#okay ive said enough normal tags now

[khionnom]

some sqh doodles I did after getting a request for him on instagram :,3

still not exactly sure how I wanna draw him and not sure if I like these doodles, but he's just a silly little guy so he deserves to be posted

[peachyonepiece]

appears looking at you with autism creature eyes. hello @sangerie your vs bros fankids (one of which i had a hand in making bc. glances at the reblogs/notes in @loopyarts post. i have confessed there fskakfafsga) are really really neat .u.

SPEAKING of loopyarts ty for allowing me to take inspo for nijis kids raid suit fit!! i really liked the softer yellow and the thicker lightning bolts on his pants you gave him so tysm for letting me yoink it <3

uh uhh individual pieces and also design/character rants under the cut bc. i wanna.

RAID SUIT RAMBLING TIME bc i spent the most time on those. also you might be asking 'why is only their hair rendered in those pieces?' well the answer is because i am Lazy. moving on . (/HJHJ i AM lazy but also rendering it further would mess up the colors and i didn't wanna do that lmao. carrying on..)

Ichiji's daughter i am so SO proud of her fit. i did not look up a reference or even inspo ideas at all, that all came from the ole noggin baybeee. anyways she is obviously based off a magical girl(s) fit bc she wants and DESERVES to be. also since Reiju doesn't have any kids of her own (based wine aunt) i also decided to let Little Red have some of her motifs instead of just purely Ichiji's!! primarily the 66 on her pants but also all the pink on her instead of just red :) and obviously she has her dads number and while she DOES have a (white? bc like daddy shes a special little princess /aff) cape i didn't include it here bc it looked reallly bad lmao. but she does have one tucked into the bow probably!! there she is, Sparkling Red Neo!!! (get it.. sparkling instead of sparking... bc magical girl.... im funny i think.) onto Little Ocean Boy

OKAY LET ME TALK ABOUT THE MOST MINISCULE YET MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL TO ME AND ME ALONE FIRST. that being the symbol on the brats belt. it was actually inspired/based off of this post which really stuck with me with me after reading it which i later realized was bc the "that something has been completely reversed" REMINDED ME OF THIS POST OF YOURS. i don't think im especially good at theory crafting but. idk i think there could be Something about how after judge came and turned germa into mercenaries their symbol turned from what once symbolized 'purity' into the skull of war mongers and then BACK to purity after 0124 get germa on the right path... poetry or smthn. ANYWAYS yah shoe shiners got a pretty basic fit bc like i said in the og ask, hes a sora warrior of the sea fan, once he saw the raidsuits irl methinks he'd want to stay pretty close to the og design. HOWEVER he refuses to drop the hat (much to Niji's dismay) and i came up with a reason besides 'its one piece and therefore there's GOTTA be a kid with a weird hat that they're attached to': and that is the fact that it hides his eyebrows. Little Red has the curly brows, all of Yonji's cabbage patch does too, and the brats the only one without. even if literally no one else notices or cares, he wants to hide the fact that he doesn't have em because it Separates him. and he doesn't want that. at all. he really, Really wants to be a part of this family (oh no i made it. angsty). ANYWAYS UHH YAYYY HE HAS A TWO ON HIS HAT (that he sewed on himself which is why i made sure you can see the stitch-lines) BC NIJIS HIS DAD WAHOO YIPPEE :D:D:D Dengeki Blue Neo: little shoe shiner edition!!

UHH second image is just a refined piece of that first doodle i sent you. with lineart and a better color pallet and all. actually looking at it again now i realize i forgot little brats freckles and i am now punching the air bc its too late to fix. just act like they're there. please :,,,) edit: nvm its the next morning i fixed that kjahsdah

i don't even have much to say about the last two because i Think i am Rightgksfjgasjkfa but for the third i think the brats a bad influence on Little Red especially. ALSO FOR THE FOURTH NO I DIDNT FORGET ICHIJIS TATTOO. I AM JUST LAZY. (and I also forgot his tattoo :]) ANOTHER edit: i also. fixed this :]

CHRIST i am incapable of contacting you on Tumblr via any way that includes anything less than 250 words i am so sorry sangerie.. i hope you like these tho cause i really do tbh :3 (PS you have to take literally NONE of what I said here [mostly about shoe shiner] as like.. canon about them?? these are YOUR ocs obvi so please, change Little Red's raidsuit design if you find it unappealing!! make shoe shiner have a backstory of your own!!! i hope that isnt weird or rude to say, i just thought it was important too bc i threw sm at you so strongly ^^' okay thats all tysm for reading this it means to world to me byebye <3)

[quinn-pop]

for the record, mk’s favorite march sister is amy

(yes im elaborating on a silly doodle i did days ago, yes this is the most unnecessary post ever, move along)

to clarify: im looking at this through the lens of greta gerwig’s little women because in spite of having seen the 1994 version my fair share of times i could tell you almost nothing about it for some reason

i don’t think this is something he’d openly admit because of her more childish scenes. she can be loud and cruel and she burns jo’s writing and so it’s easy to dislike watching her

but she also steps up. “learns her place”. ignores what she feels because she believes she has to become something. although not thoroughly explored in the movie, i gotta imagine how absolutely lonely she must feel.

see where im going with this? i think that would really resonate with him and so her character would grow on him. he’s jealous that she can express her “worst” emotions. he’s annoyed with her pettiness because it’s unreasonable to him. these are the same things he could never allow himself to do or think or feel because he has to be something.

so seeing her change hits. because he did that too. don’t get me wrong im not saying they’re the same character or anything lol but in her he sees the heart of the child he once was and the desperate, lonely person he became.

oh also dedede likes beth because he cries every time a parent or child dies in a movie

[quin-ns]

The blue IV (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for

Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)

Series masterlist + OBX masterlist

As you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, the touch of JJ’s lips against yours still lingered.

You could feel the ghost of his presence, it didn’t matter that he was across the hall, locked behind a door in his own room.

You lifted your hand, your fingertips brushing against your lips. Your face felt warm and you jerked your hand away, but it didn’t stop the memory from keeping you awake all night.

You couldn’t fathom that JJ had kissed you. You should’ve felt betrayed or something, after all he’d always been something akin to a brother to you, but you didn’t. Not really. You were mostly just confused about why you weren’t upset, and you weren’t sure what to do with that feeling.

In the morning you contemplated hiding in your room or fleeing from the house. You weren’t sure you could face JJ—what would you say to him?

It wasn’t like you had done anything wrong, so why did you feel so weird about it? He should feel weird if anything. He kissed you, not the other way around.

Did you kiss back? Even for a second? You were trying to remember.

It’s not like he was a bad kisser. The opposite, actually, but you couldn’t get over asking yourself why he did that.

You couldn’t even feel relief in solving the mystery of what was up with JJ and John B.

Jealousy was hell of a motivator.

Kiara texted you, and you came to a conclusion to your debate. She was up earlier than usual but hey, it was the perfect excuse to get out of the house.

You pulled on fresh clothes for the day and swung your door open.

The universe had a sense of humor, because JJ did the exact same thing. At least, the second part.

He was standing in his doorway across from you in only his boxers. You averted your eyes when you realized that.

“You’re not usually up this early.”

He sounded just as awkward as you felt. You swallowed, eyes flicking anywhere but his tan, exposed skin.

“Neither are you,” you replied, familiar warmth rising to your cheeks. “I’m going to Kie’s.”

“Do you…” JJ trailed off, swallowing back the words.

His instinct was to offer you a ride that way he could make sure you got where you needed to go safely, but it was too soon for both of you evidently.

You took a breath and met his gaze. You could feel him watching you.

“I don’t really know what to say here,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

“That makes two of us.”

The silence that followed felt so thick, filling the air around you.

“If you hate me now, I get it,” he said, voice low, and you could tell he was giving himself hell for it.

You almost laughed at the notion. Almost, but didn’t.

“I’d never hate you, JJ, don’t be stupid.”

Just the thought was absurd—how could he even think that for a second?

“I’m kinda running that department right now, actually.”

“What if we just… forget it?” you offered after a moment.

JJ’s brows twitched up. He hadn’t expected that.

You hadn’t planned on it either, but you didn’t know what else you were supposed to do. Scream at him? Ask him to do it again? No, ignoring it and going back to normal was the only logical choice.

“Okay,” he agreed.

There was something hesitant lingering in the background. You felt it too.

You took a breath. “Okay.”

“So do you want a ride to Kie’s then or…?”

“She's gonna pick me up,” you informed, maybe a little too quickly. JJ got the hint.

“Right. Got it,” he replied in the same tone.

You nodded a little, then turned down the hall. You were going to wait on the porch, that way you could make a clean getaway. If you got in her jeep quick enough maybe she wouldn’t try to stick around to say hi to JJ.

“Hey Y/N?” JJ called right before you turned the corner. You looked back at him, noticing a hint of worry before he masked it with the smallest of smiles. “Thanks for… y’know, not hating me.”

Again, you nodded. You then disappeared, and then wished you had said something, but you were already on the porch. You weren’t going to go back inside, back to the uncomfortable conversation you had just left.

Instead, when Kiara’s jeep eventually appeared, you climbed in and didn’t look back. You just needed to get your mind off of things, and a girls day would help with that.

Except Kie wanted to talk about last night, because of course she did.

The two of you ended up sitting on her bed leaning against the wooden headboard. The Youtube video on her laptop had been long forgotten as she persisted in getting an answer from you about what happened with JJ. You wouldn’t give her details despite how bad she wanted them.

“Are things good now at least?” she finally asked instead.

You swallowed, resisting the urge to lick your lips. JJ had taken up residence in the back of your mind the entire day.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” you replied vaguely, not quite meeting her eye. “He was just being protective of me. You know how it’s been.

Kiara hummed, seemingly agreeing. “He seemed way more pissed, but if it’s cool then it’s cool. I don’t get the big deal anyway, you’re your own person,” she started. “The ‘protective big brother’ thing can’t last forever.”

As she said the words, paired with air quotes, you cringed. Overnight you decided you didn’t like that title for him anymore, not when you knew what his lips felt like.

“He’s not my brother,” you muttered, more so to remind yourself of that fact. It wasn’t exactly cut and dry perfectly fine, but it could be worse right?

Kie gave you a look of concern. She heard, and hadn’t been expecting it.

“Are you sure everything is fine?”

You nodded, forcing out a chuckle. “Yeah, I already told you.” You nudged her with your elbow and she let herself smile, but it appeared to be cautious.

You ended up deciding to spend the night at Kie’s, texting JJ in the afternoon what your plans were. As strange as things felt, you didn’t want him to worry about where you were all night. He read the text but didn’t respond. At least he knew. You didn’t bother notifying Luke, you never had and it had never been a problem. He didn’t care.

You did worry about JJ though, hoping that nothing awful happened in your absence.

Your stomach was still churning with guilt when last minute Kiara asked if you wanted to go to an outdoor movie when the sun started to set.

“Yeah, sure,” you agreed, starting to feel claustrophobic in her bedroom anyway. “What movie?”

“Not sure, but Pope and JJ are going so if it sucks we can all make fun of it,” she replied.

A part of you was glad JJ wasn’t home alone with his dad (a big part, actually). The other part felt a rush of anxiety at the prospect of seeing him. What would you say to him? Could you two actually pretend everything was normal?

You’d seen JJ tell pretty believable lies, but he wasn’t exactly a professional at being able to hide his emotions.

Then again, he’d kept his real feelings hidden from you for who knows how long.

It was too late to back out. Kie was already searching for her car keys, with shoes on and her hair up, ready to go.

You were quiet in the jeep, which she might’ve noticed if you hadn’t requested to blast music with the windows down. Anything to drown out your thoughts and Kiara’s potential questions.

When Kiara pulled into the parking area of the field, the sun had already set. Perfect for a projector movie night.

That was one of the fun things about living in Kildare, the random little events that went on. Movie nights were common in the summer. Everyone would bring their own chairs and blankets, a projector would get set up, and concession sales would fund the whole thing. It was on the Kook’s side of the island where Kiara lived, but it wasn’t uncommon for both sides to attend, and it was peaceful for the most part.

You and Kie each grabbed a chair from the back of her car. They were dinky little beach chairs, but it was better than sitting in the grass.

It was a little crowded when the two of you began to weave through people, searching for the two boys, your main light source being the large projector.

Finally, towards the middle, you saw Pope stick his hand in the air and wave. You had just enough light to confirm it was him.

“Hey, they got a decent spot,” Kiara commented, leading the way to the them. You only hummed in response.

Pope and JJ already had the area set up. A blanket they both sat on, a cooler that JJ leaned his back on, and a big bag of pretzels Pope probably snatched from his family’s cabinet.

“You guys made it just in time,” Pope said, smiling up at you and Kie. “They’re starting in a few minutes.”

Your eyes flicked to JJ, who had adverted his gaze from you. He seemed really interested in the loading screen up ahead.

Kiara set her chair down next to the blanket, and you opted to put yours next to her. It was inconspicuous enough, no one would think you were putting space between yourself and JJ (even if you were).

“Is John B coming?” Kie wondered, asking no one in particular.

Pope glanced to JJ, which you only noticed because you had done the same thing. Had JJ told Pope?

No, definitely not. Pope would’ve had something to say about it for sure. He wouldn’t have asked you all to hang out in such a casual manner if he knew.

“Don’t know,” JJ said, opening the cooler and fishing out a beer. He popped the cap off and took a long drink. “Did you guys let him know?”

“No,” Kie said, dropping down into her chair.

“Well, there’s your answer,” JJ said with a shrug.

Kiara made a face.

“So you still have an attitude?”

“Can we just watch the movie?” you jumped in, sitting down in your chair.

The movie coming on a few seconds after your words halted any argument that could transpire. You were relieved to say the least.

You focused on the movie, trying to get into it, not letting your gaze wander. You made back and forth comments under your breath with Kiara, and sometimes you’d lean past her when Pope had something to say. JJ was quiet, which was abnormal for him. He was always talkative during movies, cracking jokes alongside you. If it wasn’t for the tension lingering between the two of you you might’ve forgotten he was even there.

