#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[rhys-daarling]

Gwynriel Training/Pinned Against The Wall Headcanon

Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie sat beside each other on a couch eating snacks, all of which the house had provided at their request.

“Nesta stop drooling and pay attention”. Gwyn teased, indeed, Nesta was staring directly at her mate, eyes slightly darker as she took in his shirtless form and rippling muscles.

A snort, and the three females knew Cassian had heard her, he flexed slightly more, confirming everyone’s suspicions.

“Of course I’m drooling” Nesta drawled, scowling as she watched Cassian’s arrogant smile. “How can you look at Azriel and not drool” the three females all snickered, watching Cassian’s face drop into a scowl.

“Jealous Cas” Mor teased, sauntering in and plopping down onto the couch beside Emerie.

Indeed, Gwyn turned her gaze towards the shadowsinger, his body broad and muscles rippling, skin gleaming with sweat. He was not as wide as Cassian, but with his shadows surrounding him, he looked graceful and deadly all at once- like an angel of death, Gwyn thought.

Gwyn followed his movements, the way his arms moved, and cleared her throat, quickly looking away, cheeks burning, turning back to Nesta and Cassian’s argument.

“You’ve had five hundred years more training compared to us, and yet we’re close to beating you” Nesta scoffed, looking towards her mate. A bald face lie the three females knew, Cassian and Azriel were close to legends, but still, their egos didn’t need to hear that.

“I think we’d be able to beat you, or come close to, anyways” Gwyn added, looking at Azriel’s raised eyebrows and smiling.

“Is that so” he drawled, arms crossing his chest.

The two Illyrians began prowling towards them, and Gwyn stood up and walked towards the shadowsinger.

“Pick Az, either you trained us well or you didn’t” she smirked, watching Azriel stare down at her.

He stepped slightly closer to her. “I know how well I trained you.” His eyes scanned her face, and Gwyn’s eyes gleamed and sparkles under his perusal. “But we’re better” he finished smugly.

“Humble, aren’t you” she teased. Their chests touching, her thin Illyrian leathers the only thing separating them.

“There’s a few things I don’t need to boast about” his wings twitched behind him. “But apparently you need reminding that I could have you flat on your back on that mat in seconds.”

Gwyn swallowed, her imagination running rampant and her blood heating, Azriel smirked watching her reaction, and walked past her towards Cassian, turning his head to look at her and smirk once more.

Gwyn sent him a vulgar gesture.

He smiled, opening his mouth to respond.

“Cassian put me down!” Shrieked Nesta, where Cassian had thrown her over his shoulder.

“Tell me again who’s stronger” he said smugly, carrying his mate as if she weighed nothing.

Gwn and Azriel laughed watching the two, whilst Emerie and Mor shouted ways for her to detangle herself, and the afternoon continued in much the same manner.

•••

“Train all you want, I’ll still beat you” Azriel drawled, walking into the training room at midnight. Gwyn stuck her tongue out at him, going back to her punches against the bag, shaking her head to clear the image of Azriel shirtless from her mind so she could concentrate.

“Feeling threatened shadowsinger” Gwyn raised an eyebrow, her punches consistent as she felt Azriel come towards her.

He grabbed the bag, using his strength to hold it steady.

“You’re at a disadvantage Gwyn” his eyes followed her body, slowly scanning every inch of her in her Illyrian leathers.

“Why’s that” she asked, breathless.

“I’ve seen you fight at your best- helped you get there. But you’ve never seen me”

He sounded so smug, Gwyn threw all her weight into the next punch, Azriel didn’t even falter.

“I’ve seen you spar” she wiped the sweat from her brow.

Azriel scoffed.

“You’ve seen me and Cass friendly spar, but that’s low stakes, no threat. You’ve never seen me fight”. His wings twitched, and his shadows swarmed, probably remembering the war and battles he’d fought.

Gwyn looked into his eyes, losing herself in her imagination, she could picture him on the battlefield; commanding, vicious, deadly.

“I can imagine it” she added, her voice breathless for reasons that had nothing to do with her sparring.

Gwyn raised her arm, and Azriels eyes followed his shadows that wrapped around her hand.

His eyes held hers for a second, and Gwyn smiled.

“Still don’t think it would be all that impressive” she added cheekily.

He moved away from the punch bag, coming to stand in front of her. He lifted his hand, his fingertips touching hers.

Gwyn watched amazed as his shadows swarmed and blended seamlessly with those wrapped around her hand.

His fingers intertwined with hers, and she watched transfixed as his shadows danced between the two of them.

Azriel smiled.

“What!” Gwyn shrieked, as her body was hauled. Suddenly, she was pressed against Azriel, her back to his chest, one of his arms across her shoulders, the other wrapped around her waist.

“Azriel what the-“

“Get out of my hold Gwyn” he spoke in her ear, and Gwyn shivered as his breath brushed her neck.

“What?” She asked, her brain fuzzy, fixating only on all the points where Azriel was touching her.

“You seem to think you could win” his hold on her waist tightened as she struggled to free herself.

“Use all that training, this is as basic as it’ll get.”

He turned his head to her other side. “Prove me wrong Gwyn”.

Hearing how smug he was, Gwyn scowled, willing herself to calm down, and looked down at where he held her.

“Good” he whispered.

She could feel every ridge and muscle of his chest, and she had to will herself to concentrate.

She placed her foot outside of his, and turning her body, she simultaneously elbowed him, and used her other hand to grab his arm at her neck, pulling down and away from her.

“Well” she asked smugly, waiting for his praise.

Azriel shrugged, and Gwyn scowled.

“Nyx could have gotten out of that hold, I’d hardly call it impressive”

Gwyn scoffed, and a plan slowly formed in her head.

“Let’s spar then” she added, eying the mat.

Azriel laughed, a booming laugh that sounded like music, like a melody Gwyn wanted to memorise and sing to herself.

She ran at him and punched, hoping she’d have the element of suprise on her side.

“Is that the best you’ve got?” He grabbed her arm and spun her round. She tried to kick his shin, and in return he grabbed her thigh and held her in place.

“You forget something Az” she said, balancing on one leg whilst Azriel gripped the other, he squeezed her thigh in warning. She was so aware of every point of his chest that touched her, of his fingers, her skin burning at the points on her thigh he held.

She elbowed him. Azriels grip loosened marginally, and with one leg she kicked up at his chest, twisting her body into a roll as she pulled away from him.

“Nice trick” he smiled, rubbing at his chest lightly.

“You let me get out of that didn’t you” she squinted at him, staring at the mass of muscles that lined his body, at the innate strength he possessed.

He smirked, and inclined his head, crossing his arms across his chest and flexing them ever so slightly.

“Again” she beckoned him, and with one last gaze at her, he ran at her.

Gwyn pulled her arm out, aiming for the flesh of his neck, but he was so fast, he grabbed her waist, flung her upwards as if she was a doll.

She free fell for a second, but then she was in azriels arms, one of his arms under her knees and the other supporting her back, he absorbed all the impact.

“That’s 2 for 0 if I’m counting correctly Gwyn”. He held her in his arms, both breathing heavy, this close he could see every freckle, and every speck of colour in her eyes.

He slowly put her back on her feet, her body sliding against his. She gripped his shoulders, and squeezed once playfully.

“Do I look like I’m giving up anytime soon Az?” She questioned. Azriels eyes raked down the length of her, slowly taking in every inch. The look in his eyes was not the gaze of a teacher assessing a students form.

It was dark, heated, and Gwyn gripped his shoulders once more, appreciating the corded muscle and the heat of his bare skin.

Gwyn spread her fingers on his shoulders, and before he realised what she was doing, applied pressure to a small joint between his shoulder and neck.

“What the-“ Azriel flinched instinctively, and Gwyn used his distraction to elbow him once in the stomach, and brought her leg up to his shin.

Gwyn bought her elbow to his side, hoping to throw him off balance, but Azriel had recovered from his slip. Before Gwyn could take a breath, Azriel had his hands on her waist,and flipped her so fast the breath was knocked from her.

Gwyn ended up on her back on the mat, Azriel caging her with his arms on either side of her head. “What just-” she was still recovering, her head slightly dizzy and even though Azriel had absorbed most of the impact, he’d still thrown her onto her back.

“Tap out Gwyn” he leaned in, his hair tickling her neck and cheek, the length of him against her, he was huge, and she felt tiny against the bulk of him.

“I’m being nice Gwyn” he smirked watching her stubbornly refuse. He leaned down even further, right into he crook of her neck, his arms flexing on either side of her head. “Tap. Out” he growled.

Gwyn, her head a mess surrounded by so much of the Illyrian above her, slowly let a plan form. “Never” she gasped out, her legs wrapping around his waist, twisting her upper body and trying to knock Azriel sideways.

He shifted only slightly, laughed once, and in the next breath, they flew to the wall on the opposite end.

“Cheat” she gasped, her legs wrapped so tightly around his waist, every inch of their fronts melded together. Azriel held both of her hands in one of his above her head. He pulled on her arms once, and her back arched off against the wall.

“I win” he whispered, dragging his eyes across her face, lingering on her lips.

“You cheated” she retorted, leaning her head slightly against his shoulders, her arms beginning to ache.

“Did I” he smirked against her, loosening his hold on her arms so it wasn’t punishing, but still holding her.

“One day Az” she looked into his eyes. “One day, it’ll be me who has you flat on your back.”

They were walking such a fine line. Even now, she knew what he was thinking, what they both were. What they were imagining.

“I’d love to see that happen Gwyn. But I promise you this.” She watched his throat move as he swallowed, felt the way his heart beat slightly faster against her. “I’ll let you think you’re winning. And then” he release a jagged breath, dropping his hold on her arms and gripping her waist instead.

“And then, just like now, I’ll have you pinned down before you’ve even taken a breath. But I won’t be kind and I won’t be soft. And that time. That time, I won’t let you up. Not until you beg.”

Slowly, he slid her down his body to the floor, and with one last look, they both left, the promise in his words filling both their heads.

[purple-dahlias]

day one- first meeting

wc: 1203 requested: no warnings: none

“Ready for your first lesson?” Ava asks, zipping up Isobel’s backpack and helping her with her coat on.

“Uh-huh,” her daughter nods, taking hold of Ava’s hand as the two head towards the car.

“So how was your day?”

“It was good,” Isobel nods. “We did poems today and Mrs Morgan said I could be the next Shakes-peer,” she tells her mother proudly.

“Did she now?” Ava smiles down at the six-year-old, pretty sure she had no earthly idea who Shakespeare was. “You think I could read your poem?”

“No,” Isobel returns simply.

“No?” Ava raises an eyebrow.

“It’s a surprise. You have to wait,” explains her daughter.

“I see,” Ava smiles to herself. “Well,” she says, helping Isobel into her car seat, “you excited for your first lesson?”

“Owen says Miss Reese is really nice, and she gives you chocolate chip cookies if you’re good,” Isobel relays to her mother, fixing her with a wide grin.

“Well we’d better get going then. Music?” Ava laughs, knowing what the answer would be. Lately Isobel had been playing Call Me Maybe on repeat, courtesy of Crockett who had introduced it to her, and truth be told it was beginning to drive Ava crazy. She’d be having words with him later.

The drive (luckily for Ava) doesn’t take too long, and soon Ava and Isobel are parked outside a neat looking house on a quiet road, the front drive planted up with all manner of … unlike most of the other driveways on the street, which simply functioned as places to park a car.

“Come on then, you ready to go?” Isobel nods vigorously, grinning as they get out of the car. Of course she was. She’d been after this for months, but it was only when Natalie had recommended Miss Reese that it had become a reality.  

The two walk up the drive and Ava rings the doorbell, while Isobel has a vice like grip on her hand, dancing up and down on the balls of her feet in anticipation, until the door is pulled open by a young woman, most probably no more than thirty, Ava observes, dark hair pulled back into a bun, a few loose curls escaping and dressed in slacks and a crisp white shirt, with a comfortable looking sweater pulled over the top, completing the look.  

“You must be Mrs Bekker,” Sarah greets them, shaking Ava’s hand.

“Actually, it’s Ms. Or Dr,” Ava interjects, then winces at how that must sound. Way to go, Ava, she thinks, berating herself for being so uptight and awkward.

“Mummy’s a heart doctor!” Isobel beams proudly, filling in the silence and looking up at her mother.

“I see, and you must be Isobel,” Sarah smiles down at the girl.

“Mhmm,” Isobel nods, happy to be known.

“Come on in. Usually parents like to stay for the first couple of lessons,” Sarah says aside to Ava, offering to take both her and Isobel’s coats.

“Oh I… wouldn’t want to impose.”

“It’s not an imposition at all,” Sarah assures. I’ve set some tea and things up in the other room. Feel free to make yourself comfortable,” Sarah gestures in the direction of the room she meant.

“Thank you, Miss Reese,” Ava manages a little stiffly.

“Please, call me Sarah,” the younger woman smiles.

“Well in that case, call me Ava.”

“Alright then, Ava.” Ava likes the way her name sounds coming from Sarah. Full and whole. And especially the way her mouth upturns when she says it. She allows herself to be shown into the room Miss Reese—Sarah—had indicated, and watches her turn to leave, before the distant sounds of Isobel and Sarah talking can be heard down the hall.

Alone, Ava takes in her surroundings. Just like the snippets she had seen of the hall, this room is warm and homely. Bookcases line the walls, and Ava makes out some of the titles, noticing the shelves of music neatly organised. A comfortable looking sofa and a pair of rather over-stuffed looking armchairs enclose a rounded coffee table on which a tea pot and a couple of mugs are found, along with an array of baked goods. The afternoon sunlight streams in through the thin nets against the windows, giving the room an airy feel. It feels very Sarah Reese, somehow. Even if Ava had only just met her, it all just seems to fit.

Still a little stiffly, Ava takes a seat. She’s not quite sure what it is, she just can’t help but feel self-conscious here in her daughter’s piano teacher’s house. It’s absurd, really, and she shouldn’t feel that way, there’s no earthly reason to, but all the same, she does. For the life of her, she can’t place why, why this would affect herself so. It just does. Nevertheless, she upholds Sarah’s offer, and pours herself a cup of tea, taking a careful sip and noticing its delicate yet fragrant flavour and subtle floral notes. Ava was by no means a tea connoisseur, but what she could tell was that she liked it, which was a pleasant surprise. Setting the mug down, Ava turns, rummaging around in her bag for her tablet and case book, deciding to take the spare time to work on her charting, figuring she might as well try and get ahead so she could spend the rest of the evening with Isobel.

“Oh, hey,” Ava looks up, noticing Sarah in the doorway. “I just came in to grab some snacks for Isobel. You know, she’s only had one lesson but she’s a real natural,” she smiles, picking up a plate.

“I bet you say that about all the kids you teach.” Ava lets out a little laugh, her eyes tracking Sarah’s movement across the room.  

“Nope. I mean it. What’ve you got there?” Sarah nods in the direction of Ava’s tablet, glancing at the angiography images Ava is looking over, squinting slightly to try and make sense of what the image is displaying.

“Just work. I’ve got a surgery scheduled for tomorrow and it’s looking like it’s going to be a complicated one at that.”

“Oh, you’re a surgeon.”

Ava nods.

“You know, they say piano players make great surgeons. You play?” Sarah looks at Ava’s hands where they rest in her lap, taking in the appearance of her long, slender fingers.

“I used to,” Ava smiles a little wistfully, more to herself than Sarah. “But that was forever ago.”

“Ah I see,” Sarah nods. “Can I get you some more tea?”

Normally Ava isn’t really a tea person, not ever, actually, but there’s something specific about the herbal concoction and being there in Sarah’s house that makes her agree.

“Sure,” she smiles. “Actually, I must confess, I hardly know what tea I’ve been drinking. Usually stick to coffee, myself.”

“Oh, it’s jasmine with green tea,” Sarah informs her helpfully.

“Well, it’s lovely,” Ava tells her, locking eyes with Sarah and privately revelling in the way it brings a blush to Sarah’s cheeks, though she’s not sure why. Ava’s just there for her daughter’s piano lessons. Nothing more. Nothing at all, she tells herself. And it’s just tea, anyway. It didn’t have to mean anything.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Together (1/2)

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 5985 (total)

Content warnings - HEAVY angst, tw: suicidal thoughts, happy ending w/ lots of cuddles

Prompt/Inspiration - self-indulgent comfort piece

Summary - Your year in the Devildom has come to an end, and now you are struggling to adjust back to life in the human realm. Meanwhile, Mammon is also struggling to adjust to your absence.

AO3 | PART TWO

***READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS***

It had been 3 months since you had returned to the human realm and left the Devildom. And things had been...rough.

In the course of one year, everything had changed for you. You had found love. Found a family. A place to call home.

And even though you would have given anything not to, you still had to go back where you had come from. You had pleaded with Diavolo to allow you to stay, but he insisted that you needed to return, at least for the time being. The whole point of the exchange program after all was to encourage harmony between realms, and that can’t exactly be accomplished if you never return.

To say you missed everyone would have been an understatement. It was harder than you could have imagined to leave behind the one place you finally felt like you belonged. And there was one demon in particular that you were having the hardest time adjusting to being away from - Mammon.

He had been your constant companion during your stay. And even though you both butted heads at first, you grew to love one another and quickly became inseparable. Everything you did, you did together - and that included any number of schemes Mammon tried to carry out. Chaos followed you wherever you went, but so did laughter and joy. It didn’t matter if you both got caught, that time together was priceless to you.

But now you were home, and you had never felt more alone. Depression wasn’t new to you however, so you were prepared for how to care for yourself and make do. You just hoped that you didn’t have to limp along for very long.

Texting Mammon was probably the only thing that kept you afloat most days. And today was no exception. You knew he had been having a rough time too, but he was still your rock and never failed to make you smile.

While you were laying in bed, mindlessly scrolling through social media, looking for memes to send to your favorite demon, your DDD chimed. Checking the notification you realized it was none other than Mammon.

>>Mammon - I love you >>You - I love you too 😘 >>You - what have you been doing today? >>Mammon - I dunno. Just hanging out in my room I guess. >>Mammon - I miss you >>You - I miss you too ❤️❤️❤️ >>You - why don’t you see what Asmo is doing? Maybe you could go to The Fall? >>Mammon - nah. Don’t really feel like it. >>Mammon - what about you? >>You - same old, same old lol >>You - just looking for memes 🙃 >>Mammon - Any good ones? >>You - not yet lol >>Mammon - I really miss you :( >>You - I know. Me too. >>Mammon - everything is so boring with you gone. >>Mammon - nothing is as fun without you. >>You - I know what you mean. I wish you could be here. >>Mammon - that would be nice. I’d never leave. >>You - good. I wouldn’t want you to. 😘 >>You - so...about last night… >>Mammon - yeah? >>You - you were actually upset that I didn’t call, weren’t you? >>Mammon - ….

>>

>>

>>You - Levi told me. He said he heard you sniffling when he got up to get some snacks. >>Mammon - oh >>You - why didn’t you say anything? >>Mammon - I didn’t wanna manipulate you. >>You - manipulate me? Lol Mammon it’s just a phone call >>Mammon - yeah but you said you were tired >>You - I would have called if I knew you were that upset. >>Mammon - I just didn’t want ya to feel pressured. >>You - it’s fine. It’s a phone call. Not like you’re asking for nudes. 😜 >>You - will you promise to tell me in the future? If you really need to talk? Let me decide if it’s too much for me to handle, ok? >>Mammon - ok

You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something felt...off...about this conversation. As wonderful as Mammon was to you, he was still the Avatar of Greed - so holding himself back wasn’t something he usually did. Especially not for something as trivial as a phone call. Why was he suddenly acting like a phone call would be such a burden to you?

>>You - I can’t physically cuddle with you, so at least let me be there for you over the phone. ❤️ >>Mammon - I love you >>You - I love you too babe 😘 >>You - you believe me don’t you? >>Mammon - lol yeah >>You - good. >>You - you better not forget it. >>Mammon - it’s just hard sometimes >>You - what is? >>Mammon - being away from you. >>Mammon - didn’t realize it was gonna be this hard >>You - yeah >>You - you ok? >>Mammon - I dunno. Just tired. >>You - 😘 >>You - you’re supposed to be coming for a visit soon, right? >>Mammon - yeah Lucifer said we’d take a trip, dunno when tho >>You - well I can’t wait to see you again. >>Mammon - me too. >>Mammon - I’m just so sick of all this. >>Mammon - I miss ya too much. >>Mammon - everything else is just...idk >>Mammon - I just want to hide in my room honestly and not have to deal with everyone else

The longer you talked with Mammon, the more sure you became that something was wrong. You wanted to ask him, but you weren’t even sure what to ask. It was like...everything he said echoed perfectly how you had been feeling. Withdrawn, lonely, isolated.

You were a very empathetic person by nature, but this just felt too real, too close to home. You weren’t even needing to imagine yourself in his position, because it was the very same position you were in.

As that thought occurred to you, a chill went down your spine.

It couldn’t be? Could it? He’s never said anything like that before. But…

You picked up your DDD again and scrolled back through your messages. You considered texting him and just asking him directly, but you didn’t want to put ideas into his head that weren’t already there. On the other hand, you’d never forgive yourself if something truly was wrong and you ignored this sinking feeling in your gut. So you decided the only thing for you to do was to say something.

>>You - sorry if this sounds weird or dramatic >>You - it’s just hard to tell since I can’t see you right now >>You - and I’d rather be safe than sorry >>You - can you promise me something? >>Mammon - what?

Your hands were shaking now, and you could feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest. Please, please let me be wrong , you thought.

>>You - if you feel suicidal, will you please get help? >>You - go to someone. Anyone. Levi would probably be good. He’s always there you know? >>You - I just have this feeling >>You - and I can’t shake it >>You - so will you promise me?

You saw the little indicator pop up letting you know Mammon was typing. But then it would stop. Only to return a few moments later. Your anxiety had become overwhelming by this point and you crawled out of bed and started pacing around the room, checking your DDD every 5 seconds to see if he had sent a message through yet.

The longer it took for him to reply, the tighter you felt your chest get, and the more your heart rate accelerated. You were in full “fight or flight” mode now, and the “fight” was making your thoughts race as you tried to figure out what to do next. Should you call Lucifer? One of his brothers? You just needed someone to check on him.

>>Mammon - I ummm >>Mammon - I don’t know if I can promise that >>Mammon - just the thought of it makes me feel sick >>Mammon - and like Lucifer would take me seriously >>Mammon - ha

By now, the only sound you could hear was the pounding of your own heartbeat in your ears. You were hardly aware of your own surroundings anymore, and there was only one thought on your mind.

I have to get to Mammon.

How could you do that though? Getting permission from Diavolo or Lucifer would take awhile. And how would you even explain that anyways without violating Mammon’s trust? Maybe Solomon could help? You had no idea how long it would take him to get back to you, but it was worth a shot. You knew he’d be the least likely to ask questions too. All you needed now was to buy yourself some time.

RING RING RING

“Mammon?”

“Hey.”

“Hey babe. How are you feeling?”

“I dunno. Just tired.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s been hard for me to get out of bed some days.”

“You too huh?”

You knew he had been feeling bad, but you were not prepared for just how...lifeless...his voice sounded right now over the phone. Suddenly you heard a DING and realized Solomon had gotten back to you, so you switched your call to speakerphone so you could continue talking to Mammon.

“I love you.”

“I love ya too.”

“I wish I could see you right now. I could use a hug.”

“Me too.”

>>Solomon - I haven’t heard from you in awhile. >>Solomon - Is everything ok? >>You - yeah, I was just wondering if it was possible to go visit Mammon. >>Solomon - you mean with a spell? >>You - yeah. I just miss him you know? And I’d like to surprise him.

“You know I’d miss you a lot if you were ever gone, right?”

“....yeah.”

“It’s true. I can’t wait to see you again.”

>>Solomon - Well, theoretically yes it is possible. >>You - but? >>Solomon - but doing so would take an immense amount of power. Something you don’t have. >>You - oh. Right. Duh. >>Solomon - what about summoning him? >>Solomon - that’s much easier to do.

“Me too. I just want to hold ya and kiss ya. I miss that.”

“I know. I want to snuggle with you too.”

“Yeah…”

“Maybe we could go somewhere you know? Just the two of us.”

>>You - how do I do that? >>Solomon - Do you remember the spell I taught you to summon Asmodeus? >>You - yeah >>Solomon - it’s the same one. Just summon Mammon instead. >>You - and that will work between realms? >>Solomon - it should. >>Solomon - since you have such a strong connection to him it will make it easier.

“I dunno know if Lucifer would allow that.”

“I bet he would if I asked.”

“Ha, maybe. He does seem soft on ya.”

“Of course he is. I’m just so sweet and innocent you know. Hard not to be charmed by me.”

“Riiiight. Not sure I’d call ya innocent. Sweet maybe.”

“Hey babe, I need to go for a bit so I can go to the bathroom. But I’ll call you right back ok?”

“Ok.”

“I love you!”

“I love you too.”

If Solomon was correct, even with your limited magical abilities, you shouldn’t have any trouble at all calling Mammon to you. You hadn’t tried to use your pacts before, but you were willing to try anything right now. So you began chanting the spell:

“HEAR ME DENIZENS OF DARKNESS! You who are born of shadow, and you who give birth to it. Hear me and do as I command!”

You felt as the magical energy began to gather around you, making your hair stand on end. It was working.

“I, MC, call upon you to send forth one of your number!

I summon the Avatar of Greed, MAMMON!”

The walls of your room began to shake, the windows rattled, when a bright flash of light filled the room. You brought your arm up to cover your eyes and hoped against hope that when you opened them again your demon would be there in front of you.

And he was.

Sitting on the ground, holding himself upright with his arms, was a very disoriented looking Mammon. His hair was a disheveled mess, his clothes looked like they hadn’t been changed in a couple days, and you could still see fresh tears falling down his cheeks.

“MAMMON!”

You rushed forward, without wasting another moment, and tackled him into the tightest hug you could manage. You buried your face into his neck, while you straddled his lap, crying in relief.

