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celestialmantdonna · 8 days

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Angsty Character Questions:

1. Is your muse afraid of death? 4. How easy is it to anger your muse? 9. What is one thing that would break your muse? 14. What was the most traumatic moment in your muse’s life? 16. If your muse could talk to one person they’ve lost, who would it be?

1. Is your muse afraid of death?

Thank you for sending this one in, because it's something I have wondered ever since I first tried to get inside her head (or the other way around, heh) when I watched GotG Vol. 2 for the first time back in 2017. Everything under the cut!

Mantis has always had a complicated relationship with death. In an ideal situation, death should be a very foreign concept to a kid, but to Mantis it was a consequence. Ego himself says in canon that "one after the other they failed me" (referring to his offspring). As a child, yes, Mantis was really scared of death, because... well, it wasn't like she could turn to her father to protect her. But Ego's children were immortal as long as he lived unless they were killed by a more powerful force (like Ego himself), so Mantis knew she wouldn't die unless her father said so.

When she betrayed Ego, Mantis deliberately gave up her immortality, which makes me think she isn't afraid of death. Not anymore. And anyone who threatens her with death will simply get a shrug in response, like "oh, I don't know, my dad has threatened to kill me for the last 750-ish years, but I'm sure that threat will work with someone else!" She has been far too afraid for far too long, so no, Mantis is not afraid of death. She doesn't want to die, she's not looking for death, but she is not afraid. Even less so after she died in the Snap and came back five years later.

Now, this does not apply when it comes to innocent people dying or those she loves dying. The thought of losing the Guardians scares her. A particularly painful headcanon I have is that the Guardians learned about Gamora's death, but Mantis saw it in Thanos' memories while she was holding him down in Infinity War, and she saw it from his perspective, so esentially Mantis felt as if she were the one throwing Gamora off a cliff. And that is something she will never, ever forget. Mantis barely had time to get to know her half-siblings before Ego took them away, but she has been with the Guardians long enough to love them. At the start of GotG Vol. 3, Rocket gets hurt and Mantis is crying, sobbing, shouting "no!" as she tries to keep him alive... It had nothing to do with the fact that her arm was broken, nothing to do with the pain she was getting from Rocket, and everything to do with the fear of potentially losing him.

4. How easy is it to anger your muse?

This one is also very interesting because Mantis was never allowed to be angry around Ego. As a child, she would think "wow, anger must feel really amazing if Ego wants it all for himself!" and then as she grew up she started to experience anger and she was like "...no? This is the worst? This is what Ego was gatekeeping?" She hates being angry, therefore she tries to avoid it.

Mantis is not easily angered at all, though it also depends on who she's talking with. If she thinks of you as a friend, an ally or family, you might upset her more easily because your words matter to her. In the Holiday special we see her getting angry at Drax a few times, because he knows her in a way no one else does. However, she also gets angry at Kevin Bacon, because she knows he is Quill's "hero". She might be angered when she's surrounded by too many angry people, or when someone she considers a friend is cruel to others.

Something I love about Mantis is that in GotG Vol. 3, she finally snaps and it's in defense of someone else. She gets angry at Nebula because she keeps insulting and pushing Drax, and Mantis steps in and fiercely defends him (even though she calls him stupid and Drax is like "...I don't think I appreciate this defense.") So yeah, generally speaking, Mantis is not an angry person. Instead, she bottles up anger for the battlefield. She turns it into something productive and helpful because she thinks anger is a very exhausting emotion.

9. What is one thing that would break your muse?

Basic validation. Like I'm not even kidding. If you praise her in any way or tell her how amazing she is, she will likely start crying at some point, because she won't believe you. Mantis is stronger than she gives herself credit for, it takes a lot to break her, but unfortunately she received so much psychological abuse back on Ego's planet that she has a hard time accepting positive attention, at least until she leaves the team at the end of GotG Vol. 3 to work on herself.

Other things that would leave her practically broken? Hmmm... Taking her freedom away. Take her freedom away and Mantis will have the worst flashbacks of her life on Ego's planet. Her freedom is extremely important to her. And also... Quill getting killed. If she loses her only sibling left alive, Mantis will physically feel her heart shatter. There's this scene in GotG Vol. 3 where Quill is freezing in space, and Mantis just screams his name. Pom's acting was excellent and I will never get over it. There was so much pain in that scream. So yeah, losing Quill would be extremely painful and Mantis would struggle all day, every day.

14. What was the most traumatic moment in your muse's life?

Oh, this one is easy to answer, because I'm answering with my headcanons. The most traumatic moment in Mantis' life was the moment she stumbled upon Ego's caverns for the first time. Before, she had been a happy child, living on Ego's beautiful planet, not a care in the world... except for the fact that Ego's children would mysteriously go missing, but that moment changed everything. She was the equivalent of a 7-year-old, and she was exploring, and then she found... that. She ran to Ego's palace and tried to tell him they weren't safe anymore and they had to leave. But Ego told her he knew about the bodies, because he put them there himself. And Mantis just... passed out. She fainted, because her mind couldn't process that.

In that moment, she knew she would never be safe. No one would help her. No one would save her. No one would protect her. The next few days, she would bring flowers to the caverns, she would sit there in the darkness and weep for hours because, even though she didn't know her siblings all that well, it wasn't fair. She cried for them more times than she can count.

16. If your muse could talk to one person they've lost, who would it be?

I think... Gamora, probably. A part of Mantis would want to meet her own mother too, but she doesn't remember her, she was very young when Ego took her to his planet. Mantis does not know whether her mother abandoned her or not, but in any case, she doesn't resent her mother. Mantis hopes she is okay, wherever she is, in this life or another. She would like to listen to her mother and hear her out, but I still think she would choose Gamora. Mantis would tell Gamora the Guardians love her, and they all miss her every day. She would tell her that Mantis would've loved to see Gamora and Quill getting married and being happy together, that Mantis is Quill's biological half-sister and she would've loved to be Gamora's sister-in-law. That her absence is painful, and that she was more important than some glowing orange rock. Grateful for the chance to speak with her, Mantis would tell Gamora the Guardians will always love her.

#[ out of emotions ] ooc.#[ i kept running for a soft place to fall ] headcanons.#tw death mention #tw abuse mention

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theabominableblogger · 3 years

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My Reaction to “Avengers Endgame”

Yes- I still haven’t seen this movie. Yes I know exactly what happens in this movie. I mainly avoided it for a while due to overhype but with some convincing from my brother, Imma sit my butt down and try to watch this.

Pressing... play!

Right off the bat, I feel like I should warn you guys and say that I have... my opinions... about stuff. Plus I’m a dumbass about Marvel so just bear with me.

I like that Disney Plus has to warn us about product placement

Clint!

Are we gonna see little Nathaniel running around- THERE he is!

We are gonna see Clint’s entire family get freaking obliterated

Is all the rumbling from the sky or are those airplanes freaking crashing to Earth in the distance?

What if they pulled a reverse WandaVision and showed the people getting snapped out of existence in a future film or show? That would be freaking terrifying.

They’re [Tony and Nebula] playing paper football...

I wanna see more of THEIR interactions aboard the Milano. The shots of them just repairing the ship are great too.

“I’m fine. Totally fine.” Everyone ever.

I also like you see the visual difference between Tony and Nebula. While he’s growing gaunt and haggard from loss of oxygen, you can still see that Nebula looks absolutely fine because she’s like 75% android

So between 1995 and now, what the heck has Carol been up to?

“Thanos wiped out... 50% of all living creatures.” So like entire ecosystems are just demolished.

*anthropology major part of my brain scrambling for answers*

“We lost. And you [Steve] weren’t there.” HE WAS IN WAKANDA!

Wait so the arc reactor ISN’T in Tony’s chest anymore?

“Where the hell have you [Carol] been all this time?” Good question!

*silently bops to opening theme*

For some reason, I just really want the ship radio to randomly turn on so you just see everyone sitting awkwardly as “Piano Man” plays over the speakers

*Thanos slowly cooks his food* Faster, all together now! COOKING CAN BE FUN!

“I [Thanos] used the stones to destroy the stones.” ...what?

“I am...[Thanos] inevitable.” *starts humming “Inevitable” from TGWDLM*

“I [Thor] went for the head.” YES YOU DID

[FIVE YEARS LATER] All righty so we’re doing this

*gasps* Is... Steve running the therapy sit downs like Sam did in “The Winter Soldier”? That’s awesome. I really like this tidbit.

I’m also really liking Alan Silvestri’s score for this so far

I’m really trying not to nitpick but I feel like it would take more than 5 years for greenery to just completely overtake a suburban neighborhood

Also wow pre COVID life looks great you guys

“There’s a part of me that doesn’t even wanna find him.” Are they talking about... Clint? Is Clint just going the full vigilante route?

DOES HE KILL PEOPLE?!?

I really like Steve and Natasha’s friendship in these movies but for some reason I don’t feel like we get enough of Natasha for me to get behind her on an emotional standpoint

Are they gonna use the quantum realm to jumpstart the multiverse for Phase 4?

Also speaking of multiverse, I honestly really don’t want Spiderman: No Way Home or Wandavision to get too cluttered by that

I like Tony’s lake house. And he got a whole vegetable garden going too. Kudos!

The little kid who plays Morgan Stark is adorable

“Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel.” Which we obviously won’t.

“We’re gonna need a really big brain.” So where the [expletive] is Banner?

“Stranger danger.” *snorts*

“Dab!” *rolls eyes*

So is the whole Professor Hulk thing permanent? I know he’s gonna be in the She-Hulk show but I’m wondering how they’re gonna tackle that. And they’re gonna have Tim Roth too!

*smiles when Tony takes Morgan to bed*

Steve Rogers here [when they do the first time travel tests] is a Look ™

Maybe don’t let the GIANT GREEN MAN keep pressing a bunch of tiny tiny important buttons on a dashboard

*laughs at Steve shaking his head in disbelief when they finally bring Scott back*

*Tony’s car races toward the Avengers base* NYOOOMMMM

*Tony rolls down his window* It’s Britney, bitch

“And maybe not die trying.” And you definitely will.

This whole bit where Scott keeps losing his dorito only to get another one from Bruce feels like a Doritos commercial.

*jams out to "Supersonic Rocket Ship by The Kinks*

Did they just keep reducing the green pigment for Hulk or what?

*sighs when they reveal Fat!Thor*

MIEK’S ALIVE!

Please tell me Noobmaster69 is Kid Loki, whom we meet in the Loki series

“Don’t... say that name.” “Yeah we actually don’t say that name here.” I like this. I like that Thor has so much resentment for killing Thanos at the wrong time and that he felt that could have done better cause he’s A GOD. So the fact that THANOS was on equal level and BEAT HIM-

Hawkeye’s killing people

This sword fight’s great [between the Yakuza person and Clint]

WHY DIDN’T THEY BUILD ON THIS [Clint and Natasha’s connection] ???

*laughs when Rhodey suggests killing baby Thanos*

These shots of Clint going through the Quantum Realm looks like something straight out of Andy Park’s concept art and that’s awesome

“Well I [Scott] haven’t [encountered an Infinity Stone] but I don’t even know what the hell you’re all talking about.” *snorts*

“The Aether, firstly, is not a stone.” Thank you!

The little glance Nebula gives after Thor mentions the Dark Elves just make me think that somewhere down the road, she has either A) encountered them or B) has encountered other Asgardians besides Thor

“Guys if you pick the right year, there are three stones in New York.” “Shut the front door.” *laughs*

Also underrated trio: Steve, Natasha, and Bruce. Gimme more.

Wait a minute, in 2012, Doctor Strange wasn’t active yet. So are they gonna go see- OOOOOOOHHHHHH

[NEW YORK 2012] Oh here we go

*cracks up when Bruce very half-assedly smashes stuff on the street*

“I’m looking for Doctor Strange.” “You’re about five years too early.” Wait a minute.

HOW DOES SHE [the Ancient One] KNOW?!?

*giggles at Thor and Rocket sneaking in the background with a bored Loki in focus*

“That’s my [Thor’s] mother. She dies today.” I love this scene already.

Also WHY IS THOR- or the Thor films in general- have like the most well written characters in the whole canon?

It’s those movies, Guardians 2, The Winter Soldier, Civil War, aaand.... I can’t think of any more of them.

Oh yeah and WANDAVISION cause THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK-

Rocket just said he thinks of the Guardians as his family I’m gonna die...

What about their [Natasha and Rhodey’s] friendship?!? I want more of that!

“Ronan’s obsession... clouds his judgment.” ...HUH

*Thanos uses his sword to lift up Nebula’s chin* Aw heck no

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s ass.” *has to take a second before nodding in agreement*

Wait is that Jasper Stillwell?

“Flick me.” That bit alone could be taken out of context

“We’re in route to Doctor List.” Who’s Doctor List? Is that a code name?

“Hail Hydra.” THE BASTARDS WENT AND DID IT

Please tell me this hand off scene is gonna be the opening for the Loki show. Please tell me this is gonna happen.

*Loki takes the Tesseract again* AND HE’S GOOONNNEE!!

LET’S GET TO FREAKING JUNE ALREADY!

*ends up quoting “Yeah, I know, I know” along with Steve*

I’m really glad Tilda Swinton actually came back for this cameo

*keeps slapping my laptop screen when people keep saying Doctor Strange made a mistake when it was an explicit point in Infinity War where he encountered 14 million other AUs to find the best result*

Are you telling me that this whole plan could derail because Nebula accidentally hacked into her own WiFI network? Are you seriously doing this?

*Thanos and Ebony Maw scan Nebula’s duplicate memory bank and track her down* Are you freaking kidding me?

...I have 96 minutes left?!?

“The future hasn’t been kind to you [Thor], has it?” Frigga is underrated

So for these shots with Jane, are they just reusing different shots from Thor 2 or just footage from deleted scenes?

Can we talk about how Frigga is absolutely the best parent Thor has? Meanwhile her husband ODIN is like “oh yeah by the way you have a secret sister totes magotes i’ll die now byeeee”

*sings along with “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone*

*laughs when we cut to Quill just very badly singing along to his iPod in the distance*

I want a bonus short with just Rhodey and Nebula doing their thing

*Nebula gets her memory taken over by 2014 Thanos* Nooooooo...

Are the glasses that Tony wears here part of EDITH from “Far From Home” or are they like a prototype?

Also I haven’t seen “Far From Home” yet because Sony hates me

Doctor Zola?!?

*jams out to the music playing when we see Hank Pym’s lab*

“A little girl would be nice. Less of a chance that she’ll end up exactly like me [Howard Stark].” *gasps softly*

Oh my God, he’s [Steve] in Peggy’s office

Alan Silvestri is really killing it with this score

JARVIS!!

Wait and that’s the guy from “Agent Carter”!

Ohhh that shot’s [of Thanos’s ship coming out of the clouds] awesome...

*2014 Nebula hands Thanos the Pym particles* Oh are you kidding me...

The CGI for Red Skull is also awesome

*gasps when Natasha reveals that she never knew her dad’s name when Red Skull told it to her*

*is super bummed out when Natasha sacrifices herself*

Kevin Feige really went and said “so Phases 3 and 4 are gonna make everybody cry” and the writers went “YES”

Wait doesn’t Cap go and return the stones at the end of the movie? How’s he gonna handle meeting Red Skull on Vormir then?

“It’s like... I [Bruce] was made for this.” Please someone get Mark Ruffalo his own Hulk movie before he combusts from giving out more spoilers

So Thanos used the Pym particles to time travel then. Honestly that’s kinda genius

I just noticed that Scott shrank himself right as the explosion hit the windows

I really want someone to just drop one F-bomb somewhere in the MCU and I really hope it’s Clint because he would 100% say it

*starts singing “Hollaback Girl” when Thanos arrives*

Here’s my question; how did Thanos acquire Nebula then? With Gamora, it was with the genocide of her people.

“We [Gamora to Nebula] can stop him.” LET’S GO!

[Thor uses his storm powers to summon both Stormbreaker and Mjolnir] *softly* Ohhhhh that’s badass...

Now I’m just imagining the cast just in the green screen room just hitting Josh Brolin with a bunch of foam weapons and making all the sound effects while poor Josh is just struggling under the weight of the Thanos reference head on his mocap suit

Who does the voice for FRIDAY?

AN: Irish actress named Kerry Condon

*Steve deems himself worth to wield Mjolnir* OKKAAYY OKAAYY

Love how Thanos is like “yes, I’m gonna stab you with an AXE”

“In all my years of conquest...” Steve you suuuucckkk...

Are we getting the Chitauri again?

“On your left.” *laughs incredulously* O-ohhh my God...

*Everyone starts coming out of the portals* Oh my God I’m getting chills

I would have lost my mind in the theater

I HAVE ACTUAL GOOSEBUMPS RUNNING ALL OVER ME. This is how good this is

WAIT ARE THOSE THE RAVAGER SHIPS ABOVE THEM?!?

“Avengers... assemble.” Oh my God this is amazing!

M’BAKU!

Also “Endgame” really just said “We are KILLING FOOLS TODAY”

How are they gonna tackle Peter and Gamora’s relationship in Guardians 3?

[Horn plays La Cucaracha] LET’S GO

God I’m gonna turn feral

*has to pause to scream in excitement when Wanda touches down in front of Thanos to fight him*

*puts hands on head* OHH MY GOOOOODDDDD

They’re literally just playing Keep Away with a teenage boy. Marvel, everybody.

*Captain Marvel destroys Thanos’s ship* WELL IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

OK I got mixed feelings about that [the girl power team up scene]

*Thanos unsuccessfully headbutts Carol* Oh shit!

*Doctor Strange holds up one finger* Oh my God this is it

Someone definitely tore off when Thanos pushed Tony off

It was in that moment he [Thanos] knew- he effed up

*All of Thanos’s army dissipates* Byeee...

Is it bad that I’m not crying at Tony’s death?