You thought about trying to make a joke to get him involved in the little conversations, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. Nothing sounded clever enough to say aloud to him. You used to not think about how your words would sound to him, but now you concerned yourself with it. What you’d say to JJ if you could manage it, or if he was at least overhearing your comments to Pope and finding amusement in them—you cared too much about that all the sudden. Did he think you were funny?

Trying to be normal with JJ around was significantly harder than you thought it would’ve been, despite being the one who suggested it.

How were you supposed to be casual around your step brother who kissed you? You hadn’t thought it through in the morning, and it became clear to you that both you and JJ knew things weren’t copacetic. Problem was you didn’t know how to fix it.

You could feel JJ looking at you every once in a while, but you avoided his eyes. Not only did you not know what to say to him, but even if you did, the two of you couldn’t exactly talk about it in front of your friends.

After about an hour into the movie, the opportunity arose when JJ stood up out of nowhere.

“I’m gonna get something to eat,” he mumbled, making his way to the little building nearby.

“We have pretzels left,” Pope offered, but it fell on deaf ears. He looked at you and Kiara once JJ was out of earshot. “Is he still mad at John B about yesterday? He’s been weird all day and John B isn’t even here.”

When Kie turned to face you, you realized he was just talking to you.

You shrugged and said, “I wish I could tell you.” Neither of them looked convinced. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m not his keeper.”

“No, but you live together and you’re the person he trusts the most,” Pope acknowledged, worry in his tone. “If he would go to anyone it would be you.”

“He hasn’t said anything to you?” you asked.

Pope shook his head.

“They’re best friends, even when they argue they get over it,” Kie reminded.

“Did he ask you to not invite John B?” you continued questioning Pope, remembering JJ’s comment from before.

“No, John B’s working tonight. Something with the Cameron boat.”

“He definitely still seems mad at him,” Kie said, a knowing tone in her voice as she looked to you. “You never told me—what did he say to you when you got home?”

You could’ve lied but your brain wouldn’t come up with anything.

“Nothing really. Can we just watch the movie?” you asked instead. “Please?”

Everything had been fine just a day ago and now it was all so overwhelming.

Pope and Kie exchanged a look, but didn’t discuss further. It took about ten minutes for Pope to speak up again.

“JJ still isn’t back…” he noticed aloud. He craned his neck to look towards the snack line, but it was definitely no use. “Maybe someone should go find him.”

Someone. He meant you, didn’t he? You gave Pope a look, and he shrugged.

“Do you want me to go?” Kiara offered.

You shook your head. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t, not really, but you got up anyway.

You crossed your arms over your chest as you walked to the small building, searching around for a sign of something familiar—blonde hair, his shirt or anything to tip you off. It took a bit of wandering, but you eventually found JJ. He wasn’t in line, but around the back of the concession building.

He was alone, sitting on the ground, a flask in his hand, and his back against the stone wall.

“You disappeared,” you commented, drawing his attention. You approached him, leaning on your side against the wall next to him.

Blue eyes turned up to you.

“They send you to find me?” he guessed snarkily. “I’m fine, thanks. You can go.”

You scoffed at his tone. “This is your plan, then? To hide back here and get drunk?” You guess whatever was in the flask was stronger than beer.

Something between a look of sadness and frustration crossed his features.

“What else am I supposed to do? Clearly you can’t stand to be around me,” he shot back, glaring up at you.

You were taken aback, jaw falling slack.

“I was the one that said we can forget it and go back,” you reminded.

JJ scoffed at that, getting to his feet, leaving his flask to fall to the ground.

“Then why can you barely look at me?” he asked, gesturing with his hands, defeated. You proved his point as you failed to meet his gaze directly. “I mean seriously, even Pope knows something is going on.”

If this had been a regular conversation, you might’ve laughed. Even with how smart he was, Pope could be oblivious sometimes. It was one of the running jokes amongst your friends. But now didn’t feel like a time for jokes.

You straightened up, standing across from him, holding your ground.

“I’m looking at you right now,” you stated, albeit with much less conviction than before. You did indeed meet his eyes, but it was forced, and meant you had to see the pain in them. You hated seeing JJ in pain. “It’s not too late to pretend things are normal.”

JJ laughed. It carried all the hurt he was struggling to keep in, the sound lacking nearly all humor. He took a step closer.

“Don’t you get it? There is no normal. Not for me,” he confessed, deeper emotion creeping into his voice. “There never has been and you—you act like you can’t even be around me now so I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.” The whole time he had been moving toward you absentmindedly, only noticing the close proximity when you had to look up to meet his gaze. He took a shaky breath, eyes pleading with you. “I can’t stop feeling the way I feel so just—just tell me what to do.”

“JJ…” you started softly, not knowing what to say to fix this. He must’ve been carrying this around for so long and all you wanted to do was help.

You weren’t sure who was more surprised when you pulled him into a hug, JJ or you. But he fell into your embrace regardless. He circled his arms around your waist when you wrapped yours around him. He held you tight, pressing his entire body to yours, like you could slip away any second. JJ’s head fell to your shoulder, and you couldn’t help but run your hand soothingly across his back. You could feel his heart racing in his chest and smell the fresh alcohol on his breath. He didn’t sound buzzed but it would’ve been his goal if you hadn’t interrupted.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you assured quietly.

Something about your words made him straighten up. You saw how his eyes glistened and the pout on his lips. The bruise on his cheek still lingered. A strand of his hair had fallen into his face and you brushed it back into place.

You always knew JJ was handsome, but right now, looking at him, the word beautiful came to mind. There was something about him that made it hard to look away.

Your eyes fell to his lips, recalling how they had felt pressed against yours.

You and JJ hadn’t always been close, but now you could hardly remember a time when you weren’t attached at the hip. It didn’t matter how recent that change had happened. He was always there to make you smile or comfort you in his own way, and you did the same for him. He always looked out for you, and you took care of him when he needed it the most.

Your relationship had never been very sibling-like the more you thought about it. Siblings weren’t close in the way you and JJ were. Why did it take you so long to realize that?

The proximity had to be clouding your mind. You felt overwhelmed by JJ’s presence and just… you glanced around, making sure no one was around to see. You two were alone behind the building, the movie and people sounding miles away.

Ever so delicately, your hand rose to his uninjured cheek. You heard JJ’s breath hitch as you leaned in. He lowered his head and let you kiss him softly, meeting you halfway.

You didn’t know what had come over you, but heat filled your body at the way his hand fell to hold your waist.

JJ made an attempt to deepen the kiss, and you let him. His tongue tasted yours and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped you.

That triggered something in him. JJ turned the both of you, backing you against the wall. Your back hit stone as he pressed himself against you. His kiss became more desperate, like he was afraid he was dreaming and might wake up. You tangled a hand into his hair and he groaned into your mouth before kissing you harder.

What the fuck were you doing? This was about the last thing you had planned and you didn’t even understand why it was happening. It was like the moment he kissed you just a night ago your brain was sent in a confusing spiral trying to place what you felt for him now that another option had opened up.

But had it really? This was wrong, it didn’t matter how good or how natural kissing JJ felt. It didn’t matter if you had come to the realization your relationship was more complex than you initially assumed. You both knew you shouldn’t be doing this, it was evident from the way you hid what happened from your friends, so how could it be okay?

You let your hand fall from his hair the deeper you sunk into contemplation. Your body pressed further back into the wall. You were retreating, and JJ could tell. He parted from you, noticing the way you turned your head away as if to prevent him from leaning back in.

“What’s wrong?” he asked carefully, nose nearly brushing your cheek.

“We…” You were trying to catch your breath. “We can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

You heard him swallow, stunned.

“You’re sorry?” He stepped back, face shifting between a flurry of emotions as he tried to figure out what to say to you. You wouldn’t know what to say to you either if you were JJ. “First I kiss you and you ignore me, now you kiss me and you’re sorry?”

You met his gaze, begging him to understand. Tears stung at your eyes and you blinked them away. You had a lapse in judgment and you knew you fucked up.

“I know, and I—“

“Don’t apologize!” You winced at the way he raised his voice, but you guessed you deserved it. You really wanted to sink back into the wall when his eyes filled with sorrow. You’d never been the cause of him looking at you in such a way and it felt awful. “Are you trying to hurt me?”

“That’s the last thing I want,” you professed, throat thick, but he shook his head.

“Then tell me what you want.”

What did you want? It shouldn’t have been a question that puzzled you, but in that moment, you found yourself without a true answer.

So, your mind went to the default, trying to preserve some sense of morality.

“We just need to forget it, alright?”

JJ scoffed. “You said that before and look how well that worked out.”

Your heart clenched in your chest as you said, “I mean it this time.”

JJ eyed you for a long time, silence heavy between the two of you. He was trying to figure out what to say to that. Obviously he didn’t agree, but how could he argue?

“Whatever,” he finally muttered.

JJ scooped his flask up off the ground. His hand pressed to his chest and you knew how deeply you messed up. He didn’t spare you another glance as he stormed off, leaving you teary eyed and alone against the wall with the knowledge that you screwed things up worse than he had before.

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, just an ask or reply to lmk 🫶

The blue taglist: @empath-bunny @juniebugg @lashay28 @redhead1180 @mariaeirhnh @wearemadeofstardust0 @obxwatcherficreader

[leafostuff]

Eyes On me [Ft. IVE's Liz]

Tags: panic attacks comfort, fluff, girlfriend!Liz

Author's note: It's been a while since I wrote for IVE, but I hope this one will do well. Plus, this will be a callback to my wattpad Era, where I used to do more comfort fics.

========================

there are three kinds of nights in your life.

The first kind is the normal nights, which after hitting the gym, eating dinner, taking a shower, and living overall like a functioning member of society you find yourself falling asleep at 11 PM, maybe 12 AM if you are really not that tired.

The second kind is the nights where you decide to laugh at the concept of sleep, channel your inner shut in and play video games for the whole night, or just goof off with your friends on discord until the sun rises

However, sometimes you have those nights where you find yourself in your bathroom at 3 AM, throwing up all of the food you ate in the entire day and overall being miserable?

Unfortunately, tonight was the third kind of night.

Do you have any idea how you got to this situation? Nope, all you could remember is that around 1 AM, you could only feel your stomach hurting like crazy, your anxiety levels going to the 11 forcing you to go to the bathroom to try and calm yourself

However, even after an hour this was to no avail since still you found yourself throwing up while your eyes were full of tears. "Absolutely fantastic, now the one thing that can fuck me up is-" your thoughts were suddenly stopped by a light touch on your shoulder

As you look up you find your girlfriend Kim Jiwon looking at you, she was wearing a white sweatshirt, which was probably stolen from your closet.

Long black hair just like the night sky and eyes that could show sadness was the only thing you could see from your fully teared eyes as your girlfriend kneeled down before you, letting her arms wrap around your body.

"Another anxiety attack?" She asked since those events were not new to your girlfriend, at least once a month she had to stay up all night with you to try and relax you, to the point it was impressive how she still wanted to stay with you

5 minutes of brushing your teeth and a spare change of pajamas later you walked toward your shared bed with Jiwon as she looked at you with a weak smile, but it was enough to make you feel happy and in the same time: somehow guilty

"Do you know what happened that you are feeling like that?" You simply shook your head in response as she just sighed, "Oh well, it's OK... let's just go to the bed ok? After you brush your teeth" she added, trying to close her nose to block the scent of the puke.

"I don't deserve you." That was the first thing you said while you inched slowly toward Jiwon as she laid her head on your shoulder.

"Ahhhh, so that is what you are anxious about?" She asked while she turned on the TV to a random episode of friends. You could only nod as your girlfriend pulled you into an embrace

"I just..." You hesitated, which in reaction Liz leaned and kissed your forehead. Even after numerous times, she has done that it still surprises you

"Just what?" she asked, he eyes pleading for an answer as you couldn't handle it anymore

"That I am too anxious for you" her reaction could only be puzzled as she tilted her head sideways, letting you explain

"You just... deserve someone who isn't depressed all the time or a scar-" You were shutted by your girlfriend's lips on yours, their sweet taste however was short.

"I. Will. Always. Love. You, " Liz said, each word was spoken clearly as your cheeks turned red from embarrassment. However, as you tried to turn away, both her palms on your cheeks, forcing you to look at her pleading eyes.

"Eyes On me okay baby? I will always love you, say it" she requests as you have no choice but to sigh and comply

"I will always love you" you recited her words as she smiled cutely and pecked your lips.

"Good, now... let's go sleep okay, baby?" She asked, however, as her hands went over to your back she could feel you shake.

"...you are still stressed, right? It's ok, let me help you relax, " she said as her hands reached to your back under your shirt, her fingers lightly tapping on your back, causing you to instinctively let your head find its rest on her chest.

You slowly start to destress yourself by taking deep breaths, "Good baby...I'm here for you," she said while pecking your forehead, "you need this sleep...more than me" she added as you finally close your eyes, the first snore is able to be heard from your unconscious self.

And the last words you manage to hear before fully drifting into dreams.