Mammon had no idea what to do. One moment he had been in his room, wishing he could see you, and the next he was in a strange place with someone who looked an awful lot like you hugging him and calling his name. But it couldn’t really be you, could it? Hesitantly, he sat up so he could bring his arms around you, fearful that when he touched you you would be gone.

But you weren’t. Your body felt warm against his. He could hear your heartbeat. He could feel your tears, soaking through his shirt. As he tightened his arms around you, he realized he could even smell your favorite shampoo, and that was all it took to undo the last bit of self control he had. He pulled you as close as he could get you, one hand around your waist, the other around your torso, gripping your shoulder.

And he cried. All the tears that he had been trying to fight off. All the ones he avoided having shed up until now. He cried them all. His throat burned and ached, and he was pretty sure he was getting snot all over you by now, but neither one of you cared. You simply clung to one another, determined to never let the other go.

After what seemed like hours, your tears had finally run dry, and your heart rate was slowly returning to normal. You could still feel the adrenaline in your veins, and figured that probably wasn’t going to go away anytime soon.

You pulled back a little to try to get a look at Mammon, and when he kept trying to avoid your gaze, you took his face gently in your hands and turned him to look at you. Those beautiful sapphire eyes. They were still damp with tears, and you tenderly wiped them away as they fell while you looked at him.

“I love you, Mammon,” was all you said before pressing a kiss to his lips. Soft, and comforting, and gentle. You wanted him to know how much he meant to you. You felt him try to pull you even closer by the waist, and smiled as you broke away to look at him again.

“I missed you, you know.”

“But...how…?” Mammon was starting to become aware of the fact that this was reality, and he was most definitely no longer in the Devildom.

“Solomon. Don’t worry. I didn’t tell him anything. Just that I wanted to see you,” you pressed a sweet kiss to the tip of his nose, causing him to smile.

“So all that about going to the bathroom…?”

“Oh ha. That was just me summoning you.”

Mammon pulled you closer, and you wrapped your arms around his neck once more. He really was here. You had him again.

“Hey, why don’t we go take a bath?” you asked.

“A bath?”

“Yeah. I love you babe, but your hair kinda looks gross right now.”

“Oh,” he chuckled softly into your shoulder. He really couldn’t argue with that. It had been a few days since he had showered. Since he got out of bed even, besides quick trips to the bathroom.

“Come on,” you said, kissing him on the cheek before standing and helping him up, “Let’s get cleaned up and relax.”

Taking your hand, Mammon followed behind you as you led the way to the bathroom. This sort of thing would normally make him a flustered, blushing mess. But right now all he could think about was how amazing you were, and how good it would feel to hold you again. It had been so, so long since he had felt your skin against his. And he was desperate for your touch.

————

Reclining in the tub, Mammon leaned back against your chest, his eyes closed as he focused on the sensation of your hands just stroking his arms and shoulders. Occasionally he’d feel your lips on his neck, as you peppered him with kisses. It was the most relaxed he had been in months, and he was on the verge of falling asleep at any moment.

Everything was just so peaceful. It was like all that anxiety, and loneliness, and fear from before had never happened. Like it was some sort of bad dream that he had finally managed to awaken from. He was now safe in your arms, right where he belonged.

You watched as a soft smile spread across Mammon’s face, the sight of which made your heart warm. You were so incredibly thankful that you had made it in time. If things had taken longer...if Solomon hadn’t replied to his messages...you didn’t want to even think about that. It was too close for comfort for you.

But now that he was here, you were determined to wash away all his worries. You knew it would take time of course, you knew that better than anyone, but at least you were together now and the stress of your separation wouldn’t be adding to his pain. Now you could just reach out and touch him when you needed some reassurance. And he could hold you close when he felt alone.

You knew by the time morning rolled around, Lucifer would have noticed Mammon’s absence. You wondered how long it would actually take him to figure out he was with you. Once he did find out, you were sure you would be in for a long lecture, but you didn’t care. He could yell and threaten you all he wanted. It wouldn’t make a difference to you. You had Mammon with you again. And this time, you weren’t letting him go.

MAMMON’S POV IN PART TWO

[princessrainbows]

Genuine Laughter

Title: Genuine Laughter

Warnings: Mentions of; Depression, Suicidal thoughts/attempts(maybe?) Alcohol intake. (The reader is the depressed one out of the paring!!) Mention of the reader’s Quirk being Teleportation. Ends with fluff

Words: 2k+

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now. Seeing so many of the Keigo x reader blogs that I currently follow rn, has hugely inspired me to write up a small drabble!

Paring(s): Keigo Takami | Hawks x Fem! Reader

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             Depression is like battling a 200 foot Dragon every day. It’s not something so easy to overcome. Many people don’t even know when  somebody they know have depression whenever it’s brought up in a conversation.

They’ll think that everything is fine and dandy, and that the person who mentioned the mental illness is trying to find attention when, in reality...They just want to be loved, cared for, and helped. They don’t want their thoughts to be true, they want to be saved from them.

So, when you, ever so casually, mentioned that you felt like dying one day to Keigo, it caught him off guard. It really bothered him that somebody  so smart and so powerful just...Wanted to give it all up. “Hey hey, what’s the matter dove? Something bothering you” He asked, noticing that you where....Off, and have been for a long while now that he thought about it.

       That night stuck with you. The fact that he picked up on your casual self-loathing habits of talking about death so casually like that, surprised you to say the least. Most of the time, people around you would either scoff or just ignore you, or Meme your mental illness, thinking that’s what you wanted to do since, that’s what you’d always do to hide the pain you felt all the time.

Being a hero isn’t that easy. Especially with a quirk as powerful as your own, your in constant demand all the time. Always teleporting everywhere to save people and give back-up to pro-hero’s who need it. And now that you where sought out by The Commission people who raised Hawks, you’ve become his body guard so to speak. Sure, he might be fast, but, you can match up in speed thanks to your quirk.

So, not only are you in high demand, you never get to catch a break! Hell, you didn’t even want the spotlight! So, this made you start becoming depressed. You where so busy all the time. You barely got any real decent rest, you hardly have time to yourself for a nice bubble bath, or read a cool book.

You did your best to hide everything from everybody. You’d play it off and fake-laugh with people that would question whether or not you where really okay or mentally sane at the time of the conversation/interaction.

         But, you didn’t take into account for Hawks noticing it. He noticed everything. He noticed your facial expression visibly changing with every minute of the day depending on your mood. He’d notice the way you’d get snippy at different people if you’d woken up to a particularly bad mental day for you. He EVEN noticed that one day when you locked yourself up in your bedroom at his place around 8:30pm at night. He heard your weak sobs underneath the blanket.

The man was like a Dog with his hearing. he heard and saw everything. But, he knew that if he asked, you’d joke it off and turn down his help.

It wasn’t until when things got REALLY bad for you was when he stepped in and demanded that you explained everything to him. You had three drinks that night after poppin’ in quite a lot of Tylenol pills for your severe Migraine you where having that same day. You just wanted it to stop so you could be Okay for once.

After some prying, you finally told him what’s been happening. You told him that you’ve been battling with Depression and your Suicidal thoughts for the past several months. You even mentioned that your PTSD was starting to act up again, which just made things worse for you in the end.

He didn’t show any emotion. he just...Stared at you, in pure shock. You’ve been battling this battle by yourself this entire time that the two of you have been seeing each other, you’ve kept EVERYTHING to yourself until you blew up and tried ending it all.

It terrified him. He didn’t do anything out of worry that he might make it worse for you, but also, he felt like he should have done something, ANYTHING to have helped! “...Oh god........I’m so sorry” was all that he could really say before you passed out from being so damn tired, drunk, and dizzy from the Tylenol pills you took that day. Falling right into his lap, all he did was let you stay there and fall asleep.

------------------------------------------

             That happened two months ago. You never really FULLY changed but, you noticed that you weren’t as bad as you where back then. Actually, you made a little chart marking down the Really Bad Days, from the Good/Okay days, and you’ve never had a single Really Bad Day since then. You’re days from two months ago to now have just been Meh/Okay and sometimes, even Good!

Today was different for you. When you woke up, it was around 11am, you felt...Light. Like as if you where floating in the air. But, it wasn’t a bad feeling by any means! Which lifted your spirits up quite a bit.

You reach to your cell phone and check your stuff, ignoring the majority of it except for Keigo’s messages (and selfies) and your Boss’ message, which woke you right out of bed! You blinked at it with your glasses on and notice a message from him: [”You’ve been invited to a Pro-Hero exclusive Gathering. Along with Hawks, Endervour, and many others. Dress nicely, and behave.”] Blinking several times, you groaned, falling back on the bed with an arm over your eyes, pouting in annoyance, “I hate fancy parties...” you sighed out loud.

Today was a really good day for you and your mental state. You weren’t smiling by any means but, you weren’t frowning either. You did your usual routine before heading out to work, since you’re with the Commission now and not some Hero agency, you’ve been given permission to have your own schedule (with the help from Hawks so that way he could keep an eye on you of course.)

“---And since I’m in a good mood today....I’ll give you a minute of a head start to try and run.” You say before grinning as you watched the group of bad guys try and flee with the stolen loot from the local store you where shopping at for a Brunch. “Too Slow..” You commented, teleporting right in front of them, grabbing the enemies uniforms and rolling your eyes as they tried running.

The police where called, and you where thanked for your efforts, “Wow! You look happy today y/n! Something happened?” The officer noticed your mood and commented on it, you shrugged, giving a slight chuckle, “Nothing in particular! I just feel good today that’s all~” you cheered before waving them off, seemingly having left them dumbfounded by your response.

           You had a really good day of just, doing whatever you wanted! Holding your drink in your hand with a small snack in the bag in your other hand, you walked by a clothing store with several outfits in the window. You noticed a very nice looking dress with a paired Tuxedo beside it, shrugging you walked into the store, you DID need a dress for tonight’s Por-Hero exclusive Gathering after all! Even if they weren’t your favorite thing to wear.

“Hi there miss! Welcome to our store! is there anything that I can do for you?” You where greeted by a worker who wore a very nice business suit, you took a pause from your drinking and looked at her outfit, “Actually...Yeah. Can I ask where you got that outfit? See, I’m heading to a fancy ball and stuff...But, I’m not that much of a Fancy Dress type of person.” You replied, gesturing your jaw at her outfit, as to not point since that would’ve been rude.

“Oh sure! We actually just recently added these types of outfits to out store so, we’d be happy to have a pro-hero wear one!....You are Pro-Hero Y/N correct?” You nodded in response, sipping on your drink. You followed the business woman to the stores selection and looked around...The shop was nice despite how cold it was.

It didn’t take you that long to find what you wanted. Coming out of the change room in front of the business woman, you stood there with a blows, a nice pair of black work pants, fancy black shoes, and a nice jacket to cover yourself with. Once you changed out of it and went to the cash, you purchased the outfit and thanked the woman for the help.

           You returned home with your now, not so hot Brunch and outfit in tow, getting ready for the fancy ball party for tonight while eating at the same time. You weren’t positive that you were going to have a good night but hey, you where invited! You couldn’t say no! Especially since you where in a good mood, you figured ‘eh, why not? Keigo’s gonna be there anyways so~’ and went with it.

A few hours had past, and it was time for the gathering. You rode in a somewhat fancy vehicle to the location of the party. Getting out of the car, you could already tell that eyes where on you. You ignored them, and thanked the driver and went into the building.

Using the elevator, you went up to the highest floor, which was a party room dedicated to pro-hero’s and their parties. You were slightly nervous since your mental state was still...Not exactly the best but, a lot better than a couple months ago. Putting those thoughts aside, you walked into the entrance area. You saw two doors both opened with two guards there, one stopped you and looked down, “Ma’am, this is a Pro-Hero party. Please show proof that you’ve been invited or we’ll have to remove you from the premise.” You sighed in annoyance, knowing that the guy was just doing his job. You pulled out your Hero License and showed it to him. He nodded and allowed you in.

Walking into the main area, you stood in awe, ‘They really went all out huh?’ You thought to yourself, staring up at the fancy decorations that seemed to blend in well with everything else in the room. You took in the atmosphere, not used to the Party life At All, staring off into the area as you listened to the soft music playing on the small stage area. “Wow! I didn’t think you’d show up of all people!” You hear a familiar voice from a loud woman behind you. Her grin was wide and she was excited to see more people coming to the party, “Yeah....The Commission had invited me over. I’m assuming it’s to keep an eye on hawks since he’s been invited as well...” You automatically noticed the wingless man near the farthest end, standing beside Endervour, laughing it up with the small group that gathered there for the night.

“...You know y/n. Most of the public knows your not a party person. Just imagine the press when they get a hold of this! ‘Y/N seen at a fancy Galla ball with Pro-Hero Hawks by her side!’ haha, they’ll get a good scoop for that one~” She chuckled, patting you on the back shoulders gently before walking towards the crowd giving them a wave. You groaned...You really hate the media being in your face all the time. So, something like this would DEFINITELY, be a pain in the ass to deal with.

----------------------------------------------------

                 The party continued on for the night, you talked and hung out with everybody at the party. You also did your job and reported to your boss at what was happening with Hawks, telling them that he was behaving well and having a blast. Once you sent in the report, you decided to spend the rest of the night with Keigo, walking up to the small group of pro-hero’s that he was telling a story too. “---And even tho I was trying to make the poor woman laugh, safe it to say, that didn’t help my situation at all. it just made the other’s more angry--” The group chuckled with him, and you just rolled your eyes.

The party went on like this for hours. By the time you where ready to go back home, it was around 12am. You and Keigo spent the last hour going home. He was just a tad bit drunk and a little bit silly as well, trying to handle him when he’s a bit drunk was hard but, you somehow managed.

“Hey.....Hey y/n....” He mumbled, trying his best to keep what little composure that he had left. “Yes Kei?” You asked, grunting while you placed him on your couch, grinning, he pulled you down into a cuddle, you didn’t mind it at all. Since you were quite tired from the party, having been out for a long time on your feet for the most part.

Keigo wasn’t really talking per say. He was mumbling random words in between some cute sweet nothings to you as he held you close to him. “Hey...y/n?.....” He whispered in your ear, first telling you how much he loved you...And then, telling you a silly joke that was, actually pretty funny! You couldn’t help but snicker then laugh in his chest, burying your face in it, you snorted off and on until you could breathe from the laughing again.

Keigo blinked in surprise. he managed to make you laugh.....Like, genuinely laugh at one of his jokes. He didn’t put any thought into it at all, he just went with it, and that made you laugh until you snort-laughed in his chest.

           This made your night. Just that one time with Keigo on the couch, making you laugh. You felt at ease, happy, even safe. You don’t want to forget this night, you want to cherish it for the rest of your life.

With Keigo being your partner, your depression and suicidal thoughts where a little bit easier to handle. Because you were no longer by yourself dealing with them anymore. You had Keigo to help. And you knew that this man would do anything to make your life, a little less painful to deal with.

[procrastinatorimagines]

Another Chance

Fandom: Chicago PD / One Chicago

Characters: Kim Burgess x Reader

Warning/s: none

Word Count: 2,135

Request:  Can you do a Kim Burgess imagine, were you friends with her since you were little and when you moved away she was crushed so when you come back to Chicago you ask her out on a date and it's really cute, maybe a picnic date in the park? thank you lovely

Kim was one of the first people you called when you found out your job was moving you back to Chicago. You’d been friends since you were little, practically inseparable until you’d left the city for college. She’d been crushed when you left, and you’d been crushed to leave her, it was like leaving a part of yourself. 

You and Kim had always just been friends, you’d never crossed that line, though you’d come pretty close once or twice. She’d visited you in college a couple of times, but then she’d become a flight attendant and you’d found a job near where you were going to school, and the two of you had lost touch.

There were still occassional phone calls, and birthday and Christmas cards, but you’d always thought of Kim as the one that got away, especially as you’d gotten older and started to understand the feelings that you’d had for her. 

Now you were back in Chicago, and although you had no idea how Kim felt now, or how she felt then, you didn’t want this regret to hang over you forever. They’d told you the Chicago position at your firm could be permanent if you wanted it to be, and you’d told them you’d give it serious thought, but you’d actually just wanted to check that there was even a reason for you to stay in Chicago first. 

Kim had sounded excited over the phone, but her shifts in Intelligence had her working late as your flight arrived on Friday, so you’d taken a taxi back to your hotel and thought about what you were going to say to her when you saw her in person.

You’d made plans to meet up the next day, at the park you used to picnic at as kids, and you spent way too long deliberating over what outfit you were going to wear to see her. It was ridiculous, she practically knew you better than anyone, but suddenly you were nervous. 

These feelings you had for her hadn’t gone away, even after all these years, but now they were right at the surface as you rummaged through your luggage for an appropriate outfit. 

When you had finally chosen some trousers and a nice blouse you looked back at your messages again, specifically the last one Kim had sent saying: ‘it’s a date’ to your proposed time to meet in the park. 

Your mind had gone to the obvious places and you’d had to tell yourself over and over that she didn’t mean it that way, but as you tossed and turned that night before finally falling asleep, you’d wondered if she had meant it that way afterall.

You had packed a variety of picnic food in your bag as you crossed the familiar roads to the pack, memories of your childhood and your time spent with Kim coming flooding back to you as you wandered around the streets of Chicago, it felt like you’d never left.

There was an assortment of the foods you’d used to bring as children, as well as the more grown up food you ate now, but the nostalgia had hit you hard as you were scanning the isles of the supermarket that you’d had to grab some of the kids stuff, for old time’s sake. 

It took you a second to spot Kim once you arrived, sitting on a picnic blanket under the same tree you’d both used to scale as kids. You knew why she’d picked it, you’d both carved your initials in it together when you’d graduated, as a reminder that you’d be friends for life, wherever life took you.

Your heart swelled just thinking about it as she spotted you heading over, her face lighting up as she rushed over to greet you, both of you nearly toppling over with the force of the hug. Not that you minded.

“God I’ve missed you, hi!” Kim said excitedly, wrapping her arms around you with a strength you didn’t remember her having, not before she joined the police anyway.

“I’d tell you how much I missed you too if I could breath,” you laughed as she let go, mouthing sorry but still grinning. You knew you had the same grin on your face, it was straining your cheeks but you didn’t care, you were so happy to see him. “It is so good to see you,” you told her, squeezing her arm.

“Gosh how long has it been?” She asked as she directed you to where she had been sitting, taking your bags off and taking a seat next to her on her picnic blanket. 

“Too long,” you replied, removing your jacket.

“Agreed,” she said, “well you look good anyway,” she added, looking you up and down. You didn’t think you’d changed much until you’d skimmed your old year book after you’d found out you were coming home. But it had been the better part of ten years since you’d seen each other face to face like this, and you’d both changed. 

“Thanks,” you shrugged, feeling a little bit of heat creep into your cheeks and hoping she wouldn’t notice in the sun as you added, “so do you, guess chasing after bad guys does you good,” she laughed. Kim did look good, you noted to yourself, and not just in her actual physical appearance either, although she definitely did. You couldn’t quite explain it, but she looked more confident, sure of her self... sexier? You shook that last thought from your head.

“Oh yeah, you definitely get in that cardio,” she joked, “how was your flight anyway, sorry I couldn’t pick you up,” she apologised but you waved her off.

“It’s not problem, really, you were busy keeping the city safe,” she had nothing to apologise for. You saw your initials carved into the tree out the corner of your eye and nodded towards it, “they wouldn’t believe us if we told them where we’d be right now,” you said, thinking back to the day you’d both snuck out late to carve your friendship in stone... well, wood.

Kim smiled fondly at the memory, “I definitely wouldn’t have believed I’d ever be a cop, especially not a cop in as high profile a unit as Intelligence, some of my family members still have a hard time believing it,” she said, tracing the letters lightly with her fingers. 

“I thought I’d be waiting tables forever,” you admitted, “I felt like I BS’d by way through law school and now I’m just some fraud pretending I know what I’m talking about in the court room,” you explained.

“Waiting for the day someone finally catches on and tells us we’re not supposed to be where we are,” Kim finished for you, glancing back at you with the realisation that you both felt the same way. 

She opened her mouth to say something more to you when her stomach grumbled, both laughing as you decided to get out the foods you’d brought to eat. As it turns out, you’d both brought the food you used to sneak out the house when you were younger, candy bars and chocolate that your parents had kept for special treats stuffed under your shirts and in your pockets, only to be shared with each other once you’d made it to your concealed spot at the top of the tree.

Neither of you were going to be climbing it now, but as you divided out sandwiches and snacks, and the bottle of wine Kim had brought, you couldn’t help but watch her as she poured. 

You reminisced as you ate, trading stories about what you’d been up to since college and laughing at memories of your youth together, your school years and misadventures. Kim had thrown a grape at you when you’d made a comment about her embarrassing middle school bangs and you’d returned the favour when she’d brought up your disasterous first kiss, and for a while, it was like it used to be, like you were the only two people in the world.  

“I’ve missed you Kim,” you said suddenly, after a little bit of a pause in conversation, your feelings and emotions getting the better of you as you reached out and squeezed her hand.

“Well then, maybe you shouldn’t have moved away.” She said it as a joke but you felt the jab, your regret about leaving her behind never really leaving you, even after all these years. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” you admitted. Kim blinked at the sincerity of your tone, both of you forgetting that you were still holding either other’s hands. 

“It hurt,” she told you honestly, looking down at your hands but not pulling away. You swallowed hard as she spoke, hardly daring to breath as you listened. “We did everything together, we promised we’d be friends for life, never without each other, and then you were gone.”

“I know,” you nodded, “I never expected... life to- to happen like this,” you waved your free hand around like that explained everything, “but it’s no excuse, I’m sorry.”

Kim met your eyes, silent for a second before she said anything, a sad smile on her face as she did. “It’s not you fault, not entirely, we both got so busy that we never really made time for each other anymore, not in any real way anyway,” she said but you didn’t respond, seeing she had more to say but was wrestling with how to say it, “it’s on me too, you might have left for college... but I took that badly, I’ll be the first to admit that now, and when I visited you and saw how much fun you were having with your new friends, I got jealous okay? It was always me and you you know?”

She looked away, a little embarrassed to finally be getting that off of her chest. You took a breath, she’d come clean to you, it was only fair you did the same, here went nothing. “Kim I- I always meant to come back to Chicago, but when we stopped visiting each other, and hell, when you started travelling the world, I didn’t see a place in your life anymore, at least not in the way I wanted, so I took the job at this firm because I didn’t want to risk us not... being the same when I got back, I thought that would hurt more.”

You hadn’t quite confessed everything, but you both definitely had a lot to think over as you sat there, wind rustling in the trees as birds chirped and children played around you in the mid afternoon sun. What you really wanted to tell her, but what you didn’t think you could, was that you’d realised you were in love with her, and the thought of her not reciprocating had seemed like the worse alternative to just not being in her life at all. 

It had been selfish, you knew that, but at the time it had made sense to you. But still, seeing the hurt flash on Kim’s face was reopening that old wound. You didn’t know how long you both sat in silence, still holding hands but both deep in thought.

Kim was the first to speak, chewing her lip selfconsciously. “When I said that I wanted things to be just you and me, I wanted us to be more than that, if that makes any sense, and seeing you in college, with your new friends, I realised that I was never going to fill that place in your life,” she explained.

“I felt like that too,” you replied, “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, it meant so much to me that... that I panicked when I started to realise the way I actual felt about you, so I left...” taking a breath you finally said it outloud for the first time: “I think I was in love with you.”

Kim took a sharp breath, but despite your fear, she smiled. “I was in love with you too,” she admitted, all the weight lifting from your chest as you felt like you could finally breath, “do you think we’ve missed our chance?”

“I think maybe we have another chance right now...” you suggested slowly, watching for her reaction, “I mean if-” You began, not wanting to be too forward or push her into a corner.

But your words were taken right out of your mouth as you realised that she was kissing you, pulling you towards her by your collar.

You’d thought about this more often that you’d ever admit, especially when you were first starting to realise your feelings, and to be kissing her right now. You leaned in, cupping her face.

You’d both wasted enough time, you weren’t going to waste anymore.

[hermannsthumb]

So I just saw your Halloween prompts! I don't think you've done this one yet so could you do "we hate each other but we were invited to a mutual friend’s party and were warned to be civil so you complimented my costume and fuck you, i haven’t changed yet"?

from halloween prompts here

ok I thought I'd get a little funky with this one and set it within the first year of them getting shoved in the shatterdome together when they’re just total dicks to each other. for reference this is the ABSOLUTE EXACT OUTFIT NEWT IS WEARING!!!!!

----------------

Newt arrives fashionably late to the party.

Well, it’s more just like late late. His date with a hot ranger hopeful went a little over schedule, so over schedule Newt had to straight-up bail on the guy before they got the check, which he felt bad about, and then he left his phone in the bar and had to double back for it (awkwardly pretending he didn’t notice his date chatting up another guy at the counter), and then he missed his bus and had to hail the most expensive Uber ride of all time, and basically didn’t make it back to base until well after he’d promised to appear with cupcakes. Newt spent a shit-ton of time on those cupcakes and basically sold his soul to get the ingredients for them (rationing, man, it’s killing his amateur baker dreams), so he books it to the break room with the tray without even bothering to change into his costume first. These are more important.

Everything is in full swing when he gets there. The lightbulbs in the overhead lights have been swapped out for purple ones, and the music is pulsing so loud Newt feels it vibrating in his stomach; tacky Halloween garland, most of it homemade, is hung from practically everything; every available surface not cluttered with bottles of cheap booze or chip bowls is cluttered with plastic Jack-O-Lanterns and dripping black candles. In short, it looks pretty fucking fun. Newt squeezes his way through the costumed crowd, rearranges a few candles to carefully slip his cupcakes onto one of the repurposed card tables in a place of honor, and resolves to make himself a drink with the first bottle of something he finds that’s not fruit-flavored—he’s earned it after his shitty night.

