#online IMS Awareness Training course

[bapouro]

If you have the time and if it’d be fun at all, can you talk about how going to school for art is/was? Like what was bad about it but what did it make you realize about why you create? What was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? I’m just curious because I really only got into art after college age.

Hi

ive finally handed in my final project ever last friday and after somewhat recovering i can now answer u. (ill put an aside here that before i started uni, i saw a lot of the online umming and awing about art school and it being a scam etc that made me nervous going into it. i dont really think it has been for me but keep in mind im doing this in the uk. i think if i was in the usa or somewhere where it was that expensive i think youd get just about as many benefits going to somewhere like a community college instead. its worth a bit of money but not a lot of money.)

i realised while turning over your questions in my head last week how much doing my degree (illustration undergrad) during covid lockdown, illustrated (haha) the point art school had for me. and the point being that after trying to stick it out for the first few terms during lockdown, i deferred, i didnt really see the point i had already spent my entire life making art in my bedroom online for free, without somebody telling me what to do. practically what that degree offered me was physical facilities and resources, but really what i wanted it for was that vague miasma of drive and something bigger than myself to physically 'prove' myself to. i was and still am very interested in that gap between the online environment i learnt art within that felt a world away from my 'real life', and coming to meet with that 'real life' was kind of my goal. i needed both to meet on a very basic level for my quality of life. and id say i succeeded. twice now somebody i was originally mutuals with online turned out to be in my class. i live with one of them now. and i feel some pride now looking back on how much i felt like i had to separate my 'school' art and my 'personal' art during secondary school and now theyre practically one and the same. in fact one piece of advice ive kept with me from the uni tutors here is they consistently wish the students wouldnt 'hold back' so much on the kind of work they make: one of my friends, the one i now live with, was doing a tasteful furry pinup statue for a project and one of the tutors essentially asked them why the statue was being so sexually subtle with it, for example.

so what was bad about it! man... thinking about it the same reason i gave for why i came back after lockdown could also point out how flippant the reasoning was. its still a lot of time and effort let alone money to be putting into something that you dont Need an institution for. and art and academia, as much as you might try, arent going to be as neatly married as maybe STEM and academia. not that there isnt a place for it. we need it in there. but basically your work still has to get 'graded' on things so they can prove themselves as an institution so they can still get money to run. i ''apreciated'' the deadline part, for what it was, because i was(/am) a serial put-er off-er and i knew i needed something big to try and train me out of it. but the actual mark scheme and trying to work off of it is never not going to be nebulous. what the hell does it mean to 'demonstrate my awareness of the changing landscape of contemporary illustration' graded between 0 - 100 via a 3d animation. ive done pretty well. sometimes id get top marks. a couple times i wouldnt even pass and id have to do it again. the only pattern i could really see between what got those marks for me and what didnt was effort? so take with that what you will.

yea that being said, what it helped me realise why i create... i am thankful my particular course at my particular uni is so into their experimentation / medium diversity. because it proved to me again that experimenting is something i love to do. i could keep doing it forever maybe. but that also made me realise after trying to do that project after project that its only one part of the enjoyment. i couldnt sink my teeth in as much as i wanted. part of why im glad to leave is im glad to try and focus on just a few things now. take a project at my pace... reeeally get way too into it. hopefully.

what was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? mm.. i think getting to see a lot of the behind the scenes and the people actually doing illustration as a job kind of softened my glare on some art styles / ways of working i dislike. not that i Like them now but that kind of flat illustrator thing.. for some people it really is more of a job than anything else. i think thats fine. theres all kinds of other art to enjoy outside of their 9-5. i just hope they like it too. but of course it does set a precedent for what clients expect/what you feel like you should be making..? oh also i did actually end up really enjoying the couple of art essays we needed to write. reading cultural/art/etc pdf essays was something i already liked to do like reading baudrillard and ellen dissanayake and things but it was great to actually get to apply it in writing. and i think it certainly became more digestible to realise that these kinds of writers and this kind of writing wasnt some hard to penerate academia i couldnt be a part of really but turned out to be writing about things that already applied to life, whether i went to uni or not. really the whole experience... for me i felt like it was just something i needed to do. if anything just to get away from my family and make my own life. im glad i did it. but really art is art no matter where you find it. uni gave me a push to go further, i could sit around and say i couldve done it without uni but i think we overestimate ourselves. i think i couldve but i bet it wouldve taken longer and i may have experimented less, challenged myself less. who knows. just dont ever let something like that put you off art, it will always find you again eventually. im glad you got into it too.

[curiousitycollective]

I've been questioning on and off since i think, 2020? 2021? if im plural or not. At first i decided that no im not, because i dont have did/osdd/etc and I wasnt open to the idea of any other form of plurality bc it was always looked down upon. I stopped thinking about it for a while but more recently I've been having trains of thoughts that dont really feel like they belong to me: im not sure how to explain it, its not a voice, feels more like a thought that was placed into my mind but doesn't belong to *me*; but then i was thinking maybe im just personifying my intrusive thoughts etc + i have a history of experiencing paranoia/delusions too so, yk

We dont really switch either. I space out a lot (i do dissociate, im just quite confident i dont have any form of disordered plurality) and it occasionally it *feels* like im not in control but I know I still am. The most "out of control" i've felt was doing something and feeling that it was *influenced* by someone else, but not actually done by them. A lot of the things I thought were alters (back in 2021) were also more fragments of myself, I would say (minus one guy who's more distinct, but idk if im just making all of that up.)

