#oh Christ I hate when you guys pull me into your stupid shenanigans

[theajaheira]

so i decided to write something short for giles and jenny in that au i was talking about this morning, because i love the thought of ripper trying to keep an eye on fifteen-year-old jenny and accidentally stumbling into good life choices. there are obviously no romantic feelings on ripper’s end when jenny is a baby, obviously, but they meet five years later and giles is absolutely knocked off course by the tiny kid he used to scoop out of trouble suddenly being this confident bombshell with a steady job and a solid magical-academic reputation.

anyway: shenanigans below the cut.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you are more damn trouble than you’re worth,” snapped Ripper, scooping Janna up and tossing her unceremoniously over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Janna shrieked, outraged, and tried to kick him in the face. “Fucking stop it! You’re going to get yourself killed – which, first of all, see if I care, all the trouble you’ve put me through in the last two weeks alone, and second, you’ll probably cause me more trouble if you go and die on me! I’ll go back to the Council, see if I don’t—”

“PUT ME DOWN I HATE YOU PUT ME DOWN,” Janna was yelling at the top of her lungs, attracting the attention of absolutely everyone in the bar. Ripper was literally never going to be able to come back here. He had been flirting with that lovely barmaid, Olivia, and now he was never going to be able to see her again, because stupid Janna had somehow managed to get someone to buy her alcohol in the ten minutes he’d spent looking away from her. “I’M GONNA BITE YOUR EAR OFF YOU DICKWEED—”

“Alright, Ripper?” said Olivia, who was watching him with the same amused look that Ethan had gotten when Ripper had walked directly into a lamppost and tried to pretend it hadn’t happened. “Didn’t know you had a kid sister—”

“I’M NOT HIS SISTER!!!!!” shrieked Janna, who always seemed to get disproportionately upset whenever anyone made that assumption. Ripper felt certain his ears were bleeding. “PUT ME DOWN—!”

Entirely losing his patience, Ripper dropped Janna directly on the floor. She fell with an unpleasant-sounding thud and abruptly stopped shouting, at which point he realized that dropping a particularly tiny fifteen-year-old six feet without warning probably wasn’t a good idea. “…Janna?” he said, well aware that most of the people in the bar were giving him dirty looks.

Janna pulled herself into a sitting position with great effort, pushing her hair out of her face with one hand before going back to cradling her arm. She didn’t say anything, just bit her lip and looked angrily down at the floor. Tears were collecting in her eyes.

Oh, Christ. Dropping a fifteen-year-old girl on the floor was a bit different than dropping one of your mates on the floor. Ripper really hadn’t thought this one through. “Janna,” he said, very tentatively, and knelt down next to her on the floor.

“Leave me alone to die,” said Janna tearfully. “Less trouble for you, right?”

“I’m not – ghhh,” said Ripper. “Let’s go, all right? We’ll talk about this outside.”

“I don’t want to leave,” said Janna. “My entire life is terrible and stupid and I want to stay here forever, so leave me alone.”

“Look, I—” Ripper reached out, tempted to place a hand on Janna’s shoulder, and thought better of it. She’d probably bite off his arm or something. “C’mon, Jaybird,” he finally said. “For me?”

Janna sniffled. “You don’t even like me!”

Ah. A strange, terrifying feeling rose in Ripper’s chest – the sort of thing that usually stopped him from saying anything nice to anyone who’d found a place in his heart. But Janna was still very resolutely not looking at him, in that way that meant that she’d probably gotten quite used to hearing things much worse than Ripper’s frustrated griping, and it suddenly felt imperative to tell her something true.

“You’re fucking exhausting,” he said. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like you.”

“Don’t try and be nice to me just ‘cause I’m crying and you probably broke my arm,” snapped Janna.

“I didn’t – fuck’s sake, Janna, what do you want me to say?” Ripper shot back. “That you’re fuckin’ adorable and not half as punk as you think you are? Jesus—”

That got Janna to look at him. Eyes very wide, she said, “Y-you think I’m—”

“You can’t be punk when you’re fifteen and clinging to the back of my jacket every time you get startled by a motorcycle,” said Ripper. “At a motorcycle race.”

“—adorable?”

Obviously Ripper thought Janna was adorable. Janna carried a switchblade around and had once accidentally cut herself on it because she still didn’t know how to use it. She was a tiny anarchist and keeping her out of trouble was exhausting, but it was hard not to like a kid who was easily smarter than Randall and Phil combined. He still didn’t entirely know how to handle kids, though, and calling a kid with a switchblade adorable seemed condescending enough to get himself stabbed, so he settled with, “You are going to fuckin’ murder some guy when you grow up, Jay.”

(He meant it in the literal sense, and was not at all sure why Janna went bright pink.)

 ~~

“Oh my god,” said Jenny, five years later. “Do you remember – Giles. Do you remember that one time you tried to carry me out of a bar and almost broke my arm?”

“To some degree,” said Giles uneasily. It was certainly hard to imagine tossing Jenny around like that now, and not just because he was no longer a complete idiot. At fifteen, she’d been a scrappy little thing, unmistakably a child – and they’d parted ways long before she’d entered any awkward adolescent phase. At twenty – well.

“I should totally apologize for how much trouble I put you through,” said Jenny with a laugh. “I mean, I should. I don’t think I’m gonna. The things you were getting up to at the time, I’m surprised you were so bad at handling a fifteen-year-old with a crush.”

“I may have been summoning demons, but it wasn’t as though I was heartless,” said Giles indignantly. “I took the responsibility of looking out for you very s—I’m sorry, a fifteen-year-old with a crush?”

