#ok ok ok also let me just say seeing anastasia for the first time in this dress like—😳 i was crushing and i didn’t even know it

[pardonmydelays]

What musicals (current or past) would you like to see? And cast albums that are on your list to listen to?

ANON, I LOVE THIS QUESTION SO MUCH! THANK YOU!

so, the ones i really want to see at the moment (i'm not sure if you mean live or just bootlegs, but let's say both) &/or listen to (this is gonna be super chaotic i apologize in advance):

hadestown with jordan & lola, please... i love hadestown, i love eva & reeve but JORDAN & LOLA! 😭 they are something else, ok?

i am literally dying to see waitress live & i know it's possible in poland, so maybe this year?

hamilton, but for that i have to visit my sister in the uk

tick tick boom, because i only saw the movie, i wanna see the play as well

new york, new york because i was obsessively listening to the cast album last year so it's time to finally watch it

preludes, but i don't think this will ever happen, there are literally no recordings of that one & i am obsessed with the album... (let me just say dave malloy is criminally underrated)

anastasia is actually first on my list cause i haven't seen/listened to it yet

you guys are gonna hate me for this, but i haven't seen/listened to wicked yet... i always thought that maybe it's not exactly my thing but i also feel like i need to give it a try, cause it's a classic that everybody loves

i wanna see the great comet live please that would cure my broken soul (or just give me the bootleg with phillipa soo lol i don't think it exists)

i also need to listen to the rest of dave malloy's musicals, cause i only listened to those you can find on spotify (so ghost quartet, the great comet, preludes & octet - would love to see all of them live, especially ghost quartet, that would be an experience) - clown bible is first on my list

once - i've never seen the movie or the play but i absolutely love the song falling slowly from it so i guess i would love the musical as well

camelot with phillipa soo, because she's my wife & i would die for her

but also into the woods with phillipa soo because i couldn't find it anywhere & i don't even know if it was ever recorded

from the new ones i'd really love to see the notebook cause i've heard a lot of good things about it & i also love the movie so i bet the musical must be really good

also, the great gatsby with eva noblezada... my second wife. i really, really need to see this one

...those are just off the top of my head, but i am always open for suggestions, if you think i should watch/listen to something cause i may like it, just let me know!

[xstarkillerx]

✨ here and I had a whole discussion with my friends about Anakin and me being like “100% would love to handle this guy” and my friend was shocked as she could definitely not see Anakin as a sub. And it reaaaally got us heated like “no Anakin is definitely giving too energy” and me being like “I can’t imagine that sorry” and the thing you published about Anakin just giving his all while trying to hide his tears of frustration, I agree so so soooo much. Man is scared of his own attachment it just works perfectly

LMAOOOOOO, I love that y'all were debating about it. There are two wolves inside of every person, one wants to get absolutely railed by Anakin Skywalker, the other wants to make him cry. You guys could go back and forth on this debate forever, honestly. I do it every day.

Honestly, soooooo many versions of Anakin exist in my head, but I think the main one exists as this Christian grey type character (HEAR ME OUT, GIVE ME 2 MINUTES OK I SWEAR I CAN EXPLAIN).

Is Christian Grey a complex and well written character? Absolutely not, that entire series is dogshit, but the most interesting thing about him that I took away from those movies, is this admission of feeling like the weakest creature on earth.

mildly off the rails tangent below that I'm hoping no one thinks I'm fucking crazy for saying out loud. But sparkle anon, I think you more than anyone else will at least have a laugh about it so... CW for unhealthy BDSM practice mention, grooming mention, etc.

I was surprise to see that in that second movie, Christian actually admits that he's not a dominant, he's a sadist. NOT even in the BDSM sense of the term, which requires actual training, emotional, physical, and psychological awareness and care, but just a sadist in general. He's a very confused victim of grooming who gets off on hurting people who look like his mother. His first genuine act of emotional vulnerability with Anastasia, the first one that holds any real meaning to him, is getting on his knees and letting her violate a previously stated boundary (touching his chest), which is FUCKED UP but entirely telling of the values that were instilled in him when he was being groomed as a teenager, that love is submission, devotion is submission, and submission is self-destructive, which is horrible and I really empathize with that experience. He turns to this charade of dominance (and extremely unhealthy BDSM practice) as a rejection of his grooming but also as a way of expressing his pent up trauma that he refuses to address in a healthy way. However, when it comes time for him to show Ana who he is, be genuine with her, what does he do? He kneels, palms up, eyes to the floor.

The truth is, if he were able to find submission on his own, he would have a much better internal relationship with his submissive tendencies. (if I'm remembering correctly, I haven't seen the second film in ages)

So, how this connects to Anakin (in the way that I think and write about him) is that he probably sees things in the same way. For his own reasons (i.e. slavery, losing his mother, Palpatine's grooming), Anakin has problems relinquishing control, not just in a sexual sense but in a spiritual one too. He does not feel entirely comfortable giving things up to the will of the force.

So when it comes to you and the power you have over him, it completely tears him up inside to be at someone's mercy and it's something he clearly fights against when he's with you. Like, this isn't necessarily a sexy thought, but I almost picture him hating you sometimes because of it. Yet, how he expresses love for you, in his own fucked up little way, is to let you cross his boundaries and see hints of that submission. He lets you get on top, he lets you pull his hair, he lets you use his body, because he loves you and he loves it, he just can't help but feel conflicted and weak for how good he feels when you use him. So sometimes he fucks you rough with tears in his eyes crying and groaning in your ear about how much he fucking hates you, because his insides feel all twisted the fuck up.

Is this fucked up? probably, but I see it as being pretty aligned with his character.

ALSO SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG REPLY THAT PROBABLY MAKES NO SENSE, your asks always get my brain working, sparkle, dearest.

[ridingtedlassosjetskimustache]

My thoughts on 3x05 - Signs

@movrings Since I was unable to post my thoughts about the episode when it first came out, here’s my thoughts on it here!!

First off, concerned for Beard, he’s been increasingly wrong with small things recently and becoming more unsure of himself, part of me thinks this might have to do with Jane and his abusive relationship with her or it could be just a gag, but I’m hoping the former is actually addressed at some point

The whole “Shite in Nining Armor” thing being just a slip of the tongue seems a little too obvious, I’m still holding out hope it’s either about Jamie or Henry because i honestly don’t see the significance of that scene unless we’re talking about the mention of “soulmates” during it

Side-note: I absolutely despise John Wingsnight and this scene just made it worse, this guy sucks and deserves to be called a shite (he’s also incredibly creepy, Rebeca you dodged a very large bullet)

Anyway, “soulmate” mentioned!!

Also, I understand why Keeley can’t pick up the phone, but it is sad to see especially later in the episode

Jumping to the boys talking about Nate and Anastasia: i love how Isaac said that Nate’s “transformation is gonna be on the inside” like it has yet to happen. Obviously, he means it in a negative way, but for the audience, we know/hope that Nate’s transformation is going to be good and lead to a reconciliation! This is especially interesting to see coupled with Nate’s plot point within this episode

All i gotta say about Zava is fuck him, but i am sad we never got to see his wife and Smingus Dingus

I love the “injured monkey” bit the guys do to guilt Trent into telling them his idea and that Roy joined in

I love how i knew it was Henry that was actually the bully - definitely wanna know what he did to Doug

Roy’s monologue, the music, *chef’s kiss* (Love the way Ted handled that too lmao)

Higgins saying they should think about firing Ted and hearing Rebecca’s gasp before he even said it actually broke my heart

THE BISCUIT BOX

Watching Rebecca get her hopes up about what Trish said is killing me and i definitely cried so much this episode - love Higgins helping her out though

Straight up thought Nate was so fucking smooth with that phone call until it clicked lmao 💀

Ok The Scene™️:

I straight up screamed at this, i was freaking out

The same dress she was wearing when she bumped into Sam??

The way that they both use inverted greetings from what they normally do “Hey Boss/Hello Ted” to “Hey Coach/Hello Rebecca”

The way that they both stop at the exact moment and turn around to look at each other before meeting each other in the middle

The way that they already know what’s going on with the other without having to say anything

They way that their lives are so in sync and mirror the other’s and they don’t even realize it, but they’re both shocked by what the other said

Also, I know it’s the same place that Sam bumped into Rebecca last season, BUT it’s also the same exact place where Ted asked Rebecca how she was holding up after her divorce in the first episode of the first season and that shit just killed me

Proud of Keeley for firing Shandy

Watching Rebecca sit in that office killed me

Also the Emergency Contact 👀 i just know that’s gonna play into what’s happening in Amsterdam (perhaps after her falling into the canal)

Going back to Ted and Rebecca - Dr. Wagner asking her how she’s holding up??? Mirroring Ted’s words to her the first time they met??? I can’t remember where, but I’m pretty sure there’s an interview where Hannah mentions how important that scene is because Ted is the first person to really ask Rebecca how she’s doing during that and you can see the shock Hannah portrays on her face perfectly - anyways I’m emotional

So grateful Jan Maas is actually spotting Colin this time and not letting him choke like the other guys did lmao

Watching Ted go from water to wine after the mention of Jake was actually so painful, but also healing isn’t linear and just because we saw him do well last episode, doesn’t mean he’s healed now

Dan is my favorite and i love this anxious man

I’m sad we never got to see what’s in Barbara’s desk drawer

Love Roy’s hype up he does with the boys

I swear Henry was avoiding Ted because he didn’t wanna tell him he was bullying a kid lmao

I FUCKING LOVE JADE

Thinking about how upset Nathan got last season when someone got his name wrong, but he got called Nathan Jelly and he wasn’t timid this time or angry, he just let it slide off - you know what that is, that’s growth

I’ll say it again - Fuck Zava

Loving the bi representation with Keeley!! I know it was mentioned in season one, but it’s great to see on screen

Nate came to A Taste of Athens after he got promoted at Richmond 😭

Anyways watching Rebecca get that call in her office and Hannah’s face journey made me actually start sobbing oh my god like get this woman therapy and let me hold her

I just know that Jade would stand up to Nate’s dad for him

Watching Roy look at Jamie approvingly actually killed me and I’m so proud he got recognized in at least a small way

Watching Ted take himself out of a panic attack!!! I was so proud of him!! He was so proud of himself!!

“Your girlfriend runs off with some dude and it turns out they were soulmates” 👀 looking at you Sam

THE SPEECH!!! WE ARE GETTING OUT OF THE DARK FOREST

[bluespiritpaintedlady]

Chapter 10 (excerpt)

Notes: Today, Anastasia meets the girls for the first time. She is hanging out with them and doing a “dry run”. Hakkai shows up. Posting this is a bit of a spoiler. But so was the Draken chapter. I want to post things here but you’re also seeing bits of the story that you probably shouldn’t be seeing yet. :) But oh well…I mean what’re ya gonna do, y’know? So, I hope if anyone reads this that they enjoy it. The year is 2011. Anastasia is 22, Mitsuya is 20, Hakkai is 19, Luna is 13 and Mana is 11. Long periods of italicized text represent character’s thoughts.

Excerpt From: Love Endures by: bluespiritpaintedlady on Ao3

—————————————————————————————————

Taking his apron off, he hung it by the kitchen door on the hook and walked back out into the living room to see what the girls were up to. What the hell? Panic struck his heart. Cold black icy panic. They were gone. Where are they?!? “Lunaaaaa! Manaaaaaa!! Anastasiaaaa!” What’s going on here? Where are they? He rushes towards the door only to have it swung open, narrowly missing his face. “Oh shit! Sorry, Taka-chan!” He starts laughing.

“Hakkai?! What are you doing here?” He lowers his voice a tad. “I specifically told you not to come over today because I was going to be interviewing people for the Nanny job.”

Hakkai looks back over his shoulder to where Anastasia and the two girls are playing hopscotch on the sidewalk and points his thumb behind him. “Yeah… “interviewing” huh? Isn’t that the girl that broke yer heart at the fashion show? What’s she doing here?”

He said it a bit gruffly. Mitsuya had to smile. Hakkai gets more upset for me than even I get upset, he thinks to himself and rolls his eyes. “Hakkaiiiiii, you gotta let the things that happen in my life go. I’m a big boy, y’know? I can take care of myself, ok?” “Yeah, well, that’s all fine and good”, he mumbles, “but anyone ever hurts you, I’ll kill ‘em”.

Mitsuya could only make out the words ‘hurt’, ‘you’ and ‘kill’ but the meaning of his words were very clear. “Violence is not the answerrrr, Hakkai. You know that.” “Jussayin is all. Somebody’s gotta watch yer back…especially now that yer basically out of Toman”. Some hurt comes to his face.

“Hey, Hakk, buddy, look…we talked about this, remember? I need to do this. For the girls, for Draken, for me. It doesn’t mean I love any of you guys any less, I just needed to break away for my family’s sake.”

“Yeah, but you have to leave your other family in order to do it”. “Hakkai, I didn’t LEAVE you guys. I mean not really. I’m right here! And I’m not going anywhere, ok?”

He puts his arm around Hakkai’s back, hanging his hand on his shoulder (Hakkai is way too tall for Mitsuya to do anything else) and walks out towards the girls. “Hey, there you guys are! I didn’t know where you went. Heh heh…” He shoots a little look over at Anastasia. She mouths the word ‘sorry’ and shrugs.

