#ok maybe my mommy issues are coming a little bit here

[thir10th]

hi love! i'd like to req emily smut, maybe a little more on the rough side if you'd be comfortable with that, where she gets jealous over reader and shows that through sex

if you want something less vague, it could be when reader brings emily lunch to her office and morgan keeps flirting with her, leading to some action in emily's office

I'll be doing these two together cause why not. I hope you don't mind! thanks for requesting, and I hope you liked it!!

jealousy - Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

summary: see the asks, it's a mix of both, it kind of took a turn, but i hope you still enjoy it! tw: jealousy, a very poor try at dom Emily, fingering, breast play?, idk tws are so hard once you've finished writing🥲, i think that's it lmk if i'm missing smth a/n: no idea if there's a way for me to link both asks here, someone lmk if there is

It's only 8.00 am when you enter the police station, two bodies in the past 12 hours required the early hours, everyone had to be focused, your mind had to be only in one place. However, this wasn't the case for all the people on that room.

The local police officer at the head of the case had some other things in his mind.

He starts by boldly checking you out, looks at you up and down, stopping and staring at the short tank top you were wearing, which makes you uncomfortable enough to cover yourself with your arms as much as you can.

The look your girlfriend sends to him doesn't go unnoticed to you, you start to believe she will set him on fire just with her stare, she places herself covering your body to shake his hand, which she gripes a bit too harder than the usual.

If you didn't know her any better, you would say she is jealous.

But there was just no way, right? Emily Prentiss doesn't get jealous, she's too confident for that, she has you so well wrapped around her finger, she doesn't need to be jealous. Right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

"so you think this... unsub like you call him, could be on a killing spree because of his mother?" the agent asks you, staring at the last picture you just sticked to the board with a puzzled look.

"we're positive, we've seen this modus before, it's a clear pattern" you explain

"ugh, so talking about mommy issues" you can't help the little snicker that scapes your lips.

He looks triumphant, fully believes he's got you under his spell. He couldn't be more wrong.

The familiar hand that slides behind you on your lower back makes you jump, Emily comes around you, standing closer than she usually does.

"hey, what were you talking about?" she asks, tilting her head.

"oh, nothing just the case" you say, unbothered.

"just the case huh?" you turn your head to see how she's staring at him, as he walks away from you both.

"Em? what is it?" you ask suspicoisly.

"nothing, i just don't understand, what could be so funny if you were just talking about the case..." she says sarcastically

"oh my god" you try to keep your voice down, but the excitement is still noticeable "oh my god, Emily, you're jealous!"

"what? What do you mean I'm jealous?" her voice a couple octaves higher, making it so obvious to you she's lying.

"that's not even a real answer!" you say.

"ugh..." she lets out one of those little sounds she always makes when she knows she's been caught, you think it's adorable.

"ok, so maybe... maybe I just... don't like the way he looks at my girlfriend, so sue me!" she tries defending herself, but you couldn't take it seriously for your life, you find it adorable, the slight pink tinting her cheeks, her reassuring hand still resting on your lower back.

"Emily, c'mon, you know i love you" you kiss her cheek, she kisses you back but still doesn't look so convinced.

The thing is, you could not be any less attracted to that man, there was no way in the world you would find his flirting any appealing, but the idea of teasing Emily sounds too exciting.

A little fun never hurt anyone, right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

"...hellooo, earth to Prentiss?"

Morgan waves a hand in front of Emily’s face and she’s brought back to reality.

"what?" she asks.

"i said, could you please put your frown away, you're scaring Reid" Spencer doesn't even hear the comment, too focused on the case file to even pay attention to the conversation that was taking place right beside him.

"my frown is just where it has to be, thank you" she says raising an eyebrow at that.

Derek gives a scoff, and Rossi chuckles at the whole stupidity of the situation. “If y/n can’t feel your stare burning a hole in her back, when she turns and sees you, she’s sure gonna think you're planning a murder.”

"i might just be" she mutters

"I think I know what's going on" Rossi intervenes "she isn't looking at y/n" he explains pointing at you "I think someone might be jealous"

You are only a few feet away, discussing your last findings with the detective, trying to laugh at every little thing he says, making sure Emily is watching.

"I'm not jealous" she defends "she is so clearly not interested, but what if she needs me to step in?" her attempt to make up a good excuse isn't good enough for any of them to buy it

"if that helps you, but all i can hear is jealousy" a big, cocky smile spread on Morgan's face, it's only making her angrier

"c'mon, or we will too have to face the consequences of the territorial monster of jealousy when it explodes" Rossi says, dragging Morgan away

"yeah, mark your territory" Morgan laughs, while Emily gives him the finger "go get her lover!"

It's your loud chuckle that draws the line for her. When you finally get away from the persistent officer, you turn to see Emily isn't there anymore, taking your phone you see 2 new message from her.

From Em💕: you better knock your shit off baby.

From Em💕: That's it. You're so in for it later.

That one makes your heart throb, it shortly makes you wonder if you had taken it too far. This was not gonna end well for you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Hotch decides to call it for the day, sending you off to start fresh in the morning, when a male voice you had heard enough already, calls your name

"Agent, I was wondering if you would be in for a drink with me?" he asks, eyeing you up and down yet again.

You are so sure you would find it just as disgusting if you weren't so gay, and so in love with your girlfriend.

"oh, sorry but no, actually, I-" a much more familiar female voice interrupts you "she's with me" Emily says.

He can't believe his eyes, Emily wraps her arm around your waist pulling you close to her body "hi babe" she says, kissing your lips, you return the kiss, a bit amused at her jealousy, but loving the possessiveness she was showing.

"Sorry, you were saying?" she asks, the man still open-mouthed, he can't bring himself to even speak.

"nothing... ugh, good night, agents" he dismisses you, and walks away defeated.

Emily and you head out of the bullpen, her arm still securely wrapped around your waist, she slides her hand on your back pocket, grabbing a handful of your ass possessively, making you chuckle.

"wanna talk about it?" you ask her innocently

"oh we are gonna be doing a bit more than talking you and me"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Emily doesn't even leave time for the door to close, and you have a split second to register your thoughts before she closes the door and walks over in one long stride and slams you into the wall.

Her mouth attacks yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, her tongue invading in a fight for dominance, that you just let her win, she is determined to have her way with you, and you aren't going to stop her.

She wasted no time in getting her hands on you, roughly rubbing her hands over your exposed skin. You, however, delicately placed your arms around her neck and when you both pulled apart to breathe.

"what's wrong, Em?" you ask her, breathlessly

"you know what? For starters, I didn't like the way he was looking at you" she starts, her breath warm against your skin, she lowers her head getting your neck, kissing it so sweetly you feel you could melt

she is quick to find your pulse point, mouth-opened kisses all over your skin, she nips all over your spot, which makes you moan

"but then imagine my surprise when i saw you, flirting back" her hand finds her way underneath your shirt, reaching for your breast, she finds no more resistance as you aren't wearing a bra, your other nipple peaking through your shirt in excitement.

She uses her free hand to grip your ass, you jump at the feeling whimpering on her mouth, her closeness only making you more excited.

"but you don't like him, do you, baby?" she asks, teasing you, she leaves a soft kiss on your lips

"he wouldn't stand a chance, we both know men aren't really your type" Emily says lowly, nipping at the tender spot behind your ear. 

She slips her leg between yours, a soft moan escapes your lips.

"so you just wanted to make me jealous" you're too deep in her dominance to even register anything, letting out soft whimpers every time her thumb brushes against the nub and grips the soft skin of your breast

"god... Emily" you let out, as Emily pulls your thighs apart with her hand.

"you know, baby, if you wanted me to fuck you, you could've just asked" she attacks your neck again, sucking hard enough to leave purple marks you couldn't care any less about now.

Emily presses her fingertips against the crotch of your jeans "your clothes. Take them off or I'll rip them off" she commands, taking a step back from you, leaving too little space to maneuver.

You knew better than to tease her when she was like this. A shiver of excitement runs through your back, and you comply.

You take your jeans off then, your shirt, quickly throwing them somewhere far on the room.

You move to kiss her again, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her in for a kiss, but she doesn't let you, instead she grabs you by your thighs, lifting you up.

You wrap your legs around her waist, she carries you to bed, laying you down just harshly enough to make you even more excited for whats to come.

"you are gonna do exactly what i ask you to tonigh, you know why, baby?" you hold your breath, you're not sure if she actually wants you to answer, but you try nonetheless "because I'm yours"

Your answer seems to satisfy her, as she begins kissing her way down your body, taking special care to nip at your collarbone and stomach to leave more marks than the one's on your neck.

The soft cloth of her shirt rubs against your skin and as if just now realising she was still dressed, you grab the hem of her shirt and help her take it off, throwing it somewhere in the vicinity of the room, like you had done with your own clothes.

And not a moment later, she is back to kissing your body, stopping suddenly when she reached the hemline of your underwear.

Her hand navigates down them, she dips low enough to collect your arousal on her fingertips before rubbing your clit forcefully. Your body reacts immediately, curling forward. "Em!" you moan

"what's wrong baby? Cat got your tongue? use your words, if you want me to stop the teasing, just say it"

"fuck...Em, please, I'm yours, please Emily, yours" you confirm, closing your eyes and letting your hips rock against her hand.

“Who are you this wet for?” Emily demands, nipping at your earlobe.

"just you" you whimper, desperation starting to build in your lower stomach

"that's right baby" the cocky smile on her lips makes your eyes roll. You obviously loved slow, romantic love making with your grilfriend, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't love this side of her just as much.

She continued to move her fingers inside of you and you met each thrust but you almost fell apart when she pressed her thumb against your clit and rubbed hard.

She uses her free hand to play with your breast, you let out a gasp when her tongue moves over it spurred you on and she begins to gently suck on it while her hand still caressed your other breast. 

You melt into the mattress at her words. "let go, c'mon baby, I got you" you cum on the spot, as she fucks you through your orgasm, she let's you ride your high.

Emily lays down beside you as you come down from the climax, she kisses your lips softly, lovingly this time, less urgent.

"you know i didn't mean any of it right? I was just playing with you, i love you. He didn't stand a chance" you try to clarify

"yes baby, i know, i love you too, i wasn't so harsh with you right?" she asks concerned. Sometimes you can't believe how Emily's mood changes so fast, from all dominating, incredibly sexy, to concerned, soft girlfriend.

"Em, it was perfect" you say, grabbing her face and pecking her lips "you are perfect" you kiss her again.

"well, good, because we're just getting started, i'm not sure you've learned your lesson yet" she grins.

"Like i said, I'm all yours, agent Prentiss" she sits to straddle you, and you grab her face to pull her in for another kiss.

Emily caresses your neck with her thumb, looking at the purple marks she had previously left "this will be hard to cover tomorrow"

"who says I'm covering them?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Sitting on your usual spot on the plane, you lay behind Emily's amr, resting your head on her shoulder as she reads.

You aren't oblivious of the look on Morgan's face, right in front of you.

The shirt you chose had your neck and cleavage all on display, small and big purple marks cover your skin.

He stares bluntly at you, a cheeky smile covering his face "So y/n, looks like you and Prentiss had yourselves a good night. Care to share?"

Emily gives him the finger.

"in your dreams" you say.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

wow! a lot longer than i expected it to be! finishing this one gave me a headache so please like and reblog if you liked it, and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! <333 reqs still open as always!

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

you’re in disbelief at the truth jungkook shared with. his ex-fiancée, nara, would hurt him too and just as your mother said, he kept it under wraps just like you had to. you wrap your arms around jungkook’s small waist and squeeze pull him closer to you for a hug. not only is he comforting you but you’re comforting him too.

you are both two soul who have been hurt by those they’ve loved and you want nothing more than to help jungkook heal but how can you when you’re trying to heal yourself?

now that that golden tint has been erased, you weren’t sure jungkook found you ‘attractive’ or ‘desirable’ anymore yet here he is still admitting to being in love with you, if not more. you let your walls down because you trust him and despite all the shit you’ve been through, you still have a heart of gold.

but it still hurts to know that these people have physically and emotionally hurt you. he wants to hurt them for you and when he mentions having the desire to kill your father and ex-boyfriend, you take it as playful banter.

“if you don’t mind me asking, which one of your parents are alive and where is your sister? And when was the last time you saw your ex?” jungkook asks while caressing your shoulders as your head rests on his shoulder.

“both of my parents are alive but we don’t talk. my sister lives somewhere in ilsan and my ex? i don’t know where he is. when i left gwangju and came to busan, i deleted and blocked his number. he could be in hell for all i care”

when you finish talking, you pick your head up to look directly at jungkook and say “i’ve never told anyone about this and i just want to thank you for listening to me. also, next time i see that nara-girl i’m gonna punch her in the face for ever hurting you”

you can’t believe you really shared your truth with jungkook and you feel a little bit better for sharing it with someone. when jungkook asks, (begs) for you to put something on your stomach you stand up on your feet and head to your bedroom “i’ll eat something, let me clean my face up first. i probably look a mess�� you say.

you head into your bathroom, take off your heels, and proceed to wash off all the makeup on your face. when you return, you take a seat next to jungkook but seem a lot more relaxed.

“jungkook, you seriously have no idea how thankful i am for this” you say and when he least expects it, you move closer to him and pull him in a hug.

~🫧

When you surprise him with physical affection, he is not sure how to react because his mind shuts off immediately, your scent is like opium, it’s addictive, and it’s calming him down, the lava of anger, he was feeling when you confessed to being physically abused by those you loved.

You’re so precious and he’s not sure how could anyone ever hurt someone like you. He is so glad that you opened up to him and now he can finally say that you guys are making some progress for real this time and it’s OK if you won’t answer his question about letting him in so he can love you, right now.

you need time and he’s willing to give it to you because the truth is that he’ll always wait for you. “Listen yn.. I know you cannot give me a definite answer right now, but if you don’t mind, can I take you out on a date? I mean I would love to earn your love….” he says, still hugging you and his arms tighten around your waist because it’s just an instinct he has.

“I swear it won’t be awkward— just one chance and if you want, I’ll be completely professional with you when we’re at school.” He assures you.

“how about tomorrow?” Because it is a Sunday and maybe you could go out with Seol? He does deserve to go out, and he would freak out if he got to know that you would be coming.

Please give him a chance because he will do anything for you. Jungkook reluctantly breaks the hug this time is he wants to look at your face and try to you, but you’ve always been really hard for him to read.

And honestly, he cannot wait for Monday to come so he can brag about kissing you to chaeyoung… if she would decides to bother him again.

