#oh and being chronically ill lmfao

[twodoorsnotone]

First session of counselling today was so funny it's like let me catch you up on every detail of my life and say all the things I think maybe only one person knows Every Single Part of and then I just leave like I may never see this man again

[threnodians]

i got the job, i start november 4th at $15/hr so the same that i was already making but this place is almost half the distance (and basically all highway driving) and i won't ever have to work weekends and even if it sucks i'm gonna stick it out for as long as possible because i desperately need money 😂 👏🏻

i'm taking the rest of the day to chill tf out because i'm not feeling so great physically and then i've gotta do a bunch of chores/cleaning tomorrow 👍🏻

[ckret2]

I can buy bill being in love but not him being in love in a remotely normal or healthy way. Or the potential love interest leaving intact and sane

one hundred percent Bill is the alien equivalent of That Guy who's like "ALL my exes are evil bitches" and then you find out his exes are perfectly normal lovely people who were rightfully furious at him for some sort of ridiculous entitled bullshit he tried to get away with.

the one ex I've brainstormed out the most is like "yeah she was the deepest person I ever met, she was dealing with this horrible chronic pain condition and associated mental illnesses, but she channeled it into this BEAUTIFUL poetry, really deep insightful stuff, honestly I was in awe of her." "Why aren't you together now?" "Oh I dumped her lmfao she was a COMPLETE lunatic I wasn't gonna put up with her crazy ass dragging me down. think she's dead idk." JUST. ZERO SYMPATHY. WORST PERSON EVER

there's no beautiful harmonious long lost loves he still gently yearns for, like every single one of his relationships ended in a screaming match and occasionally a murder, and the ONLY time the breakup isn't Bill's fault is when he somehow, miraculously, managed to find and hook up with someone worse than him.

[ovaruling]

negative self talk incoming for whoever needs that idek

regular daily update that i regret having my like 99999 cosmetic surgeries so much and i dont even want to put the exhaustive energy into accepting my face and body atp anymore bc they remain utter strangers who i hate

and despite all of the feminist theory i have read and comprehended and applied to the way i see the world i STILL cannot rid myself of this very specific form of self-hatred and im not even being defeatist when i say i truly know that i will never be at peace bc of the choices i have made. like how can i ever be ok with this. i’d have to be lobotomized to be cool with this

and even besides that the chronic physical pain and damage to my actual nervous system won’t allow me a moment of forgetfulness. like on an amazing day where i’m full of caffeine or xanax i can MAYBE forget what i look like for an hour but it’s impossible to forget that i literally cant physically feel my entire torso and abdomen and buttocks and my upper back and my inner thighs and upper arms and underarms and my jaw and cheeks

but also at the same time i can feel incredible levels of stabbing numb shocks of pain in all of them lmfao.

exercising helps for a bit and reminds me that i can at least move my body around but i always gotta come back to reality where i have to confront that i’m genuinely permanently ill and legitimately brain damaged. like neurologically

and bc of that i went from being a normal adult 10 years ago to now i cant hold a job, cant go back and attend school, cant drive a car anymore, need IV treatments weekly, no independence, no ability to even volunteer for longer than an hour at local animal shelters before i start having problems bc i cant explain to anyone why i need to lie down every 2 hours or else i legitimately go numb and pass out no matter how little exertion im doing, no future where i can help the world the way i want to. i cant even read 2 chapters of a fucking favorite book that i LOVE without getting dizzy for no fuckjng reason. i have to REST from reading a fucking BOOK

and doctors are just like “oh well that’s what happens when you fucking almost die two times from elective surgery lol kinda your fault tbh. you really should’ve just accepted how viciously hated by men your body was. but the human body is so mysterious huh!!! like this is crazy dude lmao. 🤪 so yeah here’s a pamphlet for a support group that doesn’t really fit your needs and some medication that won’t work bc we still don’t really know how to diagnose or treat plastic surgery victims like this bc technically you weren’t in a car crash or anything so we don’t really have enough research rn to fully apprehend what’s going on w your mysterious ass. also you had more surgeries than most ppl ever will be stupid enough to undertake so like we have no idea what to do w you lol!!!!!! there isn’t really data that fits your situation but maybe in 30 years 😌”

just in case anyone was wondering if i changed my mind on cosmetic surgery being true evil!!!!!! lol

ok sorry for the pity party i just really am feeling the weight of it all rn

[fairymint]

🖼 dash events👀 dash commentary

This'll count as a technically unpopular opinion, but I actually find that most dash events are just kinda stressful. Mostly in a very personal. 'not for me' kind of way. It's not a moral judgement, I just personally have difficulty with it.

time constraints depend, but in a general sense, most vague stretches of time don't guarantee creativity from me; I'm chronically ill, am a bit overworked (whether it's my employer or simply myself chugging the workohol), and sometimes the mood just doesn't hit right.

