#oh but also good news for all the ppl wanting her to get a divorce in my hcs she was never married in the first place <3

[chisatowo]

Y'know one thing I find funny is that it seems like everyone else's reaction to Ena's mom in the last 25ji event was to be like omg finally a good sekai parent while mines was cool time to give Ena and Akito mommy issues too

[chaotic-iguana]

bruh.

what. what the fuck.

writing started off as an exploration; a hobby that i was just trying out. something new, to pass the time. but i feel like it has now evolved into an extension of my art. over time, my stories starting having more and more elements of the poetry-inspired commentary i like to have in the forefront of my paintings, or very simply the imagery i used to include in my poems themselves.

but that isn’t even the best part.

i’ve been writing for around a month, and i absolutely adore literally every single mutual i have on here. @breakfastatjoels, @mandoisapunk, @josephquinnswhore, @bastardmandennis, @nostalxgic, @pedrosaidsheispunk, @theywhowriteandknowthings @millerscoffee

you’re all such inspirations im so glad to know u all thank u all for existing i gen would not have kept writing/still be on this site without yall and i promise im wrapping up i just think its a little fucked that im…gaining traction? how? and the crazy thing?? that list of ppl tagged up there are like just the ones i could remember off the top of my head!! there’s so many more! @imherefordeanandbones, was my first follower and the first on my taglist, and one of the first people to make me think my writing was actually not that bad for a beginner!!

anyways while i literally question everything and melt in gratitude, i hope you all have great days. thank you very much. let’s hope we see many more!!

enough sappy shit.

as a celebration, im gonna write fics, blurbs or hcs (saw/nsfw) based on the following prompts:

this is from @havenoffandoms 800 follower celebration! just send me your character pairing and prompt. list below the cut

“I’m in love with you. Please, don’t leave me.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“It’s really not that complicated.”

“You’re in love with them, aren’t you?”

“We could get arrested for this.”

“I thought you were dead.” 

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Love is overrated.”

“If you think I’m going to talk to you while you’re dressed like that, you’re wrong!”

“Do you ever actually use your cellphone?”

“You don’t need to protect me.”

“You fainted… right into my waiting arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You have to make a choice.”

“You have to remember.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“You know, it’s okay to cry.”

“You lied to me!”

“You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”

“You need to wake up cause I can’t do this without you.”

“You’ll be the death of me.”

“The only thing hotter than seeing your orgasm is seeing your smile.”

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that? Your body is for my eyes only.”

“From the minute I met them, there was no choice. They’re smart. They’re strong. They resent their parents enough to go for a person like me. Also they’re crazy hot.”

“What do you mean, I’m not scary? I literally nearly scared the life out of a man?” “You literally scared a little saliva and a little urine out of him.”

“When someone your age dies, you instinctively want to hear it was of something that could never happen to you. Well, it’s the same with divorce.”

“I get to stay home and plan the death of Dora the Explorer. Fill her backpack with bricks and throw her into the Candy Cane River.”

“You don’t ‘take a run’ at a person. You woo them. You make them feel special.” “Hey honey, look at this. It’s a picture of my butt.”

“I don’t like you.” “I’ll get over it.”

“You’re one of the most beautiful person I know, and you don’t even know it.” “No, I know it.”

“Why do you always have to throw wet blankets on my dreams?” “I do not.” “Yes you do. And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams.”

“So you’re gonna throw me under the bus?” “Oh, I’m gonna throw you so hard I might even win a stuffed animal.”

“Who wouldn’t be angry if you ate all the cereal and faked your death for three years?”

“Quick, catch the cat it stole my coin pouch!”

“I feel like I was just hit by a car… wait, I did? And it was YOUR car?”

“I can’t believe I’m sitting in a dungeon with you of all people.”

“So why do I have to punch that guy?”

“I may have accidentally sort of adopted five goats.”

“I hope you know that my name is actually _____”

“Please stop petting the prisoners.”

“Please put me down, it’s just a sprained ankle.”

“So what if I broke my arm, I’m still doing it.”

“Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2am?”

“I’m like 75% sure this won’t explode in our faces.”

“You know how my people are, we would destroy ourselves just for spite.”

“Wait, is that what you were trying to do? I’m sorry, I would’ve taken you much more seriously if I knew.”

“Let’s not blow the extortion charge out of proportion. My boss was just a sore loser.”

“Of all things, you would have thought that the rain was innocuous enough. Turns out, nothing is innocuous in this Gods forsaken place!”

“It’s illegal to make unauthorized species. But it’s also illegal to kill endangered species. Thankfully, I only did one of each.”

“The secret ingredient isn’t human flesh, that’s all I can say.”

“Where’s the king?” “He’s being chased by a wyvern. It’s an old tradition, you see.”

“If I serenade for you, will you strip for me?”

“This is new.”

“Make me.”

“Shh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

“If you steal the blankets, I’m going to put my cold feet on you.”

“Don’t be stubborn. Try it.”

“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”

“I heard you talking in your sleep.”

“The thought of losing you scares me.”

“Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”

thank you. love you all.

[anonymouspuzzler]

As a humble connoisseur of the Psychic 7 I'm curious if u have any headcanons for them ur particularly fond of, esp if maybe its something youve never rly seen other ppl hc/talk about (tho well agreed upon hcs are also the bees knees)

OH BABY LET'S HAVE A THINK I'LL TRY TO BRAIN A SOMETHIN FOR ALL THOSE WONDERFUL OLD PEOPLE. under cut for length and spoilers

Otto: I'm so with everyone who's like "oh he's so sus and fucked up wait no actually he's normal wait no he's so fucked up". I think his brain is probably a mess but like in a way where he's able to function from day to day. I feel like maybe he's also the kind of guy who like... how to put it. He sometimes has a hard time remembering that just because he's passionate about and invested in something, doesn't mean everyone else around him is going to be equally as passionate and invested. (Especially after the Psychic 7 started splitting apart and having their own issues - hard to pull him back down to earth when you're too busy having your own breakdown.) I also really like the idea of him being at least part-Grulovian and having met Lucy when they were much younger, hence being in contact with her when they started the Psychonauts.

Ford: That man bi and he and Otto are Divorced (they never married) (they barely dated) (they're divorced) (they're still dating). Now that I write it out I think maybe he only had pretty casual relationships until Lucy. It feels like she was maybe the first and last person he really considered Settling Down with - all the more reason for him to be hit so hard by losin' her. I also love the idea of him eventually trying to become a mentor to Frazie, specifically because she seems to have teleportation powers and I feel like he'd want to hand down his unique power and help her refine that, which would be funny because she seems to resent him more than any of the other Aquatos.

Bob: I always interpret him as having lived in the Gulch before the Psychonauts were even a thing - that was just his family home, eventually Ford and Otto and Lucy moved in, he started talking to them and that was that. (I think it'd be funny if he was like, their local food supplier when they started crashing in the woods, he just kinda knew them as regulars who'd buy a crate or two of veggies every week or so, and eventually he and Otto got to talking and what the fuck Otto realizes he's a psychic and the rest is history.) I also really like the idea of Truman visiting him in the Gulch a lot growing up - this is a bit of a tangent but I like the idea of Truman pushing to found Whispering Rock and/or the Intern program when he became Grand Head specifically because of his fond memories of visiting the Gulch and developing his powers under the tutelage of the Psychic 7.

Compton: I really like interpretations where he like - kind of mutually separated from his partner on good terms. (Maybe even did it in part so his Accidental Violent Escapades slash new life in the woods doing psychic research wouldn't have a negative impact on his kid(s).) By the same token this started out halfway as a joke but I like interpreting the lady running the cafeteria at the Motherlobe as his daughter; she's got just the right combo of Sass + Eccentricity plus apparently ferrets at home, and it just feels right to me that Sam would have, like - a parent that's an employee but not an agent, y'know? If that's the case, I feel like she probably had a kinda distant relationship from him growing up (in large part due to him Fucking Off Into The Woods) but made an active effort to reconnect now that she's an adult and especially once she had her own kids.

Helmut: I think the poor guy really missed his calling with the Psychonauts shifting from spy & agent work more towards education (as we see with stuff like Whispering Rock & the Intern program & the apparent interest in kinda training/tutoring the Aquatos post-2). Like, in a world where he didn't get frozen, he'd probably running or at least working at Whispering Rock, putting on big psychic performances with the kiddos. (Granted, he would've had to have make it through the 20 years of spywork, which I think would have been tough for him.) Also I bet Quentin has like an ancient limited-press vinyl of his that sold like, 5 copies, and is Starstruck if he ever meets him and Helmut gets a HUGE kick out of that.

Cassie: LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!! But ahem anyway where was I. I think one of the things she probably struggled with post-Grulovia (alongside uh. everything else. obviously) was probably, for lack of a better word, the like... legitimization of the Psychonauts? Like, much as she's very sweet and a natural mentor, Cassie's also rough around the edges; very much a do-what-you-gotta, anti-establishment type of gal. (love her for that.) I feel like suddenly having to work with The Government and go through official channels and be all organized and doing paperwork and reports and stuff probably rubbed her the long way and contributed to her feeling like she was getting left behind in the changes.

Lucy: This is all but text but like... I feel like Lucy probably had very mixed feelings about her decision to leave Grulovia. On the one hand, she got out of a place that was actively becoming more dangerous, out of a place where she was lonely and heartbroken after her husband's death, to this great new opportunity to use her powers and make lifelong friend and find a second chance at love with Ford. On the other hand, she had to leave behind a home she'd been in all her life and loved very much, in a time of great turmoil that she clearly feels she should have been able to do more about, and above all leaving behind her beloved sister. I wonder if maybe she tried to convince Marona to emigrate too and couldn't. I wonder if maybe part of what worsened her post-Astrolathe instability and made her suddenly rush back to Grulovia was that unconscious regret about leaving. Ain't no wonder she eventually broke, the poor thing.

