#ok that aside we need more selfies

[thedeviltohisangel]

FOR A FORTNIGHT THERE WE WERE

A little something about Evelyn and Callum at the screening in LA last weekend xoxo

“Do you want to go to the Dodgers game tomorrow night?” Ev had been daydreaming out the window of the Escalade currently taking them to a screening and reception of Masters of the Air.

“Sure that’d be fun.” He held her hand in between them and brought it to his lips.

“You feeling ok? You’ve been quiet the whole ride.”

“Just preemptively tired. I have to fly to New York Monday morning for the premiere.” More and more recently she had just wanted to cocoon herself in blankets at their home, wherever that may be, and never leave. She hoped it wasn’t another bout of depression rearing its ugly head. “I’ve just been feeling a little different lately. Like I’m back in the same headspace I was before we started filming. I don’t know. I can’t explain it.” While he hadn’t known her well before Masters of the Air, he had only met her a few times at parties, he had known she was not herself that first day of their chemistry read.

“You’ve been super fucking busy between press for dragon and press for this and the fact that you insist you can try to be in New York and Scotland in the same day-“ that got a smile across her face “-maybe your body is just telling you it needs to rest a little bit.”

“You forgot that I’m the best girlfriend ever and have been flying to Vancouver every chance to see you,” she teased. “Please add that to your list.” Callum laughed and threw his arm around her should to pull her in close.

“I love you. Wouldn’t want you any other way but want you to take care of yourself. If you need a break, you need a break.” But breaks meant silence and Evelyn had never really been good in the silence.

“Having you back in LA this weekend is kind of like a break.” They’d spent the day lounging in bed before walking Golo to a farmers market, buying flowers and bagels and plants for the herb garden Evelyn had started tending to in their back yard. No one had stopped them for selfies and if people were taking photos, she hadn’t bothered to notice. It had felt good and normal to hold his hand and live her life if only for a few hours.

“You made me pinky promise to still spend every weekend with you while filming!” She giggled as the car pulled up to the curb to drop them off, her publicist, assistant and representatives from the Apple PR department waiting to greet them.

“I did and so far that’s meant me going to Canada and not the other way around. So technically I only encumbered myself with that one.” The longer they were together, the more horrible being apart felt. They were both committed to not letting distance get the best of them during the busiest year of their life. Every weekend one of them was on a plane to go be with the other. They were two halves of the same whole and wouldn’t survive if kept apart. “Hi Tracy,” she greeted as Callum held her hand to help her out of the car.

“Hi you two.” Evelyn wrapped her in a hug and then gripped his hand tightly as he led them in the direction of the party. She made sure to wave to fans that had collected on the sidewalk and posed for some photos from afar as they held their phones up. “Let’s make sure you get an individual shot with all the other actors here for from the other shows and then we can do all the cast group shots at once, okay?” Ev nodded as she took a welcome drink and smiled, a line of people already forming to talk to her and try and snap a selfie for their social media. She greeted all of them with a practiced ease that had them feeling like they were the only person in the world with her for those few moments. It was a skill that she had honed early in her career and had fared her very well.

“I got to go check on that handsome lad over there but I’ll find you after!” She kissed Maya Rudolph’s cheeks and did her best to not get pulled aside too many times on her way to Callum.

“Must be hard to be so popular,” Gary teased as Ev hugged him tightly.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Cal mumbled as he leaned down to kiss her. She smiled against his lips and used her hand on his neck to keep him there for an extra peck.

“I can’t hide when I’ve got a bean stalk following me around so I might as well embrace the attention.” Gary laughed, her arms wrapping around Callum’s waist and cheek resting on his chest.

“You two are so good together. I take all the credit.” Gary had been there when they’d met at the chemistry. Had watched the infatuation only increase from that moment forward. Not so subtlety, Evelyn noticed his eyes flicker to her bare ring finger and deflate a little. “I’m going to go make sure everything’s set in the theater. I’ll see you both in there.” She kissed his cheek in farewell and Cal offered him a one handed hug.

“You good? Need another drink?” Evelyn shook her head and rested her chin on her chest so she could look up at him.

“I love you. Just happy to be here with you. Happy that we can keep celebrating this show that brought us together.” He dropped a kiss to her nose.

“I love you even more, how about that?” It earned him a giggle as she turned to remove herself from his embrace, Callum kissing the top of her head as she sighed.

“I’ve got a few more people to get photos with before Tracy yells at me. I’ll find you before the cast photos.”

“Love you, baby.” An arm around her shoulders pulled her back into his orbit so he could kiss her again.

“Love you, Cali Wali.” He blushed at the little nickname she normally saved for the privacy of one of their homes. “Handsome when you blush.”

“Good thing you think so cause I seem to do it a lot around you.” She almost let it slip that she hoped their future kids inherited his propensity for handsome blushing. But she bit her tongue just in time. Since their pregnancy scare a couple weeks ago, Evelyn hadn’t been able to stop thinking about a baby. Like the moment in time where it might have been true had opened a door inside of her. There was still no strong desire in her bones to get married again but now there was one to become a mother. To share in that honor with the man in front of her. “Where’d you go, Ev?” He furrowed his brows and brushed some hair from her cheek.

“Sorry. Just thinking for a minute. I’ll see you in a little bit.” With a final kiss to his cheek, she was off before he could reel her back in. She didn’t know how to broach the conversation. Didn’t know how he’d react to her rejection of his attempts at proposing but her desire to have a child. Would he feel confused? Betrayed? Like he couldn’t have what he wanted but was expected to give her what she wanted? Her hand shook as she made her way towards Karen and Josiah with a smile. The more distractions, the better.

-

Anthony gave her the loudest kiss on the cheek she had ever received and Evelyn giggled at the tickling sensation.

“Missed you, pretty girl,” he smiled as she hugged him and the cameras snapped endlessly.

“Anto, what the fuck is on your face?” she teased as she poked the facial hair.

“Swoon all you want.”

“Bel and I show up looking like ladies, Cal and Nate even shaved for this and you brought that.” Cal rested his arm around her shoulders and her hand reached up to twine their fingers together.

“You loved the mustache when Cal had it!”

“Not a great argument,” Bel cautioned.

“Okay let’s gather round and smile at the camera.” They all set their laughing aside to smile professionally, Evelyn not allowing Callum to move his hand, her arm around his waist where she stood on the end. Fully in his embrace exactly where she liked to be.

“Everyone make sure you come to the screening. Evelyn will be giving a speech!” Anthony announced to laughs from the crowd and a loving roll of Evelyn’s eyes.

“I’ll give one to spare you the pain, baby,” Callum offered.

“I’m claiming the Emmy speech, Anthony. And you won’t be mentioned if you keep up this behavior.” Anthony stuck his tongue out as she chased after him towards the theater. Everyone laughing at their sibling banter the entire way.

“Don’t let that one go.” Callum looked over at Gary.

“I’m trying my best,” he joked back. “Doesn’t get any better than her. Than this.”

He caught her gaze over her shoulder as she looked to make sure he was coming up behind her. Yeah. This. This was once in a lifetime.

[coconox]

my whb progress 2

as of apr 7, 2024

since whb's half anni has passed, i thought i'd do a progress check to reflect on how much has happened btwn now and this post

general info

lvl: 47

status: 🤨 mostly f2p

i say mostly cause i just recently broke the f2p status and bought bp for ppyong

i refuse to buy packs and in the future i'll prob be very selective over who i pick for bp (aka i wont buy every bp), so for the most part i'll just be having the f2p experience

when i started: launch (10/03 my timezone)

ver: erolabs

team setup

i finally have levi now lmao

sometimes i'll switch out one of the levis for attacker satan but this is what i use generally

everyone's lvls and artifacts

skill lvls (normal atk-ult-passive)

attacker mammon: 1-3-1

selfie mammon: 4-5-4

selfie satan: 4-4-1

selfie beel: 4-4-4

bloodshed levi: 3-3-1

selfie levi: 3-3-1

secret club

i only work on completing mammon's unholy board

stuck on needing attacker mammon's sig atm :'))

materials

too lazy to screenshot it all but im basically broke on pies, tears, pretzels (tbf i dont play the minigame whatsoever), red keys, yellow keys, and seals

everything else im either ok in supply or overflowing w it

overall thoughts / reflection

this section is for me to look back on in the future when i do progress posts. i'll break down this section into multiple parts similar to my prev post for consistency

STORY

honestly, its interesting in concept. since sadly only 1 chapter has released btwn now and my last post so thoughts havent really drastically changed

ch5 imo wasnt really a full on hades chapter. yes, it takes place in hades and yes we get some intro abt hades, but i think this was supposed to act more like a bridge to tartaros, which is prob why we didnt have any h scenes w any hades chars aside from levi. ofc we'll get back to it being hades-focused eventually, but the story for a while is most likely gonna pivot to tartaros bc of that big lore drop abt mammon at the end

i assume we'll prob be introduced to the cherubs in tartaros bc of selaphiel txting us near the end + it being mentioned at the end that theres a hub of angels in the lab, and hopefully part 2 of mammon's h scene. it was strange at first for mammon to only have 1 h scene, compared to satan or levi that had 2, but w him implying theres probably gonna be a part 2 in his h scene + we'll most likely see him again in ch6 (or however many chapters tartaros will be played out), we'll prob experience part 2 in his home country. tbh that prob just me inhaling MASSIVE hopium since mammon isnt rlly that popular but i can dream ok-

i hope us being in tartaros doesnt last for just 1 chapter. you cant condense the experiments tartaros went through to create a clone of mammon only for them to fail + bring up the fact that the seed is prob also in tartaros in just 1 chapter. well— technically you can, but not at the pace chapters are at atm. chapters have roughly 15 parts of story on the main branch, and imo that much info abt tartaros cant be condensed into 1 chapter unless if they make the story bits like WAY longer than what they normally do

GAMEPLAY

tl;dr as an endgame player, its too easy 💀

working on the spreadsheet ever since the games 1st month of release and now just recently testing multiple team comps, the "meta" is so monkos HSHFJDJ

this game is INSANELY dependent on you having more than 1 dps/tank light card. light is also just an unstoppable element and i wish the game was balanced a bit more to let other elements shine

enemies are now way too easy to defeat. ik i prob shouldnt be complaining abt this but pls im a pgr and neural cloud player at heart I NEED SOME CHALLENGE

ch3 and ch4 were prob the most tedious and awful chapters, but at least they actually made me think when it comes to battles. now i just place down chars and let it play in the bg while i go do smth else. ofc this may just be bc i have a team that im comfortable w using everywhere, but id like to see at least a bit more "challenge" outside of holy coin portal

also, for weekly achievements, lvling artifacts is not a great requirement

i only pull when theres a new s rank or when mammon is moved to standard, so its very, VERY rare compared to avg users. having the artifact req is essentially forcing me to pull during those gaps just so i could fulfill a weekly req which sucks. i also dont need to lvl anymore artifacts in general for my team comp. lvl 15 is the bare minimum i need to get through all content w ease, anything after that is just a small boost tbh

on the note of daily/weekly requirements, there needs to be more of them

i mean in a sense of theres still gonna be 9 daily achievements, but you get more options on HOW you get to the 9 daily achievement req. most gachas that ive played always have more options than necessary to fulfill the overall requirement to get all rewards, so having this strict number w strict reqs is rlly not that great tbh

RESOURCES

thoughts from last time still havent rlly changed. pies and candies especially are still rng dependent which sucks, and now there gonna revamp pancakes while also keeping the old pancakes ???? theres way too many currencies (w some even having very little to no use) atp which can and will get overwhelming for new players

GACHA

i hate solomon seals. you can tell that red keys were supposed to be the main gacha currency if you ever look at old packs, but smth happened along the way and now we have seals

pity is also way too high for what we're earning atm. based off of f2p earnings, every week we get roughly 1 pull of red keys, maybe 2 pulls of yellow keys (red and yellow keys are more dependent on the key boxes which again, dependent on rng), and 1 pull of solomon seals. this doesnt include the stuff earned outside of dailies/weeklies, and i think there should be more ways to earn said currency through dailies/weeklies and not be so dependent on either paying or pulling chars

speaking of pity, i wish we had pity for both of the standard banners

i also wish theyd separate char and artifacts into their own banners. that way, if someone has a char but needs their sig, they can just pull in the artifact-only banner and try to get said sig

tl;dr in general i wish everything wasnt so strict and rng dependent, also wish numbers made sense like why do we get at least 5 red keys a week when 1 pull is 3, JUST GIVE ME 6 KEYS ATP

so yeah thats all for now lmao. im pretty sure i have a lot more to say abt this game but my minds at a blank atm, so ig thatll be saved for the next progress post which will be around 1st anni

[summae]

can you elaborate on your goku is gay and unfit for marriage thing (also loved your kakavege)

Hi first of all thank you :) I'm glad you liked it! Second of all I can but I'm afraid people will stone me to death even though I don't think it's too controversial of an opinion, so I have to preface this by saying that while I am using canon to make a statement I am in no way saying it's the only right way of analysing Goku ok 🫶 have fun be nasty do whatever you want but don't engage this in bad faith because I'm an adult & I don't care about petty fights on the internet.