He cannot wait to tell just how well this night went to eunwoo. He knows he’s going to be so happy. He’s like your number one shipper. “and I won’t accept the offer. I’m gonna stay here because I don’t want to be away from you and Seol cannot deal with separation right now yn.” he looks into your eyes and he watches as you munch away on your food.

You make him so happy, “yn… well I better get going you need to sleep and maybe Seol is still awake waiting for me.” oh, he really doesn’t want to leave but….

“have a good night.. I’ll wait for your text about the date… it’s OK if you don’t want to go I will just think of another way to woo you.”

“also did I mention that how much of a good kisser you are? The best kiss I ever ever had in my life…. I hope I’ll get to experience them quite often.”

He winks at you.

[willievermakeithome]

Oh FUCK OFF TAE SU-MI

[kiatheinsomniac]

I’ve a request :) could you do Loki Laufeyson comforting you after crying?

Of course you can, my love! I hope everything's ok <3 (I put on my mommy issues playlist to write this to so I'm gonna do my best to not project that onto this lol)

You weren't the most social team member of the avengers and preferred to stick to your library that you had gathered in your room in the compound. You think that maybe it's what drew Loki to you in the first place. He knew that he wasn't well-liked after the whole New York fiasco and many of the Avengers made that abundantly clear. But you didn't share in those 'let's discuss how much we don't like having Loki here because he can't be trusted' conversations due to your reserved nature. So, he had found himself spending more time with you than anyone else, hoping that your opinion of him wasn't as low as everyone else's.

The topic had been avoided for a while whilst you taught him about literature. Loki was keen to adjust to modern 'Midgard' and had a love for books already so it seemed to come naturally to him. You'd started off with a range of genres but he seemed to have a love for Shakespeare in particular at the moment so, you were going through Othello (he particularly loved the villain: Iago).

Among one of these reading and discussion sessions, he had asked what you thought of him and was quite relieved to find that you had quite a stand-alone opinion compared to the rest of the team. You had explained that you couldn't say you forgave him because it wasn't your place to do so; you hadn't lost anyone that day. However, you had also expressed that you understood where he had been coming from and he isn't entirely to blame for the way he turned out. You knew that poor or lacking relationships with parents cut deep and had told him that you would never hold it against him, that you were looking forward to seeing him redeem himself to those who he did need to earn forgiveness from.

He was quite taken aback by your take on him and it made him allow himself to grow a little closer to you. He would come to your room often, find you in the kitchen or out exercising - really, wherever people weren't, he was bound to find you.

However, he was quite surprised to one day find you curled up under the duvet of your bed, sobbing. He shut the door behind him, loud enough for you to hear and you instantly shot up, back to the door, wrapped still in your duvet.

"I'm kind of busy..." You bit out.

"Is there anything I can do?" He watched how your shoulders slumped in relaxation when you heard his voice and it made him happy to know that there was a chance that you felt as comfortable around him as he did around you. You beckoned him over with a quick jut of your head.

Loki paced across the room to sit down beside you and you pulled to duvet up around your face, wanting to hide your puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Keeping your head down, you turned to him, hands leaving the warmth of your cover.

"Can I just...?" And you cautiously leaned forwards, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face against his shoulder. He froze for a moment before he turned to face you a little more too, wrapping his arms snugly around your waist and holding you close, a palm splaying out to rub up and down your spine slowly.

"Do you want to talk?" He murmured against your hair, feeling your frame tremble with the sobs that you were trying to quell, finding it much easier to calm down in his arms. You firmly shook your head and he rested his chin atop your head. "Do you want to lay down?" He offered instead and you thought it over for a moment before nodding.

You couldn't see it, but the look of worry softened on his face as you both moved to lay down, hoping that he was helping you somehow. You tucked your chin under his head again and felt his arms wrap around your waist again. You threw one of your arms around him with the other one reached around your front to squeeze one of his hands upon your side. He gently squeezed it back and you pressed your legs to his, comforted by his touch and the mix of his cool body temperature under the heat of your bed covers.

He carefully brought his other hand up to caress your hair, fingers working against the back of your head in the process and you let out a shuddering breath as your body melted against him as though all of its tension were evaporating.

"Don't stop..." You mumbled, taking in a deep breath and smelling his scent of pine and figs, making you wonder whether his cologne was from Earth or not. You took comfort in the fact that something so little could take your attention away from worse things. "This is nice... Thank you, Loki."

"It's not a problem at all, just say if there's anything else you need." You felt him bury his face in your hair and you briefly tilted your head up to meet green eyes that were so soft and kind, you wondered for a moment how on Earth this was a demigod capable of so much damage and destruction. You squeezed him again at realising how much relief he was bringing you without pressing you to talk at all, as though he might suddenly vanish.

"Do you mind if I fall asleep like this? Just for a little while?" He smiled at you and coaxed you to set your head under his chin again.

"Take however long you need."

[folklorelise]

It is now Levi’s turn to turn into a baby!

MASTERLIST

Three different ideas I had to write!

-          Levi as a teen (physically, after Kenny) but still with his adult mind

Levi had to work late as usual, so it was not uncommon for you to go to bed alone. What was more unusual for you was to wake up alone. You dressed up and looked around Levi’s office, but he was not there. Someone knocked on the door and the door opened on Erwin.

“Hey,” Erwin greeted you, “mh, we got a little issue over there, in my office.”

You followed the commander back to his office and found Hange there with a little boy.

“Who’s that?” you asked Erwin.

“You can turn around you know.” Erwin said to that boy.

You could only gasp when you saw him – he looked just like Levi.

“Is that…?” you whispered to Erwin.

“Yes.”

“I can hear you.” Levi said.

“How did that happen?” you wondered.

“We don’t know, probably my fault though.” Hange admitted.

“What now? What do we do?” Levi asked. “I can’t work like this. Why are you smiling like this?” Levi glared at you.

“You’re so adorable.” you cheered, “I’ll take care of your work don’t worry.”

“Maybe you should stay with Y/N, you know until you go back to normal.” Erwin suggested.

Once the both of you were back in his office, you sat at his desk with Levi on his desk.

“Don’t mess my paperwork.”

“You know,” you started, “it is really difficult to take you seriously like this.”

“Start working instead of staring at me like this.”

You were working on his paperwork while he was checking your work in case you were making any mistakes. When it was time to eat, Levi refused to go to the mess hall because he did not want anyone to see him like this.

“You could bring the food here. I’ll wait for you, now go.”

In the mess hall you took two trays and put food on it, but you were obviously struggling to take he both with you.

“Squad Leader Y/N?” Jean asked, “do you need help?” he proposed happily.

“Yes, just help me bring these to the captain’s door please.”

Jean took one of the trays and you both walked to Levi’s office.

“I’ll take this,” you took Levi’s tray in your other hand, “can you just open the door please?”

Jean nodded and opened the door for you and gasped loudly – he saw Levi, a mini version of the captain. Before Levi could say anything, Jean run away apologising for intruding.

“I told you to come alone!” Levi complained

“Eat your food, I’m sure he didn’t see anything. I mean… you’re just as shor–.”

“Don’t even dare to finish that.” Levi cut you.

Jean on the other side never run that fast. He found his friends, out of breath.

“What happened?” Armin asked.

“I- I think the captain and squad leader Y/N,” Jean stuttered, “I think they have a secret child together!”

“What?” Eren questioned him.

“I just saw the captain’s replica in their office. A mini captain! It has to be their child.” Jean explained.

They spent the whole afternoon trying to catch a glimpse of secret child, but none of you left the office.

“Maybe we could climb that big tree over there,” Eren pointed a tree not too far from Levi’s office, “and try to see them from their window.”

They all climbed on the tree but neither of you were in Levi’s office.

“Where are they?” Reiner wondered.

“Oh look!” Eren shouted, “they’re here!”

“Ooh.” they all said at the same time when they saw the captain.

“I can’t believe it.” Mikasa voiced speechless.

Very soon, the whole survey corps knew about that supposedly child. Rumours were flying as fast as Levi when he spots a titan. For dinner, Levi told you to eat with Hange and to bring him food once you were coming back to which you agreed to. Hange and you walked together to the mess hall.

“Did you hear what they’re all saying?” Hange asked.

“Who? About what?”

“Riight, you spent the whole day with Levi. I don’t know why but they’re all saying that tiny Levi is your secret child with the captain.”

“WHAT! Oh no! Wh– No, no, no!” you cried, “this is a nightmare. Although, it is just a rumour, right? No one actually saw Le–,” you paused, “Oh noo, Jean did. “

“What now?” Hange asked you.

“I don’t know. Hange, what do I do?”

“It’s just a silly rumour. One person saw him and the rest of them did not. It’s fine.” Hange reassured you.

When you walked in the mess hall, everyone was staring at you. Hange had to push you to your table because you were just standing there.

“Y/N,” Erwin said, “I can say something if you feel uncomfortable.”

“I– it’s mh… I don’t know.” you responded staring at them. Hearing all of them whispering between them.

Erwin stood up and everyone, naturally, stopped talking. Erwin wanted to tell them that what they heard was not true, but he did not know how. Hange stoop up and looked at Erwin with a look that said, ‘I got this’.

“Y/N does not have a secret child with the captain!” Hange simply said before going back to eat their meal.

That made them stop talking for the night, but they were not convinced by it. They wanted it to be true because who does not like drama. When you went back to Levi, you told him what was happening.

“A secret child?” Levi asked astonished.

“What do we do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“Tell them that you’re actually the captain, not our child. It’s not like this never happened before, and I’m sure this won’t be the last time either.”

“Fine.” Levi agreed after seeing you all panicked about this. “I didn’t know having a child with me was such a repulsive idea.” Levi said before leaving for his room.

“What? No!” you protested, flowing him. “It’s not! I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable about this.”

“Right.”

“It’s going to be weird to say this to a kid, but I love you Levi!” you smiled. “Don’t even think about me not liking the idea of having a child with you. Now let’s continue this conversation once you grew back because this is getting uncomfortable.”

-          Levi as a baby before his mother’s death

The next day, you went to Levi’s room expecting an adult Levi, but you only found an even tinier silhouette than before. He woke up confused and stared at you.

“Hey,” you said, “do you know who I am?”

He shook his head no and rolled up in the blanket. You slowly walked up to him and smiled.

“What’s your name?”

“Levi.” he answered, “you?”

“I’m Y/N.” you smiled.

“Where’s my mom?”

“Oh. She is… she is working. I’ll take care of you in the meantime.”

“Ok.” Levi smiled a little before rolling himself up in the blanket even more.

“Are you cold? Or hungry?”

He did not answer you and just stared at you.

“Mom said we don’t have enough money for food. Where am I?” Levi looked around suddenly scared. “I don’t have any money. Please.” he then started to cry.

“Hey, it’s fine, you’re safe here.” you told Levi. “I know your mother.” but Levi continued to sob, “Her name Kuchel right? She– She has black hair like you and she’s beautiful, just like you.”

Levi stopped crying and stared at you, wiping his tears away with his shirt. He was in his adult size tee-shirt.

“I’m hungry. Does my mom have to pay for it later?” Levi asked you shyly.

“No, it’s free here.” you picked him up and hugged him tightly, “let’s go grab some food okay?”

He nodded and put his arms around your neck and rested his head on yours. Everyone already finished eating by the time you arrived, so you directly went to the kitchen. You took a piece of bread and gave it to him.

“I’m going to prepare some soup for you okay?” you put him down and he sat down eating his bread. “Do you want some water?” you offered once the soup was cooking.

You gave him a glass of water and he smiled at you.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He ate his soup.

“You should eat slower; you’re spilling the soup everywhere.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“WHO’S THAT!” Hange yelled.

Levi run under the table and hugged your leg scared.

“It’s Levi.” you told Hange.

“Hi!” Hanged greeted Levi smiling which only made him hug you tighter.

“You’re scaring him.” you said.

“Oh. Well, I’m leaving, just wanted to check up on you.”

“Finish your soup now.” You told Levi once Hange left. “Come here.”

You took Levi and put him on your leg and started to feed him. Once he finished his food, you went to his office. You started to work on some of his paperwork and Levi would just sit beside you silently. You wondered what he used to do during the day.

“Levi.”

“Mh?”

“What do you want do? What do you usually do?”

“I help my mom clean sometimes.”

“Do you want to clean?”

“No.”

That was a first coming from Levi. For the whole day Levi just sat there silently. At some point his head rested on your leg because he fell asleep. You took him and put him on the couch with a blanket. You sat beside him and started to work again. Levi was peacefully sleeping with his head resting on your thigh. At night, Erwin went by because Hange told him what happened to Levi.

“He’s adorable.” Erwin said once he saw Levi sleeping.

“I know right!” you said cheerfully.

Levi woke up because you moved. He stared at Erwin smiling and pointed a finger at him.

“Big.” Levi said smiling.

“Yes I am.” Erwin said picking him up. “Let’s all go eat alright?”

Cadets were constantly coming to your table to hug Levi. No one knew it was their captain and no one knew where he came from, but they were all smitten by him. Levi did not mind the attention and smiled at everyone.

Levi was getting tired of talking to people, so he came to you and put his arms around you.

“I want to go home to mommy please.” Levi told you.

“Okay.” you whispered. “Let’s go home.”

You grabbed your coat and took Levi with you and left the survey corps headquarters. You walked around a bit outside until Levi fell asleep again. Then you went back home with him. You put him to bed and lay down with him.

-          Levi as a baby after his mother’s death (before Kenny)

Once you woke up, no one was around you. You got up and found Levi sitting in a corner of the room, curled up on himself. He was skinnier than before, and his hair was longer too. You did not know what to do.

“Levi?”

He looked up at you and hold himself closer than before.

“Do you remember me?” you asked him cautiously. You did not know how his mind was working after all these changes, so you wanted to make sure.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“My mom. She’s dead.”

“Oh.” you did not know what else to say. “Mh– I’m sorry.”

Levi then stood up and went straight where you were and hugged you. You had no idea what Levi went through, you knew he used to live in the underground and that his mom died when he was younger. But you had no idea how little food he had to be this skinny. You remembered when he still remembered who he was, he had so many cuts and injuries everywhere.

“Why are you crying?” Levi asked you.

“I– I’m not.” you said wiping your tears away. “Let’s go found you some decent clothes and then we’ll find Hange okay?”

You gave him some of his clothes that were too big for him, but he did not protest. Then you went directly to Hange’s office and opened the door.

“What do we have to do to bring adult Levi back?” you asked your friend.

