#on her problems anyway. sad! oh well there's other friends

[v-arbellanaris]

sorry to keep going on about this but im literally in shock. im "toxic" and "an intellectual bully" apparently OSJDKSDDKJFKDFJ ok.

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 13

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 3.8K+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

note | it's been so long! let me know what u think of this one. enjoy!

main masterlist | series masterlist

Maybe it was a sign.

After two years of focusing on other aspects of your life, you finally opened yourself up for getting into the dating game. But, nothing has been fruitful in these last three dates you have gone to. Or Martha is just a bad matchmaker.

Well, it’s not her fault your date cannot come tonight. Your date, Jung Hoseok, was not able to show up tonight. You had to wait for almost thirty minutes in that chair, with your ex-boyfriend in front of you with his own date, before Hoseok called to say that he was needed in the hospital all of a sudden.

“Hey, YN?” You can sense how gentle his tone is when you answer the call.

“Uh, hey.” you chuckled awkwardly, easing off the twist you could feel in your stomach. “Where are you?”

Then, you heard a small sigh from the other line followed by a sentence, “I’m on my way back to the hospital. I’m sorry.”

“Oh…”

Your heart dropped. You felt your shoulder deflating with that sad, pathetic sound you hear from a balloon when air slowly empties. Not knowing what to say, you waited for him to say something.

“I’m really, really sorry, YN. I am so excited to meet you but I got a call from the hospital and there was this big road accident. They needed me back there. I’m so sorry.” he explained.

Pursing your lips, you looked down your lap, “It’s fine, I understand.”

No second thoughts, you just replied that. You used to work in the same field as him. Of course, you know how hectic and stressful working in the hospital can be, particularly in the emergency department, where Martha said he works.

“I’m really sorry. I promise to make it up to you. Thank you so much, YN. I appreciate it so much.”

“No problem.” you hung up. You took one last sip in the cold glass of water.

Don’t look at him. Don’t look at–

Stubborn, your eyes rolled to your side, where you can see him without really moving your head. A boxy smile is formed on Taehyung’s lips while he chat with the woman in front of him. You can only see the lady’s back but you can tell that the two are having a great time with each other’s company. 

Well, at least one is having a great date.

When you became conscious of your nose flaring, you looked away and decided to go. The host instantly met your eyes, where you see the last thing you want to see from someone: an apologetic smile. You returned it with a forced smile.

“He had an emergency,” you told him with an awkward chuckle even though he didn’t say anything.

He nods as he helps you with your coat, “That’s a shame.”

“I know. My best friend even picked this pretty dress for this date.” you quipped in an attempt to lighten up the conversation. The host laughed at that. You turned to him as you fixed your beige-colored coat, “Anyway, I’ll go back here next time with him.”

You walk out of Starry Night and almost instantly, your smile fades away from your lips. You hoped Taehyung didn’t notice you leaving. Maybe he didn’t, he is on a date. Of course, he won’t pay attention to someone who left him and never showed up again after saying that she would come back to their house to talk—

Stop.

Those rambling thoughts almost suffocated you within seconds as you got lost in it, making you shake your head. Your jaw tightened before you reached for your phone. I should just go home. You click on the app to look for your ride. And within a few seconds, you spotted someone just right around your location.

“This one’s just a few minutes away–”

“YN?”

You froze, index finger a few millimeters close to touching your phone screen as you were about to book for a ride. He didn’t have to repeat your name again just so you could tell who said it. Before saying anything, you turned around. Your eyes widened while your shoulders raised, acting surprised. It was probably a lame try.

“H-Hey!” you greeted him, tone a bit higher than normal.

“I thought you were already gone.” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “Long time no see! How are you? Why are you outside?”

“Oh, uhm, I’m fine. I’m actually going home. How about you?” 

“I’m about to go too. I just came here from Seoul to meet someone,” he replied. “I actually drove coming here.”

Your eyebrows raised in real surprise, “Oh, you’re driving again?”

“Yeah, it became handy since the bakery now does ‘For Delivery’ orders. I do the delivery job most of the time.” 

You nodded in delight, “That’s really great. It’s nice to hear the bakery is growing more successful.”

You smiled, hoping that he felt your sincerity, and Taehyung replied with a small thank you.  His hands were in his pants’ pockets while you rubbed your hands together, both looking around. For a few seconds, you two waited for someone to say something.  But no one did. This invincible, empty space between you two grew bigger in a short silence. You can only hear the jazz music from the restaurant inside and the crickets which are somewhere outside tonight. 

You took that time to scan your eyes from his shoes to every feature of him you always notice. He seemed taller, maybe because of the shoes. His shoulders did look a bit broader, making you wonder if he began going to the gym again. His cheeks still seem soft but slimmer than the last time you saw him. You hope he’s been eating well, and taking care of himself. His hair did not change much. He still keeps the same length. Not too short, not too long. And when your eyes travel back to his eyes, your heartbeat stops when you realize he is looking directly back at you. In a snap, you turned your eyes away.

“So… you said you are going home?” he recalled, breaking the smothering silence.

You nodded, “Yeah, I’m just waiting for my ride.”

Liar. You haven’t even booked a ride yet. Well, you were just about to if he didn’t suddenly show up.

“Or I could just drive you home?” he offered, making you look at him.

“You’re driving back to Seoul, right?” 

“Yeah, why?” he asked, nonchalantly.

“It will take you longer to drive back home. It can take an hour,” you told him as you know how far these two cities are from each other.

But he shrugged it off, “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

For someone who just ran in with an ex unexpectedly, he seems to be handling this better than you.

Because it was just strange for you. Happy? Sad? Scared? Neither of those. Admittedly, you were surprised when you saw him inside. But now, talking to him, you just don’t know what to feel. You were never prepared for what to do when you see him again. For hell’s sake, you stopped planning this last two years. You just let things happen and never expected life would send Taehyung to Incheon while waiting for your date– Wait, date!

“But how about your date? Are you not going to drive her home?” you asked, recalling the woman he was chatting with earlier.

Why is he even here? He should be with her right now. Did he forget about her?

Expecting a different reaction, you were confused when he narrowed his eyes as he said, “Date? What date?”

Your brows furrowed, “Weren’t you just on a date with someone inside?”

“Hmm...” a tight smile formed on his lips, making you assume that you were right about him forgetting his date. But he continued, “Do you mean Ashley? She’s a client who wants to have my cakes on her restaurant’s menu.”

“Oh.”

It was like a bucket of cold water splashed over you. If you can just facepalm yourself right now without looking stupid, you would. Instead, you looked down and grimaced at your dumb assumption, remembering how you spent your free time while waiting earlier wondering and eyeing him and his date.

On the other hand, Taehyung has to bite his cheek to stop himself from smiling at your flustered reaction. He felt like what happened broke the tension that had been lingering between you and him. His heart has not stopped beating like crazy ever since he talked to you five minutes ago. His hands, that are still in his pockets, were trembling that you might notice it so he kept them there. He really didn’t think this through when he approached you. 

It took you a few more seconds to look at him again. This time, with a look he recognized from one of the photos he saw in the photo album before. It was an apologetic, guilty expression that he finds adorable.

“I’m sorry. I thought that you were on a date.”

He shook his head side by side, “I don’t– I’m not.”

He had to stop himself from saying he doesn’t date or did not date anyone ever since you two went separate ways. It may sound like he has been miserable this past couple of years– he’s not. He just doesn’t feel like putting himself out there again. Especially when he feels like he has some unfinished things from his past relationship. But he was relieved to see you here. He can tell you’re doing great.

The color, the brand, the familiar fruity scent of air freshener.

These were the first things you noticed as soon as you got in his car. You almost felt comfortable in the passenger seat since everything was almost the same as his old car when you two were still together. Even after the whole accident, he ended up choosing the same things he chose before he forgot those five years of his life.

“So… when did you start driving again?” you asked to fill the empty silence while he drove, following the address you typed in his GPS.

“Just a year ago. Jimin was worried at first but eventually became supportive,” he replied, smiling at you when he mentioned his best friend.

“It’s funny, you have almost the same car you have years ago.”

You don’t know why, but you felt like saying that. It was totally in contrast to how quiet you were about your relationship with the people you met here. You avoided talking about your past relationship with Taehyung, specifically the accident and its aftermath, ever since you moved to Incheon. The friends you made here barely know about him. They know that you were in a long-term relationship years ago but they are not aware of the accident and why you two broke up.

“Huh, really?” Taehyung kept his eyes on the road but you could tell he was interested to hear more about it. 

“Yeah, it has the same color and brand. I can even tell you the air freshener you used because you like the same ones from that Japanese brand.” you quipped, chuckling.

“Okay, what is it?” he challenged you.

You didn’t even waste a second to answer, “Air Spencer, the Squash one. But it smells like citrus. You like it because it’s strangely boosting your mood and you don’t know why.”

Taehyung laughed at that, agreeing, “And until now, I don’t know why! But I just bought it when I saw it while shopping months ago.”

“You were curious about its packaging?” you guessed.

“Yep.” Taehyung smiled. “And I think it was the best purchase I made for this car.”

You laughed at that before recalling a similar sentence from the back of your head.

“See– I mean, smell! Don’t it smell good?” 

Taehyung opened the door to his car’s passenger seat after waiting for you to finish your graveyard shift for almost an hour. When you were on your short break, you two exchanged texts and he brought up this topic: after almost a year of looking for a good air freshener. He bragged about this air freshener until your break ended since he was so sure that you would love it too, knowing that you get dizzy if he used those strong scents.

You cannot help but laugh with his childish enthusiasm, “Okay, okay! Let me take it in for a minute.”

You smiled and he watched you calmly inhaling the fresh citrus scent. Then, you slowly opened your eyes. For a thrill, you kept a plain expression on your face.

“And? What do we think?” he asked.

You raised your hand with a thumbs-up, grinning. “This one’s great! Keep it.”

“I knew it! Okay, this is officially my best purchase of the year.” he quipped before turning the key to start the car.

You softly smiled at the memory. It felt easy remembering it now and the same as talking to Taehyung about the past now. Strange. You remembered how many times you stopped yourself from talking too much about it before when Taehyung got back from the hospital.

“Can I ask something?” Taehyung said as he stopped for a red light in an empty intersection. He took the time to glance at you.

“Yeah, sure.” you shifted on your seat, feeling more comfortable now.

“What you were doing in the restaurant alone?”

You looked away as you replied, “I… I was supposed to meet up with someone.”

“A date?”

The traffic light turned green and he kept his eyes on the road when he asked that. Even though Taehyung denies it, he felt something in his gut while waiting for you to answer. There is just something in him heightening that just wants to hear a confirmation that yes, you are dating someone. 

“Yup.”

His stomach dropped as he held the steering wheel firmer.

You continued, “But he had a work emergency. So, he had to skip tonight.”

“Oh, what’s his job?

If your boyfriend prioritizes his job over you, then–

“He’s a doctor, working in the emergency department. So, I understand when he called and explained earlier.” you cut off any thought he had.

A nurse and a doctor. That seems to fit perfectly for each other.

“How long have you two been dating?”

“Oh, no. We’re not dating dating. Tonight was supposedly our first date. My friend from work set us up for a blind date. They have been trying so hard to get me into a relationship for months now after I agreed earlier this year. But so far, nothing great has been happening.” you joked as you looked outside the window.

Do you know how comfortable you must be to talk to an ex about your current status in dating?

But this is easy. 

Talking with him. Maybe because you two haven’t seen each other for a couple of years. You feel okay telling him everything. Or maybe because it was just with him. It was like you were talking with the guy you met years ago. But whatever the reason is, you prefer this whole conversation to the ones you two had after the accident.

“Well, I haven’t been in the dating scene for a long time. I am just focusing on the bakery. I already lost count of customers who want to set me up with their daughters and granddaughters.”

Taehyung brought up his own dating status after you opened up yours. You were being honest, he can feel it. And it would be unfair if he didn’t reciprocate the same thing. The fear he had to look miserable when admitting he didn’t date anyone after you faded when you opened up about your own status– without looking miserable at all. Just honest.

“Really? Why did you never get into one?” you asked.

And even though Taehyung can think of a good reason in the back of his head, he only replies with the same reply he said to everyone who asked him before.

“Eh, I don’t feel like it.”

“There. That’s my building.”

You pointed your index finger to your apartment building after Taehyung took a left turn. He looks at the white, five-floored building, sticking out like a sore thumb as it stands between high towers of buildings. He slowed down and stopped in front of the said building.  He waited for you to remove the seatbelt before calling your name. You look at him.

“Hey… uhm, The shop might have a small celebration in Seoul after the whole contract signing thing and I was hoping that maybe you can come? I’m sure Jimin would invite you too if he was the one who met with Ashley tonight. You can also bring some friends from here if you want to.” he suggested, trying to maintain his composure as he spoke.

It took you a few seconds to respond. You looked at him then looked away for a few moments. Then, looked back at him again. It lasted for only less than a minute. But Taehyung felt like it was the longest one minute of his life until you nodded.

“That sounds nice. I’ll think about it…” you replied, not really wanting to commit to a final answer tonight. “But thank you so much for driving me home.”

“No problem. You're welcome.”

You got out of the car with your purse in your hand. The cool breeze blew your hair and you had to tuck it at the back of your ear as you took one last peek down to the open window. You have this small smile on your lips that just brought warmth to his chest.

“I didn’t change my number. Did you?” you asked.

He shook his head for an answer.

“Then, I’ll reach out if I can celebrate with you guys. Okay?”

The last time you told him something about reaching out, you ended up typing and erasing letters in your phone a thousand times. But now that you two met each other incidentally, maybe you will find it easier to send him a text. 

“Okay. It was nice seeing you again, YN.” 

A faint smile formed on his lips, revealing those familiar smile lines you used to trace years ago. You reciprocated it.

“Yeah, you too. Drive safely back to Seoul.”

Turning your back, you walked to your building. You thought about how tonight was unexpected. Running to an ex you never saw for the last two years and how amicable everything between you two is, considering how you went on separate ways. Before opening the door, you turned around. Surprised to see him still there, you chuckled and gave him a small wave.

He waved back. And when he sees you getting into your building, Taehyung begins to drive away. The same smile stays on his face unconsciously. He hummed along to the pop song from the radio. Just when he was driving along the long highway back to Seoul, his phone rang. He accepted the call after seeing who it was.

“Hey, I’m on my way back,” Taehyung stated.

“Oh, okay. How was tonight?” Jimin inquired, still unaware of unforeseen events that happened.

With his head on the clouds with whom he just spent the last thirty minutes, Taehyung replied, “It was… unanticipated.”

“Huh?”

Confused, that was the only thing his best friend managed to say. That’s when Taehyung snapped out to reality.

“Oh, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. But it went great.”

“Taehyung told me everything.”

Almost two weeks after you broke things off with Taehyung and moved into your new apartment, you found an unexpected guest on your doorstep. Jimin holds a familiar box of their own bakeshop cake as he offers a sympathetic smile on his face.

“Then, Jisoo told me where you moved,” he explained further before you pushed your door wider to let him in.

You still haven’t changed from your work clothes since you only got home like ten minutes ago from your new job. You see him looking around your place and you are glad your home isn’t as messy as it was days ago. Then, he turns to you.

“I brought you this carrot cake as a gift. I know you love Taehyung’s cheesecake but we ran out of those today.” he quipped, handing you the box.

“I like your carrot cake too. Don’t worry. Thank you, Jimin.” you smiled but it slowly faded, “I’m sorry if it was too sudden.”

Your voice sounded small as you apologized. Knowing Jimin for years now, he became one of your closest friends too through Taehyung. You knew he was probably surprised too when he learned about what happened between you and his best friend. You thought that maybe he was mad too.

But instead, Jimin sighed and opened his arms for you. You sighed too before hugging him. It felt warm and comforting.

“You don’t need to say sorry. You don’t owe anyone anything,” he said. “I came by to check how are you. You’re my friend too, you know?”

And before you could answer, he spoke again, “Actually, how about we talk about this over food?”

That’s how you two ended up having a one-on-one conversation in a McDonald’s parking lot for hours. You opened up about your feelings and thoughts the last few days before Jisoo’s wedding and how you reacted after learning about Taehyung meeting Lily. Thirty-four minutes past eight in the evening, you ended up telling your side. Empty ketchup packets lay on the hood of Jimin’s car next to crumpled burger wrapping papers. You and Jimin leaned on the car.

“I just felt like we need to be apart. I’m burning out, I needed to get away. We needed to be on our own.” you exhaled.

“But what if his memories come back?”

There was never a time you thought about that question every time you felt down since the accident. It made you stay before. But you later figured out that hope is tiring you out and you cannot give anything from you anymore.

“I cannot hold on to a what-if, Jimin,” you replied. “I thought I could. But he’s in another timeline and I don’t exist in that part of his life. As much as I want to stay with him, I know that he’s still thinking of something else from his past.”

Reality hurts, and sometimes honesty too. You just sighed with how melancholy that realization made you days before deciding to leave Seoul.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just…” you looked at Jimin when he had to pause and take a deep breath to speak again. “I really hate how that accident changed everything for you guys.”

You took a sip from your Sprite, looking at a distance, “I know.”

Me too.

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RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

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PERMANENT TAGLIST

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[disfrutalakia]

Bagi and Richas talk about Jaiden (28/02/2024)

"B: Richinhas, we have one problem only... How many months has it been since that explosion on purgatory?

B: When you went to get your dad Cellbit, your aunt Baghera, what was the situation there in purgatory?

R: Explosion? 0_0 OOOHHH THAT ONE, YES

B: There on egg island

B: For me it was a purgatory, you know how it is

R: So, they were all fucked, mom kkkkkkkkkk

B: It's because, for many months now Empanada has been wating for one of her moms to come back from there

B: And I thought that she would at least come back with Cellbit and Baghera

R: Made me think I should have gone there sooner

R: OHH

R: Who? 0_0

B: Come here Richinhas

B: Did you maybe (points at a sign with Jaiden's name) saw this person there, when you went... you know?

B: Richinhas

R: Mom 0_0 hmmm

B: Oh Richinhas... Oh noo I made you sad too, come here son (open arms for a hug) Come here, come here (hugs)

B: Didn't want to make you sad, I... I just brought up this subject because it has been a very long time that Empanada has been waiting for her and I don't know if she survived

R: kkkkkkkk Not exactly sad, mom

B: I don't know if she survived son!

B: How will I tell this story to Empanada, she has been waiting for months

R: It's just

R: How do I explain kkkkkk

R: Hmmm also you made remembered me that I need to do something mom

R: Anyway, aunt Jaiden, you met her right mom?

B: I did met her, Richinhas, I did

B: I liked her wings, even though I thought she was too friendly with Cucurucho

B: That's why I thought it was weird for her to not come back with Cucurucho or something if she had gotten stuck there

R: I think if it was ON PURGATORY kkkkkk

R: Considering the state dad Cellbit was in, you maybe didn't get to met THE aunt Jaiden

B: No, I met her before all this, I met her before all the tragedy

B: I met her at the time she was friendly with Cucurucho and led a kind of normal life, she lived at that village, the girl village where Jaiden, Tina and Mouse lived, I think

R: And even I, only saw aunt Jaiden once

R: And I say that... let's say there were 2 aunt Jaidens

R: The aunt Jaiden that lost Bobby and the aunt Jaiden that left grief behind just a little bit

R: That aunt Jaiden, I only saw her once

R: And... I will miss her, you know mom? kkkkkkk

R: You know when the things that made you remember what was important for you, they look like they go away little by little

R: And you just forget

R: It's very scary

B: Ah, son

B: I know it's scary

B: The time passage everyday is scary

B: Getting older is scary

B: To see time pass and watch some people not coming back is scary

R: But aunt Jaiden won't come back

B: None of them right?

