#on vulcans

[agios-rio]

Here's the guide on AO3 (it comes with a complementary K/S fic ☆).

text version under the cut ⤵

Gods & Goddesses

Fai-tukh (Knowledge)

Tel-alep – “The Watcher”

The first wise god to ever walk on Vulcan’s sands was Tel-alep. He collected all available Vulcan knowledge & filled his library with carved stone tablets, vellum papers, incised bones & shells, colourful knotted cords. He gave as he took, & shared his collection with whoever wanted to learn. In times of conflict, Vulcans turned away from him, caring more for their immediate safety than abstract knowledge – & Tel-alep seemingly vanished. It is said he still watches all of Vulcan from the shadows & meticulously chronicles its history, as well as notes every advancement in the sciences.

Alep-tel – “The Bitter”

The second wise god of Vulcan was Alep-tel, who came to restore what was left of Tel-alep’s collection after the war that had led to it being abandoned by Tel-alep & the mortals. Piecing together what he could & collecting old knowledge to fill the gaps left by time, he spent a hundred seasons alone, caring for what he had inherited. When he was finished, the library opened its doors again to whomever wanted to learn, but the passing of time had placed it into obscurity – as the legends go, Alep-tel still spends most of his days in solitude, waiting for willing students, growing old & bitter.

Sochya (Peace)

Kir-alep – “The Placid”

Kir-alep ruled from his seat on Mount Seleya, overlooking all of Vulcan. He had the responsibility of ensuring peace throughout the sands & the oases alike, & he did so as well as possible. However, peace seldom comes & stays without sacrifice, & so with every change of the season, he chose & sacrificed some of the few who lived at the foot of the mountain for the peace of the many. Without taking joy in it, he upheld this practice to keep his people from destroying one another completely.

Alep-kir – “The Sullen”

Alep-kir was a mortal who climbed the stairs to Mount Seleya to demand answers for the deaths of his brothers & sisters who died in the sacrifices. Answer he did not receive, but instead he was offered godhood as a means to pacify him. In the hopes he might change the fate of the next few, he accepted. He stayed on the mountain to witness the deaths of the people below, but his mind was still ablaze with grief & anger over his long-gone siblings that he remained where & who he was, trembling but unmoved by the suffering beneath.

Ashaya (Love)

Valdena – “The Giver”

Love, joy, & beauty are what the goddess Valdena represents. She is usually portrayed as a Vulcan woman & is said to be the most caring of the gods – appearing as a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter, depending on what role she fulfils for whoever encounters her. Even though she is associated with all kinds of love, not just the romantic one, many legends about her have the (re-)union of star-crossed lovers as a central theme.

Dena-vel – “The Guard”

Dena-vel is the goddess of love & possessiveness. She seeks to hide the beauty of the world she loved to keep it from strange eyes & hands. She is said to have helped build the walls that once encompassed the city of Gol, where the best artists, sculptures, poets, & musicians used to live. As a fierce protector who knows little boundaries when it comes to fulfilling her duty, many legends about her are written in blood. 

Tadek-adir’es (Absence)

Kal-ap-ton – “The Mourner”

The Mourner represents grief & is said to be the most dangerous of the gods. Bound to his belt, he carries a pouch full of tears. He who meets him risks his life: The Mourner can take the weight off the Vulcan’s shoulders & allow him to weep to alleviate his grief, but not all of those touched by him are able to free themselves again of their emotions. Many of them succumbed to their misery & wandered out into the desert never to be seen again.

Tyr-al-tep – “The Unforgiver”

Tyr-al-tep is the god of guilt & regret over the death of loved ones. He is the one whispering in the ears of grieving Vulcans, telling stories of what could have been had the tragedy of death not occurred – stories of love & joy, of futures rendered impossible by the present. He leaves nothing in his wake that lessens the pain, only a gruelling feeling of emptiness & absence, cursing those who encounter him to live out the rest of their lives with feelings of shame & sorrow.

Vaikaya (Devotion) or Sa-kai-lar (Brothers)

Ket-cheleb – “The Destroyer”

Anger & rage are what moved Ket-cheleb to kill his brother, & those emotions are what he brings to all those who cross his path. His broad & rough hands carry weapons of all kinds, & he is said to often appear where he is welcomed the least – whenever there is no predetermined course of action to a conflict, no specific decision yet towards peace or violence, he will appear & tip the scales towards the latter. Many tales about wars from ancient times describe Ket-cheleb arriving at the first light in the morning & the last light at night falling over battlefields full of dead.

Cheleb-vel – “The Embracer”

If Vulcans had saints, Cheleb-vel would be the one of the black sheeps. He stands for acceptance & blindness & indifference out of love, even in regards to the things in life that are the hardest to accept. Without judgement, Cheleb-vel stands by the sides of even outcast & hated Vulcans, often being the only one to acknowledge their existence. It is said that Cheleb-vel handed his brother the stone with which he struck him dead in the vast red desert, & never harboured resentment for him in his last moments.