========================

[reorientation]

okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

[timmy-bee]

hello beautiful people of tumblr.would you care to hear about this beautiful au ive come up with

boatem as liella (MORE ACTUAL THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT/A RUNDOWN OF WHOS WHO AND WHY)

mumbo as ren - ren is the school concil presiendet and mumbo is ceo… its like the same almost - ren is high class which means RICH!! mumbo is the RICHEST HERMIT!! - generaly formal guys that are very silly - i think like.cannot explain it but like if mumbo saw something serious he would act like he didnt see it (ren saw chisato was going to leave the school she acted like she didnt see it…) - "Her favorite saying is, "Never forget why you started."" <-mumbocore - ren got addicted to video games? MINECRAFT? pearl as chisato - pearl would work at a food truck in my head it feels fitting - she wold most DEFINITELY be the one to train the other guys with dancing & other stuff - gossip girl - okay so chisatos whole thing in ep 5(?) where she was getting left out when kanon keke and sumire were with sunny passion because she was so involved with the idol group but wasnt actually an idol herself ? yeah pearl coded impulse as kanon - shes like. . . just normal girl and impulse is just normal guy but theyre both actually weird (/AFF POS) - impulse would like .. . want to get into something and DESERVE to get into said thing but then absolutely die from anxiety during the audition / interview and not get in - the impulse and scar dynamic that comes from them being kanon and keke.. . . . - I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE I DONT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IMPULSE scaar as keke - scar biggest hypeman to anyone ever i think " this is my little guy and if you dont clap and cheer for him ill blow this place to the ground " energy - ALL OF KEKE ENERGY IS SO SCAR!! - "NO IDOL GROUP ALLOWED?! THIS IS PUPOSTERUS! [IMPULSE]. WE NEED TO QUIT THIS SCHOOL RIGHT NOW" - completely hyped up to do something but then when it comes to doing it dies of anxiety but then bounces back instantly - keke images that are scar coded to me below - they both would and have chased down someone

grian as sumire - grian's the kind of guy to kidnap someone take them to his house/shrine and try to preform some stupid magic to get them to forget something that happened but also is actively learning the magic while he does it - SUMIRES LIKE!! the thing where she says "GALAXY!!" thats a bit grian coded to me i dont know what hed say though - grian WOULD stand out in the rain desperate for someone to team up with him just like how sumire stood out in the rain desperate for someone to scout her (cough cough SECRET LIFE cough cough) - like with sumire's thing about how when she was a child she only got side parts in stuff and she wanted to be the center in liella but then when they voted for kanon to be the center and she quit…. grian coded - grian wouldve done something embarrassing as a child thats everywhere on the internet if you search hard enough and his friends tease him about it THOSE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THESE HERMITS AND ANYTHING OF LIELLA REBLOG WITH THOUGHTS AND ADDITIONS IN THE TAGS ILL ADD TO THE POST !!!!!!!!!! or send an ask too

[doctorvictoria10]

A stressful admission

Tags - ED admission, nervous patient, slight cardio, slight ageplay, medical trauma, comfort.

Bright lights. Beeping machines. Fast paced conversations. Orders.

“Get her hooked up to the sats monitor”

“What’s her heart rate doing now?”

“Her peripheral perfusion isn’t great, can we get an IV sited please?”

“She’s coming round! Chloe, can you hear me?” An older woman’s voice rings in her ears. “Chloe, squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” A warm hand slips into her own and brings her round that bit more. Chloe squeezes her hand as tightly as she can, but her fingers only move slightly.

“Well done Chloe.” The older woman praises. “She’s responding,” she calls out to the other voices.

“What’s happening?” Chloe croaks out quietly, still very disoriented. Her eyes focus on the woman next to her holding her hand. She’s maybe in her forties, with blonde hair and hazel eyes, a stethescope around her neck and glasss perched on the end of her nose.

“You’re at the hospital Chloe, you were found collapsed and brought in by the ambulance. Do you remember what happened?” She asked calmly.

“I, I don’t remember. I didn’t feel well, I was so tired, I had pain.” She trailed off, her brow furrowing trying to summon the blurry memories to the forefront of her mind.

“You had pain where?” The woman pushed.

“Here.” She replied, bringing her hand slowly up to her chest, and the woman’s eyes widened slightly.

A bustling noise of flimsy curtains alerted Chloe someone else had entered her room. The nurse looked up from Chloe to the person who had just entered.

“What’s the story?” A male voice asked in a rushed tone.

“This is Chloe, a twenty six year old female, found in a car park collapsed. Obs are stable now apart from a slight tachycardia, she has just come round and told me she felt unwell and had chest pain before she became unconscious. That’s all we have at the moment.” The nurse replied quickly.

“Okay, let’s get an IV in, bloods sent, fluids running. ECG. Have we got a blood glucose yet?” The male voice rushes. A wave of panic surges through Chloe, she hates hospitals, always has since she was a little girl and she had her appendix removed as an emergency surgery. And she hated not being involved in the conversation when it involved her body, especially if it was going to be unpleasant. She worked in obstetrics herself and knew how often doctors sadly didn’t respect their patients bodily autonomy.

“No, not yet, I can get a reading for you now if you like?” The nurse spoke and stood up, rummaging in the drawers by Chloe’s bed.

“Yes, let’s get that quickly and see what it is.” The doctor said.

Panic swelled again. “I don’t want that.” She spoke timidly, and she felt the gaze of the nurse and the doctor on her. “I’m not hypoglycaemic, I don’t need it. And I don’t need an IV. I’m going to go home now.” She tried to sit up but was too weak and she fell back onto the bed on her side.

The nurse looked at her with pity. “Chloe, we don’t know why you had chest pain and collapsed, but that’s not normal for a girl of your age, we need to rule things out so we can look for the issue and make you feel better.” She tried to calm her down.

“I already feel better, I’m fine! Can you call me a taxi please?” She tried to sound convincing. If she spoke with enough confidence maybe they’d let her go.

The nurse chuckled quietly. “No no, you won’t be going anywhere darling. Just relax so we can take care of you, it’s no good getting upset or worked up, it’ll just increase your heart rate more which we really don’t want! Are you from a medical background?” The nurse caught on.

“Yes, I work here at the hospital but over in the outpatient obstetric unit.” She spoke even quieter, she was feeling dizzy again.

The nurse nodded, preparing a lancet and cotton ball for a glucose reading. “Have you worked there long?” She tried to distract the anxious girl. The doctor was in the corner preparing an IV.

“Stop stop stop!” Chloe flailed. “I don’t want any of this! No needles! I want to go home! I hate hospitals! Please let me go home!” Her voice began to crack and her eyes began to shine with the promise of tears.

The nurse paused and looked at her slightly surprised. The doctor spun around too, walking up to her with the IV set in his gloved hands. “Chloe,” he began firmly, “are you going to let us look after you or not?” He continued.

“No.” She answered hurriedly. He sighed and looked at the nurse a little exasperated. Part of her felt bad, he’d probably had a really long day of difficult patients, she was just adding to his mental load but she couldn’t help herself - the panic she was feeling was taking on a mind of its own, taking over her body and putting her into a more childlike and defensive state of mind.

“Okay. What if we try and get a doctor from your department to come over and treat you? Would that be better?” He tried. Chloe thought it over. She knew they weren’t going to let her go like this, and she didn’t feel well at all. Having someone she knew do the scary bits might not make it as scary… even if the doctors she worked with weren’t necessarily the type of doctors she’d want to be looked after by, their bedside manner a little abrupt and harsh for her liking. Before she could properly think, she was nodding and pulling her knees close to her body, resting her elbows on them.

The doctor looked at her making herself as small as possible and knew she was retreating inwards. “Chloe, you said you don’t like hospitals, or being a patient I suppose is a better phrase as you work in one, but can I ask why that is?” He spoke a little more gently.

“When I was nine, I had my appendix out, it was an emergency and it was terrifying. I never want to feel like that again, so vulnerable and having my autonomy taken away from me…” she trailed off. The doctor nodded, he understood how traumatic emergency surgeries could be, especially to children who had a reduced understanding of the situation.

“I understand how that experience can make you feel nervous now. Thank you for telling me. I’ll try and organise for a doctor that you know to come over and sort your care. But in the meantime, please try to keep your heart rate down, or I will need to put that IV in myself.” He spoke. He meant for it to be comforting but he realised after the words had left his mouth that it sounded a bit like a threat. He cringed slightly at his words, knowing they may not be received well by the anxious girl in front of him. He patted her knee lightly and nodded to the nurse to follow him out of the room. “This is your call bell. If you feel worse please let us know.” He handed her a remote with a yellow button at the top.

“Okay, thanks.” Chloe spoke timidly and watched them leave the room. She sat there for what felt like an hour, in a tiny ball on the bed, she began to feel cold but there was no blanket in the room. Her anxiety was rolling in her chest, threatening to bubble up out of her. ‘Stay calm, stay calm’ she told herself on repeat, and then, there was a knock at the door.

Part 2?🖤

[yinyuedijun]

hiiiii i have not read or seen windbreaker my only interactions with it are bc some of my moots r into it now so ive read some fics and i saw tokyo vice on my dash and i was really pulled in by the summary so i read both parts and sincerity and the little prequel piece and oh my god it’s so good. i love the humor, the narrative voice is so witty. suo’s character is so intriguing bc as much as the reader loves and knows him there’s still so much going on that we can only guess at and i felt like that was communicated really well. i enjoyed the fact that sincerity and the prequel let us see their relationship at a different time and how we got to where they are in the present. im really interested in the reader and i felt like u did such a good job of weaving in the comedy to make some of her internal dialogue more lighthearted while still developing her emotional state really well. plus the smut was insane like 11/10 no notes. when the reader said she was excited for pussy inspections >>> like fuck yea me too!!! but anyways i loved the details we learn about her and how her fantasy is have really mundane romantic and vanilla sex. it really speaks to just how fucked up her life has been to the point where her biggest romantic dream is just to have regular sex with the man she loves. like ugh the angst interspersed with the comedy and smut was just chef's kiss. AND THAT ENDING??? WHEN HE THINKS SHE'S ASLEEP. like that did tug at my heartstrings especially when he talked about what their old friends think of him :(( and how if he was a better man he'd let her go. i read another organized crime x civilian fic for a different fandom a few years ago and it ended with the civilian person leaving his partner/his partner letting him go bc the deeper the partner he got into organized crime the more unhinged he became and how his mental state began affecting the civilian. thats a really condensed way of explaining but the events were crazy and it had me crying and screaming every chapter but that's something that ive never seen in other yakuza/gang/organized crime aus so i thought it was really cool to see how that is something that suo thinks about and has to come to terms with now that its been a few years and he can look back at his behavior.

but anyways i really really loved it and im gonna watch/read windbreaker as soon as i can now :)) so thank u for the wonderful fic 🙂‍↕️ and is tokyo vice over? i dont think i saw a completed tag on it on ur masterlist so i wanted to ask if u were leaving the world open

ANONNN I LOVE U SO MUCH TRULY THANK YOU!! 🥹 tokyo vice was an absurd self-indulgent project so I'm so very happy you gave it a shot despite not being into wbk!!! I must confess that it's wildly different from canon LOL but I do adore the canon series nevertheless, and I hope you enjoy it :-) (let us know if you do!!!)

I can't thank you enough for sending such juicy feedback abt tokyo vice, especially about the reader! I did find it somewhat stressful trying to balance the comedy of her narration with the horny and angsty and deranged events of the plot, so I'm glad that you liked that aspect of the fic !!! 🥹 and yeah despite all the comedy, she really is a traumatized meow meow. but it's okay, she can now have the normal sex of her dreams with the love of her life - as long as she can survive 4 months of orgasm denial before their wedding 😭

and LOL I love yandere charas with self-awareness so in general I love writing arcs where they love the reader enough to understand that they should let them go. the plot you're describing is sooooo up my alley and I think suo would absolutely have that thought process if the reader were even remotely mentally normal. unfortunately she is equally insane. I guess that is the tragedy of it for suo - he knows that he can never get better, and he also knows that as long as they are together, she can never get better either. fortunately for him, she could not care less ♥️

I do think tokyo vice is complete, but I do want to finish that sakura wip at some point and also write about suo and mc's sex life after they get together (which is very nasty premaritally and then really vanilla and emotional on their wedding night). I want to finish this kitsune suo pwp first though and finish my ffg commitments too 😭

anyway sorry for yapping so much HAHAH I'm just so happy that you commented on all these aspects of the fic!! thank you for reading and for sending such a wonderful ask 🥺💗

[dckweed]

hello babes, ive been working hard on plotting this series for weeks now and im quite happy to be posting the first part! Now look, im normally a tom cruise gal okay? And I went into TGM totally expecting to have my usual Tom moments like I do with any of his movies (im looking at you Top Gun, Days of Thunder, and the outsiders) but i..i had my fair share of moments over every character okay? And currently, my fixations are Bob and Hangman.

Hence, my baby Sugar Sweet was born at the moment i have this plotted for five parts, but it could definitely be extended. Please comment below and let me know if you'd like to be added to a TGM tag list ! Reblogs are always appreciated and feel free to send in some requests !

summary: hangmans very existence annoys you, he thinks you're adorably easy to frustrate. maverick knows your situation and knows you need a roommate. when he says he knows a guy named jake, you don't expect him to bring hangman to your doorstep. but can you really afford to turn him away?

warnings: mentions of death, glen powell himself is a warning because just mm he's so mouthwatering, mentions of body/weight, roommate!jake, cursing, angst? no fluff yet, no smut yet. this is fairly slow burn. reader is mostly referenced to as SUGAR..

word count: 3,519.

SUGAR SWEET, jake "hangman" seresin.

Looking back on it, Jake had never really been sure what he actually liked in a woman, every woman he'd ever slept with was usually somewhat tall and usually pretty thin, most had smaller breasts and tight little asses, and for most of his sexual adult life, that's just what he assumed his type was. Though, when he got to thinking about it, none of these girls had ever given him the feeling that his friends talked about when they were with their significant others, hell he had even asked his brother during his wedding reception how he knew that his sister in law was the one and all he had said was "i just knew". God, looking back on it now, Jake had thought that was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. His brother had gone on to explain that he just had this feeling with his wife, one that he had never felt before with anyone else (and like Jake, his brother had seen his fair share of women). Jake thought that that was absurd too. 

Well, until you came along that is..

Jake was a gym rat through and through. He spent alot of his down time at the gym, he loved watching the way his muscles worked and grew the more that he did, the longer that he did it, and he loved finding new ways to challenge his body.. So, when their top secret detachment was finished and the Top Gun leaders requested the dagger squad to stick around for a while as a more permanent group, he knew that the gym at the base just wasn't going to cut it for him anymore, and before he bothered looking for a more permanent place to live, he sought out the best gym in town. The one that just so happened to be your place of work. 

You weren't necessarily the normal person you'd find in the gym, sure there were thick girls in here, but they were girls that were thick in all the right places, with tight abs. You? You were on the opposite end of the spectrum. You were short, and curvier than a country back road, of which got you plenty of male attention sure enough when you were in your teens and were smaller than what you were now, but stress and constant working had taken its toll on you and your previous work out regiment, because of course you weren't an absolute stranger to working out. At twenty five you now had a bit of a pudgy stomach, and you swore your hair was already turning gray from the stress of your life but your little brother constantly reassured you that you were just insane, something you desperately adored about him, though you would never tell him that he was the main cause of your stress. 