There’s a tap at his shoulder before he can make good on his promise to himself of a drink. “Yeah, whatever, I know I’m late, dude,” he shouts over the music. “It’s been a night. I—” He turns. “Oh.”

It’s not Hermann like he (admittedly, foolishly) thought, but rather Tendo, who’s already flushed a bright red, undoubtedly from whatever horrific purple concoction is in his paper cup. Newt wonders if it’s what’s currently foaming in the ominous black cauldron labeled Witch’s Brew next to the cheese dip. He’ll pass, thanks. “It’s about time,” Tendo says. “Gottlieb has been on my ass all fuckin’ night long about where you are. Go find him already.”

“Hermann’s been on your ass about me?” Newt says, eyebrows jumping. Out of everyone in this entire goddamn room—including the janitorial staff, who have had a bone to pick with Newt ever since his ill-advised kaiju eyeball experiment, and resulting explosion, that left the laboratory coated in slime for a week—Hermann is perhaps the very last person he would ever expect to give a shit about his whereabouts. It’s just that Hermann prides himself on not caring about Newt’s personal life, something he takes great care to remind Newt of at every possible opportunity, and Newt would’ve thought he’d have jumped at the chance to enjoy every Newt-free second to the fullest. He should know well enough by now that Hermann manages to find something to complain about in anything. “Why?” he says, and this time, he rolls his eyes. “Did he miss having someone to bitch at? Or bitch about?”

“Easy,” Tendo says warningly. He pokes his finger at Newt’s chest. “Try to keep it civil, boys, okay? I am not having you crush our chances of Pentecost approving a New Year’s bash with a repeat of—”

“Okay, okay,” Newt sighs, waving him off. He doesn’t exactly want a reminder of his and Hermann’s, uh, behavior at the somewhat disastrous Valentine’s Day party, either, or how tense the lab was for weeks following it. Well. Tenser than usual. “I got it. No fights. Where is he?”

“Hiding in that corner,” Tendo says. He gestures with his cup, splashing purple Witch’s Brew all down the front of his dumb greaser costume, and Newt squints where he’s directed; he thinks he can make out pale, sharp cheeks and the flash of a tweed coat. Trust Hermann to wear tweed to a Halloween party. He’s so lame. “Nice pants, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Newt says, distracted, and pushes his way through the crowd.

Newt’s surprised that Hermann even bothered showing up in the first place, and he can’t imagine he’s been very exciting company to anyone all night. The guy hates parties. Sure enough, he’s staring sullenly at his shoes when Newt finally reaches him, back pressed against the wall, soda can gripped so tightly in his free hand Newt can see the aluminum starting to crinkle under his fingertips. Newt doesn’t say hi, just sidles up next to him. Hermann doesn’t seem to notice. “How’s the party?” Newt says.

Hermann’s whole body goes rigid; when he turns to Newt, his lips have curled down into an ugly grimace, like he just ate a whole lemon or maybe caught sight of his tragic hairdo in a mirror. It’s good to see you, too, Hermann, Newt thinks. “Distasteful,” Hermann says. “They haven’t a single decent thing to drink anywhere.”

“Hm,” Newt says. He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I heard you were asking about me.”

“Hardly,” Hermann says with a scoff.

“I heard Tendo didn’t get a second alone you were asking about me so much,” Newt says. “What, did you miss me? I bet you just came here tonight to hang out with me, didn’t you? I bet you were all disappointed when I wasn’t here, and…”

“Hardly,” Hermann snaps. Newt grins. “My presence at this party is in no way affected by your own. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You were asking where I was, though,” Newt says.

Hermann’s lips contort again, this time into a thin line, and he turns a glare on Newt—though, Newt notices with a flare of glee, his cheeks have gone a bit pink. “I was aware you had…a date, tonight,” he says, slowly, “and—when you were not back by a reasonable time—well, forgive me for worrying that something may have happened to you.” His soda can begins to bend inward. “I wasn’t fancying the idea of having to tack on all of your work atop mine, is all.”

“Sure,” Newt says. He’d be touched, he thinks, if Hermann wasn’t the worst. “Anyway, look, I promise I’ll stay out of your hair—Tendo told us to behave ourselves. Just wanted to brighten your night real fast.”

Hermann snorts. “He warned me similarly. Well—in the interest of civility, I suppose I should compliment your costume.”

The grin vanishes off Newt’s face. Any feelings of good will towards Hermann—any sentimental feelings of companionability—that have been steadily building vanish with it. “Costume?” he says.

“Yes,” Hermann says. He waves his cane up and down, vaguely, over Newt. “Costume. ‘S better than mine, all I’ve got are some bloody vampire fangs in my pocket I haven’t even bothered to put on. You’re a clown, are you not?”

Briefly, Newt considers upending Hermann’s soda can over his head, or maybe indulging in a repeat of the Valentine’s Day party and using that whole fucking black cauldron. Instead, he just blushes and scowls. “Do you have to be such a jackass all the time?” he snaps. “No, I’m not dressed up like a fucking clown. These are my date clothes. A clown—that’s something coming from you, Doctor Sweatervest, you wouldn’t know fashion if it crawled out of the fucking Breach and stomped on you.”

Hermann looks mortified. Good—he should. “Newton—I didn’t—"

“Have a fun time,” Newt says, and storms off.

The thing about Hermann is that he’s a real square who knows exactly how to get under Newt’s skin, even when he doesn’t mean it; the thing about Newt is that he’s majorly cool and knows exactly how to get under Hermann’s skin, and he almost always means it. Newt thinks, if they were other people, he might consider them Frenemies, but he really can’t imagine a world in which Hermann would ever willingly be his friend, so half of that is a bust. Besides, Hermann’s not really his enemy either. He’s more of a…rival. Though it does complicate things severely when Newt takes into account how bad Hermann wants to get into his pants.

“That’s really great and all,” the guy Newt’s been chatting up by the snack table says, “but I don’t have any idea who you’re talking about.”

“It’s just like,” Newt says, “I know he wants me. I’ve caught him staring at my ass, like, twenty times in the lab. And when the eyeball incident happened—he was way too happy to strip me down for the emergency shower.” The event was very conflicting for Newt, too, to be quite honest, and he still looks back on it (Hermann, shouting at him and calling him an idiot, while ripping off his sizzling clothing) with a mixture of annoyance and arousal. He shrugs. “I just don’t know why he doesn’t admit it to himself. We’d all be happier. Can you believe he said I was dressed like a clown?”

“Uh-huh,” the guy says. “Look, Dr. Geiszler, I’m just trying to get some pretzels.”

“What?” Newt says. “Oh. Sorry. Here—” He uses a plastic spoon to scoop some out onto his new friend’s orange paper plate, and finds himself alone again very swiftly.

It’s not like the clown comment ruined his night or anything. It’s just that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it, once, or stop talking about it either, and every time he does, he feels angry and embarrassed all over again, and maybe sort of wants revenge against Hermann for it. He think he might know how to get it, too.

Hermann is lurking in the same place Newt left him, though instead of his soda can, he’s tensely nursing a paper cup. His name is Sharpied across it in his familiar scribble. Newt announces himself by wrapping his fingers around Hermann’s, raising the cup to his lips, and taking a sip. (It’s more soda.) “Hey, Hermann,” he says.

Hermann stares at him blankly; a familiar blush is making its way back to his cheeks. “Ah,” he says. “Hello.”

“What’s up?” Newt says. He scoots in next to Hermann until their shoulders touch; then, for good measure, he brushes his hand over the one Hermann has clenched firmly on his cane. He feels Hermann shiver. “You having fun?”

“Not—” Hermann clears his throat. He’s looking down at their hands. “Er. Not particularly.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Newt says, and (this time, settling his hand on top of Hermann’s) adds in a low voice, “I bet I could make it more exciting.”

The revenge plan was pretty simple. Preying upon Hermann’s obvious feelings for him, Newt would seduce him, get halfway through makeouts in some secluded hallway, and then pull away and be like just kidding! You suck!, announce he was going to find the sexy ranger he had a date with tonight who was totally into him, and go enjoy the rest of the party while Hermann—well, moped, Newt guessed. At least understood how Newt felt earlier. Except once they actually start making out, Newt realizes that’s kind of fucked up of him, and if Hermann tried the reverse (not that Newt has feelings for Hermann, obviously, but like—hypothetically), Newt would probably lock himself up in his quarters and cry for weeks. Plus, Hermann is apparently kind of awesome at making out?

“I take it your date did not go well,” Hermann breathes in his ear. “I can’t say I mind very much. Will you pull my hair again?”

Newt’s going to examine all this later. “Fuck yeah,” he says.

[hysterialevi]

Eitr | Chapter 2

Fanfic summary: In an alternate universe where the Raven Clan is wiped out, Sigurd ends up being rescued by the son of a Saxon ealdorman, and is tasked with being the boy’s new bodyguard. Upon meeting the boy’s father however, Sigurd soon realizes that the ealdorman is responsible for his clan’s destruction, and secretly plans for revenge while hiding behind the guise of a Norse pagan turned Christian.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male OC

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter | Next chapter

FORANGAL CASTLE, WEDENSCIRE

MORNING

Hurrying down the steps of the castle as her dress frolicked around her legs, Lady Edlynne rushed to catch up with her brothers before they could scurry off into town without her, and leave her at the mercy of Bishop Hundwerth once again.

Apparently, the head chef of the castle was in need of some trout for the meal she had planned for this evening, but instead of relying on one of her servants like she normally did, the ealdorman’s sons had offered to fetch it for her, and were preparing to leave from the main gate.

Unfortunately for Edlynne however, her name had been left out of their festivities as per usual, and thus left the girl at a disadvantage considering how she only learned of their plans mere moments ago.

But this time, she was not willing to stay back as she normally did. The dreary walls of the castle had caged her in for far too long already, and with Hundwerth constantly hammering his piety in her ears, the young noblewoman was in desperate need of some fresh air.

Jogging up to the main gate, Edlynne found her brothers conversing at the stable as they readied their horses for the journey ahead, giving them a light snack to start off the new day.

Her twin brother, Joseph, was currently sat on top of a rather wobbly looking fence with an apple in his hand, but seemed to fare alright thanks to his lean frame. He was only a boy of sixteen years and hardly stood any taller than his sister, but even then, some still considered him to be particularly scrawny for a nobleman.

As for their elder brother, Edric, his appearance was more akin to that of a soldier than a lord. Despite not even being thirty years of age yet, the young man already had his fair share of battle scars and sported a rough beard, giving him a much more weathered temperament than his father probably would’ve liked.

He constantly carried a sword around with him and armored himself with a black gambeson, but still made sure that the cross hanging from his neck was visible underneath the collar of his cape.

Both of them were a welcome sight to see after Edlynne’s many days of being trapped in the castle, but with the absence of their eldest brother Gareth looming over them like a stormy cloud, she couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sadness suddenly gripping at her heart.

“Joseph, Edric!” She exclaimed, running up to them. “Wait!”

The two boys turned their heads towards her, clearly surprised to see her face this morning.

“Sister,” Joseph greeted, “I didn’t expect to see you here today. It’s been ages since I last saw you out in the sun. Will you be joining us in town?”

Edlynne sighed out of annoyance. “God, I hope so. Bishop Hundwerth hasn’t dared take his eyes off me ever since I spoke of my interest in the Danes’ religion. He fears that their influence will corrupt me.”

Edric chuckled at that. “You thinking of converting to paganism, Edlynne?”

“Hardly,” she denied. “I will always be a Christian at heart, but I do not think it is wrong to have an interest in other religions either. How can we expect to resolve the conflict in our shire if we will not even attempt to understand our enemies?”

Joseph took a bite out of his apple. “Well, some people would consider that to be heresy.”

Edlynne crossed her arms. “Some people would see us at war for another century.”

The eldest threw a grin at his brother. “You hear that, Joseph? Wise beyond her years, this one. We should give her a seat next to father.”

Edlynne smiled in response. “You jest, but I’ll have you know that father has sought my counsel in the past. He spoke to me last night, in fact. Though... it’s not very often he actually listens to me, I’ll admit.”

Joseph hopped off the fence. “Well, whatever you do, just make sure he doesn’t hear of your fascination with the Danes. You know of his feelings for them.”

The girl’s expression drooped with sorrow. “Yes, I do. He’s changed so much ever since... well, you know.”

Falling into a state of heartache, the young woman quickly snapped out of her grief when she realized how she had dampened the mood and forced herself to push her thoughts aside, not wanting them to overtake her again. 

“But... let us not dwell on that. You two have a busy day ahead of you, and my chances of getting any fresh air dwindle with every minute Hundwerth isn’t near me. So let’s get going.”

Edric climbed on top of his horse, taking hold of the reins. “Alright. Edlynne, you go with Joseph. I’ll take my own mount. We’ll ride the path west of here, and cut through the woods into Agenbury. It’ll take longer, but the main roads are laden with soldiers nowadays. I’d rather not weave my way through them.”

Taking a seat behind her brother as he plopped himself onto the saddle, Edlynne wrapped her arms around Joseph’s waist and held him tightly as the three of them began trotting through the main gate, bidding the castle farewell.

It was a bright morning today, blotted with only a few clouds. The sun shone freely throughout the sky despite the residue from the recent storm, and thanks to the rain that poured on Wedenscire the previous night, a fresh layer of mist hung over the land, catching the light in a fashion that was worthy of paintings.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Edlynne remarked. “And also much colder than I remember. Though, that’s probably due to the storm. Still, it’s nice to be outside of the castle walls again. I can’t recall the last time father allowed me to leave. Thank you both for letting me come with you.”

“Of course,” Joseph replied. “I fear that Edric and I were also in need of some time away from Forangal. That’s why we volunteered to help Nelda. The poor old woman’s practically locked herself in the larder this morning, trying to prepare this meal for us.”

“How is Nelda?” Edlynne asked. “I’ve not spoken to her in ages.”

“Oh, you know her,” Joseph said sarcastically. “Cranky, old bat as usual. Still the same woman that used to chase us around the castle after we’d steal the treats when we were children.”

Edric butted in. “And then blame me for it.”

Joseph laughed at that. “Do you remember that one time Edlynne and I brought in that stray cat from the streets? And we accidentally left it alone in the kitchens? The wretched animal had buried its face in a meal she was making for father, and sent it spilling all over to the floor. I thought Nelda was going to butcher us all that day -- cat included.”

“Oh, don’t remind me. She dragged the two of you fools over to me later that day and shouted with a fury so hot that I could’ve sworn I saw flames on her breath. Gareth had to calm her down whilst we ended up cleaning the kitchen.”

Edlynne smiled at the memory. “Gareth always had a way with Nelda. He knew how to ease her temper.”

“Indeed,” Joseph said. “Though, I think he had that effect on everyone. Something about him always brought peace to other peoples’ hearts. He knew how to unify them in times of division, and comfort them in times of war.” 

A morose sigh escaped the sullen boy. “Things will... not be the same without him around. I know it’s been over a month since he died, but... I fear the wounds are still fresh.”

“Aye.” Edric agreed quietly. “He was a good brother to us all. And an even better friend. It was a tragic loss, the day he died. I think father’s taken the brunt of it.”

A sudden thought crossed the man’s mind. “Edlynne, you said you spoke with him last night?”

The girl nodded. “I did.”

“And... how did he seem? Did he seem better to you?”

Edlynne stuttered, unsure of how to describe their encounter. “I... I don’t know, to be honest. He appeared to be doing alright, but it felt like he was wearing a mask. As if... he was simply putting on a strong face for everyone else’s sake. Deep down though, I think he’s still hurting.”

“Of course he is,” Edric noted. “He lost one of his children. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare.”

Joseph raised a question. “What exactly happened to Gareth, anyway? I know he was killed near Grantebridge, but father has yet to give us any further details.”

“That’s because you would not wish to hear them,” his brother explained. “Believe me. All you need to know is that a clan of Danes killed him. The Raven Clan, specifically.”

The name was unfamiliar to Edlynne. “The Raven Clan? Who are they?”

“You haven’t heard of them? They’ve been causing quite a stir in Mercia -- killing kings and crowning new ones. From what I understand, they’re the ones who helped the Ragnarssons remove Burgred from his throne.”

“But why kill Gareth?” Joseph asked. “What could they possibly gain from killing the son of an ealdorman? Aside from a lifetime of conflict, that is.”

Edric sighed solemnly. “I do not know their reasons, nor their justifications. But you would do well not to get caught up on it. All that matters now is that Gareth is at peace. He was a devote Christian, and he now joins our mother in Heaven, forever to be at God’s side. He would not want us to sulk. So keep your chins up -- both of you -- and let us carry on with our day.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A WHILE LATER

AGENBURY

Finally arriving at Agenbury, the three siblings slowed down to a halt as the peaceful settlement came into view, decorating the flat horizon with a quaint series of houses and shops.

The quiet town seemed to be the same as usual -- lunatics and all -- and despite the hefty toll the war had taken on its people, everything appeared to be in working order.

The fisherman’s wife, Ardith, remained attached to her husband’s stall as always, and with the unpleasant stench of freshly-captured fish to start off her morning, the permanent scowl on her face only seemed to deepen.

“There’s Ardith,” Edric pointed out. “She’ll have the trout we need.” He climbed off of his horse, leaving it near the main entrance. “Come along then, you two. Let’s finish this quickly.”

Mirroring their brother’s actions, Joseph and Edlynne unmounted their horse before following the young man into town, hanging behind him as he navigated his way through the scattered groups of civilians.

Many of the town’s residents seemed to eye the noble family with a wary gaze -- which was uncommon for their people -- and the further they stepped into the watchful settlement, the more everyone’s voices seemed to lower into hushed tones.

“Is it just me,” Joseph whispered among them, “or does it feel... odd here today?”

Edlynne narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “No, it’s definitely not just you. The people here seem frightened. It’s almost like the whole town is... waiting for something. Do you reckon something happened before we arrived?”

“It’s most likely because of the war,” Edric assumed. “I know the conflicts in Wedenscire have had a rough impact on these people. Who knows what kind of horrors they’ve had to endure at the hands of the Danes? Though... there don’t seem to be any signs of a raid.”

Joseph disagreed. “If there had been a raid, we would’ve heard about it. This is something different.”

“I suppose we’ll find out, given enough time. Just keep your wits about you, and try not to alarm anyone.”

Carrying on with their plans, the three of them casually walked up to Ardith’s stall as the woman focused on organizing her collection of fish, stopping only to greet the peculiar customers that had suddenly shown up at her shop.

“Hello, Ardith.” Edric said, deterring the woman’s attention.

“Oh, good morning, milord!” She said in surprise. “I was not expecting to see you here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m just here to pick up some trout for Nelda back at the castle.”

The stout woman rested a hand on her hip. “Ah, I see. Normally, it’s her servants that come by, but I won’t turn away a friendly face.”

Her expression grew dim. “I’m... so sorry about what happened to Gareth, Edric. We received the news not too long ago. He was loved by many people in Agenbury. It’s such a shame that he had to depart from this world in so brutal a manner. He will be missed.”

Edric nodded in agreement. “Indeed. His death has affected us all, I fear.”

“And Aegenwulf? How does your father fare?”

The young man shrugged in uncertainty. “Hard to say. He keeps his head high and does what he must to protect this shire, but he bears the burdens of twenty men combined. I do not envy his position.”

Ardith gave him a look of sympathy. “Aye. But have no fear, Edric. Your father’s always been a fighter. Trust me. I’ve known him since before he had any grey in his hair. He will come through. I know he will.”

“Thank you, friend. Your words bring me comfort.”

Joseph jumped into the conversation, inquiring about the rest of the town. “Ardith, do you have any idea why Agenbury’s so on edge today? The town carries a strange mood.”

The woman nearly offered a response, but bit her tongue in hesitance. “Y-Yes, but I do not wish to burden you with our troubles, young lord. I imagine you’ve enough of your own already.”

Edlynne took a step towards the stall. “Please, Ardith. If something has happened in this town, we’d like to help. You’re our people, after all.”

Ardith let out a deep sigh and crossed her arms, glancing back at her house.

“I-It’s my husband, Wilfred,” she said quietly. “He went fishing at the harbor this morning as he always does, but... instead of returning with a sack of fish, he came back with a bloody Dane...!”

Edric paused in alarm upon hearing that. “What? A Dane? In Agenbury?”

“Believe me, I was just as shocked as you. Apparently, Wilfred found him washed up on the shore, beaten and wounded. By whom or what, I don’t know, but he already looked dead by the time my husband dragged him back.”

Joseph decided to ask for more information. “Do you have any idea who he is? Or where he came from?”

Ardith shook her head. “No. We’ve yet to speak to him. He’s been unconscious ever since Wilfred brought him back from the harbor.”

The boy let out an uneasy breath. “Father’s not going to like this. He’s been tense enough already ever since Gareth died. If he finds out that a Dane has infiltrated the town...”

Edlynne cut him off. “He won’t. Not yet.”

Her twin quirked a brow. “What do you mean, not yet? He’s the ealdorman, for God’s sake. He has to know.”

“We can’t tell him about this. Not for the moment, at least. If father learns about this Dane’s presence, he’ll have him killed for sure.”

Edric scowled. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

The noblewoman remained staunch in her belief. “Listen, both of you -- I know everyone’s still hurting from Gareth’s death, and believe me, I am too. But we could learn something from this Dane. He might be useful to us.”

Edric wasn’t entirely convinced yet. “We don’t even know if this man speaks our tongue, Edlynne. And if he does, there’s no guarantee he’ll help us anyways. You know the Danes. They’d rather pick death over dishonor.”

“Even then, I’d like to be certain of what this man’s intentions are before we start lopping off anyone’s heads. Let me speak to him, at least.”

Edric sighed in defeat, crossing his arms. “...Very well. If that is what you wish. But be careful, sister. We have no idea who this man is. And I’d rather we return to the castle in one piece.”

The young man turned back to Ardith, trying to calm the woman’s nerves. “Have no fear, old friend. We’ll speak to this Dane for you. He need not worry you any longer.”

She seemed pleased with that. “Thank you, Edric. I think everyone would feel better if we knew who he was, or why he was here. He should still be at home.”

“Then I will go there,” Edlynne said. “Joseph can come with me whilst you conclude your business here, brother. That way, we can get things done faster.”

“Alright,” Edric agreed. “I’ll meet you there once I’m finished here. Don’t do anything drastic before I arrive.”

The girl gave him a reassuring nod. “Of course.” She turned to her twin, beckoning him to follow. “Come on, Joseph. Let’s go see this Dane for ourselves.”

Allowing their paths to diverge for the moment, Edlynne and Joseph made their way to Wilfred’s house while Edric stayed behind to collect the fish for Nelda, clearly still unsettled by the strange turn of events.

He understood it was unfair to judge one Dane based on the actions of many others, but in a time of war, compassion and empathy were always a dangerous thing to gamble with.

Edric knew details about Gareth’s death that the twins didn’t. He knew how the Danes had butchered him and left his body for the ravens, and he knew that their people were not so easily negotiated with.

But still... he supposed he could let Edlynne investigate this Dane’s sudden appearance, at the very least. He may have been skeptical of this man’s motivations, but he could not deny that he was curious to learn the truth for himself.

And so, without another word said, Edric simply let the twins go about their business as he continued his conversation with Ardith, eager to get this errand over with.

Meanwhile, Edlynne and Joseph walked side-by-side as they approached the fisherman’s house, speculating amongst themselves about what this Dane could’ve possibly wanted. It wasn’t uncommon for a Northman to be in Wedenscire exactly, but Agenbury was a different story.

“A single Dane showing up on our shores...” Edlynne murmured, “what could it mean?”

Joseph shrugged nervously. “Nothing good, that’s for certain. I’m aware that not all of them are barbarians as Hundwerth would have us believe, but tensions have been rising ever since Gareth was killed. If we don’t sort this situation out properly, it could reach a breaking point.”

“Then let us make haste, lest it comes to that.”

Strolling up to the fisherman’s front door, Joseph firmly knocked on the wooden surface as the two of them waited for a response, silently observing the quiet house.

There didn’t seem to be much activity happening inside -- probably due to the Dane’s unconscious state -- and the only sounds they could hear were the rapid footsteps of a man coming to greet them at the door.

“Pardon my untidiness, whoever you are,” a gruff voice said from the inside as they moved around some objects to clear the way, “but I fear things have been rather... disorderly this morning.”

The fisherman swung open the door, revealing an old but lively man standing in the entryway.

“Now, then, how can I--” He came to a halt, his eyes widening in surprise upon seeing the twins. 

“Lord Joseph...! And sweet Lady Edlynne. Well, I certainly didn’t expect to see you two here today. I suppose this morning’s just chock-full of unlikely guests, isn’t it? What brings you to my doorstep?”

Joseph beamed at the elderly man. “Hello, Wilfred. Your wife sent us. She said you had a... Dane problem?

Wilfred scratched the bald patch on his head, sighing in discontent. “Aye. The poor bastard. I found him this morning, lying unconscious and alone. He was laden with battle wounds, and covered in blood. I don’t have a clue why the river shat him out in Agenbury of all places, but I wasn’t about to leave a man to die. Saxon or not.”

Edlynne admired his compassion. “Then you’ve already done more than most. Has he woken up yet?”

“Nay. He’s been out cold ever since I brought him back. He spoke briefly when we first met, but it was mostly out of delirium. Couldn’t understand a word he said. You know the Danes. Bloody weird language, they have.”

“May we see him?” Joseph asked. “We’d like to speak with this man ourselves, if possible.”

Wilfred stepped off to the side, granting them entrance. “Of course. Do what you wish. Though, I’m not sure if he’ll wake up during your stay here. He was in a severely bad state when I found him.”

Strolling through the front door, Joseph and Edlynne welcomed themselves into the cozy atmosphere of Wilfred’s home as they gazed around in curiosity, anxious to see what this Dane looked like.

Joseph had already met a few of their people during his time with Edric and Gareth, but Edlynne on the other hand, had yet to meet a Dane for herself. Aegenwulf often kept them at a distance when it came to interactions with his daughter, and now that he had lost one of his own children to their axes, the girl imagined he would only grow more protective.