*gasps when Peter reunites with Ned at school*

Wait the whole time heist takes place within ONE DAY?

“I love you 3000.” I really hope we see Morgan again somewhere in one of the movies or shows. Actually a cool way to reincorporate her would be in the Ironheart series whenever they make it

Even Drax is wearing black!

It’s the “We should be getting therapy but we got a TV show instead” trio [Wanda, Bucky, and Sam]

Wait is that guy- was that guy- the little kid from Iron Man 3?

AN: Yes

So right after this funeral, Wanda’s gonna storm SWORD right?

AN: This was finished up on 2/26 so probably YES

*Thor crowns Valkyrie the new leader of New Asgard* I now cannot wait for “Thor Love and Thunder”

Wait Peter’s looking for Gamora!

Still cannot believe that the time travel suits are completely CGI

I know they had a body double for Chris Evans here but I do think it would have been cool if they used the body double’s voice for Old Steve instead of Chris trying to sound old

He [Steve] put the shield in an art portfolio bag...

*says “No, no I don’t think I will” along with Steve*

*silently jams out to “It’s Been a Long, Long Time” playing during the credits*

Wait and that was the song Fury was playing in “Winter Soldier”

Oh they even got the actual signatures! That’s awesome!

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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years

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⛔️ This Chapter is pretty violent. *Torture/Canon Typical Violence/ Big Battle

Small Time Witch (30)

Battle preparations were in full swing. Most of the realms armies were to be positioned on the battlefield as frontline forces. Skrýmir the giant from Utgard would lead his armies along with Aesir forces. You warned them of the dog like creatures that came in hoards. At times they were absolutely overwhelming. For that, Thor and Ororo would flank the battlefield to take out as many as possible. You were able to reach Carol Danvers who will be accompanied by the Skrull. On the back end, the Vanir and your coven would maintain a protection spell that would debilitate some of the more simple minded soldiers in Thanos’ army and to shield from air strikes. The Avengers would be on the field as promised to help with the Black Order. The plan was falling in to place. You had the numbers. The problem was radio silence from Thanos.

You exhausted all avenues in the universe to find out his plan. Even Mobius hadn’t heard so much as a rumble from him. No one had disappeared mysteriously from Vanaheim. Nothing really changed except for one thing. Loki’s memories of his time with you were restored. He was a hybrid version of your Loki. Mobius told you he wasn’t the leak. You wanted to believe him but now you were deeply doubtful. You decided to confront him but you had to be as gentle as possible.

You took dinner in your chambers that night. You were noticeably quiet. “Pet, something on your mind?”

“If I say no will you believe me?” He shot you a look that told you he did not in fact believe you. “I have to ask you something. You’re going to be angry with me. We’ll fight about it.”

“Now I’m nervous.”

You sighed heavily, “You should be. Loki, before I healed you, were you still informing to Thanos?”

He looked away from you ashamed, “Yes. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He cowered at your touch. Did he think you would hurt him? He was afraid of you.

“Loki, look at me. I’m not mad. Loki, look at me.” You could see he was shaking. You stood up from the table and knelt in front of him, “Can he still hear you?” He nodded yes. “Can he hear me?” He nodded no. “Good. I’m going to free you, my love. But first I need you to do something for me. Go get him. Bring him to me.” You kissed his hands and didn’t say anything else. You finished your meal in silence. He could feel how angry you were.

You didn’t believe that Thanos couldn’t hear you or see you when you were in Loki’s presence so you opted not to speak about your plans any longer. Before you went to sleep you rested on his chest and held him tight. He was asleep. You stroked the fine dusting of hair on his belly and said aloud, “I’m going to rip you apart for this.”

——————————————————————

The next morning you were minding your p’s and q’s around Loki. When you had a strategy meeting with the Avengers and X-men you didn’t tell him. When you met with the coven you didn’t say a word. You made Thor promise to watch his mouth and not argue because obviously the man was in pain. You were the general of this army today. Anything that needed to be said to Loki needed to cross your ears first.

Your Avengers meeting was interesting. You knew so much about them and it made you giggle to yourself. Steve was not as soft as when you met him. He mostly looked lost. You wanted to just hug him tight but you knew that would be wildly inappropriate. You decided, to hasten your actual mission, to split up the team. You had a feeling Thanos would split the Black Order to do as much damage as possible. Steve and Nat would join the Warriors, Lady Sif and Heimdall on the Bifrost. Odin would command the rest of his troops from Asgard.

That evening everyone gathered for a feast. One of many feasts before battle. You found your way over to the Avengers table to hang with Thor.

“Princess, have a seat.” Steve pulled out a chair for you and you laughed out loud. You couldn’t tell him why.

“Why thank you, kind sir. I’m sure you’re accommodations are much nicer than an army encampment.”

He laughed, “Oh by far. So you’re from Earth? How did you get involved with and marry a Prince from Asgard?”

“Oh, honey. It is a long story. Another time maybe.”

“Of course. You wear the title well, Princess.”

“Thank you, Captain.” You winked at him and freshened his drink. “Enjoy your evening.”

You made your rounds saying good night. Promising to make good on invitations to visit realms. You finally made it over to the table with Odin, Frigga, your mother and aunts. “I’m going to get Loki prepared.” Frigga looked worried.

“Oh please don’t make that face, Allmother. I feel guilty enough as it is.”

“I just want him to come home safely.” she wiped tears from her cheeks.

“It’s what we all want.” You kissed them all goodnight and asked your mother to sit with Frigga for a while. Odin asked to walk you to your chambers.

“I’m sure I’m quite capable of walking myself, sire.”

“Give an old man the pleasure of seeing his daughter off to bed. Y/N, I’m curious. Has anyone asked why Thanos is trying to destroy the universe?”

You snorted (such a princess), “Does it matter?”

“It’s always good to know what drives an opponent. For instance, love can make people do irrational things. Your meticulous plans are laid before you and something can make any seasoned general snap and the whole thing goes up in flames.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Thanos is known as the Mad Titan not the Kind Titan. I’ll be shocked if Loki comes back alive. Whatever you see, what ever he does to Loki, you mustn’t waiver. You must stay composed and trust your plan. Do you understand? There will be time enough to mourn our losses.”

“I hope I have half the nerve that you do in the face of such evil.”

“I have to tell myself the same speech. He’s my son. I would move mountains to protect him. We have to hold steady. Sleep well.” He kissed you on the cheek and went to rejoin the party.

When you entered your chambers Loki was sitting in front of the fire. “Did you have a nice time?”

“I did. I missed you.”

“And I you. I’m ready to go.”

“Lok, why is he doing this? Why does he want to destroy so many lives?”

He smiled to himself, “For love. His mother and father were Eternals. They were terribly beautiful. When Thanos was born, he was not beautiful like his parents so his mother tried to kill him. She failed but ultimately treated him as though he were a ghost. He tortured her until she perished. He just wanted to be loved and accepted. Sound familiar? And then he fell in love with actual Death. Not Hela. This being is death and one of the creators of the stones. She has rebuked him. Denied his advances. So, this is his love letter to her.”

The parallels were obvious. The two of them understand each other on a very deep level. “But you see, darling, Thanos is jealous of me because I have my goddess. He will see our union destroyed.”

“Not a chance.” You pressed your forehead to his and slipped your bracelet on his wrist. With the tiny golden screwdriver you closed it tight. “For luck.”

He kissed you deeply and deeper than any kiss you’ve ever shared. “I love you.” Before you had a chance to say it back he slipped through the portal you opened.

——————————————————————

Thanos sat on his throne watching his daughters argue when Loki returned.

“Ah Loki. I thought you scurried away to the far reaches of the galaxy like the rat you are. What have you brought me?”

“She is alone on Vanaheim. Waiting for you.”

He laughed and looked at Nebula, “Tell me , daughter, do I look stupid?”

“No, father.”

“Do we believe the god of lies?”

“No, father.”

“Should we kill him?”

“No, father. We should torture him and drop him at his wife’s feet.”

Thanos laughed again as he rose from his throne. He grabbed Loki by the neck and brought him close, “You are lucky my daughter is merciful. Gamora!”

“Yes, father!” Gamora rushed to his side.

“Take the god to the dungeons. You and Nebula play nice.”

She cuffed him and stabbed in the side then dragged him behind her. “Please listen to me. He’s going to wipe out half the universe.” Loki croaked and groaned.

“Shut up! You lie!”

“No, I don’t. I can prove it.”

She dropped him on the ground at her feet, “Can you?”

“Sister, don’t listen to him. He is the god of lies.” Nebula grabbed his bonds to continue to the dungeon.

Gamora knelt down in front of him, “Prove it.”

Loki touched her forehead and shared with her the vision of the reality you escaped. He destroyed everything just like her own planet. She could not let that happen again. She also couldn’t betray her father. “It doesn’t matter. No one will ever beat him.” She grabbed him by the hair and took him to the dungeon where Corvus Glaive was waiting.

Gamora hung him to the wall using his bonds. Corvus pulled out his knife and dragged it up Loki’s chest. He used the blade to cut the straps of his armor. He stuck him between his ribs. Loki’s lung collapsed. He was unable to take deep breaths with his hands above his head. He would pass out soon.

#loki of jotunheim #loki tv #loki of asgard #loki x you #loki smut #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki x reader angst #marvel witches #marvel #mcu witches #small time witch #witch

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spacesuitsforemergency · 4 years

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The Rise of Iron Maiden

Chapter 2: So, You Want to be an Avenger?

Word Count: 2.8k

Original Request by: @amateurwriterbigdreamer

Previous Chapter: A Wizard, A Guardian and an Avenger Walk Into A Bar

Next Chapter: We’re in the Endgame Now

A/N: I put as much Eduardo and Y/N moments in as I could, hope you like it! Please comment what you like so far! Also the snap is in the next chapter.....

“There’s Dr. Strange.” You whisper to Peter and Eduardo, masks now off. The doctor is floating horizontally, surrounded by 2 foot long glassy needles. The alien is interrogating him, trying to get ahold of the Stone. He starts preaching about Thanos, and his plan to wipe out half the universe. You all exchange glances, shocked by the weight of the mission.

“Mr. Stark is gonna kill us.” Peter whispers to you.

“Dad will kill me cause I dragged you along. I’ll take the blow.” You shrug.

All 3 of you gasp when something touches you from behind, making you tumble out of your hiding spot. Your dads head snaps around so fast you hear his neck crack, and the amount of sheer rage on his face makes you want to hide.

“It was just the docs stupid cloak!” Peter grumbles as Tony storms over to you guys.

“What are you doing here?!” He hisses, staring at you for an explanation.

“Don’t get mad at them, I literally forced them to come with me.” You defend your friends.

“Y/N Stark, what did I tell you? This is way too dangerous for you kids!” He glared down at you.

“Dad, we couldn’t just-“

“I don’t wanna hear it.” He shook his head, bottom jaw jutting out in frustration. “Y/N, you’re supposed to be responsible. You were supposed to get back home. I told your mother you were back on earth, she’s going to kill us both if we don’t die up here.”

“I am responsible! Why do you think I’m here? I’m not just going to sit back and let Thanos kill half the population!” You argue.

“Don't pretend like you thought this through. You could not have possibly thought this through.” He points a finger on your face.

You open your mouth to snap at him, but a pained yell from Dr. Strange diverts your attention.

“We do not have time for this.” Eduardo says.

“Kids right, we got a situation.” Tony nods, then turns to you. “See him down there? He's in trouble. Since you’re so ready, what's your plan? Go.”

”Okay we’re gonna...” you lean over to scan the ship, then an idea pops into your head. “Have you guys seen that really old movie, Aliens?”

After you told them the plan, you took your positions. You and your dad flew over to distract the alien guy, El Dorado and Spider-Man stayed in the hiding spot.

“Painful aren't they? They were originally designed for microsurgery. And any one of them...” the alien asked Dr. Strange, then turned to us. “...Could end your friend's life in an instant.”

“I gotta tell you, he's not really my friend. Saving his life is more a professional courtesy.” Your dad shrugs.

“You've saved nothing. Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.” The alien slowly approached you.

“Yeah, but the kids have seen more movies.”

You turn and blast an opening in the ship, and it begins to suck everything out with depressurization. The alien gets pulled out, and Dr. Strange begins to gets blown towards the hole. Spider-Man grabs him with his webs, El Dorado holding onto a strand of webbing and holding him back. The webbing breaks, sending them out of the opening. Just before Spider-Man and the wizard get sucked out, metal spider legs shoot out of his back and brace him. You fly over and pull them back inside, while Iron Man quickly sprays nanites onto the hole to seal it.

“We've gotta turn this ship around.” Dr. Strange stands up, his Cloak returning to its place among his shoulders.

“Yeah. Now he wants to run. Great plan.” Tony retracts his helmet.

“No, I want to protect the stone.”

They begin to argue, Spider-Man also joining in a few times. You roll your eyes as Eduardo teleports beside you, taking your armored hand in his.

“What’s wrong?” Eduardo whispers to you.

“Nothing.” You grumpily mutter.

“I know somethings wrong cause you stop with the sarcasm when you’re upset. Talk to me, Corazon.” He leans down and kisses you on your temple.

“You heard what’s Thanos’ plan is.” You sigh, turning to face him, away from the argument. “He’s gonna wipe out half of...everything. Everyone.”

“No, he’s not.” He shakes his head.

“What do you mean that alien dude just said-“

“He’s not going to because we’re going to stop him.” Eduardo presses a finger to your lips to silence you. “Thanos won’t even know what hit him. Okay?”

“But-“

“Okay?” He says, tone slightly more stern.

“...okay.”

“Do you trust me?” He asks, grinning and pulling you closer to him by your waist.

“Of course I do.” You smile, craning your neck up to kiss him.

“And who are you?” Dr. Strange’s voice raises. You both look over, seeing them all staring at you and Eduardo.

“El Dorado.” Eduardo says, teleporting you both over to them.

“Iron Maiden.” You cross your arms.

“Like...the band?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, we don’t have time for this. This flying doughnut is probably flying us straight to so base.” Your dad interrupts.

“Can we control it?” El Dorado asks as the adults move towards the controls.

“Fly us home?” Dr. Strange asks, though he doesn’t get a response. “Stark?”

“Yeah. I heard you.” Tony mumbles. “I'm thinking...I'm not so sure we should.”

“Under no circumstance can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos. I don't think you quite understand what's at stake here.” Strange scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief.

They start to argue over what to do next, go back to earth or fly straight to Thanos. You and your teammates exchanged glances, all shrugging to each other. Your attention snaps back to Iron Man as he approaches you, and all 3 of you expect another scolding. Instead, he goes and taps each of your shoulders.

“Alright, kids. You’re Avengers now.” He says, guilt and regret clouding his eyes. None of you really take notice, too excited that you’re now official Avengers instead of just a team of inexperienced kids.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Peter piped up. All of you look out the large window, seeing that you’re approaching a planet.

“I think we’re here.” Dr. Strange mutters.

“Shit. We’re about to crash.” Tony curses, rushing to a steering gimbal. “Y/N, get the other. Follow my lead. Move at the same time.”

You rush over and grab the other one, mirroring every move your father makes. The ship heads straight for the center of what looks like a giant game of jacks.

“You might want to turn!” Eduardo yelps as Peter clings onto him.

“Turn! Turn!” Peter shrieks to the both of you.

You mimic your dads movements as Dr. Strange steps between the two of you, summoning a shield of some sort. Eduardo and Peter scream as the ship roughly crashes to the surface, and you nearly fall over from the impact. The ship tilts to one side, thankfully only leaning and not toppling onto its side. Dr. Strange helps up Tony, while Eduardo teleports to you and lifts you to your feet.

“Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something, and I eat one of you, I'm sorry.” Spider-Man says, hanging from the ceiling.

“I don't wanna hear another single pop culture out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand? Any of you, for that matter.” Tony points at each one of you.

“I'm trying to say that.. something is coming.” Peter says.

You watch as something rolls to the center of the circle you all have formed, and the grenade pushes you all back when it explodes.

“Thanos!” A deep voice booms, and you watch as 3 people appear in the doorway.

A large man with pale blue skin and red tattoos throws a blade at Dr. Strange, who easily deflected it and he Cloak wraps around the mans face. Another man in a mask tosses a disc towards you and your dad, pinning both of you to the ground. A bug lady goes for Spider-Man, who screams and wraps her in webbing. Eduardo goes for the man in the mask, dodging blasts from his gun. Iron pulls free from the magnet, but you still struggle against its hold. You watch as the masked man wraps El Dorado in a head lock, blaster pointed at Spider-Man, also held to the floor by a magnet. Iron Man has the tattooed man pinned under his foot, Dr. Strange had shields up and ready to fight.

“Alright, everybody, stay where you are... chill the F out.” The masked man retracts the helmet, revealing a normal human face. “I'm gonna ask you this one time. Where's Gamora?”

“Yeah, I'll do you one better. Who's Gamora?” Tony also retracts his helmet.

“I'll do you one better! Why is Gamora?” The tattooed man bellows from beneath your father.

“Tell me where my girl is, or I swear to you, I'm gonna French-fry these little freaks.” The previously masked man signals to Spider-Man and El Dorado.

“Hey man, that’s racist.” Eduardo quips, but shuts up when the blaster is pointed to his head.

“Let's do it! You shoot my guy, I blast him. Let's go!” Iron Man extends a canon out of his armor, pointing it down to the tattooed man.

“Dad!” You snap.

“What?!” Eduardo and Peter both whimper.

“Do it, Quill! I can take it.” The tattooed guy says, full of confidence.

“No, he can’t take it!” The big lady calls.

“She’s right, you can’t.” Dr. Strange deadpanned.

“Oh yeah? You don't wanna tell me where she is? That's fine. I'll kill all 5 of you and beat it out of Thanos myself.” He starts to activate his blaster, still pointed at Eduardo’s head. “Starting with you.”