Exact schedule depends too; I already kinda work 2nd shift, and so am awake for a 3rd shift/graveyard deal; you might miss when the mun/blog organizing the thing is on. So, even if you participate in general day long things, you can fomo for the high stakes/starring/determining events. But also, it is possible for an event to be very specific and catered around the host+friends' schedule/whims; sometimes it just doesn't work out for me.

complexity, tbh. depends on the event itself, but things often have to be some level of serious, fair, balanced, etc., and they might have their own idea of that, which needs to be respected. sometimes I'm not in the mood for that (wanna write easy, specific, or nonsensical things), or I don't feel like doing the actual 'work' especially with competitions; some days I couldn't give less a shit what I 'place' or what a judge likes. Some time periods I'm just too anarchic/chaotic/cooperative for that.

That being said, events are immensely fun and bonding if you can do them, so I suggest that you try them if you can! It can at the very least give you a feel for things, and how you want to interact with any one community!

As for dash commentary, I find it infectiously fun if you can get over the nerves about it; obviously that stuff is generally meant to be casual, but at the same time isn't required to stay that way... i think it helps to treat it like a toy, the way a toddler does it;

pick it up if you like it. (you don't have to justify why you like it.)

chew on it the way you want. (dash full of sex comments but your muse is ace? in a real life conversation, my buddy will just dunk us. make everything about bees if that's your hyperfixation. you don't have to stay scripted IC if you're being polite ooc.)

skim if you need to, drop it if you still can't. plenty of dash commentaries have me going 'what the fuck are you two talking about?' you can find out. if you can't, oh well. you can make a new post if you want.

be as specific or vague as you wish. don't be afraid to mention names/urls, or expand/tweak the topic. you don't have to argue w/ inspiration.

however, try not to metagame unless it's crack; there are people who don't wanna share certain lore casually, but it should be pretty clear when they do so (public/private knowledge memes, bio sections, etc.)

however i am bad with names/urls so bear with me when it comes to casual asks/etc. confusing 2 muses wouldn't be the end of the world, but lmfao-

it's tempting to stay on topic. you don't gotta. late commentary is better than never.

[cptspiegel]

Do u do kenpachi headcanons maybe u could one of kenpachi x female disabled/terminally ill/chronically ill SO?

This is the best Kenpachi request I've gotten, gonna be so self indulgent lmfao

Warnings: reader is fem, reader has a disability/chronically ill, mobility aids mentioned (wheelchair & cane), medicine/doctors mentioned

First & most importantly, Kenpachi is the most understanding man in this entire universe. His hard exterior means absolutely nothing, because he knows how it feels to feel alienated/misunderstood and he'll never ever make you feel that way. All the time he says, "Those fools can walk in and out of your life and miss out on you. But I'll always be your person."

He's for real a ride AND die type of man.

All of those lovely things said Kenpachi has to learn boundaries.

His big heart makes him want to cater to literally every need you have.

Ken will memorize your schedule to the very second. He'll go get medication before you can even think about it.

Kenpachi has to learn not every person is okay with being carried. You've gotta make it clear if you want that because......he will lift you and take off in a blink.

You've got to tell him, "Kenny, I adore you, but please let me do some things. I'm not helpless!"

He knows that & kinda beats himself for getting too protective. Then you reassure him that he's normal, you just want space to do things.

The key is that you'll ask for help if you need it.

Oh! Yachiru has the time of her life with your wheelchair/cane if you use one.

She enjoys when you both go to the meetings all the ladies have once a week. Throwing her arms up and singing while you push the both of you to the luncheon!

The cane? Oh boy she pretends to be a wealthy business man with a cane to tap around on the floor with.

It makes you laugh so hard because she's just being innocent & not mocking you.

Kenpachi scolded her one time and then you scolded him for scolding Yachiru.

Your disability doesn't change Kenpachi's attraction to you either.

He's 100% into you the same way he would literally any other person.

Yes that means he asks you to fight him.

You come up with creative ways to do that.

Stuff like board games

Tossing darts

Cornhole!

Competitive, but not throwing fist at each other

[fetchargbts]

Happy one year deathday to fetch!!!! How do you think things would've gone if we voted to let fetch live?

Oh man this is quite a few days late LMFAO. in my defense i do not get nottifs for this blog. Also youve just unleashed a beast by asking this hope youre ready <3

So, first fun fact! We actually had an entire divergent setup for if fetch lived, and an alterbate confrontation with baroness if he died before that.

First up, if fetch died before being able to confront baroness (we didnt know when wed have that confrontation just yet ao we wanted to cover all our bases) it would have been Maitake threatening Baroness with the gasoline as well as her mustard gas (as a mooshroom hybrid she produces Toxins and Spores she can weaponize).