“Look,” she said with a soft gasp, “there he is.”

Following his sister’s line of sight, Joseph spotted the fallen Dane sleeping on the opposite side of the room, seemingly undisturbed.

He was currently resting on a makeshift bed that Wilfred had created, and was wrapped head-to-toe in an abundance of bandages. He looked like he was still breathing -- for the time being -- but just based on the amount of blood that was already seeping from his skin, Joseph started to wonder if they’d even get a chance to see him wake.

He appeared rather normal though, the boy thought. For a Dane. His skin was etched with many traditional Nordic markings, and the red hair on his head had been shaved in a fashion common with his people. Meanwhile, his beard remained bushy and untamed, and the calloused texture of his hands told Joseph he was no stranger to battle.

“Friendly looking fellow, isn’t he.” The boy remarked.

Edlynne walked closer to the man, driven by her fascination.

“I’ve... never seen a Dane before. Father has always done his best to keep me away from them, but... he looks surprisingly human. Bishop Hundwerth always makes it sound as if they’re the Devil himself roaming the earth.”

Joseph took a seat on a nearby chair. “Bishop Hundwerth would call it heresy if one of his priests farted too loudly in the chapel. Pay him no mind.”

The noblewoman turned back to the fisherman, asking him more questions.

“Wilfred, what was he like when you found him? I know you said he was hurt, but... how hurt, exactly?”

The old man exhaled deeply, crossing his arms. “Let’s just say I’m surprised he was alive to begin with. He had two bloody arrows sticking out of his chest, and his skin was torn up from getting sliced so many times. I don’t know much about their pagan gods, but they must be a protective bunch to pull him out of that.”

Joseph thought back to their talk with Ardith. “Your wife said you found him on the shore?”

“Indeed. I assume the river carried him here from upstream. Possibly from the north. He crawled out of it like a corpse rising from the dead.”

“Do you think he’ll live?”

Wilfred furrowed his brow in a grim manner. “I... I don’t know, Joseph. I’ve done everything I can to patch him up, but I’m just a simple fisherman at the end of the day. I’m no healer.”

Interrupting their conversation, a knock suddenly emitted from the door, leading all of them to bring their attention to the entrance.

“That must be Edric.” Joseph announced. 

Allowing their new guest to come in, Wilfred stepped over the many items scattered around the house before opening the door, revealing Edric on the other side.

“Ah, hello, milord. Your siblings are here already.”

The young man poked his head in, greeting the twins with a new sack of fish on his shoulder.

“Well?” He said, walking into the house. “Have you two learned anything?”

Joseph shook his head. “Not much, I’m afraid. We’re fairly certain the river carried the Dane here from upstream, but other than that... all we have is speculation.”

Edric strode towards them, kneeling beside his sister. “Speculation won’t do us any good. We need to know for sure who he is, and what he wants. I assume he hasn’t woken up yet?”

“No. He’s been unconscious this whole time. We don’t even know if he’ll survive.”

Wilfred joined their side, offering his advice to Edric. “As I was explaining to your brother earlier, milord, the only way this Dane is going to survive is if you get him in the hands of a healer. I’ve done what I can to buy him some time, but... without proper medical treatment, I fear he may pass soon.”

Edlynne’s expression lit up with an idea. “Linette! Back at the castle! She could look after him. She knows what she’s doing.”

The look on Edric’s face alone was enough to make his disapproval clear. “What? You want to bring a Dane back to the castle? After what just happened with Gareth?”

“I know it’s risky,” the young woman conceded, “but he’s dying, Edric. He needs our help.”

“So do many of our own people.” He countered. “We need to save our resources for those we can trust; those who will fight for us. Not stray Danes that wash up on our shores.”

Edlynne almost appeared offended at that. “Brother, do you hear yourself? This man’s life is in our hands, and you’re willing to just throw it away? All because he’s a Dane?”

The older man fell silent for a moment, admittedly feeling somewhat ashamed of his words, but still obstinate in his opinion. 

“I know it’s harsh, Edlynne, but you’ve not seen the horrors that have occurred between our people and the Danes. We’d be foolish to trust one, especially when we have no idea who he is. There’s also the fact that we’d have to keep his presence a secret. Until he wakes up, at least.”

“I think it’s worth it if it means we can save a life,” she replied. “I understand your fear, brother, but what sort of Christians would we be if simply stood by and watched this man die? His being a pagan doesn’t make him any less deserving of our help.”

Edric grew frustrated with his sister’s naivety. “It’s not just about the religion, Edlynne. It’s also about the war. There’s no love lost between Saxons and Danes, and for good reason. How do you think our friend here is going to react when he wakes up in a foreign castle, surrounded by hostile forces?”

The young woman frowned. “And what if he has a clan? What if they come looking for him? How do you think they’ll react when they find out we simply left him to die?”

Joseph shrugged in agreement. “She raises a fair point, Edric. If we help this man and he turns out to hate the Saxons, so what? We’ll have a castle full of guardsmen fighting against a single Dane. But if we don’t help him and his clan comes looking for him, we’ll have an entire army to deal with, plus anyone who’s allied with them. I say we bring him back. How much harm could he do in this condition, anyways?”

Edric sighed in defeat, finding himself at a loss for words. He really wasn’t fond of the idea of bringing a stranger back into the midst of their home -- especially when that stranger was a viking -- but deep down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

After all, what good was he as a Christian if he was not even willing to help those in need? He may have distrusted the Danes for their crimes in the past, but on the other hand, he had no way of indicating that this particular man had any similar motives.

For all he knew, this could’ve just been some poor soul who had gotten caught in the crossfire, and left for dead. There was nothing that could prove he had any intentions of doing wrong by their people, and... perhaps it would’ve been cruel to assume otherwise without even giving him a chance to wake up.

“...Alright, you two.” Edric finally said. “We’ll bring the Dane back to the castle.”

Edlynne beamed with appreciation. “You mean it?”

“Yes, but this will not bode well with father.”

Joseph dismissed the warning. “Father is blinded by his grief. He’ll understand eventually.”

Edric stood up from the floor and handed the sack of trout to his brother, giving him a new set of instructions.

“Here, take this. Ride back to Forangal. I’ll bring the Dane with me, and meet you two at Linette’s clinic later.”

Joseph groaned in effort as he lugged the sack over his shoulder, surprised at how heavy it was.

“Sounds good. Stay safe on the way back, brother. We promise not to tell father about this.”

“Good.”

Bringing his attention to Wilfred, Edric took out a few pieces of silver and placed them in the man’s hands, giving him an appreciative nod.

“Here, Wilfred. For your troubles.”

The fisherman smiled warmly. “Thank you, Edric. You’re far too kind.”

The nobleman chuckled. “My sister would disagree.”

Making their way out of Wilfred’s house, the siblings finally took their leave from Agenbury and swiftly returned to the stables, eager to ride back to the castle. They had no idea how well they’d be able to keep this a secret, considering all the prying eyes at Forangal, but the three of them were determined to ensure this man’s survival.

He could’ve been the key to all the conflicts that had arisen in Wedenscire. So many fights had broken out in the past few years between their people and the Danes, that a part of Edlynne hoped their new friend’s presence would help to ease the tensions. 

Though, she couldn’t help but wonder if her elder brother was right. What if Edric turned out to be correct, and this Dane only ended up causing more trouble? Was it wise to trust a man so blindly?

Probably not, but that didn’t hinder her desire to help the wounded man. He was completely at their mercy in his current condition, and Edlynne did not have the heart to cast him aside, regardless of the risks.

So, with a nervous heart, the young woman simply followed her brothers out of town and prepared herself for the journey ahead, praying that it would not end in more bloodshed. She knew how adamant their father was in his hatred for Danes, and she hoped that he would be able to see past the grief that still held onto him so tightly.

Gareth would’ve vouched for peace, after all. He always favored the diplomatic route over unnecessary violence, and in light of recent events, Edlynne imagined he would’ve wanted them to save this man too.

It was the only right thing to do, Edlynne thought. And she did not intend diminish her brother’s legacy.

[jovialyouthmusic]

Lovelink Fanfic

Albert continues to make an impression on his Lovelink Match

Word Count 2395

A/N A smutty chapter, so No under 18s Otherwise, it also has fluff. If you like it let me know and I’ll tag you in the following chapters

4 Better and Better

As promised, I spent my day cleaning and tidying, hoping that Albert wouldn’t be kept too long by his family. I kept getting flashbacks of the previous night, and would have to stop what I was doing and let myself cool off. At two o’clock the doorbell rang and I ran to it, hoping he was back, although I knew it was far too early. I looked through the peephole to be confronted by a riot of colour, and opened the door to find a delivery boy almost dwarfed by a huge flower arrangement.

‘Special delivery Ma’am’ he wheezed. My front door was accessed from the suburban street by stone steps, but I didn’t think they were enough to challenge anyone with a normal level of fitness.

‘Thankyou – are you okay?’ I asked. He sneezed.

‘Allergies’ he grumbled ‘I hate delivering flowers’ I stared at him.

‘Then maybe you shouldn’t?’ I suggested. He laughed hollowly.

‘Can’t turn down work nowadays. Anyway, here they are’ He handed them over and almost ran back down the steps to his van, sneezing violently. I wrestled the blooms inside and took them through to the kitchen. The card read Looking forward to rushing your position. Prepare for action I laughed, my cheeks flushing. My phone pinged with a text message.

Did you just get a delivery?

Yes, thanks. They’re beautiful

So are you. Need to compare

Then hurry back, soldier

Yes Ma’am. Will text you when I set off

I smiled fondly and put the flowers in water and displayed them in my lounge by the window that looked out onto the little patch of grass at the front of the building. The rest of the afternoon flew by as I threw myself into the task of transforming my small apartment. I was amazed at how good the place looked, and wondered why I hadn’t made the effort before. Well, I reasoned, I hadn’t had Albert over before. I knew he kept his kit in good order and didn’t want him to think I was a lazy slob. At last my phone pinged. He’d told me he’d be eating with family and wouldn’t need anything, so that left the evening free for…

On my way Ma’am

Hurry back

Nothing will stop me

Safe journey

I showered and washed and dried my hair, deciding on another slip under my robe. When the doorbell rang I paused for just a second to check my hair before flinging the door open. I was in his arms instantly and he swung me inside, kicking the door shut, pushing me against the wall and pressing his lips to mine. We kissed frantically, and I pushed and pulled at his clothes until I found bare flesh. His hands went from my face to my breasts to my hips, finding the gap in my robe and fumbling for the hem of my slip. He stopped for a moment, breathing heavily.

‘How are you after last night? He asked ‘Not too sore?’

‘I’m ready for action, soldier’ I grinned. He grunted with satisfaction and went back to the job in hand, exploring my body thoroughly, pushing the silky fabric aside, hitching up my slip.

‘I like the way you dress, Ma’am’ His hands slid around to cup my buttocks, and he groaned in appreciation ‘No panties?’ he marvelled ‘Fuck’

‘Yes please’ I panted, and pivoted as he struggled out of his jacket and kicked off his shoes. We stumbled along the hall toward the bedroom, shedding his clothes as we went, kissing, touching, gasping. We stopped just short of the door, where he slid his hands underneath my hips to lift me up, and I wrapped my legs around him, feeling his obvious arousal and pressing myself against it. He still had his shirt on, buttons undone, and he’d dropped and stepped out of his pants and briefs. He reached for the bedroom door handle.

‘You said you’d ravish me in the hall’ I gasped, unwrapping my legs and letting myself down.

‘I did – but I don’t have any protection’ I reached into the pocket of my robe and  produced a condom. He chuckled

‘You thought of everything’

‘I had plenty of time’ He fumbled the packet open and rolled the rubber over his length before kissing me. Again I wrapped my legs around his waist, but this time we manoeuvred together until he started to stretch and enter me.

‘Oh shit’ I gasped as he buried himself deeper and deeper. Up to the hilt, he grunted and leaned into me, letting his forehead rest on my shoulder, and we stayed still for a moment, relishing the feeling of being joined again. His breath was hot on my shoulder and I could feel the wild beating of his heart. He withdrew slowly, and just as slowly slid back in. I moaned in ecstasy, clinging on tight and pulling him against me with my legs. He started up a slow rhythm, pausing from time to time for me to squirm and urge him on.

‘Fuck, you feel good’ he groaned ‘I don’t ever want to stop’ I arched my back against the wall and pushed my pelvis against him, my clitoris grinding against him. I whimpered with need and he started again, each thrust solid and steady. I could feel him trembling with the effort so I tilted my pelvis in time with his thrusts until I could almost see stars and felt the sweet build up of my climax begin.

‘I – oh fuck. I’m close’ I gasped. He let out a great groan, his thrusts losing rhythm, but it wasn’t enough to prevent what was happening deep inside me. The sweet rush of warmth and pulsing blossomed and built and ebbed and radiated outward. I was vaguely aware of his last few thrusts and groans and shudders, and at last we were still, hearts hammering and breath rasping, slowing.

He braced one hand against the wall and carefully withdrew, making sure the condom was safe and secure. I unwrapped my legs from him and slowly lowered them to the ground, trembling and shaking, arms still wrapped around his broad shoulders until I could support myself. I slid down the wall and he followed me to the floor, kneeling to get his breath back. We sat, me against the wall with my knees drawn up, he beside me angled toward me, stroking my cheek. I turned my head toward him, and he pulled back and kissed me, a sweet lingering kiss on the lips. I could smell his musk and my own sweat and didn’t care.

‘Damn that was good’ he murmured ‘Worth waiting for. We’d better go clean up’ He rummaged in his discarded trousers to get a pack of tissues out and carefully take off the spent condom before giving me his hand and helping me up. We made our way to the bathroom and stepped into the shower together, not resisting the temptation to make out in the tiny cubicle but stepping out and towelling off before we got carried away.

‘How was your Mum?’ I asked . He grinned sheepishly

‘I managed to keep things vague when she asked where I was going’ he replied ‘She could tell I was hiding something, but she didn’t pry.’ He held my gaze ‘I just want you for myself for a bit longer’ he explained, and I nodded.

‘Me too. How were your Dad and brothers?’

‘They were out on the trawler so I’m afraid I’ll be away tomorrow evening’ he grimaced ‘They like to take me out on the town when I get back, so I’ll probably have to stop overnight’

‘Oh’ I said ‘But family’s important’

‘So’s the state of my liver. I’ve hardly drunk anything for weeks, I’m a bit of a lightweight right now’

‘You’ll have to pace yourself’ I suggested ‘Drink plenty of water’

‘Believe me, the last thing I want this week is a hangover. I want to spend as much quality time with you as I can. I may only have six months of service left, but I don’t know where I’ll end up or for how long.’

It wasn’t late, so Albert dressed in jeans and t shirt and I put some cotton pyjamas on. I got him a beer from the fridge, opening a bottle of wine for myself and suggested we watch TV together.

‘What sort of thing do you want to watch?’ I asked

‘Nothing too graphic’ he said ‘I’ve been lucky not to have seen much action, but I like to watch more restful stuff when I’m off base.’

‘Right, how about a rom com or period drama – something you’ve seen before, or something new? Anything you’re waiting to catch up with?’

‘I’d like nothing better than watching something soft and sloppy with you’ he grinned ‘You choose’

‘I’ve not watched Bridget Jones for a while, how about that?’

‘Sure thing Ma’am’ We settled down on the couch, and I nestled into him, knees drawn up and wine glass in hand. He drank his beer straight from the bottle, and we sat quietly watching for a while.

‘Are you hungry?’ I asked ‘I know you said you were eating early, but I can get something if you like. I don’t really do TV snacks. I’d be the size of a bus if I did’

‘I like curvy women’ he teased, squeezing my waist. ‘But I’m fine, we had a big lunch’

‘What was the catering like when you were working?’ I asked

‘Nothing special, standard rations’ he replied ‘It’s nice to be able to pick what I eat and have home cooked food’

‘You were escorting some bigwig weren’t you?’ I asked ‘Didn’t you get to go to any banquets?’ He laughed

‘I’m not at liberty to give you any details, but no. Military escorts have their own supplies. It wouldn’t do if our VIP got sick from food poisoning and we came down with it too’

‘Huh, hadn’t thought of that’ We went back to watching, and before long I found myself yawning.

‘Time to turn in’ Albert said, and pulled at my pyjama top ‘Are you keeping those jammies on to stop me from having my way with you?’

‘They’re easily taken off – and why wouldn’t I want you to ravish me again?’ I sat up and turned around, straddling him and pinning him to the couch ‘Or it might be me taking advantage of you’

‘Take all the advantage you want. Ma’am, I’m all yours’

‘You bet you are, soldier’ I said, and leaned forward to kiss him passionately.

-------

I woke with the dawn, luckily without any nightmares or flashbacks. I knew instantly where I was, with the warmth of my angel nestled up beside me. Her face was peaceful, innocent, and her hair draped softly onto my shoulder. I had pins and needles from having my arm around her shoulders but daren’t wake her, so I lay listening to her breathe, enduring as my hand went numb.

My mind went back to the previous evening, when she had pinned me down on the couch and kissed me hungrily. Despite her yawning only a few moments before she was eager to make love, disappearing for a moment to fetch a condom before standing in front of me to strip naked. I sat watching her, my arousal increasing as she straddled me again. I lay back, letting her lead, only resting my hands on her hips as she unfastened my jeans. Before long I was exposed and ready for action, and I groaned as her cool fingers wrapped around my shaft. She backed up to lean down and press her tongue to it.

Being thick, it was a bit of a mouthful for her, but she did a good job at getting me fired up before rolling the condom onto it. She straddled me again, slowly sinking on to me as I gazed at her beautiful breasts. I couldn’t help but touch them, watching her nipples harden and leaning forward to take one golden areola into my mouth, teasing with my tongue. She moaned and gyrated, her wet velvety softness enveloping me. She rode me relentlessly, and I found it difficult to hold back for her climax, but we came together – a feat I had rarely managed with other partners, but which we achieved easily. After that she had climbed back off me and we cleaned up before making our way to bed where we both swiftly fell asleep.

Now, she took a sudden intake of breath and her eyelids flickered. I watched as they opened and a slow smile spread over her face.

‘Morning, beautiful’ I said softly

‘Morning soldier’ she answered back sleepily. I retrieved my arm and shook it to get the circulation going ‘Oh did I do that? Sorry’ she asked.

‘I’d rather wake every morning the rest of my life with a dead arm if you’re with me’ I kissed her cheek. She lay gazing at me, and I drank in the sight of her too.

‘What shall we do today? When are you going to meet your Dad?’ she asked. I sighed, remembering my time was still not my own. I loved my family, but I wanted most of all to stay with her.

‘Not till late afternoon, so I’m all yours until then’ I stroked her hair, drinking in the scent and sight of her like an intoxicating drug. ‘I’d be very happy just to stay in bed with, but I think perhaps we should get some exercise – some other kind of exercise’

‘Damn, I thought I could catch you out there’ she smiled ‘That’s probably a good idea. I’m a little sore this morning but I can’t help but want to go another round’

‘Have you forgotten there are ways of having an orgasm without penetration? I seem to remember you quite enjoyed it first time round’ I referred to when I had arrived the day before yesterday, when I had used my lips and tongue and fingers to bring her to her first wild (and noisy) climax. If my hair had been long enough for her to pull, I thought to myself, I’d probably have lost a patch or two.

‘Ohhhh soldier’ she purred ‘I think you might have to remind me.’

@kittidot @bobasheebaby @jaxsmutsuo @ramseyswifey @otakufangirl-12​ @mostly-tessaandscott @aestheticallypleasing5sos @sunflowy @celiamcg @basicallysailormars @fabi-en-ciel @rdjcoldplay @cyn-onlyyou @american-satanxx @exxtrastout @callmeluna7 @theclowneryqueen​ @speedyoperarascalparty @katedrakeohd

[echoeternally]

For Blunder or Worse

Gosh, how long has it been since I updated a one-shot related to my Pokemon stories? Been a minute, hasn’t it? Welp. Let’s fix that!

I wanted to get a story written up and out to provide some shenanigans for Poliwrath and Politoed, since I wanted them to have a silly little story of their own, considering that, well...you know.

So, something lighthearted for them to walk away on instead!

And by that, I mean the two of them absolutely whaling on each other instead, as they drag the Empire down with them. Such fun!

Loosely based on an old ask that I got on my askblog. It takes place before the fanfic story, Melting Gelid Roses, however. 

Plus it gives a cute little inside look to earlier days of the Iceberg Empire as well, or at least, a brief visit to some familiar faces with the two.

Just some silly fun to explore the two that I’ll eventually be adding onto the Scattered Petals collection on the archives as well.

The story is below the cut, so please click it and read on to enjoy!

...

...

Along the bridge outside of the Iceberg Palace, General Abomasnow inhaled and held a breath. He squeezed his eyes shut and slowly opened them back up. Splashing and smacking sounded from below him in the waters. Two frogs battled with one another, swinging their arms and flailing about the moat.

 “That was clearly meant to be for me,” snapped the round green toad, slapping a spray of water at the other.

 “In what world, you nitwit?!” The bulky blue frog hammered down one the water, as the green one swam back.

 Abomasnow heavily exhaled and slouched, rolling his eyes as the two squabbled before the bridge.

 “The markers were obviously white, Poliwrath!”

 “No, it was silver, which was for me!” Poliwrath waved a finger back and forth. “Clearly, you need to pay more attention, Politoed.”

 “Are you blind?!”

 “You’re just mad because I got more targets.”

 “Blind and delusional!”

 “Enough,” boomed Abomasnow, as he folded his arms. “You two were supposed to be cooperating to complete this training session.” He surveyed the floating targets in the water, some broken, but others still standing. “This is your fifth row with one another today. How can it be that you both can sometimes work together decently, but the rest of the time you just blow up on each other?”

 “Because Politoed clearly doesn’t know how to follow your instructions, sire,” mocked Poliwrath.

 “What?! You’re the dolt that couldn’t even follow your own targets!”

 “Did you just call me a dolt?!”

 “Duh, you are one,” fired off Politoed. “And you called me a nitwit anyway!”

 “You absolutely are one!”

 “Not as much as you are!”

 Bickering and swinging at each other again, the frogs battled with each other again. Abomasnow deflated as he buried his head and shook it.

 “Brothers…”

 He picked himself back up and walked off, not bothering to listen to the remainder of the quarrel.

 Twenty minutes later, the twins dragged themselves from the moat and stormed back inside the palace, still hissing at each other as they marched in. Three bears sat on the stairs, watching the two escalated their argument back and forth, rapidly increasing in volume as they carried on.

 “Do they ever stop?” Beartic leaned back on the steps. “It’s been like this all day.”

 “Makes sense why Abomasnow was ready to rip his roots out,” joked Pangoro.

 “Maybe we should go get some snacks before the Emperor shows up,” suggested Ursaring, pulling himself up on the railing.

 “Sounds like a plan!”

 “Yes, we’d better.”

 From behind the stairwell, however, doors from the throne room slammed open. Each of the knights jumped and fumbled in place, struggling to get themselves at attention.

 “Uh-oh,” uttered Ursaring.

 Emperor Empoleon strode around the corner and glared down at Poliwrath and Politoed, who flailed about before bowing down before the large penguin.

 “Emperor!”

 “Sire!”

 “Oh, don’t bother with formalities at this point,” thundered Empoleon. “Just what the blazes have you two stormed into this time?!”

 “Sir, we were training—”

 “Yes, I had General Abomasnow vent to me not even five minutes ago,” informed Empoleon. “He’s beyond fed up with trying to work with you two, as you’re near incapable of even tolerating one another.”

 “With all due respect—”

 “Now you want to bring that up?” Empoleon forced out a sharp laugh. “You’ve hardly respected your superior all day, and now you’re looking to address it? Nonsense!” He stomped down as the brothers fumbled back and clung to one another. “Honestly, you both need to be capable of cooperating with your fellow knights, and that most definitely includes each other!” Empoleon lifted his wings to his head, massaging his temples with his claws. “All that your arguing has left anyone with is a pounding headache! I’ve important research to attend to, and I haven’t the time to waste lecturing my knights instead!”

 “We’re sorry, sire,” mumbled the twins.

 “Hmph. I should hope so.” Emperor Empoleon shook his head. “At least attempt to better yourselves soon, or I shall have to think of new ways for you two to serve me.” He narrowed his gaze over them. “Clearly, if you’re not capable of developing a symbiotic relationship with one another, you won’t work well with others overall. But I’ll see to that later.”

 Striding past the two and making his way for the stairs, Empoleon folded his wings behind his back, as the three bears scrambled from his path. They bumped into the railing and bowed down as Empoleon briskly marched upstairs, making his way to the palace library.

 The brothers and the bears looked to one another, as they slowly relaxed from their enraged emperor’s outburst. Each of the bears smirked as the brothers glanced down and wandered out of the room, not wanting to hear any mockery that the trio thought up.

 Entering the next corridor, the brothers shoved the door shut behind them and sighed.

 “Hmm…sounds like you two really annoyed the Emperor…”

 Jumping at the interrupting voice, the twins settled as they spotted Quagsire, who licked his lips and then yawned.

 “Yeah, we did a pretty good job of it this time,” murmured Politoed. “Though we were hoping to avoid getting into it anymore…”

 “What are you doing here anyway, Quagsire?” Poliwrath folded his arms. “Thought you’d be napping at this point.”

 “Ah, I was on a break to have a snack,” revealed Quagsire. He patted his stomach. “Pretty sure that at least Ursaring will want some too, so I made plenty…”

 “Huh, well, that was nice of you,” noted Poliwrath.

 “If my stomach wasn’t tied up in knots right now, I’d want something to eat,” piped up Politoed.

 “There’s plenty; made a cake and some fruity desserts to go with it.” Quagsire yawned. “Wish I could go nap now…”

 “Why don’t you?”

 “Didn’t finish helping out.”

 “Helping with what?”