R: One of them I think died some time ago

R: And then, those 2 were left

R: But those 2 too... I guess they went away then

R: I won't do that, neither will Pom, or dad Cellbit, or aunt Baghera, but if you need to tell Empanada, promise me that all the dreams she had of one day being loved like Bobby by aunt Jaiden, keep them alive, alright? >:D kkkkkk

B: Oh go Richarlyson, everytime you break your mom by making me cry

R: Cause I have an impression that would be... I mean, that wouldn't be true kkkkkk but love is kind of unconditional

R: Like a friend would say, and well, pa Roier kkkkkk

B: Yeah

B: I'm aware their love is unconditional

R: Em will probably get very lost

R: No mom, not that 0_0

B: Oh okay! I was thinking of other side

R: But, pa Roier loves Pepito too right?

B: Of course, of course, I get what you meant

B: It's a thing I had to explain a lot to Empanada that just because Jaiden had an egg before, she wouldn't be capable of loving her

B: Because each person lives on a different place of our heart

R: Maybe she will never understand mom kkkkkk

B: I know

R: Everyday I see Pepito and I feel Pepito also thinks that sometimes, you know? But that's what pa Roier is there for, to smile and to assure Pepito that Pepito is important too

R: Then on Em's and aunt Jaiden's case... It looks like it was all a evil thing from the federation

R: But she is already gone 0_0 has been for a long time

B: Wow son, so young and you already deal with so many complex feelings so well

B: Better than me

R: Nahh

R: I don't talk, but I'm here to tell you mom 0_0

R: Above everything, just keep Em happy, ok? >:D kkkkkkkkk

B: Of course

R: Your love counts for 7 loves kkkkk

B: Hey and you, occupy the other half of my heart alright? You too

B: I take care of her and I take care of you too

B: I know you have a lot of dads but you have your mom too"

[patrophthia]

what letters? | james potter

pairing: james potter x reader

genre: miscommunications, angst, unrequited crushes, fluffy ending, not proofread

wc: 3.1k

originally posted on wattpad

"you deserve someone better," peter said in confirmation to her words (despite her tone being laced with sarcasm).

"you deserve me," sirius chirped in, smiling charmingly. she rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance, only for his grin to grow wider. "scratch that, you're too good for me love."

"you deserve prongs."

there's nothing worse than being stood up on a date. being sat there, waiting for someone who would not show up, feeling as though everyone's eyes were on you, silently judging you for your lack of luck.

it feels even more terrible when you're sat at a crowded place, people roaming around thinking they've found an empty spot only to find out that you were sat there: at a table for two or more on your own.

"guess what?" james asked, sitting down beside her in the empty booth without sparing a second thought. if he noticed her sour mood, his didn't show it.

"what?" she mumbled, amusing him.

"so you know how evans and i are partnered up for potions?" he said slowly, moving closer to her so sirius, peter, and remus could slide into the booth as well. at her nod, he continued, "and do you recall how i fancied her for so many years?"

"i think i do," she answered, feeling slightly nauseous at the prospect that maybe just maybe lily finally gave in and agreed to go on a date with him. "what about it?"

"so i was talking to her today and for the first time in forever, i didn't feel anything."

she looked at him skeptically, taking in his words into consideration. "congratulations?"

"congratulating me feels a bit pathetic," he said off-handedly, voice calmer than when he first started. clearing his throat, james leaned back to the booth as he decided to switch the topic. "so how was the date- oh."

so he did not notice her sour mood.

"he's ugly anyways," james said firmly, "he's a waste of time, you're too good for him."

it seemed as of he was stating his opinion rather than trying to comfort her, saying every uplifting thing he could think of. and before she even knew it, the other three boys joined in, trying to lighten up their mood.

she couldn't stay upset for long when their smiles were so infectious, the corner of her lips turning up as well. "yeah, yeah, i get it. that's enough, i'm out of his league. i know."

"you deserve someone better," peter said in confirmation to her words (despite her tone being laced with sarcasm).

"you deserve me," sirius chirped in, smiling charmingly. she rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance, only for his grin to grow wider. "scratch that, you're too good for me love."

"you deserve prongs."

•••

one of the things she hated most about being close to the marauders was how much they shared their life with her. being the only girl in their friend group, she was the designated person to go to whenever there were girls problems.

she didn't mind remus, peter, or even sirius when they came for advice but there was always something bothering her when james came to her. it hurt to hear him talk about other girls he wanted to go on dates with.

she couldn't understand why it stung so much, hurting to an extent that she couldn't quite describe, it felt as if it was a deep frustration kept inside of glass bottle, unable to be opened unless it was shattered. she succumbed when the pressure became to much, confiding in sirius and remus her feelings only to have them point it out. she fancied james.

she fancied her best friend.

and every guy she'd dated ever since he became infatuated with lily evans was just a ruse to distract herself from her real feelings. maybe that was why she didn't feel sad but rather annoyed when she was stood up on a date. why sirius purposely nudged her in what he deemed was the right direction when he said that she deserved someone like james.

she mustered up the courage to tell him how she felt multiple times but was always discouraged whenever he brought lily up, whenever he mentioned anything that she did and put her up on a pedestal.

lily was great, she knew that, she was friends with lily herself and the girl is nothing but an angel.

and as much as she thought that the two of them would make a good couple, she couldn't help but feel relieved when james told her he'd finally gotten over her. maybe this was the right time for her to finally make her move.

there was a knock on the door making her perk up from her seat. clearing her throat and straightening out her shirt, she called out. "come in!"

the doorknob turned, the door creaking open the slightest bit, unruly black hair peeking through the small opening, james had an hand over his glasses. "are you decent?"

with a short laugh, she answered him, "i am."

james came in, a goofy grin on his face when he shut the door behind him. standing almost awkwardly, he looked at her. "a little werewolf told me, you wanted to see me."

"i do." she can't help but smile in return, patting an empty spot besides her. james came forward, taking her invitation for him to be sat. "i wanted to tell you something."

james looked at her patiently, hanging onto her every word. "what is it?"

she gulped, running the scenario over one last time before she spoke it out loud. it was the day before the school year ended, everyone would be on their way back home tomorrow and it was now or never. she was going to tell him how she felt.

and it only took sirius promising her that if she confessed, he would take her on a book shopping spree, all expenses paid by him, even if they were hard covers. the things sirius would do for his friends to be in love.

"promise you won't be mad at me?"

james frowned, his brows furrowing. "why would i ever be mad at you?"

she huffed anxiously, looking to the side. "you might be after i tell you this."

james thought about it for a second, frown not once wavering. "i promise i won't be mad at you."

"okay," she mumbled more to herself than anything, gathering up everything she had in herself for her next words, "i like you. a lot."

james frowned deepened, why would he be mad at her for liking him?

and then it hit him, his eyes widening. she liked him unliked the way she liked sirius or remus or peter, she fancied him. "oh."

"are you mad at me now?" she asked slowly.

james shook his head frantically, denying it. "no, no, no, i promise you i wouldn't be. why would i even be mad at you?"

she studied him, trying to see if he was actually mad at her yet he was being the kind person he is or if he was being genuine. finally she settled on, explaining to him her thought process instead. "because this could potentially ruin our friendship."

"it doesn't," james murmured softly, skipping over her confession. "nothing can ruin our friendship."

•••

"hey remus," she said, clutching her landline close to her ear, "have you heard from james?"

"yeah, why?"

"nothing," she replied way too quickly for either of them to believe her. "[name]..." remus drawled out slowly, trying to get her to let up on whatever it is that bothered her. "i told him."

remus kept silent for a second, she could hear shuffling from his side of the call. "and what did he say?" he asked finally.

she cleared her throat, wondering how their phone call went from the topic of the full moon to this. it was summer break, everyone being back in their respective homes.

sirius was at his flat, his doors open for whenever she needed company. remus was back home, staying with his parents as he helped his mother with her work. peter was at a summer camp, he didn't tell them much about it and they never bothered to ask, if he was okay then it was good enough. james was on vacation with his family, going to see as much of europe as they possibly can.

ever since the break started, she had kept consistent contact with them. remus had picked up every call, answered every letter and even flooed to her house when she'd asked him to. she'd helped sirius moved into his new flat —bought with his uncle's money and even stayed with him as he settled in for while. peter wrote back as much as he could which was to say not much, but the good news was he found a kind girl named ava, he'd even had his first kiss with her.

she'd spoken to all of them but james. there was not a single word that's been exchanged between the two ever since break started. she couldn't call him so she opted on owling him, but her owl always came back empty handed. she was getting worried, maybe his promise of not being mad broke.

"nothing," she answered.

there was a hum from remus, a sense of tranquility falling between the invisible line. "he never knows what to say anyways. have you tried talking to him?"

"i have," she said quietly, "he hasn't replied to any of my letters. i've sent dozens and i haven't heard a single hello in return."

"maybe it got lost," remus suggested tiredly.

she made a sound of agreement before countering, "or maybe he doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

"no," remus dismissed, "he probably forgot to answer, you know how prongs is."

"i've got to go," she said, ready to hang up, "i'll see you on the train?"

"i'll see you then," remus said, and then just before the call ended, he added, "don't over think it, james is an idiot."

•••

"[name]!" sirius cheered the moment he saw her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder the second he got to her side. "how's my pretty girl doing?"

she looked at him with a small struggling smile, unable to carry her luggages under his weight. sirius noticed, pulling out his wand and levitating it behind them. "i'm good, how are you pads?"

"i'm as great as you are," he muttered before spotting remus, calling out for the lanky marauder to join the pair of them. remus kissed his mother on the cheek, bidding his father goodbye then turned to them with a timid smile. sirius repeated his question the second remus came within ear shot. "how's my lovely boy doing?"

"i've been better," he said honestly. sirius took his appearance in, brows furrowing when he noted that remus was still recovering. sirius repeated his spell, levitating remus' luggages behind the three of them as well. "where's prongs?"

"i dunno," sirius said carelessly, completely indifferent with how she tensed up beneath his arm. "i'm sure he's waiting for us in one of the carriages."

"or not," remus muttered, and before he had the chance to rethink his words, he blurted out, "he's probably with evans, they're the new head boy and girl after all."

they are?

james had not told her anything, not one single thing since break started and met its end. and now this?

she felt her stomach drop, every muscle in her body going weak. she froze in her step, unable to keep moving with the information in mind. he was with her, again. she knew that it was wrong for her to feel this way, james had a life, he can do whatever he pleased.

but it did not feel good knowing that neither sirius nor remus told her about this revelation before hand. not until she was to face him again.

"what's wrong?" sirius asked with worry, halting in his steps as well.

remus eyes widened, finally realizing the consequences of his own words. merlin, how he longed to dig himself into a hole right then and there.

"nothing," she answered after a while, feigning a smile. "nothing's wrong."

sirius gazed at her skeptically, disbelieving. "are you sure?" at her nod, sirius pursed his lips, accepting it for now. "let's find ourselves some seats then."

sirius led the way onto the hogwarts express, passing carriages upon carriages to try and find an empty one. eventually, he found one with an all too familiar face in it.

sat there with a big smile was james potter in all his glory, chatting to peter about who knows what. it didn't take long for him to notice their presence, smile growing wider when he stood up, opening up the carriage's door for them.

she turned, not wanting to be trapped in the same compartment as james for the next seven -eight? hours of the train ride only for her wrist to be caught before she could make her escape. glancing up at the arm, she found remus looking back at her with worried eyes.

she shook her head, silently begging for him to let go but remus didn't budge, his grip on her wrist tightened, keeping her in place. "i'm okay remus."

"please," she pleaded so quietly that he almost hadn't heard it. almost. reluctantly remus dropped his hand, letting her go. "i'll see you at dinner."

and with that she left, finding a seat on the other side of the train with her dorm mates and other housemates. her luggages were already put away and she trusted sirius enough to not lose her stuff.

"where's [name]?" asked james from his spot, her stuff was there but where was she? he hadn't seen her in so long. "she left," remus snapped, seeming as if he was ready to bite james' head off but he chalked it up as the after full moon effect. "why?"

"i don't know mate, you tell me."

•••

ignoring james potter was a hard process, the boy was loud (and obnoxious) his presence was everywhere she looked, from her classes to the great hall when all she wanted was a sandwich. "good morning."

"morning," remus said in return, settling besides her on her house table. "did the daily prophet come in yet?"

she thought about it for a second, chewing on her food. "no."

remus nodded, tiredly rubbing his eyes. "prong's asking for you."

"he is?" she asked with slight surprise.

"he thinks you're avoiding him." remus paused for a second, watching as sirius sat down opposing them. "which you are," he added pointedly, "but he wants to know why."

she opened her mouth, ready to reply when she spotted the fore-mentioned boy approaching their table. she stood up, grabbing her stuff as quick as she could and bid remus and sirius goodbyes.

"it happened again!" james exclaimed the moment he landed by sirius' side. "she didn't even say hello!"

•••

james had had enough. it had been three months and two weeks since she admitted her feelings to him and he never once had the chance to speak to her since. he didn't understand why she didn't talk to him on the train then and he didn't understand it now.

when the five of them were sat in the same room, talking within themselves. she had barely even look at him, only chatting with sirius, remus, and peter, it was as though he didn't exist.

he'd had enough, he decided, standing up abruptly. she was sat at sirius' desk, joking with remus —who was sat on sirius' bed about something james couldn't comprehend. making his way over, james cleared his throat, gathering their attention.

"why are you ignoring me?" he asked directly, ignoring the cautious looks that both remus and sirius threw at him.

playing dumb, she frowned. "i'm ignoring you?"

"don't act daft! you've have been ignoring me and you know it!" james said accusingly, "you told me you fancied me and got me all happy and confused and then you proceed to go out of your way to avoid me so please, for godric's sake, why have you been ignoring me?"

"why have i been ignoring you?" she repeated incredulously, "you ignored me first. that's why i'm ignoring you."

"what do you mean i ignored you first?!" he exclaimed with disbelief, "i haven't seen you in three months and when i finally do you won't even look at me, how is any of this my fault?"

"how is any of this your fault?" she repeated, her tone ridiculing him. "i sent you dozens of letters and you never answered! i thought you hated me!"

"letters?" james asked, "what letters?"

she scoffed, "i wrote to you. all through summer. and you never once answered. screw that, i don't care that you didn't answer because maybe they got lost since you kept on traveling but you knew where i'd be and yet you never wrote a single word to me."

"i thought you hated me, i thought you didn't want to see me anymore so i didn't see the point in wanting to see you."

james bit his lips, considering her words. "i didn't write to you because i wanted to give you space."

"when you told me you liked me i was ecstatic, i was also so confuse because i didn't understand why i felt so happy. i thought i liked evans but it's always been you all along and i didn't know how to accept that so i never said anything. i promised you i wouldn't be mad at you let alone hate you and i never was, not once was i mad at you. i was mad at myself for not realizing i loved you sooner."

"what am i supposed to say to that james." she huffed out, feeling helpless. the other three boys were listening in, watching as the drama unfolded while simultaneously silently rooting for them to get with one another, she knew they were.

"that you love me too," james suggested weakly, "i would really like it if you told me you love me too."

"i do," she admitted, "i've always loved you james."

james broke out into a grin. "so you're my girlfriend now?" he asked cheekily. she rolled his eyes, smiling at him as well. "take me out on a date first." he beamed at her, "of course, when are you free gorgeous?"

"when i'm done scamming your best friend's money for books."

—from bee: sigh jamesssss :<

[msgexymunson]

Keep Up With Me

Sub!Eddie x Dom!Fem!Reader

Description: your boyfriend breaking up with you because you're too much for him to handle might be the best thing that's happened to you. It's certainly the best thing that's happened to Eddie!

A/N: bitta angst, mostly smut, best friends to lovers, not me and my horny ass projecting again promise, I'm English excuse my language tally ho what what

Warnings: use of pet names (baby girl, sweetheart etc) reader uses she/her pronouns, NSFW, minors DNI or I'll smack you with a wet fish, F!Masturbation, lap riding, M!Oral receiving, slight M! Orgasm denial, p in v protected sex

5k words

Masterlist

You perch on the corner of the checkout counter at Family Video, legs swinging, fingers tapping on the side.

"So, apparently that makes me some sort of slut." You looked at Robin, one of your closest friends, and shrugged.

"Shit, what an asshole! So he basically dumped you because he couldn't keep up with you?"

"Yup. Sad ain't it." You inspect your fingernails, trying to come off as more aloof than you actually felt. You weren't in pain as such, not from losing that asshole, it's just his words kept ringing in your head.

Why do you want to fuck all the time? Must be some sorta slut. Are you a freak or something? What's wrong with you?

The harsh, sobering words ran through your head on a loop, wearing you down even further.

"Hey, I know that look, stop thinking about that jerk he did NOT deserve you, seriously! You just gotta find someone else, you always do." Robin stares at you, hand hovering over yours.

"That's the problem aint it. I just do this over and over. Too fricking horny for my own good!" You laugh; Robin giggles with you. "Hey there's worse problems to have!" You both chuckle for a bit, but you're still upset about his words. Slut. Freak. "Maybe I am a freak." You sigh.

"Whose a freak?"

You jump, and look around. Eddie Munson, your other best friend and long time crush, had just walked in the door. He flashed you a lazy smile, brown doe eyes creased at the corners.

"We are not talking about you Edward if that's what you think."

Eddie mimes being shot in the chest. "Oh sweetheart you wound me! Don't call me that." He pouts at you.

"It's your name, isn't it?" You poke your tongue out at him.

"Urgh, yeah, government name, but it's so not metal." He picks you up off the counter and spins you round, whilst you squeal.

"Put me down Edward!"

"Whose Edward?" He grins, still holding you, lightly tickling your sides.

"Okay Eddie please!"

He places you on your feet with exaggerated care, brushing imaginary dust of your shoulders.

Robin's eyes flick between yours and Eddie, widening and gesturing her head at you. You know she's dying to say something, but you had told her a million times, Eddie was just a friend. Sure he did shit like that, but it's like you were his little sister or something. There's no way he felt the same way about you.

"Well if you two are done flirting, I've got a job to do." You open your mouth to protest but Robin smirks, grabs a few videos and runs off like a baby deer to shelve them. looking at Eddie, you see his face is flushed. Silence for a heartbeat.

"So aren't you seeing loverboy tonight?" Eddie waggles his eyebrows at you.

"Oh I've just come from EX loverboy's house. Here to pick a horror film and pretend all the victims have his face. Oh and eat ice cream until I'm sick."

"Oh shit sweetheart I didn't know, sorry."

"It's all good, just trying to get some stuff he said out of my head. He's a dick anyway."

Eddie frowns, his brow furrowing. He knows this is affecting you more than you are letting on but he doesn't question it.

"Look, I've got a deal to do, but do you want to come over? I can drop you at mine and I'll be like 20 minutes max. I'm up for horror movies, ice cream and a joint or two?"

"Sounds good Eddie. Thanks."

"No problem sweetheart."

You pick a movie each and summon Robin from her hiding space to check them out.

"Okay you kids have fun!" She beams at you both, waving over enthusiastically.

"Robin you are such a dork." You laugh and leave, turning back to make sure the door shuts and doesn't leave a draught. Robin's still staring at you two, gesturing and putting her thumbs up. You roll your eyes and make your way to Eddie's van.

*******************************

Eddie, true to his word, dropped you off at his trailer. You were standing in his room, all alone since his uncle was at work. It was odd; you'd been here before several times, but never alone. You sat on Eddie's bed, surrounded by his smell. Laying back against the pillows you grab one and drink in the scent. Okay you've definitely crossed over into freak territory. He wasn't even here and you were obsessed; surrounded and engulfed by his scent. You felt a familiar warmth between your legs, your desire growing for him with each passing second. You hadn't even realised you had unbuttoned your jeans until your fingers met your underwear.

What the hell are you doing he'll be back any second! Despite knowing this, it gave you a little thrill to think he might catch you with your hand down your pants. Maybe he'd finally give you what you've been craving. Working your hand into your underwear, you find your clit with a gasp. You already felt wetness creeping from your folds, desire being something that seemed to run hot within you, all the time. Teasing at your clit, you run your fingertips in soft circles, building up that tingling feeling in your core.