[castle-dominion]

castle 6x14 dressed to kill

the fashion designer episode liveblog

dumpster diving my beloved Canon gay characters "I had it first" No you literally didn't

Wedding stuff. Inviting my older bro to watch this w me bc he likes wedding stuff. Something a little less... intense. KB: They are all very girly, with a lot of gauzy photos of love-struck brides looking off into the distance. Love set design btw. RC: Perhaps they’re contemplating the fifty percent divorce rate? MR: Of course it was the 70s so I can't be sure... Those two r so cute & martha is great <3

Hey we've recorded this location before KB: Matilda King JE: ... Ok. .??

LP: a scarf a sash or something. RC: Blue hairs. So she was killed by a little old lady. Or Katy Perry. Or a dr seuss character

speaking of, where IS ryan?

Nice apartment!!! Ryan's outfit. I also liked Esposito's but I didn't like it. Is it legal to be on call 24/7???

Isn't this already their statement?

Ryan tech stuff

u already need to be a hottie? Stare all you want! Actually no. Ew only hiring ppl who.. i'll shut up.

Big bro: oh no it's his mom? his mom is secretly matilda king?

Like Sifu

Recognizes her!?

About 15 minutes lol that's when she did modeling!

Wow bright pink fashion man. So many canon gay characters even tho... I think they ARE canonly gay but they are intended to be gay obv

& she has a business to run!

ella's dead? how? "we're trying to find out" u KNOW how: strangled

Poor serge.

nvm.

episode title: dressed to kill.

If you're fired by matilda that's a rite of passage.

bro says the fibres could have gotten on her neck & THEN she was strangled

Pretty normal looking guy

btw love the background artists

RC: Oh! I just came up with a new title. “Murder is the New Black”. KB: Does that even make sense? KR, showing up: No it doesn't

is it REALLY bigger than fashion?

bro: i think it's the big lady (matilda) liking ella's design & someone else taking credit so they can make it big Me: I'll write that down. *not telling him he's right*

Yay cordova! house!

Usually exterminators get RID of bugs

Black coral?

"yes that's him but his hair was more like this" Knows what he wore

RC: After a tough negotiation that involved my Knicks tickets and naming a character in my next book after his Nana, my friend came up with a name. Marcus Conway.

the captions <3 "couture chick" "that's "chic"

My man looks young but with grey hair Ooh she's hot, rly tall, I love her

Corporate espionage & that's why she was killed

Bro: her cell doesnt work from home!

probs just an online zine bro

Wow art. Wow wedding dress.

Ryan pretty.

The boys watching caskett be mushy KB: can you go with martha?

U could be a regular ex-military, u don't need to make everyone ex special forces babes

Ella called Marcus on the landline oh dear!

love the murder timeline

WOuld she do it herself? Bro: maybe she was pressed for time, didn't know who she could trust

Bro: I think it's the pink guy who heard the call as she was leaving & went after her to protect matilda or he needs to secure his position or he needs to prove his loyalty or he needs to frame matilda to get her job

She's on a call? Ask her to hang up politely? idk.

Wow she be yelling.

"it;s the clothing that stitches it all together, we are their fantasy!

It...IS temper babe

Matilda king is good at this capitalist evilhood.

Yeah illegal illegal gross illegal technically legal but shitty crappy

"What information? Don't say u don't know, say you cannot share. "the weekEnd" oOOohhhhhh so it's fine if hte COPS listen!

We need more beckett+ryan

That's a lot of audio footage. THey're probably rly good at seeing what is important while listening at 2(to 3)x speed. Bro & I were arguinng if it was audio recording or direct recording. Inane to YOU esposito, probs super interesting to sm1 who know what they're talking abt. KB: This directory lists over a hundred people who work there. JE: (wistfully) Yeah. (pause) Lucky I have crazy good hearing. (I'd like to learn more abt that. The man is p musical after all.) KR: *nods* it's true (when did he learn that?) Ah, take me out to the ballgame money atm from that one movie

He's supposed to be working at a fashion place???

She cryin I don't like this gal at all lol At least she says "excuse me" The model didn't show up :(

fall 2015 not 14 babe Nice wood on the walls

MR: Then don’t. I’m sure there’s another venue out there that the two of you will just fall in love with. Bro: the station

Beckett wedding dress Bro: it's gonna be HER dress? Bro: No it's not. It's so ugly. Bro: that's the worst way to do an overskirt, and the overskirt doesn't even match the rest of the outfit it looks sooooo tacked on after the fact. doesn't meet in the front, same length all the way around no taper, nothing to hide or blend the seam/joining point especially with how bulky it is especially at the top. t looks like they misread the instructions and put the petticoats over the dress instead of under it. it's not even white-white it's a warm offwhite which doesn't go with the silver at all. I am a huge fan of overskirts so believe me when I say it would be 100000x better without the overskirt.

Me: austrian crystal, I had earrings with that. What is is tho? Wiki: A rhinestone, paste or diamante is a diamond simulant originally made from rock crystal but … In the US, these are sometimes called "Austrian crystal".

while she's gone for 5 mins send a pic to castle Bro: I like the top of the dress at least, but it looks like they assembled it wrong

She's gonna say no. At least Castle didn' t put down the stuff before he called her. Oh she just claims she didn't want to rush it. Or maybe you could plan for fall 2015!

IT'S STILL THE SAME DAY?

JE: Just Yumi. It – I guess if you don’t have a last name you can charge more. (not clipping but good face.) JE: And in addition to the fact that this model is hot – (he studies the photo) – she’s wearing black coral. Bro out of the blue: two ugly guys & a dog JE: I’m probably going to have to call her in for an interrogation. (just so he can look at a pretty girl acab lol)

Yumi: Models. Lack of food makes them so very fraught.

Bro: It's only been ONE day!?!?!? Me: that's what I said!

Bro: that sash looks like the TYPE of thing she'd have, but I didn't see it specifically.

Love his fashion scarf still lol.

Maybe they were both subconsciously getting the ideas from the air. You come up with the same ideas all on your own. Like music.

Ew copaganda.

WAIT IT WASN'T HIM?

bro: it's the guy! the assistant guy! who I was suspicious of before!

Love all these people & looking weird.

Turns out mobsters are more ethical. Love the music bwang.

Love her jacket btw. & so this entire thing happened in one day but then at the very end it was boom morning new day get julian skip the facts getting the dumpster stuff, then boom take down the murder board & do paperwork & go home?

Ooh fire on in the background Like how she's talking with her hands KB: I wish my mom knew you Me: Maybe she was the one who first bought kate a richard castle book Bro: "actually I DID bang your mom." Me: !? Bro: "So you don't have to worry, she liked me a lot"

gtg cook supper bai

[anonil88]

The White Lotus (season finale)

I'm sad this is the last time hearing this theme song but I'm so glad that is only a "for now". It got picked ip for season 2 with new cast members and characters slated for next season. I think this intro is extended and I absolutely love it also I really would but all of these faux wallpaper designs.

As always spoilers below.

He's still sleeping on the beach wowwww. At least he made new friends, i love that for Quinn.

Yay we get to actually see him canoeing.

Girl, leave! Leave the ring and an address for the divorce papers.

Oooo the girls are fighting. Olivia has put things together I think.

Ew but at least their marriage is good....for now maybe until they go home. But I do hope for a while. Do married ppl really not be taking off their nightgowns for sex?

Is he dead? Is he the.... oh no he alive my bad. At least he is still there but I honestly think he has cancer or something. I think she is also wary.

Mushy af, both girls are disgusted. Even Paula who I'm thinking is going to try to stay on the island. Which I'm like um girl you're a mainlander....hmmmm

Paula knows they are over dramatizing the story but also feels guilty for getting Kai in trouble. He probably won't be seen again or briefly but once they leave I guess he will be okay. Maybe.

Rachel if your ass does not listen to Belinda.

Aw Quinn. I wonder if he can stay honestly it would be super beneficial for him. But also I'm having the same issue with Paula staying which is they are main landers in territory that native Hawaiians don't want non Hawaiian citizens to be and im like ehhhhhh

Shane did not just say that on the phone and also he did not say that he just mistold the story that they mistold. Yea he doesn't need a gun.

LEAVE HIM. But I do get she was all infatuated and "in love" and she saw him for who he really was on this trip. Which is a...... jackass. I wonder how many times this has actually happened to married couples on honeymoons. They realize on the honeymoon that the person they married is awful or that they are awful together.

He did not listen to her at all and is completely selfish. She never hid herself, but you did and are an absolute child to insult her. If he really loved her and did not view her as a trophy wife he would respect her feelings more. Not even more but at all because he doesn't respect them now and he never showed he truly respected them before. A literal man baby my God.

Fuck, Kai got caught or maybe he turned himself in. Paula really could end up an accessory to robbery with an intent to harm. Maybe we are now seeing that the plan wasn't so smart at all.

Tanya is giving me those vibes of the friend that only is around when they are having guy troubles or family issues. They never reciprocate emotions though. Slater's mom has got it going on and the ultimate milf icon turned down a younger man for stability. That is nice.

This is super pretty but I do really hope Quinn's parents even if they don't let him stay start respecting his interest and joy for nature.

Is Paula pregnant?!?!? I'm pretty sure there was no protection used. Olivia really doesn't understand reciprocity at all.

