#oh i forget one important thing that really made everything worse

[fail-fren]

Btw I've finally watched and finished trigun stampede and.... yea I didn't like it all that much

[edenmemes]

resident evil: 4 remake starters

❝ man, that stinks. ❞ ❝ this just keeps getting worse. ❞ ❝ you’re still a kid holding onto fantasies of what’s right and wrong. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna let you in on a little secret. just between us. ❞ ❝ the hell is going on? ❞ ❝ hey, we’re a team, right? ❞ ❝ where’s everyone going? bingo? ❞ ❝ you and me are two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ that’s just like you. you always had poor judgement. ❞ ❝ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❞ ❝ like i told you, i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i’m not falling for your mind games. ❞ ❝ you proved you can handle yourself. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed a damn bit. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve got something to say. ❞ ❝ gotta fix everything myself. ❞ ❝ you can’t run. you got to keep moving forward. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing but an extra in my script. ❞ ❝ i thought you were gonna die. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay you to ask questions. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for resting. ❞ ❝ revenge? you think i’m doing all this...for revenge? ❞ ❝ i need you to trust me, and do exactly as i say. ❞ ❝ you’re too soft to do what’s necessary. ❞ ❝ i know your potential better than anyone. ❞ ❝ you’ve made it all this way, but you haven’t learned a thing. ❞ ❝ maybe you’ll live to meet me again. ❞ ❝ the most important thing in this world is pure, unadulterated power. ❞ ❝ i’ve something to ask you...but i don’t think i’ll get a straight answer. ❞ ❝ you didn’t answer my question. what’re you after? ❞ ❝ you know, you were always an asshole. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ you are nothing if not unyielding. ❞ ❝ i just wanna feel good about myself. make amends. or something like that. ❞ ❝ just give me a heads-up before you stab me next time, okay? ❞ ❝ it’s okay to be afraid, you know. ❞ ❝ what do you think? people can change, right? ❞ ❝ not looking good, eh, my friend? ❞ ❝ you try to save one person; a hundred others die. ❞ ❝ was that an act of defiance? against me? ❞ ❝ a well-tuned weapon can make up for a lack of skill. ❞ ❝ i’ll let myself out. ❞ ❝ you won’t get away with this. ❞ ❝ be a shame to live the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’ - am i right? ❞ ❝ you have the stench of battle on you. ❞ ❝ so, tell me, why did you come to this horrible place? ❞ ❝ you wanna help? cause i could use it. ❞ ❝ if i could just forget what happened that night, the pain - even for a second... ❞ ❝ i knew i could count on you. ❞ ❝ i think you’d be pretty dashing in it. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to having such good company. ❞ ❝ hey. it’s dangerous outside. ❞ ❝ god damn...i was almost a pancake. ❞ ❝ a lot of people have gone missing around here. and it’s been like that for a while now. ❞ ❝ sorry. i, uh, screwed up. ❞ ❝ i’m so scared. when that happened...i wasn’t myself any more. ❞ ❝ well done. you’ve proven yourself reliable. ❞ ❝ won’t be going anywhere in this thing. ❞ ❝ sorry, didn’t realize that was yours. ❞ ❝ this time, it can be different. it has to. ❞ ❝ everything will work out just fine. ❞ ❝ you missed. that’s not like you. ❞ ❝ come to my rescue, prince charming! ❞ ❝ sometimes it’s more fun not knowing. ❞ ❝ if you do well, i’ll make it worth your while. ❞ ❝ that hurts, you know. ❞ ❝ this is one hell of a gloomy place. ❞ ❝ why help me, though? what’s in it for you? ❞ ❝ oh, well, maybe just untie me then? ❞ ❝ knowledge is power. remember that. ❞ ❝ i can’t tell if that’s meant to be a compliment. ❞ ❝ i’m sure you’ll do your best to help me. ❞ ❝ bill me for the repairs later. ❞ ❝ it seemed like you really wanted to talk. ❞ ❝ you know, those things will kill you. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed. you just think you have. ❞ ❝ don’t let the smallfry distract you from the big fish. ❞ ❝ quiet type, eh? ❞ ❝ guess you picked the wrong spot to vacation. ❞ ❝ a most warm welcome to my castle. ❞ ❝ bet you’ve been in spots like this before. ❞ ❝ to think you could be this foolish. ❞ ❝ give me a break already. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i wish i could do more to help. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to recall what happened down there. ❞ ❝ years haven’t been kind to us, i suppose. ❞ ❝ finally, some peace and quiet. ❞ ❝ who are you? and what are you doing here? ❞ ❝ i’m just an average guy who happens to be quite the ladies’ man. ❞ ❝ you should really be telling me what a good job i did. ❞ ❝ is this the first time you coughed up blood like this? ❞ ❝ so much for helping me. ❞ ❝ so, who are you working for this time? ❞ ❝ you think i’m gonna give up that easily? ❞ ❝ hey, are you sure you’re good? ❞ ❝ i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. but you’re going to have to trust me. ❞ ❝ gimme some space. ❞ ❝ i don’t get you. why risk your life like this? ❞ ❝ it’s a little over-the-top, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ they’re coming! get behind me. ❞ ❝ does that hurt? are you in pain? distressed? ❞ ❝ you are really starting to become a giant pain in my ass. ❞ ❝ you know i don’t work and tell. ❞ ❝ you’ve done well to make it this far. ❞ ❝ tell someone who gives a shit. ❞ ❝ happy to help. now you owe me. ❞ ❝ are you just trying to use me again? ❞ ❝ what’re you, my mother? ❞ ❝ i’m definitely gonna catch a cold. ❞ ❝ this artwork...doesn’t it look like it’s telling some kind of story? ❞ ❝ what do we do? there’s no way out. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with wanting the same for myself? ❞ ❝ it’s a little old fashioned for my taste. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your cool. making mistakes. ❞ ❝ don’t scare me like that. ❞ ❝ you’re slow. and so goddamn weak. ❞ ❝ wow, you’ve really gone all out for me! you shouldn’t have. ❞ ❝ i will send you back to the hell you came from. ❞ ❝ heheh, having a rough day? ❞ ❝ the reaper comes for cowards and the careless alike. which are you? ❞ ❝ i’ve got to think. need to get my head straight. ❞ ❝ i shall leave tomorrow. go far away. ❞ ❝ here’s my question...have you changed? ❞ ❝ we will beat this. together. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? show no mercy! ❞ ❝ i admit - you’ve done well to stay alive this long. ❞ ❝ this means death. a slow, miserable death. ❞

[icallhimjoey]

bestie *grabs you by the face and makes you listen to me* i am obsessed already! there isn't going to be a day where you don't know how to captivate me with your words, it's not fair! so... we're in a wedding dress and we've passed out and joe is wearing the unseen but already infamous olive green vintage suit... now what???

excellent question! here we go (smallest teeny tiny little tw: mention of the thought of someone committing suicide) Wordcount: 2.9K

---

Between Floors and Feelings

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Joe wasn’t exactly sure how this worked, but being put into a position where he had to take charge, where there didn't seem to be any other choice but to take charge, made it really easy to actually do just that. He took charge.

He just... did it. Went with it. Felt he was doing an okay job at managing it, too.

Sure, he was stuck in a tube station lift after midnight with a pretty girl who had panicked, had seemed to entirely forget how to breathe properly and had made herself pass out, but... he felt like he’d been in worse spots.

At least he knew for certain where you were. Had eyes on you. Could see and would know that you didn't... you know, make silly permanent decisions to what likely were temporary problems.

Because all problems were ultimately temporary, weren't they? Joe believed so, at least.

You’d only been out for a few seconds, hadn't gotten hurt in the process, and from his crouched position next to you, Joe had tried to speak to the lady on the other side of the intercom.

That didn’t work. She asked again if their services were needed, clearly not hearing any of what Joe was trying to tell her.

“Hang on!” Joe shouted over his shoulder towards the corner of the lift, and it made you wince at the sudden loud noise.

Waking up after involuntarily blacking out was awful. Disorienting, unsettling and confusing. Embarrassing too. It also took you a second to fully understand where you were and what had happened, and nothing really clicked into place until the strange man that hovered above you shouted.

Pounding heartbeat.

Lingering headache.

So drained.

“Here,” Joe capped the water bottle he was holding, and placed it down where you could see it. “Can you do one thing for me?”

You tried to sit up, tried to engage your muscles to help you move your head up from the floor.

“Two things!” Joe held up both hands, universal sign for stop. It made you lay back down and relax the muscles of your neck. “Two things, can you do two things for me?”

You groaned, knowing it was important to take things slowly, but you couldn’t feel anything down past your knees and as you told your brain to tell your toes to wiggle inside your shoes, you weren’t sure if anything was even happening down there.

“Don’t move,” Joe counted on a finger held over your face so you could see. “And focus on breathing, okay?”

You felt shaky and your face felt cold – wet – and you lifted hands to touch, to wipe, but your arms were too weak and moving them became just a weird trembling hover of clammy palms over white fabric.

Joe saw, took hold of them both and squeezed.

My God, those were possibly the sweetest most expressive eyes you had ever looked into. This guy looked at you like he'd known you all his life, like he knew exactly what had happened to you earlier that evening, like he could feel everything you were feeling right now.

And it helped.

“Just focus on breathing, nothing else. S’all you’ve got to do,”

Behind him, the static of the intercom died, and Joe muttered, “Oh, fuck,” before quickly getting up and moving towards it, pressing the emergency button once again.

“Inhale,” Joe said, bent with an ear close to the speaker, but eyes on you. One of his arms was stuck out to you, which didn't do anything, but it was nice anyway.

You decided that having just one job to do was actually... sort of nice.

You didn’t need to think of anything else for a second. Didn’t need to think about how the entire night had unfolded. How you’d seen you boyfriend – ex, oh my God, ex-boyfriend now, Jesus Christ. How you’d seen him excuse himself to go to the toilets, but then had seen him walk in the opposite direction.

You couldn’t believe you’d actually seen it.

With your own two eyeballs.

“Exhale,” Joe said and demonstrated an excruciatingly slow escape of his breath through his mouth.

