#of course I understand! Of course I understand the impulse to make everyone forget your biggest regret!

[mayasaura]

do we actually know for sure john *deliberately* wiped everyone's memories, or is it just likely? because it is likely, i'll give you that, but i don't remember anything in the books concretely proving it

It was deliberate. From John 5:4:

"And my loved ones . . . the ones I left, I'll bring back. I know I can. Even G—. In fact, G—'ll be easiest—he won't remember the compound—none of them will have to remember anything. I know where remembrance lives in the brain, and he won't have any of it. You know that too, don't you? It's the easiest thing in the world . . . to forget."

She said, "To forget . . . everything?"

"Yes," he said, and more sharply— "Yes. It's the only way."

"Teacher, why?"

"They won't forgive themselves," he said. "They'll spend the rest of their lives asking what-ifs. 'What should we have done? How could we have done it differently? Did you need to do it?' And—I did need to do it, Harrow. There was no other way. Once the bombs were going off, there was no hope for Melbourne anyway—G— was dead meat."

She said—

"You said that G—'s bomb went off first."

He's justifying it to himself as sparing them the grief and the guilt of having to face what happened. In combination with the ending of Harrow the Ninth, I think it's pretty clear he's afraid of their judgement. He can't bear to be asked to face what he's done, so he makes everyone else . . . forget. And then does his best to forget, too.

[hanzajesthanza]

i tend to focus on regis making angouleme a little less insane. but the underrated dynamic in my head is angouleme making regis a little more insane. this mentorship goes both ways.

[pathetic-sapphic]

arcane characters and their toxic traits in a relationship?

Arcane characters and their toxic traits

a/n: it is almost 5 am so i haven't proofread it yet ;; hope you'll enjoy it regardless

VI

Tries to take on all the burden and suffering on her shoulders. She never wants you to get hurt or to bother you so she'd rather suffer in silence. This greatly affects your communication as she may get distant whenever she's dealing with some problems, which in turn may make you think that you did something wrong and that she's ignoring you. This simply comes from a traumatic past where Vi always had to take accountability and sacrifice herself for others. She will work on it once she sees the way it affects your relationship though. She just doesn't want to be a burden.

JINX

Very insecure when it comes to your love and loyalty towards her. Jinx is so used to thinking that everyone will eventually abandon her and you're the one person she really cannot lose. Because of this, she will often come off as overprotective and possessive. You will need to make your boundaries clear and reassure her often. Because she's so scared of losing you, sometimes she will go to drastic ends in order to make sure you're still happy with her and don't want to break up. Can also be very impulsive and has trouble sticking to the plans you two made.

CAITLYN

Can come off as insensitive when it comes to finances. Of course, she understands that many people aren't quite as well-off and Caitlyn genuinely cares for everyone but sometimes she doesn't quite understand how affluent she is. She might overwhelm you with expensive gifts, luxurious trips or over the top galas. She won't understand if you're ever hesitant when buying something or why you always make sure to see what's on sale at the market. It will take some time getting used to and you'll have to explain to Caitlyn the differences between your upbringings. Caitlyn isn't a judgemental partner, she just likes to spoil you, though she will tone it down if she notices you getting uncomfortable.

EKKO

Very stubborn when it comes to asking for or receiving help. He will push you away and hide his wounds or problems from you. Ekko is just so used to handling things on his own that he hates the idea of letting you bear his burden. He needs a long talk with you where you'll show him your support and help him realize the importance of confiding in one another. Ekko doesn't realize that it isn't a one-sided thing, meaning that if he helps you out when you need it, you'd do the same for him. Sure, he has the Firelights, many of them who are his friends but he rarely felt comfortable enough to confide in anyone. It's easy to forget that he is just a boy, trying to shoulder the weight of the world, and that he doesn't have to do it all alone.

SEVIKA

Surprisingly inexperienced when it comes to romantic relationships. Sevika rarely gets attached to someone, beyond the sexual sense. For her, lovers are people she sleeps with to release the tension and frustration that builds up during her shift. She never truly had a partner, someone to whom she can show her soft side, someone who will cherish her beyond her body and money. Because of this, she often struggles with showing love towards her partner in a non-sexual way or a way that doesn't include physical touch. Words. That is the biggest problem for Sevika; expressing her appreciation and adoration through kind declarations is something that will take a while for her to learn.

SILCO

Silco is often too focused on his cause towards Zaun and forgets his other priorities besides that one. This causes him to overwork and come off as cold towards anyone he deems a threat to his goal. Because of this, he may ignore his partner whenever he's stressed out and deep into work. He's also rarely home, and since he isn't a fan of PDA, it can be hard to deal with the feeling of missing him so much. He tries to make it up to you with gifts but you'll need to explain to him that such luxurious things cannot replace his touch and company.

VANDER

Similar to Vi (where do you think she got that trait from?), Vander is so used to shouldering everything on his own. He wants to assure for you to live a comfortable and fulfilled life, even at the cost of his own happiness. He works tirelessly to keep the Last Drop and the Lanes afloat and seldom shares the workload with you. You can see how the stress wears him down but he will deny it until he completely bursts under pressure. Vander doesn't understand how much it hurts to see him like this, but some kind words and gentle touches can help when coaxing him into leaning on you too.

VIKTOR

Workaholic who never takes care of himself. So burdened down with the little time that he has left, Viktor doesn't plan to waste any of it by doing trivial stuff such as eating or resting. As loving as he is, Viktor can be an insanely stubborn partner. You'll probably have to hoist him over your shoulder and lock the door to his office in order to take him away from work for a couple of hours. He doesn't realize just how detrimental the negligence when it comes to taking care of himself is to his health. You need to explain to him that he won't get anywhere by working himself to the grave and you'll probably have to beg him to let you take care of him.

JAYCE

As smart as he is when it comes to his field of work, Jayce can be quite dense and heedless of other people's feelings. If you're the type of person who doesn't know how to talk about their problems or struggles with communication, there will be some issues in your relationship with Jayce. He's the type of person who asks you what's wrong and, once you give him a half-assed 'Nothing, I'm fine.', he goes all 'okay :D', pats your back and wanders off. You need to be direct and blunt with him because hints and exaggerated sighs simply won't do the trick.

MEL

Mel is an incredibly intelligent woman who knows how to get what she wants. This means that she can be quite manipulative at times, I mean you have to be if you want to succeed in politics. She'd never act that way with you on purpose, of course not, but it may happen unintentionally. She is also another workaholic who may appear too cold with her feelings but this is simply because she's hesitant to bring her walls and defenses down. It'll take a lot of time and patience to see her vulnerable side.

GRAYSON

Grayson is sort of a combination between Viktor and Vander; works too much and is too selfless for her own good. Grayson takes her job very seriously, safety of the citizens is of the utmost importance to her. This leads to her neglecting her own well-being and health. Lots of caffeine and many long nights in the office are spent by Piltover's Sheriff and, the older she gets, the more it wears down on her. It's hard to ignore the bags under her eyes or the tiredness in her voice as she drags herself into your shared home late at night.

AMBESSA

Quite cold and guarded, someone who doesn't appreciate or understand feelings like mercy or kindness. She believes that every single person is inherently selfish and wants something from her. This is why she doubts your good nature so much in the beginning. It has been a long time since Ambessa let herself get involved romantically with someone so she has a lot of re-learning to do. This may come with a cost of your feelings being hurt from time to time, especially if you're a sensitive and kind-hearted person. As much as Ambessa loves you and tries to show that, it isn't easy to sweep years of experience under the rug. You'll need to be strong while she gets used to upholding a romantic relationship.

CASSANDRA

Cold and regal, oftentimes comes off as strict. Cassandra only wants the best for you but sometimes she just doesn't know how to say it. So instead she might go behind your back in order to ensure your safety and happiness. This often backfires, especially because of your opposing opinions. You feel as if she's treating you like a child while Cassandra simply thinks that she's looking out for you. Is also insanely stubborn, it'll take time for her to learn to look at things from your perspective.