 “Mmm…this way…”

 Pivoting around, Quagsire wandered down the hall. Poliwrath and Politoed looked at one another, shrugged, and then hurried down the hall after the sleepy salamander knight.

 As they rounded the corner, they listened to another conversation going on.

 “…It’s been two hours already,” insisted the first voice. “We’ve tried, but we should really take a break too.”

 “Please, it’s really important that I find it,” begged the second. “Isn’t that Shell Bell of yours important too?”

 “Of course it is, and believe me, I definitely know what you’re going through.” The brothers peeked around the next corner, and spotted a blue sea turtle rubbing behind his head. “But Quagsire went to take a break more than twenty minutes ago. We should do the same, and then we’ll be recharged to keep going.”

 “Well…maybe…”

 Both Politoed and Poliwrath tightened their grip against the wall, eying the purple and white stoat that stood opposite to the turtle. They started cackling and slid back behind the corner, while Quagsire tilted his head and studied the two.

 “Wow, that’s the new knight!” Politoed clasped his hands together and wiggled around. “She’s so cute and pretty!”

 “…Uh…huh? She?”

 “Yeah, we have to go talk with her this time!” Poliwrath rubbed his hands together. “I feel like she’d be open to chatting and then some!”

 “Um…”

 Before Quagsire could add anything else, the brothers bounced from behind the wall and hurried down the corridor to the debating pair.

 “Carracosta, if we can just search five more minutes—”

 “Hey, hey, you’re the new knight around here, aren’t you?” Poliwrath lifted his fist to his chest, straightening up more as the stoat blinked and the turtle turned.

 “Ah…yes?”

 “It’s so nice to stumble upon you, ma’am!” Politoed held out his hand as the stoat frowned. “My name is Politoed, pleasure to reacquaint with you!”

 “What?!” Poliwrath smacked his brother. “Don’t you cozy up to her so quick!” He slid in front of his brother. “I apologize, miss; my brother can be so dense. I’m Poliwrath.”

 “Neat. I’m Mienshao and I’m not a lady,” muttered Mienshao, as he placed a hand on his hip while Carracosta rolled his eyes. “When are people going to get used to that? I’ve been here over a week already.”

 “Huh?” Poliwrath blinked. “…Now that you mention it, and listening to you a bit better, that does make more sense…”

 “Can you believe my brother? Such a fool.” Politoed bumped past Poliwrath and pushed him back. “My apologies sir, but you are quite the charmer to throw either of us off.”

 “I—what?”

 “Get lost!” Poliwrath shoved Politoed aside. “He’s clearly not into you, so quit acting like you got him smitten!” He dusted himself down a bit. “Sir, it’s my delight to get to know a gentle lord like you better.”

 “You can’t just take over like that!” Politoed jumped up and slammed his foot down onto Poliwrath’s.

 “Ow! You miserable little—he’s just getting into me!” Poliwrath lifted his fist and bopped Politoed’s head.

 “Good gods, give us strength,” murmured Carracosta.

 “Hold on, neither of you are deterred…but you were just flirting because you thought that I was…” Mienshao blinked and shook his head. “Will you both quit arguing already?!” Both frogs returned their attention to him and shoved away from one another, straightening themselves up once more. “What even came over you two?”

 “These brothers love to bicker and battle, especially with each other,” reintroduced Carracosta. “Just pay them no mind and let’s get back to the search.”

 “Hmm? Didn’t you want a break for a bit?” Quagsire ambled over to the other four. “You seem like you could use one, Carracosta.”

 “Quagsire, finally!” Carracosta relaxed and smiled. “I’ve been hoping that you could relieve me from this wild, ah…treasure hunt.”

 “Treasure?”

 “Sounds cool!”

 “Please don’t call it that,” complained Mienshao. “You make it sound like we’re pirates.”

 “To be fair, we do tend to seek out different kinds of treasures ourselves,” brought up Carracosta. “Not that it matters, since we need to find your necklace anyway.”

 “Pendant.”

 “Does it go around your neck?”

 “…Yes.”

 “Then it can be a necklace.”

 “But it…” Mienshao sighed and sank down. “Oh, very well.”

 “We can help you search for it!” Politoed clasped his hands together. “I’d be honored to help you find your jewelry!”

 “It’s not just…” Mienshao rolled his eyes up and dragged his hands over his face. “Actually, I suppose it is that too.”

 “You can have my brother’s help, but you will definitely have mine,” insisted Poliwrath. “I won’t rest until it’s found!”

 “Don’t go off acting high and mighty,” snapped Politoed. “You don’t even know what it looks like!”

 “Well neither do you, and yet you’re going off like you do anyway!”

 “My pendant is from the temple I used to reside in,” intervened Mienshao. “It’s one of the few pieces that I was able to bring with me before its collapse into ruin.”

 Everyone quieted and silently stared at Mienshao, as he rubbed his arm and gazed out a window, observing snowflakes that gently descended outside the palace. He shook his head and turned back to the group.

 “Normally I keep it shut away, but I had to get it cleaned,” he disclosed. “But, I must have misplaced it from there and on my way back to my room, and I haven’t been able to find it since last night.” Mienshao tugged on his whiskers. “I can’t even practice my calligraphy without panicking about it, and that normally calms me down all of the time.” He forced himself back upright. “It’s a five-colored jewel that rests in a gold case with a silver string. The five colors are meant to be emblematic of the four kingdoms and a meeting point between them. Legend from the temple claimed that it came from the center of the continent, but that’s besides the point.”

 “So it looks really pretty and is found with silver and gold around it,” determined Poliwrath. “Got it!”

 “Way to break it down to the dullest details,” deadpanned Politoed.

 “As long as you two are willing, I would really appreciate the assistance.” Mienshao bowed his head to them. “I’m desperate to find it, if only for the nostalgia it provides.”

 “Sure, important stuff is always, uh, important,” persisted Poliwrath. “Leave it to me! I’ll see that it’s found!”

 “And when he fails, you can rely on me to find it.” Politoed smirked. “Your attachment makes it valuable enough, and I won’t quit until it’s found.”

 “Thank you both.”

 “Perfect, you’ve got new hunters for yourself.” Carracosta smacked his flippers together. “Well, you’ve got greater odds of finding it, so I’ll take my leave for now and join in again later.”

 “Hmm?” Quagsire tilted his head. “Do you really need to go?”

 “Truly, yes, I do. After all, I do have to meet with my, ah…” Carracosta rubbed behind his head. “Ah…it sounds odd to call it ‘my appointment,’ ha. Uh, actually, it’s someone that I need to speak with about…funny enough, a treasure that he found.”

 “Wait, you’re leaving from one treasure hunt to go to another?” Quagsire drummed his stomach. “That seems silly.”

 “Except this one was found, and my, um…we’ll call him a friend,” shakily decided Carracosta. “Ah, anyway, he needs my help with that and something else that I still don’t know about, so I must see that attended to.”

 “You have a friend in the city?”

 “Yes, yes, shocking that any of us have a social life outside of the palace walls, I know.” Carracosta huffed and strode from the group. “Now, unless anyone else has more interruptions, I should take my leave. I’m already late enough as it is.”

 “Sorry about that.”

 “Mienshao, it’s fine, really.” Carracosta sighed. “Look, if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t mind having them wait, but this one…I can’t keep him waiting.”

 “I understand.”

 “Promise I’ll be back to help if you’re still searching later,” offered Carracosta. He smirked and added, “Pirate’s promise!”

 “Ugh.” Mienshao smacked his forehead. “Forget it, get lost so we can find it without you.”

 “And split the rewards without me?! After all of my help?!”

 “Aren’t you late?”

 “Ah! Yes! I’m off, farewell!”

 Hurrying from the hall, Carracosta disappeared around the corner and from the others. Politoed and Poliwrath looked to one another and shrugged.

 “Wonder who he’s meeting with that’s so important,” murmured Quagsire.

 “Curious as it is, that’s a different mystery to solve.” Mienshao twisted back to the brothers. “We’ve explored most of the western sides of the palace, but I can’t seem to find it there. Honestly, I’m not positive where I was last night, since…well, I’m still getting familiar with this place.” He scratched at his cheek. “Come to think of it, the bedrooms are on the east side, aren’t they?”

 “Yep.”

 “Great.” Mienshao dropped his head. “Maybe we’ve been looking in the wrong places to begin with.”

 “We’ll start again and figure it out,” suggested Quagsire. “And now we have more help.”

 “That’s right!” Politoed bounced up. “We’re ready to help, Sir Mienshao!”

 “Send us off where you need us, we’ll get it done.” Poliwrath pumped his fist up.

 “Not to return you back along the path from whence you came,” started Mienshao, as the brothers blankly stared at him. “Ah…just head back to the east side. Quagsire and I have been combing this side of the palace already, so you two should start over there.”

 “Hopefully that’s not the way that the Emperor went,” brought up Quagsire.

 “It is.”

 “That’s unfortunate.”

 “Why does that matter?” Mienshao rubbed his head, while Quagsire chuckled.

 “They got yelled at just a little bit ago.”

 “Oh.” Mienshao frowned. “Sorry.”

 “It’s fine.”

 “We’ll still handle it for you!”

 “Thank you both again, then.” Mienshao turned to Quagsire as the twins started off. “Have we tried everywhere yet? Should we find a way downstairs?”

 “Only if you want to get lost in old lower levels that were abandoned ages ago,” warned Quagsire. He yawned and patted his cheek. “Unless you dropped it down a pipe, we’re probably better staying up here.”

 On their way back to the main hall, Politoed slowed and stared at the door to the dining hall. Poliwrath spun back and poked at him.

 “What are you doing?” He poked at his brother again. “We’re supposed to be going to the east. Quagsire was just eating in there.”

 “Right, but I just want to make sure that those bears are in here instead of out there,” reasoned Politoed. “That way, we can just sneak by and off.”

 “But what if they’re already sitting and eating? They’ll see us.”

 “No way.”

 Sure enough, as Politoed gently pushed the door open, vexed gazes from three feasting bears met him and Poliwrath. The brothers sighed as Poliwrath shoved the door completely open. Beartic sank down and rested his head against his paw.

 “Three, two, one.”

 “Had to do it,” complained Poliwrath. “You just had to open the door.”

 “Shut up,” snapped Politoed. “You act like you’ve never made stupid choices!”

 “Not as bad as yours.”

 “As if!”

 “And there they go,” murmured Beartic, lowering his eyes as Politoed and Poliwrath started batting at each other.

 “Can’t you not make poor life choices for once?!”

 “Like yours aren’t just as poor?! You live with me!”

 “Yeesh, didn’t they get enough from the Emperor before?” Pangoro snickered. “They’re basically asking for more punishment, right Ursaring?” He turned to the brown bear, as he struggled with a jam jar.

 “Nitwit!”

 “Dolt!”

 “Yeah, definitely,” grumbled Ursaring. “Just…how tight does Quagsire seal these?”

 “Keeps them fresh.” Pangoro took it from Ursaring. “See, you just need to apply…some force…” He grinded his teeth as he twisted the jar, failing to get it open as well. “What the hell?”

 “Not so easy, huh?” Ursaring smirked as he lowered his eyes on the panda.

 “Wait, I can…this thing isn’t…seriously, what?” Pangoro gawked at the unopened container.

 “That’s why mom liked you less!”

 “Well dad liked you less too!”

 “Hang on, let me try,” offered Beartic, taking the jar from Pangoro. “It might be a bit frozen, so…hmm…just the right…turn…” He shifted away from the table and tugged harder on the lid, failing to open it either. “What gives…?”

 “Right? It should’ve come off easy!”

 “It’s not even full,” pointed out Ursaring. “It should just pop off.”

 “Very strange,” agreed Beartic, as he held out the jar to study it. “Maybe if we take turns with loosening it.”

 “You’re a walking eyesore!”

 “Well you don’t have any brains!”

 Shoving Politoed back, Poliwrath’s glare vanished as his brother swung his arm out, smacking the jar from Beartic’s hand and into the table. It smashed at the angle, and broke the top open as it dropped to the ground. Politoed gawked at it, and then twisted back to Poliwrath.

 “Look at what you did!”

 “Me?! You knocked into it!”

 “That’s exactly what you would do to blame it on me—”

 “Come off it, that’s you never owning up to problems—”

 Still shouting and swinging at each other, the brothers stormed from the dining hall, leaving the three bears to quietly watch them take off. Bending down and scooping up the jar, Beartic blankly stared at the broken jam jar: the top had shattered open, but no glass got on the jam that remained inside. Breathing a bit of icy breath around the top to even it out, he placed it down before Ursaring.

 “Problem solved,” determined Beartic. “Let me get the glass next…”

 “That was my next idea,” muttered Pangoro.

 “Huh. Whatever works,” settled Ursaring.

 Departing from there and to the main hall, Poliwrath and Politoed nudged and shoved one another back and forth. They forced themselves apart from one another and glared to each other.

 “Fine, let’s really settle this then,” decided Poliwrath. “First one to find that necklace pendant jewel for Mienshao is the better brother and gets to ask him out!”

 “Ha, like you’d be able to handle that anyway!” Politoed waved him off. “Just try and keep up with me, and don’t cry when you lose.”

 “Oh, I won’t, but you can feel free to when you do!”

 “Dream on!”

 “Ready?”

 “Let’s go!”

 Racing off with one another, Poliwrath and Politoed stormed through the eastern side of the palace, charging upstairs and through the corridors. Zipping through the bedchambers, they tore by the rooms, glancing within and hurrying along when they found nothing. Once finished, they raced onward.

 Further down the palace halls, Abomasnow opened a closet, only to be whacked in the head by a broom. Groaning, he leaned over to pick it up, and grunted while grabbing it, reaching around at the light cracking.

 “Ooh, my back…where is that damned knot…ah, blast it all, I can’t be getting that old yet,” he griped. Abomasnow held the broom up and glowered at it. “Hmph. It shouldn’t even be me getting saddled with all of these chores. I should get the knights to do them if they screw up training, and not…hey, that’s not a half bad idea.”

 Propping the broom up, he fumbled around trying to keep it lined with the others in the closet. Hearing yelling from down the corridor, Abomasnow jerked up.

 “Oh no, not them again…”

 Before he could prop the broom back up properly, Abomasnow was shoved into the closet as Politoed shoved Poliwrath into him, roughly knocking into his back.

 “Gods, now look at what you did!” Poliwrath hopped from the general. “You made me shove him into the closet!”

 “That’s your fault, you went too far to the left!”

 “Bah, will the two of you knock it off?!” Abomasnow’s thunderous voice scared the brothers back into chasing each other off. “Honestly, with how much chaos they cause, they’ll make my back pains distant…memories…huh.” Abomasnow rubbed his back and blinked, blankly staring off as he slowly smiled. “Hey. That actually feels much better!”

 His smirk faded as the broom dropped out from behind him and smacked down against the floor. Abomasnow sighed and rolled his eyes.

 Around the corner for the next hallway, Poliwrath shoved into Politoed, who pushed right back into him. They stuck together and charged down the hall, pushing one another along while rushing through.

 After nudging back and forth, Politoed shoved Poliwrath into a door, as his brother yanked him into it with him. They fell through and crashed down the steps into the library, where Empoleon sorted through his notes. He jerked up and whirled around at the brawling brothers, as they dragged their fight closer to his work.

 “Dastard!”

 “Asshole!”

 “Not now, the two of you are interrupting,” snapped Empoleon. “Just settle down for a minute, and don’t—”

 Neither heard him in time, as they tackled into each other and rolled across the room, bumping the table and knocking the papers around. Empoleon gaped at the mess his work was turned into, and gripped at his head. Shoving each other as they rose up from the ground, Politoed and Poliwrath finally focused on Empoleon, as he turned his dark glare upon them. Both jolted up and darted off.

 “Get back here,” bellowed Empoleon. “You two have caused me considerable confusion and delay! This work is supposed to…!” Empoleon blinked and studied the messy pile of papers before him. “…Wait a minute…” He shuffled the papers around. “This, here, that’s the piece of the legend…ah, here!” Empoleon giggled as he excited scoured over the lines. “The ‘valiant heart,’ ‘strong convictions and morals,’ this is the piece that I was looking for!”

 Glancing up and around the library, Empoleon cleared his throat, dragging his chair back closer to him and quietly sitting down with in, returning to his research.

 Bursting from the door leading outside to the palace’s walkway, Politoed broke away from Poliwrath and stumbled back against the railing. Poliwrath growled and charged at Politoed, knocking him over the side of the railing, as both plunged down into the moat below.

 Paddling up to the surface and panting as they dragged themselves back onto the bridge, Poliwrath and Politoed glared at each other, struggling to catch their breaths.

 “You’ll…never…find it…” Politoed brushed his mouth in between his breathing, wiping the water away.

 “Ha…you’re…the one…that won’t…” Poliwrath rolled his arms and struggled as he steadied himself.

 “Um.”

 Blinking at each other, the twins twisted around as they spotted Quagsire and Mienshao on the opposite side of the bridge. Mienshao wore the missing pendant around his neck, arm wrapped around Quagsire as he rubbed his cheek. Poliwrath and Politoed deflated as they gazed ahead.

 “We found it already.” Quagsire pointed back behind him. “It was in the main hall, but on the lower floor of the eastern side,” he revealed. “You guys probably past it when you went along.”

 “It was because we heard something smash in the dining hall that we went looking out that way at all,” enlightened Mienshao. “We thought we were going to find you two, but Quagsire spotted my pendant instead. It was a nice surprise!”

 “And then we heard you two splash down out here,” finished Quagsire. “…Are you guys ok?”

 “Us?” Poliwrath blinked and then laughed. “Ha, yeah, we…we, uh, slipped. From the top. Over there.”

 “Yep, that’s…that’s what happened.” Politoed chuckled weakly. “Glad that you, uh, found the pendant, Quagsire.”

 “It’s just nice that Mienshao has it back,” decided Quagsire. “Happy to help…”

 “You were so quick to find it too!” Mienshao hugged Quagsire. “Thank you so much for all of your effort!” He pulled off and turned to the brothers, nodding to them. “Thanks to both of you for assisting as well.”

 “Sure, yeah…”

 “You’re welcome…”

 Rubbing away the green glints from their envious eyes, Politoed and Poliwrath sank down as Mienshao and Quagsire strolled back inside of the palace. They glanced up at one another and shrugged.

 “Maybe we should take this as a note to change,” suggested Politoed.

 “True, maybe we need to clean up our act a bit,” concurred Poliwrath.

 “Oh, you two certainly have some cleaning up to do.”

 Both jumped up and stared across to Abomasnow, who had marched out in place of Mienshao and Quagsire. He lifted mops and a bucket.

 “We’ve got some recently messy halls that need to be tended to,” thundered Abomasnow. “And I know just the duo that’s eager to help!”

 “…This is all your fault,” hissed Poliwrath.

 “My fault?! You started it,” snapped back Politoed.

 “Personally, I don’t give a damn whose fault it was,” overtook Abomasnow. “Both of you are cleaning it up, and you’ll do it straight away or I’ll make you two a punishment much worse than that!”

 “Ah, yes sir.”

 “Right away, sir.”

 “That’s more like it! Maybe you’ll learn how to cooperate better by the end of the day after all.” He dropped the bucket down and propped the mops against it. “Now then, both of you: get to work!”

 Abomasnow lumbered back inside as Poliwrath and Politoed groaned, trudging over and scooping up the mops. They shot each other wicked glares as they shoved the doors for the palace back open and dragged themselves back inside through the halls.

 When Carracosta returned later, he was rather surprised at how neat the palace halls looked. Though once he found Poliwrath and Politoed to ask them about it, he only watched as they slumped down near a closet and knocked out.

...

...

Shenanigans were had, and chaos ensued. Hooray!

Just something to hold over readers that might be waiting on the coming conclusion of Melting Gelid Roses, since I’ll be getting to that finale later on in the coming months.

And this gave a bit nicer of a send-off for Poliwrath and Politoed, who didn’t get as much limelight for their time in the story. (Doesn’t help when you’re not quite the main characters.) It’ll be added later to Scattered Petals, like I mentioned above, since that’s the one-shot collection for these types.

It was also fun to have a few other characters with earlier routines: Mienshao’s actual newbie status to the Empire, Carracosta still new to hiding his personal life, the bears actually being around, Empoleon’s research, Quagsire’s sleepy demeanor masking his chef skills, and Abomasnow becoming...more of himself!

Plus, there were some fun references that I tossed in that hint at the later events of the main story. They’re not very obvious, but if you browse through the chapters, you might spot a few things between here and there.

Anyway, that’s all for them! Hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading!

[lonelyheartsclubhaze]

We Sold Our Souls to Instagram

September 2020 // Chapter 2

“No, I’m not going to pick you up.” I shook my head, visibly and audibly annoyed. “You know damn well that I’m not getting behind the wheel. I’m hanging up, sorry.”

Converting potential energy into kinetic, the iPhone X left my hand, skimming across the wave-front of my bed. My hands ruffled through my hair as I inhaled then sighed, absentmindedly channelling the virtues of cellular respiration.

Tired of this perpetual bullshit, my fingers slithered across the Ikea desk before me, eventually detecting the apple of my bedroom’s Eden: a lychee ice Puff Bar. My fingers honed in on the device, ensnaring it, raising it to my lips. A deep breath saved me from the agony of sobriety, the nicotine buzz lasting a moment. Then, it was lost.

Six soft, knuckled knocks rapped at the bedroom door. “It’s unlocked,” I shouted.

A creak later, the door swung open, revealing Adam. There was nobody else in the house anyway. With a global pandemic at large and wildfires blazing on deep into September, neither Ajay nor Cam had seen Dwight House since March. Just Adam and me.

“Yo, we out,” he said, pulling a reusable, black cloth mask under his chin. “Can’t see shit outside but we still drinking, dawg.” Ah, the charming vernacular of a Korean-American friend from the elite suburbs of the East Bay.

“It’s good. What’re we feeling today?” I had actually enjoyed the past six months with Adam—it had been a good bonding experience. Despite his rough tone around me and the rest of the guys, Adam was quite versatile in social settings, weaving between upper-class gentility at investment banking info sessions and middle-aged rednecks at gun ranges. With classical Berkeley-liberal ideologies and Wall Street Journal-reading, center-right-leaning, finance friends, Adam defied social realities.

Adam shrugged. “Could go for some Chimay. I’m feeling classy.”

“Not a bad idea at all, my friend,” I said. It had been awhile since I’d had a good beer like Chimay, and I was getting sick of Coors Banquets. “On the other hand, your timing just might be—a bad idea, I mean. Air looks cancerous outside.” Marmalade light cast by the wildfires of a fuming Earth engulfed Northern California, held in suspense by cool, Pacific layers of atmosphere. It was like we were on planet Arrakis, from Dune, or trapped in the world of David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust.

“The air low-key is cancerous. AQI is pushing 180’s right now,” said Adam, raising his eyebrows.

“Looks like an N95-kinda day. I’ve got a spare, you know,” I said, gesturing to a pile of three or so N95 masks by the lamp on my desk.

Adam waved it off. “Eh, I’m good. That’s some puss shit. Let’s just run over to Crafts and Grapes or some shit, shouldn’t take long.”

I shrugged. “So be it.”

Tossing on a pair of five-and-a-half inch inseam Lululemon shorts, I joined Adam as he hopped downstairs.

“Got keys?” he asked once we reached the door.

“Yer, we out,” I said, shaking my keys out from my shorts’ pocket to lock the front door.

“Fuck,” griped Adam. “It’s actually hot as shit out here.” Smoky, red air obscured him from sight as he craned his neck to see me.

“Hence the shorts.”

Adam squinted his eyes, pursed his lips, and jutted his head back and forth, mocking me. “For sure. Forgot your MCAT-lovin’-ass could predict the future. But really though—it’s the middle of September, dude. This shit is wrong. It’s hot as balls and California is on fire and the sky is red and fools are straight-up dying off this COVID shit.”

“And you’re still an idiot,” I said, flashing a cheeky smile.

“Are you qualified to diagnose me as an idiot?”

“Maddie would say so.”

“Hence the pet names.”

“Precisely.”

“We gotta do something about this, bruh. This shit pains me to see,” declared Adam.

“Let’s start by drinking these brews. We’ll recycle the bottles after.”

We walked east on Dwight toward Telegraph, dodging cars as we skipped across the one way street. Adam was quieter than usual, for the most part, looking up from his iPhone 11 Pro Max periodically to comment on something he’d read in the news, or the glum weather. He wore a khaki short sleeve button-up, Kapital raw denim jeans with smiley face patchwork on the back left pocket, and a pair of slip-on Nike Janoski sneakers. The jeans were nice—quite expensive, from the looks of it—but looked baggy on him. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, all of his clothes  wore a bit loose on him, akin to a fiery adolescent who’d picked out hand-me-downs from an older sibling. Who that older sibling might’ve been, I’d never know—with his unwavering demeanor, Adam always seemed like the eldest in the room.

Banking right onto Telegraph, we bore the full brunt of the veiled sun, which, though hidden behind dense clouds of smoke, now revealed its penetrating UV rays. We ducked under corrugated foam polycarbonate sheets, which lined the rooftops of mom-and-pop Telegraph shops, fending off the sun’s cancerous radiation. The insanity of the world mingled with the smoky, copper air, making me delirious. I imagined I was Mel Gibson or Tom Hardy in Mad Max, feigning off flashbacks in the Wasteland. At the corner of Telegraph and Blake street, Adam pushed and held open the door to Crafts and Grapes. Nodding my head at him in small thanks, I entered, squinting my eyes as the light shifted from hazy red to bright white inside. It was a tiny store, with two aisles directly ahead lined with candy, nuts, and other inconsequential (unless you ate too many) snacks, followed by two refrigerators: one in the back, the other on the far right. Cool, wispy air emanated from the cold storage, contrasting with the late summer atmosphere only meters behind us. A bell rang as the door squeaked to a halt, prompting the middle-eastern cashier, directly to our right, to rise from his stool and greet us. We nodded back silently, all three of us clad in masks.