“Keep going, take a minute, all right?”

Focussed. Eyes on the weird ceiling light boxes of the lift. Inhale. You could stay focussed. Just one job. One small task. Exhale. You could do this.

Slowly, you noticed that you could actually feel your feet fine. That your headache wasn't that prominent. Just a background sort of thing, probably because you were slightly dehydrated from the crying, and you listened to the intercom lady talk to Joe.

“Emergency services, how can I assist you?”

“Yes, hello!” Joe sounded unusually upbeat seeing the current situation you found yourselves in. “I am– we are stuck in a lift,” Joe waited a second, hoped maybe some form of acknowledgement would come through. However, it stayed silent, so he continued, “It's just me and one other person in one of the Covent Garden tube station lifts, and–”

Joe got cut off right in the middle of his sentence.

“Hello, emergency services. You have pressed the emergency button in one of our lifts, are you in need of any help?”

Joe stared and blinked at the little holes that formed a larger circle.

“Yea, we're stuck,” you tasted a tinge of annoyance in Joe's tone. “The lift stopped moving and the doors–”

“Hello?”

“Hello?!”

Joe looked at you questioningly disturbed, as if to say, am I crazy? What the fuck's happening?

Then the static of the intercom stopped again. Like they'd hung up on you.

“I think it's broken,” you said, voice way too small for your own liking.

Joe tried again, pressed the emergency button, waited for the static to come on, but the same thing happened. A voice asked if you needed assistance, if you needed any help, but it seemed like the microphone on your end wasn't working properly. They weren't receiving any of what you were saying. Of what Joe was trying to articulate slowly, to enunciate distinctly, and he grew more and more irritated each time he had to repeat himself.

Cool time to feel the urgency within your body that came from your bladder that needed emptying.

You needed to piss badly.

Joe pressed the emergency button again. And then again. Checked his own phone to be presented with the difficult truth that he also did not have any service underground, and then, pressed the emergency button yet again.

What else was there to do? How else were you going to get out of there?

“At some point they must understand,” Joe explained, and you agreed. There was going to have to be a point you could reach by just pressing this button over and over for people on the other side to realise that this wasn't kids just pranking them, or an accidental press of a button. Maybe they could somehow see where you were, have someone locate you and get you out... you didn't know how emergency buttons in lifts worked.

You just laid there and listened to Joe pressing a button, to a lady asking the same urgent question that didn't get an answer she could hear until you could no longer feel your heartbeat in your fingertips.

Slowly, the acceptance that this was going to probably last for at least a little while settled within you.

You told your bladder to keep it together.

Shit.

It all made fucking sense, didn't it? Your worst-night-ever bingo card hadn't had "stuck in a lift" crossed off yet, so of course, this had to happen. Almost felt like it was written in the stars a little. Meant to be. One bad fuck up right after the other. Life really knew how to kick you right in the shins when you'd just been knocked over the head.

“I'm going to sit up now,” you announced, because you felt like you couldn't just move without letting him know. Not after the whole can you do two things for me.

Before you could even attempt to slowly pick yourself up off the floor, a tweed-cladded knee pressed into the tulle that felt like it engulfed you entirely, and two hands helped pull you up into a sitting position.

“Here, against the side,” Joe said, hands softly guiding, but persisting you moved to sit with your back leant against a side panel of the lift.

God.

You'd forgotten what it was like for someone to fret over you like this. All worried and distraught. All caring and shit. Attentive, almost doting. T'was cute.

Like, you were fine, but it was kind of nice. Kind of fed your self-pity a little. Made it go, yea, see?! we are sad and we do need taking care of.

“Are you all right?”

A careful second passed where you tried to really feel within your body if you were. And... you were, so you gave a small nod.

Then, the water bottle got kindly pressed into your hands again.

“I won't force you, I know I drank from that, but I promise, you will probably feel better if you just had sip,”

The faintest of little smiles appeared on your face when you finally took the bottle from Joe's hands, and you'd have taken hold of it much sooner had you known the facial expression it would bring about from him.

You still weren't going to take a sip though. Didn't want to fill up your bladder more. It was already painful enough as it was.

Joe got up and went to press the emergency button again.

A silence passed. Just static.

Joe pressed the button over and over, waited for the same question to be asked, waited for the static to stop, and then, he'd just press it again.

This was ridiculous.

Your gaze went from looking up at Joe down towards your hands in your lap. Water bottle immersed in bridal fabric.

You had seen your boyfriend make out with your boss whilst she was pulling off his tie.

You had pissed in her handbag.

You were stuck in a tube station lift with a faulty intercom and a handsome stranger.

Ridiculous.

You huffed a laugh that surprised you a little.

Fuck, this was so fucking ridiculous.

The huff turned into soft giggles, which turned into a louder chuckle, and when you looked back up to make eye-contact with Joe, you squeezed your eyes shut as big belly laughs escaped you.

“This is so ridiculous!” you laughed, and when you looked again, you saw Joe was biting back his laughter until it loudly escaped from his throat through his teeth. “What is even happening right now?!”

You felt delirious, overtaken with giggles that you couldn't stop because you were far too tired to work against them.

You laughed and laughed, drowning out the lady asking if you needed assistance. You had to wipe under your eyes where you found tears in the corners and you didn't mind wiping these away. These were good ones.

Joe ended up throwing his head back, shoulders slack from his giggles, then bending forward, nearly tumbling over which only made you laugh more. He leant against the wall opposite you, laughed and slowly slid down until his bum reached the floor and his trousers had ridden up, bright yellow socks now revealed to you.

You laughed until it slowly fizzled out into smaller giggles. Then a last huff, maybe two. Then silence again.

The atmosphere had gone from strangely tense to stupidly playful. This was nicer. Made you relax into yourself a little more.

“I'm sorry you had to deal with... that,” you said through a stupid smile, vaguely motioning with a heavy arm to the spot in front of you where you'd passed out a little earlier.

“Nah, don't worry about it,” Joe scrunched up his whole face as he shook his head a little. “I hope you didn't have urgent plans,” Joe made a face, tucked in chin, eyebrows raised high, followed by small nod with his eyes trained on the tulle of your skirt. Like a wedding, he meant jokingly.

You snorted. Made Joe laugh again.

“Because, we might be stuck in here for a while.”

It made you frown and groan.

“This is just my luck.”

“You um... you seem like you've had quite the evening,” Joe treaded lightly, sounding like he was just making conversation but was very clearly pointing out the elephant in the lift. The big, poofy, white one.

“This isn't,” you shook your head and winced at yourself. “This isn't what it looks like, sorry,”

You saw confusion strike, and you bit your lips into your mouth as you squinted, contemplating if you should tell him. If you did, it had to be the full story. Just going, “oh I'm not a bride, this isn't my wedding day” would only lead to more confusion, because that's what it looked like, wasn't it?

But lying felt worse.

Joe was right. You might be stuck in there for a little while.

So, you thought it over for maybe three seconds, then stuck out a hand for Joe to shake and you introduced yourself. Said your name, and Joe repeated it back to you.

“Joe,” he then said, reintroducing himself.

“I'm not a bride,” you followed up.

“Cool, neither am I,” Joe said and smirked. Pulled another giggle from you.

Shit.

“This is fancy dress,” you motioned both hands up and down your frame.

“So is this,” Joe did the same, copying your movements.

“No it isn't,” you laughed. That suit looked far too expensive to be fancy dress.

“No, it's not,” Joe agreed and laughed along.

Fuck, it felt good to laugh.

Flirty bastard.

Joe looked up towards the emergency button above him and reached a hand, pressing it again, not even bothering with waiting for the intercom to spring to life. He just needed to press it to press it. To let people know you were still stuck. While the intercom static filled the lift car once again, he turned back to you and continued the conversation.

“Bridezilla?” he questioned.

You slowly inhaled a deep breath. “Well... ex-wife, or so it turns out,”

Oof.

Joking about it felt wrong and made you itch all over. Too soon. Far too soon. Big nope.

Jesus, that nearly made you want to cry again.

Joe saw, read it in your face, and straightened his own.

“If it's of any consolation,” he started, then squeezed is eyes firmly shut as he said, “You look fantastic.”

It burst another laugh from your chest that immediately made you sit up straighter. “Stop, stop,” you pleaded. “I'm going to pee myself,”

“No!” Joe lurched forward, added “Sorry, sorry!” with a joyfully painful face so full of empathy, you didn't really know what to do with all the care they held for you.

You winced through half laughs with tensed shoulders until they died down, then made awkward eye-contact and passed Joe's water bottle back to him.

“Oh, yea,” Joe took it, held it up a little to drive home the point that he understood why you hadn't taken a sip yet.

Your eyes shot back up towards the emergency button. Joe saw, reached a hand up, pressed it once more and said, “They must come soon,”

He just said that to make sure you stayed calm, you understood. But you wanted to be realistic. Needed to at least speak the question that played on your mind into existence.

“What if they don't?”

It made Joe look at you a second before he turned his head and inspected all four corners of the lift.

“If they don't, we'll just... we'll move closer to here,” Joe pointed towards the corner he was closest to. Closest to the intercom. “And we'll use that corner to pee,”

Another snort laugh.

Another wince.

Another, “Sorry,” from Joe who couldn't help the pursed little smile on his face at the fact that he'd made you laugh again.

“They better fucking hurry,” you said mostly to yourself, and Joe leant forward, reached, and somehow knew exactly where to grab to get your knee through the layers of your skirt. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and said, “We'll be out of here in no time. You watch.”

He said it mostly to make sure panic wouldn't get a hold of you again.

Wished he was right so you wouldn't actually need to resort to assigning a certain corner of the box you were trapped in to be the bathroom.

Wished he was wrong because, strangely, this didn't actually seem so bad.

Joe’d been in worse spots. Way worse spots.

He was stuck in a tube station lift with a broken intercom after midnight with a pretty girl who had made herself pass out and who really needed the toilet, but... she laughed at his jokes, giggled at the faces he made and it was now all he wanted to do for the rest of the night.