[whydoyoucare866]

hai :3 can i request an enemies to lover miguel o hara fic where they get stuck in a closet together and reader kinda has to sit on his lap because there isnt any space and so after a few minutes of being in there, reader pisses off miguel and miguel kisses them to shut them up and then the rest is history ig 🙇‍♀️

PLS AND THANK YOU! 🙇‍♀️

also pls make the reader speak spanish im BEGGINGGG.

CLOSET

hi! ofc you can! I did my best! I’m sorry that it sucks and is cringy😀😭

Miguel O’ Hara x Hispanic Reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Suggestive Language, Maybe a glimpse of smut, and Miguel being an asshole

You were one of Miguel’s first recruits, you had been working in the spider society for as long as it had existed, you and Miguel were close (or you would like to consider that) since you both shared the same culture and language and it was easier for you to communicate with him when your English wasn’t as good as it is (since in your universe Spanish was the predominant language) and he would be one of the few people who could understand your accent or you speaking Spanish when you forgot a word.

He took it as his personal job to teach you English until you perfected it and people who didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to guess that it wasn’t your first language( though sometimes you still would forget words in English or express yourself better in Spanish) you would both mutually bring food for each other or bond over music, so yeah you considered yourself close to him.

That was until he started becoming way more stressed about everything, yeah he has been a sour asshole ever since his canon event, but people were at least able to get small responses and have conversations that weren’t all about work with him, but as the spider society grew, he felt a lot of pressure on him and started drowning himself in work to the point that he would isolate himself for days until he got everything he needed done, he could spend weeks without sleeping and eating, and obviously as he became more stressed his memories started to impulse even worse emotions on him than they did before.

Of course this made you and your other teammates worried about him, so you started to bring him lunch, make sure he slept, and just went to see if he was okay, but you checking up on him started to annoy him as he got more irritating because of the lack of sleep and the accumulation of stress, so one day he just decided you annoyed him and soon that annoyance turned into hatred, or that’s what he thought it was.

This made him become snappy at you and we all know he can be the greatest asshole, at first you’re patient with him, thinking it will pass, but as it gets worse you reach your ending point and lose all patience starting to respond to him the same way he talked to you.

The sudden change weirded everyone out, but they also noticed that ever since you started hating Miguel back, his mood became even worse, well everyone noticed except for you, which surprised everyone since you were one of the smartest people in the spider society.

So thats why everyone refused to go to a mission with Miguel when he asked them to, arguing that they already had a mission, or that they had something really important to do, until Miguel had no other option but to take you and you had no other option but to go with him.

“Do i reaally have to go with him? I mean can’t he just ask Ben instead?” You said to Jess

“Nope honey, Ben has a really important therapy session”

“Okay? so then ask Gwen? Pavitr? Hobie? anyone else?”

“He already did, they’re all busy”

“Then why can’t you go”

“As important as the spider society is, I have an ultrasound appointment today, so I can’t go even if I wanted to”

“Well the world just hates me then doesn’t it”

“Maybe it does, or maybe it’s doing you a favor”

“Trust me, being alone with him is not a favor, i don’t want to be screamed at about how i’m annoying and a fucking- what was the word? uhm una carga? how did you say that?”

“A burden?”

“Yeah that! I don’t want to be called a burden and shit like that”

“You’re no burden, but I’ll tell you what you sound like, a teenage girl, come on, you’re an adult, you can take things in a professional way”

“Well the one that’s childish is him not me”

“Uh huh, well i’ve gotta go, good luck!”

“Yeah whatever”

You were now approaching Miguel’s office while wishing you were dead ‘Puta madre neta me lleva la verga, ahora si ya no tengo de otra más que ir’ (Fuck this shit, now I really don’t have any option but to go), you were starting to grow nervous as you approached his door, you hadn’t been alone with him since your last fight where he directly called you annoying and a burden, but now you had no other option.

After finishing the mission without actually talking to each other unless necessary, you both came back to the HQ, when you arrived it was weirdly quiet and no one seemed to be there doing their duties even if it was not that late, which was really weird, that was until you saw Peter B. approaching you with a worried look

“Hey y/n, have you seen MayDay? I can’t find her, usually it takes me an hour, but it’s been four hours and I haven’t been able to find her and I’m starting to get worried” Peter said to you while still running up to you and then catching his breath

“Oh, um I’m sorry but we just got back from a mission so we haven’t seen anything, but we can help you look!”

“No we can’t” Miguel said

“Yes we can, anyways where was the last place that you saw her Peter?” You said after glaring at Miguel as if looks could kill

“Well, I think it was in that one room that has a closet.. I always forget what it’s called”

“Okay yeah, I know which one you’re talking about, let’s go take a look”

Miguel followed them even if he said he wouldn’t be helping, Mayday being on the loose could press a lot of buttons and break a lot of things and cause a lot of problems, so there he was, inside of the closet with you, while Peter “looked” around the room, until they heard a loud noise of the door closing and now he was trapped inside with you, the worst thing is that because of the lack of space you ended up in his lap.

“Great, just what I needed”

“You know I’m not happy about being here with you either okay?”

“Oh is that so? or was this your little plan to get me trapped with you and to get all up on my personal space”

“WHAT? I would NOT do that, and I do NOT want to be in the same room as you you fucking asshole!”

“Oh yeah am I an asshole? sorry I couldn’t understand you with that accent”

“WHAT? okay now you’re being unreasonable, you want me to say it in Spanish? I will, Yo no planee esto wey, yo no quiero estar en el mismo lugar que tu, yo no quiero que me hables, yo no te quiero hablar y mucho menos molestar tu pinche espacio personal, así que neta hazme un favor y cállate un rato que ya no te aguanto cabrón, neta deja de cagar el palo y de ser un pendejo de la nada y ni me trates de culpar porque yo ni se que chingados te hice para que me odies tanto-“. (I didn’t plan this, I don’t want to be in the same place as you, I don’t want you to talk to me or to talk to you or even less to be all on your fucking personal space, so please do me a favor and shut up a little because I can’t deal with you anymore, please stop being such an asshole out of nowhere and don’t blame me because i don’t even know what the fuck I did for you to hate me so much-) That’s when you felt something on your lips, and it took you some time to realize he was kissing you, Miguel O’Hara was kissing you, you sure as hell felt as a teenage girl, butterflies in your stomach and everything.

On the other side Miguel was starting to get nervous as you didn’t return the kiss, he was starting to pull away and about to say he was sorry and he didn’t mean it when he felt you pulling him close and kissing him again, at first it was just a sweet kiss, but then it started to get heated, he couldn’t help but moan when he started feeling you grinding against him, with each second passing making him harder, he started kissing your neck and sucking “Fuck Miguel- you’re gonna leave marks” but he didn’t care, he continued, hearing your moans was paradise to him, he wanted to take you there so bad, until, they heard a knock “Um guys? are you okay?” Peter B said as he unlocked the door and opened it making Miguel groan in annoyance “This isn’t over.” he said before the door completely opened and revealed a Peter with a smiling Mayday in his arms.

[oswildin]

Loki x ADHD!Partner Headcannons

Please note this is written using my own understanding/knowledge of ADHD (general), and from my own personal experience with neurodivergence (autism). ADHD, same as autism, is not the same for everyone!

Loki knew you struggled with keeping your thoughts in check, sometimes it was like a hundred things were going round in your mind and yet you just could not focus on one damn thing.

Loki knew you could get frustrated, distracted, agitated by this issue, and he hated that. He would do his best to help where he could, ensuring you remembered important things - appointments, commitments, tasks, anything that he thought could slip your mind, he had your back.

“Oh, did you make that phone call you mentioned earlier?” “Here’s your tea, you left it in the kitchen, I didn’t want it to go cold.” “Let me help you with that.” “Let’s sit down and formulate a plan.”

He was always gentle with his reminders, never getting angry or upset with your moments of forgetfulness. He understood that it was a genuine mistake, that sometimes… these things happen.

When you need to just yap, Loki is always happy to listen. He loves listening to you talk. He knows it makes you feel better, it makes you happy, and that makes him happy.

Feeling anxious? A little overwhelmed? Like you can’t shut your mind off? Loki is on the case.