“I don’t know, I don’t even know why it happened in the first place. I’m sorry.” Hange explained. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, well I guess I’ll let you get back to work then.”

“No stay! Levi can help if he wants.”

You looked at him, but he stayed close to you still holding your hand. He shook his head and reached out his arms so you would pick him up.

“Aren’t you too old for this?” Hange asked which made Levi blush.

“Hange!” you scolded them.

“Sorry! What I meant was… mh – I’ll get back to work now.”

You started to help Hange working while Levi just stood there looking at you both working. He tried not to move too much because he did not want to bother you. He sat on a chair and waited for you to be over so you would bring him to eat something. But neither Hange nor you seemed to be hungry. After a few hours of doing nothing, Levi started to get bored and wandered around Hange’s office/lab. Without doing it on purpose, he stumbled across a box and fell over a cupboard.

“Levi! Are you okay?” you ran towards him worried.

He hit his hard so hard that he passed out.

“I’m bringing him to the infirmary.” you told Hange.

The nurse told you to get him some rest and if he had any more problems once he woke up, then you should come back. You took him to bed and left to work in his office. You went to eat when you noticed that it was already dark outside. You ate at your usual table with Erwin, Hange and Mike with their respective squads. You did not forget to get some food for Levi and went back to his office. When you opened the door, Levi was at his desk, back to normal.

“You’re back.” you said with a smile.

“Yeah, what happened? I vaguely remember turning into a teen but then–” he was interrupted by you throwing yourself at him.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” you cried in his arms, “I saw how you–”

“It’s okay,” Levi whispered, “I’m here now.”

“You were a kid and then you kept changing and then – your mother died, and you were – you looked so tiny and fragile, it just broke my heart!” you whimpered.

“Thank you for taking care of me then.” Levi said smiling at you. “I love you.”

My request are open or if you want to say anything, any suggestions, it’s here!

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑆/𝑂'𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑠 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝐷𝑎𝑑

♡*:.｡.𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰.｡.:*♡

Hongjoong had offered to look after your daughter since he knew you had an interview to go to. He didn't mind having her keep him company at the studio, he usually got very lonely that a tiny bundle of sunshine would definitely brighten up his day. Noticing she was probably bored, just as he was, he thought of something.

"Hey? Princess? Wanna play hide and seek?"

She didn't even respond, she immediately ran out the door to go hide somewhere in the company. Hongjoong giggled and began counting to 20 before scurrying off to go find her. It wasn't difficult for him to find her either, her pink bow was peeking out from the table she was hiding behind in. Hongjoong quietly crept up and peeked his head out.

"Found you!" He exclaimed, which had the little girl bursting into giggles.

"Yay daddy! You found me!"

Hongjoong's heart stopped for a moment before he ended up giggling himself.

"Yes princess. I did find you. Now go hide again so daddy can find you again."

Hongjoong watched as she ran off again, a shy smile on his face as he recalled the moment. He couldn't wait to tell you about it.

♡*:.｡.𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪.｡.:*♡

"Aww come on kiddo. Won't you eat your food?"

Seonghwa felt helpless as the little boy in front of him refused to eat his vegetables.

"I want ice cream." He pointed to the freezer, knowing fully well you and Seonghwa had bought ice cream when you went grocery shopping.

"And you'll get to eat some, but first, you must finish this ok?"

The little boy huffed slightly. He picked up his fork but overall just toyed around with the food, not even taking a bite or even putting it close to his mouth. Seonghwa pouted, feeling dejected and hurt.

"Aww please try some at least. I tried really hard to make it delicious for you." He begged.

You honestly felt sorry for Seonghwa, he had really been trying so hard these days to bond with your son. The boy looked at him when he said that.

"You cooked this?" To which Seonghwa nodded.

The little boy inhaled and then surprised him by saying:

"Ok. I'll try some of daddy's food."

You dropped your own fork when he said that and Seonghwa stared at him in disbelief and then at you. You were both in shock, however the little boy just began eating as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say. Seonghwa was feeling so many things at once and immediately asked.

"Could you please just....say that one more time?"

♡*:.｡.𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸.｡.:*♡

"Sweetie. Get down from there. You might break something."

You felt so embarrassed, having your daughter run around the dressing room and climb on top of things with the members watching you. Yunho however didn't mind, he thought it was cute how active and playful she was.

"Y/N it's ok. We really don't mind." He assured you.

Turning his attention back to the tiny girl, he picked her up and sat her on top of one of the dressers in the room.

"Look at you! You're so tall now!" He chuckled.

The little girl smiled as she peered at Yunho's head.

"I can finally see the top of daddy's head." She blurted out.

Everyone in the room got quiet. Some of the boys were looking shocked while others were trying hard to not burst out in squeals. You felt your face grow red, your hands immediately covering your face.

Yunho began chuckling nervously and covered his face as well.

"Yes babygirl. You're now as tall as daddy."

He couldn't help himself as he picked her up and spun her around, completely unbothered that she thinks of him as her dad. He truly loves it.

♡*:.｡.𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰.｡.:*♡

Yeosang came into your house to find both you and your son restless.

"Everything ok? Am I interrupting?" Yeosang always made sure never to overstep boundaries and not get in the way of you parenting your son.

"No you're not. We're just having a tiny issue." You sighed.

"I wanna go on the school's field trip." The toddler said.

"I know you do honey, but I'm sorry. I have work that day and you can't go by yourself." You tried explaining for the 6th time in a row.

The little boy huffed, arms crossed over his chest. He then looked over at Yeosang and his eyes lit up.

"Well can daddy take me instead?"

You snapped your head in horror at Yeosang, watching as his eyes grew wide, his complexion somewhat turning pale. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die, thinking he was uncomfortable by what the boy said.

"Honey, I don't think Yeosang-"

"I'll take him."

Now it was your turn to be stunned as Yeosang firmly stated:

"I'll go with you on the school trip. Let's have a little bonding time together."

♡*:.｡.𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷.｡.:*♡

From the moment he found out you had a daughter, San was super eager to meet her, be a part of her life. He simply adored kids and loved your daughter as if she was his own.

He did, in fact, think of her as his own kid and wanted her to think of him as her dad hopefully one day in the future. He'd often joke with her and ask her to call him dad, but she'd always just look at him weird.

"Look! I got you this while I was away on tour."

San excitedly handed the box to you girl in front of him. She eyed it curiously before opening it, revealing a large plush toy that made her scream in happiness.

"I knew you'd love it! I saw it and thought of you." He was just as excited as she was.

"It's so cute!" She hugged it.

"Darling. Manners. What do you say?" You reminded her.

The girl bit her thumb as she walked up to San.

"Thank you daddy." She followed it by a kiss to his cheek.

San could hardly believe it. She actually said it and he was over the moon.

"Oh my God! You actually called me dad!"

He beamed with joy as he pulled her into his lap and peppered her tiny head with kisses.

♡*:.｡.𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲.｡.:*♡

When you called Mingi, asking him if he could do you a favor and pick your son up from school, he immediately got up and headed out. He enjoyed spending time with him and wanted to be as helpful as he could be since he knew raising a kid as a single parent was no easy task.

He waited outside the school gates, hoping to spot him there soon. When he saw him come out, he began waving at him, huge grin on his face, not caring if he looked like a total idiot. When your son saw him, he began jumping up and down, waving back and began racing towards him.

"Dad!" He shouted.

Mingi paused when he heard him say that. He looked around, thinking perhaps the kid's father actually showed up or something. But then he felt a tiny body attach itself to his. He looked down to find your son staring at him so purely as he hugged his legs. That's when Mingi realized he was referring to him.

"Did...did you just call me?" Mingi pointed at himself rather incredulous.

When the boy nodded, Mingi burst out into a smile. He picked up the boy and ruffled his hair. It was definitely a surprise, but he wasn't mad. It was a very touching moment for him and he felt like he was truly making an impact in the little boy's life, something he was hoping to achieve.

♡*:.｡.𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰.｡.:*♡

You figured that after finding out you had a daughter Wooyoung would give up trying to pursue you, but you were wrong. Although he was awkward at first, he soon got the hang of helping you out with her. He didn't mind changing diapers or getting up to attend to her when she awoke at night.

Right now he was hell bent on trying to get her to talk.

"Google says she should have been babbling her first words 2 months ago. We got work to do."

So there he was, repeating the word 'mommy' over and over again on various tones and speeds, hoping the girl would follow along.

"Look here. Moooommmyy." He drawled the word out as he pointed at you.

The little girl made several attempts, uttering a few incoherent noises. Then finally she said her first word:

"Dada." She innocently looked at Wooyoung.

Wooyoung was shook to the core and so were you. He just looked at her for a few seconds then turned to you.

"She obviously loves me better than you." He teased.

He then turned back to her and smiled. "Can you do me a favor and say 'DaDa' again?"

♡*:.｡.𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸.｡.:*♡

You were all settled in the living room watching a movie, Jongho and you cuddled up in the couch while your son opted for laying on the floor bundled up in his blankets. He was barely paying attention to the movie, instead playing around with some of the toys scattered around him.

Feeling hungry, he went to the kitchen and took out an apple from the fridge. He then walked up next to Jongho and tugged on his sleeve.

"Dad?" His tiny voice called out.

Jongho immediately looked at him.

"Yes buddy? What is it?"

The boy held the apple out to him. Jongho chuckled as he realized what he was asking for.

"All right don't worry. Daddy's got this."

He effortlessly split the apple open for the boy, who thanked him and then went back to his tiny fort. Jongho turned to you, not understanding why you had that look on your face.

"You do realize he called you 'dad' and you responded like nothing?" You pointed it out.

Jongho was surprised when he realized you were right. He only ended up giggling.

"It did come out so naturally right?" He wrapped his arm around you again and kissed your cheek.

"Maybe it's meant to be this way."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[btsqualityy]

Ava deciding to take a hiatus to spend time with her girls

@leftieaquarius also said: Girl you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for drabble day so get ready for a mountain of drabble requests 😂 for my first request, can I get some angst about Tessa’s rough patch and you can hurt me as much as you want lol and maybe a bit of fluff at the end where everyone comes together to support her to make sure she gets better 😭

Warning: mentions of depression

"Tess?" Ava called out as she opened the door to Tessa's bedroom, frowning when she couldn't see Tessa's face but instead, a lump underneath her bedspread.

"Mmm?" Tessa murmured from her place and Ava walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it.

"You think you might want to get up and come downstairs for dinner?" She wondered. "It might be good for you to move around a little. Might make you feel better."

"Can't," was Tessa's mumbled reply.

"Why not?"

"Can't get up," Tessa whispered and Ava sighed heavily.

"How about if we came up here?" She offered.

"Daddy said we shouldn't eat in our beds," Tessa replied. "What if I spill?"

"Ok, ok, we don't have to do that," Ava quickly backtracked, able to see where her daughter's track of mind was going.

"I really just want to be alone Mommy," Tessa admitted. "I want to sleep."

"Alright," Ava relented. "I'll bring you a tray of food up and you can get it, ok?"

"'Kay," Tessa nodded and after patting the lump of covers, Ava got up and walked out of the bedroom.

...............................................................

"Are you sure that's something you want to do Ave?" Kaiden checked and Ava nodded her head.

"I need to take a hiatus," she said. "Our girls' are struggling and I just can't keep going to work like nothing's wrong."

"But you have a career and responsibilities," he replied.

"My responsibilities here mean more," she shrugged. "Tessa's having this issue with her mental health and Isla feels like she's not getting enough attention. That's not something I can just ignore. I've ignored enough."

"Ave, Tessa's problems aren't your fault," he tried to say but Ava shook her head.

"But they are," she shot back. "She felt like she had to be perfect and not inconvenience anyone which caused her to hold in all of her feelings and emotions and now....now my baby is up there, hating herself."

"Baby, come here," Kade sighed, pulling Ava into his arms as she began to sob.

"I'm selfish."

"Ave, the best thing we can do for Tessa is to be there for her and let her know that we support her," Kaiden began. "We can't get wrapped up in whose fault it was, ok?"

"You're right," she nodded.

"All we can do is just...keep trying to include her, maybe let our family go up and see her."

"For a short amount of time."

"For a short amount of time," Kaiden agreed. "And maybe we can get her to agree to going to therapy because she clearly has a lot of feelings that she needs to work through."

"You're an amazing father, you know that?" Ava said. "Our girls are so lucky, and I am too."

"I'm only as good as the people around me," he replied. "And everything good our girl have in them, it came from you."

"You're a good liar," she laughed, making Kaiden do the same. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kaiden replied, leaning down and kissing her softly.

[sendme-2hell]

Rating the Books I read after Gideon the Ninth (in order) by how well they made me forget my Gideon the Ninth angst

I starred the ones that I actually recommend if you want something similar to gtn.

I was bored so I made this. Mostly just so I can look back at this and laugh at myself in a few months and remember what I’ve read. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

**Harrow the Ninth -Tamsyn Muir 

Summary: A depressed girl has to navigate murder attempts by both the mom and the dad of her dead ex-girlfriend who she can’t remember. She tries to make soup and writes fanfic to cope. 

How well it helped me forget: -100/10 but also 10/10 

Rating explanation: This one gets a 10/10 because it did make me feel better about a *particular* GTN plotpoint which I was very angsty about, but tragically it did make me more feral. After reading it I reread both books so I don’t think it helped me forget my angst. 

Similar themes to GTN: all of it, plus more memes 

I Want to Be Where The Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom 

Summary: Rachel Bloom who wrote the world’s most relatable song: “You Stupid Bitch,” and starred/created in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, writes about having anxiety, feeling like she’s not normal, and Harry Potter fanfic.

How well it helped me forget: 8/10

Rating explanation: For a few minutes I actually did forget about my griddlehark angst while I learned more about Bloom’s life and laughed at the painful relatability of it all. 

Similar themes to TLT: ummm depression, feeling very out of place, memes

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters

Summary: The book The Handmaiden was based on. A girl is sent to become a Lady’s handmaiden to con her out of some money. She falls in love. Many plot twists. 

How well it helped me forget: 5/10

Rating explanation: I was sadly still thinking about TLT the whole time I read this. I liked it but I actually like the Handmaiden better because the women spend more time together. Like in this book, I wish that Harrow and Gideon could spend more time together. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, at some point you realize the main character’s love interest understands what’s going on way more than the main character

Kindred - Octavia Butler 

Summary: Very dark book about slave narratives. I cannot make a joke here, but this book is excellent. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10 

Rating explanation: Again, I can’t make a joke. But Octavia Butler is amazing. 