Make her tear-stained face spill over with joy for however long he was granted the time to do so.

Just your luck? Just Joe's luck.

Yea.

This wasn't so bad.

Joe’d been in far worse spots.

---

The Taglisted: 

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @dirtyeddietini @jasminearondottir @freckledjoes @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @thefemininemystiquee @alana4610 @emmamooney @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @munsonmunster @kellyxo1 @chaoticgood-munson @sherrylyn628 @ohmeg @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @roosterisdaddy36 @alwayslindie @breddiemunson @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland @pepperstories @phyllosilicate-s @thebellenouvelle @luvrsbian @joesquinns @choke-me-eddie @alizztor @jnnyrd @did-it-work @capricornrisingsstuff @quinnsmunson @frogers @kennedy-brooke @daleyeahson @eddielives1986 @harringtonfan4 @sadbitchfangirl @emma77645 @tlclick73

(taglist currently full, sorry)

[directivexero]

don't give up on fighting games, fighting games won't give up on you

I wanted to make a follow up post to my big spiel from the other night, because tonight really put things into perspective for me. strap in everyone, this is a long one

I played in the PRIDEFGC Strive bracket today, and I got absolutely rinsed. but it didn't feel bad, I lost and it didn't feel bad for the first time in a *looooong* time. In fact, I felt incredible about how i played today. round 2 in losers was against another Sol, and i lost because they were very patient and taking advantage of space and whiff punishing me for everything. but also, my pressure on offense was really good and I managed to take a round off of them! and round 1 was special, and something so important to me and to fighting games as a whole

my round 1 was a bit of a mess, online brackets are never perfect. start.gg in particular is a real stickler for checking in on time and DQ'ing people bc they didnt get an email or a discord notification immediately. it happens, and it gets worse the bigger the bracket, and it was a massive bracket. something like 2 40ish player pools? that's huge for an online *charity* event, its bigger than some locals.

I was really upset about this at first. i was feeling myself today. taking yesterday off to just vibe, eat a decent bento box from my local japanese restaurant and play a bunch of DBD was a really good break for me. and i woke up this morning, nearly forgetting that i had signed up. i was signed up for a bracket last night, my online local Dust Up, but i had been timed out from the server for being a real shithead to myself and generally being unhappy with fighting games, because i had mentally tied my self worth to them without realizing it. but today was different.

I got some work done, got my stream schedule up for the week, played some more DBD (with friends this time) and just enjoyed a nice day. and then I got the email for the bracket and was like "oh shit right, i should probably show up for that". so i booted up Strive and hopped into training mode to warm up. and you know what? that combo that i had been struggling with? the one that took me almost 200 times to get right just the once? i got it on my first try, with the Clean Hit Tyrant Rave even! and while i couldnt replicate the clean hit again, i got the combo 20 more times in a row without a single drop

and this was a real shock to me. i didnt play at all yesterday, and i felt like i wasnt getting anywhere with the game. i was considering even swapping characters again to see if there was something that i was missing, to see if there was some fun i could have somewhere else. but in the end, i dont think i need it anymore. what I really needed, and what everyone was telling me and what i refused to hear, was that i just needed to give myself some room to breathe. taking a *single* day off made me more consistent with this combo, it just gave it time to rest and settle into my brain and hands. it's all i needed, and it was right in front of me the entire time. i just couldnt get it through my head

after this revelation, and was FUCKING *STOKED* to get into bracket. I saw who my first opponent was, Hazel. i recognized the name, they had taken second in the Granblue bracket last night. they were so exciting to watch, i was rooting for them the whole time! how could i not? they were playing my wife Narmaya, i wanted them to win so badly. and after an INCREDIBLE grand finals, they ended up in second. i was a little sad to see them not make it all the way, but I was so thrilled to see such good gameplay last night, and I knew I was gonna get some good games from them today

so we got the whole bracket situated, i messaged her on discord to make sure we were still able to play, got it sorted with a TO and met up in the park. they pulled up with a level 800 Bedman? and i was so excited. it was, a strange feeling, being in bracket, seeing a player i knew was a monster pull up with a character 700 levels above mine, and to be *this* ecstatic to be squaring up. and I have no idea how to play against the bed. nobody plays this guy. and i went in expecting to get rinsed. which i did! but it wasn't actually all that bad on the surface. I managed to block the overhead jump-in for the first time *ever* tonight, and I did it 5 more times over the course of the set. i still got blown up for not blocking the slow overhead and bedman's lows are deceptively far-reaching, and i just wasn't sure how to adapt to those. but that's okay! i did some very good things today, and my pressure was clean enough to take a round off of this very high level player. im so proud of what ive done, and im happy that ive finally escaped the fog that was clouding my mind for so long

and after bracket, i got up, refilled my drink, and hopped into the tower. i was *hungry* for more games. and I got smoked by a Slayer. just absolutely rinsed. but! i caught on to their tricks pretty early, and started to 6S more often than i ever had, and got a lot of counterhits! slowly getting a feel for that matchup, even reading how they follow up after Dandy step and punishing it accordingly. i also got a ping in BAN from RKP, one of the TOs there, looking for games. i responded almost immediately, i wanted to scrap more. they asked for a ft5 at first, but wanted to know if i wanted a ft10. i declined, because i could tell that i was reaching my limit. another step towards progress!

he met me in the park, asking to take player 2 bc he wanted to work on player 2 side inputs. we both pulled up looking to work on stuff, as i wanted to try to implement some of the whiff punishing i was just subjected to by that Sol player. and I got rinsed *again*. but! I landed my corner combo!!! (almost, dropped the HVV at the end, but its still progress) and I also did the correct follow-up after the counter-hit meaty Fafnir setup for the first time! i was so happy, RKP is so fucking good at this game and an incredibly nice person as well. grappler players play like sickos, but they're so sweet in reality.

and this is what its all about. i love fighting games so much. no other community, no other hobby, no other sport will you get camaraderie like this. you won't get this anywhere else. the passion, the love, the friendships. you won't get it anywhere else. everyone's gonna have their bad days, their bad weeks, sometimes even their bad months. but if you just take a breath, take a few steps back, make sure you've taken care of yourself, it will all be okay.

don't give up on fighting games, because no matter what, they won't give up on you

[ethereal-navi]

Wounded Feelings

Pairing: Neteyam x Navi! Omatikaya! Reader

Summary: You tend to Neteyam’s wounds after the war party returns.

Content Warning: Nothing besides some minor swearing.

A/N: Hii So this is my first Avatar piece and I’ve been eager to write ever since I saw the new movie. Shit really brought back my avatar phase 😭

“Y/N, don’t forget to have everything prepared for when they return.”

“Yes ma’am.” You moved from your spot and carefully set up all the supplies necessary for healing around the Tsahik’s tent.

Training under Mo’at was no easy task and on days like this you were always on edge. Whenever the war party was out you had to pray to the Great Mother that everyone would come back in one piece and your healing wasn’t needed.

This time around two of your favorite people happened to be close to the battlefield. Neteyam and Lo’ak were tasked with air support today and hopefully if they followed their father’s instructions they shouldn’t be in any danger.

Mo’at could sense your distraction as she watched you mess up the placement of supplies.

“They’ll be fine, Y/N. You need to focus.”

Shaken out of your thoughts and brought back to reality. You quickly fixed your mistake before mentally kicking yourself.

“Yes of course. I’m sorry.”

Suddenly the sound of war cries rang through the cave and Tuk ran into the tent.

“They’re back! Y/N come on, come on!!” She ran out as quickly as she entered. Leaving you to look at Mo’at for approval.

“Go. But be back soon.”

You nodded with a thankful smile on your face. After leaving the tent you quickly met up with Tuk, Kiri and Spider. The four of you eagerly waited as the Ikrans landed near the cliffs.

As the warriors dismounted their Ikrans the four of you ran up to greet them. Tuk immediately running up to her mother while you and Kiri checked on the boys.

A gash on Neteyam’s chest distracted you from the scolding they were currently receiving.

“Oh Great Mother, what have you gotten into this time?” Your fingers lightly danced around the wound causing him to wince.

“Y/N, go help Mo’at with the wounded.” You turned to look at the Oletykan.

“Neteyam is wounded.” Your statement made Tuk look over her other brother in worry.

“It’s fine.” Neteyam bowed his head in submission towards his father. Clearly he thought this scolding was more important.

Jake exhaled roughly.

“Y/N, Kiri, Tuk, go now.”

The three of you sighed and made your way to the tent.

“It’s my fault sir-“

“You’re right, cause you’re the big brother and you gotta act like it.” Jake shook his head in disappointment and Neytiri stood behind her child.

“Ma Jake, your son is actually bleeding.”

“I’m fine, mom.”

Jake sighed and looked at the boy.

“Go get patched up. Dismissed.”

Lo’ak was then left to deal with Jake’s wrath alone. Not before getting a warning look from his mother.

Once the two of them entered the tent you immediately sat him down as Mo’at worked on paste for his wound.

“Skxawng. The hell were you thinking?? You and your brother, always getting into trouble.” You lightly hit the back of his head causing him to hiss.

“I know I know. We just bit off more than we could chew, that’s all.”

You sighed looking at him. If only he knew how much you worry about him while he’s out there.

“You’re lucky it wasn’t worse.” You accepted the bowl Mo’at handed you and began placing the paste on his wound, which caused him to yelp out in pain.

“Aww does the baby need a kiss on the boo boo?” Spider said as stood behind him, taunting him as Lo’ak finally came to join the group.

“I would use yamna bark.” Kiri interjected.

“Oh you would? And who is Tsahik?” Mo’at said while smiling at her granddaughter.

“You are grandmother-move.” She nudged her younger brother out of the way. “You are grandmother. But it stings less.”

You scoffed at her comment.

“I think he should remember this sting for when he wants to do something reckless.” The tent laughed as you continued to apply the medicine.

After things had settled down you sat yourself on the edge of the cave, looking out into the night. It didn’t take long for Neteyam to join on the edge. His thighs touching yours while his eyes scanned your face.

“What’s on your mind, yawntu?”

