#okay im actually pretty tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

x1702x · 3 months

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Idk whats the huge thing about that one BG3 tav Evelyn. Like?? Okay? Shes conventionally attractive but what more is there?? I seriously dont get the hype

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synthshenanigans · 8 months

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a WIP of the recent fit that I hope I will finish later & color.

also smaller doodles i miiiiiiight do more with eventually?? v

#im real tired atm [like I usually end up bein lol] so im passing out after this posts #pray that i get the inspiration/remember to finish this cos im kinda likin it #well the main art at least #the doodle are chill too but they meh #i like the bottom 2 & middle one mainly but oh well it be like that #anyways im tired and I've been staring at the same fuckin photo for like an actual like 3-5 hours for a reference #all i see now is blue an pink hel p #the bisexual is forced to see in bisexual lighting/j #anyways² bro is rlly rlly pretty and fun to draw especially in this outfit #i already had some doodles planned of hms in diff outfits but SOMEONE decided to make me lose my mind this weekend #fuckin bastard/lh #okay im just ranting about inane bs at this point #do i main tag? its only a wip so...#ah fuck it why not #chonny jash #moss post #-atlas art-

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izzy-b-hands · 5 months

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today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

#text post #no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning #but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry #and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even'#she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year #and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down #and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings #which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit #doesn't fix it but at least i know.#the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me #but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's.#i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything????#why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time #there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is #I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise #it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like #whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj

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gifti3 · 10 months

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I still think obey me would have had an easier time writing better characters if they had actual routes (includes harem route) and better story segment to rhythm game ratios

#An essay by me #I want the story to rhythm game ratio to be closer to twisted wonderland so i can actually enjoy the story!#i like the rhythm aspect #its way more fun than in the original game #and the music is catchy! but every 2 minutes to progress is kinda urghhh #and yes we can have 1 on 1 routes and harem routes in the same game!#it doesnt have to be one or the other #now you've calmed down the people who are either sick of mammon and lucifer or love satan and asmo lol #people who like the side characters can get their juice too instead of crawling under the couch for crumbs #and people who like romancing everyone at once are still happy #AND ALL the characters will become more well rounded because everyones not limited to their 1-10 seconds of screentime #nb has been doing a good job with giving the characters depth but im scared what might happen in the future #is the game just gonna go on forever with no planned ending?#im sure this is a topic people are tired of but its my blog okay!#i pretty much treat this as a public journal #and i love latching onto stuff i think has potential but never fully reaches it #what im saying is be more like mystic messenger lol #obey me #obey me nb

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yasuyasudere · 1 year

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oki doki.

My three favorite to draw sansys, and!

Introducing: My interpretation of @htsan.

Explanation: HT stands for heart, so heart. Easy. But wait, add anomaly to heart = data heart. Plus, sun god concept, because you like it, so....

Htsan as anomaly sun god i guess?

Also, red strings of fate, because sans is husbone material.

#htsan #i hate backgrounds #I never know what to make them look like #But! Sansy is always fun to draw #Love him #Hope you like it #Actually my first time drawing sans with gloves?#Red went in the middle to mix up the colors #Hehe horror's eye is always so fun to draw~ pretty~#I tried to make the sun rays look like a crown #Okay. Im tired. Goodnight

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micechicken · 5 months

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As we fall down

#my art #Light of the Faceless #Charlie Berg #Barle Berg #this was going to be part 2 of a drawing but I hated the first half lol #this is actually a part of the story so I'm not going to explain it #but the name of the drawing is pretty telling #but they are okay just really really tired #if you saw the first upload no you didn't lol #IF YOU SAW THE TYPO NO YOU DID NOT #im tired too fuck

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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I hate how even in asexual communities, it's still so hard to find other sex repulsed aces. Like idk it feels like no matter where I am, I'm the one who has a problem and I hate it. I never asked to be like this but at the same time I don't want people to keep treating me like I'm just damaged and need to be fixed. Or like it's fine as long as I don't impose it on other people...

idk how to explain to people that I'm not just internally tolerating things, I'm actually in a lot of pain over it. I'm not just disgusted, I'm panicking and upset over the fact that I feel disgust sometimes toward people I like very much actually. Idk I just feel like it's never talked about and it's extremely upsetting.

And the worst part is, if I tell people, everyone has their own assumptions about what "made me this way" and tbh that is just not something I'm comfortable with. My only choices are to either be uncomfortable because I'm panicking and being excluded from a lot of things (usually conversations but sometimes other things too) or to be uncomfortable because I set a boundary and asked people to stop and now everyone is either mad at me or making assumptions about me that I quite honestly don't think I'm okay directly addressing.

I don't know. I just wish there was some non-judgmental recognition that this makes so many things really really hard for me I guess.

