#okay this ended up being long

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

déjà vu

déjà vu : a french term that translates to "already seen." It is a phenomenon where an individual feels a strong sense of familiarity or recognition with a current situation.

bnha chap. 362 n 403 spoilers ! childhood friends to lovers can you tell i'm inlove with this trope oooorrr…, angsty?? bittersweet hurt/comfort ?? fem reader, reader's height isn't specified but is shorter than katsuki's, reader gets a bit insecure but katsuki fixes that up rq, reader is very mushy n inlove with katsuki, (but aren't we all) katsuki loves reader very much in return

in his final moments, katsuki thinks of you.

he thinks about primary school. you’re both ten, double digits. foolishly believing you were all grown up. katsuki’s fingers are white and dry from cleaning up the chalkboard, since you guys were tasked for clean up duty today.

or at least, you were. but your classmate suddenly vanished without a word and katsuki, as nice and helpful as he was (to you, at least) decided to stay behind to help you, don’t ask him where your cleaning buddy went, he has absolutely no idea and has absolutely nothing to do with it. at all.

“ y’know—” he starts, soaking the soggy sponge into the water bucket next to him, then squeezing it out. “when we’re done with this stupid school stuff, i’ll go pro.” he states, slapping the sponge onto the board, creating a loud splat noise.

you, having heard this time and time before, simply look at him and smile, placing your classmates chairs on top of their desks row by row “mhm, i know !” you grin “ 'n you’ll be number one, right ?” you’re standing in between two desks, hands playing with your uniform skirt behind your back.

“hell yeah i will !” katsuki boasts, smirking. he scrubs at the board a little more vigorously.

“bad word !” you tease, giggling as you point at him “ 'm gonna tell miss you said a cuss word again !”

he huffs, turning around to scrunch his nose up and stick his tongue out at you, you stick yours out back playfully. “as if i care ! yer too much of a wuss to snitch on me anyways.”

“no I’m not, i’ll do it right now !” katsuki rolls his red eyes at you, returning to his task and wiping the board down in a zig zag motion. “ i don’t care” he reiterates.

you pout at his back and just then get an idea you’re sure will piss him off, a cat like grin pulls at your lips.

“okaaayy … then i’ll just tell your mom !” you sing, bursting into giggles when he swiftly turns around and waves the wet sponge in your direction. he’s too far to reach you but you dodge anyway, just to mess with him.

“no you won’t.”

“yeah, i will !” you counter, blowing a raspberry at him. you both break out into a fit of giggles when he aggressively dips the sponge into the water and flicks the droplets at you once more, before he decides to close the distance and chase you around your cramped little classroom growling and screaming, threatening you with the dirty sponge.

you’re squealing and giggling and laughing, trying to fend him off with a broom and even then, at ten. then when the concept of cherishing memories of the time you spend together wasn’t even an afterthought in his mind, katsuki remembers wishing he could stay with you like this forever.

when you’re both out of breath the classroom is just as messy—if not messier than it usually is. you give eachother a look then belly laugh some more.

you’re picking up chairs again and katsuki’s helping you, so it goes even faster. you don’t wanna go home because you won’t be seeing him anymore, but you have to admit your eager to finish and leave school.

katsuki’s back is to you on the second row and he can’t see you looking at him from the back row, he decides it’s time he says what he wanted to say before you got distracted. he clutches the legs of the chair he’s holding a little tighter.

“hey,” his voice comes suddenly in the quiet, it surprises you a little, you hum in response “ 'm really gonna go pro when we’re done with school, y’know.” he insisted.

you tilt your head wearily, looking at him with his back still turned to you. “yeah, i know.” you respond “you said that already.” you’re confused, he can’t hear the scrapping noise of the wooden chairs anymore, it’s annoyingly too quiet now.

“ you’re coming with me” he pauses, turning to you a little so you catch a peak of his quickly reddening face. it sounds like a statement but even then you know better. you don’t miss a beat, nodding furiously “uhuh, always !” his cheeks flare up more as he turns fully towards you. he walks over until the only thing separating you is the desk in between. he turns his back to you again to lean against the desk seperating you both.

“you’ll be with me, and we’ll be pro's together” he maintained. he feels his chest tighten when you offer him more of your pretty bright smiles and nods, you smile at him the way he knows you don’t with the other boys in class who are stupid enough to think they deserve even a second of your time and it makes him feel a little bit more confident as he speaks more clearly “a-and I’ll be number one, and you’ll be number two. but not behind me, with me, yknow ?” he feels stupid for having to explain himself but you don’t mind, as long as you can stay with katsuki you don’t mind which number you are. you move across the table so you can stand next to him. you nod and he let's out a little huff and a smile starts pulling at his mouth.

"a-and" he gulps " 'n then—i'll marry you."

it's quiet for just moment.

and then you register what he said and feel your entire body heat up.

"w-wha ?! " you sputter "marry me ?!" your wide eyes startle him as he glances at you but refuses to look over again. he's red to the tips of his ears, pulling at the bottom of his now longer tucked in shirt. despite the growing lump in his throat, he nods.