Your cheeks flush at the nickname. After all this time you still couldn’t get used to it.

“You could have gotten really hurt today Nete, Lo’ak too. Or worse-“

His hand moved to the back of your neck, making you turn to him.

“Hey, I’m okay. With the help of you and my grandmother’s painful remedy.” The two of you chuckled.

“You don’t need to worry. I’ll stay out of trouble, I wouldn’t want this pretty face to be stained with tears.” His thumb moved to gently stroke your cheek, making you smile.

Times like these you really thought he reciprocated your feelings. But he was just being nice, right?

Translations

Yawntu- loved one

[puzzled-pegasus]

Bloberta and Clay analysis ramblings

(TW: discussion of child abuse, spousal abuse, alcoholism, and SA)

I just rewatched Help and Passing and think it's time that I talked about our favorite dysfunctional husband and wife from Moral Orel.

Both Bloberta and Clay are really bad people in my opinion, and both sympathetic, but Bloberta is undeniably responsible for the fact that they ended up together when they shouldn't have, and Clay is of course mostly responsible for the way he treated Orel. It's important to note that I do NOT think that Bloberta is responsible for Clay's alchoholism, at least not by encouraging him to drink one single time at a party. He's responsible for his own choice to keep drinking so much every day after despite the person he became when he was drunk.

She did, however, essentially squeeze a not-even-proposal out of him after he made it clear that he wasn't into the idea of marriage, and then was disappointed and frustrated when he looked sad at their wedding. It's possible that she may have had somewhat of an "i can fix him" mentality?

Mostly, though, it's shown in the episode Help that all she wants is to be useful and wanted, and to find a man as quickly as she can to get married to so she doesn't feel left out in her circle of women around her age. She was a middle child at home and constantly pushed aside everywhere else as well. So of course, she's going to snatch up the first young man who so much as engages in pleasant conversation with her. Even if that man is someone who very strongly hints at wanting nothing to do with her romantically.

As we learn in previous episodes of the show, Bloberta also seems desperate for male attention because Clay avoids her, but she probably also was back then; Clay just didn't satisfy her want for attention like she thought he would, because he resented her.

Of course, we don't see into Bloberta's childhood at all, not that Clay's childhood flashback didn't make him look like 100 percent worse as a person, and Clay gets more screentime overall. But with what we do have, Clay gets a few more sympathy points from me, especially from what we learn in Help and during his Nature rant.

As the best, and most well-rounded-out story antagonists do, Clay has a really interesting cocktail of trauma that makes him the intimidating abuser that he is. There are so many points during his screentime where you almost just feel bad for him, or concerned. Especially in the Nature rant.

One thing that's so good about that rant is that the whole scene almost perfectly illustrates the feeling of having a parent dump some of their darkest traumas onto you just because you're forced to listen. The concern on Orel's face, the sorrow, the shock, the disturbance of seeing someone---that he trusted and looked up to, and who he thought had everything figured out, like lots of children believe their parents do----just...fall apart in front of him.

Just the same as Orel does in this scene, the viewer might feel very uncomfortable and somewhat angry at Clay for putting all this onto a child who is dependent on him and who he put into a dangerous situation with his drunken self, but there's also an undeniable sense of sympathy for Clay as he rants about how unhappy he is with his life. A large part of the rant is also about his resentment toward women and Bloberta in particular, and the way he describes their relationship...to me, makes it sound like Bloberta has sexually assaulted him, and I'm surprised I haven't see anyone talk about that.

As additional evidence, consider the exchange in The Best Christmas Ever:

"I don't even remember concieving [Shapey]!"

"Oh please, when do you ever remember?" Now, in a normal argument, this would just be a jab at how Clay is constantly drunk, but this is a conversation about the origins of a child, thus, having sexual intercourse; implying that Clay often doesn't remember when he and Bloberta do it.

"All I do is try to forget." This one really confirms it for me. If Bloberta doing sexual things to Clay is so awful for him that he's constantly self medicating to forget about it---of course, that among other things---then I would classify that as SA.

And then there's the line, "I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night," which may or may not be evidence. He may have phrased it that way to convince himself that he had control over the situations where Bloberta coerced him, or it may be regret of the (very) few times he cooperated willingly. Possibly both.

Who knows. Maybe Clay didn't mind it for a little while after they were married, and didn't see the need anymore after they already had a child because he wasn't sexually attracted to Bloberta in the first place. Maybe he was attracted to her for a short while and he lost the feeling when she was pregnant. Either way, his distress during the Nature rant made it undeniably clear to me that at least a portion of his sexual encounters with Bloberta were instances of marital SA with Blobs as the perpetrator.

I'd like to say again that this observation about Clay does not in anyway attempt to redeem him as a character or say he was "good all along," I just think it's annoying that the rape of Nurse Bendy and Miss Sculptham were such impactful scenes in the fandom and yet I've never seen anyone bring up the possibility that it could have been happening to Clay.

Moving on from that, though, there's another thing I've noticed about the relationship with Clay and Bloberta----the absence of domestic abuse, as least that we have seen. Not that I'm complaining that no one is beating their spouse in this show, but looking at all the other dark topics in Moral Orel, it's just a little interesting that they didn't cover the topic of spousal abuse, even as a joke. Which is to say, it's interesting that despite how much Clay and Bloberta hate each other, they never get into physical fights or push each other around using violence. Well, except for that one time in Help where Blobs punches Clay in the face. But who's to say whether she did that while married.

They also don't get into very many heated fights, to such an extent that Orel still thinks they're somewhat happy at the end of the show. In general, it seems like they're mostly just trying to stay out of each other's way. Maybe they do have some sort of small shred of human respect or base level love for each other. Maybe they don't see the point of being violent toward each other, or maybe they just don't want anyone to see bruises on the other to arouse suspicion that they're not actually perfect and happy and loving. There are ways to cover bruises, though, so I think there's gotta be some other reason. Maybe they're just worried about it being a sin to lay hands on a spouse? Maybe Clay took to heart the fact that his own father never, ever laid hands on his wife, Clay's mother? Maybe it was enough for Clay to take his frustrations out on Orel instead, since he misbehaved so often?

Anyway, this is a long post. These characters are just so interesting and the story is so thought provoking. Send me asks if you want. Or don't. I just like talking about these loser ass puppet people.

[queensectonia]

last night i was reminded of one of my extremely few Hater Moments (lighthearted) about this series and i never got around to fully articulating my thoughts on it, so it is once again time for our regularly-scheduled kirby rant:

the spider sectonia reveal was poorly-executed on every level.

to start with, this plot element was introduced when the series was in its worst throes of Not Putting The Fucking Lore In The Fucking Games, but I will happily concede that this reveal was at least in a game; just not the game it should have been in.

I almost wonder if the Sectonia Clone as a whole was a leftover from the fact that Robobot started out development as Triple Deluxe 2, but considering that a) TD2 was dropped pretty early on and b) Robobot is just full to the brim with fanservice and callbacks anyway, I don't feel there's much evidence for such a theory.

at any rate, reducing the otherwise very intriguing reveal of Sectonia's prior form to a blink-and-you'll-miss-it easter egg in an entirely different game is pretty... underwhelming. we've had plenty of "reveals" or cool nods and expansions to other lorebits in similar easter eggs, but none of them were nearly as important as "oh, by the way, here's what the character whose whole arc revolves around personal and physical image used to look like! in a totally unrelated game!"

but that's the tamest complaint. that's just the accessibility of this information, which could have been better but certainly could have been worse.

the biggest problem is Sectonia's design. it's bad. it is just not good, fellas. she is literally just genderbent Taranza. it fails visually, it fails conceptually, and it fails really hard story-wise.

this design was so uninspired that when people in the EN sphere first saw it, tons of people thought it just was Taranza. then when we got screenshots, model rips, etc., it was still so painfully similar to Taranza that it made people assume HAL was saying Taranza and Sectonia were related - which turned into just as much of a shitfight as you might think.

even if this weren't attached to such a crucial character reveal, it's just downright a bad design! instead of taking even the slightest efforts to differentiate Sectonia from Taranza, they did the laziest, most barebones "uhhhhhh what if taranza But Girl" design shift possible. she's wearing the exact same outfit as Taranza, just palette-swapped. so little effort went into both the concepting stage and the modelling stage. she's just Taranza's model with the merest tweaks to make sure you know this is a Girl Spider.

genuinely, I would be a hundred times more amenable to this entire plot point if HAL had just bothered to give her an actual design.

but the problem is, making Sectonia a spider kind of just fucks everything about her story and contradicts itself at multiple points.

the aesthetic and theme language in TD is very clear. this is one of the biggest strengths that both it and Robobot share - the identity and literary through-lines of both games pervade every single visual element of them. Robobot tells its tale of capitalistic tech-fuelled colonialism through every part of the game from level backgrounds, to enemy designs, right down to surgical decisions like mechanising the pinwheel tree that was such a fond image from KRtD. every tiny thing bore the mark of the HWC, whether metaphorically or literally, such that you spent the entire game never forgetting that there was one unified force behind all of this, and Haltmann at the end of the game was the culmination of this aesthetic.

TD did the exact same. every part of TD sells that it's a fantastical fairytale romp through a series of themed locations with a connecting thread of the invading Antr* force.

*(this is a way better romanisation than "antler" this is my hill)

if anything, I'd argue that TD's design language in this respect is tighter than Robobot's, because Robobot had a fairly broad theme of "industrialisation and hi-tech space future sci-fi" to draw its foes from, whereas TD had to condense its antagonists under the stricter banner of "evil insect army".

and they did incredibly. every point of design about the Antrs points straight to Sectonia and draws from her in some way or another. it's absolutely seamless. she's the perfect logical endpoint of Antr design from every angle: she's the literal queen bee of this insect hive and the perfect expression of their anatomy. she's bigger than the biggest Antr. she's more developed. she's more powerful. they were so careful and thorough about this design conceit that Antrs have multiple stages that all march straight up to Sectonia. we go from the tiny bronto burt and waddle dee clones with their little wings and eyes that seem so familiar, to the Antr soldiers, all the way up to the Lord Antrs who are one step away from Sectonia. they have stripes and facial markings to echo hers. it's all wrapped up with the genius bow of combining ants, bees, and wasps: they're all hymenoptera! the metaphor goes even deeper than that because there's a species of wasp that parasitizes spiders! controls them, even!