Throwing your head back you groaned softly, increasing the pressure on your sensitive bud. You imagined it was Eddie's fingers doing this, rubbing you, teasing you into an orgasm. It definitely helped. Soon you were panting, chasing your release.

Your mind races, thinking about how he picked you up earlier so effortlessly, you thought about his strong hands holding you firmly, rings pressing into your flesh. You think about what it would feel like, his hands on you whilst you grind against him and that did it. You come undone with your own hand, your release shattering through your nerves. Laying there for a moment you gather yourself, feeling a twinge of guilt. You shouldn't be thinking about your best friend like this. Maybe there was something wrong with you.

Freak. Slut.

No time to unpack all of that, hearing the crunch of gravel outside. The front door opens.

"Hey honey I'm home!" Eddie chuckles, and you hear him coming towards his room. You quickly try look less dishevelled, wiping your hand and hoping against hope that what you just did wasn't written all over your face.

Eddie struts in, chucks his metal lunchbox on the bed and throws himself after it. You can't help but laugh at his exaggerated movements.

He lays there on his side, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Ya miss me?" He grins.

"Always." You smile at him, trying your hardest not to appear flustered.

"So, I'll roll, you pick what to watch, and we'll make a nest."

You laugh at that. "A nest? What am I an egg?"

"Just do what you're told baby girl." Jesus that's a new one. That nickname went straight to your cunt. He sits up, cross legged. "Oh and hand me those papers on the bed side table."

You bend across and grasp the papers, passing them to Eddie. For a fraction of a second he looks down and looks back up at you, face flushed pink.

"By all means get comfortable." He coughs and looks away.

You look down and realise you left your jeans unbuttoned. A small triangle of red is exposed from the front of your black jeans. Trust me to pick bright red underwear today. Flushing magenta, you try and cover your tracks.

"Shit, sorry Eddie the jeans were digging in you know."

"No worries princess, you want a pair of sweat pants? You need to be cosy in our nest" he grins at you.

"Sure, thanks Eds." 

He grabs you a clean grey pair from a drawer and you go to the bathroom to change, cursing yourself for being so stupid. When you return, sweats hanging low of your hips, he had rolled and was waiting for you with a lighter in hand.

"Shit Eddie you could have started without me."

"Nuh-uh. This is all for your benefit, and I'm a gentleman. The lady gets first toke." He reaches over once you've sat down and puts the joint in your mouth and lights it. You take a drag, holding it in for a couple of seconds, then release it. You take another, deeper toke.

"Wow this is decent." You smirk at him.

"All my stuff is decent babe."

"Oh so we aren't talking about the other week with that shit that was all twiggy?"

"No idea what you're talking about." He looks pointedly in the opposite direction. You snort at his actions and pick the first film, loading the VCR.

You both lay back, arms touching, watching the film. The joint goes back and forth, and you begin to giggle at the movie, feeling your high settle in. Laughing with each other at the ridiculous plot, you feel so much better about everything that had happened that evening. You were with Eddie. He always made you feel at ease.

Once the movie had finished Eddie started rolling another, and you ejected the film to put the next one in.

"So, you ready to tell me what happened?" Eddie asks, licking the spliff into place.

Your eyes go wide thinking about what you did in his bed. Shit, how did he know?

"What- what do you mean?"

"I mean why did lover boy break it with you? You never said."

Relief started to spread through you, then you remembered the reasons. Freak. Slut. No way you could tell Eddie that. It was too embarrassing.

"Just standard guy commitment shit. Nothing new." You try and brush it off. It might have worked with someone else, but Eddie could always tell when you are lying.

"Nope, nope. You weren't even serious, you said. So go on, tell me?" His soft brown eyes bored into you.

You started to feel hot and bothered at this amount of attention.

"He said some stuff, it wasn't nice, I don't want to go through it again."

"Did you tell Robin?"

Ooft. How did he always know?

"Okay he said some... stuff that got to me. Jesus Eddie its not important!"

Eddie strokes your arm and looks you in the eye, "if it wasn't important it wouldn't have gotten to you. I just, I want to help."

You look into his eyes and see pure love there, and it does help. You take a deep breath, and, looking anywhere other than Eddie's eyes, you explain the real reason for the break up. Eddie sits silently, listening to you recount the events. When you are done, he looks at you and begins to smirk.

"Eddie it's not funny." You scowl at him. That throws Eddie over the edge. He laughs out loud, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Feeling embarrassed, you move to get up. Eddie's hands grab your waist, holding you still.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, I'm not laughing at you I swear." He's grinning, face slightly red from his outburst.

You stare at him. "Then what the hell are you laughing at?"

He chuckles a bit, then strokes your arm, "it's just, it's like he's gotten rid of any man's wet dream, seriously. What man doesn't want a hot girlfriend who wants to do him all the time? He's clearly fucking crazy."

"You- you think I'm hot?" You stutter at him.

"Of course, look at you, you're fucking incredible. Baby girl, any man would be lucky to have you."

Part of you thinks this is just Eddie being a good friend, but the way he looks at you and the lingering hand on your hip; that tells a different story. You decide to push it a little further.

"Any man, right?' You look into his eyes.

"That's what I said sweetheart."

"So, that includes long haired, metal loving, tattooed men right?" You look up at him through your lashes.

"I mean yeah if that's your type..." you see the penny drop behind his eyes. "Oooh, Er yes, those too. Maybe lead guitarist men. Men who like to play D&D?" His voice getting higher. He tilts his head to one side, looking at you with hopeful doe eyes.

"You think there's guys like that in Hawkins?" Batting your eyelashes at him, you move closer.

"Well, I can certainly think of one or two," he says, moving one hand to the nape of your neck, stroking your skin.

"Well, give me their numbers and I'll mmmph!" Your reply is muffled as he presses his lips onto yours.

His touch is electric, the feel of his lips on yours heated. It's more than you could have ever dreamt, the passion of the kiss is something you've never experienced before.

You press your tongue into his mouth and deepen the kiss. Eddie's hand holds you by the hip, fingers pressing into your sides, rings warming against your hot skin. You need to feel him closer so you move to straddle him, but in your eagerness you manage to push him onto his back. Leaning into him, legs either side of his hips, never breaking the kiss. You caress his chest with one hand, the other moving to grab him by the waist, as if he could get any closer without being inside you.

Both of your breathing becomes laboured, desperate. You break the kiss, panting at each other. Eddie's face is a picture, he looks like he's in heaven. A stupid grin is plastered across his features.

"So I've wanted to do that since forever." He beams at you, hand moving to cup your jaw.

"Why didn't you?" You frown at him.

"I dunno, I just thought you weren't interested in me like that."

You look down at him, gesturing to how you were straddling him. "Well, I mean, you're okay I suppose..." you tease him.

Eddie thrusts up with his hips, rubbing against your clothed pussy. You feel he is hard, almost busting through his jeans, and you whimper.

"Seems I'm a bit more than okay pretty girl." Eddie smirks at you.

"Shut up Eddie." The teasing that was a daily occurrence between the two of you puts you at ease. You hold him by the shoulders, and grind your core over his hardened cock, back and forth. Eddie groans low in his throat, his eyes rolling back.

"Jesus Christ, shutting up." You laugh at him, and reach to pull your top over your head, exposing your red cotton bra. It's just plain, soft cups with the tiniest bow on the front. Eddie gazes at your chest as if it were clad in the finest lingerie. You continue to rock against him, feeling your own pleasure mount up.

"You're gonna be the death of me sweetheart" he says but there's no malice in it, just pure admiration. You smirk at him and start planting kisses on his chest, fingers feathering their way to his belt. You undo it and his jeans, yanking them down to his knees, and continue leaving hot, open mouthed kisses to his stomach. Your fingers dip into the waistband of his boxers and you look up at him for confirmation. Eddie stares at you open mouthed for a second, then nods frantically. You smile back at him and bite your lip, pulling his underwear down slowly.

His member springs out to greet you, bigger than average but what really surprised you was the girth of it. You couldn't help but feel your pussy clenching around nothing in anticipation. Licking a pointed stripe from the base to the tip, you massage his balls with your hand. Eddie's head rolled back, his eyes scrunched shut. Lowering your mouth onto the tip, you swirl your tongue around it, licking up his pre cum. Eddie's groan was borderline pornographic. You look up at him and slowly take him into your mouth, using your hands for what didn't fit. Bobbing up and down on his length, you use your tongue to massage him. You'd wanted to feel his dick on your tongue for so long, this almost didn't feel real. There was something about being in control of Eddie's pleasure that made you feel extremely powerful. You could feel his cock twitching already, Eddie was practically whimpering. You could tell he was close.

"Baby girl, shit, I can't take much more, I'm gonna-"

You pull away with a wet pop, Eddie whimpering at the loss of your mouth.

"Baby girl please please." Eddie looks a mess, his face is red, his breathing coming out in heavy pants, trying to grab at your arm, side, anything he could reach.

"Patience baby", your voice dripping honey.

You fling your sweats off and move up him, straddling him in your underwear. Not letting him enter you. Not yet. You were enjoying dominating him.

You start to grind down on his length again, making Eddie whine.

"Please-" Eddie looks at you, breathless and pouting.

"No." You smirk at him. Eddie gasps and looks at you in surprise. You continue to rub  your wet heat against him, "I was thinking about this earlier, wanted to find out what it felt like," grinning, grinding your cunt against his rock hard dick, feeling your slick drench your underwear and him.

Eddie's falling apart in front of your eyes. You unclasp your bra, letting it fall. Eddie's eyes widen and he whimpers, thrusting against you. You let out a moan.

"Touch me Eddie." He wastes no time in grabbing at your chest, smoothing rough fingertips over your hardened nipples. You feel a familiar sensation, a burning in your stomach and chest, desire building and building, setting your insides ablaze.

You increase your pace, rubbing back and forth, your wetness soaking Eddie, making him a slippery mess. You feel him twitch under you, fingers pinching your nipples almost painfully and it sends you over the edge. You cry out his name, your hands in your hair, still riding him, extending the outrageous feeling.

Eddie's hands suddenly grasp your hips, hard. You open your eyes and look down just as his scrunch shut. He comes then, violently with an exaggerated moan. His own release pebbles his stomach, your stomach, even a smattering reaches his chest. You look down at him as you come down from your respective highs, and you both start laughing.

"Well, I've never come like that before." Eddie's stroking your sides, gazing at you in disbelief.

You laugh, and get up off him, readjusting your underwear. You go to the bathroom to clean yourself off, and return with a dampened wash cloth. You kneel beside him, wash cloth hovering over him.

"You gonna help me or just stare baby girl" he smirked, poking you in the ribs, his other hand gesturing to the mess on his stomach.

"Hey, just admiring my masterpiece. Have to take a picture next time." You watch as Eddie's mouth springs open, his face turning purple. You simply hum and wipe him down, passing him the cloth to get anything you missed.

"Holy shit, I was right. You are literally every guys wet dream. Fuck. You're a-a pervert!" He points at you dramatically.

Laughing loud at that, you flop down next to him. He turns on his side and strokes your face, moving a couple of stray hairs.

Feeling self conscious for a moment, you look at him, cheeks flushed slightly.

"You don't mind then?"

"Mind? Mind?? I think I won the lottery." He beams at you and brings you in for a kiss.

"So you wont mind what I meant, when I said I thought about that earlier?" You're testing him, seeing if this could actually work. And you want to see the look on his face.

"Oh please for all that is good tell me." He practically pants at you.

You giggle, "well when you dropped me off I had some time to fill, so I might have touched myself thinking of you."

The groan that escapes Eddie's lips travels straight to your core. He envelopes you in a fiery kiss.

"Jesus baby girl, fuck!" He rubs your back, one hand snaking into your hair, pulling it. "In my bed?" You nod. "So yeah I'm hard again."

You laugh, "looks like you weren't kidding when you thought you could keep up with me," you smile smugly at him.

He pushes you onto your back in response and starts to nip and lick at your neck, leaving opened mouthed kisses in his wake.

"Oh I can keep up with you baby girl, trust me."

Then he's mounting you, the tip of his cock begging for entry.

"Someone's eager, have you got protection?"  You raise your eyebrows at him.

"Yes, God yes, please baby please." His eyes dart to his bedside table.

You push at him, smiling, teasing him, "so you're all confident until you have any pressure at all, I see. Lay back then baby."

He immediately lies on his back, quiet and unassuming, holding his cock by the base. He looks painfully hard but he's not moving a muscle, looking at you for your say so. You feel immensely powerful, gazing at him in such compliant position.

You reach to the drawer at his bedside, rummaging through.

"Oh, what do we have here?" You exclaim, pulling out a dirty magazine, folded to the centre. You cant help but notice the model's hair is just like yours.

"Hmm, she's hot I'll give you that. Kinda looks a little like me eh?" You wink at him mischievously.

He blushes crimson at you in reply.

"I, I suppose I have a type?" He shrugs, face red as a beetroot.

You can help but laugh, "I'm just flattered baby." And then you find his condoms. You pull one out and rip it from its packaging using your teeth.

"So, you gonna be a good boy?" You question, it almost being a joke but you receive a very certain "yes ma'am!" As a response.

You cant help but chuckle, "oh, so the dungeon master wants someone in control, I see how it is," and you grab the base of his painfully hard member.

"Please...' Eddie nearly drools out of the side of his mouth in response.

"Hmmm its good to hear you beg. Well I suppose I'll humour you. For now," you smirk out the corner of your mouth. You roll the condom onto his hard cock. He hisses at the friction. You line him up to your entrance, straddling him.

As you slowly lower yourself onto his hardness, he cries out at the sensation. You see his eyes screwed shut in response, his cheeks flushed pink. You already feel obsessed by the look of him as he entered you. You want to record this forever, the moment you finally got to take your crush. The moment you realised you could completely take control of him; everything you'd ever dreamed of. He's compliant, melting to your touch. You take him into your cunt until you're sitting on him fully. He's buried in you to the hilt, stretching you. Its bordering on pain given his size, but delicious in itself. It's a good pain.

You hold him by the waist, almost possessively. Searching his eyes as he meets your gaze, you see tears gathering at the edges of his eyes, flustered and fucked out already. The look on his eyes is pleading, almost praying.

"Mother of God, fuck...."

"I thought we settled on ma'am?"

"No.... definitely seeing God... baby..." it's a shadow of Eddie's usual humour.

You giggle at him, a sound seemingly innocent, considering Eddie is buried deep inside your pussy. You start to slowly move against him, bouncing up and down on his length, grinding against him every so often. Eddie's eyes roll back, he grabs you firmly by the hips, rocking you back and forth. You take a deliberate, pounding pace against him and feel your release begin to build again.

Eddie is babbling, passionately holding you as tight as he can.

"Jesus, baby girl, you feel so tight and warm, fuck."

Eddie's words of encouragement and blissed out face spur you on. You take him harder, faster, gripping onto him with your fingertips. Every thrust bringing you to ecstasy. You can feel him through every fibre of your being, deep within your core. You cry out in pleasure, the feeling of Eddie in every nerve. Moaning and writhing above him, you know you're about to cum, your walls flexing around him, squeezing his length. Eddie whimpers and you practically scream, your pleasure coming to a head, the feeling pulsating through your every limb, taking over control. Your body rocks in absolute rapture. You shake and stroke his sides as you come down.

"Fuck, Eddie, oh my God." You quiver above him, legs shaking.

"Baby, please can I get on top of you. Please." He looks up at you, wide eyes beseeching you. How could you say no to that face?

"Go on, whatever you want." You remember his reaction from earlier, " you've been such a good boy."

Eddie practically growls at that, flipping you onto your back.

He finds your entrance, slipping back into you deeply with a groan. You pull one leg over his shoulder, the other hitched around his waist and see his eyes roll back. He thrusts into you, deep and slow, planting open mouthed kisses onto your calf.

You stare at his face, one hand cupping his jaw. He's pink tinged, sweating, wild eyed.

"Hey, Eddie, baby, look at me. You're being such a good boy, taking me, using me so well baby."

"Fuck yes" Eddie breathes, his eyes now fixated with yours, grounding him. "Thank you thank you thank you." He chants as his thrusts get faster and sloppier. He grabs onto your hips, plunging as hard into you as he can, and you feel a mounting desire burning in the depths of your stomach.

"Eddie yes fucking me so well, oh God baby, I'm gonna cum so hard." Your words of encouragement send him over the edge; with a stutter and a high pitched moan he comes, shaking and gripping you tight. He continues to thrust in you though, looking at your face, brow furrowed. It must feel too much but he wants, needs you to come again. You grab him by the ass and push him into you as far as he will go, arching your back, releasing a toe curling moan as you orgasm.

You both try and slow your breathing as you move your leg from his shoulder, still quivering.

"Jesus Christ, baby girl that was... wow" Eddie chuckled in disbelief.

"Yeah? That good huh?" You smiled up at him, stroking a stray hair from his face.

"I just... if I knew you were gonna be so..."

"So what?" You frown at him.

"So... in charge! I mean, fuck that was... wow." He grinned at you, and you see your Eddie again. He rolls off you and disposes of the condom.

"What would you have done?" You smile at him, grabbing the blanket to cover yourself up.

"Well, probably just thought about it a whole lot until you made a move." You laugh at that.

"Eddie that's what happened."

"Hmmm, impeccable logic. Still, you had no right keeping this to yourself."

You laugh and throw a pillow at him. He pretends its heavy and it knocks him to the bed. He wiggles underneath it, seemingly pinned. You crawl over to him, moving the pillow, and cage him in with your arms.

"So, I'll roll, you put the movie on, and then round three yeah?" You tilt your head with the question.

"Fuck baby girl you really are gonna be the death of me. But what a way to go!"

[cursedvibes]

I think Yuuji getting through to Megumi and finding out he has no will to live anymore would've been more impactful if we saw more of him during his possession than the three panels stretched over nearly 40 chapters where he's always just lying on the floor crying.

We initially get input that he's trying to fight back against Sukuna after he was hit with Jacob's Ladder, but then he's essentially just a footnote. "Btw, Megumi is somewhere in there and he's suffering." But we don't really see it.

I think it all comes down to that the moment that really broke him, the Yorozu vs Sukuna fight, should've given him more focus and Tsumiki. If that moment really hit and we saw him give up, his lack of presence for the rest of the chapters wouldn't be such a big problem.

The Yorozu fight was really just focused on her and Sukuna and their history. You get a mention that Sukuna is doing this to break Megumi and oh no, Tsumiki would die too, but really it's about Yorozu's character and Sukuna learning to handle 10 Shadows. Everything is about them, their jokes and then as a last addition we get "oh yeah, Megumi is sad because someone who has his sister's face died". Everything is already over at that point there is no tension, we don't feel with Megumi because the focus is on other people who vaguely look like him and Tsumiki. Looks are the only real connection to the sibling drama here and I think Yorozu and Sukuna don't even look that much like them. That should've been better balanced.

Take Yuuji's breakdown in Shibuya for example. That makes him want to die as well and throw everything away. We're there with him, how he goes through briefly raised hopes to crushing defeat, how his face distorts as he sees Nanami and Nobara die before him. He's going through anger, fighting with grit teeth for as long as he can until he just curls in on himself and wants to die like his friends. We hear his thoughts, we can emphasize with what is happening. Even when he finds out what happened while Sukuna took over, we see the memories swarm his mind, he desperately clutches his head, claws at the ground, throws up. It's utterly heartbreaking. And that is because we experience it with Yuuji. We don't just cut to him lying on the floor unresponsive and that's the only feedback we get to his emotional state, not even some thoughts.

Megumi clearly saw or felt what happened while Sukuna was in control of his body (I mean, if we didn't have the editor comment like in the volume release you could also think the Bath just numbed him, but I'm not gonna be that picky here). So show him struggle during the fight against Yorozu aka the body of Tsumiki. Show his reaction to being rendered mute and powerless, unable to even lift a finger to hinder Sukuna. Show me his thoughts, he clearly has them. Show me how he eventually came to just give up and wait for death. Just something, anything. All of this I mentioned I am just inferring, we don't get to go through his emotional journey that is clearly very important to the story. All we see is the aftermath with no additional context and then nothing for another 20 chapters or so.

