he was around, he’d always leaned more into evil than good. Ren didn’t entertain him, so no complaints from his side. Hinata… even if she liked him, or not, he was stuck with him—they still got along though, when they had a similar goal in mind, that is— 

And then you. Who kept a relatively good relationship with him, but because you were somewhat oblivious to his nature. However, as soon as you began to grow and began to observe your surroundings… that’s when things began to change.

It makes sense why everything started to happen the way it did when Ayaka balances it like that.

Did it mean it was right? Of course not, your curiosity could surely be dealt with in a more appropriate manner…

Was she the one to call this out? Act like a metaphorical whistleblower and tell Eiichi and Minako what was going on? She’s unsure; she’s not the L/N’s kids parent… but she is in charge of overseeing part of the successions in the estate… oh, but if she went ahead, she’d probably ignite Eiichi’s overprotectiveness to the point it might overwhelm you, but on the other hand, she would certainly expect to be told of what’s happening behind her back if Sumire were in your shoes…

It was a bit ironic for Ayaka to consider Sumire’s tendency of keeping to herself when something bothered her— her thoughts only becoming apparent through subtle traces in her face— as unprecedented, when she behaved the exact same way.

Children were sponges when it came to learning about their surroundings, yet such a statement would remain oblivious to her, even when a fellow staff member noted her to be distraught while working.

“Is everything alright, Ayaka-san? You seem rather… distracted” the servant asks, pulling her attention to them. “Oh, it’s nothing” She responds, blinking rapidly as if to sweep away whatever it was that had her in a trance and focus on both the person besides her and the task at hand ”I’m just… focused, that’s all”

“I couldn’t possibly imagine that preparing today’s food could be so interesting.” she jokes, and Ayako laughs in agreement.

“Alright, fine” she concedes, laying down the apples she was cutting for the promised pie before glancing at her coworker “I’m thinking, about something my daughter told me”

“Everything alright?” The woman, whose name was Yui, pondered.

“Yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry. Just something… silly, you know? Kids stuff”

“Well, whatever it was, it sure does seem to worry you… are you sure it’s nothing bad?”

“Ah, far from it… I mean, Sumire was a bit upset for a while, but I finally got her to tell me what it was that bothered her. Looks like Y/N-chan placed a bet with the Gojo heir and now she regrets it. And you won’t believe what she wanted”

“What was it?”

“She wanted a kiss!” Ayaka blurted out, still unable to believe the veracity of it all “Now that I think about it… I do remember Tomoko-sama telling me something about Y/N-chan relentlessly following her and Eiichi-sama around trying to make sense about something… to think it would be about first kisses and marriage—worst of all, that she’d actually go against their wishes and do what she did… so young, and she’s already promising to be quite the troublemaker”

“I wouldn’t worry too much—that’s what kids do, eh? She was just curious, that’s all” Yui shrugs.

“And now, that curiosity won’t leave her or my daughter alone! Apparently Gojo-sama wasn’t too fond of his negative reviews, to the point where the girls want to plot their revenge against him”

“Wow, that bad?” Yui snickered. “Well, can’t say I didn’t expect it, he’s always been known to be the sneaky one, compared to Ren-sama and Hinata-sama, although they can be quite sly if they set their minds to it”

“Well, you’re right about that—at least from what I’ve been able to assume” Ayaka sighs. “I was just wondering if I should tell our masters about what happened, I’m sure everything will cool down in time but still… wouldn’t you like to be told if something was going on with your kids?”

“Oh, definitely, but you have to consider how Eiichi-sama would react if he’s informed about this” Yui emphasized, slightly shivering at the visage of one of their always-kind masters becoming heated out of protectiveness.

“Is it even in our duties to let them know?” Ayaka ponders.

“Gah, they’re just children at the end of the day! It doesn’t really matter” The woman responds, playfully patting Ayaka’s back “Weren’t you naughty when younger?”

“Can’t say I wasn’t” she shrugs, and without anything else to say, the conversation rightfully ends: with Ayaka going back to preparing the pie she promised her daughter, and Yui helping her by preheating the oven. 

After this exchange with Yui, the mother of your best friend found herself somewhat agreeing with the woman’s words. It had been something a bit… shocking, sure, but nothing dangerous for either of the kids involved at the end of the day—you got curious about a simple peck on the lips, and Satoru reacted according to his nature, nothing that needs to be taken to the next level, such as involving your parents.

Besides, she still trusted her daughter to continue being the good friend she was with you by reminding you that there are certain things that are better dealt with directly, instead of going around circles attempting to get back at someone.

She’d further cement this teaching through a slice of pie of course, practice what she was preaching, but outside of that, Ayaka effectively concluded that all parties involved were nothing more than young kids.

Thus, the topic is virtually buried in the confines of her memory. A funny, temporarily concerning situation, that Ayaka would probably look back at one day when she didn’t know what to do.

And that would’ve been the case, of course, if she hadn’t told Yui about it.

Oh, but Ayaka could’ve never known, for it wasn’t in her nature to assume malicious intentions from others.