“Come.” Loki would say gently, a small smile on his lips as he guided you to the living room he’d told you to stay out of for the last half an hour. When you enter, your favourite film is ready on the TV, a snuggly blanket is waiting for you on the couch, and a variety of snacks (and of course multiple drinks) are also there for you to enjoy. “I thought perhaps it could help calm your mind a bit, just for a while.”

He always keeps a mental note of where you leave things - like your phone, earphones, keys etc. Or if he sees them in the ‘wrong spot’ he will move them so they’re clearly visible to you. He also knows sometimes things become apart of the furniture so to speak. To be honest, he’s the same with his books.

Trouble sleeping? Loki will make you some tea, light some scented candles that smell like lavender, maybe even put on some soothing, relaxing music - anything to try and help you relax and unwind. He’ll even read to you. Or he will simply stay awake with you. It’s fine, he doesn’t need much sleep anyway, he’s a God.

Have a lot of tasks/chores that need doing and you don’t know where to start? No worries, Loki actually loves organising things - being methodical. He will sit with you and help make a list of things to do.

If you’re having a bad day, maybe experiencing some mood swings, Loki is patient. He is understanding. At first, he thought he was doing something wrong, but when he began to read up about ADHD and gather as much information as he could to understand and help you, he realised that it was something you couldn’t help, it wasn’t him.

If you snap at him or get frustrated/hot tempered, Loki simply gives you your space. Although he is always near, never wanting you to feel like he was leaving you alone or that he doesn’t want to be around you. No, that isn’t it. He just knows from his own experience with anger that sometimes you just need a moment to cool off and take a breath.

Feeling spontaneous? Well, lucky for you, Loki is always onboard. It makes life interesting!

However, if you’re feeling impulsive and it’s something that Loki considers… ‘reckless’ - he will always try and steer your attention to something else, something more productive and fun.

“When did that get there?” You’d once asked, furrowed brows as you looked at the book shelf Loki had put up. Loki raised a brow, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Two weeks ago.” He told you lightly, a slight tease to his voice. “Oh.” You blinked. “I wonder what else I could do around here before you notice…” Loki mused playfully, feigning deep thought. “Shut up.” You rolled your eyes playfully, amused.

Loki is always there to help any way he can, make your life easier, whether to listen, lend a hand. He knows that sometimes things can be hard, feel impossible, be too much… And he never judges you. He wants to be there, he wants to make you feel comfortable, he wants to let you feel seen and understood.

“You are amazing.” Loki told you, peering down at you as you were snuggled against him. “Truly, I’m so proud of you.” He pressed a kiss to your temple as you smiled. “And you know, whatever you need, whenever you need it…” He raised a brow, tilting his head playfully. “Well, I’m not going anywhere.”

[kairiscorner]

Gonna request 🔥🔥🔥 (don't do this if you don't want to or if someone else requested this before)

So, HCs Spider-Noir with a sensitive (or just cries easily) s/o

like, they make small mistakes but they feel really bad about it, crying when they feel pressured, feeling pressured easily (like, when playing a game of teams and they feel nervous because they don't want to make the team fail for their fault), crying easily when someone is mean to them, feeling bad with jokes towards them even if it isn't serious (an example is that one time my sister told as a joke that she hated me and I cried) and etc.

(This is based of me, one time I cried because I accidentally bought a more cheap soda when I had more money for a bigger soda)

HIII wait that's also like me what.......... like man, i am so easy to overwhelm, i'm sorry you feel that way sometimes too ;-; but know this, if you wanna cry, fucking cry if you have to. it's free and it feels good, but also feels bad, but in the end, you'll feel way better than you would if you held the urge in. i hope you like this and always remember your feelings are valid 🫶🫶🫶

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

noir x sensitive!gn!reader headcanons

it hurts noir when you beat yourself up over small mistakes, and seeing and hearing you cry about it aches his heart tbh :( he wants to tell you so badly he loves that you're trying even if it looks hard and that you don't have to be the best at everything or get that many people to like you because you're perfect already the way you are.

he feels so bad when you start to overthink, but for every bad or negative thought you have of yourself, he has an honest to goodness truth to counter them. thinking you're disappointing your whole team if you do badly? well, you aren't the only member, you won't be the cause of their failure. you're worried other people won't like you if you make an impulsive decision because they're rushing you? well, he likes you and wants what's best for you, think it over, he'll deal with those people rushing you to make a decision.

if you're okay with it, noir would pat your back or head, hold your hand, wrap his arm around your shoulders or waist and just hold you to calm you down. he feels over your knuckles and the back of your hand when he does that, it's kind of his way to assure you everything will be alright, you have time, you don't need to do things too quickly, don't feel bad that you have needs, and of course you have wants that might not be what everyone else wants--and that's okay.

he doesn't get mad when you cry over a mean joke, he himself gets pissed off when other people think you're easy to fool or too sensitive or a crybaby when you cry about it. he would not hesitate to beat the shit out of whoever messed with you, but of course, he'd reason with them first. if words don't get through them, you know his fists will be.

but honestly, those people don't matter to him, because all that matters to him is you being okay. he doesn't want you to dwell too much on the bad things they did to you, so he tries to help you get past it, help you forget it and distract you if need be. he reminds you that your crying is valid, not everyone likes mean jokes, and you just happened to be one of those people.

"love, it's okay to cry about it. they didn't know you didn't like that, and they'd better learn that you don't... but your crying is valid, if they say otherwise, i'm beating their jaws in."

overall, noir just wants to be there for you and be the shoulder you cry on. he understands you're not the toughest person out there, but you're strong enough to admit to your vulnerabilities; and noir definitely looks up to you for that. he's here to provide you both all the comfort and space you might need, just say the word, he'll do any and everything he has to to keep you happy and wipe those tears from your eyes.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @k4tsu3 @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @thee-fantastic-mrfox @fiannee @arachnoia @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

wackus helpppp how do you decide which enneagram characters are you're the enneagram person help meeeee

hello empress you have come to the right place!! you know i cannot shut up about the enneagram esPECIALLY when it comes to fictional characters hehe!

it's actually pretty straightforward imo. a character needs 3 key elements to be good; a desire, a fear, and a flaw. the enneagram gives us all of that, making it a perfect tool for character building.

type 1 - the reformer (marinette & kagami)

core desire: to be good, right, better, perfect core fear: being evil/ corrupt/ wrong flaw: judgemental, critical (esp of themselves)

type 2 - the helper (nino & sabrina)

core desire: to be loved core fear: being unwanted, unloved, unworthy flaw: manipulative, coercive

type 3- the achiever (chloe & lila)

core desire: being valuable, worthwhile core fear: being worthless flaw: exploitative, deceptive, narcissistic

type 4 - the individualist (gabriel, zoe)

core desire: identity, significance core fear: being insignificant, oblivion, the void flaw: dramatic, melancholic

type 5 - the investigator (felix, max)

core desire: knowledge, understanding, being competent core fear: being incapable or incompetent flaw: reclusive, unemotional

type 6 - the loyalist (roland, mylene)

core desire: being secure, stable core fear: crisis, chaos flaw: suspicious, paranoid

type 7 - the enthusiast (adrien, kim)

core desire: experience, fulfillment core fear: deprivation, missing out flaw: impulsive, materialistic

type 8 - the challenger (alya, majestia)

core desire: autonomy core fear: being harmed, controlled flaw: dominating, confrontational

type 9 - the peacemaker (luka, master fu)

core desire: harmony core fear: conflict, separation from others flaw: self-forgetting, indolent

of course a character can have more desires, fears, and flaws than just these! the enneagram will just be a jumping off point for you. for example, knowing a type 9 character yearns for peace with everyone, fears separation, and can't say no to anybody can also extend into further study. they can't say no, so they become detached from their friends and family so they don't HAVE to say no, then end up not being there for them when it's important. and boom there you go, character conflict 👉🏼👉🏼thank you enneagram!

i hope this helps you and makes your characters sparkle off the page 💖 please don't ever hesitate to send me more enneagram asks 😍 you know i am obsessed.

check out these links for more!

the miraculous enneagram post nobody asked for

the enneagram institute

[theninthdoor]

https://theninthdoor.tumblr.com/post/721370039430807552/can-you-do-bad-sidesquestionnable-reading-for

I see you've done this! Tysm. May I please request the same of stray kids as well? Have a nice day!!

request: Stray Kids' questionable/bad sides again… before you read: make sure that you take everything with a grain of salt and put your common sense to good use! no human being is 100% angel; no one is perfect + some of these things we, ourselves, do or think of doing from time to time. still, if anyone is expecting idols to be some sort of perfect demi-gods, the internet might not be for you 💘 also, of course, i’m not claiming anything as facts. feel free to dismiss my interpretations, if you wish.

