#ok so basically this is a verse that only really exists in my head

[admirableringmaker]

“differwnt time, different place” { @lordof-thargelion }

Send “different time, different place” for a starter or drabble in an au i have but haven’t utilized yet

In agony and shame, he had fled, across the valley of Nan Dungortheb, across the river Celon and the Gelion, leaving a trail of dark blood in his wake - blood that scorched the earth and killed the grass. In disarray, he threw himself at the feet of Thargelion's lord, bare of all raiment save his dark cloak.

"Please, I seek sanctuary."

[slexenskee]

Would quirks like Stain's work on Satoru? The thought just popped into my head and it won't leave. Like how does it even work yknow?? Is there a range, is there a limit on how old the blood can be or can stain just. eat a blood clot and it would still paralyze the target? Sorry I got a bit off topic but like quirks. How.

Basically, are there any quirks that can get past his Infinity? And how do quirks work in this verse?

Short answer: yes it would work in theory but in practice probably not. And no, there are no quirks that can get past Infinity. At least not in a conventional way.

Ok I'm not a huge MHA expert but my understanding of quirks is that they're powered by "Plus Alpha Energy", which is basically an amalgamation of physical and genetic traits that make up a person's quirk. I treat it identical to Chakra in Naruto, or Cursed Energy in Jujutsu Kaisen - meaning its like a secondary energy source separate from their physical energy. Kind of like how in video games you have your HP bar but you also usually have a secondary MP bar for spellcasting, and you can run out of Magic even though you still have full Health. But more like the above examples, because I believe in MHA its possible to die /severely injure yourself if you overuse your quirk, so they're not entirely exclusive systems.

According to the wiki there are 3 main types of quirks: transformation types, emitter types, and heteromorphic types. I don't believe they're mutually exclusive, bc someone like Hawks is sort of heteromorphic + emitter (since his feathers are telekinetic). But they all require the use of Plus Alpha Energy. Even for emitter types / telekinetic types, they're using Plus Alpha Energy to control those powers.

For the sake of my sanity, I am treating PAE (I'm going to start shortening it I'm sorry it's annoying to type) like any other energy wave - soundwaves, microwaves, visual light, radiowaves, etc., in that it still needs to move through physical space to get to its target, even if you can't see it. So just like any other energy wave, it can be blocked. I have to imagine this is canon, since quirk-blocking handcuffs exist. (?) Or maybe that's fanon idk. They exist in my story lol.

For the most part, PAE is really only used to interact with the world in a certain way. Examples:

Shouto's emitter PAE creates fire/ice across his skin, and he can push it out in various ways and create ice walls/fire blasts etc but they all have to start at his skin, which is why he can't just point at a building and light it on fire. Katsuki's Explosion is similar.

Eraserheads emitter PAE is in his eyeballs but reacts telekinetically, because he doesn't need to touch people to negate their quirk, just look at them. But PAE is still energy, even though his quirk is activated telekinetically it still needs to travel through reality

Blocking PAE, with handcuffs or Tartarus cells or other quirks like Erasure, stops the PAE from working and therefore stops the quirk. So even 'instantaneous', ranged telekinetic quirks like Erasure, or I imagine any amalgamation of mind control quirks, could theoreteically be stopped by anything that can block PAE. Because PAE is an energy wave, it's possibly for Infinity to block it.

In canon JJK we already see that Gojo can block soundwaves if/when he wants (fight scene with Jogo) - it's not unrealistic to assume he can block all various types of energy waves, radio, ultrasound, etc.

TL;DR: No Quirk can get past Infinity, because it's an energy wave and Infinity can block those.

However!

Infinity is not infallible, because Gojo is not a robot (or actually a god) and has human limitations. He almost always has it up in some capacity (as its canon that he can pick and choose what filters through, i.e., soundwaves and the visible light spectrum etc, can normally pass through) but he does pull the 'physical' barrier down for a lot of reasons.

I also headcanon that he's not as religious about keeping it up at all times as he was in JJK.

So for random examples:

Stain: Let's say he somehow acquires and ingests Gojo's blood. His PAE would then kick in and he would try to telekinetically stop Gojo's body. That PAE still has to travel through space to get to Gojo, and Gojo's Infinity expands the space between himself and the universe endlessly, so it would get stuck forever trying to make contact with Gojo and can never do it. So nope it wouldn't work. ❌

Toga: Again, through a very improbable but not impossible series of events she somehow gets Gojo's blood. Steals it from his regular doctor or something, whatever. She ingests it, and can turn into him/has access to his quirk. Idk if she'd have access to his Cursed Energy, because it's still unclear how much of Cursed Energy is Body vs. Soul. Technically, her quirk does work because it doesn't need to cross Infinity ✅

Naomasa/Makoto: This one was a tough one, definitely had to puzzle it out! I believe their quirks work on the response of the person, not by forcing their quirk onto others. So, Naomasa asks a question. This is just a normal soundwave, interacts like any other human voice. But then Gojo responds. It's his response that Naomasa's PAE interacts with, and since that response already traveled out of his Infinity barrier, Infinity is useless to stop a quirk like this. ✅

Ragdoll: Another one I had to ponder. This would depend on how Ragdoll's quirk works, which we don't know. In my story, I've decided it works by ingesting the PAE of the world around her, analyzing it, and putting that on a mental map. Because her PAE works by absorbing/reading the PAE of others, she's not pushing it out into the world around her in any way. It's Gojo who's pushing out his PAE, because Infinity is a one-way barrier (Gojo's cursed techniques/energy, his voice/soundwaves, and his kinetic/physical force all can pass the barrier). So Ragdoll's quirk would work on Gojo, because it doesn't need to try to pass his Infinity barrier. Gojo's PAE naturally leaves his barrier on its own. ✅

Eri: Her Rewind canonically doesn't need physical touch, if I'm not mistaken? I feel like i saw a panel somewhere where it's going haywire and affects everyone in her vicinity. Either way it's irrelevant, it still doesn't work on Infinity. It emits from her horn and is pushed out into the world around her either, by touch or possibly telekinetically, which means Infinity will stop the PAE before it reaches Gojo. And she wouldn't accidentally hurt Gojo either, even if he had Infinity down already because he's carrying her or whatever, because his Six Eyes would be able to see the surge of PAE in her horn before it manifests and react accordingly by pulling Infinity up. ❌

Shinsou: His quirk is basically him lacing his voice with PAE. Because its traveling through the air as both an energy wave and a sound wave, it gets stopped by Infinity. ❌

Basically, the rule of thumb for whether Gojo would be affected by someone's quirk is how their PAE interacts with the world. Any quirk that a user internalizes/doesn't push out of themselves will work on him, while anything that tries to force its way through his barrier will not.

Gojo >>> Quirk ✅

Gojo <<< Quirk ❌

[plantsarepeopletoo]

Only Friends Music EP6 part 2/2

Part one covers the first half of Ep6, or you can find other episodes on my pinned comment.

This is a series of posts taking a closer look at the music of Only Friends. Reminder: Playing with the music is like body language, it moves with the conversation. Verbal says something either through lyrics or something like a song title.

[3/4]

Song: Dark Premonitions by Jon Sumner 

Scene: Ray confronts Boston at his house

Type: Vocal, Playful

Starts after Ray yells “You slept with Top”. Another way of seeing Boston shutdown and he turns it back on Ray, saying Ray would be just as evil as him if Ray tells Mew. All the while minimizing and deflecting anything Ray throws his way.

Boston gives Ray a view of the future where he’s the villain for doing what is right. And this feeling makes Ray pause before telling Mew the truth.

Fun fact: the mirror has news clippings on it, one has Halloween in big letters, another might say Halloween is coming.

Song: Too Dusty (Live Version) by Blood Red Sun  Scene: Ray and Mew in the bathroom Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

[Verse 1] You got me acting out, you All tenderness is out the window What you do to me when the cold bites blue is straight cruel, mmm Oh, it has to be you leaving writings on the wall You promised me roses and hungry heads but, now there's only madness (Got me feeling dusty) (Got me feeling dusty) And I can't even whisper in this haunted scene oh take my hand and wake me Please Tell me it's a dream (dream) the worst kind you've ever dreamed [Chorus] Don't wanna lay anothеr night, here without you Don't wanna walk another milе, (I just can't) please don't make me do it I, I've got too much to lose I've got too much to lose Too much to lose [Verse 2] Now lay me in the wilderness, to dry out bits of your sweet caress I can't weep no more Willow trees have died, and the last Horned Lark will fly (Got me feeling dusty) (Got me feeling dusty) Please tell me it's a dream (dream) the worst kind you've ever dreamed

It starts in the bar bathroom scene, and most of the song in the show, except the last two lines. playing so softly it’s almost a background sound like you’d hear in a bathroom at a bar. The song is mournful, wishing for release of the old feelings even while hoping for the lover to not leave them. Death, drought, nightmares through out the song, and he just wants to be released.

“You’ve got me acting out” basically is what Ray will do, even though he’s trying to save himself and Mew. He’s fighting with himself, Mew told him that they can’t be friends if he can’t leave the old feelings, Boston and Sand both think that he’d tell Mew because of those feelings. He’s at risk of losing everyone if he tells Mew.

Later, when he does tell, he seems so heartbroken, assuming Mew would also believe it's because of those feelings. "I'm ok, I've always been ok" - "I just want you to be happy, even if I'm not part of it"

Song: ร้ายก็รัก by Joey Boy

Scene: Mew's party, Yo and friends are singing along to Joey Boy

Type: Vocal

Lyrics they sing:

I guess good guys only exist in… "Where?" "In Yo’s club!" A bad guy like me is doomed to misery I guess good guys only exist in fairy stories (You should’ve said “Yo’s club”) I’m a villain, no matter how much I love you, I must die eventually In the end, he’s the one who has your love

Mew's acting strange for what we know in the story, as everyone else is celebrating and singing along to the song. Good guys really only exist in fairy stories, and everyone is going to face their wrongs.

Song: Bursting Into Life by Harper Rey Scene: Ray criticizes everyone Cheum Type: Vocal

Starts after Ray says Cheum always complains to us you don’t have time for her, and she doesn’t understand your indie films. Ray’s finally moving, not just silently taking all the bad energy around him.

Song: Blame Game by GEMINII  Scene: Ray gets punched by Mew Type: Vocal

Lyrics not in show:

Stop fighting Done lying For closure Can we turn this last page over? Talk about it Can’t go round it It’s not over Everything is moving slower  They cling on to the blame Cause it’s all (Can we turn this last page over?) They have left to do Moving on from the pain Cause it’s all (But, everything is moving slower) They have left to do More, then thousands On the horizon I swear we’re trapped in Everything we feared is happening

Ray brought everything to the surface. He kicked everyone’s sandcastles down. The only person he attacked personally was Sand, and even then it wasn’t anything sacred that Sand shared with him. Now he’s trapped holding the blame, he became the villain in their stories like Boston was in his. 

“Everything we feared is happening” is an interesting line, since Boston was afraid Ray would tell Mew about Top, Nick is afraid Boston will leave him, Mew was afraid of Top not being serious about their relationship, Top was afraid that Ray and Mew were more than friends, Sand is afraid Ray will choose Mew, and Ray is afraid that Mew will push him away. Sand already pushed Ray away, so Ray hurts Sand like Sand hurt Ray. Sand doesn’t want Ray’s money, but if Ray keeps repeating it, maybe Sand would get how it feels to be accused of something over and over. 

They’ve all made prophecies that have come true, and now everyone holds onto the blame.

Maybe once they let go of that blame and start actually being honest with themselves, they can move forward. 