If fetch lived, he would have been in the mansion when it went up in flames. Instead of Mona and King leaving on their own, they would have run into Fetch, and they would have had an altercation that ended in fetch finding out that mona is a shifter (friendly reminder that he didnt know that the entire time theyve been friends, which went back to early high school :])

Instead of jumping out the window, he decides its safer to climb the roof so the other hunters can find him easier and get him down. Knights room was on the second floor, and he was already pushing it with his (gestures at him) condition. and he didnt want to break his legs or something

There was this whole speech i had planned where he stares at the commotion of doomsday on the roof and have a Big Badass Monologue but alas 😔

He also would have been there for crown's exorcism, he was the one to tackle crown and hold him down while they got ready rather than corpse. Also this bit that canonized his polyamory with corpse and koko :3

(Full disclosure: fetch got with koko 2 weeks after coming to HQ because koko found him super interesting and endearing, and corpse later got attatched to him since he was the main one taking care of him in the med ward and they bonded heavily over Chronic Pain And Illnesses)

Fetch would have gone on to be a top operator in the Lotus branch, with plenty of good company to keep him happy. He had a dog, 2 boyfriends, and a myriad of friends at HQ, and the hunters provided him with the safety and stability he'd been looking for the entire time. Despite his nightmares and trauma and bad memories, if he lived he would have been happy

Corpse and Koko still mourn him together. Maitake still keeps bacon bits in the cupboard. Kassidy (who yall never got to see whcih is aCRIME because i love her and she was also one of fetch's besties) still paints some of her nails black because it was his favorite look on her. He may have not been there for a long time, but his absence is very very felt at HQ.

Anyway that for sad heres koko informing tge mcdonalds employee that fetch corpse and kassidy ask for no pickle

(Not real height difference bc it was a meme andni didnt care, fetch is the shortest but corose actually is that tall lmfao)

[idyllic-affections]

HI MAHAL this may seem a bit sudden but im feeling very affectionate today and needed to find someone to SMOTHER WITH LOVE AND THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAME TO MIND WAS YOU <3 so i js wanted to say……

I LOVE U SO SO SO MUCHHH!!!!!!!! 🫶🫶🫶 WAHHHH i appreciate u so very much and even tho weve only been moots for four months iT FEELS LIKE ITS BEEN SO MUCH LONGERRRHRHRH!! tysm for listening to what i wanted to say to you and for putting up with all of my bs LMFAO IM SO GLAD THAT I MET UUUUU 💕💓💝💝💖💕💝💓💞💘💕 talking with u always brings me so much joy RAHHHH 😭😭 I LOVE EACH AND EVERY INTERACTION OF OURS EVEN IF ITS FOR A BRIEF MOMENT AND IT ALWAYS PUTS A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE WHENEVER I LOOK BACK!!!! you’re very funny sweet caring and friendly AND I JS WANNA HUG U AND CLING ONTO U VERY TIGHTLY i dont plan on letting go anytime soon hehe :3 hope ure okay w that <3333 i dont want our friendship to enddd!!!! 🫶💖💘💓💕😭😭🫶💝💘💕💗💗💓💞💘🫶🫶 OH OH AND IM SOSOSO PROUD OF U!!!! URE DOING ABSOLUTELY AMAZINGGGG AND U MATTER A HELL OF A LOT TO ME MWAH MWAH‼️‼️‼️

if addi has a million fans, im one of them. if addi has one fan, im that fan. if addi has zero fans, im no longer alive HEHE 🫶

LILIIIII SOBS..... NOT ME BEING THE FIRST PERSON TOC OME TO MIND????? I LOVE YOU TOO WTF /P there's NO way we've only been moots for four moths, it feels like it's been way longer than that pleasee.... i am convinced i've known you for more than 16 weeks. that is such a short amount of time!!!

hsjnskdskhsjksh for me it has NEVERRR been "putting up with you"!!!!! i love talking to you and listening to the things you want to say!!!!! my response time may be slow sometimes but it never has anything to do with you <333 it is just the neurodivergent brain i think. words are not always easy!

i do my best to be very kind because i think there is not enough kindness in the world lately! so i always want to remind people that kindness does still exist. if i, as a trans and chronically ill liberal person living in the modern usa, cannot beat the darkness myself, then at the very least, i can be a light that helps other people through it. you know!!! spreading kindness where it is needed!!!!

of course, you are welcome and encouraged to stay in my life for as long as you would like to <33 BUT THANK YOU..... i am also very proud of you!!!! you are wonderful and lovely and you're doing great!!!!!

[horce-divorce]

thinking about how, even as a young kid who had never had a job, I started to question what the point of working so hard for so little is. when I got old enough to join the workforce, I had about four or five good, abled years left in me, relatively speaking. over the next 7 years I would have more than 15 different jobs, sometimes 3 at once, trying to find the magic combination that would pay my bills without bleeding me dry. I never found it. Instead I gradually lost my jobs along with my ability to work, I quickly became homeless, and have been struggling to "get back on my feet," whatever that means, for the ensuing 10 years and counting. I have not once had stability in my adult life. I expect to be homeless indefinitely.

nobody looks at any of the stuff I actually DO, though. no, because I'm disabled and I had to quit my jobs, all they see is what I DON'T do. and it's so weird, like. people moralize poverty and disability, right? they ABSOLUTELY look down on me for those things. And once they realize I'm not working because of that, they get jealous. They get insanely, transparently JEALOUS of the fact that I'm deathly ill, simply because I'm not working. clearly that means I have so much extra free time to be a person. (I hate that it bears repeating, but I DONT! being sick is a full time, 24/7/365 job that I DONT get breaks from, EVER.)