That being said, my overall opinion of Goku is that he's too Other to fit in. In any sense, he doesn't ascribe to any moral & ethical value of the human world, and how could he, he was socialised by two old men who weren't exactly paragons of virtue (and this plays another part in my analysis) & every person he's met with has only ever thought Ah this is an odd one & all the explanations possibly given fell flat to his ears. Goku can never be anything else than Goku, even before the reveal that he was a Saiyan & not from Earth, he was never going to fit in. That's how it works, you can criticise the choice but I actually think it's perfectly fine. The explanation of alien genetics aside, Goku's role in the story is one of extreme separation. Any choice a 'normal human' would make looks wrong on him. The manga establishes this very well: Goku is not a voluntary hero. He's selfish and greedy, he's childish and doesn't like when things don't go his way. He's singleminded: he fights evil not because it's his moral duty but because he wants to find his limits, he obviously cares a lot about his friends and he wants to protect them, so it's partially incidential that the evil who threatens the planet & the universe is also the evil that threatens his friends. That's why I think his choice to remain dead was at the same time the most selfless he's been & most selfish but that's besides the point.

What I am saying is that Goku isn't made to remain still in a society that wants to bind him to certain hyperspecific roles he doesn't understand. Husband and father are just not things Goku can be; he's too evanescent, he's a presence that guides and leads the narrative but he himself has little place In it, meaning the milieu he inhabits & frequents is not his and never will be, because he has no need to and most likely doesn't want to. And again, I want to stress that he does care about his friends, and he loves them, and he's willing to go to extremes to protect them, but that doesn't make Goku understand social norms. He is wild, and he will remain wild, because that's how he was raised and how he understands himself. His discipline is self imposed.

So he will never be a husband, because he can't be one. He doesn't want to be one, it's too restricting, it's a role he cannot fulfill. Same thing as a father, he doesn't understand what being fatherly entails. We can argue all day whether Goku is a good parental figure or not but on this regard I will only say that caring for your child's wellbeing does not make a good father on its own.

As for the gay aspect, it partially stems from all of this. I don't want to go for the route of 'character x never expressed interest in y gender so they are z sexuality' because that's stupid, & for Goku in specific it can be partially attributed to his childish insight but at the same time. Goku shows interest for other people, he's downright obsessed by them at times, and you can say it's because he admires their strengths but I think it can be read as more than just 'aesthetics'. I think since he was raised by two terrible men his own perception of what's normal in a relationship is askew, add to this the fact that the first people in love he's ever had prolonged contact with are Yamcha and Bulma well, you can guess what that does to a kid. There can be no romance for Goku that is heteronormative, he doesn't care. Like I said, he is selfish & I think that's what compels him. With Vegeta it's mutual obsession, and again in my reading of them as characters they never 'settle down', they'll never have a normal relationship. Vegeta might crave it but Goku is unable to give it to him, because of how fundamentally Goku he is. And to repeat myself a third time, he cares about his friends. He cares about Chi-Chi, just not in the way Chi-Chi would like.

I think what people fail to realise when reflecting on their marriage is that Chi-Chi is an extremely misogynistic character, in the sense that she's written in a very bad way. You're not supposed to like her, that's the thing. She's the shackles & the anchor & what have you, she's written like that & while the way she behaves is absolutely normal in a certain sense (she throws "fits" but they are justified lol...) I don't think erasing the fact that she's a badly written character that upholds misogynistic values in order to make her some sort of girlboss is good. A more nuanced analysis of Chi-Chi's character, and subsequently of Gochi, is what I wish people would go for. A failed marriage is much more interesting from a narrative point of view than a perfect one, and tbh I honestly can't see why people don't try to have more fun with this dynamic! But again, to each their own. I understand the need for comfort, I just don't think any relationship with Goku will bring any comfort to anyone.

Also there's a total of like five women in dragon ball so. It's like lord of the rings.

This has gotten way out of hands, a tl;dr is that I personally read Goku as an outsider from a human society perspective and thus I don't believe he will ever fulfill any kind of patriarchal heteronormative (I know how I sound) role because he hasn't been raised in these boxes and he has no desire to enter in them Now. And stemming from this my own view of the character is that Goku is much more interested in the male form & body and that the closest thing to romantic attachment he can show is obsession. You can read it as aromantic as well, I like the gayaro thing sometimes.

And AGAIN this is MY reading of the character, I am confident in my grasp of canon so I know I'm not pulling things out of thin air, but I am not saying that this is the end all be all for Goku. You can think anything you want it's within your rights & I appreciate any sort of analysis because that's what makes it fun. Ok thank you 😽

[naha-division]

Chibi Wild Shīnu (Christmas Ver.)

“Oi Naoki! are you done already? We’ve been waiting here for 20 minutes. Hurry up an get yourself done!”

“It’s no use trying to get Naoki-san here. He did say he wanted to stand out on stage for the caroling so I kinda understand why he took so long to prepare“

“He’s just wasting our time! we got 15 minutes left before we head to the train station or else we might miss our timing”

“Have patience, Ryuu-kun. A celebrity like me should make time and effort to look good in front of their fans so they can see how I’ve grown prettier. You two should done the same too”

“How long is for you to get ready? it’s just a Santa Claus costumes. All we did was getting dressed and that’s it”

“Ok I’m almost done. All I need is to fix my hair a bit……ah, it’s done. So what do you boys think? Beautiful right?”

“Woah! as expected from the prettiest man of the city. I honestly think you look way more cuter with a skirt aside you wearing kimono all the time”

“Fufu~ as always but thank you for your compliment, Kyō-kun”

“Yeah yeah you’re cute and all so can we go now?”

“Oh! before we go, can the three of us take selfies?”

“Hey that’s a great idea! Don’t leave me out the corner”

“YOU—……can’t be helped. Fine just one photo”

“Splendid! now you two come stay beside me and make such manly faces in front of the phone and……*CLICK*”

[eric-the-bmo]

The Neighborhood Watch S3 Ep2: Lost and Found

[Summary: John sees a familiar face, and Louis has a chat with Song's father. Someone from Markus's past makes a surprise visit.] @gr3y-plays-ttrpgs

This will be less formal today! Wanted to try out a more chill style again. Happy New Year btw!! <3

So, Last we left off: Shelby had gone missing.

John is trying So Hard to not panic because oh my god where's Shelby where did she go. He rolls well to Investigate, though he's visibly a bit more nervous than usual, and eventually finds a crowd! And screaming!!!

He pushes his way through and finds Shelby at the center- a crowd's gathered around her, taking pictures and selfies with her.

John is relieved- of course , everything's fine, she had just run into some fans of hers, he was overreacting- and then Shelby spots him and waves, and suddenly the crowd is looking at him!! He's a deer in the headlights as people recognize him; while he's never shown his face on camera, he's appeared in the background of Shelby's streams at times. Shelby eventually sees the attention is making him uncomfortable, so she gets the people to leave, pulls him aside, and- after they both go "hey where were you??"- she asks if he's okay, does he need some air?

John can tell that Shelby wants to stay, so he refuses the offer despite everything happening, and the two of them go to play blackjack.

But then, from the dealer's part of the table is a familiar voice: "John?" It's Clara. You know, the girl he's been avoiding for a whole month.

---

Meanwhile at the North Hotel, Song, her father, and Louis are continuing the tour. Song's father pays for lunch at one of the restaurants the hotels have; it's this New Orleans place, and it's kinda close to how Louis remembers food being back there.

Song's dad asks Louis how he likes Greenville, and our southern gentleman is all "well i was hoping it would a nice place to have an early retirement, but so far it's been... Well it's an interesting place with interesting people." He continues, and I'm counting this as another "this town is weird" rant. He says he works in personal security and finances when asked about his job, and Song's dad finds out Louis used to work for one of his branch companies.

The food arrives; they talk about Song's studies, her mom is mentioned (HELLO? IS SONG'S MOM DEAD??), and meanwhile Louis is trying so so hard to be chill and not freak out bc Man, his girlfriend's dad is really intimidating!!! Speaking of the man, he asks if they've got plans later and Song is all "yeah, cooking lessons"- which, btw: sometimes song and louis actually do cook, and sometimes they do... other stuff- howver her dad doesn't know this and is all "oh, nice! Anyway i should get going, work duties and all"

He pays for the lunch, gives Song some extra cash, and also finally introduces himself to Louis by name: Greyson. He goes to shake Louis' hand; it's a firm handshake, and Louis tries to match it. Greyson does that whole Scary Dad thing of "take care of my daughter now, ok?" and walks off.

Song tells Louis he did a great job talking to her dad! Meanwhile since Greyson left, Louis is able to show how nervous he was the whole time, holding his hurting hand like "aaa thanks darling :'-)"

Song asks Louis how he ended up here anyway- Louis said he had a lot of heat on him (his vampiric ex, a detective, etc), and when he found out he won a raffle he didn't even enter for a house, he took the chance and left. They have a whole conversation I unfortunately didn't catch, about fate and coincidences.

Song kisses Louis against the wall and heads into the casino to find Shelby and John. Louis is extremely flustered before he goes to follow.

Markus heads home to find a tourist couple waiting outside their house, asking if it's the bug museum that was listed on Google Maps, because they would like a tour! Markus is like "oh my god my house is a location on google maps now?? what the fuck???" but gives them the tour anyway.

They're very attentive, asking all sorts of questions- at first Markus is socially anxious about it, but eventually the joy of their special interest takes over, and they ramble about it ☆

But Markus only has enough social energy, and it turns out the tourists paid enough to come back The Next Day, and as they leave Markus leans against the wall, dreading more social interaction.

There's a knock on the door.

Markus goes to open it ("I swear if it's that rat-summoning creep again-") and upon seeing who it is they immediately slam it shut. After the shock wears off, they slowly open it again.

They ask their sister, Analetta, how she managed to find them.

She holds up her phone- Google maps. ("Do our parents know where I am?" "No, they don't.") She hugs them, crying, and while Markus hugs back they reassure her that everything is fine? There's no reason to cry?? ("I mean, I don't have a car but besides that everything's fine-")

Analette says Markus had just disappeared without telling anyone- Markus is like "Do you blame me?" They tell her they vanished because a way to leave home had suddenly appeared for them, and they didn't know if a chance like that would ever show up again; They didn't really have to take things or people with them.

Analetta tells them she managed to visit them by saying she's studying abroad ("oh thank god you didn't move here"), and Markus apologizes for slamming the door in her face. They ask if she'd like to meet their friends. Analetta's like "oh my god? you have friends??" and pokes fun at their sibling when they mention Shelby. Markus is all "No it's not like that, she's my friend," and the two argue over who's going to pay for the food they're going to get from the only DoorDash guy in town (who, btw, is also the only weed dealer in town- they get some of that too).

As they eat sushi Markus fills her in on everything, and while she knows about their bugs, they omit the rest of the supernatural stuff- they don't wanna drag her into all of this. Analetta says that life got harder back home when Markus left, and while she's trying to live the life her parents want her to live, it's killing her inside. She took an opportunity to leave, and wanted to visit Markus one last time. They say she can stay as long as she wants, and might take them up on it; She's actually supposed to be in Japan right now.

Markus sends a text to the group chat so the Main Cast can their sister.

In the hotel, Song and Louis finally get a text notif for the message, which reads: “PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE ITS SUPER IMPORTANT PLEASE!!!!!”

Louis texts back like "Hey sorry we got this late, is it still possible to come over?"

“YES STILL AT HOUSE PLEASE HURRY”

Song and Louis are all "ok we should find shelby and john," and they bump into Sammy on the way over– he helps one of them up, since he accidentally knocked one of them onto the floor.

Meanwhile, John is in a social scenario hell- yes, Clara is here, being kinda cold and professional (and part of him wonders if she's making sure he keeps losing), but you wanna know who else is here? Harold, that little creep who was really rude to Shelby last season!! John hates this man- He manages to scare him off by Staring at him with his monster eyes.

At this point, Song and Louis show up like "hey, we got a text from Markus and they want us to come over, and we don't wanna disappoint them like last time." (John doesn't say anything about how he actually visited them last time they asked, so-)

(Shelby notices that hey, yeah, the cell service is shit here in this casino!)

Anyway, so John and Shelby get up to leave but Clara insists that John cash in his chips- as she's doing this for him, she discreetly hands him a small note. He catches the vibe he should look at it later, and leaves the Casino with the Main Cast. As they leave, everyone's phone clocks correct themselves to match the current time outside the casino- it's currently around 3pm. John trails behind the group as usual, and opens the note to read it.

"Meet me out front at 5:30 after my shift."

Notes/Commentary:

I forgot Shelby was lowkey a celebrity lmao

It's canon that every single photo of John is a little bit blurry! That's so funny <3

Hi. Something about John sacrificing small bits of comfort (ie not leaving the casino to chill out) bc he wants Shelby to be okay/not leave her.... he has issues

Hey Song. What's with your mom, did she leave? die? what's up??