Oh damn she discarded the necklace, I wonder if he maybe told her he didn't want a child or that he was turning himself in.

She really has been sobbing this entire time oh my God, Rachel is actually a good person because how the heck she ever saw the good in this man is beyond me.

I fucking hate Shane, he really is getting Armond fired. Really hoping he doesn't spiral but I have a feeling he will. Omg I hope he doesn't die, but honestly leaving this job could be the best thing to happen to him, IF he stayed sober.

Paula got caught and kind of tried to spin it there for a second but I'm glad she is telling Olivia straight. Olivia bet not rat her out but honestly she had to be told the truth even though it fucking hurts and stings because reality hurts sometimes. When the rose glasses get ripped from you its scary , but she honestly deserved it.

Fuck, I'm hoping Tanya and Belinda's friendship ends on a good note but I think it won't. Yea it didn't and that is a fat ass stack of money but it isn't what she wanted. She wanted her own clinic which its kinda like fucked that she was kinda using Tanya for her money but its also messed up for Tanya to just ghost her once a man came along. This situation could have been so much more messy.

I keep thinking Dillon is going to die. Oh fuck Armond is high as a fucking kite. He said his last dinner and I'm really afraid he is going to die.

Paula is still at dinner with them, wow.

How are they still together. LEAVE HIM ! HE DOESN'T EVEN PROPERLY UNDERSTAND THOSE WORDS.

WHY DOES SHE KEEP SAYING I'M SORRY, MY GOD. He is the type to beat his wife and then blame it on his wife i fucking swear.

Olivia fell back into her families blissful rose colored glasses so fucking fast. That is how fake white woke people really are in real life, a lot of people are too chicken shit or too comfortable to openly call everyone in their family out. Maybe Olivia will get there but she's gonna have to do a lot more than read theory. She is going to need to apply it because for now she is a phony weak "ally".

The relief she should feel at him leaving is great.

Oh fuck another employee is getting high too, what if Hutch dies because I've never seen him before.

Yea this man is sick has to be. Bro, her mother just died.

OMFG is she finna end herself, please God no. This is too much tension.

This is an absolute rager, how wild would it be if they were just moving him to a different resort. Oh no, now several more workers are there

That parallel between Shane and Armondo is wild.

It's about to happen? I really hope this man rounds one off across Shane's jaw.

Will they or won't they be friends after they get home? I don't know.

Oh god, I hope he doesn't kill Rachel thinking its Shane. He should take a shit in his bag though.

Being arm candy is only nice when you want to be it, other than that it feels shallow. Belinda please tell her to leave this man before he puts his hands on her. Fuck, I do get being that tired though.

Yes! Take a shit! Take a shit! How did they get those fake steamers to fall so realistically, my guess is CGI. Omg he can smell the shit lmfao, he deserves it but I hope he doesn't hurt this man.

Oh FUCK no no no and its gonna look like self defense. UGH GOD and of course he dies in the pineapple suite, of fucking course he never got to escape that God forsaken place.

How the hell is Shane being hailed as a hero, he stabbed someone for taking a shit in his luggage.

Aw Quinn, sweet boy.

She let go of her mom finally, but for a man who will eventually pass and denying herself of her friend Belinda.

R.I.P Armond you truly deserved better than that piece of shit man ruining your life.

Noooooo don't turn into a woman version of Nicole's husband but without love. NOoooo I hate that so many women minimize themselves for a man like come the fuck on.

To the Shane's and Nate Jacob's of the world I hate you.

Back to being friends again but something has changed there.

He's isolated again but maybe he will just run away. Yep go on Quinn make your own roots.

And Belinda has to do this song and pony with a whole new cast of tourists ew. I hope Natasha Rothwell does come back though for season 2.

Aw Quinn.

Really good finale like really good.

Watching the talk back after and it makes me wonder how many of these white actors are as in tune with this conversation of whiteness and privilege that is at the center of this shows message as the writer and some of the other cast members. Hmmm anyway, really excited for season 2 which is only like a few weeks into the early early development stage what a lovely show to have fallen into. It started off slow but it did so in a way that made the world building develop in a way that once the action and anxiety rose the viewer is fully existing or moving in a space that feels familiar. Temporary but familiar and while I'm sure on a 2nd watch I can see all the things I did not like, but after that finale I'm very content and entertained. Armond as a character will forever be remembered for this and I love that.....which btw according to Twitter is an inaccurate way to rim.

[drwcn]

... You know, I was just thinking about Hua Mulan ChengQing AU. Hahah, ha. This movie is SOMETHING. Handkerchiefs are necessary.

oh I HEARD? but idk if i wanna see it. I’ve seen other things Liu Yifei (Mulan) was in and i don’t really like her? 

NOTE: OKAY so there were some confusion!!! Before ppl get offended, anon and I are taking about two different movies. The one that anon is saying is good is Mulan (2009) an original Chinese movie BC I had been asking ppl where to watch it and received many inbox msgs about it. The Disney film is what I won't be watching for so many reasons, including bc I know the actress's work and is just unimpressed by her in general on top of all the other reasons.

Oh boy, but like...what IF it’s reverse!Mulan, aka matriarchal society. Where Jiang Cheng is the “sneak into the army for my family c”!Mulan and Wen Qing is the “I wanted to be a doctor but then the Fire Nation exploded in on itself”!Shang. And I worldbuilded for no reason...

tw: minor character death (suicide). un-beta-ed, unedited, unproof-read, we die like nmj

WEN QING

Wen Ruohan was never supposed to be the Emperor, Wen Qing’s mother once told her, but the imperial court had allowed him to inherit because his late Empress Mother had no daughters to inherit the throne. As long as WRH promised to father daughters and pass on through them, then the Wen dynasty legacy would be preserved. 

“What did his wife say, that her children must take his last name?” Wen Qing had asked her mother, wide eyed and curious. Her mother had shrugged and said, “Well some women don’t mind, I guess, especially if it meant her children would be heiress of the throne.” 

Wen Qing had frowned at that. What’s so bad about children taking their father’s name, she wondered. Men may not be allowed the same liberties as women, may not attend public school or join the army or hold court with the Empress, but they were still children’s parents. Not all women agreed on this of course, but that was the way of their world. 

Her father died of consumption some years after Wen Ning was born, but Mother never took a second husband or a concubine. Wen Qing liked that about her mother. Brave, loyal, true. 

Wen Qing’s mother, Dafan-junwang, a distant relation to the throne, was a renowned marshal, hailing from a proud line of generals and marshals, trusted by the Wen imperial family as protectors of the realm, without fear of usurpation. The people whispered that Wen Qing had much to live up to, if she were to inherit her mother’s duchy and hold a command of her own. 

Wen Qing never had much interest in war or martial arts, but she learned, trained, practiced and perfected her skills because she could never bear the thought of letting her mother down. In her heart (and in her free time), she learned the science and art known by father. He was a quiet man, a physician (quite skilled too), before he married her mother. He wasn’t what her grandparents would have wanted for their daughter, but Mother had been adamant. 

Wen Qing’s mother hadn’t been good at expressing her love, but she did love her husband. Very much. Mother was only ever soft around Father, and Wen Qing only knew this because she’d seen them hold hands when they thought no one was watching. 

Wen Ning, being the son of a wealthy aristocratic family, was destined to marry well when he came of age. Unlike girls, boys weren’t allowed to attend publicly funded scholarly schools or martial academies. Wealthy and noble families however were able to afford private tutors for their sons, so that they would know the four arts (play the qin, weiqi, literature, and art) and be elegant, competent husbands for their wives. If Wen Ning was competent enough, charming enough, and gave his wife daughters (because everyone knew it’s the men who control the sex of the baby), then she would be faithful to him -> at least that’s what their nanny said. 

“How did they know, that men determined the sex of the baby?” Wen Qing asked her mother one evening when she turned thirteen and was given The Talk. 

Her mother tilted her head and said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “My dear, women are the earth, we grow and birth life. Men are like the seeds. If you plant an apricot tree, the earth will nourish it and let it flourish, but the fruit will always be apricots, you will never have peaches.” 

Once, Wen Qing had asked her mother if she could be a physician instead, if Wen Ning could take her place as general. Her mother had given her a very stern look and said, “No only is your brother of a sickly disposition, but you are my daughter. The duchy and my command can only be inherited by you. For your country, you do not have a choice.” 

Wen Qing conceded, because she was good.

The days dragged on, and slowly it was becoming clear Wen Ruohan would have no daughters. Not only so, the sons he fathered were ill-mannered and haughty, unfit to rule. Wen Ruohan’s mind, too, was slowly leaving him, due to unknown reasons. The ministers of the court and notabilities of the peerage urged Wen Ruohan to take on the daughter of his cousin born of his maternal aunt, and to groom her as heir. This brought on much discontent from Wen Roohan’s two princes, who aligned themselves with lurking enemies from the north, and before anyone could mitigate the situation, the country was thrust into a full blown civil war. 

Every bit her mother’s daughter, Wen Qing did not hesitate to mount her horse and ride off into battle. She had her duties and she would serve until her death. 

Jiang Wanyin had a very pretty face - she would reflect in retrospect. Perhaps that was why she believed him when he showed up at her camp with a conscription missive claiming to be his older sister Jiang Yanli. 

JIANG CHENG

The Jiang family was a wealthy merchant family situated southeast of the capital, in the province of Yunmeng. The current head of family is Jiang Ziyuan, known for her sharp business mind and sharp ways with her sword.  

(the only reason i’m switching Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s last name is because it’s a matriarchal society, and Yu Cheng and Yu Yanli sounds way too awful as names, but Yu Fengmian and Jiang Ziyuan are actually not bad.) 