"mhm," he kicks at an eraser laying on the floor, the only noise heard coming from it hitting a wall a little further. you don't see where, you're still looking at him. " my ma says i can't do it now, since it's...illegal, or something." he scoffs dissaprovingly "b-but..when 'm older," he sucks in a breath, then suddenly turns to you causing you to sit up straighter in suprise, you feel your hands gripping the desk tighter and tighter as your face feels more and more on fire. "when i'm older—i'll do it. that way, none of those other losers will look at you."

he looks way more flustered than you but he's sitting up straight still, eyes determined and unwavering and it knocks the wind out of you, because for as long as you can remember katsuki's been the coolest.

there's absolutely no doubt in your mind he's embarrassed. if his face wasn't a dead give away, his posture and demeanor give it away just as much. you've known him for a long time now, since you were 6 years old and he had walked up to you. little newbie you, who had transferred in the middle of the school year and with nobody to play with. he was there, head held high with his friends in tow behind him, demanding to know what your quirk was and the rest was history.

katsuki persists even when he knows the odds are low, he perseveres and keeps kicking and punching and blowing up everything in his path where anyone else would've given up while they had the chance. like when he fought against those 4th graders while you were all still only in 2nd grade. his face was all messed up and he had a nosebleed, but he ended up winning. because he swore he would keep winning.

'cus that's what heroes do.'

katsuki fights and keeps fighting even if you think the odds are low, because he doesn't. to him, there's absolutely no doubt in his mind he'd win. even here, when he isn't fighting, instead confessing to you. he's red-faced, embarrassed out of his mind and nervous, but his shoulders are squared and there's no doubt in his eyes after he had just told you he would marry you. when he thought about being older, he thought about you being there with him.

and even after what you'd heard all you can think is that your katsuki is so cool.

so with a bright smile, bright eyes and the summer sun slowly setting in your empty little cramped classroom, you give him your response.

"mhm ! "

katsuki thinks about his last year of middle school.

today's the last day of your middle school life before you go off to high school and katsuki couldn't be happier to leave this shitty school. he's 15 now. older, but besides his features, remained the same (to you, at least) .

it's your last day and you finish it off with cleaning duty, ironically, and he remembers that day back in elementary. then proceeds to shake it off, hoping to shake off the embarrassing memories. but it doesn't seem to work because it feels like the universe is seriously fucking with him.

you're the one tasked with cleaning duty again and with your cleaning buddy, yet again, being nowhere to be found. katsuki yet again staying behind to help you out. and again, katsuki has absolutely no idea where your buddy went and has absolutely nothing to do with it. at all.

it shouldn't be anything new, he stays and helps, albeit begrudingly, every time you have cleaning duty. but it feels different somehow. katsuki chalks it up to it being the end of the year.

the only difference from last time is you actually finish in record time. usually, that would've been great news, less time at school and even more free time katsuki can spend with you.

but you're quiet today.

you usually chat his ear off, and just because it's you, he chat's right back. wether you're messing around teasing each other or just talking about your day at school or who's house you're staying over at for the afternoon and which movie you're watching, you're always talking about something. it's comforting where he'd usually think it to be annoying with anyone else. but they aren't you.

and he doesn't like it.

when you finish you reach for your bag sitting neatly on top of your desk but katsuki stops you, grabbing your wrist. the feel of your soft skin has him involentarily flushing lightly, he ignores it in favor of squeezing your wrist when you don't immediately look back at him.

"what's up with you ?" he questioned gruffly. it comes out harsh, but that's not what you hear. you've known katsuki for a long time, after all. he's worried, you can tell. his words are rough around the edges but his eyes are soft, filled with care and the soft stroke of his thumb against you skin sends slight shivers down your spine when you turn to look at him shyly.

you open your mouth to deny him, but he can practically read your mind "don't give me that 'nothinngg' bullshit" your nose scrunches at the way his voice raises in pitch as he crudely mimicks you and a little smirk pulls at his face for only a moment before it falls again " don't go lyin' to me. know i hate that shit" he rasped.

you sigh, he's known you just as long as you'd known him after all.

you lean against your desk and he copies you, your shoulders brushing as he scoots himself a little closer to you. you jump up a little to sit on your desk, you're the same height as him like this. he scoots a little closer and turns to look at you, placing his hands on your desk to lean on it, fingers inches away from yours.

"i just—" you faltered "this our last day of school. when the day is over we'll be high schoolers." you stated. katsuki scoffs jokingly and leans a bit closer to you "what ? you tellin' me youre gonna miss this dump ? last i heard, you were the first one who wanted to leave so you wouldn't have to deal with mr. nakamura anymore." he jests, trying to lighten the mood as best he could, the worry in his eyes still shining bright. a smile pulls at the corner of his lips when you huff out a little giggle.

"yeah well, i won't be missing mr. nakamura. or his stupid tests" you pretend to shiver as you cringe "at all." katsuki let's out a cute chuckle. he's like a magnet, you feel yourself scooting closer to where he's leaning next to you, like you're being pulled closer to him, you don't mind. you never mind being close to katsuki.

"but..?" he coaxed, knowing that wasn't all you wanted to say.

"but.." you continue "but i'll miss this, yknow ? like—the school itself wasn't..the best" katsuki scoffs in response but doesn't interrupt "the teachers weren't either. but—i dunno—this. being here." you confess, you stare down at your shoes as you kicks your legs aimlessly into the air " we've spent such a long time here, and now we're leaving. we went from being the youngest—to the oldest, to going back to being the youngest again, and that in itself isn't the problem.."

"then what is ?" he raises a brow.

"we're gonna be in a completely different school, with completely different people—"

"but we'll be together." he interrupts "you said you wanted to go to ua too" you said you were gonna stay with me is what he wants to say, but it's childish and that wouldn't be fair to you.

"of course, i still do !" you reassure "but—there'll be tons of new, strong, cool people at ua.."

"maybe even stronger and cooler than me.." you trail off. you don't need to say more for katsuki to understand what you mean and it pissed him off.

"shut up." he growls.