“Kashi, stop worrying all the time, we’re fine. Anastasia’s here with us. You don’t have to be so stressed about us all the time. I’m thirteeennn!” “Ok, I know that. But you also know our rules, right? And they arrrre…?” He crosses his arms and waits for them to repeat the directive… “Don’t go anywhere unless we ask or tell you first.” Luna repeats the rule with exaggerated eyerolls. “I know, but…”

“I can’t really be mad at Anastasia because she didn’t know our rule, yet. But now she does so I’m sure it won’t happen again. “See? This is what I’m talkin about, Stasia.” Mitsuya turns wide-eyed. “This is what you’re talking about, huh? Come here you little urchin”, she screams and runs behind Hakkai. “Save me Hawky-san!” 

“Soooo, not only are you guys on a nickname basis with each other already, after just a coupla hours by the way, but now you’re sharin secrets?! Wow…well, ok. It looks like I’m no longer needed here. Come on Hakkai, let’s go grab a beer.” “Yosssh! I’m down”, he says and they start to walk away down the sidewalk.

“Noooo, Kashiii! I was just joking!” When he hears the little tremble at the end of the word, he turns around, his heart breaking. “Aww, come here my little kawaii on’nanoko”. “Oniichannnn!”, she yells and runs to him and buries her face in his chest.

“Hey, I was just messin with you. We would never leave you, right Hakkai?” Hakkai vigorously shakes his head. “You know you’re pretty lucky to have not just one amazing brother, but you have Hakkai, too”. “Hey!”, he shouts and punches Mitsuya in the arm. “Ow! Fucker!” He punches him back.

Mana, who is watching the whole thing with a goofy grin on her face starts repeating very loudly, “Fucker! Fucker! Fuuuucckerrr!” “Shit! Sorry, Mana. Taka shouldn’t have said that.” He shoots a death stare at Hakkai. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” Now she’s laughing. “Ugh, I can’t win with these guys”, he facepalms and looks to Anastasia for help again.

She crinkles up her nose in thought and when the idea comes she holds up her finger, as if to say, ‘Aha!’ “Oh Mana! I forgot I had a surprise for you inside. Let’s go see it, ok?” “Ooooh! Yay! I can’t wait.” And they run off inside together. The other three follow closely behind her.

Suddenly, Mitsuya stops, he puts an arm out in front of Hakkai to keep him from moving forward and lets Luna continue on in the house, running after Mana and Anastasia. He looks over at his friend.

“Soooo, I can’t help but notice you’re still here, Hakkai”. He gives him a look. “Ok, yeah, so I know you said not to come today but in my defense I didn’t know she’d still be here for dinner. I mean, what the fuck? Is she moving in or something?” A clear twinge of jealousy ripples across his surface.

“Stop, Hakkai, she’s not moving in and she’s not taking me away from you”. He rolls his eyes. “Things have just been going really…well and so I just let things progress to see how they turned out. This is all a dry-run for her. A test…” “Well, did she pass?”

“Oh, yeah. I can’t imagine anyone more perfect, um, for this position.” He can’t deny the slight blush on his cheeks and Hakkai definitely notices it. “Well, what about me?? I’m perfect too, right, Taka-chan?”

He gives Mitsuya his best puppy dog eyes, trying to cover up his hurt. Mitsuya praises him, and tells him that, yes, he is perfect and it’s as if all the lights in the city had been turned on at once right beneath his surface. He's just like Luna in that way, he thought to himself. “We REALLY need to find you a girlfriend tho, my friend. You’re too beautiful to be single.”

“Well, I agree but…”, he can’t say it out loud. “I’m sorry if I’m being annoying or clingy, Taka-chan.” He hung his head in shame and hurt. “Hakkaaaaiiiii…”

He looked up and Mitsuya was right there. He blushed slightly as much as he tried to keep it from happening and Mitsuya embraced him. “You’re my brother... Will I ever leave those two girls?” “No.” “Then, will I ever leave you?” “No, I guess not.” “And beyond that, you’re also my best friend. That’s for life. I’m just saying that you need someone else in your life that loves you as much as I do. More, actually.” “Ok…”, he says and a smile slowly creeps back onto his face.

And then boom, just like that he picks back up with his typical manic self. “I basically just want to find a girl version of you tho, Mitsuya.” “Hakkaaaiii….”, he corrects mildly and shakes his head. “She’d be pretty ugly, don’t ya think?” “Taka-CHAN! You shouldn’t say such things about yourself. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen! Women would love to look as beautiful as you…” “Oh yeah? Well, what about you, Mr. Model?” He blushes again.

“Yeah, well, obviously I’m not pretty enough or I’d be winning hearts left and right. “Noooo, we’ve been over this a thousand times, Hakkai. You’ll never find someone if you spend all your time here with us. You gotta get out there and meet people, talk to them, engage in conversations…” “You know I can’t talk to girls tho, Taka-chan. I freeze up, man. I don’t know what it is…” “Ok…”

He knows he has to tread lightly here. “Well, what about boys, then?” An offended gasp is heard. “Nooo, I don’t like boys. Well, except maybe one…” He turns scarlet.

“Ok…” Mitsuya knows who they are talking about now. “And does that boy feel the same about you?” “I…I…I don’t think so. But I keep hoping he will”. “Well… Maybe, you’re barking up the wrong tree with that one?” “Maybe… but I love him so much.” He’s back to scarlet.

“I know you do, I know…” He puts his hand on Hakkai’s shoulder. “…and he’d be lucky to have you. You are amazing, Hakkai. You just need to find someone who sees you the way you see m-uh-him. Right?” “Ok, but again, I can’t talk to girls and there isn’t anyone out there who sees me like that. No one ever could.”

“But, you don’t know that, Hakkai!”, he said with a bit more frustration than he should’ve had. “Because you’ve never really tried to find them. Plus, you were talkin just fine to Anastasia…” “That’s different.” “Why is it different? She’s a girl…” “I dunno, Taka… Maybe because she’s yours and cuz you expect me too.” “Hey, she’s not mine or anything, Hakk”. A flutter flies through his body at the thought, though.

“Well, whatever. She might as well be. I already know she will be.” “How could you possibly know that, Hakkai? We might as well have just met…” “I can just tell, Takaaa. Plus, I know because it’s YOU. You’re amazing and charming and reeeally good-looking and smart, I mean, come onnn, do I have to keep going here? No one can resist you, man.” “Uhhhh, I beg to differ… seeing as I’ve only been in one serious relationship and it didn’t even last 6 months. Nothin to write home about, in the end… Unless it was about how awful it was. Ugh….”

“Yeah, but that’s just more of why you’re so amazing. You put everybody else’s desires and needs ahead of your own. You sacrificed what youneeded in life to take care of everyone else… Luna, Mana, Me… And so you never even gave yourself the time or opportunity to get close to anyone.” “Well, ok…yeah, but…” “But, nothing. You are amazing! And you don’t see it for some strange reason.”

“Hey, wait a minute! How did this turn into something about me? We’re talking about YOU and how you need to meet a girl.” Hakkai rolls his eyes and sighs loudly. “Come on. You need to at least try, Hakkai. Try and talk to someone, anyone.” “Why? People are stupid. None of them hold a candle to you”. “Hakkaiiiii! Oh my God, I’m going to smack you!”, he says and shakes his head.

Oh boy… I’ve really let this go on for far too long, haven’t I?, he thinks to himself. I’m gonna end up having to really hurt his heart in order to get him to move on with his life and I REALLY don’t want to do that. Especially after all the progress he’s made…all the work I put into helping him grow. This is going to be brutal. He tries to push it aside and turns to Hakkai again.

“Ok, look you can join us for dinner but then you have to go home, ok?” “Fine! You don’t have to be so mean, Taka-chan!” Mitsuya chuckles. “I’m establishing boundaries, Hakkai. I’m not being mean…” Yet, he thinks and drops his head. They walk into the house.

[mrs-nubenueve]

so, @burning-the-trees is writing a sakuatsu anastasia!au, and, just contemplating the concept for one second, i knew i had to make atsumu and The Dress a reality…

[writingforatwistedworld]

The Greek mythology always got me. Why did Disney even try to adapt this??? Although no where near as bad as that Anastasia movie where they kidify the massacre of an entire family

Ok I never saw Anastasia before so I watched it just bc of this and oh boy, that should not exist.

Ok but first to Hercules. I mean, it's at best a bad retelling of Greek mythology but it doesn't harm anyone. (And I also have to defend it because Hades is in my eyes the best Disney villain ever. I laughed at that joke he did at the beginning where every God was silent, ok?) It’s also not based on true deaths and as such, can be seen in a pretty “ok you're not really good at telling the real story but at the same time six years old are seeing this so ok.”

But Anastasia? Uh no. Let me conclude the whole real thing that happened: The family Romanow was killed because they were the ruling family of Russia during their time. Because things didn't go as good as they should the people rose up and killed them over the years. As far as I know, they never fled happily to Paris and only the poor poor Anastasia was left behind without any memories. Oh no. They were held captive and with 17 Anastasia was also killed. In Russia. (Note: I am not a expert when it comes to Russian history. Some points can be wrong.)

This is actually a family that died. They were held captive and even if you say “Well they had it coming. They ruled bad” then you are talking about the facts but they didn't just kill the ruler. They killed the entire close family. Members that were too young to understand what was going on. Death is a very sensitive subject and I do think that it is alright to make a film about someones tragic fate. However, I also believe that this has to be done in a way that is respectful towards the dead and do you believe that a sorcerer killing them all somewhere in a weird place is respectful? No, of course not.

[winnix85]

About Lewis Nixon’s mother Doris Ryer Nixon (Mrs Stanhope Nixon)

Source: mostly from old newspapers and digitized documents (I can’t guarantee the accuracy because they are fragmented information. I will just put it out there for someone may find some interesting useful backstories).

Doris Ryer was born on Oct 1 1894.

Her father Fletcher Ryer was a wealthy pioneer agriculturalist in California. He owned 6,600-acre (27 km2) ranch on Ryer Island, which was named in their honor. Because Doris was his only heiress, this ranch all went to Doris and then to Lewis Nixon III and ultimately to Grace Nixon. It's an agricultural (instead of livestocks) ranch. They grew crops, fruits and vegetables such as wheat, milo, safflower, pears, apples, cherries, grapes, tomatoes and asparagus. They produced such large amount of asparagus that Doris's mother, Mrs Ryer was nicknamed Asparagus Queen back then. This farm is still up and running today, managed by Clarence Hester from 1950s to 1990s (Nix' war buddy, the regimental S3, the one who wrestled with Dick in that photo), after him by his son Thomas Hester.

Doris was educated at Madame Payen's school in Paris from 1906 to 1914 (her entire high school).

Fletcher Ryer died an early death in 1911 (when Doris was about 16). Doris was close to her mother Mrs Blanche Ryer. Mrs Blanche Ryer, though very charming, married very very young. As a pretty, attractive, wealthy widow she determined to ensure that her daughter Doris have a brilliant "bellehood" as a girl. She took Doris to tour around the world. For example, in Sep1913, they traveled to Russia to present Doris at the court of Tsar Nicholas II (Very inconvenient timing, I have to say).

Doris was very sweet and attractive, with pretty black eyes. Her mother has always been most ambitious for her handsome daughter. She aimed to marry Doris to British aristocracy. Doris was presented at Buckingham Palace in 1914, wearing "a white satin princess gown embroidered in pearls and brilliants". Mrs Ryer has had her eye on several members of the British aristocracy for Doris, "but this cruel war, of course, smashed all of her well-laid plans to smithereens." She has to stoop so low to choose from American heirs.

Doris married Stanhope in Jan 1917 in New York at Church of Heavenly Rest. Their wedding was the social event of the year. Guests from coast to coast attended Nixon-Ryer wedding.

The bride's costume was soft white satin, made in combination with pearl embroidered net. She worn a lovely veil, the same that had been worn by her grandmother at her wedding, which was held in place with a band of diamonds. Her only other ornament was a necklace of diamonds with a large pear-shaped diamond pendant, the gift of the bridegroom.

Because the father of bride has died, she was given away by governor of New York Charles S. Whitman. Among those in attendance were the Brazilian ambassador and Argentine ambassador.

After the wedding the new couple went to Bermuda for honeymoon and then they lived at 52 East Fifty-second Street NYC (but later moved to 46 East 65 Street). In 1920 census, the household of the new couple included Stanhope the head of the house, Doris the wife, Lewis the one and half yr old old baby son, and a butler and 3 maids. They also have a suburb house at 167 Grange Ave, New Jersey (a 20-room estate, equiped with oil burning hot water heat, a 4-car garage, servants quarters, a boat house and a stable).

After marrying off her daughter to the Nixons, Mrs Blanche Ryer re-married in 1920 to Clifford Erskine-Bolst, a British conservative party politician. Mr Erskine-Bolst was elected to the British House of Commons in 1923 and again in 1931. To help him win the election, she made generous donations to King George's Hospital in England. She campained hard for him, making speeches and appealing to the constituency in the South Hackney district. 

In 1920s, mama Doris bought a villa at Riviera France from the late Grand Duchess Anastasia of Russia. She lived there until her death in 1939 (This villa went to Nix. But he didn't like living there, too much hassle to open the house. He prefered to stay at the hotel Cap Estel. In 1950s he leased it to the Kennedys).

Doris and Stanhope seemed to be ok in 1920s. They attended social events together and traveled to England together. After Lew, they had a baby boy in 1922 (who tragically died in 3 months. Doris' mother went to New York to be with her.) Then they had Blanche Nixon in Aug 1924 (also born in NYC). While living in NYC, it seems little Lew was often spending time with his grandfather. Grandpa often took him to play at central park. For example, he took Lew to that model yacht regatta in central park when he was 7, and to skate in central park in Jan 1927 when lew was 8. In 1927, Doris took 2 yr old Blanche to France to visit her mother, but she didn't take Lew (maybe he was too naughty?). Anyway, Doris took Blanche to see grandma almost every year but Lew was only with them on one visit when he was 10 yr old.