There was a rumour that her husband Yu Fengmian of a Meishan Yu clan, had betrayed her with a wandering traveler from the pugilist world named Cangse...something something, and that he had fathered a son with her out of wedlock. If it were true, then by the conventions of the land, Jiang Ziyuan would have every legal right to divorce Yu Fengmian and send him back to his family to live out the rest of his days in seclusion, shame and repentance. 

But when Yu Fengmian came to her with the little Wei Ying, freshly orphaned, Yu Ziyuan turned the boy this way and that, examined him for “abnormalities” and nodded. Then she summoned her son, and said to him, “Our manor purchased  some new indentured servants. This boys is yours from now on, he is your responsibility. Keep him in line, find some uses for him, or get rid of him.” 

Jiang Cheng looked to his big sister, but his sister just shook her head. Not quite understanding what was happening, or why his father was bowed down on the floor, Jiang Cheng took his new “servant” and left. 

Watching them go, Jiang Yanli then turned to her mother and said, “Muqin, if I may be so bold, I have an idea.” 

Jiang Yanli was not the heiress that Jiang Ziyuan had hoped for. Though incredibly intelligent, Jiang Yanli was of poor health and not suited for martial training. Jiang Ziyuan had been quite troubled by this for some time, fearing others would cause trouble once Jiang Yanli inherits. However, she was also hesitant to train her son Jiang Cheng, even though he showed both interest and aptitude. It was not often that well to do families would want to take on a too “rambunctious” boy as groom for their daughters. Yet to leave Jiang Yanli without close protection... 

“Are you thinking that boy...” 

Jiang Yanli nodded. “Father denies being Wei Ying’s paternal parent, but surely tongues will waggle regardless. Mother, you are within your right to dismiss father, but he is still my father, and if not for me, think of A-Cheng. One day he will marry, and what family would want a son with a disgraced sire. Wei Ying looks healthy and strong; as I am unfortunately unable to train with the sword, mother may yet train him. Surely you’re not worried about his future marriage prospects. Perhaps it is better yet that he never marries, for he will remain close to Lotus Pier and serve at my side.” 

Jiang Ziyuan listened to Jiang Yanli’s words and decided that her daughter made very valid points. Her relationship with her husband could never be repaired but she had her children’s future to consider. 

And yet happiness would not last for long. Two months after Jiang Yanli’s sixteenth’s birthday, she received news that her mother’s private boat, which she used to inspect her properties, had capsized in a terrible monsoon storm, killing everyone on board.  

After the news reached Lotus Pier, Yu Fengmian took his own life in the dead of night, leaving a letter stating that he had owed Jiang Ziyuan too much to repay, that though Wei Ying was not his son, he had kept secrets from her that he swore he would not reveal in this life. Now that she’s gone, he would keep her company in her journey to the beyond. 

The Jiangs mourned, but they survived.

Then when the boys turned seventeen, war broke out over the lands, and the conscription missives arrived demanding one female from every household. Jiang Cheng panicked. Wei Wuxian had been sent to Gusu on business and would not return for some time. The military missive was time sensitive, so Jiang Cheng didn’t have another choice...besides it’s not like A-Jie’s matchmaking attempts for him had been all that successful...he was next to blacklisted anyway after his last debacle with the Qin girl. 

Jiang Cheng decided that he could pass as a woman if he dressed properly and redid his hair, but his voice...he'd just have to pretend he could not speak. That way, no one would know. 

WQ: “Who are you?” 

JC *hands her his letter* 

WQ: “Jiang Yanli? The Yunmeng Jiangs? Of Lotus Pier?” 

JC: *nods*

Her subordinate, “I didn’t know Jiang Ziyuan’s daughter was mute, they only said she was of poor health.” 

-

Luo “Mianmian” Qingyang finds out first. 

Mianmian: *GASP and points* You’re a man! 

JC: *covers his body* SHH!!! Turn around! Don’t look at me! *turns to look away*

Mianmian: *naked by the river ready for a bath but too shocked to move* but, but, but, how?? How did we not know????

JC: Mianmian - no- Lt. Luo, please don’t tell the Young Marshal! Please, I only came so my sister wouldn’t have to -

MM: Cowardice! It is every woman’s sworn duty to - 

JC: My sister is of very delicate health. She won’t survive! She’s my late mother’s only daughter, if she dies... I’m expendable. I don’t mind being cannon fodder, please don’t report me. 

-

JC shivering in the snow. “You said you trust Yanli! Why should Wanyin be any different?!” 

WQ stood impassively over him with a sword at his neck. Then, she closed her eyes and turned away. “A life for a life. My debt is paid.” 

---

JYL: *Proud* “A-Cheng helped secure the future of our nation. The adopted young crown princess was too young to rule without a loyal regent, and Wen Ruohan’s sons colluded with outside forces...it would have been chaos. Millions would have died.” 

WWX *teasing* “Sure he brought home a sword, if you ask me he should’ve brought home a wife!”

---

JC, “W-would you like to stay for dinner - ” 

WWX: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER? 

JC: Wei Wuxian! She’s regent now, be respectful!” 

WQ: Dinner...sounds lovely. 

[tellywoodtrash]

Hi TTji, here I am with more TV digest. SP: MHRW - Amma replaced by new actor with HECK LOT foundation to 'darken' her and Raghav is TPDBD. Same plot (luck again FL, ML taking badla, FL turns innocent, ML being savior) in a loop. YRKKH - Sensible for time being. Sirat's ex is in picture. Kartik & Sirat have healthy convos. Obv Rhea is dying to break the marriage and grab most wanted Munda for herself. SNS - Most sensible leads as of yet? The show still remembers she wants education??? [1/4]

Aksjdlsakjdlskajdlskajldkjslj TPDBD has truly entered myyyyy daily vocabulary as well. It’s such an amazingggggg acronymmmm. Fitteh muh on these fucking ppl who can’t just hire one actual dark skinned actress. I hate this show without even watching it because of everything it stands for. It offends me on a personal level. 🤬🤬🤬

Ofc YRKKH mein abhi bhi shaadi ka silsila jaari hi hai. Ouff, India ke wedding industry ko iss ek hi couple ne kaayam rakha hua hai. 🤑🤑🤑

SNS ke baare mein I never cared, and I never will. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

YHC - Not Chaahat, only mystery and horror like Aahat. FL attempting to expose villains but ML blind cuz it's his true mum and step bro. Anu - Overdramatically yet sensibly depicting divorce and it's ripple effects on fam (kisses for healthy maa-beta & saas-bahu jodi). SM - Preeti is replaced by Nupur from MJHT.  KT pretends to be good friend Keertan and shitty rich dude KT to Nu-*cough* Mohi/Preeti. Idk abt the kids. Imlie - Malini reacts normally seeing Imlie wear her sindoor. Finally [2/4] 

NO CHAAHAT, ONLY AAHAT 🤣🤣🤣

Anupama, SM, aur Imlie reiterating the life lesson ki pyaari beheno, zindagi mein kuch bhi karo, parrr shaadi mat karo, saaaaalon tak siyaapa hi siyaapa hai. Just be single, have awesome friends and pets, aur mazze ke life jiyo.

SAAKK - FL thinks ML in love with ex. ML clears the air, tells *cough* yells I LOVE YOU DAMNIT *oh wait that was another show* but same and FL is like WOAH. PANDYA - No one realises the DISASTER getting FL forcibly married to her beloved's brother (who marries his own lover) cuz now she gotta live in the same house with her beloved but as his bhabhi? ANNS - The  blind ML has been the most aware ML in ITV history. Understands to-be-wife being slighted and flips shit! Next is Zee, Sony & Colors 

SAAKK ki incredibly cute FL is stuck in such a michmichi-inducing (for me) show ke mera dillllllllllllll dukhta hai. Koi isko aur GHKPM ke Sai ko bas foreign bhej do where they can do padhaai and become their best selves without being distracted by boy troubles. Sahi kehte hain desi maa-baap, padhai ke waqt ladkon ke chakkaron mein nahi padna chahiye, warna poori zindagi kharaab ho jaati hai. Abhi dekh bhi liya.

Pandya mein seeing Sonakshi from KHKT ki bitchy choti behen be one abla bechaari, and Nazar show waali achchi behen being a hellraising chantomayi is giving me whiplash. Beech mein bechaare bhaiyya-bhaabi jabaran phasein, who kinda deserve it coz honestly wtf were they thinking forcing this bloody shaadi no one wanted. 🙄🙄🙄

ANNS ka hero is wholesome bean but ouff the FL’s family (???? is it even her family? Or her sister’s sasuraal or some shit in which case, phew.) Anyway kaafi off-brand Gauri Kumari Sharma vibes mil rahe mujhe FL se toh I can’t somehow get into it yet. 😐😐😐

ZEE. Kumkum - Pragya asking fam members to help her (Abhi in jail) Rhea (the twin who hates Pragya) agrees. Kundali - Preeta has her hair perfect in jail while ML tries to fix shit. Jindri - Locking wife in room is the new way of showing love. Katti Batti - shit show from promo so no info (total biwi#1 when she should be dumping his dumb ass). Rest IDK, the plots above my head. SONY. 7 1/2 - The show has bad prod quality for some reason. Not watching. (need more space for next so see you in #5) 

Yeh poora ka poora ZEE channel hi nahi chahiye mereko. Nothing on it has appealed to me since Qubool Hai and I highly doubt anything ever will. Bleargh. 🤢🤢🤢

Yeh 7 1/2 kaunsa show hai Sony pe??????? 🤔🤔🤔

KUDCA - FL runs away from marrying Veer. He hires fake bride (turns out it is FL who was briefly reunited with her bff who is now kothewaali). COLORS. Namak - Always abusive ML (can't act) now in love with FL (can act) and his family is shitty, as usual. Pinjra - Makers pulled a Main Na Bhoolungi. SSK - archaic shit is back. Shakti - ML post plastic surgery trying to convince FL that he is ML. Fans hate new actor btw. BB - Kid topped, so going to hostel? Bawara Dil - TOXIC SHIT!!! Love, Baby J

KUDCA ka main kya hi boloon, whole thing sounds like a clusterfuck.