"katsuki—"

"no. shut the fuck up." he's right in front of you before you can blink. you reflexively part your legs and he takes the opportunity to stand even closer to you, right in your space. you feel your cheeks warm at the proximity, you’re close enough to see it's apparently affecting him too, his cheeks turning a cute pink but as stubborn as your katsuki is he doesn't budge. as usual.

you don't exactly know what you and katsuki are. you know you like him, you know you have for a long time. and you'd like to believe he likes you too. he doesn't act the way he does with you the way he does with his other friends (or his lackeys as he calls them, you're the only one he openly calls his friend) but he doesn't really have anyone close to him besides you, so you don't know if he'd act this way with someone else.

the thought leaves a nasty taste in your mouth, so you decide to focus on something else. something else being katsuki, of course, he's all up in your space. his gaze not allowing you to look or even think about anything else but him.

"who i meet at ua doesn't fuckin' matter, they'll all be weaksauce compared to me anyway" he states smugly, causing you to huff out a laugh again " i don't care if theyre cool, or strong" his nose scrunches up in disgust as he quips venomously "i don't care about any of that—and i don't hang out with you because of that either—i fuckin' care about you because you're you."

your heart stutters.

" what, you think i hang out witcha because of superficial shit like that ? you mockin' me or something ?"

"no, no course not !" you insist, shaking your head.

" exactly, so don't..." he huffs, looking away from you towards the ground, there's a random eraser lying on the ground and he kicks it "don't go saying dumb shit like that."

"i don't waste my time with just anyone, 's why i'm wastin' it with your ass" he jokes, chuckling when you squeeze his nose in response. supressing a smile you whine at him when he leans forward to bite yours.

"katsuki, you're gross !" you giggle as you push at his face, he smiles lightly at the sound of your laughter, one of his favorite sounds. "ya started it." he disputes weakly, his smile turning into a smirk when you groan and then it falls again as he looks at you seriously.

" but seriously" he starts "i mean it, y'know. don't just say shit to say it"

"i know" you smile. he grunts in acknowledgement then continues.

"i don't care about how cool those future ua asshats are gonna be. you're different, you're not like that—i mean—that's not what i look at—what i see with you" he fumbles around for his words and groans, slamming his forehead against your shoulder. you're used to katsuki being physical, but that was usually when he was being annoying, pinching and prodding and biting at you. he's rarely ever this affectionate. it's different, but nice..really nice, so you savor it while you can. your fingers twitch a little closer to his and you decide to take a leap of faith, placing your hands ontop of his. he flinches and you're about to pull back when he grips your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours. you feel him huff into your uniform. his hair tickles as he shuffles his head deeper inside your shoulder.

"you're not like those other losers, y'not like anyone" he explains "you're—when you're around it's like you're glowing. you're bright and when you talk, everyone sorta—gets pulled towards you like you're some typa magnet" his hands get warmer against yours as he speaks. you're surprised that he sees you this way, when that's practically the same way you see him.

" you pull people in so easily, and it pisses me off that you don't realise it. you are strong, and cool and everything else but that's not all you are. s'not all i care about."

"you're annoying. and whiney. extremely annoying, actually" he chuckles, and you pull at his ear "but—" he continues "but you're..fun to be around or whatever, wouldn't be around you otherwise. you're too fuckin' nice and your taste in music isn't bad" katsuki grumbles.

he wants to say more, so much more. he wants to say he thinks the way you immerse yourself when you're watching a movie together is adorable. the way you hold yourself back from commenting during the movie so as not to be annoying, even thought he could listen to you naming street signs and never get bored. the way your eyes light up when you get your grade back for a test you had studied your ass off for, when you come to him showing off your hard work it makes him want to hold you and never let go. he wants to say the way you're not scared to banter and bicker with him, the way your nose scrunches up when you try to hold in your laughter when he passes you a crudely drawn picture of your homeroom teacher, the way you smile at him whenever you see him, whenever he shares his umbrella or your lunches even though you have your own and he has his, makes him want to kiss you silly.

he wants to say all this and more, but he knows the words won't come out right, they never do. but somehow you understand and it's another thing he admires—that he loves about you.

"i...didn't know you felt that way" is all you can quietly muster up. you're cute, he feels you squeezing his hands a little tighter " yeah you didn't, cus i didn't tell you" he ribbed. you huff out a 'dont be annoying" gruffly and he chuckles. the asshole.

your asshole, though, your heart decides.

you're both quiet, everything is quiet and you're happy, reassured. you'd be happy if this is where the conversation ended but katsuki never fails to surprise you today it seemed.

" 'sides" he squeezes your hands tighter "i promised you i'd marry you didn't i ? how can i do that if i'm not around you, hah ?"

you're heart skips approximately three beats at the memory of his promise and you lean back to look at his fully red cheeks and his fleeing eyes.

"you still remember that ?" you ask incredulously. he rolls his eyes but you can tell it's simply to save face as he responds " of course i do. wasn't that long ago."

"but—we were like—ten when that happened. "

"so ?" he responds simply "doesn't change nothin'. i told you, i don't say shit to just say it."

you're flustered and so utterly confused, but there's a happy feeling bubbling in your stomach at his words " but we're not even dating !"

"we're not ?" of course not , he knows he hadn't properly asked you to be his girlfriend. but he figured if he talked about the memory that seemed to refuse being pushed aside, he could casually sneak by what he was too embarrassed to ask. but of course, you never make it easy for him.

"no, we aren't" you pout, crossing your arms at him. he grumbles, reaching to pull your arms away from your chest but you're stubborn, he was right about you being extremely annoying. "cut that out," he hissed.