They'll say it like, "oh but you don't HAVE to work." False. I DO *HAVE* to work, just like you! I merely CAN'T. I dont get paid for the work i do end up doing; i cannot be additionally employed. "But i have to work to live? We all do? Isnt that hard?" YES!!!! You get a gold star for finally fucking noticing!!!!! WOW!!!!

But even then it doesnt stop the jealousy!!!! idk that dissonance is something that never stops fucking me up. Shame on your disabled ass, you have nothing to be proud of, you should be spending every last drop of energy fighting not to be disabled anymore, fighting to get back into the workforce primarily before anything else, and fighting not to need help EVER AGAIN. and if you die trying, fine! that's just life! You are lazy and entitled! Everyone only hates you because they wish they could be you :)))) Lmfao!!!!

It's wild how much a society that places this much importance on "individualism" will turn around and condemn me for supposedly "not contributing to society" (by letting my labor be exploited lmao). I thought that was called "giving handouts" and that we only do Me, Myself and I here in America? Why is it suddenly only all Team Spirit once your employer busts out the wiggly eyes and says "but we're a FAMILY"? Where's that spirit from your employer when YOU need someone to pick up your shifts? Let me guess, it's typically, "you're gonna have to find coverage for that yourself," isn't it? Yeah. And you hate ME for not "having" to deal with that anymore, instead of your boss for doing that to you.

It's pretty transparent how much abled people don't like being treated disposably either. They fucking hate this life lmfao. But because they have more utility left in thier bodies, they can go on pretending that they're actually "contributing" somehow, instead of instead of being milked dry for future discarding just like any other resource.

Instead, they'll get to spend thier whole lives believing they did something- until they're retired, and suddenly realize that having given their whole entire lives and selves still wasn't enough. It was never enough to keep them afloat, never enough to make them rich how they dreamed, Not even enough for just a few years of peace and quiet before they die.

I guess yeah, on the bright side, I do get to miss out on that whole song and dance. Because I already learned that harsh lesson at age 20, that NOTHING I ever do will actually be enough. And in the meantime there's, u know, just, all the debilitating chronic pain, the lack of dignity, the homelessness, having to beg to buy fucking toothpaste, EVERY. SINGLE. interaction you have with a housed person being moralized and scrutinized endlessly, the constant, never ending tug of war with social services, and MORE... did I mention the CONSTANT, CHRONIC, DEBILITATING PAIN?

You don't really wish you were me, lmfao. You just wish your work meant something. You wish you HAD a work-life balance instead of just work and no life. You wish it was dignified. You wish you chose to work instead of being forced to, under threat of becoming Like Me. You wish it so bad that you're jealous of someone who's fucking disabled for life and homeless most of the time. And for what? Because it precludes me from doing what you're doing anymore. Because now I can sit outside of that sphere and make this type of commentary about my experiences in the workforce, and you don't have the energy, the time of day, or freedom to speak out against your employer in the way i can now speak. So you take it out on me instead.

Think about that. Is that normal? Is that what you want from a job? Is that dignified? Is that how you want to treat yourself and other people? Is this the status quo you're fine with upholding for the rest of your life? Is this what you want for your kids? Is it worth it? Is it doing it for ya, bud? Is it paying the bills and everything? NO??? Damn. Ouch! Maybe think about that before you make some stupid comment directed at disabled people next time 👍

Anyway, when you're nearing the end of your utility, it's really easy to see the way all employers, even the "good ones," juice you dry and then discard you for a replacement, among other bigger structures that demand this. It's also easy to see when you're NOT disabled, it's just really uncomfortable and requires admitting some hard truths about all those "nice things" your boss supposedly does for you. If your job was really that great, you wouldn't be seething with jealousy at a disabled guy and wishing you were dying instead. That's not very hashtag sigma grindset likeaboss of you :/

[katasstrophy]

Dream anon again! I had snippets from a dream of being Rin's friend and Bachira's friend who was crushing a bit on him lmao and one was cute and the other ended out of pocket smh. For Rin, it was just a peak of being at a football after party with him, and him after two hours of reluctant socialization, looking like a wilted Lily and dissociating in the corner. I cam over, poked his cheek, and asked if he was ready to go, and he gave a deep sigh, and said he was (1/4)

hi dream nonnie!! gonna put the rest under the cut so i don’t clog the dash but awe 🥺 how sweet 🥺

'contractually obligated' to stay longer. So, being my chronically ill self, I told him I'd fake sick and we could go to the movie theater and for that new horror film he likes. and this boy looked like I held the Holy Grail out to him, he looked like he was going to melt into the floor. 'Really?? we can leave??? Have I told you lately that we're friends??' and then I smiled and pressed the keys to my car in his hand and told him he could show it by starting the car. He was off like a shot (2/4)

