#one of my favorite albums ever I do not fucking CARE that it came out less than 24 hours ago

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

life is but a dream mood

[sourlove]

YANDERE ROCKSTAR HEADCANONS 🎸

TW: UNHEALTHY REALTIONSHIP, MENTIONS OF SUBSTANCES AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE, YANDERE THEMES

AN: Sorry for the wait, my darlings. enjoy <333

READ PART 1 HERE

Yandere!Rockstar who likes the way you look at him, like he hung the sun and the moon stars in the sky.

Yandere!Rockstar who has no choice but to take you along with the band, Jailbird, on tour. After all, what's an artist without his muse?

Yandere!Rockstar who never shows you off. He just doesn't anyone to get the opportunity to steal you away after all. You don't mind though. You're more than happy to play the role of his 'assistant' is that means you get to be close to your favorite musician.

Yandere!Rockstar who spoils you in private, fucking you into the mattress and leaving bruises that decorate your skin for days. He adores you, his little starlight, and whispers his love for you in the dead of the night.

Yandere!Rockstar who takes you out when the band is in a new city to new, interesting places. The two of you giggle together as you disguise him so you won't get mobbed by fans. It's risky, but it brings you closer.

Yandere!Rockstar who loves when you tell him how much you love him, and his music, and his body, like you worship him. It drives him crazy, the way you follow him around like you need him.

Yandere!Rockstar who rewards you when 'Y/N', becomes his most popular song yet. The band throws a small party when the numbers come in, and that night Axel kisses you in front of everyone for the first time. Everyone is cheering and laughing but the only one you care about looks at you, only you and tells you that he loves you.

"You're all I need, starlight. My little good luck charm."

Yandere!Rockstar who starts to be a little more open about your relationship. Now, he talks about his inspiration for 'Y/N' and it's connection to his first song, 'Starlight'. He talks about how he needed a single push with with both songs, the second push being you. He doesn't give all the details but it makes you feel warm inside. Axel had finally acknowledged you.

Yandere!Rockstar who no longer makes you pretend to be his assistant to avoid any questions. Now, he dresses you in designer clothes and everyone who knows you, knows you as Axel's girl, the Y/N.

Yandere!Rockstar who becomes even more famous all of a sudden, his music reaching corners of the world you would have never thought of. He can't take you everywhere anymore. It's too inconvenient, he says, to drag you all over the world. Just be a good girl and wait for him in the luxurious penthouse he bought you, okay?

Yandere!Rockstar who slowly starts getting more annoyed the more you ask him to come home. He's busier than he ever was before and has to get a new album ready while still on tour. You obviously don't know how difficult it is for him, since all you do is mope around all day and wait for him.

Yandere!Rockstar who buys a different house for himself when his tour eventually ends. It's just so the grand parties he throws don't bother your peace. But he spent so much time there it felt like he only came to your place when he wanted to change clothes and take a quick nap.

Yandere!Rockstar who buys you more clothes, more accessories and designer trash when you complain. How could you possibly want any more than this? The world is at your feet, you can have anything and everything you want. Everything, except him.

Yandere!Rockstar who didn't bat an eye when you left, too lost in the high of drugs and fame to care about his old girlfriend who was nothing like the models and celebrities he now had at his beck and call. Sure, you had a nice run, but all good things must come to an end, no? Lucky you, you even got a song named after you. You didn't feel so lucky. But you manage to pull yourself together and move on.

Yandere!Rockstar who starts to feel a bit off. He can't put his finger on it though. It bothers him when he gets to his penthouse and it's a mess from a party. It was never like that before. It used to smell like home cooking and fresh flowers. What changed?

Yandere!Rockstar who becomes restless. It's like he's constantly searching for something that used to be there, just in his peripheral, something he always had but never really noticed until it wasn't there anymore.

Yandere!Rockstar who can't write any more songs. It's like he can't string together a cohesive lyric anymore. His band, his manager, everyone gets frustrated with him because they don't understand. They don't understand that something is missing.

Yandere!Rockstar who feels so lonely. There's thousands of people who would give themselves to him if he so much as breathed in their direction. But no matter how much sex he has, how many fucked up, short lived relationships he enters, there's an empty void that nothing can fill.

Yandere!Rockstar who almost gives up. His music has no meaning now and he can't even mourn what would have been in the privacy of his own home. Because everyone, so oblivious to his turmoil, still wants to party with the star.

Yandere!Rockstar who, in a drunken tirade, turns to a model that keeps latching herself to him asks her what she thought of his music. She liked it all, of course. But what's your favorite song, he urges. She thinks for a while and finally mentions a popular song in one of his albums. It's good. A really good song. But Axel frowns and asks, what about Starlight?

Yandere!Rockstar who immediately remembers you. Sweet, loyal you. Because you would never scoff and dismiss Starlight as 'that cheesy song'. You knew how important it was. You were the first to hear the song and see it for what it really was, to see him for what he really was. Starlight, 'Y/N', every single song he had ever written was a love poem to you. The only problem with his new songs was that you were what was missing.

Yandere!Rockstar who got his manager to dig up your information, the woman would do anything to keep Jailbird up and running. Axel barely even thinks of the details or perhaps of what to say to you. All he wants is to see your face and for you to look at him like you always used to, like he was your everything.

Yandere!Rockstar who wanted, more than anything, to have you love him again. And this time, he swore he would never let you slip out of his grasp again.

FIND MY MASTERPOST AND ALL MY LINKS HERE

Please leave a like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed. It took me a while to get inspo so I really hope you guys liked this.

[anothermansjeans]

Bau team having to be at an award show for some reason and you win an award and make a speech:

Shout out to donatella versace for making this dress and to that pretty fbi agent whos taking it off of me tonight *winks*

Spencer: 🧍

Bau: 😲

(LIKE IMAGINE THIS BEING THEIR FIRST EVER MEETING LIKE... HE WOULD DIE)

OKAY SO I DIDNT HAVE THEM AT THE SHOW (im so sorry i will write them at an award show at some point this is just what came to my mind as i wrote) BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

cw: innuendos, pretty fluffy, spencer light (i'm sorry)

wc: 599

singer!reader masterlist

++

You were one hundred percent sure you were currently dreaming. Here you are, sitting in Crypto.com Arena in downtown Los Angeles, sitting at a small table with your manager, and your best friend, Katie. It was the night of the Grammys, and your album, favorite, was nominated for best pop vocal album. Never in your life did you imagine you'd be nominated, but here you were.

Early in the day, you had been very nervous regarding the whole thing. You were sitting in your hotel room with anxiety creeping up on you and Katie sat next to you and held your hands.

“Hey, it’s okay, you'll be okay!”

You let out a shaky laugh, “I don't know, K, I’m freaking out. I won't win– I shouldn't have even asked Spencer to be here. He came here to do nothing but sit in this hotel room and watch me not win.”

“Y/N, babe, he loves you and he doesn't care if you don't win. He was very happy to be here, even if he can’t be at the arena.” She sighed, giving you a knowing look, “now, shut the fuck up before he hears you speaking like this.”

You groaned and put your head in your hands. “I just don't want to feel like this.”

Her sigh was soft, and she gently rubbed your back, comforting you. “How about this,” she began, “I’ll give you a dare you have to do if you win. That way you'll be too worried about that and not on the whole Grammy thing.”

You gave her a skeptical look, “what dare?”

She gave an evil look and leaned into you. “Well you're wearing a one of a kind Donatella Versace,” you have an acknowledging hum, “and you're going to look hot as fuck,”

“Yes, and?”

“And if you win, you have to throw in a shoutout to Donatella and the man taking it off of you tonight.”

“Oh my God,” you smacked your hand over your mouth, concealing some of your giggles, “okay…”

And the rest of history. You sat through the ceremony, listening to the live performances and the other category winners, only holding your breath when they made it to yours.

“And the Grammy goes to…” Breathe in… breathe through… breathe deep… breathe out… “favorite, Y/N Y/L/N!”

And holy shit, you won.

You shakily looked over at Katie, who had the biggest grin, and even with her here, you wish Spencer could also be next to you as well, giving you a hug and kiss before encouraging you on stage. After the congratulations from the people around you, you walked up the stairs and over to the microphone, letting out a breath.

“Um, thank you so much, I- wow,” you laughed, looking down at the award in your hands, “thank you to my management, and my producers, and my best friend, and my muse for this album. And a huge thank you to the fans; without you I wouldn't be employed.” You gave another laugh, looking out to your friends and thinking of the man currently thinking of the man sitting on a hotel bed watching this speech. “Also…” a smirk was plastered on your face, “shoutout to Donatella Versace for making this dress, and the pretty FBI agent who's taking it off of me tonight!”

The crowd went crazy over it, and when you saw Spencer later that night, he was a blushing mess. It also helped that Penelope made sure to text you that everyone was watching and instantly had something to say to Spencer.

++

singer!reader taglist: @itsleilabxtch @wietske27 @taylorswiftilovecowboylikeme @marshatesthisreality @ladylincoln @delightfulmakerpiegiant @chericherrypie @punksnotdeadbutiam @stillhere197 @laddywitch @httpstoyosi @obi-wansgirl @amandareids @mynameiskelly

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!!

[corneliaavenue]

What is Billie saying about Taylor?