Bang Chan || knight of swords rx, the chariot: Domineering. Wants to lead + to feel the strongest, even if it requires some gaslighting. Lacks tact, at times. May miss some social cues without realizing. Uses rudeness as a way to mask his insecurities. Uses his career achievements as his whole identity.

Lee Know || the hermit, the world: Keeps too many secrets; really bad at communicating and being honest about his thoughts and opinions. Silence is always the solution for him, just not for everybody else. It's never him that has to change, but others; others must adapt to him, not him to them. A know-it-all, too.

Changbin || nine of wands rx, two of cups: He wants his friends/family/partners to have the exact same opinions and tastes as him. Plus, he can't stand feeling left out, so bet he's going to be jumping through hoops to be everywhere all time just so they don't have a chance to keep things from him - he must be present and informed, at all times! Changbin is also very paranoid and overprotective, has poor boundaries and may sometimes become quite co-dependent. He simply can't be alone for too long.

Hyunjin || knight of cups, justice: He knows how to sweet-talk someone to get whatever he wants. Hyunjin will become whoever you wish him to become in order to accomplish his own goals. He's well aware of his image + the of the power he holds over others, and he's not afraid of using it. Besides that, he also gets way too invested in things, even to the point of being completely unrealistic with his plans and expectations. Everyone is "the one" for him at least once.

Han || knight of cups, eight of wands rx: Loses interest very quickly; starts or buys things on a whim, but forgets about them overnight. In love with the idea of love, but doesn't feel like going through all of the hard work that relationships require. Often lets his emotions control him more than he controls them; definitely keeps his rose tinted glasses close by. But, again, soon he's onto the next thing (or person of interest)…

Felix || the hanged man rx, two of pentacles: He's never happy with what he has; always thinks others have it easier or better than him. Very impulsive; regrets his decision as soon as he makes them. Felix never learns… he'll make the same mistake a thousand times and still not understand what he's doing wrong. Keeps busy to avoid certain people/situations/issues.

Seungmin || four of pentacles, queen of wands: Greedy; what's his is his, and he's not going to share it with anybody. Way too proud. Likes attention and compliments a little too much. Materialistic; uses material things to get the attention/compliments that he's looking for.

I.N || the tower rx, nine of cups rx: Tends to sweep things under the rug instead of facing his issues properly. I.N's always expecting the worst, so quite often he might run away before the situation has had time to develop. Hates change more than anything - even good and necessary change! Might throw a big ol' tantrum every now and then.

(Disclaimer: All readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[behoright]

love countdown | a. svechnikov

summary: Y/N and Andrei are best friends, however Andrei’s feelings start to change once Rod announces the team’s new best friends roadie. 

wordcount: 610

warnings: cursing. I suck at writing. this was first posted on @ryanpulock ‘s ask. I just have a lot of horny thoughts - many more (n longer)  chapters coming. will soon include 18+ ᵒᵒᵖˢ  

   ⊹       🦢       ⌣ 

Andrei didn't know what was going on with him. He couldn't understand what had changed. He had been in Raleigh for a while now, and he loved it but it still got lonely sometimes. He loved his job, teammates, and fans, but at the end of the day, he always went to sleep by himself. He had tried to fill that void with a million girls, with being the last person at the rink, with the cheering from the crowds, but it just didn't do the trick. That's why when he met you, he realized you were the closest person to him that reminded him of family. You lived so differently from him - went to school and worked on your internship, had a close knit group of friends, cooked and grounded yourself in your free time while he spent most of his trying to forget how quiet his apartment was. He really cherished you; of course he had thought about you in that way, but he didn't want to ruin the bond you shared - whenever he felt the impulse, he could just match with a girl and have her over in 30 minutes to make him forget about you, momentarily at least. It all started when Rod announced - "We are thinking about organizing a family and friends roadie. We do mentors and moms every year, and we thought you guys could use an extra fun trip at this point in the season. If everyone is okay with that and has someone to bring, a friend or family member to introduce to your teammates, let us know and we'll do it". The locker room filled with cheer and enthusiasm, and Andrei couldn't help but awkwardly smile - another reminder that he couldn't bring his brother, his best friend; all of his friends in Russia wouldn't make it, no matter how quick he booked a flight. He was absolutely fucked.

The next morning, while on the bus on the way to the next game, his teammates noticed something was off. “I just..ugh. I don’t have many friends here to bring. I don’t know what I will do.”. Martinook and Jarvy looked at each other, making the realization. Yes, the kid had been here for years now, but he was incredibly devoted to his craft and spent most if not all of his time with them or on the ice: they were his family. That’s until Pyotr, eavesdropping, popped up from the seats behind them. “You have friend. Y/N.” Everyone looked at each other, confused as to who this girl was, one they had never heard of. Andrei’s eyebrows dropped, face blushing, and he turned his gaze back to the window. “Who is.. um.. Y/N, Svechy?” the boys asked, trying their best to hide the smirks on their faces. Pyotr tried his best to explain, “Best friend. Always together.”. Andrei snapped back at Pyotr in Russian, and the two started an intelligible conversation for a couple of minutes, while his teammates curiously observed. It all ended with Pyotr, rolling his eyes and looking at the rest of the team, now all gathered around the little group. Andrei felt the pressure, just couldn’t even attempt to explain the asinine idea Koochie was bringing up to his teammates, one that made the pit in his stomach grow bigger and bigger. “You bring Y/N. Perfect for trip.” If any of the boys wanted to say anything, the conversation ended with Rod, a couple of rows forward and eyes focused on his newspaper, announcing “Bring the girl, kid. It’s only a week and now we all want to meet her. End of story.” 

Shit.

[ga-yuu]

-----Part 1-----

Sueharu: "There is something about you that turns me on."

Sueharu: "You're innocent, brave, reckless yet smart."

Sueharu: "I'm teasing you because I think you're cute. But then you have this sexy look on your face."

Sueharu: "I never get tired of it and I find myself getting more and more intrigued."

(I know.......I can't trust what Sueharu-san says)

The hungry glint in his one eye makes my heart clench.

This image overlapped with Sueharu-san as a child in my head.....

(I don't want to leave Sueharu-san alone, I want to get closer to him)

(---But we're enemies)

New impulses were held deep within my body.

Yoshino: ".....I'm going to go back to my room now."

Sueharu: "Aw? Now, I'll be lonely."

------Options-------

Full of lies

Me too

I'm not lonely at all

-------

I felt frustrated for being teased all the time that now I wanted to get back at him, maybe just a little bit.

Yoshino: "Me too."

Sueharu: "......."

Sueharu: "Heh, I guess we feel the same."

Sueharu-san smiled softly and came closer...

(Eh? Ah)

Sueharu: "Goodnight, Yoshino."

He kisses my bangs and I stopped breathing for a moment.

(If I react, I'll lose...)

I stood up and looked down at Sueharu-san.

Yoshino: ".....Goodnight, Sueharu-san."

The more conscious I become, the more my voice rises and I turn away to hide my hot face.

I left the room, pretending not to hear the laughter behind me.

After Yoshino leaves....

Sueharu: ".......I didn't think she'd think that I was being serious."

Sueharu quietly looked up at the moon from the porch.

Sueharu: "There's no way Yoshino can understand feelings that I don't even understand myself."

Sueharu: "I've slipped up a lot tonight, but..."

Gently he pressed his cheek with his hand.

Sueharu: "Am I that drunk? No way, not with that much....That's impossible."