Ash - Malinda Lo 

Summary: A wlw retelling of Cinderella with fairies and an emphasis on stories 

How well it helped me forget:7/10

Rating explanation: This was really quick and fun and I definitely was rooting for the lesbians. Also it was nice it had a happy ending! If you liked Crier’s War (which I did), this was clearly an influence for Nina Varela. 

Similar themes: wlw, the magic one + the fighting one dynamic

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel

Summary: A deadly pandemic wipes out so many people that the world spins into chaos and no one can figure out how to use electricity apparently? But the book is really about fame and wanting to be remembered. Go figure.

How well it helped me forget: -10/10 

Rating explanation: Ok that’s not fair. It helped me forget about Gideon and Harrow but it did NOT help me forget about Corona. It was technically good and a lot of people I respect love it, but either because I was still thinking about TLT or because it was about a pandemic, I couldn’t really enjoy it. 

Similar themes: post-apocalyptic 

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 

Summary: The Prince of England and The son of the president of the US are enemies. They are definitely enemies.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: This was such a fun read that it almost distracted me! Tragically I was in such TLT headspace that I kept pausing to read fanfics where Gideon and Harrow switch eyes. 

Similar themes: Enemies to lovers, queer

Troubling Love - Elena Ferrante 

Summary: In true Elena Ferrante fashion, an event spurs an Italian woman to do a lot of internal processing and have some flashbacks. 

How well it helped me forget: 7/10

Rating explanation: This book was a bit disturbing so it distracted me in that way. Plus I love Elena Ferrante’s writing so much that it felt like coming home to an old friend. Unfortunately for me, this is Elena Ferrante’s least queer book. I know because I have now read them all. Her most queer book, The Lying Life of Adults, would have distracted me better. Also just using this space to tell anyone who’s still reading this (probably no one) to go read My Brilliant Friend (and the corresponding Neopolitan Novels). They are not similar to TLT except they are vaguely queer and about competitive friendships where the girls are obsessed with each other in maybe an unhealthy way. Ok so a bit similar. Genuinely my favorite books ever. 

Similar themes: mommy issues, daddy issues, childhood trauma

On This Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous -Ocean Vuong

Summary: A Vietnamese immigrant reflects on his mother, grandmother, and his own life experience in the US. It is poetic and beautiful and will make you cry. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This book is beautiful. It really changes how you think about the US. Plus really interesting stuff about the western way of telling stories. Cannot recommend it enough, though very little to do with TLT. 

Similar themes: queer, stuff about language, childhood trauma, you will cry

**The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: OK sorry none of those were good suggestions for what to read after GTN. THIS is what you should read after GTN. It is an incredibly slow burn wlw enemies to lovers. There are dragons, there is magic, there are very cool female characters who I am in love with. This is like Game of Thrones but if it was good, queer, and only one 800 page book. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Enemies to lovers!!!! What more do I have to say? Also very cool world-building, interesting religious themes. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, religious themes, magic, very old wizard milfs, also mlm

*The Traitor Baru Cormorant 

Summary: Baru is a very smart girl in a colonized island. She decides she will play the game of the colonizers, rise up in their society, and destroy them from within. How is that going, Baru? 

How well it helped me forget: 100/10

Rating explanation: This DID make me forget TLT. The only book to truly make me. It made me forget so badly that I wanted my Griddlehark angst BACK. GIVE ME IT BACK I don’t wanna feel sad about Baru anymore. I cannot recommend it more, it is so good, but it did make me ugly cry. It also made me majorly depressed about colonization and the state of the world. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, ending will make you cry

*The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru is depressed, has brain damage, throws up a lot, is sad about (redacted), does some things without remembering them because there’s something going on in her brain. Sound familiar? It’s kinda like Harrow the Ninth but more depressing. Oh also a lot of new characters are introduced, old characters come back, a lot of setup for the next book. Euler’s identity shows up out of nowhere?! 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Again, it made me forget but only because I was so engrossed in this story. Also kinda depressed. This book is kinda depressing. But Baru is very fun to be around, and there are some other great characters. Marry me, Yawa. 

Similar themes: again, this is just harrow the ninth on steroids, I am in love with every single woman in this series

*The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru makes a new bestie, reunites with an old bestie, and discovers a dead bestie in her brain!

How well it helped me forget: 1000/10

Rating explanation: I loved this book. There were a few scenes I reread >four times. This book makes the other books in the series worth it. 

Similar themes: please see my venn diagram comparing tlt, baru, and A memory called empire for more information

*The Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo 

Summary: A girl has seen ghosts her whole life and because of that, gets accepted at Yale even though she didn’t finish high school. Yale is like a hotspot for ghosts I guess. It’s dark academia, the girl has a secret, the narrator is pretty funny.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: I was trying to get distracted from TLT (and Baru at this point), but it’s hard to forget about Harrow and Gideon in a book called The Ninth House (hello?). It was enjoyable and there was some good humor. I’m curious about the next book in the series when it comes out. It is not wlw unless you squint (which I do). 

Similar themes: debatably wlw body posession, nine houses, the ninth one being important, nerd boy who reminds me of pal, woman is revealed to be MUCH older than I originally thought, soul eating, revenants, tombs, necromancy, character named Mercy

The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: It’s the future and London is a hotspot for clairvoyants. Paige is a woman who has a special gift and can jump into people’s bodies and possess them briefly (among other things, this is a terrible explanation). Because of this, she is sent to a secret part of the city where clairvoyants are trained to be monster fighters (but also like, kept there in captivity against their will). Unlike every other book on this list I honestly wouldn’t recommend. I know there are other books in the series. If you’ve read on and it gets better let me know. (I know no one has gotten this far reading this but still)

How well it helped me forget: 4/10

Rating explanation: This one was disappointing because I loved Priory of the Orange Tree so much. This book did not distract me from my griddlehark or barhu feels. There’s also a character named Warden so I thought about SexPal a lot. 

Similar themes: enemies to lovers, ghosts, possession, queer but only background characters 

****The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood 

Summary: A girl is in an isolated cult that wants her to die as a sacrifice (sound familiar?). A definitely not evil wizard helps her escape. She meets a cute necromancer who’s also kinda from a cult. She goes on some gay adventures, gets the help of a morally grey older necromancer (who I’m in love with), and fights with her frenemy. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This is the most similar to TLT on this list. Gideon and Csorwe would be friends. Seriously I recommend this! And the second book comes out soon! And it’s not sad like TLT or Baru! 

Similar themes: sword lesbian + necromancer dynamic, wlw enemies to lovers, cults, tombs, necromancy, character named “the sleeper”, also mlm

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue - V. E. Schwab 

Summary: Adeline Larue made a deal with a demon in 1714 France, because she wanted to see the world and stuff. It backfires of course. She is immortal but no one remembers her. This causes all sorts of problems and makes her very angsty. The narrative flashes between her going through the years, and her falling in love with the only person who will remember her. 

How well it helped me forget: 2/10

Rating explanation: I know people loved this book but I did not. I liked the last 50 pages, I’ll give it that. I wish it was more queer (it was a little queer). 

Similar themes: as I said, a little wlw, immortality, demons, I guess falling in love with someone and them not remembering you now that I think about it 

Sula - Toni Morrison 

Summary: A story about two black women in the 1920’s-1960’s in an Ohio town. It is really great and interesting. It is a book about complicated female friendships (among so many other things that better writers not writing a list no one will read about their TLT feels have outlined) which I love. I was told I should read this after the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante and it did not disappoint. Same vibes. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This was just a great book. Has really nothing to do with TLT

Similar themes: debatably queer 

*Murderbot Diaries: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect,  - Martha Wells

Summary: Muderbot is an artificial construct who just wants to be left alone to watch tv, damnit! It doesn’t want to interact with humans, and it definitely does not want to talk about feelings. Too bad some humans want to become friends with it.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: These books were so good. They did help me forget! The books are really about having anxiety, making friends, and letting yourself have feelings. Also they are SO FUNNY. Highly recommend. In the way that I love Gideon’s POV, I love Murderbot’s POV

Similar themes: funny narrator, queer characters, space, people who don’t want to deal with their feelings being forced to deal with their feelings

*A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine 

Summary: Mahit is sent a dangerous, evil empire to be an ambassador. Lots of beautiful writing about colonialism, assimilation, language, and culture.There is gay angst and funny characters. I am once again in love with a morally grey older woman character. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Yes this book is great and did distract me from gtn (mostly. I did end up reading a great fanfic about wake, g1deon, and pyrrah in the middle but otherwise...). It is part of my holy trilogy of wlw books (this, baru, tlt) that I just read recently. The next book comes out on March 2nd so it will be a good distraction from waiting for Alecto. Like Baru, it made me feel like shit about colonialism but unlike the other two books in my trilogy (redacted but if you’ve read those books you know) didn’t happen. It had a not too sad ending. 

Similar themes: see my venn diagram, but seriously what is going on with brain surgery in these books...

*The Luminous Dead - Cailtin Starling 9/10

Summary: A woman needs money and to get the money she goes on a risky cave dive. It turns out the only contact she has with the rest of the world is a woman who’s kinda a dick. It’s 400 pages of creepy cave diving and these two women talking to each other. It’s creepy and uncomfortable and I loved it. I did spend the whole book thinking it would be such a good story podcast.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: It did make me forget about tlt! There are some kinda boring parts but it pays off. The relationship between the two main characters is very interesting (though a bit fucked up). 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, traumatised characters, shitty moms

[mrskurono]

Aphrodisiac Pt. 1 // ft. Kageyama + Seijoh

tags: drugs/aphrodisiac usage, noncon (Iwaizumi), slight dacryphilia (Kindaichi), vaginal penetration, handjobs, edging, orgasm denial, slight femdom, noncon photography (Oikawa), footjob, degradation, pet talk, creampie, mommy ish kink (Kageyama)

character(s): Tobio Kageyama (hq), Hajime Iwaizumi (hq), Toru Oikawa (hq), Yūtarō Kindaichi (hq)

Tobio Kageyama 

⇾ Oh Tobio

⇾ He thought you were giving him the opportunity to take care of you all strung out and fun

⇾ But the way he downs his spiked little treat is a testament to how much you knew he needed to unwind for a bit 

⇾ The way his face unscrunches and he’s left like a paralyzed star fish on your bed is the cutest thing you’ve seen in a while honestly

⇾ What might be cuter than that?

⇾ Oh the way he keeps trying to get on top of you and grind into you with that desperate excuse of a hard on he’s whimpering about

⇾ He goes from zero affection to climbing all over you in mere minutes that he’s complaining of being warm and tingly

⇾ “My...everything...and warm.”

⇾ Nothing out of his mouth makes sense even if he’s trying to talk, he won’t stop babbling which turns really into a mess of moans even at your slightest touch

⇾ Now though he isn’t fighting your lips ghosting over his neck, or the way you shift your hands under his shirt, no he is willingly leaning into everything you do to him as he moans up a storm

⇾ He can’t have all the fun and with the way he reacted the second your leg brushed over his crotch when you shifted? Clearly something else needed to be taken care of

⇾ Kageyama is completely useless like this save for the energy he keeps to hide his face every time you tell him how cute he is from above 

⇾ Straddling his lap bringing your core against his cock

⇾ His eyes half lidded as his fingers tangle in his own hair and he bites his lip watching you

⇾ “Do you want something?” “How badly does my baby boy want it?” “You’re just so hard like this~”

⇾ All the teasing and Kageyama is a red faced mess as he grinds his hips up into you like it’ll do anything

⇾ Finally you decide to indulge him though, it’s a treat for both of you

⇾ Sinking down on his cock as he stretches you out and hits your deepest parts 

⇾ Kageyama is a mess under you with his jaw slack and a bit of drool oozing from his mouth

⇾ You do him a favor and wipe up his mouth with your thumb but you notice he tries to follow your touch

⇾ As needy as he is you grin and pop your thumb in his mouth, feeling his tongue swirl around your digit and his eyes roll back in his head

⇾ Kageyama is a mess under you each time you shift your hips and grind into him, his sucking piss poor and mostly he’s drooling over your hand

⇾ Instead you pop it out of him mouth and make him watch as you bring your spit covered hand to your clit

⇾ “I’ll get off with your spit, maybe it’ll make me feel all nice and warm too~”

⇾ He is entranced, be it half lidded, by watching you play with yourself on him

⇾ Moving here and there to feel his cock inside you, its for nothing as you deny him most of the pleasure when you bring yourself to an orgasm just by yourself

⇾ The way you tighten around him and your walls flutter like they want to suck all his cum, Kageyama whimpers and tries to rut up into you like he can even move

⇾ “Shhh, you’re next, I’ll make sure you feel good too baby boy.”

Yūtarō Kindaichi

⇾ This idiot will be easy to talk into trying something fun, genuinely it takes one bat of your eyelashes and Kindaichi does what you want even if he doesn’t know how he feels about it

⇾ Show a bit of skin and he’ll do anything ok he can be simple at times

⇾ Kindaichi doesn’t down it like an idiot though he’s apprehensive to eat/drink it too quickly

⇾ Once he gets down to the last part of it though, and he’s feeling pretty warm and fuzzy, then he shoves/drinks the rest of it in him like he forgets he was apprehensive about it

⇾ Skin on fire, words slurred and half lidded Kindaichi wants nothing more than to have your hands on him

⇾ Asking repeatedly for you to touch him even if your hands are already on him

⇾ Not to mention he’s extra talkative, like, there is no way to get him to shut up and he keeps talking no matter what you do

⇾ Real touchy feely which would be annoying, if, it didn’t mean he’s overly sensitive everywhere else

⇾ “I’m feeling so weird....Please, I want more I-” “No no no, I think you’ve had enough silly boy.” “Please.”

⇾ The way he leans up into your touch when you draw your hands down his chest is wonderful, he’s such a pile of putty it’s pathetic 

⇾ Kindaichi will whimper and make the most delightful noises the entire time that it makes it difficult for you not to get turned on

⇾ Luckily the feeling is mutual though as his hard on was visible through his shorts almost the moment he complained about being warm

⇾ “Come here.”