About The Practice

One way is to read the lines themselves, which stand for the qualities associated with the gods, though there is no absolute consensus as to which ones those are. As the result, the task of interpreting is left to the palmist herself*, leading to various different schools of thoughts within the trade (the entirety of which too numerous to list in this short guide).

Additionally to that, intuition plays a much bigger role in Vulcan Palmistry than it does in equivalent Terran practices. Since Vulcans are touch-telepaths, they can gain much more information from the skin contact itself as opposed to the mere placement of the lines. It is unknown what exact kind of information is transferred between the one who is being read & the one who reads, but the leading theory is that it comes from the subconscious of the one being read. 

*According to Vulcan tradition, it is custom only for women to learn the practice of palmistry. This text uses the appropriate pronouns to reflect that.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[ribombeee]

[whetstonefires]

Okay so, got here from a book on animal behavior but: Vulcan stand-up comedy as a competitive activity.

Because most Vulcans don't actually pretend they don't have emotions, it's all about self-regulation, right? And good comedy usually hinges on manipulating the relationship between our faculties of recognition and surprise in various ways, you can get pretty scientific with it.

So Vulcans go to the comedy act, and the idea is the comedian is trying to make you crack up, and the audience is trying to not even crack a smile, and if you do laugh, you lose. Like all in good fun, but Vulcans are both really competitive and really aware of how dangerous that urge can be to a society, so this could actually be classified as highly orthodox Surakian practice.

So of course the comedian has to actually be funny, or there's no challenge and the game is boring.

Which means the really good Vulcan comedians (most of whom tend to extremely dry delivery of their bits) are going to go around playing to packed houses, which mostly sit staring stonily back at them, with occasional breaks when someone loses it and reacts.

And after a show you'll have Vulcans walking out discussing with great approval how very humorous that was, with varying degrees of muted smugness or chagrin depending on if they won or lost.

I bet there are human comedians whose grandest fantasy is being good enough to do a set in Vulcana Regatta and have people going around bragging about not laughing at them.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[allgremlinart]

little peanutisms

[vulcanlovetriangles]

I feel deprived that we never saw these two meet, though they likely crossed paths at some point in their careers.

[iskander-tm]

Okay so actually copper based blood is colorless, unless oxidized and then it's blue SO now my hc is that vulcans bleed green blood but it dries into a deep blue

very quick very shitty visualization

And this is what we in show buis call a dramatic irony

[clown-alchemist]

i would never use logic. that's appropriating vulcan culture.

[lucifers-simp]

Honestly the fact that gloves are not common Vulcan attire is the biggest proof that they're huge whores on the inside

[android-and-ale]

I can not stress enough that in Star Trek, Amanda Grayson being an incredibly loving wife AND shitty parent is a feature, not a bug. She loves Sarek with her whole heart. And as much as she loves Spock, every single time she has to choose between them, she'll back Sarek. Spock grew up knowing his mom loved him, but that she also did not understand him and would never have his back.

Before people in the mainstream even had the vocabulary to describe what they were seeing, they understood on a gut level that Spock was a neurodivergent, mixed race adult son of two incredibly charismatic and successful parents.

There are so many layers of relatability here.

A surprising lot of people in very loving and devoted marriages aren't great parents. An unsurprising lot of powerful people with prestigious careers also aren't great parents.

Folks who grew up with parents who were great at their jobs and devoted to one another but who just couldn't relate to or understand their kids could see themselves in Spock. Moreover, he demonstrated that if they took a path radically different from what their parents wanted, they could become incredibly successful and even well liked in a whole different sphere.

Most of all, for folks who could see how much their parents adored one another but never felt like that love extended to them, there is something profound in the way Kirk looks at Spock like he hangs the stars in the sky. He's a source of hope that even if you grew up as your family's ugly duckling, if you get out from under their influence you can find someone who will perceive you as a swan.

[agios-rio]

Vulcan toddlers probably don't start speaking until they can form full sentences. Babbling is a little undignified for a logical creature

[papanowo]

just checking in

[vampire-rodeo]

sometimes when i’m bored i stare at a wall and imagine Vulcan Tiktok.

Vulcan mom vlogger puts foundation on her vulcan child so no one can see him blushing while he is still learning to control his emotions. a guy stitches the video barrating HER for being illogical- mastering emotion is a difficult task for young vulcans and stigmatizing it IS illogical. it gets 2.3 million likes.

Vulcan comedy videos of supposedly a man making recipes of Orion/Klingon/Human dishes except in every video they substitute ingredients until the video ends with Plomeek Soup every time.

Tiktok lives of lessons on The Teachings Of Surak and at least once an hour they have to respond to comments to say “no, Surak did not state that calling your ex is illogical, but that still does not mean it is logical”

Vulcan teenagers still do dumb shit just like Human Teenagers do, but now they just cover it with “it is logical to test the boundaries of logic, to further our mental o and philosophies.” and no one buys their bs but unless it’s illegal nobody cares enough to stop them

AMITA tiktok’s still remain extremely popular, just in a AMIIL (Am I Illogical) formula

[t00thpasteface]

talked about sharks feeling heartbeats in marine zoology today

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P