The pale moon did not answer his mumbled questions.

............

Despite my restlessness at the unexpectedly close distance, the journey to Kyoto continued the next day....

A few days later, we finally arrived in Kyoto.

(The investigation is finally starting!)

Morinaga: "Well, me and Benkei will hide out in town to keep a low profile."

Sueharu: "I know. Yoshino and I will take care of the official investigation on our own."

Benkei: "Call me if you need me, Sueharu."

Sueharu: "Yes yes."

Benkei: "You idiot. You only say 'yes' once."

Sueharu: "Yesss."

Benkei: "Don't say 'yessss'."

Sueharu-san quickly avoided the fist dropped by Benkei.

Sueharu: "Ah, my face! Yoshino let's go!"

-----Part 2-----

Sueharu: "Ah, my face! Yoshino let's go!"

Yoshino: "Ah? Yes!"

Sueharu: "I'm so excited. It's just gonna be the two of us now."

Yoshino: "Stop saying it like that! This is not a date!"

Morinaga: "Don't forget about the mission, okay!"

Sueharu: *sighs* "I can't hear you."

(It's completely the same old Sueharu-san)

In the sun, the scar hidden by the eye patch suddenly comes to mind.

Sueharu-san's memories of the past.

(But I think what Sueharu-san is hiding behind this aloof attitude is....something much more heavy)

There is a part of Sueharu-san that neither Morinaga-san nor Benkei can touch.

Sueharu: "Yoshino?"

Yoshino: "N-Nothing."

I stopped thinking and looked at everyone's faces.

Yoshino: "Then I'll take my leave, Morinaga-san. Benkei."

Morinaga: "Yeah, good luck. If there's anything I can do to help, I will."

Benkei: "Be careful. Some of the nobles are scumbags."

Benkei: "Don't leave Sueharu's side as much as possible."

Yoshino: "Yes...! I'm sorry Sueharu-san, but you're going to have to stay with me for a while."

Sueharu: "Of course. Let's go----"

(Wow)

Sueharu-san takes my hand and easily interwines with his fingertips.

Yoshino: "Sueharu-san! Even if we don't hold hands...."

Sueharu: "You heard them right!? We have to stick as CLOSE as possible. I can't let go of a pretty girl like you. Let's turn right at the corner over there."

Yoshino: "Ah w-wait!"

Morinaga-san and Benkei see us off and we walked towards the mainstreet.

...........

Sueharu: "Look, Yoshino. This is what typical Kyoto is like."

Yoshino: "It's a very gorgeous town!"

Yoshino: "Kamakura is developing, but Kyoto has a different atmosphere."

(If it wasn't for the investigation, I'd like to walk around town)

Sueharu: "Kyoto is a town of court nobles. Kamakura is a town of the samurai."

Sueharu: "Don't be fooled by pretty looks. You could get yourself in trouble in Kyoto."

Yoshino: "I'll keep that in mind..."

Instinctively I straightened my back and nodded.

Yoshino: "By the way, what should we do about our investigation? Are we going to ask people who work in the official residences, or....?"

Sueharu: "No. I don't want to be bothered by it. It's a hassle and I'd rather connect with the person directly."

-----Part 3-----

Yoshino: "By the way, what should we do about our investigation? Are we going to ask people who work in the official residences, or....?"

Sueharu: "No. I don't want to be bothered by it. It's a hassle and I'd rather connect with the person directly."

(Huh? Directly?)

Yoshino: "The other party is a nobleman. Is it that easy to get through to them?"

Sueharu: "Itis..."

With a wicked smile, Sueharu-san held up his index finger.

Then....

A few hours late,. I was taken by Sueharu-san to a large mansion.

Yoshino: "Sueharu-san, where are we?"

Sueharu: "It's the residence of one of the court officials I lent money to. The subject of this investigation...should also be acquainted with Sadakatsu-sama."

(Lend money?)

While waiting for the court noble in the guest room, my eyes widened in surprise.

Yoshino: "A merchant gives loans to nobles....is that possible!?"

Sueharu: "You'd be surprised how many nobles spend money like it's hot water and end up poor."

Sueharu: "Since the rise of Yoritomo-kou, political power has been shifting to the samurai."

Sueharu-san replied matter-of-fact.

Sueharu: "Nobles like that, who is on the verge of collapsing but values their image, comes to me secretly."

(I know he's saying it lightly, but it's a big thing)

(No matter how high rank you are, you can't be as strong as the person who you owe money to, can you?)

Yoshino: "I think I now understand a little better what Sueharu-san meant when he said that 'merchants can also be strong'."

Sueharu: "See, I told you."

Sueharu-san smiles with a regretful smile.

Sueharu: "It's a good thing for me, that nobles with good family background want to avoid ugly stories."

Sueharu: "And when I give loans to them, it will also help me in times like this."

(Now I know why Morinaga-san asked Sueharu-san to investigate....)

As we chatted while we waited, the door opens...

Court noble: "Kichiji. What is the reason for you to come all the way here without any notice?"

Sueharu: "Sorry for coming without a notice, but it was an urgent matter."

Sueharu-san did not seem intimidated by the man who came in and said a few words.

Court noble: "And that woman over there?"

(...! He's asking about me!)

Sueharu: "Ah, my assistant, Yoshino."

-----Part 4-----

Court noble: "And that woman over there?"

(...! He's asking about me!)

Sueharu: "Ah, my assistant, Yoshino."

Court noble: "Assistant? That's unusual..."

Yoshino: "My name is Yoshino! Thank you for having me here!"

Court noble: "...Yeah."

The court noble looked at me suspiciously as I bowed my head.

Then he immediately turned to Sueharu-san.

Court noble: "I-If you're here for the money, it's still not due date yet."

The court noble spoke quickly as if he was trying to get Sueharu-san off his back in panic.

Sueharu: "No no. Don't worry about that. I'm here for another matter."

Sueharu: "You, with your generous heart, will grant this merchant's trifling wishes, right?"

(Despite the tone sounding polite, I can feel the intense pressure..!)

Court noble: "....W-What is it? Tell me."

Sueharu: "Well."

Sueharu: "I want you to host a banquet. Make it as extravagant as possible."

Court noble: "Banquet?"

Sueharu: "Do it for any reason and don't worry about the money. I'll pay for it no matter how costly it is. So don't hold back."

Court noble: "No..that's.."

I could see that the nobleman's heart was shaken as I watched from nearby.

Court noble: "But what is the purpose? How is it possible for someone like Kaneuri Kichiji to provide funds for free?"

Sueharu: "----Please don't pry. And please don't do anything extra other than what I ask you to."

The court noble's shoulder trembled as he was cut off bluntly.

(Even though Sueharu-san speaks very formally, his position seems higher than this person)

Sueharu-san suddenly narrowed his eye at the nobleman, whose shoulders slumped in agitation.

Sueharu: "It's not easy these days to have parties like in the past."

Sueharu: "It's a good way to show the prestige of your family."

Court noble: "T-That's true..but.."

A desire flickered in his eyes.

Court noble: "Okay. I'll do it."

Court noble: "Also, I'm not suppose to be telling people about the money, right?"

Sueharu: "Of course, I don't tell anyone. Pretend it's all yours."

Court noble: "Y-Yes."

(He's being completely manipulated by Sueharu-san but....he doesn't seem to be losing anything either. So it's fine, I guess?)

I was inwardly impressed by Sueharu-san's ability to use both candy and the whip.

Sueharu: "Oh yes, please invite the people mentioned on this list among the guests."

Sueharu: "Both me and Yoshino will also attend, and a few wealthy merchant families."

------Part 5------

Sueharu: "Oh yes, please invite the people mentioned on this list among the guests."

Sueharu: "Both me and Yoshino will also attend, and a few wealthy merchant families."

A list of names were given by Sueharu-san and there were several names in addition to Sadakatsu-sama.

(Maybe you seem to be making it difficult to understand that this is an investigation about Sadakatsu-sama)

Sueharu: "So that's one thing I'd like to ask you."

Sueharu: "I will send my men to you later to discuss the necessary arrangements."

