#one Certified Fool right here

[curryshesus]

bts fics that give me life in a drought

(aka my favorite fics of all time) pt. 2

didn't expect to make a part 2 so soon but seeing how much recognition the first one got, here we are! some of these contain a hearty amount of angst, and oh they're just simply divine :( once again, please make sure to show your love and support to these lovely authors if you enjoyed any of these reads as much as i did!

➺ knife’s edge - by @readyplayerhobi

| jungkook x reader, jimin x reader | 141.8k

mafia au, fluff, angst, smut, violence, series

>> summary: "the jeon clan is family, built on blood and loyalty. it’s been an unspoken fact that one day you will marry the heir to the clan, jeon jungkook. you would be a fool to deny that you love him, but what happens when you meet a blue haired man who offers you a chance at normality?"

this fic absolutely BROKE ME. i was so conflicted all throughout and deadass went through all the 50 stages of grief. the angst was unparalleled. the fluff had me giggling like a madman cuz jk is an absolute sweetheart :( jimin is too :(( y/n is dumb and so is her situation :((( i cherish this fic sm

➺ novocaine - by @kinktae

| jimin x reader |

1990s au, exes au, angst, eventual smut, series

>> summary: "going home was hard – painful even. but falling back in love with jimin, the boy you left behind? downright gut-wrenching."

➺ ghostin him- by @adonis-koo

| namjoon x reader (taehyung x reader) | 26k

angst, angst, as well as angst. comfort too dw, one-shot

>> summary: "life is nothing more than dull colors for you, your world shattered and laying in the shards of what once was rather than focusing on what is. that is until you meet kim namjoon, who is immediately taken by you without realizing you’re a girl with a whole lot of baggage, through tears and many sleepless nights you’re faced with a choice of hanging on with bleeding hands, or accepting what is, and letting go."

ohmygod the writing hello? the amount of soul, depth, and sheer utter beauty in missy's words are beyond me. had me sobbing every other line and my heart aching all throughout and boy was it worth it.

➺ take five - by @jiminrings

| yoongi x reader | 10k

angst, fluff, unrequited love, pinning

summary: "dr. min yoongi's a board-certified dermatologist; skilled, renowned, and in-demand - oh and also, he's divorced."

➺ page turner - by @gukslut

| taehyung x reader | 13.6k

teacher!tae/ librarian!reader, fluff, smut, minor angst

summary: "corny romance and a zillion cheesy Romeo and Juliet quotes and references."

my tainted hopeless romantic heart ugh. they're so cute.

➺ bloom- by @hobidreams

| namjoon x reader | 20.7k

assassin!reader x florist!namjoon, smut, angst, action, sprinkles of fluff

>> summary: "family is who you kill for. who you die for. in this society, you and your kin are shadows, clinging to the darkness to obey orders absolute. but when such orders command you to abandon what little honor remains for wealth and notoriety, you find yourself lost in lonely uncertainty about the only vocation you’ve ever known. that is, until you meet a man with gentle hands, a poet’s heart, and a love for coaxing the world into bloom."

➺ counterfeit culture - by @ggukcangetit

| seokjin x reader | 29k

modern day au loosely based on jane austen’s pride & prejudice, e2l, fluff, smut, comedy

>>summary: “for as long as you can remember, you’ve always known right from wrong, good from bad, and woke from entitled/ignorant. but when you continue to cross paths with Kim Seokjin - the apparent antithesis of everything you believe in - certain walls begin to crumble. and over time, you come to realise that the world isn’t black and white, first impressions can be misleading, and that you are just as guilty as each person you’ve judged so harshly. realisation brings acceptance, and maybe, just maybe, acceptance can bring something more.”

➺ if i told you - by @gukyi

| jungkook x reader | 22k

friends to lovers!au, college!au, fluff, comedy, angst

>> summary: "in order to pay for university, jeon jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. all while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him."

➺ to hold a dragon's heart - by @softlyjiminie

| taehyung x reader | 19.1k

dragon prince!kim taehyung x warrior princess!reader, smut, angst, fluff, forbidden romance, dragon shifter!au, royalty!au, enemies to lovers!au

>> summary: "two kingdoms, two hearts and the world between them. your whole life has been a challenge, never an easy moment on your road to becoming queen but will one decision, one encounter with the man you were destined to hate, change the fate of your worlds, forever?"

[queers-gambit]

Lost and Found

prompt: ( requested ) you're just friends, but on your first night at Saltburn, you get lost in the vast halls and accidentally walk in on lover boy after a bath. he wants you to stay.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 3.6k+

note: this SHOULD'VE gotten slutty, but it DIDN'T because i'm back in the hospital and the LAST thing i need is a nurse walking in on me writing fucking smut - oh, my God, can you imagine? new fear unlocked!

warnings: RIP Queen Lizzie, cursing, sexual tension, emotions are hard, Lord's name in vain, depiction of mental illness (anxiety), author throws in a little personal detail cause writing is therapy.

"Honestly, who lives in a place like this? The bloody Queen, that's who. Her and all her fucking rooms! Jesus!" You grumbled, dipping down another winding hallway. "All right, this looks familiar, that's... Encouraging, right?" You frowned, glass of water in hand after venturing to the kitchen to fetch it - but now, you couldn't navigate your way back to your room. "Of course," you growled quietly, opening a door and finding a linen closet.

How silly, in a place like this! A fucking linen closet!

You huffed and shut the door, feeling incredibly awkward and terribly misplaced. You mind screamed that didn't belong here, you never should've set foot in a place like this! How fucking foolish you felt, like a silly little girl who was just excited her crush spoke to her, let alone invited you home with him for the summer holiday.

But it was Felix fucking Catton - certified enigma. He was all man with a boyish charm who smiled at you on move-in day at Oxford and sealed your fate. He was ridiculously nice, so very sweet, borderline annoying with his giving nature and kindness. He was loyal to a fault, intuitive, observant, admirably carefree, and so very happy to give his love to anyone who needed it. For a few weeks, you felt almost offended by his attention, wondering what kind of broken soul he thought you were; knowing he had an affinity for "damaged" or "broken" things.

At least, that's what his cousin, Oxford's registered and certified catty bitch, Farleigh Start, teased you about relentlessly when he noted the way Felix hung around you. Felix invited you out with friends, offered to study together, walked you to and from classes - even if his were in the literal opposite direction. You had no honest idea how the two were related, given Farleigh's constant attitude and Felix's overwhelming kindness, but that wasn't for you to understand. You just relished the attention Felix bestowed in-between your skepticism.

And here you are, your first night in his home, Saltburn, completely lost and totally turned-around! You didn't need water all that bad, did you? Granted, you had a several tablets to take that evening to maintain your health, but you could've used the fucking sink in the adjoining bathroom! You grew frustrated the more doors you opened, finding empty rooms or closets or another fucking library or studies or whatever! As if this home wasn't big enough, there were multiple levels and all you knew was that you and Felix were both located on the same floor with his parents above you and his sister and Farleigh beneath.

So, that helped.

But you still felt so fucking silly.

Seriously, who got LOST in someone else's home!? Fools, that's who!

Okay, okay, okay, you didn't need to be so hard on yourself, but you grew nervous and fearful for a reason you didn't understand. Your anxiety was planted in your stomach, festering, growing, taking over you to the point that you had tears in your eyes when you found yet ANOTHER fucking study!

"Oh, even the bloody fucking Queen doesn't have this many useless rooms, and she's a much bigger family, Jesus fucking Christ," you sneered to yourself - ready to give up and just sleep in one of the empty rooms. But you didn't want Duncan finding you in the morning, asking questions, forcing you to admit you were lost - you felt humiliated enough as it was! And that was without anyone witnessing this absolute mess you had made!

Well, not technically a mess - but you felt like a mess the more you crept around. And now, you felt fucking creepy - like some stalker, sneaking around the halls, trying to spy on this very nice family. You knew you weren't, but the feeling was still there - fucking anxiety would honestly be the death of you.

However, you came upon a familiar (enough) door that had a gentle light emitting from under it. With a sigh of relief, you suddenly remembered leaving a light on for yourself to return to; reaching for the doorknob, twisting it, and darting into the room while swiftly swinging the door close - but halting it to shut quietly as to not disturb anyone in the empty halls.

Yeah, anxiety was a bitch.

"Ohh-ho, evenin', love," a voice greeted, making you gasp, jump, and twist around. "Miss me that much? Heard the drain on the tub, didn't yah, had to come sneak a peek?"

Felix fucking Catton stood at the end of a messy bed in all his glory, running a towel through his wet curls. Nothing obscuring your sight, nothing hiding his manhood, nothing - literally nothing on his body except a shit-eating grin.

"Jesus, Fi! Fuck, I-I-I'm so - um," you gulped, trying not to ogle him, but failing (miserably) when beads of water rolled between the contours of his impossibly impressively sculpted muscles. "I just - you know, this place is so bloody big - um, I'm sorry - I just... Yeah..."

He smirked, nodding sarcastically, "Uh-huh. And you just happened to stumble into my room? Pretty good timing, too, wasn't it?"

You squeaked, "I didn't mean to! I swear - Felix, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to, um, yeah, you know - uh..."

"Like what you see, sweetheart? Why don't you come in closer, get a better look?"

You adverted your eyes out of respect and fumbled messily for the door handle. "Oh, sweet Jesus. Bloody house is just too bloody big, I got all turned around - just needed some water and I just - fuck, I'm sorry - "

"Hey, hey," Felix chuckled, wrapping his towel loosely around his hips so his V-line was still on raunchy display, "I'm only teasin', love. I know this place can get confusin' t'newcomers. I actually meant to grab you some water, know you gotta take your tablets."

You swallowed your embarrassment, sighing, "I'll just - yeah - no - I'll, um, just go - I'm so sorry, again."

"You know where you're goin' all of a sudden?"

You faced the door, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, shaking your head gently, "Well, no, but I'll figure it out - I left a, um, I left a light on, you know, to help - I don't know - uh, guide me?"

"You've not stuttered this much since we first met," he laughed, tugging a pair of boxers on for your sanity (and to your dismay). "I'm dressed, doll, you can look at me now. C'mon, bit weird talkin' to your back."