“No!” You shout, trying to pull yourself off the ground.

“Wait, what? Thanos?” Dr. Strange squinted. “Alright, let me ask you this one time: What master do you serve?”

“What master do I serve? What am I supposed to say? Jesus?” The guy laughs.

“You’re from earth?” You ask.

“I'm not from Earth. I'm from Missouri.” He looks at you.

“Yeah, that’s on earth, dipshit.” Tony snapped.

“So, you’re not with Thanos?” Peter asked timidly.

“With Thanos?” The guy lowers his weapon momentarily, indignantly scowling. “No, I'm here to kill Thanos! He took my girl- Wai- who are you?”

“We’re the Avengers, el boludo.” Eduardo stated, still weary of the gun pointed at him.

“You’re the ones Thor told us about!” The bug lady exclaims.

“You know Thor?” Tony asked.

“Yeah. Tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.” He lowered the gun and let go of El Dorado. “So, you’re after Thanos too?”

“No.” You say sarcastically. “Now can you get me off of this thing?”

“Right.” He nods, pressing something and deactivating the magnetic fields for you and Peter. Iron Man steps off of the big guy, who then walks over to the big lady and mask dude.

“Boys, you can come in now.” One of them says into a com. Two guys walk in, and your jaw drops at who it is.

“Tye?! Jaime?!” You, Eduardo and Peter all exclaim.

“Oh shit-“ Tye winced when he saw Tony.

“You guys too? Seriously?” Tony says with a straight face, which is never a good sign.

“You guys know each other?” The mask guy asked them.

“You know them?” Eduardo points. “He tried to kill me!”

“So this looks bad...” Jaime says, pulling Tye back, who tried to avoid the confrontation. “We got trapped on a ship, they helped us out.”

“How did you get trapped on a ship too?!” Tony shouted, about to burst a blood vessel.

“How many children do you have?” Dr. Strange asked judgementally.

“Just these ones.” Tony seethed. “And they’re all disobedient and just like me, apparently.”

“Why are you guys up here too?” Jaime asked you.

“We got trapped too.” Peter and Eduardo look at you.

“We’ve been over this, it was for a good reason!” You defend yourself, before turning to the 3 people Tye and Jaime were with. “Now, who the hell are you guys?”

“We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy.” The mask guy grinned proudly. “Call me Star Lord, little lady. This is Drax and Mantis.”

“Great. Now that we’re through with formalities, we should come up with a proper plan.” Dr. Strange said.

“Agreed. Let’s go scope the place out. You’re all grounded when we get back home, I hope you know that.” Tony gestures to the 5 of you as you walk together behind the adults.

“Guess what, gomías?” Eduardo turns to Tye and Jaime.

“You guys have food that isn’t in a silver plastic bag and freeze dried?” Tye asked hopefully.

“No. We got crowned Avengers, and you didn’t!” Eduardo sang.

“What? No fair! Mr. Stark!” Jaime ran ahead to them.

“So did you guys actually get stuck on a ship?” Peter asked Tye.

“No, Jaime kidnapped me.” Tye rolled his eyes.

“Interesting.” Peter narrowed his eyes at you, as Eduardo snickered.

“Oh, shut up!” You playfully shove Peter, before you emerge form the ship.

“The heck happened to this planet? It's eight degrees off its axis. Gravitational pull is all over the place.” Star Lord thinks out loud, holding out some sort of measuring device.

“Yeah, we got one advantage. He's coming to us. We'll use it. All right, I have a plan.” Tony days as you all join him. “Or at least the beginnings of one. It's pretty simple. We draw him in, pin him down, get what we need. Definitely don't wanna dance with this guy. We just want the gauntlet so-“

Drax yawns, your dad stopping mid sentence to stare judging at him.

“Are you yawning? In the middle of this, while I'm breaking it down? Huh? Did you-did you hear what I said?” Your dad asks, flabbergasted.

“I stopped listening when you said ‘we need a plan’.” Drax mumbled.

“Okay, Mr. Clean is on his own page.” Tony shook his head.

“Yeah...” Tye pursed his lips, glancing at his best friend.

“See winging it isn’t really what they...do.” Jaime scratches the back of his neck.

“Uh, what exactly is it that they do?” Peter asked.

“Kick names, take ass.” Mantis says with the confidence of a drunk man.

“Yes, that’s right.” Drax agreed.

You all stare blankly at them in disbelief, then to turn to Star Lord, who grins cockily.

“Alright, just get over here, please. Mr. Lord, can you get your folks to circle up?” Tony sighs.

“Mr. Lord.” Star Lord snickers as he signals for Mantis and Drax to come closer. “Star Lord is fine. Or Quill, I suppose.”

“We gotta coalesce. 'Cause if all we come at him with is a plucky attitude-“

“Dude, don't call us plucky. We don't know what it means.” Star Lord scoffs, your dad staring at him in utter disbelief. “Alright, we're optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except it sucks, so let me do the plan, and that way it might be really good.”

Your dad opens his mouth to respond, before Drax pipes up again.

“Tell the children about the dance off to save the universe.”

“That’s...it’s nothing.” Quill shrugs, brushing it off casually.

“Like in Footloose?” Eduardo asked from beside you.

“Exactly like Footloose.” Star Lord smiled excitedly. “Is it still the greatest movie in history?”

“It never was.” Tye mumbled, Jaime elbowing him.

“Don’t encourage this.” You scold them.

“You know, Tye. I was going to adopt you. Not anymore, sonny.” Quill stuck his nose in the air, offended.

“Oh no. Whatever will I do?” Tye deadpanned.

“He’s my kid, anyways.” Tony says, before mumbling to you. “We're getting no help from Flash Gordon here.”

“Flash Gordon? That’s a compliment by the way. Don’t forget, I’m half human.” Quill points to each and every one of you. “So that 50% of me that’s stupid? That’s 100% you.”

“Your math is blowing my mind.” Your dad looks ready to tear Quills head off.

“Excuse me, but...does your friend often do that?” Mantis cleared her throat.

You all fall silent as you look past her to Dr. Strange. He’s sitting cross legged, floating in the air. His head is jerking rapidly from side to side, blurring but it appears as if he’s looking for something.

“Strange! We alright?” Tony shouts, as you slowly approach and gently grab his arm.

His eyes snap open as he falls to the ground, letting out a cry.

“Hey, you’re okay.” You say in your most comforting tone.

“You’re back, you’re alright.” Tony crouches down next to you as the others gather from a short distance away.

“Hey, what was that?” Peter asked.

“I went forward in time to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.” Dr. Strange pants.

“How many did you see?” Eduardo asked as he stood beside you.

“14,000,605.”

“And how many did we win?” You ask.

Your heart aches and your stomach drops at the look on his face, hopelessness flashing in the wizards eyes. You grab Eduardo’s hand as dread washes over you.

“One.”

#marvel #dc #request #young justice #eduardo dorado jr x stark! reader #the rise of iron maiden #tye longshadow #jaime reyes #peter parker #dr strange #guardians of the galaxy #avengers endgame #infinity war #mcu

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phynali · 5 years

Note

If given the chance, how would you rewrite the MCU?

Anon. Anon. Anon.

How wouldn’t I?

I mean - okay, there’s a lot you have to keep the same just for the sake of like, continuity, clarity, and keeping the bones there.

I’d probably keep all the original movies in Phase 1 as they are with only minor tweaks. I’d fix the mess that was Iron Man 2. I’d give Black Widow and Hawkeye a movie of their own to establish their characters. Hmm, I can see that coming after the first Avengers, possibly.

The first Avengers film though, that’s where I would make the first major changes.

Loki’s characterization is a mess and not properly explained in canon. I’d put him more obviously under Thanos’s thumb. I’d fix Cap’s messed up characterization. I wouldn’t have Thor show up when he does because, hey - bifrost issues. We’d see him and Heimdall from Asgard trying to work on that problem and let them find a cogent way to get Thor to earth. So, he’d show up for the final battle and to take Loki home. He’d be the ace in the hole that helps allow the Avengers to assemble and overtake Loki.

Okay, so fix Iron Man 2. I can barely remember it but I know it needs fixing.

Cap 2 I’d leave intact. I might give Hulk a follow-up movie tbh, or rather, probably tie him in to the Black Widow and Hawkeye movie that would follow the first Avengers.

Also put more female heroes front and centre earlier on. And especially WoC.

Big issues arise by the time we get to Age of Ultron. Fix that hot mess of a movie.

Hawkeye doesn’t have a family and a farm. That was weird. Erase that shit. Don’t set up a romance between Nat and Bruce. Don’t -

Look, I mean no disrespect to Tony stans -

Don’t make every problem in the MCU something that was inadvertently caused by Tony. Because like every Iron Man movie involves a villain who felt scorned by him, and then AoU was caused by him messing with the Mind Stone (Bruce too, okay, but Bruce isn’t the one with the narrative trend here) and all the villains in the Spider-Man movies, and then there’s how shit played out in Civil War and -

Okay so fix AoU. Have the Mind Stone literally take on a life of it’s own and don’t fucking make it the fault of Tony’s hubris, okay. Make it more accidental and incidental than it was. Don’t make it something that happened overnight from tinkering.

And for the love of god, make it so that Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver did not sign up to be experimented on, but rather keep their comic origins. They’re Jewish Romani PoC. Give them a narrative that’s authentic to those identities.

I also would not fucking kill off Quicksilver, what the honest fuck?

Actually also don’t just make up a random country and code it a given way and then destroy it. I know it’s an MCU movie and therefore actually needs a giant CGI battle at the end, but okay - Age of Ultron. Stretch that shit out. Make it more clever. Show some more subtle and almost… guerilla tactics from the Avengers, taking down Ultron’s armies? Instead of a single battle in a country we don’t know about and haven’t been told to care about from a narrative standpoint, have Ultron go after their friends and families, have them fight smart and mean but no less visually pleasing to watch. The Avengers don’t have the numbers on Ultron’s army, but they can (and do) recruit Wanda and Maximo and they fight their fight using all their resources - not just their fists.

Okay so let’s move on.

iron Man 3 was great, but the whole bit with Pepper being kidnapped? Not that into it, personally. Also not into her getting powers and then getting them taken away. There was a lot to love about that movie, but so many Iron Man movies tease at this idea of Tony wanting to retire, or getting out, and they need to just back off that and let him own his heroism. That movie navigates so much so well so let it be.

Okay -

Thor 2? Don’t fucking kill Thor’s mom. Friga deserves better. Stop motivating male characters by killing women. Let Loki and Thor come together by Friga being injured, by their dad dying, by a desire to bring their mother joy - whatever. Just - don’t kill her. I’m still pissed about how much they take from Thor over time.

I’d keep Cap 2 the same, and the only changes I’d make to GotG would be -

Okay wait actually. There are huge glaring issues with that movie. Gamora is poised to be the hero of these movies and finds herself as the damsel in distress or incapable whenever the narrative needs her to be. I fucking hate it. Let her shine more. Show instead of tell. Let each character develop in their own right rather than dropping some random backstory notes in expository dialogue. Build up to the notion that it’s super weird Quill can hold the Stone and actually like… acknowledge it in the movie. You can keep the story basically the same but fix things with Gamora’s narrative, please please please.

Okay Ant-Man is great. There’s a huge narrative issue within the entire MCU with how they exclude Janet Van-Dyne though, and how she isn’t introduced until now even though she should be a fundamental member of the Avengers. I would almost like, at some point in Phase 1-3, a movie with Janet at the helm, possibly (to keep their timeline intact), her working with Peggy, working with SHIELD, with a young Fury or something, and laying the groundwork for the Avengers. A lot of what Captain Marvel eventually did, but situated fully on earth, and coming much sooner in the MCU itself.

Civil War was a hot mess. They needed to actually explain and detail both sides and the problems with them. It functioned amazing as an introduction to Black Panther and I love it for that, but it wasn’t a Cap movie, not really, and I’m bitter about it. This movie should have focused around the Black Panther, Cap, Bucky narrative, and dropped the whole Civil War with the other Avengers stuff entirely.

Actually - Civil War needs to be either an entirely separate movie on its own or else… drop it. Deal with it differently. That airport fight was an embarrassment. Let the Avengers break down during Cap 3 if you need do, but make it more interpersonal and tense, and less throwing punches and locking each other up. Make it more human, more relatable, because those were the best parts of that whole divide. Make it real for the viewer, for fuck’s sake. Don’t have Tony (seriously what’s with them making him do villainous things and painting them as heroic) blackmail a literal child into a battlezone????

Okay - and Cap issues, they need to either set up Agent 13 aka Sharon Carter as a proper love interest sooner, or else drop that. They drop breadcrumbs of her in a few movies but that’s it. It feels hollow between them by the time they actually kiss. They should either keep their dynamic as “could have been but whoops, nope” or have done more to set them up together in Cap 2.

(Totally honest, total bias here - take out love interests altogether or let Cap be the bi icon that he should be and let him and Falcon hook up in Cap 2. Let the fact that he was in love with Bucky be canon but you don’t need to set them up as a couple. Let it be recognized that they love each other but god there’s too much there, too much mess, they don’t need to be together in the present to acknowledge that history. Either way keep the Bucky and Sam dynamic because it’s amazing).

Doctor Strange - fix the casting. The racism, appropriation - just - wow. Use this as an opportunity to introduce more Asian and East Asian characters and actors into the MCU rather than it being the appropriative mess that it is. Keep the cool visuals though, and the cape. The narrative itself isn’t bad, but spend less time establishing this asshole character and more time establishing the side characters and the dynamics between them because those are far more interesting.

GotG 2 - uhhhh… okay what was this? Peter Quill is Ego’s son, but how does that really advance anything in the MCU or about the character or … ? Just fix the whole goddamn plot, I don’t even know. Tie this shit into Thanos way better. Introduce that better. Make this movie more interesting, make Nebula the Big Bad of it, honestly. Dive into the other members of the Guardians and give them their backstories and plots that they deserve. Is this the Guardians or the Peter Quill show? I don’t know I just - just fix this, okay?

Thor Ragnarok and Black Panther need no fixing. Remember that in this version of the MCU, Thor’s mom is alive, so that’s there. She’s still on Asgard and with Heimdall and being awesome, and we get some awesome interactions between her and Hel because we fucking deserve that, okay? Also Valkyrie’s bi scenes aren’t deleted (fuck you, Marvel execs). I would love love love for Killmonger not to die at the end of Black Panther, personally, but I wouldn’t change much more than that.

Oh wait I forgot - with the whole Bucky in Wakanda thing? Fucking take that out or do something narratively with it. It’s the weirdest brushed-aside thing that serves no genuine narrative purpose. I’d err on the side of taking it out entirely, personally.

Infinity War is fine, leave it as-is more or less, except for -

Okay, so we need textual discussion and canonical pushback against Thanos’s ideals. Because so many people came out of that movie all “oh but he’s got a point - population is expanding blah blah blah” and it was such fucking bullshit. We needed Gamora to point out why Thanos was fucking wrong - why her people were not actually better off after he killed half of them, thank you very much. We needed Tony to point out “population doesn’t work that way, it’ll bounce back in 50 years - do you plan to keep doing this each time? why not double resources?”. We needed people to tell the audience not just that Thanos was bad, but why he was bad, and that there is no ‘random’ and he needed to be a monster and selfish and it needed to be way more clear that his was not a sublime ideal of a detached idol, but rather the ravings of an entitled man whose gone unhinged and hateful.

Okay. So that. And don’t make the final battle just decimate Wakandan soil and its army? Why do they have to fight Earth’s battles for it? Let that be a joint effort and not just a Wakandan one, jfc. I get that you had the set ready and all, but no, don’t treat Wakanda like that, it deserves better. If ever there was a time to blow the budget on a final fight, this would be it, so freaking do it and have that battle be in space and over earth and at many different locations but then zeroing in on where Vision is (which itself can be in Wakanda because it’s safest but yeah).

And honestly I wouldn’t make it so Gamora died, like wtf. I hated that. I hated the whole bit with the Soul Stone. I could swallow it if what they did was have Gamora turn into the Soul Stone - so that she could, as the stone, set up a sabotage to Thanos.

Okay - more on that. Let’s talk about Endgame. Endgame needs so much goddamn fixing. Holy fuck does it need fixing.

Okay - okay where do I even start. I make myself mad whenever I think about it.

Five years? Five fucking years? What the fuck is wrong with you, Russo brothers? Time travel? What - just -

I hated that movie with a passion.

Okay - so the Snap happened. Pick up right after. Give us the fucking shock and horror. Give us the attempt to regroup, just quick, the intense emotions - people punching walls. Show us snippets of the world quickly, news casts etc. This is a horror, let it be one. Own the shit that you did.

Give us a time skip-montage. A month out, the pressure is on to the Avengers to fix this. The Avengers are all traumatized. Clint doesn’t have a family in this version, and doesn’t go all terminator. Thor - he wouldn’t have as much time to spiral but let him get there, let him be unwell, unkempt, let him own his suffering because goddamn he’s lost so much. (oh I forgot, I actually wouldn’t kill Loki and Heimdall because wtf wtf I hate you Infinity War, but let’s move on - )

Five months - people are losing hope. There are therapy sessions. Cap is a mess. Everyone blames themselves. Tony “if I’d only made the call to Cap sooner, we could have worked together” (also he and Nebula make it to earth fast, none of that lost in space and starving stuff), Cap “if only I hadn’t been so arrogant as to not trade lives”, Thor “if only I’d gone for the head”, etc etc. let it be clear that it’s not just Thor’s fault and not just Peter Quill’s fault - that all of those in charge of decision making fucked up.