Jenny blinked. Very slowly, she said, “You would have had to have been a complete dunce to have missed the kind of crush I had on you five years ago.”

“A crush,” said Giles again.

“Like, we’re talking Watchers’ Council levels of incompetence.”

“You had a – who did you have a crush on?”

“It is taking everything in me not to start laughing at you right now. I really need you to know that.” Eyes sparkling, Jenny took a sip of wine. “God. I felt so certain I was obvious and you were just – I don’t know. Humoring me, or something. You really had no idea?”

“The kind of crush you had on me,” Giles repeated dazedly.

“I’ll give you a minute, sweetie,” said Jenny, and patted his forearm. Her fingertips grazed his skin as she pulled her hand away, sending an electric jolt up his spine. “But really. How oblivious do you have to be? Someone in close proximity to you who can barely speak when you even bring up the concept of romance, and you’re just like – oh, wow, they obviously see me as a friend?”

“…oblivious,” echoed Giles, who had very possibly lost all ability for critical thought.

“I can guarantee you,” said Jenny, “when I have someone interested in me like that, I am gonna notice it. You bet I will.”

[bethhxrmon]

All I Ask of You Pt. 35

“Look how far we’ve come, we can’t give in. It’s one foot forward at a time, dust off all that grit and grime, we still have a lot left to do” - “Drive” from The Lightening Thief

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female OC

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Some more Seattle shenanigans, a big part is coming!

Warnings: None???

A/N: Wooo! I’m getting these chapters out and the story is getting to an ending point. As always, I love hearing feedback and I also have the masterlist in my bio!

After what felt like hours, Peter and Annie finally got their drinks and left the coffee shop. Neither of them said anything for a few moments, and Annie was almost positive that she knew there was going to be some kind of question about what in the world had just happened. The worst part was, Annie wasn’t even sure what she would say about it. Even though, if it had been nearly nine months before, she would have had far more to say.

“So… I’m just a friend?” Peter asked.

Annie’s jaw dropped, “No, I just…”

“You didn’t want to tell her. Fine, but why? And are we going to be like that when we go back home? Because I want to know now before something like that happens again,” he said, looking down.

Annie frowned, “That was Jen, I didn’t want to tell her because she would see some form of weakness coming from me. And she probably would’ve brought you into it. I didn’t want that for you.”

“Well I could’ve taken it. You shouldn’t choose what I can and can’t handle. We’re not even going to see her again, so why does it even matter?” he questioned, looking over at her.

She sighed, holding onto the hot cup a little tighter with one hand and then using her free hand to pull Peter into an alleyway, “Look, I told you about everything that happened. Jen and Greg were a thing, I stole Jen’s role and I stole her kinda boyfriend. It was stupid, I was stupid. And she blames me for Greg killing himself, which is fine… well, not really fine, but that’s it’s own thing. And when I left, I thought I wouldn’t see her again, and then I see her and everything just kind of short circuited.”

“That’s supposed to make me feel better because… why?”

“Because, it’s not gonna happen again. Peter, I like you, I want to be with you. Trust me, if I didn’t think this was gonna work out, I would’ve said something by now.”

“Do you promise?”

Annie nodded, “Yeah, of course. Now let’s go find Ned and Harper.”

Though, they didn’t have to go far to find Ned and Harper practically sprinting down the street. Harper was dragging Ned, seeming completely confident in their direction. Ned, on the other hand, looked like a chicken running around with its head cut off.

“Hey… guys… Christ, that was a workout,” Harper panted, “We needed to find you quick…. Wait, you said… you were…” they paused for another breath, “Gonna be at the coffee shop.”

Annie grimaced, “About that… we got the caffeine, but Jen was there. Figured you wouldn’t wanna see her again.”

“Oh yeah, I totally hate that bitch. If you’d just listened to me the first time when I told you to not bother with her, you would’ve been fine,” they said.

Ned cleared his throat, “What about the actual important thing?”

“Oh, right… um… you see, when I was snooping around my parents’ place, as you do, there was a news broadcast. And, well, what had happened was, well-”

“Harper, just spit it out,” Annie said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Harper shook their head, “Carnival’s causing all kinds of destruction in the city. You guys need to get back there and, like, destroy him or something.”

“Y-you’re kidding, right?” Peter asked.

Ned frowned, “It’s not your fault, Peter, you guys needed to come up with something. We don’t know if Mr. Stark knows yet, but we figured that we should tell you guys as soon as we found out.”

“I knew something like this was happening. This is why I didn’t think leaving was a good idea. Just, we needed to stay closer. Now we’re over here and we need to get there. How bad is it?” Peter asked.

"It's pretty bad, but it's something that can wait another day. We can't just hop on over to New York, Peter. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but you know it's true. We just all need to take a deep breath and find Tony and Pepper quickly and we'll figure it out," Harper assured with a small smile, "Now, let's go get some coffee because I'm actually exhausted from all that running and sneaking around."

Annie grinned a little, "Oh yeah, how did the whole 'running around my parents' house' deal work out?"

"It went about as well as you could expect. The tuatara guy almost got us caught. But Ned was actually a freaking great lookout," Harper said, heading in a different direction.

Ned shrugged, "What can I say, I'm waiting for the CIA to sign me up already."

"I figured you'd be waiting on SHIELD or something like that," Annie commented.

Peter pouted, "I thought you were just gonna stay my guy in the chair for the rest of our natural born lives."

"I'd love to do that, but being guy in the chair pays about as well as being Spider-Man does," Ned responded.

Annie laughed, "That was some serious shade."

"Whoops... I was only pointing out the obvious," Ned said.