There have been a lot of little things over the years

In 2020, when Taylor won the Billboard Woman of the Decade, she talked about all of the new up and coming women in the industry and specifically highlighted Billie because she was winning Woman of the Year that year. First thing Billie says when its her turn, "Yalls speeches were long as fuck!" (note, Taylor's speech was 15 minutes and she does go on to talk nice about Taylor later in her speech)

In 2022, Damon Albarn shaded Taylor saying she didn't write all of her music while simultaneously cheering on Billie and Finneas for writing all of their music. Taylor clapped back in a tweet. Billie then invites Damon out later that year for her Coachella set, where Finneas was overheard saying "Taylor Swift is going to sue us"

In March of this year, Billie talks to Billboard about the act of releasing multiple variants and how wasteful it is. "We live in this day and age where, for some reason, it’s very important to some artists to make all sorts of different vinyl and packaging … which ups the sales and ups the numbers and gets them more money and gets them more" and "some of the biggest artists in the world making f–king 40 different vinyl packages that have a different unique thing just to get you to keep buying more. It’s so wasteful, and it’s irritating to me that we’re still at a point where you care that much about your numbers and you care that much about making money"

Billie's manager has been liking and even retweeting several Taylor hate tweets.

Billie talked about albums being too long on Zane Lowe, but she was talking about her previous album Happier Than Ever when discussing it, so I will only side eye. "I think for that one we just didn’t put that much into it. That’s why there’s 16 songs. Nobody needs that many songs"

Last night, Billie's interview with Stationhead came out where she said that "Doing a 3 hour show.. That's literally psychotic. Nobody wants that. You guys don't want that. I don't want that. I don't even want that as a fan. Even my favorite artists I'm not trying to hear them for 3 hours. That's far too long.

Billie now has multiple versions of her album to purchase including paint splattered, discounted on iTunes to $5, and physical copies discounted at Targets for somehone who thinks its wasteful to make multiple different vinyl packages and it is disingenuous to up her sales and numbers

[supraveng]

Trying to mend a broken heart

        Part Two

Part One

Summary: you and Bucky don’t get along, constantly pushing each others buttons, this time he may have pushed you too far

A/N: Non canon; Marvel characters but no superheroes or Avengers; post college AU…..I am focusing on angst for the first few chapters, I’ll decide if it changes to a happily ever after based on feedback

MAIN MASTERLIST

Word count:~1200

The next morning you woke up and decided you were not going to extend your pity party any further.  Today was going to be a day for you to be self indulgent and selfish as much as you wanted.  It would be the first weekend in a long time that you wouldn’t do a few hours of work at home just to stay on top of all the ongoing projects.  

The first thing needed to start your day was caffeine so you made your way downstairs, happy to see that none of last night's guests were crashing on the couch.  Once your coffee was brewed you put on your favorite Frank Sinatra album that reminded you of your dad and always put you in a good mood.

Deciding to pamper yourself more than your usual self care, you found your most expensive face mask and applied a thick coat to every inch of your face.   

Breakfast was needed, so you began pulling anything that looked good out of the fridge to figure out what you could make.   Before you could get started, there was a knock on the door, knowing you couldn’t ignore it, you answered the door without an embarrassment for being in your pjs or the state of your hair or face.  

The last person you expected or wanted to see was standing there when you opened.  Bucky looked shocked when he saw you, but you ignored it and just stared at him, expecting him to ask for Natasha or at least why he was here. 

 “Uh…hi” was the only thing that came out of his mouth.   

Were you still mad about last night? Yes.  Did you expect him to show up and apologize for the way he spoke to you?  No, but you hoped he would.  

Last night had been a low point for you, sure you had only been dating a few months, but you had hoped that this relationship would go somewhere with Jeffrey.  Then to have this dipshit belittle you like he did in front of everyone hurt more than you had anticipated.  

Deep down you had always hoped that there could be something between you and Bucky.  He was smart, funny, charming, loyal to his friends, and to top it all off, drop dead gorgeous, but his comments last night showed you what he really thought of you.  

It wasn’t playful teasing, like Natasha had tried to convince you through the years. It was mean and hurtful and completely intentional, so right now, him standing in front of you was a bit shocking, but you tried your best to not allow it to show on your face.  

“What are you doing here, Barnes?” you asked, hoping to move this painful interaction along.  

“Right, um, last night” he managed to stutter out.  Was he nervous?  Was he actually here to apologize?  

“I think I left my cell phone here.  I would have called or texted Nat….but I don’t have my phone”   is this a fucking joke?  You scoffed as you opened the door, stupid of you to assume this man had any respect for you at all. 

“I haven’t seen anything but take a look around”  He only nodded as he passed by you, heading into the living room.  

Having no interest in being in the same room, you headed back to the kitchen and started chopping veggies for your omelet.  Focusing on your food, you hadn’t realized that Bucky had entered the kitchen until he cleared his throat to get your attention. 

Staring at him standing there in front of you, you almost forgot the hurtful things he’s constantly throwing at you.  He’s just so handsome that you would probably dissolve on the floor if you didn’t hate him so much.  You scoffed at how you had previously revealed your attraction to him to your roommate in a drunken stupor.

~~~flashback  (2 months after meeting Bucky)~~~

Today was crazy but you tried your best to get through it without biting anyone's head off.  Being promoted to the head of your department was supposed to make your life easier, but you couldn't be more wrong.  

"All right, gorgeous, that's enough for today, let's go, I'm taking you to dinner." Looking up you see Tony Stark anxiously waiting for you in the doorway. 

"Hi handsome" you shook your head and tried to continue with your work only for him to proceed to annoy you into giving him attention.  

"Chop chop, I'm hungry" he started snooping around your desk without really even asking if you could leave now. 

"Thanks for the invite but I have a lot of work to do" you look at him trying to convince him to leave only to be more agitated by his presence.  

"It wasn't a request, Pepper is stuck in Chicago and if I go to dinner by myself, well we don't want to think what could happen.  And as your boss, cousin and favorite person alive, I insist you join me" he extended his arm to you and you couldn't help but laugh at him. 

 "Ok, you win.  Where are we going?" You asked while grabbing your things and taking his arm.   

Dinner with Tony was a blast, just watching people react and practically trip over themselves to impress thee Tony Stark was very entertaining.  

By the time he dropped you at home, it was later than usual and Natasha and Steve seemed to be waiting up for you in the living room.  "Oh thank goodness you are ok" Steve immediately pulled you into a hug.  

You couldn't help but laugh at his response, "I was at dinner, if you were so worried, you could have called" you booped his nose and laughed again at his response.  

"Are you drunk?  On a Tuesday night?"  That had set you over the edge and you laughed so hard you fell to the floor.  

Only responding with a "yep", popping the P for extra emphasis.  “Oh, and Tony gave me his VIP box at the Knicks game this weekend, so tell  everyone.  M’kay, I’m going to bed”  Heading up the stairs, Nat and Steve were following right behind you.   

“Here, sweetie, let me help you get ready for bed” Natasha was always worried about you when you drank too much, her motherly instincts kicking in to help you out.  

Steve watched from the doorway as Natasha went about helping you wash your face and brush your teeth, before speaking up.  “When you say everyone, does that include Bucky?” He wanted to see you both happy and knew you would be good together but didn’t want to push.  

Your face immediately had a dopey grin at the mention of Bucky, somehow forgetting how he played with your feelings the last time you were around each other. 

 “Oh definitely, he’s so handsome” you smiled at Steve before spitting the toothpaste in the sink.  Steve and Nat exchanged a look that you missed, but you continued to chat about all the positive traits Bucky seemed to possess, almost curious if he was even real.  

Steve left in the middle of your babbling to grab you water and aspirin, but you were curled in your bed snoozing by the time he returned, leaving the items on your nightstand for you to find in the morning.  

The rest of your week flew by, mostly because you were so excited about the basketball game that you were in a good mood about everything.  When the day of the game finally arrived you were bouncing off the walls, when Tony told you the car would pick up you and your gang an hour before tip off.  

That allowed you all to relax and start the celebrations before heading to the game.  You were on your 2nd cocktail when Steve arrived with Bucky in tow, you were a bit shocked, not remembering anything from your drunken ramblings earlier in the week, but put on a small smile and decided his presence was not going to hinder your good time.  

By the time you all made it to Madison Square Garden, your entire group had a very good buzz going and laughing about anything and everything that was happening.  

The VIP box Tony gave you was fully stocked with food and drinks, but at this point all you wanted to do was watch the game.  You perched yourself on the stool closest to the window to watch the action on the court, even though the game hadn’t started yet.  

Almost immediately the group broke out with the guys huddled together and the ladies hanging by you after everyone had a drink in hand.  Yelena was full of questions, so you did your best to explain the rules of the game, the rivalry between the Knicks and the Celtics, not really paying any attention to the rest of the group.  

Just after tip off the door to the suite opened and in walked Tony.  Most of your friends had met him, and knew your relationship with him was important to you, but most didn't understand the extent of it and that was fine with you.  Tony was your ride or die, he was 10 years older than you and as your only cousin but acted more like a big brother.   

You spent as much time together as you could but when his parents died and he was forced to grow up and run the company, nothing you could say seemed to help, but he knew that when it all got too much, you would be there for him, no matter what.

He comforted you when your mom passed away when you were 12 and was there for you when your dad started dating when you were 16.  But now, even as adults he kept a watchful eye on you, helping you find your way in the world after graduation, offering you a job immediately. 

A job which you turned down multiple times, as you were determined to make it on your own merit, until you had offers from several of Tony's competitors.  Only then deciding that you would rather work for him than against him. 

 And his continued admiration and constant spoiling you, like giving you the VIP box for you and your friends to watch your favorite basketball team.  You were a little surprised he made an appearance at the game but he was welcomed by everyone immediately.  

"Can you keep it down?  I'm trying to watch the game!" you sassed at him the moment he made his grand entrance.  He made his way over, wrapping you in a hug, and pretended to be interested in the game you were watching.  

Bucky was immediately star struck and watched the interaction without trying to make it obvious.  He didn't know you knew thee Tony Stark, and wasn't sure of the connection but tried his best to get more info out of Sam, as he was the only other person not engaged in conversation.

"So, what's the deal with Stark?" attempting to sound casual but a little to in shock to really concentrate on how he was behaving.  

"Huh?  Oh, Y/N works for him, he is always throwing stuff like this at her" Sam responded without taking his eyes off the game. 

"That's not normal for a boss" Bucky thought out loud still wondering what was going on. 

"Well that's how they act, I think he bought her house for her too" he shrugged then cheering at the play when the team rebounded the ball.  

That has stunned Bucky, there is no way you were just his employee.  There had to be more going on there and he wanted to know, his first thought was family, but he knew Tony was an only child. 

Maybe it was a sugar daddy thing, if thee Tony Stark was buying you a house. 

As Bucky slowly made his way closer to you until Tony noticed and turned to him.  

"You're new, I've never seen you before" Tony eyed Bucky before extending his hand. Bucky didn't react right away, you'd seen it before, how people would be in awe of the mere presence of thee Tony Stark, you found it ridiculous. 

"He's a friend of Steve's" you tell Tony without actually introducing them. At this point Bucky some what snapped out of his daze and shook his hand, introducing himself and immediately gushing on Tony's work on blah, blah, blah.  

You weren't in the mood to talk shop, you were here to have fun and watch the game. Half time had started so you finally pulled your eyes away from the game and refocused on the conversation the two were still having. 

"Well, now you have an in, just send your resume in with Y/N's name as your reference and there won't be any problem" Tony smiled from Bucky to you. 

 "Thank you, uh, I didn't know she had that much pull at Stark Industries" Bucky smirked at you as if he was making a joke, assuming you were some sort of assistant answering phone calls and fetching coffee.  

"What? Didn't you tell your friends about your promotion?  You are looking at the new head of Research and Devolvement" Tony looked like a proud father gushing on his kids report card.  Rolling your eyes at the comment you noticed the look of surprise on Bucky's face.  

"Yes, well, be that as it may, you are going to be late for dinner with your wife if you keeping gabbing" trying to push him out the door while grabbing another drink. "Shit, you are right! What would I do without you, gorgeous?" 

"Crash and burn?   Send the Mrs my love, handsome" he pulled you into a tight hug, kissing your cheek, and with that he was out the door.  

Bucky stood there for a moment, not sure how to continue the conversation without Tony there, but he would try.  

"Head of R&D for Stark, that's impressive" Bucky stated as he sat in the empty seat next to you.  

You eyed him, tempted to start a fight as to why he seemed surprised but decided against causing a scene, you just wanted to watch the game and have a good time with your friends, so the only thing your dumb brain could come up with a was "thanks" along with a forced smile.  

Trying to be friendly seemed way too difficult for you at the moment, but it was 1 night, you could make it through.  Looking at Bucky, you could tell he was expecting more so you took a deep breath and continued, 

"I've been there since I graduated, working hard to make my way up the corporate ladder, but Tony's a great boss, so it's worth it" you shrugged before accepting another drink from Yelena when she plopped down on the other side of you.  

The rest of the night the two of you chatted, nothing deep but you were nice and friendly with one another.  Maybe you could let him into your inner circle, if Steve and Natasha thought he was so great maybe you could try and tolerate him for their sake.

