#one exam down one more to go
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the exam might have sucked but at least i get to watch the 23.5 ost mv now. and also i had a message from my crush who i haven't talked to in 6 weeks waiting for me on my phone when i exited the lecture hall
#one exam down one more to go#i might have to retake both of them next month but hopefully then i'll be better prepared#the lecturer for the friday exam is pretty strict sooo i'm already mentally preparing myself for a 2nd try#oh well#at least i get to watch ep1 of 23.5 after my exam on friday!!!!!!#airenyah plappert
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22/5/24
✿❈✿❈✿
Did well on my exam I think? Managed to write everything I prepared at least
Mango and coconut ice cream
Steak pie and sweet potato chips
Saw lots of magpies
#happiness diary#happiness diary: may 2024#one exam down one more to go#gonna start studying for it tomorrow#3 essays in 3 hours#ill do my best#also i got remediation for my history essay cus the teacher put his marking scheme in above my conclusion#so he didn't see it and told me like your essay was good but where is your conclusion and bibliography#and i was like uh under your marking scheme but i did forget to put in the bibliography so my bad dont know how i did that#so now i need to wait and hear back from him#hopefully he doent do the same thing for the fake exam#but thats happened to me twice both times it was history teachers where they put their marking scheme in above my conclusion#and gave me remediation because of it#i mean i did forget the bibliography this time but all the footnote references were there so he can make do ...#he told me to put the remidiation in blue so i have a blue bibliography and a couple blue quotation marks sprinkled in the essay body#and a note telling him what he did#cant blame him though if i had to read that many essays on such a depressing topic i too would be too tired to scroll down to the bottom#anyway sleepy night
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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it’s tuesday
#i have an exam tomorrow … crafting this post with excellent care during my study break#happy tuesday everyone#girl sat at a desk kind of near me in the library and ive already imagined us becoming bffs like ten times#going to take a break at eight to watch geeks & nerds for harris … JENMISH 🫶🫶🫶#rpf is more important than psych#literally had the most beautiful lunch today i went out my gma#had fried okra green beans mac and cheese fried taters with coconut cream pie …#SCRAN !!!!!!#wearing the princess diana fall fit 2day but i lowkey just look like i don’t have pants on and im too tall to pull it off#and my HAIR !!!! IS UGLY !!!! ONCE AGAIN !!!!#need to start wearing wigs or like something bc i have a solid two pieces of hair on my head#that one mutual who don’t play about being bald#ok gootbye need to lock in#if you read all the way to down here pls send ur fave album and ill stream#while i study#the lineup rn is harrys house -> bruce born in usa live in 84 -> not sure as of rn
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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Since we all agree legacy is a moth running cat software then he'd probably get zoomies!!!! Like imagine coming home at 3 am because of a work dinner or something and legacy is just sososo happy you're back that he starts running around the house like crazy because he's so excited:(((
oh my moon and stars this is absolutely adorable thank you so much anon
just imagine you get home in the wee hours of the morning, exhausted and wanting to just fall over, which you almost do when you sit to take off your shoes. then suddenly you hear a delighted trill from upstairs, Foul Legacy darting out of his room and down the stairs to scoop you into a tight hug, nuzzling his face into your neck with a chitter before setting you gently down. you smile tiredly, sitting down to watch him sprint around the house, trying to get all that energy out- your hardwood floors are ruined forever from his claws, the skittering making deep gouges, but you don't really mind. eventually Legacy slows to a stop beside you, breathing heavily and shaking out his fur until it's a fluffy cloud, leaning his head against your legs
now you're both exhausted, but leaning against your front door is no way to fall asleep, so with much grumbling you both drag yourselves up into your room and promptly collapse onto your bed with a collective groan. Legacy wearily curls himself around you, resting his head against your chest with a tired rumble as you settle in for sleep. you yawn, then he yawns, and you yawn again, a never-ending cycle until Legacy buries his face into your collarbone and lulls you into a peaceful sleep. he'll insist that you stay home the next day, sleeping late into the morning with him to make up for staying up so late, and when you accept you can see his wings flutter with utter joy <33
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#chit chat#anon#when he's excited Silly Mode activates and he starts zooming around#yeah your wooden floors are absolutely ruined#but that's okay you just put rugs over them#this is making me think of trimming legacy's claws oh my goodness#short scenario#other's stuff#good evening :)#second exam down... one more to go and i gotta wait till THURSDAY ARGH
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like I’ve been generally fine in my teenage years (no more unhappier than from the average dose of teen angst) but man do I miss the excitement I’d get from those fantasy Geronimo Stilton books