The teens continued down, Harper and Annie leading the way as the rain started to clear up to a slight mist. Annie wasn't sure what she should say to Peter, of there was even anything else that he wanted her to say. How in the world was she supposed to know? Everyone always claimed that girls were difficult, but Annie was finding guys to be just as difficult, if not even more so. Sure, Annie wasn't always blatant with what she wanted, but would it have killed Peter to tell her what she could have done to make things better? Then again, they had sort of been interrupted before they could really get anywhere.

Still, Peter reached out for her hand, holding it tightly. Annie breathed a small sigh of relief. Maybe he did believe her. There was no reason for him to not believe her, right? She hadn't done anything that was meant to hurt him before, and she wasn't going to start now. If anything, she wanted to try and protect him. A part of her wasn't even sure if she wanted to go back to New York. Why couldn't they just stay in Seattle? Why couldn't they just go back to Lake Tahoe and then never go anywhere else? Life would be so much easier and she could deal with whatever baggage she had there. Then, maybe if things cleared up enough, they could both consider going ahead and travel around for a little bit.

Except, Annie knew that she was neglecting some of the more obvious facts. They both had to go back to school once the summer was over. Not to mention, they both had powers. Peter always felt obligated to help people, and Annie knew that if she didn't use her powers, she would more than likely go insane. That was what had nearly happened last time. And maybe that was because she had completely isolated herself, but she also didn't doubt that ignoring her power had contributed at least a tiny bit.

"Okay, we're here, the second best coffee shop in this lovely city," Harper chirped, opening the door.

Peter looked around, "YOu don't think they'll get mad that we have some other place's coffee?"

"Not if we buy a pastry or something. Granted, most places don't care as long as you're just not loitering around. It's a city, Peter, just think about what you would normally do," Annie told him, squeezing his hand a little bit.

Ned sighed, "I um... I kinda left my wallet in my room."

"No worries, I'll cover it," Harper said, pulling out their wallet.

He shook his head, "You really don't need to do that."

"But I really insist."

"But you shouldn't, you're gonna be a broke college student."

"But it hasn't happened yet, I'm fine on money."

"But I don't want you to."

"Shut up and let me pay for your damn coffee," Harper sighed, shaking their head.

The barista looked between the four teens and smiled uncertainly, "Hello, what can I get you all?"

"I'll have one black coffee, and he'll have..." Harper trailed off.

"Um... a caramel macchiato," Ned finished.

Annie looked between Harper and Ned before leaning towards Peter, "Five bucks that they admit to having crushes on each other before we leave Lake Tahoe."

"That's gonna literally be in less than twenty four hours. Not gonna happen. I'm not taking the bet," Peter whispered.

She smirked, "Because you're scared of losing."

"No, I don't want you losing your money."

"Fine, whoever loses has to take the other out on the date of their dreams."

Peter looked at Annie, "You know it's so not going to happen. Ned hasn't had a crush on someone in ages."

"Because he hadn't met Harper yet. I know chemistry when I see it."

"Like how you know physics?"

"Shut up, Arachnerd, are you taking the bet or not?" Annie asked, crossing her arms.

Peter sighed, "Fine, I'll take it. But you better be ready to plan out the best Star Wars marathon that I've ever had."

"Deal, that's gonna be so easy. I just need to show up."

"You're lucky you're cute," Peter replied, rolling his eyes.

Annie gasped, "That's my thing! You're the cute one."

"I beg to differ."

"Yo, Lovebirds, are you getting anything or not?" Harper asked, looking between peter and Annie.

Annie thought a moment, "Yep, let's get one of those freaking huge chocolate muffins."

After finding a table and waiting for Tony and Pepper, the teenagers seemed about as calm as they could get. Which really meant everyone but Peter was relaxed. He, on the other hand, was shaking like crazy and looked like he was about to stand up and pace around the whole coffee shop.

“That’s not gonna make waiting go by any faster,” Harper remarked.

Peter sighed, “I know, but people are getting hurt.”

“People get hurt without some crazy monster terrorizing them,” Annie pointed out, “If we didn’t do this, we’d be going into a fight completely blind. Remember what happened the first time?”

“Hey, in all fairness you shocked me.”

“Not the point. We both still almost died, and that’s just what would’ve happened over and over again. But I feel like we’re actually ready now. And I would rather go into something knowing that things were going to turn out okay than end up dying.”

“Do we always need to talk about getting killed?” Ned asked.

Harper shrugged, “It’s an angsty high schooler thing, just saying.”

Right then, Tony and Pepper made it into the coffee shop, “Alright, kids, we gotta go. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

“Can’t we just leave now, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked.

Tony shook his head, “Not a great idea, you guys are gonna have it rough leaving tomorrow as it is, leaving now would make it a bit worse. And we don’t even have our things together.”

“I think having one last night with everyone together like this would be good for us,” Annie said.

Pepper nodded, “Exactly, and then after all this is over, we can let you guys all recoup together.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that,” Tony said.

Pepper raised an eyebrow, “So you were just going to have them all go back home so suddenly?”

“Either way, we need to go now! How can you think otherwise?” Peter asked.

Annie reached for his hand, “Because, it won’t make too much of a difference. Carnival is slow-acting, we’ll get it figured out. Trust me.”

“Your girlfriend’s got a point, we can leave after we’re all rested and packed tomorrow, so let’s get a jumpstart on both of those things,” Tony replied.

Annie nodded, getting up. It still felt odd, thinking about whether or not Tony was her biological father. The odds weren’t completely there, but crazier things had happened to her. But she wasn’t going to mention it to the others until she was positive it was true or not. And she wasn’t sure if Tony had done the same either.