~~~~end flashback ~~~~

"Found it" he raised the phone in his hand.  You simply nodded and continued to cook your breakfast, not sparing him anymore attention.  

"Um, about last night" he started and you could feel yourself cringe at his comment. 

"Nope, we aren't going there" you shook your head and continued to ignore him.

 "Come on, I just want to" but you cut him off before he could finish.  

"I don't care what you want, and I don't give a damn about what you have to say" your cold glare made him take a step back.  Realizing how badly he had screwed up, he wasn't sure what to do next.  

"You know where the door is, you can let yourself out" you grabbed your food, passed him and headed to the living room to enjoy your breakfast.  

Bucky let out a breath before heading to the front door, closing it behind him as he dialed Steve’s number. 

"That didn't work" he grumbled into the phone before getting on his bike.  

"Ok pal, we'll figure this out" 

[undead-supernova]

HIGH TOLERANCE

Masterlist

important note: this is a one-off of my High Tolerance series! I suppose you could read this first, but I think reading the whole 5-part series first would be more fun hehehehe

plot: when a cute guy with curly hair asks you to be his best friend, how can you say no? how do you look away when your whole life has been altered by this one instance? In other words: This is how Eddie and Weirdo met.

pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

warnings: drinking, cigarettes, pure fluff

wc: 3.4k

additional note: this cover of Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" was a biiiiig help with tone and vibe hehe

         “And we'll have Halloween on Christmas.

         And in the night, we'll wish this never ends.

         We'll wish this never ends."

You swayed around in circles, careful not to let the microphone cord wrap around your block-heeled Mary Janes. The minimal drums and guitar kicked in, with the faded background vocals echoing I miss you. Your pleated black skirt swayed around you, following your lead.

This was your favorite Tuesday Karaoke genre, the emo and pop-punk throwbacks being your jackpot. It was a classic go-to for you, the meme-ification of the song riling you up even further. And you were going to prove it.

“WHERE ARE YOU?” you nearly screamed, too excited to get to your favorite part. You imitated Tom DeLonge’s voice, concentrating on getting it right. Maybe a little bit more than you should’ve, but— “AND I’M SO SORRY! I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight!”

You really thought that the meme of it all would bring the five drunks here together. That you’d earn at least a chuckle from someone other than the bartender. But maybe you’d miscalculated your audience. Because everyone was sitting, mainly ignoring you as they either talked to each other or stared at their phones.

But was that going to stop you? Fuck. No.

         “Don’t waste your time on me.

         You’re already the voice inside my head.”

“Woo!”

You glanced over at the voice to see some guy standing there. A very attractive some guy, with long curly hair and bangs. A tight t-shirt hidden by a leather jacket with…a denim vest over it? His hands were stuffed in his pockets, but that didn’t stop him from shimmying both his shoulders and swinging his hips around. Rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he danced. 

He was paying attention to you. Why was he of all people paying attention to you?

You couldn’t deny that you liked it, liked the way he moved no matter how stupid it looked. So, you decided to give him a show, pointing at him as you came in for another round.

         “Don’t waste your time on me.

         You’re already the voice inside my head.”

He pulled his hands out, cupping them around his mouth. His many silver rings and chain bracelets shone in the light, along with sparkly blue nails.

“Do ‘Freebird’!”

That made you laugh harder than you thought you’d ever laughed before, having to pull the mic away from your lips from the sheer volume that erupted from you. And above the sound of the music, you could hear his guffaw of laughter mixing with yours. 

When you looked back at him, a huge grin on your lips, you couldn’t help but feel something tingle in your stomach. Like a small fizzle, something resembling a firework that sputtered out almost immediately after being ignited.

         “I miss you."

You replaced the mic back on its stand before stepping down from that shitty excuse for a stage. Immediately, you were face-to-face with this pretty guy.

“Hello, it’s amazing to meet you,” he said.

You smiled. “Likewise. Thanks for being my biggest fan.” Gesturing around the nearly empty bar, you added, “Tough crowd tonight.”

“Oh, I gotta get your album autographed. And your mixtape. And the collector’s edition.”

“Oh my god.” You giggled as you shook your head. “You’re too kind.”

You introduced yourself, desperate to put a name to his face.

“I’m Eddie,” he said, sticking his hand out for a handshake. You took it without thought, his palm sticking to yours with a bit of sweat. “You’re not gonna sing ‘Freebird’?”

“I don’t think she’s singing it, dude,” another voice said lightheartedly behind you. 

You dropped your hand from Eddie’s nearly immediately, absolutely embarrassed for reasons you couldn’t understand.

As you turned, you saw another guy there, with silky honey hair and warm brown eyes, rocking a post-work look. Popped white button-down, navy slacks with shiny mahogany loafers that clanked against the floor when he walked. 

His hands were resting on his hips, showing off a nice watch. One lifted, extending toward you. “I’m Steve.” 

Taking it, you noticed that you weren’t as affected by his touch. Maybe it was because his hand wasn’t sweaty. 

As you introduced yourself, you were almost trampled by a very cute girl.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said with a harsh breath, arm slung around Steve. “Jeez, they really made me grovel to get off on time and the traffic is hell. Maybe we should go back to—” She noticed you then, straightening her posture. Her hairstyle could barely be considered a ponytail from the way half of her short hair had spilled out. A black button-down now unbuttoned, hanging down her sides with a black tank top underneath. Paired with black jeans and an array of thin rings. God, she was cute. “Hello, new friend. I’m Robin.”

“Hi Robin, I’m new friend.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but Steve took over the conversation, asking her about her shift. 

You tried to pay attention, but it was brought back to Eddie when he asked, “Can we be best friends?”

You let out a small laugh before nodding. “It’s a done deal,” you responded, earning a high-five. 

“Wanna come hang with us?” he asked, pointing his thumb at Steve following Robin to a small table in the back. When had they decided that?