⇾ Like a puppy dog Kindaichi is ready to do anything you want even if his gross motor skills are a little less than perfect

⇾ Completely useless though its up to you to really get what you want, wrapping your legs around his hips when he poorly tries to push himself inside you

⇾ Giggling at him rubbing against you like a horny puppy with little to show for it besides your juices covering his cock and Kindaichi whining about how warm he feels 

⇾ Help him though and he can hardly keep on his knees

⇾ Moaning like a fool as you position him at your entrance and pull him into you with your legs behind him as leverage

⇾ Kindaichi is panting with his arms on either side of you, barely keeping himself up, face red all the way to his ears and lips slightly parted panting 

⇾ You have to remind him to move, encouraging words cooing at him 

⇾ “Go on puppy, move for me.” “Lemme see how much you want it.” “Make me feel how warm you are~”

⇾ His thrusts are sloppy, Kindaichi rutting into you and moaning up a storm, everything on him tingling on fire as he can’t find anything to satisfy it

⇾ You push up against him just to lock your legs around his hips and do the same with your arms around his neck

⇾ Gasping a bit he lays almost entirely on you but his limbs are too heavy to move as he ruts into you with desperation

⇾ “You wanna cum hmm~?” “Please-” “How badly do you wanna cum?” “So badly!”

⇾ The way he overstims himself is adorable as Kindaichi grinds into you, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, chasing his own orgasm like its the last thing on earth

⇾ He just can’t take it anymore, the way you tighten around him and the feeling of your fingertips grazing his neck, there’s no way for him to keep his wits about him

⇾ Kindaichi is a sobbing mess as he buries his face in your neck and can’t help paint your insides white with all his cum

⇾ Sweet talking him all the way through it as you push your hips up to meet his 

⇾ You’d almost be mad if he wasn’t clinging to you for dear life with his cock still buried inside you

⇾ Lucky for you he’s not going soft after just one little fluke~

Hajime Iwaizumi

⇾ You will not, and I repeat, will not get Iwa to take anything willingly.

⇾ But he just looks so stressed lately? Work/College is too much, he’s being stubborn and he just needs to...unwind.

⇾ Iwa doesn’t suspect anything when you bring him his favorite drink

⇾ “It’s open?” “Yeah I took a drink of it can I not?”

⇾ He doesn’t have an issue sharing with his s/o so of course he’ll accept it! You’re not Oikawa so he trusts you at face value

⇾ Your eyes go big as he downs the entire bottle in one go around

⇾ The little something you put in his drink hits him the fastest (what do you expect when he just gulped it down in one breath?)

⇾ “My bodies warm-” “Why are my cheeks flushed?” “Am I sick damn it.”

⇾ Yeah it doesn’t last long before Iwa is silent but the clingiest you’ve ever seen him

⇾ Grabbing at your waist, palming your hips and pressing into you no matter what you do he is draped over you like a giant ragdoll and he is so relaxed

⇾ Unlike some of the others, he isn’t much of a talker all strung out like this

⇾ Actually it’s like he has laser focus and suddenly all he can see is you, tunnel vision to the max

⇾ Has no idea how to help himself though his limbs are so heavy and all he can do is press his lips against your neck thinking he’s kissing on you

⇾ Utterly useless hunk but the tent he pops in his pants the second you move your hands over his chest?

⇾ Well worth it

⇾ Iwa’s moans are immaculate seeing as he normally only keeps to grunts and a few words

⇾ Now though he is red from the bridge of his nose to the tips of his ears and he has no idea the puddle of mush he is in your hands 

⇾ Grumbling every time your hands run through his hair or touch his face; he wants more but can’t vocalize it

⇾ Taking it into your own hands as his grabby touch and firm grasp on every inch of you is a delightful turn on

⇾ “Shhh, lay back baby it’s fine.”

⇾ Iwa is staring up at you with such a dazed look that it almost makes you wish you did this earlier

⇾ Gripping his sides and grinding down on him is adorable as Iwa’s arms hang above his head, gripping the sheets under him, eyes glazed over staring up at you while he’s unable to move a single muscle in his beautifully toned body

⇾ For someone who’s incredibly fit, he can’t fight anything you want to do to him

⇾ So when you decide you want a little moment to relax yourself, Iwa is a grinning mess the second he feels the warmth of you slit slide up his cock

⇾ He’s so hard it’s almost pathetic

⇾ But the way he feels nestled inside you and he can’t even move his hands up to touch you is such a sight to see

⇾ Iwa is bubbling with moans anytime you shift on his cock, he’s like your own personal toy like this

⇾ Hands pressed to his chest you can go at your leisure riding him, Iwa twisting and turning under you as he stares up at you with a stupid grin

⇾ “Warm.” “Shh I’ll make you feel good too baby.” “Hehe warm all over.”

⇾ You’ll ride him until you feel his abs tense under your palms, a clear cut sign he’s gonna loose it even if he has no idea what’s going on

⇾ “Not yet.”

⇾ You wanna enjoy the fun a little bit more so the moment you pull him out of you, Iwa makes the saddest whimper as his perfect warmth is gone but it’s well worth it as you steal a kiss

⇾ Open mouthed, needy Iwa trying to suck on your tongue, ignoring the fact you just ruined his orgasm, this is well worth how much trouble you’ll get in later

Toru Oikawa

⇾ You can and will convince Toru to eat something, doesn’t matter what it is bc enough goating and he will fucking eat/drink the entire thing at once

⇾ Really you just wanted to see him maybe a little giggly but this, phew, this is another level

⇾ Clingy doesn’t begin to explain him

⇾ Toru is like a puppy dog but with such an inappropriate touch you’re left to wonder if he’s thinking about this all the time but is composed enough not to

⇾ “Kiss, I want a kiss!” “Lemma touch-” “I’m so tingly everywhere~”

⇾ Grabbing at your shirt hem, running his hands up under your blouse, hooking his fingers in your waistband, he doesn’t care how unsightly it comes off all he knows is he loves the feeling of your skin brushing his

⇾ Now at least when he won’t shut up it’s in the form of babbling incoherent thoughts that honestly are kinda cute

⇾ Mister Hot Stuff suddenly the begging drooling fanboy at your feet gives you a power rush like none other

⇾ If his stupid fangirls could see him now, on his knees, brown hair pushed off his blushing face, a string of drool pooling in the corner of his mouth as he looks up at you half lidded, it’s beautiful

⇾ All this talking and you’re wondering if you can shut him up

⇾ “Suck them.”

⇾ Toru’s lips clamp around your fingers, eagerly if you might note, and his eyes close as he leans into your touch to take your fingers down to your last knuckle

⇾ “So needy.”

⇾ You press down on his tongue, force another finger in his mouth, tilt his face up to you, it doesn’t matter Toru sucks on your fingers with enthusiasm and a half lidded glazed over look up at you

⇾ This could go on forever really, maybe just a picture to save the occasion...

⇾ “Smile babe.”

⇾ Toru’s cheek dopey grin with your fingers pressing down on his tongue, you encourage him to open wide and maybe just snap one more for good measure

⇾ As eager as he is, it’s easy to see his excitement travel down below the waist

⇾ His cock standing at attention with the cutest wet spot in his shorts, you wonder if you just touch it lightly with your foot if he’ll-

⇾ “Mmphm~!” 

⇾ The muffled moan on your fingers gives you the biggest rush in the world and you can’t help as you press your foot into his clothed cock

⇾ Toru really is a mess as he nurses your fingers and his hips jolt just ever so slightly when your foot grinds into him

⇾ “You’re so hard...and just for my foot? Soiling your shorts like that too...”

⇾ The more depraved your words are the harder he sucks, the fuck is loving this degradation to its fullest

⇾ Tied up in the way Toru’s tongue swirls around your fingers and the heat growing between your own legs, you nearly miss it if he hadn’t groaned so loudly

⇾ Toru cumming all from just your foot grinding against his cock, his cum seeping through his shorts and the groan vibrating on your fingers as his eyes shut tight and he inadvertently gags himself on your fingers

⇾ A wasted mess he’s drooling down his chin after gagging, brown eyes fixated up at you as he really doesn’t know what happened

⇾ It’s quite alright as the tent remaining in his pants means your fun has just began

[babymetaldoll]

Sleepless (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Requested: Yes. Someone wrote to me asking new dad Gub, but I can't find the request. I hope you like it! Technically it's not "new dad," but it's a new dad of two... I hope that counts.

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader/ and their kids

Summary: Matthew and his wife are trying to get used to having two kids instead of two.

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 1K

A/N:  This was originally part of "Dada" but ended up being a little story on its own. I hope you like it! You can't say no to dad!Gubs, right?

Masterlist

**********

Matthew knew it was going to be hard. Challenging, at least. But he never imagined it would be so exhausting. Neither he nor his wife (Y/N) remembered what sleeping more than two hours straight felt like.

And it had only been a month.

Stepping from having one kid to two was the most incredible and scary experience of their life. If only they knew what they were doing, Matthew and (Y/N) guessed they might feel better.

Vincent ran from his room to his parent's bedroom at four in the morning, crying.

- "Daddy!!"- he yelled, opening the door, waking up his parents and baby sister immediately.

- "Peanut, what happened?"

A groggy Matthew asked, sitting on the bed scratching his head. (Y/N) did the same and turned to the little crib by her side to hold her daughter. Little Mila had fallen asleep less than half an hour before, after two hours crying. Colics had been a severe issue for the last week, and (Y/N) had no idea what to do to help her baby.

Crying along with her seemed like an excellent idea at that point.

- "Daddy..."- Vincent whispered and crawled into bed. Matthew wrapped his arms around his son and noticed something weird immediately. His pajama was wet.

- "Come here, buddy."

Ever since Mila was born, Vincent had started wetting the bed. It used to be something sporadical before. Now, it happened almost every night.

- "There's a monter"- the toddler sobbed against his father's chest- "Can I sleep with you?"

- "Let's change into some clean pajamas first."

Mila stayed up until five in the morning after that, crying. (Y/N) and Matthew took turns carrying her around the room while Vincent was spread on the middle of their bed, sleeping like a little starfish.

- "Remember when we started dating, and we would talk until six in the morning after having sex?"- (Y/N) whispered, and Gubler smiled, nodding. He was carrying Mila, walking around the room, holding her with her chest down over one of his forearms, as he rubbed her back slowly.

- "Try to get some sleep, Bunny"- he whispered- "I'll take baby Bean to the nursery and try to calm her down."

- "I think I forgot how to sleep,"- she whispered and kissed her husband's cheek.

- "Peanut is the only one properly rested in this house. Should we worry about his bedwetting problem?"

- "He is adapting to Mila,"- (Y/N) murmured and looked at their three years old son- "I think he still needs to understand his little sister is not stealing his daddy."

Gubler nodded at those words and sighed. Mila was still crying, though she was tired too, and her sobs were softer.

- "Go to bed, Bunny. I've got this"- (Y/N) nodded and felt Matthew's lips on hers, leaving her with a sweet soft kiss before exiting the room, carrying one weary Mila to the nursery.

Matthew woke up the next morning on the rocking chair in Mila's room, holding her against his chest. His baby daughter was asleep, drooling on Gubler's pajamas. Words couldn't express how happy he felt, 'cos he actually tried to find them.

He always thought it was a cliché what they said about father's love being different when it came to their daughters. But it was. He loved Vincent with his whole heart, and he would protect him until the end of his days. But Mila was his heart. She owned him in a way he had never felt before. His little princess. What could she ask him that he wouldn't give her?

- "Daddy?"- Vincent stood by the door and looked at Matthew, still half asleep. He was wearing his little skeleton onesie, looking adorable.

- "Yes, Peanut?"- Vincent didn't answer. He strolled to his father.

- "Is my sister broken?"- Matthew nearly chuckled at the question but made his best not to make fun of his son when he noticed Vincent wasn't joking. He crawled onto his lap and looked at Mila, still asleep on their father's chest.

- "She is a little sick. That's why she has cried so much lately"- Gubler explained to his son- "And that's why mom and dad have been taking so much care of her."

- "Can I take care of her too?"- Vincent whispered, and his little hands touched Mila's back as softly as he could. Matthew's heart grew five inches of love just staring at his son trying to soother his little sister.

- "Of course you can, Peanut. You are her older brother, and you have to take care of her"

- "When can I play with her?"

- "You have to wait until she is a little older and she can walk. But meanwhile, we can do other fun things together."

- "Can we play hide and seek with her?"- Vincent whispered and moved closer to Matthew. The actor wrapped an arm around his son and kissed the top of his head.

- "Not yet, but we can read stories with her."

- "She can read?"- and Gubler chuckled softly.

- "Not yet, but she loves listening to the same stories you do."

- "Green eggs?"- Vincent asked and almost jumped on his father's lap. In the latest weeks, that had been the only book Matthew had read to his son, at his demand.

- "Yes"- but Gubler was starting to wish they could read something different, at least for one night- "Or maybe Rumple... do you like Rumple Buttercup?"

- "He's ok too"- Vincent nodded and kept his little eyes on his sister- "Can she ride a skate?"

- "Not yet, but we can teach her"- Matthew held both his kids tight and closed his eyes for a second.

- "I peed on mommy when I was sleeping,"- Vicent whispered suddenly- "It was an accident, but she didn't wake up. Is mommy dead?"- Matthew bit his lips and held his breath, trying not to laugh.

- "She is alive, Peanut. Don't worry. She is just tired. Come on, let's put an eye on her and make her a nice breakfast, ok?"

- "She's gonna be mad 'cos I peed on her,"- Vincent whispered, hiding his face on Matthew's chest.

- "That's why we are making her breakfast, Peanut."