And before she knew it, they were on the plane to go back to Lake Tahoe. Was she ready to leave again? It still felt like there was something about the city that she just couldn’t get anywhere else, but there were also things back in New York that she couldn’t get anywhere else either. She stared out the window intently, just trying to grasp the last bits of her home that she could.

Peter wrapped an arm around her, “Hey, we’ll come back here sometime, okay?”

“Well, yeah, I’d drag you back here if I had to,” she responded, smiling at him.

No one ever said that she couldn’t just visit Seattle every once in awhile. How could anyone just leave somewhere that they loved? Sure, there were things she didn’t like, but there was so much more that she cared about.

Tag List (if you wanna be added, just ask!): @flushings-here / @gaypanda / @twilightparker / @parkerpuff / @ironmaxn / @lcy-thot / @buzzinglee / @dolphinsarecuteandstuff / @moonstruckholland

[vyrerus]

Shadowbringers Hot Takes - Inspired by Bioandrunaway

So, here I am at work again instead of playing Shadowbringers ugh. I have completed the main story, and since I can’t stop listening to the music/craving the game, I figured I’d write my version of @bioandrunaway thing she’s been doin’ with reacting to each part of the expansion that stands out. Spoilers under the cut, this post will only go as far as the events of Northern Kholusia i.e. up the level 79 dungeon/trial.

Oh we’re gonna explore the trench near the Syrcus Tower huh. Ok Tataru.

Damn my wild curiosity. Only an honest death will cure me now!

Bye Tataru! Guess you don’t get to table top striptease Elezen boys this expansion o/

This expansion is going to kick me in the teeth several times with Haurchefant references, isn’t it?

Hey, why did I reach out for that dude’s crystal? I hate that guy. I kicked his ass so hard like 3 years ago.

Huh everything here is purple, and of course, the first inhabitant of this place I meet is a drunk wanderer. Haven’t had a Dark Night in 100 years? Well, I’m on Dark Knight right now, I think I’ve got you covered.

I didn’t have him covered. ALSO STEP OFF SYPHA, GO BACK TO CASTLEVANIA YOU STUPID HAWTIE!

Crystal Exarch huh? Dude, I recognize your lips. I RECOGNIZE YOUR FUCKING LIPS! It’s just fucking G’raha Tia, and I swear to god if I’m wrong about this, then who the fuck has identical lips to his semi unique ass MIqote face.

Crystarium is nice... except for the map being almost Yuhtunga Jungle levels of shit tier.

Also does the Crystal Exarch have a crystal dick? Asking for science.

Gotta meet the twins first huh? *immediately b-line for Alisae* What? What?! She’s best waifu!

I guess your sidequest was interesting too Alphinaud. I bet I fight that fat fuck for the 77 or 79 dungeon or some shit. Definitely seems like the antagonist for this world.

Soylent Meol is made of people, calling it now.

I’m going to have to kill the jester bitches, aren’t I?

Mrs. Chai is so pure. I guess that’s good fat people rep? I wonder if Mr. Chai was mad that Alphinaud drew her fat as she was.

Alphinaud really could make a living as an artist.

Kholusia seems really down trodden. I also keep calling it Felusia like from Star Wars, despite Felusia from Star Wars being more akin to Il Mheg. i hope the mysterious northern half makes up for the lackluster south half.

Got the twins, now we gotta save some town huh?

First dungeon is DOPE! First two bosses were Sin Eaters from Alibae’s quest. Sorry Tesleen :( FINAL BOSS IS AWESOME SHB BOSS MUSIC IS AWESOME! Also I miss convalesence and awareness.

Sypha(Lyna) told me that I took a shower in the light. Guess I know what’s on her mind we she’s staring at me with her big bunny eyes.

Night time now, all the people are in wonder. Most of them have never seen the night sky. 

Eulmore ANGREEEEEEEEEE

Crystal Dicksarch has balls of crystal.

Oh hi again Ardbert. You gonna act like we’re chums now, despite trying to split my face in half with your axe on several occasions?

Oh no, Eulmore kidnapped... Minfilia?

There have been like a dozen Minfilias? What?!

Ooh, I’m a tower guard now. Finally, I can be as majestic as the tower guards from Dragon Age 1 who help you slay the Ogre at the top of the tower.

Eulmorons are chump change. Wait, who’s this discount Mulan extra? Wait, I had 90k HP and was kicking his ass, he couldn’t touch me... and I still have 40k HP left, and I’m regening 9k HP a tic, how is this even close to over old man?

Thanks Thancred, this sure is reminiscent of that time when you saved me in Heavensward from Ardbert.

Crystal Dicksarch just cock slapped Ran Jit, and Ran Jit didn’t much care for that.

IL MHEG! YEEHAW! SO PRETTY SO MUCH HARP IN THE MUSIC OMG, ALIBAE I’M SORRY BUT URIANGER PICKED THE PERFECT PLACE TO LIVE! I WANT TO MOVE IN WITH HIM!

Toad in a tux. Always take your time on the bridge crossing, there’s no need to sprint.

Heh they tried to drown me, unaware of my ability to not need air underwater.

Dog Fae spirit people. Neat!

Gotta get the last magic mcguffin from a big fat ass Amaro who just so happens to be Ardbert’s old mount. He says our souls look the same. I’m sure that won’t come up again and is hinting on nothing strongly.

Titania boss fight is one half beauty, on half nightmare. 

Feo Ul is the new Titania, and she is a boss bitch! Gonna show those Eulmorons why it was a bad idea to come to Urianger’s neck of the woods.