Chigiri could NEVER. Ended up telling his manager I was sick and Rin was helping me and told Isagi that Rin and I just straight up didn't want to be there anymore lmao. As for Bachira, I was friends with him in college and I minor in art and knew his mom through my classes, and I was hanging out with her making her cocktails while we talked about sexism in general. It was honestly a very freeing and deep conversation about being taken seriously and I remember telling her how much I admired (3/4)

her as a single mother and amazing artist, and she talked about raising Bachira and her own monster. We got mad wasted and sappy in her studio, while throwing darts at paint balloons to make a piece (like in the Princess Diaries!!). Woke up the next morning, having slept on her studio floor smh, with the worst hangover and her sunshine ass in the kitchen making pancakes, and it ended with her catching me staring at Meguru dreamily, as he excitedly whispered to me what he and his boys did (4/5)

yesterday (though when he first woke up, he had the GALL to chastise his mother and I for drinking). I literally nearly toppled from my bar stool to gaze after him as he went upstairs to change for the day (we were going to feed the Nara deer with Isagi, Nagi, and Reo) and his mom came over to me, smiling very sweetly, took my hands in hers, told me to close my eyes, and when I opened them, his mom had put a box of condoms on my hands and I freaked out so hard I woke up. (5/5)

LMFAO rinnie baby driving his car like a madman bc fuck interacting with people is so real. mario kart music plays in the background while he breaks twelve traffic laws (kidding he could never.. this boy is SO straight-laced he barely speeds. BUT road rage?? abso-fucking-lutely oh my god he gets so mad it’s a comedy show there bring popcorn!!)

BACHI’S MOM GIVING U CONDOMS PLSSSSSS and you waking up nonnie that’s so funny AKIZHSBDBDNDK i always thought it was such a WIN when ur s/o’s mom likes you to the point you could like gang up on ur partner together LOL but that is a treat hope you got some good sleep tho!!

[sacaeblade]

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

prompts i'd like to receive

oh i see we are getting into it today huh

tl;dr lyn is so fucking lonely but she tries to hide it from literally everyone

There is a specific moment in Lyn's supports with Lianna in Fire Emblem Warriors that drives me absolutely up the wall. Just makes me (cat bite gif).

Lianna: Lyn, is it true that you came to this world all by yourself? You must've been very lonely before you met up with us. Lyn: Oh, you don't have to worry about me! I'm used to being alone. That's how I lived back on the plains.

Because this is just patently untrue? Hello? Girl stop lying.

To get into why this is just completely untrue, let's talk about fe7. Before they were massacred, Lyn was raised in the Lorca tribe for all 16/18 years (depending on the translation) years of her life. Though she only ever talks about her parents in regards to her early life, we have to remember that she was raised in a community. Yes, the Lorca were nomadic, but more importantly, they traveled together. Lyn was only alone for a total of six months before meeting Mark and she responds like this when asking Mark to travel with her:

Lyn: ...But I’m so young, and our people were old-fashioned. They wouldn’t follow a woman. No one would follow me. Sniff… I’m sorry. I’ve been alone for so long… No. No more. I will shed no more tears. …………

After losing not only her parents, but to have the other survivors refuse to follow her...For the first time in her life, Lyn was completely and utterly alone. At this point in time, Florina (we'll come back to her.) is still training in Illia (though she seeks out Lyn when she hears that she has left Sacae), so Lyn latches onto Mark like they're a life preserver and she's been treading water in the middle of the ocean. She's been so unbearably lonely.

In the Smash Brethren dlc in Awakening, if the player answers that Lyn's story sounds familiar, she is absolutely ecstatic that ""Mark"" still remembers her.

Lyn: Really? Then you remember! It's really you! Oh...I'm so happy! I thought... I thought we'd never met again. ...I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. I'm just...overwhelmed. Give me a moment... ...Thank you. I feel better. Listen. Come back to Sacae with me! Can you just picture the others' face's?

I could write a whole other post about her relationship with chronic ghoster Mark but I'll keep it brief for now because there's a lot I need to touch on here.

Very quickly after meeting Mark, Lyn then meets Kent (we'll come back to him.) and Sain and learns that she isn't completely alone in the world-- she has a grandfather. She still has family. (THERE'S ALSO LUNGREN BUT HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO KILL HER AND THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS LMFAO) Her goal shifts from avenging her parents to meeting and protecting her grandfather.

Sain: “Lady Lyndis! Do you honestly plan on remaining here? Tell me truly!”

Lyn: “Yes, until my grandfather is well. I can’t leave him now. I won’t.”

Kent: “The physician says that Lord Hausen looks like a new man. It’s like he was never ill. And it’s all thanks to you, milady.”

Lyn: “He’s the only family I have left. I want him to have a long life.”

Lyn struggles in Caelin with her newfound noble status and the way it isolates her in a different way. Her best friend treats her differently. She feels that she cannot relate to any of the other noble ladies. Even if they don't say it out loud, the other nobles look down on her for her Sacaen heritage. Her heart aches to return to the plains, but her grandfather is her last living family member. Even if she struggles, it's a struggle she's willing to put up with for the sake of family.

Even after Lord Hausen passes, Lyn brings whoever she has a paired ending with (with the exception of Eliwood and Hector, for obvious FE6 related reasons. I have Thoughts about what these endings in particular mean for Lyn re:fe6 but those are thoughts for another day) back to Sacae with her. Lyn only remained in Caelin for Lord Hausen, so she feels no reason to stay if he's gone. But even when she returns to the plains, she doesn't want to be alone again.