For that matter, show me Tsumiki, if there's anything left of her at all. That is who Megumi tries to fight for after all and she's a victim in all this too. She might've gone through the same things Megumi did, she might've experienced similar pain, but we simply don't know. What would Megumi even be fighting for? Was Tsumiki just dead or gone ever since Yorozu woke up in the hospital or did she witness what was going on as well? Was the Yorozu fight just pointless in that regard because clearly Tsumiki was long gone anyway and Sukuna is essentially just burying a dead body? This fight could've actually been quite dramatic. It claimed to be that due to Megumi and potentially Tsumiki suffering in the background, but it was in the end completely inconsequential. Sukuna and Yorozu would've fought anyway, if Megumi and Tsumiki were there or not, and Yorozu would've always lost. Since except for some throwaway lines and the end panel there isn't really any acknowledgement of the emotional stakes, they fall completely flat. It's about Yorozu and her understanding of love and also a bit about Sukuna's backstory and all this is nice and interesting, I certainly enjoyed it, but this should've laid the groundwork for what is happening to possessed-Megumi as well.

Same with the Gojo fight. Was Megumi effected at all by seeing Gojo there, was he affected by what Gojo said, his disregard for Megumi's body that made Yuuji and Hana question if he even cared? Did he feel anything when Gojo died? Was he still capable of sensing what was going on outside at all or did he sleep through all that. For that matter, how did those 5 Unlimited Voids affect him? His brain should be toast by all accounts. Did he blame Gojo for anything? This could've added some much needed emotional stakes and depth to the Gojo vs Sukuna fight, but again, we don't see anything, just a repeat shot of Megumi crying on the floor.

Megumi went through some pretty significant character development and I assume that is going to go even further now that Yuuji has made contact, but that all happened off-screen. Especially "Tsumiki's" death and its impact should've been shown to lay the groundwork for what happens now. All we got so far is: what happened made him sad. Like yeah sure, I can imagine, but can't we get more than that? That's like skipping the majority of Shibuya except for Nanami and Nobara's deaths and then going right to Yuuji lying on the floor and Todo giving his inspirational speech without showing us even a hint of all the struggle and emotional turmoil Yuuji experienced in the meantime.

I'm not even a Megumi fan, it's just something I noticed while reading. Honestly, the last 30 chapters or so I pretty much forgot about Megumi. Yes, I want Yuuji to save him, but as for Megumi himself my thoughts were always just "well, I guess he's doing badly, who knows". It was all very abstract and hypothetical when it didn't need to be.

[happy74827]

Lucas Lee x reader fluff✨️ I'm sad there isn't a lot of fanfics of this himbo..

Tough Guy

[Lucas Lee x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: When Lucas Lee confronts you and a friend on set, things take a turn for the worst.

WC: 1894

Category: Fluff, Protective!Lucas

Honestly, I’m sad there’s not a lot of fanfics with any of the exes. Gideon seems to be the most popular out of the bunch, but even then he’s still low and the other 6 deserve a lot more hype.

But, anyway, this anon was so real for requesting Lucas because I absolutely adore him (the series did him SO RIGHT). So, hopefully, I did him right here too :)

『••✎••』

“Hey, Bucko!”

You turned around at the sound of that voice. It was loud and obnoxious, as usual, but you could never help but grin when you heard it.

That was, after all, the voice of Lucas Lee.

Lucas Lee was your current colleague on set. He was in the big leagues, an A-lister, a celebrity. The two of you had only just met a few weeks ago, and since then, you had both taken quite a shine to one another.

It wasn't surprising to you. You have always had a way with people, especially famous ones. Maybe it was your personality. Or maybe you were just so used to them by now that nothing fazed you anymore. You were currently on set for a new movie, and you had already worked on two other movies and one TV series with big names before this.

But Lucas Lee? Oh, he was different.

Maybe it was because you were the same age. Maybe it was the fact that he had such an easygoing personality.

Maybe it was how hot he was.

Yeah, he was totally hot. You didn't like to admit that. It was embarrassing and cliché and unprofessional and-

No, who were you kidding? You totally thought Lucas Lee was hot.

It was hard not to, really. The way he smiled, the way he talked, the way his eyes seemed to be laughing even when his mouth was. Not to mention, the boy was tall and buff as hell. You had no idea what kind of workouts he did, but they were definitely paying off.

You were so engrossed in your thoughts you didn’t realize how he stormed over to you and your friend until he was standing right in front of you, hands on his hips.

"Um, hi," you said, smiling shyly at him.

He didn’t bat an eye towards you. Instead, he looked down at your friend. "Is there… a problem here?" he asked.

It was then you noticed his posture, how he was practically towering over your friend, who was now shrinking back, trying to look small.

You frowned.

What was going on?

"Well, I-" your friend started, but he was immediately cut off.

"Listen, dude, I'm a professional, you know," Lucas said, a dangerous tone to his voice. "I've been doing this for years, and I don't appreciate a little no-name rookie trying to hammer down on my girl like that."

"Wait, what?" you said.

"Your... girl?" your friend said.

You and your friend glanced at each other before looking back up at Lucas, confused.

Lucas, though, didn't seem to notice the looks on your faces or how you had spoken.

“You don't think I know your type? Harassment. That's what it is. Harassment pure and simple. And it's not gonna fly, you hear me? You've been warned."

You looked at him, your eyes wide, and your mouth open, too, but nothing came out. You had no idea what the hell was going on.

And then, you watched as your friend took a step forward. "Wait a second, dude. I wasn't harassing her," he said. "She's my friend, I was just helping rehearse some of her lines—”

Lucas interrupted him. "You were touching her arm."

"I was just—"

"And she was looking down."

"Yeah, but—"

"She was obviously uncomfortable!"

“Actually, I wasn’t…” You tried to say something, but no one heard you.

"Dude, she wasn't looking down. She was looking at the script!"

"So, what? Are you calling her a liar?"

Lucas was glaring at your friend. His expression was fierce, and his muscles were tense, his fists balled up tightly. He looked like he was ready to punch someone. It was a scary sight, to say the least.

You could feel the tension in the air, and your stomach twisted in knots. This wasn’t good.

Your friend, though, didn't back down. He stood up straighter, looking Lucas in the eyes.

"I'm not calling anyone a liar," he said calmly. "I'm just saying that maybe you should check your facts before you accuse someone."

Lucas growled.

"Listen, punk," he said, jabbing a finger into the other man's chest. "I have a reputation to uphold, you know. People rely on me. I've got fans. I can't afford to let people like you ruin things for me. So, why don't you just take a hike, alright?"

"What are you gonna do if I don't?" your friend challenged, and your stomach sank.

Shit.

"Guys, come on. Let's just—"

"What did you just say to me?"

You knew Lucas had a temper; you’ve seen it once before on set—valid reasons, of course. You understood where it came from, and you understood his passion for what he did. But still, his temper was scary, and it didn’t help to notice he was even angrier than usual now.

"Lucas, listen," you started, placing a hand on his shoulder. "He didn't mean it like—"

You gasped as Lucas shoved your friend hard.

"Lucas!"

The shove made your friend fall back, landing on his butt. It was quite ironic, really, considering his height. He wasn’t small by any means, and yet Lucas had just made him look like a small child.

Still, it was a sight you were not happy to see.

"What are you doing?!” You practically screamed at him. “Are you insane?!"

"Stay out of this," he said, not taking his eyes off of your friend. "This is about honor. Respect.”

“Respect… I— What?!” You sputtered, completely baffled.

Your friend had gotten to his feet, looking absolutely pissed. He took a step forward, glaring daggers at Lucas.

"You're gonna pay for that, you bastard!" he spat, and Lucas smirked.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try."

“Alright, enough! That's it!"

You stepped in between the two men, blocking them from each other's view. Your arms were spread wide, and your eyes were darting between the two.

"Both of you are being idiots!" you yelled. "Lucas, why are you acting like a caveman? And you, I can't believe you're stooping to his level!"

"I'm the idiot? What about him?" your friend pointed an accusatory finger at Lucas. "He's the one who started this whole thing."

"Oh, sure, blame me, why don't ya," Lucas sneered.

"Both of you, shut up!"

They both turned their attention to you.

"Look," you said, sighing. "I'm sorry, but this is completely ridiculous. Lucas, why did you even go after him? What was that about?"

"Yeah, why'd you do that?" your friend echoed, a smug look on his face.

Lucas huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's none of your business."

"Yes, it is," you argued. "You attacked my friend, Lucas."

"I wasn't attacking anyone. I was just defending your honor."

"Honor?"

Your friend scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Right. That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

Lucas glowered at him. "Watch it, buddy. I'll deck you again."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"GUYS!"

Both men stopped, turning to look at you.

You glared at the both of them.

"You," you pointed at Lucas. "Need to learn how to keep your cool. This was totally uncalled for. And you," you pointed at your friend. "You need to learn how to walk away from an argument. You're not a little kid. Don't let him bait you like that. Okay?"

You waited for them to answer, but neither of them spoke. They just kept looking at you.

Finally, Lucas was the first to speak.

"Okay," he mumbled, his voice low.

"Yeah, whatever," your friend replied.

You let out a sigh and placed a hand on your hip.

"Good," you said. "Now, Lucas, can you explain to us why you went after my friend?"

You saw his hesitation. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot, and his hands were balled up in tight fists.

"Well..."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Well?"

He looked at the ground, kicking his foot against the floor. The skateboarder in him was showing, you noted.

“I was over there, drinking my coffee, and I heard what you were talking about, and I thought you looked uncomfortable, and I... I guess I just lost my cool, alright?"

Your friend looked at him, confused.

"Wait, you were eavesdropping on us?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping!"

"That sounds like eavesdropping to me."

"You little-"

"Lucas, stop," you snapped, and the blond stopped, glaring daggers at your friend.

Your friend just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, dude," he said, shaking his head.

"Lucas, look," you said, placing a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it soothingly. He seemed to relax under your touch, and you felt a surge of pride.

"I appreciate you standing up for me," you continued. "But you can't do stuff like this. Okay? It's not right. You could get in trouble or, worse, fired."

He scoffed at that but nodded. "Yeah, right," he said.

"I'm serious," you said. "If something like this happened, you could be kicked off the project. And then what would we do? Who'd play the lead role with me?”

He didn’t say anything. He just looked at you, his blue eyes boring into yours. There was something unreadable in them, and it made you nervous.

"Lucas?"

He sighed and looked away. "I know, I know," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Promise me you won't do anything like this again."

"I promise."

You smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Good."

"What about me?" your friend piped up. "Am I free to go now?"

"Yeah, whatever," Lucas waved him off.

Your friend glared at him.

"Whatever," he mocked and turned on his heel, leaving the two of you alone.

Lucas watched him go before turning his attention back to you. His blue eyes were bright, and his lips were curled in a small smile.

"I'm totally hotter than him anyway. No competition," he said, his voice low and husky. It made you chuckle.

“Well, that's debatable," you replied, giving him a sly wink.

"Maybe a black eye would fix that," his tone gave it away that it was a joke, but his body language said otherwise. He was tense, and his knuckles were white.

"Lucas," you warned.

He held up his hands in defense.

"I'm joking, I'm joking," he said. "Don't worry. I'll leave the guy alone."

"Good."

"In my defense, it really did look like he was bothering you. I wasn't totally crazy."

You laughed. "No, you were. Totally crazy. You know, they say you're the cool, collected, bad boy of the big screen, but I don't know. You're more like the hotheaded, passionate, and protective bad boy of the big screen. Or even the small screen. Whatever the case, you're not exactly what the media paints you to be."

Lucas shrugged.

"It's the same old, same old," he said. "People always seem to be so fascinated with me. I can't blame em', really. I'm a pretty interesting guy."

"Oh, yes, definitely. The most interesting man in the world."

"See? You know it."

The two of you laughed, and the tension that had been hanging in the air was now gone.

You were glad. It had been an awkward moment, for sure, and you would have to make sure your friend didn’t sue Lucas since that could get the production on halt or even canceled. But it was over now, and all was well.

For now, at least.

[ningningsdream]

the villain in your story | part fifty

word count: 0.9k

"what's up?", jaemin's voice reached your ears as his arms wrapped around your waist from behind.

"oh nothing.", you lied, quickly putting your phone away.

after tweeting that picture of jaemin, you scrolled through your feed to catch up with whatever you missed and saw jiwoo's and lia's tweet about dresses and a wedding. you started wondering if it was the same one as the one you were attending. it wouldn't be that far fetched since they were also friends with your ex back in high school and if he invited you, he probably invited them as well. if you weren't sure about going at first, you were even less now. all your problems would be reunited in one place.

"you're doing it again.", jaemin said, snapping you out of your thoughts. you turned around to look at him, face full of confusion, "you're pushing me away."

jaemin let go of you to walk to your couch, hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly slumping.

"i'm sorry.", you sincerely apologized.

"you don't have to. i don't want you to feel pressured to talk to me about things you're not comfortable talking to me about. but i hope that you, at least, talk about it to someone. whether it be jimin, minjeong...or even hyuck.", jaemin tried not to sound too defeated but you caught on the insecurity in his voice, especially when he said donghyuck's name.

"it's not you, really.", you settled on the other end of the couch with a sigh, "i don't talk about my problems unless someone really pushes me to do so. i usually bake until i forget about them."

jaemin frowned at your statement, he wondered how many hardship you've kept to yourself during your life so far and especially recently since you've baked non stop.

"but i've gotten better. back in highschool, i sometimes went to jiwoo and lia when i needed comfort, without really telling them that i needed it or that anything was wrong. now, i can sometimes manage to talk to jimin, minjeong and hyuck if i feel the need to but this... this is just too much. i can barely process anything myself, so talking about it..."

"hey, it's okay. take your time.", jaemin's soft gaze never left you as he reached out to take your hand.

"it's just that the whole thing with jiwoo was already hard to handle. i felt like i was betraying her but at the same time, i was mad at how she handled things. then, my ex showed up out of no where? inviting me to his wedding as if he didn't tell me a few years earlier that he'd never want to get married, but turns out he just didn't want to get married to me, i guess. i don't even know why i feel like this, it's not like i'm still hung up on him. i'm not sad, nor jealous about the fact that he's getting married. i don't want to marry him. but there's this feeling as if something was heavily sitting on my chest, and i can't breath and it just spread all over my body. and added to all of that, lia, who just came back from visiting her family abroad, texted me to defend jiwoo as if her life depended on it, making me feel even worse. it was just the last straw, i completely broke down. i still feel bad about taeyong, johnny and you witnessing it, though."

"we were more worried about you than anything else."

"and i'm sorry, to you, because you deserve so much better than all of this.", you said, waving your arms around.

"hey, now, don't start saying ridiculous things.", jaemin said, putting his hands on your shoulders and looking at you in the eyes to make sure you heard him.

"no but, it's the truth. you've done so much for me and given so much while i've barely given you anything in return. i keep pushing you and everyone away when things get too much. the worst is that i'm aware of it, but i keep doing it anyway..."

"y/n, i don't expect anything in return. i know it takes longer for some people to open up than others. i'm part of the people that can open up pretty easily when i'm comfortable with someone but i know everyone is not like that. i'm willing to wait as long as you'll still want me to. sure, i'm kind of sad when i feel like you're pushing me away, but i get it. and what you're doing right now is already a lot. don't worry."

you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving him a hug you needed, "thank you.", you tightened your arms around him, half your body laying on the couch as you just launched at him for the hug, not really moving your butt from where it was on the couch.

jaemin just smiled and chuckled at your position before putting his hands on your waist and pulling you closer to him, then adjusting his position so you could both be laying on your pretty small couch - at least for two people. he wrapped one arm around your waist as his other hand was gently playing with your hair. your arms went from around his neck to around his torso as your ear pressed against his chest. jaemin's heart was beating really fast - as it always does in your presence - but he wasn't afraid of you hearing it. in fact, he hoped you could so you'd know how you made him feel.

main masterlist | tviys masterlist

pairing: fem!oc x barista!jaemin, fembarista!reader x barista!jaemin

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, barista!au, sns au

summary: girls' code prevents you from liking the guy your friend likes right?

a/n: i wonder how i managed to write such a green flag!jaemin wtf

taglist: [@glamourizz @rinrinslovebot @beomibeom @moonjobf @hiqhkey @calssunflower @donghyuckster @vianna99 @kookiedesi @baehaechannie @nshimura @thiccfullsun @dear-dreamie @neobowlingshoez @jjaehmins @liliansun @bythe8 @hyuckrec @dearlyminhyung @ohmygs-blog @hoeshi17 @wonupuppy @shan-oldham @jeongintwt @renjunoya @najm00 @sukistrawberry @goldryush @000rpheus @sfthyuka @mxnhoeuwu @dandelionxgal @vanillainverse @niaalove @igotkpoops ]

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[versegm]

What the fuck is up with Mashmorgan

Someone on neocities asked me to explain the appeal of Mashmorgan in a single concise post. Well I did it lads you've got your single post. It's also 1500 words long but that's not my problem. A lot of it is stuff I've already said in scattered posts/fics, so if you follow me this will not be any news for you, but if you ever need to redirect someone to an explanation of this ship you can direct them to this post. Also fair warning this will be incomprehensible without knowledge of lb6. This is by design.

Anyways. Enjoy.

The most basic shit about Mashmorgan is: Mash and Morgan spent a long time together. So long that Mash starts considering herself a part of the Fairy Calendar over the Queen's calendar (see: Totrot having to remind her "you're not the only one who remained, you're the one who is going home! You were never meant to be here in the first place.") Furthermore, Mash and Tonelico didn't just hang out. They were good fucking friends! Tonelico trusted Mash enough to tell her that Tonelico is, in fact, a ball of rage and ressentment wrapped in a savior skin (which is a big deal considering Tonelico lies to Fucking Everyone about her true feelings on things.) It's important to note that the ONLY time Morgan ever smiles during the entire lostbelt is with Mash ("Sure! We did our best, didn't we?" while sending Mash home.)

Speaking of, the fact that Tonelico sent Mash back in the present at all is very telling of Tonelico's feelings for Mash. The excuse she gives Totrot is "well I wanna recruit Mash later," but that's very obviously bull; Tonelico's last conversation with Mash makes it very clear that Tonelico expects them to be enemies later on. Besides, how can you recruit someone you know for a fact you won't remember? Morgan has zero reasons to send Mash back to her own time. She knows she's shooting herself in the foot by doing that. She KNOWS that Mash will turn out to be an enemy. But she's sending Mash back anyways. Because it's the right thing to do? Because it wouldn't be fair otherwise, and Morgan values fairness above all? Because Tonelico failed to save Uther, but she could still help one friend on this bitch of an earth? You tell me.

Now that's our basis to read Mash and Tonelico as exes, or people who pined for one another, or just very close besties, whatever you want. Which means we've now a wonderfully tragic romance (or friendship if that's your thing, but I feel like romance makes it tasties) of two people who do love each other but cannot stand by the same side because of widely differing ideals. Adding to that the dramatic irony of Mash and Morgan never knowing each other at the same time- Tonelico knows who Mash is, Mash doesn't know who Tonelico is. Mash knows who Morgan is, Morgan doesn't know who Mash is.

Mash still holds Tonelico's memory close to her heart- Tonelico (the summonable one) has a line mentioning that though she has no idea who Mash is, Mash keeps looking at her with sadness. Furthermore, while Morgan changed a lot from her Tonelico days, Mash still knows the woman pretty well- when asked if she's willing to fight, she responds "well yeah I know the gal she won't give up without a fight."

Obviously, Morgan doesn't remember Mash. But she still holds the knight in high regards; in the Fairy Cup event, she mentions that "oh lol you guys had Mash with you no wonder you guys turned out fine." Additionally, when you barge in her throne room early lb6.2 to ask her about Mash, Morgan does not remember that name, but she does react to the description of Fairy Knight Galahad. She doesn't remember Mash, but even without her memories something still echoes in her about it.

So that's all our canon basis to go wild. What are the roads we can explore with this ship then?