The GM informed me later that casino workers are meant to be all formal and not show favoritism at their jobs, right, and Sir i think she was doing the Opposite of favoritism /lh

John being able to initimidate people is very cool, thank you GM

MARKUS LORE MARKUS LORE

I was? Not aware our guys had a group chat??

SAMMY?? SIR?? weren't u being kidnapped earlier whats going on /lh

My notes say "Song easily finds John bc he's tall as fuck"

The players are placing bets (/j) on if Clara is a secret monster hunter or not-

John is fully expecting to get yelled at by her btw :-(

I so badly want him to try and date her or somehting. please for the love of god can john actually kiss someone and be really nervous about it bc he's never done that before and wants to try it out, and maybe he'll have to roll for Hunger bc his teeth are So So close to human flesh and it'll just be Dramatic <3

[justjessame]

Light Through the Darkness: Chapter 37

Mystic Falls, VA~ Late January 2010

Abigail was perched tensely on the seat beside Damon, looking as comfortable as if she'd been seated on a pincushion or a ticking time bomb.

"Relax, Abigail," he said, reaching over to take her hand. "Car travel isn't that different from horse drawn."

She allowed him her hand, but shot him an incredulous look. "Not much different?!" Her voice was strained. "We're traveling at breakneck speeds, in a roaring box on wheels, with no discernable means to explain our movement. I find your logic extremely faulty, Damon."

"Then let's take your mind off of it." He offered, as he drove toward the spot where her home had once stood. "Ask me all those questions you're burning to ask."

Her hand's grip tightened on his as he made a sharp turn. "OK, I've been away for over one hundred years. Aside from the clothes and the transportation, what else has changed?"

He smiled and launched into an explanation about air travel, cell phones, computers, and all the things she would be most interested in learning about. He handed her his cellphone, and watched as she played with the screen, learning the ins and outs of at least one technological marvel. She was a fast learner, and mastered the apps one by one, finding the photo gallery app finally. She was swiping through his photos when she came to one that made her gasp.

Closing his eyes and swallowing a curse, he'd forgotten the selfie with Elena in Atlanta. "Abigail, it isn't what you think."

"Then explain, Damon." She whispered, handing his phone back and fighting tears. "Katherine's alive then?"

Shit, he'd wanted more time to prepare her, but here she was going straight for the most uncomfortable truths first. "Yes, but that photo isn't her."

He could feel her staring at him and knew she expected more information. "Her name is Elena Gilbert. She's Stefan's girlfriend, Abigail." The dark chuckle that ripped from her throat warned him, but knowing she could see through any deception kept him talking. "She is, Abigail. They're happy, even after she learned what he is."

"Why are you here, Damon?" She asked, knowing he would understand she meant Mystic Falls, now. "If you aren't lying about the year, and we both know I'd know if you were, then you spent nearly 150 years away. What brought you back?" She felt the darkness, pressing down, choking her with certainty that pain was coming.

He swallowed hard and took a long, deep breath. Steeling himself, knowing he was about to hurt them both. "I came back to free Katherine from the tomb under Fells' Church." He said it in a rush, hoping the purge would make it easier, faster. "Emily didn't just save you, she saved Katherine."

Silently she allowed her tears to fall. She still needed more, a deeper cut, perhaps to finally cleave them in two. "And did you? Free Katherine, I mean." She was pleased that her voice had regained steadiness at least.

"She wasn't inside." He confessed. "She had made another plan, with the mayor's son. She was never inside."

And so, Abigail concluded, he'd transferred those feelings to Elena. Once again brothers obsessed with the same woman, terrifyingly identical to the first. And she was left an afterthought, again.

"How long have you known I was still trapped?" She asked, guessing that he'd made an assumption about her freedom.

"Almost five months," his voice was barely audible, but was clearly confirmation.

"Stop the car, Damon." She demanded, not raising her voice, not needing to. "Now."

He slowed down and pulled over to the safety of the shoulder of the road. He noticed that her cheeks were damp and knew he was the cause. "Abigail," he tried, but with one hand she silenced him.

"No," she said, sounding frighteningly reasonable. "Don't, Damon, I need to have my say, and then I'll continue on to my errand, alone."

His heart clenched, she was finished. He'd finally done it, ruined every single chance at real happiness.

"I was trapped, alone except for shadows of everyone I'd lost. For 146 years I dealt with my grief, pain, guilt, frustration, fear, and anger without distraction, without visitors, without you." She glanced up and captured his gaze. "I assume you thought I had freed myself long ago, but I don't know if that's the truth or a prayer that you didn't completely forget me. I'm lying to myself, aren't I?" She smiled sadly at the tightening of his eyes. "If I learned anything from dealing with all that emotional baggage, it's that those lies do nothing and don't end well." She opened the passenger door, but before she stepped out, she cut off his final hope for the two of them. "I've been in this story before, Damon. You and Stefan absolutely obsessed with Katherine or Elena. I'm not the heroine of this tale, I'm the victim. I won't allow it to happen to me again." She stepped out of the car. "Thank you, for the short guide to my new reality and for the clothes. Goodbye, Damon, and consider the invitation to my home rescinded."

She turned and walked regally across the field they were parked beside. Her former homestead wasn't far, and he knew she'd be safe. As he watched her leave him behind he had to wonder if he was a self fulfilling prophecy of what his father always believed about him. Because he clearly ruined the one good thing left for him.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Get ready n’ go.

Hey!

Morning everyone!

Greetings.

*Kaede and Kaito show up, both with their bags packed. Kaede has a suitcase, while Kaito has a small backpack.

The comparison is way too obvious.

Kaito, is that all you’re bringing?

Well’s only for a few weeks, yeah? I can make do with this.

How’s everyone else for stuff? We all packed?

I took the liberty of packing all our suitcases last night. We’ll have no problems on our front.

Gonta want to do suitcase himself but...Gonta not very organized. Kirumi manage to make Gonta’s suitcase easily accessible.

Nyeeeeh...

Woah, Himiko, you look like you’re about to fall on your face and fall asleep. You ok?

Yeah, I’m alright. It’s just...last night, I got so excited about the trip, I couldn’t sleep.

Now I’m tired...I’m out of energy before the day’s even begun.

Well, I’ve got good news for you in that case.

Ah, the prized chaperone himself.

With some...company it seems...

Yo.

You are...?

Kibin Hatsudoki. Enigma Assassin (formerly), and this dweebs girlfriend...

And also your auxiliary chaperone.

*Kibin and Keebo shake hands.

Oh, I know you! I don’t think we’ve talked before now.

But, wait, auxiliary chaperone? You’re coming with us?

Since you guys weren’t quick to trust me with your safety, I called in backup. Two heads are better than one after all.

Oh, we have a girl too! Perfect! I have no more qualms.

You’re an easy one to please, aren’t you?

Anyway, as I was saying, the drive to the site is about 4 hours, 8 depending on whether or not we have to take a few detours. If you’re tired, rest on the coach.

I’ll do that...

Where’s Shuichi anyway?

He’s arriving with Boss in a second. He just got pulled aside to talk about something.

Ooh! I know! Why don’t we take a group selfie before we head out? 

Um...why?

Customary!

Alright...?

Bitchin’ lemme in this!

I’ll be the cameraman!

Let me join in too!

You too Maki!

Uh...alright.

Will everyone even fit?

No worries! Gonta squeeze himself in!

This is embarrassing...

*Kaito takes the photo of everyone who gets in frame.

Looks like the fun’s already started...

*Shuichi and Makoto arrive at the scene.

...

Are you ok? 

It just worries me that everyone is kinda quick to treat this as if it’s a holiday of some kind.

We’re ultimately here for an assignment, but it worries me that everyone isn’t treating it as such.

Well, I don’t think it’s the kind of assignment that you have to put 100% attention into. The lax behavior isn’t unwarranted.

I know, and I understand everyone’s excitement...

*Shuichi looks over at the group.

...

Especially Kaede...She dreamed of this, you know?

Dreamed of what? Going to a forest camp?

No, nothing to do with the camp...During the Killing Game, she only ever had one goal...

To get us all our safely...so that we could continue to be friends when all was said and done.

I, of all people, refuse to be the one who ruins it for her now that that dream has come true.

I see. You’re a good friend Shuichi. And an even better boyfriend.

You’re just gushing me up now.

Haha! Maybe...But look at it this way.

I understand your concerns, but look at them. They’re all happy. And they’re smiling. Beats having to live in the state of miserable affairs like the last few months, don’t you think?

When you put it like that...I guess you’re right. I’ll just drop it in that case.

Huh?

Ah! There you are!

*Shuichi and Makoto finally approach the cheery group, with Kaede being the first to notice them.

Hey everyone! It’s around time to head out, but before you go, there’s a few things I need to discuss with you all. I’d really appreciate it if you payed attention.

*Everyone stops mumbling and stands attentively, listening to Makoto.

Ok, first and foremost, I’m leaving you all responsible for looking after Ryoma Hoshi.

As a reminder, he’s not a member of the Future Foundation, so anything that could happen to him out there is for you to solve as a group. Do I make myself clear.

It’s ok. I trust you guys.

*Everyone nods.

Second of all, I understand if some of you have your differences, or your reservations about your chaperone.

But know that after seeking approval, and going through some discussions, Byakuya Togami, the current Acting Chairman, has agreed to allow Kuripa, and his partner, Kibin, to take care of you and look out for you while you’re on sight.

Wait, Byakuya gave him the go ahead after all?

He must’ve done if Kuripa’s even still here...

But I thought those two hated each other’s guts?

All I want to say is that I would trust; and to be honest HAVE trusted, Kuripa with my life, and he has never let me down. You guys are in good hands.

Thanks boss. I won’t let you down.

*Kuripa nods his head, and winks at the group.

Lastly...and I REALLY need you to pay attention to this one, it’s HIGHLY important.

Wh-What?

It is of the utmost importance...

That NOBODY tells ANYONE outside of this group here about the location of this camp. It is sworn to utter secrecy from this point forward.

Woah...I did not expect that...

Alright, we will, but...may I ask why it’s so secret? What’s going on there?

Nothing of note. This isn’t for our sake, but for yours.

Ours?

One thing you should remember is that the camp has no weapons, or reinforcements. If you’re attacked, you’ll have nothing to rely on but your own wit.

Zetsubou are still out there, and the last thing we want is for you kids to be in any sort of danger, while you’re miles away from any sort of aid or help.

That said, there are emergency phones and ways of contacting us on sight. If anything goes super bad, just call us and we’ll get there as soon as we can...which considering the distance, in itself that may be tricky.

Jeez...sounds like we’re in a rock and hard place...

It’ll be fine. Big bro’s got his blade at the ready whenever he needs it.

You’re not our bro!

Anyway, that’s all. Just promise me that you’ll keep that in mind, and you can get going.

Have a nice trip. See you later.

Bye Mr Naegi!

*Everyone waves goodbye to Makoto and eventually, everyone boards the bus. However...

So, who is it that’s driving this thing again?

Huh? Oh, I will. Though I’d appreciate someone taking over for me if you’re offering.

I can’t drive...can you?

Sure I can! It’s like a car...but longer...

That doesn’t give me hope.

Sure you can’t drive? I mean, it’s like playing a piano, isn’t it?

You can’t compare a land vehicle to a piano because they both have keys and pedals.

Anyway, why’d you bring me out like this? Surely it wasn’t just to make a joke?

No. This is to remain between us, but there’s another reason why I took this job aside from just watching you guys.

Huh?

Wait...do you mean...!?

...

*Kuripa pats Kaede on the shoulder and begins to walk towards the coach door.

We start training after two nights, so you can have time to get settled in.

I warn you. I’ve never instructed anyone on weapon fighting before, but I’m not an easygoing teacher. Don’t expect any sympathy from me...

*He pulls himself closer and whispers in Kaede’s ear.

I’m not a sport when I fight Akamatsu, and I’m not an honourable warrior like Ogami, Pekoyama, or even Mukuro...

I’m a living, breathing weapon...and I’m gonna turn you into the same...

...

*Kaede gulps, and then Kuripa lets her go and heads into the coach.

Hey, lighten up kid. Just needed to mention it.

Now c’mon. Everyone’s waiting for you.

...right...

*Kaede gets on the coach, and everyone finally heads out.

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Grey Boxes.

Thank you again @beccabarba for being my Bishop Beta.

This part came about WAY sooner then I had expected, but its based on that bare chested selfie that Michael posted a little while ago cause it was too yummy.

WC: 2034

Warnings: Other then smut, nothing much really then story follow on.