It was never in her plans to start rambling about what her daughter confined her with to others, but stranded in the island of her indecision, she couldn’t help but inquire for advice on what she should do.

It wasn’t her fault that the person she confided this secret to couldn't stop herself from finding this whole situation comical, worthy enough to be shared with everyone else, who in turn, found it equally hilarious to keep on passing the anecdote onto others, and so on and so forth. 

It was an innocent mistake, really, a funny story from the master’s kids!

…

One that stopped being funny the day your father was inevitably made aware of it.

Disaster ensued in one uneventful weekday afternoon, when Eiichi got back home from work.

As soon as he stepped foot in the L/N estate, he zeroed in onto the rooms the staff informed him they could find you and the Gojo heir in.

They didn’t need to look beyond his reddening face to know that he’d finally heard the rumor surrounding you and the white haired boy, to which they could only pray he wouldn’t chew up alive.

It’s a free for all at this point.

“Satoru, Y/N, follow me, now!” Eiichi ordered the moment he barged through the doors. His voice was loud and commanding, an unfamiliar tone from the often sweet and doting father you recognized. A contrasting difference that had both you and Satoru freezing on the spot. “I won’t repeat myself twice, stand up now”

You clench the edges of your sleeves as you quietly follow behind your father, with Satoru trailing just behind you.

It had been the only day you finally allowed him to be in the same room with you, allowing him the opportunity to finally speak his truth and maybe sneak an apology, but it seems that fate wasn’t to be on his side, yet again—and what a way to show him so.

Once the infuriated Eiichi cornered you and Satoru into another room, away from the prying eyes and ears of the surrounding servants, confrontation begins.

“What is this rumor that I’m hearing from the staff, Gojo?”

Satoru blinks, confused. He doesn’t know what your father is referring to, for the servants had done an exceptional job of keeping to themselves when spreading said rumor. 

The Gojo heir reflects on his past actions, attempting to find the possible cause of your father’s anger—it could be anything really, which doesn’t speak very well of his character.

Unable to find a cause, he glances at you; with a look that asks if you perhaps knew what he was talking about. It was only for the briefest of seconds, and solely to seek an explanation, but your father, who was far too gone in his anger, doesn’t let it slide so easily.

“Eyes on me, boy” Eiichi warns and Satoru recoils again.

“I—W-what rumor… L/N-sa—”

“Don’t act ignorant, Satoru! The one where you kissed my daughter? Quite the story that has been going around, I must add” Eiichi accused, and at this revelation, it’s now your time to pale.

“I—I don’t know what you…. You’re talking about L/N-san…” Gojo stammers, his face drained of all color to the point it’s almost hard to distinguish where his skin ends and his hair begins. “I didn’t do…”

“Y/N” Eiichi, not willing to entertain the seemingly foolish act the boy was putting on, refers to you. No nicknames or endearments, just your birth name—reflecting how serious he is about this.

To see your father so… different from the caring, protective and a bit silly man he presented himself to be with his family… It was terrifying. A sight so ghastly, that naturally has your heart jumping to your throat, rendering you speechless to what was perhaps the biggest miscalculation you could’ve considered when placing that bet.

You can’t even begin to ponder how it is that he learned about this as he continues to stare back at you, or if there’s even a way to get out of this situation.

“Y/N” he calls you again, urging you to an answer, which you miraculously perform after gathering all the courage you can find to look up to him and muster a quiet: yes, papa? before looking down to the ground.

“Did you kiss Satoru?”

You know it’s not good to lie, you were taught by your parents to not do so. It’s foul, deceiving, and hurtful. But seeing Satoru’s startled eyes and trembling lips, you find yourself doubting if that theoretical pain can be any worse than his current predicament.

It was never supposed to go this far, to the point of tarnishing your relationship with Satoru and your father.

Even with Satoru’s distressing behavior… you never wished to cause him any genuine harm. 

Guess there really is a first time for everything.

“No” you decide to lie for Satoru’s sake, shaking your head and clutching at your sleeves even tighter than before, to the point where your fingers turn completely white. 

You hoped that by keeping your answers limited he would concede to believe you and subsequently bring this situation to an end, but your father, having gone through similar ordeals with your siblings, finds it hard to accept your response without slight skepticism. 

“You know better than to lie to me, Y/N”

“I’m not!” you cry, now furiously shaking your head—whether to emphasize your words, or to sway the tears forming at the corners of your eyes away, you didn’t know.

“Then why is the staff going around saying that?” Eiichi wondered “It means that someone is lying, and it’s either you, or my staff”

“I don’t know papa….” you quietly sniveled, feeling yourself to be shrinking before him more and more the longer you remained underneath his gaze. His presence is so taxing on your conscience, that prompts unspoken guilt to erupt from inside in the shape of bewailing regrets “I’m sorry!”

And with that, you prove the rumors to be true.

You’d sob loudly enough for Eiichi to finally snap out from the unadulterated rampage he’d enacted on the two kids before him, and focus on the lamenting reality of his weeping daughter and startled boy.

This is one of the things he hated from being a father: having to confront his kids.