So let's talk about Lyn's paired ending supports, shall we?

Florina

Lyn's supports with Florina are probably the most direct about how lonely she is, which makes sense! Florina is her best friend! Florina has known her long enough to tell that the perceived distance between the two now that Lyn is nobility is hurting her.

Florina: Please, don't hide it even from me! You want to return to the plains, don't you, Lyn? I know how you used to leave the castle and gaze out from the hill at Caelin. Lyn: It's just... It doesn't seem fair. I know... With my grandfather in his condition, I'm the only one to watch over the castle... Florina: You shouldn't force yourself, though. I'm sure that Lord Hausen would understand... Living on the plains just seems right for you, Lyn. Lyn: Florina... Hmm, guess what? You stopped calling me "Lyndis"... And you're speaking much more frankly now. Florina: Ah! I-I apologize! I'm such a scatterbrain, I... Lyn: Please, Florina-- Don't... I, too, thought it was the way we had to be with each other. But I was wrong-- I can't take it anymore. I've been so lonely all this time. Leaving the plains... And you, my best friend treating me like a noble stranger. What does rank and birth have to do with anything? I'm still myself, and you're still you! Please, talk to me normally, like you always used to.

This is the most direct Lyn ever gets about her feelings and it's all downhill from here, folks.

Rath

Now, Rath is in a unique spot as far as Lyn's supports go. Not only is Rath a fellow plainsdweller (in his own words), but if there's anyone who understands having their entire community ripped away from them like Lyn does, it's Rath. Lyn had her tribe massacred and the survivors refused to follow her, while Rath was forced to leave his tribe due to a bad omen. Being the chieftain's child wasn't enough for either of them to receive their tribe's support.

Rath: At the time I was less than four, without even the means to survive. I wandered, not knowing right from left, ...The people of other tribes laughed and ridiculed me. Lyn: ... ... Rath: I do not feel the loneliness now as I did then... but sometimes, I remember. I have never felt so alone. Lyn: I see... That makes sense. When I first met you, I felt like we had something in common... Maybe it was because we shared the experience of being alone.

And earlier in their supports, Lyn confesses to being afraid of losing the last family member she has left, though she quickly tries to change the topic.

Lyn: I was thinking of my grandfather... He was still...asleep... when I left Caelin. Just when it seemed he was getting better... Why... Why must these things happen to me? ...I don't want to lose him. Not...another one. Rath: ... ... Lyn: Well. Enough of dark thoughts! Why...Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself, Rath?

You are not convincing anyone that you're okay with the situation, but nice try! You are extremely lucky that Rath just moves on with the conversation here, Lyn.

Kent

Oh, Kent. Where to even begin. Their entire support line is based around one singular question:

Lyn: Why do you stay with me, by my side? Is it because I am granddaughter to the lord of Caelin Castle?

When Lyn asks Kent why he stays at her side, it's a question of "will you only follow me if i am Lady Lyndis?". The Lorca survivors didn't follow her because she's a girl, but will Kent only follow her because she's a noble lady? Is his support conditional? When she inevitably returns to Sacae, will that connection be gone? What happens when her grandfather dies?

Kent feels the need to emphasize Lyn's status as a means to create emotional distance. He intentionally tries to draw a line for himself to not seek a personal connection with Lyn, who wants a personal connection as Lyn, not Lady Lyndis. We already know from Lyn's supports with Florina that Lyn finds her rank incredibly isolating. Lyn doesn't know how to act like the noble lady that she thinks Kent wants her to be and she doesn't know how long he will remain at her side, knowing that she does not intend to remain in Caelin forever. Remember, she only intended to stay in Caelin until Lord Hausen recovered and the plan was always to return to Sacae eventually.

What Lyn wants is for Kent to stay at her side because she's Lyn (which is ultimately what Kent also wants), but both of them are fucking clowns who refuse to communicate.

Kent: Yes... I apologize for my imprudence. Still... How could I stand before Lord Hausen should anything befall Lady Lyndis? Lyn: Kent... Just because my grandfather is who he is, doesn't mean you should worry about me overmuch. I can do just fine on my own. Like I did on the plains...

girl you are lying!!!!!!!! but florina is literally the only one who will call you out on it so you get away with it!!!! jesucristo!!!!!!!

Eliwood/Hector

Sorry kings I'm making you share a section because this is already getting kind of horrifyingly long.

Anyway, this section is less about their actual supports (although I do think her support with Eliwood provides insight into just how much her status/being in Caelin stresses her out) and more about their general relationship. I don't need to bring out the sources for you to know that the RGB lords are friends. That much is obvious.

But it's...different.

Lyn will never have the relationship with Eliwood and Hector that they have with each other and that frustrates her. It's not just that she hasn't known them as long as they've known each other-- their relationship will always be colored by the fact that she's a woman.