*Grey Leather*

*Grey Uniform*

*Grey Dress*

*Grey Vase*

*Grey Blanket*

*Grey Jeans*

Enjoy x

The house was filled with people going in and out to the moving truck, bringing in the couple of bits of furniture you had and the few grey boxes from the back of it. Bishop had asked all the guys to help, your parents had come over too, and your Aunty came to cook for everyone. It didn’t take long to move everything in. A small two seat couch, Rosa keeping the 3 seater for her place, and another dresser and wardrobe for the bedroom for your clothes. You had gotten rid of your bed and Rosa kept everything else for the granny flat that she was moving into the following week, just next door. You were surprised your parents mixed so well with the rest of the guys in the club that they didn’t know and your Mum and Aunty enjoyed waiting on them making sure they were well fed and hydrated.  

The day was hot, Bishop’s air con not able to keep up with all the body heat and the hot stove in the small kitchen, it was actually much cooler outside then in. The music was flowing through the house while Rosa helped you hang up and put away your clothes in the cupboard and dresser,

“I want to thank you babe”  

“For what?” Rosa looked over at you as she hung a dress on a coat hanger.

“If you hadn’t taken me to that party that night”

“Oh babe” Rosa hung up the coat hanger and grabbed you wrapping her arms around you “You don’t need to thank me. Who would have known you and Bishop...” She pulled back grabbing your hands “I ‘am so happy for you, he is a good man. And Papa and Mami look happy with it all”  

You nodded when you heard loud laughter and you both poked your head out of the bedroom door looking into the lounge room, your Dad sitting between Hank and Taza, Bishop standing in front of them as they talked and laughed together. Bishop looked over at you giving you a wink and you grinned back.  

“You going to be ok staying with Coco still?” you looked back at Rosa and she nodded.

“Yeah. It will be good for Letty to have another woman around”

Slowly everyone started to leave, hot with full bellies, your Aunty and Mum sending them all home with some extra food. You were in the kitchen with your Mum, Aunty and Rosa tiding up and washing up, your Dad in the lounge room with Bishop,

“I’ am so happy for you sweetie” Your mum looked over at you, “Obispo is a good man”

“Thank you Mumma. He is a good man” you looked back down at the dish you were washing when you all heard someone clear their throat from behind you.

You looked over your shoulder to Bishop standing just behind Marcus who was holding a bunch of flowers and two white envelops.

“Hey Marcus” you sat the dish in the sink grabbing a tea towel drying your hands and walking towards him giving him a kiss on the cheek,

“Y/N, nice to see you again”  

“Likewise. Marcus, this is mi Mamma, mi Tia and you remember Rosa”  

Marcus smiled at them all and then handed you the bunch of flowers,

“These are from Erin, Emily and Miguel to congratulate you on your move in”

You looked at Bishop and rolled your eyes, “Baby,” he chuckled “That’s nice of them” and you scoffed.

“These are for you and Rosa” Marcus handed one envelop to you and one to Rosa.

“Thank you” you and Rosa said together.

“Are you hungry? There are some pupusa’s left”

“That would be nice” Marcus smiled at you and Bishop took Marcus into the lounge room while your Aunty fixed Marcus a plate serving it to him.

You set the flowers on the table and you and Rosa walked out to sit on the small step at the front,

“You first” you looked over at Rosa.  

Rosa opened the envelope and pulled out a birthday invite for Cristobal. Rosa looked over at you and nodded towards your envelope. You took in a deep breath opening it and pulled out an invite addressed to you and Bishop, a small piece of folded paper falling at your feet. You lent down picking it up, unfolding it starring at the words in Emily’s writing, Rosa looking over your shoulder,

“I’ am sorry. Can we try again?”    

You looked over at Rosa, chewing on your bottom lip. Folding the piece of paper and stuffing it back in the envelop with the invite,

“We need a beer” Rosa stood up squeezing your shoulder and walking inside into the kitchen.

You were looking out into the street when you felt hands come to rest on both of your shoulders giving them a squeeze, then you felt lips on top of your head, and he moved to sit down next to you on the step wrapping an arm around you, pulling you into his side,

“Everything ok baby?”

You gave him a small tight smile and lent your head on his shoulder,

“Yeah, it was an invite to Cristobal’s birthday and a sorry note” Bishop nodded and ran his hand up and down your arm “How did they find out I was moving in? Rosa didn’t tell them, was it Marcus?”

“No. I told Galindo”

“Why?” You frowned at him.

“Miguel was on call while everything was going down. He was the only other person that knew where you were in case I needed him to take care of you. He was the only other person I knew that would do anything to protect you if he needed to. I just had to make the call.”

“I-ah ok” you nodded your head and looked up at him, your eyes running over his face when he looked down at you.

“I called him when we were back safe. He gave me an update on the granny flat and he asked where you were moving to if Rosa was moving in there, and I told him - with me”

“Miguel owns the granny flat?”

“He owns the house, that’s why it got built so quickly. He’s not a bad man baby”  

“I know” you muttered “But Emily-” you trailed off.

“We will go for the kid, have some cake and go home”

The rest of the evening had been fun, the music was flowing through the house again after your Mum, Dad, Aunty and Marcus had left to go home and Rosa helped hang up the rest of the clothes before she said goodnight to Bishop, kissing him on the cheek, and you walked her out to car for her to head back to Coco’s.  

You walked back into house after saying bye to her, closing and locking the front door behind you. As you walked up the hall to get a glass of water, you walked past the bedroom. Looking at the sight on the bed, your core clenched around nothing and you felt your panties dampen. Bishop was laying in the middle of it, boots gone, shirtless, just in jeans and one arm resting over his face. You tip toed in quietly, slipping off your shorts letting them fall to the floor, followed by your t-shirt and bra.

You climbed onto the end of the bed crawling between Bishop’s legs, leaning down, your lips landing just above his belt buckle and boxers. His course black hair igniting your body on fire from the feel of it on your lips. A groan left Bishop’s lips and his hands came to either side of your head, threading into your hair as you kissed along the waist of his boxers, licking and nipping over his pelvic bones, kissing back to the middle of his tummy and up over his belly button.

You moaned into his skin as your nipples brushed over the tops of his jeans and then onto his boiling hot skin, Bishop's rough hands running out of your hair, down over your neck and arms and back up again. You kissed up to his abs, sucking and nipping over the protruding muscles, but not enough to mark him. You made your way up to his nipples, moving to straddle his middle and you started to grind down on his hardening length when you took one nipple into your mouth, flattening your tongue, licking over it and then flicking it with the tip of it, doing the same thing on the other side, the saltiness of his skin coating your tongue, kissing up over his shoulders, up around his neck, up over his chin and finally kissing him deeply.  

Both of Bishop’s hands moved down to grab your ass cheeks through your panties, pushing you down on him more as you grinded against him. You both swallowed each other’s moans before you pulled back looking down at Bishop’s slack jaw and his heavy lidded eyes,

“It’s official now, baby”

“It is” you purred back.  

You moved to get up off Bishop, moving yourself to throw your leg over his chest, your behind up in his face. Bishop started to run his hands up the insides of your thighs, playing with your panty line, nipping at the top of the backs of your thighs as you undid his belt buckle, button and zipper, pushing them down as far as you could, Bishop’s hard thick cock springing free to stand tall, his tip glistening with pre cum.  

You wrapped your hand around him and started to stroke him and licking at his sensitive tip. Bishop gripped the inside of your thighs letting out a loud grunt at the feeling of your tongue moving around him before you sunk down on him taking him as far as you could. Bishop could feel your wet seeping out of your panties onto his chest and how you were trying to move your hips over him trying to find some friction for your own need. Bishop gripped onto the inside of your thighs again pulling your core back onto his face, moaning around him when you felt his tongue brush over your core through your panties. You pulled off Bishop with a pop wrapping your hand around his base, flattening your tongue running it up the length of him before taking him back into your mouth,

“Fuck” Bishop swore into your centre and bucked his hips up into you making you gag around him slightly.

Bishop hooked his finger into your panties and pulled them aside, his lips first taking your swollen pearl between them sucking on it before pushing his tongue into your hot wet centre lapping at your juices. Bishop brought up his other hand resting it on your lower back pushing your core down onto his mouth more.

You fastened your pace on him with your mouth and jerking him off at the same time, your free hand going down to cup his balls rolling and squeezing them slightly in your hand. Bishop started to buck up into your mouth when he hit the back of your throat and he felt your walls fluttering around his tongue. He took your clit between his lips sucking on it and thrusted in two fingers hard and fast, his thumb still holding your panties out of the way.

You pulled off Bishop with a pop, your mouth dropping open grinding down harder on his face, his beard rubbing against your skin making your skin prickle and your hand still stroking him fast as moans, groans and his name ran out of your mouth, your release washing over you. Bishop removed his fingers and his mouth as you came back down, taking him back into your mouth, both his hands back on your thighs in a bruising grip. A loud roar slipped from Bishops mouth as his body stilled and his hot salty cum spurted into your mouth and ran down the back of your throat.

You collapsed off Bishop onto your back when he tapped your thigh that he was done. You both laid there breathless, both staring up at the ceiling, Bishop’s hand running up and down your thigh,

“I’ am glad you’re here baby” Bishop squeezed your thigh.

You sat up and moved to lay on top of him, your hands going up to thread into his hair. “Me too” you brushed your nose over his “Think you’re going to handle living with me?”  

“The granny flat is two bedrooms just in case” you both laughed and you grinned down at him “I’am excited to come home to you baby”

“I’am excited for you to come home to me too”

Tags: @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​ @withmyteeth​ @alwaysachorusgirl​

[raindancer2004]

“Call me Loki”

Word Count: 1,280 Demetri x reader Oneshot Warnings: Fluff, NSFW

NSFW Prompt: 6 and 27 from the nsfw list and of course for demetri please honey 🍯 For @vamp-army​

Y/N is a huge fan of Marvel; the films and comics, she even has POP! figures of some of her favourite characters. Y/N introduced Demetri to the Marvel Cinematic Universe when she moved into the castle and he enjoyed the films. He even read her comics whilst she slept being careful with them as he knew they meant a lot to his mate.  

“Grab the blindfold” Demetri called out to Y/N who was in the closet “What? Why?” She called back “Just do it darling, please. I have a surprise for you” He called back “Ok” She sighed and grabbed the blindfold from the ‘sexy drawer’ in their closet.

Y/N stepped out of the closet holding the blindfold in her hand “Put it on darling please” He smiled and watched as she put the blindfold on. He stepped forward and gently took her hand in his, guiding her out onto the balcony “Take a seat” He guided her to a chair and poured her a glass of Prosecco “You can take the blindfold off now” She removed it and gasped looking at the table in front of her. There was a vase filled with Roses, a Belgian Waffle topped with Strawberries and Maple Syrup, an ice bucket which held the Prosecco bottle and a glass of blood for Demetri. He took a seat opposite her and handed her an envelope “Here this is for you” She opened the envelope to discover two tickets to the upcoming Comic Convention in London. She smiled at him “Thank you babe. B-But how? They’re hard to get” “Luckily for me I don’t sleep so I queued in that online waiting room you received a link for, for seven hours and was able to purchase two tickets. I figured this is something you would like to tick off your ‘Bucket List’” Y/N got up from the chair and walked over to Demetri wrapping her arms around his neck “You’re the best” She pressed her lips to his “You’re the best too and I know that you were trying to get tickets…so I stepped in and helped” He replied smiling at her before capturing her lips with his.

A few days later and Gianna came up to Demetri and Y/N’s shared room with a few packages. She knocked on the door and waited for a moment until Demetri answered the door “I have packages for Y/N” She smiled at him before Y/N screamed “They’re here. They’re here.” She took the packages from Gianna “Thanks G” “You’re welcome Y/N” She replied chuckling “Good luck with her” Gianna said nodding at Y/N before turning to leave “Thanks, I think I’ll need it Gianna” He replied before closing the door.

“What’s in the packages darling?” He asked as he came to stand beside her “Costumes” She replied simply and continued to open the packages “Costumes?...” She nodded “…Costumes for what?” He asked “For the convention Dem. I figured we could dress up especially since it’s your first time at a convention” “Ok…What costume am I wearing?” He asked “You are going as Loki, God of Mischief” “Ok, I like the sound of that. Who are you going as?” He replied “Scarlet Witch” She replied and turned to face him and he nodded approvingly at her choice of costume “Thank you for doing this Demi” “Anything for you darling.” He kissed her temple.

One month later they arrive in London the day before the convention and make their way to their hotel. Y/N unpacks their costumes and hangs them up in the wardrobe along with a few other items. Demetri could tell how excited Y/N was to be in London and to be attending the convention as she hadn’t stopped smiling since they boarded the plane back in Italy. He was looking forward to sharing the experience with her and the fact that this was something she was passionate about made this trip all the more special. 

The following morning Y/N got dressed as Scarlet Witch and Demetri put on Loki’s costume and stood side by side in the mirror. “Wow” Demetri breathed when he saw his mate all dressed up “You look good too handsome” She told him before grabbing her phone and taking a selfie of the two of them all dressed up.

Once at the convention Demetri was amazed at how many people had dressed up for the event and the wide variety of characters chosen. Y/N’s eyes lit up the moment she entered the venue and he was pleased that he had managed to do this for her, as this would be a lasting memory for her. He bought them both a t-shirt as a memento of the day.