Namak is such a weird mindfuck of a show, beech mein kuch kaala jaadoo type bhi hain. ML nafrat se pyaar tak pohunch gaya lekin majaal ho jo uske chehre pe shikan tak aaye. Someone explain to me why that Nazar waali daayan ki character is the mom to two of the ladies (who are easily in their 30s, yet mummy looks younger......... Must be all the kaala jaadoo), but everyone calls her didi, including her daughters??? Also why do these two families live together???? Why does this show exist in general??????////

Pinjra waali shaayad na bhoolegi but I sure forgot this show exists. Thank god for my brain just filtering out the info it doesn’t want and being like sorry 404, page not found. Saves me a lot of rage.

SSK mein I just need to know what new species Simar (or choti Simar, or whoever) is gonna metamorphize  into. May I suggest a cow, since that’s the only animal that gets any respect and protection in this country these days.

The way I gaspeddddddddddddddd when I saw OG Anurag Basu backkkkkkkkkk??????// Bhai is on what virgin-blood-drinking regimen ki he still looks exact same???? Sir pls to share sekrits.

Bawara Dil - First I’m ever hearing of this show, and thus, I really dgaf.

[dyketectivecomics]

I started typing this out last night & work was slow today, so here's some backstory/building blocks for the Batcavers AU (long post is Long so under a cut it goes!):

Bruce's adventures in solo spelunking & cave cartography started about when he's 15/16 & goes back down the well on a whim. Martha gets worried when he starts spending too much time alone down there tho & makes Bruce promise to never go without a friend

his usual go-tos are Harvey & Tommy, but a couple times when Zatanna was in town, she joined him. we love childhood friendssss

(now insert some benign reasons for idk other heroes/rogues to join him somehow fdjksla idk man. these are early years stuff)

i know i said it earlier, but all the rooms/Major formations follow a shakespeare theme. all of bruce's friends call him a Nerd for it fjdakls;

Bruce becomes a professional spelunker & speleologist and develops out the cave for the public to enjoy & continually explores and maps out the system. he's a big advocate for Bats too

and that's how the Media dubs him..... "The Bat Man" fkjdsalf; ROLL CREDITS

So the Tour Guide Kids:

So Dick & Babs were some of the first kids hired who have stayed the longest, obvsly. (dick's nickname is still robin bc circus origin is the same lmao. Babs gets the 'Batgirl' nickname for a few years when she gets chased by a couple of them lmao)

Dick fell in love with the cave when Haly’s visited gotham and his parents took him on one of the tours. When Dick starts college in Gotham, he works at the cave part-time mostly in the ‘off’ season (but a little over one summer too when he doesn’t tour with halys bc of some summer courses he’s signed up for).

Babs has been working at the cave for a few years ahead of him. At this point in time, Dicks been promoted to a supervisor/senior guide position & Babs works mostly in admin and overseeing communication (& eventually earns the New nickname of 'Oracle' bc somehow she's always able to predict exactly what ppl are radio-ing her about lmao)

They’re constantly flirting and it’s an open secret that they’ve dated off and on at this point. Y’all this kinda shit happened SO much at my cave, the drama was RIDIC Aksjaksj

Tim and Steph start around the same time & stick around a little longer than most guides. Tim makes a niche for himself working retail and eventually moves over to the main ticket sales/admin office. He and babs absolutely Crush things when they're working overlapping days. Steph's somehow wormed her way to being under Dicks wing rn being trained as another Head Guide.

tim's nickname is 'red robin' is bc he suggested they all have dinner together after work & they somehow had the Worst Dining Experience Ever™. Steph gets her 'Spoiler' nickname bc she constantly brings up new TV show episodes and just launches right into her Thoughts™ without asking and well fjdk Spoils Things

Harper and Duke start around the same time too, they're both newer to the whole operation & are still learning the Ropes. (yall got some of my initial thoughts on duke, so i'll just touch that Harper gets the Bluebird nickname bc Dick or Steph gives it to her lmao)

You're probably wondering 'wait, where's the Other Kids?' well BUCKLE UP BUCKO, bc its SELF-INDULGENCE TIME

Damian is the easiest to explain, in this the al Ghuls run another rival company, Bruce and Talia met in college and have an off/on relationship (divorced once MAYHAPS 👀) either way, Damian’s the result of that, Talia and Bruce share custody.

Okay, realistically, Everyone’s backstories can stay p much the same or be finagled to work out realistically enough to skirt by. Cass’ backstory needs to be straight up thrown in the garbage in this bc the League doesn’t exist akjsk SO here’s what I’m proposing instead:

We’re gonna shoe-horn the Jason & Cass twin theory and also have Bruce adopt them both bc REASONS. (Those reasons are, they were trying to steal Bruce’s tires and they were doing a REALLY good job of it w/ Cass distracting ppl and Jason doing his nascar tryout lmao, but Bruce caught on bc This Is Gotham and was basically like ‘you little shits (laughing the entire time)’ and the rest is History

ANYWAYS all of that to say that all three of them grow up basically having the run of the the cave and doin what they want aksj, Damian’s a little young yet in this to be giving tours/working, but all 3 have varying levels of interest in the cave

Jason loves being a guide, but is a little abrasive when ppl ask REALLY dumb questions. He WILL sass them if it’s something just objectively dumb. (Someone asked me when we moved closer to the highway. Like SIR) Cass likes giving the off-trail tours more than doing the big guided groups & likes helping with training new guides, so she’s more hands-on in those situations. Damian rlly rlly wants to help map out areas with smaller openings to see if he can find More Cave but it gives Bruce a heart attack having him down there and disregarding all safety precautions so he’s constantly being benched from that

Oh ye, so for nicknames, Jay gets Red Hood bc he’s always wearing a red beanie even when it’s the middle of summer. Cass gets the Batgirl one passed down to her bc she’s a pro at catching stray bats/somehow corralling ‘em to leave the main rooms. Dami is the baby bat/robin bc he’s always following either Bruce or Dick around when he’s on the property.

Let the Not-So-Shitty Summer Job AU begin hahaha

[luvargas]

     i think i just saw LUCILA “ LU ” VARGAS ride by on a golf cart . at least i think it was her . after all , CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD BY HOLE was blasting on the transistor radio . maybe she was on her way to work , i hear she’s a PERSONAL TRAINER . but she totally could have been on her way to SNEAK IN A SMOKE AT THE GARDEN . guess we’ll never know . you’ll definitely know its her when you see LOOSE AND TANGLED HAND WRAPS , BUTTON BADGES ON VEGAN LEATHER ,  AND HEAR THE SHRILL SOUND OF BICKERING around the country club . let’s just hope she stays off the green after hours or else the sprinklers will get her !

( new muse, messy thoughts, u get the gist. pls know the views of this chara do not reflect my own. the name’s katya, 21, she/her pronouns & im ready 2 party. feel free to hmu wnvr or drop a like to plot n ill com 2 u ! x — oh n pls be a pal n read this quick disclaimer. tysm ! )

BASICS

24 years old

15 april 1997

5′1″ or 1.55m tall

bisexual cis woman, she/her

aries sun, aqua moon, and aqua rising

love languages : quality time & acts of service

BIO POINTS

kid o’ divorce, lived w her ma in chicago til she was 6 then w her dad in highlands til 14 then back to her ma ! 

def a daddys gorl. so used to her white pop’s leniency that livin w her strict latina ma durin her teen yrs was So Not Her Vibe ergo * cue her rebel grrrl phase *

did not finish hs ! left senior yr 2 to go w her “ radically progressive ” college bf to [ insert dev country. ] they broke up after a few mos but she kept at that life for a couple more yrs

seen some places. lived in new countries. done some shit. some good, some sus, but all generally well-intentioned. tis a whole thing but u get the gist, nywy !

lu’s back in da usa by 21. rel w the ma is strained but the pa is chill w stuff, they kept in touch. he said shell get her college fund if she gets her ged so she does !

her dad is v active n stuff so shes just always been v sporty w him. lu turnin 23 w zilch plans worried him so he implored her to get certified as a personal trainer ! n when she did, he called in a few favors w a pal he knows et voilà ! ur hired.