You are Emet Selch huh? This point probably happened earlier, but it’s all jumbled for me now. Anyway, Emet, honey, baby, doll, tell me something I don’t know, ok?

Oh he likes to chat between CSes, neat.

We’re off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Raktika!

Yshtola, what the fuck? Oh, I’ll have to forgive you, because of course you can’t be wrong. Whatever. I wonder how much life she’s got left to live, what with Matoya telling us her life was shorter for her forbidden magic use.

An Emet said, “Fuck this shit I’m out.”

Dark Cult #1 seems pretty nice

Dark Cult #2 is not as nice.

Ronka rhymes with Tonka. I DEMAND A RONKA TRUCK

Eulmorons back at it again. I’m pretty sure if they’d just let me kill Ran Jit now, it would save us a whole load of trouble, but alas, it’s not in this juncture of the script.

Murals! Were they painted by Bob Ross?

Yshtola go down the hole

Ran Jit go down the hole

Wouldn’t it have been kinda funny if Emet Selch gave her Ascian robes instead of the ones she had been wearing? I totally see him as the type to dig on others’ fashion choices. Also how much shorter is her life now?

Qitana Rivel is a fun dungeon. Bardam’s Mettle was better though, but hey most of the armor outta the rivel seems glammable!

See, nothing bad’s gonna happy Yshtola, you dummy! (of course, something bad is gonna happen. They have yet to let Yshtola be wrong about something)

Ok, two lightwarden’s left, but where oh where could they be? Guess we better rule out the obvious one that is Vauthry. Couldn’t possibly be him right? Guy who uses Soul Eaters for pillows, and enslaves the minds of others. I mean, we could save ourselves a lotta hassle if we just take military action to Eulmore... but alas, it’s not at this juncture of the script either!

TO THE DESERT! WE GOTTA GET “MINFILIA” Minfilia’s powers!

Oh we’ll have to go on the west side huh? Ok. 

So uh, why go to all this trouble the ride the trolley? Why not just follow the track and blow the gate open? Ah well, guess we gotta beat up and then befriend some plucky miner fellows and bring hope back to the land while we’re at it.

Oh this was all so they could reference Minerfilia. Oh and so we could bore Emet Selch. That’s ok, he’s dicks out for the Crystal Dicksarch anyway.

Jesus Christ, I think I’ve been fighting Discount Shan Yu for almost as long as the A3S fight was back in Gordias Savage. Aaaaaand... he’s still not dead. 

Thancred, if you die, I will use a phoenix down on you, just so I can kill you again.

“Minorfilia” got Minerfilia’s undefined powers, but now her eyes are grey and her hair is red! AND THEY EVEN GAVE HER A NEW NAME! Ryne it is then, you precious cinnabon.

She can now see Sin Eaters and Lightwarden aether, neat. Oh it’s underground huh? In the mine that was mentioned earlier huh. OK! 

Heh I haven’t seen this mechanic since Alexander Prime. THe Heavensward references are out in the sun!

Oooh that’s a spicy meatball, and I’ve got GERD at this point yuck. Yshtola be like, I TOLD YA, DIDN’T I TELL YA? But it’s ok, just hang on, Urianger said he had something up his sleeve.

Finally we’re taking the fight to Eulmore!

Huh all the people are attacking us in the name of Vauthry and they’re moving like zombies. Well, no big deal if we do kill them, but I guess we gotta be goodie goodies.

Oh, would you look at that,  Meol is made of mutated people. WITH GOT CITAN UZUKI’D IN SOYLENT GREEN REFERENCE

And finally, Ran Jit is... incapacitated? is he actually dead? I hope so. I’ll have to come back and find out later I suppose.

Vauthry appears to be a stress eater, but oh hey, there it is. He’s also a Soul Eater. 

More Talos shenanigans. BOOM ELEVATOR!

We did all that and there was a secret town up here with a secret tunnel to and from the bottom all along. Well, at least we rallied the Eulmorons out of their indolence.

LALI HO! Do female dwarves have beards? In some of the CSes with Ardbert, I’m pretty sure their WHM looked Dwarven and had a beard...

Dude the Crystal Dicksarch can cover and cast flare while wielding a WHM cane. What a fucking bad ass, why does he even need me?

“This idea is absurd, it’d take all of the people of Norvarandt just to have a chance of pulling it off!” WoL and crew respond by getting everyon ein Norvarandt. “Well uhh, shit I guess we’ll give it a go. Damn. Who the fuck are you people?” I’m with you on this one Mr. Chai. Who the fuck am I? ALPHINAUD AND ASSISTANTS MOTHALOVAH!

BEEG YOSHI

Bad ass dungeon! Cool ass bosses!

Eww I have to fight Vauthry now. Eww.

Dick move Emet, DIck Move. 

[peter-is-the-best-avenger]

Belts and Bruises - Peter Parker x Reader

Requested by anon: 1+6+20 for peter parker please!!! thank you!! 💕

1) “I told you to be careful!”

6) “People are dying, and you’re worried about [….]?”

20) “It’s four in the morning, for christ’s sake.”

Words: 1,146

Pronouns: Gender Neutral.

Warnings: Mild swearing. Mentions of blood and wounds.

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It’s not the first time that Peter has stumbled into your room bruised and bloody, in fact, you’re thinking of scheduling it in your calendar. The moment you hear the four nail taps on your window, you knew that his weekly patch up was upon you. You close your textbook, leaping up from your desk and tiptoe to the window, pulling back the curtains to reveal the dishevelled superhero in his signature red and blue, leaning over the fire escape clutching his torso. Sliding the window open, you help the brown haired boy into your room, trying to make as little noise as possible so as not to alert anyone in your apartment, or Peter’s for that matter, considering that he lives just next door, and May’s bedroom is merely a wall away.