They attended a few of the panels that were on that day although Demetri didn’t like seeing Y/N look at her favourite actor Tom who played her favourite male character Loki with what only could be described as heart eyes. He realised that he was jealous, jealous of some human and he didn’t like it, not one bit so he decided he would ‘punish’ her for making him feel that way.

They arrive back at their hotel and Demetri decides that the only ‘Loki’ that gets to be with Y/N is him. “Stay in your outfit darling” He said as he gently grabbed her wrist to prevent her from entering the bathroom. Demetri pushed Y/N up against the wall of their hotel room and captured her lips with his in a rough but passionate kiss. She moaned into kiss and pulled him closer, her hands moving to his ass and giving it a squeeze. He growled low and kissed along her jawline towards her neck and he could tell she was getting aroused and smiled against her neck. His hands moved lower and undid her trousers and let them fall to the floor and moved them aside with his foot.

“Demetri…please” “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh” Demetri told her as he used his thigh to part her legs “Why?” “Because you were looking at that Tom guy with heart eyes earlier” “Oh” She chuckled lightly “It’s not funny darling” He growled “It is a little funny. You my gorgeous, sexy vampire got jealous over a mere human, a human who just happens to be one of my favourite actors” “Seeing as you like Loki so much, you will call me Loki whilst you ride my thigh otherwise you won’t be getting off at all.” He said as he looked into her eyes and she nodded.

She kissed him, nipping at his bottom lip asking for entrance. As their tongues danced together Y/N grinded against Demetri’s thigh feeling the much needed friction against her clit and a sigh slipped past her lips. She continued to move against his thigh, riding him as the familiar feeling began to build low in her abdomen. “Loki…” “I know darling…relax…come for me” He replied low as one hand moved to her breast and gave it a squeeze before massaging it gently. His other hand on her waist as her movements sped up a little as she chased her release. A few moments later and the knot broke “Loki” She cried out as her release washed over her, some of her release leaking out of her and coating his costume covered leg “That’s my girl” Demetri praised her and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close as she came down from her high. “I love you Demi” She said as her head lay against her chest “I love you too darling and how about we share a bath” He replied and she nodded “I’d like that.”

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

Rewatch of ep1 time!!

The little girl dressed as Nat in the theatre smiling at Clint 😭

Dude asking Clint for a selfie in the bathroom still gets me (but also how damn sad he is to see people scribble shit like Thanos was right)

He looks so awkward when the restaurant offer his meal for free, it breaks my heart that he thinks he’s not worthy of any of that

Kate really does look amazing in a tux

I love that Kates first instinct upon seeing a dog is to say hi and talk to it

“What’s your name?” / “that’s the problem, Gary, you don’t even know my name”

Kate being able to sort of hold her own again the Tracksuit Mafia but Not being able to get out of Clint’s grip at the end makes me feel things I don’t understand ahah

But also Clint just straight up taking them all out it’s the COMPETENCE Amy I can’t 😂🙈

OK, OK, OK SO...

The writers of this show are a blessing for recognizing that clint is so thoroughly underappreciated both in and out of the mcu. Like, the obvious part of this is how he reacts to Kate adoring him and being so excited to meet him, but just the little moments like the girl and the waitstaff and GRILLS. My boy finally getting recognition and I love that for him.

Kate is me and I am Kate: chatting to puppers and wants nothing more in life than for Hawkeye to like her.

This phase marvel really said "we are going to give you so many well-rounded, relatable, badass women" and I am HERE for it. Like, I already loved Katie, but they put their whole ass into giving her the debut she deserves and hailee is amazing.

I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH HOW STRONG CLINT IS FOR EVER. Ok, so comic!clint's pull strength on a bow is about 250kg. Most olympic level archers have a pull strength of about 60-70kg. MAN IS STRONG. MAN COULD PICK ME UP AND THROW ME INTO A WALL AND I WOULD THANK HIM.

He might not have supersoldier serum or anything but Clint could one-hit a guy no problem. Also, many wall-pinning thoughts and feelings have arisen from this scene, thank you very much.

I feel like the only real look we got at spy-clint in the movies was (aside from his 'I need an eyeball", taking out the guards bit while under loki's control in avengers) is him using morse code to contact nat in AoU?? And we were OVERDUE to see him like this. THE MAN IS A BADASS. NO POWERS, JUST RAW SKILL AND SARCASM

[decodingellipses]

Modern Love: He Made Affection Feel Simple

[courtesy of Brian Rea]

"Dating as a transgender woman, in my experience, meant low expectations and casual sex. Then I met Jack."

This piece is part of the Modern Love column at The New York Times

by Denny

My bio on Grindr read: “Be trans friendly. Send face to chat.”

It was difficult to be on a gay hookup app as a trans woman. Most men in my feed desired to only sleep with each other. But I knew there were straight men on Grindr who hungered for a woman like me. I wanted them too.

That’s where I met Jack. At 22, he was a few months older than me, and, other than his age, his entire profile was blank, usually an indicator of a cisgender straight man who was guarded about his attraction to trans women. Typically, the messages I received would start with a vulgar sext, sometimes an unwanted nude photo.

Living in Morningside Heights, I was attending Fordham University for my master’s degree in strategic communication. One night I was up late working when I received a Grindr message from him, a selfie. Amid his light brown hair, two-day scruff and meek gaze, his lacrosse T-shirt stood out to me the most. He looked like a sporty boy I would have crushed on in high school.

He followed up his photo with “Hello.”

Messages in my Grindr inbox tended to cut to the chase: “Down for now?” “Car sesh?” Men who contacted me because they fantasized about trans women made it difficult for me to feel seen as a person in general, let alone a person worthy of respect.

Although my interest was piqued by Jack’s picture, it was his gentleness that drew me in.

Our sporadic small talk was harmless, spanning two months. I brushed him off, but as I commuted to school and spent hours in the library, he was persistent.

“My sex drive is pretty low these days,” I wrote. “Give me a bit and I’ll hit you up.”

“OK.”

When I turned back to my studies, he added, “Just so you know, we can do non-sex things and hang out too. It would be fun.”

This became our pattern: he being distant enough to show interest without pressure, and me appreciating his laxity, given my demanding schoolwork. His ease led me to trust him, so we set up a day to meet.

The first afternoon Jack came over, he admired my bathtub and drank his cup of water with two hands. His poised demeanor in a beige wool peacoat and long scarf reminded me, in a good way, of John Bender in “The Breakfast Club.” In my bedroom, he fixated on my yellow Power Ranger figurines, noticing my framed academic award next to them on the windowsill.

“You went to SUNY Oneonta?” he said. “I went to SUNY Potsdam.”

I pictured my friends who also attended Potsdam eating in the same cafeteria as Jack, getting drunk at the same frat party. Suddenly, the person I’d seen as a stranger now fit into my world.

I imagined what the deer looked like from his dorm room window, roaming the grass at dawn. Or how he spent his day when the school canceled classes because of snow. Or where he would have gone if his parents were able to afford private school.

We sat on my bed, my back leaning against the wall. He slouched his head onto my hip and wrapped his arms around my waist. “This is weird,” I thought. Aside from sexual intimacy, my hookups were typically aromantic, absent of cuddling and expressions of affection.

I kissed him and rolled on top. I took off my shirt and he hugged me tight. His face dug into my chest as he said, “I like you. I think you’re really cool.”

Unsure how I actually felt, I said, “Oh. I think you’re really cool, too.”

The next time I saw Jack, he spent the night at my place. It was then, awake in bed at 4 a.m., that I realized I had never let a guy sleep over before. His heat warmed the bed, so I crept to the bathroom to cool off. I Snapchatted a disoriented selfie to my friends, my hair messy and eyes bloodshot.

“How do you guys do this sleepover thing?” I wrote. “I can’t sleep at all.”

Customarily, my flings with strange men were brief. The men did not take note of my bathtub or my educational history before sex, and they did not linger after.

I came back into bed, disturbed by the rumble of his snoring, but his sleeping face on my pillow struck me. For the first time, the thought of sharing a bed with a man did not come from pure imagination. I now had a real image for this fantasy; I could pretend Jack was my boyfriend, reach for his face and whisper “I love you, good night,” then fall asleep and meet him somewhere in his dream as if we had done this a hundred times before.

The next day, he flew off to see his family for the holidays and the first weeks of the new year.

“merry crimmus,” I texted.

“u too, babygirl,” he replied.

After our sleepover, I didn’t hear from him unless I initiated — an unexpected change. Instead of giving in to my insecurity that the sleepover meant little to him, and therefore I meant little, I imagined other scenarios: him asking me to sleep at his place, for a change, or spontaneously calling me while I’m in line for my morning coffee. But because I had presumed a sex-only expectation from the start, I shamed myself for developing feelings.

“miss u,” he texted one random morning.

“really?”

We stayed in touch and occasionally saw each other, weeks in between. On a hot morning, he snored behind me as I sat on the floor beside my bed, working on my final thesis. He put his hand up to my face, letting me know he was awake. With my eyes on the laptop screen, I took his hand and planted kisses in his palm, wallowing in these ordinary joys — the kind of affection I slowly grew comfortable displaying.

Longing to be more than casual with him, I sought a therapist to guide me through my growing feelings.

Jack’s periodic “miss u” texts progressed with heart emojis, an unprecedented closeness. And I returned the sentiment. It felt thrilling to express my adoration so directly, until the weeks between seeing each other and texting ultimately turned into months of silence I knew to be ghosting.

I relied on Grindr as my safe dock because dating as trans is complicated. Sleeping around was easier for me. I had set the bar low, then met Jack, who saw me as more than a fantasized body, only to have his mysterious exit echo a looming insecurity I avoided for years: Being trans implies I am not real enough to deserve decency.

I broke down in therapy, mustering the courage to say out loud what was undeniably true: “He left me.”

“I don’t mean to put this on you,” my therapist said, “but could him being a cis straight man and you being a trans woman play a part?”

I didn’t want to blame Jack, who showed me a new realm of affection that made desire feel as simple as just a boy and a girl who liked each other. But he made leaving simple, too; all of this could still not be enough.

Deep down, I denied how my mere existence as a trans woman could ever cost him. Jack, in wooing me, nurtured the possibility that my romantic fantasies could come true, that I could be seen as a complex person rather than a fetishized token of someone’s imagination. After being deserted by him, I ruminated on my insecurity that being trans denied me of even a simple goodbye.

And yet I know myself to be real because my transition, as a teenager, required exceptional certainty. Doctors and psychiatrists double-checked my decision constantly.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I repeated, and I became more real each year. With Jack, I felt even realer. Not only had he seen me as a woman, but as a woman worthy of being held.

I could blame my being trans for Jack’s ghosting, but maybe it had nothing to do with that. Maybe he hated his job. Maybe his family fell apart. Maybe the pleasure we felt together contrasted whatever pain remained of our baggage.

On lonely days, I imagine myself at SUNY Potsdam. At a frat party, I drunkenly dance across from Jack, cheap blue lights grazing the curves of our cheekbones, sweat dripping like cyan fireflies. Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” roars through the party. “Good times never seemed so good,” everyone shouts. “I’ve been inclined to believe they never would.”

I put myself in the cafeteria, where Jack and I approach the salad bar at the same time. When he sees me, he steps back and says, “You go first,” with a grin so big I would need both hands to hold it.

———

Denny is a writer, actor and musician living in New York City.

[qingxintea]

➼ chongyun || hiraeth

tw: mention of knives (no violence), kidnapping, explosion _______

you angled your camera to catch your face and upper body correctly and adjusted your blinds for the correct lighting. you put thin pieces of yellow and pink paper over your lamp to give off a sunset lighting sort of aesthetic in your minimalist room. your tiny cacao tree sat in the corner of your room, setting some sort of simple beach vibe.

then, you began to stream.

you watched as majority of your followers came to view as you sat in your rolly gaming chair. the greetings came rushing in and you noticed two of your friends had came along too, xingqiu and chongyun.

"hey gang, it's kingexplosionmurder here with your weekly sunday stream," you smiled and watched as comments came in asking you to notice them. beginning to select randomly, you flicked a short strand of hair behind your ear. "you have been noticed, yourlocalsugardaddy," you blessed them. and you swore you chose randomly.

on the other side of the screen, chongyun's face slightly flushed before eating his popsicle again. yes, that was his username, selected by xingqiu after the guhua heir was somehow able to trick him into selecting so. the situation must've been that he accidentally consumed some jueyun chili's, that was also xingqiu's doing.

he watched you smile as you explained your schedule for this stream, when he noticed you suddenly began laughing. it sounded genuine, he wanted to believe it was genuine, but there was a trace of disappointment in it. he observed your face, noticing you were looking at the chat box. "i agree too, scarymoose."

scarymoose: this streamer's kinda dog shit ngl 😐

by instinct, his fingers grazed over the keyboard as he analyzed the tone. this kid wasn't joking around with himself, he was really out to bring you down. he exhaled, shaking his head, wondering how you would deal in the situation.

yourlocalsugardaddy: miss karen this isn't yelp 🙄

he wasn't content with that yet, things could've gone onto more serious matters, but he knew you liked to keep your chat clean and peaceful. you went to the farther extents to keep that from happening, agreeing with rude comments yourself as a said joke, but actually have it sometimes harming you.

so chongyun tried his best to keep you happy.

redrumreaper: yo moose chill 😳

he recognized his friend xingqiu also trying to calm the situation as you just laughed it off and attempted to continue, sooner enough just beginning to ignore all his comments. some other viewers came up to your defense but in all honesty, you wanted to move on.