... except no actually, we've decided she's a spider too and all of that buildup and artful design means nothing.

it's awful. it's taking what is far and away one of the best-executed designs in the series and saying that all of that buildup and blatant connection of ideas meant nothing.

but that's just the visual end of it. Sectonia actually being a spider makes no sense in the lore, either.

first of all, TD's incredible design sense and artistic direction applies to Taranza as well. while he's obviously derivative of Magolor, within the context of TD he's clearly meant to evoke the sky fairies. he's designed to look much more like them than any of the insect characters. he's got the same body type, he moves the same way as them, he's a sky fairy with a spider theme. the game draws visual parallels between him and the sky fairies more than once; this is not unintentional.

this is part of what makes Taranza's role as Sectonia's right hand more impactful: he's only insect adjacent, and the design language would have you believe he's more closely related to the fairies than the insects, so him being with the bad guys is notable and interesting.

so why would a spider character be the ruling monarch of the insect hive? why would the line go ant, bigger ant, fancy ant, armoured ant, spider, wasp?

I mean, shit dude, the miiverse posts directly tell us that Sectonia used to "look like her insect underlings". it really feels like the decision to make her be a spider was a total spur-of-the-moment one, between how badly it interacts with the rest of the story and how lazy the design was. Sectonia's backstory had a couple of holes in it regarding the actual timeline of things, but those were just mysteries regarding what order everything happened in. she was both a bodyjacker and a good queen at one point, which don't exactly jive, so it becomes interesting to think about how those two facts coexist. on the other hand, her being a spider just gets shoehorned in there for no apparent reason other than to... heighten her connection to Taranza?

and that just dovetails into the complete mockery HAL made of Taranza's character development after TD, and THAT is a rant for another time.

there was just no point to it all. Sectonia being a spider adds nothing, removes a bunch of nuance and intrigue, and muddies both her story and the background world of TD.

[haruniki]

Their icks in a relationship

HSR Edtion- Stelle, Himeko, March 7th, Asta, Herta (pt 1/?) a/n: i thought about this today at work and was like wait a minute, this would be a great idea to write about and here it is. will be doing a csm version and potentially an overwatch one

Stelle: Loud Chewing

Stelle seems like the person who would chew loud as fuck

and the bad thing about it is that she knows she's doing it or you at least hope she knows that she's doing it

You curse whoever showed her gum

and if she catches that it's bothering you she's going to make it worse for you by purposely chewing louder

No matter how many times you try to come up with a solution to prevent her from chewing loudly, she manages to chew so loudly.

You're very surprised that no one else says anything about it ".... Stelle.." "What's up?" "If you chew any louder, I will personally deliver you to the stellaron hunters myself." ":("

Himeko: Overbearing

Now normally, being a little cautious or even caring is a nice thing in a partner.

However, Himeko is just a little too caring.

From getting a small cut on your hand to having a slight headache, mommy(not in the good sense) Himeko is there to take care of you and even sometimes demanding that you take the day off and to let her take care of you.

Himeko just really loves you and she hasn't had a relationship like yours in a long time.

She wants to do everything she can to take care of you and to make sure your happy, though she refuses the same treatment.

Let's also not forget that she also brings up things that you say your going to do like doing your laundry and then forgetting to do it or changing the oil in your car.

She's constantly reminding you or asking you if you have done it yet or when are you going to do it "(y/n), dear, I noticed that your car still has the check oil light. I thought i would remind you about it so you wouldn't forget." "Hime, I know, you reminded me about 2 hours ago. I'll get it done, i promise." "Are you sure? I can check it for you, last time you accidently hurt yourself. I wouldn't want that to happen again.." "I...I'm sure Himeko.."

March 7th: Selfie Time

Now you love taking pictures with March just as much as most people do

However, March tends to take more selfie during the special moments more than actually living in the moment.

And now before anyone says anything about how "a picture is to always remember the moment so even when you forget about it you have a photo to continue on the moment"

March takes photos the entire time or a vast majority of the time.

During a New Years Party, she made you pose for the same photo for the entire countdown and missed the opportunity to kiss her "This angle maybe? hmmm... no no.. this one looks better, but the lighting is off.." "Umm.. March, the countdown. It's almost time t-" "Hey, stay in the pose, silly! I want this to look perfect!"

Safe to say that you got to kiss her at 12:10 AM rather than midnight on the dot

At least the picture comes out nice?

Asta: Interrupting

I feel really bad typing this one but I feel like it would fit

Asta tends to interrupt you and others in conversation

She doesn't really mean it, it's just that sometimes the information is only really important for that segment and she doesn't want to move on to a different area until she's able to add to the previous one

Asta does apologize about it and even tries to not do it as much

She is always actively working on being better "Asta, did you send me that recipe? I wanted to make it tonight." "Oh yes, I sent it. Is that why you wanted to have a date at home?" "Yeah, you said you wanted to try it and I thought tonight would be a goo-" "We should probably go out to buy some of the ingredients. I think we don't have any eggs left nor do we have the right baking dish for it."

Herta: Ms. Know it all

I like to think this one was a little bit obvious what it would be

while she is smart and is consider a genius by well.. everyone

Herta doesn't know everything when it comes to things like anime or video games

Hence she is a know it all and a so intelligent being as she proclaims

When talking to her about a puzzle in a game, she claims to know how to beat and when asked for help, she declines.

Instead she makes you suffer through trying to solve it and when you do eventually solve, she congratulates you on passing her test. "You can solve it, it's a very simple puzzle. Even a child could do it, which is what these games are made for." "Well all high mighty, if it's soooo simple why don't you do it?" "Tch, your the partner to one of the smartest beings in the galaxy and you can't solve a simple puzzle? For shame, (y/n), for shame..." "Just say you cant solve."

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Always get a bit frustrated whenever I see a comment on a kitty-edit that's like "Oh Kitty had such a sad childhood, but at least she has the Captain now."

Don't get me wrong, I love their relationship, it's adorable, he is definitely her dad as evident by how she views him as such in flashbacks the same way Alison is her sister.

But I feel like people forget that their relationship is actually fairly new? She outright says in the first series that she does not like him and that he's only got worse since Alison arrived. It's not until S3 they start to warm to each other and what makes it work so beautifully is how it coincides with Cap becoming more true to his (fabulous) self, rather than trying to be the bossy soldier. Basically he fits the mould of her real father, both good and bad, but the more he subconsciously reminds her of how cold and strict her father could be, rather than his sweeter moments, the less she wants to be around him. When he starts to let his real self show and become more the man she wishes her dad had been is when that bond starts to form. That's what I find interesting about them.

However the suggestion that Cap is the only one to care for her or even the one who cares the most I feel does a real disservice to the other ghosts. They all absolutely adore her in their own way.

Her friendship with Mary was adorable and I love how protective Mary was of her even before Kitty died, insulting her father for ruining her fun, then standing up for her when she stood up for Cap, them gushing over things together like the rice krispies and the snow globe, making up their inventory song, Mary comforting Kitty at the party and putting her to bed. How heartbroken Kitty was at losing her and desperate to believe she would come back.

Every scene she and Pat have together, him being her dance partner but also him being the one to take on trying to explain death to her and doing as a parent would, how he probably did the first time Daley had to deal with death, it's just so relatable how he didn't want to be harsh but needing to be honest.

Julian calling her a "dear, sweet thing", him being the only one to attempt to explain to her how baby's are made (graphic and disturbing as it was), how he's ready to tell her the truth about Santa but as soon as he's sees the look on her face it's enough to melt his Tory heart is the peak Christmassy scene of that episode for me.

Thomas hugging her at the panto (one of only two hugs we get in this show!) and being so grateful for having her as his manager, how gentle he is when he asks to inspect her hands for the spider bite.

Robin knowing her pregnancy shtick is nonsense but going along with it like a brother being roped into his kid sister's make believe, rubbing her feet for her and sitting with her most of the day, him leaving a party that he loves to take moment to encourage her to cry her feelings out and then helping Mary put her to bed, how she only has to call his name and he's jumping in to scare off the plaguers.

Everything with her and Humphey! How she's the one who is the most concerned about where he is and making sure he's in one piece so he's not left behind, these two have the most adorable Uncle and Niece vibes.

Fanny is the only one I feel the show let slide on having her bond with, I think the most progression they have is Fanny praising Kitty's speaking in S4. Kinda miffed about this one because without Mary and with Alison gone, they're the only girls left and it would have been nice if they'd developed a mother-daughter bond.

Last but not least her and Alison! Their relationship is so important to S3 and how it contrasts to Alison's storyline with Lucy. Even though Lucy turns out to be a fake, it's still a good show of the importance of found family as much as blood family, how Kitty is jealous at first but then becomes the catalyst for figuring out who Lucy really is and protecting Alison from being scammed. It's such an important arc for her character that gets sadly forgotten, how she's not smug with joy that Lucy is gone at the end but just expresses sympathy for Alison losing the sister she never had. "You're the sister I never had" was the line that I first choked up at in this show. Also props to Kitty for literally annoying someone into being a true. best friend, she gives the rest of us losers hope!

Overall just how lucky Kitty is at the end of the day, that yes she had this privileged but ultimately toxic upbringing and died very young - but now she's surrounded by these people who absolutely adore her and might not always cope with it the right way but they just want to protect her because she is so sweet and endearing. If I could add any scene to the finale I feel like Alison should have got to have one talk with Kitty where she assures her that yeah they'll be apart but she's always at the end of the phone and will visit often, but also assuring her that she still has SEVEN people who love her to bits which is more than a lot of us get.