For Tonelico/Mash, there is obviously a "doomed romance" angle. Whether they're lovers who can't go anywhere, or people pining unwilling to start something at all, the fact is: this romance is doomed, and they both know it. They're from different worlds and times. Mash going home implies Tonelico's failure. This love cannot change anything, but it mattered that it was here.

For Mash/Morgan in lb6, there's the "lovers to enemies" angle. As I said before, they're clearly both still fond of each other on some level. But that's not enough. They both stand on either side of that war, because they each want to protect different things. The agony! The pain! Delicious. Of course, the most tragic part of this is that Mash didn't even get to kill Morgan herself. All of this, and they never got the catharsis of battle at the end. (I should add that I'm a firm believer of the inherent eroticism of homicide.)

Less obvious, but an aspect of their dynamic that I find really interesting is that... Mash is someone who is constantly asked by various nonhuman people for understanding. Goetia, the Lion King, Beryl, all asked Mash to understand their pov and goals. Because Mash, as a homunculus, fundamentally stands at the edge between human and nonhuman. She's legitimately these people's best shot at being understood. But through this pattern, Morgan is noticeably the one person who never asks for understanding. She explains herself, but that's it. What she does ask of Mash, however, is to find a good reason to fight Morgan. Cuz Tonelico just endured 3000 years of the most senseless and brutal violence- she’s just fresh out witnessing her attempt to save Britain being destroyed on a whim. The only thing Tonelico asks is for their fight to actually have meaning for once. Don’t face me just because I’m mildly inconvenient to you. Face me because you are striving for your own star. That, I will respect, and should you succeed in defeating me- I will be fine with that. (Also because Morgan long gave up on being understood, so she's not even trying with Mash, which is why I think it fucks that despite Morgan being a fucking brick wall, Mash still manages to know this girl better than most.)

Post-lb6, on Mash's side, this ship is a case of "this girl I used to love changed a fuckton, but also She's Still Here." On Morgan's side it's "I do not know who you are, but my body does remember you and it's fucking weird." And both these things are haunted by the ghost of "Oh christ we fucking killed each other. We can never go back to who we used to be. How do we build a new relationship after All This Shit? What if she forgives me? What if she doesn't?"

Additionally. Morgan is someone who fundamentally believes herself to be evil. That's why she's always like "ohh I'm a wretched witch I do this because I'm selfish teehee." It's a Sakura behavior, she's rationalizing the bad shit happening to her as "well I was evil anyways so I deserve it." Veering into headcanon territory now, but I think Morgan would see Mash as her total opposite, someone who embodies the good in this world- she's fucking fairy knight Galahad, the purest of the round table. So it's also cool to explore Morgan thinking she's unlovable struggling to understand why Mash would be interested in her. Possibly worried about corrupting Mash too, historically things have never turned out well for people close to Morgan.

Ok this is all my thoughts that have actual canon ground. Now back to making shit up. I think Mash should get to be fucking deranged about Morgan. Mash has lost MANY people since the beginning of the story, but that trauma is shared with Guda. Morgan's however is her trauma and hers alone she ain't got no one to relate. I think it would be a great way to showcase her character development, from someone who struggled to understand Mozart's "yeah humans suck but that's why I love them!" to someone who can be incredibly Not Fucking Normal in her grief. AND that means you get neat Beryl parallels as well. Mash sees her own behavior as something reminiscent of Beryl's, and feeling SO bad about it, but what is she supposed to do? She's lost so much so fucking much can't she just have something to hold onto for once? Something more tangible than a memory? Anyways I think Mash should get to mishandle Morgan's corpse SO fucking bad.

Anyways. Say whatever about lb6, but Morgan did successfully save one thing in Fairy Britain. She did successfully save Fairy Knight Galahad.

[pensat-i-fet]

Attention seekers (Pedri x Reader)

**I got this request and my writer’s block suddenly disappeared. Funny that, right? 👀🤷 Anyways, the story is set in lockdown-ish times but that isn’t the plot but what kickstarts the plot. Hope you guys enjoy it!! ❤️❤️ **

Word count: 3115

Masterlist

Wattpad

“So it’s cancelled? Yeah, I get it. Hopefully, you won’t feel too bad. See you soon”.

You hung up the phone feeling so annoyed by the change of plans. After all the months of lockdown, it was possible to travel again and you had planned a trip with your uni friends. But now one of them tested positive and both she and all the others had to stay home. You didn’t see them since your exams were done, so you knew you were fine but…what were you going to do for your holidays now? Your family was going on a cruise with some friends of the family and you couldn’t think of a more boring plan.

“What’s wrong, princess? You look sad”, said your dad when he saw you sitting down, phone still in your hand.

“My holidays have been cancelled because all my friends have to quarantine. I guess I’ll stay here. There are worse places to be”.

“Come with us. There’s room for one more”.

“I don’t like cruises, dad. Besides, you’re travelling with people I don’t even know”.

“Nonsense”, he said, and you could tell he was not going to change his mind. “You know them. We used to be with them all the time”.

“Yes, when I was a baby. I don’t remember any of it”.

“Well, they are great so why don’t you come with us to Barcelona to see them and then if you don’t want to go on the cruise, you can come back here and be all alone. But give it a try”.

“Ok”, you said, rolling your eyes. It wasn't as if you had better plans.

                                       **

A lot of the stricter restrictions had been lifted, but you still needed to quarantine before travelling abroad. So the families’ plan was to stay at the house of one of the kids in Barcelona since that’s where the cruise will be leaving from. It was apparently big enough for all of you because he was a rich football player now. You couldn’t care less about those things.

“I can’t believe you don’t remember Pedri”, said your mum.

“I do”, laughed your sister.

“Well, you’re older…”.

“Yes, and I also remember because you two were so funny together. You were either throwing things at him or trying to kiss him”.

“Don’t say that in front of him”, you told her but her smirk told you she was going to tell him the moment she could bring it up.

“I’m sure you’ll get on well, honey. He’s a great kid and so is his brother”.

You nodded at your dad’s words, already bored of hearing so much about Perfect Pedri. It was going to be a long trip for sure.

When you got to his house you couldn’t lie and pretend you weren’t impressed. He really was doing well. And also, a big house meant it was easier to avoid people you didn’t want to see so it worked for you.

After all the greetings and all the “oh my God! I can’t believe how tall and pretty you are!” comments, you excused yourself to your room. People never realised how shy you actually were and being surrounded by strangers, even if they weren’t completely strangers, wasn’t so easy for you. Plus the heartbreak of missing out on your dream holidays with your friends was still too recent.

After a little nap, you decided to head to the kitchen to ask when dinner was going to be ready and if they needed any help. But the moment you left the room, you bumped into a body and your phone fell to the floor.

“Sorry”, said Pedri, reaching for your phone and taking a quick look at the screen before giving it back to you. “Carlos? Is that your boyfriend?”

“No. Give that back”.

“Sure. I was sent to tell you dinner will be ready soon”.

“Ok, thanks”.

You tried to move but he got in your way. What was his problem?

“I remember you”.

“I don’t remember you”, you said back, trying to walk again but he was still blocking the way.

“Our parents got the photo album out. You would like to see some of the photos. There are a lot of just you and me. It looked like we were good friends and seeing them made me remind you”.

“Great! I guess my sister already told you about me hitting and kissing you. Glad I wasn’t there to be embarrassed”.

“Kissing me?”

Crap.

“Let’s go eat”.

You managed to leave that uncomfortable conversation and made your way downstairs, trying to remember the way to the kitchen. The last thing you needed was to get lost.

“You were nicer in my memories”.

                                            **

Being stuck at home was a familiar feeling for everyone now but when it was someone else's house…

"We could go read in the garden", offered your sister.

"Sure, let me pick up my Kindle".

Everyone else was also in the garden, of course. You walked past Pedri and Fer and saw they were playing football.

"Doesn't he get bored of kicking a ball all the time?", you asked your sister but it was Pedri who answered.

"No, I don't. Do you want to play with us?"

You looked away, shaking your head and heading to the chairs where you could do some reading.

"It's like a reversal of what used to happen", said Fer, laughing at his brother's expression.

"What do you mean?"

"As kids. She was always following you around and trying to get your attention. Now it's you doing that".

"I'm not doing anything. Just trying to make her feel welcome".

"I saw your face when she got here yesterday. You didn't believe me when I told you how pretty she was…but now you do and want some of her attention".

"Whatever. Besides, she has a boyfriend".

"She does? Her parents said she didn't".

Pedri thought about the messages he saw on your phone when he picked it up. Whoever Carlos was, he was definitely flirting with you and you were flirting back. So boyfriend or not, you had your eyes on someone.

"I thought we were going to read".

"Huh?"

"You're glued to your phone. Who are you talking with?"

"No one", you said. Because you weren't, really. You were just checking if Carlos had answered any of your messages but he hadn't.

He had tested negative and you offered to go back to Castellón to be with him but ever since you said that…silence.

"Is it Carlos?"

"Just leave it! Stop getting in my business!"

You didn't want to raise your voice but your sister was always trying to get you to talk about everything. And you didn't like that. The more people tried to pry into your life, the less you wanted to share any details with anyone. Why couldn't they understand you would talk when you felt comfortable?

When you got to the kitchen, you bumped into Pedri again.

"Are you following me or something?"

"What? I was getting an ice cream from the kitchen. Do you want one? It's getting really hot".

You shook your head, walking into the kitchen when you noticed him grabbing your arm to stop you.

"You don't have to run away from me. I don't bite".

"I guess you are used to the fangirls following you everywhere but I'm not doing anything because of you. I just want to be alone".

Pedri was getting annoyed by the way you treated him.

"Have you seen my sister?"

"Yes, she went inside after letting me know again how much she dislikes me".

"Why would she dislike you?", asked your sister, surprised he was saying that.

"She barely looks at me when I speak to her, always being so…I don't know, arrogant and cold".

"Don't take it personally. She's really shy and struggles with new people".

Pedri nodded. He guessed that made sense.

"And…she wasn't supposed to be here. She was going on a trip with her friends but one is sick and the rest are quarantining. And the guy she likes is a dick".

That caught his attention. "Is he?"

"Yes. He's always leading her on and then stops talking to her for weeks. Until he's bored again and wants some attention. But if I try to tell her she gets mad at me. Like she's right now. And also, she had a bad experience with a football player".

"When? What happened?"

Your sister laughed again, remembering how mad you had been. "She's studying to be a journalist in Castellón and got to do an interview with a Villarreal player for an assignment. He was…well, asshole doesn't begin to cover how he was. So her opinion of you guys is a bit tainted".

Pedri nodded, noticing his ice cream was starting to melt and used that as an excuse to go back to the garden.

He didn't expect you to be so complex. Thinking you were just being bitchy to him for no reason was easier but now he was intrigued. And not just because you were pretty like his brother said.

                                          **

[You]: do you know if you're going back to Castellón or not yet?

You didn't expect an answer from Carlos, seeing the last 5 texts in the conversation all came from you and he had left you on read all 5 times.

[Carlos]: can you Facetime?

[You]: yes!!

You ran to the bathroom quickly to check how you looked before running back to the bed to answer his call.

"Hey! How are you?"

"Been busy. You?"

"Bored", you laughed. "Can you save me from going on this boring cruise, please?"

Carlos didn't have time to say more before you heard a knock on your door.

"What?"

"We are going shopping", said Pedri. "Do you need anything from the supermarket?"

"I don't know. I'm busy now …".

"We are leaving now. Don't complain later about us getting the wrong milk or whatever".

"Who's that?", asked Carlos.

"The guy who owns this house, he…", another knock. "Pedri! I'm on the phone. Leave me alone!"

"Pedri? Like the Barça player".

"Not like", you said, rolling your eyes. "The Barça player".

Carlos' face annoyed you. He was looking at the screen as if you were stupid.

"Sure. You know famous players and stay in their houses. Right".

You got up and walked to the door, opening it and finding Pedri there, waiting.

"Look", you said, pointing the camera at him.

"Who's that?", tried to ask Pedri before Carlos lost it.

"Oh my God! It's really you. I'm a big fan, man. Can you sign a shirt for me?"

He guessed that was Carlos and between what your sister told him and the way he heard him talk to you, he was already bored of seeing his stupid face.

"I don't have any shirts here. Sorry", he said, tone dry.

"I could send one. Or I can go visit you guys in Barcelona if you are friends".

Pedri's response was to move your phone away from his face and look at your surprised face.

"Do you want something or not? We can't be here all day waiting for you to be done talking to your boyfriend".

"He's not my boyfriend".

"Good. You deserve better", he said, loud enough for Carlos to hear.

When he left, you closed the door and went back to your bed.

"Well, he's a dick".

"I have to go, Carlos".

"Are you coming to Castellón then? I'm bored. No one is here".

Yes. You deserved better.

"No. I'll stay with my family".

You picked up your mask and ran downstairs, hoping they hadn't left yet.

"Can I go with you?", you asked Pedri and his mum, who were on their way out.

"If you want to go, I'll stay. I'm really tired", said his mum, leaving you two alone.

"Are you driving?"

He nodded and you followed him to his car.

"I'm sorry about Carlos. He's…well, he …".

"He's an asshole".

"Yeah", you said, looking away.

"I'm sure you can do better than someone like him".

"You're more optimistic than me, then", you said, laughing sadly.

"Why do you say that?"

"The last months have been tough".

"You could say", he said, making you laugh.

"I mean, apart from that. I'm shy and meeting new people drains my energy. So going to a new uni, and meeting new people, …it was hard enough before lockdowns and all that. And I guess I've been guilty of just settling for the first person who is nice to me a few times".

"It can happen to anyone".

You looked at him and saw no judgment in his face.

"How was it for you? Moving to Barcelona, I mean. Leaving your teammates to meet new ones. I guess it's a bit similar to changing schools".

"It was hard at the beginning. I can be shy too but it's better now. The squad is really nice. I got lucky".

"That's good to hear".

You kept driving to the supermarket in silence but thankfully it was a short drive.

"I have a list", said Pedri showing you his phone, "but get whatever you want".

It was your first time shopping there so you just followed him and kept putting things you liked in the trolley. Then you noticed him moving and hiding behind you.

"What? Did you see an ex or something?", you asked, trying not to laugh.

"Worse, a group of kids with Barça shirts. I don't mind them asking for photos but you are here too".

"I don't mind either…".

"They'll say I was with my girlfriend if they see us together".

"Oh…right. Keep hiding then".

You couldn't help but laugh seeing him scan the aisles before walking.

"Pe…", you started to say his name but were freaked out like him, so you grabbed his arm instead. "Sorry for being so rude to you. I…it's no excuse but I don't know how to interact with people sometimes and get all snappy".

"It's ok. Your sister told me".

She did?

"I'm sorry anyway".

You couldn't see his mouth because of the mask, but the way his eyes wrinkled told you he was smiling and that made you smile back.

Maybe the holidays weren't going to be that bad.

                                          **

The days after your trip to the supermarket were pretty uneventful. You still had to stay home and spent most of the time in the garden but the tension you felt staying at Pedri's surrounded by people you didn't know disappeared. Your parents were happy to see you were being more confident and just the normal you they knew and loved.

"Now that we have sunscreen there is no excuse. We're working on our tan, little sis".

Yeah, well…that was an excuse because you didn't want to wear a tiny bikini in front of everyone. The beach was one thing but the garden? It felt weird. But only to you because everyone else had been just wearing swimwear all day. Everyone but you.

"I don't know…".

"The green one", she said, ignoring you while she looked into your suitcase. "It looks so good on you".

Tired of the comments about how you were boiling under the clothes, you took the bikini from her hands and put it on.

You wrapped a towel around your body and followed your sister to the garden. Pedri and Fer were in the kitchen making some drinks for everyone. You put the towel on the grass while they were carrying the trays out and if it wasn't for Pedri's dad's good reflexes, the tray his youngest son was holding would have ended up on the floor.

"Careful!"

"Sorry", he said, looking away from where you stood, applying sun cream to your body.

Fer noticed the reason for the near accident and chuckled.

"Ask her if she needs help applying cream on her back".

"Shut up".

But no matter how much he pretended to not be affected by your presence, everyone noticed. And after many whispers that confused you, they managed to find a way to leave you two alone in the garden.

"And then there were two", you joked.

"Yeah", now it was his turn to act shy.

"Am I going to have to throw things at you like when I was a kid? To get your attention?"

"I'd prefer if you tried to kiss me again”, he muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I'm just distracted, I guess".

"I think I get now why people get annoyed when I don't look at them while I speak. It's pretty unnerving when you do it".

He took a deep breath and turned to look at you.

"It's hard to look at you right now".

"Am I that ugly? Really?", you joked but he didn't laugh.

He shook his head and you noticed him looking at you. Really looking at you. His eyes going from your head to your toes and then back to your head again.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable when you notice you're almost making me drool".

"Am I?"

Now he nodded, looking at your face to try and see your reaction.

"I'm not uncomfortable. You can keep looking".

He nodded again. "You can look too".

That made you laugh. "I've been looking for a couple of days. Keep working on the gym. The results aren't half bad".

After your little confession, Pedri put a towel next to yours to lie down. And you both talked about the most random things. Just entertaining each other. His company felt nice. Way nicer than Carlos' ever felt and that only showed you how much you were wasting your time trying to impress him.

"Dinner is almost ready, kids", said your mum. "Why don't you get ready? We're watching a movie afterwards if you want to join us".

Pedri got up and offered you a hand to do the same, which you took. Wrapping your towel around your body again, you followed him inside the house.

It was back to walking in silence until you got to your room.

"See you in a bit", he said when you opened the door. But instead of getting inside and closing it, you grabbed his arm to pull him inside with you. "What …".

"I wanted your attention so I thought, should I throw something at him again? But then I realized it would be rude to do that in your own house and I'm rambling again because being shy sucks".

He was biting his lip, trying not to laugh.

"So anyways, I'll do this instead", you finished saying before kissing him.

"I don't think you have my full attention, sorry. Maybe try again?"

[greencways]

Fic Name: Duty Calls

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x reader x unsub Elle

Words: 9K+

Warnings: Angst, kidnapping, miscommunication

Content: Okay so this was the first fic I ever wrote, I haven’t published this yet because I thought it was too long lol, anyways this is a fic about you falling in love with JJ and JJ falling in love with you, unfortunately Elle Greenway (your bestfriend) has a problem with it but you can’t quiet figure it out.

Also if something is in italics it means that the conversation is happening at the same time as the other in the scene!

————————————————————————

Duty Calls

I had known Elle Greenaway for just under 7 months, she grew to be one of my closest friends from the BAU, we were practically like sisters, when one of us were not there, people would always ask where either of were, we were probably the closest people you would ever meet, that was until Jennifer Jareau walked into the building.

“Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, JJ if you like”

“Elle” she began

“Greenaway, highest solved cases in Seattle, three years running, speciality in sex offender cases” JJ finished for her as Elle gritted her teeth and I could tell she was angry that she was already profiled by the new girl

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met” JJ questioned as she turned to me

“Oh, well I’m-“ I gave her a smile and I started to laugh

“She’s busy right now, she’ll talk to you later okay?” Elle grabbed my hand and dragged out into the hallway, I turned back to see JJ sad but shocked, Derek and Emily looked at her to say something but she shrugged it off putting it down to Elle being overprotective of me.

“Well” she turned to Emily and Derek “I’m the unit Liaison, my speciality is untangling Bureaucratic knots” at this point, she started walking up the stairs to go to her office “You’ll probably be talking to me a lot, my door is always open, mostly because I’m never in my office so just call me on my cell”

“I like her” Derek leaned down on the table he was sitting on to talk to Emily, Emily just nodded trying to profile her whilst not being able to figure out why she can’t. “She’s known everyone for a minute and already managed to piss off Greenaway, that’s got to be a record” Emily turned to look at him and furrowed her brow, partly because she knew he was right and partly because she realised you hadn’t been back in over ten minutes

“What the hell was that” y/n shouted

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Oh come on Elle, I may not be the best profiler in the world, but I sure as hell know that that wasn’t like you, you love it when new people join here” my arm flung back instinctively “Emily, Kate, Alex?” you stared at her waiting for her to say something

“They are different, you didn’t try to flirt with them the minute they walked through the BAU doors?