"s-so, i found some silk flowers outside of wangshuu inn yesterday, aren't they pretty?" you took a tiny bouquet of the said silk flowers and presented it to your viewers, holding it next to your cheek. the pink tone of the flowers matched the color of your cheeks and made for a nice picture. chongyun would've screenshotted it, but he respected your privacy.

yourlocaldumba$$: yes they're so pretty we love you 😍

13lue13erry: yes ong ong 💕 thiccer than my granny

Straw13erry: don't bring madame ping into this 💀💀

colino: are you sure it's alright to take from someone's legally owned property ?? much less from their garden

Straw13erry: u mean ur neighbors don't harvest ur flowers every day? 🙄 privilege spoke 🤚

yourlocalsugardaddy: vv pretty 😳

redrumreaper: simp 💀

you slightly choked over on your side and xingqiu calling chongyun a simp, for you. quickly clearing your throat, you regained your composure. your viewers could see that your cheeks had been dusted with a darker shade now.

13lue13erry: 👀

Straw13erry: 👀

yourlocaldumba$$: 👀

redrumreaper: 👀

sireluck: 💀

bazinga: 👀

dandelionn: 👀

poetichoe: 👀

"okay- anyways," you pushed that aside, watching the chain of 👀's coming in. you weren't too sure at what they were referring to, but just assumed that they were interested in xingqiu exposing chongyun. but, there was no way chongyun really felt like that, right? it was just a friendly compliment from what you believed. "just a tiny flex but y'all guys, i am so cracked at apex, not gonna lie. for all the new followers out there," you randomly commented. 'and to change the subject.'

"actually, you know what? fuck the schedule, let's go to trolling little eight year old kids posting selfies on instagram. due to certain reasons i'm just not gonna be blurring their usernames out, but please don't spam these people, i don't wanna be cancelled 💗" you sweetly smiled as you pulled up instagram and started streaming on your phone.

of course your sus notifications ruined it 🤡🤡

because xingqiu took advantage of the situation, sending messages to your discord. nothing mentioning your romantic life because he knew better than that, but just trolling. 'HEY GANG. ITS ME, TONY, AND TODAY WE'RE GONNA SEE IF IM FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'TURNS OUT, I AM NOT FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'AN UPDATE, IT HURTS. ALRIGHT. BYE GUYS.' you tried hard to contain your laughter, but certain giggles came out in the end, giggles that made chongyun's heart flutter.

xingqiu just kept spamming without a stop, to the point that you accidentally clicked into the notification instead of someone's username on a selfie post. so now everyone could see your group chat with xingqiu, chongyun, and a few other viewers that were actually your other friends.

13lue13erry: oh no 🤡

Straw13erry: 🗿

yourlocaldumba$$: HAHAHAHA WE'RE EXPOSED 🤡👌

just water support boy 😔: image.png

oh my god he's sending chongyun catboy edits. you made this concerning noise, glad no one really seemed to know who chongyun really was on twitch. you went back to instagram, beginning to dm a random kid, ignoring the situation that had just happened.

chongyun choked, slight heat running to his cheeks. what the fuck was xingqiu doing- how did he even get those pictures? maybe it was that one time xingqiu forced him to go to a furry con, but how did he ever get the time to photograph these? he nervously fidgeted and played with his fingers.

13lue13erry: 🤡

Straw13erry: 🤡

yourlocaldumba$$: 🤡

redrumreaper: 🤡

<— oraoraoraor

kingexplosionmurder: chav check

oraoraoraor: what

kingexplosionmurder: chav: check 😹😹

oraoraoraor: bruh

oraoraoraor: who tf are you

kingexplosionmurder: hope you like baddies cause i'm bad at everything 💗

oraoraoraor: bruh ok i'm blocking

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: 😐

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: wtf

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: wait wait UR that one twitch streamer?

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: ig ur fans gonna be so disappointed in you

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: hahaha wtf i'm gonna post this and tag you

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

afterwards you sent a barrage of really cursed images and left the person on read when they tried to complain and get a reaction out of you. you chuckled, extremely satisfied with yourself. this is what your viewers followed you for. you went on hunting for another user, "GO Y/N GO" filling up your chat.

you were just about to dm this other kid until you heard a ring from your doorbell. "oh what the fuck, i didn't invite anyone. but you know what, i'll pull something up to entertain y'all guys while i'm afk." searching on youtube, you typed in 'banana fish ep. 1' and clicked on the longest video you saw. then you got up from your chair, making your way to the front door.

you didn't mute yourself before because you thought there was really no need to, and you underestimated your mic sensitivity. god did you wish that you could go back and time and do just that.

twisting the doorknob, you opened your door and was met with... a certain, someone.

someone that you recognized and has caused you so much pain, and it was all so fun and games before they had to come along. "bruh. aight what you here for fam?" you played it super chill, though you were really sick and tired of this person's shit.

"(y/n). we need to talk," her stern voice made you flinch as you just stared straight into her eyes. you simply nodded your head and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto your right leg. "we're thinking of taking you back home."

your froze, your breath hitching as you just stood there, waiting for her to go on. clenching your fists and looking down, you stayed silent for a little moment and questioned, "...why?"

"well, you have a stable income source, right?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. "you can finally be of use to us," she clasped her hands together, a bright smile on her face. your finger twitched, awaiting an explanation. "you're a streamer, yeah? so you can be a useful asset to our family name."

"...you only want me to come back so i can make you all seem... good?"

and here you thought, just for a second, that you would be accepted back into the place where you really belonged. your shoulders slumped, as small tears began to well up in your eyes. "and for our profitable gain of course, it would be a shame to not acquire that from you."

you composed yourself and looked up. "im afraid my profit can only cover for one person, and it would be myself that i focus to make a suitable and independent living out of. you've kicked me out ever since i've graduated from college and had me fend for myself, now inviting me back once i have a stable job?" you breathed, fiddling with the sleeves of your black hoodie.

"oh, not inviting, dear. taking."

confused by her words, you let your guard down as she suddenly pushed a warm cloth over your mouth as you let out a constrained scream. you tried to break free of her grasp, reaching for the switchblade in your pocket, but the drowsing chemicals from the cloth took control of you and you felt disoriented. "you... bitch..."

your head hit the floor.

》●✿ time ● skip ✿●

silence.

thats all you heard when you awoke.

pure, unfiltered silence that overwhelmed you as you were completely lost. what was happening?

you tried turning to the other side of your childhood bed, the moon casting light shadows into your 'room'. there was a rope around your wrists you noticed, so you brought them up to your lips and starting gnawing on them until it broke apart. (guys we feral its not a furry instinct ok?/ ??  ?)

the material had irritated your skin, but you put that aside for now. escape- thats what you really needed to do. it was fairly dark, but you didn't have a good estimate of time. the analog clock was broken and set to a different time that displayed 11AM. you sat up, your fingers running along the frame of the window next to you.

for a moment, you stopped, thoughts rushing into your head. what if you could start a whole other life here where things could finally be peaceful, what if you didn't have to feel so isolated anymore, what if you could- ...

no. (y/n), get yourself together. what has happened will anyways stay there, and there is no healing scars. ...still, you couldn't shake off the feeling of missing this home so much when you had an amazing childhood, though full of fake actors who had manipulated you.

opening all the cabinets silently, you grabbed things that you assumed would come to your aid. a tiny backpack, which you then stuffed with other things around it. a first aid kit, a spare knife just in case, along with a clean oversized sweater and a couple dollar bills. all that, along with a compass.

you turned towards your window, stepping on your bed.

pushing open the sides of your window, your stepped on, the brown coldness of the frame coming in contact with your feet. you shivered just a little bit before stopping to think. what would you do once you were out of here? you barely knew your way here. and not to mention, your devices were still left at your other house, so there was no way of contact.

...

did your stream ever end? even if it did, had you muted yourself before leaving? no, you didn't, and you could remember in precise detail. someone out there, anyone, would be willing to help, right? you couldn't possibly be here forever, not when you're basically blown up all over your socials?

your friends, yes, your friends! xingqiu and chongyun were watching the stream and had made obvious interaction in doing so, and they'd be willing to protect you. if they just had a lead...

but... what lead was there? all they heard was the woman's voice and, that was probably it, wasn't it? only a voice with no other clear features that could identify her. it looked like you were doing this on your own.

you came in contact with the blades of grass tickling your feet and conveniently found a pair of sneakers outside. it definitely wasn't yours, and it smelled like the scent of your old room. most likely, it belonged to someone from inside your house, lavender and mint, but who inside there was in the age range to wear modern day sneakers..?

brushing that question aside, you unhesitatingly laced them on and they were just a bit too big, but you could manage.

you breathed, inhaling the freedom intertwined air, a much needed factor of bringing you back to your lost sense of happiness. then, the fear struck you once again, because you needed to improvise now. you needed to run, but which direction? you barely knew this place at all.

you dug around your pocket for the compass you had and it was pointing east. you remember that stepping out of your house was facing west, so you were going the right way... but who knows how messy the path was? it couldn't have been an exact pathway, but going directly ahead was your simplest option.

you heard a pair of footsteps coming from inside the house, probably a few seconds away to opening the door. you sucked in your breath and ran, ran as far as your legs could take you. your intimidating speed and played into your advantage, and taking one last look, you saw the lights on, before continuing.

a few minutes into it, you felt some elemental energy. it was a sense you learned to develop since you were young, giving you the upper hand in a variety of situations. you followed the trail of glowing lines, the air starting to get colder and colder. you shuddered, the crisp coldness nipping at your skin.

you sat below a tree, taking your backpack off your shoulder and took out the oversized sweater. you put it on over your black tee and light blue skinny jeans, its nostalgic aroma filling your sense of smell.

it was... warm.

it shouldn't be warm.

the warmth proved as a sign that someone had worn it before, but this size was from what you knew, too small to fit the woman you came across again, and you absolutely did not recall any other beings within the house. it was a small household.

suddenly, you remembered what she said.

we're thinking of taking you back home. you can finally be of use to us.

plural. you should've noticed it before and you shook your head, slightly disappointed in yourself. you didn't remember any other birth siblings. could it be the fact that during the time, they had, in a way, replaced you?

you sat up, then suddenly went drowsy. your eyelids were getting heavy as your back hit the same tree. ah, that clever bitch. you chuckled to yourself, but still unsatisfied how this was gonna end. reaching inside your pocket, you grabbed a bomb that a little kid gave you, and threw it as far as you could. it wasn't as far as you hoped, but it was exceptionally far considered your sleepy state.

in a few couple seconds or so, it was going to explode. you did that to divert the attention of her and slowly ran as far as you could. a few seconds in, you gave in, hoping that your efforts were enough. 》●✿ perspective ● shift ✿●

chongyun heard an explosion.

he raised his head in the direction smoke was coming from, and made a run for it, then stopping to think. no, you're smarter than this. he gathered his shit together and remembered that one day klee gave you a bomb. he deducted that you had used it as a diversion, and began to search around the area.

and finally, he came across your sleeping body. to ensure your living state, he crouched down and let two fingers travel across your neck, searching for a pulse, and was relieved when he found one, pulsing at a normal rate.

he then carried you on his back, picking up the pace since he deducted someone was out for you, would you need a distraction. he remembered some details of the woman, she had ended your stream with your sleeping form in her hands, a dirty smirk coming across her lips. she had dark hair with some natural highlights, but that was all he saw because the rest was concealed by a cloak.

a few minutes, maybe half an hour later, you began to stir. chongyun decided that he ventured far enough to liyue and slowed down for your comfort. he wanted you to get some well deserved rest. but slowly, you woke up, but only the tiniest movement was made. your eyes were still droopy and you wanted to return to sleep.

but the sight of pastel blue hair kept you from doing so.

you felt the familiar silk coming in contact with your arms as he kept on trudging forward at a more consistent and smooth pace. "..chongyun?" you muttered out weakly, earning a small smile from the male. he hummed in response, continuing forward.

your mind was cloudy, unable to interpret the language of the world. but softly, words effortlessly escaped your lips, "... did i do the right... thing?" blinking multiple times, you awaited his answer.

"yes, yes you did," his soft voice reached your ears, making you smile a bit. you nuzzled deeper into his shoulder, clinging onto him tighter, unwilling to let go.