......Which is also a post for another day and this is already way too long!

i am very normal about lady lyndis of caelin

[puppet2611]

//from 5.12.23

hey.... im going a lil cray cray over lf x a5 crossover au.. (also 8:11 bcz im a loser for oc x canon :3)(still coping over this stomache) if i dont send smth in 5 minutes shoot me im going too cray cray/j

lf already kind of has ties to a5 since the entities still being alive and just kinda moving around but not really - maybe ill age up adam and oliver to use as background characters but whos knowss

not canon or anything just a silly little thought but erm. what if all 3 were connected via religion 😁 emilio, natalia, charlotte and isabella from lf already have religious backgrounds, 8:11 practically revolves around religion and a5 entities pretending to be angels could wreck some havoc on the damned basilica teehee,,, since im too silly with char.ai most of the characters mentioned already interacted w/ 8:11 bots to kinda get an idea of how everything would play out even if it was ooc... younger emilio and amelia def actually confided in francis while everyone else was at least a bit suspicious (minus isabella but uhmmm. lore reasons) idk abt the entities since i havent rlly worked on anything but their designs but maybe ill give them different abilities and only one of them knows francis' true intentions:3c

OH YEAH idk if ill ever tell him abt it but maybee i could throw in adams ocs too since bros absolutely batshit insane over 8:11 rn. i have screenshots of him being insanely gay over a french guy btw if anyone wanted to see/j ANYWAY ehheheee maybe felix and samuel knew the martin kids at some point :33 bunch of religiously traumatized kids meeting, what could happen??? (felix and emilio both stabbed their siblings at skme point 💀) ANYWAYS i think sam and samuel would get along not just because uhh similar names but idk since were kinda split between making sam a bitch or actually nice... oh and i never drew sam or amelia properly yet whoops a5 exploded my mind

btw abt the entity mfs id like to think most of them usually stay in human forms except for atlas whos kinda the socially awkward one whod rather stay as an animal so no one tries to talk to him lmfao

but hes also extra so anyone at the basilica sees a fucking bear with antlers and the fur pattern of a deer and gets jumpscared (they all get used to it later and only vistors get jumpscared) OH AND ABT THE OC X CANON STUFF. not rlly shipping i just dk what else to call it but tee hee maybe isabella and vittorino have mad beef because her dad died at the basilica not soon after vitto joined so shes mad sus 😁😁 but only to be a bitch bcz she finds him utterly disgusting. her cousin allen kills him bcz he kinda was suffering anyway and she actually helped plan it loll

everytime girl comes across the stupid hoe they always glare at each other or get in a fight... usually verbal bcz natalia would go rabid if vitto tried to hit bella ykyk

oh and since im trying to align the stories together a bunch of ages r gonna have to change... idk if emilio or oliver is gonna be the older one but there is no way in hell a priest is younger than someone still in school... but then again overthinker wont stop comparing emmy to felix so ion wanna make him too close to blondies age but then again again felix is like 50 now... ill probably make emmy 36 and amelia 41 ig. klaus has too many white hairs to only be 40 anyway/hj but then adams still older than klaus.... i mean ig i could just use the excuse that he dyes his hair since he already has highlights

this is a whole mess uhm.

im unoriginal asf so emilio and jericho can bond over being people pleasers and cupioromantic but their first and only ever crush was abusive 😁😁 (<- definitely not projecting) (i lied. jericho only ever gets with elio bcz of that one time on valentines day irl) (im normal i swear)

OH WHILE IM TALKUNG ABT EMILIO. BEFORE I FORGET

bro went from snarky rude ass hoe to the most pathetic bird known to man for silliness reasons/hj

bros insanely mentally unstable, has chronic pain and heart problems, trust problems and definitely either a drinking or smoking problem. hell he can even jack both of them if he wants/j uhm. but i decided to make him less of a mary sue with all the language stuff n shit. idk if i ever mentioned it but who cares its my channel grr/j anyways instead lf the grocery list of languages he can speak, he can only speak english, greek, and belarusian 👍 also asl but idk if youd count that as smth he can speak

still torturing his pathetic ahh but anywayss abt that one tobias/future emilio art. the snake he has was originally gonna be named mobius for his symbolism stuff (and a hi3 ref/silly) but maybee i might rename the snake fang or michael as in adams late husband because uhmmm. what if adam was like a father figure to him when they met and he at some point got him a snake 👍👍 (he wouldve gotten a rabbit but uhm. vitto symbolism. and bro is traumatized from the vittorino ais..)

that is all for neow bcz i need to go take medicine 😭

[merlions]

me, having an adrenaline dump panic attack: im having all these Symptoms.........it's adrenaline dumping I think or maybe I'm gonna die...............if im not gonna die then it's definitely adrenaline problems. so I just need to convince myself that it is adrenaline problems and then I don't need to be a hypochondriac. *takes a beta blocker* *feels better, heart going human speed* oh nice. I'm dying of this now

[gothhabiba]

I still cannot believe that I decided to get a double major at the LAST possible minute & in order to do so had to take an overload of SIX classes including TWO senior seminars aka basically the equivalent of DOUBLE an average courseload and I GOT A 4.0 FOR THAT SEMESTER. while also working a part-time job & taking part in a research project & presenting another research project

[nukenai]