"We're not talking, Felix, I'm going to bed."

"Then why haven't you left yet?"

You blinked at the intricately carved door, realizing your hand was still on the knob, but it hadn't turned. "I didn't want to be so rude as to just walk out, mid-sentence!"

"Hey, hey, you're all right, darlin', I'm only teasin'," he grinned, hearing his bare feet pad over the ground before his warm hand wrapped around your elbow. "C'mon, love, hang with me a bit - 's not that late, is it?"

"Oh, so, Duncan can walk in? Make his assumptions?" You whispered, slowly facing him and leaning back on the door with a pout. His big, brown, doe-eyes stared directly into yours, making you feel under his spotlight - something akin to a privilege, since Felix Catton didn't bestow his attention on everyone. "I just needed water, I didn't mean t'get, you know, lost like this. Seriously, this place looks totally different at night."

"Surprised you even got this far, huh?"

"I looked in any room with an open door," you admitted with a small wince. "I felt so creepy, but I was all turned around - and you know, you shouldn't leave other lights on in rooms not being used. Terrible waste of energy."

"Awh, my sweet, environmentally-conscious girl," he cooed, hand raising to gently pinch your jaw. There was a serene moment, the pair of you just staring at one another, becoming acutely aware that he was still practically naked. "C'mon, don't leave yet, we can play cards if you like?"

"I've medicine t'take - "

"Right, right, right," he nodded, letting his hand drift to hold your neck in a gentle grasp. "Tell you what, you stay here, I'll grab your meds, and bring them back? You keep 'em in that li'l pink bag, yeah?"

"I don't know how to feel that you know which is my med bag," you narrowed your eyes playfully.

"Just shows I pay attention, don't it?"

"Maybe shows we spend too much time together?"

He kissed his teeth, grinning at you, "There's no such thing - in fact! I reckon we could double our time together and it still wouldn't feel like enough."

"Well, how's that help me later? I still don't know where my room is - oh, don't laugh!" You groaned, Felix snickering louder. "Fi, c'mon, it's not funny - this place is huge! Like, illegally huge!"

He cooed, "Oh, doll, 'M not laughing at you, promise. Just... You're not the first person t'get lost here, yeah?"

You scoffed with severe discomfort, "I really don't want t'hear 'bout all the other girls you've brought home - "

"Hey, now," he cut you off swiftly, "don't do that." He shrugged meekly, "There's been no others, just friends. Mine, Farleigh's, Venetia's... They've all gotten lost once or twice... Or that time we had to actually draw Reggie a map, poor lad got lost around every bend."

You rolled your eyes, "Truly expect me to believe that, do you?" Then you let your eyes widen a fraction, teasing, "Oh, wow, you really believe it! You really believe you haven't brought home other girls who you're interested in or who are into you?"

He crowded you into the door, shifting the room's energy to something sultry, making you hold your breath as his hand slid into your hair. "You know you're the only one, right?"

"You know that's absolute bullshite, right? Like, what a fucking line!"

He tisked, "C'mon, doll."

"Be honest, Felix."

His head cocked, "Want the truth?"

"That'd be a nice change of pace."

He scoffed lightly, "I don't give a single fuck if any of our previous guests cared for me - only you. Hear me?" He took the last step so he was stood with his feet slotted between yours. "I didn't bring them here for any other reason than friendly entertainment. You've seen the place, as big as it is, can get a bit lonely without anyone to hang with. But I asked you here... For different reasons..." He whispered, eyes jutting down to your lips as he kept a firm hold on you.

"And what reasons are those, Fi?"

He smirked, "Obviously... To kick your arse at cards."

You were flooded with pure disappointment. Raw, unfiltered disappointment that deflated your shoulders. "Yeah, right, like that would ever happen," you covered, nudging him a single step away from you. "Wanna be a gentleman and direct me to my room now?"

"Nope," he grinned, snatching your hand and yanking you away from the door. "You're gonna sit your pretty self right here," he nudged you to the edge of his bed, turning for his desk, then turning back to you to slap a deck of cards to your hand, "you're gonna shuffle these, and mentally prepare to get your arse handed to you at your own game."

You chuckled slightly, "Thought you hated 51 Rummy?"

"Only when sober," he smirked, leaning down to peck your forehead sweetly. "Sit tight, doll, I'll be a moment, yeah?"

You sighed and watched him exit the room, reaching to set your glass of water down and observe the room. In a moment of weakness, you pet over his sheets as if tempted to snuggle into them - and you were! You were cold from the lack of robe you meant to shrug on, and wondering the halls of Saltburn took much longer than you anticipated - now wanting to dive into the warmth you knew was left, the same warmth that Felix left on everything.

You jumped when the door opened again, Felix slipping inside with your little pink bag. His brows pinched, "All right, love?"

"Hmm? Yeah - "

"Your feet are nearly blue," he shook his head, handing you your bag before turning for his wardrobe. "Socks or sweats?"

"Huh?"

He turned, holding up a pair of sweatpants and socks, repeating, "Socks or sweats? Figured you're a bit cold in that." The left side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, eyeing you in your sleep shorts and loose teeshirt that had the collar ripped out, showing a hint of cleavage.

"Oh, uh, socks, please."

He tossed you the socks, dropped the sweats, and joined you on the bed as you pulled the oversized garment onto your feet. "C'mere, get close, get comfortable," he chuckled, pushing his blankets down to sit in the sheets, waiting until you turned in the bed to yank the blankets up over both your legs. "Didn't shuffle? My naughty girl," he joked, reaching for the deck of cards and opening it. He offered a much softer smile, eyes darting to your medicine bag, and then focusing on the cards - as if to give you privacy to take your meds.

You did so quickly, insecure about the rattling bottles and the amount of tablets in your cupped hand, but never once had Felix made you feel bad about your needs. After swallowing them, you cleared your throat and turned to face Felix as he divided the cards for the game, nodding to his side table, "Paper's over there, doll, for the score."

"Sure you want me to keep score?" You asked softly, reaching for the pad of paper and spare pen. "Last time we played, you lost so very miserably, I was embarrassed for you. We can save your pride a li'l, not keep score."

"It's only polite to let the pretty lady win."

"Oh, tryin' to butter me up, are you?"

"Is it working?"

"I'll let you know."

Felix chuckled, leaning back to the headboard. Then, he asked softly, "You feelin' all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, all good."

"Sure?"

"Why?"

"Hands are shakin' a bit."

You eyed him for a moment, changing the subject by asking, "How're you not freezing? Seriously, 's like the floors are air conditioned."

"Nah, just not cold."

"Your nipples say otherwise."

"Lookin' at my nipples, are you?" He grinned. "Now you're a very naughty girl, knew you didn't stumble into my room on accident!"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself!" You pushed his shoulder, but he leaned closer. "Felix - "

"You could just stay here," he offered softly.

"You got me for a game - "

"No, I mean, uh..." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head and readjusting so he was supported on one elbow, facing you. "Nah, nevermind, all right, so, back to the game - "

"No, wait, say what you're thinking," you encouraged softly. "Know I hate you doin' that."

"Yeah, you get all anxious," he nodded. "I don't want t'be too forward, all right? But... You know, we sleep together at Oxford. I-In the dorms, you know?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Just thought, maybe you'd wanna stay here? With me? If you want, won't make yah, sweetheart, just thought... You know, in a house this big, you wouldn't get so lost stayin' here... Maybe?"

"Oh, aren't you my hero?"

"I know, I know, I'm just tryna look out for you, my li'l lost love. And, you know, prevent you from finding our secret dungeon," he gasped comically.

"That's not even a joke 'cause I'd believe it in a place like this. Is it a dungeon for torture or sex?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Maybe I'd like to see it. Hm," you considered, "maybe I should stay here, you know - so you can show me around and go get me water when I need it. Save my toes from freezing off, wonderin' 'round here."

He grinned, "Yeah?"

"If it's not too scandalous?"

"'S not like anyone would care... Except me, you know? I'd... I'd like you to stay here. Like havin' you close, sweetheart."

"Well, maybe you could put some clothes on? You're terribly fucking distracting! I'm here to win a card game, and I'll be damned if you win 'cause your abs are... You know, staring right at me, you cheater," you grinned, turning to face him fully with your legs crossed, the space in the sheets open for your cards.

"I think you like me naked," he grinned. "I mean, you stared long enough."

"I was just caught off guard!"

"Oh, I'm sure," his grin turned wicked. "You're still staring, doll."

"Well, it's not as if you're quick to cover yourself!"

"You're not too quick t'look away, either!"

"I was - "

"Caught off guard, yeah, you've said," he chuckled, staring at you with those moony brown eyes that made you feel as if you were the only girl he's ever seen. "Maybe I liked you lookin'."

"Is that so?"

He nodded slightly, "Yeah, not such a bad thing. You're kinda the only one I want lookin' at me like that, anyway."

"You absolute cheesehead!" Your laughter was quiet, trying not to tip Duncan off to your antics.

"You know, they're not just for lookin'," he perked his pierced brow at you. "Feel free to touch whenever you want, too."

"Hm, always knew you were a slut."

He gasped dramatically. "Is that anyway to talk to your host? Especially after giving you refuge from the big, scary, confusing halls?" Your eyes rolled and reached out to pushed his forehead, making him rock back into the pillows and headboard - but he was quick to snatch your wrist as he fell. You were yanked across the slim space, pulled so you were directly resting onto his chest; forearms bracing against his pectorals. He grinned, caressing the back of your head, teasing, "'Ello, love."

"You're a fucking fiend."

"And you're so fucking beautiful."

"I'm already stayin' here, Fi, you don't have to lay it on so thick."

He hummed, "You know... If you were mine, you'd get this treatment all the time. I can't stop - you're just so easy to compliment."

Feeling bold, perhaps from being so close and him being nearly naked, you whispered, "Then maybe you should stop shuffling your feet, grow a pair, and ask me already."

He paused, the moment turning soft as you relax against his body; stretched out the length of him, but still remaining propped on his chest to look down at his sweet face.

"Was a bit afraid to, actually, love."