Once in, Peter falls to the ground, propping his back against the wall as he holds his side in pain. You grab your desk lamp and set it on the floor next to the boy. Now, bathed in amber light, you finally get a good look at Peter. His mask is off, and his face is cut and bruised, his baby curls clinging to his forehead for dear life.

“Oh, Pete. What happened? Where’s your mask?” You ask, perceptively.

“Controller took it when we were fighting, down at the docks.”

“Controller? That’s the name he’s going with?” You utter.

“Not anymore, Mr Stark took care of it, and he’s going to make me another mask.” Peter states, nonchalantly.

“Wait, wait. Iron Man was with you? This guy must have been really dangerous, Pete.”

“I could have taken care of him myself.” He defends.

“Uh huh, sure you could.” You snigger.

Peter chuckles faintly, before grimacing in pain, looking down at the ever-increasing patch of blood seeping through his suit, around his abdomen. “Shit.” He exhales.

“Did you get this tonight?” You narrow your eyes at him in question. He shakes his head.

“Was this last week’s injury?” You sit back, examining his face as it fills with guilt. He nods.

“The one I told you to be careful with?” You cross your arms in an attempt to look cross with him. He shamefully nods again.

You sigh. “Christ, Pete.”

“I know, I know, but I can’t help it. New York needs me.”

You hold his face in your hands. “They need Spider-Man. I need Peter Parker. If you keep carelessly swinging around the city like this, there may be a day that you don’t come back.” You admit. Peter stares at your face, mirroring the look of concern you have.

A moment of sombre silence passes throughout the room as the two of you look at each other, never breaking eye contact. For a moment, you see a glimmer of longing in Peter’s eyes, and for a second you wonder if he pines for you as you do for him, but you quickly brush it off.

“I-I’ll get the first aid kit.” You stammer, as you stand up and go to your bookshelf, where you have an emergency kit hidden away, your back turned to Peter in an attempt to hide the blush creeping up your face. You hear the buzz from the centre button of the Spidey suit, and as you turn around again, you see that Peter is pushing the loosened fabric off his body, stopping at his hips, in order for you to tend to his wound.

Seeing his chiselled torso certainly doesn't help the blushing issue.

Kneeling down beside him, you begin to clean out the gash with rubbing alcohol. Peter hisses in pain and you stop, looking up at him in worry.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He responds, but you know he’s only putting on a brave face. After treating the gash, you take out the needle and surgical thread.

“This is gonna hurt, Pete. More-so than last week.” You warn, sympathetically. Pete closes his eyes in anticipation, your face falling as you see the dread in his expression. “It’ll be alright, okay? Here,” You comfort as you reach over and grab a belt that is laying on the floor “bite down on this.” Peter complies as you count down from three, before puncturing his skin with the needle.

Ten gruelling minutes later, and the boy is patched up. “Okay, all finished.” You state. Peter’s opens his mouth, allowing the belt to fall out onto his lap. He lets out a long breath of relief and wipes away some reflex tears. “Sorry about your belt.” He apologises. You look down at the belt in his lap and see the large holes that were caused due to the superhuman strength of Peter’s jaw.

“It’s okay, I can always buy another one.” You shrug, walking to your closet and bring out a change of clothes that you have stashed away for this very reason. You turn away as Peter gets changed. “What we're doing up anyway? I thought I’d have to wake you.” He remarks, his last words muffled as he pulls a sweater over his head.

“Studying.” You reply, gesturing to the books on your desk.

“At this hour?” He asks. You shrug your shoulders in response as you turn to face him again.

“But It’s four in the morning, for christ’s sake.”

“And? We have an AP Physics test tomorrow.” You state, matter-of-factly, sitting down at your desk again.

“Fuck, that’s tomorrow?” He freezes, his mouth falling agape in panic.

“Yeah. Wanna do an all-nighter? You can’t climb out like that anyway.” You say, gesturing to the laceration on his now fully clothed torso.

“I guess I haven’t got a choice. Scoot over.” He says as you push your books to one side, Peter pulling himself onto the cleared spot on the desk, masking the sharp pain that ran through his body when he does so. It’s a few minutes into study and chill when Peter speaks up.

“I am really sorry about your belt, Y/N.”

“Oh for god’s sake, it’s fine.” You roll your eyes.

“It’s just I know how much you liked it, because of how well it goes with that pair of jeans, you know, the ones with-”

“People are dying, and you’re worried about a stupid belt?” You chuckle. “I would have hated to see you in more pain than you needed to be in. Pete, you know I’d do anything for you, don’t you?” You admit, before turning your attention back to your books, missing the affectionate smile that played on Peter’s lips.

“By the way,” You pipe up after a while, “you do know I’m going to have to cover up those bruises in the morning, right?” You smirk at the look of fear on your best friend’s face, his eyes pleading with yours.

“Not the concealer, Y/N. Anything but the concealer.”

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[nomorelonelydays]

Patater Week - Day 5

Feb. 10 - Social Media Shenanigans – Jeff kind of wishes that he didn’t know Kent and Alexei apparently sext each other through Snapchat pretty regularly. 1.3K “What the hell are you doing?” Jeff asks, a towel over his head as he enters the locker room. Kent doesn’t even look remotely embarrassed as he pulls his shirt down and pockets his phone. “Sexy snapchatting my boyfriend.” “Okay.” Alexei Mashkov likes his men blond, shameless, and a little stupid, he supposes. There’s no helping taste. He shouldn’t be that surprised when, that night while marathoning Game of Thrones by himself, he gets a notification that he’s received a snapchat from Kent. When he opens it, he nearly drops his phone and spills his cup noodles all over his crotch. Miss you lots babe, when you coming to Vegas??? Providence is no fun, the caption says. The Kent in the photo is lying down on what seems to be super soft blankets, the picture taken from the up-down to showcase Kent’s exceptional abs all the way down to his low waistband. He has an actual finger in his mouth, like he’s trying to play coy. It’s clearly sent to the wrong person. 