"thank you," you whispered.

he chuckled a bit before responding, "anything for you."

_____

bro ending is a little off because i'm wrote this at 2:53AM and so my brain has went ⬇️⬇️ also i'm just hungry

copy and pasted from my wattpad,, @ppeachtea_

[apexqueenie]

For One-Punch man : S-Class psychic (with the power of telepathy) male superhero reader x Tatsumaki

Ooooooooh yes, sorry for taking so long! Work and School are REALLY taking a toll on me ugh. Welp, here’s bby Tatsu❤️

Enjoy!

Warnings: Foul language, dead monsters

“Ehhhhhhhhh? Some nobody made it to S-class right off the bat?” Tatsumaki crossed her arms. She hovered over the tech guys in the Hero Association headquarters impatiently and just happened to see a new document come up on screen. The name was cut off at the top of the monitor, but the large S above the nearly perfect score was clearly visible.

The nervous tech man jumped at the S-class heroine’s voice, “uhm, yes ma’am, he was just registered today”

“Tch, first King, then Demon Cyborg, and now this guy? So I guess anyone can just waltz into the S-class instead of earning it like the rest of us? Ugh, weaklings” she scoffed. “Also, I don’t know if any of you morons remember but I came here because you guys said you needed help so get on with it!”

She looked around the room at the various operators all furiously typing away at their keyboards, some taking distressed phone calls from powerless civilians encountering lower level monsters. Sighing, she floated around looking for the staff member that called for her aid. Tch, if there were copies of her around, there won’t be so many monsters wandering the streets. Waiting around here was so goddamn booooooooooooooooring.

“Who called me here anyways?!” She yelled, “It’s taking so long for them to show up that I might as well just go look for the monster myself!” She raised herself far above everyone else, hoping that someone would notice and give her some coordinates. ANY coordinates.

Her hopes were answered when an association worker, Scruff man she calls him, entered the room, laptop in one hand as he adjusted his headset in the other. She growls with impatience and hovers over to him, fixing his headset for him so he could pay attention to her quicker.

“Where’s the monster I need to clean up?” she said, poking the man’s head.

He sighed, still heading over to his desk to set his laptop down. “Actually, we already have a hero there, but we have reports of the commotion attracting a huge energy signature from the-”

“Yeah yeah, give me the location already! I have to do ALL the work here” she interrupts.

He typed at his keyboard seemingly unbothered by the heroine’s rude mannerisms. “City J, watch out along the border in city K though,” he says. He was about to say more, but the green haired woman already vanished. He shook his head, getting back to other important matters at hand. “She’ll be fine” he mutters.

***

City J wasn’t that far by any means, not if you could fly there like the Terrible Tornado. She could hear the screams of frightened people before she even got to the scene...at least...she thought they were screams. Listening closer, Tatsumaki realized they were...cheers?

Oddly enough, she saw people smiling, taking videos and selfies of an abnormally big bear monster that laid sprawled across the floor, a massive dent in its head as well as a destroyed cafe in front of it. The hero of the day stood next to the corpse, smiling at the crowd as they swooned over him. She didn’t recognize him however...was it some lower class trying to get a rank boost? She flew over, hovering above him for intimidation.

He turned to look at her, unfazed by her presence. “Oh, hi partner! You must be the Terrible Tornado! I heard they were sending you as backup-”

“BACKUP?!” she yelled, “I am NOBODY’S BACKUP! If it weren’t for those STUPID HQ workers, I would’ve been here faster and without all this damn mess!” She waved her hand to the remains of the destroyed building to prove her point.

The hero blinked at her and smiled again, “so, this must be the award winning personality that coined your name huh? Well, you’re not the only one with a powerful mind you know. Mine takes over weak ones- anyways, we need to evacuate these people. They came back once the alarm stopped, but HQ warned us that there’s another beast hiding somewhere…” he trailed off, concentrating at the crowd of people that still cheered for him. He was sensing an approaching danger…a BIG danger. Suddenly, he turned to Tatsumaki and called her name, pointing to a cluster of people urgently.

She barely got the message as the ground began to crack underneath them. In between the cracks, she spotted a blue and disfigured monster, its drill like teeth boring its way to the surface until it suddenly froze, its eyes turning milky white. Subconsciously, she had already picked up everything in that area: people, cars, street signs, rubble and all, placing them gently out of harm’s way. Next to her, the unnamed hero holds both his hands out towards the monster, his eyes reflecting the same white as the monster he controlled.

“Tornado!” he yelled with a bit of difficulty. Quickly, she pulls everyone she sees far away from the battle scene, clearing the debri from the streets simultaneously so they can make their escape. The alarm sounds again, warning everyone of a threat level demon terrorizing the city. Tatsumaki rises above the buildings, scanning the area for more threats, but to her surprise, she sees none. Before she could start worrying about the monster at hand, the hero below lets out a triumphant yell at the area being cleared of civilians.

“Hah! This is where the real fun begins!” He says.

Tatsumaki looked down to see the male jump right above the monster before it unfroze and launched itself far above the ground. She moved out of the way to let the blue salamander-like monster pass her, its impossibly long body covering her view of the sun. She stared in awe at the hero riding the nearly 200 foot long beast to the sky. He felt no fear as he dropped with the giant, yelling with glee like a child playing with a new toy. It fell to the ground, crushing uneven buildings with its soft underside, the sudden takeover messing with its head and making it uncoordinated and confused. This gave the hero the perfect opportunity to control it with ease. The Salamander’s eyes turned milky white in its confusion, ceasing his movements and almost robotically repositioning its body. A split second later, it began bashing its head against the ground, quickly losing the strength to stand up as the hero rode on top of it like he was at a rodeo. Tatsumaki could only stare in shock as it took one last hit and stumbled on its side, dying next to the previous monster who met the same fate.

She was speechless. Never had she seen someone use an enemy’s own power against them, not like that. What did he say again..? ‘Well, you’re not the only one with a powerful mind you know. Mine takes over weak ones.’. Huh, so someone on the opposite side of the Esper Spectrum.

The hero turned to smile at her from below and Tatsumaki couldn’t help but turn a bit red from embarrassment. She was the number 2 hero, yet, she barely did anything to aid in stopping the attack. She didn’t know why, but for the first time in a long while, she felt ok with someone else handling the monster. She floated down a good distance to meet him, hoping her green aura would cover up some of the redness.

“Thanks for the help back there, I don’t really like taking over human minds all that much, so it was a big help for you to move them yourself.” he says as he begins to make his way down from the monster’s neck.

Tatsumaki only responded with a ‘hmph’ as she hovered in pace with him. She wasn’t used to being the backup, but what’s done is done. Even if she was impressed, she couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit salty.

Sounds of sirens, helicopters, and news reporters became audible soon after the hero’s feet touched the ground. Few people came back to the aftermath to take pictures and film the dead beasts.

“Well,” the hero says, fixing his outfit, “looks like people are coming to interview us already. S-classes really are a big deal huh? I don’t think I’m ready to spend the next hour or two being asked boring questions, so I'm gonna dip. I’ll see you around?”

“...Sure.” She says.

“Great!” He smiles, before turning around to head off away from the paparazzi.

Tatsumaki eyes him for a second, trying to figure out again if she recognizes him before the curiosity gets the better of her. “Wait!” She calls out.

He turns around, giving her his full attention.

“What’s your name anyways?” She huffs.

He gives her a playful smirk, “I thought you knew already. I’m your new S-class companion, and I’m comin for Blast’s number 1 spot.” He says, pointing a thumb to himself as he turned back around and continued walking.

“LIKE HELL I’D LET YOU TAKE THAT SPOT” he heard Tatsumaki yell before she let out a frustrated growl and began heading off to her next task.

The hero chuckled to himself. The Terrible Tornado could be cute sometimes if she wasn’t trying to kill you.

***

As Tatsumaki flew off, she couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy. Finally, there was someone who could pull their weight... someone she could share the load with and who wasn’t quite normal like her and Fubuki. It was an odd feeling of..relief? Comfort? She didn’t quite know just yet, so she shook that feeling away. The number two hero doesn’t catch feelings that easily, at least, that’s what she told herself. Aside from her sister, relationships were hard for Tatsumaki...but deep down, she secretly hoped she would work with him again soon.

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[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[wookie92]

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A MICROPENIS

My micropenis is approximately ½ to 1 inch long when flaccid and 3.3 inches long when fully erect.  When  fully erect it has an upward angle and a slight banana curve. It is also very thin (2.8), though proportional to the length.  According to calculations my penis has a volume of 36.19 ml / 1.22 fl oz (us).  Various studies suggest that the average American penis is 2.8–3.9 inches flaccid and around 4.7–6.3 inches when erect.  According to online information at SIZEMEUP, in a room of 1000 guys only 1 would be shorter than me.

In an adult, the average stretched penile length is about 13.24 cm (5.21 in.). An adult micropenis is a stretched penile length of 9.32 cm (3.67 in.) or less.  Growing up I remember reading that a micropenis was defined as any penis shorter than 2.8 inches in length.  But have been subsequently given new information that slid me well under the 3.67 inch upper limit.

Where Do I Stand On The Penis Size Chart?

All this to say: the majority of average flaccid penises are longer than mine when I am erect.

I cannot say that I am deeply ashamed of my micropenis, but certainly I have experienced shame with regard to my size.  I can say that I am extremely self aware of my penis size.  This is largely because of the of things I hear women and women say about micropenis, and people’s reaction to my own micropenis.

I can only speak from personal experience, but the number of times I have heard women making fun of men for the size of their manhood is staggering. At one time, I actually overheard three or four of my colleagues at work all agreeing that "men with small dicks should be required to wear a warning sign."

In school, especially high school and as an undergraduate, I was subject to a lot of hazing and bullying that was directly connected to my having a micropenis.  As a sophomore in high school I was depantsed at the pool by three bullies when I got an unwanted erection. They lifted me up and held my arms behind me to prevent me from covering my erection so the entire PE class present saw what happened.  The coach had left the pool area when it happened. While the three boys were penalized, the damage was done any my “secret” became known through out the school before the end of the day.  The teasing commenced immediately and was unrelenting.  Even my mother got calls from some friends who had heard about the incident (and my condition).  My mother reacted in anger at me that somehow I was responsible for the situation (and her subsequent embarrassment).  No empathy there.  I was depantsed three more times before I graduated from high school and it was clear to me why I was being targeted.

I was on the swim team and during a competition with a neighboring town, discovered that two of the players from that town recognized me as the guy with the “baby dick” which got shouted as I started my event.  So, word had spread.  I felt like a pariah.

Numerous scientific studies have suggested time and again that for the majority of women in the western world, tiny penises are simply undesirable. I am 28 and have had just only three sexual experiences (through personal choice) with women, two of which were very humiliating, to say the least.

In high school, my first consensual sexual encounter was with a boy named Billy.  I was 13 and he was 15.  He was interested in anal sex, and wanted to top me.  I was willing to bottom despite the fact that he was very well endowed.  He did tease me about my micropenis, but seemed to accept it.  I was not prepared for how painful the experience of bottoming would be, but he continued to be interested in me, and treated me well (we even kissed) so I was willing to continue to have sex with him as a bottom.  I fell in love.  Then he disclosed to his homophobic older brother that we had been having sex and that put an end to our relationship.  His brother let me know (rather violently) that I was to stay away from Billy or he would castrate and kill me. Billy, who had a black eye, never spoke to me again.

My first sexual encounter with a woman happened during my Junior year in high school.  She was a sophomore and I was a Junior. When I undressed I could tell she was “shocked” even though she was a virgin and had never seen a man naked.  She has seen photographs of naked men, and she had a brother in college.   She was well pleased with my digital and oral skills, and actually squirted into my mouth (something I didn’t even know was a “thing” that might happen). Unfortunately when I attempted to penetrate her, my condom slipped off, and my orgasm was triggered prematurely as I was trying to thrust into her.   She tried to push me off of her as I locked up and started squirting, and was furious that I had ejaculated into her vagina.  She said she could feel me ejaculating.  She got up and douched.  I was too embarrassed to speak more than an apology.  I helped pay for her “morning after” pill and discovered that she had disclosed the whole evening, including my premature ejaculation, and condom mishap, to her friends.

As a freshman in college I encountered a very attractive university student who seemed to be attracted to me. When I stripped, she stared at my micropenis, giggled, and put her hand to her mouth, muttering simply "OK" in a tone that suggested she was taken aback. When it came to actually performing, first I found that the condom wouldn’t stay on, but more frustratingly, my micropenis kept falling out every time I tried to penetrate her. She actually asked the traditional joke question, "Is it in?" mistaking my penis for my finger.  I wanted to die. It was clear that she was getting nothing out of the experience. I genuinely tried my best to make her happy via oral sex, but she didn't orgasm or enjoy that either.   I suspect her encounter with my penis through a wet blanket over the whole experience. When at last I finally thought I was making her content, she suddenly huffed in an annoyed way and got up, saying she needed to use the restroom. And that was the end of it.