[gloveslut]

i'm so glad you're here. so, so glad.

yeah, baby, i know.

and i'm so sorry.

you don't need to feel sorry. it was not your fault.

maybe, but you want me to be. i'm afraid you won't forgive me, even.

i'm afraid of that, too. but i want to be able to do it. so bad. you can't even imagine.

i don't care. i think i must be thankful just for you being here and sharing space with me. it's already such a treasure. anyone else wouldn't give me a single chance. this is not a type of favour you could effortlessly forget. it means the world to me.

and you know that i wouldn't call you if i didn't want to? like, i really missed you.

so honest today, ain't you?

i want you dead, but only by my hands. i'm too tired of fighting my own feelings. and now it doesn't make sense. what could possibly be better than this? i've got you and your time. i decide where and when you go.

and i appreciate that. i need something that would keep me here. at least for a while. something like a beloved pet or a sibling.

you found a way to call me a dog again, huh? i know i'm all you've got. and i won't let you down.

you regret me.

kinda.

okay. are you sure there's nothing to be worried about? for me?

i am. things take time. at the end of the day, i've got you.

you're so proud of that.

right. why wouldn't i be? you're so good for me. so tame. patient. that's more than i can ever ask for. and if i have the opportunity to get more, then i can't waist it. i want you all for myself. i need you to just stay. everything would be fine if you would stay. just be here while we process things, while i try to calm down, when you have to be vulnerable. maybe, not here, but with me, you know? i promise i mean well. i hate what you did, but not you. not your attention. not your... or my trust. just... please, don't leave. i'll take care of everything else, if it's so hard for you. i understand. i just want us to win together, not to fight over nothing. so you need to be yourself and try not to lie. there's no need to be brave. sometimes, it's worse if you hide that you are angry at me or you're upset. at least, you have to pay for this. i feel like shit, if you wonder. but i know it's worth it. i can't lose you. even if you try to make me.

chuuya. touch me.

fuck. is it disgusting if i want to?

i don't think so. what's the matter?

i just think i... it's fascinating to see you so sensitive.

oh... i guess i'm not special, then.

oh, it's fucked up.

sure. so will you touch me? pretty please?

no. not now. i'm mad at you.

well, then i'll do it myse- hey!

i said i'm mad. wouldn't you like to do something about it?

oh, you mean like that... o-oh! i forgot! i was about to say... i like someone.

don't play with me.

i don't.

god, why do you sound so serious? i'll ruin you if you make me believe this bullshit. damn. ...who's he?

you think i'm such a manslut? you're just too feminine and don't want to accept it.

i don't give a shit. a name?

i can't answer that type of questions.

a redhead?

you're not the only one-

a redhead.

...yes.

uncomfy stare?

didn't memorize such details. it was really dark, i felt hazy and everything...

fuck. what did he... she say when she made you cum so hard that you were shaking the whole damn day after?

i... i d-don't know.

so that happend? you're cute when you blush. trying so hard to get my attention. i'd call you desperate if i didn't know what you're capable of. what do you think? what if i truly believed in it and killed some innocent dude? like the idea of this, don't you?

i didn't expect you to be this needy.

look at yourself. 'needy'. am i stupid for worshipping the most important thing in my life?

you said you'd ruin me whether i'm cheating or not. i think that's stupid.

oh, you're more stupid for mentioning that. or you want it? i've missed the point when you turned into a hopeless attention seeker. bitch on an invisible collar with no actual right to do anything without permission. but unbeknownst to everyone else, 'cause you're like that just for me. only for me. and if you ever get confident enough to fuck with someone else, it would definitely be someone pretty much like me. want me to ruin you so you could know your price and place. what would you do without me? thoughts go so dark that i'm ashamed to vocalise them. oh, i forgot you're a big fan of fancy words. how lovely. still simply can't get with it and resist the urge to tease you. you know, 'samu... everytime you're being a bastard i wanna go violent. and fuck your brains out of you. 'cause it's hot. you're too perfect for this role so i can't ever be mad at you for that. my head is filled with things i could do to you that i can't find a minute to think about how i hate your stupid jokes. and it's worse when i can't get you. i hate those times the most. 'cause why in the world wouldn't i be able to take what i need from you, someone who i fully own?

chuuya, i wanna cum.

i'll let you soon, darling. i wish you could call my name for infinity. have you ever heard what it sounds like? hell, i wanna bury into you right now.

yes, chuuya, you will if you want, please. i'm so sorry. so s-sorry, oh. god. i don't wanna cry.

it's alright, baby. i'm with you. i love it when you cry. it makes me happy, reassures me that i'm trusted.

i know, it's just awful.

'samu, i love you. you know? love. the highest level of passion. and yet it's not enough to describe everything i think about you. i breathe you. please, don't ever leave. just don't leave. i'll do anything you want. just be happy and live. i'll be around no matter what. you know that. i love you so much. i care about you. hey, hey. what do i do to make you feel better? i don't want you to cease it, just don't want to make it worse.

make me cum. it helps. and you're terribly fine. i want you so bad. just for now... i want your hand on me. your heat. you.

m'kay, 'samu. got you.

and... and- call me that again.

whatever you want, 'samu.

i promise i won't leave this time. promise. really. fuck, sorry. so sorry for you. i'm so insane. how could I ever- oh, fuck. fuck, chuuya, yeah, so good...

stop thinking. now i'm all about you. i'm yours. no one drives me this crazy. no one does it like you do, 'samu. you're so good for me. good boy. fuck. you're so pretty, honey. i wanna be tied to you forever. i wanna be a part of your life 'til i die. and if you die first, i die still being with you. i could never feel someone like i feel you. 's-samu, your hand, please, please... don't be delicate, just move. i need your moves. huh, want it inside? come on, don't be shy. oh fuck. yeah. just don't stop. don't get 'em off. oh my dear. i love you so much. i feel so strongly safe with you. don't ever change.

chuuya, kiss me.

hungry for my lips, yeah?

yeah. i like the sound of them on me. here or somewhere... else. doesn't matter.

oh, yeah? got it. okay. spread 'em wider. you don't mind if i touch you everywhere i could get?

[nonmurdery]

A THOUSAND KISSES DEEP

reader x yoosung | part one

summary: reader escapes rika’s apartment before the bomb goes off in yoosung’s bad ending 1. this uses his dialogue from the game.

author’s note: why am i obsessed with bad endings? i’ll never know! the mc’s personality is derived from how they were in that route. had this in my drafts for a minute, i don't know who'll be her end game, just take this as some angst!!

ps. chatroom formatting probably looks cuter on mobile devices

trigger warnings: major character death

word count: 1,444

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You technically met Yoosung Kim last week.

The same could be said for the entire RFA. Jumin Han, V, 707, Jaehee Kang, and Zen. You've learned that the RFA is short for Rika’s Fundraising Association. You started texting them after receiving mysterious messages from an Unknown contact to go to the apartment you'd start living in. Yet you haven't met any of them in person.

Being separated by a phone screen didn't stop you from pursuing Yoosung. He's a cute SKY University student around your age. His inexperience kindled the spark between you two. You couldn't have been expected to pass up the opportunity! Not when he was clearly desperate for a partner. As were you. Your self esteem was in the gutters and the loneliness within you had become so voluminous as of late. The RFA has helped out with that.

Chatting with the RFA throughout your day wasn't difficult. Although planning their next party had its challenges. They helped you with whatever they could. Mostly with recommending guests while you picked the theme and most everything else. The best part? You were getting paid for your services.

In short: plenty of unexpected things happened to you this week. Most of them being new beginnings for yourself and the RFA. Yoosung showing up to the apartment by himself proved itself to be the most unexpected.

Intruder found. Special security system attack mode initiated.

“Did you hear that?” Your eyes wandered the room.

The bomb. You remembered it, well, you didn't forget about it either. It terrified you and made it difficult for you to get a full night's worth of sleep. No RFA member was supposed to enter this apartment—707 was still working to deactivate it. Your throat suddenly felt tight. Instead of feeling excitement upon meeting Yoosung, terror swamped your senses instead. Every fiber in your body yelled that you run. There's still time to get out of here.

Yoosung paid no attention to your words nor the alarm. “Reader … But you’re not blond like Rika … ?”

Sensing location of intruder … adjusting target …

“You cannot be serious! I was kidding about that.” You yelled, your eyes saucer-wide.

Is this his truly greatest concern? Your hair wasn't made up of the same lion's mane of loose curls as Rika’s was. Regardless, the ticking bomb that's about to go off was of more importance, to you, it seemed.

He stared at you with his large violet eyes, a cloud of confusion passing over his face. He looked exactly like the photographs he’s shared in the messenger. Short blond hair that pointed in every direction, a lithe build, and baby-faced. Your heart thrashed against your ribcage, thumping at a terrible pace. If you didn't start moving, you'd faint. Or worse, you'd die.

“And you don’t have her eye color … Your hands and face look different too … Is it really you, Reader?”

You answered with a shaky nod. “Yes! It’s me! I’m not some doppelgänger or any other look-alike. None of that matters, we need to get out of here, Yoosung.”

This changed from what you said in the messenger earlier. You spoke about how you'd need to become like Rika in order to be someone special to him. It shocked you to know he processed all of those texts you sent. For some reason, that made you like him even more than you did before.

Orders to destroy all information for the sake of protection. Activating system destruction.

“Oh … I’m sorry. I guess I just thought that you’d look exactly like Rika. But you don’t.”

You were beside yourself with frustration. “I still own you. That means we'll do what I say, let's go.” You slipped your arm through his elbow and yanked him toward the door.

It was mostly your fault for why he’d come to such assumptions. You told him that you'd be his Rika and replace her. Still, they made you a little queasy. Physically being here with him felt different than typing letters on a screen. You felt a connection to him.

“We’re not going anywhere! I ran over here because no one in the RFA helped Rika when she took her life away.” He wrenched himself out of your tight hold.

15 seconds left … 14 seconds …

Stand here and listen to his spiel, or run now and have a chance at living? You told him that you'd take care of him. That he'd be your pet and that's what you wanted. In the face of life and death, you knew what to do. You weren’t going to die for someone who looked at you with disdain for not matching their cousin in appearance. Someone who barely knew or liked you. Two days ago, you would have done anything to be accepted by him and be in charge of his life. The truth is, you barely knew Yoosung beyond the color green, LOLOL, and Rika.