Like any good, sensible friend should have done, Jeff should have screenshotted the photo and saved it as blackmail. But instead, he tries to copy the pose and sends one back. Because he’s clever, and there’s no way Kent’s going to ever live this down. 

He immediately gets a text back. He wonders if Kent is red-faced and sputtering at this point. It’ll be amazing chirping material for ages to come, and he’ll finally have one over Kent since the prank war from two month ago. Ugly, the text says. I threw up in my mouth. Shut the fuck up, Jeff texts back furiously. Honestly, why is he the one embarrassed? My abs are 100x better than yours. Five minutes later, when Jeff is rinsing out his Styrofoam cup, the Aces groupchat is blowing up. NICEEEEEE!!!!!!! texts Connor. Jeff, if I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? Patrick texts, along with about a billion heart emojis and the one with three water droplets. Jeff doesn’t even want to ask.   Mmmmm bby u single? the next one says. And dear God, that one is from their winger, Arti, the one with the scar on his face whom Jeff has only heard say phrases along the lines of “I’m kill you dead” on the ice, along with several other Ukrainian expletives. Show you good time))))) I nutted, the other says simply. There’s like twenty more following those, and as Jeff frantically tries to scroll up against the wave of incoming messages, he realizes, with horror, that Kent had screenshotted his picture and sent it to the entire goddamn roster. Because that’s what Jeff should have done, but didn’t because apparently he’s the one with no brains. Arti makes a bunch of noisy kissy-face smooches at his direction the next day. Kent and the rest of the team giggle themselves to tears, because they’re all actual children and Jeff is the only adult in the entire roster. 

Kent’s driving Jeff and a couple rookies back home after going out to a bar to celebrate their latest win; Kent doesn’t look as disappointed as Jeff had thought he’d be as designated driver, but then again, he notices that Kent doesn’t really drink anymore, either, except for a can of beer now and then. There’s only him and Dom in the backseat at this point, and Jeff grabs Kent’s arm and squeezes him in what he hopes is a show of appreciation. “Why are you touching me?” Kent asks. Okay, so maybe he’s not being obvious enough. “Just…saying thanks. For everything,” Jeff says. “You’re a good Captain. The Aces wouldn’t have gotten to where we are now if it weren’t for you.” “You’re just saying that because I’m driving you home,” Kent says, but he sounds quietly pleased. “No, man, you’re great. You’re one of my best friends,” Jeff says. He’s a little loose-lipped and fuzzy with all the alcohol in his system, and he’s feeling especially gooey today. “Sometimes you’re an ass, but you know, you’re—you’re swell.” “Who says swell anymore?” Dom asks from the backseat. “He’s from the 50s, cut him some slack,” Kent says blandly. “Fuck you all, I take it back, Parser, you’re the worst,” Jeff slurs, just as Kent’s phone lights up and buzzes with a notification from where it’d been wedged in one of the cup holders.. “I’m the same age as—oh, dude, you got a text.” “I’m also driving,” Kent says, retrieving the phone and unlocking it with his thumbprint. “Could you check who’s it from?” Jeff retrieves the phone and peers at the screen blearily. “It’s a Snapchat…from…‘T.’ Who’s T?” “Oh.” Kent says, considering. “It’s Tater. Just press it.” Jeff does, but in hindsight, if he hadn’t been so buzzed, he’d totally would have done the smarter thing and thought a bit more about accepting the photo before listening to Kent. He nearly swallows his tongue at the photo. It’s taken from the waist down, and it’s a picture of what is probably the biggest dick Jeff’s ever seen close-up in his life, and just as an athlete who hangs out pretty regularly in locker rooms, he’s seen his fair share. U home? the caption says. “Dude,” Jeff says, his mouth dry. “You got a dick pic.” “Cool,” Kent says, unperturbed, his eyes still on the road. “Is it a good one?” “How the hell should I know? It’s a dick pic. It’s a picture of a dick,” Jeff says, then furrows his brows. “Wait. Wait, you fucking knew he was gonna send a dick pic. You set me up.” “I actually didn’t,” Kent admits. “He usually sends me photos of his dogs. He’s probably horny or something.” “Ugh, I hate you, I could’ve lived without ever knowing that.” “Stop being homophobic,” Kent says. “I’m not homophobic, I just think it’s, I don’t know, fucking weird I know that your boyfriend is uncut, no big deal—” “Long distance relationships,” Kent says, like that’s an explanation. “Gotta keep the magic alive. Hey, sext him back for me,” Kent continues, like the idea isn’t completely ludicrous, like Jeff isn’t now equipped with the useless knowledge that Alexei Mashkov is packing. Seriously, that thing could probably poke someone’s eye out. “I’m not gonna sext your fucking boyfriend, what the fuck am I supposed to type?” “I don’t know, write like, ‘Think about me blowing you,’ and then add a winky face or something. I’m driving, leave me alone.” “A winky face?” Jeff echoes. “Have you lost your mind?” “You’re right. Maybe add the eggplant emoji, too. Thanks.” “That’s so boring,” Jeff says. “If it was me, I’d want to hear—wait. No. Screw that. I’m not doing it.” “Then give it to Dom, Jesus Christ.” Kent rolls his eyes. “I ask you to do one thing for me—” “I got it,” Dom says, plucking the phone from Jeff’s hands and types something quickly before handing it back. “Done.” “What did you even write?” Jeff asks incredulously, scrolling up to read the message. The guy wrote an actual to God paragraph. “‘I wish I was there so I could blow you, then I’d ride you so hard you scream, you get me so hot—’ What the fuck, Dom?” “That’s pretty good,” Kent comments. “Nice job.” “Is this not weird?” Jeff exclaims. “Am I the only one—oh God, Mashkov’s typing back, he’s typing, what do I—” He pauses. “Oh. He just sent three heart emojis.” “Cute,” Dom says. “You can drop me off at this corner. Thanks.” When Dom leaves the car, Kent leans back and grins at Jeff, the first one since the dick pic incident. “My dirty talk is too boring for you?” Kent muses. “Man, sorry, I’ll get it up to your standards next time.” “You’ve been demoted to Worst Captain,” Jeff decides, at about the same moment Alexei sends another message: Tell me what else u want do with mouth)))))) (When Mashkov visits the next week, Jeff tries to be casual and ends up saying, “Hey, Mashkov. How’s your dick been—week. How’s your week been. Oh God. Fuck you, Parser.” Kent laughs so hard he has to sit down for a solid three minutes.)