[4/4]

Song I’ll Do It All over Again by Mindme  Scene: April and Cheum make up, Boston and Nick in bed Type: Vocal

Lyrics:

I see you struggle Like butterflies in water Can’t get moving forward I see your shoulders Weighed down by armor You don’t need that protection

Lyrics not in show

I would walk on glass I would run ten thousand miles and more I would give my eyes if you lost your sight I would run through fire I would carry you through the heat I would do it all again if you needed me to Wish that I could Take away your pain Like sunbeams in the rain Oh we’re family Where ever you go I’ll follow What ever you do I’ll handle I would walk on glass I would run ten thousand miles and more I would give my eyes if you lost your sight I would run through fire I would carry you through the heat I would do it all again if you needed me to Oh, oh I’ll do it all over again Oh, Oh I’ll do it all over again I would run through fire I would carry you through heat I’ll do it all over again

Song starts as April asks Cheum to not lie, that her words mean so much.

I see you struggle Like butterflies in water

These two lines play as April and Cheum hug, their problem fixed as soon as Cheum stopped blaming Ray and owned up to her own words.

The scene switches to Boston and Nick in Nick’s room halfway through the next line, as they lay silently in bed. Nick and Boston are stuck, unable to move forward since Boston refuses to talk. Ray exploding at the club has upset Boston more than he’s willing to say to Nick, the one person who would listen and accept.

In the show, the lyrics are Nick’s feelings “I see your shoulders” Nick rolls over to put his hand on Boston’s chest, “weighted down by armor” Boston moves Nick’s hand away, and “You don’t need that protection” plays as Boston rolls away, shutting down Nick’s comfort.

Boston’s armor is his minimizing, reflecting blame, his masks, and here, the disconnect. Nick would walk on glass and follow Boston across the world, but he can’t fix anything if Boston turns away from him. You can’t force someone to love you, even if you walk through fire for them.

Song: I Used to Be Free by Fleurs Douces Scene: Song Mew puts on after lighting candles Type: Vocal

Lyrics heard in show:

Feeling caged Unsafe Lights are out I'm fading Angels Call my name Move on Just move on I'm falling so deep, deep below I'm not alright Can't get no sleep, time's too slow I can't keep fighting I used to be free, but now I'm just old Losing my mind It's all in my head, it's all in my head Not too long ago When I still felt joy Not a pressure on my chest Try to find a Way to Control it I don't wanna live a life like this I'm falling so deep, deep below I'm not alright Can't get no sleep, time's too slow

(beginning of next song overlaps and drowns out the rest)

I can't keep fighting I used to be free, but now I'm just old Losing my mind It's all in my head, it's all in my head

Mew lights candles and we get a sickly green glow, the song is haunting and it draws Top into the bedroom. “When we love or get attached to anyone, it’s hard to get over that person. Don’t you think” Mew asks Top.

Not too long ago When I still felt joy Not a pressure on my chest Try to find a Way to Control it I don't wanna live a life like this

Mew took control of the situation, he didn’t give Top a way out, and he proved that it is Top’s voice on that tape. The refusal to want to feel this pressure, this despair, is what drives Mew’s actions in the next episode.

I like how the next song, cold-blooded drowns out the rest of this song. It's angry and decisive, Mew has made his decision. Mew is ready to hurt Top as they start to undress.

Song: cold-blooded by King Sis  Scene: Top and Mew start to do it in Mew’s bed Type: Vocal

Lyrics not heard in show:

I lay you to rest in pieces No picture on a T-Shirt Like you never existed I’m done being a victim This is my villain era, look out I go hard from my heart Play with her, it go down Now you blocked Shhh Don’t make a sound Don’t wish you no harm But I hope that no good come around In my space there's no cheaters allowed I gave you my word Try it again you gonna lose your girlfriend The nerve To think I wouldn’t disappear from your life Cold-Blooded Boy I’m cold-blooded All this blue ice water in my veins Memorial service in your name Cold-blooded You are trying to spin the block now Bring flowers to my job now Oh you realized what you lost now I been pressure, never stop now But I’m way too good at goodbyes Bet you thought grass was green on that other side Guess what I’ll help you decide Tattoo'd on my tears No I swear that you won’t catch me crying Got no reasons left to rewind I gave you my word Try it again I’ll put you on the bench Do not disturb To think I used to dream of being your wife Cold-blooded

The beginning of the song starts after Mew asks for one more gift and turns to undo Top’s shirt. Given this song, that gift might be front row seats at Top’s funeral. Or at least a close up of Top’s shocked face when he finds out about the tape. As the song says:

I’m done being a victim This is my villain era, look out

Top messed around, and instead of doing what he should have done, which was go to Mew with his concerns with Ray, he decides to fuck Boston.

Song: The Vice by Hampus Naeselius Scene: Mew confronts Top about the tapes  Type: Background, Playful

Top’s vice, his wrongs, are brought to light and at first Top falls back to his habit of not telling the whole truth. Mew voices his concerns, his insecurities, angry at the betrayal of a friend and a lover at the same time. The song ends with Mew saying he can’t trust anything Top says.

Honesty and Sincerity are a major theme of Only friends, as the first song in the show says,

Because I know you are honest Someone like you I've never met Take it, take all of my heart It's all yours

Right now the only couple at the end of Ep6 is April and Cheum, who, after their problems were laid out onto the table, were able to start to fix them. Top and Mew’s bewitchment has been broken, and Sand and Ray’s fragile connection has shattered. Nick and Boston, in Ep7 are completely apart, but it’s still early, and I’m not sure how the show is going to direct their path. 

--

That's it for EP6, thank you for reading! Thank you @rocketturtle4 for your patience with me this episode.

Here's the master list

Here's a link to EP6 part 1

[mute-call]

ok as per usual im gonna dump all my ideas here & figure them out later <3

v; your bell telephone factory : dsaf-fluid factory phone au.

things i Want / need to keep in mind bc i want to use them / also make this unique from his other verses:

he's not the only pg!! i'll go refresh myself on the generations but i think i want him uhhhh peter-esque.......? bro idk i need my dsaf friends to remind me of stuff. basically i want him to have access to his pre-phone memories but not Immediate Complete access

im sorry i refuse to name any pg of mine scott cawthon all my besties hate scott cawthon <3 . but the pg name can be scott gyver in honor of one of my fave canon phone guy designs

blue head. i cant wait to confuse people by using my animatronic icons for non-animatronic verse >:)c

steven should have worked with other pgs in the past when he was human. i think he would have been lowkey scared of them but also never really got in trouble w them. uneasy alliance /lh. steven voice hey my life might suck but at least i dont have a phone for a head! haha. ha. ha

alright down to the details!

i’m thinking he discovers one of the kids’ bodies in the suits if I want to differentiate, or i can steal from dsaf & let him catch William (Henry?) in the act. I think either would work well for him tbh.

additional / alternate idea.... he gets caught during fnaf 2 shit. not a manager at that point (some other pg is). catches william using the suit & gets Done For. previous pg gets scrapped after all that shit goes down & steve comes to look over fnaf 1. it like. goes ok for a while & then the location goes into decline but doesnt technically close so he is just Standing There. <3 . he takes over night shift bc he just fucken lives there basically. has some line about how he's less likely to get his head bit in now that it's plastic so this is the best option for everyone.

im so indecisive about how & when he should die pre-phone. idk man idk. i think this is one of those things i need to develop better in threads / might be flexible & set at diff points thread to thread

pre-phone steve....

drawing from my hcs about him when he was younger, i think pre-phone phoney was SO bright & cheerful & nicies...

really good with the kids. excited about his first real job to support his family. not yet beaten down by fnaf-slash-dsaf shenanigans

i guess he'd die younger than 30 in this unless he gets phone-ified after his canon death point but that doesnt make much sense. so. itty bitty phone. youngun.

post-phone scott....

i am SO into the idea that he's never fired anyone. pushover of a phone!!!

he & peter can share their fake little photo of a completely different phone guy w a completely different family /lh. pg's so excited to have kids :) . he talks about them all the time! please stop telling him they dont exist!!!

partially to differentiate from animatronic verses & partially to bring in his fnaf 1 characterization i think he's pretty chill as far as pgs go. like he'll ask you to stop screwing stuff up but he'll also just shrug and leave if you tell him to shut up about it T_T . very difficult to rile up.

i think one benefit of phoneification for him was removing his guilt about jeremy where applicable. i think i am leaning more towards steve being human for that game, and the bite of '87 stuff being a real turning point for him in terms of . everything. (but blue, wouldnt it make more sense for him to die BEFORE the bite? yes. <3 and yet /lh).

i think he & jeremy would have been closer if he hadn't been manager + everything that happened there fucked him up severely. luckily, as a phone, he doesnt feel much about it at all!

is there anything im missing..... idk more to come. etc.

[foreverephemeral-art]

i demand a pyrr infodump

Oh boy ok

So Pyrr was originally the god of time and space in his world, which basically meant it was his job to guide the course of events towards the most desirable outcome as was dictated by his overseer. He was created by his "mother" to do this, and soon after his two younger siblings were also created. While technically the sisters had more power than he did, their jobs were limited and they were extremely envious of him. This only escalated when the people in his world began to worship him as their main deity even though the sisters were the ones who created them. Over time all the power and attention got to his head, basically meaning he was an egotistical, self-entitled, uncaring jerk. It was like this for quite some time, a good few centuries, until the sisters got fed up with Pyrr's attitude. They were able to combine their power and transform into an entity that easily rivalled him, and using their new-found abilities they stripped Pyrr of his godhood, turning him into a regular dragon and sending him to live on the surface. He spent millennia there, isolated and forced to live as just a regular guy. Over time he went through a redemption arc and whatnot, eventually turning into the silly little guy he is now, although none of that is really interesting

Also I should note, that lore is only somewhat canon since being a sona/mascot and whatnot he exists in a sort of verse-less limbo. The "canon" Pyrr and the one I use as my mascot are kind of like two different characters in a sense. I suppose that is the peril of giving lore to sonas. Oh well

[writingkitten]

How would they react when their s/o tells them that they're pregnant?

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ricardo: omg omg omg okay so I have a fic in the works for this actually but idk when I’m actually gonna finish it so I’ll go ahead a give a summary. So I think, since he already had Karina, Ricardo and his s/o wouldn’t want to have a child, but then his s/o gets pregnant and when they get the positive test they’re actually excited but now also worried because Ricardo doesn’t want a kid. They know they can’t keep it a secret from him for long so they just decide to tell him as soon as he gets home from work. So he walks through the door, his s/o right there and they don’t know how to lead into it gently so they just say “I’m pregnant” and Ricardo’s eyes widen and he looks from their face to their stomach and back. Then he just drops his stuff, closing the distance between them and drops to his knees, pulling them in close and kissing their stomach a million times, saying “I love you” between each one. He holds them like that for a long time, only letting go when they tell him dinner is getting cold (he doesn’t want the mother of his child eating cold food!!!!!)