Looking back at Eddie, you weighed your options. You could continue to sit by yourself, reading a book in a bar and listening to them have fun; laugh. Could let yourself wonder what they were talking about. Could take the easy way out, could walk out of there right now and leave yourself wondering what could’ve been with someone like Eddie. 

But that wasn’t really the easy route.

And you wanted to take the easy route.

“How could I refuse?”

“So why’re y’all out tonight of all nights?” you asked, placing a napkin under your vodka Redbull to fiddle with something.

Eddie was looking at you, sitting on the opposite side of the table, holding your eye contact in a way that was making you nervous. Because he was lifting his glass to his lips and right on those pretty lips of his was the softest smirk you’d ever seen. And there his dimples were, deepening as he took a sip.

“We’re celebrating,” Robin said, smiling at you.

You turned your attention back to the conversation at hand, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

Steve nodded. “We moved here five months ago today.”

“Hell fucking yeah we did!” Eddie exclaimed, raising his glass before clinking it with Steve and Robin’s. You were surprised when he faced you, gesturing towards your drink.

As you lightly tapped your drink to his, you couldn’t help but notice the way he was looking at you now. Like you were already something to him.

“Well, congratulations,” you said, still making eye contact. “Do y’all like it here?”

“It’s pretty different from the world we’re from,” Eddie said with a nod.

“Feels very, uh,” Steve stumbled, snapping his fingers. “Can’t think of it…”

“Upside down?” Robin offered.

Snap. “Yes, that. Exactly. Upside down,” Steve said, pointing at her.

“What about you?” Eddie asked.

Your eyes widened. “Me?” All three nodded. “Oh, I’m from Tennessee. I came here for college and then ended up staying.”

Eddie nodded along as you spoke. “You like it here?”

“Yeah, I actually do,” you said. “It’s the first place that’s started to feel like home.’”

Steve smiled. “I hope we all start feeling that way.”

“Oh, I think I’m already there,” Eddie said, shamelessly holding your stare as he lifted his drink back up to his lips again. It was soft, sweet—something that he wasn’t currently sharing with the other two.

No, it was just you.

God, he was hot.

When you looked back at Steve and Robin, you noticed Robin tilting her head at you, like she was observing you or something. Watching you. Studying you. Whatever the right word for it was, she was doing it.

“Rob, we should get up there,” Steve said, nudging her.

She returned his nudge with a more forceful one. “And sing what, dingus?”

“‘Livin’ on a Prayer’!” Steve exclaimed.

“Are you kidding me?” Robin asked. “I’m not singing ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’.”

“Woah-oh, we’re halfway there!” Steve shouted.

“Wo-ah, we’re livin’ on a prayer!” Robin shouted back.

You and Eddie were sitting at the bar, laughing as you watched the two go back and forth. It had started as a field trip to get another drink and then ended with you sitting on the stools. Eddie had followed your lead wordlessly.

“They’re incredible,” you said and really meant it. How they convinced Craig to let them sing a song outside of the theme was astonishing. Maybe Steve gave him heart eyes. Craig was such a sucker for a pretty face.

“I have not seen Robin this drunk in a while,” Eddie commented. “She’s something else.”

“Are you gonna sing?” you asked, turning your attention back to him.

He chuckled. “No, maybe next time.”

“Not a singer?”

“I am, actually,” he replied with that special smile he’d given you earlier. “I just convinced my bandmates to move down here after they graduate back home.”

“Oh, that’s really cool! What’s the name?”

“Corroded Coffin.”

“Metal?” you questioned.

“How’d you guess?”

You shrugged. “A hunch.” 

That is the most metal band name I’ve ever heard, you thought to yourself.

“You listen to metal?”

Laughing, you pointed at your outfit. “Clearly.”

His eyes seemed to spark up. “Really?” 

“You make that seem like it’s such a big deal,” you said. “Or are you one of those guys that’s all ‘Women don’t even know real music. Name six of their albums.’”

Eddie took a sip of his whiskey, all the while shaking his head. “Nah, I think those guys are assholes. It’s not like women aren’t making the same music about more important shit anyways.” 

“Correct answer,” you said, pointing at him before taking another swig of your drink.

He shrugged, scratching the top of his head. “I think it’s wild just ‘cause I come from a small town where the mere idea of liking that genre is, like, unheard of.”

You snorted. “Where are you from?”

“Hawkins, Indiana.”

“That sounds fake, I’m so sorry.” He laughed. “But, to be fair, I don’t know much about Indiana.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Fuck, I wouldn’t wish it on you, either.”

“Well, consider yourself lucky. There’s lots of people in Atlanta who like metal. But beware of the weird Republican-looking guys who listen to butt rock. Oh, and the skinheads. I made that mistake once and I’ll never be the same.”

“Seriously?”

Trying to get the flashback out of your head, you stated plainly, “You’d be surprised how easy it is to think you’re around like-minded people before you realize where you are.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Was it like Green Room?”

“Kinda, just with less death,” you said before pausing. “Or maybe I didn’t stay around long enough to find out.”

“Shit. Makes sense,” he said. “So, are you waiting for someone? A boyfriend…or girlfriend? Partner?” Eddie sighed when you laughed, putting a hand over his face before waving it around. “I’m sorry, I’m not used to being in a cool place like this. I don’t know why I thought anyone would be straight here, least of all you.” 

You started laughing harder as he gestured to your outfit. With your skirt and Mary Jane’s, you had a simple black crop top on and spike bracelets. Almost as many rings as him. A simple tattoo choker. You were a blatant neon sign with GAY written in cursive and an arrow flashing at you.

“No, it’s alright. I’m a raging semi-goth bisexual.”

“No way, same here just with metal. And my buddy Steve is bi, too.”

The two of you looked over at Steve who was doing some variation of a hip thrust and pretending to play the guitar at the same time. 

“Is he dating your other friend? They seem close.”

Robin whipped her head around as she pretended to play the drums before her head collided with Steve’s and they paused to have a bickering match.

“Robin? Nah. They’re kinda a package deal but they’re platonic with a capital P, as she likes to say. And she’s only into girls.”

“Right, of course.” Some part of you felt an itch that you couldn’t help but scratch. “Uh, are you dating Steve?”

That made Eddie cackle so loudly that even Steve and Robin looked over.

“No, absolutely not,” he finally said. “I’m not dating anyone, least of all Steve.”

You let out a hum. “A gaggle of queers.”

“Got your own gaggle of queers, then?” 

You shook your head, watching his smile fall. “Lost all my friends a few months ago,” you explained. “Some my fault, others not.” 

You couldn’t help but shrug, trying not to go back to all the shit talking and the fights and the blocking and the tears and the loss. The late nights wondering how you were so blind to the manipulation. The games. The accusations you made against the innocent. The moment you fell to the ground when you realized that you were just the pawn in a game made to humiliate someone else. Someone you considered a close friend. 

You’d burned your bridges with the assailants but lost your best friend in the end.

Senior year of college was not what you’d expected it to be.

“Sometimes you trust the wrong people and end up hurting the right ones. Either way, you get burned from a flaming double-edged sword. And then you graduate all alone.”

“That sucks,” Eddie said, his tone changing. “I hate that that happened to you.” He paused, giving you a glance before putting his shoulders back and pretending to wield a sword. “Fear not!” he said in a low voice. “For I am here to lead you from the realm of darkness and into the world of victory!”

You giggled, shaking your head before clearing your throat. Mimicking his posture, you said, “I would be more than honored, my lord!”

As you fell into fits of laughter, your smile fell. “Sorry, I don’t mean to dump all that on you. Sometimes I just have no filter and—” 

“No,” he interrupted. “I don’t either. It’s alright. I kinda like talking to you about—”

“Hey, Eddie,” Steve said, approaching you two. “Rob and I are thinking of heading out. Are you coming?”

You watched Eddie’s eyes flicker from Steve to you before he shook his head. “Nah, I think I’m gonna stay out for a little longer.”

For some reason, that made you feel all bubbly inside.

Despite hiding your smile, you caught Robin’s eyes on you again, eyebrows raised at you with some kind of crooked smile on her face. 

“Have fun,” she said, glancing between you and Eddie before taking Steve’s arm and dragging him out of the bar.

When the door shut behind them, you turned back to face Eddie.

“You’re staying,” you stated with a playful tone.

“Uh, yeah. I’m talking to my new best friend.”

“You’re telling me that the only time you watched Lord of the Rings was at the beach?” Eddie looked at you like you were crazy, causing you to giggle. “What about the beach says, Let’s go to Mordor, shall we?”

“Listen!” you exclaimed. “My mom and my sister would go to a DVD rental place by one of the grocery stores. Well, then Redbox after video stores closed. But, anyways, every year they had Lord of the Rings on display first. So, they decided that that was that.”

Walking side by side, you and Eddie headed to your cars, sharing the last cigarette in his pack. The bar had closed, the first time you’d ever been kicked out of one. But you and Eddie weren’t done talking.

“And those were the only movies you watched?”

You shrugged. “Basically. Unless you count the time I rented Saw and nearly shat my pants.”

Eddie paused at his car, a rather creepy looking van, looking like he was considering something before he ran around the car. Without any hesitation, you tried to beat him to the other side. But he faked you out, coming back around and scaring you.

“I’d like to play a game,” he growled. You squealed involuntarily, jumping back to escape him. But he continued to chase you around his van. “What’s your name?”

You smirked, surprising him by turning around and pushing him back. “My name is Very Fucking Confused, what’s your name!”