Per usual, Adam took the lead, striding toward the fridge directly back. He popped open one of the see-through doors with his left hand, mapping his way through its items with his right pointer finger. Finding my eyes, Adam shook his head, indicating a lack of Chimay.

“Blue moons?” I suggested. “Mango wheats?”

Adam screwed up his face. “Fuck that. Let’s go with Lags.”

“Sure, why not.”

Adam kneeled and looped his hand through the cardboard handle of a Lagunitas StereoHopic IPA six-pack. We walked over to the register where Adam made small talk with the cashier. Eventually, he tapped his iPhone 11 to an Ingenico payment terminal, finalizing our transaction. Drinks acquired.

The bell jingled as the door shut behind us once more. We hurried home, eager to crack open our drinks, intent on droning out the blistered yonder. Adam tried to explain his enthusiasm for hoppy beers while I pretended to listen. He was distracting me, though; we both knew I couldn’t care less.

Arriving home, my keys found their way to the door, and we found our ways to the couch. A tenor beep resounded through our living room as Adam’s iPhone connected to an old speaker via bluetooth. “Street Lights” by Kanye West filled the air, followed by carbon dioxide bubbles freed by an unlikely liberator—the bottle opener.

Let me know

Do I still got time to grow?

Things ain’t always set in stone

That be known let me know

I found myself back in the hand-me-down BMW 330i, with her, the white wire packed into the lightning port of my iPhone, transmitting cosine waves that replicated the robotic voice I was listening to in my living room.

“Stop!” she cried, thrusting herself back against beige, leather seats. She wanted me to press the brakes. I had to stop the car, right, stop the car. Where were the brakes?

She was beautiful, of course.

Dark, brown hair fell over eyes of the same color, guarded by double-lids that I wish she hadn’t paid for.

Hardly anyone would notice the difference, but I did, and it hurt to know that she didn’t love them.

I loved them, unconditionally, but she loved the brakes.

Needed to find them.

We’d shared a large bowl of Marafuku’s acclaimed Hakata Tonkotsu DX ramen. I’d let her eat most of it, sneaking my chopsticks in for bites at intervals.

“Pennsylvania?” I shook my head.

“What, you’ve never been?” She tilted hers. “You’ll love it. Come with me.”

“You’re crazy,” I said, smiling. “My MCAT summer is coming up.”

She rolled her eyes. “Then I’ll help you study for it. Duh.”

“I’m sure Brandon would love that.”

“Will he? All the way from San Francisco?”

“He’ll make the trip.”

“Not if you do,” she said, melting my mind.

I was dizzy, sleepy, lost, a newborn. Vulnerable. And I couldn’t seem to find them.

I’m just not there in the streets

I’m just not there

Life’s just not fair

Life’s just not fair

Sonorant chimes reverberated in my ears as Adam clinked his glass bottle to mine. “Cheers,” he said with a nod.

“Cheers,” I echoed. Leaning my head back, I swallowed, allowing the cool liquid down my esophagus and into my gut.

“You good?” he prodded.

“Yeah,” I replied, my voice cracking a little. I cleared my throat.

“Pretty hoppy, huh?”

I took another sip, licking my lips after. “Quite. I suppose we knew what we were getting ourselves into. You know, given the ‘StereoHopic’.”

“You right.”

“Yeah.”

“Yo,” said Adam. “On another note—might be going in on an addy deal with Grace if you’re tryna hop in.”

I scratched my head. While I wouldn’t have any major exams in the near future (although midterms for my biochem course [MCB 102, for my fellow pre-med students at Cal] were slated for October sixteenth), I certainly had errands that might be eased by a twenty milligram dose of extended-release Adderall. There’s nothing like a thorough room-cleaning session when you’re high on stimulant drugs.

The first time I ever tried Adderall must’ve been during my freshman year, back in 2017. Midterm season was approaching—come to think of it, that was around this time that year—and our generous friend, Grace, was kind enough to grant me a ten milligram pill of instant-release Adderall. Grace and I, along with Adam and perhaps Ajay, too, were partaking in a midnight study session at Moffitt Library, which was open twenty-four-seven—prior to the pandemic. I popped the pill, chased it down with a Javiva drink from Peet’s, and got to work.

Twenty minutes later I began to feel its effects as the amphetamine altered monoamines in my brain, releasing surplus dopamine into my many synaptic clefts. Optimism filled me to the brim and my vision bent inward. I saw nothing but the iPad in front of me, my mind enamored by golgi apparatuses and various protein structures. The stimulant saturated me with a profound appreciation for all thoughts that meandered into my head; a giddiness originated in my heart, spreading down my arms, my legs, and outward across my skull, contracting then expanding once more. It was artificial love.

Eventually, I was distracted. Grace’s dilated pupils stared into mine as she chattered away  about Lin-Manuel Mir-something and a hurricane in Puerto Rico. After a second or two, my attention snapped away from cell membranes, landing instead on her words. The words of a girl from Colorado with a soft spot for the snow. I’d met Grace via Adam during Orientation Week and she’d quickly become one of my favorite people.

Gingerbread specks stippled her face like a George Seurat painting, fractal constellations arising as my eyes outlined her cheekbones. Gaps between long, chocolate locks revealed sepia collarbones, lined with descendants of the freckles on her face. A white Nike Alex Morgan soccer jersey overlaid the loose sweatpants that hung from her hips, held up by drawstrings I almost hoped would fail, concealing proportions that emulated golden ratios. Stained, white, laceless Vans hugged unpainted toes that tapped together when she spoke. Lips that scorned the artificially enlarged mouths of Instagram influencers communicated messages I was only barely beginning to listen to. She was the love interest of a nineties’ coming-of-age motion picture. But she wasn’t mine.

You know, I thought Adam might’ve loved her, but it was hard to tell when he was cycling through hookups with three different girls at a time. Come to think of it, I didn’t know if Adam loved anyone. A talker, yes; a charmer, certainly; but a romantic, I really didn’t think so.

He spent a lot of his time with her, no doubt. And she cared for him—anyone could see it. But she knew as well as I did that his head wasn’t in it. He wasn’t looking for love. He wanted to graduate, make money—to be someone. Sex seemed like nothing more than a physical need to him. I don’t think anyone would’ve described Adam as an emotionally vulnerable guy, and I don’t think anyone thought that emotion was what he kept those girls around for.

But at the same time, anyone could’ve seen what I saw in the way he bounced when she was around. Anyone could’ve heard the way he spoke about her. She meant something to him. But when you asked him about it, he’d brush it off; she wasn’t his type, or he had commitment issues (jokingly—but hey, grain of truth in everything).

Maybe she was his distraction from ambition—his distraction from latex-wrapped, emotionally removed nights and Wall Street Journal mornings, just as she was my distraction from cell structures.

For a good hour-and-a-half, Grace entertained me with conversation regarding natural disasters across the West; Broadway musical comparisons between Hamilton and Sunday in the Park with George; and the latest updates on Cal’s women’s soccer team, of which she was a huge fan. The Adderall certainly kept me focused, although not necessarily on my coursework.

“Let me know,” said Adam, tipping the bottle into the corner of his mouth. “I’m boutta text her back.”

I looked up from my lap at Adam. Right, I thought. “Sure, I could be down. Why not. Think you can pick me up two? I have some errands to run.”

“Twenty milligram XR work?” he asked as he tapped along the screen of his iPhone.

“That’ll do.”

The room went quiet for twenty to twenty five seconds as I was confirmed as an accomplice in the drug deal.

“What’s she been up to?” I asked.

“Hm?” he noised, raising his eyebrows without looking up.

“Grace,” I said. “Haven’t seen her much.”

He shrugged. “Not much, I guess. Drinking a solid amount though, from what I’ve seen.”

“Makes three of us.”

“Yeah,” he said, feigning a smile. “What about yours?”

“Maddie?”

“Yeah.”

I took a deep breath—inhaling, holding to the count of four, exhaling. “Not much of a difference, to be honest.”

“It’s not her fault, you know.”

“I know,” I breathed.

“Then talk to her.”

“It’s not like that,” I mumbled.

Adam paused.

I stared at my feet. “I’m sorry, Adam.”

He squinted. “The fuck you sorry for?”

“You know.”

He waved his hand aside, brushing it off. “I’m not tripping. Talk to her. Before I do it myself.”

I forced a smile. “Maybe it’s better off that way.”

“Here,” he said, handing me a two-foot-tall bong and lighter from under the coffee table. “Take it.”

Couldn’t stay away. My fingers gripped the paraphernalia as he withdrew. My heart quickened as the impending drug interaction approached. When it reached my lips, I lit, then inhaled, holding to the count of four, and then some. Blurry feelings rushed my mind as states of sufferance gave way to sedated nebulas, teaching me forgetfulness.

[multiplefandomfics]

Elevator

Hey guys so this is our first fanfiction to be posted ever so be nice. We appreciate any feedback and hope you enjoy it. This is going to be a blog with smut so 18+ only.

Norman Reedus x Reader

Words: 2646

Warnings: smut, cuteness overload, fluff, claustrophobia, Norman Reedus & Jeffrey Dean Morgan (because they need a warning :D),

It was a sunny day in Berlin, Germany even though it was just April. A friend and I had planned this trip for over a year. We met at the hotel we were gonna stay in. we went all out on that vacation and rented a good one. The town was also nice and the people very helpful and courteous.

One morning we wanted to meet in the lobby because we were staying on different floors. I was a little late cause the evening had been long and I didn’t hear my alarm. I quickly got dressed while writing a message to my friend and storming out the door a second later. Fortunately I had packed my stuff the day before. I stormed the elevator and hit the button for the lobby. Completely out of breath and focused on my phone I didn’t even notice the doors opening at a different level and two men stepping in. “Nice shirt!” one of them commented suddenly with a deep voice. I looked at my The Walking Dead shirt then at the guys and almost passed out. In front of me stood grinning like idiots Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Norman Reedus. I was paralyzed and for a moment I was sure I was still asleep and dreaming. My next thought was (Y/F/N) would be so jealous when I stepped out of the elevator. “You got a name?” Norman asked. “(Y/N)” I stuttered. “Nice one. You from around here?”  I was just about to find my voice and reply that I wouldn’t be living in a hotel if I were citizen of Berlin as the elevator jerked violently and then stood still. “what in hell…?” Jeffrey Dean Morgan said more to himself.”It’s not moving. Why is it not fucking moving?” I panicked. “Keep calm sweetheart. You claustrophobic or something?” Norman asked worriedly. “Or something...” I replied. I was not afraid of tight spaces the two gorgeous man trapped here with me were the problem. “I’m gonna press the help button.” so I did. Suddenly a voice came through the speakers.

“Hallo, Sie haben die Notfallhotline erreicht, wie kann ich Ihnen helfen?“

(Hello you reached the help hot-line what is your emergency?)

„Ja hallo wir stecken hier im Aufzug im Mercury Hotel in Berlin. Er bewegt sich seit ein paar Minuten gar nicht mehr, die Türen gehen auch nicht auf und hat vorher ganz schön gerappelt.“

(yeah hi we are stuck in an elevator in the mercury hotel in Berlin. It hasn’t been moving in few minutes, the door won’t open either and it jerked hardly before it stood still.)

„Ja ich sehe es im System aber ich kann keine Ferndiagnose stellen oder es beheben. Ich werde einen Techniker schicken müssen aber das wird etwas dauern. Leider fehlen uns momentan helfende Hände.“ at least she sounded sorry.

(Yes I can see it in my system but I can’t perform remote diagnosis. I’ll have to send a mechanic but that is gonna take a while. Unfortunately we are short handed at the moment.)

„Alles klar. Wir lange wird es ungefähr dauern?“

(Alright. How long is it gonna take approximately?)

„Vermutlich ein paar Stunden.“

(Maybe a few hours.)

„Okay wir können ja eh nicht viel machen. Danke für Ihre Hilfe.“

(Okay we can’t to much anyways. Thanks for your help.)

„Natürlich. Ich wünsche Ihnen trotzdem einen schönen Tag.“

with those words she hung up.

(Of course have a nice day anyways.)

“What did she say?” Jeff asked.

“Seems like we’re stuck for the next few hours. She’s gonna send a mechanic but that’s gonna take a while.” I answered.

“I would have never guessed that you’re German. Your English is flawless. Sounds almost like a native.” Norman remarked which made me blush. I had always loved English.

“Somebody got an idea what to do?” Jeff sounded already bored and we had only been stuck for 5 minutes. “I think I got everything we need in my purse.” I said hesitantly, opened it and pulled water bottles, snacks and a card game out of it. “Oh but I should call my friend first. She’s waiting in the lobby for me. One second.” I took my phone out of my pocket and hit dial on the video chat. I wanted to scare the living daylights out of her. I swear I was a good friend. After two rings she took the call. “Hey (Y/N) where are you?” “I’m sorry (Y/F/N) I’m stuck in one of the hotel elevators and the lady at the hot-line said it could take a few hours till a mechanic is gonna fix the problem and get us out of here. But I have some great company here. You wanna see?” I was so giddy I couldn’t even wait for a response. I just turned around and took the guys with me into view. “What the…?!” (Y/F/N) almost fell over. “You alright sweetheart?” Jeff asked worriedly as she almost hyperventilated and I laughed my ass off.  It was almost the same reaction I had had when I saw them first. “Why in hell are you guys even in Germany?” she finally spat out. “We are filming Ride here. We’re touring Europe at the moment.” Norman let on. “What a damn coincidence. I am not complaining. (Y/F/N) It seems we are not getting out of here anytime soon. Could you inform the people at the reception if they haven’t already? Then you should maybe go to a cafe or busy yourself otherwise. I won’t be able to stay on the phone the whole time my battery is gonna die then.” I explained to her. “Okay sure thing. Talk to ya later when you get out of that steel trap. Bye sis.” she replied. “Yeah bye. Love ya.” with that I hung up. “So she’s your sister?” Jeff asked. “Soul sister.” I replied happily. “We’d do anything for each other.” We sat down on the floor and I took hold of the UNO cards. “UNO? Seriously?” Norman laughed. “Yeah UNO. I like the game and I can’t play poker.” I admitted a little embarrassed. So there I was sitting on the floor of a stuck elevator with Norman Reedus and Jeffrey Dean Morgan playing UNO and eating snacks. “So you’re here for vacation?” The conversation stayed casual. “Yep we’ve been here for a week now.” We talked like we’ve known each other forever. It started to feel normal after a while. We made photos and laughed while eating and joking. I had no idea how much time had passed by when the double doors f the lift finally opened and revealed hotel staff, (Y/F/N) and a team of mechanics and tech support people. It seemed almost comical the way I was sitting on the ground with two grown ass men playing cards. “Oh hi, thanks for getting us out but couldn’t it have waited a few minutes longer I had a winning hand?” I sighed. “Betcha didn’t!” Norman challenged me. “Oh the bet is on Reedus!” I replied. (Y/F/N) only stared at me as if she couldn’t believe that we had gotten so close in only three hours. In the end I really had the win on my side and he had to surrender. I gathered all my things and we stretched our limbs outside. Felt good to finally walk again on more than six square meters. “So guys that is (Y/F/N) you met her briefly on the phone.” “Yeah hey nice to meet you” she was blushing like hell and that amused me a lot. “So it is too late to film now. You guys wanna hang out and show us parts of the town you have discovered yet? Maybe grab a bite somewhere?” Norman suggested. “Ehm yeah definitely!” I took the opportunity to be with them a little while longer. “Great our bikes are in the garage.” Jeff interjected. We made our way to the garage underneath the hotel. “You wanna ride with me?” Norman asked me shyly. It was adorable. “Sure thing but only if you let me drive for a while as well.” “You drive motorcycles?” he looked stunned but somehow also in awe. “Yes I have a bike at home. Been driving two wheels since I was 15. always loved the feeling of freedom that comes with it. And around my hometown there are alot of cool biker routes.” I raved. “Maybe we can drive a tour together sometime.” he offered. “That would be amazing. I’d love that a lot.” this time it was my turn to be stunned. He gave me his spare helmet as did Jeff to (Y/F/N) and sat up front on the Triumph. I put my foot on the footrest and swung my leg over the seat like I had dozens of times in my life before. I wasn’t sure where to put my hands so I just laid them on my thighs but he noticed and grabbed them to put them around his muscular middle. I wasn’t gonna object. He was a good looking and nice guy. We drove kinda aimlessly through town and when it turned late I heard through the com in my helmet that was connected to the rest of the group: “Hey guys I’m hungry. Let’s find a place to eat.” Jeff’s voice sounded strained. Well I remembered we had only eaten the few snacks at lunch time and in that moment my stomach rumbled too. “Good idea you know a good pizza place or so?” Norman asked and I felt him talk earlier than I heard him. That was kinda sexy. “Yes actually there is a restaurant just drive left there then the next right and you can park in front of Alfredo’s. We found it last Wednesday.” (Y/F/N) sounded through the speaker. Said, done. Five minutes later we stepped of the bikes and into the pizza place. It was rather small and not too crowded also no one seemed to recognize the guys which was a relive. “Thanks for taking us with you today.” (Y/F/N) said with a dopey smile on her face. I knew that she’d always had a crush on JDM. The whole day had been one big coincidence but the odds were in our favor. Sometimes fate seemed to be on our side. “order whatever you want. It’s my treat tonight.” Jeff gave us his signature smile again which made me melt. “Cheers everyone! To new friendships!” Jeff toasted. “Slainté!” I tasted back. We sat in that restaurant till about 10.30 pm that evening. We had so much fun. Even (Y/F/N) loosened up eventually. “By the way guys, if you wanna come to my hometown to go for a ride some when here’s my number. You can call anytime you want.” I winked at them but didn’t expect a number back. Then I got surprised by Norman. “Want mine too? Gimme your phone.” I willingly handed him my phone opening the display lock in the process. What I totally forgot about was my crazy background screen with a photo of him and Jeff. I smiled a little embarrassed but he seemed to think it was cute. Quickly he typed his number in and handed it back to me. I had to really restrain myself from completely fangirling right then. After eating we drove back to the hotel and grabbed a few drinks at the hotel bar. It was quiet at the hotel probably because it was out of season so we had the bar mostly to ourselves. After a few beers and shots the guys found out that I could really hold my liquor. (Y/F/N) was the one who ended it at around 2 am. I was still only slightly buzzed. “Let’s get to bed you guys gotta film tomorrow. Maybe we can watch?” she asked carefully. “Watch? You guys are gonna be part of the episode.” Norman assured us. Together we went to the elevators but took a different one that time. (Y/F/N) was the first to reach her floor. “Good night everyone see ya later.” she slurred and walked away. Jeff was next: “Night darling.” “Night Jeff” with those words the doors closed behind him. The second the doors touched Norman turned toward me and pressed his lips to mine. I was shocked but positively… if that is possible. “You want this?” he asked me breathless. “Oh god yes!” I exclaimed. We arrived at his floor and with a ding the doors opened. Because of the late hour no one was in the hallway as he pulled me further towards his room. He fumbled with the key-card and after some teasingly long seconds the door to his bedroom finally clicked open. We were still kissing like teenagers. He shoved the door shut with his foot and pushed my jacket from my shoulders. I helped him out of his clothes as fast as he undid mine and soon enough we were naked and I was writhing under his touch. I needed him so bad I was already dripping and he hadn’t even touched me yet. “Please Norman. Take me. I need it.” I whispered in is ear and he shuddered at my dirty words. “on the bed hands and knees.” he commanded. He was in charge and I knew and loved that so I did what he demanded and kneeled on the bed my soaking wet pussy on display for him. I heard him groan and shuffle behind me before I felt the bed dip. I was getting so much wetter in anticipation. Without warning he plunged two fingers in my pussy and they directly hit my g-spot. He was a master and when he buried his tongue into my folds I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. It was impossible to describe. He drew little figure eights on my clit that send electrical shock-waves through me. I was coming undone seconds later. He pulled his fingers out of me and before I could object his cock pushed in to the hilt. He was bigger than anyone I ever had before so the pleasure was combined with a bit of pain as well but I liked that. It was so amazing. I could feel every stroke of his dick so deep inside me he almost pushed through my cervix. “Norman deeper please.” and “oh god yes right there.” was all I could come up with. My brain was like mashed potatoes. I just felt him and nothing more. He grunted and his strokes became erratic “come with me baby.” he panted and that was all the encouragement I needed and I squirted all over the bed sheets. I had never done this before. Completely spent we laid on the bed next to each other breathing heavily. So fucked out. It was pure bliss. “Thanks for that.” I panted out. “For what? I really wanted you since I stepped into the elevator this morning.” he admitted. After some more silent minutes I asked “Norman? What is this between us?” “I honestly don’t know. Let’s just enjoy what we have here for a while. See where in brings us. I definitely want this to continue.” I was so happy about that statement that I just cuddled up to his chest for an answer.

The next morning we sat together at breakfast. Well when Norman and I came downstairs hand in hand we saw Jeff and (Y/F/N) sitting there next to each other looking completely in love. I made a mental note to ask her later what had happened between them. When she saw our intertwined fingers she smiled at us knowingly. I knew I had to tell her everything when we had time. This was the best vacation of my life by far and I was happy to have been stuck in an elevator for the first time ever.

Part 2 is gonna hit later

[paw-patrol-kiddo]

2018 for my regressive side

Oh my gosh, we’re at the end of the year already! It went by sooooo fast!!! I’m a shook baby hee hee hee

Anyways, as some of y’all may remember, I did a post like this last year! Things have happened since then, things have changed-- and I wanna cover it all! I don’t think I’d call this the best year of my life (I say this because I’m not so sure about 2017 being the best year of my life anymore tbh), but it was still pretty dang good!!! Had its hard parts and such, bu otherwise, was a v good year!!!!

Y’all probs know the drill: I write mostly about my age regression adventures this year, with occasional bits of my Teenage Life(tm) sprinkled in here and there! I try to keep the latter to very important events, though (frankly, I think I have failed terribly at this, but do I care? At this point in my life, not really tbh), and mostly focus on regression when I can.

If you wanna do somethin like this for what this year held for your regressive side, feel free to!! I’d love if ya tagged me in it so I can read it!

Are we ready for the year review? I am and hope you are! It’s below the cut if ya wanna read it! Here we go!!!

January of course started off with my 16th birthday! It also marked five years (note: I miswrote this as either five or six in my first year review post! It’s actually been five, almost six years now) since I started liking diapies again, something that’s been a part of my life on-and-off since 2010 for sure, though I think I’ve liked them since at least 2008 according to my memories and the vibes I get from them!

“Chloe, why is this important?” You probably ask as you read that sentence.

Well, personally, I think it’s a huge part of what led me to begin age regressing! I started off liking diapies, then I started wondering about “being and acting like a baby/toddler again”, I started acting on some of the desires and urges I got as a result whenever I could, and well, it went on from there as we can see!

Towards the end of this month, I got some cool baby toys, more toddler snacks, and another pack of binkies! That was a pretty good-ish day from what I’m able to remember. c:

Oh yeah! I gots another rattle before then! She was one of the only good parts of a terrible day. I still love her so much.

This month, I also began seeing a friend irl again that I refer to here as friendo! We first met when we were 12, saw each other again twice when we were both 13, and then never met again... until back in 2017 at a Halloween event! For most of this year, we saw each other weekly, and I’m so happy to say that friendo is my best irl friend. He’s really an amazing guy. He doesn’t know it, but he’s helped me get through the rest of my depressive episode.

Yup, I said it. Remember when I said I thought the episode I had back in November last year was over and that I probably just cheated one and thus was irritable as a result? Hoo, buddy, I was so wrong... I was still depressed and had no idea and it blew up in my face. It was bad. I’m talking being hardly able to get my chores done, being able to get out of bed being a miraculous achievement, happiness being a rare feeling. 

It was so bad that my doctor told me if I kept having problems, we’d have to talk about “getting a mood stabilizer or anti-depressant on board”. 

Fortunately, it hasn’t reached that point, and things started getting gradually better when I finally admitted I was depressed and got help after things took a sharp turn for the worse briefly (my parents even let me take a few days off of my chores so I could focus on resting and recovery! They’re no strangers to depression themselves).

The only happy thing I can really note during this time involving regression is that I discovered one of the very few things that could make me feel happy that wasn’t involving my special interests: Wearing diapers. It’s kinda funny to me!  Depressed me was quick to figure out that was likely one of her best ways to cope. 

That event sucks because now whenever I start feeling sad for more than one day, well, as you can imagine I immediately begin worrying that it’s coming back for another round. Whenever I stop feeling as happy, I start observing myself more closely. The thought of it coming back actually scares me.

I know one thing for sure: If that beast comes back, I’m going to get myself medicated for it ASAP. I’d really rather not, but if it comes back, then I guess it’s safe to say that seeing as I’ve struggled with depression on-and-off since at least 2013, medication’s probably a good idea!

Man! How’s that for a ramble? Let’s move on and talk about February! My ex came back to me after he stopped talking to me in October. At first, I was so happy! I quickly began befriending him again, especially after I learned that his ex-girlfriend, whom he had just broke up with, was less-than-ideal towards him.

But then I discovered he wanted to get back with me and was actively trying to get me to. I was scared if I flat-out said “I do not want to get back with you. I want to just be friends”, he’d flip out in the bad way. Honestly, he probably would. So what did I do?

Did what I felt was best to do with the help of Mama.

Let’s just say we’re not friends anymore. :3c I still feel bad about it sometimes, but hey, I can write An Actual List of problems involving our relationship, romantic and otherwise, so I guess it’s valid to not be comfortable with being his friend anymore, especially since it’s clear he just wants me back with him, no matter how I feel. He still stares at me whenever we play baseball. It bothers me a lot. Hopefully, he’ll get over me soon.

On the more positive and regressive side of things, some cool things happened. Friendo also pretty much called me out about me being little a lot (even when I’m big!) and accepted it without realizing it. Some may say he didn’t, but I think he did and it means so much to me. Pretty sure I almost cried of joy when that happened. I think about it every now and then and love friendo a little more. He’s a keeper for sure when it comes to friends!