Needless to say, you weren't what most people expected to see when they first walked into the Iron Side gym, and you certainly weren't what Jake was expecting when he walked in the morning after buying his membership, gym bag slung over his shoulder. He looked like a God wrapped in sunshine, was your first thought when the bells above the door tinkled, before you recognized who he was and rolled your eyes. 

You'd seen him around before, when you caught the late evening shift a few nights a week at the hard deck, he was always the most noticeable one in the group of pilots he hung with, but how could he not be? Always so loud and obnoxious..God, what was it his friends called it? Badman? Bagdude? Ba.. "Bagman, isn't it?" You say, finally landing on a name you had heard thrown around towards him once or twice. 

He raises his eyebrows, pushing his sunglasses up onto the top of his head. "..fancy meeting you here, sugar.." He says, fishing for your name, he knew it somewhere in the back of his brain, had heard Bob or maybe it was Rooster call you by it a few different times. He'd only seen you a handful of times, enough to know you only worked the bar a couple nights a week, if that, and definitely enough to know that he hadn't ever expected you to be at the gym, let alone, his gym. 

"It's Y/N," You say, irritated as he sends you a flirty smirk. You roll your eyes as he fondles for his membership card on his key ring, holding the orange and black plastic card up to the scanner. It beeps once before he walks away, tossing you a look over his shoulder as he heads towards the locker room. 

"Well, Y/N, the names Hangman." He winks at you, and you roll your eyes, plopping back down into your desk chair. You didn't have times for guys like him, and the games they brought with them. You'd had your fair share of them too. 

It isn't hard to ignore him, the gym isn't too busy but you have phone calls to focus on, reminding patrons that their memberships are coming due again, though that doesn't stop you from noticing him a few times, your eyes catching once or twice on the way the muscles in his back moved as he worked at the cable machine, the lat pull downs really doing what they were supposed to..

You must've been staring for longer than you realized, mind drifting off in a daze because before you know it, there's a chin dropping on your shoulder and strands of curly hair whispering at your face. "Whatcha lookin' at?" The familiar voice asks, you let out a small screech jumping in your seat before relaxing, your hand going to the side of the boys face to give an affectionate pat to his cheek. "Jesus, Y/N, jumpy much?" He chuckles, pulling back from you. 

"You scared the shit out of me Kai!" You half yell, standing to your feet to fully look at him. He ducks as you bring a hand up to swat at him, and backs away with a shit eating grin. You notice a dark forming bruise in his hairline as he does and you narrow your eyes at him. "What the fuck is that?" You ask, grabbing his chin in your hand and turning his head to the side. The bruise is large, and goes down towards his ear, like someone had boxed him real good. "Kai Alexander did you get into another fucking fight?" 

He pushes your hand away, eyes flitting around the gym. You look around too, rolling your eyes when you notice Hangman looking your way, your voice probably prompting him to pause his workout. 

"It was an accident okay? I promise, im fine.." He says, voice more hushed now. You notice he's wearing a black hoodie with the gyms logo on it, and a pair of shorts. He had come to work out, you figured you could at least let him and save the interrogating for at home. 

You sigh, hands on your hips. "Alright, fine..go get your training in.." He kisses the top of your head before heading off towards the same area Hangman was in, you watch as they talk to each other for a brief moment, Hangman looking back over at you with pursed lips before going back to whatever he was doing. 

"An accident my fucking ass.." You mutter, sinking down into your chair again with a groan, your brother really was the cause of most of your stress. 

The rest of your day drags on, and by mid afternoon you're more than grateful for the second receptionist and floor manager to make his arrival. "It's been pretty slow, but there's supposed to be a few group training sessions tonight.." You say, grabbing your purse and water bottle and motioning for your brother to head towards your car. He had been hanging around cleaning some of the equipment for you while you worked, stressful as he may be, he was still always helpful to you in that kind of way. 

The drive home is quiet and you both sigh when the front door of your small house closes behind you, a stack of over due bills clutched tightly in your hands. You were in need of a roommate, something you'd desperately been trying to find for the past month or so, someone who could help pay rent and utilities, because even with two jobs you just weren't cutting it alone. 

"I'm going to get ready for my shift at the bar, let me know what you want for supper and ill make it for you before i have to leave.." It had been two years since your father had passed away, two long years and you had done everything in your power to make life at home as normal for your brother as possible, which included eating supper together every night. 

Kai grunts as a way of letting you know he heard you as he passes through the living room and goes straight for the hallway, smacking the top of the door frame with his hand as he does, a teasing way of reminding you that you couldn't reach it. You roll your eyes at the teenager, shuffling right behind him. 

The Hard Deck is busy tonight, you and Penny work behind the bar efficiently enough though, pouring IPA's off the tap and handing bottles of corona's and budweisers to the numerous aviators and civilians that littered the bar.

The music is loud, someone keeps repeating the same Tom Petty song on the stupid jukebox in the corner and you want to punch them for it, but the chatter of the folks is even louder. You're able to drown it out as you focus on a couple of regulars you hadn't see in a while, falling into easy conversation with them as you pour their drinks, catching up like You'd known them their whole lives. 

You're turning away from one such conversation to grab a couple of glasses for a couple that had just seated themselves near you when you hear his voice, the Texan accent thick when he calls you that damm name. "Hey Sugar," he says, catching your attention immediately. "can i get a whiskey neat and a couple more corona's please?" He asks, leaning against the backside of the bar. 

You take him in, he was plain clothed tonight, no ugly tan of his service khakis, and handsome as he was, you couldn't help but to be annoyed by his very presence, you weren't sure if it was because you were attracted to him (because you would have to be absolutely stupid not to be, Hangman was an absolutely beautiful man, and you weren't that hard of sight to not notice it) or if it was because guys like him got on your nerves..or a combination of both, and that goddamn accent didn't help.

You weren't overly fond of the cocky confident type, but good lord it did suit him. The man exuded confidence even in the way he leaned against your bar, casually enough to most people, but you could tell that there was something almost more to it. 

You nod in his direction, finishing what you were doing before pouring him a whiskey neat and grabbing the beers from the ice box. You hand them to him, and he knocks the whiskey back instantaneously, swallowing it as if it's water. You had to admit, it was kinda sexy. "Thanks, Sugar." He says, winking has he hands you back the glass. 

"My name is Y/N!" You say, watching as he turns to head back to his friends, who had grouped around the pool table. A couple of them turn their heads to watch your interaction, your loud voice catching their attention. 

"I know!" The man simply says over his shoulder, handing the beers to a woman, who takes it gratefully and the man next to him, who appeared to think that a pornstache was the look to go for. You roll your eyes, turning back to your work. 

After a few long hours, the counter starts to empty, and so does the bar itself, and one by one you start ringing up people's tabs, swiping their cards or paying with cash. Another hour or so passes and the man with the mustache and the dark haired woman are walking out together, hanging onto one another as they warble a song st the top of their lungs, completely out of tune. 

You chuckle, shaking your head at them before your attention is brought back to the counter as a credit card is slapped down onto it. "I'll pay my friends tabs too, Sugar.." He says, loving the way you go rigid at the name. He can practically feel your eyes roll before you turn to look at him. God, he thought, you've got a killer stare. 

"They're aviators too?" You ask, going to the register to do your job, you'd tallied about five or six rounds for him and his buddies, who seemed like they could drink any alcoholic under the table and still be able to fly a plane straight. 

"Sure are," He says, smirk cocking on his lips. "they're definitely nowhere near as good as me though, far as i know, none of them have two confirmed air kills." He doesn't even know why he's trying to smooth talk you right now, you aren't normally the type he goes for, but something about the way you look at him like he's about as annoying as a June bug gets his blood pumping. He's not used it that from pretty women. 

"That supposed to mean something to me?" You ask, sliding his card back to him, and a copy of the receipt for him to sign. He purses his lips, giving a quick signature. He hadn't ever missed with that line and it was quite obvious to you. 

"Guess not.." He says, pocketing his wallet, his ego only slightly bruised by your quick blow off. "Your brother looked like he got roughed up pretty good this morning..that an issue with him?"  He was genuinely curious, he could see the furious and frustrated look from across the gym floor and he knew it must've struck a nerve. The kid didn't offer much information about to him either when he asked. 

Your gaze turns hard immediately. "Respectfully, that's none of your business." You say, giving him a forced smile. "Have a nice night, Hangman."

 He tips his head at you and turns away from the bar, he knew a struck nerve when he saw one, and he already knew enough about you to know that he shouldn't try to push it with you, curious as he was. "You too, Sugar." He says, long legs striding him straight out the door before you can yell after him about how that isn't your name. 

You roll your eyes at him, going back to clearing glasses and wiping the beer nut crumbs off the bar. "Insufferable pilots, always have to get the last word." You grumble to yourself, unaware that Maverick had strode into the bar merely a moment after Hangman had left it, here to pick up Penny for the evening. 

"What's that about pilots now?" He asks, watching you with an amused smile lifting the corners of his mouth. You turn around, small smile gracing your lips. This was one pilot you could stand to be around. "Hey kiddo, busy tonight?"

You shrug, leaning over the counter to give the man a short hug, you loved the smell of his brown leather jacket. "Not too bad, made decent tips.. Penny's in the office, she'll be out soon." 

Mav takes a seat on one of the bar stools, helping you sweep off what bit of crumbs he could reach. "Hey, are you still looking for a roommate?" He asks, remembering hearing you complain to Penny about how you were barely making bills since you had kicked your last one out for giving your brother drugs. You quirk an eyebrow at him, stopping what you're doing. "His name is Jake, he's one of my aviators. He's clean, actually he's too clean if you ask me it's kind of creepy, and he's a pretty stand up dude. He has a cocky streak but he's good for his money and he doesn't make too much fuss."

You purse your lips, thinking on it. Why did the name Jake sound so familiar? It was tugging at something in the back of your brain that you just couldn't quite put your finger on. "What's wrong with where he's at now?" You ask as politely as possible, trying to gauge if he's been kicked out of his current place or something. 

"He's been on base for the last couple of months, he's not a student of the academy anymore but he's a permanent squadron member..he can live off base, he just hasn't found the right place..and we need the room he's in, we have a big class coming." Pete says, watching you think it over in your brain. 

As long as he's not as insufferable as Hangman, what do you really have to lose? You think to yourself, you can't afford to turn anyone away, not when they're capable of paying without breaking any laws, unlike Devon, your previous roommate. "Okay, well..ill meet him." You say, and Pete smiles triumphantly. "Bring him by the house tomorrow, after Kai goes to school, ill be home all morning." 

You spend the entirety of the next morning nervously cleaning and arranging your small house, your brother trying his best to stop you and calm you down, he knew better than anyone how you felt about strangers coming into the house. He offers to stay home from school, but you glare and tell him he better get on his way. Kai does as told, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he grabs a protein bar off of the kitchen bar type counter, swinging his school and duffle bag full of his baseball gear over his shoulder. 

God, you really hoped this worked out because you were dreading having to tell him that you couldn't afford to keep him in baseball if it didn't, you hated taking things away from your brother like that always so disappointed in yourself for not being able to provide for him the way that he needs or wants. Your father would be disappointed too you were sure, the man bad always made sure that his children had everything they ever asked for, no matter how hard he had to work to get it. You often found yourself wondering why you couldn't do the same as him, before you remembered that you lacked a highschool diploma, and had barely obtained a GED certificate. You had had to drop out of school when he got sick, he couldn't take care of everything himself like he used to, and Kai certainly wasn't old enough either at the time. 

"I'm doing my best daddy.." You sigh, looking at his picture up on the small fireplace mantel in your living room. "I just hope I'm doing it the right way.."

The doorbell rings and you jump, the noise cutting through the dim reverie of your life. "Coming!" You yell, doing a final sweep of the room before taming your wild hair in the mirror for a moment. 

"...she cooks too, you know.." You distinctly hear Mav's voice through the door as you unlock the deadbolt, taking a deep breath before pulling it open. 

Your eyes land on him immediately in all his tall, sun-kissed, cocky avjator glory. You'd be damned to hell if you said he didn't look good standing there in his green flightsuit, black t-shirt just barely poking through the gap in the collar. Your gaze trails downward, his helmet is attached at his waist, and you noticed his brow was awfully sweaty and smudged with a bit of dirt. They must have been doing flight runs this morning. "Him?" You glance at Mav, bewildered. "You?"  God, what gave him the right to smell so damn good when he was so clearly hot and sweaty and covered in..airplane grime. 

Jake takes you in, your jeans are up high on your waist, but loose fitting and they did look damn good on you from the front. Your top was cropped just enough to show the patch of skin between your tummy and bra that your breasts filled out entirely too well. When Mav had said that he was taking him to meet someone, a girl named Y/N, he hadn't even registered it as your name in his mind. In his mind you were simply - "..Sugar, fancy meeting you here."

Pete looks between the two of you, the ghost of annoyance littered on your face, the cocky smirk sliding its way onto Jake's.. "Hold on..you guys have met?" 

[kaeyapilled]

Hey! :D I saw your post regarding Kaveh and Alhaitham fics so I was wondering if you have any recommendations. Correct me if I'm wrong, I think you said they're better as a yuri couple? I haven't read any wlw portrayals of them yet and I'm curious. No tags are too wild. Thank you and have a nice day! <3

hello! yes i do have a few kavetham fanfic recs!! however i am so sorry to disappoint you anon but i dont have any fem kavetham recs. i dont think ive read a wlw portrayal of them either. my apologies. the yuri couple thing was more of a joke since I was complaining about the way some people write them in this overdramatic 2000s yaoi manga way that im not super fond of and that happens w a lot of other mlm ships too. do you get me. when they make one of them (usually alhaitham) into the Dominant Masculine Man who's the knight in shining armor while kaveh is, for lack of better term, the assigned submissive and breedable one. and the entire thing is so unserious but the author isnt joking at all. and so i was using yuri as like the antithesis of that. Yeah. i AM interested in actual yuri kavetham now though so you have kind of enlightened me here.

anyways i hope my regular kavetham fic recs are good enough </3

a comedy of errors by strawberryblimp:

“My dad’s always in a hurry to head home to see my mom. They’re a cute couple like that. Kind of embarrassing at times, though…” His intern makes a face. “Anyways, I’m sure it must be like that with you and your wife too. Alright, see you tomorrow Scribe Alhaitham! Or…the day after? Next week?”