**********

Taglist

@all-tings-diego

[dykeseinfeld]

u asked someone to remind you to post about your pjo dual protagonist thalia/bianca au and i am SO intrigued by this idea please say more

anon asked: hey queen hope your homework went good yesterday 🌸…now what were you saying about thalia and bianca 😳 ?

ok y’all i’m here...the moment almost none of y’all have been waiting for....bianca/thalia protagonists with alternating pov’s au

warning it’s kind of super long and may or may not read like a 2nd grader’s semi-coherent game of pretend so under the cut it goes!

so the main things you need to know about this au are 1. thalia survives and 2. annabeth’s + luke’s ages are a lil diff bc canon is my sandbox 3. i can’t decide if percy exists in this au or not (maybe y’all can help me decide?)

so the first book:

would start a few months after grover brought thalia (12), luke (13), and annabeth (10, not 7)  to camp half blood. they were chased by monsters sent by hades on the way, and thalia almost didn’t survive, but ultimately she got lucky and managed to send a bolt of lightning through her spear for the first time and they made it into camp

it’s been some time so annabeth is happy as a clam in the athena cabin doing her 10-year-old-with-severe-mommy-issues thing and luke is actually pretty popular with the hermes cabin bc he actually Met Their Dad Holy Shit and also he’s getting pretty good with a sword

at the same time, thalia is alone in the zeus cabin. everyone has been freaking out bc they all saw the huge bolt of lightning that incinerated a couple hellhounds as they made their grand entrance and What The Fuck Child Of The Big Three???

she’s also further isolated because chiron will take her for private training sessions sometimes, since she is clearly really powerful already and also Hades Himself was trying to kill her (chiron told her the reason was the big three’s pledge not to have kids, and maybe about the great prophecy? if he tells her that then she’s sworn to secrecy)

once grover leaves on another protector assignment, thalia mostly hangs out with luke, and annabeth. luke + annabeth both will try to eat meals with her at the zeus table but annabeth doesn’t want to get in trouble and luke is genuinely making friends in the hermes cabin so thalia will feel bad sometimes and send him back

kronos, seeing this bitter isolated child of the big three’s dreams: it’s free real estate

MEANWHILE

hades is Pissed that thalia survived and zeus got to break their oath And get the glory of a prophecy child

so he sends someone to take bianca (12) and nico (10) out of the lotus hotel and casino a little early.

grover is still their protector, but since the Stirring hasn’t begun in earnest yet and hades is lowkey determined to keep them safe, they make it back to camp half blood with no escort/incident

bianca + nico are put into the hermes cabin, and luke kinda takes them under his wing bc while he’s not bitter he still needs therapy bc this 14 year old has never met a pre-teen he couldn’t try to parent

luke introduces nico and annabeth since they’re the same age and they become really good friends!! she Loves mythomagic and he thinks her dagger is super cool and they’re both just really excited about camp <3

bianca is more reserved and resistant to the whole thing, and she wanders around alone exploring and runs into thalia in the zeus cabin

at this first meeting they get into a bit of a fight bc bianca is still in shock/denial about the gods being real, but thalia at this point has zero patience for this

anyway after that and maybe another scuffle during capture the flag or something they hit it off and become best friends in the way girls can, especially bonding over how they’ve both had to take on raising annabeth and nico basically on their own at the age of 12

~QUEST TIME~

thalia is given a quest for [unspecific reason] and chooses bianca and luke, they go off leaving annabeth and nico frustrated at home

quest hijinks etc, bianca is trying to figure out her parentage + her weird mysterious powers? and thalia is arguing with luke because he’s settling into camp/hero life really well actually but she’s getting progressively angrier with the gods for trying to kill her and also keeps getting dreams from kronos and doesn’t get why he doesn’t seem to remember all of the shit that the gods have put him through

bianca + thalia have las-vegas-style-heart-to-hearts where thalia shares her tragic backstory about her mother and her brother and how hades tried to kill her and even about the great prophecy and how she’s trying on this quest bc of that and her dad but at the same time these dreams are making her suspicious that he might’ve been responsible for her mom’s death.

bianca then shares her own stuff, about how terrified she was being on her own with nico having to protect him but also not remembering most of her childhood and not remembering her parents or how she ended up in the care of this lawyer and just the absolute mindfuckery that her memories/past are

luke is asleep in those scenes i guess lol 🧍‍♂️

anyway eventually they finish their quest in this massive climactic battle where bianca discovers her powers in a huge-showy-”i’m the ghost prince”-way and is formally claimed by hades which thalia sees as this Massive Betrayal obviously and bianca is horrified too because she knows what hades did to thalia but at the same time she’s just so happy to finally understand at least part of her past

thalia just reaches a breaking point though because everyone around her just doesn’t understand her anger and just when she thought she had found another sympathetic person who understood what she was going through she joins hades??? no. no fucking way. kronos reveals that he’s the one who has been sending her dreams, prob by sending some messenger who he possesses or smthing and when he offers thalia the chance to join him? she does (dun dun dun)

main beats of the rest of the series:

thalia and bianca on opposite sides of the war training to be the prophecy child, they come together a Lot and have like melodramatic fight scenes where they talk out their anger and try to get the other to join them bc they don’t want to kill each other

luke is extremely conflicted/betrayed and there’s a titan’s curse moment prob towards the end of the third book where they’re fighting and thalia is trying to get her to go with him but here he actually does go to join her (gasp!!) and is evil for at least one book but his heart’s not in it and he goes back to the good side eventually

by the point of luke’s betrayal, annabeth and nico are growing and developing and old enough to go on quests w bianca and by the last book they’re a main trio of sorts and their hypothetical character development is already making me emotional

there’s just a lot of general sexiness with foils and inner conflicts and bianca doesn’t even want to be the prophecy child but she needs to for the fate of the world and bianca is so angry at thalia bc thalia is a daughter of zeus and could control her powers and is perfect and just meant to be the prophecy kid, not some daughter of hades who they didn’t even have a cabin for before

hm maybe by either the last or second-to-last book thalia + bianca are close to reconciling or at least their interests are aligned for the moment and they read the text of the prophecy together and things go Wild bc they both think “single choice shall end his days” either is about luke or nico and it turns up the gas to their fighting both of them care about both of them and yeah

and then i can’t decide if there’s romantic arcs at all but if there were it would go like this:

just a dash of thaluke where at first it was luke having a one-sided crush but thalia misses him a Lot after she goes to kronos and wonders if it’s that she misses him or if it’s something More until to get him to defect there’s like a melodramatic moment in the fight where thalia kisses him and they go off to be Evil Together but it ends bc luke doesn’t believe in the cause and only joined her in hopes of getting thalia back to his side

once luke leaves/is kicked out thalia realizes that she didn’t love luke she just wanted a family and also in the second half of the series she realizes she’s a lesbian as a parallel to her redemption arc

bianca meanwhile is unconcerned w romance until she has her botl-hoe-moment where within one book she 1. runs into the hunters on a quest and has a thing with zoe nightshade who tries to get her to join plus tells her about that time she met thalia, 2. she goes to calypso’s island and falls in love w her in the moonlight or w/e and has her what-if moment, and 3. when they meet up that book thalia somehow knew abt zoe + calypso and seems almost angrier abt them  than the war?? weird bc bianca knows that thalia is Totally Straight right??

my main point is that bianca/thalia is our friends-to-enemies-to-lovers endgame thank you i will take my pulitzer now

[starcookiechu]

ROTT Review

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.

FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.

Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.

Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.

Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.

Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.

Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.

Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.

Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming” episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.

Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.

Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting. 

Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.

And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.

How about some CreepSlayers?

BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.

Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.

I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.

How about some Akiridions?

Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.

DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.

It was good to see Varvatos Vex.

Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.

And finally some Wizards.

Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.

Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.

Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.

I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.

I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.

The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.

WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.

Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.

Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.

They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.

And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.

Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.

The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.

Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.

Now our characters are split into 3 teams:

Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.

Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.

Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.

Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.

(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)

We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.

And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.

Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.

Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.

(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)

Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)

BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.

Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.

And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.

Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.

Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1. 

ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.

Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)

BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.

JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.

Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.

Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.

STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH. 

Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.

Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)

I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.

We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.

(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)

And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.

I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.

The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.

---

I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.

Don’t think. Become.

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

Day 14: The Test Results - Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia

Day 14: The Test Results - Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia 

Todays story was requested by @itspdameronthings​. Thank you so much for the request and I really hope you like it. This is the longest of all the stories I have written for the November Writing Challenge.

November Writing Challenge Masterlist 

Day 13: Water Flowed- Llewyn Davis 

Day 1 

“Do you have to go?” Your voice is quiet as you watch him pack his bags from your seat on the bed. 

“Querida, you know I don’t want to but they are asking me back as a favor AND I’m being compensated. I worked in Columbia for three years, it's where my mother was born. I feel like I need to do this,” he kneels in front of you, taking your hands in his own. “It’s only four months and I promise I will call and text you every single day. It’s killing me to leave you but...I feel I have to do this.” 

Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia was a former member of Delta Force in the US Military before leaving to go work for the DEA in Columbia. Three years ago, he left Columbia to return home but not without one final mission. He got together a few of his old buddies from the force and robbed a drug lord before killing him and fleeing the country. But something went wrong. Well… a lot of shit went wrong, resulting in the death of his old captain, Tom, and forcing them to leave millions of dollars off the side of a cliff buried in the snow. 

Santiago had accepted a temporary assignment with the DEA to return back to Columbia and train some new recruits. You were not one bit okay with this plan but the one thing you loved and also kind of hated about your husband was how headstrong he could be. Unfortunately, you are just as stubborn as him. The last few weeks leading up to his departure had been fraught with arguments. You didn’t want him to go. Even though it had been years since that last mission, you didn’t know what the situation down there was. Were they still hunting for the men who had robbed and gunned down Lorea? Was he walking into a trap? No money was worth losing the man you loved, and he didn’t seem to understand that. 

“You don’t have to do anything.” The words are bitter on your tongue and Santiago winces, before moving to stand. “We don’t need that money, and you have no idea what you walking into baby…” 

“Y/N, we have talked about this enough. I am going!” He slams the top of his suitcase closed before pulling the zipper harshly and walking towards the door. He turns sharply at the door pointing at you, “Why do you keep arguing with me about this? I have told you a million reasons why I need to do this! Instead of supporting me you're just fighting with me!” 

“I do support yo-” 

“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.” he swings his backpack on his back, puts on his hat and walks out the door. You’re on your feet in a hurry. “Goddamnit, Santiago! Will you just fucking listen to me for two minutes?”  You grab his shoulder and turn him to face you. He’s fuming and you can tell the volcano is seconds away from blowing. “I DO support you! I understand WHY you feel the need to do this but I LOVE YOU and I don’t want to LOSE YOU!” 

You're out of breath from shouting, and you see the anger slowly fade from his face as he comes to stand closer to you, “Querida...baby you're not going to lose me. I love you….so … damn … much. I never really felt alive until I met you, and no one,” he puts a finger under your chin and raises your eyes to his own, “no one is going to take me away from you.” 

“You can’t promise that…” Your words come out broken and a choked sob escapes you. “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Santi I can’t lose you. I won’t survive without you…” 

“Shhh.” He pulls you close and you collapse in a sobbing heap into his chest, your tears soaking the front of his t-shirt, his hands are strong as he holds you close. “I know nothing is one hundred percent but I love you and I am going to come home back to you. Nothing could ever keep me away.” He pulls you away from his chest, wiping your eyes before kissing you gently.

“I love you too Santi, so much.” You sigh into the kiss and hold him tight before he pulls away, walking towards the door, grabbing his duffle bag from the floor and walking out, taking your heart with him. 

Day 31 

Santiago kept good on his promise and called and texted every single day, each time letting you know he was safe and how much he loved you. He was working hard down there, and he loved the adventure, even if he missed you like crazy. You missed him too and the combination of being without your husband, taking care of the whole house, your shared basset hound, and work was draining. It was only a matter of time before you started feeling under the weather. You had been feeling fatigued, sore throat, cough, and after two days of vomiting throughout the day you had to admit it, you were sick. 

On your nightly call with Santi the worry in his voice warmed your heart. “Baby, you need to go to the doctor and get checked. Remember when you got bronchitis last year? It was pretty bad.” 

You hack into the receiver “Yeah, maybe you're right. I just feel like shit Nauseous all day long. Jonathon actually sent me home today. Said he was worried about me ‘infecting’ the office.” 

Santi mutters under his breath but you hear him and snort. “Yeah I agree he is a dick, but I appreciate being sent home. I’ll go to the urgent care tomorrow.” 

“Do you promise?” 

“Yes, I promise. I want to feel better...I just hate going to the doctor.” You recall the many times Santi had to drag you kicking and screaming (sometimes literally) to the doctor. 

“Why don’t you ask one of the guys to go with you?” 

“Maybe...Frankie mentioned he was off tomorrow when I called him yesterday....” 

“See. It was meant to be. Why don’t you text him after you hang up with me and he will make sure you go? Then I can rest easy tonight knowing you’re ok. I wish it were me though. I would take such good care of you baby.” 

“Oh yeah?” What would you do if you were here?” You snuggle down into the comforter with your box of tissues, hot tea, the humidifier and his deep soothing voice lulling you to sleep. 

It doesn’t take long before your soft snores fill the phone and Santi smiles to himself. Listening to the sounds of his love finally feeling at rest. When you wake up three hours later to throw up the light from your phone signifies a message. 

I called Frankie, he’s going to come by at 10 o’clock to take you for an appointment. I booked it online through the app. Get some rest and drink lots of fluids. I love you. - Hubby 

You smile before brushing your teeth and crawling back into the warmth of your bed and falling back to sleep, dreaming of your husband. 

Day 32 

The next morning Frankie rings the doorbell at exactly 9:45.Like all the other Delta Force guys (except Benny), they are meticulously early. You greet him with a cup of coffee with his own special airplane shaped mug, complete with his name engraved on the side. You knew that when you married Santiago, Frankie came as part of the package. 

“Hi Garcia, how ya feeling?” He wraps one arm around your shoulder and you lean into the embrace, placing your head on his arm. 

“To be completely honest Cat? I feel like shit.” 

Frankie lets out a small laugh before rubbing gentle circles on your back. “Well then let’s get you to the doctor. You got your insurance card?” 

“Yeah it’s in my bag.” You grab your brown knit bag, swinging it over your shoulder. 

“Then let’s get going.” He guides you out to his truck, helping you into the seat before running around the front to the driver's seat. 

About twenty minutes later you're pulling into the parking lot of your doctor. Frankie walks you inside helping you get signed in. It's another thirty minutes before you're put back into a room, sitting on crinkled tissue paper, Frankie reading back issues of People. The door opens and you sit up a little straighter. 

“Mrs. Garcia?” You nod. “I’m Dr. Jacobs. What can I help you with today?” 

You proceed to tell her what’s been going on and she goes through the motions, asking you all about your symptoms, checking your ears, nose, throat, and chest. When she's done she types everything into her tablet, “one more question, when was your last menstrual cycle?” 

You open your mouth to answer before closing it slowly. “When was my last...Oh. Uhm,” you laugh nervously at a loss for words, “about a month ago it should be starting any day now…” 

“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” she asks, looking between you and Frankie. 

“Oh, he’s not my husband!” 

“I’m her husband's best friend. He’s out of the country.” 

“Well it sounds like you may have the flu but I would like to run some labs as well if that’s alright with you, and maybe a pregnancy test just to be sure?” 

You laugh. “Sure doc whatever you need, but I am not pregnant.” 

Day 35 

You swing your car haphazardly into the driveway narrowly missing a planter box and running over Mia’s pink bike. The front door slams open. Frankie is running down the driveway, yanking the car door open and pulling you into his arms. Your sobs are staining your cheeks and you're a blubbering mess. 