Doris appeared to be lonely and out of place in the social circle of New York. Here is a social note about her in 1929: "A remarkable girl with her embroidery frame, actually engaged in a simple, normal occupation in a land where the atmosphere is charged with hang-overs, gambling-losses and mistrust. Nobody around here looks twice at a woman with mauve hair like Madame de Roch, or at a man with ear-rings and a bracelet on his ankle. But let a girl take out a half-finished centerpiece and commence embroidering and every lorgnette in the crowd is whipped into place."

At the end of 1920s, Doris seemed to be so unhappy to live on the east coast anymore, and she still regarded CA to be her real home. Stanhope sold their house in New Jersey and bought a new house in Montecito (also a mansion with a large stable and everything). In the 1930 census they were living at 180 Cold Spring Road, montecito, CA (Stanhope, Doris, Lewis (11yr), Blanche(5yr), and a French governess, and 2 servants). Lew attended boarding school at Cate School in Santa Barbara.

In social notes in 1930s, Stanhope and Doris mainly attended social events in CA (Santa Barbara and San Francisco), they also travel to New York to visit Mr and Mrs Lewis Nixon Sr.. The family traveled a lot, not only back and forth between east-west coasts, but also trips abroad. Doris always took Blanche with her, but Lew traveled on his own even when he was as young as 15 yr old. It appears that Doris and Stanhope's relationship has gone sour in 1930s. For example, in this 1934 social note: "The Stanhope Nixons will spend the Christmas holidays with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Nixon. Mr Nixon will return to California on Jan 1, and Mrs Nixon will sail for Europe to spend six months on the Riviera with her mother." (almost as if Doris was running away from Stanhope and hide in France after briefly met him on Xmas day. Meanwhile 15 yr old Lew was at boarding school in CA).

In 1940 census, Doris and Blanche were still living at 180 Cold Spring Road, montecito, CA (with a housekeeper, a cook and a maid). Stanhope was no longer in this household. Maybe they have separated. Lew was also not in this household for he has left for college.

Among the CA high society, Doris was a all-around likable person: "Doris is always bubbling over with enthusiasm, her joy of living and her wit making her a welcome guest at any affair". She was very enthusiastic about opera (and art events in general, such as oriental dance). She attended the openning of Opera Season at San Francisco every year (usually with Blanche, and she will grab Lew when she can catch him). In 1940, she offered a prize for the "Best one act play" to stimulate interest in the Lobero Theater of Santa Barbara. She also went to see excellent plays in New York when it's in season and made some witty comments about the remarkable fashion trends in New York: "The only lavender and old lace that you see today is on the individual--the lavender in the tinted hair, and the lace on the dainty unmentionables."

After the Pearl Harbor Attack, Doris turned from a socialite to a civic leader. In 1942 she became the national vice-president of the American Women's Voluntary Services (AWVS) (and during ww2). The AWVS recruited and trained women to harvest crops, do nurse works, driving trucks and sell war bonds. She encouraged women to show more interest in international affairs. She also founded Guide Dogs for the Blind in 1943 (primarily to help the blinded veterans) and she made generous donations. In addition, she was the state commander of the California Cancer Society.

The AWVS duties kept her so busy, she has to relinquish her box at the opera house. She only had long enough time to have a toasted chicken sandwich for lunch. She put generous amount of English mustard on her sandwich. When her friends cautioned her not to put too much, she said:"If it puts me out, I will be a most excellent subject for the first aid class I am about to attend, and we will all find out how much we know!"

In the summer of 1945, Doris and Stanhope finally divorced (Stanhope even filed counter-suits seeking divorce on the grounds of desertion). They divorced in August, and Stanhope married "the Blond" in September 1945.

In June 1948, Doris died at home (944 Chestnut Str San Francisco CA). She had a stroke (and she always had hypertention). It seems her death was an unexpected sudden death because one month before she was still traveling around France with her daughter Blanche. Her will dictated to split her legacy equally between Blanche and Lew. She also left generous amount of money to employees such as housekeeper, secretary. For a former maid, she gave her $225 monthly for life.

[fanfiction-funtime]

I have many ideas now

Anastasia x reader kind of a first meeting thing? Like they see each other and feel their heart skip a beat or something and then one just goes up and says hi and then

Conversation😳😳

And then also Anastasia taking the reader to meet the sprites and seeing how wonderful they are with her siblings and just 😳😳😳

Sorry I’m no thoughts only Anastasia rn

Finally getting around to this bestie! The lizards are running at mach three around their rocks.

Slow start I think but when i get to the family part i think it goes well.

And I'm trying to use inclusive options for height and such, you'll know it when you see it. Tell me what you think of it!

_____________________

You had no idea how you had gotten so lucky.

You had been crushing hard on Anastasia from afar, she always carried herself with such distinction and poise, when she walks into a room it's like she owns the place. Her actions, words, even her heavy Schneznayan accent makes her seem like royalty from old books of knightly kings in shining armor.

So when you went up to her, trying to see if you could subtly ask her(read: be painfully obvious in your desperation to be her lover), you expected to be shot down in the same way most people were by her. With the dreaded, "oh you want to be super best friends? Sure!".

You did NOT expect her to literally steam off her skin and turn into a cryosprite.

"I-uh-I would-it be-I-s-sure we can date!" The Sprite barely managed out before fainting into your arms.

(Basically the Story x Anastasia Interaction chain but it ends differently)

And now you're sitting in Wangsheng funeral parlor getting dressed up by Hu Tao who's laughing her ass off.

"You-you fuckin-baHAH! YOU ASKED OUT A FUCKIN GOD'S DAUGHTER? LIKE THAT? AHAHA!"

"Come on Hu, I'm already embarrassed enough here! No need to kill me with it!"

"Well your already dressed for the occasion!"

"HU!"

The you were learning tea ceremony from Zhongli.

"No no, you need to pour it PROPERLY. You know how important this is for Anastasia!"

"Yes sir!"

"...also why do you look like a corpse?"

"Dont ask."

The you were learning how to pour vodka like tea from Venti.

"Look (y/n), even if you don't drink it you have to k no ow how to pour it for her. To my sister, Vodka is far more than just alchohol, it's a means to connect with their best friend. Pour it right, and you'll basically have their heart in your hands."

"This advice doesn't make much sense..."

"Why else do you think I drink dandelion wine?"

"To forget."

"HA! I wish..."

______________________

(If your religion or beliefs prevent you from even touching alchohol)

You also ran into Dainsleif.

"I heard you're going to date Anastasia. She's my best friend's daughter so her happiness is extremely important to me, but since you can't touch alchohol it would be a bit difficult to get the perfect date. So I made you these," he handed you a pair of white and real gloves, "they use magnetism-er-a special scientific force to hold alchohol without physical contact."

"How does that-"

He sighed, "Khaen'rian majiks."

"OH SWEET!"

______________________

And after all that, it was finally time for your date.

Diluc set up a special picnic gazebo out in starsnatched cliff for you two, and Xiangling and Diona were hired to serve you both food.

When you asked Anastasia about why and how such an extravagant date came to be she said that her father had many favors, and even more friends who had favors.

______________________

(Ok I have no idea how to write the date. Imagine it how you want, and send a first date prompt if you want. For now, let's skip to introducing you to the family!)

______________________

"A-are you sure about this, Anastasia?"

"Of course darling," she says, pulling your head onto her (shoulder/chest/stomach/waist depending on your height), "my dad will love you! My siblings even more so!"

She (brushed bangs out of your eyes/straightened your hair/pet your head/carefully fixed a small wrinkle in your head wrapping) then put a symbol on your hand, "just keep one rule in mind: dont ask for Junior's name."

Suddenly you were sucked into Anastasia's fake vision, which turned out to also be a conduit to a serenitea pot dimension!

As you looked around the floating island, taking in the Inazuman themed furnishings, complete with a rock garden and samurai statues! In the center of it all was a grand building that reminded you of a painting of the ancient, pre-Baal era Inazuma capital.

"Amazing isn't it?" Anastasia said as she took your hand, "reminds us all of home. Come on, let me show you the inside!"

Inside you found her family waiting patiently at a table, with one empty seat...

Prick

"Ow!" You responded.

A Dendrodsprite slinkied up your back and on to your shoulder.

"Hmmm, (your blood type), (Teyvat ethnicity), and.....quite familiar with the.....divine..."

"Leafy, sit down. This is an important part of their relationship." Came a commanding voice from behind a paper curtain.

A light shone from behind the curtain causing a cloaked silhouette to appear on it, the silhouette then stood up and walked out from behind the curtain and into the room.

He wore a multicolored cloak going from a hooded and half masked head and extending to just below his knees, and beneath that he wore black colored leather.

"My name is Spritefather, and I do believe you're name is (y/n)." he said.

"Y-yes sir!"

"Oh please no news to be so formal," he says as he tale the seat on the other end of the table from you, in the seat facing him to the door, "call me dad."

______________________

The dinner was going smoothly. You were Introduced to Anastasia's siblings, and they all seemed to like you.

Then Spritefather asked, "so, when can I expect grandkids?"

Anastasia spit out her drink, and you choked a bit on your food.

"FATHER!"

"What? Kids are great!"

______________________

(If your infertile, unwilling, or otherwise can't her pregnant despite having the necessary orgaans. And if your afab then you know about Sprites being able to on get women pregnant without the neccessary organs)

_____________________

"S-sorry sir, but...I'm afraid I can't (get pregnant/get your daughter pregnant). I'm..."

Anastasia speaks up for you. Knowing how uncomfortable you feel about it, "they're (to afraid of pregnancy/infertile/any problem I do not know of that you may have). But they're a great person!"

"Y-yes sir! I may not be able to give you grandkids, but I can give you the happiest-"

"OH SHIT I'M SO SORRY!" Spritefather shouted, crying, "IF I HAD KNOWN I NEVER WOULD HAVE ASKED!"

Spritefather flies towards you and cradles you in his arms, but chances are he's far more afraid of you being upset than you are upset

"It's ok! As long as you make her happy you can date her! And I'm so sorry I made you uncomfortable! You're my lovely child in law and your perfect just as you are!"

He hugged you the entire dinner(unless you asked him to stop).

_____________________

(If your Afab)

"Well, there's a problem there..."

"Is it about you being a woman? If so that's hardly a problem for Sprites."

"I'm-wait what?"

Anastasia chuckled, "yeah...I was going to tell you eventually....see since we can change forms at will, we don't really have such problems..."

_____________________

(If your amab or otherwise have the necessary organs)

"I-welll..M-maybe after we-"

"Father, you know how awkward that is to ask!"

"Oh come on. They already knew it was possible, so you can't tell me you never thought of it-"

"FATHER!"

_____________________

(If you prefer to adopt)

"Well we were thinking, after we get married," you began.

Anastasia held your hand, "we would adopt."

"That's WONDERFUL!" Spritefather shouted in excitement, "so when's the wedding!?"

"FATHER!"

_____________________

I am not quite sure how to continue this. Honestly it's not even my adhd, it's just not really any ideas. It was a bit hard to write for the kids part, as I know reader insert fics are done for self fulfilling fantasies (which is perfectly fine) so I wanted to include scenarios for every type of person I could. And I really hope I didn't leave anyone out.

I hope it was good enough for you story! If you have any extra prompts that'd be great!

(Tagging: @golden-wingseos, @storytravelled)

Also remember, if you want to be tagged just tell me.

[lyranova]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a Greyche fic about Grey and Gauche kinda running into her stepsisters and Gauche getting all protective of Grey. Maybe even Gauche learning Grey’s real name (or rather what you think it might be since her manga profile says her real name is unknown)

Hello anon 🥰! Oooh i love this idea I wrote something similar to it for ‘You are Beautiful Pt. 2’ so I’m all for Gauche protecting Grey and vice versa! Also I hope you like this! I actually forgot Grey wasn’t her real name lmao, so I gave her two different names lol. I hope you all enjoy!

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,494

Warnings: None

———-

Gauche couldn’t stop the small groan from escaping his lips, he was currently being dragged around the Capital by a very happy Grey. They had just gotten engaged a few days ago and Grey was already wanting to shop for things for the wedding. They had both agreed it would be a small one, a very small one, only the Black Bulls, Marie, and the Officiant would be there. Grey had told him that even just having all of them made her nervous, Gauche had suggested eloping but Grey didn’t like that idea. So a very small wedding it was.

“ Now, where would we find the winery?” Grey mused softly to herself as she looked around, Gauche shrugged.

“ No idea, but you do realize when you said we were buying stuff for the wedding I thought you meant decorations. Not gifts for the others.” Gauche told her, he watched a small blush appear on her pale cheeks.

“ I-I know, it’s just...I want to get them something special, y’know? Since they’re attending and have been supporting us this entire time.” Grey muttered softly as she wrung her hands, it was true, the Black Bulls all had supported their relationship since the very beginning, even if they kind of threatened him if he ever broke Grey’s heart. But they all knew he wouldn’t, he loved her too much.

“ I know, I know. But technically they’re supposed to be the one’s buying us gifts. Or at least from what I’ve heard anyway.” Gauche scratched the back of his head in slight confusion. “ Anyway, why don’t we get decorations for the wedding and get the others gifts later?” Gauche suggested, Grey seemed to mull over his offer for a moment before finally nodding.

“ Ok!” She announced happily, Gauche smiled softly at his blue haired fiancé. This was the happiest and most excited he had ever seen her, and it made him very happy to see her like this. Grey and Gauche walked on for a few more minutes before a soft gasp could be heard.