He wanted nothing more than for them to be perpetually happy, without a single worry for the world, give them everything they’ll ever need so they never have to suffer—while defending them from those that wanted to hurt them.

But life isn’t as black and white as Eiichi wanted it to be. It was wistful thinking to believe that he could forever protect them from the world. 

And he’d soon learn that being a good father isn’t just about having fun with his kids and giving them what they needed, it was also about letting them live their own experiences, let them stumble and fall, but being there to help them up—teach them how to deal with difficult situations so they can do so themselves when the time is right.

Kindly and calmly, like any good parent was expected to do—how he should’ve acted in this situation.

“No, no, it’s ok, pumpkin” he says, kneeling down to your level and softly cupping your face “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare both of you… I just… well, I was worried—I didn’t know how to answer your questions, or more like I didn’t want to, when I should’ve tried harder to help you understand. And instead of worrying that you could’ve done something to hurt yourself, I got angry at you for disobeying me”

“I’m—I’m sorry papa…. I—I d—didn’t mean t—to…” you continue to wail, gaze blurry and eyes warm as you look back to your father’s comforting soft gaze. “Please.. No angry with me”

“Oh, baby I’m not angry with you” he says, hugging you “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you, or Satoru like that…”

Eiichi lifts his gaze to Satoru, who, unsure of what to expect from such a radical change from your father, keeps a distant yet tense stance.

Your father, while not agreeing with the way Satoru often acts, knows well to look after his actions when he’s messed up, as well as reminding himself to be patient with him—he’s just a kid, born with a technique and responsibilities he never asked for. Wouldn’t that make him a reflection of his own daughter?

“Think you two can forgive me over ice cream?” He’d ask the pair.

“...chocolate?” you murmur against his chest, and he smiles.

“Consider it done, what about you… Satoru?”

“... Only if you get strawberry” he says, and Eiichi chuckles—that’s his favorite flavor too.

“Done” your father says, standing up and making way to the white haired boy and carefully shuffling his hair “Sorry, kid. Just… keep out of trouble, alright?”

And thus, with ice cream and a slight warning from your father, reminding you to approach him whenever you have questions (so as to avoid this situation from happening again…), the situation ends without further precedent.

Days would pass, and you and Satoru would eventually move past this occurrence, which both labeled as silly, and rekindle the friendship they initially had; all while promising to continue keeping this a secret from your sister and brother, whom by mysterious reasons, never knew about it.

You never figured out why that rumor sparked inside the estate in the first place, and as years passed, you honestly stopped caring. Even if you eventually determined it had been Sumire, it did nothing to affect your friendship with her, if anything, it grew stronger.

And so, it all remained in the past. A nostalgic-yet-cringeworthy memory grouped up with those of your childhood that took little to no weight in your mind, except of course, when gossiping with his friends, Shoko and Geto, when you wanted to kick him down a notch or two whenever he began to act a bit too arrogant for your liking.

Shoko would take your experience as evidence that he was always irritating, even from a young age.

While Geto would take it with a grain of salt, for in his own account, Satoru never struck him as a bad kisser.

A statement that had you and Shoko immediately glancing at each other, wondering just how he could possibly know that.

[justagalwhowrites]

Bestieeeeee! You do know how to keep me on my toes! I was all happy with the new ''Halcyon'' chapter, thinking it would be a light and fun read, but I damn if I couldn't stop the angsty feeling squeezing my heart the whole time I read it. I loved it, don't get me wrong, and it had fun parts. Their banter is a treasure, but I got this echo of an ache for lost time from both sides. Joel keeping two of her books and being unable to read her story screams for things to unravel. I cannot wait to read it!

Maybe it's because I'm still hurting/healing by ''Yearling'' and, in preparation, I already plot the worst outcomes. Or maybe it's just my brain that keeps pushing me towards this spiral of self-destruction. I cannot stop thinking about how helping each other will bring them closer, high school level at the least, and give them many good and intimate moments, but Joel looking for a stable relationship will mess it all up. I feel like Goldie, now that she has gotten Joel in her life again, won't want to do anything to rock the boat. I don't know how you imagine her, but I see her as a sweet babe who doesn't see herself as a candidate (terribly wrong of her) because she doesn't look like what she considers Joel's type. So, she'll push him towards other women, breaking her own heart in the process, and Joel will go with the flow because he doesn't want to lose her either, and maybe also because she and Sarah will have bonded up a lot, and he wouldn't want her daughter to lose Goldie in the process too. Uff... what a ramble!

I don't think I'm asking for an answer. I just had to get this out of my chest. Your stories make me overthink so much, and I'm saying it as a compliment. Thank you for the lovely update! Love you!♥️♥️♥️

OH MY GOSH BESTIE HOW DID I MISS THIS ASK???????

I love Joel and Goldie's friendship. These two have such a deep bond, they can be so themselves with each other and be comfortable in it and that is such a rare thing. They both, I think, are more vulnerable with each other than they are with anyone else in their lives and the last decade and a half without each other has been hard because of that. I don't think Goldie was ever as open or comfortable with her husband as she was with Joel and Joel never found anyone to get close enough to to even compare (beyond Sarah which is obviously a totally different kind of relationship.)