[tessatechaitea]

Shade the Changing Girl #2

Whoa! Look how crazy this comic book looks! It must be super smart and insightful and full of the arts!

This comic book is take itself too literally.

In this comic book, the poetry of Shade the Changing Man, Rac Shade, appears in rainbow colored Narration Boxes. The Narration Boxes of Shade the Changing Girl, Loma, are in blue. Then there are pink Narration Boxes that belong to somebody else. They appeared last issue but I just assumed they were also Shade's. That was a bad assumption because you know what they say about assumptions? I thought I knew but I can only make the word ass and u and mptions out of that, so I guess I was wrong about what they say. Anyway, the pink Narration Boxes belong to a third person. Possibly Megan who was pushed out of her own body? Or maybe it's some aspect of Loma that's left in her Metan body still in the Area of Madness. There's a moment this issue where a pink comet is zooming past a sun and moon in space thinking, "What. Where. Why. Wow." See? It's probably Megan. Just like some aspect of Troy Grenzer remained when Shade took his body, Megan's consciousness is still out there and still somehow attached to her body. Shade walks into school for the first time since she came out of her coma and she quickly realizes everybody at the school hates or fears her. Why do I suddenly have the urge to croak "Corn Nuts?" and over enunciate the word "eskimo"? Meanwhile on Meta, Mellu is investigating the Case of the Stolen Madness Vest although it hardly matters. Whoever took it probably put it on (they did!) and their body is now slowly decomposing in the Area of Madness (it is! Probably!). Shade discovers the library at high school, much to the chagrin of a small girl. It's probably Teacup, right? It's been so long since I read Issue #1 that I don't remember if Teacup made an appearance before Megan drowned while doing a shitload of ecstasy. Anyway, it's obvious that Megan never showed an interest in the library before, and this tiny girl (Teacup, right?!) used to hide out here from the mean girls.

Ugh! Don't read Yeats! I can't bear to read a character who picks up a book of Yeats poetry and understands it without any outside sources or further reading! But if she is going to get into Yeats, please at least let her read something other than "The Second Coming"! Yeats wrote way more poems than just that one!

Heather's Numbers Two through Four come in search of Teacup in the library. But Teacup hides from them, as does Shade. But she can't help herself from engaging in a little Madness. Probably because she doesn't have any real control over it. Maybe it's her Madness Nemesis! Shade the Changing Man had the American Scream. Maybe Shade the Changing Girl has the American Teen!

I can name all of the books, plays, and poems these are from! The whale is obviously from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the one-eyed thingy is from Lady Chatterley's Lover, the hand holding the skull is from Harry Potter and the Skull of Squicking, the letter A is from Dr. Seuss's ABC, the raven is from The Sandman, and the cat is from Garfield.

Shade thinks that maybe Teacup was her friend but Teacup is terrified of her. So she makes a big scene in the library and some guy named River is all, "I'd heard you were all about the drama. But do you mind having it somewhere else?" Right?! Libraries should totally be drama-free zones! And anybody who ever makes a scene or an uproar or a loud sneeze in a library should be banned for life. Libraries should have no tolerance policies for shenanigans! Although I did once masturbate in the stairwell of the library at Portland State University, so obviously I only mean that if the person gets caught they should be banned for life! I almost certainly, probably, never did that thing I just said I did. So gross! Besides, I was barely eighteen! Possibly even still seventeen! I was too young to cope with the freedom of college! Besides, nobody ever specifically sat me down and said, "Do not masturbate in public stairwells." Anyway, River is Shade's neighbor. He never knew Megan so Shade feels like maybe she can safely become a friend of his. He might not be thinking the same thing but I bet he gets pulled into her madness anyway. Especially because his name is River and that's got to be symbolic for something soon! Meanwhile, the pink girl in space with the pink Narration Boxes makes an appearance. So, see, that's another character or something! Shade goes home to watch old timey television and ponder how she's going to figure out who Megan was and how to make her better. Then it's time for the back-up comic! The back-up comic book isn't worth reading. It's all in-your-face about how change is a good thing and not changing is a bad thing which totally ends with a sex joke. I think. I don't know. I stopped paying attention to narratives that feel like clubs to the back of the head. The Ranking! No change! I'm not infatuated with this book but I'm still intrigued and enjoying it. So that's a review, right?