“ Blaise?!” A woman exclaimed, Grey froze in place at both the name and the voice. Her heart beating rapidly in her chest, she slowly turned around and saw two women she had never hoped to see again. Her step-sisters; Anna and Rize. Both hadn’t changed one bit, their blonde curls the exact same as they had been all those years ago, both still looked as stuck up and snobby as ever.

“ ‘Blaise’? I think you ladies have the wrong person.” Gauche said before trying to walk away, Grey made a small noise and he turned to look at her; Grey’s face was a deep shade of red, her hands clenched tightly to her chest, and she looked very upset. “ Grey?” He asked curiously, she wouldn’t even look up at him. He frowned in confusion before he heard one of the girls snicker.

“ Ah I see, she’s been using an alias hm? This ‘Grey’ person that you speak of, her real name is Blaise, because she stammers a lot.” Rize giggled, Anna lightly slapped her sister on the shoulder.

“ Oh Rize don’t be mean, she can’t help she wasn’t afforded the same private tutors as we were.” Anna giggled as well.

Gauche clenched his fist and teeth tightly, how dare these...horrible excuses for human beings talk down and belittle Grey?! And in front of him no less?! He looked over at her and he noticed her hands quickly went up to cover her face.

“ Besides, even if she was afforded the same tutors as us, it’s not like it would do Blaise any good. She’d still be a stammering idiot who can barely clean a floor properly, let alone speak properly.” Anna and Rize began to laugh and Gauche finally had enough, he conjured up a mirror and a small blast of energy shot out of it and hit a spot on the ground between the two women.

“ Funny, the only idiots I see here are you two.” Gauche began coldly, not even attempting to hide his disdain for the women, no, monsters in front of him. “ You two, heh, you only wish you were half as amazing as Grey. Who the hell cares if she speaks ‘properly’ or that she ‘stammers’? I for sure don’t. That’s just who Grey is and if you think I’m just gonna sit here and let you two idiots insult my wife, then you’ve got another thing coming.” He growled, Rize smirked at him.

“ ‘Wife’? Isn’t she a little old for you boy?” She taunted, Gauche glared at the blonde monster. What did their age difference have to do with anything? Sure Grey was five years older than him, but what did that have to do with anything? They were both consenting adults who loved each other, if it was him that was older than her there wouldn’t be a big issue.

“ Heh. Oh I’m far from being a boy you old hag.” Gauche growled again before another mirror was conjured up, but to his surprise, Grey ran in front of him and held her arms out to block him. “ Get out of the way Grey.”

“ No!” Grey shook her head, her jaw set. Her face was somewhat red from her earlier embarrassment, but she was determined to keep him from hurting them.

“ Get out of the way.” He growled again, but she still shook her head firmly.

“ No and you want to know why? Because they’re not worth going back to prison over! If you kill them, or even injure them slightly, they will call the magic knights and you will be arrested again and I…” she paused for a minute, her eyes drifting to the ground again before looking back up into Gauche’s eyes. There was a fiery passion in them. “ I’m not going to lose you!” She shouted, causing everyone to stop and look at her, which only made her even more embarrassed.

Gauche looked at Grey, his eyes challenging hers, a part of him was hoping she would falter and allow him to put the monsters in their place. But her eyes held steely determination in them, she wasn’t backing down on this. He smirked a bit, oh he really liked this side of Grey. He blinked slowly, a small sigh escaping his lips, before his eyes broke away from hers and he looked at the monsters behind her.

“ Heh. You hags are lucky, if Grey wasn’t here, you’d both be dead right now. But, Grey wants me to stay out of prison, so I’m going to spare you for now.” Gauche’s glare returned. “ But if you ever say anything bad about Grey again and I find out about it? I won’t be as merciful as I was today.” He quickly grabbed Greys hand and they walked away, after they were a good distance away Gauche turned to look at her.

“ The night we first met, you looked like those girls, are they your step-sisters?” He asked softly, she had only mentioned her family in passing, but by the ashamed look on her face he was right in his assumption.

“ Yeah, they are.” She muttered, looking down at the ground again. Why did she have to run into them today? When she was so happy about being engaged and being able to finally be happy?

“ Well, they’re for sure not coming to the wedding.” Gauche tried to joke, but Grey only nodded, he sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

“ So Blaise is your real name huh?” He asked curiously, the monsters called her that multiple times. He saw Grey shake her head and that only confused him more.

“ No. T-That’s just what they’d call me, because of my nervous stutter.” She said softly, Gauche quirked a brow for a moment.

“ Then, what is your real name?” He asked, he watched Grey crack a small smile before she turned to finally look him in the eye.

“ Candrilla, my name’s Candrilla.” She announced. Gauche smirked as he mulled the name over and over in his head. It was a very beautiful name, and it fit her perfectly, but…

“ I’m gonna stick with Grey,” he told her, and she blinked up at him in surprise. “ It just fits you better, it seems more you than Candrilla does.” He shrugged before leaning down and placing a small kiss on top of her head, causing her to blush profusely. He took her by the hand and they began walking again.

“ Now let’s get those gifts for the others.” Gauche wanted to see her smiling and happy again, like she was earlier, if that meant he had to buy all those idiots in the Black Bulls gifts, then that’s what he was going to do.

——-

I hope you all enjoyed this! I really liked writing it hehe, also, the step-sisters names are from the step-sisters in Cinderella. Anna = Anastasia. Rize = Drizella! But anyway I hope you all enjoyed and I hope you all have a good day 💗~!

Taglist: @eme-eleff

[threecupsfull]

Kaitlyn Weaver interview: “Stepping into the Light: Olympic Ice Dancer comes out”

Anastasia Bucsis for CBC Sports 6/11/21

A: I just want to be self-reflexive for our audience: Kaitlyn and I have been very good friends since 2014. We met in Sochi Olympic games, and I have been a part of this process, so Kaitlyn, thank you so much for joining me. How long have you been thinking about this day?

K: Oh shorter than you might think, to be honest, because i wasn't sure if I'd make it here...You know, accepting... identifying and accepting myself as a queer woman is...has been a long journey that I've known for a long time but was not ready to really step into my identity and, you know, over the last couple years especially after stepping away from sport, I decided to start taking baby steps, and so I just feel very proud that I made it to this day, and you know I feel like it's important for me now just to step up for myself and for my sport and honored to be here.

A: Why now?

K: I feel like there's a lot of different reasons why now is the right time.  I think 2020 taught us all a lot about ourselves and about the world, and you know when everything stopped I had nothing else to do but look in the mirror, and this is something that I've been running from for a very long time, and you know I think there was something in me and my knowing that said ok, you have no other choice but to start the work, and so that with a lot of the global events made me feel like, hey, I need to be myself, you know, I need to utilize all of who I am, to stand up for what's right too. Time is of the essence - we're losing- we're losing people. My stepmother passed. You know -It's life is short, life is too short to not be all of who you are. So I started the process seriously trying to take really consistent steps moving forward, and along with the help of some incredible people, I've been able to really... believe that, you know, I deserve to be here and that I- that I deserve to be all of who I am, and you know it's a process that is ongoing, but now is the time-  you know, life is too short.

A: Was there an exact moment that made the decision easier for you?

K: I don't know i think it's a series of a lot of little things, you know? Being away from competitive sport made a big difference, and seeing who else I was besides Kaitlyn Weaver of Weaver/Poje, Canadian ice dancer, and you know, I've so often defaulted to that identity that I didn't, I didn't want to look, and I didn't have time to look at any other part of who I was, and that was - and I was ok with it, you know, it made me a really fierce athlete, but then stepping away, it was like, ok, now, now I have some work to do, and I think that coupled with you know, going through the last year and... and just setting the intention I think in 2021 to say Kaitlyn, now's your time, you know, and then those little things step by step kind of brought me here.

A: First olympic female figure skater that's ever publicly come out. What do you feel when you hear that?

K: Oh, it's absolutely surreal. My mind just went like, wait a second, wait wait wait really? like it's surreal to think that it's me, and it makes me, it makes my heart heavy to feel like it's taken this long. I think that says a lot about our sport... that you know surely there were other women in the LGBTQ+ community that have passed through Olympic figure skating but didn't feel safe to be all of who they are, and so I was able to kind of understand hey, you know, what, Kaitlyn if this is you, it's gotta be you-  like come on-  like, let's step up for you and others, and it's - I think we've got a lot of work to do for our sport, and you know, here we are, let's do it, I'm here, I'm ready, let's start.

A: When did you first know or first start to think "I might be queer"?

K: I didn't know until a little bit later. I was probably 21 when I started to feel emotions that I didn't quite understand which also made it confusing because stories that I had read or you know, people that I've known later on in life kind of like tell a story about knowing early, and so that and a few other reasons of like you know, not having skaters and not having queer women in skating, you know, feeling like it was wrong. I - I was not ready to think that this was a valid part of myself, but like any queer person knows, you know it doesn't go away, and um, over the years and as I started to grow- grow up a little bit and understand like wait a second this is- this is real, and you know, this is not some part of me that I have to hate. That's when I started just to secretly say ok, is this who I am? you know and be ok with it.

A: In my journey. I mean I recognized it, but there was a long time before I accepted it. What did that journey look like for you?

K: That journey is still going on.

A: Yeah 

K: Yeah. It's been slow going for me, and I have to know that that's ok. Everyone's journey is different, but it's been a long road, and I still have a lot of work to do, but i feel like I'm at a place now where I can stand on my own two feet and take pride and confidence in my story and know that it's valid and real and that maybe, just maybe, there's someone else that has felt like how i felt growing up.

Yeah it's-  it's not easy you know, it's not easy, and I think that being in a sport too that is so hyper-feminine for women and puts a lot of pressure on women to play a role - that's my comfort zone, you know, and understand that I could be that and more you know. I didn't understand in our little world that I could- you know, be a pretty princess who also likes women, and that's something I think like stereotypes in our society that aren't right, and that's what I want to change too, you know. But it took kind of meeting new people, um opening myself up to a beautiful community, beautiful supportive LGBTQ+ community to say, hey, you can be that and more. You can be anything that you want to be. And being queer is something to be really proud of, so um yeah. Still on the road, but definitely proud to be here.

A: Thank you for being here. You said it, I mean, figure skating has certain pressures: you have to be hyper feminine, it's hyper-heteronormative how did you maneuver uh your queerness with your competitive skating career?

K: It was so deep. Anastasia, you know, so deep and so buried for a long time, and it was something that was my deep dark secret, and just even that phrase shows you how I felt about it, you know. It was- it was my most vulnerable piece of myself, and you know, we live our lives out loud in ice dance, you know, We have to be out for in the audience and be, you know- the most genuine performances usually are the ones that are the best, and so I had to really bury that very deep, and I just want to say though, that even being a queer person, relationships and sexuality, and, you know people are complex and layered and beautiful, and navigating that as well in as an ice dance couple was something that was very difficult for me because I love and always will love my partner Andrew so deeply, and so it was- it was hard to kind of accept both of these things as true, and so I did it, you know, I just kept my eyes on the prize and and just kept focused on on doing what's best for the team and what's best for our success, and in my mind, being queer did not belong in the formula. So I just didn't, you know, and that's a privilege that not many people have, you know. I feel like I tried to shut it off, but it doesn't really work like that. So you know, it took a long time to let it kind of come up and and become really a part of who I am.

A: How much pressure did you put on yourself to keep that hidden?

K: All of it - 

A: The waterworks are already going by the way, just so you know. 

K: Yeah um all of it. I - you know, when it, when it felt like just a mistake, it was something that i could like shame myself into knowing- you know that was a mistake, that's not who I am, but as time went on you know, and I started to accept that this is part of my identity, I really judged myself so much - over what type of clothes I wear, what if- whether I wear makeup or not, how I present, um, how I move, how I speak, how I- because I every every- you know in my brain it was like, is this gonna look gay, is this gonna look straight, is this gonna, is this gonna pass, is this gonna not pass, are people gonna be suspicious, what if I am too close to this person, what if I'm not close enough to this person? you know, and and that type of analyzing is really hard on somebody. Especially you know, a teenager, early 20s, like growing up, it was you know, it was tough. a lot of pressure. 

But my comfort zone was always nestled with my partner, Andrew, and doing what we love to do. So um that was always where I - where I found myself going back to and not really taking steps moving forward in my personal life.

A: We're gonna get to Andrew, but let's dive into ice dance. I mean it is so theatrical. There has to be a connection between ice dancers, ice partners. What about that environment made you feel like you had to hide parts of yourself? 

K: I never felt like I have, I never feel like I have to act when I'm on the ice with Andrew. We have a really beautiful natural connection, and that's one of our trademarks you know, um, and it's important to me to know that none of that was ever fake, you know. Which I I really want to stress that it's, you know, we don't need to think on the binary. It's not in or out, yes or no, it's layered and complex and beautiful, and people in our lives, you know, are layered and complex and beautiful, and so um you know my partnership with Andrew has never been, has never been anything but real and authentic. It was more the fact that I felt like that was the only way to be as Kaitlyn, you know. That that was the most valuable person that I could be. If I varied from that, um I wouldn't be as successful, you know, I wouldn't be as valued. We- ice dance, as beautiful as it is, is a judged sport. We're judged every single day of our lives, um and um I think it says something about figure skating that that people um on in any LGBTQ+ or any type of minority, invisible minority in particular, um don't feel safe to be who they are necessarily, because they're afraid of being judged, and um you know being queer is still illegal in some parts of the world, and so who’s to say that there's a judge on your panel that might not support that, and um you know, it's it's tough when your livelihood depends on that being accepted, and especially when you're successful at it, you know. I was good at playing that role, and so being anybody else besides her didn't feel worthy. 