Otto/Doc Ock: this man… my god this man would be a happy wreck. He’d hold his s/o tight but also carefully because he doesn’t want to hurt the baby. Tears running down his face, a massive smile on his face, then moving to hold his s/o’s face in his hands and giving them the most loving kiss (yes he’d react the same way both pre- and post-accident Doc Ock wants babies with his s/o)

Robert: okay the first few were written sober I’m high now so Robert would probably sob and be super happy and holding his s/o tight omg he’d just be a shaking happy mess already thinking of baby names (okay I’m sober now reading this and it’s pretty accurate) also would be HELLA protective (so would all molina-verse characters, some more so than others)

Harold: *see robert* there’s not much else I can say he’s just really happy, oh I will say though that throughout the pregnancy he’d be glowing (like you know how people will tell someone who’s pregnant “omg you’re glowing!!!!” yeah he basically matches his s/o that way)

Harding: before he’d let himself celebrate, Harding would check his s/o himself to confirm they’re pregnant because he trusts his staff but with something as big as HAVING A CHILD he would want to be 100% certain because if somehow they weren’t actually pregnant the “loss” of the child would be too much for him (but also he’d be like “well now we just have to actually get you pregnant” aka lots of sex). Once confirmed he’d be extremely excited, probably buying “Baby’s First Surgery Kit” (if those exist idk I made it up)

Chandler: ok he’d fuck them first of all to celebrate, because the fact that he got his s/o pregnant is just insanely empowering to him and where does this power go? To his head (not that one, the other one). After that he’d actually be kinda nervous about being a father because he’s doesn’t exactly fit the “average dad” stereotype so it would worry him but his s/o would reassure him and after that he’d be very attentive to his s/o and also a great dad

Big Boss: “are ya sure? are ya DAMN sure? don’t tell me I’m gonna be a dad if ya aren’t fucking certain” again, super excited, but also is like Harding in the sense that he’d want the results triple checked. Probably would buy the baby a tiny cowboy hat

Manuel: lol okay so I have a wip that involves this sorta (not pregnancy, but his feelings towards pregnancy) so, going by that, he’d be thrilled and would ensure that his s/o is treated like a god

Edelweiss: like Harding, he’d want to see for himself, but, unlike Harding, it’d be because he just wants to watch the baby doing it’s thing, living it’s best life in the womb (this happens throughout the pregnancy, gets to the point where s/o brings something to do while Edelweiss watches the baby for hours on end via ultrasound)

Dick: *see robert* screaming, shaking, sobbing (good)

Arden: he’d pass out. Don’t get me wrong, when he wakes up he’s celebrating 1000%, but yeah he’d pass out

Dunlop: *see Otto/Doc/Robert* listen… a lot of the boys are very emotional and loving, it’s not my fault they’d react similarly they just really really love their s/o

Boris: *see robert* but like ten times that, I mean my welsh (? I think that’s correct) boy is so emotional and sensitive (I don’t say that bad btw!!!! it’s v good fuck toxic masculinity)

Armand: I feel like he’d initially be like “fuck I can’t do this I’m not gonna be a good dad” (he wouldn’t abandon his s/o or anything he’d just have doubts about himself as a parent at first) again s/o would reassure him, though he’d still be nervous about it until the baby is born, after seeing them for the first time he’d just fall right into the role of Chief Inspector Dad

Oswald: same as Robert, but before he’s happy sobbing he is sad/scared/guilty/disgusted-with-himself sobbing because he’s like “how could this perfect angel ever want to have a child with me?” but his s/o kisses away his tears and reassures him they want this child until he believes it (credit: @chrism02)

Andres: already knows, don’t know how but he does, has a room already set up as the nursery (and a room in the nearby hospital’s maternity ward on reserve for the next nine months, seriously no one is going to be in that room as a patient until his s/o goes into labor)

Diego: literally just super joyful laughing, hugging his s/o (maybe a little too) tight, also his mother would be so caring??? idk why I get that vibe from him that his mother would be like that, but yeah she’d be making his s/o so much food and giving them Diego’s old toys/other baby stuff

Maxim: literally anytime @Chrism02 has written Maxim finding out his s/o (the reader) is pregnant is his Canon™️ response imo

Hank: overwhelmed with a million emotions (he’s a politician, a pregnancy can be both good and bad for both his career and his personal life), but the prevailing emotion is joy (and he definitely flaunts his pregnant s/o in the public eye, he’s just like “hey this is my baby and there’s a baby in my baby it’s my double baby, my baby-baby, my baby squared”)

Frank: despite his affinity for objectification (aka his “sex toy” kink), Frank is also very domestic and loving, so he’d be over the moon about his s/o being pregnant! Literally just holds them as close as possible until his s/o finally has to pry him off of them

[incarnateirony]

OK. So I've gotten questions a few times about like "hey, what about spinoff idea?" for the guys. Whether that be SPN Universe or, hey, do you think XYZ Misha gets a Two Face Spinoff?

OK guys. I need you to understand. You guys get to very casually consume, argue about, and delete the efforts of the results, but TV is very hard work and very expensive to make. It doesn't look like it when there's pretty pictures on your TV for you to argue about, but it is.

So first of all, I can guarantee you, anyone that goes But Why Not My Spinoff Idea, even if they're salty af about The Winchesters angle, has not thought about the full ramifications of their idea. 100%.

I got one sent to me for basically The Castiel Show about his time traveling adventures and stuff he did in ancient past. And you know what, you're right, that's fun as hell in like, Ao3. But one, you're still trying to lean entirely on internal existing demo, without building out around new audiences. Two, anything you do is gonna smack of predestination anyway, and anyone even trying to bring that pitch needs to have it come pre-loaded with major explanations and displays of subversion off the bat. You need that concept PLUS the Real Moral and shit, and you're gonna need that before anybody humors ANYTHING. Then you gotta unpack how you gonna get the budget to do Tour De History without being a joke.

That's just one example, in the SPN relevant ones, because it's easier to use that as a language you guys understand. But I hear questions as far as like "if GK does well and Two Face is popular, will misha get a spinoff?"

And like, no. Stop. One, Two Face is already hugely popular and already has a variety of special POV content in the franchise. If you are interested in DC or Two Face, go enjoy the content that already exists. If you are interested in GK, I would hope it encompasses more than Misha in your head, even if he is super important. But of all the shows to get a spinoff, it's gonna be the younger kids.

Now, there's a likely chance Misha becomes a recurring Two Face face for a corner of the franchise, like berlanti's new verse. That's not really a spinoff, it's just staying the faceclaim as it builds out. That's likely. But if you're coming in asking, before a show airs, and disregarding the EXISTING popularity of that character, if your favorite actor is gonna Get His Own Spinoff From It, odds are, you aren't really thinking about the ramifications of your wishlist there any more than the time traveling Castiel AU. And you're definitely not thinking remotely about the other performers.

Yes guys, Misha is very important on GK. No guys, he shouldn't be the only thing you care about to the point you disregard the core of DC canon and its content or popularity Before Your Fave Was Ever Involved.

TV is hard work. Having an idea about your favorite actor doing your favorite things is awesome, but I hate to say it guys, that's what Ao3 is for. And the way thoughts arrive on Ao3 is VERY DIFFERENT from the way thoughts arrive broadcasted on your television during primetime. Your stories are great for you, and fun to tell or read, those ideas can be great, but I need everyone to start breaking down this new idea where Every Idea Is Worth A Spinoff just because Jensen made one and Jared followed suit. We're in a new age where shit isn't ordered like that just for the fuck of it anymore.

So basically, begging people to THINK. If you're asking me because when you compare it to reality, it sounds like a pipe dream, and you hope I'm gonna reaffirm your pipe dream, don't ask me based on that, because you probably won't get the response you want.

[doyouknowthemossinman]

okay someone asked me frfr for the RGB/Bad Suns song picks so HERE I GO ( @goosemagician i am forever in your debt !!!!!!)

i talk way too much so erm. BE WARNED, HERE BE WORDS

We Move Like the Ocean from Language and Perspective

The entire first verse of this song is literally RGB's headspace during Cut to, Greenlight, Dissolve, and Iris imo. like "I've been painting pictures in my head and falling short / Losing my direction, turn me around" THAT'S HIM AND MADRAS OK!!! HE'S SO SAD

The second verse is very much his weird not-his-death dreams. I just felt like is was kinda fitting? Maybe he's talking to Hate here? (The "didn't you used to dance" face and Hate's face in his flashback are the SAME has anyone talked about this yet)

To me the chorus is his relationship with Hero as it develops. They've got kind of a rhythm going now, they kinda know how the other works, they are getting closer emotionally hahaha, but RGB literally and figuratively can't swim. He's not as emotionally available as Hero needs him to be. Even the "anymore" on the end of that line implies that he has bonded with people like that in the past (at least romantically if i'm interpreting light entertainment as canon? it's canon right??) but he can't for Hero. Yet.

Even in my Dreams, I Can't Win from Disappear Here

Honestly this entire song is just him and I can SEE a little animatic in my head but I'll try to explain

The first verse feels like what his nights are like without a hero to guide, those inbetweens when he has to find the gall to get back up to the Inbetween (ha) and find another keyframe.

The pre-chorus and chorus is just his cycle of finding heroes and failing time and time again. rip.

The bridge feels like him getting frustrated and overwhelmed at his not-death nightmares and trying to explain them to Hero and this is all he comes up with lol. It's not even entirely accurate but I think he would at least try and explain them to her eventually.

Away We Go from Mystic Truth

honestly this one's kind of just an adventuring song!! Maybe cutting between his time with Magnus and some of the heroes? or just Hero? It feels simple to me and I kinda just picked it to have one song from each album lmao. BUT IT ALSO APPLIES I would never disrespect Mystic Truth like that

Life Was Easier When I Only Cared About Me from Apocalypse Whenever

This is basically "determined little ball of sunshine worms her way into a monster's non-existent heart" the song. Like the Iris through Flood era. Like "how does this little girl keep violently pulling her forcefully-adopted dad out of his depression"

First verse is sad dad!!!! I know "My thoughts came flooding in / I started to drown" relates to the title of Flood and he has come close to being drowned like twice, but it's more like that vaguely suicidal moment he has after Madras pushes him backward??? BABE ARE U OKAY

"Lit my own fuse, I could not blow it out / I was strapped to a rocket aimed right at the ground" is definitely one of their arguments/genuine heartbreaking fights but it'S OK THEY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER

AND THE CHORUS OH MY GOD. He realizes how much Hero really means to him and is just SO mad about it. Okay not mad but like!! He wasn't supposed to get attached and now here he is!!!! Also IF at the end of the story RGB turns back into a human (that's a theory people have right) "I had no reason to breathe / Until you knocked the wind out of me" IS GOING TO BE SO LITERAL OH MY GODDDD (I don't personally think that's where we're going but it would be sooooo niceeee andmy songs would work so well for thaaat)

Anyway!!! Thank you for making it to the end!! As a prize you get more song recs because GOD he literally is just Bad Suns to me

Okay wait actually, bonus Thoughts because i'm listening to L&P again, Salt is like if he ever got a weird dysphoria after becoming a monster??? IF THAT EVEN HAPPENED??? Mirror mention and my brain went insane sorry. "These memories are nothing to me, just salt" mans literally SOLD his so like. IT'S RELEVANT. idk please go listen to Salt it's so trans

Most of Language and Perspective (the album not just the song) is pretty relevant to him but that may just be my bias getting in the way lol. Cardiac Arrest, Dancing on Quicksand, and Salt would be my number ones but I'm so for real please go listen to the whole album

Disappear Here also has bangers but so far the only other song I can relate to this mess of a man is Defeated.

One Magic Moment is him and Hero for sureee but it's just a vibe, other than the first lines i don't have any deeper thoughts lol. Love By Mistake is also him idk.

Unstable is his denial song i think <3 babes is not okay

Most of Apocalypse Whenever is so happy in a genuine way, while TV boy here is happy in a fake way. Maybe it'll apply more by the end of the story but for now nothing really fits. EXCEPT FOR ELECTRIC CIRCUS AAAAHHH??? hOW COULD I FORGET. "Crushed by a tidal wave of lies an shame" OKAY GIRL. anyway never thought i'd tell you that the album with a PVRIS feature is too happy but here we are

The Infinite Joy EP is SO GOOD guys. Living or Dying is vaguely RGB-vibey? Maybe Astral Plans as well but it's very loose.

