#okay maybe a little sad

[cartoonyappreciation]

Depression hour rant lol.

Cupioromantism really is a pain in the ass. And my heart. Like. Here I am. I have evolved my understanding of myself from straight to pansexual to asexual and then greyromantic and then aromantic.

Ya know what’s stupid. I’ve always loved the ideas and tropes of soulmates. Because maybe there was still a chance that I’d be able to experience this apparently beautiful, borderline religious, experience of love and romance if I just found the right person. But nah. I just don’t have the capacity for sexual or romantic attraction.

And the thing is… 95% of the time, I’m great with it. Absolutely no desire for a relationship anyway. Fucking ace and aro pride all the way. Literally the idea of relationships and stuff associated with it doesn’t even cross my mind. But they other 5%. I’m lonely as hell and wishing to the world that I could be “normal”.

Then there’s the concept of sexuality and romantic attraction being fluid. Which i totally believe is valid. But the idea that I could eventually experience some fluid change allowing me to experience romantic attraction hurts to have hope in. Do I really want to keep putting myself out there time after time hoping for the small chance that something might finally click? Nah. Not really. It just makes me feel like shit bc there are plenty amazing people out there and I can’t appreciate them in the way that they want or deserve.

I’m hoping to get more involved with the ace community in-person when school starts back up. Maybe that’ll help.

[0xeyedaisy]

Random stuff

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso & Oscar Piastri exchanging helmets

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Castle in the sky AU ahoy

This belongs with that first chapter of the CitS AU that i posted last week

Just a first look at the guy

Its just a little side project for comfort

[sleepytownzzz]

aftermath.

[justanotherhh]

blitzø scratches all my character need itches: terrible decision-making skills, clearly loves his duct-taped family to bits and thinks they'd all be better off without him, tragic backstory that haunts every relationship he has, abrasive and off-putting in uncountable ways and yet practically everybody wants him carnally, incredibly protective of the people he cares about but it can go under the radar because of his keeping everyone emotionally at veeeery long arms length, keeper of the show's main themes and therefore the narrative has to put him in an emotional blender over and over, specific kink that once you notice it pops up everywhere...

[hgduo]

AND HGDUO/GOSSIPDUO/QMOCKINGJAYS YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!

[girlbloggercrowley]

i am a believer in the s3 1941 kiss

[coffeebanana]

istg half of the post-s5 finale fics i see have some sort of disclaimer in the tags or summary (or i even just saw one in the title!!) saying the fic was written because the show sucks or the finale sucked or they just hated everything about it

and it's frustrating because i probably would have enjoyed a lot of these fics! but now i'm not even going to touch them because i don't want to engage with people shitting on the show

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Poor, sad, little lawyer man.

Night Court S07E02 If I Were a Rich Man.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

[jils-things]

to love someone is to heal someone

[imperatorrrrr]

Twenty Two Games Left in the Season

Its two in the morning, I have New Jersey Devils thoughts, so here you go.

We have to remember last season was not the plan. I think this is the most important thing. If last season went how last season was expected to go (we're a bubble team potentially fighting for a wild card spot), this season actually doesn't look as bad as it does by comparison. This season is so disappointing because we're, of course, using the lens of last season and so is everyone else. Now. I'm not saying last season was a fluke. All I'm saying is last season really colors how we're perceiving the team this season and maybe we should put all of that into context.

We knew this season would be worse. I think we tend to forget that the expectation was always that this season was not going to be as miraculous as last season. There were no moves made over the summer for goaltending. Fitz decided that he was going to run a tandem of Schmiddy and VV. That..did not work out well for us. We also lost two veteran defensemen and replaced them with one rookie defenseman, Luke, and one basically rookie defenseman, Bahlers. Remember, Nemo was most likely not going to see many games this season. I mean, I'm so happy he did because he's a revelation, but Nemo was not supposed to be playing NHL games, not yet anyway. There are guys on the team that are having pretty bad regressions, but that's not indicative of a bigger problem, it happens.

Injuries. I cannot begin to emphasize how detrimental the injuries were this season. We have not been healthy once. Millsy was hurt in the preseason. My belief is he was always supposed to be the sixth defensemen and BSmith was gonna be our 7D. Haula wasn't one hundred percent to start. Nico gets hurt. Jack gets hurt. Timo gets hurt. We have Laser missing random games here and there. Pally gets hurt. Dougie gets hurt. Siegs gets hurt. BSmith gets hurt. Nosek hurt. Jack gets hurt again. I feel like that isn't even everyone?