LU AT WORK

shes been workin at the country club fr a little over a yr now. most her clients are influencer-type gals n they luv her bc shes can take rlly cute pics n stuff for content. lu sorta likes some of em n she fakes the rest for the bread. u can bet she clowns all em richies behind their back   

unless she got clients, catch her runnin’ about the club n minglin’ w the other workers. does it annoy mngmt ? yes. n she luvs that. but bc her soon-2-b-karen clients luv her n wont stand for her bein booted, she can milk that impunity

actually knows her shit n lowkey rlly enjoys the work. she picked back up the boxing n tae kwon do she did when she was younger plus she was always in the track team at school. v healthy lifestyle save for her smokin vice n the party moments

PERSONALITY 

passionate ! has lotsa opinions. helluva a drama queen, bit of a loud mouth, argumentative n stubborn but her heart’s in the right place, albeit a lil misguided. comes w the whole activist bit, bitin her tongue just aint it. highkey makes everythin political n smtms gotta realize .,.,. it just aint that deep chief. some say shes needlessly defiant, but maybe thats a in the beholder typa thing ? fingers crossed 4 lu’s sake

fun, fun, fun ! can be real naggy but shes no buzzkill. wannabe anarchist-slash-mutineer who wants 2 stick it 2 the man ! get rowdy go crazy

fight, fight, fight ! goin back to the first bit, she talks big. esp w like ,, men n the whites lol. she can actually walk her threats tho she isnt actually violent. w arguments, she likes to start em but finishin is ... ruff.  also any dare, she wont back down in either doin it or arguin why doin it wld be smth-ist. shes not the sharpest tool ok rip lu

loyal legend ! fr her friends n buds, shell turn a blind eye. pals r the only exception ! truly ride or die n will do errthng 4 em. v much a believer in the power of community n ppl needin ppl or wtvr, yk, all that stuff. shes mouthy but like, she helps ppl 

here’s a brief blurb n a more coherent look into lu as a character

TIDBITS

lu can understand spanish but hers is a bit broken, tis her secret shame shhh

she doesn’t believe in the institution. any institution. u name it, shes got beef

pls dont fact check her she cant hear u

probs lowkey thinks shes better than u bc shes vegan

prefers 2 be called “ lu ” n ny1 who insists on lucila is dead 2 her 

comments abt her not lookin like a pt w her height n frame will result in an earful n a dramatic outburst. it aint worth it chief

watches lotsa sports w her pops. mostly indiv ones. mma, boxing, tennis, track, etc

dont ask me abt her principles n politics, i cant explain em either. v inconsistent n just messy at this point tbh but here’s a lil attempt ig

she drives a 2018 prius n lives in a p nice 1br apt outside the club

her mom’s middle class n her dad is almost upper-middle class. he isnt a member of the club but, like ,,, he cld be if he wanted to lol. he spoils her sm while she hasnt rlly Spoken to her mom besides civility, rip they both stubborn, tis a vargas thing

she is v much in a comfy position money-wise n dsnt hav much Need to hustle but sis does hav a couple of organizations she regularly sends some dough to so thats nice ig

she went fr grassroots activist to a veteran twitter/tumblr/reddit/wtvr ranter n a change.org gofundme petition regular. is it burnout ? is she ok ? honestly who knows

WANTED CONNECTIONS / TAKEN CONNECTIONS

found family ! pals n squad wanted. y’all gotta hav patience or ear plugs to power thru her self-indulgent mini-rants but shell luv ya back tenfold !

carpool buds ? cld be a pal ! or maybe yall had a lil argument or small beef but lu still drives ym bc her pride ? said mother earth first even tho the tension n silly drama is funny 

homies to smoochies ! just sum nsa makin out. cld be pals, cld be flirty, idk, but if u wanna kiss her shes probs ok w that

smoke bud ! just sum1 thats her go-to 2 smoke w on her breaks. knows not to call her out on how its not healthy fr a trainer yada yada she knows ok. let her live

an ex ? idk yet shes not rlly datey but thats out there

crushes ! this bitch hot but does she know how to flirt ? not rlly. watch her fumble

debate club ! aka sum1 she bickers w relentlessly. its valid, sum1 fite her. r u a worker or a club member ? either works. its a whole club bc she can have tons, lu can be hella annoying n testy

clients ! self-explanatory. do they get along tho ? lets find out ! 

( im officially braindead now but if y’all got more ideas or think theres smth lu wld fit just lmk !!! down 4 wtvr, wld luv 2 hash it out w yall <3 ) 

[angeltrapz]

m sorry ur havin a rough night, but i come bearing Chainshipping asks 💙💙 I wld love to hear ur thoughts on Adam teaching Diana photography, n how Lawrence feels seein her bond w Adam! + also favorite lil things they do to surprise each other, when they know th other is havin a rough day but not admitting it, or just bc they thought th other wld like it— lil stuff to make each other smile. + bonus, as far as the polycule goes bc we’ve both kinda touched on tht it takes a lil while to warm up to th idea, how do u think tht conversation goes between Adam + Lawrence, n who is th first other member where Lawrence is like “oh hey, I love them too”

thank u,,, I appreciate it sm <33 I always love getting asks frm u!!

Adam + Diana bonding over photography:

ohhh my gosh that would be adorable!!! I feel like it takes a little while for Lawrence to feel comfortable with having Adam and Diana interact - not bc he doesn't trust Adam or think he'd be a bad influence, but just bc he wanted to be sure things were going to work out between them; he didn't want to put Diana through that, have her get attached to someone who might end up not sticking around (again, not bc he thought he and Adam would split! he just wanted to make sure they were established for a while is all). but the moment he does? ohhhh these two melt his heart on the regular.

I kind of have this belief that Adam is good with kids, but not even he knows why? he has a heart fr kids, he can't help it, but he certainly didn't see himself becoming involved w someone who already had children,, that being said he loves Diana, and she loves him just as much!! it's kind of similar to the Daniel situation but leaning more toward the parental side of things; she just thinks he's about the coolest adult she knows and it's very evident. so they get along really well and god does it make Lawrence happy - honestly, it only serves to make him fall harder. Adam lets Diana paint his nails and will paint hers, he builds pillow forts for them to hide in, he'll read to her before bed, things like that; it's honestly not a surprise that she's interested in his photography!

the very first time she asks him about it, it starts with her being like "this is really cool!! how did you get so good at doing that??" and Adam's just sort of like. You Think That's Cool?? and that's kind of when he starts to become aware of how highly Diana thinks of him,, he needs a whole moment later where he just hides his face in Lawrence's chest and breathes through it bc Holy Shit. this is also where it kinda starts to set in for him that like, this is his family. (the next time he has a moment like that is when she calls him dad for the first time, but that's later down the line!)

hdkjsaf anyway. I feel like he wld be really excited to share this with Diana!! knowing that she's genuinely interested in it helps a lot and the fact that she's such a visual/hands-on learner like himself also helps things along!! I really like the idea that he gets her one of those disposable cameras to kind of give her a chance to explore it herself, so like the three of them will be at the park, Adam and Lawrence sat on one of the benches (when Adam isn't chasing her around the playground), while Diana runs around (within their line of sight, of course) and takes pictures of everything she finds interesting + worth capturing and Lawrence just sort of sighs and says "she's having so much fun. I love you." and Adam's just. "I love you too,,, 🥺🥺" it's so overwhelmingly domestic that Adam just needs a second to sit w it,,

Diana's also a quick learner so it's really cool when they compare her pictures to ones she takes later on!! it's definitely something that serves to strengthen their bond and kind of the catalyst for Adam to realize Hey, Diana Loves Me Too (ESP bc I feel like Adam would be super nervous around her at first, due to being Lawrence's new partner/not Alison, so her approval actually does mean a lot to him,, I gotta be honest I think abt chainshipping + Diana family dynamics all the time)!!

for Lawrence it's just like. Diana's approval ALSO means the world to him. he Loves seeing his partner and his daughter getting along so well; Lawrence didn't ever really envision himself being divorced prior to their game (even if he and Alison had discussed it/at least a separation of sorts), so he's kind of unsure about navigating dating after something like that, especially where Diana is concerned, so to have her love Adam just as much as he does is so so important. he definitely tears up over it sometimes, he can't help it. these are his two favourite people.

-

little things they do fr each other:

for surprises I think they're relatively lowkey just bc neither of them really like Big surprises,, most times it consists of smth like "I saw this and thought of you!" or "I thought you'd like this so I picked it up!" and that's more than enough for them. occasionally though they Do like the spoil each other in their own special ways, so sometimes Lawrence will come home from work and the entire apartment is clean, there's music playing from that little stereo they have, and there's Adam in the kitchen with flour and brownie batter on his cheek and his shirt and in his hair bc maybe he's not the best cook, but he can bake (at least. brownies.) and Lawrence will just stand in the threshold of the kitchen fr a little bit after dropping off his coat and briefcase and lining up his shoes in the hallway, just watching Adam with this lovesick grin on his face until Adam finally turns around and sees him (he's not shocked, Lawrence always announces himself) and smiles back and it's so. <333

other times Adam will come home from a shoot to see Lawrence on the couch with Adam's favourite takeout, already in his pajamas and with their comfiest blanket next to him on the couch, and he's got a movie ready (usually The Princess Bride, as I've mentioned b4,,) and is just like "hey, I know you haven't eaten yet so I ordered in. wanna sit w me?" and of course Adam is always like of course I do!!! it's definitely one of those things where he's just smiling the whole time because this is a level of bliss he never saw himself reaching b4 Lawrence. he never imagined having someone to come home to, someone who loves him like this, and it's as simple as Lawrence making sure he eats + just wanting to take the time to relax w him while watching smth they both enjoy to make Adam realize this is love.

as for little things they do fr each other when they're having rough days? for Adam, I like the idea that Lawrence tosses one of his sweaters into the dryer for a little while so that it's warm when he takes it out, and then he brings it to wherever Adam has holed up while he rides out a shitty day and is just like "here, I know you're not having a good day so I brought you this. it's warm :)" and Adam is always just. "thank you" bc verbalizing things is hard on his bad days if he's not completely nonverbal (he does know the sign fr thank you + teaches it to Larry so he knows), but on the inside he's definitely just like 🥺🥺 ohhh my god I love you so much?? the other is that he'll make one of Adam's favourites for dinner because he firmly believes in the concept of comfort food serving to make things a little bit better. then they'll just sort of curl up on the couch or in bed and Adam will hide for a little while (like u've mentioned b4) until he feels good enough to at least lay his head on Lawrence's shoulder and watch him read/fill out crosswords (my fave hc concerning Lawrence is that. he likes them. he gets books of 'em Adam is so endeared by it).