OK FOR REAL GO FORTH AND BECOME BAD SUNS FANS

[mathcs]

4, 20, 25?

send a number for me to talk about one of the following topics!

oop this one got really long! thank you for sending ✨

4. multiple people threads

pretty fun, i've seen those! i think how they can work is the muns take turns replying to the thread in the same order every time minus plotted moments (at least on tumblr)?

there's big fun potential with said threads though, i could be down for something like that if some details are plotted (even if i would probably be slow as usual with them the fear of me slowing down multiple other muns tho oh n o) and whenever i see one in our general vicinity nowadays it's exciting!

20. violent threads

this is interesting! basically i'm a canon typical violence(tm) writer, trying to fit the mood of whatever moment/verse the thread is in! like my "angst has to be meaningful" philosophy ways, any violence would have serve some purpose, even if it's a little purpose, as long as it's not there just for the sake of it.

and now i just remembered how i made jude get shot and ambiguously die in my bad!end drabble DKJFLKJK he hates me just to show how dire things have gotten for him (i guess that means that verse is rated M now. it's a tad darker than x2... and that's ok because he's a badass in it).

speaking of that M rating! i can similarly see myself writing typical horror violence stuff for jude, because that could be fun not for him (e.g. tone/intensity levels similar to games like fatal frame, higurashi, the last of us) but i probably wouldn't get into the extreme details of said violent stuff unless it was super necessary or something. some stuff is better left to the imagination for sure.

in terms of violence during fight scenes, canon typical violence stuff is again my benchmark! i've done the my muse and your muse vs npc fight scenes which is fun, but i don't really have experience with the 1v1 my muse vs your muse in the parking lot type but i'd only feel inclined if the details were plotted beforehand (e.g. knowing the conclusion/set direction of the thread) and if the fight in said thread/scene held some narrative weight.

basically i'm way more interested in the emotional tone/importance of an action scene (plus the impact of it later) rather than just writing it to focus on the technical details of the fight of who would win etc. to me, the latter is just a vehicle to make the whole thing come togetherー it's important, but incomplete without the whole 'why' part. because then it'd feel a lot less like writing out a smash bros match rather than just playing it (i think that's my weirdest metaphor yet LMAOO) personal preference strikes again though!

25. your character ( the gushing commenceth / unhinged version )

i've somewhat(?) properly gushed about him here and related it to writing so if your name is Lin you're no stranger to me saying things about Jude UMM i'll just talk about his hair LMAOO

the beautiful and subtle asymmetry of his hair in x1 especially that slightly longer piece of hair off to the side of his head here. is it underrated or does everyone love that part, i have no idea sldjflsdkf but he really doesn't sport the super generic flat mc hair, it's just a little wavy/longer at the back! the non-wild/cute and round hair look suits his quieter personality here too T_T plus he's so cute bYE

his extremely amazing hair in x2. described aptly. this coupled with his new outfit = i now have an entirely different concept of "one year timeskip" i remember thinking at first "WAIT THAT'S HIM? NO WAY... idk... let me think about this..." but now he makes me faint so. who won here. it suits him bc he's even more mature, and his character design changed so much but in the best way i think. i'm so glad this version of him exists LMAOO good job x2 for all your faults and amazing moments

[exsqueezememacaroni]

Hearing Mike Patton: the big list

OK here we go. My Mike Patton listening journey so far, opinions on what I've heard. This is a rolling WIP - I'll be making edits to the original post as I see fit. Please don't reblog (lol, there's a no reblogs feature now - so you can't!) but feel free to comment/reply. Long post, so it's under a cut.

the Mike Patton bands (more that 1 studio album as a full member/lead) in order of preference

#1 Tomahawk - you know I love this band and I pretty much love everything about it. John's driving drums, Duane's soundscape guitar, Mike's perfect blend of creeped out whispers, raw powerful singing, and just audible triple-tracked screaming. And horror of horrors, I prefer Kevin's sludgy simple punk bass to Trevors, like, good playing

Studio Albums: Self Titled: I have listened through this album more times than I can count. One of my s-tier. The first four songs are basically perfect imo. Every song makes me wanna fuck Mike dirty on the floor, ahem. Least favorite is POP 1 - frankly I don't love the inflection in his voice during the verses think the verses are a liiiittle to whiny sounding. Mit Gas: Was my intro to this band and still one of my faves, though ST just edges it out. This time the middle of the album is the best to me, You Can't Win through Capt. Midnight. I want to like Desastre Natural, but I just don't, sorry Mike! Anonymous: Ok - I actually do love LISTENING to this album, but I kind of hate that it exists. I want someone to tell me it's not cultural appropriation. Antelope Ceremony is such a wonderful bop and I love Mike's vocals and chill little interlude/bridge. Crow Dance is fantastic. Cradle Song can suck it. Oddfellows: As mentioned I'm actually not a huge fan of Trevor just within the context of this band. Like, the songs are still Tomahawkesque, but they're too...normal? Tight? Eh, it's pretty good but strangely my least favorite of the catalogue. IOU is good Rise Up Dirty Waters is good, I do not like White Hats/Black Hats. Tonic Immobility: I probably haven't listened through this as often as I should, maybe just a few times. But I remember liking it better than Oddfellows. So maybe Trevor is redeemed. The first 3 songs are great....and then I don't remember the rest of the album off the top of my head! Live Shows/Bootlegs: I think I've listened to/watched basically all the bootlegs and live show videos available on yt. Some multiple times. Listen - I love this band. Particular bootleg highlights (that I remember) are of course the London Astoria 2002 show, the House of Blues shows in 2003, and the Stockholm 2002 show cuz it came off the soundboard. Listening to the first tour is really fun to hear how the band learns to play live with each other. And how Birdsong, Mayday and Harelip get developed. I wish I knew the scratch lyrics, and I bet so does Mike 😂. How I wish there was better quality video footage of the first tour. Like with every fiber of my being. Mike Patton was SERVING LOOKS. Special note that I think Trevor during the Oddfellows tour looks pretty dang cute! And you know what, the more I listen to the Oddfellows tour show, the more I'm appreciating the songs off it...I still don't love White Hats/Black Hats, but live Mike does put a good spin on it.

#2 Mr. Bungle - The partner band to my proper introduction to Mike Patton. They're only second because I truly find I end up listening to Tomahawk more often. The range between albums coming from the same core trio is gorgeous. Bär and Danny (and Theo, while he was with them) are incredible. The live band is master class. The live shows have some fucking balls. Sorry, I don't count Scott or Dave as part of the band!

Studio Albums: Self Titled: I mean, what can I say? It's definitely ska! (lolololol). It almost doesn't even make sense to talk about any Bungle album. But really, I strangely appreciate how earnest (???) this album is. You can just tell these are a bunch of kids who love...sounds. And love making music together. Mike's high pitched vocals are tempered by good growl-ly stuff. Travolta is an obvious favorite, Egg maybe a less obvious favorite??? The "no place like home" bit makes me so happy. Even though it's my url namesake, Squeeze Me Macaroni is pretty silly and might be my least fave? Disco Volante: Sometimes when I'm sad I'll listen to this album and it will almost always make me feel better, even though it has no reason to. It's not my favorite album of theirs, but it's definitely an important one, and I have deep love for it. Every track is my favorite...even Backstrokin! (fartn', pissn', strokn' my fuckin dick) For some reason After School Special always makes me think it's a TMBG-influenced track?? California: Ya, I know, obvious fave, but it really is. I just think it's more of an actual uh, cohesive?, album than DV is. And it's got, like, songs! Retrovertigo has been a sleeper, but it might just be my favorite right now. My favorite on my first listen was Ars Moriendi. It's sacrilege, but I don't love Pink Cigarette. Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny: Again, probably the studio album from Mr. Bungle that I've listened to the least, but it's still good and I do like it. I just need to be in the mood for it. I think it would make a killer live show and it pisses me off that people are mad at them for the tour set. Like, what did you expect from this band? Hoo boy, let's see - I like Raping Your Mind, Anarchy Up Your Anus and Eracist, and I think I need to listen to the album more to compare the rest! Demos: Crap, I am such a bad Bungle fan, I haven't listened to any of them all the way through. I'll get on that and report back. Live Shows/Bootlegs: I am pretty sure I have seen all the available yt video footage of live shows from ST tour to the Cali tour? I haven't completely seen any pre-album shows. And I've listened to maybe 30% of the bootlegs starting from the ST tour, but honestly mostly from the DV and Cali tours. I'm such a hyprocrite and I haven't listened to/seen any of the RWOTEB shows completely. The early Bungle show videos are just so bonkers, they must have just felt so fucking alive then. Mike with the shaved sides (when you could see his head) is perfect. And I particularly love the two bootlegs from the 1999 Bowery Ballroom shows. Mike is like super nice to the crowd, and the crowd is so super nice to the band?!?

#3 Faith No More - Ha ha, FNM is only 3rd! And it's true, I just never really listened to much from this band until maybe December last year. I remember that infamous bf playing me the whole of TRT and I just cannot listen to Mike being that high pitched for that long. But since listening to the Download Festival 2009 show casually while working, I've fallen pretty hard. I appreciate what everyone's bringing to the sound - for me it's Billy that really sells it and while I think the synths/keyboard add a lot, I wish there was just more. to. them. I must admit my guitarists in order are Trey (ya!), Jim, Jon, Dean. I'll just be listing Mike era output.

Studio Albums: The Real Thing: Yup, still can't listen to this one too often. I do not like Epic. I don't even like when Mike sings Epic in his mature voice. My fave song from this album is Woodpecker From Mars. That should tell you something. The Real Thing is pretty great. Edge of the World is fun, but it was only on the cassette supposedly?? Angel Dust: Ah, the golden child of FNM albums. I love it, but it's not my favorite, simply because I dislike Kindergarten SO MUCH. Not like "oh I don't love it", no, I heavily dislike this song. But everything else is great. Midlife Crisis the obvious fave, and the first half of the album is just fantastic, but if I had to chose one it actually might be Caffeine. King for A Day...: Yup, it's this one. This one is my favorite. Maybe it's Trey adding magic guitar dust. Maybe because they recorded in Woodstock and gave it some east coast flavor. Honestly maybe it's because there isn't much keyboard. But I think this album is such an engaging listen and I have a good time whenever I do. Ricochet is wonderful, The Gentle Art of Making Enemies sounds 10X better live but does the job in the studio (I really wish he hadn't choked up his vocals on the 2nd "you need something wet in your mouth"), and I have a real fondness for Ugly in the Morning. What the hell is Star A.D. doing here? Album of the Year: I think it's just Mike that doesn't like this album at this point? Ya some of the songs sound a little like throwaways...but they're still easy on the ears. Like I kinda love how sweeping, (gentle?), and sentimental a lot of it is. The way Mike belts the last lines in Ashes to Ashes does something to my body that I cannot possibly describe. Sol Invictus: Fuck, I really just check out on Mike after like, 2010, huh? I have listened through this album exactly once. It was fine, and I have no idea why I haven't listened to it again (I just started listening to it again right now...I think I need to talk about older Mike's 'Tom Waits' voice at some point, oh and maybe his like, thrash screech voice too, I'm still a fan of him growling like a dog though) Live Shows/Bootlegs: Mike is almost always better live, and for me it's most apparent in FNM shows. I think he gets some flack for seeming checked out??? during shows (maybe not being faithful to the songs?), but I don't know how you could look at any performance and not see Mike giving all of himself to the music. He knows how the song goes, he just something else to say. Anyway I will always be entranced by the 1997 London Astoria Show (god help me) AND the 1997 Brixton Academy Show (and fuck). And where would we be without the 1995 Santiago Chile show? And and? On god there are so, so many good ones... omg and all the TV appearances! The professional footage from the reunion shows are beautiful, and the tour is so much fun, but most of them don't have the same charm as the shitty bootlegs and I particularly dislike the Area 4 Festival 2009 video, with the exception of Patton's stripper euro. I've listened to probably 15% of the audio bootlegs, just a couple with Chuck, there are so ding dang many of them, and there is so much video footage, I'm just less desperate for them. Ok, and last thing, I do appreciate the changed lyrics on Epic for live shows ("so you lay down on it and you FUCK it some more," "What is it? It's SHIT!"). They make the song 10% more bearable.