Giggles spilled from your lips, colliding with his in some kind of harmony. It was so natural, the way you fell into tandem with one another. The way you were leaning into one another already, laughter mixing with labored breaths as you tried to catch them.

You couldn’t believe just how easy it was with Eddie, especially after months and months of loneliness. There was a part of you that had given up on any form of friendship. A little voice that told you that no one would be willing to listen when you spoke. No one who could be as goofy as you were. Readily give back what you put out.

And it was something that you really hoped you wouldn’t lose.

“This was really fun,” you said. “You’re really cool.” Before you sounded stupid, you added, “Y’all seem really fun.”

Eddie held a soft smile, reaching his hand out to you. “Here, give me your phone. I’ll give you my number.” You handed it over without any protest. “Let’s hang out in the next few weeks.”

“I’d love that.”

Your smile was slipping. That was just something people said. Nothing ever followed through and you knew that all too well. Any date you tried to go on. Any new interaction with coworkers in passing. Anyone you casually talked to at Go Ask Mary. 

“What about next Thursday?” he asked, handing your phone back to you. “Are you free?”

A smile made its way to your face as you stared in shock. “Yeah, I have that day off.”

“Same. I’ll jot it down in my calendar,” he responded with a growing smile before unlocking the door and jumping into his van.

“Welcome to Atlanta, Eddie,” you said, looking up at him.

Leaning down, he gave you a final handshake. You took it, noticing that it was a lot less sweaty than before.

“I’m really starting to like it here,” he said. 

And you gazed at each other for a moment, continuing to hold each other’s palms, a special look in your eyes that was reserved for each other. Like this look was going to be a continual thing. Like this was just the start of something. You just couldn’t figure out what exactly that something was.

Then Eddie seemingly flinched, pulling his hand away.

“Thanks for being my new best friend,” he said finally, scratching his cheek before placing it back on the steering wheel.

A lump in your throat formed as you took a step back. Put your hands together behind your back. Squeezed for some kind of comfort to satiate the ache in your palm.

“Thanks for asking,” you replied.

“See you next Thursday?”

“See you next Thursday.”

He shut his door then, leaving you to turn on your heels to trudge towards your own. You noticed that he waited to back out until you got in your car, giving you a wave before driving off.

And you watched his van go, taking him farther away from you. Though you knew you’d see him again in just a week, you really wished it had been now. 

Maybe you should’ve known then, should’ve understood what that was going to mean in the future. But hindsight is 20/20 and you’ve never been sure what that even meant. Perhaps it would’ve saved you a lot of distress. A lot of jealousy. A lot of insecurity. If things had transpired differently, maybe you could’ve avoided everything that came to fruition.

But instead, you drove home. Picked out your clothes for work the next day. Brushed your teeth. Got into bed. Turned some YouTube video on. Let the darkness fill your room. All the normal parts of your routine. 

Except for the buzz of your phone, a sound that you were still startled by after months of near silence.

It was from Eddie.

can’t wait for next week!

With a smile and droopy eyes, you sent a reply.

Me neither.

[brynhildr13]

About the GazettE.

TL;DR I had recent experiences that reinforce my belief that Reita REALLY is still with me and with all of us. Even if they can be easily explained as coincidental. Please if you want, share something that has been helpful to heal. Take care. Gazerock is not dead. Gazerock never dies.

Full post under cut.

I consider myself spiritual, but not really religious. But let me take you through my last few days, if you so care. Its important to me and I want to share this in hopes that the others in this Fandom know that I share the pain and want to spread my own love and solace and peaceful mourning.

I took an hour drive to my twin sister's to have our birthday hangout on Wednesday. I had the GazettE on plus other vkei groups on shuffle, but I kept skipping most of the other groups trying to find the GazettE songs. A few came on and even with the heavy and rock and headbanging songs I was just sobbing. To the point where I told myself, "you have to keep your eyes open. You need to watch the road." But the TEARS were plenty and heavy. I also started to judge myself a little. Wondering why I was SO emotional.

Then I had one of those intuitive downloads where like, you know it didn't come from your own brain and then after you hear it your mind expands. I don't know who's voice it was. I couldn't repeat it if I tried. But it said, quote "but feeling is healing."

And I lost it all over. Because I knew it was right and I needed to sit with the feelings. So I let myself cry as much as I could.

And then, To Dazzling Darkness came on.

My favorite song. Well, one of them. The whole Beautiful Deformity album is iconic, but that song specifically is one of my favorites BECAUSE of Reita's bass part. (Plus my twin sister, with her music degree, thinks the song is well written and can back up why and that means a lot to me that my sister who isn't the most into heavy metal or knows the group near as well as I do likes THEIR songs BECAUSE they're good).

And after that I laughed a little and wiped my eyes and said, "ok. I get it. It has to mean you're here right now. Thank you."

Maybe it came from Reita. I'd like to think so.

Had tons of fun with my sister. Come home. Worked Thursday. That night i shed a tear or two as i watched a few music videos in bed. And i just said outloud and in my head. "As long as he's okay. I'd like a sign that he's okay, please." And i fell asleep. Fast forward to today.

Today's our birthday. I planned to grab my free trenta from Starbies cuz $0 is the only amount I'll pay there unless I'm desperate. When I got to the screen in the drive thru, i meant to order 2 cake pops for my treat. Cuz fuck it. Im desperate. I'm a sad bitch and I want cake. It's my birthday. But I have anxiety and panicked and ended up asking for them at the drive thru window instead.

And they gave me the pops and I waited to hand them my card and after a few seconds she came back up and said, "oh don't worry about them today. No charge." Once I was sure they didn't want my money I thanked them profusely.

And I drove away. And I smiled from inside. Cuz I'd like to think that that was my sign he's okay. Maybe he pulled some strings to make me smile and to say, with that grin on his face, "don't worry about me. I'm here. I'll be here. Have a cake pop you sad bitch."

I meant it when I said before his spirit is here.. there's truly a feeling of the hole in my heart filling a little. I feel like emotionally and spiritually he's here in my peripheral stronger than ever before. Especially because I had become more of a backseat fan that would slink out of the woodwork when they had new content. My "obsession" (hyperfixation) died down a lot after saw them in 2016 and 2019, and I shared my gift of art and they shared their gift of music. But that love and adoration never ever left regardless of how often I talked about it and showed it. Or didn't. Cuz NO ONE else in my every day immediate circle knows anything about them.

Cuz here's the thing, and this is just me, too. I don't have any better way or words to string together to say this other than this way. I KNOW that they don't "know me". Like , I'm not missing the physical presence like they are. I didn't sit with him every day talking about all the most common shared passionate things we're doing, etc. Etc. So I can argue for myself that because of that the burden is likely to not be as heavy as any of theirs. But music and the arts connects hearts and minds beyond the physical. And for me listening to the music keeps him close, and I almost think that I can Feel him when I hear it. I can imagine him putting a hand on my shoulder (with his endearingly weird thumbs, they always made me giggle.)

Idk I think Im getting a little off track. Long story short, he was physically here with me when he was at the shows. When he wasn't he was still there, off across the world, doing his thing. and while I knew that like in an unconscious way, i never really sat with that to be like "what are they doing right this moment" or that i could energetically feel them all at any time, you know? And I remember getting upset with myself cuz my first coherent thought after I metaphorically picked my stomach off the ground after it fell out of my butt was "well, it HAS to be ok cuz the world's still gonna turn." And that felt horrible to say. And that's not fair to me or to anyone who needs time to process this. I mean, YA, I GUESS, it WILL. But once again. This WILL still hurt for a while. And that's okay. That doesn't mean i have to "get over" it right away either. Cuz once again. The physical loss isn't felt (yet) or as heavy as the bandmen will feel. But I will feel. And my feelings are my truth. And i can argue the band itself will have worse grieving till the sun dies, and that still doesn't mean my feelings are literally less than for my own personal experience. And thats okay.

But getting back to the point of this, thinking and believing Reita's making his way to us, I now just have this new vibration around me that I know is spiritual in nature and it is energizing the room, especially when I play their music. He's here.

I keep thinking about The Haunting of Hill House and Nell's words in the last episode. And I don't want that to ever fade. I'm determined to keep him strong in my heart and my mind. Just like ruki said he and the guys would.

Anyways, I hope yall are feeling as okay as you can. I hope this may touch someone and bring more healing. Free to share things in the comments if you want, too.

[jqhotchner]

midnight sky

what you were doing was absolutely insane! you just met the man not even twenty four hours ago. but the connection the two of you had was incredible, almost like you were made for each other. maybe you were.

the day started off like every other morning. you groaned as your alarm clock went off, got out of bed, took a quick shower, brushed your teeth, and finally made it down town to your favorite local coffee shop.

you ordered a basic coffee and a pastry before sitting in your normal spot, far in the back. you took your laptop out of your bag and began grading papers, groaning and rolling your eyes at the students who didn’t turn in a paper yet.

after about thirty minutes you heard commotion outside. normally you’d ignore it. it’s new york city after all, it was always filled with nosy people. today was different! flashes came from the window, almost blinding you more than the sun.

you heard people screaming as if someone fell and died. you looked up and saw the paparazzi outside. frowning, you grabbed your things and headed for the door.

“shit! im sorry, love!”

groaning at your coffee spilling on the ground, you were ready to yell at whoever this pretentious actor or whatever he was! not caring if the media and his fans tore you a new one.

“watch where you—”

you couldn’t even finish your sentence. he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. from his buzzed hair cut, beautiful brown eyes, tattooed neck, and his attire. he was the most attractive man you’ve ever seen.