I wish I didn't feel so anti-therapy for myself due to horrible experiences but like. I gave it 3 strikes and aahhh

First I was sent to a counselor in 3rd grade, because I cried during class because I was nervous about being forced to play an instrument in front of the class. The teacher told the counselor my reaction was "over the top", forgetting I was 8 years old. The counselor gave me playdoh to play with, and when I showed her the bunny I made, she crushed its head between her fingers and said "oh sorry I didn't realize I was doing that"

The second time was in I think high school. Don't remember why I was there but I told the counselor that my home life was turbulent, and I fought with my mom and sister a lot. No kind of alarm-sounding info, just "I'm struggling". The counselor called my mom and told her everything I said, including the negative things I said about her. I got screamed at for an hour by my mom and told I should be lucky I have a home and have possessions and how dare I tell a counselor that she yells sometimes?! Imagine if I had omitted to the counselor that I was being abused and it got worse bc she told my mom everything? Holy fuck

Then my therapist I saw as an adult who told me "we have nothing to talk about then, you can go home" after 20 minutes when I was having a good day, but still charged me for an hour. She never wanted to hear anything but the issues I had with my family, and if I tried to talk about my interests (like video games) she'd say "oh I don't know anything about that" and change the subject. When I had a severe mental health crisis and had to cancel my appointment she let me know she was losing money and sent me an invoice then never contacted me again. Other things she did include: implying I will only ever be happy if I move out and get rid of my animals (which she never otherwise wanted me to talk about, since they were a hobby that brought me joy), and imply I was lying about my chronic illnesses.

I'm glad if therapy works for some people but when I hear "everyone should get therapy" I want to dissociate lmfao bye. Why am I cursed. And before anyone is like "find another therapist", that woman was the only person in my entire area who had hours outside of the regular workday (because I have a FT job) who participated with my insurance 🤷‍♀️

[tibby]

“Former gifted kid” who claims that they hate the education system and gifted program because it messed them up but still clearly have a massive superiority complex about the fact that they were placed in the gifted program even though being “gifted” doesn’t mean shit other than that you might have had a better memory, have a misunderstood genius complex because they liked Greek mythology when they were twelve and wrote some Harry Potter fanfiction once (literally everyone did both of those things when they were 12) and constantly woe is me about it while ignoring the fact that being told you’re smart and being put in the gifted program as a kid has NOTHING on being labelled one of the “stupid special ed kids” and that while schools may put pressure on the kids they label “smart,” they chronically neglect and give up on kids they label “stupid.” Oh and they also try and use “gifted kid burnout” as an excuse for literally everything when really they’re just lazy and seem to think that natural intelligence and academic talent is worth more than hard work when in reality a “gifted” kid getting an effortless A+ without studying will NEVER be as impressive to me as somebody with a learning disability fighting against that “stupid” label, showing up to class everyday and trying their absolute hardest, studying every single night, asking their teachers for extra help, taking all of the extra time they need after class to finish the test even when everyone else has already left to go to lunch, and then FINALLY getting a B+ that they worked their ass off for. Like I wasn’t a gifted kid nor was I a special ed kid (I do have a close friend who was considered a special ed kid and she told me all about how horribly the school treated them while simultaneously doting on the “gifted” kids) I was just a “normal” kid, however I just absolutely hate gifted kids with massive superiority complexes. (Derogatory)

lmao literally. i say this every time that i accidentally restarted this discourse but “former gifted kids” don’t actually give a fuck about how the education system screws everyone over, otherwise they’d acknowledge the struggles that EVERY student face, and wouldn’t so desperately cling to the meaningless label. they just want to feel special and have an excuse as to why they’re not as Amazing as their tumblr superiority complex makes them think they are. i wish i did not get so annoyed about this topic and i wish i did not feel the need to constantly comment on it but each day i log on and see people my age refusing to grow up and put the effort in because it’s easier to fall back on being a ~former gifted kid~ and expect the world to cater to your needs because you’re clinging to the fact you could do basic addition in first grade. you are not the only people who suffer from mental illness that had trouble with school but you ARE the only ones who stamp their feet and have hissy fits instead of trying to adapt. if they actually gave a shit about the flaws of the education system then we could use ~gifted programs~ as a jumping off point to start a discussion on how the education system fucks over EVERYONE, no matter how smart you’re deemed, and that labelling kids as “gifted” when they’re like eight can have a lasting impact on their self worth and motivational skills. but if your issues with the education system begin and end there and you also continue to insist that you were one of the ones that were Actually gifted and still cling so strongly to that label and refuse to move on or get help or build an identity outside then you need to like. grow up and realise that they weren’t the only people damaged by the education system and that basing your self worth entirely on being told you were special because you could read as a child is incredibly unhealthy. like i’m sorry but at a certain point you need to realise that you’re not A Special Angel and that you need to figure out how to adjust and work hard in a way that works for you. if you’re 25 and don’t have basic research skills because you never had to study as a kid then that’s on you lmfao. kids with far more difficult barriers and much harder struggles learned how to deal with it when they were children, and it’s just incredibly selfish to expect them to throw you a pity party now that you’re an adult. grow up.