Dying wasn't worth it. Not here, your life has just started.

“Yoosung, come with me. Running here won't matter if you don't run now! We’ll talk about everything after.” He looked unphased by your words, as if they held no weight to him.

Throwing one final glance at Yoosung, you darted out of Rika’s apartment as quick as a shooting star. You could only hope that he's shortly behind. Your heartbeat thrummed in your ears while the sounds of your footsteps pounded with them. Or they might've been his footsteps, listening to what you had to say after all.

Taking the elevator would've been a foolish decision. You ran down the hallways, knowing that 707 watched them through the CCTV. That explained the notification that made your phone buzz in the back pocket of your pants. It had to wait. You made it to a large stairwell that descended to the lower floors. Did V really have to purchase an apartment on the 14th?

Sucking in a breath, you headed down the staircase. You ran down the stairs faster than you knew that you could. The seconds counted down in your mind until a loud bang issued from behind you, startling you enough to fall. You hit the ground hard. Even with your eyes squeezed closed, you saw the light of fire beyond your eyelids.

None of this would've happened if he listened to you. You held your consciousness and managed to get to the 1st floor. When you got down there, firemen were making their way up, up, up. Sirens and screams glided to your ears as you fled the building.

A cold breeze lanced into you. From your peripheral vision, you saw ambulances, more fire trucks, and police cars coming down the streets. Nighttime stretched over the sky, littering it with glittering stars and fluffy see-through clouds. When you lifted your eyes up to Rika's apartment, there were fat tendrils of smoke rising into the air from the building's roof, like a soul ascending from their body.

“Yoosung! Yoosung, you idiot!” Your scream got gobbled up by the street’s cacophony. Tears pricked your eyes and you let them slide down your face. His death is on your shoulders. That's if he died. But you couldn't see a way that he could've survived.

You held yourself, squeezing your upper arms. Interviewers raced to the scene with their cameras and microphones. Your neighbors sprinted outside with some of their belongings, their mouths gaping. That's when it hit you that you only brought one thing.

“Do you know what's going on, Reader?” A woman with watery eyes asked. You bumped into her once in the lobby and talked about the weather.

You watched the flames. “I …” You wet your dry lips. “I need to go.”

Walking to the nearest alleyway, you whipped out your phone. The app was bursting with messages, most of the RFA members are active.

READER has entered the chatroom.

Jumin Han

Did everyone see the news? I'm watching it live now.

Jaehee Kang

? Mr.Han

ZEN

What news?

Jumin Han

There was an explosion at [ADDRESS] on the fourteenth floor.

Jaehee Kang

Goodness…

Jumin Han

The occupants are currently evacuating the building.

READER

HELP! I think Yoosung got cahgt in the fire!

707 has entered the chatroom.

ZEN

Yoosung?! Oh no...

Zen

Reader are you alright?!!! Tell me you're alright.

707

…

707

..

707

.

707

On my way.

READER

On your way here?

707 has left the chatroom.

ZEN

stay where you are, Reader!

ZEN

I'm sure that he has a plan…

Jaehee Kang

I agree with Zen.

Jaehee Kang

What happened to Yoosung, Reader?

Jumin Han

I can only hope for the best.

READER has left the chatroom.

[differenteagletragedy]

Could we have a part 2 for the emotionally negligent and abusive parents? Sort of AU. But specifically in step 3, the MC opening up to Baxter for the first time while baking cupcakes or maybe after the cafe incident? :D (sleepy Baxter is adorable, I love him AAAA)

Oh no ouch :(

-- Ok, let's do after the cafe incident. You'd told him that you could spend time together that day, but it would have to be early because you had plans with your family, and he didn't want to push it to another day because he was so excited to see you, so he made the morning date.

-- But this time around you're dreading the family time, not excited about it. But Baxter doesn't know the situation yet, or if he does he just knows very vague info.

-- So Sleepy Baxter attacks, all that happens. It IS adorable. You were happy to get to spend some time with him ahead of the sure-to-be horrendous rest of the day, but seeing him all sleepy and confused and precious was an extra little treat. You make it to the cafe, he's all focused on his own self-loathing for not being a morning person (Baxter please allow yourself to be a human being).

-- He forgets his wallet, gets upset about it, you cover him, he's in a bad mood, all normal.

-- Then you get back to the neighborhood, he parks in his usual spot and you both get out. The bad part of the day is about to start, the part that was supposed to be good WAS good but took a turn, so maybe you're a little anxious, however that presents itself.

-- As much as Baxter is hardwired at this point to criticize himself and lean into all that, he notices that you're acting off. He apologizes again for everything, but you can't stand him thinking so little of himself, and the idea that he'd think your current mood was because he overslept and made you pay a couple of bucks for a coffee for him was just not gonna fly.

-- So you tell him, standing there in the street, what's going on. That spending the day with your family isn't going to be fun, that usually you and your parents just sort of avoid each other but being in close quarters with them, pretending to be a happy little unit despite what really goes on at home is going to be miserable. He is all ears, rapt attention. Totally forgets the wallet thing, because what's important is you.

-- He knows exactly how it feels, to have to pretend like that, how it feels when the people who are supposed to love and care for you the most simply don't. There's a little voice in his head, telling him not to get too close because he knows how he's going to leave. It's trying to tell him to make things light, to offer general sympathies, to be polite but at a distance.

-- But you're sad in the same way that he's been sad so many times, and he just can't. So instead he listens. He wouldn't want to take over the conversation by talking about his own similar problems, but he'd let you know he relates, and if you wanted to talk about that more then he would. He wouldn't bare his soul or anything, but he'd let you in on this, because there are little moments throughout the summer where he'll give in to what he really wants, which is to be close to you, and not at a safe distance. This is one of those moments.

-- He might try to get you out of it. If you were down for it, he'd help you make up an excuse, he'd even call your parents for you to weave whatever tale you came up with. But if you thought it would be better to just get it over with, then he understands. He'll ask you if you want to come over when you get back home.

-- When you're gone, he's a mess. You're already in an established relationship -- one that you both know is just for the summer, but still. He knows he's going to cut ties when he leaves, that's just the way it's going to go, there aren't any other options for that. So how close is too close now? Where's the line of being too supportive, too boyfriend-y? Should he pull back? Would that be worse? He knows you don't have anyone else who understands what this is like, so would it be better to have that kind of support while he's here, or would that just make it cruel when he ultimately pulls away?

-- By the time you do get home that night, Baxter is exhausted. He didn't sleep much the night before, and he'd been so in his head the entire time you were gone. He wanted to be the guy that does the right thing, but he doesn't think he's capable of it.

-- Still, when you walk over at the end of the day and knock on his door, he's ready to welcome you inside. You can talk more, and he'll listen. As much as he considered it, when you're right there in the moment, either visibly upset, trying to hold it together or just resigned to the situation, he can't do it, he can't put you at a distance.

-- Before you leave for the night, he'll let you know that his door is always open, all while that little voice is begging him to stop. But he won't -- his door is always open, whenever you need it..

[kaeyas-beloved]

Voicelines: Kaeya’s Birthday

Characters: Jean, Lisa, Klee, Diluc, (Y/N), Kaeya

Summary: Some people have some things to say in regards to today…

Genre: Fluff/Mild-Angst + Snippets

CW: romantic Kaeya x gn!reader & platonic for everyone else, not proofread

a/n: I uh wanted to try doing voicelines and what better opportunity than doing it for Kaeya’s birthday (yes I’m late but shhhhh)! Happy Birthday Kaeya <333

Jean

“Even though today is his birthday, Kaeya refuses to stop working. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s dedicated or simply forgot the date. Regardless, he should take the day off and enjoy himself.”

Lisa

“Kaeya doesn’t really celebrate his birthday. The most he’s ever done was drink himself silly and hardly anyone can consider that celebrating. Still, I’m sure there’s a reason behind it. Oh? You’re curious? Try asking (Y/N), cutie, they may know.”

Klee

“Today is Kaeya’s birthday! Klee heard that Amber is planning a surprise party for him later. Will you come too? There’ll be loads of yummy food and drinks. Oh and cake too! Klee hopes she made a good gift for Kaeya…”

Diluc

“It’s been a long time since either of us celebrated. Times were… simpler back then. Every year though Kaeya never fails to ask if he could get a drink on the house. Of course, I say no.

The staff at the winery miss him too and keep asking me to invite him over. Even if I wanted to, Kaeya always finds a way around it. So there’s no one to blame but him on that front. Must he make everything so difficult for me though?

*sigh* I digress. Traveller, one last thing. Could you deliver this bottle for me? I have no doubt you know who the receiver is.”

(Y/N)

"This year, I hope to make it the best for my lover. If you couldn’t tell, Kaeya gets… weird about his birthday. Yes, weirder than normal. Do I know why? I do, but it’s not my story to tell Traveller.

On top of the party, I have many presents for him for when we get home. Some material, others not so much. I’ve always had trouble picking out gifts, but it’s even worse when it comes to Kaeya. Still, it was fun. I’m smiling? I can’t help it, not when it comes to him and what he does to my heart.

...Do you think he’ll like this? It’s a feather earring. Did you know that Kaeya's vision isn't like the others? It's missing a set of feathers - the feathers required to fly.

...I want to give him his freedom. Even if it's only a little. Even if it's only for a day. He deserves that and so much more.

Kaeya

“When were you going to tell me about the party? Haha, I’m kidding. How did I know? Let’s just say I’m not a captain for nothing. Don’t worry, I'll act surprised when the time comes.

This is the first year (Y/N) will celebrate with me as my significant other. I’m truly blessed to have them in my life.

…Weird? Who told you that? (Y/N)? Oh, I see. I do tend to forget or celebrate in untraditional ways, there’s no denying that now that it’s out of the bag, but I wouldn’t go as far as weird to describe it. You think so too? I’m wounded.

(Paimon: “Uh! I don’t see why (Y/N) decided to get you anything. How do they deal with you!?”)

Wait. They got me something?