But I will say this much, they are definitely going to be as close as they were in high school. These two are moving very fast toward if not seeing each other every day at least talking for a while every day and seeing each other most days. They just gravitate toward each other and are happier even being by themselves when the other one is just close by. I adore them, I really really do.

Thank you so so much for overthinking about my stories!! I love that you do and that you're here and that you send me such thoughtful asks. (even if this one took me forever to answer!!)

Love you, bestie!!!!

[laniuchiha7]

To He, Who Hung the Stars: Ch 7

To He, Who Hung the Stars

SSBlankPeriod2023

Dear Sasuke-kun,

The entrance ceremony for the academy is in a few days, at the time I’m writing this, meaning our little girl will officially be enrolled at the academy! Although she’s been acting indifferent about attending, I can tell she’s secretly excited. I even caught her practicing with shuriken in the yard recently. Sometimes, she really reminds me of you; determined, willful, a little apathetic on the outside but deep down she really cares. She does have a bit of a temper, but I suppose she gets that more from me.

That school has really changed in recent years; the amount of classes and programs they offer now has significantly increased, including non-shinobi ones, and the graduation exam has been revamped. I’ve been talking with Naruto and Anko about adding more medical ninjutsu in the curriculum, at least so one person on each team can perform a basic healing jutsu. I know this is something Tsunade-shishou was really pushing for a long time too.

Time seems to move so fast these days; it feels like only yesterday we were put onto the same team but that was almost 20 years ago. Now our daughter is on her way to becoming a shinobi, and I have no doubt that she’ll be even stronger than both of us were at her age.

Do you remember our time there? As someone who had almost no knowledge of the shinobi world beforehand, seeing how much you knew and how you acted so aloof about it all was so cool to me. Back then I looked at you as if you had hung the stars. Well, if I’m being honest, I still do, probably more so if that’s possible.

The sky was clear the other night so I was able to see the moon. While I was looking at it I almost felt as if you were there, standing under it with me – did you see it too?

I hope you’re taking care of yourself. It doesn’t matter which dimension you’re in, fatigue will follow you if you’re not resting properly and I know you have a bad habit of forgoing basic needs once you get going during your missions. So, if you don’t do it for yourself, then at least for me. And next time you come home and stay the night, I’ll be sure to restock your medical supplies too. 

Until then, I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Stay safe.

Love,

Sakura

Sasuke sits at the cave entrance with a small smile playing on his lips, a campfire giving him enough light to read Sakura’s most recent letter. Hearing from her never fails to fill him with delight, especially considering he can rarely see her in person and for more than one night. 

Gazing up at the night sky he can see the full moon peeking out from under the clouds, feeling enveloped by a familiar comforting sense of warmth he often associates with his wife, wondering if perhaps Sakura is looking up at it as well. 

Envisioning her pastel pink hair and vivid green eyes full of mirth, Sasuke is still very much in this lavender haze with not a day passing by that he isn’t thankful for having someone like her in his life, checking up on him, supporting him, encouraging him, loving him in return, giving him a home where he can return to. She mentioned in her letter that he already hung the stars in her world, yet if he could Sasuke would gladly rob and steal across every place he’s visited just to further show his affection and gratitude for her.

The flower festival, honeymoon in the cottage on Myrtle Ave., hours spent teaching each other new skills, finding out Sakura was pregnant, returning to Konoha with their newborn daughter, helping Sarada take her first steps, creating a new life with them – although Sasuke can easily close his eyes and transport himself back to those, and many more, fond memories using his visual prowess anytime he pleases, indulging when feeling particularly homesick, it won’t make him any closer to finishing this assignment and returning to his family in person.

Having already missed most of her life, the idea of being absent for Sarada’s first day at the academy hits him harder than he thought it would – it feels he held her for the first time not so long ago however she’s already on the path to becoming a shinobi, like both of her parents. Even though he cannot be present during this time in her life he does find solace with Sakura being the one to lead her down that road, helping her become a strong and formidable shinobi who will forge her own way.

With the work he’s doing now Sarada will be able to live in a world where she can dream as big as her heart desires. A world where both of his girls can live in peace, where he hopes to one day join them – blissfully enjoying their company as they recount stories that took place during his absence, creating new memories together as a family.

Carefully folding the piece of parchment Sasuke tucks it into the side pocket of his pouch where a few other letters from Sakura are kept, then takes a bento purchased from a store last he was in a town and his water canteen to have a late night meal before resting. Tomorrow he’ll continue with his investigation. Tomorrow he’ll be one step closer to returning home.

[xknivesandpensx]

Like Pieces of a Puzzle

Chapter 8

Summary: What if Harry wasn't the only extra student called upon to participate in the Triwizard Tournament? Far from the most popular candidate, Draco not only has to take on the trials but also deal with his unexpected feelings for Hermione. Will he be able to face the challenges as well as follow his heart?