A: What do you think could have been different with your figure skating career if being queer wasn't so taboo in figure skating?

K: I think that we would have a really beautiful variety of diverse people in our sport. Our sport- it's my belief that art is the underlying um, you know, it's the basis of figure skating. Yes, it's a sport, but it's an art, and what brings artists, you know, its expression, its freedom, its movement, its creativity, and I think if figure skating was more inclusive, we would see a lot of varied and beautiful and diverse art. I don't know how that's going to happen. I don't know especially in in couples, you know, how that's gonna happen. But i think just even accepting that we're here: that queer women exist is part of the process moving forward. You know when people think of figure skating they think it's gay, and what do you think of gay, you think of gay men. You know, women aren't even on the radar, and they're, they're, we're here, you know. And i think that just even having that idea of inclusivity is a way that we can start to really open this up because it's too beautiful of an experience of a sport to be so narrow. 

A: When you were in the closet competing how do you think that that affected your mental health?

K: Oh, it weighed a lot, you know. Anybody who's had to hide something whatever that is knows that it's an absolute stressor, and unfortunately for me it just was permanent, you know. But when i was performing, you know, I just - that was the thing that always took front seat you know, so I'm really really really really good at not paying attention to that other side of myself, you know. Not anymore, but then I was, and I think i've had to kind of pay the price for that when I came out of competition, to really go through what we, you know, what we have figure skaters have experienced. It's a lot, and it is beautiful, and it's a gift and it's a privilege to be an Olympic ice dancer representing Canada, and I will never go against that um, but it-  it's not for free, you know, and um anybody that comes out of sport knows it's, it's a big- it's a big shift, and it's a big thing that you really have to take your time in processing, and so that, on top of understanding who I am, and being able to accept all of who I am was an extra layer of stuff I had to deal with and go through and process and accept, and I'm still doing that work, but absolutely, you know, mental health needs to be number one, and I didn't really make that so much of a priority.

A: Do you think your mental health has shifted after accepting and moving forward coming out now?

K: Undoubtedly my mental health has improved. That's for sure, um but first there's the there was the denial that I didn't, you know, that I had an issue. I'm always the eternal optimist. A lot of people that know me, you know. I always find the bright side, and there's good and bad to that. You have to also see both sides of the coin, you know. Being able to take care of your mental health, have a community that supports you, work with a professional, you know. Good or bad, everybody should have someone that they can talk to and feel safe. That make, that, you know, makes such a huge difference, and sometimes for most and for me- just even taking that step to say, “ok, I'm gonna talk to someone about this,” that's the one of the biggest first steps, and so, you know, if you're thinking about it, if you're listening and you're in trouble and you're thinking about it, make the first step i promise you you won't regret it.

A: Preach- preach! Can we talk about Andrew?

K: Ugh always- 

A: Andrew Poje- uh best friend, partner in crime of course on the ice.How did he help you maneuver, you know, your struggles to find your identity?

K: Andrew- he's the pillar in my life, always has been, and I think coming out to him was the hardest... and he was just right there, strong and steady like always, and so his support through this means the world to me, and I know that in him I have a partner and best friend for life, and I love him so dearly, and so I just feel so grateful to have had him as a professional, you know, figure skater, but as a person, he... everybody should have an Andrew in their life, you know, and so just being able to accept me for who I am and move forward and still do what we love to do just means the world to me.

A: How has he helped you?

K: He just says- he allows me to see what he sees in me. He's -you know- he says - I remember when actually in the message that he wrote to me he said, "I want you to see the magic in you, you know, the beauty in you,” so he just reminds me that I deserve to be making these steps, but aaaah he's- he's just there, you know, just having some- just having a hand to hold, just like your go-to, your home base, that's him for me.

A: I reached out to Andrew, and I'm gonna read a little statement that he would like you to know:  “Thank you Kaitlyn for being brave enough to share this vulnerable moment with the grander audience. We have always leaned on one another throughout our partnership because each see each other at our core. I am proud of your strength and vulnerability to share your story as you become the best version of Kaitlyn Weaver. I will be here and support you however I can because you share an important message. As humans we need to lean more into who we truly are. I cannot wait to continue our journey as partners as you step into this new  chapter of your life. Our partnership has been filled with its ups and downs that have created many many proud moments, but the most proud and the most proud moment is right now. Thank you from me and on behalf of those that need the strength and inspiration.”

K: I just feel so lucky you know to have him that will see me and love me for who I am, and who i will always be. I think it's easy to put people in boxes, but people grow and evolve and change, and you know, to have someone that will stand by your side through all of that is a gift, and you know he's- he's that pillar. You can hear it in his words. 

A: What are you hoping that this does to change the conversation within figure skating?

K: I hope that, you know, it gives everybody a little hope that there's someone like them. That they're not alone. That, you know, it's okay to be different and usually the thing that makes us most different is our greatest gift. I think it's really important for figure skating to take a look around, especially its elite athletes and see who we're missing - visible and invisible minorities. You know, skating has has always been a pretty white, heterosexual elite sport, and I don't think that's the best route for any sport, and I think it's important for us to take a critical look at - at ourselves and say “why don't- why don't we have any queer women here, you know? Because we're here, and I just I want to start the conversation, and and you know, I want skating to be inclusive and diverse, and I want everybody to experience what we love so much about it, and skating deserves that, you know? 

A: Yeah

K: But most importantly I want people to not feel alone. 

A: I can promise that you're doing that with this announcement. When you think to the future, what inspires you, you know? What makes you think we can get there, especially in figure skating?

K: To know that I'm not the first, and I won't be the last, you know. That the conversations that we're having regarding race, regarding gender, regarding sexual orientation, you know, these are all the right ones to be having. I think that we just need to keep taking baby steps forward, and Canada in particular is a leader in that, and I think that we can continue being that for the rest of the figure skating world.

A: So what's next?

K: Oh Open Ice Two: Visionaries, premiering July 3rd

A: very smooth!

K: What's next for me, you know, I wanted to do this for my sport, but I needed to do this for myself, so I just, you know, I feel like what's next for me is to just sit back and kind of let it all soak in that I've made it this far, and you know, in my spare time, I'm working on the Open Ice Collective. It's my charity initiative to help skating become more inclusive, and we're doing that in a lot of different ways, and so I have a new project coming up in July which is very exciting, but it's really a special feeling to feel like i'm merging now all of who I am into one.

A: Kaitlyn, it means the world to me that you have trusted me with this, and that you connected, and I would like to just give you the microphone. Is there anything that I've missed or overlooked?

K: I think I would be remiss without saying that being here today and having this conversation with you is a privilege, and we're here doing this because of generations of LGBTQ, in particular, trans women of color that have fought for the right for us to even have this conversation safely, and if I could say one thing to those in my sport and out of it that are considering this, or feeling different, it's that don't come out until you feel safe emotionally and physically, and when you do, we're here, and we're fighting for you, and that there's always going to be someone waiting on the other side with open arms.

[imagines-r-s]

this is home (JJ Maybank x OC)

JJ Maybank x AJ Flynn (OC)

Summary: all the times AJ Flynn was JJ’s home and all the times he was hers

Warnings: violence, underage drinking, and marijuana use, domestic violence

also, my requests are open

I honestly really want to write more for my girl, Anastasia Julia Flynn.

--just to clarify, I am in no way trying to romanticize parental abuse and if it triggers you in any way, please don’t read --

JJ Maybank and AJ Flynn had a very interesting relationship. Both of them would make fun of the other until their last breath, but they’d also defend the other until their last breath. The two had so much in common, it was almost comical.  John B and JJ had met in the third grade, both of them meeting AJ a few years later. The three had been there for each other’s best and worst times. Pope and Kie joined the group, sometime during middle school. 

Big John had just gone missing and JB was the only one still holding on hope after a while. But everyone still supported him. 

Kie was the only other girl in the group, which helped a lot in terms of having to deal with all the testosterone in the air. So when she mentioned that she was leaving for her kook year, everyone --especially AJ-- was hurt. 

“What do you- what do you mean you’re leaving?” she was trying not to show the hurt on her face as she stood in front of the boys. 

“AJ, I’m just tired of being a pogue, sometimes people bail, get used to it,” AJ was seething at this point, taking her time to walk closer to Kiara. “AJ, don’t do something you’ll regret,” she heard John B say behind her. 

JJ was just waiting for AJ to explode, her history was just as violent as his, and he knew she’d act on impulses because he was trying hard not to. “So you mean to tell me after we were the ones here for you, that you’re just up and leaving. You’re not just leaving me, you’re leaving all of us. And your justification is ‘people bail, get used to it.”

“AJ-,” she tried to interrupt. 

“No, if you plan on leaving, don’t ever plan on showing your face here again, you backstabbing bit-” she was interrupted by a palm hitting my cheek. “Ok, that’s it.” 

“AJ, stop-”

“AJ, no.”

She heard the boys yelling behind her before she ran up to Kie and tackled her. “You want things to be like that? Ok.” Before she could throw the punch, she felt JJ pull her back and off of Kie. “JJ, let me go.” JJ looked at Kie, quickly telling her that if she’s leaving to leave now. JJ pulled her back into the chateau, almost struggling to keep a hold of her as she was flailing. 

He quickly took her into the spare room, that the two basically shared. He watched as she went to sit on the bed. “You need to calm down.” He couldn’t read the expression on her face like he usually could. She kept her eyes trained on the ground. “AJ, look at me. Look at me,” her eyes finally met his, and he could see the unshed tears,” you got to tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours,” he said poking her forehead, in an effort to make her smile. When he saw her roll her eyes, she knew there was a lot she needed to discuss. 

“How am I supposed to calm down, when she just up and left? Especially with the dumbass reason of people bail.” She ran her hands through her hair, an anxious habit she’d picked up over the years. “I just don’t get it.”

“Hey, I know it won’t help, but do you want to go on the water? How does that sound?”

“The boys can come, too, if they want.” 

The four of them spent the rest of the night on the HMS Pogue, trying to forget about the events that happened a few hours prior. The chaotic duo of JJ and AJ, sat next to each other smoking while the other two sat drinking on the other side of the boat. 

“So, AJ, you’ve never told us what AJ stands for,” John B asked, before taking a drink of his beer. “Yeah, I would like to keep it that way. Why don’t you ask your boy, JJ, what his name means?”

“Well, then it’s a question for both of you,” Pope interjected.

There were only a few people that knew your full name, not that she really kept it a secret, no one ever asked. “Anastasia Julia Flynn, AJ Flynn,” she took another hit of the blunt. JJ chuckled right next to her, to which she elbowed him in response. “I don’t want to hear shit from you, Mr. I was named after a criminal.”

“Wait, you guys know each other’s name and didn’t tell us,” Pope said. 

“Also, you’re named after a criminal?” John B said after.

“Jesse James Maybank, the one and only. But don’t ignore that AJ is named after a fucking princess.” 

“The names are really fitting, in all honesty,” Pope interjected to which the both of you simply shrugged. “You hear that princess, he likes your name,” JJ said with that stupid smirk on his face. “Shut up, criminal.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next few months went by fairly quickly. The parties, the work, everything else. The chaotic duo kept up with the chaos, as usual. Both of them stayed at the chateau, not just for JB but also for their own well being away from their parents. The two of them knew that when the bruises were showing up on each other, it wasn’t because they were clumsy, or they fell, or any other excuse they would muster up. The two were used to cleaning the others scrapes and bruises anytime they came back from home or just when they were in fights, both occurred often. 

The group of four were hanging out on the hammocks, JJ had fallen asleep, basically laying on top of AJ, his arms wrapped around her waist. “When are you two finally going to admit your feelings for each other?” John B was the one to break the silence. “You know it’s not that simple, both of us are way too unstable for that.”

“That boy is whipped for you, plain and simple. He’s just too scared to admit it and so are you.” Pope did have a point, but she’d never admit that he was right. “I mean, you’re not necessarily wrong, but I’m not going to say that you’re right.” The two boys simply hummed in response, he opened his mouth to respond, but before he could respond, her phone started ringing. 

“Hey….yeah...uh, no I just got caught up at John B’s…I know...mhm...I know...yeah, I’ll head home…yeah..bye,” she hung up and sighed. Knowing that 1.) she would have to leave and 2.) she would have to wake JJ up. “Well looks like I will have to get going, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

“JJ,” she gently pushed him,” I have to go home, you have to move.” She heard him grumble, “Princess, no stay here.” Luckily, the blush on her cheeks was hidden by the lack of light outside. “Come on, Jay, I have to go.” When he finally moved, she was able to make her way towards her car, so that she could rough back home. 

“You calling her princess now?” John B asked after seeing AJ drive away. “It was just a joke b-because of her name, you know. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Aww, is JJ Maybank flustered over a girl?” Pope teased. “No, no, of course not. Where’s she going anyways?”

“You didn’t hear her say she was going home.” JJ was wide awake as soon as he heard those words leave Pope’s mouth. “Shit, okay. I’m going to head inside, but don’t lock up tonight.”

The other two boys were left worried but simply shrugged. JJ went back into their shared room, anxiously waiting for her to come back to him. 

AJ pulled into her driveway, shortly after leaving the chateau. She opened the door to see her father sitting in the living room. “ Anastasia, I’m glad that you could actually come home for once.” She was making her way over to the stairs that would lead her upstairs, “hey dad, I’m sorry, I lost track of time while I was hanging out with the boys.”