“Garcia! What the hell! Are you ok!?” Frankie checks you over. You shake your head frantically. 

“NO! No I am not ok!” you shout! “The test results came back!” 

“Oh god, is it bad!? Cancer? Diabetes? Fuck! Did Pope give you some kind of STD because I swear I will kick his ass for you!” 

“NO! God...no...I'm...Pregnant!” You break down in sobs and hold onto Frankie who starts to laugh. “Stop laughing! This is serious! Frankie!!” 

He chuckles squeezing you tighter, “Garcia this is wonderful! You're gonna be a mom and Santiago is going to be a daddy! Mia will have someone to play with. Fuck, I’m so happy for you guys.” You pull away to see a huge smile on his face. 

Some of his excitement rubs off on you and you rub your nose on the sleeve of your shirt before you smile, “I’m gonna be a mommy…oh shit Frankie what do I tell Santi?

“We will worry about that later. But right now let’s get you home and back to bed. You still have that cough and you need your rest.” 

Day 36 

“Hey baby. How is my favorite man?” 

“Oh Querida I miss you so much. I think I forgot how much I love being out in the field. The rush, the thrill. It’s addicting.” 

Your heart drops and for a minute you say nothing. How the hell could you tell him about the baby? He would want to come straight home and he’s loving the work.

“Everything is great here. Yeah, I got the test results yesterday from the lab and everything is normal. I just have the flu and since I’ve been off the last few days I’ve rested and drank lots of fluids and I am feeling much better.” 

“Oh good, I was so worried about you.” He sighs. “I got a new app on my phone that counts down to the second till I get to be back with you.. I love you so much Querida.” 

You bite your lip to keep from crying before letting out a shaky breath, “I love you too baby, and I can’t wait to see you soon.” 

The conversation shifts and when you hang up with your husband you shoot a quick text off to Frankie. 

Don’t mention ANYTHING about the pregnancy to Santiago. I’ll tell him when he gets home. 

What? Why? 

He loves being there and if we're going to have a baby then he's not going to be able to do this again. If I tell him you know he will just come home early. 

Ok...I still think you should tell him. You're going to need support though...he’s still going to be gone for three more months. 

Your right...Frankie...will you be my person? 

... of course. Get some sleep Garcia. 

Day 100 

Four months doesn’t seem like a long time. But when you're pregnant and missing your husband it seems like a lifetime. It had been one hundred days since Santi had left for South America and only twenty-two more days till he came home. When you did the math in your head you had become pregnant two weeks before Santi had left. Meaning you were well on your way to being a very noticeable pregnant woman. 

You had been shopping a couple times with Benny to Motherhood Maternity store to get some bigger clothes because yours refused to fit. Also a very interesting trip to Babies-R-Us where after much convincing he did not purchase the entire store for his future niece/nephew. Will had been attending your doctor and lab appointments with you. And sweet Frankie had been helping you around the house, getting groceries when you were too tired, keeping up the yard, and taking you and your dogs for walks to keep you moving. Your husband’s brothers had become your own, and you loved them for it. Only 22 more days. 

Day 120 

You're sitting at the kitchen table doing a puzzle with Will when Frankie comes in carrying takeout and a squirming Mia. He puts her down and she rushes toward you. 

“TIA GARCIA!” she screams, launching herself into your arms. 

“MIA!” you shout, squeezing her tightly before tickling her sides. She giggles before shimmying out of your lap and running to the kitchen. Coming back a moment later carefully balancing (at least as careful as a three year old can) a plate filled with watermelon to you. 

“Papa says this is for the baby,” she tells you in what could be called an attempted whisper but more like a shout. 

“Why are you whispering Mia?” 

“Papa says that I have guts to be quiet because the baby is sleeping.” She leans forward and hugs your slightly protruding belly before climbing into the kitchen chair across from you. 

You give Frankie an amused look and he smiles with a shrug before plating out the food. Pizza for them and watermelon for you. It’s all you seem to want anymore. “Oh come to mama.” You spear a piece before placing it in your mouth, moaning as the cold sweet juice goes down your throat. 

“So I’m taking you to the airport on Friday to pick up Santiago. Any ideas on how you're going to tell him?” Frankie asks, taking a large bite of pizza. 

“Well I think he’s going to know.” You gesture to your stomach, spearing another piece of melon. 

“I’ve been looking up ideas on how to tell people you're pregnant, and you could give him a jar of pasta sauce,” Will says and you all look at him like he’s nuts, “No, hear me out it’s Prego pasta sauce...get it, Prego?” 

You groan before taking another bite, “I think he’s going to notice I’m pregnant before I can even give him a jar of pasta sauce Will.” 

“Not if he doesn’t see your stomach first…” Frankie says, “what if you made a sign?” 

“A sign?” 

“Yeah like when we used to come home from a tour and the families would have signs. You could make a sign!” 

You think about it for a minute before you fall in love with the idea. You go to the office and come back with a couple poster boards you kept for work presentations. You place one in front of Mia who squeals and grabs one of the markers you provide. You get to work outlining the words and filling them in with his favorite colors blue and red. When completed, you lift it up and show it to the others.

“That’s perfect!” Frankie beams. 

“Bet you 50 bucks he cries,” Will says. 

“Deal,” they slap hands and you glare, before smiling at the two. Only two more days. 

Day 122 - Santiago Comes Home 

You feel sick, what if he doesn’t want to have a baby? Will he be mad I kept this from him? Shit, maybe this was a terrible idea. What the hell was I thinking? 

“Garcia, you need to calm down, you're making me stressed.” 

“What if he doesn’t want this? What if he is disappointed? What if-” Frankie stands up and puts his hands on your shoulders. 

“Garcia listened to me. Santiago loves you more than anything in this entire world and he is going to love this baby just as much maybe even more. He may be surprised yeah but trust me. Once he wraps his brain around it, he’s going to be ecstatic.” He pulls you in for a hug and you take a deep breath, calming your nerves. 

The constant flow of travelers does nothing to lessen your anxiety. You take a deep breath and almost choke on the smell of espresso from the nearby Starbucks. Frankie gives you one last squeeze before handing you the sign and stepping back as people flood out of the gate. 

You rise to your tiptoes in search for a familiar head of salt and pepper curls. When in a break of the crowd you see him, running in a full sprint towards you. His face split into a megawatt smile. As he gets close enough to touch, you hold up the sign. He slows down slightly as he reads and you watch the smile fade only slightly before it’s replaced by shock. 

Welcome home daddy 

He reaches forward, holding tight to the poster board and slowly lowering it, eyes transfixed at your swollen belly. Silence. His hands shake as they put the sign on the floor, his eyes never leaving you. Your heart races and you feel the urge to vomit return again before he drops to his knees. 

You wince, “Baby, your knees…” reaching down to pull him up, but he makes no move to stand, his hands coming to your stomach. Placing his lips gently over your shirt. His forehead rests against you and tears drench your shirt. The baby chooses that moment to make their presence known kicking softly against his cheek. You run your hands through his curls and he looks up at you with a watery smile and a small laugh. 

“Querida, you’re pregnant. We’re...we’re having a baby…” he sniffles and you can’t help the tears in your own eyes. “Why...why didn’t you tell me? I would have come home…”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t. You’ve been so happy these past few months and I knew you needed to do this. Yes, I was scared as hell about losing you but...I understood.” 

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers before shakily getting to his feet and clutching you tight, his hands frame your face and he pulls you close getting lost in the kiss, “I love you...so fucking much,” he whispers putting his forehead against your own. “I love you too. I’m so glad your home… I mean the guys have been great but I’m excited to go shopping for baby stuff with you, attend my doctor appointments together, and have you bring me platefuls of watermelon.” 

He laughs pulling back, “Watermelon? Is that what you’ve been craving?” 

“Oh god yes, even talking about it makes my mouth water.” 

“If that is what you want Querida, then you can have as much as you desire,” he kisses you again. 

A cough sounds from behind and you turn to see Frankie smiling at you.  Santi reaches out to give him a slap on the back, the two conversing in Spanish. You hold your hand out and Santi latches on, never letting go as you make your way through the terminal and out to the truck. 

The world passes by in a kaleidoscope of color as Frankie drives you both home. Arriving, you thank him before leading Santi by the hand and into the house. When the door is latched behind you, he presses you into the door gently. Every touch, every caress, left you breathless. His lips warm and wet against your own. When you take a breath his tongue snakes inside and he drags you from the door, striping each other, leaving a trail of clothes to the bedroom. 

After you’ve been thoroughly fucked and your wrapped up in Santiago’s strong arms, legs intertwined together, and he’s rubbing your belly do you finally relax. Sighing into his chest, and kissing it lightly. “Your really happy about the baby?” you whisper, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you. 

His grip around you tightens, “I promise you, I am very happy about the baby. You made me a daddy Querida. I love you...so much.” 

You sigh, “I love you too.” 

3 months later 

Eight months of pregnancy has flown by. After Santi got home from Columbia he took over doing everything. Attending your appointments together, buying and building things for the nursery, and bringing you platefuls of watermelon at all times of the day and night. Santiago takes the roll of daddy very seriously. All of those year in the military have come into play the last few months as he has transformed your house into a fortress. God help anyone that tries to hurt you or your unborn daughter. 

It started small with a few extra cameras on the perimeter, then installing a new indoor security system. A new fence was put up around the pool two months ago, and most recently the baby monitors set up throughout the house. He was beginning to drive you a little insane and you honestly just wanted him to lay off a bit. The perfect opportunity arose one fateful morning during breakfast. 

“So I’ve been thinking Querida, how do you feel about putting carpet on the floor of the nursery?” 

Part 2: Carpet (If you haven’t read it, check it out!)

Day 15: Just Walk Away- Ezra (Prospect) 

[superstarrockin]

do you have any jay and kai headcanons ‼️‼️

*cracks knuckles* I kin Jay so yes of course ! And I wanna kiss Kai bad so I got you!

JAY

Jay learns how to cook from Cooking Mama. His very first well made recipe was an egg scramble. He is very proud of it.

We all already know this but heterochromia Jay!

Has never sworn. Says “frick” and silly replacements for cuss words.

My headcanon Jay is bisexual, but he struggles to come out of the closet. But the other ninja know already that he wants to kiss a boy.

He calls all of his mother figures mama.

Jay likes musicals ! He and Cole bond over them and watch them all the time!

(Now for a sad one, I’m sorry ) But after Seabound, not only did he fall into a heavy depression, but also he developed sever abandonment issues. Not inly did his birth mother leave him, but so did his other half. Even though he wants to grieve alone in his room about Nya, he will still walk by the others rooms and make sure they are still there.

Along side that, his love language is Touch. As explained here . He tends to hug his friends a lot, maybe if he’s lucky a nice kiss ok the forehead.

KAI

A selfie fanatic , plain and simple. He learned from Jay, but of course is now better than him.

Kai’s a tad bicurious, but when asked he will always reply with “I LOVE WOMEN.”

He cusses. A lot. Cole and him have the dirtiest mouths. Kai’s favorite word is “fuck”.

Kai is a straight mama’s boy. After not having his parents for so long, he instantly clung onto his mom.

Along with that, he always helps her make dinner, when they are around. “Yes mommy, I’ll cut the veggies for you. 🥺”

Kai streams on Instagram live, that’s how he interacts with his fans the most. Instagram is his go-to social media site.

( And he gets a Seabound one too ) After Nya’s funeral, his saddness really turned into anger. His life’s mission was to make sure his sister stayed safe, it was his promise. But now, with her gone, he blames himself for letting her go off, not really watching her. So he trains really aggressively and researches some way to get her back.

Kai’s love languages to me is Words of Affirmation, yeah he is flirtatious and will always be silly with his partner. But when it comes down to it, when he hears them say how proud they are of him and things of that nature, he gets very happy. I think this because he didn’t have that growing up, he didn’t have parents to be proud of him, so he actively searches for that in a partner, someone to assure him he is doing this whole thing right.

ANYWAYS! I hope you enjoys my little bit of headcanons for two of my favorites.

[ejzah]

Can you do a fanfic of Kensi and Deeks facing their worst nightmare when during a case one of the bad guys kidnaps their newborn baby.

A/N: So I decided to modify this a bit because I feel like Kensi and Deeks have been through enough when it comes to children. Even so, there’s a fair amount of drama and such and a wee bit of hurt-comfort. Oh yes, and David Kessler makes another appearance.

***

Finish What You Start

Deeks muttered to himself as he typed up a report. The bullpen was empty beside himself; Sam and Callen were attending bomb disposal recertification class and Kensi was at home with their three month old, Caleb. Fatima and Rountree were somewhere around the place, likely trying to on up the other.

He had a picture of Kensi and Caleb on his phone, which was the only thing that got him through the long hours some days.

“Deeks, a call just came through OPS. It’s David Kessler,” Eric announced suddenly, appearing at the top of the stairs, and breaking the the peaceful silence.

“What? How the hell did he get this number?” Deeks demanded. After nearly a year and a half, Kessler had been once again relegated to the back of his mind. They hadn’t heard or seen anything of him since escaping from prison.

“No idea, but he’s asking for you. I told him you weren’t available and he said you’d want to speak with him.” Eric’s voice was terse, to the point as it only was in the most serious of situations. “He says he won’t speak to anyone else.”

At that, something twisted inside Deeks and he stood abruptly, jogging up the steps. Eric followed beside him, matching him step for step. When they entered OPS, Deeks gestured for Eric to put the call through to his cell

“Are you tracing him?”

“Of course.” Deeks nodded at Eric’s confirmation and then placed the phone to his ear.

“This is Agent Martin Deeks,” he said. From the little he’d seen and heard of David Kessler, he enjoyed being in control, and Deeks wasn’t about to give it to him.

“Congratulations,” Kessler responded, sounding amused. “I heard you got a promotion. Kensi must be so proud.”

Clenching his fist around the phone, resisting the urge to react to Kessler’s goading. The sound of him saying Kensi’s name made Deeks stomach turn.

“You said you wanted to speak to me.”

“Oh, that’s no fun Marty. Is it ok if I call you Marty, or would you prefer Deeks? Or maybe “baby”. Kensi calls you that a lot.”

So he’d been watching them, or at the very least had a source who new enough about them to feed Kessler information. He glanced at Eric, who shook his head and held up three fingers. The needed to keep him on for at least 30 more seconds.

“Kessler, you have exactly 10 seconds to tell me what you want or I’m hanging up,” Deeks warned him.