for Lawrence, since he's the kind of person that throws himself into performing tasks (stress cleaning, paperwork, tending to things around the apartment, etc.) to keep his mind off of how upset he's feeling, I think the biggest thing Adam does is after a little while of Lawrence doing his thing, he'll come up behind him wherever he is and just kind of lead him away like "why don't you rest for a minute." and at first he wasn't rlly receptive to it, preferring to just sort of shake Adam off and be like "I'm okay, thank you for asking," even if he was very obviously Not Okay. eventually, though, all Adam has to do is put his hands on his shoulders and knead for a little bit before Lawrence just sighs and melts into it. he tenses up a lot, so his muscles are often really sore as a result, so when Adam does that it's a reminder to kind of sit back before that happens. the other, like you've also mentioned b4, is that Adam just holds Lawrence when he needs it, which is something he hadn't ever really experienced b4 but comes to appreciate very much. this is usually when Lawrence feels safest/the most seen + heard, so it's often where he cries it out, too.

otherwise it's just those little things; Lawrence will make Adam his cup of coffee in the morning, Adam will do Lawrence's tie for him b4 he heads off to work (his one weird ability, he supposes), holding the door open for each other when they're out and about, getting each other smth to drink + little snacks, stuff like that!! (one of my other favourites: sometimes when they go out for dates, Lawrence will pull Adam's chair out for him. Adam used to think smth like that wld be very stupid. when it's Lawrence, he comes to realize what was so endearing about it - not that he'd say that out loud tho)

-

polycule discussion:

I've actually thought abt this b4!! I feel like Adam wld be very very nervous abt it at first, just bc he knows it's something that a lot of ppl still consider to be unconventional + impossible, but he would definitely want to have that talk w Lawrence bc 1. that's his partner, and 2. of course he wants Lawrence to be aware of that/wants to hear what his feelings are. like u said though, he doesn't reject it entirely or anything like that - he just sort of needs time to understand it + see how it works, as it's absolutely smth he would have no prior familiarity with (esp being w Alison in a monogamous marriage).

the important thing here is Lawrence is comfortable asking questions. he might word things a little funny and might make Adam laugh a couple times, not unkindly, but he's genuinely so curious abt it and unafraid to ask (which is better than coming up with some false assumption)!! it's both delicate and not, which I think Adam wld prefer rather than it being too serious or bc of disapproval obviously. he always feels more comfortable in convos where they can still contain serious subject matter, but they can still laugh a little bit.

so it does take Lawrence a while to warm up to it, but not out of a place of ignorance/ridicule; he just needs to familiarize himself w it is all! and that makes Adam feel sooo much better abt it. of course there was never the intention not to tell Lawrence, but to have him accept it and maybe even consider it down the line does wonders to relax Adam.

I've actually thought abt who the first other member Lawrence kinda fell for wld be and I think it wld be Eric! it can definitely be partially attributed to the fact that bc Adam spends a lot of time around him (they ARE dating), Lawrence does too as a result, but there's more to their relationship than just being. boyfriend adjacent. they have things in common that they don't really w anyone else (i.e. being a parent that has been through a trap + had their kid directly endangered by Jigsaw and are helping them cope) and they kind of have very similar feelings (guilt/thinking things were their fault, feeling like they failed their kids, feeling like they're bad ppl like Jigsaw thought, things like that) so they bond through those things - and, of course, over both of them dating Adam.

u've mentioned this b4 + I agree w it so: I feel like Eric might kinda be the first person other than Adam to realize Lawrence's tendency to overwork himself to avoid having to confront his upset feelings. a big thing Eric does for him is he'll bring a little snack w him and maybe something to drink and he'll hand them off and be like "I know you're busy but you gotta remember to eat, I'm just gonna go chill over here," and then he'll just set himself up in a corner in the same room so that Lawrence isn't alone. he doesn't try to get him to stop, doesn't ask him what's wrong though it's clear he'd listen if Lawrence wanted to share, just makes sure he's taking care of himself + reminding him that ppl are there for him. and fr Lawrence that's kinda like. Oh. bc it's that silent type of understanding where they don't even have to announce it out loud. Lawrence doesn't feel the need to explain himself. having that not only w Adam, but Eric too, is definitely smth that sort of leads into that realization of "I think I love him too."

and there are moments where Lawrence will come to spend the night at Adam + Art?(it's up to you)/Eric's apartment when Eric falls asleep facing Lawrence while Adam is pressed up against his back and knowing the issues Eric has w his chronic insomnia + feeling safe enough to drift off to sleep easily, seeing the way being around Adam helps him relax and that being held leads him to sleep quicker than anything else, it just kinda makes Lawrence wanna hold him and not let go. he knows Eric wasn't shown that kind of tenderness often, that physical contact was something he was denied for so long, and it just. makes Lawrence Seethe that someone would ever do that to him, in this protective way that Lawrence can't deny feels a lot like love. it only ever increases when Eric wakes up screaming later and ends up with his face against Lawrence's neck once the tension fades away and he just sags against him, crying. Lawrence allows himself to hold Eric then, and he still feels like he never wants to let go. this man is so compassionate, so protective himself of the ones he loves and wld do anything to keep them safe. he is a big dog of a man that makes ppl feel held + understood and Lawrence loves him a little bit, he can't help it.

I think Lawrence finally fully realizes it when Eric stumbles across him having a panic attack bc he'd forgotten to turn the ringer off and it just so happened to go off at that moment. he's trembling and it's hard for him to breathe but Eric just kind of crouches down in front of him and is like "focus on me for a moment. can you do that?" and he rests his hands on Lawrence's upper arms. when Lawrence nods Eric takes one of his hands and places it on his chest n says "can you breathe with me?" and somehow, Lawrence steadily finds himself relaxing and able to draw more air in until he's not shaking as hard and he doesn't feel like he's sucking in air through a straw, and by then he's so exhausted by it all that he ends up with his forehead against Eric's sternum, and Eric just holds him, no words. and he says, "it's okay that it still upsets you, it's smth you can't help and that is fine. I just want you to know that." like he knew what Lawrence needed to hear, and it's just. oof. that's when Lawrence is just like Oh I See. I Love Him. I Love Him Too.

Adam is beyond delighted abt it when Lawrence actually tells him, and Lawrence can safely say that he's definitely more open to the idea after that!!

[tiptapricot]

tiptop. can i have ur hcs......... abt um..... oh god i didn’t think this far ahead. um. oh god ohfuck all i can think of is steve rogers and bucky barnes NO um. um um. uhhhh RUFUS! can i have ur HCs abt rufus?

Absolutely my good sir

He wants to be a rockstar growing up, as most people in BnT’s future do, but his band never quite gets off the ground

They still have fun though! They release a couple albums and have some local tours, and Rufus still has all their merch years later

He eventually gets a job as as a history teacher at BnTU

Death and brief drinking mentions under cut

He starts research on the Great Ones and stumbles upon a huge discovery while looking over some archived documents: the prophecy

He manages to get an audience with The Three Most Important People In The World and explains his findings

They take him on as a historical advisor, and assign him the job of righting any errors that might pop up in the timeline of the Great Ones, including several key junctures Rufus has mapped out for them

Eventually he gets married to one of his colleagues from the university, a woman he’s known for a few years while working there, and they have Kelly a year or so later

Rufus jams with her as a baby, playing bits of his old songs and classic WS ones, and she loves it

Rufus and his wife have another kid together when Kelly is four, but unfortunately get divorced shortly after. His wife just never quite got him, didn’t understand his passion for the Great Ones or music in the same way he did, and it lead to too much strain in their marriage

They have shared custody of their kids and stay on good terms, just slightly distant

In general he’s a very good father, he loves explaining history to his kids and teaching them about music theory, and he’s weak for them. Doesn’t matter if he’s in the middle of writing up a new lesson plan or trying to work out the best times to pull people from history for classes, if his kids want to listen to Those Who Rock again who is he to deny them?

He’s very meticulous about his beard and sings in the shower

Dad clothes to the max but in a futuristic way (Think BJ style chunky foam crocs 👁👁)

Doesn’t intend for the Great Ones to become his kids, but what’s he gonna do about it?

He gives Bill hormone patches after the events of EA, the special cool future kind that are easy to hide and work fast (ppl in present day who don’t know he’s trans just think he finally hits puberty)

He also brings Bill to the future for top surgery when he’s ready, because it’s free there and a lot safer

He’s very happy when BnT and Kelly and her sib become friends, BnT make great older bros

They visit when they can to say hi, quick drop ins to check in and make sure everything is rolling smoothly

He cries at the battle of the bands, and goes home to watch the archived tape over and over. He’s so proud of BnT

He babysits Billie and Thea if needed, and is unsurprisingly an awesome grandpa as well

He’s more tired than he lets on sometimes. He comes home late a lot from the university and dozes off on the couch before he gets to bed. He never lets it make him snappy though, he’s always big smiles and gentle words

Caffeine gives him a headache, so he sticks to decaf teas, his favorite being ginger with sugar and lime juice

He has a very mellow laugh, but it still comes from his chest, warm and deep

He’s left handed

He never swears around his kids or grandkids and always uses filler swears, like gosh darnit, holy cats, what the fudge, and so on

Technically canon according to the cartoon but he doesn’t know how to drive

He has a sunglasses collection

He cries when BnT ask him to officiate their wedding and cries even harder at the actual ceremony

He’s a sappy drunk, blubbering about how much he loves his kids and how proud he is and everything (he’s not allowed to drink champagne after the wedding)

He’s a very protective dad, and has sent several strongly worded letters to Kelly’s exes over the years

He’s a great cook, and likes to hum while he makes meals for people

He prefers savory over sweet, and his favorite food is homemade macaroni, the kind baked in the oven with extra cheese and breadcrumbs layered on top

He dies in his sleep of old age, satisfied with his life

Headcanons masterpost

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

[ghostplantss]

Brickclub 1.1.1 - 2 + Introduction

Hello! I’m Alice she/her/hers, trying to catch up to brick club, not the sharpest pencil in the drawer, knows near nothing, so this’ll be something of a miscellaneous collection of rambles just for myself and hopefully it’ll work out!

