God, Jesus, or whatever God will relent I could use some attention right now. I have been carrying a lot of weight on my shoulders for more than two years and my heart is heavy. My body is fragile. My spirit is broken and my faith is questionable. I’m so lost right now there are so many things I need to figure out but I’m also trying not to break. I bend over backwards and I know my resiliency, but I don’t know how much more I can take.
I’m tired of waking up every morning wondering if my life is worth it or if it has meaning. I’m tired of contemplating the easy way out and I’m tired of fighting the constant urges for fighting for my life while I know other lives depend on me. 
Give me the strength and courage to find in myself that my life has meaning and that I am worth more than what I accept from other people.
Character development is challenging your own character to do shit you would never do as ‘The Doctor’ like David Tennant squaring off his Tardis as an option to ride the waves in becoming like ‘The Doctor’ in actual reality if he hated humanity too much cuz the Doctor realised that saving humanity means saving yourself so he’d try an find a way to emulate River Song’s energy by cutting in the square in the form of her own trauma, the 10th Doctor revitalised is Purple Man off Marvel
David Tennant as Purple Man in 10th Doctor become is ‘just don’t look at me’ cuz he’d try an find a way out of the box he put himself into to rescue River Song become by eliminating society in her shoes hence the Harbinger’s portal (imagination redux)
Imagination separated is humanity dead. Nothing new, more to complain about but a single day lost is all it takes to severely crush a heart, hence the Polarities at war (spiritual reflex but carnage on the heart in hell)