“You know, Kensi has always been very strong-willed,” Kessler responded, competing ignoring Deeks’ threat. “A strong man would know how control his wife.”

“Oh my god, you are so delusional.”

Kessler made a unintelligible noise and when he spoke again, his voice was low, on the edge of anger. It was clear he was trying to maintain his control.

“You have a nice little family, Deeks. Cute kid, pretty wife. It would be a shame if something happened to them while you were off playing hero.”

Eric swore loudly and when Deeks turned towards him, he saw him staring at his computer screen with a mixture of horror and anger.

“Deeks, he’s right outside your house,” he hissed. Deeks froze for a moment and then was filled with an overwhelming wave of anger. By the time he was at the sliding doors, his hands were shaking a little. Eric didn’t ask where he was going or what he planned to do.

“Personally I’ve never found men who think they have to control anybody particularly impressive,” Deeks said.

Somehow he managed to keep his voice steady as he ran down the stairs, and tucked his gun into the back of his jeans. Time seemed to be moving in uneven spurts; one second he was by his desk and the next, he was by his truck. He muted his phone briefly as he turned the key in the ignition, hoping to keep Kessler talking for as long as possible.

He revved the engine, climbing to 75 miles before he flicked the sound back on.

“What, no comment? I didn’t think you’d give up that easily.”

“No, not giving up. I was just thinking, imagining, what I’ll do to Kensi,” Kessler said a little dreamily. “All the unexplored things you’re clearly to afraid to do. I think she’ll be easy to subdue.”

“If you truly believe that, then you don’t know Kensi at all. She can take your sorry ass out quicker than you can say “mommy issues”.

His phone beeped and he lowered it, glancing at the text Eric had sent.

“I tried calling Kensi, but her phone is going straight to voicemail. Rountree, Fatima, and LAPD are all on their way.”

Deeks’ stomach dipped again. Kessler must have some kind of signal blocker. He was about ten minutes out from their house now.

“Yes, but children make women weak, soft. Kensi’s a mother now, not a federal agent. I give her two minutes.” As Kessler spoke, Deeks heard the sound of a car door slamming. “You know, I’ve always wanted to have a child to mold and make my own.”

Deeks slammed the gas pedal to the ground, blasting through a red light, just narrowly missing a blue sedan.

“Kessler,” he growled, voice shaking with rage and fear. The thought of him near Kensi and the baby terrified him. Kensi was strong, but he knew she would do anything to keep Caleb safe.

“See you soon, Agent Deeks,” Kessler said and then the phone clicked loudly in Deeks’ ear.

“Son-of-a-!” Deeks shouted, slamming the phone against the dashboard as a half-sob tightened his throat. Even though he knew she wouldn’t pick up, he dialed Kensi’s number, swiping under his nose while he sped through busy intersections and swerved around slower vehicles.

It took seven minutes to reach their. Seven minutes too long. He swerved into the driveway, leaving his truck idling as he raced to the front door, slipping his gun from his waistband.

He turned the doorknob, finding it unlocked and his broke out in goosebumps as he walked in. Quickly glancing around, he noticed a table was overturned in the living room and several glasses and what looked like a platter were scattered across the floor.

There was a loud banging noise from above, like someone had knocked into a wall or thrown something, followed by a shout that he distinctly recognized as Kensi’s voice.

“Kensi!” Deeks called out without thinking as he raced for the stairs. He made it to the top landing when he heard a single gunshot coming from their bedroom. He jerked as though the bullet had pierced his body and he rocked back on his feet slightly.

Deeks stumbled to the door and yanked it open, desperately scanning the room. David Kessler lay in a crumpled heap a few feet from their bed. He was face down and blood was beginning to seep from beneath his body. Based on the hold in the middle of his back, he was almost certainly dead.

“Kensi,” he repeated more quietly, desperately.

“I’m over here,” she answered quietly. He found her on the other side of the bed, wedges against the crib, with Caleb cradled in her arms, head bent over him. Caleb was sleeping peacefully, his mouth slightly rounded as he breathed deeply.

“Are you ok? Is Caleb ok?” He kneeled in front of them, reaching out, but hesitating to touch them at the last second. Kensi nodded slowly, finally looking up.

“I made sure he didn’t lay a finger on Caleb,” she said hoarsely.

“Oh my god, Kens,” he whispered. Her lip was split and there was a nasty gash along her temple, blood trickling into her hair. Deeks noticed the beginnings of what looked like several bruises too and saw that her the collar of her shirt was torn.

“I’m fine.” She shook her head jerkily, her fingers closing around his chest. He grasped her forearms, gently tugging her into his arms as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

When he opened them again, he pressed his lips to Kensi’s forehead and then carefully bent forward to brush the lightest of kisses to Caleb’s cheek. His upper lip twitched, but otherwise he didn’t move.

“He’s finally gone,” Kensi whispered, her fingers grasping at his hand. They held each other, clinging to one another as the distant sound of sirens filled the air.

***

A/N: After talking it through with @mashmaiden, I decided that Kensi and Deeks live about 15 minutes from the mission and the streets were magically clear on this particular day.

[outerbonks]

complicated - jj maybank

Thanks for all the love on my last post, I really appreciate it ♡ let me know what you think of this one and if you think I should make more parts :)

Summary: You're a kook and JJ doesn't like you at all. That's what he wants everyone to believe anyway.

Word count: +2K

Warning (s): swearing, drinking

Masterlist ♡

Music pumped through the boneyard as you danced around with your friends, being a kook, you tried to avoid being on the pogue side of the island as much as possible, but keggers in the boneyard were impossible to pass up.

For the past fifteen minutes you'd been lost in the music, dancing and singing, admittedly buzzed from all of the cheap beer you'd drank throughout the night.

"Y/n! You came!" A voice called from behind you and you whipped around to see your friend Kie smiling brightly at you.

Giving her a big hug and returning her smile you nodded, "Yeah, great party!"

Kie was a sweetheart, you'd met her in school after her falling out with Sarah Cameron in the ninth grade, she was a breath of fresh air compared to some of the other snobs that attended the private high school and you both got along like a house on fire.

There was one issue with hanging out with her outside of school though. That issue was that her friends hated you- well, not all of them, only one of them actually, but he really really really didn't like you.

JJ Maybank has been a dick to you ever since he first met you. You don't remember doing anything to have pissed the hotheaded boy off but you never let his hostility fly.

Whenever he had something to quip at you, you had something just as snarky to throw back in his face. He didn't know anything about you yet felt the need to run his mouth about you as if he knew all of your deepest darkest secrets, when in reality the boy probably didn't even know your middle name.

At the beginning of your little rivalry with JJ, you had tried to be the bigger person and show him that you weren't like the other kooks. Of course he was having none of it.

So when Kie grabbed your hand and exclaimed, "Come sit with me and my friends!" Your stomach dropped and even in your tipsy state you knew that it wasn't a good idea.

"I dunno, Kie. I don't wanna fight with anyone tonight…" You trailed off with a pout, you'd had a shitty week at work and tonight was supposed to allow you to unwind and not be stressed out by a boy who hated you for reasons you didn't even know.

"Look, I'll handle JJ if he says anything okay? Just please come on, John B said he missed you." Kie pleaded with you, a triumphant 'yes' exiting her mouth when you sighed in defeat and began walking with her in the direction of her friends.

When you got to the boys who were all sat on logs, John B perked up, the tall boy immediately standing up to greet you with a hug.

"I haven't seen you in forever! Why haven't you been hanging out?" John B asked you with a concerned face, holding you at arms length.

"We've been super swamped at work, lots of new people coming in for the summer so I picked up a few extra shifts to help out." You explained to him but turned your face in the direction where the scoff had just come from.

"As if you need any more money than you already get from mommy and daddy." JJ grumbled sarcastically, looking to get a rise out of you.

You meant what you said to Kie earlier about not wanting to get in a fight, you were too tired.

"It's volunteer work, actually." You muttered bitterly before taking a seat between Kie and John B.

Most of your weekends and now weekdays since school ended for summer were spent volunteering at the old folks home on figure eight. It wasn't too stressful, you get paired up with an old person and you keep them company for the day, play board games and do things for them. It doesn't sound so bad, is exactly what you were thinking when you applied for it, but the hours were long and the nurses that worked there were assholes.

You'd dealt with enough snarky douche bags this week, you didn't want to have to deal with the blond boy too. You'd be using energy you just didn't have.

Luckily the conversation moved on quickly and you were all laughing at something Pope said.

"Do you want another beer?" John B asked you, standing up.

"No thanks. I think I've had enough." You giggled up at him and he nodded his head in agreement with a smile before heading to the keg.

Once he left, JJ wasted no time in stealing his seat and plopping down beside you.

You let out an irritated sigh but didn't say anything, you knew what was about to happen.

"Want a hit?" He asked, showing you the joint he'd rolled. You couldn't help but look at him in confusion, him offering you anything other than a snide remark was uncharacteristic.

"I guess." You responded unsurely, only to get a click of his tongue in return, "Damn sucks you don't have a joint then."

In all fairness you should've seen it coming. Rolling your eyes you turned your face away from him as he lit up the weed.

While you were ignoring JJ and enjoying a conversation with Pope and Kie you were interrupted by a Touron who tapped you on the shoulder.

"Hey." You couldn't lie, the boy standing in front of you with a shy smile on his face was gorgeous.

You smiled brightly, looking up at him from your spot, "Hi there."

JJ watched with narrow eyes as the guy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I was wondering if maybe you'd want to dance with me for a bit?"

Before you could even respond, JJ threw an arm around your shoulder casually and looked at the poor boy dead in the eyes, "No. She doesn't."

It was your turn to narrow your eyes as the boy scurried away.

"What the fuck?" You seethed at JJ, knocking his hand off your shoulder and turning to face him.

The boy in question shrugged his shoulders innocently, "Didn't think you wanted to dance."

"How the hell would you know what I want? You don't even know me." The words were laced in venom and it was clear that you'd finally had enough, not allowing the blue eyed boy to get a word in as you exploded.

"I get it, ok? You hate me and that's fine. But don't for a second pretend to know what I'm about because you don't know shit about me." Your jaw was clenched and you delivered your words through gritted teeth, poking his chest roughly as you spoke.

JJ scoffed out a laugh, grabbing your wrist to stop your relentless poking, "I know exactly what you're about, princess."

Looking at him with pursed lips you snatched your wrist from his grasp and crossed your arms over chest, "Tell me." The demand came out stone cold and JJ's face was covered in confusion, "What?"

"Tell me what I'm about." The boy stared at you in bewilderment before cocking his head to the side and nodding, "Alright."

JJ cleared his throat before he started rattling off reasons as to why he hated you, "You're just like every other kook on this island, a spoiled brat who gets everything handed to you."

Shaking your head at his answer you leaned closer to him with a glare that made a chill run up his spine.

"No no no. We all know what a kook is JJ, no I want you to tell me what I'm about. C'mon, what's my biggest fear?" You pushed at his chest again, enjoying how he swallowed thickly and stayed quiet.

"What age was I when it all started going wrong? Why can't I wear dresses to parties? Huh?" The boy kept quiet, he didn't have an answer to any of your questions and the point you were making started to dawn on him.

"Come on! Since you know everything about what I'm about you must know the answers." 

JJ let out an aggravated huff and threw his hands up in defeat, "Well I don't, alright?" He shouted defensively.

Giving him a fake smile and nodding you stood up, towering over him now.

"Right. Because you don't fucking know me. So stop acting like you do when you've never even bothered to get to know me." You spat at him before storming away.

Kie and Pope watched with dissatisfied looks on their faces, "Man, you suck do you know that?" Kie sighed out as she watched you get smaller and smaller.

"Also you do know Y/n is like the sweetest person on the planet right?" John B chimed in, returning from the keg.

"Why do you hate her?" Pope asked, tilting his head in confusion, JJ not liking you had just been something they all accepted and never questioned.

JJ shrugged, chugging his drink and tossing the cup to the side, "She's a kook." 

Kie scoffed this time, "Yeah and? Everyone else loves her. I don't get why you always have to make her feel bad, she tried really hard to get along with you." 

JJ's feeling towards you were complicated, the rudeness between the two of you had admittedly started off as just banter and when he realized he'd been enjoying the back and forth a little too much he needed to regain his distance. No way in hell could he fall for a kook princess, even if you were one of the nicest people he'd ever met.

He's never felt bad about the remarks he threw you or arguments he caused because you always gave as good as you got. It pissed him off because it only made him admire you more. He didn't notice it was taking a lasting effect on you until your little outburst.

To top things off, Kie, Pope and John B were always gushing about how much fun you were to hang out with and how they wanted to hang out with you more often, truth be told he'd love to see you hanging around more but his pride just would not allow him to get close to you.

"Look, if it would make you all chill out I will go and I will propose a truce so you can all go back to macking on Y/n in peace." The boy offered and was met with a chorus of thank yous from his friends.

He had to jog up the beach until he eventually found you sitting on the sand, close to the shore line with a bottle of water, attempting to sober up before you went home.

"Hey, princess." JJ said, voice flat as he sat down beside you on the cold sand.

You glanced at him briefly and sighed, "I'm not up for a round two."

The boy shook his head, staring out at the ocean thoughtfully, "That's not why I'm here."

Furrowing your brows you turned your face toward his, "Then why are you here?"

He ran his fingers through his hair then met your eyes, "I'm sorry that I'm an asshole."

He never usually apologized, but then again, you never usually snapped either so you were both full of surprises tonight.

"I'm not sorry for snapping at you. You deserved it." You replied softly, returning your gaze to the water in front of you.

JJ let out an airy laugh, nodding in agreement. 

"I don't hate you by the way." He confessed quietly.

"Then why are you so mean all the time?" You asked in return.

Instead of answering your question he posed a new one to you, "Do you wanna know what I'm about?"

You nodded, determined to get to the bottom of the boy beside you.

"I'm about keeping people at a distance. I do that by being an asshole. I'm about caring too much about my reputation to let myself be nice to you." To let myself fall for you. He wanted to say, but he couldn't put all of his cards on the table like that.

Nodding in understanding you let out a weak, "Pogues vs kooks… right." You knew for a fact that if you were considered one of the pogues JJ would've never had an issue with you.

"Right." The boy confirmed with yet another nod of his head. 

A silence settled over you both before JJ stood up, dusting himself off, "Come hang out with us this weekend. The others want you to be there."

Giving him a weak smile and a nod you watched as he walked away. That boy would never fail to confuse you.

You just hoped that now that he told you he didn't hate you, that maybe he'd start acting like it.

Part 2