"mm-mm ! " you shake your head "you can't just decide we're together. i didn't even know you liked me like that.." you trail off shyly. katsuki looks utterly baffled "hah?! whaddya mean you didn't know ? you don't see me actin' like this with anyone else do you ?"

"that's cus you're mean to everyone else !" you choked out, puffing your cheeks out at him.

"well yeah ! but—that's the thing, i'm not mean to you !" he defends, faltering when you raise a brow at him "fuck off, m'not that mean ! i'm just messing with you !" he rebutted. you simply roll your eyes at him and after a moment he sighs.

"fine" he concedes "i should've told you i liked you, i don't just decide that i want you to be my girlfriend when it's convenient for me or something" he keeps quiet about how you could of also told him you liked him as well for now, for fear of you getting moody at him again.

you still look away from him and he groans "hey c'mon, look at me." he utters sincerely. after a minute, you offer him a glance and he takes his opportunity, turning your face towards him, holding back a grin when he feels how warm your cheeks are.

"do you...wanna be my girlfriend ?" he stammers, looking at you with his red cheeks and bashful red eyes, and yet his gaze doesn't falter.

so cool.

it's your last day of middle school, your last day before you go off to a different school with different people. but with your katsuki by your side, and that's all that matters to you.

and with a bright smile, bright eyes and the summer sun slowly setting in your empty classroom, you give him your response by pressing your lips to his softly.

katsuki thinks about the night before today, when you'd knocked at his door in the dead of night.

usually, on any other day, he'd have scolded you for being up so late but would've ended up letting you in anyway. but lately, things hadn't been as they had been before..everything happened. and he could tell you were upset, so he simply let you in without a word.

you take the liberty of laying down in his bed like you used to back at his house and back at the dorms. he doesn't mind. it feels familiar, comforting.

he lies down next to you and you immediately latch onto him, seeking his warmth. with your head in his chest, you hold onto him tightly, like he'll dissapear if you don't. he clings to you just as tightly.

"what's up with you ?" he mumbles sleepily, softer than when he would've if he were more awake, but still focusing all of his attention onto you.

he feels you shake against his chest "jus' wanted to be wif you" he hears you mumbles. he presses his lips to the top of your head, pressing a sweet little kiss onto it as you breathe "you know that's bullshit." he reprimands, he feels you squeeze him tighter. he squeezes your waist twice, his warm hands running up and down your sides "c'mon, talk to me" he prodded

you look up at him and he looks down at you. your eyes are glossy, he can tell even in the dark and he's sure you were crying a little. his theory is confirmed when he hears you let out a little sniffle, his heart breaks at the sound. his heart breaks even more when you squeeze your eyes shut, gripping at the front of his shirt.

"baby," he pleads softly, pressing soft kisses to your forehead, mouth and cheeks when you whine. "tell me what's bothering you, yeah ?"

"m'just—you're gonna be fighting tomorrow, and we all are and i know you're strong but you'll be in the front lines against him" you blubbered, you hiccup as tears roll down your cheeks " and i know you're strong. but katsu, i can't—" you gasp. he shushes you softly, pressing kiss after kiss to your lips. he knows what you're gonna say, he knows you're worried. he's known you for so long after all.

he hated himself the day he woke up after the first war. when he woke up to you crying at his side, with you yourself still being injured. he hates how much he worried you that day and he knows that the fleeting glances you give him whenever you have a briefing with the pro's, the way you stare off at nothing whenever you catch a glimpse of his scars, are all out of worry for him. he did the same after he had found out you had also been heavily injured during the brawl, so he can't say he wouldn't do the same way.

"baby, babe—look at me" he intones softly, grabbing onto your tear stained cheeks to get you to look at him, he's close so he's sure you can see him despite the darkness. he can't help pressing another kiss to your lips " nothing's gonna happen, okay ?" he reassures, rubbing your cheek softly.

"i can't see you like that again, katsuki. i just can't" you whimper, leaning into his hand.

"you won't, promise you won't." he vows. he knows you're even more worried because you'll both be in different areas and he hates he won't be able to keep his eye on you. but you're strong and cool and everything else, so he trusts you'll be okay "i need you to trust me"

"i do" you sniffle, taking a deep breath "i do trust you, but i just—don't wanna see you get hurt, kacchan"

he sighs softly, staring at you lovingly as he pulls you towards his chest. you nuzzle against him and he presses his mouth to the side of your head. "i can't promise i won't be gettin' hurt, s'gonna happen on the job" he says carefully, rubbing your back "but i promise i'll always come back to you. no matter how fucked up i get, i'll win. for you." he declares, feeling you shove your head deeper against his shoulder.

you remember how despite getting extremely injured by shigaraki, he recovered in record time. it seemed nothing could stop your boyfriend from proving to the world he was the best. because katsuki fights and keeps fighting even if you think the odds are low, because he doesn't. because to him, there's absolutely no doubt in his mind he'll win.

and despite the worry and the fear gnawing at you, you can't help but think your katsuki is so fucking cool.

so you nod against his shoulder and he feels the collar of his shirt grow wet, but he doesn't mind as your grip on him loosens lightly until you can feel yourself falling asleep.

before you fall though, you hear katsuki speak.

"besides, i promised you i'd marry you didn't i ?"

he feels you smile into his neck, and you give him your response by happily nodding into his shoulder with a hum.

in his final moments, katsuki thinks of you.

he thinks of the promises he's made. he thinks of the promise he made to his old hag to not cause you, such a sweet girl, too much trouble. he remembers the promise he made to his old man to stay safe while he went out on patrol and when he'd fight against shigaraki for the second time. he remembers the promise he made to himself to get his limited edition all might card signed one day. and he remembers the promise he'd made when he said he'd always, always come back to you.

and he remembers the promise he'd made to marry you. the promise that you both would be together and none of the other losers would look at you.

so when he awakens, katsuki doesn't bother to ask why or how.

he simply fights and keeps fighting, so he can win, no matter how fucked up he gets.

and always, always come back to you.