(sorry I got distracted by yet another Tomahawk 2001 video, and now it's time for bed - more to come)

#4 Fantômas - Does this count as a solo project since it's all Mike's aural vision? Either way, I know I'd be more legit if I placed them higher on the list...but....I'm getting there. It's just that I mostly am listening to all this while I'm working, and you just can't listen to Fantômas while doing something else. You gotta sit with headphones, preferably in the dark, eyes closed. Or at least I do. The good thing is, listening to this band has really prepared me for Adult Themes for Voice, at least the few tracks I've heard off it (like, I just picture Mike in his hotel room, hearing all of Fantômas, but only the vocals coming out). And all that being written, the technical ability and, funnily, musicality it takes to pull this off is just staggering. Of course Trevor was on board, but kudos to Dave and Buzzo for saying yes and smashing it.

Studio Albums: Fantômas: Actually, I initially rated this one lowest, but it's growing on me after a few listens. I'd probably put this one and The Director's Cut in a tie, but still under Suspended Animation. With a couple more run-throughs, it might rise to clear second. It doesn't make sense with anything except TDC to talk about tracks, right? I do like how convincing it is as a soundtrack, and I love when Mike sounds like he's truly descending from outer space, only to land on the power lines. The Director's Cut: Would it help if I actually knew the originals? I did have to listen to this one also a few times to get into it, and I have to admit, I like that it has songs. Rosemary's Baby IS really good. And I have a soft spot for Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. Spider Baby is silly - do I like it? I dunno. Delìrivm Còrdia: Suspended Animation:

#5 Dead Cross -

[c0rpsedemon]

Same anon as bwfore - those are all valid hnoc complaints, i have a soft spot for it since it got me into arthuriana which is now a big special interest (also yk, the thing of making ur own Canon for a media piece in ur head that no one else knows abt)

Appologies for yelling in ur asks abt it, just trying to say I agree

Also sending asks so u can ramble abt ur gripes w hnoc if u wish (no pressure to)

yeah i Used to have the same perspective on it too but as time went on and i developed a stronger aversion to the mechs fandom (everyone say thanks to ts teeth hcs, dr c mischaracterization and any other piece of widely accepted fanon which ppl get weirdly overprotective of) + realized that hnoc Wasn't my actual introduction to arthuriana (shout out to dragon slayer's academy and this niche little vn which i pretended to have read for weeb clout when i was ~12 even though really i had just read the summary of it on a fandom wiki, it was called destiny/leave day or something like that?) an i'd just somehow forgotten about its predecessors + tried to fit my arthurian faves into hnoc-verse and realized that it just Didn't Work and realized just how bad it was in comparison to like. udad. which was soooo good and it just kinda. made me go a little bit insane and tanked my opinion of it. also my growing hatred of a/g/l due to med lit fandom drama (< bizzare series of words that Sure Does Exist) + modern arthuriana like in general probably fanned the flames.

anyways. i said almost everything i have to say about hnoc in the og tags (save for some parts that are less a hnoc issue and more of a discussion of th white/mzb/modern arthuriana in general or a frantic explanation of why it's ok when fate does it but when hnoc does it i'm mad and it's not hypocritical of me (< generally it boils down to 'arthurian lit is incredibly inaccessible to english speakers in 2023, imagine what it would've been like to japanese speakers in 2004, nasu did the best he could, meanwhile the mechs have demonstrated the ability to heavily research their albums and are english speakers who would've had university access (p much the only way to read anything other than le morte or sgatgk legally without breaking the bank) at the time they were working on it')) but i got cut off so i'll add a basic summary of the tags which tumblr couldn't handle bc my arthurian takes r 2 complex and well-thought out for it

basically re: "#and idk it just rings hollow to me for the adaptation which made all/most of its characters either lgbt or poc to have written out p much#all the arthurian characters who were originally poc (palomydes. priamus. ysabelle. feirefiz. isolde of ireland. etc.)" there was a second part of that sentence which also pointed out how almost all the academically/historically substantiated lgbt characters (palomydes, tristan, gawaine, galehaut, lancelot, sebile, morgan, galahad) were cut out or unrecognizable (lancelot and galahad fall under the unrecognizable category).

i also had the character assassination of gawaine as it's own point, as it's just. particularly bad and one of the main reasons why i dislike hnoc, as well as the reason why hnoc's world is so hostile to p much Every other arthurian story bc he's basically the main character of medieval arthuriana and he's now. . obligatory disclaimer that i'm not opposed to gawaine as a villain bc god knows i'm a palomydes stan above all and anyone with a passing interest in the tristan tradition will know that gawaine is a fucking asshole an a horrible person but like. he didn't have to be fucking racist. medieval gawaine is an incredibly complex and deeply deeply flawed character and hnoc boiled that all down to 'racist' which is. one of the few things medieval gawaine is not. and so now all the characters and stories that orbit him are dead in the water bc why would anyone want to read about the cartoon racist.

in general all of the hnoc characters seem like they were written to serve the plot and the co-opted into being the nearest arthurian character. not a single one resembles themself at all. the best example i can think of is galahad (who's actually my fave hnoc character) who just isn't. galahad. medieval galahad is young and has been worshipped and dehumanized all his life, the very reason he was conceived was bc a prophecy said he would be good and pure and would achieve the holy grail, and so he was raised like a holy relic for one purpose and one alone, to the point where, when he finally tries to make a friend in le morte, literal angels intervene to remind him of his purpose, and ultimately he did succeed in that purpose! and when he did he had nothing else to do but end his own life. hnoc galahad is never dehumanized nor worshipped or even liked. hnoc galahad is viewed as a crazy person but a person nonetheless, and hnoc galahad genuinely wants the grail. the two are connected by name alone and it's the same w everyone else. medieval lancelot will always return to guinnevere, and she is the source of both his loyalty and sense of self, and he will destroy anything that poses a threat to her, hnoc lancelot genuinely cares abt camelot and uhm. human life. medieval mordred wasn't actually arthur's son in most texts and kinda just tagged along w his brothers' plans (particularly agravaine's) and ultimately took over camelot bc agravaine was dead and it was the next logical step to take considering all they'd done before, if you want something really interesting mordred-wise the alliterative morte gives him genre awareness but his lamentations of his fate are centered around the uhm. fratricide. and not arthur, hnoc mordred views arthur as his whole world which his Only brother gawaine is comparatively a footnote in, and has motivations which are truly his own. medieval guinn is politically savvy and stuck in a loveless marriage unable to fulfill her one purpose as queen (to have an heir) and thus centers herself around lancelot and his devotion to her to cope, hnoc guinn is a gunslinger. idrc enough abt arthur to analyze him but ultimately it's easy to see that These Are Not The Same Ppl in the way that like. myth orpheus, ulysses, narcissus etc. and udad orpheus, ulysses, narcissus etc. are. even in like. ouat(is) where the characters are Obviously Different People from their fairy tale counterparts, they exist in a form of commentary on their other selves, and the ouat(is) approach to characters is true for the prisoner of dorian gray + frankenstein as well. hnoc has no commentary on the original arthurian characters bc it Doesn't know who they are, the characters in hnoc are meant to be the arthurian characters in a different setting like in udad and tbi (the latter i can't speak on bc i don't norse myth and don't tbi). and it gets them wrong.

tl;dr uhm. the mecha arthurian vn that lives in my head wouldn't do this to me

[greenlikethesea]

So I see today's the Director's Cut Stravaganza so I come here TO ASK yall....

In "if you want him", Eddie mentions The Big Silence - that moment in which he and Steve stopped talking for a long while and was only broken by The Car Ride - and attributes it to 'life'. When we get Steve's point of view, though, he specifically states HE WENT NO CONTACT for six months because of an offhand comment Eddie made about whether Megan and him would have kids.

Gimme the DEETS, you wonderful creators! My theory is that Eddie's innocent comment poked a bruise in Steve's already failing marriage. His decision to cut him off came from the denial, from the "nope, ok, can't deal with this" on top of a lot or repression on how much Eddie's words and thoughts mean to Steve. The question affected him so much that he decided not to adress it and not adress the deeper issues that made him upset and instead cut his friend off as an easy fix to tide himself over. But I need DEETS anyway! I need the behind the scenes! What did Megan know of The Great Silence? Did Eddie suspect more of it than he let himself on? Did he repress, too, and ignore and passed it off as life in an attempt to move on? Did all that time without contact evidence to Steve himself the really big longing he had to Eddie - to see him driving hours just to help them out without question, to have him finally within reach and with no grudges for the first time in months?

ami, you beautiful soul you, we love you SO much in the house of ithilien verse!!! (and elsewhere, of course)

@sparklyslug and i have talked a great deal about The Great Silence and you've basically hit the nail on the head with your assessment: eddie's comment REALLY strikes a nerve, and both of them are suffering from how raw and exposed this unintentional error made both of them feel. that conversation, in the timeline, takes place in february of 1998, and they do not speak again until early august. megan and steve's marriage is almost at the breaking point, both of them making a last ditch effort to really save stuff, but things are becoming abundantly more dire in steve's eyes and eddie asking that drives home what a failure he is, even though logically, he knows eddie did not mean it that way. and he's over the bulk of it in three days, but he just...keeps not talking to eddie, the same way eddie keeps not talking to him, because they're both scared to make that leap, to really get to the bottom of it. and it takes a truly desperate situation for steve to make that leap.

as for megan, she and steve are not really effectively communicating at this point, so we don't think she's as hyper-aware of this conflict in the way that she would have been, say, six or seven years ago. this is late stage harrington marriage, not early stage -- they're struggling to like each other most of the time, to exist in the same space in lukewarm temperatures as opposed to ice cold. she's just trying to make this marriage work for her, because she's trying not to feel like a failure as well -- the hills have been happily married since they graduated college, and her sister erin is also happily married with two beautiful daughters, so why can't she be?