"...my wife?"

Or, Alhaitham hopes to have an uneventful day of work, followed by a peaceful dinner with his roommate. Of course, nothing goes according to plan.

this one is just haikaveh romcom. it's short and sweet and SO funny it was such a delight to read!!

...and they were roommates by warsena:

Kaveh is looking for his keys. Al Haitham is a brat. And Nahida? Well, Nahida knows her things. In words of General Mahamatra: being roommates always meant somehing more interesting.

this one is also a short delight!! it's from nahida's pov and it's so funny to look at their relationship from the eyes of an outsider

The Romanticism of Coffee-Making by sonotfine:

Alhaitham, Kaveh, the drinks Kaveh made them every morning, and Alhaitham's very deep but totally normal feelings about this domestic privilege.

Love without a name, visible only in similes and metaphors, tangible and all-consuming in the ways they orbited each other. Action for action, thought for thought.

alhaitham pining for around 3k words. so sweet. the yearning is palpable. i really like the characterization for both of them

Briars and Roses 'Round Your Heart by sonotfine:

Two fools, the impasse, and the disease that punishes the unspoken thing between them. Love is as cruel as you choose to make it for yourself. Fortunately, it takes two to love, in this case.

i hope you like the hanahaki disease trope!! kaveh has it in this fic and it's one of my favorite renditions of it ever was SO good. i loved how it developed and how it was concluded. this author is really good at writing kaveh and alhaitham

sunbird by caniculeo:

This is how Kaveh grows up—well-loved and loving, with a pencil in his hand and starlight in his eyes. This is how he grows up, until his father leaves for the desert one day, and never comes back.

kaveh, through the years.

okay this one isn't exactly a kavetham rec, more like a kaveh one. but there is kavetham!! plenty of it!! i just wanted to sneak this one into the list because it's my favorite kaveh character study, like, ever. trust me it's so good

i hope these are to your liking anon! sorry again for the lack of yuri haikaveh. i have failed you

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Girl He Left Behind [Part Twenty Three]

Fandom: American Actor, RPF, Elvis Presley, Elvis Movie 2022

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Gladys Presley, Vernon Presley, Minnie May ‘Dodger’ Presley, Red West, Sonny West, Gene Smith, Billy Smith, Original Female Characters, Colonel Tom Parker, Billy Smith, Marci Cunningham, Steve Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Mary Jenkins, Alan Fortas, Marty Lacker, Original Male Characters, Mona Goodwin, Joe Goodwin

Word Count: 4530 // Rating: Mature

Summary: When Elvis returns home to Graceland from the Army he’s followed by the headlines ‘The Girl He Left Behind’ but what the media don’t know is that Priscilla wasn’t the first. No, that title belongs to someone Elvis will never forget.

Tags/ Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Poverty, Friends to Lovers, 1950s Elvis, Bad Parenting, Surprise Surprise the Colonel Is a Colossal Prick, Parental Loss, Grief, Fun Fairs, Kissing, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Movie Nights, Arguing, Tension, Denial of Feelings, Age Gap Romance, Underage, Addison is 17 Elvis is 22, Guilt, Betrayal, Extortion, Blackmail, Jealous, Army Elvis, American Draft, US Army, Lying, Time Shift with Elvis moving to Memphis, Flashbacks, Caught

Notes: This is the saddest Ive ever been writing something

LINK TO ALL PARTS // AO3 LINK // PINTEREST LINK

@girlblogger2002 @sania562 @caitlin1996​ @literally-just-elvis-fics @notstefaniepresley​ @artlesson8892 @18lkpeters​

Addison stared at herself in the mirror. She looked pretty she had to admit, and she loved the way the dress fell on her frame, it even matched the necklace Elvis had bought her perfectly, but there was one thing missing: a smile. With people around it was easier to plaster a smile on her face and act like she was enjoying the holiday but on her own it was harder to pretend. She didn’t even try and hide the sadness on her face as Elvis poked his head around the door his face one of awe as he clocked her.   ‘Wow you look beautiful,’ he said with a smile though it faded as she said nothing and looked back towards the mirror busying herself with tidying the makeup she had been using away. Elvis sighed. ‘I can tell everyone to go if you’re not in the mood,’ he said coming to stand behind her though he was afraid to reach out and touch her. Since he had told her about the draft they had been on a rollercoaster of emotions. They’d been through denial and anger. She’d even had a go at bargaining though she knew it was fruitless. Now she seemed to have given up, her sadness not budging no matter how hard he tried to keep things normal. ‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘Because it’s really not a big deal. Me and you can-’ ‘I said it’s fine,’ she said snappily though she winced as she heard how she sounded, ‘sorry, sorry.’ ‘It’s okay,’ Elvis said wrapping his arms around her and kissing her temple. ‘No it’s not,’ she said with a sniffle that made his heart ache, ‘none of this is okay Elvis.’ ‘I know,’ Elvis said sadly. She closed her eyes trying to force away the tears that were forming at seeing his heartbroken face watching her in the mirror. He closed his eyes burying his face in her hair as he tried to savour how it felt to hold her which was something he’d been doing more often the closer his deadline grew.   ‘It just feels more real don’t you think?’ she said after a moment. Her breath was shaky and quiet but it was enough to make him open his eyes. He didn’t say anything though, instead, he just waited for her to explain herself figuring whatever she was going to say had been weighing on her mind for a while, ‘I mean it’s not next year now. We’re gonna be in the same month. Twenty days. It just feels soon that’s all.’ ‘I know,’ he said, ‘I wish we had longer too.’ ‘I wish you didn’t have to go at all,’ she said quietly. ‘Me either,’ he said. She turned around to look at him then, her hazel eyes watching him sadly as she fixed his collar and straightened his tie. He leaned in to kiss her, capturing her lips gently with his. It wasn’t hot or steamy but it was chalked full of love, as if he was trying to pour two years’ worth of devotion into one moment.   When he pulled away they were both a little breathless but Addison didn’t let it phase her.   ‘Come on they won’t hold the ball drop forever you know,’ she said as she headed out of the bathroom. He was surprised how easily the mask she had used to use to protect herself could slip into place when needed. She hadn’t used it with him but as she geared herself up to head downstairs he watched as her sadness turned to a faux joviality with an absence of mirth behind her eyes. ‘Not even for little ol’ me?’ Elvis joked trying to get a genuine laugh out of her but she didn’t bite. ‘Not even for Elvis Presley,’ she said.   When they got downstairs Addison found that everyone was already there. Friends, family and the odd famous face filled every corner, laughing and joking as they buzzed from alcohol and the wonder of what was to come in the anticipated year ahead. As her foot hit the bottom step she stopped, slipping her hand out of his, making Elvis turn to look at her puzzled. Before he could ask her what was wrong however Billy appeared, breathless and with arms laden with fireworks.   ‘EP I’ve been wonderin’ where you’ve been man,’ he said, ‘firework war startin’ in 5 minutes.’ ‘Billy I don’t think-’ ‘He’ll be out in a minute,’ Addison said smiling softly at Billy. ‘Don’t be too long all the good ones will be gone,’ he said before he took off heading towards the back of the house. Elvis went to protest but she stepped down onto the floor away from him. ‘I think I’m gonna go find Mar,’ she said moving away from him. ‘Addie,’ he said going to reach for her but stopping as he noticed her pull away quickly her gaze going past him as she said, ‘you should mingle. It’s your party after all. It’ll look weird if you don’t.’   He followed her gaze to the huddle of people in the living room. For a moment he didn’t understand what had gotten her so tense but as a camera flash lit up the hallway Elvis got the memo. This wasn’t a family affair as Christmas had been. This wasn’t an evening he could enjoy without wondering who was watching him or what they were going to say if they saw them together. No, this was a PR stunt.   He should’ve known when the Colonel had suggested he throw a New Year’s Eve party that it wasn’t going to be some low-key affair and he should’ve realised that he’d find a way to spin it into good press. As he looked around he found the number of people he knew, people he actually liked, got no higher than a number of twenty and that was at a push. The rest was made up of record bigwigs and their wives or stars who would no doubt rehash their tale about their night to tabloids or whoever would listen. He had to admit as a snowman the Colonel excelled. Not many people could take a publicity nightmare and spin it on its head as fast as he could. But that meant that Elvis had to play his part too. He had to act as the honoured soldier, excited to be gearing up to head off to the service. It meant that he had to schmooze. To watch what he said or did should anyone start asking questions. It meant he had to stay away from Addison.   ‘Tell Mar I said hey,’ he said forcing a smile. She nodded and watched him head out to find Billy and the others on the back porch. After taking a moment to calm herself she headed into the living room manoeuvring around people unnoticed until she was in the music room. Jerry and Mar were cuddled up on an armchair in the corner their heads pressed together as they spoke in low giggled whispers that were interspersed by chaste kisses whilst a very irritated Steve perched on the arm of the couch beside them.   ‘Hey,’ she said as she pushed through the huddle of men standing by the piano. ‘I was wondering when you were going to show up!’ Marci said leaning up off Jerry who winced as she used him as a springboard, ‘oh my God that dress is amazing.’ ‘Thanks,’ Addison said, ‘yeah sorry I got a little tied up. You guys having fun?’ ‘Yeah these two have been a riot,’ Steve said sarcastically. ‘Just because you couldn’t get a date,’ Marci said, ‘besides Addie’s here now. You and Jer are free to talk about football all you like.’ ‘You hear that Jer you’ve got permission!’ Steve teased earning a swift kick in the shin from Jerry. ‘Actually, I think the guys are playing firework wars in the backyard,’ Addison said earning confused looks from the younger boys that quickly turned into excitement.   ‘Firework wars?’ Steve asked giddily. ‘Yeah, you get a bunch of fireworks and shoot them at one another, you know dumb boy stuff,’ Addison chuckled as their smiles widened. Steve leapt up, offering his half-drunken drink to Addison who took it with a roll of her eyes. Jerry tried to scramble off the chair too seemingly forgetting Marci was on his knee until she squealed at being thrust forward. ‘Jer!’ she chastised. ‘Sorry,’ Jerry said, ‘uh you don’t mind if…’ ‘Just go,’ Marci said standing up so Jerry could get to his feet. ‘Thanks babe,’ he said pressing a kiss onto her cheek before he and Steve took off disappearing into the throng of people and out of sight.   ‘Boys really are dumb,’ Marci said sitting back down into the chair Jerry had now vacated whilst Addison took Steve’s place. She took a swig of his drink too wincing as the taste of alcohol burned the back of her throat however she didn’t put it down. Instead, she took another sip hoping that the liquid would at some point in the night be able to replace the ache inside her with some form of buzz. ‘You’re saying you don’t want to go and shoot rockets at one another? Mar you surprise me,’ Addison chuckled. ‘I did not get myself dolled up to go run about in some mud and it’d be a crime to ruin yours,’ she said feeling the skirt of Addison’s dress in awe. ‘It’s nice huh,’ she replied though it was lacklustre. ‘Yeah, I’m surprised it’s not already on Elvis’ bedroom floor,’ Marci giggled. Addison’s face fell. Before Marci could speak Addison was up out of her seat and peeling through the living room at pace, Marci trying to keep up as she called her name. ‘Addie slow down!’ Marci said as Addison moved through the crowds of people into the hallway. Once the crowd had thinned her friend was able to catch up with her, grasping her elbow as she pulled her to a stop. ‘What the hell’s the matter with you?!’ she asked. ‘Not here,’ Addison said, her mouth quivering as she tried to suppress tears that were daring to breach her lash line though Marci didn’t see that as she turned away from her and headed towards her own room. Once safely in her room, Addison dropped to the floor hugging her knees to her chest in an attempt to hold herself together. Marci shut the door and came to sit beside her watching her friend with confusion. ‘I’m sorry if I upset you with the dress comment,’ Marci said unsure of what had caused her friend so much irritation. ‘It’s not you,’ Addison said quietly. That much was true. The joke itself hadn’t bothered her but the normalcy of which Marci spoke about her and Elvis had. Because that wasn’t going to be their norm anymore. It wasn’t going to be like that again for a long time. ‘Then what’s going on? I mean I know it hasn’t been easy lately, gosh I had to beg my dad to even let me come tonight after what happened at the Russwood Park show, but from what you said the other day I thought things were okay,’ Marci said. ‘They were,’ Addison said, ‘and then they weren’t.’ ‘What happened?’ ‘Elvis is being drafted.’ Her words hung in the air as Marci’s mouth fell open as she tried to process the news and failed. ‘Drafted? Like drafted drafted? Like united states army drafted?’ she asked agog. ‘Yes Mar,’ Addison said rolling her tongue between her teeth exasperatedly, ‘like united states army drafted. Like two years away drafted. Like moving to Germany  drafted .’ ‘When? How? I mean doesn’t he get like special treatment or something?’ Marci said, ‘this is ridiculous. They can’t expect him to go away for two damn years!’ ‘Believe me, they can,’ Addison said bitterly. ‘I don’t understand,’ Marci said flopping back against the bed next to her friend. ‘Trust me you’re not the only one trying to wrap their head around it,’ Addison said. Neither of them spoke for a minute. Marci was still in shock trying to get the news to sink in all the while trying to scramble for something to say to her friend. Her friend who had already had her life shattered more times than she could count. Addison didn’t blame her. After all, she hadn’t exactly come to terms with it so easily when Elvis had told her.