Chapter length will vary. I'll be referencing both the books and movie versions. Some things from what I've previously written will be mentioned, all of which you can find here.

And for those who asked to be tagged: @dayane245love

Although Potions exceeded no more than thirty minutes, to Draco the time seemed incredibly slow. Probably due to Snape rattling off a bunch of information regarding their next lesson, of which they copied down. In any normal case, he held no objection to the task. In fact, this class tended to be favored over the others by a large scale.

But his fingers refused to cooperate whenever he brought his quill to the parchment before him. A dull ache remained after being subjected to writing lines. He often had to flex his hand, therefore missing a word or two, for Snape spoke softly and quickly.

And, of course, whenever he placed a question, Hermione’s arm shot in the air. Even if she sat behind him by a few rows, the sound of her voice also gave Draco reason to pause.

Having run into both Hermione and Ginny (the latter whose presence he barely comprehended) rendered him silent. No remark, no jab or insult to be found. Just a perfectly unreasonable inability to speak. Still worse, he kept thinking about the way she held onto his hand. How soft her skin felt.

He really hated everything about the whole ordeal – Moody’s unethical detention, Hermione’s offered help, him accepting.

To think he could go from open mockery to liking her.

Draco forced his focus back to Snape for the rest of class, more than happy to go to the Great Hall. Maybe the Triwizard Tournament would consist of enough excitement to drown out the loud thumping of his heart.

Despite his efforts, he somehow ended up sitting directly in line with Hermione. Luckily, she faced the other direction, so he only saw the back of her head. At least, Pansy sat elsewhere. She’d ask too many questions if she noticed the mark on his hand, and given the annoyed look she gave Daphne and Astoria for taking her spot across from him, he felt better off.

While waiting for Dumbledore to begin his speech, he absently rubbed his fingertips over the healed scar. Too light to see if unaware, merely off in color and smooth to the touch.

The Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students arrived, gaining well received attention from his fellow Hogwarts classmates upon their entrance. One group decided on the Slytherin table and the others, Ravenclaw.

Even Draco felt a little smug about Victor Krum taking a seat next to him and their exchange of words. He read Ron’s open dejections through body language alone.

Dumbledore continued once everyone settled. He took out the Goblet of Fire, listing out the rules. To enter your name and school had to be written on a slip of parchment and tossed into the cup within the twenty-four-hour time limit. The binding magical contract formed if selected and, to the dismay of many not permitted to enter, he brought up the Age Line he’d place himself.

The feast consisted of a few new assortments, particularly ones favored by the new schools, such as Bouillabaisse. Draco stuck to his usual choices, despite not feeling overly hungry. Viktor came off more reserved than he expected and during their discussion about Quidditch. Draco learned the celebrity aspect of his life seldom did him any favors. And while not overly fond of the attention received, he held a gracious nature while in company of his fans.

Viktor was the exact opposite of how Draco viewed Harry.

A few in Durmstrang joined in by throwing in a comment every so often. The easy conversation lightened his sullen disposition.

Friday night passed into the next day almost in a blur. Draco didn’t see Hermione again until the afternoon, heading down to the small hut near the Forbidden Forest alongside Ron and Harry. He rolled his eyes. Why anyone wanted to hang around Hagrid was beyond him.

Draco hated how his chest tightened, like a physical force existed, pushing against his ribcage. Even from a distance she managed to affect him.

As he veered away, a bunch of girls rushed past, hastening towards the lake. Draco heard Viktor’s name and knew their immediate hope to gain recognition. Sure, he considered himself a fan but he refused to act the part of some fanatic enthusiast begging for an autograph.

He merely ventured outside due to the overabundance of chatter in the castle. Too many people kept going on about the tournament. Regardless of the event, classes were to be consistent and only interrupted for the Hogwarts champion.

Cassius Warrington, the Chaser for the Slytherin Quidditch team, mentioned putting his name in. Draco hardly thought him good enough to be chosen. Still, he preferred the idea of someone from his house representing them.

After wandering a bit further, Draco saw Igor Karkaroff. His near blank, thoughtful expression changed upon seeing him. By no means did the man ever convey any form of warm in regards to their familiarity. He managed to free his face of any trace of moroseness, for he and Lucius retained a positive relationship over the years.

A smile never quite reached his cold, brown eyes. A view of his yellowed teeth flashed for a moment in what appeared to be his attempt at a grin. “I was beginning to wonder when I’d run into you with all the commotion. How’s your father?”

“He’s been quite busy as of late, always popping in and out of the Ministry,” Draco supplied. The newly formed exchange allowed him to regain a calm disposition.

“Up to his usual then. I should invite him to the tournament. Your parents may enjoy watching Viktor claim the prize.” Igor already felt assured in the fact that he’d be picked and win. “It’d also give us a chance to catch up.”

“Feel free to send an owl, but I can’t be sure they’d come.” Draco almost rejected the notion. His feelings for Hermione, although easily hidden in front of others so far, might be detected by those who knew him better.