[wherewolf]

the responses i’ve seen to shiv’s ending seem very quick to write her off as just another sad victim of the cycle, which isn’t without truth BUT!!! that is not even remotely the summation of shiv’s story.

i don’t think she votes yes to “save kendall” or to try to finally set her brothers free. and i don’t think her main concern was that ken was becoming their dad. she absolutely noticed and didn’t love it, but that was not her motivation in betraying him. she was thinking about herself.

it’s tempting to make a martyr out of her as she is the only female child and we see her suffer the onslaught of misogyny that comes with that. but to make her into a saintlike figure who got beat takes away the power and intelligence behind her decision.

at this point she’s stuck between two non ideal choices, but she recognizes that they have accidentally made her the single most important player in the game. because while she can’t have the outcome she’d prefer, she has the power to decide the fates of everyone else. the written off lone woman now holds in her hands the fate of every man in her life.

so she thinks about the long term benefits of both options and realizes that one side leaves her completely without any leverage.

her brothers have proven to her multiple times in the last few days alone that they will cut her out and walk all over her the first chance they get. siding with them leaves her nothing to bargain with. she would just have to hope that ken would actually take care of her. and that level of vulnerability is not only unacceptable to her, it’s stupid. and shiv fuckin roy is not stupid.

so she thinks about the other side and about what she actually wants for her life. and against her better judgment, it’s becomes unfortunately clear that she wants tom. the way she wants him is not altogether loving or even good but it is necessary to her. she sees relationships as having winners and losers and she chose this man specifically so that she could be confident in her ability to win. except now he’s grown some balls and made himself unavailable to her.

she may not like the way her husband is evolving but she already placed her bets on him, so she’s sure as hell not losing to him now. there’s also a part of her that feels intrigued by this new man she’s married to. it’s interesting to have a sparring partner in him instead of having to looking for excitement outside of their marriage.

so for maybe the first time ever, she processes what tom has said to her and thinks about what he actually wants.

he needs her to prove that she cares. he needs to know that she is capable of sacrifice. if she can’t find it within herself to do this for him, then she will lose him, and by extension, she will lose.

siding with tom gives her the opportunity to once and for all make a grand-stand gesture of love, but more importantly, it creates leverage for her. never again will he be able to hold the moral high ground over her head. never again can he say she doesn’t love him. never again can he call her selfish or uncaring. above all, he can never betray her again, because she just removed all of his moral justification for turning on her. he doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s just taken back all the power in their relationship. just in a more subtle way than she’s used to operating.

and just like that, she has the ceo of a multi billion dollar company in her pocket, while situating herself as the only descendant of logan roy to still be playing the game, having removed her brothers from the equation permanently. she may still be far from the top but she’s creating a path for herself to climb.

so yes, she’ll let tom play king for a day, and she’ll have his baby and say “congratulations,” and play the gracious wife, but tomorrow is a new day with lots of room to maneuver. and when her husband puts out his hand, she’ll place her own on top. but she won’t grasp it because she doesn’t need to.

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[lovesickeros]

☆ de fontaine

{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k

This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!

She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.

She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.

Furina is tired.

But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?

So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.

Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.

Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.

An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.

She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.

She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.

She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.

And Furina has always been good at lying.

It's the believing that's the hard part.

There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?

Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.

She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?

She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.

Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?

Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.

Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?

They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?

"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"

Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.

Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.

Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.

Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.

"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.

But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.

They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.

She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.

If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..

Furina will make sure they do.

[averageludwig]

I need to get this out of my system or i will blow up. LIKE DAMN.. DAMN. LIKE OKAY. Like damn. Like. Tears in my eyes . fistful of hair . rocking back and forth . damn. He is ruining my life. Guys on the count if 3 throw the biggest rock at me. I need to be stoned there is no cure to this. goodnight cruel world.

[mishy-mashy]

Probably not gonna match with when this comes out translated, but still—just a few things I liked about BNHA 423

WE GOT TO SEE THE VESTIGES AGAAAAINNNNN!!! HI BRUCE!

I think Bruce gets a lot of bad angles. This is an example (but it's okay honey, you're still hot stuff)

Unfortunately, I have a favorite. It's Bruce. The most Normal Guy™ in the vestige line up. And the special-est sopping wet cat for Kudo ever (Yoichi is a dry cat because at least Kudo remembered to take Yoichi inside).

The vestiges were all gearing for a punch, but Tomura/Tenko is reaching out.

The rest of the users usually use OFA to punch, is the general idea we see. But Tomura/Tenko's Quirk isn't that.

Tomura/Tenko reaching his hand out to grab, and the vestiges readying a punch—it's their ways of putting the hurt on.

And Tomura/Tenko knows what happens if he puts his fingers on someone. He was aiming for AFO's head too. Guy was pissed.

I like that the vestiges look like they're crawling out of hell (or the depths) here. Technically for OFA itself, which they embody, being in AFO's realm was hell. It meant they failed their collective goals to win against AFO, and keep OFA [Yoichi] out of his possession

Also, they're all embers of who they once were. If Factors embodied their personalities, these embers are the leftovers of that embodiment. Their eyes are blank.

And even when they're only shattered fragments of themselves, they came for AFO to take him down.

They really embodied that purpose. Even as husks of themselves, or sad leftovers that scattered from their destroyed Factors, they still reached forward to clock AFO one last time.