‘Good night you two,’ Vernon said as he headed towards the door, ‘try not to be too loud in here your mama needs her rest.’ ‘Of course not, night Daddy,’ Elvis said ignoring the pang of guilt that run through him at the mention of his mother. ‘Yeah, night Vernon,’ Addison said watching as he left the living room, flipping the light switch as he went which should have left the pair of them in darkness though the roar of the fire, the twinkle of the Christmas tree lights and the glare of the TV was enough to keep the room almost fully lit. When she turned she found Elvis watching her dolefully.   ‘What?’ she asked. ‘Nuthin’,’ he said allowing her to take his hand in hers. ‘You wanna go to bed?’ she asked dropping her gaze to where she was now tracing small patterns on his skin. ‘Nah,’ he said, ‘I’m good here.’ ‘I thought you said if you ever said no to that offer I was to take that pistol out of your nightstand and shoot you because you’ve obviously gone crazy,’ she said looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. ‘Well it’s Christmas,’ he chuckled, ‘the exception to the rule.’ ‘Is that so,’ she smirked. They stayed quiet for a moment just the crackle of the fire and the low murmur of the television making noise.   ‘Did you have a nice day?’ Elvis said after a moment. ‘Yeah it was nice,’ Addison said. ‘Santa bring you everything you wanted huh?’ he ribbed though Addison’s smile didn’t match his. ‘Not everything,’ she said. ‘Oh yeah?’ ‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘there’s still something I want.’ ‘Oh this I gotta know,’ Elvis said leaning forward with anticipation. ‘You really want to know what I want?’ Addison said chewing on her lip. She watched as his brows knitted together as he tried to put together what on earth she could mean. After all it wasn’t as if he hadn’t gone above and beyond in the present department despite her protests. She wasn’t even sure she’d be able to fit everything he had bought her into her room. ‘Please enlighten me,’ Elvis said.   ‘I want you to tell me whatever it is you’ve been hiding from me,’ she said making Elvis’ smile disappear immediately which only confirmed her fears. As he went to protest she shook her head, ‘and don’t tell me it’s nothing. I don’t need protecting. I just need to know the truth, Elvis.’ ‘Addie,’ he said sadly. ‘It’s bad, isn’t it? I knew it,’ she whispered sighing as his face fell, ‘I could tell from the way you and your daddy clam up whenever I walk into a room. The way your mama hasn’t stopped fretting over every little thing you do. The fact you can’t stop looking at me like it’s the last time we’re ever going to see each other like you’re doing right now.’ ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I wanted to tell you…I just…I wanted to have Christmas you know? Just one day we could enjoy and think about before-’ ‘Everything’s ruined?’ she asked. Elvis nodded. She heaved a heavy sigh as she tried to form some semblance of coherence in her brain from the questions that were swirling around in it.   ‘Is it to do with Russwood Park?’ she asked. ‘Partly,’ Elvis said. ‘I thought you said the Colonel fixed it,’ she said recalling the evening after when he had assured her that the Colonel had managed to pull some strings with the police department to get things smoothed over. ‘He did, well, he managed to fix the police thing but that’s not the problem,’ he said. ‘What is?’ she asked. ‘Addie I fucked up. I didn’t listen and now the damage is too far gone,’ he said. ‘But it can be fixed right? I mean whatever it is we can fix it,’ she said grasping for any scrap of hope she could. ‘Addie I’m being drafted,’ he said flatly making her fall silent.   Drafted. The words bounced around in her brain refusing to land because if they landed it would mean they were real.   ‘I don’t understand,’ she said after a moment trying to ignore the way her heart was squeezed so tight in her chest she could barely breathe. ‘That’s the fix,’ he said a current of bitterness running through his tone He watched confusion befall her face making him continue as he tried to explain, ‘it’s a way to change my image. Turn me from rabble-rouser into all-American boy or whatever.’ ‘How is flying off to another damn country going to help this!’ she said. ‘It’s not like I have much of a choice Addie,’ he said loudly sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration as he realised he was nearly shouting, ‘I’m sorry. Baby if I could do this any other way I would but I’m over a barrel here. We both know it. And if this is the thing that lets us be together-’ ‘But we’re not going to be together Elvis!’ ‘It’s not forever,’ Elvis said holding her small hands in his as he rested his forehead against hers, ‘and if that’s what it takes so that we can be together I’ll do it.’   She closed her eyes hoping he wouldn’t be able to see the tears that were threatening to breach her lash line but she could feel him watching her closely.                                                                 ‘How long?’ she asked shakily. ‘Two years,’ he said, ‘but it’ll be over in no time, hell you could even go to school or something I mean from the way you figured out something was going on there’s no arguing you’re as smart as a whip.’ ‘Nah, I just know you too well,’ she laughed sadly. ‘Still,’ he whispered pulling back so he could wipe an errant tear off her cheek. ‘Two years huh?’ she said quietly. ‘It’ll be over before you know it,’ he promised.

Marci didn’t know how long they’d been sitting in silence and though she figured it would probably be better to break it and pull her friend out of whatever thoughts she was having she didn’t know what to say. Addison seemed to sense her apprehension as she sighed.

‘I was going to tell you,’ she said as if she needed to explain, ‘but-’ ‘You don’t have to explain yourself,’ Marci said placing a hand on Addison’s velvet-covered knee, ‘are you okay?’ ‘No,’ Addison said honestly. It was easier to be herself with Marci. Not as easy as it was with Elvis but still, easier. ‘When did you find out?’ ‘Christmas,’ she said. ‘What a lousy present that was,’ Marci said. ‘You’re telling me,’ Addison said wistfully. ‘At least you’re not the only one bummed out anymore,’ Marci said nudging her, ‘always nice to share grim news with friends huh?’ ‘What do you think this party is for?’ Addison said explaining as Marci looked confused, ‘the Colonel arranged it. Thinks a party is the best way to break the news. Leave everyone on a high about him going.’ ‘When is he going?’ Marci asked. ‘Twentieth of January,’ Addison said, ‘feels like forever and tomorrow all at once.’ ‘At least you’ve got a little bit of time,’ Marci said. ‘Yeah, I guess,’ Addison said.

The two fell silent again but this time Marci moved to sit close beside her friend, interlocking her arm in hers as she lay her head on Addison’s shoulder. It wasn’t a full hug but it was comforting all the same. They were still in the same position when Jerry found them.

He came bursting in, the door hitting the wall with a thump as he opened it with too much force though Addison didn’t know if that was from giddiness or alcohol. He looked almost blue in the low lighting though there was still an icy pink tinge to his ears and the tip of his nose from the frost outside.

‘There you two are! I’ve been looking all over for you!’ he said though his smile faded as he noted the girl’s sombre expressions, ‘what’s going on?’ ‘Nothing,’ Marci said pulling away from Addison as she stood up. Addison climbed up too though she loitered awkwardly as she kept her gaze away from Jerry’s curious one. Marci however threw herself in front of her friend, determined not to let him give her the third degree, and asked, ‘why’ve you been looking for us?’ ‘What? Oh, apparently E’s making a speech or something,’ he said, ‘he wants both of you there.’ ‘We’ll be a minute,’ Marci said, ‘fix us a drink okay?’ ‘But-’ Jerry protested as Marci pushed him out of the room. ‘Two ticks!’ she said before she shut the door in her boyfriend’s face and turned to look at her friend.

‘You didn’t need to do that,’ Addison mumbled. ‘I know,’ Marci said grabbing a tissue off her friend’s bedside table and dabbing her under-eyes with it before she moved a couple of hairs off her face, ‘but that’s what friends are for right? C’mon.’

Addison nodded and allowed her friend to slip her arm into hers once more as the pair made their way to the front of the house though as they got to the hallway they realised they were already too late. Elvis was standing on the stairs, the Colonel by his side as everyone crammed themselves around the fringes of the living and dining room to listen in. Jerry appeared from the kitchen a couple of seconds later, the glasses in his hands clinking noisily which caused a few disapproving stares to fall their way. Addison shrunk back towards the wall, allowing Marci and Jerry to shield her from view. From where she was standing she couldn’t really see Elvis. His back was to her which she thanked god for, fearing that if he were to look at her she’d break into a million pieces. ‘…he would like to thank you all for the support you have all given him over the past few years. Lord knows without it the prospect of leaving his life behind for the next two years wouldn’t seem doable if he didn’t know he had such a firm and stable support system waiting for him when he comes home,’ the Colonel said.

‘Two years?’ Jerry whispered earning himself a dig in the ribs from Marci. ‘I’m sure he is just as grateful for all of you as we are for him,’ the Colonel said, ‘so let us raise a glass and make a toast to our nation and its newest protector. To Elvis.’ ‘To Elvis,’ the crowd parroted as they raised their glasses in the air. Addison didn’t follow. ‘And Happy New Year,’ Elvis said raising a toast himself before he tipped the glass of champagne down his throat in one long glug.

As the Colonel wrapped his arm around Elvis and herded him downstairs and into the pit of vultures waiting to encircle him with their congratulations Addison moved toward him. Neither Marci nor Jerry noticed as she slipped past them and went to stand near the banister rail. She wanted to speak to him but there was no way. He was trapped.  

‘My dad was a marine. He could’ve gone down a different path, if he had I wouldn’t be here today, it really was the making of him,’ she heard some RCA Victor executive say as he stood beside Elvis. ‘I thought I’d already made something of myself,’ Elvis said bitterly. Addison watched the Colonel’s grip tighten on his shoulder. ‘Well I’m sure there’s still plenty the army can do with a boy like yourself,’ the Colonel said. ‘He’s right,’ the executive said though whatever else he had to say was cut short as Billy came in the front door capturing everyone’s attention. ‘Alright listen up!’ he said, ‘the balls about to drop and we’ve got a firework show locked and loaded so everyone in the backyard now!’

There was a grumble of annoyance from those who didn’t want to traipse into the cold alongside a buzz of excitement as those who had gotten a little merry anticipating the countdown to the new year. As people filtered past her Addison shrunk back to the wall allowing the flow of the crowd to move past her hoping she would be able to catch Elvis in the wave but when she looked around he was nowhere to be seen. Fearing she must have missed him she started to follow the crowd outside. The air was cold out and though her dress was thick without her coat she started to shiver. Not to mention amongst the sea of people she couldn’t locate Elvis or Marci. As everyone filtered out into a rough semicircle Addison remained on the steps straining to see through the darkness where her friends were.

She looked at the figures in the distance only able to make out Red, Billy and Alan as they huddled around a couple dozen boxes of fireworks but as the crowd started counting down she felt a hand slip into hers. When she turned around she expected to see Elvis but it was Sonny instead and before she could say anything he yanked her back through the open back door not stopping as he hurtled into the house.

‘Son what are you doing!?’ she asked as he dragged her through the house behind him until they were in the kitchen. Elvis was leaning against the kitchen counter but he stood up properly as she came in a smile on his face. Before she could say anything he was in front of her, wrapping his arms around her, as the door swung shut signalling Sonny had left or was more than likely standing guard on the other side.

‘Now I figure I’ve got about oh, say, fifteen seconds before people start to realise I’m missing,’ he said leaning down until their faces were inches apart. ‘A lot you can do in fifteen seconds,’ she whispered. ‘I agree,’ he murmured before he leaned in and kissed her. She wrapped her around his neck, her fingers knotting in his hair as he deepened the kiss, pulling her in until she was flush up against him. It had been all he had wanted to do all night. All he ever wanted to do.

Yet time wasn’t on their side as the singing of auld lang syne started to die down and the pop and whizzes of fireworks got less and less ‘oohs and ahs’ they pulled apart knowing that sooner or later people would start filtering back into the house to escape the cold.

‘Happy New Year honey,’ Elvis said stroking her cheek tenderly. ‘Happy New Year,’ Addison replied.

[fukashiin]

rating my mutuals!

i dont have too many but it'd still be fun to rate you guys as a small bday gift from me in return for the interactions and moments I've made with you up until now <33 (if you arent here then i was too shy to mention you but i love your works tremendously!!)

@jeidoleech ⤷ KHOI !

1000/10

my first ever twst mutual on tumblr actually. you dont understand i squealed like SQUEALED when you followed me back and tagged me in your mutuals list?? i was over the moon <33 your writing style is adorable and it really butters my biscuits AND I WAS OBSESSED WITH YOUR BABY BLUE THEME WHEN I FIRST FOLLOWED YOU GOODBYE. so thank you?? for following me like?? SO much??? you were apart of the reasons why i wanted to continue writing for this fandom <3333 i cant keep up with you altering between jade and Floyd im gnna be completely honest OKAY.

@mifyu ⤷ MIFFY !

youre adorable/10

some of the sweetest people I've ever met hello??? and your themes just??? top it off???? i was super shy to ask if you wanted to become mutuals but ohmygod i wasnt expecting you to be the ballsy one. thank you for becoming mutuals with me your works are just the prettiest and im looking forward to more!! i bet if we had a competition to see who could say 'ily more' you'd win by a mile.

@iuuru ⤷ MILLIE

我愛你你你你/10

HELLO IM SO GLAD I REACHEDJ OUT TO YOU WHAT. you match my energy so well and i love that abt you??? MY CHINESE SPEAKIMG COMPANION???? the moment i clicked on your blog i just KNWEW i had to become your moot you just seemed so fun and lovable AND YOU ARE. i was able to improve my chi vocab by a little bit because of you and im genuinely so grateful?? MY FAV LEONA KISSER YOUR WORKS AND IMAGINATION IS LITERALLY IMPECCABLE ILYSM I HOPE TO SPEAK IN CHI WITH YOU SM MORE AND CRASH THE TAG LIMIT BY FAWNING OVER YOUR WORKS

@tinyletterz ⤷ REMY !

stop being so gorgeous???/10

i could use up all the synonyms for beautiful in all the languages i know and it still wouldn't be enough. your works are the prettiest???hello??? whyre they so soft and fuzzy??? u deserve all the cupcakes and cats in the world ill literally take you to the cat island. youre personality is so lovely i literally go through the whole water cycle whenever you answer my ask??? so thank you for being my mutual<33 ALSO WHAT SHOULD WE NAME OUR CAT CAFE??

newer mutuals who i'd love to know better!

your guys' personalities are amazingf and itms such an honour to be your mutual KISSES

@siphoklansan ⤷ SIPHOK !

YOUREAMAZINGATARTSTOP/10

your works. your animations. who allowed you to be that talented??? ill always remember the time you said i was lively and fun even before we became mutuals! that made my day!! youre literally some of the nicest people ive met on this app so never give up on your passion for art IM LITERKALLY GOBBLING THEJM ALL UP <3

@twistedchatterbox ⤷ NOIR !