I can only imagine the level of disappointment and frustration she must have felt. It must have been a horrendous experience for her.

I decided after that to become a master of cunnilingus so that any future women I encountered would be satisfied, if not by my penis, then my oral skills would more than make up for it.  And I did master the art.

While in graduate school at the University of Texas in Austin, I met and married a girl.  We had engaged in some sexual activity before our marriage, so she was aware of my micropenis.  However our marriage was short lived when I discovered she had been having sex with my then best friend.  When I confronted her with her lack of fidelity, she blamed my shortcomings as a lover and told me that my micropenis disgusted her.

Since that time I have mainly had sexual experiences with gay men, though I had a threesome with a woman that went very well.

Aside from personal experiences, the media doesn’t help my self-esteem either.  Men with small penis are an ongoing source of amusement in TV shows and movies.  I noticed that penis shaming was mostly reserved for villains and comic sidekicks who were never taken seriously.  There are more TV shows with “little dick jokes” than shows that don’t have them.   No shows make fun of women’s breast size, but targeting men with small penises as a source of humor seems to be socially acceptable.  All that tells me that the writers don’t really care if men with small penises are offended or hurt.

The way the media treats the body-shaming of men compared to the body-shaming of women is wildly different. When Donald Trump makes questionable comments about the looks of women, he rightly causes outrage. Lists and videos decrying his sexist remarks have gone viral. Yet when a naked model of Trump with a micropenis was displayed in public in New York City, it was treated like a punch line rather than an attack. Some publications even called it a wonderful piece of art. Hundreds of Americans now have selfies of them laughing at Trump and his micropenis. We defend Heidi Cruz and Megyn Kelly, but where are the people defending small penises?  I am no Trump supporter, but targeting him because of his small penis seems wrong.

GUYS WITH MICROPENISES KNOW THEY ARE NOT WELL-ENDOWED, THEY DON’T NEED REMINDING OF IT.

From my experience (having read hundreds of articles, forum posts, videos, and having spoken to hundreds of men and women online), it feels safe to say that the overwhelming majority of sexual partners aren't thrilled about the prospect of sex with micropenises. And if we don’t accept that these views are likely the majority, then we are never going to challenge this blatant discrimination.

I would like to ask people to think about this: If you are attracted to somebody enough to ask them to bed, and if the guy is kind to you, is it fair to write him off based on size alone?

So what do I plan to do about my love life?

Luckily I am bisexual and enjoy the company of men as well as women. I fear that straight men with the micropenis condition suffer worse shame than men in the gay community.  Let me be clear, a great many gay men are “size queens” and I have been rejected by more than a few gay men, but now that so many men can meet on line I have been able to meet men who actually “prefer” men with small dicks and so they are not surprised by what I have to offer when we meet.  Many of them enjoy SPH (Small Penis Humiliation), but in my life I have adapted to being the subject of humor and, in some cases, can even find that sexually arousing.

So the answer to that question is “nothing”. I try to focus my life on my work, my writing, working out, outdoors activities, sports, and other subjects that interest me. If I started to look for love, it would just make me feel down, and I already struggle with depression and anxiety secretly. I don’t need the humiliation and hurt that looking for love would bring me. Sure, everybody gets rejected, but usually for less hurtful reasons.  As a bottom, many men don’t care how well I am hung.  Instead they care about how I make them feel when they fuck me, and I have learned to be a power bottom.

Guys with micropenises know we are not well-endowed, we don’t need to be reminded of it. If I’m attracted to a sexual partner, then what they have in their pants doesn’t matter to me; I care more about what that partner has in his/her heart.  My extreme self-consciousness about my body makes me feel like everyone else's opinion must be right, that there is something wrong with my size. I just wish people could look past it, so I could too.  Because intellectually I know my size is just a variation.

I try to look at it this way.  Not everyone is attracted to red hair, or freckles, or blue eyes, or black skin, or hairy chests.   People are attracted to differing qualities.  As long as I can find some people who are interested in  the qualities I possess, and are also interested n me personally, than I am gratified.

[murdereraisuha]

I wrote this for myself to try and organize my current theories on TWST, but I might as well keep this blog going even though I’m out of ideas for card maker memes.

This is basically a rant that starts out with theorizing about RSA, the Cater=Cinderella theory, and Split Card, but then spirals into a Cater character analysis.

For anyone who doesn’t know the Cinderella theory, it’s basically just Cater might have something to do with Cinderella because he has two bossy sisters, and during the ghost marriage there was this whole thing where Riddle needs to rescue Cater before midnight because of some Queen of Hearts rule. 

Spoilers for Cater’s personal stories (including his halloween outfit story) and chat, and chapter 4 of the main story. Okay now let’s get into it. Over 1,800 words geez what am I doing with my life

   Aight so Ace and Deuce don't have their unique magics yet and there is obviously Something going on with Cater so it really makes me think that we're gonna return to Heartslabyul somewhere down the line. We know there's gotta be more stuff with RSA, so that might tie into the Cater = Cinderella theory. Maybe we have a chapter focusing on RSA and Cater will be the main focus or ally for that. IDK man, I'm still kind of eh on the Cinderella theory cause it makes a lot of sense but we already have Mozus being the evil stepmother. Him and Cater are from the same hometown (?) but my concern is that if Cater is a main focus and he gets connected to Mozus then Mozus would also be in the spotlight which would be odd given how nothing seems to suggest that the teachers (except Crowley) getting bigger roles in the story. However, it could always be a situation like with Farena where Mozus is there and some sort of connection is briefly discussed but he isn't important and maybe someone else takes the role of evil stepmother in the story.

   Ok idk so we're gonna go back to Cater. If the Cinderella theory is true, we gotta consider how exactly Cater represents Cinderella. Does he represent Cinderella in the way that he's twisted from her (ex. Azul & Ursula) or that he just takes the role of Cinderella for a chapter (ex. Azul & The Genie)? The fact that he uses dark magic points to it being the latter, that he really is twisted from a card soldier. However, we gotta consider 1. the nature of his unique magic 2. the plot of Cinderella. Though we know he has the ability to clone himself, we don't know how exactly this works. Are the clones identical, or do/can they have differences? In episode 1-15, the Cater clones all have slightly different responses ("はーい" "まかせて！" "おっけー♪") to getting ready to paint the roses. Given how clones don't exist in real life, it's impossible to tell whether this variation indicates actual differences in personality, is just due to the clones' slightly different experiences (like a sort of butterfly effect), or if it's just a decision by the writer so they aren't repetitive. Another thing to note is that in that same episode Cater claims that cloning himself is tiring. If this is the only source for this information, there's the possibility that it just was a lie to let him manipulate the 1st years into helping him paint. Finally, Cater's ability makes me think of Twice from BNHA. Can only the original Cater create clones? Or is he like Twice in that his clones can also make clones, therefore making it impossible for anyone, including himself, to tell who is the original?

  What I'm getting at here is the possibility of Cater having clones that 1. stick around permanently and 2. are significantly different than him. This would create the possibility of him being twisted from both the card soldiers and Cinderella, but he is able to use his clone ability to split up those aspects of himself. One Cater is the card soldier one normally walking around NRC and who has dark magic, but then there's another Cinderella Cater who has light magic. Assuming this is what is going on, it would kind of connect to his two-sided personality, where he presents his bubbly, social-media addict personality to the world but has another, depressed, more private personality underneath. 

  Now, getting into what I mentioned before about the plot of Cinderella, Cinderella normally looks like a humble servant. However, with the aid of the fairy godmother, she completely transforms herself into a breathtaking princess so she can go to the ball. However, once the clock strikes midnight, she transforms back. Basically, Cinderella has the ability of transformation, to have two completely different versions of herself. One version is her true, plain self, while the other is a flashy deception. This information strengthens what I just said about Cater's personality and clone ability.

  Actually, just going into Cater's personality for a bit (yeah, “a bit” lol)... He has a big focus on always being presentable. In his lab coat, he seems pretty desperate to hide all evidence of his true self, claiming that he just failed at putting his magic in the depressed mandrake and then hiding all his other mandrakes aside from the fun ones. This desperation is similar to Cinderella's, with how she flees the ball in a hurry once it reaches midnight so no one will see how she truly looks once the spell breaks. Now, why do Cater and Cinderella behave the way they do? I don't remember Cinderella's exact motivations for attending the ball, but wikipedia says that she had to flee the ball because if the spell broke there she could get caught by her stepmother & stepsisters. What is Cater's "ball"? Well, because of his strong social media presence, his "ball" is basically everywhere, all the time. If something happens on social media that exposes his true self, breaking his "spell", not only can other students see it, but his sisters can also see it.

  Cater hates sucking up to his older sisters, which implies that he has had to suck up to his older sisters and put up his happy front around them too. Just like how Cinderella can't afford to let her stepsisters realize her true identity at the ball, Cater can't afford to let his sisters realize his true self. It's honestly kind of sad; unlike Cinderella, whose stepsisters only showed up later in her life, Cater's older sisters have been around him and making him miserable for all of his life.

  Kinda unrelated, but looking though Cater's chats, in the one he has with Trey they talk about the Queen of Hearts and her love for sweets, Cater remarks that he wants to have tea with her too, leading Trey to say that Cater would be unable to befriend her since they're in different social classes. Isn't this basically a genderbent version of Cinderella, just a commoner, wanting to go to the ball where the Prince is? 

  Now going back to Cater's personality. Even if he does fear his sisters, that doesn't seem to fully explain his 24/7 pep and focus on being magicammable. Now, what if we say that happiness=nobility. In Cinderella, she dresses up like nobility so she can remain in the ball where the actually rich people are. What if Cater is acting happy so he can fit in with the people around him, who are naturally happy enough that they don't need to fake it? Is this a fake it until you make it situation? At the end of his ceremony robes story, after he says he's tired and doesn't care about the ceremony, he says he's just kidding and goes back to talking about the selfies he took that day. Even though he's alone and wouldn't really get hurt for dropping his performance. It gives the vibe to me that his situation is not like Jamil's, where he's fully aware he's unhappy, deliberately acts otherwise in front of others, and tries to eliminate the cause of his unhappiness. Instead, Cater is trying to eliminate his unhappiness itself. He grasps onto magicam because if he fills up his account with pictures of a happy life, it's like he's actually living a happy life.

  This idea I have of Cater trying to fit in also goes along with his focus on the current trends, like in one of his gym uniform voice lines where he panics at the idea of not knowing about a new popular game. Rather than making his own aesthetics or trends, he goes along with the crowd. Sweets and desserts are trendy? Then he'll take tons of pictures of them and say they're super delicious even if he actually hates sweet food. He disregards or evades his own preferences to create the appearance that he's just like everyone else, and he puts effort into staying up to date so he can maintain that appearance.

  Moving on, I reread his halloween outfit personal story. Something that stuck out was the end, when Cater thinks that Lilia wouldn't understand what he's going through. Specifically, Lilia wouldn't understand his 下らなくてどーしよーもない feelings. According to jisho, 下らない can mean trivial/not worth bothering with/worthless, and it can also mean stupid/absurd/silly. Then, どーしよーもない (どうしようもない)  means something that can't be helped, that has no way out of it. Doesn't this seem kind of odd? That he claims his feelings are just trivial then but also he can't help having them? Is this a contradiction? Or is it something like he believes that most people wouldn't have these silly feelings but he specifically is too weak to push past them?

  For self-esteem though, he seems to at least be trying to boost it. Like in his gym uniform story, when he decides to just clone himself and have each one run 1 lap instead of him running 5 by himself, his clones all praise him for the idea. However, this could be a fake it until you make it thing again. The praise does seem a bit heavy-handed. 

  There's also the whole thing in the 2nd part of the story where he talks about all the shallow friendships he has made. He notes that he'd rather have a casual time with people rather than get attached. That plus his family situation... means he's really never had anyone to trust. Anyway, he then goes on to talk about how magicame is amazing for helping him maintain all these casual friendships. So there we have another reason for his social media addiction: not only does it let him create a picture of happiness, he can get tons of feedback affirming his happiness and serving as proof of happiness. How can he possibly be lonely if he has so many friends?

  Both in his ceremony robes and halloween outfit stories have a moment where Cater is tired and admits he's tired but then downplays it. Yeah, the ceremony was tiring, but he got tons of great pictures out of it! Yeah, dealing with guests was rough, but at the same time all the halloween stuff was exciting! This sort of thing is a pretty common strategy for increasing the persuasiveness of an argument. By first agreeing (yes, he's tired) with the opposing view (he is not happy), he can then push his own view (he is happy) and point at his earlier concession as proof that he has looked at both sides of the issue instead of only looking for evidence of his own belief. 

 So basically what I'm getting here is that Cater Is Not Okay. Prevented from building close bonds with friends or family, he's reinforcing his isolation himself through his fervent efforts to never let anyone close and never let his mask drop. He's gone so far as to try and convince himself that he's happier than he actually is through self-deception and social media.

  Alright that’s all I got for now see ya