But feigning disinterest came easy to him. If anything, others noticed the lack of insults and name-calling. Pansy alluded to it in the morning by making a jab at Hermione, to which his comment fell short of the usual fire of loathing beneath.

If she included Harry and Ron, perhaps he could’ve mustered more of a retort full of his typical annoyance regarding the trio. He knew Pansy suspected nothing, as she never fathomed it possible to begin with.

“Nonsense,” Igor went on to say, lightly patting him on the back of his shoulder. “Your father owes me for not sending you to Durmstrang. You would have certainly excelled. You’d be among your own.”

Meaning no Muggle-born wizards were allowed to enroll, for he maintained a strict blood-purity policy. Plus, their education in the Dark Arts exceeded the curriculum of Hogwarts.

“My mother didn’t want me so far from home, otherwise I’m sure your school would fit me well.” He gave the answer expected of him, one not too long ago, he believed to be correct. More accurately, he still considered it a fact, a small part of him, however, wavered.

He raised his hands in a mock-surrender motion. “I respect Narcissa too much to argue.” He nodded his head, indicating Draco to follow him, pacing a couple of steps before continuing. “I’ve heard a few rumors a while back. Dumbledore all but shied away from them. Something about the Dark Lord sharing the body of a professor in your first year. Then, of course, the whole Chamber of Secrets trouble.”

Given how low Igor kept his voice, Draco figured he desired to keep the conversation between them. Yet he also detected the slightest quiver in his speech.

“Only if you believe Dumbledore and Potter on the account of Quirrel. I don’t doubt it to be true.” He hadn’t paid much mind to it since. He supposed the curiosity was warranted. “As for the Chamber, I never learned much out about it. My father knows more than me, though he never mentioned who opened it the first time. Why do you want to know?”

Igor stroked his goatee in a reflective manner, taking the information in. “Just trying to sort out a few unanswered questions… And you were at the Quidditch World Cup when the Dark Mark appeared? Any thoughts on who cast it?”

Draco knew Igor’s history, how the trial went. He turned in several of his fellow Death Eaters in exchange for pardoning his crimes. Which came across as nothing less than Lucius claiming to be acting under the Imperius Curse.

Still, Igor came off a little too inquisitive in his roundabout inquiries involving Voldemort.

Draco shrugged, unsure what information he should delve into. “Could have been anyone, don’t you think? Were you not there yourself?”

“No, I had other business to attend to.” Igor paused and quickly glanced around them before announcing his need for departure. “I should get that letter written sooner rather than later. I’m sure we’ll see more of one another.”

Draco watched him walk away in a hurried fashion, letting the discussion drift to the back of his mind. He felt no need to linger on it.

He wondered the grounds for a little while longer, stopping to talk to a group of Durmstrang students. They ended up accompanying him on the way back to the castle.

He felt as if discussion flowed freely between them, some very agreeable with his views and opinions. Perhaps their school would’ve served him better in companionship.

Here he never gained the type of friendship he witnessed every day. People sniggered at his jokes and circled around in small groups. But who’d really miss him? (For some reason an image of Hermione flickered regarding the thought).

In the end, Draco preferred she to never find out about his feelings, not persuaded by any means to believe she’d think of him as anything more than the boy who constantly called her a Mudblood and mocked her friends relentlessly.

After lunch he drifted back to Crabbe and Goyle. Neither offered many words for a simulating debate, even so the two tended to stick by him. Next thing he knew, Draco found himself in the courtyard, the pair following in tow, entertained by pushing around a few first years. He really needed a good laugh, after all. It helped lift the weight from the inner conflict he faced from caving in.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Any recent purchases? I gave my mom some money to grab a few things I wanted from the store recently. 

Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Yes.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? I have.

Do you still have both of your parents? Yes, and I’m so very grateful for that. 

Do you live very far away from Kansas? I mean, yeah. I’m in California, which is very far west and Kansas is in the middle. 

Do you enjoy cuddling? I honestly don’t have much cuddling experience. 

Do you play video games? Yeah, sometimes. It’s been awhile, though. 

How many colors are in your hair right now? My hair is entirely my natural hair color right now. I actually hate it, I miss my red hair so much. 

Do you have your full license yet? I don’t have my license. 

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? I do.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? I’m single. 

Do you prefer winter or summer? Winter all the way. I dread summer. 

Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Yes.

Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? I don’t mind a little PDA, but not too much.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yeah, several times. 

Where are your siblings as of now? My younger brother is at his boyfriend’s house and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What color shirt are you wearing as of now? It’s light blue.

What is your favorite class? I’m not in school anymore, but I always loved English. I also liked most of my psych courses. 

Are you in love with someone right now? No.

Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak a little Spanish.

Do you take a lot of photos? No. Definitely not of myself. I take screen shots or save photos to my phone more than I take any. 

When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? I suppose so.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope. 

Where do you download music from? I haven’t downloaded music since like 2012. I just use Spotify to listen to music. 

Have you ever cheated on someone before? No.

Have you ever attempted suicide? No.

Do you know what ‘irony’ means? I do. 

How many pillows do you normally sleep with? A few. 