March was w i l d. First day into the month, I literally had one of my then-rare nonverbal episodes. I was worried that maybe I was beginning to become depressed again as I noticed I was beginning to feel more tired. As I know now, turns out it was just my autistic burnout kind of setting back in-- oh, and my anxiety beginning to reach the point where I couldn’t cope anymore. But I didn’t know this at the time.

I shrugged it off briefly-- until I had another episode while on voice-chat with friendo. And another one the next day while on a real life trip to a museum. And then another when Kim came to visit... The nonverbal episodes rapidly became a close-to-daily experience, sometimes totally daily. As I watched myself “regress” as my mom and aunt put it, I was confused and scared about what was happening to me. The confusion eased once I figured out it was burnout, but obviously the fear didn’t really.

I went off my ADHD medication I was taking at the time (Adderall) towards the end of the month. I still find it interesting that I couldn’t regress on it. I don’t quite know why! I just couldn’t.

I tried taking two other medications after, but they... didn’t quite work, at least in pleasant ways. I won’t go into detail on those!

Kiddo-wise, I got new window curtains for my room! They’re one of the first things I see every morning. It’s very nice~ One of the things that gives my room the kiddy vibe of it. Oh, and I got a Paw Patrol bowl this month, too! I love to eat Cheerios out of it~

Literally the last day of this month, guess what happened? Kim moved in! That was an awesome day~ It sucked seeing her cry, though (that part right there? A bit of a personal part that I suppose I won’t share since I’m not sure if she’d be okay with it or not)

April was a Nice Month! I finally started going to occupational therapy (I was originally going to start in May, but I got pushed forward a month) and I can say with confidence it’s helped me a lot in the time I got to go. My occupational therapist taught me a lil trick I can do before I actually try eating any foods I want to try and it’s made my life much easier. I can try all the kiddy foods I want now without feeling as anxious about it! :D Who would’ve known that I’d like peanut butter sandwiches and string cheese? I wouldn’t have! Also, the Wilbarger brush? A gift to mankind imo

What else happened this month? Let’s see here... I went on anxiety medication via suggestion of my therapist/psychologist (oh my gosh, life-changer right there friends, 10/10, I actually don’t know how I lived without it), watched my nonverbal episodes take a major decrease afterwards, and Mommy surprised me with a pack of diapies with tapes! I can definitely say I prefer diapies with tapes, but I’m not that picky. Actually, I kind of am. It depends on how old I’m regressing to. Then I’m kinda picky, heh heh

May tbh? A pretty quiet month. All I can note is that summer break started for Kai and I and we both got to actually take a full summer break without the usual math-work we have to do! (I’m dyscalculic and prone to what my mom and I call “math skill regression”, so that’s why I have to practice. Idk about Kai, but I think it’s because she seems to have some difficulties with math herself)

The day I was told about our Complete Summer Break(tm), man, I flipped! I told myself I would make this summer the littlest one ever! Did I succeed? Sadly, no. But hey, there’s always next summer! And the next one if that doesn’t work out...

June was super-duper cool! I got a new bed to replace my queen-sized one and I managed to get a complete Paw Patrol bed set for it! I love my bed so much~ It’s so cute and Literally Perfect, especially when we consider the fact that I also have a weighted blanket with Elsa and Anna from Frozen on it! (I’ve actually had it for about two years now, but it’s not shown in the photo-set in the link!) Oh, and let’s not forget the Pillow Pet I’ve used as my main pillow since I first received it back in 2010! (That’s not in the photo-set either!)

The day after I got my new bed? Baseball ended for the summer. I knew what to do the first Saturday of no baseball. Funny enough, as if she read my mind, Mama surprised me with some Paw Patrol bandages that day! They always cheer me up whenever I get a boo-boo :3c

Towards the end of this month, I celebrated this blog’s one year anniversary! I am seriously so glad I made this blog. If I hadn’t, I can’t imagine what my life would be like, where I’d still be hiding this from A LOT of people, where I likely wouldn’t have met and become friends with quite a bit of y’all, where I wouldn’t have become more comfortable with myself. I’m sure I’d be very unhappy and feeling so trapped and lonely involving this. Otherwise... I simply can’t imagine what my life would be like otherwise.

As if I observed this day without thinking, I went to the Dollar Store pretty much next to Easter Seals (where I went for occupational therapy) place and had quite the shopping trip! That was fun~

July was a pretty nice month, I suppose! Early this month marked one year since I first wore a diaper for the first time since my first childhood! I just had to observe it in a specific way (aka wearing a diaper), only the day before the actual anniversary itself. Funny enough, Kim’s cat ended up coming to live with us that day! Her name is Rogue and she's really cute! She can be really mean sometimes, though. She ended up having kittens later this month~

Another regression-related thing that happened was that while we were on vacation, I got some cool toys! I got a train with lil block things on it, three stacking cars, a pink spiky ball, and two teddy rattles! I... still need to post pictures of those, apparently. I also got a dinoroar plushie that I named Jackson! He’s one of my favorite plushies and I love him a lot. I should post a piccy of him on here sometime!

Something else that happened on vacation was that I went nonverbal the second day of being there. Everyone, including me, was chill since it was normal by then. I went to bed that night and woke up the next morning, only to find I was still nonverbal. Talk about quite a shock for everyone! (I normally stop being nonverbal once I sleep, so this was really weird for me)

I ended up spending the rest of the vacation nonverbal, which I was pretty chill with, save for some problems communicating in a hot-tub without my tablet (Kim had a hard time keeping up with what I signed). 

The day after we got home, back came my verbal skills. Five days later? If I’ve got my memory of what day correct, I heard Dad coming home from where he volunteers occasionally and suddenly got the paralyzing feeling in my throat I usually get just before I go nonverbal. In around ten minutes, I was nonverbal, but for seemingly no reason. 

Save for two or so brief breakthroughs, I spent quite a while without mouth-words. My family and therapist and I have figured out what the cause is likely since then. (It’s quite long... I actually had the explanation here, but removed it cause it was Way Too Long. If anyone’s curious, I’m okay with talking about it if anyone wants to message me n ask about it~)

August isn’t very exciting! 

Non-kiddo wise, I got my IPad to use as an AAC device! I use Proloquo2go on it if anyone’s curious. I honestly love it a lot.

Kiddo-wise, the only thing I can really note is that I... kinda started sucking my thumb again. Oops :3c Kim’s made me mostly stop though, by kind of using consequences for me if I didn’t stop and get my chew necklace I like to suck on (One big example I can think of: “Go get your necklace or we won’t cuddle anymore.”). She even had Kai take over redirecting me when she left for Texas the next month! It’s not fun, but I guess I don’t need to risk making my already severe overbite worse.

September didn’t have a lot either! The only thing I can think of noting is that I tried some Paw Patrol mac n cheese. Either the two or so brands I’ve tried weren’t that good or I just don’t like mac n cheese! Who knows? I’m probably gonna try Kidfresh’s mac n cheese if I can actually find it irl and if I don’t like it, I think we can safely conclude that I just don’t like mac n cheese.

October was a v nice month as semi-usual the past couple years! I finally got some Kidfresh food to try out. I like their super-blastin’ triple cheese pizza bites a lot! I don’t like their chicken meatballs, though. I have quite a bit of foods I wanna try from Kidfresh next and I can’t quite decide which, but I’ll probably try their cheese pizza or chicken nuggets or maybe their fish sticks next!

I also went trick-or-treating for Halloween! it was super fun, except when Kai got upset about being treated Not So Great by others (Example: People loved to give kiddos multiple pieces of candy and just give her one piece when her turn came, despite having lots of candy for everyone... Can confirm this myself) and when I used my IPad to say trick-or-treat for the first time there, I was greeted by the lady turning away from me, apparently no longer paying attention to me, and beginning to go on about “kids playing on their phones and tablets”... How’s that for hurtful? Last time I checked, Halloween was for everyone, no matter how they say trick-or-treat.

In case anyone’s wondering, I’m going trick-or-treating again next year and have no plans to stop ever cause I’m stubborn. :3c I’m just going to find a place that will be cool with people “too old to be trick-or-treating” trick-or-treating to take my trick-or-treating business-- and hey, maybe I won’t have to encounter any ableism there!

November has nothing I can note besides me getting a new pair of overalls! This was not only useful seeing as I might be getting close to outgrowing my first pair I got a few years back, but also welcome! It’s nice having overalls that are blue instead of some green country print thing all over.

December was... an adventure! I slowly began regaining my mouth words, which means that I can babble again (A lot of the sounds I make while babbling are apparently inaccessible to me when I’m nonverbal as I’ve discovered)! It’s nice being able to babble to myself again when I’m very small instead of just staying silent and occasionally giggling, squealing, and perhaps vocal stimming in the way I’m able to when I’m nonverbal.

At Walmart, while shopping for some fellow kiddo friends (y’all know who y’all are, hee hee hee~), I ended up picking up some small stuff for myself! I got another Paw Patrol plate, a set of bath toys, and a doggie and piggy rattle! I’ve posted a piccy of the plate already, but not everything else! Guess that’s some of the stuff I need to do for next year~

Christmas was great! I got lots of toys! I also got quite a bit of Paw Patrol merch! I love my new toys so much. I’m especially glad that I finally have more blocks to play with, and another Mr. Potato Head I can make super great creations with, like monsters n aliens disguised as a repairman!

Oh! I also got a Fisher-Price record player toy after wanting it for so long! I love it soooo much!! Whenever I play with it, I get so flappy n clappy n wiggly n vocal stimmy... I just have so much love for it! It’s definitely one of my favorite toys to play with right now.

I also got a 3D model of the solar system that I’m gonna build n hang up in my room sometime soon! I actually had a 3D model of the solar system in one of my kiddo room fantasies for the longest time omg. Oooh, if I can find a way to get rid of the popcorn ceiling (never put glow-in-the-dark stuff on a popcorn ceiling), I bet it would go so good with another glow-in-the-dark star set that also includes a big 3D moon and 6 meteorite stones! Y’all, my room just gets cuter and more kiddie-like as time goes on...

As we can all see, I’ve had quite the year! It’s had its good and bad parts of course, and I’d say overall, it was a pretty good year! Hmm, you know what? I should list some people who have played a role in making this year Great!

Mommy - Mama, I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am for all you’ve done for me. The past year you’ve taken me to therapy appointments, held me and bottlefed me, and helped me finally get occupational therapy after wanting to go for 3 years. You’re such a beautiful person, inside and out. You love me for who I am, and I love you for who you are right back <3

Daddy - I didn’t list you last year, but to be honest, I think I should this year! You’re trying your best and I can appreciate that. From taking me to therapy appointments, to being okay with me using bottles and sippy cups, to getting me that Paw Patrol nightlight back in May if I’m correct, you’ve done a lot for me. You’re a good dad. I need to tell you that more often. I love you Daddy.

Kai - You’re such a good sister I can’t even begin-- You’re just? so accepting of me??? and you’re such a good person???? I’m love you????? Seriously, thank you for being there for me pretty much all our lives and taking care of me whenever I needed it, especially early this year during my depressive episode. Love ya sis <3

Kim - I, umm... I love you!! You’re so sweet, gentle, and you’re so accepting of my age regression (or as you call it, “identifying as a 7-year-old”). I had lots of fun browsing the toy aisle with you that one time! I’ve miss you lots since you decided to stay in Texas back in October, but hey, at least you’ll visit us sometimes! And you’ve got a nice man I actually like to live your life with. Love ya sissy <3

Ray - You’re super cool and adorable~ (Random fun fact: I tend to think of you whenever I read- or hear- the word “Ray”) Also, I still love that mood board ya made me back in 2017. I’m never gonna get over it! Hope you’re doing alright, buddy <3

Cass - It’s been even longer since we talked! You haven’t been on Tumblr in a while it seems, actually. I hope you’re doing okay and that you’re just busy (in a good way, preferably) and that’s why you haven’t been online! You’re so cute and sweet. Whenever I can, you know what I’m gonna do? Take a picture of my bumblebee plushie and send it to you, just for you <3

Leah - Oh goodness, you’re someone else who I haven’t talked to in a while, as well as who seems to not have been as active as of late. I hope you’re doing okay! I can’t thank you enough for the times you checked on me when I wasn’t okay. You are... so sweet I literally can’t

Meena - You are literally... so cute! You’re super sweet, too! I always have lots n lots of fun whenever we video-chat n talk together! You n Iku are actually the first people whom I met on Tumblr I’ve gotten to video-chat with! Also, your cats are so pure n good I can’t. Please pet them for me if you can! (I love both you and Iku so much)

All my followers - Whether or not we’ve talked before, I love and appreciate all of my followers! According to my Totally Professional Research(tm), I have discovered a link between my followers and cuteness! I have lots of love for each and every one of y’all. Thanks for following me~

2018 has proven to be quite the adventure full of different discoveries, like that I’m very good at horse-riding, that I can spend at least an hour playing with my rattles and other baby toys if I want to, that I apparently have IBS... It’s been quite the ride!

This year has also proven to be the year of growth for me. I’m beginning to stand up for myself and my needs more often, I’ve become more proud of who I am, and each day that passes, I love myself more and continue to become less afraid to be who I truly am.

I can’t wait to see what next year will bring, and what kind of person I’ll become as time goes on. I’m sure my evolution of who I am as a person isn’t quite finished yet. Whatever I become, it’s bound to be wonderful. And most importantly, I get to enter next year with each and every one of y’all.

From my plushies, plush rattles, and I, happy, happy new year! May you learn to love yourself if you haven’t quite yet, your babas/sippies/kiddo cups always remain full of your favorite kiddo drink, and you always have lots of your favorite kiddy/baby things, whether it’s toys, diapies, binkies, or baby food n toddler snacks! 

As always, remember to stay little/tiny/small.

[notreallyuseless]

Chase’s day (END)

Previous [x]

When Chase woke up the next day, he felt like a truck had drive over him fifteen times in a row. He just felt like staying in bed and ignore the world around him. Everyone was doing their things, going on about their day, while Chase was stuck in this timeless space where a minute could stretch itself into hours of self-loathing. He didn’t want to stumble upon the others. He felt bad for thinking badly of them. He was the one in the wrong, he should be happy to have friends around him most days. One day without them didn’t have to mean the end, right? But it did. It did because he needed his friends the most on Father’s Day. And they weren’t there, by choice or not. If one of them called out to Chase to spend time with him because he needed someone, he’d drop everything to get to him. But Chase didn’t reach out. So, he really was in the wrong. But once again, they knew how that day was hard for him. He rolled over and expected to fall off the couch but was surprise to discover the couch was magically wider than he expected. He opened his eyes and quickly shut them up again. The sunlight through the window was blinding. Even if he was still hangover, he knew there was no window that close to the couch. He sat up, eyes still closed and patted around him. He was in bed, so someone must have brought him to a room, most likely his. He finally stood up and staggered toward what he thought was a door, but he didn’t even do two steps forward that he fell on the floor, knocking down a few things with him. He had hit his head on something hard and the once painful headache was even worst now. That’s what happen when you try to do something when your life is falling apart. He felt two hands placed themselves on his armpit and straighten him up. He still wasn’t stable on his feet, so he leaned on the person behind him.

“Chase, I’m maybe a superhero, but you’re really heavy if you put all your weight on me. Can’t you help me a little?”

He tried standing up, but his legs were still wobbly. He felt sick. Very sick.

“Batman.”

At this word, Jackie grabbed an empty trashcan in the blink of an eye and placed it in Chase’s hand. Not a second later, Chase’s head was buried in the trashcan, emptying his stomach. They both sat down on the floor, Jackie slowly rubbing Chase’s back. Even if his vision was still blocked off by the plastic of the trashcan, Chase knew that the others had meet up in the room.

“Chase... we’re...we’re sorry for yesterday.”

“Don’t... I don’t care anymore.”

It was silence in the room. He could hardly hear someone shuffling on his feet and someone else messing up his hair. He felt a hand on his shoulder and removed his head from the bin to look at Jamie that sign at him, smiling.

“But we do care.”

“It’s... it’s nothing guys. I’ll get over it. It was one of my bad days and it fell on Father’s day on all days so... don’t bother. It’s one of my depressing moment.”

“Then we’ll treat it as such”, said Henrik a little too loud for Chase’s ears. Chase then felt hands take his ankle and lift him up with the help of Jackie.

“Wait! What are you-”, began to say Chase before another wave of sickness took him. Henrik motioned Jamie with his head to stay near Chase with the bin, in which Chase didn’t wait to use again.

After a small trip throughout the house, with a few stops for Chase to be sick and some others for Marvin to also be sick, they finally arrived into the living room. Chase could remember how messy the place was after his drinking. Bottles were scattered everywhere, all pillows on the floor to let him have all the couch and the already messy floor was intact. But now, the room was cleaned up. Like nothing happened. No bottles, no snacks, no pillows on the floor. Henrik and Jackie gently placed Chase on the couch and wrapped him up in Chase’s bed sheets.

“What are you doing, guys?”

“Taking care of you, silly”, answered Jamie still smiling.

They all left the room, one after the other except for Jamie who sat down on the floor next to the couch. He looked up at Chase, his smile never leaving his face. Chase started crying softly.

“Why did you all leave me alone yesterday? I needed you...”

“Marvin and I forgot about Father’s Day. We are sorry. This day does not mean much to us, since we have no father, but we should have thought of you. It was selfish of us.”

“No, it’s selfish of me to think you should cancel something you’re excited about because of me.”

“I’m sure if you would have called us, we would have left the show in a heartbeat.”

Jamie looked around the room while signing, like it was a secret.

“Marvin’s magic tricks were better than this fraud of a magician.”

Chase’s laugh filled out the quiet room. His cheeks were still stained by his tears, but he knew deep down that he could count on Jamie and Marvin to distract him. Not long after, the other three came back in the room, all bringing something. Henrik had a tray filled with steaming cup followed by Marvin, also bringing a tray but this one filled with dry cereals. They gently put the two trays on the small table in the living room before Marvin plopped down on the floor next to Jamie and Henrik pushed Chase a little bit on the couch to have a spot. Jackie then entered the room and had so many bedsheets on him, the others could only see his blue shoes. Faking anger, he threw the sheets on the other four, making them disappear under the amount of fabric there was. They had wrapped Chase so tightly first, he couldn’t even move. After almost spilling his tea on himself, Jackie unwrapped a little bit Chase, without letting him have access to his feet.

A few movies later, and a few cups of hot drinks, they were all chatting happily together. Chase often tried to tell them they didn’t have to spend time with him but none of them wanted to hear him. They felt bad for leaving him alone at home and making him feel like drinking alcohol was the only solution. Chase didn’t want to dwell on yesterday, but he needed to know something.

“Jackie...where were you yesterday? When I didn’t find you, I thought immediately that you were fighting crimes in the city.”

“Oh..Uh... In fact, I was stuck in the basement.”

All eyes turned to him, a mixture of confusion and amusement in their eyes.

“A shelf fell off next to the door and broke the handle”, some laugh could be heard amongst them, “Stop laughing! I thought I was gonna die! Anyway, I decided to try breaking the window but since it’s at floor level, and it was raining, I didn’t want to flood the basement.”

“A light rain wouldn’t have flood the basement.”

“Shut up! I was panicking, OK? Anyway, after hours of going in circles, and after night fall, I THEN tried pushing the door to see if I could open it and...it did. I just had to push it.”

They all laughed together at how silly Jackie was sometimes. This guy was supposed to save people and he couldn’t even leave a room. Chase’s sides were aching. Maybe his day had been bad and depressing, but at least he hadn’t been stuck in the basement.

“Guys, calm down! Well, after I left the room, I went around the house and found you on the couch, clutching a bottle in your hand. You kept mumbling the same thing over and over, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I’m the one who brought you to your room and cleaned up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Ja-“

“Don’t you dare apologize. I had to at least do this for you. I couldn’t even spend time with you yesterday. None of us could. Sometimes, small actions have a big impact on people. I knew you’d wake up feeling like garbage today, but I wanted you to only feel like it, not be surrounded by it.”

“And I could have found a moment between two surgery to call you, see how you were doing. I was so caught up on making sure people around me felt better that I never thought of making sure you were alright. You’re my friend, my dearest friend, and I should have make some time to let you know how good of a friend and father you are.”

“Guys... Stop...”, whispered Chase with new tears falling from his eyes. Jamie shush him up with the wave of his hand

“We will not stop until you understand how good of a person you are, Chase. You are always there for us, even when you do not feel like it. You get joy by trying to help us and we should do the same to you. You are always trying your best, even if you are far from being the best at some things, like cooking. You are my inspiration Chase. I want to be as good as a person as you.”

“It’s my turn I guess... Chase, you’re like a father to me. I hardly ever tell you that. But you’re the most hardworking, kind and determined person I know. You’re always trusting us and encouraging us to try new things, even if it means we blow up the kitchen. No one should feel like they aren’t needed or like they can’t ask for help when in a crisis like yours. I want you to get through your thick skull that never in a million year would we feel annoyed by you asking for help.”

More tears rolled down Chase’s cheeks. He couldn’t understand how lucky he was to have such a good bunch of silly friends to have around. No one was perfect. But everyone of them tried to be the best. For once in a really long time, Chase felt like he deserved some happiness in his life. Not everything had to be grey and depressing, some moments could be lighthearted and colorful. Father’s Day was a bad day, like many other days before. But not all the following days should be like them. They could be better, or worst, but with friends like Chase had, every bad day could become a good one with a single call. He still had some doubts, he knew himself and asking for help would be harder than he thought, but he'd try nonetheless to be and to feel better. He stretched out his arm and they all hugged together, in a big messy pile of bedsheets and tears. Through tears, Marvin spoke softly.

“Without you, we’d fall apart.”

( I wrote it to apologize for the unwanted angst. It was nice to write something else than angst for once)

Tag List: @chase-brody-protection-squad, @enakane

[jaymarawrites-blog]

LIKE RATS - 24 - Sangria

“How is it with Michael?” Tara didn’t waste time. She never did.

“You know,” I shrugged.

We’d been on the road all of fifteen minutes. It’s not like I hadn’t thought about how I was going to approach this with Tara. I just hadn’t made a decision. But in reality, I knew any decision I made would probably be a distant memory when we got talking. I’d be better off not stressing about this on top of everything else. Or maybe I actually needed this to focus my stress on.

“What the fuck made you want to go on tour? You’re old and married. I thought you didn’t have to put in those groupie hours anymore.”

“It’s been long enough I forgot how much touring sucks. We thought it would be fun to travel together again. Turns out it’s not so romantic when you’ve got years of togetherness behind you.”

Tara flipped the switches to roll down both of our automatic windows and I sat up straight. “You roll down windows now?”

“Today I do.”

“What about your hair?” I teased. A half-ponytail sat up high on her head, but Tara was always too worried about her hair to roll down windows.

“The tour smell is more important than my hair right now.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes, lifted my arms over my head. “Really? That bad?”

“Jesus Spenser!” Tara contorted her face. “I can’t tell if your pits smell like pussy or your pussy smells like pits but Jesus fuck put your arms down!”

A deep, guttural laugh tumbled from my mouth and tears came to my eyes. A feeling of weightlessness came over me. It felt so fucking good to be home, even if we weren’t quite home yet, even if it wasn’t technically my home anymore. It felt so good to be on my way back to a world before L.A., a world before the band, and a world before Michael.

I propped my feet on the dashboard and sunk down into the passenger seat.

“Mama Dukes?’

A slight wrinkle in her forehead betrayed the arch of an eyebrow behind her sunglasses. “I’m just glad you’re home. She can concentrate all her bullshit on you now.”

“Fuuuuuck.”

I loved my mother, but it was much easier to miss her than it was to live with her. Or even in the same state.

“We’re doing mani-pedis tomorrow, the three of us.”

I relaxed my head into the headrest. “Nice.”

“But you need to fix this shit first.”

I looked over at her.

“I mean, is it literal shit or what? I will put you in the shower myself and hose you down if I have to. We’re not putting lipstick on a fucking warthog, here.”

I laughed again. “Fuck off.”

The closer we got to home, the more I felt myself melt into the passenger seat. Everything stressful was being left behind on the bus, in Seattle, and tomorrow all my problems would be moving on to another city. As long as I was here, with family, I could relax, I would be fine.

And who said I ever had to go home anyway?

Tara’s boyfriend dragged my suitcase up the stairs to the second floor of the house, to my old bedroom, where he and Tara had cleared out boxes and other storage items for my stay. When I visited the house Mama Dukes never acknowledged her tendency to use my room for their sundry items and I pretended I didn’t know she did it. It didn’t matter to me how she chose to make use of space in her own home, but for some reason it seemed to matter to her that I see it as it had been.

I checked the time on my phone and saw a message I hadn’t noticed when I received it.

Chris Kane Cell Safe travels

A cold wave rolled through me and I pocketed my phone. I didn’t know if I liked that or not. I didn’t know if I wanted to revel in the fact that Chris had thought of me today or if I just wanted to turn all Chris-related thoughts off. It was hard to think of Chris without thinking of Michael, after all. And the whole point of being here was not to think of any of it.

I pulled the phone back out of my pocket, stared it down for a moment, and set it on the nightstand before leaving the bedroom.

Tara, Ronnie, and I had already congregated around the kitchen island when Mama Dukes made her way through the front door, arms full of groceries. Mama Dukes had hardly cooked a meal since my dad had retired, but she always used my visits as an excuse to keep snack foods in stock.

Tara and Ronnie took the bags and set to work putting packages of Double-Stuf Oreos and Sun Chips and Kudos bars in the pantry and bottled water and diet soda in the fridge. Mama Dukes wrapped me up in her arms and said, her voice soft like pancakes on a Sunday, “You are just lovely but you look awful.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’m just exhausted.”

“Well.” Mama Dukes dropped her weight into a chair at the island like it was more than it appeared. “I hope you’re not too exhausted for Filomena’s.”

I grinned. Filomena’s hadn’t been my favorite place to eat since I was in high school, but Mama Dukes still had it in her head that I would eat three meals a day there if I could. I was always afraid correcting her would hurt her feelings. Filomena’s was still a perfectly fine place to eat, after all, and I had all the time in the world to eat anywhere else I wanted while I was here.