“Flirted?” I breathed out, those damn profilers

“The way you laughed, the way you smiled at her, the way you played with your necklace, not being able to look at her in the eye but simultaneously not being able to look away to see if she’s looking back at you”

Those. Damn. Profilers.

I retaliated, “I do all those things when I’m nervous Elle, you know I do, she’s just intimidating she walked in here like she owns the place”

“Intimidating?” She laughed out loud “Like that’s stopped you before” You suddenly remembered how you confessed you had a crush on Emily drunk on your couch on girls night solely because of how caring yet stubborn she was. Elle turned to walk away

“Elle wait” If someone else were here they probably would’ve thought I was pathetic

“Just drop it okay Y/L/N” You’re a damn profiler figure out why I’m mad” You just stood there as Elle walked away, you tried to read her as she walked away

“She’ll be fine, just give her some time” Emily said walking up to you, trying to believe her own lie.

“This isn’t like her” You said to her as you kept your eyes focused on your best friend walking away like her friendship meant nothing to you

“Come on” She tried to pull me out of my trance

“Okay, but first coffee” you laughed, Emily laughed too, happy to see you feeling somewhat better.

“I’ll meet you in the bullpen after” she gave you a look and you instantly knew what she meant

“I’ll get you one too, your usual?”

“Please and I’ll love you forever”

“Oh, forever” you giggled “Well if you say forever” you joked

She rolled her eyes “and don’t forget the-“ you cut her off “Splenda, I know” she gave me her best ‘ugh-you-know-me-so-well look’

“Coffee?” The tall Blonde questioned, unsure whether to talk to you because she didn’t know if you were half as intimidating as your friend.

“Ugh gallons please, it’s been a long day” you both laughed, you flirting and her knowing she could be at ease with you, maybe Elle was right, you thought, once you caught yourself laughing, smiling at her, playing with your necklace, not being able to look at her in the eye but simultaneously not being able to look away to see if she’s looking back at you.

“It’s” she said checking her watch “not even 9AM” she chuckled

“My point exactly” it felt easy with her, holding a conversation, she laughed and you felt a new confidence, you’ve never felt this way before, not even with Emily

“Hey, about my friend. I’m so sorry about her, I don’t know what’s gotten into her, she’s not normally like this” you felt your arm lifting up to her shoulder to soothe her anxiety

“You know what, don’t worry about it” she gave you her best “im fine” look, but what she didn’t know is that you invented that look

“Jennifer-“ you started

“Please-JJ, Jennifer makes me sound like a middle school teacher” you both chuckled, more loudly than you wanted. “So will I ever know your name mystery profiler” You breathed out to try tell her,

“Y/N come with me” Elle barged your shoulder, making you fall into JJ, landing on the floor. “Now Y/N we have a case”

“Duty Calls” you made a surprised face to her which made her laugh as she helped you up from the floor.

“Right of course, see you later Y/N” JJ suddenly remembering where she was.

“Bye Jennifer” you waved

“JJ” she said whining but laughing.

“Bye JJ” you said turning around pointing to her”

She laughed into her mug, knowing her Vanilla Latte had definitely gotten cold by now.

————————————————————————

Hotch explained the case and said “Wheels up” I nodded knowing I had to face Elle on the jet and I had to be away from JJ for a while, I wasn’t sure why but I felt so drawn to her, I twisted my ring, something I did when I was nervous, trying to figure out how to even approach the subject of Elle not talking to me to her

“Wheels up babygirl” Derek pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Right”

I looked over to the bullpen looking to see how long I was thinking for, luckily no one moved out of there yet, I saw Elle talking to JJ, this can’t be good I thought to myself “I’ll be back in a minute” I excused myself from Derek and made my way into the bullpen.

I made my way over to them but Emily caught me before I did something stupid

“Y/N don’t”

“Em, what’s going on?”

“Elle overheard JJ talking to Pen, about the fact that she has a small crush on you”

I lit up, JJ likes girls? And she likes me too?

I start to ask her what the problem is but because she is an amazing profiler, she already figured out my face

“The problem is Elle likes you too and it doesn’t take a profiler to figure out that she’s jealous, jealous of the chance that you have a chance with the new media liaison” I remembered everything, the little touches, the way Elle would insist on looking after me when I was drunk, the first one to make my coffee the way I liked it, the first one who would always help me to finish my paperwork when she could see I was stressed out, I remembered this morning, the way she gritted her teeth when she knew there was a possibility that I liked JJ, the way she barged into me when I was flirting a little bit too hard with Jennifer Jareau.

“Everyone knew except me right?”

“What that Greenaway had a crush on you?” Derek laughed walking up to the table I was sat on “Come on babygirl I’m pretty sure people who don’t even work on this floor know” he winked at Emily

“What do I do” I sighed

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” Emily said

“And don’t do anything I would do” You heard a familiar voice and turned around

“TARA” you shouted, you practically jumped into her arms

“Well if it isn’t DR Tara Lewis” Emily said

“Hello to you too Agent” Tara laughed

“Is she new?” she looked over to JJ

“Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ” She smiled

“Well Alright JJ, I heard we have a new case?”

“Yep, wheels up” I gave my best Hotch Impression

“I missed you”

“I missed you too babe”

Tara was the first ever friend I made at the BAU, she took about 2 months off from work because of an injury due to the last case she worked but I was very happy for her to be back.

————————————————————————

It’s been 6 months since Tara has came back, Jennifer Jareau and I have gotten really close and Elle and I have slowly drifted.

Hotch Debriefed everyone on the plane “Emily you go to the ME with Tara, Kate, Alex, Derek, Luke, stay here with me to look through the case files, and Y/N and Elle, you go to the crime scene, got it?”

Emily joked “you got it boss” and saluted him and I swear that if I blinked I would’ve missed him smirk for a second

Emily sat next to me on the jet, across from Kate and Derek, Alex, Tara and Hotch sat on the chairs on the other side of the jet, talking about work, I looked up from our conversation and I could see Elle making coffee but stirring the mug like she had something on her mind, I profiled her for a second, trying to read her face and I concluded that she wants to be left alone so I left it at that and returned to the conversation where I could see them all staring at me

“hmm” I said and everyone laughed

“I said are you dating anyone” Kate laughed

Wanting them to leave me alone and for Penelope asking every time I went into her “Lair” as she called it I decided to Lie

“Umm, Yeah I am seeing somebody” Elle’s head turned toward me as if -I- were the unsub like she talked down to last week

“Yeah somebody called Elle Greenaway” Derek laughed and Elle tilted her laugh and bit her lip intrigued as to what my next words would be, all whilst still giving me that death stare

“Hello my lovelies” Penelope said

“What have you got Garcia” Hotch said as he, Alex, Tara, and Elle walked over to our table

“There’s been two more bodies found” JJ said

“Hey Jayj” I said, to be nice and to piss off Elle for a second

“Hey Y/N she smiled and I returned the smile

“Get a room” Elle said as she walked back to get her coffee that she accidently left on the counter

Emily and Derek knew what I was doing and tried to hold back their laughter

“Thanks Guys” Alex said

When you and Elle got to the crime scene you could sense something was wrong with Elle but you didn’t want to push it because you both were the most professional people the team had ever worked with.

Four days later when you finally finished with everyone you finally relaxed on the jet as you caught the unsub, so much so that you accidently slept on Emily’s shoulder throughout the entire ride there.

“Wake up sleepyhead” Luke said

“Sorry” You looked over to Emily realising what you’ve done

“Don’t worry about me, your girlfriend over there is the one you want to worry about”

You looked up to see Elle reading a book crossing her legs not really reading just trying to distract herself, she gave you a sarcastic smile and went back to reading.

“Hey you” JJ beamed when she saw us coming back into the BAU after we came off the jet, her arms flung around me and I could feel Elle’s jealousy from the back of my head “How was your case?”

“Nothing we haven’t seen before” Elle said harshly as she brushed past us, I nodded and shrugged agreeing that we see these cases a lot of the time and it was nothing we haven’t seen before

“You’re back” Garcia shouted “girls night and that includes everyone, and that includes you Jennifer” jj looked over at you “I’ll pick you up” a voice said behind me “Thank you Emily” JJ said

“Don’t even mention it”

————————————————————————

You were the last to arrive at Garcia’s house for girls night because you got drinks for everyone, JJ opened the door for you and hugged you as Emily took the vodka out of your hand, JJ dragged you to the couch where Emily and Tara sat. Kate and Alex took a chair either side of the couch with their glasses already filled wine, you looked around for Elle and spotted her gossiping with Garcia, you put it down to nothing and focused your attention back on JJ as she was putting a movie on

“RomCom okay Y/N? we kinda decided before you came” she half stated and questioned

“Only if the RomCom is 50 first dates” you said jokingly but it wasn’t a joke, you loved that movie

“Oh my God I forgot how much you loved that movie” Tara said as she remembered you begging to watch it every time you were drunk, or even sober for that matter

“Luckily for you Y/N/N it’s my favourite movie” JJ stated, you could practically hear Elle seethe from the other side of the open planned apartment

“God Drew Barrymore is so hot” Tara said

“Now that I can agree with” Emily sighed, the others nodded their heads in agreement

“Wait, who’s got the popcorn” I asked.

“Me” Elle spoke loudly so everyone can hear her.

“You want anything else?”

“Skittles to put in the popcorn” you and JJ spoke at the same time standing about to head to the kitchen, you and JJ looked at each other not realising someone else has the same habit.

“Sorry babe, only enough for one person and I heard Y/N first” Elle barged aggressively past her and JJ ended up falling onto the floor completely the opposite to what happened a week prior

You lifted JJ up off the ground and spoke softly so no one else could hear “Don’t worry you can share some of mine” she returned the same smile you gave her, and you both made your way to the couch to find Elle sitting in JJ’s seat.

You knew what Elle was up to so you decide to test her as soon as JJ was about to sit on the floor, you turned to JJ said “Actually there’s a space on my lap if you want to sit on it” I swear Elle’s eyes hit the back of her head when she rolled them. “Well thank you M’lady” JJ joked, Emily and Tara stared at each of other as to ask what the hell is going on and Alex, Kate, and Penelope were obliviously watching the film that has only been on for 20 minutes.

“Y/N I need some help in the kitchen” Elle shouted after 20 minutes of JJ cuddling with you, which you and JJ both secretly loved.

“Duty calls” JJ joked after getting off your lap referring to the one of the first conversations you had, you both laughed as you understood what she was talking about, the others chuckled looking around confused

“What’s up?” I asked as I caught my breath running up to her

“Nothing I just wanted to see your pretty face” Elle smiled as you blushed “Although I could do with another drink” she whisper shouted as she squinted her eyes to you knowing it would make you laugh. “Anyone want another drink” she questioned to everyone louder

“Please” Tara, and Emily said, the others politely declined or said no out loud.

“So, what’s everyone’s love life like” Garcia questioned as you and Elle walked back towards your seat knowing fully well she knew everyone’s answers she just wanted the gossip

“Well I’m seeing someone” Kate reminded

“Oh yeah, Chris right? How is he doing?” You questioned sitting down wanting to change the subject

“He’s good, Meg’s great too, she’s just well”

“A teenager” Emily laughed

“Poltergiest okay for everyone” Tara said as she was confident it was going on anyway

“Ugh I hate horror films” JJ groaned

“Come here you big baby” you opened your arms signalling for her to come back into your lap knowing and understanding that both of you felt a wave of comfort in holding the other person.

The film lasted around 2 hours and everyone fell asleep after Garcia managed to grab blankets for everyone, JJ fell asleep on my shoulder but luckily she was a light sleeper “JJ” you whispered to her “Jennifer” You whispered more loudly, you shook her shoulders, she stirred lightly

“What time is it we are going to be late for work” she said in her sleep

You moved the hair out the face “Okay first of all its 3AM and it’s our day off” you laughed

“Oh okay” she said lightly you lifted her off to get some water “no” Jennifer whisper shouted, you turned to see her face still sleeping “you’re so warm don’t leave me”

“I won’t leave, I’m going to get some water for the both of us”

“Ugh” JJ groaned “fine but be quick I’m cold” she said groggily

You laughed and got water for the both of you “You smell so nice” she said into your shoulder “you’re so soft I could lay on you forever” you smiled and blushed knowing every time you spent with Jennifer Jareau you were falling harder for her, you looked over to the other side of the couch to see Elle sleeping, you were faced with the biggest dilemma you had in a long time.

————————————————————————

Elle woke up before anyone, you woke up and you saw her looking at JJ lying on your chest, “Elle” you breathed, she didn’t say anything and she just starred at you looking for an explanation as to why “She hates horror films” you tried to give your best explanation without trying not to wake up JJ and to piss off Elle, she gave you a slow nod, the same one she gives an unsub before she’s about to say something life ruining, “Elle come on, I know that face, tell me what’s wrong”

“I have to leave” Elle picked up her things from the floor and headed for the door, you grabbed her free hand

“Elle please talk to me” You sighed

“Let me go” Elle argued

“No, not this time, I am always the first person you come to in situations like this, why is this time different” you argued back, she gazed at you debating whether she should admit her thoughts out loud

“I said let it go Y/N” Elle shouted and you scoffed

“I-“

You cut her off “You what Elle”

She made sure no one was awake and after realising what she was doing you did the same

“I love you Y/N, always have” she started to breathe heavier

“what” you said genuinely confused as to why she would admit it now

“But I know I can’t be with you because you’re in love with the new girl” Elle reasoned “Everyone can see it apart from you and her”

“Elle-“ she cut you off

“Tell everyone I said I would see them later and that I’m meeting an old friend, you think you can do that or are you going to be pining after the media liaison?”

“You and I both know that isn’t fair Elle” you tried to reason with her

“See you later” Elle stormed off, making you realise that her walking off in the BAU hallway wasn’t a mistake

“What was that about?” Emily scoffed

“Well how much did you hear?” You were curious but tried to make light of it

“Just heard the door slam” Emily said and you felt relieve wash over you

“Oh” you laughed “She’s going to meet an old friend but she’s coming back” you said, shocked how easy it was to believe the lie.

“Right” Emily said profiling you, you nodded making your way to the kitchen getting a glass of water, trying to figure out what happened.

“Hey” a small voice said behind you

“Oh, hey JJ, you want one” you nodded to the glass of water you were filling up

“Sure, thank you” she smiled to which you returned it, “Hey I need to talk to you and it’s kind of important” JJ said with increasing worry but the same smile

“Yeah, the bedroom okay” you asked knowing it was the one room over but it was the best option to ensure privacy for the both of you

You lead her to the bedroom after realising you were the only one who knew where it was because JJ had never been over to Garcia’s house.

“Sit down” JJ said sternly, in the 6 months that I’ve known her I’ve never seen her so sure of something, sure how she acted on the phone when she was trying to get through to someone on the phone who would not take her seriously I thought back to that night “My name is Jennifer Ja-“ she started and then decided on a different approach “No, you know what, I’m not going to explain this entire thing again to another mid-level bureaucrat who can’t give me a sufficient answer, put someone on the damn phone who can authorise what I need” “Y/N” JJ said louder this time, you noticed her pacing around the room

“Woah JJ it’s okay” you got off the bed and went to grab her hands to try and help her breathe properly, you guided her to the bed and sat her down and tried to get her to match your breaths, at this point you were sat face to face with your feet on the floor “hi” you said to her flustered

“Hey” JJ sighed “So um” she tripped over her words, you laughed slightly indicating to her to carry on “I know I’ve only known you 6 months but I thought you deserve to know, I like you, I like you Y/N I have the biggest crush on you and I have since the first time you bumped into me literally and figuratively” you both laughed “but I know you’re seeing Elle I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything” she let your hand go and started to walk out the door

“JJ wait” she turned around unsure of why you stopped her “I’m not seeing anyone” you said lightly so no one heard you

“Oh it’s just what Penelope said” you suddenly remembered the conversation on the plane and the conversation that Elle, JJ, and Penelope said in the bullpen

Confused but intrigued you asked her “What did she say?

“She said that Elle told her that you and Elle had been dating for 2 months” JJ expressed sadly, of course she did

“I’m not sure why she would say that but I can assure you that I’m not seeing Elle or anyone for anyone for that matter”

“So it’s okay if I do this” JJ grabbed your face and lunged towards you pulling you in for a kiss knowing it’s something you both wanted

After two minutes of kissing you stopped to breathe “it’s more than okay miss Jareau” you said truthfully.

“Okay good” she said in the middle of you kissing again

“I could kiss you forever” you said

“I hope you do” JJ smiled

“I don’t think we can tell anyone about this, I already hate paperwork as it is, plus I think it would be fun to keep it a secret about us, see how long it would be before someone finds out about kissing”

“Apparently not very long” JJ pointed behind you and laughed at how terrible you were at whispering

You turned around to see her “Emily hey” you twisted your necklace and laughed while tilting your head back only doing those things when you were nervous

“Relax Y/L/N you have nothing to be nervous for, I’m rooting for you, plus I was waiting to see how long it would be before you guys kissed, I owe Tara so much money”

“No wait Em you can not tell anyone about this, this can not get out I’m already on thin ice with Elle as is” Emily could tell you were serious about this

“You got it” she gave you a nod and closed the door

“Bye Emily” you said

“Now where were we” JJ said

You got closer to her face “Hey”

“Hi” she said back to you “Ever since I saw you that day, I knew it was going to be you”

“I didn’t know you felt the same way”

“I did” Emily laughed from outside the door.

“Bye Emily “you repeated.

————————————————————————

You and JJ had been in a secret relationship for about a month, you loved spending time with her and she was overall becoming your favourite person, you both found comfort in each other and could always count on each other for everything, it was a lot like your relationship with Elle before you met JJ but this time it was different. Whenever no one noticed you would always sneak a kiss with her and she would do the same, you would always go to her office for lunch or whenever you had finished your paperwork and wanted to see your girlfriend.

“Hey, you busy?” you knocked before she answered.

“For everyone else yes, but because it’s you” JJ looked up from her paperwork, you walked over to her and kissed her head and sat down on the chair opposite before pulling your lunch out “but because it’s you I’m busy” she joked and you shook your head and laughed, you looked behind you to double check if you closed the door to find you did, you leaned over to kiss her lips “You’re so lucky I love you” you said into her lips.

“I love you too Y/N/N” JJ replied as you pulled back to get something for her

“I got your favourite” you pulled out Cheetos from your bag.

“You’re the best girlfriend in the world I could literally kiss you right now” JJ beamed.

“Oh, be my guest” you flirted as she leaned into kiss you as your phone goes off.

“It’s Pen, this could go a million different ways” you said to her.

You read her text out loud “There’s camera’s in her office btw, top left corner

; )” you both darted your eyes to the to top left corner to see a camera, you felt your face blushing as you saw JJ laughing in the corner of your eye

“I forgot about the cameras” JJ said after she finally calmed down from her hysterics

“You knew?” You whisper shouted as you saw her circling her desk to come up behind you, she teased you as she leaned over you and grabbed your face to kiss you but stopped suddenly.

“Come on babe, lunch is over” She knew what she was doing.

“Jennifer” You laughed and groaned at the same time, she grabbed your hands to pull you up and to get ready to go back to working.

“Next time” JJ promised

“Ugh” You moaned

“I love you too babe now get back to work before Hotch shouts at us” JJ laughed as she opened the door signalling for you to go out first, when you were stepping out of the door you turned to thank her not realising you would bump into someone whilst you were doing it, “Ugh my coffee” Elle groaned as you both realise you spilled coffee all over her red shirt.

“Elle I’m so sorry, here let me” you grabbed a napkin from the table next to her as you leaned over JJ followed behind you Elle’s eyes darting between you and JJ walking out of her office at the same time.

“You know what don’t bother” She said as she realised what was happening

“What was that about” Kate asked as she past you.