“You mean whoring it up with them?”

“No, that’s not what happened, I promise. We just hung out as always.” Before she could register anything, he had already brought his hand across her face with so much force that she was knocked on the ground. “Don’t lie to me, bitch.” 

AJ easily disassociated away from the harsh words, losing count of how many times she was hit, and trying to think of better times. She finally noticed when he had walked back to his room to which she made her way to the kitchen to pick up her keys and take some pain medications. She took note that a few hours had passed, seeing the clock saying it was almost 2:30 am when she left the chateau the clock read 10 pm. She only stayed longer to make sure her dad had fallen asleep before leaving to head back to what she considered her home. 

She stumbled into the chateau holding onto her side, hoping that JJ would be in their shared room, only to see him sitting on the couch. “Omg, AJ,” he made his way over to her, “love, are you ok?” He noticed her lip quivering to which he enveloped her in his arms. “I’m sorry if I woke you up or anything, I just couldn’t-”

“AJ, you don’t have to apologize for any of this. Come on let’s get you cleaned up,” he led her quietly towards the bathroom. She sat on the counter while he grabbed the first aid kit. “He thinks I’m whoring it up with you guys. And when I told him I wasn’t he-he did this.” JJ looked at her empathetically, not with pity, but the look that he could easily relate to whatever was going on. He had finished cleaning her cuts as gently as he could, which prompted her to ask, “can I sleep in your hoodie, tonight?”

“Yeah, of course,” he walked over to get her favorite hoodies of hers, making her smile, “c’mon bub, let’s get some sleep.” She quickly got situated on their bed, laying on JJ’s chest. JJ listened as her breathing evened out and her quiet snores filled the room.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The boneyard was filled with bodies as teens drunkenly moved around the boneyard. The pogues were all sitting around the fire, mostly just watching other people and drinking on their own time. JJ felt the girl beside him stiffen, he followed where her eyes were, seeing the ex-pogue making her way over to the group of pogues, with her new group of friends. “Princess, don’t start anything,” JJ whispered into her ear. 

“Hey, pogues,” Rafe Cameron said, glancing at those around the fire. 

“Hey, stuck up, entitled assholes,” AJ shot back. 

“Ooh, wouldn’t want your dad to hear that you’re talking to his best friend’s son with that mouth of yours, Anastasia,” Rafe shot back. “Don’t call me that,” she said, quickly standing up. “Rafe, come on dude,” Kie interjected. “Don’t defend us now, bitch,” she shot back. “Woah, back at it again with that mouth. Once daddy dearest finds out you’ll be black and blue, again.”

That was all it took for JJ to lunge forward and punch Rafe square in the jaw, over and over again. “JJ, stop,” AJ tried to yell over all the noise. JJ didn’t stop until Pope and John B had pulled him off, even then he was still thrashing in hopes that they would let go. “Hey, hey, hey, look at me. JJ. Look at me,” AJ had put her hands on JJ’s face, to ground him. “We can go back to the chateau and smoke, but you need to calm down now. Okay, bub?” She didn’t move until he nodded and took her hand in his. 

“I’m sorry, he just shouldn’t have brought that up,” JJ interrupted the silence. “You’re right, but you can’t let him win by doing that. It shows that he has an effect on you.” JJ chuckled in response to what the girl said, “Ma’am, you should really take your own advice.” The girl beside him stayed silent.

Once they reached the chateau, she jumped up in the hammock first, waiting for JJ to find his usual spot of laying on top of AJ, and wrapping his arms around her waist. “I think I’m in love with you,” JJ said, in a whisper to where only she could hear. “What?” AJ quickly leaned up to look to see if he was being honest. “I said, I think I’m in love with you.”

She couldn’t even fathom the idea that he was in love with her. “JJ, I- I can’t. I need to go.” JJ didn’t fight her to stay, but he instantly regretted his choice of saying how he felt. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

AJ didn’t show up to the chateau for a few days, she had to take time to think about what her best friend had told her. She knew she reciprocated, but she was scared. She was scared that once she admitted it, things would fall apart. Or that she’d lose her favorite person. Or things would get much worse for her and she’d continue pushing him away. 

AJ hadn’t planned on returning back to the chateau until she got a call from John B, “What is it?”

“It’s JJ.”

AJ left her house at a record-breaking speed, speeding quickly to get to her boy. She had walked up to her house seeing John B and Pope on the porch. “Where is he and what happened?”

“After you left, he went back home, stealing all the alcohol from his dad, and he just now started drinking it all, he’s crossed right now, and won’t let anyone near him.”

AJ sighed, she blamed herself. She should have talked with him, before leaving, but now she had to help her broken boy. “Jay, it’s me.”

“What do you want?” she heard from the kitchen. 

“I missed you and I came to talk.”

“Oh, how rich, that you want to talk now,” the boy slurred. 

“Whatever, JJ. Just please hear me out.”

“I’m in love with you, too-”

“Then, why the fuck did you leave?”

“Because I was scared, ok?” she didn’t mean to yell, but her voice had raised,” I was scared.” JJ looked like he didn’t know how to respond. “Look, I was just scared because what if I lost you, what if you didn’t want to deal with me and all my family issues. What if, shit, I can’t lose you J.”

“Anastasia, stop.” JJ had sobered up as much as he could. 

“JJ, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I didn’t-” She was forced to look up when JJ’s hand tilted her chin to force her to look at him. She visibly gulped, which made him smirk. “Anastasia Julia Flynn, you need to stop rambling. It’s adorable, but slow down. I love you and I’m not leaving.” His lips met hers hungrily, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth when she gasped. The kiss was sloppy, but it was necessary after so long. 

When the two broke apart, their foreheads stayed together. “I love you, too, Jesse James Maybank.”

“I’m really tired, can we cuddle?”

“You’re such a softy, but yeah.” JJ pulled the girl into the spare room, making his way to his closet to grab her favorite cut-off shirt, “here you go, love.” For all the times, AJ felt lost, she was glad she had a home to come back to. 

Jesse James Maybank was her home.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

This is a personal opinion but from where I see it the Given movie and the anime itself definitely was... something that I would question because somethings just.. didn't make sense to me. The development of the Characters were either super fast or super slow and it made the pacing really really weird for me idk. But I do think that a huge reason so many people love the Given movie is because of the fact that when you compare Given to OTHER JP BL animes, there's very very slight improvement in terms of the story itself of Given. Is the story poorly executed? Fucking hell, who the hell is going to say no here. But is it better then some of the JP BLs out there? That's depended on how you view BL to be. For a lot of people things like Super Lovers or Hitorijime My Hero are super unbearable to watch because it's "problematic" (which honestly okay, you do you BB) which then leads them to look for BL animes that DON'T have such "themes." Leading them to actually liking things poorly executed but just "not problematic", Given for example.

Given is “not problematic”? Debatable.

Their first kiss was right after Mafuyu finally had a courage to sing a song about his ex who commited a suicide. ???

Problematic doesn’t only mean stuff like “he’s underage”. What about using someone to get over your grief or getting into a relationship with someone who is still not over his ex death and is vulnerable at the moment? Is this suddenly “not problematic” bc they’re same age and he haven’t pushed him into a wall in throws of passion?

To me it’s not even about the fact if it’s problematic or not (it’s rarely not tho, no matter what ppl think), it’s about whether its believable and feels genuine or not. It depends on many factors: situation, characters past, traumas, etc, etc. It depends on the story and how you write it.

Change some stuff and it’s gonna be a completely different thing. Make it like Uenoyama only hugged Mafuyu after the song, even tho he wanted to kiss him, but knows that it’s not the right moment. Make Mafuyu heal first, make Uenoyama be in his own angst that he loves Mafuyu so much for example, but cares about him recover more, so he doesn’t expect for it to go somewhere, then he tries to date someone and Mafuyu first starts getting out there, when he feels like he can start trying again. Someday he gets sick and Uenoyama cancels his date to take care of him even tho it’s nothing serious and then the realization comes. Make Mafuyu kiss him first and take the first step. This would’ve changed everything so much. He should’ve made the first step when he was ready, this would’ve felt so right. Uenoyama kissing him after that song is just.. it feels, I was like ehhhmmm.. weird?

Seeing someone saying that Given is a masterpiece is hilarious to me. The fact that it includes heavy themes like suicide, doesn’t make it a masterpiece, esp when it’s handled this badly. Once again, if you pick such thing as a base for a love story, do it right then, not in a “bibbidi bobbidi boo” kind of thing. 

BL or not BL, any relationships, it depends on whether you watch it and it feels plausable or not. 

For example, if Yuu says that he can’t live with Mika, my tongue won’t even twist to call it “unhealthy” or be like “dude why”. But if some high schooler in slice of life anime who has a caring family tried to end himself bc his two weeks friend left him, I would’ve yelled “bitch go see a doctor”. 

Depending on the story you can sell some feelings or not.

Nezumi and Shion are also problematic according to ppl’s logic these days. But I 100% believe they’re each other’s true loves. Only 11 episodes and it’s sold.

In Given I didn’t believe it. Bc it’s ridiculous, ok? It wasn’t the right place or time to start this relationship. It is not a new love story, it’s just a sad story. 

Given movie is slightly better compared to other japanese BL? Why would you offend Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Uragiri wa boku no namae, No.6 and many others?

Also better where? They kept the same old “’stop, i don’t want to’, but he did it anyway” stuff AND on top of that the story sucks.

The way he used him knowing very well that he was unrequitedly in love with him for so long is so disgusting that it leaves a much grosser feeling than many yaois combined. You’re saying “it’s slightly better” bc they’re of age or don’t have an age difference? I don’t get it. It somehow makes everything better?

No, thanks. I’d rather watch Onodera sleep with Takano in high school with them being genuinely into each other and it going great than whatever happened in the Given movie. I don’t care if they’re both 18 there, it made me feel bad.

I didn’t feel bad, when Wei Wuxian thought “why the fuck didn't I have sex with Lan Zhan back when I was 15? I've really pissed away all my days, haven't I?”. I wonder why is that.

Like what you’re saying here is that their opinion on BL is so low that they automatically would give it 10 out of 10 bc it’s slightly better than smth that they find “unbearable” to watch? What kind of evaluation is that exactly? Maybe also let’s compare each anime to “boku no pico”, then everything will look like a masterpiece.

Like excuse me for the fact that when I watch some shonen-ai and yaoi, I judge it the same way I judge any other genre and any other relationships (hetero or gay) in animes. On a scale whether I care or don’t care, whether I believe that they love each other or don’t, whether it’s a good story or not. I don’t get what it means “it’s good for yaoi”. It’s just not good. This movie is trash, I mean, the relationship in it is trash. Who the fuck cares gay or not gay. Trash relationships are trash. Bad story is a bad story. Whether it’s a bad gay story or a bad hetero story, I don’t give a shit.

The reason I’m more into boy on boy ships is because I love the relationships there more than relationships in most heterosexual couples. My fav hetero ships are either “from hate/attraction to love” stories like “gone with the wind”, “anastasia” or “pride and prejudice” or stuff like “equals without pink goo, who only see each other and don’t need no one else and would die for each other, epic soulmates” like Richard and Kahlan. In anime 99% of those fit bromances, not romances. Like I don’t find Midoriya/Uraraka appealing at all for a reason that “she said ‘hi’, he blushed as a tomato, now they’re supposed to be each other’s romantic interests” is not what I find romantic. I find romantic the fact that Todoroki is forever devoted to Midoriya bc he knows he’s amazing and is not afraid to say it; and he’ll always be there for him when he needs him, no matter what it is, him just sitting there crying, some villain trying to kill him or if he’s too late out ther grossery shopping. Uraraka most of the times doesn’t even care where he is.

Most hetero romantic animes, I just find ridiculous, too cheesy and unrealistic and I’m not ready to watch 50 episodes for them to hold hands. I’m not in that age and I also never found things like this romantic before either. Stuff like Kisa/Yukine, when you meet someone, find him attractive, wanna fuck him, then fall in love accidentally.. yeah, that’s understandable to me. Stuff like Takano/Onodera “I was an naive idiot in high school, but now life made me a sassy bitch and I can’t open up to people as easily” also yes, relatable. 

When you’re turning into a tomato bc someone said “penis” and think holding hands will take your virginity or smth, that’s not my thing.

So when I watch BL, I expect more, not less. So if it’s bad, I just say it’s bad, I’m not gonna be like “hmm... unproblematic... then 10/10″ like what? 

1stly, even “little mermaid” and “cinderella” are problematic. 

2ndly everyone is so focused on purity these days, like storyline don’t matter at all. It’s like any great love story is automatically trash if they have age difference. Any trash love story is great, if they don’t?

Let’s then also rate “Dororo” as 1, bc it’s like 24 episodes of them falling for each other while she’s 11 and he’s 16. Wow, such gross relationships they have during the whole story. Doesn’t matter that she grew up at the end of the last episode, the whole anime she’s a child. And let’s rate Noragami 0, bc 2000 years old perverted Yato is into 15 year olds.

No one has to fuck asap (heck even in the same hella problematic “Super Lovers” you talk about, Haru refused to fuck Ren even tho he was 17 in s2 and wanted to fuck another guy) and the rule “you can only fall in love after 18″ doesn’t exist. Also underage is not BL thing, it’s all anime thing. It’s time to shut it already. There are zillions of age gap couples out there who are great. Hyakkimaru waited for Dororo to grow up, it’s fine, seriously, they love each other in the right way, he didn’t want to fuck her when she was 11, okay? They did love each other tho already then. Pls excuse them for that.