[identityarchitect]

Alright! Enjoy your dinner :-]

And hm!! I guess starfallverse! I'm a sucker for good fantasy settings

- 🐩

stuff under the cut cus its Long

(edit 27/04/2023 tons of the stuff in here is *way* outdated go here for up to date info)

OK starfallverse.

there Is magic. there are two types of magic: weak magic and strong magic.

weak magic uses magic to influence & affect the mundane. strong magic uses magic to influence & affect the magical.

i.e weak fire magic would be igniting the air and controlling that. strong fire magic would be taking fire from the plane of fire, or using a fire sprite.

mages have a tendency towards weak magic & wizards have a tendency towards strong magic. royal courts tend to employ mages due to weak magic being easier to control.

wizards are often solitary and move their dwelling a lot, including often hiding it in extraplanary spaces mages are often social and stay in one place, usually with other mages

wizards share their secrets carefully to a select few - often other wizards they're close with, spirits and sprites and nonhumans seeking guidance, and/or an apprentice mages are open about magic, & mage schools take on new students consistently

wizards tend to conform to ideas passed down through the lineage of wizard -> apprentice (apprentice becomes a wizard and repeats it with their own apprentice) this is why the task of writing down what a wizard learns & knows is very important; if that wizard dies that's often millenia or centures of magic dead

mages often have similar ideas of what magic is & tend to be kind of snobby about it. they dont really think wizards are real magicians.

a wizard's apprentice will often use their teacher's name once they've become a wizard themselves.

magic comes from the stars. extra-terrestrial objects are the only things with souls. dont ask me what that implies cus idk.

not everyone can do magic & certain constellations are related to certain kinds of magic, so your star sign is Very important in this 'verse and goes beyond the 12 signs we have.

that's basically all of the background. it's set in a kingdom called Cuitera (sweet-era).

so . yeah. oh also potions exist & are their own separate form of magic, mixing different ingredients together. the ingredients themselves are magical. i.e a fish born in magical water will grow into a particular species of magical fish rather than the species of its parents. a plant that grows in magical ground will become a species of magical plant rather than what it was supposed to be. etc.

now that you've got the whole background lore dump, its time to introduce our first character!

her name is renée di. it's a play on the word remedy, because she makes potions and remedies. she also did healing magic.

did you notice the past tense? wondering what that's about? well lemme tell you my friend

imagine the world is a snow globe, and all of the stars are little tiny glowing drops of water on the outside of that snow globe.

now imagine the stars dripping off.

that's what happened.

so the stars are completely gone now, and with them, so is magic - well, weak magic is possible, but it's Difficult. it leaves people shaking. the single instance of someone performing strong magic was done by The Wizard Graceira, and he's in a coma now.

renée takes to the road - she knows how to survive in the wilderness. other people might not, and they'll be desparate for any aid others can provide. she can provide potions.

ok, so- magic was used for basically everything electricity is used for right now, save for like, living beings powering their bodies. this isn't like a full scale power outage. this is like if electricity just stopped existing. magic used as life support? gone. magic used to heat homes? gone. magic used to stop crops from failing? gone. magic used to keep meat fresh? gone. magic used to power vital infrastructure? gone. this is, like. a catastrophe. people are dying.

renée's headed to the capital to offer her services to queen ida. they're a lil homoerotic, and then the queen asks her to investigate a group called les fils du soleil - the sons of the sun. they're a cult dedicated to the sun, claiming the sun gave them magic.

oh, yeah. the sun can't give people magic, because it isn't a star. again, don't ask me what that implies. i haven't figured out what it actually is yet.

specifically, the queen wants a couple pieces of information from a woman named sunflower.

sunflower isn't the cult's leader, but she's their messiah. she's meant to be the sun's daughter - like directly, not in a metaphorical way like the rest of the cult claims. the leader is some old guy that i haven't thought too hard about yet.

sunflower is cruel. she's like jude perry if jude perry were like three times as cruel and was in agnes' role instead of agnes. she's also very powerful. she keeps implying that ida is manipulating renée into doing something, but it's entirely possible she's just doing that to make renée nervous and question the queen to do something sunflower wants her to.

somehow, via Shenanigans and Plot Necessities, sunflower and renée end up somewhere very far away in the middle of nowhere. renée is the only one who knows how to survive in the wilderness so they stick together and slowly learn how to get along. hooray!

also they're definitely gay for each other but they refuse to actually be gay for each other.

now, before she even set off towards the capital, renée gained a companion. a little spider had settled itself on her (now magically defunct) staff, and made itself at home. she decided to keep it.

this spider is Not a normal spider tho !! he's an asteroid that got reincarnated into a spider. like i said, only extra-terrestrial objects (excluding the sun) have souls, and thus they're the only ones that can get reincarnated. objectively, he's the only sane one of the three (renée, him and sunflower) - and the only one who can do legitimate magic, instead of the weird sun magic that sunflower can do.

that's about all the plot i've got. but there are a couple people i need to introduce.

solomon is The Wizard Graceira's apprentice. he ran away from an abusive home to learn magic, and blames hismelf for the wizard's coma. he's dedicated himself to writing out grace's teachings, and is very snippy. he gives zero fucks. he's also pretty powerful.

the hag is actually an average looking woman, but she does strange magic, and bargains for expensive things. many people owe her, but ceros, a reincarnated star from the monoceros constellation in the form of a young man; he owes the hag a significant portion of his soul. he's very carefree, but trusts nobody. not even himself.

aaaand yeah! if u have any questions lmk :D

[angywritesstuff]

Then I met you- Part 1

Summery: your life as never been easy until you met him.

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader/ Matt Casey & Reader

*not my gif*

You opened the house door with a loud bang scaring Matt that was focused on drinking his coffee.

He wasn’t a morning person unlike what everyone else thought, he needed his morning coffee like he needed air and he needed to drink it in total silence, not even a “Good morning” before his coffee. But today you didn’t care.

“Hmmm what got you so happy this morning, it’s like 7 am. Where were you” Matt eyed you suspiciously

“There was mail” - you smile while showing the mail - “guess who is a licensed paramedic?”

You grinned proudly; Matt looked perplexed for a second, sign that he hadn’t had the right amount of coffee yet.

“Wait you got your license? Oh my god, Y/N I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it”

He hugged you so tightly you almost couldn’t breathe, his hugs had always been so warm. One thing was sure Matthew Casey gave the best hugs in the world.

“Did they assign you yet? Because we don’t have a permanent one since Foster left. I could speak to Boden, I’m sure-“

“Matt, they gave me 51 already, but” -you knew he was going to be excited, he had wanted you at his house since you told him you wanted to get certified. You weren’t so sure on the other hand

“This is going to be amazing, everyone is going to love you, I’m sure”- he was so happy and you didn’t want to spoil it for him, you really didn’t but...

“Matt I don’t think this is a good idea”- you said while nail biting. There you go.... he wasn’t smiling anymore and you hated yourself for it.

“Why not? It’ll be amazing, I’ll be able to see you more this way, if you go to work in another house we won’t get that much time together”

He wanted you to change your mind, you knew this conversation was going to happen as soon as you saw what firehouse they gave you.

“Working together... Matt I don’t know, people will think I got the spot at 51 because of you. And beside... you’ll be my captain, wouldn’t it be weird”

The one thing you were sure was that you couldn’t lose Matt. The mere idea terrified you.

“Then we don’t tell anyone, I can even pretend I don’t know you if you want”

He was so adamant to have you there and you didn’t think you could have said no for much longer.

“Really?”- you said while smiling at him.

“Of course, whatever you need”- Matt stroke your cheek before wrapping his arms around you.

This was where you felt safe: in Matt’s arms, while he kissed your head... this was your safe space.

Your life has never been easy and then you met Matt Casey.

He had never asked you for anything, always ready to help you, to give you whatever you need.

And you knew that his insistence to have you at his firehouse was not only because 51 was the best, but also because 51 was his house and he would have been able to make sure you were safe.

He had never asked you for anything but he was asking for this now. So you couldn’t say no.

“Ok then Captain Casey”

His smile was like sunshine

“Welcome to 51 Y/N Morgan... let’s go to work then?”

“Separately...” you warn him

“That’s not very environment friendly” he smirked knowing he got you, even before your answer.

“Fine... but you leave me a few blocks away”

“Deal!”

You were so scared but you couldn’t wait to go to work at the same time.

While walking the few blocks from the firehouse, you couldn’t stop thinking about your first day: how was your first call going to be? Would you be up to it? You didn’t want to disappoint anyone and in particular you didn’t want to disappoint Matt. would everyone really welcome you with open armed?

No one knew you existed; you had never met them and this had been the reason of one of the few fights you’ve had with Matt: he wanted you to meet his friends, they were basically his family but you had never said yes. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, you were scared, scared they wouldn’t like you, scared that would ruin your relationship with Matt. You didn’t make friends easily, you were shy and needed a lot of time before opening up and people didn’t want to waste a lot of their time with you usually. So you said no.

Because you knew that if things didn’t go well with Casey’s friends it would come a time for Matt to choose and you knew he wouldn’t choose you. Nobody ever did.

You were at the firehouse and you couldn’t make yourself go in.

Did you make the right choice? Yo could still go back, tell the chief you weren’t feeling well and choose another house, a house that didn’t have the potential to destroy the relationship with the only persone that was still in your corner.

You were ready to leave when someone stopped you.

“You must be the new paramedic”- said a blonde girl, while smiling. She seemed nice.

“Yeah that’s me. I’m Y/N Morgan”

“I’m Sylvie Brett, I’m with you on ambo. Come, I’ll introduce you to everyone else”

You followed her into the firehouse, your heart was in your mouth and all you could think about was making sure to avoid an anxiety attack. That would make a good first impression for sure.

“Guys this is our new paramedic, Y/N Morgan. Y/N this is everyone”- Sylvie said once in the common room.

“Hi everyone”- you felt like a kid during the first day of school.

“Y/N welcome to 51, I’m Chief Boden”- a tall man told you and you could have guessed he was the chief even if he hadn’t tell you, you could feel a sense of power and confidence coming off him -“I’m glad you choose our firehouse. This is my Captain Matt Casey and my two lieutenants Kelly Severide and Christopher Hermann; whatever you need let us know”

“Thank you chief”- you could feel a lot of eyes on you but only a pair of green one felt like they were burning you.

You look at lieutenant Severide for a second and he literally took your breath away: beautiful was the only word that could describe him. You decided not to linger on that thought, you knew you couldn’t.

You were ready to talk when...

-Ambulance 61 person I distress 703 Throop Street-

“Well it’s an early day I guess”- Sylvie said.

“Good luck”- told you Matt, you smiled, put your bag down and followed Brett, ‘an early day indeed’

“Ok, I know first days can be hard, so try to breath and I’m sure you’re gonna be amazing”- she was so nice you wanted to cry.

“Let’s hope so”- you took a deep breath and got out of the ambulance

“Hey over here”- a women called you

You followed her to the house where there was a little girl on the couch crying in pain.

“She’s throw up everything she ate and now she is lying over there”- said the mother

“Hey Kailey”- sai Brett before starting to look at the kid-“How long has she been like this?”- she asked

“A while”- answered the father

Sylvie looked at you -“Pupils are dilated, this isn’t a stomach each, she’s high”

“What type of candy did she eat?”- you asked, hoping Brett wouldn’t get mad you had spoken up

“I don’t know, regular stuff? Gummy bears, M&M”- it was clear the mother didn’t believe you

“She must have gotten into my stash “”- said the father

The girl cried in pain - “She’s seizing, drop one milligram of Versed”- told you Brett while the parents kept fighting

“One milligram of Versed”- you said before going near the kid

“Do you want me to do it?”- asked Brett

“No I can do it, hold her tightly “- you said while giving the dose

“So, how was our new recruit’s first call?”- asked Matt as soon as you and Brett were back at the firehouse

“It was ok”- you shrugged your shoulders avoiding Matt’s eyes

“She did good”- Sylvie said smiling

“I didn’t do much”

“I have ridden with paramedic that didn’t even know which one was the Versed believe me you did good”

“Thank you”- you could see Matt smiling out of the corner of your eye

“Beside we stopped at the grocery store before coming back, someone is cooking for us” - Sylvie squeezed your shoulder before going into the firehouse.

“So everything went ok?”-Matt asked once Sylvie was gone

“For now. Sylvie is nice”

“Yeah she is”- Matt smiled and you smirked

“Help me get the grocery inside?”- you asked

“Sure, what are you making?”

“Well now why should I tell you?”