Do you lose your remote often? No, it’s always next to me.

Have you ever skipped class before? Yeah, I did sometimes in college. I didn’t make a habit of it or anything and I always did my work and got whatever I missed. 

Are you a regular school skipper? No, like I said I didn’t make a habit of it. I never understood how some people would only come on exam days.

Do you have any Pay-per-View channels? Is that even a thing anymore?

Who, in your life, makes you feel discouraged? Just myself. 

When was the last time you went bowling? Almost 15 years ago. 

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? --

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No, but I like doing the appetizers. 

Is there anything bothering you right now? There’s a few things bothering me. There always is.

Would you like to talk to someone about it? I briefly did earlier about some of it with my mom. 

Do you live by any major bodies of water? Yes, the Pacific ocean. 

Do you tend to make the first move in a relationship? No.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? I do. 

How many times have you been to Disney World, if any? Never, sadly. I’d love to go. I’ve been to Disneyland several times, though, which I love. 

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? No.

Have you ever been accused of being on drugs when you weren’t? No.

Do you have a more quiet or loud voice? I’d say I have a quiet voice. People often need me to repeat myself and speak a little louder. 

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Not that I know of.

When was the last time you got a shot? Uhhh. I don’t even remember, it’s been a long time.

Can you play any instruments? If so, what are those instruments? No. I wish I could. 

Do you have any diseases? No, but I have other health issues. Some of them are chronic. 

Have you ever been into a car accident? No, fortunately. 

[sugar-stories]

A Stable Relationship Special Illustration #2:

🎵 The Furinkan High School Fantasy Roleplaying Guild, Part Two 🔮

Hello, and welcome back (six months later) to the series of illustrations accompanying my completed fanfic, A Stable Relationship! (The Ranma ½ fic full of hijinks, shenanigans, and madcap martial arts romance wherein everything is pretty much the same as usual…except it’s a new school year and Kuno has fallen into the Spring of Drowned Horse over vacation so that Nabiki can blackmail him about it even more hilarity can ensue.) This illustration contains the second half of the Furinkan High School Martial Arts Fantasy Roleplaying Guild, who Ranma and the gang faced off against in Chapter Two! (Previous illustration is here!) More character details from my initial outline notes are under the cut.

Yuuta Magari - 曲夕歌; The group’s bard. A man of very few words, he prefers playing the shamisen to talking. He doesn’t handle confrontation well, but he’ll always support his best friends Kou and Kenkichi. His singing actually isn’t that good, but nobody else can play an instrument. He makes and mends the group’s costumes along with Kou, as they both take Martial Arts Fantasy Roleplaying quite seriously as a lifestyle. He is a video game otaku on the side.

Maho Motoi - 本井まほ; A seasoned and somewhat foul-mouthed Wizard who fights with a magic wand; Maho is the most serious practitioner of Martial Arts Fantasy Roleplaying, specializing in arcane lore. She keeps tomes, scrolls, and rule books nearby at all times. Many of them are hidden in strange places, like in her hair or socks. She tends to boss Yuuta and Kou around. This stems from her having a lot of younger brothers at home and being used to dealing with boys. She was the first to perfect the guaranteed-hit “Mó Fǎ Fēi Dàn” technique. Her hobbies are reading and playing tennis. She loves Chinese food most of all, and eats steamed buns while reading fantasy light novels to re-energize.

Kou Teramoto - 寺下光; The Cleric and the snarkiest of the group. When his friends’ HP is low, he clobbers them over the head with his magic staff, which somehow makes them feel better. He knows how to make herbal remedies, and is good at gardening and sewing. He is the best at math and the worst at sports. He comes to idolize Kasumi after she “heals” him with a rice ball.

For info on the names’ kanji readings and more, check out the fic’s chapter two notes!

[dhampiravidi]

call of duty OC (Achilles's MW AU)

template adapted from this:

MAIN STATS

Name: Achilleas (Kili) "Ares" Petrikis Vlahos

Explanation: Kili is what his friends, lovers, and his parents (usually) call him. Ares is his call sign/nickname, which he earned due to the frenzy he appears to go into when fighting in close quarters combat.

Born: Jul. 13, 1981 in Farsala, Thessaly, Greece (age 33 as of 2023)

Gender: Gender Nonconforming (he/him)

Orientation: Pansexual

Race: White

Citizenship: Greek

Residence: Farsala, Thessaly, Greece

Affiliations: previously served in the 1st Infantry Division "Smyrni" (Hellenic Army), serves with Task Force 141

Rank: verse dependent

APPEARANCE

he stands at 5'11" (1.8 m) with a fair complexion that's tanned well after years of going to the beach. Ares is more the type who'd be called "beautiful" instead of handsome, as he's not as muscular as those he serves with. Still, he has his share of muscle, bruises, and scars--souvenirs from everything he's survived. His hair is a heady bronze in the sunlight, since it's light brown with reddish undertones, and his eyes are an ever-changing mix of green.