"Why?"

"Haven't felt like this with anyone," he admitted, "'s just so fuckin' easy with you. Organic, authentic, safe... I was afraid to ruin that, destroy the rapport and friendship we've established. I care about you so much, I just wanted you in my life - no matter what variation that was. Being just my friend, being my girl, just want you with me. Didn't want to jeopardize anything."

"Hm," you considered, nodding slowly, "I get that. Think I felt something similar..."

"So, what do we do?"

"I think we be adults about this," you offered. "If you just want to be friends, we'll stay friends, Fi, but we don't blur lines like we have been. And if you want to give this - us - a try, I think we could. 'Cause you're you, and I'm me, and if things don't work out, we can just go back. Right? Adults do that sorta thing, don't they?"

"Not entirely sure, don't feel like an adult most days," he breathed, petting his fingertips down your cheek. "But I know I want this, with you. I swear, since you came into my life, I've felt - " He paused, shaking his head with a growing smile, "Free? Elated? Light as air?"

"Mhm, I know the feeling," you repeated.

"We doin' this?"

"That's up to you."

"I think it's up to us, actually - "

"I mean, you've gotta ask, Fi, not just assume."

"If you reject me in my own house, in my own bed, doll, I'm gonna be fucking crushed!"

"Oh, my God, just ask me! You fucking knobhead!" You laughed, leaning your head on his chest. His other arm moved behind his head to keep it propped up, looking at you with so much adoration, it knotted your stomach. The hand that had been in your hair drifted down to keep a secure hold on your waist; fingers scratching in soothing motions.

"Wanna be my girl?"

"Hmm, I think you could phrase it better."

He grinned brightly, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh, that's a little too formal. Maybe try - "

"Oh, c'mere, you," he growled, swiftly using both arms to seize under your arms and literally drag you up his body. "C'mon, baby," he whispered, lips ghosting yours, "be my baby."

"Fuck, no, that's way too cheesy!"

"I thought you liked me cheesy?" He gaped, your hand petting his cheek now; shoulders straining to keep you upright, over him.

"Correction, I love you cheesy," you whispered, lowering your head to press a quick kiss to his lips. He hummed in relief, but you pulled back to promise, "I'd love to be your girl, Fi. Only took you the whole bloody school year, didn't it?"

"Hey, good things to those who wait, right?"

"Don't quote Professor Mercy at me when we're in bed with barely anything on, Jesus fucking Christ," you grumbled, unable to restrain your grin when he pulled you in for another kiss - but this time, stealing the breath right out of your lungs.

Maybe getting lost in Saltburn was more beneficial than you originally thought, and maybe Professor Mercy and ages of philosophy was right because this felt like the absolute best thing, and you'd wait a hundred lifetimes if it meant having Felix in your arms - like he was now, kissing you like it was his lifeline.

How extraordinarily warm, you felt, to be lost in this world, in this extraordinary home, and found, by Felix fucking Catton.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

[bitchimasnake-sss]

the monster trio (but make it highschool!au);

basically, what if these mf weren't illiterate?? highschool!au headcanons for the monster trio!!

luffy:

- the class comedian (and doesn't know it) - like this man is out here just going about his day, doing stupid shit. he doesn't know why the class is laughing when the teacher asks him what he's doing and he says "eating. want some?" through a mouthful of doritos and a shit-eating grin - everyday, atleast once, he gets sent to the principle (the principle is garp lmao) and garp sends luffy back to the teacher because even he doesn't wanna deal with this precious himbo

- he runs track (and he is actually so good at it) - he's that one kid that has adhd and the whole school knows but he doesnt "adhd? what's that?" "you, luffy, that's you" - his homework? never complete; his handwriting? so shit it feels like ants crawling on paper; his uniform? something has to be missing always whether it's a button on his shirt, tie, belt, something. - one time he pulled up with one sock missing and when asked, he shrugged and said "sometimes things happen" - why did he say it like that??? - somehow, despite it all, he manages to pass (nami tutored him forcefully and made him pay her later) - best friends with the martial artist!zoro and cooking prodigy!sanji - nobody knows how these three are friends??? but they are ig - also, i headcannon him as the guy who is like 4 feet and after one summer comes back stretched out (hehe, pun intended) - always so kind to others even if he doesn't know them, always willing to help freshmen out and run errands for you if you need help - nobody knew he is related to his older brothers (ace, sabo) "how are you their brother??" "idk? how am i??" - just the bestest boy ever, golden retriever energy all day every day no matter what universe it is

zoro:

- you take one look at this mf and you think, ah here is the classic delinquent, stick-up-his-ass martial artist and you couldnt be more wrong - he is never dressed right but that's cause he doesn't know how to tie a tie and listen if he had the willpower to find the right socks at 7 in the morning, he will - he is just an incompetent fool, trust me 😭😭 - gets late on the regular cause he always takes the wrong turn - the one "jock" who isn't anything like a stereotypical jock? like he hangs out with soon-to-be valedictorian nami, idiot luffy, theatre kid!ussop and cook!sanji - nobody can understand how this friend group was formed??? - actually gets asked out a decent amount of times and always says "nah, im good" and walks away to his friends - people are starting to suspect if he's dating luffy from how hard their bromance is going "zolo!!! gooDMORNING!!" luffy yells as he launches onto zoro in the middle of the hallway at 8:03 am on a random tuesday zoro casually drops his backpack to catch luffy "morning" zoro replies as if it's casual behaviour - the amount of trophies the school has in his name is insane (nation level martial artist, roronoa zoro) - he is actually decent at school, he is just average and he's fine by it he doesn't give all that much of a shit in the academic sphere - casually pulls up to the parents-teacher meet with thE FUCKING WORLD REKNOWNED MARTIAL ARTIST, DRACULE MIHAWK??? "i see he passed in all his exams. how wonderful, zoro. let's leave now." "aight" - he doesn't even think twice when asked if he knows mihawk, he's just like "yeah that's my dad what about him?" - a certified dumbass in every universe

sanji:

- listen to me this mf went to masterchef junior and fucking won and people only know this cause the school hyped him up and not because he wanted people to know "omg sanji did you actually win-" "no that was my twin brother sanjo, please leave me alone" - actually prim and properly dressed, shows up at time everyday and gives in all of his assignments and submissions well before the due date (he is partially responsible for keeping zoro and luffy on track) - he was the one making cupcakes when nami was organizing a fundraiser for a nearby orphanage, he was the one who baked cookies cause sabo wanted to hand them out on his last day of school, he was the one who baked cakes for his classmate's surprise birthday party - rumor has it if you get on good terms with sanji, a mysterious box of homemade chocolate will be there in your locker the next day - despite all the hype he has, mf still gets no girls - like luffy, he is insanely kind to those who need help - has gotten almost suspended once for beating up a senior year kid for bullying a freshmen (luffy and zoro just stood by and laughed as that kid got his ass handed to him) - he is the son of THE FUCKING OWNER OF BARATIE, A FIVE STAR MICHELLIN RESTAURANT THAT IS FREQUENTED BY CELEBRITIES ALL THE TIME "omg omg sanji is it true that the rock visited your restaurant last night?!" "yeah, his daughter wanted to eat my tiramisu, she's really sweet" - so chill always (but simultaneously losing his shit) - the kinda person you'd love hanging out with - as i said, in any universe, he is still single (feed him the rizz rizz fruit pls)

a/n: tried something new tell me do you like it or love it?

[kindledrose]

more of these guys :] (part 1) (part 2)

classpect thoughts under cut! yippee

these absolute fools gave me SO much trouble. i changed each of their classes and/or aspects like twice while drawing this lmao.

pearle was going to be a rage player initially! i had her down as one for the chaos — yknow, ‘red’s my favorite color’ and all that. but the catch ended up being that in this au, as rage represents in-game chaos and bloodlust, it only exists while the game is in effect, and so rage players don’t have much dominion over stuff that happens after that period ends (which has all sorts of delightful implications for grienn’s character, but anyways). meanwhile pearle definitely continues playing and also grows as a character even in times of peace. i was thinking in terms of comparing her arc in double life to secret life in particular — ‘she left the tower’ and all that, yknow? she went from being terribly isolated and functioning on a completely independent scale, winning only for herself, to being a key member of a team and finding a purpose in helping them. which is pretty incredibly space-coded, in my mind! my personal qualification for space players is that they’re destined to be lonely, often physically separated in some way from others, for a while but not forever — because space is about creation, after all. and if you look at being a witch from the perspective of reinvention — what pearle manipulated or reinvented here was herself. she found her place in the story and the person she wanted to be. witches are also some of the most powerful characters in terms of specifically manipulating their aspect, i think, which is great because i’ve heard she's pretty great at pvp lol

ignore that martyn’s color palette is not particularly great it’s hard to unify the design of a character who is super rustblood-coded but also inextricably linked to the colors green and yellow of all things. i’ll redesign him later. anyways! at first i had thought there might not be any light players in this session — since light is about sort of seeing through the laws of the game and often deliberately defying them, as well as having a certain degree of control over narrative agency due to this. and because, yknow, the life series is a minecraft youtube roleplay series, realistically the ccs aren’t going to be playing any characters that go out of their way to completely ruin the game or refuse to play it by the rules altogether. but then i started thinking — and i don’t know an awful lot about martyn’s character so forgive me if i’m going a little bit off the rails here — does martyn want to understand? because if he as a character tries to understand and affect his destiny even though he’s ultimately limited by the nature of the story itself, then he could totally be a light player. so that’s where i was coming from here. think about how he won limited life in the end, for instance — not by playing into what the game itself had been leading up to, but by acting on and finishing his own story. he’s a knight because i do think knights are a certified Narrative’s Little Guy class — they persevere through so much pressure and often also have that sort of dual persona thing, both of which are particularly endearing to an audience. it’s hard work, keeping up with the narrative and fulfilling his own quest for understanding while he’s at it!! but he does it!!

renn is Such a blood player guys he is such a blood player ohhh my goodness. playing the game in terms of your relationships with others, right? basing how you go about it on allies and interactions, and being a leader above all else? i’d say that’s pretty ren the dog coded tbh. i don’t have too much to say here because i think seer of blood renn is pretty self-explanatory — he sees the entire game as a game of relationships and ties. he has a lot of knowledge about this field specifically, and shares it with his allies in the way he helps direct them and keep them alive. the reason he’s blood instead of light is because he puts his allies over knowledge, i think — he’s far too busy dealing with all that stuff to speculate for too long what the purpose of it all might be, and that would detract from his goal (of winning alongside others or dying nobly), anyway.

again questions abt them are open forever always :3

[wisteria-prompts]

HI HI HI IF U DONT MIND CAN U DO HANTENGU CLONES HAVING A TINY LOVER WHO BODY KINDA LIKE SHINOBU AND THEY FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT NSFW OR SFW IS FINE

Mm yes, I need some bread, cause this is my jam.