Sueharu-san urged me and we quickly left the room.

............

Three days later...

Sueharu: "Well, let's see. Shall we change and go to the banquet, Yoshino?"

Yoshino: "Yes!"

We visited the mansion again and rented a guest room.

Yoshino: "I'm amazed that so many guests were able to attend on such a short notice."

Sueharu: "The court nobles like to throw big parties."

Sueharu: "And of course, Sadakatsu-sama will be there, too."

(I'm also accompanying Sueharu-san today....as his mistress at the banquet)

(It's okay. But I feel anxious)

Sueharu: "Yoshino."

Sueharu: "Are you, by chance, feeling weak?"

(How did you know!?)

Yoshino: "No, it's because...playing Sueharu-san's mistress is not a small role, right?"

Yoshino: "I've never ever spoken to upper-class people."

Sueharu: "Oh. That won't be a problem. Everything will be alright."

(He looks so light!)

Sueharu: "No matter what we look, we're all humans anyway."

Yoshino: "Hmm. I guess you're right.....?"

Tilting my head, I thought for a second.

Then a warm palm touched my back.

(Ah....)

Sueharu: "What kind of person you become depends on how you feel."

Sueharu: "Only a handful of people know who they are from the start."

He blinks and it felt strangely real.

Sueharu: "Hey, Yoshino. Do I look like one of those people?"

I stared back into Sueharu-san's eyes.

Yoshino: "Yes."

Yoshino: "....If I hadn't heard anything about your past."

Sueharu: "That's an honor."

(I wonder if Sueharu-san used to be anxious too)

Yoshino: "Sueharu----"

He pressed his index finger against my lip.

Yoshino: "Mm."

Sueharu: "Now, I'm going to cast a special spell on you."

Guide To Being A Bad Woman - Premium story

[captainschaos]

Everyone knows the phoenix and the demon. Easy! Tango, firebird, the ever-furious and ever-alight, and Impulse, the horned and summoned, from a realm not of here. Now there's two fiery folk, easy beacons to spot in the night, with roaring laughs and flickering fingers which work the wires. Horrible enemies to make, but generally friendly enough, if you haven't particularly wronged them. But there are two others with them, who you might not even realize you don't understand as well as the first pair.

Skizz bursts to the front with a hearty greeting and ready kindness, and everyone thinks they know exactly what he is! The angel, right? With wings tall and broad, flickering as they decide whether they are here or there. A distortion many assume is a halo, a ring of light (if you catch it at the right angle) that frames his head. And they're not... wrong? But not quite right either.

Would you call a grim reaper an angel?

Maybe you would, depending on your personal thoughts on the idea, really. Particularly if you consider the similarities to the guardian angel, another figure standing tall and imposing, but with the kindness Skizz is known for. But what most don't know is that these are two sides of the same coin. His post is simply on the opposite side of death. A guardian angel patrols a person's life, but he is the one waiting with a steady smile and a gentle hand to guide and protect them when it comes time for them to move on.

If you're confused, you might ask Impulse about him.

"Oh, Skizz? We don't really ask about it too much. I don't like to focus all too much on the hellish side of my life, and I think he prefers to think about the earthly part of his."

But few people will get around to asking. No one really thinks to, quite frankly, and Skizz is alright with that. Not that he wants to hide it, but... it's just nicer to blend in with the gang, y'know? He's always liked the life games for how they let him get in touch with the sides of life he typically can only watch and wish about. He gets to fight like the guardian angels, to cultivate that fierce loyalty, and to just be physical. In every way. Overflowing at the seams, physical and alive. He'd rather forget about the whole reaper business while he can.

There's the other one, though. Now Etho- no one thinks they understand him, and everyone gave up on trying to a long time ago. Etho, the ever-looming shadow at the back of the group, the gaze you can't seem to stop feeling on the back of your neck. He's an enigma. A mystery. And everyone seems to have reached a point of contentedness with this. Few attempt to dive deeper, simply accepting that Etho is not an entity to be understood, but certainly to be feared.

And yet. Well... that's not really correct either.

In some ways, Etho is far more understandable than anyone realizes. After all, there's certain rules to fae. Names have power. Deals are contracts. At least, to a certain extent- they're a bit fuzzy around the edges, of course. What can you expect from creatures woven from such magic and mystique? But still, fae can be expected to be the unexpected. Practically half the Hermitcraft server is some sort of fae or another after all, so they have some idea of what makes those sorts tick. And yet Etho seems to bewilder even them. No one tries to discern how he works- he just does.

If you were really curious about it, you might ask Tango. He'd probably laugh at you though.

"What's Etho? You might as well ask what species the ocean is! Who knows, man. He's definitely the most fae of any of us, but no one knows a single thing past that. Sometimes I wonder if he even knows, honestly."

And yet he makes a strange sort of sense, should you pay attention to it. Behind every action of his, there's a surprisingly clear reason. Why does he trust you? Because of the gift you gave him three weeks ago. Why does he refuse to help you? Because you slighted him, and he hasn't gotten you back yet. These motivations come from the smallest of interactions, but he will remember. In the life games... that's dangerous. There is a looming fear that shrouds him not necessarily because of what you don't know about him, but because of what you don't know about yourself. You didn't forget to pay him back when you promised, did you? You made sure to steer clear of trampling his crops, right? You can never be sure of what you might be forgetting. And there's always the chance that is the detail he chose to remember, stitched up neatly and tightly in his mind, with a deadly needle.

The kind smile at the front, the diligent eye at the back. It's rare to see them side by side, and yet it is even rarer to see them apart. They fought for the same army in the first of the life games, one the berserker, one the deadly tactician. They found themselves fighting the same battles again in the next round, pulling away from each other as they separated their always warring teammates, but united in a two-man army in the war against that war. Skizz was gone for the game of soulmates, but now- of course they are together. No one would think to draw the line connecting them. But there would be something quite wrong to see a line separating them.

And let's just say no one wants to find themself across any line from them.

[I plan on having one of these per week of the series ! 1/?]

Next

[darlingmissmoth]

Hi, my name is Moth and, uh, with “encouragement” from @babacontainsmultitudes (aka: “you should do it” and I went “yeah okay”) I have decided to do… A little (not a little) rambling about the kiddads (mostly Twin Focused, but still) cause I have many thoughts and feelings, most of which I tend to keep hidden but I have a blog and I’m making that everyone’s issue.

This probably won’t be totally coherent because my thoughts like to jump from point to point erratically so I’ll try to organize to the best of my ability? But there’s a good chance I’ll be all over the place! And it’s probably going to be… Very Fucking Long as a warning lmao

Anyway, uh, stuff under the read more :)

I’ve seen a lot of wild takes about the kiddads and their actions, and the general view on Sparrow is… Very Negative, from what I’ve gathered. I’ve seen a lot more positive as of late, but I still see a lot of hate. Which I get! If you do a skim of all he’s done, it isn’t a great picture. Telling your kid you aren’t proud of them, training your kids from a young age to kill things, his anger and upset, it isn’t good.

Then, of course, there’s Lark who tends to excuse Sparrow’s actions or try to smooth them over, it appears he’s the main one who did Hero’s training, and his anger is rough as well.

Then we have Grant and Nicky, one of whom is Overbearing, the other Distant.

All in all, the kiddads are, well… Not Great Parents to put it lightly.

But I think a lot of people tend to view all their actions through the lives of their own lives or what is “rational”, totally forgetting that the circumstances around the teen’s raising, around the kiddad’s lives, are not rational.

At the age of 11, all of them got kidnapped by their grandparents! And sold into slavery! They weren’t sure if they’d see their parents again! And while most of them took it in pretty good stride, they were 11 and most likely didn’t see the inherent danger of the situations they were in until they all got spirited away to Castle Ravenloft, where they had to deal with their grandparents and, no doubt, the abuse they dealt.

Both Nicky and Lark went through Real Life Or Death Experiences (not to say the other kids didn’t, but they were the only ones we see in S1 who got anywhere near actually dying) - and of them, Lark was the only one who felt death. It may have been a fake body, but that doesn’t change the fact that he actually felt himself die.