Sixteen back to backs in one season. Yes, its an excuse. Yes, they should have learned how to play in back to backs. But like, come the fuck on, man. That is brutal scheduling. Absolutely brutal. Our record would look so different if we had like, I dunno, just ten back to backs instead of a league leading sixteen.

Lindy Ruff. I have already done my Ruff rant, but to summarize, that man does not know how to utilize his players properly. Until MM20 was forcibly removed from this team, Lindy was using Nico Hischier all wrong. Until recently, Timo has been used all wrong. Don't get me started on Holtzy. He overplays certain players and underplays others. He played the same goaltender on back to back nights. He doesn't switch out goalies until its too late. His defensive pair decisions are ass. And thats not even getting to the fact that his only in game strategy is to shorten the bench and/or change the lines. Its endless, really.

Now I know this sounds like I'm making a doom and gloom post, but hear me out.

It isn't over. We are still, somehow, in the playoff hunt. Can you believe, that even with all this adversity we've faced this season, there's still a chance they could squeak in?

Fundamentally, the team is not the issue. I think thats really important. I think there's been a lot of questions around whether last season was a fluke or that these aren't the guys that are going to lead the Devils to a Cup run. I truly don't think thats the case. Do we need a goalie? Yeah. But Dawsy is showing signs of being steady. Akira is showing signs of being steady. Even VV had a handful of good games before he was sidelined. They probably aren't our main guy moving forward, but I'm not going to sit here and hate on goalies man, thats absolutely not my MO. We have the pieces. We really, really have the pieces. When they're played correctly and put with the right linemates, our stars can really shine. Siegs was having a pretty brutal year, but you see him getting back to shades of himself when he's paired with Nemo. Kevvy was also having a bit of a bad year too, and his last, what, ten or so games, have been lights out. I think Johnny and Luke together really work. Loads of people were bemoaning the Timo trade and look he's played properly and he has like what four or five points in his last four or five games. You find the right line combos for our top six/top nine, and oh man can we really get cooking. There's going to be growing pains sure, but you have to remember how young this team is. But we have the pieces. We have our core. The elements are there. This team has the foundation to truly fly.

This young team is learning to deal with pressure. That is the main difference between last season and this season. There weren't any expectations for the Devils last season outside of whatever internal ones they had in their locker room, so everything was gravy. This season, however, this season you have a lot of external pressure. Being named Cup favorites or Cup contenders by every major NHL media source in the summer and in the lead up to the season, that is very new for the majority of the guys on this team. And they're gonna have to learn how to respond to it. And it may be painful. You know I'm the first person to rag on Lindy, but I think his comment about the pressure from the reporters leading to the unsuccessful powerplay was actually really telling. These Devils have not had to deal with any expectations. And now they do. And dealing with that mentally and not letting it affect your game is a learning process, its a growing process. How do you silence the doubt not only from the outside but internally within yourself? That isn't automatic. Each of these guys needs to figure it out. And they will. Together. This is not a case of these boys getting too high and mighty on themselves because everyone thought they'd cruise to the playoffs. No. Not at all. This is a case of being in a brand new position in the NHL and figuring out how to navigate it.

This season is not a disaster. Now, I'm not saying this season isn't cursed. It definitely is. But its not a disaster. Its not a write off. Its part of the process. Its part of our window. Our window, which remember, only really opened last season and even then it opened at least a season earlier than everyone expected, is at its very beginning stages. Its frustrating to see them seemingly "waste" a year of prime Jack, Nico, Jesper, Timo, et al, but its wrong to look at it as a waste. It isn't a waste. This is why they call it a window and not like a singular shot or whatever.

I think I'm ceasing to make sense now and it is past three in the morning, so I'm going to stop typing.

TL;DR: I love the New Jersey Devils. I will always love the New Jersey Devils. I refuse to hate this team. I refuse to say this team sucks. I refuse to give up on this team. We've had a tough season. It isn't over though. And I hope we get to see them play some fun hockey as we have a little over a month of regular season hockey left to play.

[thebirdandhersong]

sometimes (very often) I just sit there like ?????????

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Monaco Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello)

[imslowlydisintegrating]

to me the title of taylor swifts upcoming album has the same vibe of every tori spring quote i see. like its trying way too hard to be relatable but its just. mild to severe cringe. (i have Opinions about heartstopper and alice oseman books in general. do not tell char.)

i avoid her like the plague so i only found out she has a new album coming out today? what's it called. if it's some indie bullshit attempt again i'm going to lose it i can't deal with another folklore/evermore era it nearly broke me the last time <- words of a person who used to only vaguely know taylor swift when those albums came out