Hantengu Clones x Smol Gn!Reader

SFW:

Sekido

The definition of cuteness aggression.

Legit he just wants to hold you so tightly sometimes, but knows he’ll break your bones if he does it as hard as he wants, so he settles for a slight squeeze when you insist on one of your hugs. It’s nowhere near satisfying, but it’ll do.

He really tries not to let it show how enamored he is with you and your tiny self due to his ego, but that changes a little bit once he’s made aware of your insecurities with it.

Of course he gets irritated when you admit it’s something you’re self-conscious about- It’s preposterous that you feel he’d think any less of you for it! Stop that right now! 

He goes off on a tangent about size not indicating power or worth, and that you should “shut up” about feeling lesser because of it, because you wouldn’t be his S/O if you weren’t worthy.

It would be a very touching speech if he didn’t say it with all that vitriol…

Sekido, out of all the ways to give affection, finds it easiest to give attention to your hands, which are so, so small compared to his own. One of his own can completely envelope both of yours, and with how often he initiates hand holding now, you’d be a fool not to notice his infatuation with the difference.

It just gives him a fuzzy feeling in his chest when he looks down and sees that his hands are hiding your own within them, and that you trust him with your small self in totality. The intimacy gets to this man, but you’ll be pressed to find any hints of that.

Don’t call him out on it even if you do notice, he WILL let go immediately and storm off, angrily mumbling to himself that no, you are NOT cute! (Even though you never said anything about that…)

Out of all the clones, his enjoyment of your smolness is about 7/10.

Karaku

Certified Tiny S/O Lover.

He doesn’t so much as get cuteness aggression, but he certainly has a LOT of impulses to squish you and hold you tight when he gets to thinking about how small you are compared to him.

He actually has a preference for an S/O who’s smaller than him, but it’s not a dealbreaker by any means.

He’s got a lot of love to give, and by god will he give it. Comparing hands, hugs that hide you from the world, leaning down dramatically low just to kiss you, using your head as a shoulder rest- It’s safe to say that as much as there’s genuine and sincere enjoyment in it, he also loves teasing the hell out of you too.

He just. Does a LOT. It’s almost overwhelming at times with how much he expresses his love for your tiny figure, but he also just wants to dispel those pesky insecure thoughts about it.

Almost acts offended when you admit it’s a sore spot. He makes it his personal mission from then on to get you to love your body as much as he does, and he goes at it much more insistently than Urogi does. Which is quite the accomplishment…

His favorite thing to do is hold you, in any way he can. Hugs are fine, but having you perched on his arm or shoulder is a new level of pleasure he had yet to attain until he met you. Will insist on carrying you like that from then on, even if it’s just around the house. 

You weigh less than a cup of tea to him, so he will never tire of holding you. Do not test that resolve, you will lose.

Enjoyment of Smolness: 9/10

Urogi

Wouldn’t really point it out or act differently in regards to your size.

Don’t get him wrong, he really does love everything about you! It’s just that he doesn’t mind your body no matter what size it comes in- He’s just here to love on you with all he’s got.

Although, he HAS noted how much easier it is to wrap you up with his entire body like this…The impulsive thoughts he gets to just envelope you completely and totally with his wings often win, and there’s nothing you or him can do about it.

The joy he gets from seeing little ol you sitting in one of his nests is unreal. He makes you a personal one, just for you! (It doesn’t last long because he keeps trying to sit in it with you and 100% does not fit-)

Is genuinely confused when you admit you’re self conscious about your tininess. What do you MEAN you don’t like it? He does!! Isn’t that what matters?

Will love on you all the more after that, because while he doesn’t have a preference for body type, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the one you got, and he wants you to enjoy it just as much as he does.

Small note- He likes how big his feathers are when you hold them in your hands. He often gives you a plucked one to keep, and gets huffy if you don’t hold it for a while.

Enjoyment of Smolness: 5/10

Aizetsu

You wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but he gets a certain amount of calmness and contentment when he takes in your size.

You’re just so…Small. He can’t help but immediately feel protective whenever you come into view, no matter how many times he’s seen you. He’s always placing a protective and guiding hand on you when possible- On the small of your back when walking somewhere, on the back of your head when embracing, or simply your own hand while basking in each other's presence.

He’s a little obsessed with the way his hand covers a lot of surface area on you.

That’s what makes up most of his enjoyment, it’s just all feelings of wanting to keep you safe and sound, and most importantly, his.

He’s so afraid of losing you, and the size difference just makes it hit home harder. The thought of little ol you being lost in a crowd, or hidden among larger things in general has his chest clenching tight, and he needs to seek you out immediately.

In contrast, the feeling of being the one hiding you is incomparable to anything else he’s ever felt. He dared to say it felt like…Joy.

Can, will, and has cried while comparing hands. He only cries harder when you wipe his tears away, they’re so small on his cheeks, oh no he’s crying more-

Enjoyment of Smolness: 7/10

NSFW:

Sekido

One word: Manhandling.

He doesn’t even have to try for it to be classified as throwing you around- You’re just so tiny and lightweight, it’s almost impossible to hold back enough, to mind his strength so that you don’t end up with bruises.

He takes great pleasure in manipulating you every which way for his own uses, and you don’t even put up a fight. You couldn’t, even if you wanted to.

Watching your lithe body be pounded into repeatedly for hours on end is a privilege that only he gets to enjoy, no one else. He will mark every single inch of your skin to let the world know you’re his, and nobody but him will get to manhandle you like this. 

His hands wrapped around your ankles, enough overlap from his fingers that it has his mind reeling. The way his cock makes a very much noticeable bump through your abdomen, and he presses down hard on it every time to relish in your pleasured cries. Your struggle to wrap your legs fully around his hips while riding or being fucked reaches deep into his primal instincts, enough to cause him to pump his cock relentlessly inside you, harder and harder.

By the end of the night, he wants you to have dozens of prints across your skin to showcase how much bigger your lover is than you. He wants to leave evidence inside you that leaks out in a stream, just because there’s no possible way it can all fit inside.

It numbs the usual anger and rage seething within him, and replaces it with pure satisfaction and possessiveness.

Karaku

He’s…A little sadistic about it.

He really enjoys seeing you struggle as you attempt to stuff his cock inside you. God forbid you start crying or tearing up, cause he’ll only tease you more as a result, maybe even mocking a little bit, but never to the point of degradation.

He’ll coo and murmur words of encouragement and love as you try again and again, before eventually taking control entirely. He’ll flip you over, and bully his way inside your warm, wet walls until tears are streaming down your face.

Thinks it’s adorable, the way you need to be prepped for hours just to take his dick. It honestly strokes his ego, which is already dangerous outside of sexual acts…

Oral is his preferred method of foreplay, and even enjoys it just by itself. He loves the way your walls flutter around his tongue, Karaku having to shove it extra hard just to get it inside your tiny hole. It can border on painful, the way he goes extra hard and rough as he feels how small your body is in his hands, but he makes sure it’s multitudes more pleasurable.

Loves to see you ride him, or rather, he loves to help you ride him. A perk of weighing nothing to him is the fact that he can move you on his cock like you’re nothing more than a fleshlight- But don’t worry, he’ll be praising you over and over for doing so well the entire time.

Half the time is spent staring where his cock disappears inside you, and subsequently where he shows up through your tummy. He’ll only press on it if you ask, though.

Urogi

Exclusively calls you “Dove” during the act.

You know how I said he makes personal nests just for you? Yeah, he also makes nests for the purpose of fucking in them. And he 100% insists on doing so at least half the time you two get intimate.

There’s something about seeing your tiny body so vulnerable in a nest made by him that rushes all the blood to his cock. He practically stops thinking entirely, becoming so needy and desperate that he’s humping your leg, your belly, any part he can reach.

In the same vein, he likes the way his cock looks so big in your hands, between your legs, anywhere really- As long as he gets to see your tiny hands caress him, he’s happy and chirping up a storm.

Though he has talons for hands, he’s incredibly gentle with them, especially during this intimate moment. He likes to pin your thin wrists above your head with just one hand, relishing in the way that he can overpower you so easily, and that you trust him enough to let it happen without a fight or single protest.

Uses his wings to blot out the sky/environment, so that your whole world is just him and him alone. He wants his precious, tiny S/O to focus on the way he makes you feel, to focus on his much larger body looming over yours.

He needs all of your attention, no matter what form it, or you, will come in.

Aizetsu

Also a little sadistic about it, but less than Karaku.

But somehow also the most soft in the bedroom. His protectiveness comes out full force during the act, his body hiding yours away from the world, rather than it from you. He wants to be as close as possible, chest on yours, legs intertwined, it’s almost suffocating really, but oh so gentle.

He coos in your ear about how soft you feel, how your tiny body fits so well against his, how he just wants to steal you away forever, just him and you for eternity. He doesn’t want anyone else looking at you the way he gets to, doesn’t want you to call anybody else yours. 

Conversely, he also wants to feel your hands on his body as well. He constantly guides your hands to caress his chest, his back, to tug at his hair and clothes- It brings tears to his eyes to know you’re as desperate for him as he is for you.

Will whine incessantly if you don’t touch him enough, he just wants to appreciate your small hands on his body, is that too much to ask for?