They were that determined, and that determination was all that was left of them.

Meanwhile, with Yoichi, his itty bitty remains continued trying to talk sense into his brother till the end.

Yoichi has such a bleeding heart. But he also loved his brother.

AFO is standing in the dark. But in that dark, there's a light. It's Yoichi, as if he were the light at the end of the tunnel.

AFO chased OFA for decades, and ruined a lot of lives, just to have Yoichi by his side again.

Joining hands with Garaki; killing Banjo, En, Nana; forcing the creation and upbringing of Tenko; the whole Shimura incident; everything he did to UA and the Aoyamas to get close to the wielder of OFA [Yoichi]. He did all that, and more.

He just wanted the chance to have Yoichi with him again. That was his purpose in obtaining OFA this whole time.

Yoichi was AFO's light at the end of the tunnel.

Too bad for AFO, the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train.

Yoichi is telling AFO what happened, but I love that in front of Yoichi, AFO became himself. I mean, not a mass of scar tissue, but who he originally looked like

Idk, there's just something symbolic about it?

Midoriya calls AFO a lonely man. And Yoichi comes to him, and AFO says he wants Yoichi by his side. He wouldn't be lonely if that were the case. Yoichi could make him not lonely anymore.

And the lonely man, a bundle of scar tissue from his warpath to see Yoichi again, reverts to a time he had no injuries or scars. He looks like the period of time where he and Yoichi lived in the same era.

In front of Yoichi, he's just.. himself, I guess is how to put it. Not a mass of scar tissue, or the evil villain everyone feared: he's literally just Yoichi's "Nii-san".

It's like, the scar tissue shed itself to reveal AFO's true face.

He wants to see Yoichi's face, and ended up showing his own without even meaning or thinking to.

He's finally looking straight at Yoichi, trying to see his face. It's not like when Yoichi was alive, when AFO always looked down on him, and just waited for him to bend to his will.

Now, AFO has little time left with Yoichi, and he's lost his composure for it, wanting to see Yoichi as more than an ember. But maybe he got to the point he only ever saw Yoichi for his Factor, rather than the Factor for Yoichi: how often has he said he was chasing One For All, instead of his younger brother?

AFO wanted to see Yoichi's face, but when he saw Yoichi next to Kudo... yeah, he lost his mind a bit there. Probably (Definitely?) because he saw Kudo's Ability, and Kudo with Yoichi. And Kudo is "to blame for everything".

Maybe he lost it seeing Kudo and Yoichi together, because it was a repeat of the past, I suppose?

(Technically, he did see Yoichi's face one last time already. Just that he also saw the bastard Kudo's face again too. And AFO did not like that.)

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

(so many of my favourites actually don't fit in the poll options ffs 😭)

[broken-egg-yolk-blog]

part one part two

Nico truly hoped Will was right. He kept claiming that as soon as the summer campers left everything would all settle down. Nico felt as if he needed that more than ever. Despite the last week of summer being significantly less eventful as most weeks, it did not stop it from being chaotic. Some campers chose to spend their last few days of camp relaxing and hanging about with their friends they wouldn’t see until next year. Others spent their time pulling last minute pranks, or using every given opportunity to exploit their demi-godly privileges until their last chance.

Friday is seemingly when reality hit. On Sunday most of the campers would pack up their belongings and head home for the school year, leaving behind their second home and their friends. This year Nico was staying for good. A mixture of emotions swelled within him. Anxiety, what if people still held grudges against him? What if they didn’t actually want him to stay at all? Sadness, his closest friends were leaving to go back to school. Sure he had some people, including Will-obviously, but the idea of losing the people he had just gained opened a wound in his heart he wasn’t prepared for. Much to his confusion, Nico also felt excited. He finally had a home. A solid, reliable home, complete with people he cared about and got to spend time with.

Will hiked up the hill to meet him. He sat down in the grass next to Nico with a slight sigh. Whenever Will sat down next to him Nico couldn’t help but notice that he sat fairly close. Close enough that their knees, or elbows, or sometimes even their hands, would bump into and brush against one another. Nico, not so secretly, enjoyed it. It was nice having someone that wasn’t afraid to be near him, someone that didn’t see him as inherently dangerous or evil. 

“Hi,” Nico says.

Will glances over at him, that soft permanent smile making Nico feel compelled to return it, “Hey, death boy.”

Nico rolled his eyes lightly, he’d long since grown used to the nickname but he couldn’t help but find it mildly ridiculous every time.

“How is the infirmary?”

“Forecast says it probably won’t burn down,” Will jokes, “assuming the Stoll brothers keep it together for another forty-eight hours.”

“That is a lot to ask of them you know,” Nico met his eyes, he had been practicing eye contact with Jason earlier that day. Despite his attempts to prove Will wrong, Nico felt the strong urge to pull his focus away. Will’s eyes were way different than Jasons. There was so much more to looking at him, it made Nico’s body burn beneath his skin.

“Yeah, well, they owe me a few favors,” Will replied, his gaze tracing Nico’s face in a way that made him want to turn away and hide forever, yet simultaneously never look away. 

Nico smiled at Will, the eye contact burning a hole between them. Will was the first to look away, Nico would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved, something about it held an intensity Nico hadn’t been ready for, but the absence of it left him craving more. A comfortable silence settled between the two of them as they took turns looking out over the scene of camp below them and stealing gazes of the other when they were not looking. 