Ant-Man isn’t freaking saved by a rat, thank you. He comes out of the quantum realm on his own merits, some safeguard, only to realize shit’s messed up. He and Janet work together with the remaining Avengers. maybe Janet saved him from the quantum realm this time? what a nice parallel to him saving her. anyway, they use the quantum realm to find thanos. Or - fuck that, they use Nebula to find Thanos. She knows shit. What they use the quantum realm for is to realize that all the souls that were lost in the snap aren’t ‘dead’ dead, they’re in stasis. They’re in a liminal space - they’re in the Soul Stone. Because Gamora is the stone and she sucked up all those lives and is holding them, holding for dear life but she can’t hold on forever (make sure the stakes are high, they feel real, the clock is ticking). Captain Marvel teams up with them of course. they track down thanos.

“but Phyn” you say, “thanos still has all the stones? how can they defeat him?” great question! difficult to answer! i’m not sure! with the power of love!

okay but really - they have an awesome team. they need to work smarter than the enemy, not harder. they can take out thanos’s generals. they can use nebula to slip past defenses. if loki were alive, which he should be, they can use his magic. if friga were alive, which she should be, they can use hers. if heimdall were alive, which he should be, they can use his eyes. they can use the magic of all the magicians in the doctor strange films. they have captain marvel.

but they will never win on might alone, or magic alone - not against a full complement of infinity stones. not unless -

have you seen Avatar: The Last Airbender? if so - you know how Azula gets a little unhinged toward the end? she’s just a kid, i feel for her, but the point for here is that she does enough shit and gets what she (thinks she) wants and it takes a devastating toll on her. using the stones, clearing half the life in the universe - that took a toll on thanos. it was a terrible choice. he’s in denial, in self-deception about that. he’s coming apart at the seams. he’s not all chill about it, he’s spiralling hard. he lost half his army too, after all. and life doesn’t seem improved. he can hear the cries of the souls locked in the soul stone (not that he realizes what he’s hearing nor acknowledges it) and it’s like the beating heart under the floorboards. his crimes have left scars. he’s not well. physically, from the toll of the Snap, nor mentally, from everything else it took out of him.

let gamora save the fucking day. let her and Vision and their stones - hell, let Loki (maybe he’s fused with the tesseract and maybe thanos did kill him to acheive that, or maybe something else) - let the stones respond to people. to quill. to freaking Jane Goddamn Foster. let the stones’ connections to life undermine and corrupt thanos and his connection to death.

is it cheesy? maybe. is it better than time travel bullshit? definitely. because it uplifts. because it draws from heroes in all the movies, even unlikely ones. people who’ve touched the stones, held them, melded with them. it assumes that the stones aren’t static entities, that they are just as alive as us, in a way we can’t comprehend, and so much more. they resonate with the universe, and thanos has done something that scarred the universe. let this be rectified, not through the actions of a man’s sacrifice, but through the actions, big and small, of a ton of people, of unlikely heroes, of those who suffered personally at his hand, at the hands of the stones - let it be the will of half the goddamn universe to see thanos fall.

let the snap-back happen when thanos loses control over the stones (he’s been holding on tight this whole time, can’t let it slip, the stones have a ‘mind’ of their onw). let it happen again right before the final battle against his armies. let him not have the power to immediately re-snap, hand burnt by the force of the snap-back, and let thor take off his fucking arm this time. let nebula take off his fucking head. let there be a huge final battle with everyone alive and ready to go down swinging once again.

and okay, i’m okay with tony dying. i’d be game for him to die by destroying the stones, tbh - taking them out of existence henceforth so they can never be used like this again, even though it kills him. i think that would honestly be a really fulfilling conclusion to the narrative set up in the first Iron Man film - the reformed arms dealer destroying the ultimate weapons in the universe.

by this way - there’s been 5-8 months or something like that, not 5 years, but why not have Pepper be pregnant, why not have a little child who’ll get to live on after he’s gone, even if that kid won’t remember him? she’ll get to live in a universe that exists and is safe because of him.

i’d be okay with cap dying in this movie too (much better than him going back and stealing peggy’s life from her by changing her history, wtf wtf wtf). i refuse to accept nat dying in clint’s place, that was bullshit and totally not necessary in this version. gamora is also back, not from the past but from the present, and with her sister again. this time nebula got to save gamora, isn’t there some poetic justice in that?

okay okay that’s all that. whew.

I forgot about Captain Marvel. It was decent, I liked it. It wasn’t my favorite in the sense that it was laid out odd when it came to falling in love with this character. Like I wouldn’t change much of the plot but I’d change the… storytelling? The emotions used to connect us to Carol. Give us more of her past from the start, before you introduce her. Give us her childhood. And let Maria be her girlfriend, fucking please.

Okay - now we’re at Far From Home. I didn’t mention Homecoming before but the problem with both of these movies is one I mentioned earlier - that the villains are byproducts of choices made by Tony Stark. That’s a problem. There’s just so many goddamn movies in which that’s the ultimate villain and it fucks with Tony’s characterization so much. How am I supposed to love Tony (which I want to?) when he’s got satellites with drones that can attack anyone he names, tech not that unlike the tech Hydra was aiming to make. Sure, he won’t use it the same, but why the fuck does he have it? Giving it to Peter is all well and good, but - they have interacted maybe a grand total of 5 times?

The relationship between Peter and Tony is cute but if you stop for a second, it’s annoying as hell that it’s built up to what it is. Peter gets recruited by Tony, mostly works with Happy and not Tony in Civil War, and then gets ignored by Tony for months and months on end, then Tony shows up and scolds him and takes his suit, and then invites him to be an Avenger when he doesn’t fuck up, and then they go off to space and Peter dies, and then everyone comes back to life and Tony dies. Why the fuck would Tony entrust Peter with this Edith system that allows him to kill anyone on Earth? Actually, fuck that, entrust is the wrong word - why the fuck would Tony put that weight on the shoulders of a child?

Far From Home is great but Tony’s post-mortem role in it makes almost no sense. Let Peter’s movies be about Peter and not about the shadow and then the ghost of Tony Stark. Please. I love Tony, I do, but if you stop and think for one second, you have to jump mental hoops to absolve the shit Tony does in Peter’s movies, and for many of us, it leaves a really awful taste in our mouths.

anyway - i probably missed stuff. that’s just what’s currently top of mind. #whoops

#i spent too many hours of my life on this #marvel #mcu #walrus #you said you wanted to read this when i got around to answering...#here you go #marvel critical #mcu critical #ask to tag #comics etc #Anonymous #long post #long post for ts

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ekkorn · 5 years

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hi there, just saw in the tags that you didn‘t like endgame. would you like to expand on that? i am curious to know other people‘s perspective. personally, i liked it. it has flaws, yes, but to me it was enjoyable. if you don‘t feel like answering, that is fine :) have a great day!

oh wow. you really wanna know? okay, but on your own head be it. :o

i’m just joking, i’ll go easy, or at least give you the digest (a vicious lie) version. if you want to see the full extent of my derision and vitriol, you can go to @lowkeysebastianstan, which is the blog where i’ve tried to limit this too. but to give you the not at all short and not so sweet of it, here goes. (endgame spoilers obviously).

the first thing that really set me off was the ending, more precisely, what steve did. it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and hit me closer to home than most of my followers here since bucky and steve are my fave characters, and the only ship i really have. now, i never thought stucky would become canon, not even a little, i didn’t even hope for it. sure, the representation would’ve been awesome, but there’s no way marvel could’ve done it justice, so it was just as well it was never gonna happen. what i hadn’t prepared for was to what extreme extent they were terrified of the ship and the effect it would have if they were to let it be even a hint that could be interpreted as some emotional connection between them, for 3 films they’re built bucky up as the most important character in steve’s life, he’s risked his own life to save him, he basically eradicated hydra during wwii fueled by grief for him, he was prepared to die for him in tws, he fought his friends and gave up everything for him in cacw, and then he just? leaves? to be with a woman who died of old age and natural causes after a long fulfilling life with another man and family of her own. who specifically told him to fucking move on in tws? yeah, sure. and do not get me wrong, i adore sam wilson, after bucky, and the real steve rogers, he is by far my fave in the cap verse (saving a few spots for my bp and cm peeps in the mcu, but we’ll get to them), and he is the superior choice to pick up the mantle, no doubt about it. (okay, a little doubt, they teased sebastian with that shield for 8 years, they based bucky on the brubaker storyline where he becomes cap, and so i do feel a little torn bc no matter how happy he must be for his friend, and him and mackie are good friends, he must be a little disappointed? but who knows, maybe they’ll do something with that in the series, which would be stupid af bc that would negate the positive leap in representation, and mackie deserves it too, so who the fuck knows, i’ll probably not be around to keep track anyways, and can you tell im rambling), but for steve’s last words to be to sam? while bucky stands and watch in the background? like??? i could go on in (more excruciating) detail, but that was why i linked the blog, there might be a point or two about this on there.

but that was just the start. all through the movie i felt disconnected and uneasy, they made some really weird choices, but i don’t think it was until nat took the plunge that i knew i had an absolute dud on my hands.

the mcu has done a lot of things right, but their treatment of women is NOT one of them. and oh boy did they go out with a bang. first is the obvious implication, he got to live bc he had “more to live for”, and she didn’t have a family, and ye gods we know she can’t have kids, so why should she live?

(see, if the bw movie wasn’t in the books, i’d completely get it, if it was to give scarjo her life back, and she wanted nat to be good and dead, sure. actually, when i first watched it, that’s what i thought tbh, that the bw movie was cancelled, so. but it’s not, so she will return. and since that the case it’s just fucked up that they yeeted her off the roster. and sure, some of the bw movie was always gonna be set in the past, but tbh? i don’t see much point in prequels for dead characters, you know that whatever happens won’t affect the outcome for the character at all, and i usually find them completely void of meaning. that might just be me though). and of course the fact that she died the same way gamora went didn’t help. (gamora’s death was maybe the single worst thing in aiw, she was fridged, not for the advancement of one man, but for two (thanos and quill) and it.just.shouldn’t.have.worked.thanos.cannot.love! again, mcu and women? not a good match.)

then of course, it comes back to steve and how much he doesn’t give a crap about the people close to him in the present, we never see him care or grieve for anyone but peggy, and he could barely spare two tears for nat before it was all business again. and the rest of the team? i think clint cared a little, and banner threw a chair, but that was it. no memorial, not burial, no nothing, it was like she never existed, and she died saving the world just as much as tony, he couldn’t have done jack shit without the soul stone.

and speaking of women, shuri and okoye? before the trailer dropped i was sure shuri was in this, that we’d get to see her lead in her brother’s stead. i actually did a short lament on this already, here.

carol was terribly underused, after all the oompf about her being there she was barely a blip. but the haircut was fantastic, and the best part of the movie was when she returned at the end.

then there’s nebula and gamora (again). at first i was actually quite pleased that they sort of found a loophole to bring gamora back, but then i thought about it (yes, sometimes i get seduced by the flashy colours too) and yeah. sure. a gamora is there, but she’s void of all the things that makes her interesting and all her development is just gone, everything “our” gamora achieved and experienced is gone, three films worth of arc is worthless. so what then is the point of getting “her” back? i don’t care about this person, i don’t know her. are we gonna see quill just harass her the next film, bc you know, she’s been with him, so why shouldn’t he expect her to just do that now? tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, but now that gunn is back maybe he can save it? not that i’ll be around to keep track though.

then nebula. nvm that time paradox, that’s a whole other fuckfest i’ll get back to, but we had to get to see her get killed too, didn’t we. by her sister, the only person in the world she loves. fucking fantastic, i cannot control my enthusiasm.

and no, cool as it was, the a-force surrounding parker is not enough to bring this home. it was a cool sight though. (see? i can see the good.)

then of course it’s peggy. a woman he knew for a few months back during the war. (sure they knew each other longer, but i’d say, even if you’re very generous, they can’t have spent more than a couple of months in each other’s company, and they kissed once). who they stripped of all character development and autonomy so that steve could go back and get his “damce”. everything she achieved, every good thing that happened to her, her husband, her family, her advancement in shield, all gone. bc steve must have his happy ending, no matter that she told him to move the fuck on in tws, who cares.

and then there’s sharon. yeah, they forgot about her, didn’t they. i mean, i was never really on board with that, the whole aunt/niece thing was a bit too weird for me, and this was way before i shipped stucky, but that doesn’t matter. bc they did that, they had them kiss within days after peggy’s death (oooh, look how he cared for peggy), making it clear that this was the beginning of something. (also marvel and several of the actors treated emily like crap, oh yeah, i remember, doesn’t help either.)

(gods i said this would be short, didn’t i? imagine if i could’ve spent all the words i’ve spent ranting about endgame on my latest chapter? good grief.)

then there’s their so called lgbt representation. 30 seconds of a character that had a total of 60 sconds of screentime in tws lamenting his dead lover? well. i. they wanted credit for that. i just.

then there’s thor. they negated every ounce of development he had in ragnarok, this also goes for aiw, wasn’t happy about that, and made him completely ooc, he just spends his time drinking ab\nd playing fortnite of all things? bold of them to assume that will still be a thing in 5 years, but also? thor? THOR? neglecting his people? his friends? the world? thor? then they of course made him fat, haha, so they could add fat-shaming to the list while they make light and fun of his drinking problems, his grief and his ptsd. awesome. the funniest.

then there’s clint. that they just randomly made a killer? just, like a straight up murderer? okay then. and still nat deserved to die. excellent.

then there’s banner. okay, i don’t think they fucked him up as bad as the others, but it’s still strange he would risk his intelligence to become hulk full time, but you do you.

rocket and rhodey were the best things about this damn disaster, just putting it out there.

then there’s tony. i mean, we knew he was the main protagonist, and im not objecting that, (even if i think it’s really strange he’d be born in 1970) but idk. that was strange’s plan? all that for that? and pepper just went, eh what the hell, just die, i can raise this kid you wanted. (i know, i know, she’s her mom, she cares), but it was just so flat. and idk. i mean, rdj wanted his life back, just as evans, but i’d want to see that switched, that tony get to retire and steve sacrifice himself to save the world. tony could still be the deciding factor in strange’s plan even if steve delivered the coup de grace. at least he cared enough to show an emotion™when peter came back, which was more than steve bothered with. jfc they fucked up steve.

then there’s the time travel. okay, a few things about the 2012 thing. they put him in the elevator, and then, instead of having him just kick the crap out of the agents, they reference hydra!cap? the biggest shitstorm in the comics in the last two decades? like what the actual fuck? then of course there’s the americas ass thing, which, again, that’s steve, cares about his ass but not his friends! (but at least 2012 steve cares about bucky, maybe he’ll save him a couple of years early, back to the future steve will just live out his life knowing bucky is getting tortured somewhere in siberia, good times.) oh! and i guess they have their loophole to get loki back too, great, they’ll probably just forget that he’s not in the main timeline, bc who cares.

and the fun just keeps coming with the time travel. oh they tried with some crap explanation that no one can make sense of, but here’s the kicker. they can’t either, they don’t even want to try, they don’t even agree with each other.

+ +

how did they know to meet up in wakanda or wherever, the dustees? did strange send a memo? not just the ppl in the soul realm or wherever they were, but all the others too, like valkyrie and hope. time and place just magically popped into their heads? and what happened when they all came back? or some came back, bc obviously a shit ton of ppl died at the dusting, like the pilot of a 747 gone? plane goes down and such, ppl really dead. and where do they reappear? where they disappeared? aka those passengers that got dusted comes back mid flight? fun! and what about the ones that moved on in their absence? what happens to the ones that come back when their wives and husbands are remarried, when there’s no place for them in their old lives. did all of peter’s classmates get dusted, or did the rest of the class graduate without him, i must assume that all of those in s:ffh did, otherwise some would be in college by now, yeah?

and that’s another reason their watertight time travel is leaky af, there’s no way to get the logistics to work. the only option as such would have been to go back to 2018 and fix it, to reset time, bc otherwise there are just too many holes, it’s just not possible. but they can’t do that bc then they’ll undo all the things that happen in the future that the characters don’t want to lose, like tony’s kid.

oh, i know, it’s a superhero movie, but im strange like that, i expect a modicum of internal logic in all my movies, the bitch that i am.

okay, im gonna leave it there, ive run out of steam, and i want to gif a set. there’s a few things more, but i think you’ve gotten the gist, that i’m not a fan of this movie and a short (lol, so sorry, nothing is ever digest with me, i should’ve warned you) list of reasons why. honestly this is the first time i’ve really don’t a more general account, ive pretty much stuck to steve and that crapshute, there’s a lot of other blogs that concentrate on the other characters, i’d list a few, but i don’t have it in me rn, pop me a msg if you’re interested, also if you’re interested in some real meta, this rambling rant isn’t something that people should be exposed to honestly.

avengers: endgame was a shit movie and no amount of “he’s worthy” and “avengers assemble” is going to fix that, BUT if you enjoyed it, i don’t think less of you, obviously everyone is different, and i envy the hell out of you, i sorely wish i could’ve liked it too. the russos directed what is by far the best movie in the mcu imo, tws, and they had us all fooled, even if we probably should’ve seen it coming after iron man 4: civil war.

hope you’re having a spectacular day, sorry you had to read this if you did, and and thank you for making mine better, i really had a rant in me needing out. (you’d think i’d run out of hate for this by now, but nah.)

thank you for the ask :)

#whyisitsohardtogetoutofbed #ask #answered #anti endgame #i am sorry #i know it's awfully negative #but you asked #obviously you couldn't have been prepared for this though #so i am i bit sorry #lisa's crap #oh look a new tag #i refuse to keep tagging for spoilers #if you've still not seen it idk what to tell you #also the read more should be enough

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fromdirectorlanawachowski · 5 years

Text

honest and unmerciful endgame thoughts

a sequel to this post

this is deadass one of the worst movies i’ve ever seen.

a few brief thoughts before i get into the more or less play by play.