PERSONALITY

many view him as prideful, but he simply lacks the insecurities that others believe to be important to a normal sense of self. In other words, he doesn’t care much about what others of him, because they are not his family/loved ones. He’d rather have a tight circle of close friends than the approval of everyone. He also views all people as equal, so if he overhears a bully antagonizing someone, he'll jump in to end things. Sometimes he's so eager to "end things" that he ends up doing something rash and violent. This, as well as his deeply-ingrained loyalty, can easily be seen as weaknesses of his.

ABILITIES

Battlefield Prowess: known more for his strength and agility than his endurance or his teamwork; prefers handgun & h2h Handedness: Right Languages: Modern Greek, English, Greek Sign Language

BACKGROUND

his favorite childhood memory is of his dad chasing him into the waves as a toddler while his mom laughed & watched. His parents, famous war hero Petros, and even-more-famous Thekla, divorced when he was six. About a decade later, both parents were checking on their son when it was convenient, but...well. He'd end up having a kid when he was in secondary school, after sleeping with a female friend while drunk and naked. It was definitely an accident, and yet he didn't mind children. He and his friend decided to keep things nice and platonic there, and he promised to send them money every day before he came to visit. Not long after that, Ares, like most others his age, joined the army to finish their mandatory service. He ended up serving past his term.

EXTRA

in the US, away from his traditional dad, he starts dressing in a more genderfluid way, wearing low-collared shirts and mesh tops, getting his ears pierced, putting on eyeliner and light makeup...etc. He still identifies as a boy, but he comes out as pansexual (& to his close friends, polyamorous). he keeps plenty of pictures of his current lover(s) on his phone because he tends to get a lil lonely while traveling, even when he's with the entourage he's used to. even though he has no hard feelings towards his time in the military (despite his PTSD), he's kind of insecure when it comes to letting people outside his inner circle see the healed gunshot wounds on his torso. he has a Spotify account for releasing music (AKA original acoustics he records while on leave), under the name AGAP3.

[ascendantevolution]

Past Lives: What I know (so far)

I do not consider myself an expert in past lives, by any means. However, when I stand here in my reality and look back at my life, I can say that I have had many forays into past lives, and it turns out that I have learned a few things that might be of interest to those who are toying with the notion of past lives.

Here is what I have come to believe about past lives:

We live countless lives. 

We choose to come to Earth, both for schooling and for other specific purposes. “Earth School” is an apt name for our destination and experiences. 

We are extensions of a Divine Will, taking into ourselves some aspect of the Divine as we fractalize into various realities . . . and lives. 

For this reason, we are all born with unique natures and abilities upon which we grow, refine, build through many lifetimes.

As extensions of the Divine, the Divine Will craves to understand all aspects of our nature with its mix of abilities - the good, the bad, the ugly, the light, the dark, the obvious, the not-so-obvious.

Our past lives are as unique as each of us are. The variety of past lives can be vast. While there can be many earthly incarnations, it is also possible to access lives in other dimensions as well as cosmic systems (star systems and universes).

When we come into this life, it is with the agreement to forget all that we have been and learned in previous lives.

Even so, our experiences and knowings are so deeply integrated into our natures and experiences that, while we suffer a kind of amnesia, there also exists varying degrees of remembering through phobias, dreams, and so on.

For those who have lived many lives, the so-called “ancient souls,” the collective experiences are too integrated and present in the rememberings of the soul to keep suppressed. These people seem to be naturals when it comes to remembering as well having the ability to access other energies and realities through clairsenses with a seeming ease, often described as a “gift” by those who do not seem to have the same access. Of course, belief in something is required in order to be able to see and understand it clearly; practice is the other, which first requires belief coupled with commitment. Everyone is capable of harnessing all of these factors.  

Past lives can come through in sleeping dreams and  “day dreams” (visions) as well as journeys and past life regressions. 

We are only given the messages, scenes, happenings that are relevant for us at the time that we access them. Our Higher Selves and guides are gatekeepers for what is needed and will be helpful for development and purpose in this life at a given time. I have two main thematic narratives for past lives running for which most past life memories can be categorized: the warrior and the spiritual being. This has been revealed over the course of decades, through multiple visions, journeys, and past life regressions. Each past life reveals something within me that needs attention and healing. They have also had the imacy=t of helping me to better understand my nature and purpose.

We are drip fed what we need to know over time. As mentioned above, I have received insights over the course of decades, divinely timed remembrances that fit my readiness level for understanding as well service to my greater purpose.

We are shown what we need to see so that we can heal. I have seen multiple scenes from multiple lifetimes, everyone of them leading to deep healing. In the work that I do with clients, this is my chiefest concern: their healing. If we ever needed a single reason for remembering past lives, this would be the most compelling.

What led to past life healing was the feeling that I experienced in reliving each, the feeling which stuck with me in my “waking” state. In all of my experiences, one aspect of the experience rises to the top in importance: how each vision - what was specifically shared with me - felt. It is feelings that are our teachers, the nuggets of shadow that remain, carried into this life - impacting it - to be dealt with. Once we get a lead on them, we have the power to begin to follow the scent back to the seed of it and finally deal with it once and for all.