Nico thought that Will had an unfair advantage when it came to looks. He felt as if he was nothing truly special, he definitely wasn’t the worst looking but when compared to Will, let’s just say he didn’t think they even belonged on the same measuring scale. Especially now, in the afternoon light, finally relaxing after a day of work, Will looked incredible. His messy blonde hair clumped into curls falling just below his law line, summer tanned skin radiating warmth, his skin decorated with an excess of freckles from a well spent summer.

“Will,”

“Yeah?” Nico could see him gaze over from the corner of his eye but he kept his gaze locked on the horizon.

“You’re from Texas, right?”

“Indeed,” Will smiled, sounding slightly confused. Nico just hummed in response. A beat of silence held between them. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I just-” Nico bit his lip, realizing now how stupid it sounded, “was curious?”

“About something you already knew?”

“Yes.” That, somehow, made Will laugh, which caused a flood of warmth to spread through Nico’s body as their legs bumped together.

“Do you want to know more about it?” 

More about you, Nico thought, “Yes.”

“Okay what do you want to know?”  Will asked, sounding incredibly amused. He shifted his body so that he was facing Nico more, their legs partially intertwined, crossed at the ankles. Will didn’t seem to notice, or at least he didn’t seem to mind.

Fuck, Nico chided to himself. He hadn’t thought this far in advance. He racked his brain for questions about Texas. He only ever knew one other person from Texas, Leo Valdez. The name brought a wave of sadness through Nico but he pushed it away, refusing to dwell on it right now. Leo was definitely not the prime example of a proper Texan, but it was all Nico had to work with. 

“Do you have one of those hats?” Nico blurted out, it was a stupid question. The first thing that had come to his mind was a memory of a running joke between Jason, Piper and Leo about him needing some type of hat to actually count as an Texan. Will would absolutely think he was stupid.

Instead of berating him, Will laughed again. “You mean a cowboy hat?”

“Yes, one of those.”

“You tell me you want to learn more about Texas, then your first question is ‘do you have a cowboy hat?’” 

“Obviously.” Nico layered his voice with as much confidence as he could.

“What type of question is that?”

“Well I heard that you're not a real Texan if you don't own one.”

“Where did you even hear that?” Will grinned, his face shining with exasperation.

“That’s not important.” Nico was gaining more reassurance, as he often did when conversations like this took off between the two of them.

“I think it might be, someone here is clearly spreading false information.”

“So then you don’t have one?”

“That is not what I said.” Will shot him a look, one that said ‘be careful here or you might just get tackled’. Nico was willing to push his luck.

“Sure sounds like it, sunshine.” That luck Nico was just thinking about? Pushed.

Will scoffed, both surprised and amused. “Fine. I do.”

“You do what?” Nico blinked at him.

“Oh don’t play stupid,” 

“I simply do not know what you are talking about, Solace.”

Will grit his teeth, eyes sparkling. “I own a cowboy hat.”

“No way! Are you from Texas?” Nico gasped.

“Oh you are such an asshole,” 

“You deserve it.”

“Trust me I have gotten enough shit over that hat, my mom made me take it to camp with me.” Will sighed dramatically, “She said ‘no good country artist mother would leave her baby to fend for himself without the proper attire,’. Lee and Micheal used to bully the living daylight out of me over it.”

Nico found himself laughing at the story. He imagined a young Will, showing up to Camp Half-Blood cowboy hat sat upon his head. It was a glorious image. 

“Do you still have it?” Nico asked, still grinning at the mental image.

“Yeah, tucked under my bunk.” Will shook his head, not trying to hide the smile on his own face.

A thought popped into Nico’s head, “Oh please tell me you have those boots too!”

“Gods no!” Will cried out, the two boys nearly fell over each other laughing. “I am not that southern.”

“Maybe when you’re tired, or mad.”

“What?”

“Your accent, it’s more noticeable when you’re tired or mad.” Immediately after saying this Nico worried if he crossed the line from friend, into weird stalker.

“I do not. Have an accent.” Will’s voice was more dramatically shocked than stern. Nico relaxed a little bit. 

“Oh you so do.”

“Fine, but so do you.”

“What?!” That earned a grin from the other boy.

“Only on certain words, usually the really italian ones, you can’t help but pronounce them correctly.” Will looked smug, his eyes narrow and smirk wide. Nico couldn’t help but blush. Will had a point.

“Fine then,” He decided, “We’re even.”

“Hmph.” Will thinks for a moment, “My turn-”

“Your turn?” Nico blurts out, cutting him off.

“Yes, you asked me a question. Now I get to ask you a question.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works-”

“It is now, I make the rules.” Will cut Nico off this time, “Your clothes, the whole edgy ‘too emo for school’ vibe, is that a cabin requirement? Or personal preference?”

Nico rolled his eyes. Piper and Percy had explained to him what emo meant a few weeks before, the first time Will had called him that. 

“It’s personal preference, I think. It just matches how I feel I guess. I think I would feel like a complete loser and a total fraud in khaki shorts and an orange shirt.” Nico tried to hide his smirk on the last line.

“Yeah okay, that makes-” Will realized Nico’s attack, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh nothing, you flip flop wearing fool”

“They’re so much more comfortable, my feet overheat too much otherwise.”

“I am so sure they do.” Nico had to admit, Will’s tone did sound pretty convincing. 

“Whatever, so you just like the dark edgy clothes?”

“Yep.”

“Interesting,” Will paused for a moment before matter-of-factly stating: “I like them too.”

Nico’s face burnt red. “What?” He sputtered out.

“I said I like them too, they look good on you.” Will looked over Nico, as if studying his composure of dark wash jeans and black shirt. “It suits you.”

Nico forced himself to regain his composure, he needed to make some type of step forwards. He couldn’t keep letting Will fluster him and then run away.