- making jokes about how time travel in movies isn’t really how time travel works doesn’t work if you’re a fucking movie dude

- fat thor was a fucking disgrace

- professor hulk has to have been 80% ad-libbed because there’s no way someone actually wrote that garbage dialogue

- using a past thanos was a mistake because we don’t actually give a shit about him

OKAY LETS GO

actually fuck it i was gonna do plot point by plot point but i’m just so exhausted i don’t have the strength to do it. i’m gonna go in broad strokes and if you want me to elaborate on WHY something was bad feel free to yell at me in the DMs

okay lets go

right away the whole thing with clint fucking turning on the spot as his family disappears was goofy as all hell. i know exactly what they were going for but having him literally turn on the spot instead of go into the house or go into the shed just draws attention to the absolute hilarity of how fast they vanished compared to others.

why the fuck was tony skin and bones when he got back to earth. i know he was in space for three weeks but they clearly show him eating during the montage of him and nebula doing.... things?

also everyone just kind of trusts nebula? okay? i’d be wary of purple aliens in light of what just happens but inclusivity i guess

also you mean to tell me that in three weeks they scanned the entire universe for gamma radiation? also enough gamma radiation that would show up on a scan from light years away but not fry everyone nearby when thanos snapped?

as soon as they killed thanos i knew the climax of this movie was gonna suck ass.

the writers have no idea how fast human hair grows if five years later natasha still has that godawful blonde dye on her tips

a fucking rat got scott lang out of the quantum realm. i don’t have any commentary for this because this scene speaks for itself. a rat.

moreover how did they even get the van down from the rooftop it was on at the end of ant man 2

fat thor. i don’t have any commentary about this either. the whole thing reeks of the russos looking at taika and going “you wanna be a funny man? you want thor to be fucking funny? you think he’s hilarious? fuck you”

oh i guess i did have commentary on that after all

i’m glossing right over the gay scene because again, taika fought tooth and nail to get bisexual valkyrie and now the russo shitters get to say they had the first canon lgbt character and it’s a couple of throwaway lines that can be redubbed for china. seriously. i don’t think there’s ever a scene where he says “he” or “him” while his lips are on screen.

apparently i am doing this relatively plot point by plot point but i digress

if i was keeping points like cinemasins (ew) i’d take a few off for morgan stark. i’m an bitch but not that much of one.

oh yeah pepper potts’ first of, i believe, four lines in this movie is “yeah i’m reading about compost”. i have no commentary for this either. it speaks for itself.

tony hits upon time travel in a day

i’m so glad we couldn’t get any real character development for anyone but we had time for the four minute “ant man becomes various aged forms of himself and then makes a peeing your pants joke in 2019″ scene.

“that’s how time travel works in movies this is real life” that’s great except that joke falls flat cause you’re a fuckin movie bro

i’m skipping over the entirety of the battle of new york thing because that was just fucking.... *benny hill music*

oh no i’m addressing the ancient one thing. love to have characters retconned into previous movies so they can try and explain the time travel in a way that actually makes it more confusing and also isn’t the way the movie follows

steve leering at peggy through the blinds was creepy, i’m sorry. actually the way he was suddenly obsessed with her this whole movie was really creepy.

howard potts

tony meeting his dad was so awkward and uncomfortable and they really meant for it to be heartwarming but i’m sorry it was fucking hilarious and i was howling with laughter in the theater

likewise thor with frigga. a really nice, emotional moment where thor gets closure with his mom and she overtly says she knows she’s going to die soon but she loves him and she’s so proud of him....

..... and then tops it off with a fat joke. the russos can’t let any kind of emotion hang without making a joke.

when they killed natasha a guy three rows down said “if they were killing her here why the fuck did they greenlight her movie then”

why did thanos get a scene confronting the cost of the stone but clint just wakes up in a puddle? are you gonna tell me thanos cared more about gamora than clint did about natasha? ok.

okay i’ll admit seeing quill dancing on morag without the background music was funny as fuck. rhodey explaining the punchline was not funny as fuck though

three cheers for nebula inexplicably having new abilities

as soon as they brought in past thanos i knew the climax of this movie was gonna suck a big ass

hulk snaps the iron infinity gauntlet because he’s the only one that can withstand the gamma radiation that it allegedly emits and has been mentioned only once before in this movie

the fact that it works is demonstrated by not anyone coming back, but ant man looking out the window at some birds. yeah. gee.

okay i have a question here that may take a little bit to explain.

earlier in the movie it’s explicitly stated they only have enough pym particles for one round trip each. that’s why steve and tony had to go back to 197X to get the tesseract and more particles.

so.

past-nebula takes current-nebula’s place and uses her particles to travel back to the present, leaving current-nebula with no particles

so how did past-thanos bring his ship to the present with no pym particles

anyway past-gamora and current-nebula kill past-nebula to get the iron infinity gauntlet back

the final battle was whatever. i couldn’t for the life of me tell you what happened or where anyone was in relation to anyone else because it was cut so poorly

everyone comes back. remember at the end of my infinity war thoughts when i said the end had no stakes because obviously everyone snapped came back and you all got mad at me? everyone comes back.

the ladies all running the gauntlet would be cool if it wasn’t encompassed by shots of all the men running the gauntlet, drawing attention to the fact there’s literally only like seven ladies and one of them isn’t even a hero

joss whedon was the cinematographer the day they shot wanda fighting thanos, judging from all the gratuitous shots down her shirt. i know elizabeth olsen has nice boobs. believe me, i do. i’m envious. but for the love of christ stop being creepy voyeurs about it

also “you took everything from me” “i don’t even know who you are???” that was a great setup for her to use her mind powers and make thanos experience some suffering but they just didn’t do that so those lines are hilarious

tony gets the stones and snaps, killing thanos and all his army. thanos fades away into dust while a woman vocalizes in the background in a manner that’s less satisfying than when voldemort did the exact same thing in deathly hallows part 2

tony dies because i guess?

at the funeral everyone is there and there’s shots lingering on everyone including this weird kid who looks like he’d microwave a gerbil? i had to google him and it’s supposed to be the kid from iron man 3. i feel like seven years later you should probably put in a line like “thanks for coming <whatever that kid’s name was>

okay we’ve reached the part i have the absolute most beef with.

steve’s ending

from the start of this movie he’s been inexplicably obsessed with peggy. the ending is telegraphed from a mile away and i was still shocked and stunned that they actually did this.

so steve just gives up everything, all his friends and family, to go back in time to be with a woman he knew for max a year, in the heat of war, where emotions run high and they may very well have latched onto each other in case they died.

steve rogers, the man who wielded mjolnir, the man who broke his friend’s mental conditioning just be refusing to fight him, just sits back through the 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s. the cuban missile crisis, the LA riots, the assassination of JFK, the death of howard and maria stark, the infiltration of shield, the berlin wall, 9/11, the war on terror, and he just.... did nothing?

what the fuck was that

sam is captain america now though so i’m down with that

but i’m still so angry

this is beyond character assassination for steve. it’s... outright brutal murder and mutilation. anywhere i can, i give endgame a half star review FOR THIS ALONE. setting aside fat thor and how they treat Ragnarok, the fact they think steve rogers would, after everything he’s done and learned, go back into the past where there was still a chance he could help his friends in his own way, and do NOTHING, is the most infuriating thing about this barely-polished turd of a movie.

IN CONCLUSION i said infinity war was the worst movie marvel had ever put out and marvel went “haha we can do you one better”

endgame is just three hours of setpiece, gag, setpiece, gag, setpiece, gag, occasionally punctuated with emotional moments that aren’t allowed to hang long enough for the emotion to sink in before a joke is made, usually at thor’s expense.

#avengers #endgame #endgame spoilers #endgame critical #endgame critique #infinity war critical #avengers endgame

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tempestaurora · 5 years

Text

endgame opinions

spoilers under the cut. i’ve opened my dms so feel free to come and scream/yell/cry/whatever with me. this turned out really long because i start speculating half way through as well as talking about opinions.

let’s start with harley keener, my son, who was literally only in the movie for a second, at the fucking funeral. are you kidding me. and a lot of people don’t know what ty simpkins looks like now?? so even my friend didn’t know who he was until i started physically vibrating in my seat

HOWEVER, he and peter are in the same location, which totally opens up a plausible reason for them to know each other, become best friends/brothers/roommates at MIT

it’s sad that it was just him standing alone though, like no one stood with him, like his mother or anyone. that’s sad.

i wrote a harley keener infinity war fic so like,, feel free to read that to get the harley keener endgame feelings we DESERVE

aNYWAY, good film

i enjoyed it a lot for the most part, like i have so few complaints its unreal

it’s a genuinely funny film that didn’t feel like it was shoehorning in comedic relief, but like the movie was SUPPOSED to be lighter and funnier and drama was happening in between

i didn’t care for the ending in the slightest fuck that

i’m pissed about being lied to by the directors about a canon gay character. they sat up there on their high horses, congratulating themselves for a job well done for diversity, when it was just a fucking extra with no name, referring to a male partner twice. that’s it. you’re fucking kidding me if you think that’s diversity, if the russos truly think that was worth getting our hopes up for.

you know who could’ve been confirmed lgbt? valkyrie. steve. bucky. tony. (and no, tony appreciating steve’s ass doesn’t confirm our bi father, son and holy spirit on screen, unfortunately.)

that’s a fucking joke, russos. i hope they’re fucking ashamed of that.

(i really was watching that final bucky/steve scene and hoping for some hint of, it was always you, you know and got fucking nothing. i barely even ship stucky and i know that it should’ve been them)

the clint/natasha fight on vormir was the best scene, hands down. there’s no competition here. it was the best moment of the film, and despite my annoyance at the russos seeing that the audience didn’t appreciate gamora dying to further a man’s arc, and then fucking doing it again, i really did like that scene

i figured nat was gonna die but i didn’t think i’d actually be sad about it

as soon as they said they were going to vormir i knew the fight would happen and it lived up to every expectation and some

the barton home cold open was fantastic

why the ever loving FUCK was carol danvers so forcefully advertised to us?????? why were we told over and over and over that carol was gonna kill thanos, that she was gonna save the day, that the avengers literally had zero chance without her????? she had four minutes of screentime what the fuck

i appreciate her and peter’s interaction though that was cute and he was wrecked

the peter/tony reunion was cute af, glad they finally got their hug

also, i always wanted peter to call him tony but like that???? nah

side note, don’t remember in the slightest what rhodey and peter said as tony died because i was sitting there going, he’s not actually gonna die, obviously, that’s not gonna happen, they’re gonna make us think he will and then he’ll come back so i missed both their goodbyes

i know it was a 3 hour film but there was space for... more. there should’ve been more. where was rocket and groot’s reunion? where was bucky and steve’s?

where did valkyrie get a fucking pegasus from

bruce and hulk’s new system is hilarious but the fact that he dabbed pains me

bruce wielding the gauntlet was so incredibly left field i loved it, like no one guessed that he’d be the one to bring everyone back. no one

scott did great

i’m not sure if i can settle myself with this five year time jump for a whole host of reasons

1. do we have, officially, a new cassie lang actress? is our iconic abby ryder fortson leaving us for an older actress???

2. far from home takes place, supposedly, a week after endgame. it was one of the reasons i believed tony wouldn’t die, because it seems like a wholly upbeat film - and y’all saw his face at the funeral, he was fucking gone - and it’s even been confirmed to be lighter and funnier, so there better be some fucking low blow that takes peter out on the tony front (but did the writers/directors even know tony had died when they made the film? will it be ignored altogether?) back to the main point:

2a. it’s around the year 2023 and as soon as the entire world comes back, there’s a two week field trip to europe that peter and all his classmates have somehow paid for, signed permission slips for, and arranged, despite the fact that they’ve all been dead for five years. and i mean all. literally the entire main cast of spiderman is still in peter’s class, they haven’t grown up and moved on. the entire fucking cast got dusted.

3. we didn’t really get to see tony and steve make up??? they kinda just brushed over everything

i almost cried seeing ned leeds and peter reunite

okay now the biggies:

i’m Not Okay with tony stark dying

i’m not

it’s not just that he’s my favourite character and i care about him above all others, it’s that his entire arc has been about first, accountability, and second, leaving the fight. yes, it’s also got a lot of heart motifs and mentions of sacrifice too. i understand that. but tony has been wrestling with his father’s legacy and the kind of father he’ll be since day one.

he deserved his happy ending.

not just five years. not just a daughter who will know OF him but not know him, who’ll forget the short time of memories she has in due course. he deserved to grow old with his daughter and his wife and the kid whose photo he placed on the shelf in the kitchen, where he could see it every day.

he does deserve rest. but he deserves the kind of rest where he’s alive.

i have said before that if tony stark dies, i stop watching the mcu, and tbh, might actually go through with it. i don’t know if i really want to watch the films, knowing he’s gone? (and that they could’ve used either the time stone, or, you know, their time travel machine, to go two weeks back, grab that tony and bring him into the present. say, hey, you died, but now you can keep living.)

and steve.

oh steve.

i love steve rogers, i do. i absolutely adore steve rogers. but i’m about the same level of angry about his ending as i am about tony’s.

and honestly? it’s only because it’s not him. it’s not the him we know. my friend said that cap went and settled down because he’d finally learnt the lesson tony had been teaching; that maybe there is a reason to set down the shield and live a quiet, good life. but i don’t like it. it opens time anomalies, inconsistencies. it doesn’t feel like him.

since cap came into the 21st century, his story line has had a motif of moving on. about getting with the times, learning new music, new references, finding old friends and having to decide whether he should hold onto them and risk what he has now, or let them go. he’s been staring at a photo of peggy carter since 2011, he made peace with her life when he visited her in hospital, he let her go when she died. he watched her, through her office window, be director of shield, knowing she was about to have a life that she loved. she has children, a family.

it doesn’t feel like the steve rogers i know to take that away from her

but at the same time, i understand that sometimes, he should get to be a little selfish. he was selfish when it came to protecting bucky over all else, and it ended with mixed results.

i loved the final scene, of he and peggy dancing and kissing, but i think i would’ve loved that scene just as much, if not more, if it had happened in the afterlife. with an about time from peggy.

on the same subject: bucky and sam.

i’m super happy with sam being the next captain america (does this mean we’ve been lied to about the whole falcon and winter soldier tv show? is it actually a captain america and winter soldier show?)

i think bucky knew what steve’s plans were, though it would’ve been nice to have some on-screen confirmation. i think that’s why he seemed relieved that steve was sitting on the bench; he knew what steve was going to do and was glad he’d lived long enough to pass the torch once and for all

HOWEVER, the time anomalies i mentioned:

peggy carter’s established timeline is broken

does sharon carter exist? if yes, does this timeline’s steve rogers still make out with her

if steve goes into the past, the steve that he already was and his whole existence in the 21st century will still happen. that means he’ll look for peggy. that means he’ll find her. with him. in the future/present. steve is therefore made aware of the future - would that then effect how he acts with civil war/infinity war etc? would that then erase the events that happened, limiting steve from going back?

does he tell anyone that hydra is in shield

does he get bucky the fuck out of hydra or does he let his best friend be tortured for 70 years

i think bucky should’ve been a part of the sam/captain america torch conversation. if only because steve’s narrative has focused around bucky since 2011 and it ends with a don’t do anything stupid while i’m gone / you’re taking all the stupid with you - that’s not a satisfactory ending lads

much of me thinks steve and tony’s outcomes should’ve been switched. tony wants a quiet life, steve has said many times that he can’t imagine giving up the fight, living as a civilian in obscurity. i think it’s a cruel way to end it.

plus steve is ALWAYS the one making speeches about sacrifice, but he’s never the one to actually make the sacrifice. it’s always tony.

i’m happy for steve, i am.

i think i’d just be happier if morgan could grow up with her father and if pepper wasn’t a single parent and peter didn’t have to navigate the rest of his life - super powered and not - alone

side note, far from home taking place a week after endgame: nick fury wasted no fucking time jumping on spiderman. like, tony absolutely protected him from fury before infinity war, and the dude’s barely buried and fury’s making his move on peter - not cool

anyway, i genuinely did enjoy the film. i find it incredibly difficult to believe this was shot immediately after infinity war because the tone is so different, and i was remembering all those photos we had from reshoots and realised none of those scenes made it in the final cut.

it was a good film. probably the most emotionally mature of the mcu. not my favourite. i’m angry about the ending. nebula should’ve killed thanos at least once. cool that gamora’s back. sad about nat. devastated about tony. happy for steve on the surface, until i spend 2 seconds looking deeper. loki’s probably alive because the timeline changed and they replaced the tesseract in 1970, not 2012, so officially, loki never goes to asgard jail anymore

but for real: how does steve replace the tesseract in the past when it’s now the space stone? how does he get that past anyone at all?

edit: I SOMEHOW forgot about rescue, the moment i’ve been waiting for for a decade

i love her, i love the suit, i love the pepper was incredibly badass with it with zero hesitation. i wish someone had said the name rescue like i wish someone had said captain marvel - but no dice. it’s such a rad suit and seeing her and tony fight side by side was so cool

edit 2 bc im a dumbass: CLINT MY ARROW BOY I LOVE YOU, YOU GOT ALL THE SCREENTIME U FUCKIN DESERVED

#endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #avengers endgame #marvel #mcu #bethany talks

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mcgregor · 5 years

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Random thoughts 1 day after watching Endgame - HEAVY SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

here we go

Don’t even know where to start ..

My girl Natasha ... One of my favorite characters. It broke my heart. And with the same soundtrack they used for Gamora in IW. + they really played with your emotions, is it gonna be Clint? Natasha? Clint again ?

she was so good in this movie though? She wanted to keep fighting, to find a solution, she was strong, and hopeful and confident in her and her family

Don’t know how to feel about Thor. I laughed a lot yeah, and I understand the whole desperation/guilt after what happened but oh man they killed a myth lol He did deserve better I think. Yes, he fought in the end, but that’s it ??