9038839/10

i cnat believe your first interaction with me was digging up my thirst post for idia STOP. IM A CHANGED PERSON. but ohmygod youre so good at art too?? can you stop being so talented with both writing AND drawing???? but regardless im so happy to be your mutual you seem so hardworking with every work you post and i appreciate that sm?? AND I LOVE YOUR OC. SHES BEAUTIFUL;

@cupids-chamber ⤷ CUPID !

i relate to you an eerie amount/10

i couldve sworn i started hyperventilating the moment i saw you follow me????? you may not think that your crack fics are funny BUT THEY REALLY ARE??? at the same time your normal ones make me SQUEAL AND KICK MY FEET IN THE AIR IM SO TEMPTED TO GET RUN OVER BY AN ACTIVE SPEEDING BUS. and congrats on 4.35k!! i hope we interact a lot more <33

⤷ FOLLOWERS !

♾/10

FROM DECEMBER UNTIL NOW IM SO SO GRATEFUL FOR THE NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS I CURRENTLY JHAVE??? YOU GUYS READ MY WORKS AND LIKED/REBLOGGED AND ITS LITERALLY SO MUCH MORE I COULD EVER ASK FOR??????? SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT YOURE ALL SUPER IMPORTANT AND DEAR TO ME I LOVE YOU ALL SMM<333

[adelaidedrubman]

INTERVIEW WITH THE DEPUTY

i was tagged by my beloveds @socially-awkward-skeleton and @direwombat to do this oc interview, also following their brilliant format of styling it as an interview with wheaty!! sending tags out to @florbelles @henbased @unholymilf @belorage @noetikat @heroofpenamstan @marivenah @ishwaris @derelictheretic @strangefable @roofgeese @confidentandgood @echo3-1 @jackiesarch @purplehairsecretlair @strafethesesinners and anyone else can @ me!

wrote this as taking place vaguely in the time frame of wildfire chapter 16, and since it’s jestiny answering obviously it cannot be considered an accurate source of lore.

“Alright, we’ll be live and on the air in ten,” Wheaty said with a wide smile, nodding towards the microphone in front of Jestiny. “Nine… eight…”

“Wait,” Jessie hissed under her breath, throwing a hand over the mic to produce a screech of feedback harsh enough to cause Wheaty to throw his headphones off. “Before we get started, just, uh — Just curious, what’s the broadcast range on this?” She motioned a thumb towards the audio equipment. “Like, is this a Whitetails exclusive, or are folks outside the uh, general area gonna get to hear it?”

“It only reaches the Whitetails,” Wheaty answered, pulling the microphone away from her.

“Any way we could change that? Like, is there a jammer I can blow up real quick?”

“What?” He questioned, replacing his headphones. “No, I — why?”

“I mean, if this is supposed to boost morale for the resistance, shouldn’t we be trying to boost it for the entire resistance?” she asked, ignoring the long beep and flashing light to her side. “Like, we should also be talking to folks, in say, the Henbane? ...The Val —”

“Dep, we’re live now.”

“Right! It’s showtime, folks!”

“Well all you Whitetails, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, here’s your cue to get excited — because today I have the chance to sit down with the infamous Deputy Rook. Thanks for chatting with us, Rook.”

“My pleasure. Good practice for when all those cult bastards are rotting in jail, and I’m doing press as America’s sweetheart.”

“That’s — the spirit, I guess. So surely everyone with a working radio has heard about your exploits, but let’s learn more about the woman behind the badge…”

Name?

JESTINY: Deputy Rook.

WHEATY: [Laughs.] Good one, Dep. Full name?

JESTINY: I just go by Rook.

WHEATY: You… don’t have a first name?

JESTINY: People ’round here just call me Rook.

WHEATY: …C’mon, there’s no one around you’re on a first name basis with?

JESTINY: Jesus fucking Christ, Wheaty, this is not good radio. Next question.

WHEATY: Alright. Deputy Rook. Woman of mystery.

Are you single?

JESTINY: Extremely single. Extremely available.

WHEATY: That’s loud and clear! And what’s your type, so the listeners know if that’s a sign to shoot their shot?

JESTINY: Nice, normal folks.

WHEATY: …Okay, word out to anyone, uh — nice and normal!

JESTINY: Yes.

Are you happy?

JESTINY: [Laughs.] I won’t lie to you, Wheaty. Shit’s been better. But I try to keep a positive attitude.

WHEATY: Seems like it.

Are you angry?

JESTINY: [Long pause. Throat clearing.] I have lost my temper a bit on occasion before.

WHEATY: Over what?

JESTINY: For fuck’s sake Wheaty, is this supposed to be a fluff piece or an interrogation? The fuck are you grilling me for? I feel like I might as well be in — [Short pause. Cough.] Can we move on?

WHEATY: Yeah. I think you answered the question.

Are your parents still married?

JESTINY: ’Til death do they part, I guess.

WHEATY: That’s sweet!

JESTINY: It really fuckin’ isn’t.

WHEATY: Okay, then.

Birth place?

JESTINY: Kentucky.

Hair color?

JESTINY: Ha, I think everyone knows that one already.

WHEATY: For anyone who might have missed it.

JESTINY: [Scoffs.] Sure, fine. Flaming locks of auburn hair. [Vague rustling in background.] Say, do you have any Dolly in here?

WHEATY: Please don’t touch my vinyls.

Eye color?

JESTINY: And eyes of emerald green... Okay, fine, light brown. But I do have ivory —

Birthday?

JESTINY: April 13, 1990. Born on a Friday the thirteenth.

WHEATY: Huh.

Mood?

JESTINY: Fine.

WHEATY: …Anything more to that?

JESTINY: I’m fine.

WHEATY: Okay. Fine.

Gender?

JESTINY: Gal.

Summer or winter?

JESTINY: Around here, summer. Snow’s pretty and all, but too fucking cold to camp out in it.

WHEATY: [Tone lightening.] So you like camping?

JESTINY: I said cool it with the fuckin’ third degree, Wheaty.

WHEATY: [Tone falling.] Right.

Morning or afternoon?

JESTINY: Afternoon.

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love?

JESTINY: God fucking no, I — [Pause. Cough. Short laugh.] Only with my job, and the joy of helpin’ people.

Who ended your last relationship?

JESTINY: I, uh — I don’t know if I’ve had many of what could be considered ‘relationships’ in the traditional sense, so… I’ve made a few big moves in my time, that’s… broken some things off.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

JESTINY: Aw, c’mon. Do I look like someone who could do that?

WHEATY: The listeners can’t see you, Dep.

JESTINY: Well, then, next question.

Are you afraid of commitments?

JESTINY: Afraid isn’t the right word, ’course I’m not fucking scared. But I like to not be tied down.

Have you hugged someone within the last week?

JESTINY: Huh. I’ve been hugged by lots of people, lately. It’s — [Pause.] So nice. You know me. Woman of the people.

WHEATY: Self-described.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

JESTINY: I don’t fuckin’ know. Frankly, that’s none of my business. Or your —

WHEATY: I’m guessing ‘next question?’

JESTINY: You’ve got a real fucking future in journalism, kid. Good instincts.

Have you ever broken your own heart?

JESTINY: What the fuck does that mean?

WHEATY: You know, Rook. Like have you ever caused yourself heartbreak? Hurt your own feelings, or —

JESTINY: I’m fine.

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust?

JESTINY: C’mon, Wheaty — you’re gonna make me sound not very ‘America’s sweetheart’ with this one. [Particularly forced-sounding laughter.] [Long pause.] [Flatter tone.] But, lust. Definitely just lust.

Lemonade or iced tea?

JESTINY: Finally, some real fucking questions around here! Iced tea, but only the sweet kind.

Cats or dogs?

JESTINY: Cats, I guess. I like both, but the following you around shit can be… Cats are independent. It’s nice.

A few best friends or many regular friends?

JESTINY: Hey, they’re called best friends for a reason. But love ’em all, of course.

Wild night out or romantic night in?

JESTINY: Hm, definitely wild night out — but usually ‘wild’ in the ‘wilderness’ sense.

Day or night?

JESTINY: Night.

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out?

JESTINY: Did you miss when I said my birth year? I’m a grown ass woman. [Mocking falsetto.] Sneaking out.

WHEATY: When you were a kid, then. What kind of childhood did the great Deputy Rook have?

JESTINY: Fine.

WHEATY: [Perking up.] Fine? You’ll talk about it?

JESTINY: I’m saying my childhood was fine. Normal childhood.

WHEATY: Of course…

Fallen down/up the stairs?

JESTINY: Uh, would it really boost morale for everyone to hear about their hero falling down the stairs? I’m very coordinated. Don’t fall on my ass that often.

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

JESTINY: No.

Wanted to disappear?

JESTINY: Yeah, the uh — bright red hair and general notoriety makes that difficult.

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Smile or eyes?

JESTINY: Let’s say smile.

Shorter or taller?

JESTINY: Definitely prefer shorter, but taller isn’t a dealbreaker. As long as I can still lift them.

Intelligence or attraction?

JESTINY: Depends on what we’re talkin’. Short term or long term? I mean I — [Short laugh.] I certainly don’t wanna fuckin’ accuse anyone I’ve been with in some sense of the word of necessarily being fucking intelligent.

WHEATY: [Laugh. Rustling noise.] Are you afraid you’ll hurt a listener’s feelings?

JESTINY: Of course fucking not, I — Next fucking question.

Hook-up or relationship?

JESTINY: Hook-up, at my current stage in life.

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along?

JESTINY: I don’t get to see any of them, that often.

WHEATY: Well, let’s say when did. How was your relationship with your family?

[Pause.]

WHEATY: [Sighs.] Let me guess, it was f —

JESTINY: Fine.

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?

JESTINY: Whole fuckin’ county has a messed up life right now.

WHEATY: I want to talk about you, though.

JESTINY: A perfectly average level of messed up. Can’t complain.

Have you ever run away from home?

JESTINY: Not seriously.

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

JESTINY: Nope.

=FRIENDS=

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

JESTINY: Yes, but I won’t say who. Keep people on their toes.

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?

JESTINY: Yeah, sure.

Who is your best friend?

JESTINY: Oh, that’s hard to pick, uh — Adelaide and I have fun together, and I’d say Mary May and I got pretty close there. Back when — back when I was spending a lot of time in Holland Valley. But, y’know — I’m not, anymore. [Pause.] But Mary May, if you’re listening, I — still consider us good friends.

WHEATY: [Whispering.] I told you, this is only broadcasting in the Whitetails.

JESTINY: [Whispering loudly.] Well people still might pass the fucking message along, right?

Who knows everything about you?

JESTINY: Ha. Nobody but me and god, and I don’t believe in god.

WHEATY: Then who knows the most about you?

JESTINY: [Short pause.] Around here?

WHEATY: Sure.

JESTINY: [Extremely long pause.] Mary May.

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 In Darkness I Found You 🔞

Chapter 6

Tags: Vomit, needles, smut, mating

Whoever named morning sickness clearly had never been pregnant, Yoongi thought bitterly as he threw up what was left of his dinner. He’d been throwing up since about 5 o’clock in the morning. He couldn’t keep anything down. He was starting to get the shakes.

“Hon, can I do anything?” Hobi tapped on the bathroom door. Yoongi flushed the toilet and went to stand up, but got too dizzy and had to sit back down.

“Come help me up,” he said. Hobi opened the door and simply picked up Yoongi. Yoongi forgot that Alpha strength could be a good thing. Hobi put him in the bed and got a trash can.

“I think I’m done. If I don’t eat anything else,” Yoongi said.

“Water?” Hobi suggested.

“I dunno,” Yoongi sighed.

“Try it?” Hobi said, handing him a glass. Yoongi drank some and it came back up almost immediately. He lied back into the pillows.

“Is this normal for you?” Hobi asked.

“Sucky pregnancies? Yeah,” he replied. “If I’m not puking my guts up, then I’ve got kickers. I’ve only ever had 1 pup once before. That was my first. I had a litter when I was 19. After that, it was twins every time. Now I have a high risk runt.”

“Yoongi, how old were you?” Hobi ventured.

“When I had my first? I was 17. Then I had the litter when I was 19. That was 3. Officially a litter is 3 or more. Then twins when I was 21 and 23. Now here I am,” he gestured to his belly. Hobi was speechless. They’d bred him every chance they got. Or whored him out. His beautiful, kind, loving mate. Hobi put his hand on Yoongi’s forehead to brush back his hair.

“Honey are you sure this is pregnancy related? You’re burning up,” he observed.

“I feel a little dizzy, but I figured that was from throwing up,” Yoongi said.

“Let me go get Tae,” Hobi said.

“Okay,” Yoongi agreed.

“You’re not gonna like this at all,” Tae said when he came into the room with Hobi in tow.

“What?” Yoongi rolled his head over to look at him.

“There’s a stomach bug going around and you must have caught it somehow,” Tae said.

“That’s not so horrible,” Yoongi said.

“Well, I’m concerned about the pup. You’re over 5 months now so it shouldn’t be an issue, but I just want to give it a check. You’re also going to need to be on IV fluids since you can’t keep anything down and you need to stay hydrated,” Tae finished. Hobi was already sitting with him and grooming him.

“No, please don’t. I can keep it down,” Yoongi begged.

“It’s not really a choice. Let me examine the pup first. Hobi, I’m going to have to put my hand in your mate’s personal space,” Tae said. “Do you remember what I did the first night, Yoongi?” He shook his head.

“I’m going to have to put my hand inside you to check. Trust me, I won’t derive any pleasure from this. I’ll make it as quick as possible,” Tae told him. He put on gloves. “When you’re ready.”

“I’m right here. I’ll hit him if he gets too handsy with you,” Hobi said as he helped Yoongi out of his pants and pulled up his shirt. “For our miracle pup.”

“Okay, do it,” Yoongi breathed. Tae started examining him.

“Come on, pup. Where’d you go, little one?” he said. “Say hi to Uncle Tae and your daddies.” Hobi knew his brother well enough to know that he was worried. The last thing he wanted to tell Yoongi was this pup was a stillborn. Hobi wasn’t sure he could take it either and it wasn’t even his pup.

Then the pup kicked.

“There you are,” Tae grinned. He took his hand out and took off his gloves. “I think the little one is fine. You still need fluids, though.”

Yoongi curled in on Hobi.

“I’ll let you pull yourself together first,” Tae said and got up.