If he has enough rationality about him at that point, nearing his climax he’ll pull back and watch the way your hole stretches to accommodate his thick cock, taking him to the hilt. Though it’s obviously a struggle to do so, your body writhing as he tries to push in deeper and deeper, a hand pushing your legs further apart. Sometimes he’ll comment on it to you, inviting you to feel for yourself where he sinks into your body. He needs your validation, your attention, your presence-

Please look at him, and him only.

[avacoleman]

Going a different route this week with different WIP. This time, a rivals to lovers actors/co-stars AU! Here's a scene with Alex and Nora 😌

“He’s not even—“

“I swear to God, if you fix your mouth to say that man isn’t hot, I’m going to kick you in the shin,” Nora cuts in.

Alex can’t be entirely sure that it isn't just an idle threat. He sighs and rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. He’s conventionally good looking, but that’s just what fools everyone.”

“Right. Can’t also be the philanthropy and actual investments he puts in personally— and not just for photo ops. The guy is practically a saint.”

“Hardly. No one is that perfect. There has to be something going on with him.”

Nora snorts.

“Can we just, like, fast forward to the part where you realize why you actually have it out for Henry? Honestly, it would save me so much time.”

Alex sets his phone down on his lap and looks at her.

“What are you even talking about?” 

Nora arches a brow and scoffs.

“Oh, come on. This is so textbook it’s cliché. If you guys were kids, you’d totally be pushing him on the playground and teasing him.”

Alex’s brows furrow deeper in confusion and Nora groans, leaning in closer to him.

“Alright, cool. Guess I have to spell it out for you then. Ahem. You want to f-u-c-k him reeeeally badly, Alex,” she drawls. “So badly in fact, it’s making you certifiably insane and downright miserable. All that alleged hatred you have for him? Yeah, no. Built up sexual tension. I promise you, one night between the sheets with him would set you right. Guaranteed.”

She sits back and resumes flipping through her magazine as if she hasn’t just uttered the most ridiculous series of words Alex has ever heard in his life.

“You’re joking, right?” he says after a moment when his brain finally comes online again.

Nora doesn’t look up from the magazine at all; she makes a show of flipping the page.

“Nope,” she responds, the p making a loud popping sound.

Alex takes the magazine from her and sets it down on the coffee table. She crosses her arms and looks at him. 

“I was just about to start reading Henry’s interview. He’s the cover boy this month, you know.”

He glares at her.

“I think this conversation is more important than whatever he has to say in there. I don’t know what you think you’re seeing here, but I do not like him.”

Nora smirks slowly.

“Oh, honey, no. You misunderstand. Look, I’m not saying you like him either,” she says, putting a hand over her heart, voice the sound of innocence though her face is anything but. “I’m just saying you want to get him into bed. The depth of that is neither here nor there. Point is, you want to bang him and honestly, that’d probably be for the best. You need to get it out of your system. It’d do you both a world of good.”

She checks the time on her watch and gets up. 

“Shoot, I gotta go. But here,” she says, tossing the magazine to him. Alex instinctively grabs it.

“Page 26. He’s looking very good in his spread. Take your time. Feel inspired. Come to your damn senses. Then you can thank me later. Ciao, Alejandro!”

With a wiggle of her fingers, she turns and heads out of his trailer, leaving Alex to stare after her.

It’s quite possible she’s lost her mind.

tagging my beloved @sunshinestrand

[jackdaw-kraai]

Everyone tagging my addition to a post about how fucking cool my little sister was at fourteen and has been every year since to say that they were an absolute cringe fest at fourteen: one, it was about my rad as hell baby sis, it’s okay, not everyone can be as cool as her

And two: be kinder to yourself. Just because you were in the awkward second stage of your pokemon evolution line doesn’t mean you didn’t rock hard. You had the whole world stacked against you and the monumental task of finding out who the fuck you were while every adult was telling you you were either acting like an idiot or had nothing to look forward to. Do you even comprehend how unfair those odds were? How unfair it was to ask you to not make mistakes trying to figure out how to be an independent adult figure while everyone who already was an adult talked down on you instead of helping? How absolutely fucked it was to dismiss you as an idiot and as embarrassing just because you were young?

You were awesome at fourteen years old, no matter how lame, because you’re now here and you survived that fucking gauntlet of never-being-enough for long enough to realize you don’t need to give a shit. The only job you have now is to not be that same jackass adult to the next batch of fourteen year olds trying to climb their own Everest that is figuring out who the fuck they are by talking down on them like they’re idiots or chronically cringe or whatever the hell the kids are saying these days.

Kids are cool. They rock hard. Probably harder than you do if you’re actually bullying the younger version of you by calling them an idiot or cringe or uncool or whatever the current trend is.

I was a lame fourteen year old because I actively wanted to be, and figured that being lame was the best way to survive into adulthood without get ground down by the boot upon my neck. And fourteen year old me was right, making them the coolest fucking lamest fourteen year old as far as I’m concerned.

That fourteen year old fortnite dancing or making tiktoks or doing whatever kids are doing these days is cool as shit because they’re earnestly trying to figure out who they are and taking joy our of things even if they’re silly or adults are telling them they’re idiots for enjoying it instead of being miserable and depressed to “build character” or some horse shit. And they’re cooler than you if you’ve become the type of adult who talks down on teenagers doing that kind of stuff and having fun while doing it. That’s some “I’m not like other girls/guys/people” horseshit if I’ve ever seen it. Knock it the hell off and start rediscovering what fourteen year old you already knew: that earnestly trying to find out who you are is a process that necessitates mortification and that anyone who willingly and genuinely submits to that fact is more mature than anyone mocking it could ever dream of being.

And if you’re fourteen years old and reading this, or just a teen in general having to figure out who you are while all the adults in the world seem to be shitting on you out of some kind of projection of their own issues onto you and yours? You’re stronger than they are already. Don’t let them fool you, they’ve got it no more figured out than you. Continue whatever you’re doing as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone and you’ll be fine. In fact, you’ll be cool as fuck. And that’s a certified adult opinion.

[witch]

(image descriptions in alt text)

sorry for the delay! 48 animals. 5 rounds. 3 brackets. 1 tournament to settle it all. here in Creacher Contest 2022, the greatest minds in the history of this website (and you!) will gather to decide once and for all who is tumblr’s favorite little scrimblo bimblo. you all voted in the first round. now begins round 2 to decide the creacher among creachers!

THE RESULTS AND THE ROUND 2 LINK (under the cut!)

CARD 1: Pikachu (winner!) vs. Stuart Little: with 286 votes against Stuart's 39, Pikachu has claimed the most overwhelming Round 1 victory with a whopping 88 percent! Does he have enough Z-Power to maintain this momentum in the coming matches? Stay tuned!

CARD 2: Tom & Jerry vs. Perry the Platypus (winner!): in a heinous act one can only describe as homophobic, Tom and his husband Jerry have been taken out of the game in Round 1 after accruing only 110 votes (33.8%) against Perry's 215 (66.2%). Reporters are calling this tragedy the worst thing to happen to gay people since my straight sister learned how to say 'yass'.

CARD 3: Kirby (winner!) vs. The Lorax: Our orange friend (56 votes, 17.2%) may have powerful connections here on Tumblr via the Onceler, but even those could not save him from the super tough pink puff. His current location is unknown and Kirby (269 votes, 82.8%) has been spotted with a yellow mustache. Call the police.

CARD 4: The Minions (winner!) vs. Talking Tom This match was a bit closer, but thanks to everyone's efforts, Talking Tom (133 votes, 40.9%) has been fucking sent to hell. Anyone else remember the schoolyard rumor that Talking Tom takes pictures of people through his eyes? Like sure the whole thing is probably some datamining thing but that's literally not how anything works??? How was this a rumor????? Ok anyways Minions win (192 votes, 59.1%)

CARD 5: Dog (Columbo) (winner!) vs. Dog (Good Omens): War is hell... but today in this dog-eat-dog world, one sleepy fucking hound (186 votes, 57.2%) rose to the occasion and proved himself to be a certified sloppy floppy. (note: do NOT confuse with 'sloppy toppy'. the resemblance is coincidental. all basset hounds are sloppy AND floppy. think Mr. J's signature 'sloppy style' and we will understand each other and then kiss.) I know nothing about Good Omens and have nothing to add for the other Dog, who admittedly did well in his own right with 139 votes, 42.8%.

CARD 6: Bond Forger vs. Gunter (winner!): I honestly thought this race would be closer, but that probably says more about me than them lol. Taking 67.1% of the card with 218 votes, Gunter has defeated Bond (107 votes, 32.9) in a victory for secret aliens everywhere.

CARD 7: Silkie vs. Waddles (winner!): As a Gen Z elder (lol) who watched Teen Titans reruns on Boomerang, Silkie (79 votes, 24.3%) had my vote. Did this poll reach a younger crowd than me, or is Waddles (246 votes, 75.7%) simply that powerful?

CARD 8: Temmie (winner!) vs. Puppycat: This matchup was super close! Temmie (176 votes, 54.2%) managed to beat Puppycat (149 votes, 45.8%), but there really was no clear winner until the end. This battle of what are basically two tbhs with animal features was certainly the most exciting!

CARD 9: Yoshi (winner!) vs. Chocobo: The only knowledge of Chocobos (98 votes, 30.2%) I have is from this stupid fucking Chocobo anthro art my friend used to spam my DMs with. I basically just needed a thematically similar animal to job to Yoshi (227 votes, 69.8%). Yoshi's Island DS was actually the first video game I physically owned as a kid, so he's kinda special to me lol

CARD 10: Little Buddy vs. Crab (winner!): I had personally predicted Crab's victory (231 votes, 71.1%), but not to such an extent! In only seven weeks. the release of Splatoon 3 (Splathreen) revitalized and expanded its title's fandom. However, it proved to be ineffective against the might of the humble crab, aka the only good thing Tumblr's done for April Fool's since the lizard election. RIP Wretched Tooth I miss you every day #wretchedtoothstandsfortruth

CARD 11: Mr. J (winner!) vs. Salem: L to Salem (114 votes, 35.1%), but you'll always hold a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, it won't be as special as the one reserved for Mr. J, Tumblr's favorite small cat and one of the few Tumblr famous bloggers I don't want to set adrift in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Now that that's out of the way: MR. J SWEEP COME ON EVERYONE VOTE FOR MR. J WE CAN DO IT

CARD 12: The Four Dark Devas of Destruction vs. Hamtaro (winner!): Once again, I haven't consumed either media here and have nothing to say on the matter. However, my friend was happy to hear that "the Danganronpa one lost". Part of me has to agree.