“are you alright, babe?” even his accent was perfect.

“uh—yeah—yeah! im sorry.”

he chuckles, “it’s my fault, really.”

you were frozen. completely mesmerized by this beautiful man in front of you. your heart skipped a beat.

“it’s fine—um, i should get going.” you began walking away, pushing through the loads of paps. you needed to get far away so you could get that man out of your mind.

unfortunately the moment you got home you looked him up. you needed to know who he was and where he was from. you searched the location of the coffee shop and found tmz reporting the images.

“zayn malik. fuck, even his name is perfect!” you dived into everything zayn malik and began to sigh. soon you find his instagram, noticing he only had a few post. you assumed he deleted his old post due to him starting a new era for his next album.

biting your lip you sigh as you close your eyes processing. god, where you an idiot for even thinking about messaging him. maybe? you knew he probably got thousands of messages everyday, but it was something about him. you click on his profile, clicked on message, and began typing.

‘hi..god, you probably won’t see this, most likely won’t even open it, won’t bat an eye, but i thought i should text you. i guess im intrigued you could say.’

you wait patiently until you heard your phone vibrate. you had never picked up your phone so quickly. you smiled hugely when you saw it was him that sent you a message.

‘hey! normally i don’t open this app unless im posting something about me music or a selfie. coffee shop girl, right?’

smiling, you typed,

‘yeah! sorry about spilling that coffee by the way. im normally not that clumsy.’

‘haha!’

‘it’s cool, babe. got a three year old! use to clumsy.’

‘oh? didn’t noticed you had a kid. gonna be honest, i kinda went on a bit of a stalker session finding you.’

‘really? that’s cute!’

‘yeah! got a daughter. she’s the sweetest thing even!’

‘i love kids! i always wanted to teach kids instead of middle schoolers. kids love the color and draw. middle schoolers love to gossip and fight.’

‘ha! not ready for that at all!’

‘you’re a teacher, huh? that was my career path before i became a musician.’

‘i enjoy teaching! wanted to since i could remember!’

‘you guys are doing great work! deserve a pay raise!!’

‘tell that to the us government. 😩’

‘fuck them all!!!’

‘agreed!’

‘how bout i meet you up for a coffee? promise, no paps this time?’

‘right now?’

‘yeah…is that okay, babe?’

‘yeah—yeah! ill be there in twenty.’

‘cool! see you soon ;)’

you never got ready so fast in your life. heading downstairs from your building and walking a few blocks to the coffee shop, you spot zero paps and zayn sitting inside your booth. you smile before walking into the building. when he spots you, he smiles at you, stands up, and gives you a hug.

“hey.”

“hi.” you sit in the seat right across from him.

“never got your name. your instagram account doesn’t give it away.”

you blush. you created your instagram when you were in middle school. being overly obsessed with harry potter as a kid and extremely dorky, you had to go with ‘voldedork_hp,’

you never got around to changing it. now you regret that decision one hundred percent. “im sorry about that. a little embarrassed.”

“don’t be! it’s cute. im a huge harry potter fan myself. i went as voldemort last halloween as a mater-of-fact.”

“my names yn.”

“it’s nice to meet you yn. you have a lovely name by the way.”

you snort. feeling like your name was completely bland compared to his!

“may i ask where you’re from? your accent, it’s pretty thick, even for someone born in the uk.”

zayn chuckles. “yeah! m’from bradford england. my pops is pakistani so my accent comes out a little bit stronger i guess. what about you? you don’t sound like a new yorker.” he takes a sip of his coffee.

“im not! born and raised in texas actually.”

“texas, huh? you’re a little way from home, yeah?”

“i got a full scholarship for new york university! i couldn’t pass on that opportunity.”

“brains and beauty, huh?”

you blush. he was definitely a flirt! the two of you got to know one another for the next four hours. you both lost track of time. zayn phone blows up and he continues to ignore it. enjoying his time getting to know the pretty woman across from him. you were loving the company and conversation. it felt like you knew each other for the longest time. you were both laughing and listening to each other tell some crazy story. it felt right.

“how about we get out of this coffee shop, yeah? maybe walk around new york? i promise, no paps. i know places they’ll never go.” he winks at you. you nod before getting out of the booth. zayn grabs your hand and interlocks your fingers.

you were surprised but you didn’t object or pull away. zayn paid for his coffee, leaving a generous tip before leaving. you walk hand and hand around new york, enjoying each other’s company. you continued to talk about everything. the two of you got along so well, you felt crazy for already falling for him. you just met the man! how could you already have such strong feelings for the musician? were you seriously losing your mind? you just couldn’t help how you felt though.

zayn felt the same way. it’s why, standing in front of a courthouse, holding your hand as the moonlight shines, he got the craziest idea. he stops, looks you in the eye, and caresses your cheek. “may i kiss you, babe?”

you blushed, nodding nonetheless. when his lips touched yours, you felt the whole world stopped. god, how could such a beautiful man be this perfect? when he pulls away he grabs your hand and runs across the street. it was like faith, standing in front of a kay jewelers and a bridal shop. you laugh as he looks at you with the biggest grin on his face.

“what?”

“this is gonna be the craziest thing ive ever done or said but, i just—i feel like ive known you for the longest time. you’re beautiful, funny, smart, and amazing. i—i feel like we’re meant to be, meant to meet each other. and you, god maybe this is insane! you can totally say no, kick my ass, slap me, whatever you want, but this is just perfect. it’s almost like faith,”

“what is it?” you asked nervously.

“a jeweler, a bridal shop, and a courthouse right across the street. maybe this is the universe telling us to just go for it. let’s get married.”

normally if a man had asked you this you’d laugh in his face. you’d think he was absolutely insane for even suggesting this idea. but seeing all the key details, it’s like a story from a fairytale! who were you to pass up a fairytale story?

“okay!”

“yeah?”

you nod your head. zayn kisses you passionately before calling up taryn to be a witness! once he convinced her, he grabs your hand, head into the jewelry parlor, the two of you pick your rings before going to the bridal shop and grabbing the most gorgeous dress and a suit, before heading across the street to officially get married.

“are we doing this, forreal?”

“yeah, yeah we are! let’s get married, baby!”

and before you know it, you become misses malik. a true fairytale.

i really hope you all like this fic! it’s not enough zayn fics out there and i need people to make some!

what do you think?

if you wanna be added to taglist please don’t hesitate to ask!!!

[bunnihearted]

tired of spending my life all alone. i do everything alone im always alone. i still do all of those things i want and should, but the heaviness of being lonely is always there, souring everything. there are things i want to do, go for walks, have picnics, go to the movies, go to cafés/museums/libraries/amusement parks/animal parks, sit by the ocean, listen to music, watch shows, and so on and so on. but i dont want to do it alone. "learn how to be alone" im always alone im always lonely i know how to. i am doing it every day, day by day. i just dont want to. for me, there is no point or reason to do any of it all alone. because the loneliness is the only thing i ever think of. no matter how much "mindfulness" i practice or how much i try to enjoy the peace or what-the-fuck-ever. always doing everything alone, always existing being lonely makes everything x1000 darker x1000 more dreadful. sure, i can sit by the lake and listen to the water and feel the breeze against my face and look at all the cute birds, but i can only feel around 30% of the amazement in it, because being lonely for so long everyday all day has killed my heart and i simply can barely feel anything anymore. i dont care if the sunset is pretty and i get to see it, because im still alone as i watch the people walk by me hold hands. i dont care if my favorite artist's new album is good, because my heart can barely feel anything other than envy as i see two friends sit on a blanket in the park and drink wine and laugh. i dont care. i cant find joy in anything anymore because all i think about constantly.. is how im a person who is fundamentally wrong. i cant even imagine someone wanting to hold my hand. all i can see is accidentally brushing against someone and have them snatch their hand out of my reach. i saw two friends today, as they were gonna cross the road and a car came, one of them grabbed the other's waist and pulled her back. im a being that is absolutely repulsive and i wanted to cry because i cant even imagine having a friend wanting to not be at least arm length away from me. i wanna cry because the new joker movie is coming out soon, and there is no one for me to go with. i know i can do things alone. i just dont care to. i dont want to live my life alone. being a human that doesnt have any connections with anyone around them and to not be liked enough or chosen to spend time with and be close to makes me feel subhuman. not even my own family wants to spend time with me. that says it all.

[iguana-eyanna]

Bring Me Inner Peace

Summary: You come back home and sense that something's wrong as Lewis is trying to make a dinner

A/N: based on the song Pointless by Lewey himself. Mentions of kitchen mishap

You came home with bags of groceries. You've been meaning to fill the fridge with food but you and Lewis both had busy schedules. But you made sure to stock it fully as tonight was your first anniversary.

"Baby, you around?" You ask out loud.

You saw his car in the driveway, hoping you'd see him on the couch watching his favorite raunchy tv show. You get worried momentarily as you can't see him around.

"FUCK!" Lewis screams out loud. Hearing him from the kitchen, you dropped the bags of food and were almost taken back at the scene.

The kitchen is a bit messy with disregarded dishes and pans of almost charred food and chopped vegetables. Lewis was standing with his face scrunched up in pain, flicking his hand in the air as it looked like he burned it.

He looks up at you, feeling flushed and embarrassed as he tried hiding his hand.

"Love, you weren't supposed to come till an hour from now." He asks.