“We got an IV when we were giving birth. It was supposed to be pain medication. It only took the edge off. When I had the litter, I almost passed out from the pain even though I was supposed to be getting pain medication,” Yoongi held out his right arm. Tae had mentioned needle marks the first night, but Hobi hadn’t looked beyond that. He looked more closely at Yoongi’s arm. There were a cluster of old needle marks inside his right elbow.

“This is just fluids to keep you hydrated while you’re sick. You both need to stay hydrated,” Hobi said. “Tae can even put it in your other arm. He’s very good with needles. You won’t even feel it.”

“How do you know?” Yoongi asked.

“Who do you think he practiced on in nursing school? I looked like a heroin addict for a year while he was learning. He’s perfect now, though. I made sure of that,” Hobi told him.

“Okay,” Yoongi said quietly.

“That’s my brave mate. I’m so proud of you. You’ll feel a lot better after, I promise,” Hobi said. He kissed the side of Yoongi’s head since he was still curled up in a ball around his belly in Hobi’s lap. He leaned over & texted Tae. Normally he would’ve yelled, but they’d stopped that practice when Yoongi came in. He was still jumpy when Alphas yelled even if it was just to get the other’s attention.

“I’ve got 2 more bags in the fridge. It’ll make you cold, but I know Hobi’s fat ass can help keep you warm,” Tae said.

“Excuse you,” Hobi said. Tae laughed.

“Just a little tiny pinch,” Tae said as Yoongi held out his left arm. “Done. Let me tape it down.”

“Done?” Yoongi looked up at Tae.

“What?” Tae asked.

“I didn’t feel anything,” Yoongi said. He looked at his arm and the IV was in. Tae had hung the bag off the post of the headboard.

“Told you,” Hobi rubbed his upper arm. He covered Yoongi with a blanket before he started to get cold.

“I almost feel bad I’m the first one who got to feel the pup kick,” Tae said.

“Not the first time I’ve felt a pup kick,” Yoongi looked up at him.

“No, but this is my niece or nephew and its Alpha daddy didn’t get to feel it first,” Tae said. Hobi smiled at him.

“I’ll let you have it, but only because you were making sure the heir to the Min-Jung throne is healthy,” he said.

“And you’re yourself again,” Tae rolled his eyes. “Feel better, Yoongi.”

“Thank you, Tae,” Yoongi smiled a little.

“Anytime, though I hope the next time my hand is up there, it’s pulling a full term healthy pup out,” he replied.

“Me too,” Yoongi agreed.

“Oh and Yoongi…?” Tae stopped by the door.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Once you get over this bug, don’t make the house smell too much like sex,” Tae grinned.

“Seriously?” Hobi said.

“Yes. If it’s healthy enough to kick, then you should be fine. Not too rough, though,” he said.

“We’re gonna stink up the house,” Hobi said.

“I’ll get some air fresheners,” Tae said. “Good night.”

“Good night, Tae,” they replied.

“If I didn’t feel like shit and was on an IV, I’d have you knot me right now,” Yoongi uncurled a little & looked up at Hobi.

“I have absolute faith in that,” Hobi ran his hand through Yoongi’s hair. “Soon.”

A week later, Yoongi had recovered from the bug and managed to keep everything down. As they were getting ready for bed, the pup kicked. Yoongi took Hobi’s hand and put it on his belly.

“Come on, pup. Say hi to Alpha daddy,” he said. After a few seconds, he felt something move.

“Is that it?” Hobi asked.

“Not its best work, but yes,” Yoongi smiled. “So now you’ve felt your pup for the first time.”

“I have,” Hobi kissed him. Yoongi deepened the kiss and Hobi smelled slick. “Already?”

“We’re already naked,” Yoongi said.

“We are,” Hobi agreed.

“And I feel better,” Yoongi continued.

“Very good,” Hobi said.

“And you need to mark me. Make it official,” Yoongi kissed him more.

“There’s a little obstacle in the way,” Hobi rubbed the bump.

“I can do it the normal way,” Yoongi told him. The older he got, the more they had to force him to present. If they didn’t restrain him then he’d either refuse to hold still or try to pull away before the Alpha finished. They always tied him down if he’d been caught in the pen. That was the sick added bonus after the Alpha caught him or they tranquilized him and took him back inside. Yoongi had imagined other positions with his Alpha Prince Charming, but he hadn’t been pregnant in any of those fantasies.

“Not if it’ll upset you,” Hobi put his hand on Yoongi’s cheek.

“I know you’re back there and not a different Alpha. You won’t hurt me,” Yoongi hadn’t gotten to say those words in a long time. Maybe ever. “I want you more than I’m afraid of that.”

“Promise?” Hobi asked.

Yoongi kissed Hobi harder. He climbed up on the bed and willingly presented. Hobi got up behind him and slid into him. He rested his hands on Yoongi’s hips. Hobi slowly moved in and out of him.

“I know Tae said not rough, but you can go faster than that,” Yoongi said.

“Maybe I’m trying impress you with the slow and steady method,” Hobi replied.

“A little harder than that won’t hurt anyone,” Yoongi told him.

“Okay,” Hobi sped up a little & Yoongi started to make contented sounds. Almost like he was getting a massage rather than having sex. “I assume those are good noises?”

“Very good. Keep going,” Yoongi replied. Hobi lightly massaged Yoongi’s thighs. He settled even more.

“Is this a good pace?” Hobi asked, still slightly confused.

“Perfect,” Yoongi told him.

“Just tell me if you want me to change,” Hobi rubbed Yoongi’s hips.

“I will,” Yoongi relaxed into the pillow and swayed his back. His belly almost touched the bed. As Hobi moved in and out of him, he realized they weren’t having sex. They were making love. Hobi carefully leaned on Yoongi’s back and looped his arms under Yoongi’s armpits so he was in almost the same position as Yoongi. He was holding his weight in his shoulders, off Yoongi and the pup.

“I love you and the pup more than anything,” he kissed the back of Yoongi’s neck.

“We love you too,” Yoongi replied, pushing his hips back onto Hobi’s cock. “Now you can fuck me. Within reason.”

“Will do,” Hobi pushed himself back up and held on to Yoongi’s hips again. He moved as fast as he was comfortable with and Yoongi started to groan. He buried his face in the pillow and grunted the more Hobi thrust into him. Hobi felt his knot starting to form.

“Let it happen,” Yoongi breathed.

“No, you come first,” Hobi insisted. He reached down and grabbed Yoongi’s cock. Omega males didn’t have particularly large dicks, but Yoongi had enough to hold onto. Hobi started working it in time with his thrusting. Yoongi was screaming into the pillow. Hobi felt him start to twitch. “That’s it, love. Come for me.”

Yoongi let go and his orgasm took over. He pushed his hips back on Hobi’s cock and bit the pillow. Hobi held onto his hips as his knot got bigger.

“Finish,” Yoongi breathed. Hobi’s knot swelled inside Yoongi and his dick pumped hard into him. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath while he came. It wasn’t that he hadn’t had sex in years. It was that he’d never had sex that mattered. He’d never had sex with someone he cared about, someone he loved. That’s why he couldn’t breathe and saw stars. He hoped Yoongi felt the same way.

“That was amazing,” Yoongi breathed.

“Really?” Hobi asked.

“Yes,” Yoongi confirmed.

“Good,” Hobi smiled even though Yoongi couldn’t see it.

“I was a virgin when I went to the Breeder farm. I never got to choose who knotted me until right now,” Yoongi said.

“Well, you’re about to be officially stuck with me,” Hobi replied.

“Perfect,” Yoongi said.

Once Hobi’s knot went down and they separated, Yoongi sat up and looked at him.

“Ready?” he asked.

Hobi ran his hand down Yoongi’s neck.

“I almost hate to ruin your perfect skin,” he said.

“You won’t be ruining it, not by a long shot,” Yoongi replied.

“Okay,” Hobi kissed Yoongi’s shoulder and then bit down. He didn’t want to break the skin, just hard enough to leave a mark. Yoongi grunted.

“You okay?” Hobi jerked his head up.

“I’m fine,” Yoongi replied. “I apologize in advance if I bite you a little too hard. I’m used to biting Alphas for a different reason.”

“I can take it,” Hobi said. Yoongi put his teeth on Hobi’s shoulder and bit down. It was a hard bite. He’d definitely broken the skin. Hobi didn’t make a noise. He didn’t want to upset him.

“I made you bleed,” Yoongi said when he pulled back.

“It’s okay. I’ll have Tae patch me up,” Hobi told him. “It’s official now, love. I’m your mate.”

“And I’m yours,” Yoongi kissed him. The pup kicked. “I think pup is happy it’s official, too.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, pup,” Hobi planted a kiss on Yoongi’s belly. Yoongi smiled down at him.

“You’re gonna be a great dad,” he said.

“I hope so,” Hobi replied.

“I know so,” Yoongi ran his hand through Hobi’s hair. “Get Tae to fix up your shoulder and let’s go to bed.”

“Sounds good,” Hobi agreed.

For the first time since he got there, Yoongi didn’t panic when Hobi left the room without him. They were officially mated, he was home, and for the first time in 8 years felt truly safe.

[nahalism]

You re getting very long questions &i apologize but i don’t think i can make this one short. Different anon i hope it’s okay to tag along. If i am not wrong here a lot of evolutionary psychologist among others go to the nature argument and state that homosexual orientation as we observe in some humans [so a persistent attraction to the same sex, as opposed to a situational one (for example when a partner from the opposite sex-to whom we are fundamentally attracted to-is not available to them so they ”compensate”)] is unnatural and should be corrected or at the very least accepted like any other mental issue but not normalized, treated as a sexuality disorder (because our purpose is to survive and procreate so everything that leads us away from it is a deviation from whats natural, normal and beneficial in this take, that it’s a dis-order and an undesirable state. That plus the argument that ”problems” with sexuality usually go hand in hand with other disorders and mental problems) the argument i saw is that there are cases of homosexual acts in animal kingdom but apparently it’s mostly either accidental, caused by inability to find a partner of opposite sex or if it does happen to be a persistent purely homosexual attraction then the animal gets somehow rejected (like in monkeys) just like they would for any other deviation from the norm. We can observe that they exclude or even ridicule in their own ways individuals that are ”different”, sometimes in rather cruel ways. So i guess that would make some straight people’s disgust and rejection of homosexual people valid and natural in that scenario?

Just to clarify i am not speaking of or from my own views&mind here & onley chiming in to mention something i have personally heard from professionals, something that has been a big block on the road of my own acceptance of my orientation and sth that irks me if i try to look to animal kingdom for answers/guidance and rely on nature arguments too much because they caused me to feel like a malfunction of it rather than part of it. I’d be most interested to hear what you think. I send well wishes

heyyy, disclaimer, im no authority on what is right and wrong. i dont know what the creators intentions are, i can only speak on my own feelings and convictions (all of which are constantly evolving and changing based on what i learn and come to know)

i have heard similar theories, and other theories that differ in their line of argument but lead to the same conclusion. id be lying if i said some of them didnt have a convincing edge/haven't caused me to question the validity of my own sexual orientation. but ultimately, i live life based on my own convictions and beliefs. you can only fight theories with theories, and im not about to formulate a theory to justify myself because i dont want to have to convince anyone of my right to exist as i am. however, what i do have are my feelings and my experiences. ive loved women, ive loved men, ive loved agender/nonbinary folks, and ultimately it all comes down to the same thing. loving another human being — i can tell you now, the love i felt in those moments, was and is incredibly pure. i have no doubt that god, or whatever you wish to refer to it as (if you refer to it at all), approved. and for me personally speaking that enough.

now.. this is controversial but id be lying if i didnt speak on it.. i do think there is a balancing of poles that occurs when a man and woman are together. something, energetically shifts with the joining of two opposing halves and i believe procreation is merely a metaphor/physical symbol for the creative possibilities that come as a consequence of that merging. i think when two opposite individuals learn to harness their receptive and assertive energies and balance those energies both within themselves and as a pair, a specific energetic portal is opened. other souls (aka babies) can come through that portal, however, so can so much more. (a topic for another time). that being said!!! i also dont believe the main purpose of life for both humans and animals is procreation.

the idea we all just come here to make babies and go is very anachronistic, and even more so with the current overpopulation of humans in the world (7.888 billion -__-). if we were all here simply to procreate, i think we'd have completed that mission and returned to source by now, no? perhaps, we are all here as different expressions of the same energy, gathering intel and experience that with the expression of each life, collectively encourages the evolution of our collective consciousness, thus progressing humanity, the beings we share the earth with, and the cosmos at large, forward — perhaps we are helping the universe learn and understand itself, or perhaps the universe is using us to teach one another its own nature, and the true face of love. thus, the love i have for you, for a dog, for my partner, for my mother, for a random pig etc, all compiles into a 'data bank/record' that creates a feedback loop, and each time i love well, or each time i lack love completely, the universal energy learns, we learn, we self correct, and we come closer to unity, closer to oneness, closer to love. unfortunately, contrast and conflict creates greater evolution and need for evolution that homogeny does. without superficial differences would we recognise the depth of our fundamental similarity? without pain/discomfort, would we wholly grasp the joy of experiencing pleasure/comfort?

anyway, to wrap it up, i believe that we all come here with different missions, and maybe for some, their mission is to practice that balancing of halves, and as such experience a hetrosexual relationship. however, for others, their mission may be something else entirely. it may be learning to love and meld with a reflection of their own energy, it may be teaching people that love can take multiple forms, and that the true definition of love is to take another person as a part of yourself and love them, unconditionally, without prejudice, regardless of who they love, or how different they are to the 'norm'. if my theory that the joining of any two individuals creates a form of energy exponentially larger than their physical form in realms invisible to the eye, that still stands for queer couples. fine, the energy may not take the same form in the sense that a child cant be born from it, but that doesnt mean its any less valid, any less important, or any less magnificent in its capacity for what it is able to create.

humans are full of theories and ultimately we as people have to live in our truths and trust in our own intuition before giving credence to the opinions and theories of other people, because after all, they are just people. they are no different to us, and nor are they exempt from being infalliable. be your self and love who you love proudly because loving in a world like this is never something to be ashamed of.

sending u love and well wishes <3