“Because you love me”- he said

“Meh, I wouldn’t be so sure”- you said laughing

“You’re so mean, I’ll remember this when-“

“Do you need help”- someone interrupted Matt

Lieutenant Severide was a few steps behind you two, his hands in his squad jacket, shoulder resting on the truck. You didn’t know if he heard you and Matt and you weren’t even sure how to feel if he did. You knew he was Matt’s best friend, Matt talked a lot about him and you knew he was the one Matt had the most trouble keeping secrets from.

“Lieutenant”- you said smiling and you were sure your cheeks were red. Great!

“No formalities, you can call me Severide”- fuck if he didn’t have a great smile too... you were in so much trouble

Forgive me if there are mistakes, English is not my first language and I didn’t have the time to edit this for now but I wanted to post it and give it a shot.

[transsexualhamlet]

asmr i psychoanalyze hide for fun

a lot of these are just stupid headcanons but a lot are also how i feel that’s just the way he is so

I know no one will read this it’s so very long but hello he’s my comfort character

(the words are under the cut bc THERE ARE SO MANY WORDS)

thoughts: It’s funny because most of the characters that I really love are just fucking idiots. So stupid. No thoughts head empty. And like at first glance you’d think the same with Hide, he’s got the look of a real dumbass, but he’s actually a really smart person? He just kind of, hides it. He did say he was like allergic to books once (it’s the adhd, king) but that doesn’t change the fact that he emotionally is actually a very intelligent person. It’s something he’s humble about because I don’t believe he really identifies with the intellectual crowd or sees himself as particularly above average, he just finds it easy to understand things. And he doesn’t ever use it for his own advantage even when it would be totally fine to do so, he pretty much always uses it to help other people and I think he believes if he used his strengths to help himself it would be, like, selfish. Which is a problem of his.

gemder n brand of gay: A lot of people in yonder Fandom like to see kaneki as bi and hide as gay but nah fam you’re off. Honestly I do not care about his Date With Rize in the slightest, that man is a homosexual. Hide is the bi one. (it’s not like this is a requirement or anything lmao i am just Saying also i’m bi and i’m projecting) I can also say with confidence that date with Rize was the only date Kaneki’s ever been on and he was definitely lying to himself. (i just, don’t know how you could look at Haise specifically and for one second think he has ever seen a boob) Hide’s the one who’s probably dated people before and he actually knows what’s attractive, he probably just doesn’t discuss that a lot with Kaneki since the bitch is Closeted and hide knows this. It’s funny because Hide canonically has two dads. Like I think that kind of explains him tbh. Bitch has good parents??? He’s the only one but we love him for it. U know Kaneki spent more of his life at Hide’s house than his own.

And as to gender, like obviously hide’s a guy, but i think he’s one of the few cisgenders who could like... tell you why. He’s well versed in those kinds of issues and has just thought about it a lot I guess? He’s comfortable in his skin and with a conventionally masculine appearance but he could tell you what Boy TM means other than yo macho man dude bro guy

personality type- ENFP-T: I took the fucking test for him and it was like... so easy. Took me ten minutes. 

basically what this means is it just calls him out as a fucken loud ass sunshine boy who has very many emotion and cares way too much about his friend

love how this part of the description describes kaneki and hide perfectly

biggest strength: he’s so good at helping people?? Like I can honestly say if some random person started rambling about their relationship issues to him I’d give him 10 minutes before he had a perfect solution, he had the person crying and being comforted in just the right way. He’s the perfect medium of confident and caring and he’s not just a fucking ray of sunshine on accident, he’s like, mob psycho 100 style actively working to be nice and compassionate. He’s very aware of how his actions affect people and he always knows just the right thing to say, what to do, when to just let things go or when to say them. And Hide will forgive, literally anything, even if someone does something really shitty to him he’ll realize it’s the product of like, unresolved mental issues or something and seek to fix it instead of cutting the person off. It’s... really good for everyone around him. But well,,, not great for him, see below.

biggest weakness: bitch does nOT leave room for himself. Although he is generally a confident person and isn’t very insecure, he knows he’s giving too much of himself and simply ‘pretend i do not see it but in reality i do’. He’s never put himself first and feels more worthy when he makes someone else happy, and it’s really not that visible but it can take a pretty big toll on him. He’ll feel anger and frustration for his problems but eventually he will end up blaming himself for anything that goes wrong and will just resolve to Try Harder. (which, mood) He does problem solve well and he tries to come up with the best solutions to issues but the fact is he just does not prioritize his own happiness within those solutions. He gives too much and it’s fucking killing him.

what he likes most about himself: Although he does have issues obviously, I don’t see Hide as someone who has particularly low esteem of himself. I think he pretty much thinks he has himself figured out and therefore other people’s problems come first. He generally does, think fondly of himself, because most of the time he can fix people’s problems so he’s yknow, a good person. I think he likes his ability to enjoy life and live in the moment, and he likes his connections and friendships with other people. He values emotional connection and he likes that he can easily create and enjoy good vibes. He loves being the one who everyone just... goes to for a good time.

favorite things: I think I heard somewhere that he enjoys dumb american bands without really understanding what they’re saying which seems very on brand for him, but I’m gonna perscribe him some other stuff too. Obviously he likes bright colors and comic books, and places where he can have fun with other people. He generally likes college, even though it’s like, school, and unlike kaneki he actually had a good childhood and he enjoys the places he spent time and formed good memories, he has Nostalgia TM (see unbelievable by owl city hmmm he vibes to that he was born in 1996 or something right i can’t google things) he also just really likes to just, fix other people’s problems but we’ve covered that. 

what he’s doing right and what he’s doing wrong: Hide is doing his best. He’s no less flawed than any of the other characters in tokyo ghoul, it’s just that his strategies tend to involve 100% less murder. Ok no, let me rephrase that, Hide is flawed, but i meant like emotionally, he’s not a war criminal like everyone else. He may seem at first glance like, just, perfect? Sorry for being a simp lmao but I feel like from the outside he’s just got it all together right? He knows what he’s doing and he’s super nice and helpful and smart and humble and just doesn’t have any visible flaws? He... tends to hide any evidence that he would ever be struggling. And that’s not very sexy of him. He feels it would be a burden on others to show pain or ever say he can’t take something on (if someone asked him to do something he’d do it even if he was already mentally at capacity etc) and that’s something he needs to work on. The good thing is that if they got to a point where after Kaneki’s Character Development they got to just... like, be happy and not be separated and everything Kaneki would be good for him because he compliments that. Hide helps him because he needs a lot of like, mental counseling lmao but now that Kaneki’s gone through a lot of that his eyes have been opened more to the fact that Hide hides his problems from Kaneki so if they could just bE HAPPY this is an issue that could be resolved

insecurities: I think Hide kind of believes he’s not allowed to be sad. Cause it’s like, not his job. He’s the source of happiness for everyone else, supposed to have everything together so he can fix everyone else’s problems. he’s not allowed to be in pain or feel bad for himself even though he knows “Boys Can Cry” it’s like, yes boys can cry, not me tho haha lmao it’s not about his masculinity it’s just he’s like “yeah but kaneki’s had it worse” so like if he finds himself in a bad place, he feels inadequate and like... fundametally broken. and it’s. Like. I felt that but also like king that’s not how it works

goal in life: I think he wouldn’t really be able to answer that question. What the truth would be is that he probably wants to do something grand and important that helps a lot of people and kind of changes the world. But he might not really think of it that way, since he’s usually focused more on smaller more isolated issues and he has no idea what he wants to do as a career. He admires activists and people who put themselves at risk but it probably makes him feel inferior that someone else is Doing Something About This Big Problem and he’s just sitting there riding around on his bisexual bike and being in college. (I’d like to say he’s probably changed majors at least a few times,,, that man was like “oh yeah lmao i’m gonna be a comic book artist” but someone said something about how he’s a good therapist and he’s like “brb kinshift i am now a psychology major” lmao.) (hello i am projecting but i’m right) He sees a tumblr post about some issue somewhere and he hyperfixates on it for days until he sees another post about something worse it’s an issue. But I think what he ended up doing was what he wanted to, even if he never recieved any recognition for it the internal sense that he was doing something Right TM in the eyes of history would probably make him cry

how he was raised: I can’t really say much to this because there’s barely any canon on this and the canon that does exist I have completely ignored other than the fact that he has two dads. Bro tbh? He didn’t need any tragic emo backstory I think he had a great childhood. Honestly he’s probably a rich kid. Not super rich but he’s not struggling man. Not gonna lie to you I think the only reason he went to Kamii was because he wanted to be at the same college as Kaneki who probably got a scholarship. Hide, didn’t. (it’s not like he’s not intelligent but I don’t really think that his grades are his biggest priority, the only time he ever pays attention in class is to give kaneki the answers when he’s gone) 

What irks me about the random lore drop in the last chapter about him having a CCG dad that died or whatever- it kind of ruins the whole point for me. Personally I choose to believe he had nothing whatsoever to do with ghouls or the ccg before all that happened to Kaneki. He probably had correct opinions on them, but only like, in theory, it’s like straight people that are like “yeah ofc gay ppl valid” but they’ve never really had any personal experience with any. So when he gets involved in that- the fact is that the only reason he was... was bc of kaneki. It was never more complicated than that to me. YKNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST, NICE, OK? 

And I think for me that the fact that he could actively choose to be nice and be aware of all these problems when he’s practically got every advantage in life is a lot more important. He didn’t have to be poor or have a dead parent or have a shitty childhood for him to be really genuinely good. I don’t think he’s ever been bullied or anything, but he can still be aware that it sucks to be bullied. I think he was just... raised right. I think his dads are probably pretty fucking baller for him to be such a bro. They taught him the right shit.

General philosophy: Hide is one of the only people in the series for whom the dynamics of right and wrong are not hard to understand. He’s never been required to pick up a weapon or actually truly fight in the CCG, he’s never been really mean to anyone. Of course I can say he’s probably decked a few ppl that made fun of Kaneki in middle school, but haven’t we all. The thing is that though he’s never suffered at the hands of others, everything that’s hurt him he’s gone in fully consenting to it- he can still understand and forgive what everyone else has done. Like bro he’s the literal only one around who’s not like a literal war criminal, but he’s not going to think he’s better because of it, because he understands that if he had been in their circumstances he couldn’t say how he would have turned out. 