“Well, I think you’d look really good in that hat of yours.” The words slipped from his mouth and nearly took the contents of his stomach with them. 

“Really?” Will asked, obviously caught off guard. 

“Oh yeah, I can see it now. It’d be great.”

Will blushed, a sight that invoked feelings within Nico that he wanted to chase for the rest of his life. Nico knew there was no turning back now. He was absolutely in over his head for this boy.

“My turn,” Nico said, not giving Will a chance to respond. “Apollo’s thing is music, right? Do you play an instrument?”

“Technically?” Will replied, still apparently recovering, “I mean I know quite a few, I’d say I’m the best at guitar out of all of them but music hasn’t ever really been my thing.”

“Right,”

“I’m not bad at it by any means but I am nowhere near as good as Austin, I guess we all have our field that we really excel in.” 

“Naturally,” Nico nodded.

“Why?”

“You always ask follow-up questions to my questions.” Nico stated, watching Will carefully.

“Does it annoy you?” Will asked.

“A little bit.” Nico was not telling the truth, Will didn’t need to know that.

“Good.” He grinned.

“Okay well, you never really lead many of the campfire songs like your siblings do, I was curious again I guess.” Nico watched the other boy's face as he spoke, seeing him think through his response, watching the words formulate in his head.

“In all honesty,” Will said, that resting smile occupying his face, “It’s because they don’t like the music that I listen to as much.”

“Is it country music?” Nico had asked this seriously, but Will must have taken it as a joke because he rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Not entirely,” He shook his head lightly, his golden hair fanning out and settling back down again, “I like a lot of midwest emo,”

Nico must have looked really lost, and honestly he was. He knew what the word ‘emo’ meant but midwest emo? Those words didn’t even have meaning. 

“I’ll explain it to you some other time” Will promised.

“You’ll just have to show me.” Nico shrugged, his false confidence from earlier still sitting in his gut.

“What now you want me to serenade you too?” Will looked at Nico, moving ever so slightly closer as he asked, his tone had a hint of challenge to it. 

“Yes.” Nico replied bluntly. “Preferably with the cowboy hat on.”

“You ask too much of me.” Will barely shook his head, eyes still locked on the boy in front of him.

“Always. But you know,” He let his eyes slip from Will’s piercing gaze down to his lips, then immediately back up to his eyes, “It would do wonders for that charm of yours.”

With that, Nico stood up. He let whatever stupid confidence was flowing within him carry him away, back down the hill, feeling as if he was floating. Leaving the son of Apollo still dumbstruck in the grass, and very slight, incredibly, impressed.

[fairy-verse]

What kind of fairy do you think Epic would be in this au?? And are him and Cross friends in it??

Epic would be a winter fairy and the one who made it bearable for Cross to live within Error’s Mountain halls. They became friends when they were both faerlings, and they’ve been close ever since. Epic is the one Cross would go to when he felt depressed and down after being with his father, and in a way, Epic’s parents would oftentimes care for him whenever he visited. There were even some nights when Cross and Epic would lay beneath the furs of Epic’s faerling nest, and they’d giggle and tell funny stories about how they’d messed up something at the forge; as they both enjoyed practicing from a very young age. They would – and still will – compete against each other in both forging and fighting, and they’ll always be up for a good sparring session of both fists and wits.

Epic feels lucky that he’s grown to be a knight/guard fairy thanks to his physical strength because then he’s able to spend more time with Cross, as fairies like him oftentimes must practice and patrol together. He’s quite fond of the black-and-white fairy, and he’s happy that Cross trusts him enough to allow him the opportunity to clean and trim his wings. He’s one of the two fairies in the world who’s allowed to do that, and he sees it as a great honour. And even though Cross has fallen in love with Dream, Epic can still cherish the fact that he’s the one who got Cross’ first kiss. It’s a memory he’ll hold near and dear until the day he turns to Stardust.

ᖭི༏ᖫྀ

Edit: I have spoken with Dii and it’s a great possibility that Epic will be changed from being a winter fairy to a spring fairy. Since his design hasn’t been created yet nothing is truly set in stone, but I’ve begun to lean more towards the idea of him being a spring fairy.

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[lucifer-kane]

im so used to surrounding myself with people who are fat/don't talk negatively about being fat (in any way) that when I see skinny people talk about 'feeling fat' im blown away and feel a bit like this

[iamrizaka]

When Luke is worried, he fumbles with his bracelet. He doesn’t even notice it.

It usually happens when Lee is away for way too long. Most of the time, it's nothing serious — just some issues at home or picking up his siblings from the strawberry picking, maybe even getting a scratch during Capture the Flag. But there were few instances when Luke genuinely thought he had lost him.

During their first winter, Lee went to spend Christmas, and New Year with his family. It would've been nothing, but he wasn't at camp when he promised and didn't answer any IMs, so Luke left to search for him. He found him far away from his grandma's house, with bruises on his neck and arms, hiding away. Luke didn't want to let him go after that.

(Thankfully, it was just bruises. He managed to escape his mother and her boyfriend's car before anything serious happened. Didn't mean that he was happy about the whole situation.)

The other time, Luke couldn't find him after the end of Capture the Flag. The only reason he found him was because someone was calling for a healer. Luke didn't leave his cot for hours, waiting for Lee to wake up.

(He just hit his head, nothing too bad. But the panic Luke felt when Lee didn't open his eyes after promised two hours were too much. And when Lee started screaming, when he wasn't seeing Luke? Absolutely painful.)

There were many times Luke was worried about Lee, and most of them were just paranoia. But he can never forget the days when it was real and he was scared and praying for his friend's life.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....