You began to speak but JJ stopped you “I accidently tripped Y/N up and she fell over me and into Elle” you gave JJ a sad look unsure of why she would cover for you like that, luckily Hotch held up a case with a look and you knew exactly what was about to happen.

————————————————————————

“Okay so you need us to stay in Colorado for a week in a cottage?” you needed to double check with Hotch to make sure you were hearing him right.

“And you want us to pretend we’re married couple?” JJ looks after at you trying to figure out if they already have figured out about our secret relationship.

“It’s just because I know how close you two are and I know you two will remain professional at all costs on this case, Y/N is our best profiler” Hotch added, you and JJ both nodded knowing that what he said is true.

This time felt different, being asked to work the case as lovers due to the fact that you were excited to spend time with your girlfriend but also due to the fact the rest of your team found you and JJ to be a compatible match relationship wise.

You looked around to see everyone’s reactions, everyone was mostly focusing on Penelope going over the new case again but your eyes stayed over Elle for a while, she was tense and nervous but she would never let it show in front of other people, since you used to be so close to her and she hated talking about her emotions, you learned to pick up and profile her behaviour, she was quiet, more than usual, and picking at her nails but doing it swiftly under the table so no one would notice, as well as this, she also had an underlying tone of anger, she was mad at you, at the situation, at JJ, at Hotch for giving you and JJ the case, and at herself for getting this irate and nervous that something bad could happen to you that was out of her control.

“Wheels up in 30” Hotch nodded to you and JJ.

You all got up and left the table, before you were out of the room, Emily stopped you “Aren’t you excited to be with your girlfriend for a week? What’s up with you?” she teased but also said growing more concerned with every word, you looked over at her, suddenly realising that you mirrored Elle’s nervous behaviour, “What?” you finished before she could answer your question “No it’s not that I’m worried about” you said honestly, “it’s her” you nodded at Elle, Emily looked in your direction and squinted her eyes and nodded slowly, “got it” “why are you worried about her though?”

“Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I think she’s mad at me’’ Emily started to nod but she had no clue what you were talking about “I mean the whole thing with JJ, this case, she keeps bumping into me all the time and it’s always when I’m with her” both of your eyes drifted to JJ making coffee. Emily tried to give you the best reassurance as she could but honestly this situation confused her just as much as you.

“Give them both time, they are both the most professional at their jobs and JJ is a smart girl she wouldn’t do something that would risk her job like this, and as for Elle, you know each other more than yourselves, what would you do in this situation?” Emily being a Libra meant that she would almost always be the peacemaker in situations like these but not when she was supposed to be, I shook my head in both disbelief and agreement that Emily was always right, she didn’t even need to tell me what to do next.

“I’ll go talk to Elle, you take JJ” you stated but it sounded more like a plead

“Hey you” you walked over to Elle

“Hey” Elle looked around to see if JJ was making her way over.

“I’ve missed you” you said honestly.

“Well it looks like you’ve had some really great company recently” Elle meant for it to come out sarcastically but it ended up coming out more harshly than you both expected it to.

“Oh come on you know that’s not fair” you both rolled your eyes

“Where is she anyway? Thought you would be going to check on her any minute now” Elle sighed

“Why are you acting like this? You’ve changed and I don’t like it!” You retaliated and Elle rolled her eyes.

“You want one?” JJ felt Emily’s presence behind her.

“Sure, thanks” Emily said

“You take Splenda right?” JJ smiled and Emily smiled back nodding knowing that the media liaison took notes of the way everyone took their drinks. JJ turned to face Emily

“So how do you feel about going undercover with Y/N, I know it can be a lot”

“I’m nervous, Em, what if someone finds out about you know” JJ tried hint at your relationship

“Okay JJ relax, you’ll tell them when you’re ready no one will force you or Y/N to come out when they are not ready, I won’t allow it” Emily tried to act confident but there was a hint of sweetness around it, JJ nodded and smiled.

————————————————————————

“She’s doing what?” you practically shouted at Hotch

“She said that when we never have her back, she took it on me the most, talking about The Fisher King case” you both nodded knowing exactly what you were talking about but didn’t want to pry any further

“When does she leave?” You asked but didn’t want an answer

“She’s out there talking to Luke right now” He said, you turned around to see her and Luke talking, you nodded thankful the answer wasn’t coming from anyone else but her

You made your way into the bullpen “Hey” you said to her softly and Luke made his way back to his desk to give you two some privacy

“I guess you heard” She talked into her mug, you nodded

“Where are your-“ you wondered why you hadn’t noticed her gun and badge yet

“In Hotch’s office” she finished knowing what you were about to ask her.

“You know, when I first started this job, the sound of my phone ringing, a call from the Bureau, I used to get so excited, the blood used to race through my veins” you nodded knowing you had the exact feeling when you first started this job “and now, that same sound it paralyses me” she continued “I’m not the same person anymore, that night at Lee’s if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing”

“Even though you killed someone” I asked her still unsure of whether I wanted the answer, she sighed and rolled her eyes, both of us thankful she didn’t answer my question.

“I guess that’s it then” she changed the subject very quickly, she left before I could say anything

“I’ll miss you” I said out loud but not loud enough for anyone to hear you.

“She’ll miss you too” Emily said making you jump

“Youhave to stop appearing behind me like that” you playfully hit her arm.

“Now that I know how scared you get, I don’t think I will” Emily joked back.

————————————————————————

“Are you sure you’re up for this” you said zipping your girlfriend’s dress up, you all had finally tracked the unsub down after 10 days of being undercover and you had been sent by Hotch to a local club where the unsub goes a lot, JJ was wearing a long red dress with black heels and her hair slightly wavy, you were wearing a short black dress, also paired with black heels, and your hair was more curled than hers.

“Yep” JJ said popping the p, she didn’t realise this was a heavy tell on her nervousness.

“JJ look at me” you turned her around to face you “we’re going to be okay, you know that right?” it was more of a statement than a question but you made the message clear

You squeezed her hand twice, you and JJ had a secret code within your relationship, one squeeze meant that ‘everything is okay?’ two was ‘you will be okay’ and the three squeezes means ‘lets get out of here’ if you were both extremely uncomfortable, unfortunately it has happened more than you would like it to have been

“it’s just” she started to breathe heavier, you squeezed her hand two more times “these victims look so much like you and I don’t know if I can handle not being with you” JJ looked anywhere but you as she knew if she would look at you she would lose it and ruin her makeup

“Jayje” you lifted her chin so she was looking at you “I will be absolutely fine, you mean everything to me I want nothing more to be with you for the rest of time, I love you so much” it slipped your mouth but that was the first time you said it to her and meant it.

“I-“

“JJ im sorry I shouldn’t have said it, it was too soon” you turned to leave and you felt a tug on your wrist, JJ pulled you in for a kiss and let her hands wander all over you

“I love you too” JJ smiled into the kiss.

“Come on baby we have to get ready now, put these in so everyone can hear us at the bar” you handed her an earpiece as you put yours in

“12 o’clock” Emily said through your earpiece, you looked around and it was fairly loud, there were so many people in the club but in distinct groups so it was easy for you to find the unsub.

“I’m going to the bar, what do you want?” you said to both JJ and Emily to let them know you were going to make your way over to the unsub

“I’ll have a vodka lemonade babe, I’ll sit over there” she pointed at a table near the bathroom

“See you in a second” JJ squeezed your hand once, you made your way back to the bar and you sat down getting ready to order drinks for both you and JJ.

“So, what’s a pretty lady doing here all by herself” A man in his 40’s flirted with you.

Emily and JJ both said your name at the same time indicating that this was our guy.

“Just getting some drinks” you said honestly and not wanting small talk, he just nodded.

“What are you drinking?” at this point it felt more like an interrogation rather than a random guy flirting, you lifted your glass up to show him that you ordered a vodka lemonade, not wanting a drink at this point, just wanting to go back to your girlfriend, as you turned on your heels you made eye contact with JJ shaking your head angrily, “I said what are you drinking” he raised his voice at me and I was not about to lose whatever confidence I had in myself at this point, luckily I felt JJ walk over to me, I looked down at my now red wrist and back up at him again “Vodka lemonade, let me go” you hissed at him

“Now that I’ve got you” he towered over me and leaned into my ear “I’m never going to let you go” you felt your breath grow heavier. JJ flashed him her badge and he let you go, JJ picked you up before you fell to the floor as she guided you to the bathroom.

“What happened baby?” she didn’t care if the team found out if the team knew about your relationship, her priority at this second was to check if you were okay, you told them both the story knowing Emily was still listening in.

“I’m coming over” Emily couldn’t take it anymore

“NO” you and JJ both shouted at the same time “he’s dangerous, we do not need another agent in danger” you begged

“Fine, but the second I hear something go slightly wrong I won’t hesitate to come over capeesh”

“Capeesh” you said looking up to JJ saluting her

“Let’s go back out” You said to JJ

“Yep, I’ll get the drinks this time hmm” JJ said

“Sounds perfect” she guided you back up off the floor and she kissed you before you both left the bathroom, you stayed with her until you got the drinks, you leaned into her and said “I’ll be back I’m just going to get some air, I love you”

“Miss you already I love you too” JJ fake pouted, you started to make your way outside, you felt eyes on the back of your head but thought nothing of it, when you got outside you felt dizzy and the last thing you remember was a man standing over your body.

————————————————————————

“Finally” a man said over your freezing body, you looked around to figure out what was happening, it was light outside so you had been out for a while, you looked around some more and you realised that you were in some random basement in the middle of nowhere typical, you saw JJ still sleeping on the other side of the room and you couldn’t help but smile because at least you had the love of your life with you. “she’s been sleeping for days” you were out longer than you realised.

“Who are you and what am I doing here” you croaked.

“She’s still feisty even after being trapped here for a whole week” he turned to face a person standing next to you but you couldn’t muster your strength to turn and see what they looked like, even though you couldn’t see what she was doing you felt her look down at you and pout, you turned around and decided to sleep again because at least that way you could forget about your reality right now, as the door slammed it startled JJ.

She jumped up and made a noise, after she calmed down she tried calling me “Y/N” she also sounded thankful that we weren’t doing this on our own, you couldn’t turn around but instead just let your tears roll down, after 10 minutes you decided get up and crawl to her to be in her arms again but you only got so far, you felt something pull you back, after realising that it was handcuffs that were stopping you.

What seemed like hours later, a tall brunette walked in and gave you something to eat completely passing JJ “you need to eat my love” you didn’t even need to turn around to realise who was doing this to you, she called you that all the time

“Elle leave me alone, you’re the last person I want to see right now”

I know baby, you wanna be in her arms right?” she teased

“You do not get to call me that” you turned around and you became face to face with Elle Greenaway for the first time in what felt like years, she reached out her hand but you flinched, she carried on and wiped a tear from your cheek which you didn’t even realise was there, instead of fighting it, you let her, at least imaging it was JJ who was wiping your tears.

“Eat up” she repeated before she left, she looked back to see if JJ was looking at you, she was so she did the only thing she know would make you both mad, she kissed you, she kissed you intensely foolishly you let her, closing your eyes imaging it was your girlfriend the entire time. She stopped harshly and stood up and winked at you and called you “good girl”, after realising what just happened you felt even more disgusted, as she walked past JJ, she leaned down and whispered loud enough so I could hear it too “What’s the matter sweetie; see something you like” she laughed in her face and stood up, JJ looked over at you with a sad smile and Elle noticed this “I want to wipe that grin of your face so badly but my mother taught me to play nicely” you felt a lump in your throat and lunged forward at her about to say something you never thought you would get to say.

“Elle wait” she turned back around as you chocked on your sobs “Let her go, kill me and let her go” you emphasised those last words.

“Did anyone ever tell you how good you look begging pretty girl?” she cooed as she started to make her way over to you.

You lost it at her “Why are you doing this? What’s the matter with you? Why are you acting like this? Why are you hurting me and why are you enjoying it” you just couldn’t help yourself at the word vomit, it was like all the questions that had been running through your head for the last few months were just dying to come out.

Elle turned around to face JJ who was too startled to say anything at this point “You sure you want her?” she tormented “She’s way to suborn for her own good, get’s that from me I think” you were not even angry at this point, you felt uncontrollable tears fall down your face as you realised that was a possibility that JJ would leave you due to your stubbornness at some point, it hadn’t crossed your mind though until Elle pointed it out.

“Please” JJ rolled her eyes “It’s gonna take a lot more than Y/N’s stubbornness to make me leave her” she spat at her “Actually it’s one of the million reasons why I started dating her” both you and Elle were confused at this but then you realised this was JJ’s way of telling you that no matter what the circumstances were, she would never leave you.

“Okay then” Elle smirked as she stood up and lifted her arms up to a box on the highest shelf of the basement, taking JJ’s statement as a competition, she opened the box and pulled out a red camera, this was your camera, the one that you and Elle shared when you went places together.

“You kept that?” Your gaze softened.

“Shut up” Elle barked.

Considering it was dark, she fumbled for a while looking for the night vision filter on the camera and you had seen enough of these livestream cases to know exactly what was happening.

Penelope was pacing around her office in front of everyone as she furiously did everything she did to find you and JJ.

“Pen you need to calm down” Tara guided her to sit down as Luke came to stand behind her, he turned to Emily as to ask her what he should say next.

“Penelope we have done everything we could so far” Emily started

“They are two of our best workers they’ll be okay” Hotch finished Emily’s sentence for her. Kate’s phone pinged, everyone’s eyes landed on her.

“You got something pretty lady?” Derek was the only one brave enough to ask.

“Meg” Kate shook her head, feeling guilty it was someone else other than you and JJ, Alex came in with a handful of papers.

“This isn’t a case, this is just a list I’ve made of every possibility of who could’ve kidnapped them” Alex sighed, everyone else was thankful that Alex got further than they did.

“Andrea Nolan” Derek sighed.

“Matthew Brewster” Emily shook her head.

“Melissa Brdgers” Luke read out loud knowing these people would never kidnap you both.

“Wait was Matthew the guy from the bar, the one who flirted with Y/N” it started clicking for Emily.

“Garcia pull up Brewster’s number, see who he had texted more often this month” Hotch said sternly.

“Already on it sir” Garcia was.

“Greenaway, that’s got to be a coincidence right” there was a hint of panic in Derek’s voice.

Just like clockwork there was a livestream from Elle’s camera.

“Hey guys, I know you’re all there, did you miss me? Not too much I hope” Elle said to the camera as you hid your face because you hated your team seeing you on edge never mind in a situation this serious. “HI Emily, you were always my favourite, don’t tell the others” It was clear that she was stalling and that she knew what she was doing. Elle, however was smart enough to not do it on her phone because she knew Penelope would have already tracked her by now.

Elle turned back to you and finished the sentence that she started before she started live streaming “Okay then Jareau, if you’re sure that nothing will come between you and her” she angled the camera at you on the floor and started to straddle your hips Elle started to kiss you more intensely than JJ granted but you hated it, every time JJ kissed you it was soft and gentle, but Elle’s kiss was rough, she hurt you and she knew it “Say it” she whispered in your ear.

“What do you want me to say?” you were genuinely confused at her statement.

She leaned more forward kissing your neck but covering her head and her hands traveling up your waist from your team “That I’m better than her, in every way” you both looked over to her, you giving her a soft smile in which she returned, Elle the opposite.

Your chest grew heavy as you knew that this could be a possibility of a way out “You’re better than her, in every way” it came out as barley a whisper

“No sweetie, I know you can do better than that, say it louder for me baby, loud enough so everyone can hear it”

“Elle is better than you JJ, in every way” you shouted at JJ, you didn’t mean to. Not yet a profiler, JJ didn’t pick up on the fact that this was a message and she thought you genuinely meant it, you could see the tear roll down her eyes and you had a lump in your throat.

“Good girl” Elle whispered as she stood up to walk away, you knew exactly what to do next

“In fact JJ, Elle is better than you in every single because when I went over to her house for the fourth time I knew I loved her.”

“Pen and paper” Alex was the only one that picked up that this was a code “Write down important words of her next sentence Emily, she said directly to Emily because everyone else couldn’t concentrate.

“Yep, I knew I loved her when was away, when I was taken from everyone, I basically lived in Elle’s house at some point” she laughed like it was a great memory “ the one on 10th street you know, days I was away from my cat” she kept laughing “In fact Emily was the one I called on, I knew she was the one who could help save me” At this point Emily already had her FBI jacket on and was ready to leap out the door in order to save you both.

————————————————————————

Elle was about to say something before she heard those four words “FBI drop your weapon” Elle was too careless that she had you that she forgot you were also a profiler and you left Emily a coded message, after realising what had just happened, Elle slapped you hard across the face.

“In here” JJ shouted at the footsteps that grew louder, Derek kicked down the door, which you weren’t expecting anything else.

“Em” JJ struggled to speak and make eye contact with Emily as she reached down to take JJ’s hand.

When Elle figured out what was going she whipped your head around fast and shoved you back to the floor as you stumbled making your way to Emily and JJ.

————————————————————————

You made your way back to the bullpen with Emily and JJ, Elle was arrested because she aimed a weapon at an FBI Agent, before you stepped out of the elevator you stopped JJ to talk with her privately and you signalled to Emily that it was okay to leave for a second.

“I’m so sorry about what I did back there” you looked into JJ’s crying eyes, you stepped closer indicating a hug, reluctantly she agreed.

A minute or two into the hug she looked down at you “Is it true?” you both knew what she was talking about.

“JJ look at me” you lifted her chin up to look you in the eye. “I want you to know that you are the most perfect person in the entire world, what I said in there, every time I kissed her” you stopped to take breath “every time I kissed her I imagined it was you, it was the only thing that got me through those couple of days, I imagined it was you, every single time, what I said about Elle was absolutely not true, I said it because thankfully Emily and Alex picked up on the secret code I was giving them, there was a chance Elle would too but I had a feeling the team would find out before she did”

You looked up to see JJ crying, you held JJ even longer and whispered sweet nothings into her ears whilst you stroked her hair, it became a much bigger habit over the last three months which you both secretly enjoyed.

“Nothing will ever make me love you any less, nothing you ever do, nothing in your past, got it?” you always knew how to reassure your girlfriend.

“Got it” the side of her mouth tugged with a smirk “love you” she said into your hair as you were still hugging, she made sure to give you plenty of forehead kisses.

“Now come on, let’s get back out there before we look suspicious” she extended her arm for you to take which you gladly took.

When you and JJ walked into the bullpen there were balloons everywhere and party food on the table, you two were confused as to what this was for until you noticed a huge ‘WELCOME HOME Y/N AND JJ’ sign handwritten by everyone on the team, you tapped your girlfriend’s arm and leaned into her, she hugged your waist and whilst you and JJ started talking to everyone on the team, you realised this was where we you were meant to be, this was home.

[generalluxun]

What makes Sabrina one of your favourite (if not favourite) characters of the show?

She's just a fun plucky underdog type character? I like to describe her as 'What Marinette would be if the opening theme song were honest.' She's just an ordinary girl in amongst all these high-powered/rich/multitalented children in a world of superpowers. Her talents are hidden. She's *actually* clumsy unlike Marinette who is only 'cutely clumsy'.

All in all, she's fun to write for.

She's connected secondhand to a large portion of the caste. Her characterization is loose enough to be played with a bit. Her loyalty is refreshing in a surprisingly mercenary caste of people. She is in a portion as a protagonist to learn much and grow in new and exciting ways.

I absolutely LOVE how she and Adrien ended up mixing when I tried writing them in a one shot. She has one thing that Marinette lacks- humility. I'll try to explain this.

Marinette- Oh No I'm being cringe, everyone will see! My reputation, I'll be a laughing stock! I have to run and hide! Panic! Anxiety! Flail!

Sabrina- I'm being cringe, because I'm me. People will laugh, but no one expects anything from me anyway. So, I might as well just be cringe and honest about it.