3rdly, some relationship that ppl here call unproblematic are 20 times more problematic, than what they call problematic.

4tly, why the heck it’s like couples who have an amazing character and relationship progression, who love each other to death and will do anything for each other, ppl go: “wow, at the very beginning, he grabbed his wrist, he needs to go to jail”. Meanwhile a relationship who has no base, no story, no logical progression, no anything are “yes, best love story in the world”. Yeah... who cares if it feels like it’s all been pulled out of an ass and doesn’t make sense, very healthy tho.

It sounds lately like if most ppl here had two stories in front of them and one would be about two men who just met and the next day one proposed and they lived happily ever after and 2nd would be some complicated incredible story with a natural progression of the relationship, but they yelled at each other once, they’d be like “1st is better”. Well, not to me, no.

[g-46-stark]

Find Me In Paris: Things I’m still wondering...

So, I really love Find me in Paris, is really funny and original.

I appreciate the way they handle all the time travel stuff... I’ve watched it like a hundred of times, but I’m still wondering:

1-Why no one ever told Lena about the Russian Revolutions of 1905 and 1917?

Really, not even Ines, who’s like the ballerina version of Hermione Granger.

For the ones who don’t know what I’m talking about, or just wants a reminder, I’m going to make a short resume:

From 1904 to 1905 Russia and Japan were fighting a war; Russia lose it, so people weren’t very happy (they also realize some social classes needed some changes);

The Russian army repressed a manifestation in St. Petersburg (some people want to present a petition to zar Nikolai II);

It started a revolution that lasted two years (1905-1907). After it, the zar was forced to create the Duma (a sort of Parliament). Some historicals think that this was the first step of the 1917 Russian Revolution;

During WWI, the social situation in Russia wasn’t all this good, especially for the factory worker. They all unite under the ideals of Lenin, and it started the October Revolution, which led to the abdication of zar Nikolai II;

Due to some political issue (it started a civil war between the new communist government and people that still wanted the zar) Nikolai Romanov and his family (his wife Alexandra, his four daughter Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia, and his son Alexei) were took in Siberia and then killed.

So, Lena is a Russian princess: some people think is Nikolai daughter, but since it’s not specificated, let’s say she’s his niece. 

She obviously doesn’t know about Russian nobility fate; so, she still thinks that in Russia there would be a zar, who would be one of Nikolai’s descendants.

She says on more than one occasion that she is a princess, who lives in a palace in Russia.

But the thing is this: I don’t think the old Russian nobility still lives in Russia and has all their old proprieties such as palaces.

So no one (not even the teachers) find strange that Lena goes around saying she’s a princess?

This leads me to the next point: why doesn’t Ines tell Lena about Russia 20th century history?

She knows Lena is from 1905, so she knows why she doesn’t know about it.

If I know that one of my dearest friends is a time traveler from 1900’s Russia (and part of the nobility), one of the first thing I would say to them it would be: “If you ever go back in your century, stay away from Russia! Move to the US and don’t go anywhere else!”.

I understand Ines wouldn’t say that for all the “don’t change the past because you don’t know how it could affect the future” thing, but seriously… Lena always said she wanted to go back! You don’t want to even warn her?

And later, in season 2, Lena said to Max all the truth; and she also said she wanted to go back so she could save Ines.

All Max has to say on it was: “Oh, ok. I’m really sad that you’re leaving, but that’s ok. Let’s create the most transgressive choreography that Paris Opera has ever seen.”.

And I was like… Ehm…hello?? The girl you claim to love just said she wanted to go back at the beginning of a disastrous century!! She’s leading herself into two revolutions and probably her death, but ok, let’s dance through it.

No one there knows anything about 1900’s Russian history?

And besides that, what about the history lessons or the history teacher?

What do they teach students in that school?

Oh, right...

2- Max's family: What happened between Max and Ruben     (Reuben?)? What happened between Armando and his wife? And, more importantly, where is she?

I know that since Lena is the main character, we should be worried about her background story, but really… you can’t throw us some hints about Max's dysfunctional family and then just walk away.

I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I’m still confused about something.

If I get it right (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong):

Ruben is not Armando biological son: he was adopted in Spain;

He was a street boy, who was an extraordinarily talented dancer;

He and Max were inseparable;

At some point, their mum took them to London, where she wanted them to attend a boarding school (Arrow? Harrow?);

Max was accepted, but Ruben wasn’t;

So, Armando took the boy with him to New York (where he presumably worked for the Imperial Ballet) since their mum “can’t take care of him”;

Then something bad happened between the two brothers;

The result was that Max was expelled from his school and his relationship with Ruben was ruined;

Max said that Ruben came to visit him at school and started “acting like himself”: he made something bad, but we don’t know what;

After “breaking his mother’s heart” for being expelled (words from Armando), Max won a sort of scholarship for a European ballet school and chose to go to Paris;

Then, it happens all Lena’s stuff;

At a certain point Ruben comes back in Max life, “stealing” is brother baroque choreography and going at his school (and dancing with his chica);

In a dialogue, we discover that he and Max made a promise, but one of them broke it;

I think it was about not “entering in the other's territory”? Like, Ruben couldn’t go to Max boarding school and Max couldn’t go to a ballet school/found a hip-hop crew? 

I don’t know if I missed something or I just misunderstood things, if you can explain it to me, I’ll be happy to listen. 

Anyway, I have some main question about Max family: 

WHERE IS HIS MUM??

I mean, I assumed she lives in London, her son lives in Paris, it’s like an hour's flight… why she never shows up? 

Not even for his shows at Garnier? Not even when her son injured himself so bad that he ends up in the hospital and had surgery?

Is she dead? Is she ill? Like does she have cancer or something so bad that she couldn’t take a plane to go to visit her hurt son? In that case, I’m sorry for my cruel judgment.

But otherwise…I know that the others character parents never go to visit their children (the only exception were Dash and Thea’s mums), but I think that every parent would have shown up in case their child end up in a hospital.

Is she totally unaffectionate?

Because the quote from Armando: “I took Ruben to NY because he wasn’t admitted at Harrow and your mother couldn’t take care of him” sound pretty bad.

What happened between Max's parents?

I know that married couple living in different city/country due to work isn’t uncommon, so it wouldn’t have bothered me if some word in Max and Armando’s dialogue in season 1 hadn’t been said:

Armando said that his wife decided to take the boys back to London, and it sounded to me like he didn’t totally agree with that decision.

Max said something like “don’t speak about mum” as it hurts listening to his dad talking about his mum.

So, maybe I’m seeing drama everywhere, but it seems to me that something happened with Max's mum and/or between the parents.

My interpretation of that, after seeing that scene, is that Armando and his wife were divorcing, so Mum took her sons and moved to London (without Dad's consent, maybe, it’s sadly common in some difficult divorces). Both the boys were obviously traumatized by that, so Ruben started acting badly (so he wasn’t admitted at school) making his mum desperate and unwilling to take care of him? And maybe Max was angry with his father for leaving mum and them (and after, for taking Ruben to NY and leaving him in a boarding school)? 

Why are Ruben and Max hating each other?

Okay, they’re brothers, but we’re going a little too far, don’t we?

Maybe Max’s a little jealous of Ruben's talent and (again) because he was taken to New York with their father while he was in a British all-male boarding school and blah, blah, blah… okay, we get it.

But Ruben?

Maybe he is jealous because he’s not Armando's biological son? Because he thinks Armando would always choose his “real” son instead of him?

It could be, but I’m totally plotting things on this point

We know that probably Ruben was the reason for Max's expulsion from his old school, and I presume that their parents thought it was Max’s fault, but I don’t think that’s all the story.

I mean, I personally want to know more about this.

In conclusion, dear producers: you can’t just toss at us two brothers that literally want to punch one another without a real explanation and expecting us to just walk away with that.

So…tell me what you think. 

Sorry for the long post, and thanks for reading it! 

[tanoraqui]

@rattyjol said I should write down all my theories from where I am, at the end of Act I of Harrow the Ninth, so here we go: Musings on the Nature of God, his Lyctors, and specifically Harrowhark Nonagesimus. (Needless to say, SPOILERS!)

first off, I want it noted that, while I do not believe it bears any relation to his role in the Homestuck AU that I highkey theorize was an early stage in the creation of this fictional world, I absolutely hate that his name is John. Stop that instantly.

on the continued nature of God...I detect a certain amount of passive voice re: the rapid death of the planets. You sure used the word “murder” in your analogy there, bud. Why are they hunting, uh, you in particular, huh? Listen man, I”m very sympathetic to mad science gone wrong, just admit that you killed every planet in the solar system - I don’t know yet if accidentally or for personal gain - and...I’m willing to bet that he’s chained one of them, maybe consensually? as his own lyctorean battery. That’s why he’s so OP, and why the other beasts hunt lyctors as well as him. 

or admittedly they may just look really tasty. Shining soular flares in the darkness

I highkey wonder if the Resurrection Beasts would be satisfied if he and the Lyctors just let them kill them. Probably not.

In the time between first waking up on the Erebos (GtN epilogue) and the start (post-prologue) of this book, Harrow has Done Something to make herself forget Gideon in every way but the very subconscious (she mouthed the name while thinking herself dying, she saw a red-haired body in the River and it broke her.) Well, she knows Gideon existed at some point, or some red-headed other girl did, but believes her dead as a child. Ianthe helped with this, the Emperor doesn’t know about it, and I assume it’s in pursuit of getting Gideon back alive and well

I can’t tell if she’s having a visceral reaction to the sword just from emotional memory or if whatever she did actually involves the sword. Given that we’ve been reminded that ghosts can be called back using objects they handled in life, probably the latter

the memory-rewritten flashbacks are fascinating. I wonder if something like some of them did happen - did she have a conversation with Ortus about the letter, before addressing the matter with Gideon? Did she ever meet Abigail and Magnus in a library and shove breadsticks into her bag and leave when Abigail asked about the imprints of 150+ other souls on hers? It could definitely have happened, while Gideon was off doing other things...but Harrow’s memory has been rewritten more thoroughly than to just leave out Gideon, because she also doesn’t remember meeting Camilla, and we know she interacted with the Sixths without Gideon. I assume this, too, was deliberate on Harrow’s part, but it’s hard to tell. She certainly is gambling here, desperately

it’s delightful to see more of Abigail and Magnus, specifically in a way that makes it clear why Cytherea killed them first. Abigail was very, very dangerous, with that plan to summon a Lyctor’s ghost and ask them questions.

Given the timing of the memory loss, even Harrow-who-had-a-plan didn’t know what happened to Camilla, Corona, and Judith, and clearly neither does Ianthe. I comfortably assume that the ever-competent Camilla and Palamedes have it in hand (a strong implication from a friend + my own faith in the Sixth having contingency plans assures me that Palamedes is...if not fine, then alive)

I judge it more likely that the Body is a hallucination/false memory, but the fact that she told Harrow to lie about her age suggests that maybe she is...the ghost of the woman in the tomb. I used to think that must be the Emperor’s own cavalier, but given that the Lyctors apparently came about after he was already God, and my theory that he’s more likely to be drawing energy from a planet...I don’t know. I’d guess that perhaps she’s Anastasia, the ninth house adept who never became a Lyctor, except the next book is called Alecto the Ninth, and that’s GOTTA be her

there’s no one in the Dramatis Personae named Alecto. I don’t know where she’s from. M a y b e she is/was a planet?

I thought the Body was Gideon at first, but she has dark hair and a slight build. She has gotten Gideon’s eyes, though, as though from Lyctor transformation...probably because Harrow did whatever she did?

Or it’s all just a hallucination and Harrow is blending the women she loves

A series of conjectures I’m pretty confident in:

Mercymorn asked about Harrow’s age on the suspicion that she’s, well, Gideon Nav

that is, the child who fell into the Ninth 18 years ago in the arms of a dead woman

I think that woman was a Lyctor - not sure which - and she wanted to be a mother? I guess? Because eternal life is a bitch and maybe you want to bring more life into the world, idk. But the Emperor sabotaged her attempts at artificial insemination and when she did it herself, he sent...another Lyctor after her. Maybe it was Ortus Gideon, once of Second House (it was him and his cavalier in that room, G&P), and they had a passionate - or at least pitying but productive - night and then her ghost said his name bc she wanted him to know that yep, they’d had a daughter?

Or she and (adult) Gideon had a romance and yes artificial insemination (it’s probably hard to get pregnant when you’re immersed in thanergy all the time) and...man, idk

I’m very sure that she poured a hysterical amount of thalergy, thanergy, idk into that baby, such that Gideon Nav was impossibly difficult to kill save by her own hand

...ok I think that’s all I’ve got, for now

OH, that line about a lyctor’s body lying empty being dangerous...that felt very foreshadowing. I don’t THINK Harrow is going to at the end of this book, bc we’ve already done that once, but I wouldn’t be surprised if her plan is to bring Gideon back in her (Harrow’s) body in place of Harrow’s own soul if necessary. Alternately, Alecto might end up in it? Or some other lyctor’s body will be lost...almost certainly, actually. I dunno whose or to whom (or to what), but I bet it’ll happen.

[bewareofchris]

LET’S TALK ABOUT BOBO DEL REY

Now friends, as you have UNDOUBTEDLY noticed, I have been on a fucking journey with this show.  But no character has put me through as much hardship and heartache as the one and only fantastic bastard himself, Bobo Del Rey.

Look at this man:

THAT IS THE FACE OF AN ASSHOLE.  I’m just saying I started this journey very, very simply.  While I have had heard that some people love this little drama bean as soon as soon as they slap eyes on that beautiful roadkill coat, I was not among them.