“on your left” GROSS SOBBING

the first scene was so well chosen ? Clint losing his family. I thought Jeremy Renner was so great in this movie

The first 15 minutes are so “WTF?!” you really don’t expect them to go to Thanos right at the beginning. All the trailers make sense afterwards though, finally, you get where they’re going with this movie

we all called the time traveling thing, but it was done so well, the different teams, going back to the first Avengers, to the first GOTG, to Thor 2 !

ALL THOSE REFERENCES TO PAST MOVIES AND CHARACTERS

I felt so bad for Nebula, even though I was pretty indifferent to her character before

Steve fighting himself ??? The wink to the famous elevator scene in TWS? Rumlow? Pierce ? Be still my heart

STEVE’S ASS RECOGNIZED FOR THE NATIONAL TREASURE IT IS

I love when they all brainstormed in the Avengers HQ to find out when/where they should go back in time

STEVE THOR AND TONY FACING THANOS

Thor talking to his mom ♥

Rhodey and Nebula watching Star Lord sing in his iconic entrance scene in GotG, rofl

Scott Lang is the best. Also yeah Giant Man !

The dusted coming back is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SCENE EVER

Steve standing up alone to face Thanos

STEVE WIELDING MJOLNIR AND BEING A FREAKING BOSS OMGGGGG

Also Thor’s little “I knew it” when it happens (nice throwback to that scene in AOU)

Professor Hulk though.. Don’t know how I feel about that either. It’s kind of sudden (even if for them 5 years passed)

Not a lot of Carol, but I didn’t mind. It is a movie about the OT6, it wouldn’t have make sense to have her throughout the entire movie. Love the new haircut though !

Didn’t really like when Tony lashed out at Steve in the beginning (RDj was great though). It’s understandable, considering everything that happened, yes, but saying “where were you??” and all humm he was right there, fighting too, and he lost people too

His death scene was so sad .. But I don’t know, it felt like a fitting end for his character/arc ? His fans must be crushed though

Little Morgan was adorable

The last battle scene is the most EPIC thing I have ever seen. It’s SPECTACULAR! Every freaking character is there

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

THE WOMEN TEAM UP ???!!! my heart

Wanda being the true badass she is, GO GIRL

finaly Thanos is dead, omg, I thought, it’d never come lol

there’s a brief Steve/Bucky scene so I’m happy

And Steve ... Oh Steve .. Maybe it’s too soon. But I really don’t know how to feel about his ending. It’s very bittersweet. When you love a character, you don’t want to know how his life will end, you want him to live forever and to have adventures forever. Knowing how it all ends in canon is so hard. It’s the end you know ? The real end.

(I saw a lot of people complaining about his ending and all the comes from him staying in the past. To be honest, when you watch the movie, you don’t really think about all the consequences of him staying to live his life with Peggy. Plus, he comes back. I saw it more as if he went to a different timeline, and came back to our present one at the end)

YES for Sam taking the Captain America mantle! YES YES YES

no post credit scenes, it’s really an ending ;_; (edit: apparenty you can hear something at the end, but I personally didn’t hear anything, must be faint)

The credits were beautiful though, I thought I was done crying and then we got to our 6 main actors, oh man ...

#Avengers Endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #spoilers #maybe i'll add more afterwards

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skywalkersapprentice · 5 years

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so when I saw infinity war the second time, i brought a pen and a notebook with me and took notes in the dark the whole time. for my second endgame viewing yesterday, i did the same. i now present to you my Thoughts About Endgame. (this is. long.)

Major Spoilers Ahead.

okay seriously, nobody called clint up when there was a giant invasion in wakanda??? nobody???

also it was daytime in wakanda when the snap happened. it’s also daytime wherever clint is in america when the snap happens. someone explain.

god the dawning panic when clint realizes his family is gone. that whole scene is so empty and unsettling, it was shot really well

i automatically associate 80s music with space thanks to marvel.

tony stark adopting strays everywhere he goes since 2013.... i love this about him

nebula finally got to win something!!!! “it was fun.”

and then she gives him their final ration. i’m- :((((

back on earth..... thank god the beard is gone.

“I lost the kid” tony’s face wow that’s devastating, no thanks

“Is um...” what was tony going to say after that??

“I thought you were a build-a-bear.” “Maybe I am.” fuckign.... tony please sdfgdfg

“And I needed you.” tony :(((

“No trust. Liar.” this entire scene is just. chilling. heartbreaking. tony has nothing left for anyone, and especially nothing left for steve, except-

him ripping the metaphorical heart out of his chest and handing it to steve made me literally gasp the first time i watched this film. i feel like it hasn’t been talked about enough, but it’s incredibly poetic.

“where are you going?” “to kill thanos” i haven’t seen captain marvel but i’m already in love with carol danvers

and now they have hope, they still think they can bring everyone back... what a dangerous thing

suddenly steve is looking at his locket of peggy all the time.starting in this film only. can we let him grieve for his actual friends?? you know, the ones he just lost? does he even mention sam or bucky in the entire film? alright russos, i have several bones to pick with you about this, but alright....

i gotta say, when i first watched this i was astounded that thanos destroyed the stones and then got beheaded in the first twenty minutes. it really left me wondering, well- what now? and that was exciting.

five years later. i mean, we knew there would be a time jump, but i wasn’t expecting this.

we’re really calling this cameo by russo representation huh

lol

and like??? steve brings up nobody he lost in the snap, instead chosing to focus on “the love of his life” that he met and lost in 1945. this struck me as odd the first time i watched and now i’m like. man they’re really trying 2 justify their later decision, huh

so they’re calling those who were snapped “The Vanished” according to the sanfran memorial

avengers r still a thing and their complex has actually grown in size?? who is funding this. is it tony

my next note just says HAIR SDFDSDFG aka heLLO carol danvers

nat :((((

crying and eating a sandwich is a mood

god. the quiet grief

natasha romanoff has come such a long way from her introduction in iron man 2. she cries freely, loves her family, actively wants to be a better person, even if a lot of her family isn’t around today. i just- love her so much.

“we both need to get a life.” “you first.” goddamnit

i.... love happy, peaceful, good dad Tony Stark, so much.

“define lunch or be disintegrated” morgan h stark is so cute

“you like going in the garage, huh? so does daddy.” tony was already so proud of her god i just :((((

me, zooming in on nat: ARROW NECKLACE

does she only wear that when she’s missing clint, or

I’m truly in my feelings about Tony being The Best Dad

Bruce apparently spent 18 months in a gamma lab, which is interesting.

god the scene with the kids asking for a selfie was so cringe are you telling me they could include this but steve couldn’t mourn for his friends

tony does dishes now. a true housedad.

that’s!!!! his first son!!!!!! :((((((

can you believe it was peter parker who pushed tony to invent time travel

“i’ve got something on my mind.” “is it juice pops?” i’m just thinking now about how howard most definitely would have sent tony straight to bed, but tony lets morgan stay up and eat juice pops with him. this is just. straight up great content.

“I love you 3000″ can you just. his face when she says that. also i’m never getting over that phrase ever

“I can stop,” Tony says, on the brink of inventing time travel.

“But would you be able to rest?” says Pepper, who has been trying and failing to get him to stop for a good 15 years.

the parallels between this and her last words to tony. ouch.

this is such a good and steady relationship now :(.

sdfgfdfg why is steve dressing like he’s from the 40s again is this a visual sign of his regression

god they did thor so dirty in this film. not with his character- him falling into great depression and having ptsd is not a bad thing, but treating it like a joke is. the audience is invited to laugh at him. Bad.

thor threatening “noobmaster69″ over the headset for his rock friend is very funny though.

hey tokyo looks alright compared to a lot of america.

every single clintasha scene in this film kills the man.

also everyone knows thanos’s name. i assume that means the world knows why everyone disappeared.

“you’re only a genius on earth” yeah but who invented time travel, rocket

rhodey wanting to straight up murder baby thanos is hilarious

the explanations of time travel in this film give me a headache

“TIME HEIST BRAINSTORMING SESSION”

bruce, nat and tony all laying around throwing ideas back and forth.... this movie is valid sometimes

“see you in a minute,” natasha says, and she’s smiling.

this is her family you guys :(((((

NEW YORK 2012

MY FAVOURITE SCENE

omg bruce making such a halfhearted attempt at smashing things please i love

okay cut to 2013 Asgard, and Thor sneaks right by his currently dead brother without even looking at him. this movie confuses me

fuck the scene where rocket slaps thor for having a panic attack. i’m glad thor ended up abandoning him.

okay so everything important happens between 2012-2014

cap/tony/scott, clintasha, nebula/rhodey.... these are such ideal teamups

“we’re a long way from budapest” give me my clintasha movie, marvel!!!

okay back in 2012, HOW did JARVIS not register the fact that there were two steves and two tonys in Stark Tower

god this entire scene is fucking hilarious the entire mcu was worth everything for the 2012 time travel scene

fuckign.... loki

ELEVATOR SCENE

as a cap 2 stan i feel so validated

HA IL HYDRA

WHEN I SAY I GASPED IN DELIGHT

CAP VS CAP

“I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY”

“YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW”

sadfgfdfg are u really telling me that cap takes the peggy locket everywhere

BUCKY IS ALIVE

THAT IS AMERICAS ASS SDFGFSDF PLEASE

2012 avengers best avengers

meanwhile the sorcerer lady is giving bruce a time travel lesson and i didn’t understand any of it but basically each reality requires six stones in order to not be torn apart by the forces of darkness? ??

I’m just glad thor got some kind of closure by talking to his mom

side note you can definitely tell that frigga raised loki

“EAT A SALAD”

“i’m still worthy” asdfgfdf yeah but now this timeline thor has no hammer!!!

QUILL SDFGFDSDFGHFDS

this movie is so entertaining

i live for nebula and rhodey just judging everyone

so do the guardians just.... not happen in the 2014 timeline?

gamora is ready to Fight thanos when the maw threatens nebula

was that young alexander pierce headed underground in 1970?

bone 2 pick with this whole time travel thing

thor got closure by talking to his mom

tony got closure by talking to his dad

steve saw peggy working, successful and thriving, through a window. closure where????

he should have gotten a chance to talk to her and received closure that way.

hank pym is an asshole but i guess we already knew that

“my wife is expecting” so tony was born 1970/1971 ig

howard’s dad beat him with a belt. i suppose every stark does a little better parenting-wise

Jarvis!!!!!!! agent carter is canon!!!!

vormir oh god here we go

“under different circumstances, this would be totally awesome” i’m inclined to agree with clint

this part goddamit

handholding :((((

my next note just says “aveng ers 1 paralels fu k”

the way this was filmed was beautiful. the colours, the lighting, the acting, the dialogue, the parallels to the first clintasha fight in avengers 1..... if natasha had to die, this was.... a good death, i think.

“damn you!”

“it’s okay.”

clint is begging her this hurts so much :(((

god. tears.

clint just sobbing in the water with the soul stone in his hand hits some kind of way

where is natasha’s funeral, huh??? why does steve shed like one (1) tear?

also why does the gauntlet need to physically be snapped like what does that dO

i just realized that thor’s fake eye is amber.

Infinity Stones:

almost killed thanos after 2 uses

destroyed bruce’s arm

killed tony

imagine an alternate scene where all six original avengers survived until this point and all of them held one stone as they snapped thanos’s army out of existence. that would have been the ultimate fanservice and i would have astral projected. anyway we’re getting off topic

“don’t change anything from the last five years.” what tony means is “please don’t erase my daughter”.

SNAP

yay they did it except-

how did everyone survive thanos blowing up the avengers compound

2014 gamora sounds just- slightly different than 2018 gamora. a little harsher. the guardians haven’t yet softened her edges.

“we become sisters” and suddenly gamora has hope

i- did that lightning just braid thor’s hair sdfgdsdfgh

this is a harsher thanos. thanos who died in 2018 had been changed. weakened, maybe.

thor, cap and tony fought in avengers one. now, they’re fighting thanos together.

l just. love that clint has a sword now.

“he won’t let me” nebula.... :(((((( and she dies crying

i have a note here that says “thor’s lightning + tony = c o o l”

STEVE WITH MJOLNIR

ASDFGFSDF FUCK THIS WAS WORTH EVERYTHING MARVEL HAS EVER PUT ME THROUGH

LIGHTNING POWERS

i LIVE

oooh it’s personal for thanos now

YOUR

LEFT

the portals scene fUCK

this is just. worth it. on every level.

PETER AND TONY

“this is nice” please :((((((

poor peter quill gets snapped, gamora’s loss fresh in his mind, then he thinks he’s gotten her back and she’s not the gamora he knew. ouch.

tell me why everyone but steve gets a reunion scene lol

peter introducing himself to everyone!!!! he’s so sweet.

CAPTAIN MARVEL HAS ARRIVED

i’m gay. oh my god.

hhhhgn hair

GIRLS

this is fanservice!!! as in, i am a fan and i feel fuckign SERVICED

thor duel welding mjolnir and stormbreaker is AWESOME.

strange holds up one finger. tony gives a look of heartbreaking acceptance.

god. tony stark, you brave, brave man. he knew he wasn’t going to survive this one.

“I am inevitable.”

“I. am. Iron Man.”

SNAP (2)

you lose, thanos.

but also, i lose, because oh god tony.

peter :(((

“Mr Stark!”

“Sir!!”

“Tony!!”

oh. fuck.

“you can rest now” do you SEE the parallels to the earlier conversation between tony and pepper :(((

the arc reactor going out physically broke me

i didn’t take many notes after this because i was literally sobbing lol

“I love you 3000″ stabs me again

“proof that tony stark has a heart” yes well my heart is breaking

happy :((( is morgan’s jarvis :(((((

Queen!!!! Valkyrie!!!

this dick measuring contest between Quill and Thor got old five hours of content ago.

:))))) rage time :))))))

bruce tried to bring back nat with the snap :(((

oh god bucky.

his face!!!!! his voice!!!! he’s trying to be strong and find but he looks dead inside

i just- fuck. he knew and he let steve go.

why did he show up on that bench i don’t understand

“I’m happy for you” are you telling me sam wasn’t the least bit hurt or mad

the ONLY good thing about this is Captain Sam

fuck steve tho

what year is this dance in

i mean. it’s sweet. but this is not steve.

I think i’ve talked enough about my dislike of the direction steve’s character went in in this film. that was the major point of dislike for me, but given that the council has made a stupid ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it. i understand that both tony and steve had to make their exist from the franchise here, but.... there were better ways to go about that.

i think a few different relationships slipped through the cracks here- characters suddenly grieving people they haven’t seen in /years/ and completely ignoring others who only recently died was a big one for me. but other characters saw a lot of development- nebula was a favourite of mine in this film, which i was not expecting! she and rhodey made a really good team- i feel like they understand one another.

the Original Six all saw a decent amount of screen time, which i appreciated. nobody got left behind there. there were so many references to other films that i know i didn’t catch them all, but it really made this movie seem like a love letter to the fans.

i want to make it clear that i actually loved most of this film. i think it was a good send off for the avengers and i love a good time travel plot (like, it’s one of my all-time favourite tropes. i was vibrating with excitement in the theater during the 2012 scenes.) i went in expecting a lot of the emotion to be sidelined in favor of plot and action, and while that happened a little bit, i was overall pleasantly surprised with the amount of emotion that they fit into this film. characterization and emotion is perhaps even more important to me than a good plot, and this film got the emotion down.

it’s definitely not a perfect film but it could have been so much worse, so i’m grateful that we got a good sendoff for the avengers.

7/10.

#endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #marvel #spoilers #shelby reviews movies #it took me two hours to write this out bye

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everydreamtilldawn · 5 years

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Endgame Thoughts *Spoilers obviously and a whole lot of venting*

OK Endgame, here we go! The absolute disrespect to the audience, the actors, the characters, and all the other creators who put so much work and care into building characters and stories for the other movies and shows which led up Infinity War and Endgame. The Russos are so far up their own asses with how good they think they are. I'm so done with their pure spoiler free excuses. Not letting actors know what scenes they're in, who they're with - wasting oscar winning actors on their own bloated egos insisting adults can't be trusted not to cause a PR scandal over their fanfic. Those assholes put themselves into the canon as "the first canon gay character". Oh, Mr. Unnamed Guy 32 is the first gay character out of all these hundreds of people on screen? Oh Mr. Russo well we all better get on our knees and kiss your gay dick in thanks then you ass faced worthless shit for brain. What a fucking insult. Who has the actual nerve? Who actually has an ego so big they don't actually see the lgbt community and their issues as something to take seriously within their narrative - its like their heads have been under a rock the past few years thinking of only their wonderful, unbeatable movie that they have no idea gay people are main characters now and have their own movies elsewhere in the world. We're not nameless, background characters you dicks. The fact that 10 years led up to this is like spitting in the face of your audience and telling them exactly how little you actually care about them except for their money. Every bit of Endgame highlighted and emphasized the flaws that was the monstrosity that was Infinity War. Starting there - I will never get over the fact that the end battle of Endgame so clearly shows how awful the previous movie was. I think I've told you all the problems I have with IW before but to emphasize again - the "we don't trade lives" concept is still something I'm furious over. The fact that grand old captain america wasn't willing to kill Vision for the UNIVERSE but was ok with a few hundred Wakandan's dying for Vision to maybe live? Bullshit. AND that final battle? WTF so we're supposed to believe that in the... five?... ten minutes? after being snapped back to life all those people got off their asses? I can't even. They expect us to believe that when you put all those geniuses, warriors, battle proven tacticions, strategists and spies in a room that they still make all those obvious mistakes when they know the UNIVERSE is at stake? Where was that army of sorcerers in battle one? Why did Wong or whatever his name is really HAVE to protect that one sanctum even knowing the fate of the UNIVERSE was at stake? They had hours to plan. HOURS. If not days?!?!?!?!?! They went to different countries, they had time to sit and plan. They had time to call in the world's resources to prepare, to gather armies. Instead they fought with Wakanda and a handful of superheroes - why??? They literally knew the stakes, the only reason they didn't have the huge army battle scene in Infinity War is because Marvel wanted another movie. They wanted to make billions on Endgame cause they knew audiences would come back if they shock value killed half the universe and then brought them back for battle two but uhhhhhhh.... On your left was a great badass scene and all. But they had max like ten minutes to gather forces who legit just came back to life. Who sent out that distress call btw? Why did all these people NOW have a plan of attack and were gathered in preparation to fight?