#like my worldview on life was so different then#Obv it was Pri school so it was more chill (I was arguably too chill and messed up my psle)#But you know what I’m actually so fine w that! I’m happy that at least in some point in my life studies weren’t hanging over my head#Like a guillotine#And I would find so much joy in the little things like hell yeah new book!!!#because a part of me feels like I’m never going to feel that undiluted childlike joy ever again#And I’ve killed myself so much on every exam since#baby me deserved to have a little happiness in her life#I still think 12 is way too young for the first major board exam#Esp one so heavily surrounded by stigmas/reputation/prestige of the school you get into#like you’re setting a child up for the rest of their life and they’re not even a teen yet#thankfully it’s gotten a lot better (in terms of tangible change in sg societys mindset)#but god was it brutal for me in 2018/2019#anyways trip down memory lane over heheh
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so it turns out it was actually never that serious
#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that#like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit#then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it#and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year#and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers#im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from#but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss#and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module#bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam#which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!!#oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE#just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3#im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks#so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine#and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN#im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory#alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out#i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds#is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say#hella goes to uni
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wip wednesday (thursday edition)
1. scene from slider one-shot that may/may-not get cut
2. ice/Mav flirting over “how good a technical demonstration ought to be when your adversaries are in attendance”
3. proposed edit insert scene for “debriefing” actually going into mavericks tour in bosnia
4. proposed edit insert scene for wwgattai ch 8, filling in those vacant yrs with postcards of airplanes & stupid shit
#note these are all really in progress wips#haven’t gotten the wording/pacing down right yet#one more final exam Friday then a couple big projects & then i have a month to work on fics#idk#fuck it we ball#top gun#top gun maverick#icemav#pete maverick mitchell#when we get around to talking about it#tom iceman kazansky#ron slider kerner#thinking about it and all these one shots/edits im writing#are literally just to make up for how poorly written the original wwgattai ch 8 was#just an absolute dearth of knowledge of how those emotional circumstances would play out#which i am now/have been exploring in all these new one-shots/edits#the post-rooster-papers-pulling situation is always so difficult to wrestle with#just no idea how it would go with these characters#anyway
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hmm.. want to edit smth 0909 related when i have the time....
#writing this down so that i won't forget#feel free to suggest songs!!#and now. i have to go and study for my latin exam (and my other chinese exam. the one that's more about speaking)#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]
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.
#personal#was gonna message today but then i DIDNT. IDK. IT DIDNT FEEL RIGHT. AND I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.#I KNEE THE TOPIC BUT LIKE. WORDING ?????? WORDS???? IT WOULDNT COME#its okay tho. its okay. i literally have a fuckin note on my phone where i put shid i can talk to him about in the future NDNNDNDJXJDJDJDMD#GOD LMAO. IVE NEVER PUT THIS MUCH EFFORT IN. IM SO......#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its mostly been me messaging first but like he keeps it going....... GOD LMAO#it was like that in person too tho. like we would just stand/walk n not say anything JDJDJFJKFKFJXMXMX GOD#i wasnt made for this oml. i dont even talk to ppl that much. like idk. iDK.#i just... 1. i dont want him to forget about me 2. i dont want him to think i forgot about him#3. i dont want him to think im not interested in talking to him anymore#ok 2 and 3 are basically the same but JDJDJDJDJDJDJDJD#IM SO BAD AT KEEPING IN TOUCH. LIKE THIS IS SUCH A CONSCIOUS EFFORT ON MY PART. LIKE. I HOPE HE REALIZES????#also like. id love if hed message me first. hes done it before. but there was more to talk about while the sem was still going. now its#like... ok we can talk about exams n grades but now its christmas so like ??????#and like. GOD. is it like... is it TOO MUCH??? to say merry xmas to him?????? or would it be normal?????#im just ???????#GOD. i want him to know i like him but i also uh.... DONT??????? IDK IDK#i also kinda wanna see if we can even be friends outside school. but like HHHHHHHHHH i cant take it. I WANNA SEE HIM XJFIRKRIRFDIODDKHDJZJZ#hhhhhh god pls dont let me be the only one feeling this way istg#im just !!!!!@@@ i never expected this to happen to me ok. but if its Reciprocated. like TRULY. i think i'll actually like. break down#crying JDJDJDJKDKDKDKDKDKX#like Happy tears. like.... Disbelieving tears. hhhhhhhh#but..... n e way. i got this far. and when ppl dont like you they avoid you or come up with excuses. but rather hes moving like Toward me.#like i couldnt have gotten this far without him like.... Participatjng#god its all so new and weird. i just#if youve never felt this way. you probably will one day and wont know what the fuck to do. its all just too weird#literally went from like screamin about sj to like. a guy in my class JDJZKDKKZZMZMZ its fjne. its ok#know hes Cute tho.#thats another thing. i never imagined i could like have someone so Cute.... god. i'll die if he likes me back. hes so so Cute. not my usual#type. like. physically i mean. personality wise hes typical of me NFNFJFJFMFDMDM n e way. hit the tag limit 😳