#usually the assumptions are that i was sa'd and need to be 'fixed' in therapy #which is just. i dont even know how to explain how fucked up that is if you dont already see it #i dont want to talk about that with pretty much anyone. the only person ill talk to that about is my gf #and only when were alone and i know no ones going to judge me or see me breaking #i start shaking and crying and i cant stop and everytime i hear people making this assumption it puts me back in that headspace #where im so vulnerable and terrified and panicking #and i just hate it. i hate that other people can openly talk about their sexualities but mine is too personal #i do in a way want to be fixed but not with the outcome that other people would want #i just want to be okay. that is literally all i want. i still fully believe ill always be asexual #but when i tell people im sex repulsed its like they assume im secretly not asexual #i kinda think if they think that they probably also hate other asexuals but its just disguised better but idk #im just so tired of being uncomfortable all of the time. i hate it and i dont even know if its me that i hate or everyone else #id just like it to be neither someday #oh yeah also resources as in research and published studies and actually knowledgeable doctors are realllly hard to find #the majority is still overwhelming biased and believe that its a mental disorder and the result of sa too #and i just wish they would actually conduct studies without polluting them with their own biases all the time

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poems-of-a-lover · 11 months

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i need someone to just fall in love with me i miss having a boyfriend and being a boyfriend ugh

#i need to be someones boyfriend right now actually #im so sleepy and my back hurts and im on my period so im like. someone call me their boy before i take my own uterus out. >=[#i want someone to hold my neck and rub their thumb along my jawline and comment on how pretty my eyes are ugh #okay im tired and im rambling i have to. end this post.#mlm #mlm yearning #mlm post #mlm love #gay mlm #trans mlm #t4t #mlm blog #mlm thoughts #t4t yearning

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kellystar321 · 11 months

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#periodical life updates #lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3 #anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now #thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3 #also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant #and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH #miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too #FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33 #i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33 #i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3 #IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3 #some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3 #okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3

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ryderdire · 5 months

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Just cried over Math for the first time in like 6 years so that’s where I’m at

#ryders rambles #personal #sorry again for posting about personal stuff so much lately It’s basically consumed my life and I’m not good #please don’t make fun of my math skills haha #I’m venting here sorry #I mean it when I say I’ve been struggling academically lately haha #im not getting my accommodations despite my effort and im tired.#im Like.#this close to fucking dropping out or somthing I just can’t do this #I don’t want or Need help from anyone online rn I just need a bit of break #technically I cried over how poorly the website I’m doing homework on is codded and then just broke down from there but whatever #like it only takes answers if it’s written in a very specific format but the teacher didn’t fucking bother to tell us what that is #so I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to type in the polynomial remainder nothings working and It’s so frustrating because this #is the right answer and I’ve checked it several times but I haven’t been given the tools to apply it properly and I know no one cares #enoguh to actually see if I know the answer so I just get it wrong #pretty apt medphor for how the shcool system treats neurodivergent people but I digress #okay to rb but leave the tags out of it lol #ry diaries

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bunnyb34r · 27 days

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I'm so tired of being mad and tense all the time man I dont think my shoulders haven't permanently been up by my ears in like a full decade by now

I'm so tired so goddamn tired

#marquilla #this isnt ab anything specific im just really fucking feeling it rn and am trying so goddamn hard not to completely burn out but it #feels like every time i try i get smacked down by SOMETHING like the world. needs to remind me its not okay for me to not be stressed #oh you feel stable for once? not anymore now your family is falling apart. oh you were feeling happy and like your job?? not allowed.#oh sorry you actually thought your happiness was meant to LAST?? go fuck yourself. oh you dared have hope and optimism? dont you know thats #not allowed?#like god im so tired my body hurts so goddamn much #i know my chronic pain is mostly genetic but also being constantly stressed since the point of consciousness forming #has to have done something to exasperate it... like for godsake i have white body hair now WHITE. BODY. HAIR. one gray hair on my head #and everywhere else is patchy with white bc my body is too stressed to make pigment anymore #this kinda is triggered by something specific but it's more like... a mindset that keeps getting forced on me by others i think?#like one that pretty much says 'no you cannot be happy you have to be selfless 24/7 or you will be a disappointment to EVERYONE'#idk im just upset and god forbid but i would like NOT TO BE and apparently thats the wrong choice #didnt you know you're SUPPOSED to be a husk? thst you're SUPPOSED to be near burnt out 24/7?? didnt you mar??? didnt you??#i mean my direct family gets it but... apparently that's it

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jadeddays · 3 months

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i really cant have proper friends at this point because i just get annoyed and i am fully aware that they aren't doing anything wrong or bad but its like. Why do we have to talk everyday? why do you have to ask 20 questions, im tired, theres nothing new going on, lets just chill and leave it at that. how come i can read everyone elses mood but no one can read mine when i need a break

#i feel like im an old dog and everyone else is a puppy #also i dont particularly get lonely often and im pretty content on my own #which is my biggest downfall bc im okay for much longer than anyone else and other people dont like that a lot #like where are the actual loners bro everyone claims theyre a loner but like no you arent lmaooo #and thats okay but i dont have the social battery for all that anymore #i need to meet someone who is fine with a meet and chill once or twice a month vibe #i really found the one person wh i could talk to a lot and not tire out and then they ended up treating me like shit and ever since its #just. i dont even know #im just not sure anymore #i was fine as a little girl but once i hit 14 it all went away and i still dont know why im like this