1.1.1

M. Myriel! I adore you and I’ve missed you terribly

Footnotes and app “common knowledge” say that the inspiration for M. Myriel is de Miollis, bishop of Digne from 1806 to 1838, emigrated to Rome during the revolution, anti-napoleon, bought back church land confiscated by the frev.

Mgr Myriel dans les miserables

According to this article, which I cannot understand since it is in French, jvj was based on pierre Morin, released after 5 years in prison for stealing bread for his sister’s starving family, couldn’t find a job or shelter, was taken in by the aforementioned bishop and died in the battle of Waterloo - does this have anything to do w the pontmercy? 

de miollis was born 19 june, 1753 instead of? 1815 - 75 = 1740? I couldn’t find anything remotely interesting that happened in 1740 except marquis de sade’s birth and hopefully that was an unfortunate coincidence. 

he had 15 siblings, 7 of whom died young, 4 brothers, 4 sisters. of whom one brother took on the family business of conseiller, two (i think) were generals under napoleon - family dinners must’ve been difficult - and the last was a prefect. Hugo says Myriel had 2 brothers, a prefect and a general, which is close enough. de Moillis does not have a sister baptistine, but he does have a sister named anne magdeleine de moillis, married to a marquis, with a servant named genevieve. the article says perhaps hugo thought the name genevieve too noble for a servant, which i find silly bc magloire’s a perfectly lovely name. so i went in looking for his relationship with baptistine and felt terribly cheated to realize hugo had fabricated the sister almost entirely which i suppose is fair.

I think the article says that de Moillis was given the position bc his brother was a general under napoleon. and that the hospital thing fabricated as well but! i’m sloth and articles are so entirely dull. 

A 17th century precursor to Mgr Myriel

This article posits that the creation M. Myriel was influenced by Lancelot’s 17th century novel relation d'un voyage d'aleth which sounds terribly interesting and i must look into it aaaand i’m terribly off topic

SO ANYHOW: 

Myriel emigrated to Italy just as the revolution began and when Napoleon left Italy for France, one by fortune and the other by choice. And he said he was a good man while Napoleon was a great man - I promised myself I’d get throw the next book to call Napoleon a great man at the wall, but alas, I’m reading this digitally - so they’re somewhat opposites! 

Myriel was in an arranged marriage and indulged in affairs, which his later parishioners v consciously forgot, which? I suppose? Shows his love for them is more unconditional than theirs for him? And could? Well? Parallel how ppl were so reluctant to look into the past of Madeleine and how easily they forsook poor jvj as soon as the v ancient news reemerged

Young myriel sounds like such a riot! A bit like? Courfeyrac aka the nicer tholomyès aw imagine if he were cosette’s father instead? I’m sure he wouldn’t abandon her Oh no I’m off topic but I suppose Hugo here’s either saying? Affairs aren’t virtuous and so ppl are capable of change - which would be hypocritical of him - or affairs are ok as long as you take responsibility and such which? i suppose I can get behind. Of course, with the ease of getting divorces nowadays, hopefully people wouldn’t stay in loveless arranged marriages. I remember, when I first read the book, being rather discomfited by the way Myriel seems to ignore how his actions affect women who depend on him? Such as the voluntary scarcity he not only devoted himself to but also foisted upon his sister and sweet Magloire. And? now the way he cheated on his wife, who probably wished no part in this relationship either, but has less freedom than he does in this marriage but ah now I’m terribly off topic and bumming myself out.

I wish there were more said on the 30 years they were married, on their exile to italy, i want to know it all! “Nobody knows” says the omniscient narrator oh come on Hugo spill the beans on myriel! I am the brainless gossiping mob tell me everything

I love magloire and baptistine’s descriptions I love them both! Hugo says a lady needs to be a mother to be venerable but i think that’s just you Hugo you have this odd thing for feral saintly mothers and who can blame you. Mlle. baps is an aspiration! mme. Magloire too! She’s so hard working despite being ill, and it just isn’t right she should be the only one to be so busy when she has asthma

I know I shouldn’t ship them but reason escapes me

1740: born

1758- 1760: 18-20 arranged marriage

1790ish: 50ish emigrated to Italy - wife died of? consumption?

1806: 66 become bishop

1815: 75 current

Cool quotes:

“La révolution survint, les événements se précipitèrent, les familles parlementaires décimées, chassées, traquées, se dispersèrent.” - it flows so nicely!

“M. Myriel devait subir le sort de tout nouveau venu dans une petite ville où il y a beaucoup de bouches qui parlent et fort peu de têtes qui pensent.” - such a burn and this is me! little brain and much tongue

on Mme. Baps: “et cette diaphanéité laissait voir l'ange… Sa personne semblait faite d'ombre … un peu de matière contenant une lueur ; de grands yeux toujours baissés ; un prétexte pour qu'une âme reste sur la terre.” aaa i adore this so much! to imagine her angelic, respectable, and made of shadows! 

1.1.2

Onto chapter 2! So um I know this is terribly off topic, but nap the bonbon said that an archbishop would have a stipend of 15000 francs while a bishop would be given 10000 francs, and this book published after les mis still cited the same numbers as well so it’s odd that Myriel has an annual stipend of 15000 francs? AHHh also! bonbon said that rectors - one class of them at least - would be paid 1500 francs annually, and i’m not entirely sure, but isn’t a curé a rector? as hugo said, myriel never really took more money than he needed. BUT he allocated 1000 francs instead of 1500 for his personal stipend and so I’m! very! confused! i feel like i’m v earnestly explaining how a triangle has four sides. i swear i’ll move on.  

(adding on oh god i just realized?? baps gets 500 a year? i really hope myriel isn’t counting her pension as part of his own personal expenses... though itt does say that “Avec ces quinze cents francs, ces deux vieilles femmes et ce vieillard vivaient.” but that would be rather despicable)

I love the part where he converts the palace to a hospital! hugo started off by describing the extravagance and grandeur of it all, and then juxtaposing it to? the hospital and myriel’s decision to swap houses and there’s something terribly satisfying about the layout. just. how it ends with “Il y a erreur, je vous dis. Vous avez mon logis, et j'ai le vôtre. Rendez-moi ma maison. C'est ici chez vous.” it all wraps so nicely!

The book reiterates how Myriel’s family was ruined by the frev - to what extent, for both of his brothers are employed by the napoleonic government. To that end, it almost appears as a sort of denouncement of violent social change. However, that isn’t quite what myriel believes, it seems, at least according to his budget? since he allocates more to the People as opposed to family, so i’m very confused. Perhaps Hugo is saying that the sacrifices of a few good men who benefit from an unjust system is necessary. 

Myriel took the transportation fee! it was hilarious. of course, i do have mixed feelings because M. Préameneau was right, it’s ridiculous for someone in such a small parish to apply for a carriage fee, which was at least partially why Myriel ultimately chose the donkey. and i’m supposing this most likely sets a terrible precedent for the next bishop of digne who might not have similar philanthropist sentiments. so Hugo’s saying we’re allowed to take advantage of a broken system as long as our own ends are good? how machiavellian! and the buildup was hilarious even if we all knew myriel would never pocket the money himself. poor Mme. Magloire though, it sounded like the household really could have used the money. I think the way she said? that he began by being kind with other people, and now he will end with us? it’s almost rather tragic. that he should’ve neglected the feelings of the people closest to him. 

Hugo seems to have? Baps represent the spirit and Magloire the body, or at least more worldly worries, which seems rather classist of him . I suppose it might be a necessary evil of liking symbols so much - you inevitably fall into stereotypes - and i do love them both, but it makes me uncomfortable. 

Posts from other ppl I want to keep: 

pilf: 

- “il y a toujours encore plus de misère en bas que de fraternité en haut, tout était donné, pour ainsi dire, avant d'être reçu” + charity

- that baps “venerates” her brother, and that he lists all their monetary needs as his own personal expenses, despite the fact that they are the ones managing the household and the money and that they are living off the money same as him, and?? baps only gets 500 yearly, half of what her brother considers a meagre sum

- and aaaa i love how pilf said that it isn’t an admirable move to force those around you to live according to your own morals. just. yes. baps and magloire don’t esp have a choice. and?? magloire and baps really did carry the brunt of the burden. Myriel was able to stay afloat “grâce à la sévère économie de madame Magloire et à l'intelligente administration de mademoiselle Baptistine.” 

akallabeth: 

- how the specificness of the itemized list shows intent and research into the most underserved individuals + causes in his parish: 1. soup for hospital 2. debtors w families

- “And he calls the almsgiving his household expenses. The young man asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” The bishop responds, “The poor are my family.”” (i couldn’t find this quote! but it is amazing!)

- pfff his swanky, company-provided house. i love it

- 15000 francs approx 3 mil usd or 58 workers’ annual wages, which means?? bap’s pension is worth? two adult male workers’ wages? wow

- Myriel uses vous for Magloire

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !