Tumgik
#ok stop (@ myself) i really must go
dr-gaytorius · 1 year
Text
so when i was a teen i was like, very alt, very punk, like eyeball-deep in the local music scene (this would continue for the next decade), i was NOT a scholar by any stretch and quite frankly hated academics. and my friend introduced me to this band and it ended up being one of my favorites for years.
well i was talking to my friend who's into a bad that was big back in that day and i was like ahhh yes.... i remember those days.... neon and crust and studded leather.... and i listed off some bands, and remembered that one i had liked for so long. i went and looked it up and spotted the album i remembered the most, and gave it a listen and well
Tumblr media
it would seem ive always been this way. apparently
#the older i get the more i realize that my life has been this strange paradoxical orobouros of self#one day i decided i would stop moulding myself to other's likings bc dulling my edges only helped those ppl hurt me#thus re-embracing a part of myself i'd learned to be ashamed of. and it was incredibly liberating#and then i realized it was my destiny to be a mortician#and i was sooooooooo afraid to tell ppl bc i was sure they'd be weirded out#but every person i told was like OHHHHH ok yes that makes complete sense. that's perfect#and the more i thought about it the more i was astonished it had taken me so long to figure that out lol#and realizing that i really am by nature a scientist has been really liberating too. i hate that my class bracket prevented me from#discovering that bc i was working all the time for a decade and had no time to explore myself or my interests or anything#and i honestly always thought i was stupid.... because of other people lol#and once i let go of other people's treatment of me as the lens through which i view myself#i realized#oh.... i'm a scary and smart little freak. huh#and i started living true-to-myself and it's been super fun and rewarding and ive never been happier#but like... i kept thinking. wow who could have ever seen this coming! this must seem like such a stark turn for the outside eye#like now that i finally recognize myself... others probably dont#and then i revisited this band and went#ah#no#im just oblivious#ive literally always been like that. even when i didn't know what it was or what it was like. just completely blind to a destiny that is no#SO crystal clear that it's changed how i see the world and myself and the way i live#crazy
2 notes · View notes
Text
Aw, hey C-PTSD trigger response, we thought you were dead.
6 notes · View notes
leadendeath · 3 months
Text
have u ever hurt urself from stimming while happy
0 notes
kindacreepy-kindaugly · 6 months
Text
It never gets any fucking easier does it
#bitch bout to do smth very stupid here#i've kept my distance for what already feels like forever n i really thought by now i'd be. at least on the way to functioning on my own#i can ignore it when i'm doin ok but the pull never goes away it's always there#then i get low n i just. can't think of a reason to fight it anymore#i feel like i got sold just another lie. that if i just stay strong n don't go back then i'll start learning how to live w/o him but#did anyone actually tell me that? did i just lie to myself? he makes me feel awful most of the time but if i feel awful anyway then why not#sometimes it helps for a moment or two#that's if he even wants me around anyway. could you go either way#cause i'm sick n weak n suicidal just the way he likes me but also he might be too focused on doll to feel like playin w/ me rn#i feel like everyone told me it'd get easier but maybe they didn't. or maybe i'm doin smth wrong.#honestly it might be my fault he's gettin worse again in the first place cause maybe he was right n i just need a villain in my life#someone to blame when everything's too hard#i guess i wouldn't know what to do w/ myself if he really changed like we supposedly want him to so.....#i hate how i'm realizing he was right about more n more things all the fucking time#i can't do this on my own. i need someone to go to someone i can rely on someone to hold me#others in this system got someone who actually cares about em n what do i get? fucking val#i try not to go there cause it's not healthy but lately it's been hard to convince myself this life isn't a punishment#hell was too cozy so they put me here instead. i don't deserve to be looked after. i only deserve to be used#i don't know what exactly it was i did that was so awful but. i can't make sense of it any other way#so there must be something. this is just me gettin my due.#why else would i have been made like this? wired wrong for this world in so many ways always needin too much#so stop bitching n whining about it n just take it like a good boy#i'm still a good boy if i rly put myself into it right?#spdrvent
0 notes
applepidotcom · 1 year
Text
Minecraft relaxing longplay to calm my racing heart and fragile heart
0 notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
What if I...
—You make a tempting, unexpected offer; how are they going to react?
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Nikolai, Fyodor, Sigma, Jouno X Fem!Reader
Warnings: Suggestive content, mentions of giving blowjobs (whether it'll happen or not is up to you lol), unstablished relationship (you're just friends, but are you..?), rushed writing
Genre: Humor
Format: Drabble
Word Count: 1.6K
Tumblr media
↳Osamu Dazai"
Listen y/n..." Dazai cooes at you. "I'm a little bit busy with... uh, work; so I don't think I'll be able to accompany you on this mission"
Shaking your head to the side with frustration, you bend a little on the desk, gazing into his Hazel eyes to show your desperation "Oh c'mon Dazai! You're not seriously gonna make me go to this tiresome mission by myself?! They're all politicians! It's gonna be boring as hell!"
The pile of paperwork on his desk are making you question your eyesight, but you know Dazai better than that. He probably saw it coming so he placed them there on purpose to prove his point.
...Not that it could exactly be called a "point".
"Listen..." Your voice is so low that only Dazai can hear it. "There must be some way for me to change your mind"
His expression doesn't change one bit, still looking through the documents for nothing, pretending to be occupied. "Sorry to burst your bubbles, but I really can't—"
"What if I suck your dick?"
Eyes shooting you a shocked gaze and hands staying still, it seems like he's completely lost interest in the paperwork. He's looking through your soul and the moment his lips start moving, you know you've won the battle.
"For... for real?" "Yes, for real"
The surprised face is all gone and instead, there's a totally new face now; a smug face of a man who's gonna team up with you for the mission and get a little prize in the end.
"So when do we leave?"
↳Chuuya Nakahara
"Listen Chuuya, with great looks comes great responsibility. There's a reason why you're this hot!"
The red-haired man looked away as an attempt to hide his flustered face, his voice still gravely. "Stop it y/n. I'm not gonna be your model for the photoshoot"
"Why not? You're the perfect choice!" "The answer's no! Get over it"
"Hmph! You're no fun" You crossed your arms and pouted as you leaned to the chair. You couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why was he so against being your model? You were just gonna take a few photos of him wearing casual clothes and maybe some light makeup. It was for your photography class and you were supposed to take a pic of somebody under the rays of sunset. With Chuuya's red hair and blue eyes, it would be a breath taking pic. He just looked so pretty under the sun.
As Chuuya took the bottle to sip from it, you found yourself desperate enough to give it one last shot.
"What if I suck your dick as a payment?"
And then the explosion happened. Chuuya's hand snapped, the bottle fell on the floor and drops of wine literally squirted out of his mouth. He was coughing so strongly that you rushed over and started hitting him in the back like he was some kind of ketchup bottle. His face was crimson red, but whether it was from choking or embarrassment, you couldn't really tell.
When he finally came down and caught his breath, he placed his hand on his chest and looked at you with eyes the same size as a baseball, meanwhile you looked at him miserably with the word "sorry" written all over your face.
"So... is that a yes?" "NO!"
Well, at least you nearly killed him.
↳Jouno Saigiku
"Ok I don't know why you're refusing. I'm just giving you the opportunity to make up for your mean attitude by doing something nice! You know, to go to heaven, like me and other nice people, Teccho for example"
Jouno was still expressionless. He merely sipped his cup of coffee and placed his hat on the table. "I appreciate the offer, but after a lifetime we definitely need a break from each other"
"Ugh you jerk! C'mon it's a piece of cake for you! You've arrested plenty of people before! You're smart, you're strong and I came to you for help which shows that I'm really desperate!"
Your relationship with Jouno was... questionable. He teased you, had a tendency to piss you off all the time, but somehow you were friends. The weirdest type of friendship that had ever existed, probably.
"I can see that. See I do wanna help you out, but I just love seeing the new you"
Shaking your head to the side, you leaned back to the couch. A hard case was given to you and you really didn't want to blow it up, but you needed help, and everyone else were busy. Except for your horrible friend here.
"Jouno, Jouno, Please..." You took his left, gloved hand. "I need you! I'll do anything in return! I'll team up with you and insult Teccho for a whole year! I'll write every one of your reports! I'll even suck your d—"
Jouno didn't hear your voice anymore. In fact, the only thing heard in the room was pure silence, and of course your heartbeat.
You were shocked.
He got his hand out of your grasp, placing it next to your head. His other hand found its way to your lips, softly caressing them. Meanwhile you didn't say a word, just stared at his handsome face and swallowed your saliva.
"Hypothetically, if I help you out, how far would you go to make it up to me?"
Forget about your friendship. You weren't that close anyway.
↳Fyodor Dostoevsky
"I'm going to go to my parents' with my boyfriend tonight"
"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend, dear" Fyodor tilted his head to the side to gaze at you.
"I don't! That's where you come in!"
Nikolai exchanged a look between your nervous expression and Fyodor's smile, and pouted. "Hey! Why didn't you ask me instead?"
"Yeah yeah, if I ever wanted to give them a heart attack you'd be the first person I'll go to" You sighed and looked back at Fyodor. "So? Would you please help me out?"
Fyodor was sitting next to you on a chair. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Ah... I'm not sure about that. Wouldn't it make our relationship awkward?"
"No! No not at all!" Your voice was rushed and shaky. "You see you're the perfect choice for this"
"Hmph!"
"Shut up Nikolai. I mean, you're tall, you know how to talk to people— in a satisfying way, ah, you know what I mean, you're handsome, you have very pretty hair, you have the most beautiful violet eyes I can stare at until forever..."
His brattish smirk made you shut up and give a few embarrassed coughs. Your flushed cheeks weren't exactly helping you out at the moment.
"Eh... So you're the best in many ways... Now, would you please help me out?"
Fyodor gave Nikolai-who was also smirking- a meaningful look, and his smirk got broader. "I will think about it"
"What's there to think about? You get to have a free dinner and also have a great time! My dad has the same taste in books as you! I'll even suck your dick at the end!"
You suddenly shut up and stared at the two men with eyes the same size as a racket ball. Now there was also two pare of knitted eyebrows along with the smirks. Nikolai's winking and muttering "Yeah baby" didn't help you loosen up at all.
Fyodor leaned closer until the phrase "personal space" lost its meaning, staring at you. His pretty eyes were sparkling, making it harder to steal your gaze from them. His voice was as gentle as the sea breeze, the perfect melody to caress your ears.
"So... I'll get to date the most beautiful girl in the world, spend a whole night with her and then get something afterwards?"
You were so drowned in your thoughts that you couldn't utter a single word. This moment was magical, making you wonder if he were going to seal your lips with his, totally forgetting about Nikolai's presence.
...Until he started talking.
"Do you guys want me to leave the room? Cause there's no way I'm doing that"
↳Nikolai Gogol
"...Which is why clowns are so fragile and have strong emotions!"
You shook your head with disappointment. "Yeah yeah, get it. But that doesn't answer my question"
"What was your question anyway?"
Ugh.
"Would you please babysit my cousins with me?"
"Hahaha! I remember now!" His face brightened with joy. "Well, no"
You leaned closer to him miserably. "Oh c'mon Kolya!"
"Sorry dove, I just don't get along with children. Not a fan"
"But they're triplets Kolya! I can't handle them on my own!" At this point you were literally begging. "Pretty please?"
"Triplets? Ha! Another reason for me to say no"
Well, that was it. You were going to be alone with your naughty cousins for four hours and then hand a burned house and probably only one of the boys back to your aunt because you lost the other two.
"Unless..."
Ah! There's still some hope left.
"You offer me something in return?"
Nikolai's face was dangerously close to yours. His smile was bright, but his intention didn't seem to be. Although that didn't scare you. It only made your body numb with excitement and through your clouded mind, you somehow put two and two together and blurted something out.
"Eh... What if.. What if I suck your di— Woah Nikolai what are you doing?"
A chuckle left his mouth as if something simple had happened, but this wasn't simple. He had just lifted you up and was carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.
"You took the hint all by yourself. How about that, my naughty dove?"
"K— Kolya! Where are you taking me?"
Your red cheeks only made his smile broader. "We're gonna get your clothes changed, go to your aunt's aweful house, babysit your horrible cousins, and then get ready for a night of fun"
↳Sigma
"So... How's the best manager in the world?"
Sigma's stare was still pointed at the documents. "I'm not planning a birthday party for your friend y/n"
"What are you talking about?" You smiled cunningly, lightly caressing his arm from the other side of the desk. "Can't I just compliment my incredible friend? Who happens to be an expert in planning and managing stuff?"
When you two first met, he used to get flustered by your flattering comments, but now Sigma's eyebrows only jumped in surprise. "You... can, but it won't change my mind"
"Pretty please?" Dropping the act, you got up from your seat and stood next to him, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. "I really need your help. I don't have a clue about this and you're the only one I know"
"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm caught up with work. You know that the casino is very busy this time of year, there's nothing I can do"
You sighed and sat on the chair again, desperately thinking about a way to convince him. What would make men do women a favor...
"What if I suck you dick?"
Sigma was still staring at the documents, which made you wonder if he had heard you, but his eyes were not the same. They were widened. He slowly lifted his head and looked at you like he was about to chop off his hand and stick it down his ass, and that made you finally realize it.
"Oh I forgot that you're three years old! I mean you haven't even hit puberty yet. Oops. My bad"
Yeah, Sigma needed new friends.
Tumblr media
All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.
Tag List:
@pussydrunkfyodor @h8kolya @exhausted-doll @rosasensibles @nekokinax @paperllama @the-foreigner @arsonklee @fayenfim @c4xcocoa @asqmi @blueberry-writer @ryokuryuu @ayladove @sinfullysophiastrange @sugarcherryemo @whossuzy @sigmazcasino @linn-a-a @uottani @ilovechuuyaa @ezraiix @aeshiiteiru @dreamcastgirl99 @bestiewhat
Want to be added to my bsd tag list?
6K notes · View notes
lidiasloca · 18 days
Note
Ok this one of my ideas not sure if I have actually read it before or if it was a fever dream. Az has a girlfriend/ mate that the inner circle hasn’t met before.she works with marja as a high and has maybe other powers I don’t know. I have 2x options in which to take this idea. 1. Azzy gets very hurt on a mission and his brought to you to fix him. Very emotional IC and reader. They save him blah blah. 2. Some of the healers are working on so far out town. Az was cutie and like don’t go. She was like boo you go all the time I going to help people. Love you be back soon. But while they are there they are kidnapped by someone ( you pick). Word gets back to Marja who tells Rhys and Az happens to be there. Az freaks out when he hears our name on the list of miss. Blah blah.
totally cool if you don’t wanna use. It is just an idea.
azriel being worried about you going on a mission
azriel x reader
fulff
a/n: i ain't really not for angst these days, so i only took the beginning of your second idea, hope u dont mind :)
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆
“You will not go,” Azriel sates, and his voice is so commanding and serious you stop in your tracks. 
“Azriel, we’ve been through this. I’m a healer. This is my job.”
“No, your job is to heal people being safe,” he explains as if you were stupid. You know he means well, but you are growing more irritated by the moment. “Your job is not putting your life in danger.”
“Well, saving lives in the middle of a war comes obviously with my life being in danger.”
Giving him your back, you continue packing all you need for the journey. You hear his footsteps getting closer, then his hand is on your back, gently stroking. “Y/N. Please,” and it sounds enough of a plea for you to turn and face him. 
“Azriel, you constantly put yourself in danger. Almost everyday I have to see you leave to work, with no assurance you will come back.”
His eyes drop to his feet in defeat. “I know, and I know it’s not fair for me to ask you this. But - I simply don’t care.” He watches you again, a spark of confidence and hope settles in his eyes. “I cannot risk loosing you, and the risk of loosing you is higher than yours is to lose me on a mission.” When he catches your frown, he adds, “You must give me this; I know how to defend myself better than you in the battlefield.”
You let out a soft chuckle, the seriousness of before fading a bit as a timid smile blooms on his face.
But your mind is made up. “Azriel,” you sigh. “I must go still.”
His lips close to a thin line, worry back in his face. He takes your hands in his scarred ones. You are to hear his angry pleads again, but to your surprise, he simple answers, “Alright.”
You open your eyes wide in astonishment. “Alright?”
Your mate grins before adding, “Alright.” And that grin means two things. Trouble, or planed trouble. 
“What is your mind up to, Az?” you ask accusingly, as if he was no more than a kid planing mischief. 
His grin grows more teasing. “Nothing, nothing,” he says as he turns to your travel trunk, putting things. His things. “It’s just that I'm going with you.”
“What?”
“What?” he says, totally unfazed by the situation. “You need protection. I want to know you are safe. You are no good with a sword, yet excellent healing people. I’m quite good with a sword. I think it’s a perfect plan.”
“You miss that Rhys has assigned you a mission in the Spring Court. Tomorrow.”
He looks at you, looking at you as if what you’ve said it’s dumb. “I don’t remember that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Love,” he says, and his voice is serious again. “Please. I beg you, don’t make me suffer like this. Let me accompany you. I will talk to Rhys and he will understand. He knows how terrible it is to know your mate is in danger, no mater how strong or brave she is. And you are, but I am not strong enough to spend every second of the following days not knowing if you are safe.”
You sigh, now you are defeated. “Alright.” He smiles triumphantly, so you are quickly to add sternly, “But no scaring anyone that comes near me, understood?”
“Yes, ma’am,” and he has that teasing smirk on his face again. 
-Characters by Sarah J Maas
HEY! IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY AZRIEL MASTERLIST HERE <3
and you can also request any fic idea you have through my inbox so i can write it down :)) i much appreciate requests for azriel and other acotar characters
416 notes · View notes
petew21-blog · 3 months
Text
Friends for life
Tumblr media
This Zack, my best childhood friend. When we were kids, we were basically inspereable. We spent so much time together. We slept over each tohers houses. Even better was the fact that our moms were best frinds. So not only they spend so much time together, but so did we. But that was 6 years ago. Everything changed when my dad died. Zack was there for me, but over time we grew apart. I had to help out my mum with my two sisters and she had to get another job to get enough money for us. Zack's mom on the other hand got divorced and found a new boyfriend. Who I heard didn't really get on well with Zack.
Me and Zack talked from time to time, but it was mainly superficial. Zack was now a very well respected guy in the school. He was always into sports. But now he was a swimmer, basketball and a football player as well. I don't know where he got all that time and energy. Even if we saw each other in the classroom we just smiled or waved at each other. Maybe even this very tiny friendship was the reason why no bullies dared to touch me. Not that Zack would every bully anyone, but if he knew that the other guys bullied someone, he always stood up for that person and ended it. And the bullies even apologized sometimes. That's how respected he was.
So yeah Zack's a jock and I am a classic nerd. Or maybe not classic. I don't really have much time to play games on the computer because of my job, but when I have some spare time I read comic books. So yeah, that makes me a nerd I suppose. And I do quite well at school too. Maybe not the PE, I kinda suck at that, but I get by.
Present time
Me and several other classmates were assigned to start decorating the halls for upcoming prom. Most of my classmates were really excited for that, but not me. I didn't have anyone to go with. Not anyone I wanted to atleast. Ok, I'll say it. I am gay, which complicates things a bit. And the person I would really like to go to prom with is Zack. But that will never happen. Zack is 100% striaght and it would totally ruin his reputation in the school.
Tumblr media
But that doesn't stop me from obssessing about him. I saw him a few times in the locker rooms which gave me a pretty consistent image of how he changed over the years. He was pretty much the same Zack I grew up with, but I bet that his junk is much bigger than I remember. Truth be told, Zack was the first (and only) person who I had any sexual experience with. I know it sounds sus, but he only wanted to experiment jerking each other off as most boys do at their younger years. Back then I was really puzzled and didn't know what to do. Now I just wish I could go back to that moment once again.
I was one of the few remaining students. The rest headed to the shops to get their dresses and suits. I told them to leave and that I would finish it by myself, cause I wasn't planning on going anyway.
I entered the gym to get a ladder, to help me set up the last few letters over the door. And there he was, on the other side of the room. Zack was lifting some weights I didn't even know how to name. He noticed me battling with the ladder nd hurried up to help me. I mean... wouldn't you crush about him too?
Zack:"Hey, man. Nobody came to help you with this? It's pretty heavy."
Me:"Hey, no. They all left to get their suits and all. So it's just me now."
Zack:"Oh, that's sad. You need help with something?"
Me:"No, it's fine. It's just final touches. But thanks"
Zack:"All right, man. But if you need, don't hesitate to ask ok?"
He smiled and went back to finish his set.
I was basically drooling, As I was climbing the ladder and trying to reach the letters, I stumbled and grabbed onto a light. I must have been shocked or something cause then I found myself on the floor. But I wasn't on the ground, I was standing. And on the ground was my body, unconcious.
I looked at my hands and they were barely visible. I tried to reach my body but it wouldn't accept my soul. Fuck, am I dying? I tried to call out for Zack but he didn't hear me. I ran to him and saw him lifting his weights. I tried to reach for him, but before I did I felt a force pulling me towards him. And as I was pulled away I felt something being ejected out of his body.
I opened my eyes, looking in front of me. But Zack was gone now. I turned around but he wasn't anywhere. As I looked down, I noticed I was now wearing bright red shorts, and on top of that a very sweaty torso, which definitely wasn't mine. I reached out my hands. Fuck, is this really happening? I searched the pockets and found a phone. In its reflection I saw Zack's face. Oh my god. Did I really just possess Zack's body? And where is he?
The responsible flow of thoughts was now interrupted by the two huge sweaty biceps now in the way where I usually didn't mind them. I flexed and oh my god, the tightness, the strength. I felt amazing.
I knew it was bad, but I just had to give it a try. What if I might never have a chance to do this ever again, I stuck out my new tongue and licked my new shoulder all the way to my biceps. Which also allowed me now to inhale the scent of my sweaty armpit. "This is so amazing!"
I then proceeded to touch my new belly full off abs. "How the hell did he get these?"
Tumblr media
"Lot of working out and calorie deficit" a voice called out from the other side of the room, where I was before. And there was my body. Standing.
"Zack? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Would you mind telling me how this happened?"
I wanted to be completely honest, I swear, but I think that he doesn't need to know the part where my soul travelled to his body and was pulled by it.
"So, are we gonna try to reverse it the same way? Cause your body is really hurting from the fall and my body needs to be ready for a game tommorow. So I'm not really sure about that"
"I'm really sorry about that Zack. I mean, you're right that maybe it was my near deth experience that caused this, but I don't know if endangering our lives would allow to swap us back. What if the other one dies and the remaining one will have to keep on living the other ones life?"
"Yeah, you're onto something. Well, we're gonna have to figure out how to pass on as each other."
We spoke some more about how we were gonna live our lives without anyone thinking we have gone crazy.
"Ok, Zack. Just one question. How about... you know. Private stuff?"
"You mean my personal things at home or phone? Well that shouldn't be so bad I think. I don't have many secrets to tell or something, haha"
"No, I mean. Eventually we're gonna have to take a shower or go to a toilet."
"Oh, right. I haven't thought of that. Well, than my body is your body? I mean, I don't really like to think about somebody else using my body like that, but I know you're a good person and all, so I know you'll treat my body well. Maybe just... no sex? Could you do that for me please?"
"Zach, I haven't had sex yet even in my body. I mean, your body is attractive and all so, I know I could get a date in your body or smth, but that's not something I would do."
"Ok, thanks man. Just making sure. And also another thing. I..."
"What is i Zack?"
"Give me a second, it's kind off embarasing for me. I have to jerk off in the evening everyday. If I don't I sometimes have wet dreams the next morning"
"Dude, that's nothing to be ashamed of. That happens, Zack"
"Thanks. I know you mean well, but I just know my body. So I know you'll have to take care of that now or you'll have a very unpleasant morning including the washing of the clothes and bed linens."
I felt Zack dick in my new shorts getting hard just by hearing about this. Not only am I in the body of my crush, but he himself gave me permission to jerk off his dick. How crazy is that?
"Ok, Zack. If that's what needs to be done, I'll do it." I said it in a way to make it sound like I wasn't thrilled to jerk off his dick
"And in exchange I'll get to jerk off your dick. Do you have any other secrets I should know about?"
OH FUCK NO I am not telling him "Well... not really. I think."
"Good, then let's get to it. In case you won't know what to do, just text me and I'll help you"
I was approaching Zack's house. The one where I basically grew up secondary to mine. I knew where all the rooms were. What stuff was placed where. But that was before the death of my dad and before the divorce. Who knows what's different
I entered the house anticipating horrible things. And then a strange man left the restroom. "Hey, dipshit. Back from school already? Jesus fuck. The kids these days. Why don't you get a job kid" he left for the kitchen to grab himself a cold beer and left for the living room.
Now I understand why Zack spent so much time at school doing sports. He didn't want to stay at home longer than necessary.
Anyway, up to Zack's room. His room was not filthy, it was kind of clean, but at the same time it was a but disorganized. Some of his used clothes were lying on the ground. I grabbed one of his boxers and grabbed it to my face. This is my smell now. The smell of my dick. I inhaled and held it to my nose.
As I felt my dick hardening, I didn't waste no time and started undressing myself. Zack's small mirror didn't do the trick for me so I left to the bathroom.
"Ok, modern shower. That's new. Gonna have to give it a go"
I took off all my remaining clothes. I left his necklace on and then just stared at my new reflection in the mirror. How amazing is this?
I touched his jawline, his already growing beard, scratching my hand. His lips, shivering underneath my touch. His beautiful nose. His eyes, that now contained my soul and not his looked a bit different, but same too. I took my right hand and place it on my neck while my left hand was already enjoying the hairtrail blow my stomach.
"Oh Zack, I think you'd be the type to shave. Might do that for you to fully embrace this massive beast" and with that I lowered my right hand that was before resting on my vibrating throat and now started jerking my new dick.
Tumblr media
"Just doing what I had been told. Haha"
I jerked faster. I was slightly moaning but not loud enough to cause suspicion with Zack's step dad. I was observing the tense muscles just working hard to get me into the state of pure euphoria.
I was getting close. I couldn't stop myself from moaning. I jerked so hard that the cum flew out of my dick right to the mirror in front of me. Is I stood there, smiling with my semi-hard dick in my hand I just saw the door swung open.
I quickly covered my dick and whole self with a towel, but even the partial view could give the viewer enough information. His step dad was furious
"What the hell you fucker?!? You're jerking off here while you could do some usefull job instead? I will have a very long talk with your mother when she gets here!"
What the hell just happened. Why is he so mad at Zack all the time. He's a student and a busy one at that. I don't know what this guy's problem is
I cleaned up the bathroom and got ready for the next time. Just the fact that I got the privilege to smell Zack's scent all the time and sleep in his bed. But having his body was a whole new level. I never even dreamed of this
The next day was horrible. I started the day with PE at school and let me tell you, that having a great body full of muscles is one thing. But having a weak will to actually do it is another. I was exhausted. I felt like I wouldn't be able to get up again after finishing
Tumblr media
I saw Zack aproaching me in my body with a concerned look. I was beggining to worry what was on his mind
Zack:"Hey... umm how was your first night as me?"
Me:"Gotta say that the stepdad you got there is an another level of douchebag. I can't believe how you can live with that"
Zack:"Yeah, he is like that all the time. I don't know what mom sees in him. He's actually super nice to her, but seems to hate me just for breathing"
Me:"Yeah. I'll tell you later. There has been a bit of embarassing encounter"
Zack:"Actually I might ask you about something else first. Last night as I was in the bed I was trying to jerk off your dick, very nice by the way"
Me:"Jesus, don't make it more awkward than it is"
Zack:"Sorry. We'll I was trying to jerk off as I normally would, watching porn and stuff, but I couldn't. Then my mind wandered over to the guy on the video... I have to ask you and don't be afraid to answer. Are you gay?"
Me:"Yeah... I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. Well... since we're already saying everything to each other. I'll just admit it right now. I... I have a crush on you Zack"
Zack:"That was my another question. I have my head filled with thoughts. Very naughty thoughts including my body, so I am happy that you cleared this up and I am not just another self centered weirdo. But the question is. Would you let me suck my dick?"
Oh man
Another story from the inbox: Can you do a classic swap story between a nerd and a straight jock? I always find those to be super hot
Hey guys. Sorry for the great break. I was finishing my exams (I passed them all, yay) and now I am in a different country on an externship trying to figure shit out. But I do have some free time during the day and I get to write a bit about my drafts and the stories in your inbox. And thanks to everyone who texted me all the supportive and kind words :) really appreciate it
681 notes · View notes
noxtivagus · 2 years
Text
FFXIV
#🌙.rambles#NO im FINE#i'll be like my wol!#ok i am fucking delusional and a hypocrite and a fool i know yes#i'll be like my wol !#i don't fucking know what i'll be doing but. cries in 'ill just do what i can'#it'll never be enough! yeah. so i'll just. i'll just. survive. do what i must#along the way hopefully i'll really find my answers again. i just. i just want to be happy but i'm so uncertain of the future#n it hurts when i think of the contrast i imagine of a future i want vs what i think i.... deserve? should get?#i'm gna fucking lose my mind but i shld just. be normal as i always am. yes#i feel so empty but that's normal for me! i'll just fake it till i make it. shut the fuck up too while i'm at it#i'll just fake it till i make it. shut the fuck up too while i'm at it#force myself to be better. yes yes. but. but that#no fuck bcs what i want to be is#i want to at least stay authentic n real. even if it hurts. but i don't see the point rn n it hurts. but i don't want to lose myself#but how do i go forward. any other way. with all this pain? tell me how. fucking tell me#it hurts thinking of better moments . they once were real right?#now that i'm growing older though#i'm not sure of anything anymore. i'm so tired. i'm so sorry. i just want to stop thinking#no i'm fine! i'll do little steps#i don't fucking know what i'm doing n it hurts so much but i need to do. whatever. whatever at all#n tomorrow when the day comes. i'll force myself to be happy. i'll force it. i'll fucking force it if i must#my head aches but i cried n feel a bit better. still very unsure. but fuck it all i'll just do wtvr. i'm sorry#i just want to be happy. to not be lonely. to. hold unto my youth. to be at peace. to remember. to achieve great things#i want to help others too n. everything. just. yeah. my dreams n goals n ambitions n wishes. it's so hard. n i'm so afraid#lonely ephemeral world. how do i stay true to myself? how do i find my peace? how do i achieve it all when i'm so so lonely and afraid?#i know i can do so much better. n i'm better than my pain. i'll rise above it but. right now it just feels so cold. so lonely.#right now is one of those moments where i really don't know what to do. bcs time's creeping up on me. growing up too fast....#it's so hard. it's so fucking hard. i'll still try but. i'm sorry i'm sorry it hurts so much n i wish i cld just rest. for time to stop#please don't let me burden you. i'm crying i hate this so much why can't i just be better. be enough. do it. everything. everything
0 notes
emma-needs-attention · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I don’t shave every day. It’s not that I don’t “need” to; I have very dark, dense facial hair that grows quickly and remains pretty visible after shaving. When I do shave, I don’t try to cover it with makeup (beyond some powder to reduce redness). In most other ways I present very feminine, but I always have fairly obvious facial hair.
And it makes me feel terrible.
Tumblr media
I started electrolysis a couple months ago. It’s excruciatingly painful, expensive, and it takes forever. In an hour-long session, my electrologist is able to remove hair in only a small region (about 1 square inch). A few weeks later, much of that hair comes back. I am told that it will take two to three years of regular treatments to remove it entirely. On top of that, I apparently have a condition called Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation, which causes the skin in affected areas to darken after treatment. For nearly two months after completing a single pass over my upper lip, my mustache was more visible than it had ever been, despite having significantly less hair.
And it made me feel terrible.
I know this is the best way for me to permanently remove my facial hair, but I just canceled all of my upcoming sessions and at the moment I have no plans to begin again.
Tumblr media
If I could pay to have my facial hair instantly and completely removed I would empty my savings account. I am intensely aware of it any time I go out in public. If it makes me so uncomfortable, why do I not do more to hide it?
Tumblr media
I feel incredibly privileged for a trans woman. I have a loving, supportive family. I have a well-paying job. I live in a very accepting area. I have never had a single person say anything negative to me about my gender identity, which was certainly not what I was expecting when I came out. It is important to me that I be visibly queer, and in my privileged position I am able to do that without fear. A year ago I didn’t think I would ever transition; now I want people to know that I’m trans.
I am disappointed with myself for wanting to remove my facial hair, for changing my voice. I am determined not to have to do more work than a cis person does. Cis women don’t have to shave their face every day. Cis men don’t have to shave their face every day. Why should I? This is who I am, what my body does. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? Am I not supposed to love myself the way I am?
Tumblr media
But by that logic, why am I even transitioning in the first place?
I am doing more work than a cis person does. Cis people don’t transition, and transitioning takes effort. I know that there are cis people, both men and women, who do shave every day. Am I lying to myself? I’m a trans woman; aren’t I supposed to want to get rid of my facial hair? Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Doesn’t this give me dysphoria? Am I pretending not to have dysphoria so I don’t have to put in the effort? Does the fact that I’m not trying harder make me… I don’t know, less trans? Non-binary? Is it ok for me to call myself a trans woman? Am I lying to myself?
Tumblr media
As a woman who was a man until thirty, there are things about my body that I must accept, that I won’t be able to change no matter how much money I dump into my transition. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, I have large hands. No amount of surgery or hormones will change these things.
But there are many things that I can change, and while none of them are requirements for being a woman, they may still be changes that I want to make. Where do I stop? Am I finished transitioning when I’ve done everything that is physically possible? My goal isn’t to “pass,” at least not in the way that word is generally used. In a time when cis women are being assaulted because people think they’re trans—because they don’t “pass” as women—the idea of what it means to pass becomes blurry. Often when we say that we want to pass, what we really mean is that we want to be conventionally beautiful.
I am a woman. Therefore, I look like a woman. My transition goal is to pass as myself. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am so I can look like her. I don’t care whether people see me and think “that’s a woman.” I want to be able to look in the mirror and think “that’s me.” But it can be extremely difficult to separate your own image of yourself from society’s idea of what you should look like. Am I self-conscious about the size of my body because it doesn’t feel like me, or because I’ve been told that women should be smaller? There are tall cis women, there are broad-shouldered cis women, there are cis women with large hands. Those traits don’t make them less womanly.
Tumblr media
For the aspects of my body that I do have control over, I am stuck wondering whether I am changing things to become myself, or changing them because I have internalized that the way I am is wrong. At the moment, facial feminization surgery is something that I think I might like to do. But how do I know that I want to do it for the right reasons? I don’t hate my face, but when I catch a glimpse of myself from certain angles I can’t help but think that it isn’t feminine enough. What I should be asking is if it’s Emma enough, but how can I know that? How do I know who I’m supposed to be?
I feel like I was supposed to be a cis woman, but… why? Who am I to say that I wasn’t supposed to be trans? That I wasn’t supposed to transition at thirty, to have both a male puberty and a female one? Being trans has made me more self-aware, more open-minded, more empathetic. The totality of my experience is what makes me who I am. Maybe there’s a world in which I was assigned female, maybe there’s a world in which I was put on puberty blockers as a kid. But the girl in those worlds isn’t me.
Loving yourself and wanting to change are two feelings that can coexist. I tend to think of body positivity as simply accepting yourself as you are, but it is more nuanced than that. As a trans person, who I am inside is not the same as who I am outside. Which one am I supposed to love? I do love myself, but I also love who I could be. I’m transitioning so that someday they’ll be the same person.
Tumblr media
Over the past year I have become both my biggest supporter and my biggest critic. I constantly tell myself how pretty I am, how brave I am, how fucking cool I am (hey, nobody else is saying it and it’s true). This forced positivity has been fantastic for me. I can confidently say that I truly love myself for the first time in my life. But I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t love myself more.
I can’t help but stare at myself in the mirror all the time now. I actually bought a new mirror so I didn’t have to walk as far to do so. I’ve taken more selfies than I did in my entire pre-transition life. After many months on HRT, I finally see myself in my reflection. But my eyes refuse to focus on my stubble. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “I’m going be so beautiful once I get rid of this facial hair,” and it feels like a betrayal. Fuck you Emma, I’m already gorgeous.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
ane-doodles · 4 months
Text
I refuse to create a new au, let's call it "alternate timeline"
Ok so, this is based on this illustration. They were just thoughts that came into my head while I was coloring. I'm bad at narration and good at lists so bear with me...
Tumblr media
We are located in the time just before Narinder discovers/creates/idk the way to revive mortals. He is still the bishop of death with his own cult and there are no problems with the rest of the bishops. I want to add a note: since this is set before the whole betrayal thing here Narinder is portrayed as calmer focused on his own thing.
The lamb (we will call her Avan hehe) is part of the cult of the red crown. She is really interested in everything related to spirits and gods and often gets into trouble because of her curiosity.
One day in particular she decides to follow one of the fireflies/devotion lights through the forest and ends up meeting the bishop of death who, thanks to a convenient breeze, ends up revealing his face by accident.
I don't know what happens in this period of time but the lamb ends up visiting the forest often to meet Narinder until it becomes a kind of habit.
Visits in the forest become common company within the cult as well. Avan receives as a gift the red cord that she uses as a belt to match Narinder (thanks to this other cultists believe that she has ascended to a new position and do not usually bother her with questions)
Avan ends up helping Narinder perfect the resurrection method with the knowledge she has of materials (bones, plants, among others) in addition to providing a different perspective and questions to the god of death. In the end they end up achieving the result that we know in the game. [for the ritual to work the summoner gives a small fragment of his life, since Narinder is immortal this does not affect him in any way]
Here the pre-game events take place: the bishops don't like this, they plan a way to stop what Narinder has started and opt to imprison him in the gateway, but first they must kill him (inspired by this post, go check it out )
Tumblr media
So Narinder is killed but he is not immediately chained, but rather the bishops decide to first put an end to the cult (to prevent knowledge about the resurrection from being dispersed). Avan's life is spared because "she seemed to be close to Narinder and his memory should not be forgotten" (me to myself: HA FOOLS! they left alive the only one who really knew the resurrection ritual)
As the massacre takes place, Avan (between terrified and confused) decides to do the resurrection ritual on her own. She takes Narinder's heart and hides deep in the forest.
As Avan is a mortal, the ritual affects her quite a bit (you can see her blackened fingers in a sketch). Narinder is brought back to the world of the living as a demigod, as Avan's mortal life was not enough to bring him back fully.
This is where the story gets a little blurry because my imagination started to run out…
While Narinder fervently desires to take revenge, his powers are truly limited now, and abusing them could kill him and even the lamb. Avan, for her part, prefers to hide at least for a while, scared of the bishops and the idea that they will discover that she was the one who brought Narinder back to life.
How the hell do you hide a cat at least three times your height?
Before the story went totally off track this was supposed to be some sort of Narinder flashback for the CFP Au
I did think about designing a lamb especially for this one, but I prefer to take and adapt Avana, it's more fun and I think the blue suits her well.
Is this a romantic Au? dramatic? Platonic? of friendship? of survival? idk, be creative with your own imagination and enjoy.
579 notes · View notes
sweetismyaddiction · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist
SUCROSE
Paring: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: They live in the same building, in the same corridor, just in front of one another… which helps the friendship but couldn't stop Dr. Reid from falling in love
Word account: 1199
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, friends to lovers
A/N: English is not my first language. Reblog, like, and comment. I am accepting suggestions for the next parts (should I already tell about the nicknames?). Please be nice. The Gif is not mine. Credits to the oner
Chapter 1: Derek Morgan, next door
Y/N’s Point of View
The water ran warm against my skin, a relaxing shower was all I needed after one very busy day serving and cleaning, which was not the worst part of the job, the worst part certainly was the clients themselves.
I had a playlist on to help me relax, thank god I had the day off and would go just to the night shift today, so it is a study and cleaning house day. But a noise interfire my peace day. Noises that come from outside.
In the corridor someone knocked on a door calling a name, Spencer’s name… I finished my bath, put on my robe and with my towel dried a little of my hair just taking the exes of the water then brushing it. I came out just in time to see someone kicking down my door and entering my apartment holding a gun.
“What are you doing?”
The man is a black big man, he looks around and then to me still holding his gun pointing it to me.
“Where is Spencer Reid?”
“Who are you? What are you doing in my apartment? Why did you break my door?”
The last sentence was a scream, I can’t believe that a random dude broke my door for no reason. Can’t he see numbers?
“I am SSA Derek Morgan. Now, where is Reid?”
Morgan, the name rings in my ears. Spencer talked about him so many times. Apparently they are friends and coworkers, he can break Spencer’s door, not my door!
“Spencer’s door is the other one.” I point to the one just across the hall. “But relax big man, you do not need to break another door, I have the key, just wait in here and let me put some clothes on. Do not let anyone into my apartment. And put that gun down. Jesus”
Is this a thing? You have to be handsome to join the FBI? After putting a light dress and getting the key I get back to my living room, where that delight for tired eyes wait, he remains stoic, rigid, so tense. Should I be worried?
Knocking soft on the door and calling his name I warne Spencer that me and Morgan are coming in. No response, and the place is immaculate, everything in the right place.
“He must be asleep, he has been very tired those couple weeks. I am going to check his room.”
“By yourself?”
“Yeah. What? There is something I should know? He is contagious? A zombie? No? Ok, so I am totally fine going by myself.”
I walk slowly into his room, it is dark and quiet.
“Sugarpout? Spence?”
A peaceful breathing is heard when closer to the bed, he is involved in his blankets, is the sights of heaven, my heart gets warm seeing Spencer resting peacefully.
I sit at the bed and run my hand delicately in his soft hair before resetting it in his forehead checking his temperature, he moves a little moaning in protest.
“Shh… it's me Sugarpout, it is ok, you can keep sleeping”
Is a very quiet whisper as I place a tender kiss to his forehead leaving my boy there, his hand landing on top of mine making me smile, as quiet as I entered his bedroom is as I live.
Just at the room door, Derek looks at us, I just make a signal to him to keep quiet and we are back to Spencer’s living room.
“So… you seemed troubled. There is something I should know? Is something wrong with Spencer?”
“Why do you have his keys?”
“Cause I live just across the hall?”
Who does he think he is to interrogate me?
“Serious? That 's why? Common, hot stuff, Reid didn't make a move on that gorgeous woman? Man, he really doesn't have material… or does he?”
Flirtatious Morgan, Reid said he was just like that, all charming. Just bark, don’t bite. Well… I don’t think girls would mind if he bites them, I recognize good stuff when I see it.
“Changing subject that quickly? What are you avoiding agent?”
He just looked at me, no verbal answer, heavy shoulders unmatched with the flirt smile on his face… for a profiler he isn't that good in hiding emotions.
“Seriously” a puff of air came out of me. “Is everything okay with him?”
“Yes, Reid is fine. I… was just worried, we had a hard case and he wasn’t answering the phone…”
“I believe you”
“So… why the keys?”
“I live very close, we are friends and I am his food stealer”
 I blinked at the man with a dirty smile in my face mixed with my sweet traces.
“Food stealer?”
“He is out, I need something, I enter his apartment, I grab what I need, and then I come back to my place. Simple”
“Are you confessing a crime to an FBI agent?”
“A crime against another agent. And the other agent is very aware of what I do in his hose”
“Sorry about the door”
“It’s okay, it is nice to know Sugarpout have friend that really care about him”
It is impossible not to smile, I care so much about the genius boy. Knowing other people also care about him warmes my insides, it is really good to know he is well protected in the field.
“Sugarpout?”
My eyes almost fall out of my face. Shit! It is a private nickname.
“Don’t. Do not, ever, ever, talk about it to anyone, It is private, and especial, so please…”
“Okay, a secret. Someday you will tell me?”
“Maybe”
Derek Morgan lives his card with me. He waited about 30 minutes talking to me, but it seemed Spencer wouldn't wake up so soon, so Derek decided to go home, but promised to pay for my door. In my opinion it was the very minimum he could do, but them we have a talk, and his caring by Spencer was more than enough for me to forget about my broken door.
“Sugar?”
“Hey, Sugarpout, did you sleep well?”
I smile going to start to prepare something for him to eat.
“How long have I sleeped?”
“Something around two hours, you needed it. Morgan passed by, and broke my door”
“He what?”
“Broke my door. He was knocking, no one opened, then he kicked in. But surprise, surprise. It was the wrong door.”
“Sorry”
“It is not your fault, and he is going to pay for the repair, he was just worried because you didn’t answer the phone, and the last case was hard. I assume you basically blacked out from exhaustion so I decided to let you sleep.”
The toast is ready as is the coffee, the black coffee with tons of sugar.
“Here you go Sugarpout, you need to eat, and then you should call your people. I am not asking about the case. Just a reminder that you can talk about anything with me anytime, I am just one door away.”
I kiss his head, before going back to my place. I could tell he needed a moment alone to call his friends, especially Derek after what I vaguely told him.
---------------------------------------------------------
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist
454 notes · View notes
graysturns · 6 months
Text
𝕗𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕞 | 𝕞.𝕤.
Tumblr media
note: hey guys this is my first time posting my actual work and i’m kinda new to tumblr so pls be nice or i will cry ok thanks bye
warnings: idk smut ig
⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄
"babe please hurry up, we're already running late," matt sighs as he shuts the car door.
"i just need to get some shorts or something, i can't show up to your mom's house in these jeans, look at this" i lift the sweater wrapped around my waist, revealing the rip around my inner thigh.
he rolls his eyes and sulks behind me as we make our way inside the old navy in our hometown. i begin to scan the various women's clothing, looking for something basic, because it's too late to go back home and figure out a new outfit.
"will you hurry up and pick one? please, y/n. chris is texting me wondering where we are. they want to start eating without us and he's most definitely gonna eat all the mac and cheese."
i roll my eyes at him. "first of all, never call me by my government name. rude. and second, we just got here, breathe. we wouldn't be here if you hadn't grabbed my ass so harshly when we stopped at the gas station. you caused this by manhandling me, matthew." i shot back.
he sighs again as i grab a few different options in my size and head towards the fitting rooms. upon arrival, we notice there aren't any employees so i pick a stall and wave matt into the small room.
he looks up at me, then around at our surroundings, "are you sure? i don't think they allow multiple people in at once, i'll just wait here."
i roll my eyes again. "matthew! get in here! i need your opinion. this store is basically empty anyways. it's not a big deal, you've seen me naked before. let's not act so innocent."
he follows me in and takes a seat on the bench facing the door. i untie the sweater he lent me and throw it at his face. "rude!" he exclaims sassily, throwing the wad of clothing to the ground.
"uhm, excuse me, you're rude. you're the whole reason we're in this mess." i begin to remove the ripped pair of pants and pull a new one off its hanger.
facing the mirror on the door, i begin to pull the pair of mom jeans on before matt looks up from his phone and stops me.
"baby, i've never seen these panties on you before, are they new?" he smirks at me. i nod, swatting at his hands.
"wait stop, they're super cute, why haven't you shown me?" he looks up at me with those hypnotic blue eyes, brows furrowed.
i turn around, with the jeans still around my ankles and my hands on my hips. "do i need to inform you every time i purchase a new article of clothing, matt? it's just panties."
he wiggles his eyebrows at me, "when they make your ass look like that, then yeah, i must be notified immediately." he places me onto his lap, pulling the jeans all the way off my ankles so i can straddle him.
"baby we're running late, you're the one who keeps insisting, as much as i want to, we don't have time to fool around" i say to him between the open-mouthed kisses he begins to place on my neck.
he starts to take my top off, then gasps. "fuck the mac and cheese! it's a matching set, now i really can't believe you kept this from me." he drools at the sight of the lacy see-through bra, rubbing his thumb over my visible nipple. he yanks down the thin fabric, causing my boobs to spill over. with one arm wrapped around me, clutching my ass, he uses the other to massage my breast, all while kissing my neck. i feel myself starting to give in, biting my lip to stifle a moan. "matt, i-i don't think we can do this here." i slightly protest, but he reaches up to kiss me, and bites my bottom lip.
i'm done for.
he's kissing and grabbing and rubbing all over me and i'm a mess. i can never say no to him, he knows how to manipulate my body to want exactly what he wants. i can feel his bulge through his jeans, and i grind on it slowly, making my clit throb against it.
suddenly, he lifts me and flips me around so im sat on his lap, and we're both facing the mirror. he's unbuckling his belt, then his pants. he wraps one arm around my waist and lifts me slightly while he pulls down his pants and boxers, revealing his dick, standing tall and proud.
he makes eye contact with me in the mirror and grabs my face, smushing my cheeks together, and whispers in my ear, "i want you to watch baby, watch how good you can take my whole dick inside of you, pay real close attention."
he smirks at my widened eyes, and moves the panties to one side, rubbing the wetness all around and then on my clit.
"you normally get to scream all you want, but not this time baby, okay? you need to be really really quiet for me, got it?" he covers my mouth.
i nod quickly, and without warning, he picks me up and thrusts his entire length into me. i hold back a scream, and i feel tears falling down my cheeks. no matter how many times, how long we've been together, i'll never be used to his size.
he gives me a second to adjust, and then begins to pound into me over and over again, my back sliding up and down his clothed chest. i'm watching as my breasts bounce up and down and his dick glides in and out, in and out. he uncovers my mouth, keeping one hand on my waist, and starts to rub circles on my clit with the pad of his thumb, making me roll my eyes back further in pleasure.
he begins to nibble on my ear, then moves down to suck the spot right underneath. as he kisses down, i feel him bite down on my shoulder to suppress a moan.
"matthew!" i hiss at the pain, but it feels so good.
"shh!" he pinches my nipple, causing me to let out a whimper.
i grab his wrist, stopping his movement, and smile at him, "my turn." i bend down slightly, still facing the mirror so he has a full view of my ass while i bounce on his dick. he presses down on my back, sliding his hand down to secure a firm grip on my neck. he curses under his breath, trying hard not to make any noise while i'm aggressively riding him. he places both hands on my ass grasping and slapping occasionally, until i sit back up and we're making eye contact in the reflection. he's rubbing on my clit again, using his other hand to massage my left breast and i can feel a knot forming in my abdomen.
i turn around so i'm straddling him, and continue to bounce up and down. he grabs me by my throat and kisses me roughly, before planting a hard slap on my ass. i move faster, and he groans, grasping my ass tighter, leaving hand-shaped bruises for him to stare at later.
"i'm almost there baby. fuck, you're the most beautiful thing i've ever laid my eyes on." he whispers in my ear and i close my eyes, feeling my climax creeping close.
we start moving in sync, until my legs shake, and i feel his dick twitch, then shoot his load into me, causing me to finish as well, leaving me trembling on his lap. i drop my head forward onto his shoulder, desperately trying to catch my breath
he wraps his arms around my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. "wow, what we just did was probably super illegal, " i laugh at his comment, but then frown when i realize what we've done.
"fucking hell, matt. we can't buy pants now, i feel too awkward going up to the register after we've been in this fitting room for so long, they probably know what we've been doing!" i cover my face with my hands.
"baby that's alright," he grabs my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. "just put your clothes back on, we'll go back to the car, and you can just borrow some sweats when we get home."
i stare at him, mouth gaping in realization. "are you serious? we could've just done that in the first place! i'm so dumb, why didn't i think of that?"
he stands and helps me put my shirt on, followed by the ripped jeans, "it's alright y/n, i didn't think of it either. let's go home, i'm starving." he smiles at me, rubbing small circles on my back.
"i love you, matt" i look up at him, with red cheeks, wondering how i'm going to leave this dressing room with any dignity.
"i love you. don't worry, i know what you're thinking. just hold my hand and we'll walk back to the car, c'mon." he laces our fingers together and kisses me on the forehead, unlocking the door and stepping out of the changing room.
luckily enough, nobody seemed to even notice us weaving through the aisles and exiting the store. we managed to get back in matt's car without a single interruption, and soon after arriving at his house, where chris had demolished the entire dish of mac and cheese.
⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄
ahh can’t believe i’m posting this but fuck it we ball
to be added to taglist comment here
410 notes · View notes
jinxthequeergirl · 25 days
Text
The Ol switcharoo (pt 6)
Ford x reader / stan x reader
Tumblr media
Summary:
Warning: I let Bill say 1 swear word (as a treat)
~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~
"The Dippers are a given so that's two points for me already." You said staring up at the night sky thoughtfully.
"Is that how this works?" Ford asked, eyes glued to you. It was early summer, you had convinced him to join you on the roof for some air. Though at this point he never really needed convincing when it came to something g you wanted to do with him.
"Yes now... let's see....there's scorpio, and Aries, serpent....there's triangulum austrael of course so that's..." You quickly did the mental math on how many points you had just awarded yourself, partly debating on how fair you wanted to make it.
"Ten points for me plus 5 for that shooting star!" You said pointing at the star crossing the sky. Ford looked up at the sky for the first time since you started speaking.
"What do you wish for?" He asked.
"You aren't supposed to tell." You rolled your eyes, falling flat against the blanket you lied out. "But if you must know." Ford followed your action, laying beside you, his fingers brushing your. "I wished that you get everything you want in life! And that you live a good, happy life."
"You wished for me?" He asked, blinking at you in awe. You grinned. "Of course, fordsy! I never use a wish on myself. Besides, I have everything I need right here." You said, grasping his hand in yours. Ford felt his stomach flip.
"Y/n i -" his voice cut out, and instead, all you heard was a terrible rining. You shut your eyes and covered your ears. Only when you reopened your eyes the white was gone, and you found you where instead laying in a pile of ruble. A familiar machine glowing bright as a man stepped through.
"Y/n!?"
Then it all came back to you. Of course, you weren't sitting on the roof with Ford. That was almost 40 years ago now. You were instead in the basement where your life felt like it was shattering into a million pieces
"Y/n it is you!" The man who came through shouted in excitement as you pushed yourself up to your feet. He raced twoard you engulfing you in an excited hug.
You froze, your brain still groggy from the damage the portal had caused, you'd be lucky to not have brain damage. "Who are you?..." You finally asked pushing the man off of you.
He was clad in tattered clothes, masks, and goggles covering his face.
"It's me! It's Stanford!" You stared at him in horror as he pulled the articles of clothing that covered his face away to reveal his identify to you.
You where in fact going to throw up.
"Y/n?" The man who said he was Stanford waved his hand infront of your face. You had stopped moving. How could this be Stanford when you were watching Stanford get up from his own ruble pile.
"I... where are the kids?" Was all you could think to ask backing away from him.
"Y/n? Kids? What are you talking about?"
You held a finger out and a warning look in his direction to make sure he stopped. "Mable, dipper, are you ok!?" You looked around and found both of them. "Thank God." You fell to your knees, and they ran into your arms.
"Y/n?are these your kid?"
"Don't! I don't want you near me or these kids! Either of you till I het some answers!" You said pushing the twins behind you, watching as the man who assumed to be Stanford stood next to the man who claimed to be Stanford.
The one dressed in black future garb looked hurt he raised his hands up to say something but stopped when you shushed him.
He waited 30 years to see you again, 30 years and your face was still the one he conjured up when he went to bed at night only to return home and to be treated like an alien by you?
"ANSWERS NOW OR I LOCK BOTH OF YOU DOWN HERE!"
"Y/n... kids... this is my brother, my twin brother, the real Stanford Pines." Stan said, finally catching Fords attention.
"The real Stanford pines?" Dipper asked.
"...What?...." Your heart sank. You felt a pit open up in your stomach. Stan came over and sat you down. You stared at him once again, unable to move. "Let me explain... I know you're going to hate me, and that's fine, just please."
You could have socked him in the mouth right then and there, but you nodded.
Instead, you listened to both of them bicker and argue. You listed to both of them tell two sides of one story, a story about a life you didn't even know they lived with each other. You began to wonder what parts of your life weren't lies and even tried to remember as much of your own past to try and make sense of this.
Then it came to you in the story everything Ford had to say about his time with you matched. Until he confessed to lying about going to see his family, until he told you he got into some scary stuff and had to call Stanley and how they fought and argued and stan accidentally sent him through the portal for 30 years while he attempted to fix it.
"You fixed the portal, Stanley? It wasn't y/n? The one person I asked you to call to come fix it and help?" Ford asked, annoance clear in his tone.
"Listen when y/n came home I didn't know how to tell her...tell you what had happened something had already gone on between you two and it would have just made you feel the same guilt I did...so I lied to you...I told you I told you I was stanford...that I had surgery to remove my sixth fingers...that I was done with this life and that you should be too because Ford said he didn't want you near anything in the stupid journals."
Stan looked at you with sincerity, a sappy look on his face you've only ever seen a few times, a look that read "I care for you trust me."
Ford caught onto the look his brother gave you and the way he held both your hands in his reasuringly and felt something bubble in his stomach, and he scoffed, realizing what was going on between you two.
You blinked at his hands in yours. "Stanfo-stanley pines..." stan smiled hopefully as you spoke. Before he could answer, you stood up and put all your remaining energy into your right hook that knocked Stanley over.
"30 years! Everything was a lie! I gave up MY LIFE because of a lie you told for 30 years! I had feelings for you and none of them...all of them because of a lie you told! What is wrong with you!? Why wouldn't come to me to bring back your own brother... my friend is beyond me!" Stanley looked away from you with guilt rubbing his face where your fist had connected.
"Y/n let's calm down I'm sure-"
"And you!" You said pointing at Ford. You felt the air leave your body when you turned to him and really got a good look at him since he came through the portal. He was the same for the most part, still tired he still had all six fingers on each hand. It was your Ford the way you always remembered him. And for a split second, you lost the speech you were about to shout at him. You wanted to run and hug him.
"You lied to me too!" You said instead.
"You just wouldn't listen to anything anyone had to say for your own good, would you!? Me? Fiddleford? Your own brother!? You are selfish, and I lost my life to that selfishness. You lost yours too because of it."
Ford grabbed your arm, stopping you from turning away. "Leave Me alone!" You growled yanking your arm from him. Before storming out of the basement to your room.
You slammed the door shut and sank to the floor. It was only a matter of seconds before you heard a knock behind you. "Go away! I don't want to see either of you!"
"Y/n, it's me and dipper!"
"Are you ok?"
"I just need to be alone right now." You replied softly. You could hear there was about to be protest before another set of footsteps appeared.
"Kids, why don't you go up to your room while I talk to my brother." You could tell stan was hesitating outside your door deciding if he should say anything else. Eventually, you heard him walk away.
You stared into the darkness of your bedroom, breathing deeply, trying to decide if you were the idiot for believing Stanley for so long. Your throat hurt from that awful feeling of wanting to cry.
Then something sticking out from underneath your matress caught your eye. You got up and snatched it, staring at the paper. Was this what that little demon was talking about, all of this and all he wanted was to be able to talk to you.
"Contact me BFF!"
You sighed. You couldn't possibly be miserable enough to summon a completely different entity just to talk to.
Right?
Before you could fully decide, you heard familiar laughter fill your room.
"Men, ain't shit am i right?"
As the little yellow fiend faced you, you couldn't help but let your thought wonder to the different universe where none of this happened. You wondered why it was happening and how you let it happen.
Then went through a cycle of anger and grief in a split second before turning to the shape.
"When did we become old men?" Stan asked his brother, trying to lighten the mood.
"You look like dad." Ford added, earn a laugh from the both of them, followed by a beat of silence.
"Listen Stanley I'll stay in the basement and try to clean up and handle remaining damages caused by the portal but when summer is over and the twins go home this becomes my house again, no more mystery shack and I get my identity back." Ford said in a matter of fact tone.
"Fine, but you stay away from those kids and while your at it....away from y/n too as far as I'm concerned they are the only family I got."
"You can't dictate on if I talk to MY friend or not-"
"You said it yourself 30 years ago. You didn't want her anywhere near whatever was after you back then, so keep it that way." Stan said it a pointed finger mimicking his brothers matter of fact tone before storming off. He paused outside your room only for a moment before continuing on.
That night, the Pines family house was silent. The living room was not busy with a movie marathon, the kitchen was not filled with dinner food, the yard remained empty.
The twins(lead by mable) worked on a plan to get their grunkles and yourself all on good terms.
Stanley had forgotten up until this point how lonely and cold a bed could be without you beside him.
You let off some steam, you ranted and ranted and ranted to your new "friend" till you thought you couldn't talk anymore and passed out cold on your bed.
Ford found himself back in the comfort of his own room. Right back, where he was 30 years ago, hunched over a desk scribbling something on paper.
"I would like to formally apologize-" He shook his head, crumbling the paper up and tossing it in the trash. He pulled out another piece of paper and tapped his head looking at the very worn and beaten letter addressed to you under his equally worn and beaten photo of the two of you he carried with him the whole time and sighed.
"I'm sorry..."
~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~
@muffin1304
@katharine3000
@leo4242564
@space1crow
@steveharringtongf
@mckennaishere07
@nothingbutclouds
@anicega
@i-am-tiredd
@babydoll-143
@fanficcrow
@slay-thou-pookie
@bandaids-n-porceline
@world-of-shadows-and-music
@randombuddys
@ritzes28
@pandaquick
@miarabanana
@marvelous-maniac
@spookysister
@teenagetrash00
@fudosl
@grimometry
@aweleyirene
@rapunzelbro
@fries11
@willowydreams
@Marshhbs
@Friendmagazineprincess
@kittykat82sk
@bigraga-sk
@creat0r-cat
@melodia3
@chaneylhb
@taffycandyqt
@thepurgatory0fnightmares
@kittenlover614
@theblueraven
@fettyyyy
@ursamemejer
329 notes · View notes
joshslater · 7 months
Text
Stained
Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.
Tumblr media
They say when you are in an accident everything moves in slow motion. That wasn't at all how it felt for me. I was driving down a slight slope toward an intersection out in bumfuckyall, where a truck was waiting at a red light. Why they would put a traffic light out here with nothing but crop fields around is beyond me. Getting some extra revenue from people running the lights perhaps. Not busy enough to warrant the installation though. Maybe to stop traffic when harvesters or whatever pass by, but they would move slowly and be pretty darn visible in this terrain.
The belt tensioner yanked me into the seat at the same time as I heard the crash and I had just time to turn my head back from the fields to see the now milky front window, shattered into thousands of small glass cubes suspended by the plastic film on the back of it, give way to the mass that had been thrown off the flatbed and flung into my windshield. Through the widening gap at the top of the windshield liquid was dumped into the car, all over me, and everything turned into black silence with a strong smell of chemicals.
It all went faster than I could register, and I just sat there still with burning eyes, trying to comprehend what had just happened. I somehow had run into the truck. I heard hurried steps outside and someone first trying to open the door then rapping the side window and shouting "Are you hurt, buddy?"
Was I? My shoulder hurt from the seat belt, and I couldn't see anything, but otherwise I wouldn't feel anything damaged. I fumbled a bit to find how to open the door and once successful responded "I'm OK I think. I can't see though."
"Thank Lord. It's wood stain. Had some buckets in the back. Some paint too. It'll make you dizzy and sick, but I wouldn't worry about going blind. Let me help you out and lay you down. I have plenty of water to rinse you."
Despite squeezing my eyes as shut as I could, reasoning that opening them would probably let more paint in than out, I had no problems finding and removing the seat belt, and stepping out of the car. As soon as I was out of the car he grabbed my arm and led me to a spot in front of both vehicles. My mouth tasted of chemicals and I spat on the ground several times.
"Just lie down here, buddy. Are you sure you aren't hurt?" "A bit sore, but nothing really hurts." "That's a relief. The car is probably a write-off with all the damage outside and in. This is all my fault." Without opening my eyes I let myself be guided to the ground while he talked. I could hear the steps of another person getting closer from beyond my car. "It is?" "Casy, get the big jug!" he told the other person, who answered a curt "Yep" in a young man's voice. "I must have put in reverse while waiting for the light and then... reverse into you," he said, talking to me again. "It's a rental. I'm sure they are used to handling things like this." "Just stay still there buddy, and I'll start pouring."
He began pouring water on my face, occasionally wiping with a rag of some sort. "Open your mouth and take some water. Then swig it around and spit it out." We did that a few times. A few more rinses and I dared to open my eyes. He looked like he sounded like. Trucker cap, beard, grey and blue flannel shirt, blue jeans, and boots. Hovering behind him was a boy in his late teens or early twenties, dressed very similarly in camo cap, blue JROTC hoodie, jeans, and boots. For my part I was wood-stain brown and garden-fence white.
"I'm Cliff, this is Casy," Cliff said and gave me his hand to help me up. As I stood up and looked past his pick up I could see my car. It looked worse than I would have expected. While the collision didn't feel that bad, the crumple zones certainly felt it. A few buckets of paint had landed next to it, but clearly the inside was ruined by the ones that had passed through the glass. I had no hope that my travel bag with what little extra clothes I had brought with me had survived either, as I think I had tossed it on the passenger seat. 
"I'm Bradly" "Casy, give Bradly your pop. He can't taste nothing but paint." Casy did a nod and another dull "yep", but jumped into the truck with ease and was quickly out again with a can of Monster. Ignoring that it was opened and with a third gone, I took an eager sip, swirled it in my mouth, and swallowed. When I had emptied the can the taste of oil and paint was almost gone.
"I reckon we need to hose you down before we can do anything else. Casy can stay here while we bring you to the house to clean you up. Then we can figure out how to take care of the car. How's that sound, buddy?"
"Sounds reasonable to me." "I'm sorry, but do you mind getting on the flatbed." He motioned all over my paint-drenched body. "No. Is it far?" "It's a quick drive."
When you are lying on your back on a tarp next to reclaimed wood, slowly drying into the color of an antique table, seeing nothing but the afternoon sky, nothing is a quick drive. I didn't dare move, not so much because I was lying unprotected in the back of a truck that was driving far too fast for my comfort, but because I was soaked in oil and paint and water, and didn't want to mess anything else up. The wind running over my body was chilling, despite the balmy weather. My shoulder and chest hurt from where the belt tightener pulled me back into the seat. Despite the wind there was a strong smell of paint. I felt lightheaded. My mind began to wander. I should probably call the motel that I would be late, or not arriving at all. I was thinking about how I decided to not have a coffee at the diner to get back on the road quicker. I should have bought one. The apple pie slices looked delicious. Eventually however I would see treetops creeping into view and soon after we came to a stop on gravel.
"Where is he?" a woman asked nearby. "Back there," Cliff answered and opened the tailgate. He extended a hand to help me down. "Hey buddy, this is Sarah!" "Hi," Sarah said smiling. "Bradly"
Instead of walking towards the house she motioned toward one of the barns. "Hose is over there. Then you can take a proper shower after." On Sarah's urging I took off everything but my briefs. She suggested I take them off as well, but didn't press the issue. The water was pretty high-pressure and ice cold. Cold water worked better than hot water Sarah claimed, not that hot water was an option outside the house.
Once I was hosed enough that the water didn't run brown anymore, and I felt I was near risking hypothermia, I wrapped myself in an old discolored beach blanket Sarah handed me and we walked back to the house. I shivered and my lightheadedness had turned into a dull, thumping headache. Cliff and the truck were gone. Sarah grabbed one of the white plastic chairs, placed it near the front door, and told me to sit down. "The white paint doesn't stick too bad to the skin, but we're never going to be able to clean this out," she said and touched my hair. I hadn't felt a feeling like that since I used way too much hair gel for Halloween many years ago. It was like my hair and the paint had formed a helmet. She quickly returned from the house with a trimmer on an extension cord. "Sides are not too bad. I can make a flat top," she said and buzzed away, clearly used to taking care of Cliff and Casy. I cringed when I heard it, and was about to stop her, but changed my mind. Better to let her keep as much hair as possible and decide on the real emergency haircut later.
She then led me through the house and what must have been Casy's room, with a home gym and a gaming setup, to his bathroom. Everything was big and roomy, but I guess it is inexpensive to build large when you have lots of land, time, and resources. "Take as much time as you need and use any of the soaps you want. I'll put some clothes on the bed for you. Just throw your briefs in the bathroom bin," Sarah said and left.
I looked in the bathroom mirror, the first time I saw myself after the accident. I looked terrible. The haircut was ugly, of course, but the uneven stain stains all over my body made me look tan and dirty. Like I had spent all day riding a dirt bike in mud, not the last ten minutes being blasted by ice water. I looked as beaten and spent as I felt.
By "any of the soaps" she meant the Axe Total Fresh 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash that there were four opened bottles of in various places in the bathroom. Somehow Casy managed to both have a messy bathroom without having much in it. The water felt like a blessing on my cold, bruised body. I just stood there for a while, letting the warm water rinse me. Then I lathered myself completely and rinsed off three times in a row. Neither the foam nor the water looked discolored, and when I dried myself with the one towel in the room it didn't become stained. The image in the mirror however looked disappointingly identical to before. The same stained me, but now with a more acute headache. Everything smelled like Axe Total Fresh, and it did my head no favors.
I peeked into Casy's room. No one was there and the door to the rest of the house was shut, so I entered and looked at the clothes laid out for me on the bed. Only one of each, so no options. First black compression boxers with a wide Nike band. Then a pair of green-brown socks that looked like what the army issues. Some lightly distressed blue jeans with a black leather belt. A military green Under Armour T-shirt in a glossy material with "patriotic" print with stars and almost-US flags on it. A hunting camo baseball cap. Finally a pair of well-worn leather boots. I put it all on, including the hat to cover the ugly hair and the boots because I wasn't sure what the indoor etiquette here was. Everything fit surprisingly well, though I guess she could have looked at the size of my ruined clothes.
I opened the door and stepped out of the room, trying to find Sarah, or anyone really. How long had I been in the shower? Probably an hour, if not longer. "Hello?" "We're over here," I heard Sarah shout from across the house. I walked in the direction of her voice and was soon joined by Cliff who emerged from another room. "How are you feeling, buddy?" he asked in a concerned fatherly manner. "I think I'm about to have an episode of migraine." "That something you've had before." "Never."
"Take your seats. You over here Brad," Sarah said as we turned the corner into a large kitchen with a table laid for four. "Bud... eh, Bradly." I tried to correct her, but she had turned to the big cast iron pot on the stove. Casy already sat by the table with a phone in his hand, but his eyes were firmly on me. His face didn't reveal any expressions.
Sarah placed the heavy pot on the table and with a big ladle filled my plate with a dark stew. "Here you go, Bud," she said. As the smell of beef stock, fresh herbs, carrots, onions, and slow cooked, rich meat reached my nose I immediately recognized the telltales. Weakening of the jaw. The increase in saliva. I almost threw myself out of the chair, rushed over to the sink, and managed just in time to throw up into the sink. I realized I was sweating. Then another heave of vomit. "Oh, poor buddy," Sarah said and patted my back.  "Here, drink this," she said and filled a glass of water from a pitcher. My body heaved a third time, but nothing came out. "Thanks," I replied and took the glass with some apprehension, waiting to see if my body would do something else. Once it appeared safe I took the glass and started to empty it.
"Casy, make one of them shakes for him. He needs to get something in his belly." Almost reluctantly, like I had ruined his meal, Casy got up and moved towards a cupboard. "I just need to rest I think," I said, my head now mercilessly pounding in pain. "Out of the question. You need something to fortify you."
Casy quickly scooped powder from a large plastic container into a workout shaker bottle thing, poured in some water, gave it a quick shake, and handed it to me. I had barely put it to my mouth when Cliff said "He can barely stand. Take him to your room for a nap." "Come then," Casy said and led the way out of the kitchen, with me following sipping the chalky mixture. "You know the way though," he said once out of earshot from the kitchen. Back inside his room he motioned at the bed and said "This is a bed," deadpan to me. I wanted to say it wasn't my fault his day was ruined. In fact, mine had gone way worse than his, but my head hurt too much for me to care. "Thanks." I put my back on the bed and was out in seconds.
The hard plastic of the ear protectors was what made me wake up properly, and it took a moment to realize what it was and get them off. Almost ripped the cap off with them. These were the radio/bluetooth kind that allowed you to listen to music while you worked. Bright, orange colored cups with the rest of it black. I got up from the bed and left them on the sheets. Apparently I was already fully dressed, so I headed to the kitchen. Sarah was there preparing things.
"Mornin' Ma'am." "Good morning, Buddy." I took my seat. Sarah filled a bowl with porridge, drizzled honey over it, set it on the table in front of me together with a spoon. "Better hurry. Cliff is waiting for you." "Yes, Ma'am."
It wasn't until I began eating I realized how hungry I was, so it wasn't a problem to be quick. Not having seconds though felt rough. Just outside the house was Cliff, doing something with a quad to which he had hooked a trailer full of wooden poles. "Mornin', Sir" "Morning Buddy! Get up in the trailer and make sure nothing shakes out while we drive down the fields. "Yes, Sir."
Once we came to a stop after a bumpy ride, Cliff showed me how to operate the earth drill to make holes, then how to insert a pole, and with the sledge hammer drive it down so it fit securely. He then let me do that while he was working on putting up wires for the electric fence. After we had been at it for quite a while Sarah called on the walkie-talkie and said sheriff Miller wanted to talk to us. We unhooked the trailer and drove up to the farm on the quad, me sitting behind Cliff, straddling him.
Outside the main house Sarah and the sheriff waited for us. It was mostly a boring conversation between Cliff and the sheriff that I tuned out of, but then the sheriff turned to me and asked "And who is this?" "It's Buddy, farmhand for the summer," Cliff answered and took a slight step to the side to give room for the sheriff. The sheriff looked me over for a second. "You were here yesterday?" "Yes, Sir." "Did you see anyone come by yesterday afternoon or evening?" "No, Sir." "Anything else out of the ordinary happened yesterday?" "Yes, Sir. I threw up, Sir. Hasn't happened in years, Sir." "Hahaha." He turned to Cliff again. "If anything comes up let me know. It's not the first traveler that's gotten lost around here, but they usually turn up sooner or later." "They have a habit of doing that, causing extra work for the local sheriff while they are wandering about," Cliff answered, smiling back. The sheriff shook his head and opened his car door. "You ain't wrong."
Once the car was well on its way up the dirt road Sarah motioned at cooler that was on the ground. "I was about to come down with lunch to you boys, but perhaps you want to eat it up here." "Yeah, let's take a breather. This was a close call." Cliff opened a small tool bag that was hanging on the quad and pulled out another pair of orange ear protectors, if not the same as earlier. He turned the knob on them and put them on my head. Noise was sloshing around in my ears like waves breaking on a beach. Voices were whispering all around me. It was impossible to focus on a single voice and hear its message. Just a school of slippery tadpoles swimming around and around. Impossible to grab. Somewhere far in the distance I could hear Cliff talking.
"Let's go even harder with the programming. We don't need him cognisant for the rest of the day."
435 notes · View notes
kentosbabes · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Forgive me Father Nanami for I have sinned.
Cw: sacrilege, priest, corruption, oral and explicit sexual content
You sit down in front of him, the confessional booth feeling tight and humid due to the heat of the summer. “Go on.” His smooth voice drawls. You look down, ashamed- your voice quiet. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I was at a sleepover with some girl friends and the topic of porn came up.” You paused to better figure out how to finish your confession without Father Nanami believing you engage in sinful behaviour regularly.
Nanami was glad you couldn’t see him, adjusting himself. He could see you biting your plush lip, deep in thought through the crisscross pattern of the screen. “Do not fear, God will forgive if you repent, so do not leave anything out.”
You nodded to yourself, “I admitted to my friends that I haven’t watched it before and they decided to watch it on my TV screen. I’m not sure what overcame me but a heat started to grow down there. We watched it for a while and I started to rub myself with a pillow that was nearby because it was too overwhelming and painful to just sit there. I don’t know what happened Father Nanami. It felt so good. I excused myself after they turned it off to go to the bathroom but when I went in I saw my panties were all wet.”
You paused again, tears welling up this time, “I don’t want to go to hell Father, this is the first time I’ve ever seen that before.” The corner of Nanami’s mouth lifted into a smirk. He quickly schooled his face, “please, kneel and repent with me. Can I ask what about it made you feel so good?” All he could think was how pretty of a picture you look, looking up at him on your knees.
You thought about it, “The man started kissing the woman, down there… He started to tell her things. Dirty things, while he was doing it. Then he pushed his penis in her, she looked and sounded like she was enjoying it.”
“What kind of dirty things did he say to her, don’t worry sweetheart this is only between me n’ you.” Nanami was palming himself over his clothes while asking, trying to even his breath to sound normal.
“Ok… he started off by saying that he was rewarding her for being such a good girl then how good she was taking him, he would call her ‘his pretty little whore’ and other pet names like ‘beautiful slut’.” Nanami didn’t know he could get harder but hearing words like slut and whore from a girl who doesn’t even know what they mean is really jarring.
He just wanted to corrupt you. “Close your eyes and pray after me,” your knees hurting slightly from the cool tile flooring you have been kneeling on. The words of prayer and repentance come easily to you. So easy in fact you couldn’t hear the door opening and closing. You felt two hands start to massage your breasts and hot breath behind your neck. You reasoned that he must have a reason for this, and if Father forgives you then god is surely going to forgive you as well.
“I’m just massaging you to get rid of the devilish thoughts that have taken hold of you.” He whispered, it felt wrong but right. He could feel your heartbeat rise. His touches being more rough, circular motions making you arch your back. Swallowing a moan. Nanami notices this, “let me hear you, unless you aren’t repenting your actions?” He asks with a raised brow.
“Ah, forgive me, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee,” you started to whine, a mantra of apologies and moans of “Father Nanami” falling from your lips.
“You don’t seem to be repenting properly, perhaps I should help you.” He unzipped his suit trousers and hooked his finger around his boxers, painfully hard cock finally free. Nanami tugged on it, gracing the tip of his cock over your moving lips. “Did I tell you to stop?” Allowing those reverent words spill over his throbbing dick.
“I d-detest all my sins,” Nanami grabs your face with his index finger and thumb, opening up your jaw. He helped himself into your warm mouth. Giving a low, appreciative noise around him, it send vibrations of pleasure down his spine, your fingers wrapped around the base of his cock as if you were worshiping him, as if you were seeking repentance from him.
Groaning, blonde stands of hair fall into his eyes. Tucking them behind his ears and rolling his eyes, lolling his head back- only to see religious stained windows. Nanami bucked his hips further down your throat, unable to stop himself with how good you felt with your mouth wrapped around him.
Tears were cascading down your face, you could feel spit flooding your mouth, and still he held you down. A lewd popping sound echos the booth as he takes out his cock.
“Please,” you whisper brokenly because you just need it so bad, need something.
“Repeat after me, I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee” Nanami started to pull your skirt down along with your white lacy underwear. He laid you down flat from your kneeling position.
His tongue laps all your fluids dry, his insatiable thirst no longer concealed. He doesn’t care anymore, you are the last person in the church due to the late hours and the booth is soundproof. Hearing you whines and moans made him even harder.
Nanami whispered out, “my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.” You repeated after him, stuttering and stumbling through the words. The words hot on your pussy. You could feel him smile on it, his nose nuzzling your clit.
He gritted out, “God.” Your tainted body needing to be soothed and caressed by his pure and holy mouth.
“God,” you croak out slowly. “Oh fuck. Okay. Fuck.”
He pried open your legs wider, pausing. “Language or I’ll punish you in the name of his Holy Spirit.” You nodded and incoherently started to babble your apologies. You could feel a knot tying up in you, this is a first for you. It feels so good but the pressure is getting too much. You tangled your hands in his blonde locks, pulling him closer to you. He put in two fingers, you started to rock back and forth in a pattern with him.
Your nipples strained against the thin material of your top as he hummed against your clit, lapping it up and suckling it as though he was a man, starved. You shuddered, “I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more.” But sinning has never felt and tasted so sweet. You came on his face but what surprised you was him licking you to clean you up, not sparing a single drop. Then licking his fingers dry, all with a dark look on his face and in his eyes.
“I still feel like you have sin in you, to remove this I must go deeper. To protect the safety of your soul.” He monologued into your ear, you were scared but curious to what he meant by going deeper. Did he mean he would do like the man in the video and fuck you? You didn’t know if it was bad to crave a man so much you would risk going to eternal damnation but if that was the cost maybe you wanted to pay it.
You nodded, “I want you to use your words sweetheart,” he replied.
“Please, Father for I have sinned, please save my soul from damnation by going deeper in me.” You said with tears welled up in your eyes. His cock twitched at your language, “I am only doing my duties.” But my God what duties they are.
Nanami placed his tip at the entrance of your pussy, rubbing you. “Please, ah,” you bite your lip, “no more teasing I can’t take it.”
He nodded solemnly, pushing himself into you, “You’re so tight, fuck.” Your body began moving in tandem with his, he slammed into you from behind, grabbing and pawing at your hips hard enough to promise tiny bruises the following morning.
“Oh my god, you're such a good little fuck, shit.” You whimper quietly, shaking so hard now, and you nod. You’re a good little fuck, only for him.
Nanami thrusted up harder, the bulge in your stomach prominent. He leaned down, pressing wet, open mouthed kisses all over it. “Fuck, you’re so perfect, such a perfect little slut, it’s like God put you down here just for me.” You could hear the echos of Father Nanami’s grunts, his voice matching yours in breath in the booth.
His cross necklace dangling over you, the cool metal touching your breasts. Pebbling your nipples. His fingers slipping out of you and into your mouth, stuffing them full.
He brought his lips to your neck and started to kiss you, causing you to clench down and convulse on top of him. “Repent daughter of the church,” he gritted out. Your moans and whines turning him on, the idea that he, a symbol of good and purity, is corrupting you makes him closer.
“M’ cumming, I’m going to cum in you, May God free you from your sin.” He groaned, his head falling back giving you a view of his prominent Adam’s apple. He bit into your shoulder as he came inside of you, drawing just enough blood to make him moan into your back as his hands swept up your stomach towards your tits. You came with him, moaning pleads to Father Nanami and God.
Your breathing matching in synchronicity, “You will be back on Sunday to continue your repentance, you don’t want to go to hell do you?”
“No Father, thank you for everything. I’ll be back on Sunday.”
2K notes · View notes