Was it badass? Was the shot of Captain America alone against an entire army not iconic? OF COURSE. I loved that scene. I loved the women gathering around Peter and racing to fight against the army as one. It was legendary. There were some really funny, badass, and wonderful moments. But it was a bad story. It was bad writing. Working my way down from character murders that least upset me to most. Black Widow. She finally came to life in this movie. She was a leader, she had emotions, she was more than a catsuit, a sexy smile and a witty comment. I adored her. I despise her death. I hated that in the end she was still another pretty face lying sexily at the bottom of a pit for the life and will of a man. I’m half okay with her death, because it was almost justified. In this story where she was finally a fully-fledged and fleshed out person – she had wants and goals and those centered around protecting her family. The character she was in this movie didn’t even begin to exist until Endgame and it’s a tragedy that she was murdered before she even reached her full potential. But she did want to sacrifice herself so the universe could live again. She wanted Clint to go back to his family. She wanted to give her life for the only thing she loved. BUT Clint was the true perfect mirror for this narrative. Thanos sacrificing Gamora will never be okay. Gamora said it herself – that wasn’t love. That was glorifying abuse. Thanos never should have been given the soul stone under the ridiculous and unclear rules of the soul stone. Honestly, I’d believe Red Skull is just fucking with everybody at this point with how ridiculous those rules are. No way is what Thanos did love. I will come back to the Russos glorifying and being okay with child abusers when I get to Tony and his father. Clint would have been the mirror to Thanos in that moment. Instead of a father killing his daughter, it would have been a father dying for his daughter. His relationship to his daughter is even highlighted at the start of the movie and in his time travel moment. Clint hated who he’d become, he was ready and willing to sacrifice himself for his family and at that point he deserved it. As shown later with Tony – the theme of fathers sacrificing themselves is a relevant theme. So why Natasha in that moment. Why not the father? Why not the narrative mirror? Why the only woman on the team, the one who has grown to be a real person in the narrative and one who is now LITERALLY IMPORTANT TO THE STRUCTURE OF THE WHOLE WORLD AND THE UNIVERSE? She became the leader of the Avengers and expanded their reach across galaxies by communicating and coordinating with Rocket, Nebula, and Carol. She had a world to rebuild by coming home. It’s not like they’re going to give Clint his own redemption movie where he makes up for his half assed arc to becoming his Ronin character arc. I’m half okay with it, but I also think it was the completely wrong choice of which character to sacrifice.

THOR. The insult to Taika Waititi. The insult to Thor, Thor: the Dark World, and Thor: Ragnarok. The insult to Thor the character. Hell, the reversal on Thor -2.0 from Infinity War. Years of movies, years of work building this character. Them saying that not only does Thor, who finally learned to be the God of Thunder without his hammer, who took up Odin’s role and finally accepted his place as King, needed to be.... fixed?!?!?! They gave him back his eye for starters which reverses the whole meaning of him losing it in the first place. Of assuming the role of Odin, of King, of being Thor. Then they give him the axe and then the HAMMER. Thor moved on. Thor accepted himself. Thor in Ragnarok is proven to be stronger without the hammer than he was with it. Giving him the axe, making him obsessed with getting his hammer back, reverses three movie of character development. AND THEN. Making him FAT. Making him STUPID. Making him threaten children, abandon his people, abandon his duty, fall into a depression completely unlike his character who is a hardened warrior with deep emotional depth and understanding – a fucking soft hearted genius in his own right who was able to easily give forgiveness to Gamora and understanding that being the daughter of an abusive monster isn’t her fault. They have the audacity to spend a whole movie making fat jokes about him and decide to reverse him back ten year’s worth of character development. Oh hardy har, we’re such good writers. We understand posttraumatic stress and the mindset of heroes – look he’s drinking beer, and an alcoholic, and eat a salad you fat fucks. WTF. It wasn’t funny. It was mean. It was unnecessary. It was out of character like the Russos came up with it high on crack and refused to let it go. Thank god Chris H is a good enough actor not to show how insulting it must have been to have his character be paraded around in bad cgi and treated like he’s an idiot. Did the Russos not watch the other movies in the canon? Did they not care that Thor had become this deeply complex character who loved his people, would do anything for them, was ready to be King and lead – NO I guess they just don’t care. Like everyone who sat on their asses during the battle in Wakanda. It would have been amazing for Thor to have gone back in time to see his mother as the true and worthy King at last, if his final arc had been around idk his apprehension at how to lead his people after failing them, after them dying down to a few hundred. Having everything he could have been overshadowed by the Russos need for a running joke the entire movie is so very insulting. It shows just how little they think of the audience’s intelligence.

CAPTAIN AMERICA. The insult to women’s agency. I truly at this point think the Russos are lying fucks who have no respect for women. They’re sexists assholes. The insult to the entire team of Agent Carter. The insult to Peggy fucking Carter, the most badass woman who built herself up, who built Shield, who moved on, who had a life, a husband, children, who died in peace and was put to rest. Nope. Forget about everything she did. The Russos plot line is more important. Steve Rogers started out the movie saying how important it was to move on, and what does he do? Not move on. Lets highlight the insult that throwing in “the first gay character” is when facing the cowardice of switching Steve Rogers from being so obsessed with protecting Bucky Barnes that he threw away the shield, became a fugitive, and left the family and team he’d built in the future to chase after Peggy Carter who he HAD MOVED ON FROM. He kissed that one random blonde girl he had no chemistry with. He said goodbye and buried Peggy. Peggy had a life, she was happy. Did she miss Steve? Was she sad he “died”? Yeah. But now she doesn’t get a choice between the future she could have had and the one where Steve buts in and I guess Bruce didn’t have a discussion with Steve about splitting the path of time into multiple realities cause the Russos decided to fuck their own established logic and leave Steve in a new version of the past – where almost all the infinity stones are returned in their non-original forms, loki is fucking off with the tesseract and Thanos/his entire army/and Gamora are all in the wrong time never to forge the original war in the first place? They didn’t put a single scene between Steve and Bucky reconciling the past few years, Bucky’s dusting or the fact Steve was gonna go and never come back after ALL THAT. After Winter Soldier and Civil War, Steve said fuck Bucky, fuck the avengers, fuck this future that doesn’t have Iron Man, I want to go dance with a woman who HAD A LIFE WITHOUT YOU YOU ASSHOLE. I was touched by the old man Steve returning to give Sam the shield. I thought it was wonderful, I cried a little. But what about Peggy? What about the timeline? What about the rules????? Fuck it, there’s a gay character now and Thor is fat, the rules don’t matter anymore I guess.

Tony Stark.... deserved better. He is the true, real hero. The only hero. I don’t care about anyone else. Excluding his own 3 movies and Homecoming, Tony’s character was done so wrong in the Avengers movies by the writers, the audience and the other characters. So many people wrote him off as the person he pretended to be instead of the person he was. They saw selfishness and ego instead of the amount of sacrifice, the effort he gave into making the world a better place. He was such a good person. He grew so much. He gave his life for a world that never loved him, but that he never stopped loving. Natasha and Tony were the only people with something left to lose, but they were the ones who sacrificed themselves for a cold, uncaring universe and they deserved better. Tony finally had everything he never thought he would deserve – a wife, a daughter, a peaceful life at rest. All his wars were finished. He had everything to lose and he went into the endgame with the one condition that he would not give up what he had gained. And still they killed him. It was the only acceptable death for a hero like Tony Stark, but that doesn’t mean he deserved it. That doesn’t mean his daughter grows up without her father. That doesn’t mean its okay for that abusive, negligent asshole that was Howard Stark to get a last hoorah and be “redeemed” by a final conversation with his son. No. Tony had multiple arc, multiple points in his life where he had to rise above Howard and all that Howard stood for, all the ways Howard had hurt him and held him back. He was better than his father – going to be a better father than his father. Thanos and Howard will never, ever be men who should be looked upon as having loved their children enough for them to die in exchange for the greater good. It was so very satisfying for Tony to finally have it out at Steve for everything and I wish that scene had been longer. Tony deserved to live.

Final points. The timeline stuff, again, was bs. They insisted on not messing it up and still they messed up everything. The greater implications of all that is... astoundingly idiotic. Along with, why not just have Tony’s life ending snap send Thanos right back to the past along with the infinity stones to their rightful places and memories erased? If the infinity stones can do anything, such as kill half the universe, why not correct the flaws of the plot? I thought it was stupid that the only reason the time heist failed was because Nebula didn’t think about mind melding with her past self. The fact that’s even a thing... that happened. Really. The whole movie shouldn’t have existed let alone be three hours. They set such a great tone with the opening scene. It was tragic and heart wrenching and then seeing Natasha finally realized and the world broken. I can forgive dues-rat-machina bring Scott back cause I love Scott, but the time heist threw out all the tension. I didn’t feel the stakes, I felt like they stepped sideways into a whole different genre. That middle plot didn’t feel like a movie worth ending an era on. It felt cheesy and underdeveloped. Again – they had forever to plan. There was no time limit pushing them to go to the past immediately. They could have taken the time to think this out, cover every possible option – and they did. They’re shown doing that. So how, for the second time in these two movies, do these brilliant geniuses, tacticians and strategists believably fail to predict the outcome. And uhhhhhh did snapping all those people back account for the post snap casualties? Cause we saw helicopters flying into buildings, cars crashing, we were told that wars broke out and people went kinda crazy as they had a right to. The snap resulted in post snap causalities by the billions across the universe – had to have. So did all those people come back? What happens to the people who moved on and now have a 5 years younger mother/father/sister/brother/friend/loved one/wife/husband/etc to deal with who just blinked and suddenly half the people they care about are now five years older and the whole world is different? The sheer amount of housing and food crises that are about to begin post “snap 2: the snappening” are insane. And I get that its no fun to think about that in the fun of a big super hero battle and all that. But next movie will probably have zero mention of all that as shown by Peter’s entire class just moseying along on a European vacation in the next Spiderman. So Peter’s entire class got snapped, came back, and went on with their lives? The rest of the world’s infrastructure repaired itself in the time frame of Peter still being in High School? Yeah, right. But still – the fact that there’s an hour and a half of the movie that pauses all the tension and drama to be a comedy is just... whatever fine. It was funny. It was kinda cool, but it didn’t belong and it wasn’t necessary. Ok, I think I’m done.

#Avengers #Marvel #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #tony stark #natasha romanoff #thor #language warning #I say a lot of bad words and unkind things kiddo #you've been warned #Its been a few days and I'm still filled with rage #I did like a lot of parts of the movie #but I also hated a lot of the movie

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briangroth27 · 5 years

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Avengers Endgame Review

I absolutely loved Avengers Endgame! I was a little skeptical at first—there are still solo stories I want to see with some of the characters we're saying goodbye too and I'd prefer those to Avengers movies, honestly—but everyone behind this film really pulled it off. The pre-release hype did get to me eventually though and by the time the movie opened, I was absolutely pumped. I left the theater nearly completely satisfied and I definitely felt the weight of a decade of stories coming to an end with this film. Had this been the end of the MCU, it would’ve been a great one.

Full Spoilers...

I thought they did an excellent job of wrapping up the cliffhangers left by Infinity War as well as providing closure and a worthy conclusion to this era of the MCU. Trading the bombastic fights of Infinity War for really solid character work and interactions here (and swapping focus on Thanos (Josh Brolin) out for focus on the heroes themselves) was perfect. Done the other way around, I feel like this would've been exhausting. Instead, while it did feel full, it was always engaging and entertaining and didn’t feel like it was three hours long. The pacing worked really well to keep things moving briskly even with an insane amount of characters to service. The direction and action were solid, and the writing felt totally in-character for an enormous cast, which was a feat unto itself.

My favorite Avenger is Captain America (Chris Evans) and I was extremely satisfied with how his story ended. I do wish we’d gotten a Captain America 4 where Steve faces the rising Nazism among everyday American citizens we’re seeing in the real world: the last test for his resolve would be to see whether he still wanted to represent ideals that the American people now only use as excuses for their hate. Can he carry on if he’s seemingly the only one who believes we can be better? I feel like that could be Chris Evans’ Logan. However, I was surprisingly content with this end to his story, especially once I realized he’d get to end up with Peggy (Hayley Atwell) after all (though I thought he was going to drop into the 70s instead of his original time). In hindsight I wish they hadn’t had Steve and Sharon Carter kiss, but I’m more than willing to deal with that awkwardness and sacrifice that bit of comics canon for Steve getting a happy ending with his best gal. I’m satisfied with either interpretation of Cap’s story: knowing that things have to turn out a certain way, I can see him not saying anything about the future and always having been Peggy’s cryptic, never-named husband (his comment to Nat (Scarlett Johansson) at the beginning of the movie also signals that he’s ready to stop fighting), or, that he immediately decided to shape a better century by saving Bucky early and then proceeded to kick Hydra out of SHIELD & continue saving the world alongside Peggy and Bucky. I can buy either resolution to his character arc and I really liked that they didn’t kill him in the end. If they want to use him more, they can, but if this is the end for Evans then he got a happy one and that’s perfect. I’m hoping he’ll show up as a mentor to Sam (Anthony Mackie), now that he’s the new Captain America (also the result I was hoping for: the mantle of Cap as Steve wore it is about fighting for more than making up for your past mistakes. Sam embodies that much better than Bucky (Sebastian Stan) would (and his fight scenes will be a whole lot more unique given he can fly)). Steve standing up against Thanos’ entire army by himself was perfect, finally getting to say “Avengers Assemble!” was great, and getting to wield Mjolnir was an outrageously fun sequence! I can see both sides of the “Cap was/wasn’t truly worthy in Ultron” argument, but again, I’m cool with either explanation: either Steve was on the cusp of worthiness but hiding Bucky’s complicity in the murder of Tony’s (Robert Downey Jr.) parents held him back, or he realized he could always lift it and is such a decent guy that he didn’t want to upstage Thor (Chris Hemsworth). I also liked the quieter moments with Steve, like finally patching things up with Tony, trying to get Natasha back into the world (just like she had done for him back in Winter Soldier)—I’ve always loved their friendship—and running a support group for everyday citizens in the wake of the Snap to help them move forward, even if he couldn’t (that was also a nice way for him to pick up what Sam was doing for veterans). It was fun to let Steve have moments of levity about himself too, like the “America’s ass” joke and his reaction to hearing “I can do this all day.”

There's only one major plot point I was disappointed in: Black Widow's death to get the Soul Stone. I'm glad that they had her fight for it (clarifying that it was her choice, given the circumstances, rather than a fridging) and going out to save the universe does put a significant cap on her (so far underwritten) quest to clear her Red Ledger. However, I've always felt there was more story to cover with her (the details of that Ledger for one thing, as well as her attempts to overcome her past crimes and her mental conditioning) and she's my second-favorite of the original six Avengers, so it hurt a lot to lose her. I was sitting there thinking “now we’ve had to lose both Nat and Gamora (Zoe Saldana) to this dumb Stone?” That was a less-than-great look. It was also a bummer to have a cool moment where all the female heroes protected Spidey (Tom Holland)...except Natasha. At least her death wasn’t used to give the guys license to get violent. I liked that they gave the Avengers’ reaction to her death significant time to breathe, even if she didn’t get the grand funeral Tony did. She might be the one who was closest to all of them (except Thor) and she deserved that moment of silence from her friends (Banner’s distraught “I tried to bring her back” to Steve was another great beat). I’m very excited for Widow’s (finally!) upcoming solo film, and I wonder if it will focus on the Natasha from the alternate universe Steve created (if that is what he did), rather than the one who just died. The MCU doesn’t tend to do prequels unless they’re introducing new characters, so a random Black Widow film, while welcome, seems like an odd choice if it’s an origin story like the rumors say. Maybe it’s the origin of that timeline’s Natasha, who can continue on in new adventures should Johansson want to (and why wouldn’t the MCU, given she’s the only actor of the original six who can successfully open a non-Avengers movie)? Maybe Steve and Peggy (given Peggy’s dealings with the Black Widow program on her own show) rescued their timeline’s Romanoff from the KGB before her Red Ledger started filling up. If we could see Nat struggling between her programming and the better life Steve and Peggy could show her before she’s done the horrible things she’s hinted at, that could be a very cool arc. Regardless, Steve’s the one I thought I would leave this movie wanting more from the most, but it was Natasha that I feel like the filmmakers left a lot of cards off the table for.

I loved Tony’s moments with Nebula (Karen Gillan) at the start of the film and hated that he still blamed Steve for not letting him build his “suit of armor” around the planet. His Five Years Later family (Gwyneth Paltrow, Alexandra Rabe) was really sweet and I really enjoyed his interactions with and protectiveness of them, bringing me back around on liking his character to an extent I haven’t felt since the first Avengers movie. I totally understood why he wouldn’t want to change the past and erase all of that (and I was very relieved to hear that, as I didn’t want the Snap undone). Moments like meeting his father (John Slattery) just before his younger self was born were more great character bits, especially after the tumultuous relationship the two of them had. I would’ve liked a little more balance between the Pym science, Banner’s intelligence, and Stark’s input rather than Stark essentially inventing the working time machine on his own, but oh well. While I didn’t want to see Tony Stark Saves the Universe, this win over Thanos felt like enough of a team effort that it didn’t bother me, and his last line to Thanos—“I am Iron Man”—was perfect. I could easily see him coming back in future films as an AI, but I’d rather not. I feel like they’ve explored everything there is to with his character (though admittedly I’m not well-versed in Iron Man lore) and it feels like the MCU has moved on from him; even moved beyond his level of technology. It felt right that this era of the MCU would bookend Stark’s life as well, and the writers and directors made me feel for him and feel his loss, which is impressive given I haven’t liked him in the vast majority of his appearances.