CARD 13: Toothless (winner!) vs. Stitch: Not only was this the closest match with Toothless at 167 votes (51.4%) and Stitch at 158 votes (48.6%), it was also the most controversial, yielding multiple complaints and one (1) death threat. While I sympathize and realize that putting two contenders as strong as Toothless and Stitch together in the first round may not have been the best move, I need everyone to understand that they have similar faces and must be grouped together for that. Thank you. Peace and love

CARD 14: Appa (winner!) vs. Lion: Did the ATLA fandom coordinate a move on this tournament? Because Appa (266 votes, 81.8%) beat Lion (59 votes, 18.2%) by a landslide! The representative of one of Tumblr's historically biggest fandoms losing like this surprised me, but if some sort of fandom participation really did occur, that makes me happy :)

CARD 15: Garfield (winner!) vs. Scooby-Doo: Report: After consuming no less than seven entire large pizzas, Scooby-Doo (149 votes, 45.8%) the dog was immediately rushed to the fucking vet. His owner, Shaggy was found similarly unresponsive. Sorry, Scooby: it was a close race, but nobody can beat Garfield (176 votes, 54.2%) in the art of eating Italian food and doing fuck all. Better luck next time!

CARD 16: Dimple vs. Moomin (winner!): Even after the coming and going of the Moomin (262 votes, 80.6%) fandom directly on my dashboard, all I can fucking think of is that gif of a blob of white mochi getting fucking pummeled in an automatic mochi maker that someone tagged '#moomin...' no matter what I do. That aside, he wiped the floor with Dimple (63 votes, 19.4%), who admittedly should have lost by disqualification anyways.

CARD 17: K-9 vs. Gary (winner!): Most important poll of the day, serving it up, Gary's (229 votes, 70.5%) way! Gary did great up against K-9 (96 votes, 29.5%), who is in fact this poll's only representative of SuperWhoLock. SuperWho would've thought he'd only rack up that many votes? Truly, no fandom can transcend one's early childhood.

CARD 18: Midna (winner!) vs. Morgana: In this battle of scrunkly little cat people, Midna (193 votes, 59.4%) was the definite winner, beating out Morgana (132 votes, 40.6%) by a decent amount. Whoever wins this tournament should be playable in Smash Bros 6

CARD 19: Puffles (winner!) vs. Chao: I feel like the Puffles (191 votes, 58.8%) won for the same reason Gary won: sheer power of childhood memory. As a kid, I always wanted the black one... was it locked behind the paid membership? It's been several years, so naturally I forgor. As for Chaos (134 votes, 41.2%): I am so fucking sorry to the person who said #CHAOSWEEP in the comments lol

CARD 20: Cousin Itt (winner!) vs. Tony Tony Chopper: the one piece wasnt real :(

CARD 21: Rigby vs. Mushu (winner!): Personally, I was really gunning for Rigby (125 votes, 38.5%). With Dimple so immediately out of the race, I was hoping for at least one representative of pathetic men everywhere. That being said, congrats to Mushu (200 votes, 61.5%)! Vote for him in Round 2 if you want him to job to Mr. J!

CARD 22: Luna vs. Hobbes (winner!): I read Calvin and Hobbes as a kid and only recently watched Sailor Moon as a feature for my anime club, but I can honestly say I like both. I still think a crossover would be gold! Show me Luna (117 votes, 36.0%) offering Calvin and Hobbes (208 votes, 64.0%) magical girl powers, Calvin rejecting the offer performatively and whining about lack of powers. That's 12 full strips of Calvin and Hobbes! Make it happen.

CARD 23: Ein (winner!) vs. Iggy: Ok quick tangent. I just looked up 'ein cowboy bebop' to find out what he does, clicked into the wiki and found a tiny, useless article only to then realize I was not on Cowboy Bebop Wiki but in fact the dreaded Heroes Wiki. This and Villains Wiki are the bane of my existence and I'd raise a glass if all parties involved were stranded on a snowy mountain. The Heroes Wiki entry for Spike Spiegel is 1980 words. The Bebop Wiki entry is 8000 words! Why the fuck would I ever want to read the latter? Why does it exist? Are there seriously people who browse Heroes Wiki, just clicking from unrelated protagonist to unrelated protagonist? It has absolutely no functional use in any fandom whatsoever! Any time I look up a fictional character, there's a 90% chance that the Heroes or Villains entry will be the one Google puts on top as if to say 'yeah, this is what you want. trust me.' And without fail, I click it every time! Since the Nazis who own Fandom made the mobile version of all their wikis the same fuck-ugly yellow, I can never tell until it's too late and I've wasted nearly forty seconds of precious time. If I was Elon Musk, not only would I not buy Twitter, I would instead buy Fandom, blow both of these wretched wikis off the face of the fucking earth and ban the IP adresses of anyone to ever type a single word into one of their useless, obtrusive entries. I cannot possibly overstate how much vitriol I bear towards these websites. Please vindicate me in the replies. Anyways, Ein got 265 votes (81.5%) and the other one got 60 votes (18.5%).

CARD 24: Snoopy (winner!) vs. Sakamoto: Snoopy got 195 votes (60.0%) and Sakamoto got 130 votes (40.0%). To quote my cousin's reaction when they found out:

"thank you snoppy"

here's the link to vote in the second round! i'll probably keep it open until 11:59pm est on november 3rd, that way i can get round 3 out in time for destiel day :)

finally, to conclude the post, here is a selection of my favorite comments from round 1 (view on mobile for optimal experience!)

thanks for playing! ~♥♛

[itsbenedict]

okay, so- the past three days have been pretty insane, hence no to-do lists. did not know hour-to-hour what in the hell i'd have to do next.

monday morning, there was a company meeting, and it was announced that we were being sold. this was not... the most surprising thing in the world, because about a month ago there was this sudden hasty push by the top to reorganize the business into distinct independent units that didn't depend on shared services. like, what else would the point of doing that be, if not to sell off pieces of the business? sure, they said that wasn't happening, but who the hell was fooled by that?

so i used to do most of my work on these projects for this one specific business unit, building and running a bunch of middleware API integrations for our learning management system. but my boss, who used to be in charge of the dev team generally, got assigned to this totally different unit- and she liked me enough that she pushed really hard to get me reassigned to her unit.

so i was already conflicted about that:

i really like my boss- she's really understanding of my need for flexibility to work on my side projects, she only cares that i get the work done (and even with many side projects, i still consistently exceed expectations and get a full-time workload done ahead of schedule), and she was pushing hard to get me a raise against upper management who'd taken to using covid austerity as an excuse to never give anyone any raises ever. and the team assigned to this unit didn't have any senior devs who could handle a big infrastructure transition, and i'd just become AWS certified, and without someone like me, my coworkers assigned to that unit would be in some hot water. plus, after the transition, maintaining a reduced suite of products would probably be easier day-to-day.

but on the other hand, all my projects in the other business unit, with the LMS- those are pretty vital, and the nature of the contracts with those clients necessitates frequent maintenance and changes. my code for those integrations is bad, for various reasons but mainly that there is no dev environment for testing changes. it's fundamentally about managing production data in databases we don't directly control, so every change has to be done very quickly and carefully, with no room for big refactors to clean things up (and risk breaking stuff). it's a mess, and no one in the other business unit is prepared to take it over. plus- i liked working directly with clients, doing work where if i did the work someone was appreciative of the work. it was motivating!

ultimately, i decided to trust my boss and follow her to the other business unit. we weren't completely splitting from the rest of the business- i'd still be able to train up someone else to take over my projects, we'd still have the shared customer accounts management software, and- crucially- i'd still have the boss who understood my needs and had no interest in squeezing value out of me.

so i went on vacation for a couple weeks right after committing to that decision- and then i came back on monday, and that day they announce we're being sold.

also that my boss is fired and being replaced by someone from the new company.

also that we have two months to completely disconnect all our products from shared service infrastructure and rebuild our own.

also no takesies-backsies, the acquisition agreement included terms that the former company not hire back any of the sold-off employees or even discuss the acquisition with them at all. no chance to react to the new information except to sign the new offer letter by close of business on Wednesday.

i was unhappy about this! can you tell???

so my first thought was- okay, this is bullshit. i still want to work for the LMS people, the LMS people still want me to work for them, there has to be a solve here. so i go to the guy in charge of that division, who also wants me to keep working there, and he says okay i'll have our lawyers look into it.

and then... he gets back to me sounding like a robot, "i am unable to discuss this further with you at this time", which is so obviously out of character for the guy that i can tell legal's thrown the book at him. i talk to legal myself- it's a dead end. they can't- they're unable to even talk about why they can't talk about it, because obviously this deal was engineered to prevent me from doing exactly what i'm trying to do here.

so i go at it from the other angle. president of the sold company, now a wholly-owned for-profit subsidiary of a nonprofit organization (is that even allowed???), i explain to him, hey, this is a mistake, i'm only here because my old boss really wanted me to be on her team, surely you can let me go continue doing my actual job?

nope.

so then i start playing hardball.

the salary they're offering me is, adjusted for inflation, less than the salary i was offered two years ago, which had come with the (entirely failed) non-promise that i'd be bumped up to a certain level very quickly after some formalities re: the employment structure. i explain, in detail, how upset i am with the entire state of affairs- and i threaten to walk, which i am allowed to do. i'm not required to sign their new contract- i'd need to go job-hunting, sure, but i have money in the bank, i can afford to do it, and i could definitely get a better deal somewhere else.

this is a tense situation! my old boss knew this team needed me- but they unceremoniously fired her while she was on vacation, so her opinion doesn't mean dirt to them apparently. it's unclear how vital i really am to this- they could maybe train up one of the other devs to handle the AWS stuff.

and on my side- if i walk, that's it. all that horrible messy code for the LMS stuff- i don't get two months to train someone else up and write documentation and do some housecleaning. i'm gone! my horrific dirty laundry (and hours and hours of regular maintenance work) gets handed off to some other dev who's totally unprepared for it, and that person inevitably puts a curse on my entire family line as retribution for me leaving them holding that intolerable bag. i don't actually want to walk, because then i end up the bad guy in the eyes of people i respect and care about.