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hotgirlsoobin · 1 year

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hello rant post you can interact if you're a close mutuals everyone else big no srry

#he posted a pic with this girk today and theyre probably dating #and im pissed not because theyre dating but because its just #why does he get to move on first why did everyone else move on but me #my first ex also moved on before me and just #i will never move on and actually find someone and im tired because okay fine im not pretty im not smart im not anything #but why do they get to move on and not me #im just #unlovable girl swag #nushtext

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shayberri789 · 1 year

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I cannot believe it's fucking December and I STILL spent all day in leggings and a long sleeve. Summer was meant to have arrived two months ago. What the fuck

#like sure i like winter a loy #but i also have a lot of pretty clothes i want to wear! that it is currently too cold for!#this time last year and the year before i had a fan on full blast at me all night as i slept under a single blanket #right now i am tucked into bed under not only my duvet but ALSO a warm blanket #the fan hasnt seen the light of day since i put it away back in februry #we have had like 8 months of cold weather this is getting a bit ridiculous #i am so fucking tired of rain and clouds #i know i never go outside anyway but ID LIKE TO SEE THE SUN #okay rant over goodnight folks #shay posts #actually no last statement:#i have NEVER had a season overlap with europeans or americans #and yet we are still experiencing our winter weather as they begin to get snowed in #wild #im mad

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thebrotherskaramazovs · 2 years

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i hate this i hate this i hate this

#long rant ahead abt my older sister dont read if you dont want to <3 #like already our relationship is strained bc shes one of my best friends but i will always resent her for pushing everything onto me and #being a terrible sister and pretty much having me raise and teach my younger siblings everything while she was off being perfect and getting #good grades while i was failing classes to teach my fucking little sister how to do fractions and giving them lucnh and prioritizing their #needs over mine both mentally and physically and now she cant let me have one thing she cant let me have one fucking thing #i just wanna sleep im so tired and i wanna sleep and she wont let me and im so tired of her bitchy behaviour where everything i say is #turned against me and makes me feel stupid and invalidates me and makes me never wanna ask for anything for myself ever again god i just.#i just wish she actually cared about me in a non superficial way i wish she wasnt so insecure and so jealous and so mean and so inconsiderat #abt the fact that i gave away almost my whole life for her and my younger siblings i ruined relationships and friendships i drop everything #for her the second she asks i’ll defend her against everyone and i’ll never get that back i will always just end up feeling invalidated and #hurt and fuck i dont understand how she can do that how tf can an older sister who was meant to love me not love me #okay anyways sorry i needed to write that down somewhere #min.txt

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alphalesbian · 2 years

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#.................................................................................................................................#so another update on my skin i guess . . .#about a week in and its basically everywhere on my chest and terribly on my back and legs and butt : - ( worst its gotten so far is itchy as #all hell on my side but thankfully so far thats really it....... ive maybe been tired n had a sore ish throat like when i first felt it but #not really anymore.... now its just my skin looking. awful lol everywhere #but....... i found out about this skin thing that looks Exactly The Same As Mine Looks Right Now and that ! was a major relief considering !#its not a serious skin thing and my symptoms almost entirely align with the process so far ! ! !#as much as i am still skeptical im just. i dont know that helped a lot i guess. everything else id found n been thinking it could be were #oretty serious things for the most part which honestly raqcking my brain about that for the past week uh #probably wasnt the best mental health decision to make OTL...............#still gonna go up the mountain for some cheap blood work tommorow..... then back to urgent care on wed/thurs to really make sure its nothing #serious which will also immediately improve my headspace regardless so. thats good too #and the help from my best friend . . . . . . . . . i am so so lucky to have him he is literally so special. i was right at the bottom and he #didnt even hesistate . crazy how that can feel so nice and hurt so much at the same time #hurt really from just honestly how immensely empty i was and how much i really needed that support #still though absolutely heated from. the initial situation and how my main support just kinda fucked off in response lmao! but #all that greif and sadness and ugly crying aside today has been a mostly good day in comparison. let alone finding out something it could #absolutely very well be and its Not Super Serious Necessarily and Pretty Common all things considered #is a big plus. . . . a lot to think about and a lot to do as always just really really gotta keep my head on my shoulders . . . . . . . . .#okay and honestly all that aside ladies it looks. so crazy. i really actually maybe am gonna take pictures of this to really document it nd #even if its a serious thing its like. so crazy looking #feels pretty ridiculous dont get me wrong it literally feels like my skin is fucked up where its raised n swollen but the pattern is #idk medically fascinating to me i guess is the best way to say it lol #how would that be for my first selfie in like 4 years teehee 😌 anyways enough of my ranting but in case anyones interested here ya go . . .

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