Thor's depression worked really well for me and while I didn’t recognize it when I saw the film, after hearing the complaints about fat-shaming from the other characters I understand the offense some viewers felt. It wasn’t the fact that he got fat that was the problem, it was the other characters mocking him for it, and I wish more consideration had been given to that situation rather than going for easy jokes. Otherwise, Thor dealing with the guilt of not killing Thanos—leading to the death of half the universe—was really well done. The fact that he couldn’t change anything even when the team tracked down Thanos, only to realize that the Snap couldn’t be undone, was a huge moment for him and Hemsworth played his depression and resulting sedentary lifestyle very well. I loved most of his conversation with Frigga (Rene Russo) (minus the “eat better” jokes) and the tearful moment where he realized he was still worthy of Mjolnir was perfect. I also appreciated that (as others have pointed out) he didn't magically get his fit body back when he reclaimed all his power and status (according to Wikipedia, this was Hemsworth’s idea and it’s a brilliant one). I feel like that would’ve been another insulting development (an “only attractive people can be useful heroes” sensibility) that they thankfully avoided. Sending him off with the (As)Guardians of the Galaxy is a brilliant move (particularly given the turn in his solo franchise to a Guardians aesthetic) and I loved the argument between him and Quill about who would be leader. I really hope he’s in Guardians 3!

Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk finally embracing Banner’s intelligence (and Bruce embracing the Hulk in return) was a great move and I’m so glad they finally found somewhere new to take his character, rather than the constant push and pull of Hulk and Banner hating each other. I would’ve preferred Banner accepting that the Hulk was part of his psyche and he has serious anger issues rather than him being some separate “other guy,” but this works too. It was a nice of pace to see people excited to meet Hulk, rather than everyone being afraid of him. I also liked Bruce and Tony reuniting as Science Bros to figure out how to use the Pym Particles to create a time travel heist. Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) is my least-favorite of the six original Avengers, and this didn’t do much to change my opinion. The Avengers have never been shy about killing their enemies, so Hawkeye going Ronin to kill criminals didn’t feel like such a huge a fall (though it is a troubling example of man-pain in the wake of the deaths of his wife (Linda Cardellini) and kids (Ava Russo, Cade Woodward, Ben Sakamoto), whose losses do feel like fridging. However, I do like the parallel of Nat going to retrieve him from his vendetta, just like he made the call not to kill her when they first met and she was the violent criminal. His moment with Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen) at the end was also a nice addition to their friendship.

Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang made for an excellent addition to the Avengers (and a great way to introduce the time travel capability), bringing levity to the proceedings with his off-kilter and genuinely sweet personality. Pushing time through him was a great sequence and I will always be happy for as much of this Ant-Man as we can get; these movies have made him a favorite of mine! I liked that they also let him get some drama out of the reunion with his now-five-years-older-daughter Cassie (Emma Fuhrmann) and I can’t wait to see more of how that relationship develops in the next Ant-Man and the Wasp film. I would have liked for Rocket (Bradley Cooper, Sean Gunn) and Rhodey (Don Cheadle) to get meatier roles here, but I understand that there’s only so much screentime.

Nebula’s development into an Avenger was a great arc, especially as things got complicated with her past self, and I think she’s my favorite Guardian after this. After all the torment and literal torture Thanos has put her through, it was awesome to see her stand up to her past self and help defeat him. I do think she totally knew what she was doing by sending Natasha and Clint to Vormir, and that’s a character moment I wish they had let play out onscreen. I’m glad that it was past-Nebula who played the role of villain here, rather than Nebula getting the gauntlet from her father and becoming the story’s real villain, like what happened in The Infinity Gauntlet. I’m excited to see her search for Gamora and help continue turning her life around in the next Guardians!

I wish they had explained what was going on with Thanos “in” the Soul Stone at the end of Infinity War (I was really hoping it was punishment for not making a real trade of love to get the Stone, since what he felt for Gamora was not love and should not have been cosmically confirmed as such), but ultimately I didn’t need any more of him than we got here. It was cool that his younger self knew he would die to see his quest for the Stones fulfilled, and so was set in his determination to meet that destiny because it also meant he’d win. Thanos brought a very impressive battle and unforgettable scale to our heroes’ lives, but ultimately I feel like he could’ve been entirely dealt with in just this and Infinity War. Outside of the familial ties introduced in the Guardians movies, there was nothing relevant about Thanos that we couldn’t have learned from just these two Avengers films if he’d shown up for the first time at the beginning of Infinity War (his being behind the attack on New York could’ve been a reveal to all of us, not just Tony and Bruce). The Stones arc went on too long and Thanos never felt really menacing until these last two appearances, making me bored with the whole plot at least halfway through if not sooner (Guardians itself calls the Stones meaningless MacGuffins). I hope the MCU doesn’t try to build decade-long (or even 5-year) stories out of its other villains to try and match this, because they don’t need to. Galactus, for example, doesn’t need build-up; just let him appear in all of his planet-eating glory as a new problem for the Avengers to team up and stop.

I really liked the movie’s fresh take on time travel: you can go back and change the past, but not in your own timeline (since the future you came from is now your past), and any changes you do make will result in a new timeline. That’s a cool way to preserve the events of the MCU while letting them go back and muck around with their history at the same time. I left the theater thinking that it’s possible to play this all as one timeline that didn’t branch at all if Kevin Feige and the rest of the MCU’s architects decide to. As I said, I can see Steve finally retiring to have a life of his own, saying nothing and knowing that things will turn out OK (though I really want to see him meet Red Skull (Ross Marquand) when he returned the Soul Stone!). The Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) could have helped him restore the Tesseract and Aether to their former states using the Time Stone (as someone else pointed out online). Loki’s (Tom Hiddleston) escape from Avengers Tower with the Tesseract and eventual recapture could be the entire basis of his upcoming Disney+ series, given we never knew SHIELD was even involved with his arrest at the end of the first Avengers. His brief escape could’ve always happened. Present-Nebula might not have killed Past-Nebula at all, given she’s an alien cyborg and her internal organs might work or even just be arranged differently than we’d expect. My initial read of the end of the battle was that Tony had sent Thanos’ army back in time and erased their memories via his Snap (since he didn’t want to change history), not that he killed them. I suppose Past-Gamora’s existence in the present after the battle is the only loose end that can’t be taken both ways. If they do want to create a whole lot of alternate timelines, that works too…especially since I feel like the next big event is going to be Secret Wars (the more recent one, not the original).

Regardless of the potential new Marvel Cinematic Multiverse, I hope they use the Snap to its fullest potential going forward. Not only would it be a global disaster to lose half the population, but bringing them all back would throw things into disarray all over again. Nations would have fallen, new regimes emerged (Latveria, anyone?), superheroes going to extremes to keep the peace, and super-villains turning over new leaves when they realized how petty their crimes were. The possibilities for interesting stories are endless! It should affect everything going forward, from Far From Home to the remaining TV shows and beyond. They’ve created a world where the events of the films can have a huge, undeniable impact on everything else, and they should honor that shared universe. The only thing the Snap shouldn’t result in is the creation of mutants, because that would remove their “we’re supposed to be here” argument and the connection to the real-world people they’re supposed to represent along with it.

There are too many awesome moments and character beats to list here, so here are a few off the top of my head that I loved. Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) getting to be the queen of New Asgard. Wasp (Evangeline Lilly) finally getting to team up with the Avengers. Wanda and Carol (Brie Larson) completely destroying Thanos at just about every turn. A much better use of Captain America saying “Hail Hydra” than in the comics. Time travel allowing them to not only revisit some of their greatest hits, but to bring back many of the actors who appeared later, forming a more tightly-knit world. Tony and Peter’s farewell. Black Widow becoming the leader of the Avengers. Hulk holding up the Avengers facility like the mountain in the original Secret Wars. James D’Arcy as Jarvis, finally getting to break the TV/movie barrier as the first TV-original MCU character to appear in the movies (go watch Agent Carter; it’s fantastic!). Stan Lee’s last cameo happening in this film, which just feels right. Cap/Iron Man/Thor vs. Thanos. Everyone vs. Thanos.

This was definitely a worthy conclusion to this era of the MCU. I’m really glad that they resisted the urge to tease what’s next by omitting any post-credit scenes or tags on the end of the film. The only thing at the end of the credits—the sound of Tony making the Iron Man suit from his first film—was the perfect touch. Let things rest for now. The massive credit sequence with all of the stars getting their own card was great, and I liked the page they took out of Star Trek VI's book (having the original six Avengers sign their names onscreen) too. That was classy.

There are a few lingering questions about just what timelines might have been created (or not), but nothing that hurt the experience of the movie for me. There are more stories I wish we could be seeing with Cap and Widow, but that would likely always be the case no matter when they retired. Regardless, the filmmakers had a lot to wrap up and to do so to the extent that they did is truly impressive. The actors were all at the top of their game with a lot of really good material to work with, making this an excellent and supremely emotionally satisfying movie! I can’t wait to watch it again when I get it on home video!

I'd give it an A(vengers)!

#avengers #endgame #avengers endgame #mcu

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ugh-really-why · 5 years

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Endgame review that is really more of a Rant then anything else because Fuck you Marvel.

Disclaimer: I hate pretty much everything about this movie and am still pissed enough that there is going to be a lot of cussing. Also, this is going to contain spoilers.

Let’s start with the character that I had the most hope for walking into this movie. Tony fucking Stank. I read the spoilers so I knew that he was going to get a heroic death. I also knew that he hesitated to save the world because he got his happy ending.

I didn’t realize how much I would hate him for every word that came out of his mouth. Tony Stank really doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He gets his happily ever after so fuck everyone else. Oh and he’s guilty over losing Peter so he’s going to blame everyone else even though he’s the one that split up the Avengers by locking up half of them in an underwater prison. He’s the one that had a way to contact Steve, knew about the attack because of Bruce, but was too petty to make the damn phone call. But nope it’s all Steve’s fault that he decided to go to Titan and fight Thanos there instead of regrouping with everyone else. He fucked up, but Tony can’t admit that so it’s on everyone else. Piece of shit.

then Scott comes back five years later with an idea, but nope Tony can’t help save everyone because he’s got his precious little girl. Fuck everyone else who lost their families. At least the picture of Peter and him exists because otherwise, he wouldn’t have done shit. Oh and he insists that they keep the five years since the snap intact meaning that he’s robbing half the universe of five years of life because why the fuck not? Alright, I get him not wanting to lose his baby girl but I also don’t care because fuck him, fuck him so badly for not giving a shit about any of the other people in the universe. He’s such shit. Like honestly the only decent thing he does is die, oh and his conversation with Howard was interesting because it proves that Howard never physically abused Tony. Sorry stans, guess you can’t use that as an excuse anymore.

Now the character that I love the most who was screwed... Steve. God, he’s fucking pathetic in this movie. Like where the fuck was his obsession with Peggy in any other movie that he was in? Where the fuck was it because this movie implied that it had been something that he had been holding onto for the fourteen (okay thirteen years) that he had been in the future, even though on screen we saw him moving on... No, he’s been carrying that stupid ass compass around with him since he woke up from the ice, just didn’t have a reason to pull it out until Endgame. Such fucking bullshit. He’s so damn pathetic when it comes to her in this movie. Not that she’s much better... Still having a torch for him in 1970 after he had been dead for 30 years. Super fucking pathetic. Like omg, they knew each other for a max of two years, kissed once, and had like five total conversations. But nope the love of his life, poor Sharon she was completely screwed. (I am so going to write out a fic where Steve goes back to the love of his life and finds out that she’s a pale comparison to the actual love of his life). Honestly, if you wanted a Steve that was hung up on Peggy still, having him move on was stupid, and this should have been set up in the previous movies instead of feeling completely out of the blue. Oh and as everyone else already has said, his ending completely ruins a lot of the great lines from the previous cap movies, such as his conversation about a situation going south, or the price of freedom. And it completely invalidates his relationship with Bucky, which was already kind of ruined in canon by Civil War. They owed the characters so much more. Oh, and they had to fuck over Steve’s other best friend. Like honestly, fuck you for what you did to Sam and Steve’s relationship. Just fuck you, Russos. I did like Sam getting the shield (course the question becomes how? because it was destroyed in the battle with Thanos, but who cares about that?) Oh and what happened to Mjolnir? because Steve was traveling with it to return the stones. Like the whole can’t move past the forties shtick is so boring and so old.

Course for Steve to still be stuck on Peggy they had to ruin her. I can’t get over the disgust I feel for a woman that married another man, had children with him, to still be into a crush she had at 19... when she’s in her 50′s. it’s all kinds of gross. And sure I adore stories about sweethearts finding each other after a long time, but not when they are in committed relationships with other people. We all knew Agent Carter wasn’t worth anything to the MCU but this proves it.

Bruce was just fucking annoying. Granted, I am not super fond of Banner in general, but Professor Hulk was cringe and annoying and no thanks. I swear I wanted someone to punch him every time he opened his mouth. The only time he was not incredibly annoying was when he talked about Natasha, course they played up the romantic angle for the two of them without ever addressing the issue of him ditching her for years. Like he still held a torch even though everything about the relationship was fail.

Thor was just sad. He’s an alcoholic that has lost all confidence in himself, gained a ton of weight, something that is mocked throughout the movie and is afraid to fight. Until he talks with Frigga (not gonna lie that was a cool scene) but seriously the way they made Thor pathetic was just sad. Oh and so much mocking of his PTSD by pretty much everyone. I guess not being a dick about PTSD only applies to Tony.

Natasha, I actually liked the majority of her plotline. Though that being said killing her off was incredibly stupid if the Black Widow movie is a real thing. I really liked her relationship with Clint, the way that she was helping coordinate the recovery, and the way she was willing to risk everything for a chance to fix things. She had a lot of personality, and I do remember why I adore the character again. I’m also glad that they didn’t put major focus on Steve/Nat. Oh no to make Steve’s storyline work he couldn’t be closely tied with anyone so no real friendships in the present for Steve. Nope, just taking advice from Stank to live life and thinking the only way to do that was to go back to Peggy...

Clint was the only one whose storyline I didn’t massively hate. I liked the way they showed his relationship with Natasha and how both of them care so much about each other. We really got to see them being family in this movie so that wasn’t terrible. And it was powerful to see him lose his family (it wasn’t like the other dusting, they were there and then gone the next second... a much better way to show everyone being gone imo then that dumbass over the top speech by Peter in Infinity War.) And his scenes after returning with the soul stone, and the fight against Thanos were kickass. Also seeing Lila Barton have her daddy’s talent for shooting arrows was terrific. Clint is a great father, and I loved the hints of it and his love for his family in this film. He just wasn’t enough to redeem the bullshit for me.

Wanda...barely in the film but kickass during the fight. It was great to watch her go head-to-head with Thanos, and having the call back to Infinity War with Okoye when the girls were trying to get the iron infinity stone glove away was great. I’m down for an all-women team-up movie a billion times more now then I was before this movie and I already knew that I still wanted that. Course now I would try to figure out how to pirate it because FUCK MARVEL.

Sam, idk. There were things I liked. Him becoming Captain America (if you are going to screw Steve like this, I’d rather Sam then Bucky any day of the week). His on your left and reaching out to steve over comms when he so desperately needed that little push to keep fighting. I despise the implication that he doesn’t know Steve because of his freak out about the past, and the fact that Steve was keeping secrets from him even though other movies have shown that to BULLSHIT.

Bucky, Steve fucked him over because he was too obsessed with Peggy to give a shit about his BFF being tortured by Hydra. It’s fucking gross and totally goes against who Steve is in the rest of the series. I did like the hug, seeing him shooting Thanos's army and the easiness between him and Sam. Other than that eh.

Valkyrie was awesome in the movie. I don’t like her much because of the slaver thing, but she was really great for her five minutes, two of being a leader and three of fighting (and I’m only sort of joking)

Nebula- I’m not sure I understand why Thanos and his people were about to see what future Nebula’s memory system knew And I wasn’t super into her babying of the shithead but other than that I liked the character. I wish they would put more emphasis on the sisterly relationship she’s building with Gamora.

Rocket- didn’t really like the way that he mocked Thor’s issues. However, he was a fun character.

Rhodey- He was annoying at the beginning but I liked the fact that he didn’t follow Tony’s example and say FUCK THE WORLD. And I did enjoy some of his lines at the end of the movie. such as the way he addresses the fact that he’s disabled with Nebula, creating a connection between them. (much better than the condescending way that Tony talked to her at the beginning). And I liked how the disability impacted him negatively during the final fight. It was nice to see something that is actually a medical necessity.

I did like the final battle. It was well done and I enjoyed the different fighting styles, bring back dusted characters, seeing who fought with who, and the devasting strength of Thanos. And the way that Carol really turned the tide. Tony’s death scene was incredibly dumb... Honestly, someone get Peter as far away from these kinds of fightings as possible because the kid doesn’t know how to handle shit.

There is probably so much more to add to this but honestly, I’m tired and it’s already long af. This movie sucks, be prepared for it to be worse then you expect, if you wanted to see Tony actually be a hero without having be convinced other people matter. If you wanted to see Steve continue with the path that he’s been on since Winter Soldier and suddenly decides that he’s more into Peggy than he is anything else. If you wanted to see more of Ragnorak’s Thor. If you wanted more for Natasha then her death, something that only bothers me/Odin with actual issues.

#Endgame spoilers #I hate this movie so much #adding more later #but probably going to be similar sizes.

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