That’s why I think it’s so important that he never really had a bad childhood- he’s not better than them for turning out without any blood on his hands, because he was never required to. And he knows that and he goes through every day with all these people who have and is conscious of it. He can’t ever say he’s incapable of hurting other people, because he would have said that about Kaneki before all of it happened. So he’s quite politically correct compared to Kaneki and the others but he doesn’t see things that way.

relationship bullshit: i mean bro i know this is a serious post about like psychological and emotional things but i felt the need to discuss whY does everyone write hide as a bottom I mean like sure he’d bottom if his partner was a top but this is simply not the case with kaneki look at him. Hide. Service top. I rest my case. The man’s the biggest switch ever but when he’s a top he’s a nice top. I think Kaneki needs that to be perfectly honest. He really likes to take care of people. Also kind of off topic but his love language is quality time he just wants to play video games wit da homies and he might fall in love a bit

I find it genuinely funny how much i cannot get away from the tentacle porn on the god forsaken archive of our own just looking at the tags i already know it’s so out of character haitoheoihesdsdsa and don’t get me started on the vore

how kaneki sees him vs how he actually is: One of the biggest problems in kaneki and hide’s relationship is how in the beginning, Kaneki didn’t really understand at all that Hide could be hiding anything from him. Kaneki’s not good at picking up clues like that in general, but the fact that he was hiding so much himself didn’t help at all. Hide gives off the vibe of someone who has no inhibitions and shows every side of himself without hesitation, and Kaneki really does idolize that. He didn’t realize that Hide could possibly be suffering or imperfect compared to his vision. He sees Hide as practically an angel, and that’s exactly how Hide wants Kaneki to see him, because he doesn’t want to burden Kaneki with his own problems since he believes they’re not as important and they would make Kaneki sad. Kaneki knew Hide wasn’t as oblivious as he seemed, but he didn’t really understand what that meant until too late. The good thing about Kaneki’s character development though is that it then helps Kaneki understand that Hide was suffering because of him and he didn’t want Hide to hide it anymore (lmao). If they’d only executed that point well that could have been really good but well that’s what fanfic is for

how he sees kaneki vs how kaneki actually is: This one’s a lot more difficult, because well. Hide’s very good at knowing exactly how people are in their hearts, compared to Kaneki. But there are definitely some things that he’s not super up on. He wasn’t around for a lot of Kaneki’s development, so most of the time I think he still believes Kaneki doesn’t want to see his pain, which is, simply incorrect, Kaneki would obviously not be happy to hear it but it would tear him up inside to realize he’s been oblivious to it the whole time. He’s grown a lot more mature since he spent most of his time with Hide, and I really think Hide could benefit from being able to open up to Kaneki the way he is now. And well. I think his biggest misconception has to be that Kaneki enjoyed women lmao

the most him thing i’ve ever done: listening to a happy upbeat song and visibly bopping while also uncontrollably sobbing

miscellaneous headcanons: 

-he’s a morning person lmao. Motherfucker gets up at 6 AM and Kaneki is like PL EA SE NO

-what he finds attractive is like. twinks and girls with hair in colors that don’t exist and ppl who don’t know what gender is

-He likes Imagine Dragons lmao you can see by the next point

-his coping mechanisms are mostly music and other people tbh he’s like “oh i am having emotions? disgusting” *goes to a party*

-he plays dnd and he mains a warlock i don’t make the rules

-he doesn’t look like someone who would do that shit but he probably knows how to use tarot cards

-idk how but that motherfucker is so neurodivergent i can smell the hyperempathy on him look at that man he has so much adhd

-he’s fully aware that his fashion sense is terrible and continues to wear more and more ridiculous clothes to piss kaneki off

-this man has tungle dot fuck. Look at him. His url is probably something along the lines of my ao3 username lmao

-he can see the forbidden shrimp colors smh

-this bitch likes mob psycho 100 and the promised neverland, kaneki keeps telling him to watch death note and he’s just like n   o hhsdfhhfdshdfshdfs he probably kins tpn emma

-he doesn’t know how to drive lmao he bikes everywhere and he lives in tokyo

-i am once again thinking about how he was in a play with kaneki and kaneki was the main character and he was the spicy side character that’s not a headcanon just. that

songs that are, him: 

-Stand By You (Rachel Platten)

-Luck (American Authors)

-Love (Imagine Dragons)

-If I Lose Myself (One Republic)

-Stardust (New Politics)

-Secrets (also one republic)

-Flaws (Bastille)

-100 Bad Days (AJR)

-I Lived (another one republic lmao)

-Battle Scars (Paradise Fears)

-Rise Up (Imagine Dragons)

yeah he definitely listens to this shit lmao

[officialwittek]

pt. 5

*texts are fake, but these are mine* 

word count: 1,966

I have to be dreaming right? There’s no way on god’s green earth that he knows. I can’t believe he heard our conversation. I want to die in a hole. I look at the time and it’s nearly 3:00am. so I can’t call my friends since they’re all asleep. I toss and turn for what feels like years before slowly drifting to sleep

--

*the next day*

The rest of the girls decided to join us for lunch as well, I quickly get dressed and knock on Carly’s door to let her know that I’m ready. She comes out almost immediately and we both head to the restaurant in my car. I can tell she knows something is wrong, but she doesn’t ask the entire ride. We spot our other friends in a corner booth in the back and make our way over. We make small talk and lay out our schedules for the day.

“So... Sage, what happened last night?” Natalie asks, a concerned look on her face, our friends look at her in confusion

“Todd got a call from Jeff at like three in the morning. Is everything ok?” she repeats, I make a face and that’s all they need to know

“Oh my god, he knows doesn’t he..” Erin asks, I nod and feel tears welling in my eyes

“Yea.. it fucking sucks man. He basically told me that he only sees me as a friend and that he’s not over his fucking ex-girlfriend who only used him.. And it’s not like we were dating but I was so.. so in love with him” I reply, letting the tears fall as Corinna rubbed my shoulders and my other friends grabbed my hands

“And now I’m afraid things are going to be awkward when we all hang out together. I never ever wanted that, I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to chose between us like children during their parents divorce” I cry, letting all my emotions out, I’ve never been more thankful that we chose a small, quiet restaurant where we’re the only people here

“No, come on. I’m sure if you explain the situation to everyone they would totally understand” Carly explained, the other girls nodding in agreement

“I can’t.. I can’t explain to them. I don’t know how to put it into words and I don’t want them to be mad at Jeff. He’s their friend too and I know how protective everyone can be at times” I rant, they all nod along, their eyebrows furrowed as they think of something else

“Well, to be honest none of us had anything to do today. Why don’t we go back to your apartment and have another girl’s day? Get your mind off things and we’ll get all the takeout and listen to sad music” Erin suggests, I nod and ask Nat to text Mariah

After lunch we head back to the apartment. I feel like 1:00 pm. is an appropriate time to have some vodka right? I mean it’s 5:00 somewhere. I grab the bottle of Titos from my cabinet and pour it into a cup with some sprite and a lime. I made some for the girls and they all took a glass. We browse through Netflix and choose some Disney movies to watch. We started with the Princess and the Frog.

Four movies later and my phone started buzzing. Matt and Zane were asking where we all were because they were bored and David was busy editing and doing other work. I decided to let them come because they were like one of the girls. They showed up with Mariah and more alcohol.

“So baby what happened?” Mariah asks, I told her I wanted to wait until I could tell her in person

I explained the situation to the three of them, Mariah was incredibly irritated at Jeff, Matt and Zane were also pretty upset as well. I also explained how I didn’t want to make things awkward for everyone in the group and they shouldn’t have to feel like they have to choose between the two of us.

We ordered food for everyone and made more drinks. Out of no where Heath came by with Jason and Toddy. I hoped and prayed Jeff wouldn’t show up, not only because I’m heartbroken but because of the embarrassment I would have to feel.

An hour later everyone was pretty drunk except for Jason, Carly, and Erin who decided to stay sober for everyone who will probably need a ride home later. We were all laughing and having a great time, David hauled ass over here when he heard Zane and I were drunk.

“Oh fuck I forgot Ilya is landing in like an hour, who wants to come with me to pick him up?” David asks, Natalie and I raise our hands while everyone decides to stay back and just wait for us

The car ride over was us loudly singing along to David’s music. I brought some alcohol with me since I needed to escape and I know Ilya wants to turn the fuck up.

“Daddy Ilya” I yell, trying to catch his attention, David and Natalie groan from behind me at the horrible nickname

Ilya quickly runs to the Tesla and hops into the passenger seat. We drove back to my apartment while David filmed Ilya in the front drinking the rest of my vodka. Natalie grabs my arm and points the familiar truck in the garage...

... Who the fuck invited Jeff...

“What’s wrong princess peach?” Ilya asks, noticing that I was still in the Tesla

Natalie pulled the two guys away and explained as best as she could and as fast as she could. David and Ilya nodded their heads and walked over to me. I had shaken off my rush of anxiety while they were talking. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m upset with him for rejecting me or if I’m upset that he shows up to my apartment and will either pretend I don’t exist or pretend like nothing happened.

“Fuck it. Ilya, it’s your job to make me drunk as hell. Gimme” I said, taking the bottle from him and chugging the rest and using some leftover Red Bull

I unlock the door and step inside. Todd, Jeff, and Zane are in the living room talking... well Zane isn’t really talking and to be fair I don’t really know if he’s in this realm right now. The girls and Matt are all standing in the kitchen, giving Jeff side glares and talking in hushed voices. I close the door loudly to get everyone’s attention. They all turn to me and burst into smiles when the notice Ilya. They all greet him and I walk over to the side, grabbing a cup and making myself another drink.

“Shots for the boy” Todd yells, we all gather in the kitchen and I make sure to stand as far away from Jeff as possible, 90% out of embarrassment and 10% out of annoyance and anxiety

The ones who were drinking take shots and we all start catching up with Ilya. He’s telling us stories about work, and things he’s done with Deema. After a few minutes of catching up, the boys went to the parking lot to film some bits in David’s car. The girls gave me THE look and we went to my room and locked the door. Suzy listened while also keeping an ear out for them so there isn’t a repeat of the other night.

“I love Jeff, he’s one of my good friends.. but what the fuck was his thought process before coming here?” Carly asked, annoyed that not even 24 hours after he rejects me he shows up to my place

“Guys, it’s ok. I know this was supposed to be girls night but it turned into a hangout with everyone. And I’ll get over this eventually, I’ll be fine” I say, the room goes silent, even Suzy knows I’m definitely bullshitting

“I know you’re trying to make yourself feel better and trying to comfort us so we don’t worry about you. But babe... before lunch we didn’t know you were in LOVE love with him. Sure he didn’t know about your feelings, but at the same time I think a part of him had to know that the flirtationship between the two of you would’ve ended with someone catching feelings. It sucks that it has to be you. Please just allow yourself to be honest about how you feel. It sucks, but the sooner you confront your emotions the sooner you can start healing” Natalie said, I stare at her with my mouth ajar

“That’s a whole bible verse baby” I reply, feeling a lot better with this girl time but Suzy gives us a signal that the boys are back

We go to the living room and joke around for a few more minutes. After that everyone packs their things, and right when I’m about to go back in my room to get ready for bed I noticed Jeff lingering around a little bit. I shrug it off and enter my room.

“Hey..” a voice says, I freeze and immediately feel all kinds of emotions rise up, just one word and I’m already sobering up

“What do you want Jeff?” I ask, turning around and seeing him slumped over in my doorway

“I just wanted to check in” he replies, I sigh and sit on my bed

“Listen, I know we’re still friends and I know we don’t want to make things awkward for everyone, but for the sake of me and what I need, I would please like some time away from you. I’m really sorry, but I need to heal, I didn’t just have some middle school crush on you man.” “You don’t need to explain anything to me Sage” Jeff cuts me off but I shake my head and pat the space next to me so he can sit

“I’m in love with you. I wrote songs about you, I started craving your touch, your attention. I still loved you at your worse. Believe me, I wanted to make a move but I had no guarantee that you were going to love me back. And now I know, at the end of the day I’ll never be her” I reply, Jeff immediately knew who I was talking about, Ava

Ava and Jeff were together for a few short months, but believe me when I say this was like walking through a dumpster fire on a unicycle that was also on fire. It was clear to everyone from the start that Ava was with him s imply because he was slowly gaining popularity and well... his looks. Long story short apparently they got into a huge fight one night and she admitted that she was only using him for her own gain. It was a touchy time for all of us and Jeff, we told him what we thought and eventually found out (through our fans on insta who are little detectives) and he didn’t want to hear it.

“I should go. I’ll give you your time..” he says quietly, I nod and walk him to the door

After he leaves I slide my back down the door and pull my knees to my chest. I just lost my best friend because I couldn’t keep my dumbass mouth shut. Emotions come rushing through me and I can’t help but cry. I want nothing more than to scream and just crawl into a hole right now. After letting myself accept the sadness I got up and went back to my room. It’s time for me to start moving on.. or at least trying to.