Grant had to kill something in such a horrible and gruesome way that we actively saw the way it changed his life. He got fucked up from it! Really badly. Mans is numb and struggling to feel anything which, of course, leads to a lot of self hate and self destructive habits.

And then, after all of this, Lark was manipulated by one of their abusers to stab his father and release The Doodler, which he didn’t fully understand the consequences of because, again, he’s 11. He was A CHILD.

Now he’s saddled with the knowledge he ended the world. He doomed his family, his friends, all because of an impulsive decision that he was manipulated into doing, yet he isn’t aware it was manipulation. He thinks it was just… Him. He chose to do it.

And now he, and all his friends, are wandering around trying to figure out how to stop this World Ending Creature that used to live in his family’s blood and it all seems terribly hopeless. But they keep trying. Because what else can you do? What is your other option? And he’s given a prophecy that says that his (or his twin’s) first born is the Only Thing that can stop said World Ending Creature. At the age of, like, 15.

Sparrow, who feels just as guilty for it, takes this onto his shoulders because he probably doesn’t want that tacked onto his brother’s conscious as well. Raising a kid just to be a tool because it’s either that or they continue to let this creature that he and his twin unleashed.

What were their other options? What other choices did they have? Let the world - the worlds - continue to die? They had to do something, and the only thing that would have worked - apparently - is to have this kid.

Meanwhile, Grant gets a kid and they’re in the fucking apocalypse, so of course he’s going to shelter his kid. He remembers what happened to him when he was put under extreme stress and in a life or death situation and he doesn’t want that for his baby. He loves Lincoln so much, loves his husband so much. Was it right to totally isolate him? No! Probably not! But he was terrified of the world, and he had every right to be.

A lot of people judge the kiddads under the lenses of our current world, but they need to remember that isn’t the setting. That isn’t their world. Maybe when they were children, but not now. Not when we see the teens.

Their world is a dying one, it’s scary, it’s dangerous. They did the best with the trauma they were saddled with, in a world that they were the cause of and could die in every single day. Do you think you could do better? Truly?

They did the best in the situations they were in, and for Grant, maybe he shouldn’t have had a kid. But he did! His husband wanted one and they were given one and they were small and innocent and sweet and Grant was smitten instantly. And people seem to forget he was a good dad! Lincoln turned out good! He’s smart and kind and gentle. He loved his dads so fucking much and didn’t realize anything was wrong until he was shoved into a position he shouldn’t have been in.

Grant raised him well. He raised him with love and adoration and did his best.

Sparrow and Lark did, too. They love their kids! No one can deny that! Sparrow and Lark love their kids. But it’s a dangerous world, and they knew at least one of their kids is the only hope humanity has. They had to make sure she could defend herself, she could take it down when the time came.

People also point at the homecoming scene for Sparrow and Lark and I agree that it wasn’t good. They fucked up. But it’s also made so, so clear that Sparrow loves Normal deeply. He adores his son. But it’s also canon that Normal reminds Sparrow of his younger self, who Sparrow is not proud of, and he desperately wanted better for his son. And Normal, had Sparrow and Lark not manifested, would have never known his dad wasn’t proud of him.

Which means Sparrow never let that show! Sometimes parents aren’t proud of their kid’s decisions, that’s just the long and short of it. And that should be okay. It should be okay to not agree with something your child does. But the important thing is that you don’t show it. And Sparrow NEVER DID. He NEVER ONCE showed Normal that he wasn’t proud. He showed love first and foremost always.

Which is why it came as a shock when he revealed otherwise. So he was doing good! He was a good parent!

Did they fumble? Yes. I’m not saying that any of them are totally blameless. They messed up a lot. They should have made better decisions. But they were also horribly traumatized, lost their innocence of childhood at the age of 11, and had to grow up in a doomed world with guilt on their shoulders and the fate of the world in their hands.

All of this to say that they are complex. They are human. At the core of this sillyfunny podcast, that is something that remains consistent. These aren’t characters on a traditional Hero’s Journey. They are regular people thrust into impossible situations that have to figure out how to cope with it on their feet. They’re flawed, they make bad decisions, and that is the point. They aren’t meant to be perfect or always know what to do. All of them are shades of gray. None of them are truly evil or truly good because no person is.

They’ll fuck up. They’ll make bad decisions spurred on by guilty consciouses or emotions. Some decisions won’t be rational because humans aren’t. We are made up of emotion and memory and personal values, and we make our decisions based around those things.

They aren’t perfect. They aren’t meant to be. They are complex and they are beautiful for that.

I’m sure there’s more I could say, but this is long enough as is, uh. If you want to hear more I guess either dm me or shoot me an ask about specific characters idk

Thanks for reading

[acourtofthought]

listen I wasn’t sure about Lucien and Elain becoming rulers of a court but I came across some of your posts and I’m nowcompletely on board!!! Especially seeing your post about elain being a hidden boss. Like I totally see it now. She has the qualities of a leader who keeps composure at all times and doesn’t show face, tends to put others needs over their own, wants peace. She is a negotiator !!!

Yeah!!! I'm always happy seeing Elain love in the fandom ❤️

Your last line stands out to me because not only is there canon evidence for it "Feyre gave and gave for years. Let us now help her. Help others" (delivered in a firm though not demanding manner) but I think we're going to find that it's a role she took on well before that, during their childhood.

In SF we have Nesta telling us that she (Nesta) and Feyre had always been at each others throats, arguing back and forth and I think Elain as the middle sister felt she had to try to diffuse that tension by staying somewhat neutral. She's the only sister who maintained a decent relationship with both sisters AND her father for years and that speaks to her ability to see each one of their perspectives. Maybe some think that's a cowardly way of handing things, not standing up and arguing for who or what is right but.....sometimes what is right is not always cut and dry, something I think is evident in this fandom. Some will claim Nesta was in the wrong when it came to Feyre, some say Feyre was in the wrong when it came Nesta. But the truth lies somewhere in the middle and I think a good leader makes an attempt to understand all sides. Where decisions are not made impulsively but after trying to see the varying perspectives.

It's something I think she and Lucien have in common and what will make them a power duo.

Some argue how terrible he was for not standing up to Tamlin more in ACOMAF but they forget why he wasn't as pushy as they think he should have been (and no, it's not just because he was also being abused by Tamlin):

"We need order Feyre. We need rules, and rankings, and order, if we're going to stand a chance of rebuilding. So what he says goes. I am the first one the others look to - I set the example. Don't ask me to risk the stability of this court by pushing back."

Feyre calls Lucien Tamlin's "faithful dog" but is a male worried about the needs of an entire people who spent 50 years terrorized by Amarantha, trying to help them rebuild and figure out how to live, really a "dog"? Did the needs of one female who had only been their world for less than a year really trump that of everyone else?

As the FMC of course we wanted to see everyone bending over backwards for Feyre but that's not really how leadership works. Sometimes a leader hovers in the middle in order to do what is best for the most people rather than to doing what is right for one.

And back to Elain, I think some look at her and consider her weak because she stays in more of a neutral territory but she's shown that when there is a clear answer, she does fight for it. She found a place for the humans during the war. She stood up to Nesta to allow the Human Queens to meet in their home (despite what it meant for Elain's own engagement). She hates violence but was willing to stab the king to save her sister and Cassian.

Isn't attempting neutrality and peace as the initial course of action then taking more decisive action only when necessary a good thing?

She's just not impulsive and outspoken so I think people miss how she's taking everything in before coming to a conclusion, considering all sides and I think that sets her up to be an incredibly fair leader with Lucien (an equally rational and fair character) standing by her side.

I do think there's the need for leaders like Rhys and Feyre within the court system of Prythian, ones who are willing to do whatever is needed to save their world even if it involves burning bridges but I think the downside of that has become clear in the novella and SF. The other courts and those on the continent don't trust them and now that they're working towards peace, they aren't having luck because the others are convinced the NC is out for the NC (even thought the NC is trying to make things fair to some degree, I think them being the keepers of the Trove and Made weapons is going to lead to some being suspicious of them still). So to their more aggressive tactics, you need leaders like Elain and Lucien to balance things out, to smooth out the rough edges left behind by the NC, to help the other courts and continents to see that their needs are also being taken into consideration.