“I could be persuaded to go to Filomena’s.”

“Do me a favor, though, Spense,” Mama Dukes said. “Shower first.”

A relaxing shower was the perfect segue into a quick nap. Clean and damp, I threw on one of my oversized tees and tucked myself right into the queen-sized bed. A real bed I got all to myself, with no threat of Michael’s rummaging around waking me up.

Until the vibrating of my phone on the nightstand interrupted my dozing.

I wanted to ignore the phone, but I also wanted to turn off the vibrate setting. Ugh. I picked up the phone and couldn’t help but see the texts.

Michael I love you. Have a good time.

Sam Nabhani Cell Be well - you’re not missing much here. Catch you back in L.A.

Chris Kane Cell Did you make it safely? Are you feeling better

Vibrate setting off. Sound off. Chris’s texts were the only ones that begged a response and even he wasn’t getting one. I’d spend the rest of night imagining what I might respond, no doubt, but I wouldn’t do it. Not yet, not tonight.

A couple of sangrias through dinner I don’t think I could’ve picked Chris out of a lineup. It was okay. That was how I wanted it. Tara kept the drinks coming, Mama Dukes and Dads paid, and Ronnie wanted to know more and more about L.A. I was drunk enough to tell him the things he wanted to hear, about driving by movie sets and doing makeup for Marilyn Manson who was a big sweetheart. But I was lucid enough to leave out the things no one wanted to hear, about Xanax coladas, the homeless outnumbering rats. Avocado toast with sprouts.

Back at the house the drinks kept going. Tara had the place fully stocked with the sweetest supermarket wine, indistinguishable from Welch’s grape juice. And Tara played her iPod through a speaker and we did karaoke even though we didn’t have instrumental karaoke tracks, a microphone, or the song lyrics, and what we didn’t know we made up even louder.

For the night, if only this night, I had no ties outside of this house. Outside of Mama Dukes, Dads, Tara, and even Ronnie. Ronnie, tonight, was dearer to me than my own husband and my husband was the furthest thing from my mind as Tara and I made “Africa” into a duet. This was the kind of night my family thought I had in L.A. on a regular basis. They had no idea that I was typically at home, alone, while the rest of the city partied with strangers because how could you meet the people you needed to know if you were content to know the people you’d already met?

Mama Dukes retired when Dads found The Texas Chainsaw Massacre on a movie channel and Dads retired when we refused to turn off the iPod. We played 90’s hits and tried to get them to sync with the movie and the last thing I registered before passing out was Leatherface clasping his meaty arms around Sally’s waist and dragging her through a banging screen door to Billy Corgan rasping “Today.”

I hadn’t looked at my phone in close to twelve hours.

[mishellejones]

To Build a Home ch. 6

AO3

Start from the beginning

Four months earlier…

There was something so interesting, Clarke had found, about the fragility of human life. Not just in terms of death, though that was a large part of it,… but in the instability of a mind. In the way that if enough pressure was put onto it, it would splinter like an old rotted tree branch. Sometimes it didn’t even take a buildup. It only required one seemingly innocuous moment in time to fracture in disarray and then suddenly… suddenly it was all over. The human consciousness couldn’t handle it. And it would collapse into itself and lay, festering in the wounds made from the shards of the once perfectly proficient mind.

The fragility didn’t only expand to human consciousness… Oh no, the universe wouldn’t allow life to be so “easy”. Sometimes the foundation of a family a person once believed to be so solid would crumble beneath them – leaving them in the desolate loneliness of their own brittle mind.

Clarke had become all too familiar with these facts. Ones she would not wish upon even her worst enemy… But it happened to her. And she had to find a way to live with it.

If her state could even be considered “living” at all.

She sat in the plush chair of her therapist’s office, looking down silently upon her motionless hands in her lap. Her hair was thrown carelessly into a ponytail and the bags under her eyes gave way to the knowledge of the many nights she spent tossing and turning, incapable of finding sleep. It had been the same look she donned for many months now, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

The door clicked open, signifying the arrival of her therapist Emily. Clarke made no move to acknowledge her.

The middle-aged woman moved across to sit in front of her and greeted her the same way she did every time they had a meeting, “Hello Clarke, how are we feeling this afternoon?”

Clarke was sure that Emily was a nice woman, really. But given that she had to endure a full hour of small talk with her every week, she learned that the cheeriness in her voice was quite false. It made her think that maybe it was the therapists that needed therapy after all.

“The same,” Clarke replied quietly, continuing to gaze down at her hands.

Emily cleared her throat and scribbled on her paper. Clarke hated that goddamned paper.

“It was your birthday a few days ago right? Did you do anything special?”

Indeed, it had been her birthday. Her seventeenth to be exact. But considering she could hardly find it in herself to smile anymore, she didn’t celebrate it.  Unless the hastily thrown together cake her mother had made from a box counted.

“No.”

“That’s alright, celebrating isn’t for everybody.”

Clarke’s heart seemed to seize in her chest. Her dad loved celebrating birthdays. Had loved celebrating birthdays. She bit her cheek to keep from revealing any emotion, drawing blood. The metallic taste brought her back to reality.

It had been three months. Shouldn’t she be okay by now?

“It’s okay Clarke. It’s okay to not be okay…” Emily’s voice was soft. Sympathetic.

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want her sympathy.

There was more scribbling, and then, “How has your sleep been? Are you still having nightmares?”

She swallowed thickly, “Yes.” Too many.

“And the panic attacks… Have you had one since we last met?”

Besides school, she hadn’t really been out of the house. Less opportunity to run into things that would trigger her anxiety.

“No.”

“Good,” Emily sighed, “I know that you don’t want to be here Clarke. Believe me, I do. But you need to know that it’s for your own health. And that in order for you to get better… You have to want to.”

Clarke made no move to answer, just continued to stare blankly down at her lap. As cliché as it was, she wasn’t entirely sure that there was a reason to get better. Her life just seemed so… desolate… now. Even when she was surrounded by people she still felt utterly alone.

“Clarke. Do you want to get better?”

She did look up then, into the inquisitive eyes of her therapist. She wanted to give Emily the answer that she knew she wanted, but her mind pulled her back to that night. The terror. The helplessness. The vision of her father collapsing lifeless right in front of her… She flinched and looked away from Emily, fighting to display the devastation she felt.

But when Clarke replied, her voice cracked. “I don’t know.”

+++

Present Day…

Clarke was never particularly one for dressing up. Whether it be formal wear or costumes for parties, she had always found it to be a bit trivial. There didn’t seem to be a point in parading around in a fancy get-up when she knew that she would really rather be in her normal clothes. She never wanted to portray herself as something she knew she wasn’t. Not to mention the fact that she was always much too busy anyway. School work had the better portion of her attention.

Yet, looking into the mirror hanging on the back of Raven’s bathroom door, Clarke had to admit that it was fascinating… To look upon herself and not see what she normally saw.

It was about an hour or so before the party, and the two girls were getting ready together. Raven had done an amazing job of twisting Clarke’s blonde curls into an intricate updo of loose braids. Though her makeup was still natural, it was a bit more than she was used to. Golden eyeshadow covered her lids, making her look regal and elegant. She donned a draped, flowy white dress synched at the waist by a golden rope belt, and metal ringlets circled her biceps.

The normal teenage Clarke didn’t stand before her… but a regal Greek goddess. One who certainly held more beauty than she thought she had the ability to.

There was a knock on the door then, startling Clarke from her thoughts.

“You can come in,” she called to the person on the other side – whom of which she was certain was just Raven checking on her.

As the door began to swing open, Raven was saying, “Did the dress fit you -,” upon seeing Clarke, her eye’s widened, “Chica! Daaaamn, that looks amazing on you!”

Clarke flushed slightly, “Thanks.”

The door pushed open further as Raven entered the bathroom. She was dressed as a 1920’s flapper. Complete with the short chin length wig, bedazzled headband, and tasseled dress.  

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Clarke commented as Raven spun in a little circle to show off her costume.

“Girl, we look hot. I know you don’t want to draw too much attention but no way that’ll be happening. Not with the way your boobs and legs are shown off in that dress.”

Clarke glanced again at herself in the mirror. It was true, the slit in the dress went up mid-thigh, showing off quite a bit of leg. And the neck line… well, it was a bit lower than she would normally wear.

Clarke shrugged at her friend, “I guess it’s time for me to live a little and have fun.”

Raven snorted, “You? Have fun?”

She crossed her arms, “I can have fun.”

Raven laughed as she took Clarke’s arm in her hand and began pulling her out of the bathroom. “We’ll see about that,” she said.

+++

Even from where they had parked, the music could be heard. The field was crowded with cars and random costumed people heading in the direction of the barn. Clarke hadn’t even been aware that there were a large enough number of people in Ark to allow for there to be so many people attending the party.

“Drinking game idea,” Raven said to her as they made their way towards the flashing lights and the bumping music, “Take a shot every time you see a girl dressed as Harley Quinn.”

Clarke laughed, “We’d be dead by the end of the night.”

When they entered through the doors of the barn, Clarke was surprised to see the number of teenagers that had managed to cram themselves into it. Though it was a spacious structure, it was teeming with more life than it probably had ever seen before. The music was three times as loud as it had been by the car, a DJ set up in the corner. Halloween decorations were strewn haphazardly on the walls and ceiling, and there were orange spot lights dancing all over the room. The crowds of people were dancing on each other to the music, paying no attention to anybody around them.

Clarke found it funny how similar it seemed to a club. Whoever put this party on, must have a lot of money to waste.

“Jasper and Monty are supposed to meet us here,” Raven yelled over the music. Again, she took her arm and tugged her into one of the more secluded corners where one of the garbage cans stood. Along the same wall was a table full of Halloween themed snacks and a punch bowl that had a high probability of being spiked. A keg sat on the opposite end of the table.

Raven jerked her head toward the keg, “I’m gonna get us a drink really quick. Be right back.” And before Clarke could protest, she sauntered off.

Clarke took in her surroundings. Many of the guys didn’t have costumes on, but the girls were in ‘sexy’ versions of every sort. Sexy nurse, sexy cop, even sexy Freddy Kruger. There were at least ten different Harley Quinns from the small portion of people that she could actually make out in the dimmed light. The boys who did dress up, well, they sported costumes of tw

o different sorts. They were either horror movie characters or dressed as absurdly large food. She saw a hotdog, a banana, a taco… the list went on.

It was after a moment that she spotted Bellamy. He was in the opposite corner of the room, wearing (unsurprisingly) no costume and talking to a slutty nurse version of Roma. Clarke rolled her eyes as she saw that Roma’s hand rest on Bellamy’s chest and her other tugged at the hem of his white t-shirt. The girl hadn’t an ounce of decency.  Bellamy leaned in and whispered something into Roma’s ear, who Clarke saw giggle in return.

Momentarily, her mind took her back to school when she had witnessed the altercation between Bellamy and the mysterious man. Any remnants of his anger were no longer visible, the only emotion shown on his face being his cocky and flirtatious demeanor. How was it that a single boy could hold so much depth? To Clarke, Bellamy only grew more curious.

She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and turned her gaze back toward the dancing teens in the center. It was best to leave the mystery that was Bellamy Blake unpondered.

Raven returned a second later with two plastic cups of beer, “Here ya go, chica.”

Clarke hesitated, fully aware that she had never been drunk before. She had never had the time or energy to attend any of the snobby parties that her fellow classmates from her private school had ever put on.

Raven cocked an eyebrow, “You can have ‘fun’, huh?” she teased.

Clarke scrunched her eyebrows together determinedly. Though it was a daunting prospect to her, she felt she needed prove to herself that she was not the same prudish and innocent young girl that her mother was so set on believing she was. The girl that she was taught to be.

“Gimme.” She grabbed the cup from Raven’s hand and then threw her head back and downed the contents. She made a face, allowing the bitter taste to sizzle down her throat. When she glanced at her friend, there was an astonished look on her face.

Raven laughed, “Well damn, consider me proven wrong.” She took a swig from her cup and made a disgusted expression, “Never was a fan of beer.”

Clarke was about to reply when she noticed two very familiar figures advancing toward them. “Jasper and Monty!” she said, grabbing hold of Raven’s wrist and tugging her along with her as she made her way to meet her friends.

“What are you even supposed to be?” she questioned an obviously high Jasper. He wore a onesie with the American flag printed on it and a sleeping mask pushed up into his disheveled hair.

He pulled the sleeping mask over his eyes, “I’m the American Dream. Get it?” A bubble of laughter escaped Clarke as she leaned in to give him a hug.

“And you?” she said after doing the same to Monty. He wore an old revolutionary style outfit with a white wig. “George Washington?”

Monty gave her a sheepish look, “Jasper wanted us to match.”

There was a moment of sudden inexplicable giddiness that built in her throat and she couldn’t tamp down on the giggle that burst from her. She wasn’t sure if it was the cup of beer she had just downed catching up to her or if she was just happy to see her friends, but she decided she liked it. Tonight was the night that she was going to let herself forget her past. And she wasn’t going to let anything stand in her way.

For too long she had allowed her self to wallow in her own self-pity. It wasn’t going to be the case any longer.

After grabbing a snack from the table and a cup of punch (it was, indeed, spiked), Raven pulled her into the crowd of dancing bodies. She allowed herself to get lost to the beat of the music, dancing with Raven and the boys in ways she had never danced before. Her bones sung with the drunken bliss that was beginning to sweep its way through her body.

When her skin was sticky with sweat, and her hair had fallen a bit, loose strands hanging in her face, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning she was met with the familiar face of Octavia, dressed as a cat nonetheless. Clarke launched herself at the girl with a hug, a giggle escaping her. She wasn’t sure what caused her to do it, but she was sure that it was right.

Octavia stumbled slightly, caught off guard by the sudden bombardment. But she laughed, “Hey Clarke, I see you’ve had yourself a drink.”

A giggle escaped Clarke once more as she pulled back, “Is it that obvious already?”

Raven leaned in then, yelling over the music. “She’s never been drunk before. She’s a liiiight weight.” Clarke elbowed her at that, though she knew it was quite obviously true.

“Just wait until I get her to smoke,” chimed in Jasper, pausing in his weird jig. Clarke rolled her eyes and shooed him away. She wasn’t too drunk already not to know where a line was drawn.

The girls walked out of the crowd of dancing teens so that they could talk without being in the way of everybody.

“This is Raven by the way,” Clarke said loud enough to be heard over the music.

“I know,” Octavia replied, “I’ve seen her around.” Then she looked at Raven who offered her a smile.

“Why don’t you come dance with us!” Raven offered.

“Absolutely.”

“You guys go ahead,” said Clarke, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom.” She had been ignoring the urge ever since they had been dancing, remembering the myth of “breaking the seal”. But there was no possible way for her to hold it any longer… even if that meant she might have had to go to the out-house located just outside of the barn.

Raven shrugged and pulled Octavia with her toward the dance floor.

Outside of the barn there were still people milling about, drinking and laughing. She even passed a couple that was all but actually having sex with each other against the wooden wall of the barn. She laughed at them as she continued to make her way toward the latrine in the dark. It had to be around 10:30 already, the only light source being the flashing lights from inside the barn and the faint flicker of the lightbulb lit above the outhouse.

As she waited for the girl to finish and exit, she felt a new presence behind her.

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” She knew that deep voice. Loathed the owner of that deep voice. She turned around and crossed her arms as she faced Bellamy, a smirk settled on his face.

“Having fun,” she stated simply. In the faint light he looked almost like a fallen angel, the shadows playing tricks with his handsome features.

She felt her face redden as his gaze swept over her body. Her loosened updo, the low plunge of her neckline, the golden rings that circled her arms, the exposed skin of her leg. She shifted her weight and crossed her arms self-consciously.

“A goddess,” he observed, “Athena maybe? Goddess of wisdom and war? Though it would be an inaccurate depiction…”

Clarke harrumphed, she wasn’t drunk enough to be dealing with him yet. “And what are you?” She said, eyeing his none-costume. “An asshole?”

He snorted, “Cute.”

She gave him an innocent smile. “I try.”

He stepped forward then, leaning his head next to her ear. “Play nice with my sister. I know she invited you here. Do anything to hurt her and we’ll have a problem.”

Anger flashed through her. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. “That’s what you came up to me for? To threaten me? You know I witnessed you and your gang, right? Threaten me and there is nothing that’ll stop me from going to the police. I promise you that, Blake.”

Instead of his eye’s flickering with the anger that she thought they would have, he laughed. “Gang? Is that what you think I’m a part of?”

Her fists clenched at her sides, “I don’t know what you’re a part of. But I know it’s not legal.”

Bellamy scoffed, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I know enough.”

He examined her for a silent moment, seemingly unaware of what to make of her. Clarke stopped herself from fidgeting under the scrutiny of his gaze.

He cocked his head slightly. “You’re an interesting girl, Clarke Griffin.” And then he slowly backed up, keeping eye contact until he finally turned around and retreated into the crowded barn.

There had been far too many moments, in Clarke’s opinion, where she was left watching him leave.

+++

Half an hour and another beer or two later, Clarke was good and truly drunk. Laughing senselessly and gossiping with her friends and Octavia. Dancing and dancing until her feet felt like they would fall off. She felt more alive than she had ever had before. Gone was the fragile girl she had been only a few short months ago. Gone were the thoughts of her father. Of that one horrific night where everything went wrong. Gone was her constant overbearing mind, filling her with every possible thing that could ever go awry. All that was left was the weightless drunken bliss that sung through her bones and caused her to laugh at every little thing no matter if it was funny or not.

And she loved it.

Clarke, Raven, and Octavia had been attempting a game of darts when she decided that she should probably take a break. The logical part of her knew that she would be feeling her decision to drink in the morning and that she should probably drink as much water as she could. So she grabbed a water bottle and pushed her way through the crowded space toward the crisp fall night, bumping into a few people as she did so.

When she was relaxing in the grass gazing at the unlit forest that surrounded the barn, swaying happily to the beat of the music with a drunken smile plastered across her face, an unfamiliar boy approached her. His disheveled blonde hair glimmered in the moonlight as he paused before her, looking down with a soft smile. Something about him seemed out of place. Like he was a bit too old to be at a high school party. Too gruff around the edges. But in her state, Clarke only cocked her head at him and smiled.

“Hey,” he said casually, sitting down beside her in the grass.

She giggled at his lack of costume, though she wasn’t sure why it was so funny to her. “You know this is a costume party, right?” she slurred giddily, “Boys are so silly not wearing costumes to a costume party. You know Bellamy wasn’t wearing a costume? He’s silly too. Wait… You probably don’t know who Bellamy is. Who are you by the way?” The words tumbled out despite Clarke not giving any consent. She would have been more concerned that she was blabbering mindlessly to a stranger had she not been in her current state. Though she did find herself slightly confused at why she mentioned Bellamy.

The boy laughed. “I’m Dax,” he said, and then looked down at his hands sheepishly, “I’ve, uh, been kinda working up the courage to talk to you all night.” He looked up at her then, a half smile on his face.

She bit her lip to stop herself from giggling again. “Me?” She was almost positive she had never seen this boy before, but she couldn’t help but feel a little flattered.

He smiled crookedly, “Yeah you. I saw you dancing with your friends and I thought you looked really pretty in your costume.”

She screwed her face up comically, “But you don’t even know me.”

“I’d like to,” Dax said with a shrug.

Clarke pursed her lips in feigned thought. He was relatively attractive… and if tonight was the night of letting loose, then she might as well allow herself to give the guy a chance.

“I’m Clarke,” she said. And when she smiled, it felt genuine.

Dax leaned in slightly, “Hi Clarke. Nice to meet you.”

She swayed toward him drunkenly, “Nice to meet you too.”

After twenty minutes of chatting and unabashed flirting, he offered to grab her another drink. Stuffing down the part of her that protested, she accepted – the entire time reminding herself that it was her night to have fun. She had never felt so relaxed as she did with alcohol in her system then… So why should she deny the feeling of freedom that another drink would allow her to have? She would just deal with the repercussions in the morning.

When he returned, he offered one of the two plastic cups he was holding to her. He laughed when she threw her head back and gulped half of it down, accepting the burn. Looking up at him, her face split into a smile.

He offered his hand to her, chuckling to himself, “Let’s go somewhere else,” he said quietly, “somewhere private.”

Private. Clarke wasn’t too drunk to not know what offer he was laying down. She was seventeen after all, and even though she had never been involved in a hook-up, she wasn’t a virgin. Maybe he thought she was a naïve young girl, maybe this whole thing was a ruse to get into her pants, but quite frankly, Clarke couldn’t find it in herself to care. He had been charming and sweet enough. He made her laugh – though it wasn’t hard to as she found she was the giggly drunk – and asked her sincere questions.  

A night of fun was what she came here for. So a night of fun was what she was going to get.

Maybe it was her intoxicated state, or maybe it was her helpless yearn for a release from the hell she had wrapped herself up in from the beginning of that night eight months ago, but she placed her hand in his. She’d be back before Raven or Octavia even noticed her absence.

When Dax waggled his eyebrows and pulled her up, she laughed, stumbling against him.

As she followed behind him into the brush of the surrounding woods, something within her began to feel… different. Not right. It was as if a veil had settled itself over her mind and she was viewing her actions as a separate being. Her mind began to go a little hazy and her legs tripped up over nothing. Dax caught her and swung her up into his arms as if she weighed nothing. She rubbed a hand up his muscled arm, smiling softly. He was stronger than he looked. It made her laugh.

She enjoyed the feeling of the night air blowing against her feet, so she swung them back and forth feeling the air sweep against the bottoms. Where had her shoes gone? She didn’t remember taking them off. She must have gotten rid of them because of the blisters they had been giving her while she was dancing with her friends.

She couldn’t quite make out Dax’s face, her vision going fuzzy around the corners. Giggling, she blinked a few times and reached up and poked him to be sure that he was actually there. His only reply was a grunt. She was momentarily confused.

“Where are we going?” she asked, continuing to sway her feet. His lack of reply concerned her. The friendly nature seemed to be gone from him, and he only looked straight ahead continuing to move through the trees. The light of the party grew faint in the distance.

She squirmed in his arms, nervously. “I can walk Dax. You can put me down now,” she said. Or at least tried to - her words weren’t quite coming out the proper way anymore. And her vision was growing even more blurry. Fear began to creep its way up her throat, and she stopped kicking her legs.

“Shut up,” he hissed at her. The giddy happiness was fading from her now, replaced by a solid lump of dread in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t see much anymore, and her whole body felt tired – as if she had just run a marathon. She tried to thrash in his arms but she couldn’t move, it was as if all the energy that she had previously had drained from her completely.

“Dax…” she attempted, but it was barely audible. She lolled her head to the side in an attempt to gather her baring’s.

Suddenly they entered a clearing and she could make out a new man’s voice. Dax tossed her onto the ground where she landed on her knees. She made a weak attempt at lifting herself to stand, but her body ached and she collapsed back down.

“No.” Clarke whispered. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was saying no to, but she repeated it. Again and again, quietly to herself.

“Good job Dax,” she heard the new voice say, “the bitch deserves this.”

She could taste bile in her mouth. What had she even done? She was new to Ark… What had she done to deserve this? She trembled as she curled in on herself, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her head on them. Her body felt as though it was draining itself of its own energy. Her senses waning. Darkness creeping into her mind, pulling her toward it. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing for the men to leave. For the nightmare to end.

A hand ripped at her hair and her head was yanked back, forcing her to look in the face of the new man. She was only able to make out a vaguely familiar face – though she was unsure where she knew him from. The haze over her mind caused her head to loll against the man’s hand. She was losing her bearings and she had to fight to keep her eyes open.

“She’s a pretty one, you have to admit,” she could hear the deep voice rumble, “Too bad we have to teach her the consequences of involving herself in things she doesn’t understand.”

A cluck, “Maybe we can have our fun with her when she’s passed out,” she heard Dax reply with a dry laugh. Her stomach lurched, but nothing came up.

“You slipped her the sedative?” came the rumbling reply.

“Yes.”

She was thrown to her side suddenly, her aching body unable to catch herself as she collapsed against the dirt. She whimpered as she felt a pressure on her back, a body pressed flush against her.

“No!” she managed weakly.

How could this be happening again?

She was trapped, the body on top of her feeling like a million tons. The skirts of her dress twisted and ripped around her legs tying her down, unable to move. She couldn’t think straight. She couldn’t see. She could hardly feel. Her breath began to slow, and she knew she was fading. Being swallowed by the darkness. Every part of her willed her to give in and fall under. Deep under. Her mind was pulling her down, down, down.

And just as she felt herself give in… there was a shout. The release of the body weight from her back. The sound of flesh hitting flesh. And then there was nothing.

+++

She awoke briefly, vaguely aware of her presence in the back seat of a truck that she was unfamiliar with. She was leaned against the car door, wrapped in something warm. In the window across from her, she could see the night sky zooming past. There was the faint sound of music, and two voices whispering to each other quietly.

“It’s all my fault,” a familiar female voice said miserably.

“Don’t say that. It is not,” a deep male voice replied, “If anybody’s, it’s mine.”

Clarke attempted to lift herself up, but failed, too weak to even move.

“We can’t take her to her house, Bell,” said the female voice.

“Then where are we supposed to take her?”

“She has to come back with us.”

“She can’t,” The male voice growled.

“Yes,” the female voice hissed back, “she can.”

“But Jaqueline –“

“Jackie doesn’t give a shit what we do and you know it.”

A sigh, “Fine! Fine.”

There’s a rustling and Clarke feels the warmth adjust around her. Her consciousness flickered, threatening to pull her back into to sleep.

“I can’t believe he’d would do something like this.”

“He’s desperate, O.”

“I’m just glad I saw Dax head towards the woods with her.”

There was a long pause, and then, “Me too.”

It quieted between them, the soft music tinkling through the car. Clarke’s lids grew heavy again, and the world around her faded once more.