"I got to leave early and decided to get some food. What happened?" You ask as you reach for his hand as he slightly whimpered

"I- I tried making dinner but the recipe, I kept messing up and I accidentally burned myself. I tried to make your favorite... you know, the one dish we went in France when you visited me on tour? I tried to make tonight perfect, I-" Lewis tries to finish his sentence but he began to stutter, slightly shifting his head to the side numerous times.

"Don't worry, baby. Let's just focus on your hand right now" You murmur as you kissed his cheek softly.

He went to the table and sat down while you got the first aid kit and a wet cloth. When you press it in his palm, Lew slightly hisses but the pain soon subsided. You then applied some lotion and bandaged his hand.

Lew's heart melts at how attentive you are.

You know he's been really stressed all this time as he was releasing his new album this year. He tried brushing it off but he was nervous of the outcome.

Once you were down, you lightly kiss his palm. He tries getting up to resume cooking, but you hold his hand that wasn't burned

"We can worry about dinner later. I want to hear what's going on."

You let him calm down as you brush your fingers through his hair. He looks up at you with sad eyes.

"I tried so hard to make tonight perfect. I wanted to make you a new type of dish and I... I've been saving up to buy you your present. I was hoping to pick it up after I made the food but I read on my phone that it got lost in transit. That's when I burned my hand. I'm sorry if I messed up tonight." He said in a low tone.

"Love, you did nothing of the matter. If I made dinner, our apartment would be either flooded or up in flames." You reassured him with a joke which he softly chuckles.

"But you know fancy dinners or expensive gifts don't matter to me. It's knowing if you're loved, cherished, and especially...knowing you're alright. I love you, and I don't ever want to be the reason you're hurting. Cause I would kick my own ass." you said.

He laughs more as you places his hand around your waist.

"I love you too. Thank you, for always taking care of me."

You lean in and give him a slow, sweet kiss.

"In sickness or in health, love. You're stuck with me."

He gives you a peck and stares at you.

"Till death do us part."

Soon, you guys went to the kitchen and saw what you could salvage from dinner. You brought back the groceries you bought and decided to make spaghetti. You two ate and went to the couch to watch a movie.

You lay in his lap during the film and look up to him.

"Are you feeling better?" You ask as you get up.

He smiles as he snuggles closer to you, resting his head by your shoulder.

"Yeah, I can't thank you enough for tonight. You always bring me inner peace. Happy anniversary, angel." He says, knowing how lucky he is to have you.

You smile down at him and hold the back of his head and kiss him.

"Happy anniversary, Lew."

Looking back, he saw how his attempted grand gestures were pointless, as all he ever needed was you

[distantwave]

recommend me 5 songs, so I can associate them with you and learn more music 🫶🏻 (I just remembered a time I asked you about your Spotify playlists??????)

Ough okay okay I feel like I’ve gotta get wildly specific songs in here (these aren’t ranked)

1. Secrets - One Republic

This song was in the soundtrack for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice in 2010 and it was specifically in this one scene where they’re in this giant fucking Tesla coil and the guys playing the song and the electricity matches up to the music and I was ten years old when this movie came out and I went absolutely INSANE for it and it’s been giving me brain worms ever since like I’m being so serious u have to google that scene rn it’s probably not good but it’s so good

2. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk - Trace Adkins

SPECIFICALLY the one off the 2005 Dangerous Man album!!! The original is also good but the second one is so much more fun. This ones my go to favorite karaoke song in the world bc I could absolutely sing it blackout drunk I know it so well. I was super super into when I was little bc I thought the “slap ur grandma” line was funny (I was 5) but I also think it’s the perfect karaoke song bc a) you don’t really need to be able to sing to sing it b) the whole song is just about how hot this one girl is c) I absolutely don’t look like someone who would adore country music so it’s silly goofy

3. If it’s True - Hadestown

My favorite song from my favorite musical in the whole wide world. Hadestown is genuinely the most beautifully crafted musical I’ve ever heard/seen/experienced/whatever and this song in particular is just so so tremendous. I fell in love with the touring cast in 2017 and when the broadway recording came out with this song on it I was just absolutely blown away it’s SUCH a good song

4. Apple - the Narcissist Cookbook

Another where it’s my favorite favorite, this one’s my favorite song/bit of spoken word from my favorite artist. All of tNC’s stuff is really cool and phenomenally well written but the first time I listened through this one the very last line just stuck itself in my brain oh so hard and has continued to stay there ever since. AND!! The song was made all the better bc I got to see tNC live over the summer with @simonswaifu and I was so certain Matt wasn’t going to do much spoken word but I was WRONG!!! And I’ve never been more elated to be wrong bc I got to hear Apple live and it was oh so delightful

5. Living Dead Girl - Rob Zombie

Another one I was obsessed with when I was little! I distinctly remember listening to this song soo many times in my dads truck when it was just the two of us driving when I was like, 6? And something about it still fucks to this day (I will admit tho I only genuinely know like, half the lyrics bc this song is about the vibe ya know, who cares if u can actually understand what he’s saying as long as ur feeling the vibe)

[pastafossa]

Thanks you so much @teigo-the-explorer for the tag! This makes a good break from work and/or chapter writing!

PART ONE

Are you named after anyone: I am not! Though fam did intentionally choose a name that couldn’t be shortened to a nickname or rhymed with anything.

when was the last time you cried? Yesterday when I was editing a sad section of my TRT outline to make it MORE sad, RIP me and all of you when we hit that point

do you have kids? Nope and I’ve gone so far as to have my tubes incinerated

do you use sarcasm a lot: NEVER

what's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they have a dog. But if you mean on their person, usually if they have a cool shirt! Bodywise: eyes.

what's your eye colour: Blue-green!

scary movies or happy endings: I like them both but if I HAD to choose I’d go happy endings

any special talents: According to my woodcarving teacher, I’m excellent at carving! I managed to carve 5 projects in a week on my first go, including a couple of the more difficult projects he’d set out for more experienced carvers. FINALLY, A VISUAL ART I’M GOOD AT. I’m also really good at just eyeballing a wall and figuring out how a bunch of hung frames will look good without having to draw it out!

where were you born? Los Angeles! It’s one reason I chose it for Ciro and Jane’s history in TRT - it meant I had to do less research since I was familiar with the area. I already knew a lot of landmarks, geography, culture, weather/environment, and speech patterns.

what are your hobbies?: woodcarving, reading, writing, video games, cooking, traveling whenever I can, movies and tv!

have any pets?: I do! 3 cats, 1 dog, and 1 snake!

what sports do you play/have played?: Oh god I tried a lot of them and my skills are... very much elsewhere. When I was a kid I tried soccer (fast but bad at kicking), ballet (teacher told my parents I had a future in the performing arts, just not dance), baseball (can’t hit a ball to save my life). I did have some success with horseback riding though! I did some trail and a little barrel racing for about ten years, and it is by far the most advanced I ever got with a sport.

how tall are you?: 5′5-5′6 depending on my anxiety level

favourite subject in school?: English, I loved English class. 

dream job?: Due to health problems I’m a little limited in what I can do. If I was healthy, zoologist/marine biologist. As I am, author!

PART TWO

first ship: Oh god, uuuuh let me think. Loosely was probably April x Casey in TMNT since that was my favorite movie as a kid. First active ship that I openly rooted for... maybe Rogue and Gambit from X-Men TAS, like damn I was a kid but I WANTED them together SO FUCKING BAD like why is she hooked on fucking Scott (i hated scott) when she has Gambit RIGHT THERE, RIGHT FUCKING THERE GIRL.

three ships: Since most everyone knows my Marvel ships, I’ll step outside it and go with - Troi x Worf (Star Trek: TNG), Cecil x Carlos (most wholesome ship ever courtesy Welcome to Nightvale), and Leslie Knope x Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)

last (current) song: Flu Game by Fall Out Boy not me playing this album on loop since it came out last week

last movie: San Andreas, don’t judge me

currently reading: Re-reading Taggerung by Brian Jacques, which is my favorite Redwall book and the first Redwall book I ever picked up! I was at a book fair and came around a corner and saw this FUCKING BADASS PIRATE OTTER??? WITH A KNIFE??? AND TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS, IT WAS SO COOL I PICKED IT UP WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE SUMMARY CAUSE WHO CARES, PIRATE OTTER PIRATE OTTER TINY PASTA WANTS TO READ ABOUT PIRATE OTTERSSSSSSSS SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THIS COVER AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN’T READ THIS

currently watching: The Mandalorian, shiny space husband make brain go brrrrrr

currently consuming: Just water LOL 

currently craving: SUNSHINE BUT IT IS CLOUDY

__________

I'm tagging

@wonderlandmind4 @shadeblade16​ @intricate-melody​ @softasawhisper​ and anyone else who wants to do this!

_________

[likeadevils]

Top 10 Vault tracks from the Taylor's Versions we have so far (Fearless, Red and Speak Now)?

the second verse of you all over me might be my favorite second verse of her entire career. don’t hold me to that but also i’m right

we were happy floored me when it first came out. like it’s just not the kind of narrative that teenage taylor would ever write? and it’s been sitting in some hard drive since 2005?? also, the bridge? aromantic anthem

don’t you is just perfect. like as much as i’m theoretically annoyed at putting a pop song on fearless it’s such a good song and the production enhances the story perfectly and i just can’t be mad

better man, nothing new, and i bet you think about me all absolutely should’ve made red. if you want to experience true womanhood listen to ibytam -> nothing new -> begin again like GOD. (run also should’ve said red but that’s more because of how it ties into the other songs so perfectly like it’s the mirror image of sad beautiful tragic it drives me insane)

FOREVER WINTER. “TOO YOUNG TO KNOW IT GETS BETTER” HAS DRAGGED ME OUT OF SO MANY SPIRALS YOU HAVE NO IDEA

the first verse of electric touch with taylor’s lower register drives me INSANE. and then making it a duet? galaxy brain move. reframing the song as two people tentatively hoping the other one cares as much as they do? my favorite trope. and the bridge???? the way it builds????? screaming

FOOLISH ONE. SHOULD’VE MADE THE FUCKING ALBUM

timeless because it reminds me of @loveaffairmaimyou, who is legitimately the other half of my soul

[crmsndragonwngss]

1,4,7 and 9 :)

Nah fuck it, I’m doing both!