…

I can’t wait to see it. :)

Very important addition: Kaeya is teary eyed and smiling softly when he hears you got him a gift <3

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kaerui-kaisen // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @lemontum // @akiria12167 // @ari-the-wr1ter // @dontmindmebeing // @stage-lucida

…

Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!

[coward-draws]

So, my autocorrect keeps changing Chloé with Zoé so I’m inspired and there’s a new au now

Zoe is a cuckoo chick. Chloe knows it at her heart. She may have never paid attention in class, she may have made Sabrina do all her homework, but this thing is what she remembers. Cuckoo chicks steal everything from nests’ rightful owners. Now she regrets being a bad student. Oh, how she regrets. Zoe is taking her place, and she doesn’t know any ways to stop her.

It’s all magic things.

Her class is now Zoe’s. Adrikins is sharing secrets with her now. Sabrina sitting with her and Kim gifting her sweets.

Her miraculous is now Zoe’s. Queen Bee were way more stylish than Vesperia! But now it’s not important, as Ladybug gives her fistbumps and citizen praise her.

Her father is now Zoe’s. Where were those hugs and little smiles, when he was hers!? Chloe only got money and cameras but Zoe is getting this all and more.

Worst of all — she doesn’t get to keep anything at all.

No one recognises her on streets.

Web searches show Zoe as “Mayor’s daughter”.

Mommy does not remember not only her name, but also that she was a hero. And Mommy never, never forgets what was said on camera!

“Pack your things,” said Mommy to her. “We are returning to New York.” It was all that she wanted just two months ago, but now? She wants Mommy recognises her.

Ladybug gave her a polite smile, like those she gives to strangers. Were disappointed looks terrible? Yes, but this is so much worse. She really, really wants Ladybug recognises her!

Oh, thinks Chloe. There is a person who always knew her. Someone gross and terrible, but always present. Someone Zoe wouldn’t steal from her, like she wouldn’t steal mud from under her shoes or bugs from her favourite plants.

Marinette answers the call, and Chloe shivers. She really-

“Excuse me,” says Marinette. “Do I know you?”

Chloe cries.

[m1d-45]

I wanted to write something to add onto the creator-with-major-trust-issues scenario but the words are not coming to me. So I will leave you with what little I have managed to put into words and hope that it’ll be enough to convey what I had in mind:

“Perhaps the Kamisato Clan of the Yashiro Commission was born to protect deities.” ← Ayato’s mother once said this (from Character Story 5)

“Everything comes at a cost.” ← said to the Traveler in About Kamisato Ayato: Price to Pay

The meaning of these two statements changed drastically before, during, and after the hunt for Ayato.

“Trusting another person isn't easy, especially for someone of high status. Place your trust in the wrong person, and it can quite literally cost you your life. But you have placed your trust in me, and of course I will not let you down.” ← said to the Traveler in About Us: Trust.

Ayato values trust, yet he easily trampled all over the Creator’s trust in him. He was once one of their highly favoured. And yet, he cruelly deceived them when they needed him the most. How does he feel, realising this?

- cryo anon

oh my god. oh my god. cryo anon. CRYO. bro forget the o im just gonna cry-

“trusting another person isn’t easy, especially for someone of high status.”

ayato, who holds loyalty in such high regard. ayato who’s been betrayed so many times in the past, who always has to be on edge, so having someone to rely on is something of incredible importance to him. he holds himself to the same standards, of course, never making promises he can’t keep, never lying unnecessarily.

when the hunt comes, he’s one of the first to take action, immediately telling the shuumatsuban to keep watch at ritou in case you showed up, always keeping up to date on your last known location. he regularly reports to the one on the throne once you make your way to inazuma, always promising he’s doing everything he can to keep their honor in place.

and he means it, really. he visits the city often in hopes of hearing any news, pouring every single resource he has into funding and hunting you, all in the name of the divine.

kamisato ayato is loyal above all else, and he will put aside all of his personal affairs to prove it.

“place your trust in the wrong person, and it can quite literally cost you your life.”

imagine his horror once he finds out. imagine the deep pit that opens in his stomach, swallowing his heart and eating at his lungs. it would hurt as a physical pain, the letter slipping from his hand- or maybe he’s in a meeting, and has to stay composed even as his heart races, has to keep up his image because he can’t show even a flicker of weakness.

definitely blames himself, despite the fact that the fraud was the one that manipulated him. he’d been in charge of inazuma’s festivals for years, he’s made so many minor changes to the flower or color choice simply based on you and what your vessels knew of you. everything he did was in one way or another for you, whether direct or indirect.

and he couldn’t recognize you when you were standing right in front of him.

“but you have placed your trust in me, and of course i will not let you down.”

he’s not selfish or cocky enough to think an in-person apology is the best course of immediate action. no, he’s well aware that seeing him could make everything worse, he knows he’s not the one you need to see. he knows the best thing right now is to give you space and let you heal, and to do his best from afar.

he hates seeing you flinch. he hates when you hesitate before grabbing something, he hates the small leaf you check your drinks with, he hates it because he contributed to your distrust of everyone around you, and all he can do is pray for forgiveness.

you’re the creator. the highest of the high. you should never be afraid, you should never doubt your surroundings, you shouldn’t be scared in your own home, and yet you are, and at least part of it is his fault.

ayato places such importance on trust, on loyalty, and yet he’d broken yours, the one person who he should never make afraid. all that he was was dedicated to you, and yet he only recognized you once it was too late, once you were bleeding out and his sword was stained blue.

he’s set the sword that hurt you—the one that you’d been so kind as to give him, the very symbol of his heresy—on a stand in his bedroom, blue blood still dried on it. it’s not a trophy, never, he’d never be proud of hurting anyone, let alone you, in such a way. no, that sword is a reminder, one he refuses to clean until he’s regained your trust. he will not wield your blessing until he has earned it, and will not wipe himself clean of the blame until you have forgiven him for it. why would he, when your opinion of him is the only one that matters?

it’s been nearly a year. dust has long-since settled over the blade, into the gaps between the wrap of the handle. still, he refuses to touch it, climbing into bed every night without much more than a longing look and a quick prayer.

he’ll wait however long it takes until he’s worthy of it.

[loadednachosao3]

Any tips for someone who wants to get better at creative writing?

hoo boy there are a ton I could give! let's see if I can't think of some that might help!

first, read! read, read, read! read things you like, that engage you and make you feel something, and then read writing advice to figure out how to translate what you felt and what you liked into writing that makes someone else feel just as good (or sad, or angry, or whatever, LOL). Stephen King's book On Writing is a solid place to start -- learn from the people who have made writing their lifeblood! go to the library's 800s section and find all the writing tips books you can get your hands on! I STILL read those 19 years into writing!

don't try to edit while you write (small edits are fine so you don't forget them, but don't overdo it). remember: first draft, worst draft! the important part is getting the backbone of the scene down. once that's there, you can mix and match and scramble it up and change words and delete shit and do all sorts of things! I actually enjoy the editing process, since it makes everything come together. don't think "oh, this is so bad, I have to edit so much, I suck." try to frame it as, "damn, look how much writing I did! this is an awesome base to polish up! it's gonna be so rad once I correct these mistakes!"

on that note: there WILL be mistakes. you'll miss plot holes, forget shit, write stuff that doesn't make sense, whatever. beta readers are great for this, since a fresh set of eyes will be able to catch things you didn't. or do what I do: throw caution to the wind, post it, and if someone catches a mistake, say "oops!" and find a way to fix it, retcon it, or ignore it. either 1: you're writing fanfiction or something similar, so it really doesn't matter that much if you fuck up, or 2: you're aiming to be published, and an editor will help spot and fix those things for you anyway. don't let making mistakes discourage you, we all make them!

if you have tropes/character types/plotlines you like, don't let anyone stop you from writing them again and again. you know how many stories Stephen King writes about a writer from Maine with interpersonal issues who goes through supernatural shit? and look where he is! what you WANT to write will always be better than what you THINK people want to read! readers can sense passion. use that to hook them!

it is 100% okay to use your writing to work through things, on that note. encouraged, as a matter of fact! lots of great writers have underlying themes in most/all of their works. depression. substance abuse. daddy issues. optimism. pessimism. worldviews. whatever! doesn't have to be bad, but if it IS bad, writing is a phenomenal way to channel those feelings! don't let any shitty weirdo ever tell you anything else. projecting your emotions onto fictional characters is a very highly recommended therapeutic technique, so use it! (lbr, even if you don't do it consciously, you WILL do it subconsciously. sorry about that)

mmmmmblock out the haters! that is, don't let people tear you down and make you feel like you shouldn't write anymore! no matter your skill level, if you have something to say, something you want to see play out, make it happen. everyone else can suck a duck

figure out a plotting style that works for you. for some, it's a rigid outline with every conversation accounted for. for others, it's a looser one, some ideas and scribbled notes of general directions with the rest to be filled in as you go. for others still (this is mostly my style), you just start writing and see where it takes you. very chaotic, but very fun! I also like to have vivid daydreams sometimes and then just write them down. whether I do that or learn where the scene is going as my fingers are on the keys depends on the day. no method is better or worse, so do what feels right!

jot down inspiration in a notepad or on your phone or whatever's around as it comes to you. could be as simple as "this exchange I heard caught my attention" or "that gravestone has a badass surname I'd love to use for a character," or as complex as "I want to explore the themes of grief and trauma that that other book did, but with my own twist on it." a word. a color. a feeling. keep a list of everything that makes you want to write, and use it later!

if you really hate your first draft, scrap it! if you hate your second, scrap it! if you hate your third... you can always start fresh!!! don't sit around thinking, "aw beans, I couldn't get it right on the first try, I must not be a real writer." not every idea's gonna be a winner, not every scene is gonna work out! you gotta keep on keeping on, though! don't give up even if you hate it!!!

uhhhh that's all I can think of rn... the rest would be more stylistic/grammatical/nitpicky tips, which I CAN give, but maybe in a different post? let me know if you guys would ever like an insight into how I edit my stories with tips like that in mind, and maybe I'll make a lil guide!

but in general, yeah, those are my big, sweeping tips! hope they helped at least a little!