That difference is so big. One creates so much stress and the other just... lets it go? This is what made Adribrina click. The way they just both get to be dorks with each other. Adrien showed Marinette he was Cat Noir in Ephemeral and she freaked out, rejecting that side of him. Adrien shows Sabrina he's Cat Noir in Dog Daze and she just thinks that is SO COOL. Like, he's awesome both ways!

See how that relationship is just... healthier?

I'll say I like Sabrina as someone who sticks with things, who muddles through problems, and who doesn't expect instant gratification. (the show has a problem with too much instant gratification)

I don't like her as someone who pushes Chloé aside, all those fics where she dumps her lifelong friend read as salty and OOC to me. If there's to be a break, Sabrina would be sad, it would be tearful, and she'd leave the door open. If anything Sabrina would work to become the kind of person who could set good boundaries, and then try to rekindle their friendship if possible on more even terms. Would it work? That's the plot of a good fic, isn't it?

That's just a primer, She's so much fun.

Also: She SMOL.

[pastelwitchling]

The Missteps of Bridgerton Season 3

I love Bridgerton, I love Polin, and I enjoyed the first half of the season fine... but as someone who'd started watching Bridgerton only because of Polin, who'd read the book, and who had been looking forward to this particular season from the very beginning, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by what we got. Not because it wasn't good, but because it wasn't as amazing as it could've been.

And no, I will not be tagging this as 'anti.' I've gone through the anti tag, and it's some very vile bull from people who genuinely hate the show or hate the characters (or hate other fans), and I love them. I just have some criticism of a few choices made.

So. If you can't handle any critique to the show at all, then please don't read the rest of this. Otherwise, grab some tea and a snack because I have quite a few thoughts.

I don't even know where to start.

I think the most frustrating thing for me in the beginning was how many other plotlines they tried to shove into this season. I don't want to sound mean, but I don't care about Will and Alice's business, I don't care about Benedict's boring relationship with another dArInG wOmAn WhO dEfIeS sOcIeTy'S eXpEcTaTiOnS (more on that later), I don't care about Cressida's redemption.

In fact, let's start with her. This was such a bad fucking idea. Not the redemption itself, though I don't know why some storytellers think there are no unlikable people in the world, why every woman especially has to be redeemed and forgiven. Some are just awful, they exist, it happens. It's okay to have scenes of our characters just reacting to these people and navigating kindness and forgiveness in spite of them. But anyway, working on Cressida's redemption in this kind of story doesn't freaking work. Why? Because we've seen this character put Penelope through endless shit already, and her season is not the season to work on her bully's redemption. Because Penelope already lost her best friend to this girl, and trying to redeem her now isolates Penelope even more, because instead of Eloise getting to properly realize how much she's lost in giving up Penelope as a friend, we're getting her genuinely bonding and getting closer to someone else. Most importantly, redeeming Cressida now doesn't fucking work because you have her and Penelope competing for the affections of the same guy.

You can't pit the girl we want to see win and root for against her bully for the affections of a man, and try to make us sympathetic for the bully. Are we not supposed to want Penelope to get him? Are we not supposed to root for Penelope? I get the idea of complex characters and relationships, but for the love of the gods, Penelope has been crapped on over and over and over in this series. I don't know about anybody else, but I got so excited when I saw her with Lord Debling in the promos because I thought, "Finally! We're going to see Penelope actually be pursued and cherished by someone else!" And instead? We have her embarrassing herself in cringey and awkward conversations against the bully we're also supposed to sympathize with? This was the show's chance to finally give Penelope someone who values her, but oh no, we have to show how tough things are for Cressida, so we have to make her actual competition who actually connects to Debling as well. So which is it, writers? Are we supposed to root for Penelope or Cressida? When Penelope wins, which is already unfair because she's had to bust her butt to get this guy so it's always her in pursuit, how are we supposed to be happy for her when Cressida is in the corner all sad?

Don't get me wrong, when Cressida chose not to gossip about Penelope at the ball, I was really touched. But the problem in trying to redeem her is that it works, which then creates a whole other problem when her and our heroine are then competing for the same guy!

Speaking of that guy; Lord Debling. I'm conflicted on him because I like how much he comes to learn about Penelope (arguably more than Colin does, but we'll get into that later), and I like how genuinely kind he is. But I hated seeing Penelope have to embarrass herself in front of him. I hated that we had to watch this girl who already feels like less than everyone else not even properly get this guy's attention for half the time we know him. Why did the writers think that would be fun to watch? I thought a majority of the time with him would be spent with Colin's jealousy, but even in those brief moments when Colin was jealous, it was from a distance, and we knew that in reality, those conversations Penelope was having with Debling were awkward and kind of degrading to her character.

Which brings me to my biggest pet peeve in this whole thing. The changes made to Penelope herself. Look. I'm not a stickler for accurate adaptations, okay? I don't care if the adaptation matches the source material so long as it's entertaining, which is why I enjoy the Percy Jackson movies more than the actual show. How I see it, we get two different, very fun and likable versions of a beloved story. So I didn't come into this season hoping it would be like the book, I just hoped it would be a good time. However...

Something I did appreciate in the book, and in the past two Bridgerton seasons, was Penelope's wisdom. She was hopeful with Colin, but realistic. She knew she would probably never be with him, but she was determined to be happy anyway. Lady Danbury even calls her something along the lines of the cleverest person in the room, and that's why she takes such a liking to her. Penelope is supposed to be clever, witty, amusing, and wise enough to know that even if she may not get everything she wants, she has her best friend and a guide in Lady Danbury and the small joys of being alongside the Bridgertons, and that was enough for her. Colin saw her for that wisdom and wit, saw the love and joy and pride she had in her work, saw that her priorities were the people she loved and the craft she'd perfected, and fell in love with her for it.

Here? She's the butt of every joke, she's a subject of mockery and dismissals, she's someone to be pitied, not appreciated. Yes, she was a wallflower in the book too, but she had at least a few supporting figures who she admired and helped her be happy where she was. I don't care SO much that they switched the scene of him finding out she's Whistledown, so much as the fact that they changed the meaning behind it. Her and Colin honestly spent so little time together because the show was trying to shoehorn in all these other plots, and so when he suddenly decides he's going to stop her marriage, it feels like he just does it because he's horny! In the book, he's impressed with the strong, talented, and passionate woman she is. In the show, I technically know that he wants to be married to his best friend, but the scenes I was most looking forward to with Colin and Penelope properly talking more and getting to really know each other aren't even there, so based off what friendly interaction had he suddenly learned to see her differently?

Finding out she was Whistledown was a shock to him, and it pushed him over the edge of his feelings for her. Not to mention, him finding out she was Whistledown told him so much about her as a person. Really think about it; what does Colin Bridgerton in the show know about Penelope? Nothing! Lord Debling knows more about her interests and what she enjoys better than Colin does! Knowing about Whistledown also gave him access to a secret part of her that no one else was privy to! Taking that away means that when they get married, Penelope knows everything about Colin and his travels and what he enjoys, and he knows next to NOTHING about her! So we spent the season with her being a joke to everyone, her having to compete for a guy and fail for a good long conversation, and then her ending up in a relationship with a guy who never bothered to get to know her? Fun.

In fact, why don't we talk a little more about Colin, too. Um. What the fuck was he writing? I don't care that it's sexual, but him describing Greek beaches and Scottish pubs in the book and interactions he's had with people shows exactly how grown he really is without him even knowing it. In the book, Colin hated being known for nothing but his charm. He even resented it and turned bitter when Penelope brought it up! He wanted to be more than that, he wanted to have a real purpose and be taken seriously and even be perceived more like Anthony. Writing about the landscapes he'd seen on his travels and his interactions showed that he wasn't just travelling to sleep his way through Europe, but that he was actually learning about new cultures and experiencing new worlds and lands. Here? He's just writing smut! In itself, it would be fine, except that he CLEARLY had a problem not having a purpose in his conversation with Anthony and Benedict and when Penelope praised his writing, so he does want the same thing Book Colin does, except... doesn't just writing erotica completely undermine his whole thing of wanting to be known as more than a charming flirt??

Not to mention, Book Colin ends up publishing his travel journals, so how's this version going to do that? You can tell us he's doing it at the end, but it will ring hollow because we all saw what he's been writing, so if they try to divert at the end to Book Colin's ending, it won't make any sense when we've already heard what he's written. In that time period, how the hell is he going to publish that? AND Book Colin ends up giving his stuff to Penelope to read once they're married because he wants her opinion on it! How the hell is that going to work, giving your wife your erotica with other women to test read? I know it could be done, but the charm of the book version is then gone because it feels like you've reduced a cultured man to a rake who just wants to gloat about how many foreign women he'd gotten to sleep with. Doesn't even that then undermine the whole flirty act he put on in the first episode when even Lady Whistledown could tell he was just pretending to be someone he wasn't??

I'm so tired, so I'm going to end this with a few final notes:

Why does arguably the most charming Bridgerton brother, Benedict, always get the most BORING storyline? I hate the woman he's with, there's absolutely nothing original or charming about her, and I am SICK TO DEATH of these so-called "quirky, strong women who don't care what anybody else says because they're edgy like that," it's just so cliched, and I need that archetype to die already. I thought they were going to do something with the fact that she's clearly a lot older than him, but they don't address it at all, so there goes that interesting concept.

Francesca's fickleness was getting on my last nerve, and I was so bored with her storyline until she met that guy. Their relationship is a cute and unique one, but before he shows up, nothing of what she wants is clear. She doesn't mind meeting a guy, but the second someone actually tries speaking to her, she backs off. She wants to talk about music, but when someone tries to speak to her about music, she backs off. I just couldn't get a reading on what she wanted.

I really don't care at all about Will and Alice's business. It's the same storyline every freaking season.

Eloise's whole "It's not nice when Whistledown writes about you, is it?" is very stupid because Lady Whistledown has written plenty about Penelope's family before that point (and in the book, about Penelope herself). You can't have Colin acknowledging that Whistledown outed Marina in the first episode, and then have Eloise forget that Penelope threw her own family name under the bus to protect Colin.

The carriage scene, I'm sorry, was cringey and came a little bit out of nowhere. And I really didn't like that Colin was backing away until, again, Penelope put herself forward. She's always the pursuer, and I'd hoped for something different this season. I also didn't like that she had to be dumped first. Like, yeah, let's really not give her a single break until Colin deems it time to actually do something for her.

That's all I've got that I can think of, at least in terms of negative criticism. I'm sure more will come to me later, but this was the big stuff. And I don't want to hear anything about, "But Rin, the season's not done yet!" Yeah, but half of it is. No matter what happens in the last four episodes, this was how they started. I guess when the cast said it was their most graphic season so far, they meant the most graphic for everyone but the main couple, and isn't that what you wanted to see?

[lakesbian]

How do you think Alec would have handled getting the Valkyrie treatment? Being made into a puppet in the same way that he did to other people, his sacrificial suicide being subverted by another cape who uses people as tools but in a much more complete and permanent sense, coming back wrong and having his cape identity irrevocably a part of his body and self, and no longer being able to take off the mask, is this anything?

see i've rotated this extensively in my mind before because i think coming up with how a cape's design would turn out if they got glastig uained is a really fun exercise (do that shit to lisa for some Fun eyeball body horror!!) but i'm struggling to come up with what would happen to alec :( the most obvious answer is the crown becoming like. Attached. to his head. but id ont know if that's too far out there. there's also the concept of having his face frozen in a permanent smirking expression but i feel like that would go Too tragically counter to the point of a 'surprise hes back again' au wherein he would be expected to. yknow. realize and experience some of his feelings again at some point. so yeah i'd need someone else to help me figure that one out.

anyway the actual experience of being glastig uained. if i recall correctly in ward brian says it was basically just like waking up feeling like everything from before he died was just a few days ago not Years ago so i don't think alec would care that much that someone was using his ghost or whatever for shit while he was dead, relative 2 all the other problems in his life. wouldnt even notice with the type of shit hes got going on. the big reason why this au doesn't really work is that it's just Wildly Unproductively Depressing. it seems like ciara only starts bringing random people back by the time aisha is like. what. 20?

it works Fine and Actually Thematically Interesting Well that brian is like oh FUCK youve GROWN UP when he gets back because it's relevant 2 their sibling dynamics. but it does. it does not work if alec gets back and aisha is like 20. it's just depressing. from alec's PoV it would be "congrats you've been brought back into a world where your best and only friend is too old and character-developmented for you to actually have a close connection with even though for you it feels like she was still your age only a few days ago and also your fucking shit ass siblings are here too and btw the world ended so all of the nice luxuries you were enjoying previously are not options anymore. go feed the earth gimel sheep boy." and from aisha's perspective her best friend would be back but in a monkeys paw way where he did not get to grow up with her and he's still little and sad and fucked up and more like one of his siblings that she's caring for/trying to help vs the equal best friendship she Wants but Can't Have because he is Fifteen. so now everything sucks and is sad for everyone involved. :(.

i would say "on the 'up'side this is a hot new contender for scenarios wherein lisa could feasibly decide alec is her new sopping wet fixer-upper" but she already has an even more absurd and unstable option (that one cop) so as usual alec remains background. btw he would be offended on taylors behalf that lisa had replaced taylor with victoria (who he does not like because shes annoying) and entirely oblivious that taylor had ever thought or said anything about him being sucks and utterly lacking in interiority. AUs that have potential to be funny wrt alec's interactions with the other undersiders but are wildly fucking depressing when you get to his interactions with aisha.

if we fudge a bit and say ciara brings him back like riiight after gold morning aisha would only be a bit over a year older than him so that's more doable in terms of character development and eventual reconnection but it'd still be a mess. i'm not articulating my explanation of how aisha's character development works rn and i don't feel like saying something wrong so i'll just leave it here but trust me it'd still be a mess. maybe an interesting one but a mess

[natsukashinico]

i’m so tired of ayumu being disregarded as the “annoying,” “petty,” “toxic,” “unlikable” leader of the love live! groups.

ayumu’s mere existence marks a huge turning point for the love live! franchise. she was our first leader who broke the trend of “genki smile-attribute girl who’s a ray of sunshine, but sometimes gets sad because not every day can be a sunny day. :(”

now, i love honoka and chika with my whole heart, believe me, but it’s so refreshing to break that formula. it’s such a breath of fresh air to have a leader who’s unsure of herself and her group right off the bat, who isn’t naïvely charging forward to chase her goals, hell, who isn’t even chasing her own goals.

ayumu doesn’t even particularly care for or want to be an idol, she just wants to fulfill her girlfriend’s (oh, it’s not technically canon yet? sighhh fiiiinneeee) “dearest friend’s” wishes. she is the first leader who doesn’t become an idol for her own sake or for her school’s, but for yuu’s.

she is selfish, she is petty, she is clingy, but she’s sixteen. like you were a saint when you were a teenager? like you weren’t just as, if not more, petty and unsure of yourself? please.

while honoka and chika highlight the wonderful impulsiveness and childish naïveté of adolescence, ayumu encompasses the insecurities, the dependency on others, and the desire to please others, even at the detriment of oneself.

… and honestly? for that reason, ayumu already immediately feels like a more grounded and realistic character. somebody that girls her age can actually relate to and see themselves in — insecurities, pettiness, clinginess, and all.

this isn’t even to say that honoka and chika don’t have problems — trust me, if you think that, you clearly haven’t read the stories in the games or watched the animes — but that’s all they are to them. problems. everybody has those, and frankly? the two of them resolve those problems rather quickly. they’re fleeting, inconsequential things to them. they solve their problems more like adults would, and take most things in stride.

(yes, i’m proud of My Girls™, how could you tell?)

ayumu’s problems are deep-seated. when something arises, instead of vocalizing her discomfort, she keeps quiet and internalizes it — we see her doing this at least once in every episode of the nijigasaki anime, up until it reaches a head later in the show with her confrontation of yuu. she lets things fester and build up inside of her until, regardless of how trivial they seem to those from the outside looking in, they seem like world-ending dilemmas to her.

in short, her problem-solving skills are nonexistent, not unlike those of most teens her age.

anyway! let’s all appreciate the love live! team for giving us more well-rounded, flawed, realistic characters in their media instead of hating on a sixteen-year-old for, well, acting like a sixteen-year-old.

TL;DR: stop hating on ayumu for acting like we know you acted at her age! teens are petty, insecure, and confused little critters, and that’s okay!

thanks for coming to my ted talk. 🎀

[happypanda101]

How Sakura’s Love Interest Ruined Her Character Development

Alright. I promise this is the last Sakura related content I’ll do for a while. But after seeing several other people on here talk about about this subject, I thought it would be interesting to discuss. This isn’t gonna be a full on analysis, rather my thoughts as someone who loves Sakura and was disappointed to see how her character was handled in canon.

I think a lot of the fandom can be agree that Sakura’s biggest flaw was her love for Sasuke. Love is typically supposed to be a character’s strength, but unfortunately for our pink cherry blossom, it’s her weakness. And her downfall.

Now, I’ve already made it clear what my feelings on SasuSaku are. I like the pairing, they could have been better developed and aren’t nearly terrible as people claim they are. However, it would be ignorant of me to not acknowledge that canon Sasusaku is… kinda shitty.

Don’t get my wrong, they have their cute moments in blank period, like Sasuke asking Sakura to wear the clan crest, but things start going downhill when they get married and the plot of Burrito rolls around. Sakura is left to be a single mother while Sasuke is off god knows where for that stupid space alien/ “remains of Kaguya” whatever plot. Sasuke never writes to check up on his family, it’s implied that Sarada doesn’t remember him at all or what he looks like, and Sakura is left there trying to assure her poor daughter that Sasuke is doing this because he loves them. But when Sasuke comes back, he rarely acknowledges or wants to spend time with them at all. Not to mention, he seems to care more about Naruto’s kid than his own. Naruto suffers from this problem as well, but that’s a discussion for another time.

For the canon endgame, Kishimoto certainly doesn’t write any of his characters being happy in their relationships.

Anyway, Sakura and her character development. It may not have been grand as her teammates, but it was still there. Sakura went from a naive girl that was obsessed with boys and her looks to someone who acknowledged that she had to work harder if she wanted to help and protect those she cared for. She went from disliking and envying Naruto to someone who was willing to throw her ninja career away so her friend could follow his dream. She wanted to help Naruto to bring Sasuke back, but realized she wasn’t strong enough, so she went to Tsuande for help and become a damn good medical ninja as a result. She became more confident in herself and was always there to support her friends. She never needed an epic fight or a tramatic backstory, I would say her development was pretty great.

But then all of that gets thrown away whenever Sasuke comes into the picture. Sakura may be able to stand up for others, but never does she stand up for herself when it comes to Sasuke. When he belittles her in the War Arc for simply asking him what was going on, she gets all quiet and sad. Defeated. Worst part is that Naruto can’t even stand up for her properly.

The kunoichi who broke off Kaguya’s horn and aided in sealing her, therefore saving the world, is left a begging, whimpering mess for Sasuke to come back to her, to come back to team 7. And what does she get in return? A genjustu of him killing her.

And just when you think oh this has to finally get her to realize that she can do so much better than him, or at least get her to step back and reevaluate her feelings, let her spend time away from him, it’s just forgotten about! Forget traumatizing and hurting her, it’s okay because Sasuke apologized and now she wants to go with him. Don’t get me wrong, I do think that was a genuine apology, but the fact that she was just expected to forgive him at the snap of a finger was infuriating. And down right sad.

It doesn’t help that nobody else comments on it, or tells Sakura “hey, what he did was pretty shitty, you didn’t deserve that.” Or stand up for her at all. Kakashi kinda did, but it was so weak.

In Naruto, a woman’s role is to support the men, because what else are they good for? And if they ever move on from a guy they like, they’re a “terrible person,” in Kishimoto’s words. Whatever improved or developed Sakura’s character, it reverted backwards or was simply forgotten for Sasuke. Because Sakura loves him, she can never disagree or argue or fight with him, because that would make her a bad person.

Sakura had the potential to become one of the greatest heroines in anime, but that was all thrown away becasue of her misogynistic creator and his idiotic editors. She deserved better, every female character in Naruto deserved better, and burrito should have never happened because it’s an abomination to the Naruto franchise.