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle

Seeking Somewhere, by Monument Of A Memory Proxy, by Valis Ablaze Legion, by TesseracT

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents

Many, but here are some faves:

(No seriously)

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

Believe it or not, as much as I love Lorna now, I really did not care for this song in the beginning. I’m not real huge into deathcore (I have bands I like but it’s far from my favorite subgenre), and I did not vibe with this song at first. Obviously that changed. I tried it again when I was in a different mindset and fell completely head over heels in love with the whole ep!

Again, believe it or not, I didn’t particularly care for Ghost Atlas the first time I heard them. I was already an Erra fan, so I already adored Jesse Cash, but GA was so totally different from Erra and it simply wasn’t what I needed at the time. Then All Is In Sync came out in 2017 and their sound finally clicked with me, and I went back and ended up really loving this song in particular. This is also a great band if you like alt rock/indie rock.

Listen, way back in 2014, when I was discovering Erra and Amity for the first time, Psy’s Gangnam Style went viral for the second time in the States and a couple of BTS mv reactions had landed on lame ass “comedy” shows that my ex-bestie watched like tosh.0, and I tried to listen to BTS just to see what all the hype was about. I listened to this album and fucking hated it. I always give songs to the chorus to catch my interest before I skip, and I ended up skipping every track, but I really disliked this one. I could not pinpoint why exactly, I just did not fuck with it at all. Fast forward to like six fucking months ago and this is one of my favorite songs period, let alone one of my fave BTS tracks. I LOVE this song. I listen to it almost every day (followed immediately by cypher 3, not big on the other two cyphers, but I love these two). This is not the song that made me actually fall in love with BTS’s music, that distinction goes to a track from the same album (Tomorrow), but this one has earned a spot in my regular rotation for sure

9. three songs that get you in the Christmas Mood

(That is hands down my favorite Christmas song ever)

Of course

And Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, but no specific version of it

10. three favourite Halloween/spooky songs

Imma basic ass goth bitch, so naturally:

And because I hit the audio limit (lame)

Cry Little Sister, the theme song from The Lost Boys (and yes, I do actually prefer the original over the covers I've heard. BUT if anyone has a cover they like of it, feel free to send it!)

[mirrorballtales]

So much happened overnight!!! At first listen, literally within 13 seconds I sobbed. Full blown sobbed. I haven’t heard a new album since Oct 27, 2022 so this an absolute gift. Then at 11pm she does the most unhinged thing and drops a SECOND album!!! So the TWOs did mean something!!! FIFTEEN NEW SONGS!!! I feel like she was able to pull out this sadness I don’t like to talk about. A different kind of sadness, one I keep to myself, and one that you can only understand if you’ve been there. Her vocals are even more beautiful, definitely more on the lower register which is my favorite with her. They were all fountain or quill pen songs. The Anthology album is definitely sadder and more scathing. So now I’ll just post my thoughts as I listen to these works of healing poetry.

Fortnight feat. Post Malone - SOBBING! SOBBING!!! It’s ethereal, the synth sounds incredible. The beat. I am so glad this is a single. It’s so beautiful. Posty’s voice sounds so good in the backing vocals. And he got to sing the bridge!

The Tortured Poets Department - It’s beyond beautiful. Her imagery. Her metaphors. I’m going to keep this one to myself.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - The only thing I’ll say about this song besides I love dancing to it is “once I fix me, he’s going to miss me” and I wonder if that’s true. If they ever miss me. I haven’t fixed me.

Down Bad - I’ll never admit it aloud. But this song is probably my favorite 😭. Oh and I’m crying again. “You sent me back where I came from” IM DOWN BAD CRYING AT THE GYM. FUCK IT IF I CANT HAVE US. DOWN BAD. Nevermind this is my favorite. Wait I already said that. The beat. TEENAGE PETULANCE. I MIGHT NOT GET UP IM DOWN BAD. Yeah I’m obsessed. This is the one 😭 This sort of epitomizes like the second choice thing I say I’m plagued with.

So Long, London - TRACK FIVE. OH THIS IS SO PRETTY! It is really sad. I think when you lose people you love you lose a place to call home. Lots of synth pop. HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU THINK I HAD IN ME? Oh yeah she wrote this about me.

But Daddy I Love Him - Oh it’s country. We’re so back! Debut will destroy me when she releases it. Oh this is such a pretty song! I’M HAVING HIS BABY, NO I’M NOT, YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES!!! Oh Taylor that lyric.

Fresh Out the Slammer - Yeah it’s definitely time for country. I love this!!! Oh I love this I can’t wait to not be busy and absorb every single lyric. I love this so much. Her lyricism is so beautiful. It makes me think of old westerns and duels, and going into a saloon.

Florida!!! feat. Florence & The Machine - Umm I don’t really care for the feature or the slamming of the drum. Like it’s definitely heavily influenced by Florence and she’s never been my vibe. The lyrics are beautiful. Maybe it’ll grow on me.

Guilty As Sin? - So my friend and I interpreted like when you’re really into someone and when you physically can’t have them, what do you do? The next best thing. You scream his name in your mind. You don’t touch his skin but IF HE’S WRITTEN MINE ON MY UPPER THIGH ONLY IN MY MIND!!! OH WE’VE ALREADY DONE IT IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD TAYLOR!!!!!!!! Building back waves, crashing over, without ever touching him???????? PLEASE NEVERMIND THIS IS MY FAVORITE. ACTUALLY ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. IM OBSESSED. FUCK!!! I need this tattooed on my damn forehead! I am so obsessed I’m so serious. This is so serious.

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me - I claimed this song before listening to it so let me just said I AM SO GLAD I DID!!! Country undertones. She’s definitely telling a story. I love this song so much. She’s angry and kind of owning people fearing her. This feels very much like the antithesis of mirrorball. Like fuck you, I’m done pleasing people. I’m doing what I want. Like I feel that way. Yes why are you afraid of me? Oh actually you should be.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - this song is very sexy. Country overtones now. Like something you’d listen to at a saloon. With a whiskey, neat. I love this song.

loml- I AM FUCKING CRYING. OH THIS COULD HAVE BEEN TRACK FIVE. THIS IS SO SAD. I CANNOT STOP CRYING. This is truly a sad story. Talking rings? And talking cradles??????????? Oliver Twist count your days you malnourished charlatan. LOSS OF MY LIFE. OH FUCK. IM GOING TO JUMP RIGHT NOW. Aaron Dessner you destroy me time and time again. This is a favorite but because it’s just so sad I need to take time to sit with it. This is so sad 😭😭😭.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - I KNEW IT WAS ABOUT THE ERAS TOUR!!!!!!!! I knew it!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 LIGHT. CAMERA. BITCH. SMILE!!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! Oh this is so 80s. I’m so depressed l act like it’s my birthday. Please!!! So good. New insta caption activated!!! I can’t stop dancing to this. Please. I love it so much.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Ratty you’re a piece of shit. Goodbye.

The Alchemy - I, too claimed this song. And fuck it’s so good. It’s about having undeniable, magnetic chemistry. I’m- OH ITS ABOUT HAVING A CRUSH!!!!!! Oh Taylor. Wait this is about Travis. This is definitely giving “I’m so happy Travy made it to the big game” LMAOOOO. I fucking love this song!!! He just comes running over to me!????????? Please.

Clara Bow - Well I’m destroyed again. I am Clara Bow. I’m the fucked up girl no one ever wants. And this song really called me out. THIS IS SO GOOD! SHE NAME DROPPED HERSELF!!!!!!

Okay these are my initial thoughts of The Tortured Poets Department. I’ll do an initial thoughts about TTPD: The Anthology later. I have to go to a stupid job I stupidly applied for.

Anyway, TTPD is my new personality, I will be listening to this album forevermore.

[cirie-won-thirty-four]

Some thoughts on act ii

Jolene has always been a bird song to me, and this new take keeps it that way! I do feel if I ever put my clown suit on and tried to came to a girl ‘as a woman’ about my man, I’d probably take the Beyoncé route lol

Bodyguard is the BEST song on the album, and may have just entered my ‘favorite songs of all time’ list! Truly a perfect song!

Everyone is 100% right about YA YA! I know that song is going to be EVERYTHING on the tour!

I know Oh Louisiana is short but it’s so good! It’s definitely underrated as well, I haven’t seen alot of people rave about it as much but I absolutely loved it.

Smoke hour is so cute! Her getting Willie Nelson to say KNTRY is so fucking funny

Overall, I usually dislike when an album is more than 12-14 songs because its typically done as a cash grab to max out streaming numbers but this felt very purposeful! Unlike Renaissance, which was a 10/10 no skips album, there were def some skips on this one and some songs I didn’t care for that much, however as a cohesive project, and the fact that one of the songs on there is entering my hall of fame of songs in existence, I’d say CC is a solid 8.9/10!