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I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
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I need to read more yuriiiii I have so many recommendations written down but if anyone has any they'd like to share please do so
#yuri#himejoshi#idk maybe that helps reach#i've only read like. two so far. yagakimi and kase-san. which i loved yagakimi is one of my favorite manga of all time but i need more#some i'm really looking forward to reading are otherside picnic. the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all. i'm in love with the#villainess. she likes to cook and she likes to eat. boyish girl x gyaru. boyish²#that's just off the top of my head the ones i'm really looking forward to reading i have even more written down but yeah#always looking for more recs#i want to be like those blogs that have 'lvl 5 himejoshi' and stuff on their bio i love it. i forgot what the specific levels meant though#cat rambles#i need to go on dynasty scans but i'm still dealing with exams and procrastination ;-;#i also have to finish reading all the manga i got for my birthday which was... a lot#i almost asked for bloom into you volumes for my birthday but it'd be hard to explain without having to come out
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only 6 more days for 12th grade to officially finish and my exams to be over. perhaps jaeyunverse comeback with a long fic ????? 😳
#first order of business will be to finish that damn jeno fic#then i will work on one of the valentine’s event fics who’s masterlist i posted Last Year 💀#i will prob make a poll for that bc idk which one to write 😭 i have 4k for the heeseung one but i’m STUCK#i have 4k for the halloween special fic i started in 2021 ummmmm maybe i’ll buckle down on it too#THE ALICE IN BORDERLAND AU???? i have the entire plot but it is going to be So Long i just know it.#i hope i can finish my current wips before any other long fic ideas come to me 😭#i have to finish the stupid headcanon series too what was i thinking when i started it#IM TERRIBLE AT HEADCANONS#fffff i only have a few weeks of peace after boards 😭 i have to start grinding for my other exam in june once april starts#i hope i can be more active on this account and actually get some writing done bc ngl i have sm plans for the small vacation i’m getting#but i wanna be delusional too 🫡#also i have so many unfinished projects here sometimes i feel like abandoning this account completely#and this place is lowkey dead in terms of activity ngl 💀 i will have try to revive it#but then i remember that i put effort into building this blog so seeing it go to waste would be sad#plus i Really do not want to repost my fics for a third time ppl will call me crazy
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my visited stations in 2023 (on the tube map, that is)
if you'll excuse the glare,
a visited station is one where I physically tapped out, had a look around, took photos, etc, not just one where I changed/passed through
line or network | visited/total | increase from 2022 (percentage points)
bakerloo | 13/25 (0.52) | -16pp
central | 17/49 (0.34) | -20.4pp
circle | 23/36 (0.64) | -11.1pp
district | 25/60 (0.42) | -25pp
H&C | 19/29 (0.66) | -6.9pp
jubilee | 12/27 (0.44) | -33.3pp
metropolitan | 9/34 (0.26) | -14.7pp
northern | 19/52 (0.37) | -44.1pp
piccadilly | 17/53 (0.32) | -20.7pp
victoria | 10/16 (0.63) | -37.5pp
W&C | 2/2 (1) | =
London Underground | 100/272 (0.37) | -26.1pp
DLR | 12/45 (0.27) | -31.1pp
elizabeth line | 16/31 (0.52) | +3.2pp
London Overground | 41/113 (0.36) | -10.1pp
trams | 4/39 (0.1) | -33.3pp
dangelway | 0/2 (0) | -100pp
bonus stats:
thameslink | 18/smth | =
entire map | 152 | down by 35% from 234
under the break is the 2022 map. I'm afraid the 2020 and 2021 maps aren't particularly interesting for obvious reasons
tagging @7-takes bc why not
bonus stat: since I've been keeping track (4 years) I've visited 192/272 different tube stations
#it's really weird how i did so much less travelling this year#the only line i visited more stations on this year was the elizabeth line and even that was just cos there was less of it in 2022 lol#other explanations i can think of:#i had much more exams this year#i might've simply forgotten to write them down when i visited them bc there were a couple that i knew i definitely visited this year but -#- hadn't written them down so i had to add them in#but also in 2022 i was going out of my way to tick off as many different ones as possible but this year i wasn't really thinking about it#london#tfl#transport#public transport#tube#the tube#london transport#trains#train stations#train spotting
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Everytime i pull an all nighter i tell myself it's fine it's nothing i haven't done before I'm an expert on sleep deprivation. and every single time i'm shocked that it's not actually fine
#like. rude#how dare my body let me down like this when i treat it with such love and kindness#no you don't get any sleep. here drink some more coffee. more coffee. more coffee. more cof#oh and no balanced diet you gotta live of the same food every single day until i say it's okay to move on#hey why are you shaking and having trouble doing the simplest tasks when we literally got 3 hours of sleep 25 hours ago#(*woke up from 3 hours of sleep)#alright I'm leaving for my horrible exam now#i won't keep almost falling asleep sitting up when I'm in uni#and i need to go through my study notes one more time and being in bed certainly doesn't help me staying concentrated#this will be fun#void screams
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