In fact, when I was first forced to endure the Drama Fire Circle:

I basically almost died.  Do you see this?  This is the most well-thought out but Over the Top display of... I don’t even know how to explain it?  Who is he showing off for?  Does this happen a lot?  (The drama fire circle happens twice in the first season alone so I feel like it’s a A Thing and he has specially selected revenant friends to hold those torches for him.  Maybe there’s auditions?  Maybe not but I feel like there is.)  I want to say it’s a display of masculinity.  He just rips off his coat like GRANDMA IT’S ME ANASTASIA and everyone just gasps quietly to themselves like: my god he’s been to the gym.

But, maybe he’s got an exhibitionist kink?

Maybe he’s just peacocking for Doc.  (LOOK AT THIS FIGURE, DOC HOLLIDAY, LOOK AT IT.  I AM A POWERFUL MAN.)

Point is, at this point I am Not In Love because Bobo is ever so slightly ridiculous.  I don’t dislike him.  I’m just over here eating my popcorn being like: ok, ok, what’s he going to do next?  

But the problem with keeping Bobo in any one singular category is that he doesn’t fit there.  

Is he a little bit ridiculous?  Yes he is.  But why is he a little bit ridiculous?  Because he’s maintaining control over a bunch of demon-adjacent outlaws masquerading as people in a small town mostly comprised of reminders that Wyatt Earp did a thing there once.  Can you imagine how awful it would be to be trapped in a tourist sinkhole filled up with the reminders of the dude that shot you?  I would also lose my mind.

Bobo’s over the topness serves a purpose and even if it didn’t?  Dude’s been to hell and now he’s a feral cat herder so, do your ringleader shit, bud.  We’re here for you.

WHAT GOT ME THOUGH, was when Constance “Bad Touch Witch” Clootie kissed him in that shed (barn? building made of wood) and he just rolled his eyes.  In fact, Bobo seems very ambivalent in general toward women and sex.  Dick-eating vampires also aren’t his type?  He shows up to be like: Oh hi Willa remember me? But then he’s also kind of fed up with her a little too.  (I mean I was fed up with Willa on sight.)

Bobo wants out.  Out of the town.  Out of the curse.  Out of the circumstances and he’s been sitting around for 130(ish) years taking whatever blame, sludging through whatever bullshit waiting for his chance.  Which even if you knew nothing at all about him, makes COMPLETE SENSE.

But then there was season 2.

Then there was Plaid Baby Robert Svane and the Single Greatest Act of Unfairness ever presented to me in fiction.

Look at that man in plaid.  He’s practically a newborn kitten.

What you find out about Robert Svane, the man destined to become Drama Peacock Bobo Del Rey is:

He was nobody’s first choice.  It’s never outright said in canon but the fact that we see Wyatt “Tiny Limp Dick” Earp all but begging his actually dying friend to go with him to Purgatory suggests that a dying Doc Holliday > a perfectly healthy Robert Svane.

He genuinely was there to do the right thing.  Out of all of the people involved in this Demon Killing Excursion, Robert appears to be the only one that has absolutely no outside motivation at all.  He’s not some kind of random angel that didn’t want to get in trouble with his boss.  He’s not a demon wife who wants vengeance for the death of her babies.  He’s not whatever we’d qualify Savior Complex Wyatt Earp as.  He’s just a dude, that knows a bad thing is happening, and is there helping out because you do.

HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF.  I cannot stress enough how traumatized I am by the fact that Robert Svane, who is only there to do the right thing, for real told a man to shoot THROUGH him to kill a demon?  He was right there, ready to die, because it was the RIGHT THING TO DO.  

He was betrayed and abandoned.  Look.  Look.  I’m emotional about this.  Robert got shot through the chest, but he was still right there in the mix of shit, doing his part to seal up a demon that was dead but not really, really dead?  And his pal Wyatt who was supposed to be there to finish this off himself, must have left town the very moment he shot Robert and Clootie because he’s had enough time to write a ‘sorry you’re fucked I’m looking for my real friend lol’ letter to let Robert know he could just hurry up and die because NOBODY CARED ABOUT HIM.  But it isn’t even just about Wyatt?  Constance was there just grinding salt into that fresh wound, reminding Robert that he was going to hell and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.  And why was he going to hell?  Because he was a bad guy?  Because he’d made the wrong choice?  No, because he trusted an angel, a demon wife and Tiny Limp Dick Wyatt to hold up their side of this bargain.  And not one of those three did a damn thing to help him.  NOT ONE.

Robert Svane did not deserve to go to hell.  He didn’t deserve to be brought back when Wyatt died.  He didn’t deserve to be hunted by the Earp heirs.

But he’s out here, CONSTANTLY being bad-mouthed and threatened and belittled by the “Good guys” who have no idea that this Over the Top Drama Peacock is the PRIMARY reason they’re all alive to start with?  That if they’d just slow the fuck down and ask, Bobo knows everything?

There’s not one single plotline in all of Wynonna Earp (the show) that Bobo doesn’t know the answer to.  What is the curse?  Bobo knows.  Why did it happen?  Bobo knows.  Who is the demon?  Bobo knows.  What are the seals?  Bobo knows.  Who are the wives?  Bobo knows.  How do you trap them?  Bobo knows.  How do you kill Bulshar?  Bobo might know but he definitely knows who knows.  Who is Waverly’s dad?  Bobo knows.  What is Peacemaker?  Bobo knows.  Why was Doc put in the well?  Bobo knows.

The point is, I love this stupid, stupid man and I just want him to be able to rest.  I want him to see the ocean.  I want him to do anything he wants to do.  And I will never, ever, ever be over the injustice that was done to him.  How dare you torture this man for three seasons and then give us that finale?

HOW DARE.

(send me your thoughts.)

[365days365movies]

February 9, 2021: Doctor Zhivago (Part 3)

INTERMISSION’S OVER! Hope you got your snacks and popcorn, because we’ve got an hour and 20 to go!

Recap (Part 3/3)

Train’s stopped, but not at its intended location. The reason is because there’s a battle taking place up ahead in Yuriatin, where the train is headed through. See, the Bolsheviks - well, actually, the Communists now, to be accurate - are waging battle against the anti-Communist White Army, and have occupied Yuriatin.

Yuri leaves the train to find out what the deal is, and he’s captured by the Communists under suspicion of being a spy. Leading them, of course, is Pasha, now going by Strelnikov. After a brief round of suspicion, Pasha admits a former admiration of Yuri’s poetry, now viewed as anti-Communist. Yuri reveals his connection to Pasha’s wife, and Pasha reveals that he has not seen her during the war, and she’s living in...Yuriatin.

JESUS PASHA WHAT THE HELL

Well, after having this friendly discussion with a GODDAMN MONSTER, Pasha lets him go back to his family, luckily for him. He gets back to the train JUST in time, and the family are left at their intended destination, as planned. It almost seems that their struggles are over, as flowers are blooming amidst the previously ubiquitous winter.

Can’t say the same for Yuriatin, as we see it on fire in the distance. However, the Gromeko’s cottage is apparently totally fine, untouched by the Red and the White Armies.

Well, mostly untouched, as it’s been sealed up by the Red Army. Stopping Alexander from breaking in, Yuri and their local friend, Petya (Jack MacGowran) figure out that the cottage of the house is still open, and the family happily settles in there.

During their time there, Tonya becomes pregnant once again. Strelnikov leaves for Manchuria, which seems like good news. But that’s tempered with the very, VERY bad. Czar Nicholas and the Romanovs, exiled for years, have been shot. Sorry, Anastasia.

Spring to summer, summer to winter, and winter once again to spring, and the family is doing well, in relative poverty as they are. By the way, before I forget to mention this, why does Omar Sharif (he plays Yuri) ALWAYS look like he’s been crying? Dude has perpetually red puffy eyes, I swear. Like, look at the GIF below. See? He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t even sad there, but his eyes ALWAYS LOOK THAT WAY. Not his fault, but I just can’t not notice it.

But now, we go to another place, and another set of eyes. Yuri makes his way to Yuriatin on a visit, and there, a reunion takes place at the library in town.

Yuri and Lara catch up, have a good time, and then OH GODDAMN IT

EVERY TIME! WHY IS IT INFIDELITY IN EVERY ONE OF THESE GODDAMN MOVIES??? Yuri’s seemingly happy, he’s got another kid on the way, and I get that he’s loved Lara for a long time at this point, but can we just have a SINGLE. FAITHFUL. RELATIONSHIP in these movies, for the love of CHRIST!!!

And this is just as Tonya’s close to giving birth to their second child. Yuri seems to realize this, and he heads to Yuriatin to officially end it with Lara...and he does, to some credit. It hurts them both pretty grievously, but he does what’s right. But NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED I GUESS

Red Partisan Army just kidnapped him! BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DID. His poetry has finally caught up to him, and he is taken away from his “private life.” After all, like Pasha said, private life is dead in Russia. Fuck me, man.

So, Yuri’s been kidnapped as a field doctor for the Civil War, as the Red Partisans go up against the White Army, at one point killing a unit of literal children. During his stay, allies advocate for his release, but to no avail. Yuri is stuck with the army for TWO GODDAMN YEARS, away from his wife and two children.

He eventually just leaves, in the middle of the winter during a trek. He just...wanders off. Frozen, tired, and probably badly frostbitten, he makes his way back to Yuriatin, where he discovers that his family has left. However, it would appear that Lara may still be in town. Finding a key and letter meant for him, he makes his way into the apartment, where he passes out.

Lara cares for him as he wakes up, and reveals that Tonya and the kids are safe. Later, she gives him a sealed letter from Tonya, which was sent six months prior. It’s revealed that he was a daughter, Anna, and that they have been deported from Russia, and are going to Paris. They don’t know where they’ll be headed, and there’s no telling if Yuri will ever see them again. Which...sucks.

But then, soon after, the two get an unexpected visitor: Victor Fuckin’ Komarovsky! Yeah, thought you’d seen the last of him! he comes from Moscow, and offers the pair his help. See, Tonya and the kids are not in the best of situations down in France, and Yuri’s not only a deserter, but seen as a dangerous man by the government for his poetry, which has officially been labeled anti-Communist propaganda. Fuckin’ YIKES.

The two refuse their help at first, but Lara realizes the real danger that Yuri’s in. Turns out that Victor knows so much because he’s been appointed the Minister of Justice, and offers the two an out from the country. They continue to refuse him, and it’s revealed that Lara’s ALSO in trouble, as her husband is still technically Strelnikov. But, after Victor is ONCE AGAIN a DICK, they kick him out.

Realiing that they’re in trouble, the two escape to Varykino, which is gorgeous, by the way. Although the whole place appears to be dusty and a bit snowed in, the two and Lara’s daughter, Katya (Lucy Westmore) settle in. There, Yuri does something we’ve never actually seen him do: write poetry. To be specific, he writes a set of poems that he is famous for, by the time we get to the time period from the beginning of the film, all of which are themed around Lara.

It’s also at this point that the two begin their love affair in earnest, and...I weirdly am OK with this. Look, they’ve loved each other for a long time, and the likelihood that either of them will see their spouses again is EXTREMELY low. The two embrace their love, and begin to imagine what life would’ve been like if they’d met each other before.

But Victor, surprisingly, returns. He makes them an offer once again, and it’s revealed that Strelnikov is dead. Turns out that he was sought by the government, as they wished Strelnikov dead all along. He was headed to Lara when he was caught, and comitted suicide while in custody, returning to his true identity of Pasha at the end. Fuckin’ WHOOF.

But there’s the problem: with Lara’s usefulness as a lure gone, she’s now set to be executed, along with Katya. Given this information, Yuri agrees to go with Victor, and Lara and Katya come along. But guess what! THERE ISN’T ENOUGH ROOM ON THE CARRIAGE OUT OF THERE. BECAUSE OF COURSE THERE ISN’T.

And in case you weren’t sure, Zhivago is indeed left behind, as he actually never intended to go with Victor, due to his dislike for the man. But Lara’s now safe, which is what he wanted all along. Not to mention the fact that Lara is now pregnant with Yuri’s daughter. Which is when we cut back to the present day.

Tanya, from the very beginning, is almost certainly Lara and Yuri’s daughter. Born the same year, in the China or Mongolia (where Lara was headed with Katya and Victor), and with similar eyes and complexion, it’s a near certainty. She denies it, but Yevgraf continues. See, he eventually did find Yuri, malnourished, and cared for him.

Stalin’s now in charge, and Yuri is practicing Dr. Zhivago once more. Years later, he boards a trolley in the city, suffering from a heart disease at this point. On the trolley, he sees Lara walking on the street, and tries to get off to see her. But, once he finally gets off the trolley, the strain is too much for him.

At Yuri’s funeral, Lara and Yuri meet. There, she asks for Yevgraf’s help to find her child, but they never do. And after that, at some point...she’s taken to one of Stalin’s labor camps, where she most certainly died. Jesus, man.

And now, we learn of Tanya’s fate. Komarovsky, whom she believed to be her father, abandoned her on the streets when running from the chaos of the Russian Civil War. BECAUSE HE IS A GODDAMN DICK. She does not want to believe that this is the truth, but she says that she’ll consider it. As she and her partner, David, leave the interview, it’s revealed that she can play the balalaika, which her departed father could never do. But the fact that she’s a self-taught master of it speaks to her ancestry, as Zhivago and Lara’s daughter.

And uh...I’m gonna be honest, that didn’t even feel like 3 hours and 20 minutes. Really! That was Doctor Zhivago! I really liked this one! But more on that in the Review. Stay tuned for that!