(also i'd have to do a job hunt and that shit is so god damn annoying you have no idea you probably have some idea.)

so i tell the guy, look- i can do better. i'm basically starting over doing harder work at an unfamiliar company, and if i'm doing that anyway, why not do it for someone who'll pay me? if you don't give me X amount of money, i'm walking out, and now you don't have an infrastructure guy during the two-month window you have to migrate a shit-ton of infrastructure. i am a serious dude and you can't just fuck with me!

(and inside i'm like:

because oh god i am not a serious dude i am so easily fucked with what if i'm pushing my luck too hard)

and he lets me fuckin' stew. 5:00 on wednesday i need to have either signed a contract or not signed a contract, and he hedges and goes to talk with the higher-ups and makes no promises, and i have no idea whether it's because i scared him or if he's trying to work out how to replace me or what. all this negotiation has been eating my brain for the past couple days and it's coming down to the wire-

and then a couple hours before the deadline he gets back to me with a counteroffer. it's less than i was asking, because that's how negotiations work, but it is more than i was making when i was brought on, by a good 10k.

so now it's on to round two. i'm gonna stick around for this two-month period, make this transition work, clean up my mess and take care of things with my now ex-coworkers- and then if they haven't either proven their management is tolerable or given me a crystal-clear path to advancement, we're back to the standoff- except this time, they'll have a good idea of exactly what it is they stand to lose.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. okay. okay. yeah. so that's dealt with for the time being. i can breathe now. we'll see how it goes. fuck.

[bellyasks]

totally misread a request as being for Prompts instead of Ask Game so heres this while i redo it gjhdsjhd (stuffing -> stomachache)

Challenge: Your character is a competetive type, and they'd rather die than back down from a challenge. When they're dared to finish off en enormous serving of food in one sitting, they get right on it, determined to come out on top. Whether they go at it strategically or not is up to you, but it's going to be hard on their poor stomach whether they manage to finish or not.

Challenge Aftermath: Your character is left with a painfully stretched belly, and potentially the shame of failure on top of it. Even if they finished everything, the taste of victory isn't sweet enough to cancel out their awful bellyache. Does the person who challenged them feel guilty? Do they tease your character for being such a knucklehead? Do they offer them something to help?

Appetite: Your character is absolutely starving. Their eyes are bigger than their stomach, and while the amount of food they make/order seems perfect on an empty belly, it quickly proves to be far too much. It isn't long before they start feeling full, but, not wanting to look silly for misjudging, they try to finish as much as they can. How much can they eat before their belly forces them to stop?

Appetite Aftermath: Your character is far too full to finish everything and has to reluctantly put away the leftovers. Their belly feels strained and yucky, and all they want to do now is curl up in bed and let their belly settle. Are they able to? Is anybody around to witness their tummyache? What would the other person/people do?

Defiant: Your character is a certified pain. If somebody tells them to do one thing, they just have to do the opposite. When somebody suggests they save some of their enormous meal for later so they don't make themself sick, it's no exception--now they have to finish, simply because they were instructed not to.

Defiant Aftermath: Your character has made a fool of themself whether they managed to finish their food or not; now they're saddled with a bloated, aching tummy and the shame of proving the other person right. Does the person who warned them say "I told you so"? Do they take pity on your poor overstuffed character?

Emergency: Your character has to get rid of a lot of food fast. Maybe it's about to expire, maybe it's perishable and they have nowhere to put it, maybe they're not supposed to have it and somebody's coming home early, but they need it gone, and there's only one logical place to put it. The question is, do they succeed before their belly starts aching too badly to finish?

Emergency Aftermath: Your character has managed to get rid of the food, or at least most of it, but now they're stuck sprawled out on the couch with a heavy, swollen belly. They make quite a sight for whoever next comes through the door. Their belly is bulging out uncomfortably, and they're looking more than a little green. If somebody else does come home, how do they react upon seeing your character? If not, how will your character try to soothe their sore tummy?

[basilhomebrews]

Hey, how've you been? Have you been eating right? I've been super busy with irl stuff, you know how it is. Anyways, have this super late April Fool's joke class for Fabula Ultima (late only here, dropped this one on the Rooster Games discord and FabUlt subreddit and it was a certified HIT, you just had to be there man /hj)

Anyways, don't expect anything anytime soon; got some irl stuff still going on and a pretty ambitious homebrew project in the works, might just drop FabUlt items here and there if I feel like it.

Here's the original google doc, if you wanna leave suggestions and such: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MPLasgPJvXuZuDL-9awpi_ayptUYTuzz6a2dIrwbFt8/edit?usp=sharing

Peace out, internet sailor.

[oscconfessions]

To the anon who made the anti-ship ask, I agree with you on some level.. but also don't?

Now, I’ll give you credit. I do personally enjoy most wlw stuff from the osc. So I might have some baises here. I do get where you're coming from when it comes to shipping.

But at the same time, I think the reason you don't see that many anti shippers in the tumblr/twt community is because most antishippers in the osc (Who doesn't actually even use that title) are 10 year old boys on some big osc youtubers community tag.

And a lot of oscyt who do fall under the line of anti shippers are just very immature individual who are stuck in the echochamber known as the community tab of youtube who would most likely be as immature if they were shippers) but that still doesn't help out in the image

Basically most anti shippers in the osc don't actively want to critique and rant on ships like you do, most osc anti shippers don't really know how to even analyze the writing (Ex. "team that loses = bad writing")

TLDR: Anti-ship discoursein the osc, (FROM WHAT I KNOW) is very very stupid and usually very very petty

I do agree with you the more shippy sides of the osc are very allergic to non-ship dynamics, but

*Epic cowboy hat going down*

Look, I've been in the same situation as you, so many characters I like get stripped down to some basic garbage personality, tha lacks the nuance they have in canon. And then it’s all I see of them, I only see people portray them that one way and I can’t escape it. I feel it’s also shoved down my face.

But now, and this is where you might lose me, and where my take might become ass.

IF you want anti-ship osc content you need to make it yourself, even with all the haters.

I wanted more content that noticed the characters actual personality, so I started posting analises, I wanted to find people who shared my takes so I started looking around for people(THIS was actually way easier due to me making content, since those people KNEW my takes)

I'm sorry to say it, but people who like shipping all the characters together won't suddenly stop posting that content or posting more platonic content of osc characters because you don't like ships. Whilst it sucks that you feel like you have a place in the osc, a lot of the people came here wanting to ship stuff, a lot of people enjoy doing that just as much as you enjoy antishipping

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY

If you want more platonic osc content, if you want MORE anti ship content you'll need to make it yourself, if you want to stop having ship content down your tags then block as many ships you know of. (Again I'll give you credit this ain't fool proof), Your confession is true I do agree with it. I know you might feel forced to ship things, but I’m telling you right now as a person who's been in a lot of /fandoms that are big on shipping, no one is forcing you. And I think you understand that. But forcing yourself to like shipping isn't good. But then again I can't really blame you (god this is way to long)

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, If you want to have a space for platonic osc dynamics THEN YOU CAN’T EXPECT PEOPLE WILL MAGICALLY KNOW YOU WANT THAT IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM. I’m sorry to say this (because I’ve done this before) But especially on the internet people don’t know what you want.

And looking at the response your ask got, THERE IS A AUDIENCE FOR IT. Even if it isn’t big, people do want to see that!

YOU KNOW WHAT! If you make a blog or whatever about divorces and platonic osc dynamics, I will be your number one supporter! KEEP ON DESTROYING RELATIONSHIPS, GO FOR IT! HAVE FUN!

- a certified yapper (PS TO any people who are really into shipping who would attack this person for having a blog about antishipping, your as bad as the oscyt 10 year olds)(I sorry if this is mean I'm going insane, have a lovely life etc))

.

[capcavan]

Riko theme songs ! Raven Fox + more aggressively 2000's get your eyeliner ready!

I'm Back by Dope - survived the gunshot and decided to make it EVERYONE's problem

Monster by skillet if this alone does not make you HEAR this song then I doubt you will like this playlist anyway

To be loved by papa roach - Raven riko I want domination I want your submission I see you're not resisting To this temptation I got one confession A love deprivation I got a jet-black heart It's all fucked up, and it's falling apart

Last Resort by papa roach - Raven riko

Right now by KoRn - Raven riko You open your mouth again I swear I'm gonna break it You open your mouth again My God, I cannot take it

Blood Game by Project Pitchfork Gives Tetsuji vibes too You make your own rules But everything you touch Dies in painYou say we're the fools You attempt to live Will end in vain

All my hate by KoRn - more angry Raven riko

Evolution by KoRn - self reflection time I, I do not dare deny The basic beast inside It's right here, it's controlling my mind And why do I deserve to die? I'm dominated by this animal that's locked up inside

One Step Closer by Linkin Park - anger is an emotion

Our of control by Hoobastank - time to leave nest

The first of me by Hoobastank - fox riko athem i based my whole obsession with fox riko on this song I hear a voice inside It's grown into a scream I'm not the next of them I am the first of me 'Cause I can't live the lie I am just what you see I'm not the next of them I am the first of me

End of me by Ashes Remain - Fox riko year 1 I ran away from the pain Always breaking down inside Incomplete But now I see This won't be the end of me

No Surrender by Beast in Black - Fox Riko year 2 When the skin is thin and the flesh shows through Smoking guns take aim at you Victimized by a fate so dire Now a messenger of true hellfire Raging willpower unleashed from below Nothing can stop you, there's nothing that strong

Shogun by Trivium - setup for very specific au i am where riko becomes fox but unable to work though his issues and depression ends up committing after all original foxes leave palmetto Time will not heal all of your pain I cannot wait for it all to come crashing Down on your face, ripping your veins out Your insides rend and kill you from within

Over My Head by Sum 41 - Raven Riko

Another way out by Hollywood Undead - very NEST song especially if you go by idea of Riko breaking Kevins hand to get him out of nest.