[npcgrian]

hi. no one asked for this but i feel very compelled to explain my stance on joel being referred to as a "lone wolf" because it seems to be a pretty dividing topic. i am placing him in a petri dish and using a microscope to analyze his behavior.

people seem to argue that, aside from limited life, joel has been very alone throughout the series whereas everyone else is part of some kind of group allyship. this is by far the most clearly seen in third life where the two major sides of the server practically fought over him, both of which he refused to pledge loyalty to despite trying to be allies to both, and everyone knows that if everyone is your ally, you have no allies.

everything after third life is where people disagree. a lot of people have pointed out that he was friends with scar in the beginning of last life and then later on befriended grian toward the end, but aside from that he had very little. this does disprove that he was always alone but the thing about these two friendships is that his with scar was so short lived that i barely count it as one. firstly, i think its very telling that joel was the first to turn red in last life, the one series where being red means all allyships are thrown out the window, and second, it happened so quick that the plans he and scar had may as well have not existed.

joels relationship with grian formed for two reasons: grian was kicked out of the southlands for being red, and joel was one of the only other reds at the time. obviously they make a great pair anyway so thats another reason they were so adamant on working together, but being red was definitely the fundemental reason. not that it negates their allyship in any way, but they were unlikely to have any association with each other if circumstances were different.

and of course, double life. i honestly think double life both proves and disproves the lone wolf theory. first off, i feel like it should be obvious that its impossible to try and say he was alone during this and i dont understand people who act as if joel and etho meant little to nothing to each other, but at the same time, certain elements of their relationship do, in a way, provide as further evidence for the lone wolf thing, and to explain that i also need to explain whats significant about etho.

etho is, in many ways, the polar opposite of joel. i feel like i havent seen a single person point this out and i dont know how. etho tends to follow a larger group, as seen in third life (his team with impulse and tango but also being on the side of dogwarts), last life (team best), and team ties later on in limited life. on top of that, hes even stated himself that he doesnt do well on his own which is why he prefers to follow a leader. he also takes a good while to become red and doesnt get very involved in combat until the later half of the season, another thing that was pointed out in double life (i forget who said it, i think it was etho but im not sure). joel, of course, is the opposite, being notorious for being very aggressive and reckless which more often than not leads to his own death. him being paired with etho in double life was almost like putting a curse on etho with the way they both died in such stupid ways. but the biggest takeaway from these differences is that, juxtaposed with ethos tendency to follow a larger team, joel definitely seems like hes been on his own a significant amount. double life isnt another example of joel being alone, its meant to highlight his other experiences being alone.

but what people seem to assume from the lone wolf theory is that it doesnt take into account joels loyalty, saying things like he cant be a lone wolf with how loyal he was to etho and the bad boys. in my opinion, being a lone wolf and being loyal are not mutually exclusive. being alone was his choice in third life, but ever since that ended, hes gone out of his way to try and find people he can pledge loyalty to. the point is that hes *cursed* to be a lone wolf regardless of what he wants. being assigned a partner gave him the opportunity to have someone to receive his undivided loyalty without even the option of parting, and he definitely took it. and after that ended in limited life, that was when he knew to form an alliance as quick as possible (and also brag about it to his ex soulmate to whom he no longer owes loyalty, but they had fun while it lasted at least).

the bad boys is probably the biggest reason people dislike this theory but ive also seen people point out how the curse managed to slither its way back to him just moments before his death when grian decided he would leave him to join bigb and pearl, and i dont disagree with that.

overall, i think theres points to be made both for and against the lone wolf curse, but i believe in it for the most part. this is just my opinion though, any other thoughts or comments in the notes are very welcome

[theshmaylor]

ADHD and To-Do Lists

It's a common problem we have. You create a new to-do list or start a planning journal and promise "this is the perfect way to keep a to-do list. I'm Getting Myself Together. this time I'll stick with it. this time I'll Do The Thing Correctly."

And then 4 months later you look around and it's been at least a month since you last looked at the list and you have no idea what important things you have to do and everything is an anxious spiraling mess with no structure for awhile. Then in another few months you find another guaranteed "perfect", ADHD-friendly method to keep a list and the cycle repeats again.

Well, what I've found is there is no perfect to-do list. There's only the to-do list you're willing to use in the moment, and the way to solve this problem is to make a new list before you get to the phase where everything is falling apart.

Let me explain. ADHD brains crave novelty. Without new things, we get under-stimulated and bored (this can be true for everyone, but is worse in ADHD people). That's where the symptoms of impulsivity and difficulty with long-term habits come from.

So, instead of trying to force yourself to keep and maintain the same long-term list or planner, my approach is to IMMEDIATELY create a new list when you feel yourself beginning to ignore the old list. Make it in a different place with a different method. And, most crucially, transfer the incomplete to-do items from your old list to your new list. Reword or reorder them to spice it up.

It sometimes feels silly to make a new list when the old one seems like it's still working, but doing it early lets you skip past the few months where you're left untethered with no list and constantly forgetting about important things.

When I say "different method," it doesn't have to be complicated or overly structured. Just different from what you were doing before. Some of my to-do lists have been:

An email draft

Loose sheets of lined paper

Loose sheets of unlined paper

A .txt file

In a small spiral notebook

A dedicated email account where each to-do item is an individual email sent to myself

An app on my phone with little checkboxes (specifically google Keep, but I'm sure non-google options exist)

A WordPad file

A series of post-it notes stuck on top of each other

Obviously some of these are more convenient than others for portability and accessibility, but for myself I've found that the novelty is more important than how user-friendly it is. (Your mileage may vary of course)

It can be easier said than done to recognize that you're becoming bored with the old list and to get the motivation to create a new list, so I understand if you're skeptical. This idea may not work for you, but it's been the most successful to-do list approach for me, and I'd suggest giving it a try if you've been struggling to make other things work.

[ittyybittybaker]

9, 14 & 22 for the Choose violence ask meme

9. worst part of canon:

without a doubt 100% the thanksgiving arc. i think nora could've gotten andrew off his meds w/o him having to literally be attacked in the worst possible way?? AND what happens to him at east haven, which was just unnecessary imo. like yeah riko could've implied that he would have it done but i truly don't think that it really needed to happen to have the threat be effective. just in general i would change a lot about how andrew's mental illness/medication/assault were handled !

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time:

one thing i see in fic all the time that really irks me is when people make nicky into this vapid stereotypical twink. like is he a messy bitch who lives for the drama? absolutely! and he would never want you to forget that. but he's also a complex character who's so much more than his sexuality. sure he comes on strong but i really think it's a defense mechanism, kinda like 'well this is what they think i am anyway, i might as well lean into it.' he really does have a lot of heart and he's trying to be better and to make things better for those he cares about!! of course he fucks up every now and then (he wouldn't be a fox if he didn't) but he's /trying/. and i think he deserves more than being reduced to a Gay Best Friend stereotype.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores:

idk if everyone else ignores it but i really love how willing neil is to try new things. he doesn't really have the social skills to be embarrassed by things so he just follows all his silly little impulses and i adore that about him! he's just so willing to do things even if he doesn't really understand them all for the sake of having new experiences. he goes with the upperclassmen to dinner even though he doesn't really get why they want him there. he's never celebrated halloween and yet he's totally chill showing up to a club dressed as a zombie cowboy. he doesn't really understand what he feels for andrew but he wants to see where it goes. he wants to kiss andrew's neck so he does. he's never celebrated new years and yet he's asking wymack for a new years wish!!

i feel like a lot of people use his upbringing to make him scared of change when in reality, he's just kind of vibing through life! i've said this before but if someone had taught him the phrase yolo he's use it unironically!! he truly doesn't give enough of a shit about what others think about him to feel embarrassed so he just does what's interesting to him. i feel like his attitude for most of the series is 'i could literally die tomorrow so why the fuck not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' and i love it so much. if i was a better writer (read: an actual writer at all) i'd love to explore that side of neil bc i feel like we don't talk about it enough!!