Born Again by Beast in Black - Riko/Kevin

The Heretic Athem by Slipknot - Raven Riko (holds myself back from putting here like 10 slipknot songs bc it's my favourite band)

My Funeral by Dope - Leaving exy

Nothing For me here by Dope - Left exy works for Moriyamas misses exy simple Time of dying aka song I give to all dead faves Sad but True Vermillion One Reason - certified nest theme song

[evolutionsvoid]

While the divine fluids hold great power and sway in this world, they are not the only tools available. There are a lot of folk out there who do not have access to an abundant source of these humors, and what little they have is best served for food, warmth and medicine. What good is such powerful magic if your family freezes in the cold night, or your fellow townsfolk grow ill from blight? Wasting this precious fluid on anything else seems foolish, especially when there are easier tools to use in a fight. The world is bountiful in more than just humor, which can be seen in the great mines that burrow deep into buried corpses, or in the billowing strands of a hair-filled field. The millennia of godfalls and countless other carcasses is what made the land we stand upon now, and in their death comes our blessings. Dissectors and harvesters work through the flesh filled earth or reap from the overflowing fields, gathering precious resources for the people to use. These materials build homes, carry bread and cloak bodies, and when things grow dire, they can arm and protect. And as war rages across the land and madness plagues the very world, weapons are seemingly needed now more than ever.  

Bone: The most common material used to craft weapons, bone is enjoyed for its sturdy nature and heft. Bileforgers are able to melt down bone and shape it into whatever form they need, or can reinforce it with stronger ivory chunks. It is a material good for slashing, stabbing and smashing, shaped into a wide variety of weapons. Folks say that bone is your standard fare, good for when any weapon will do. It is important to know what entity these bones came from, as that will determine their strength and durability, and nothing frustrates a bileforger more than getting a satchel full of loose tibia and a "I don't know." 

Chitin: A weapon material praised for its razor edge and lightweight, perfect for those who seek speed in their strikes or don't wish to haul a heavy bone club across the landscape. Chitin is favored for slashing weapons, as little work needs to be done at the forge to get that perfect cutting edge. The material is also enjoyed for its natural color, as most others require paints, dyes or humor infusions to gain a pleasing palette. Chitin is gorgeous from the moment it is harvested, and in the hands of a professional bileforger, they can be turned into deadly works of art. 

Keratin: When warriors and workers need flexibility, then keratin is the material they choose. These harvested hairs are not just physically flexible, but also can be utilized in a variety of ways. Ropes of hair are already common, and any fool can shape a thickened strand into a nasty point. Keratin is great for bows and weapons that need to have some bend and give. They also can be hardened into spears and other piercing weapons, while plated keratin can form hammers, clubs and tough armor. Horns also fall into the realm of keratin, and it doesn't take a crazy imagination to see the potential those have. Keratin can come in a variety of colors, just the same range that can grow from one's scalp. These can be found growing naturally across the landscape, while some farm special strains to get the right consistency and color. It is also an easy material to grow at home, requiring no mining or hunting to obtain, all one needs is a pouch of hair bulbs, nutritious soil and patience.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"FOI Common Weapons"

A shorter entry, but I think a good one for a decent look into this world. A thing to keep in mind is that everything is pretty much organic. Metal is not a material used here (and if one of my drawings looks like it has metal in it...uh, no it isn't...I mean, dragon scales! It's dragon scales or ichored bone! GEYAH!), so everything is forged and carved from things like bone, hair, chitin, scales and hide. Yessiree! This world is certified 100% organic (except for glass, stone and a little oh you get the point).

And if anyone is like "but bone isn't actually good for weapons and such" just remember: this is fantasy bone! Mined straight from the earth by miner bugs carving through the buried corpses of fallen gods. Lets have some fun here!

[mayathescientist]

okay so, ace attorney tumblr and my followers

the character on my pfp is my ace attorney oc drawn by the amazing @nebravsky and I'll teaser him a little bit in this post, if anyone gets interested I'll make another post where I tell the full story!

he's a doctor, a past criminal, a prosecutor and a certified fucking clown. full drawing from my pfp:

he lived in one house with manfred von karma and kinda took care of the von karma kids, long story why. him and manfred had a bit of a fucked up personal (if a bit one-sided) relationship which he then had to learn to live without when mvk ended up in prison after aa1-4

he loves von karma siblings dearly and taking care of them is, as he thinks, the only thing that kept him from being a completely fallen man beyond redemption and a pathetic worm without morality. however, that relationship is also a bit fucked up and one-sided, he only did what his job and manfred allowed him to do and could never get close Enough to help them emotionally; that's why he did the best he could by putting on a clown face and just being their little jester to lighten up the mood. miles always just sort of tried to stay away from him, his offerings of help and silly jokes, but on the inside grew to really appreciate the fact that this person is always around; franziska kinda made him a scapegoat for all her anger as a child, since he was in a vulnerable position and the house and was such a person to just laugh it off anyway, but even though she would always give him the "foolish fool" treatment, she'd sometimes leave her pride at the door and come to him for help (mostly for medical issues). he loves them and feels like knowing him makes him a better person – at least somewhat of a good person.

later in life, actually, almost immediately after aa1-4 and the manfred situation, he became a prosecutor to morally redeem himself (again – it's a long story what he needed redemption for). he has a relationship with gumshoe!! and with lana skye but that's for another day.

he's a sassy bitch, a pathetic jokester, a self-loathing idiot and a pretty troubled and conflicted person who couldn't figure out his priorities for years because of how much he's been puppeteered by other people and thrown around all walks of life; even right now he only knows that he should (and can) stand up to evil, and that he'd die for miles edgeworth and franziska von karma. I love him a lot im sorry if it shows.

here are some sketches of him!

text from all images:

1 - Do I look professional? - No. - That's because I am! Wait-

2 - The King and The Jester

3 - I will not be prosecuting cases like manfred von karma, may dogs pee on his grave! (1/3)

4 - I invented a new, revolutionary, original, and fully humane approach! (2/3)

5 - ☆ have absolutely no thoughts or theories on the matter and simply memorize the notes of an infinitely more skilled prosecutor before going out to court!! ☆ (3/3)

(this comic is. WELL. ITS NOT JUST A JOKE ITS CANON FOR THE CHARACTER but that's a long story)

[freaky-munson]

Little Vixen - E.Munson

navigation

Domestic vibes that is cute, little stories based on simple seemingly not big life events ✨🫶

stories will not be connected to each other; steve/eddie/billy/robin x reader

Words: 742

Warning: fem!reader, some light dirty talk

the one where Y/n dyes her hair

From the same beginning deep inside Y/n knew it wasn’t good idea. This stupid fight she had with Eddie, that she didn’t even remember its reason, probably the D&D debate ending little bit later than expected or again renting out the horror movie even when he knew she despised those.

So she was sad, moreover she was extremely bored, due to banning her boyfriend’s visits for few days to calm down; so when this crazy thought came up in her mind, she thought ‘why not?’, without any sign of hesitation.

That’s how she ended up with her bathroom, firstly standing confidently in front of her mirror holding in her hand container with dye.

She always thought about darkening her slightly lighter hair. And spending a lot of money, when only she had shitty job at video renting store, to go to hairdresser wasn’t the best idea. In her weird mind doing it all by herself seemed to be that best idea.

Yet, her confidence worsened with each passing minute; the mess was only enlarging, she stained her face and hands and the hair ended up looking not exactly as she wanted - the warm chocolate brunette, only black as coal.

Eddie sensed something was wrong-ish. He knew that he fucked up a little when he didn’t call her to inform her about getting late from the campaign, making his girl worried about him. But this stupid silent treatment usually lasted few hours, excluding phone calls, cause even when they were mad at each other they never wanted to make themselves concerned, overthinking that something bad may happen to them.

That’s why, when she didn’t pick up the phone 3 times, he didn’t waste much time and got out his trailer and quickly decided to pay Y/n a little visit.

Having the spare key he didn’t bothered with knocking, just went inside.

“Y/n? Baby? Where are you?”

The girl’s eyes widened; she wasn’t ready to see anybody. Her hair were up in the bun, still wet from all of the maintenance after dye treatment, the bathroom was even bigger mess and apart her face and hands all of her clothes were dirty. She looked like certified hobo.

“Eddie! Wait! Stay downstairs, on no account go into the bathroom! Cause, I’m naked!”

“You know baby girl, if that was meant to discourage me, it worked quite opposite” Y/n could hear the cocky smirk that for sure painted his face and also could imagine his dirty thoughts. “What the hell happened here? And why aren’t you naked?”

“Don’t be a baby and stop with that whining. Well I might have been quite bored without your presence, and I thought, you know, that maybe changing my appearance would do me good. It turns out it slightly backfired”

“You could even go bald and you still would be the prettiest girl in my eyes. And the black hair? Damn, that’s so metal baby. I think I’m already hard for you” she rolled her eyes and started to clean up a little bit.

“Have you seen me? How is that arousing you? Besides, it won’t be black. I just need to wash it out a little bit more and we will get this pretty chocolate brown they promised”

“You sure will princess. Even when it won’t happen, the black hair is gorgeous. Baby, right now you look so beautiful. So hot. So sexy. Whatever you’re wearing, however your hair looks like you never stop turning me on, you little vixen” the curly haired boy came closer to his girlfriend and wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her closer

“Stop fooling around. You’re just horny. As always. And as you might forgot I’m still mad at you”

“Maybe within this overdue apology, for worrying you so much, instead we will worry your neighbours when you will be screaming under me, begging for making you cum after all the pleasure I’m planning on giving you.”

Eddie kissed her neck, sucking harder under the girl’s left ear making her shudder “So want do you say, is my long fingers, skilled tongue and fat cock enough for you to finally forgive me?” he whispered seductively, making Y/n extremely aroused.

She clenched her thighs holding in the sinful moan and dragged her man to her bedroom

“If I knew that you would jump my bones as soon as I dyed my hair, I would do it long time ago.”

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eddie munson

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