I'm not asking you to tell me "yes, you are definitely plural" or "no definitely not" of course, I'm just wondering if there's any input or anything you could direct me with or anything ? ^^;

first sorry if you have been waiting on a reply, tumblr apparently isn't showing us notifications for asks anymore. Also our answer will be above the read more, and we'll stick some resources, blogs, ect under that we think might be helpful.

So a few things, starting with some general stuff for when you're questioning things plural and otherwise.

On the "am I making this up or not?" we encourage anyone whose questioning to distinguish between "making something up/faking it" and misinterpreting things when looking at their experiences.

If you aren't purposely forcing things or consciously creating them then you aren't making something up, you can misinterpret one thing as another but if you aren't trying to do something then you aren't making it up, making something up/faking it is a conscious choice.

We also encourage anyone questioning anything to worry less about "am I right about this lable?" and focus more on "does this label help me/make my life easier/explain things to me?" It takes the pressure off about being wrong and focusses on what the thing means to you specifically.

If you decide to identify as plural and find that no, this doesn't actually fit there's nothing wrong with going "nope not actually me" and continuing on with your journey.

We've gone through many different sets of identities and pronouns before we found what fits, because often the only way to know is to see if it works. The importance thing is to make sure that whatever you choose fits you, instead of you forcing yourself to fit it.

We definitely recommend journaling or doing some sort of tracking to see how you feel about different things over time. Honestly a small notebook you keep in your pocket and jot down any stray thoughts or influences would probably be a great start.

Its actually something we did when trying to sort out the influence of ocd from schizospec from plural. It can help you see patterns over time that would otherwise be really hard to spot and also having an external record helps avoid a lot of the pitfalls of human memory

Onto the more plural related stuff. So one thing to note is that its not at all uncommon to not directly hear anything or feel others beyond stray thoughts and feeling influences especially with plurals who aren't fully aware of being plural yet.

Internal communication often takes time and practice in order to become reliable. Its not something that you'll regularly see in plural communities online because by their nature most have some degree of awareness and internal communication, otherwise they wouldn't have sought out the community but it is completely normal.

Feeling like others in brain are versions of you, or fragments also is not uncommon. Its another experience that doesn't get spoken of on here but its one many have, smile/Wren/Ghost are some of our oldest members and started as alternate versions of each other before becoming more individual. Some find that as members become more aware and communicate improves members become more differentiated some stay the same, either way its not an unknown or weird experience.

One thing we highly recommend for you is looking into the median community and their experiences. Median falls under the plural umbrella but covers those who feel their system is less differentiated/closer to singlet.

Okay this is already huge and I think we hit on most points but please feel free to ask follow ups about anything we've said

- Everyone

Blogs

@median-culture-is

@multiplicity-positivity

@inclusiveplurality

@pluralpolls <— good for getting an idea of different experiences in the community

We'll also add our #accounts and narratives tag to this post, not everything is plural but its our tag for collecting different experiences so there's probably some stuff there that's useful

[cluelesslesbian]

alright tumblrinas prepare yourselves for me using my blog as my own diary for a lil bit uwu

i gotta hand in the proposal for my senior research project by tmrw night and gUESS WHO HASN'T STARTED ANYTHINGGGG

me. it's me. i'm so unmotivated and oddly tired lately?? like fr slept for most of my reading week and I'm so confused how???? i was so excited to start researching n drawing stuff in my free time?? wack. i blame depression- that evil bastard swirling my poor innocent noodle brain around on it's demonic pitchfork... idek what I'm saying alright NEXT SUBJECT---

im working w a local medical aesthetician who wants to create a guideline/course for medical professionals and beauty technicians to take in order to improve their bedside manners (aka how u talk and interact w clients/patients, the extra jazz on top of your scheduled appointment stuff ykno??) and ANYWAYYSSS I'm so down to help her bc!! i totally agree that some ppl are so casually insensitive when handling patients? and she was telling me about how heartbreaking it was that some of her clients were so surprised by her?? just being a decent human & doing her job??? like,,, yall I'm talking if a trans woman wants a brazillian wax?? like I personally don't like touching other ppl but like?? there's nothing wrong with that at all????? but apparently some places will deny that kinda service bc of their [prejudice OR lack of training in waxing diff genitalia... it's easy to say it's just a transphobic professional but sometimes,, there's just no resources for ppl to access and they don't want to hurt ppl in the process ykno?? its complicated but ethics b like that lol] and anyways ugh ok now I'm remembering how she hesitated telling me the details of waxing someone who's faced fatphobia and BRUH- I'm a twig, I can admit that but?? HOW would u not know or be comfortable asking someone to hold up their stomach or arm while u did ur job???? like I get it- some ppl might say it too harshly and that's a subjective tonal issue.. but?? like it's not rocket science to just BE POLITE- and anyways idek but yeah..

so ok im getting excited one again yay this was a good idea- imma start researching what ethical considerations are directly mentioned in physician training, how medial education is formatted, and bedside manner things... then I'll start compiling a report about what SHOULD be done and how it can be taught instead... (me and the nice lady r thinking of starting by creating awareness on insta via infographics and fun stuff before creating an online course... she wanted to do like a community college typa course but I recommended an etextbook course bc?? i mean I've done plenty of university courses primarily using an online textbook site soo it's def worth a shot and can be mass-distributed & can b formatted to allow for accessibility ..things.. wait whats the word.. uhh OH- ACCOMODATIONS yeeeee im so smort

....ok thats it. probs. this was neat. 10/10 brain feels more on track now omg..

OH yo i gotta remember to declare in my research intro that I'm a cis woman... wait or not... depends on if I focus more on soft-skills vs. hard-skills in my research.. no wait i still need to bc yeah i get diff treatment as a woman who fits the stereotypical "girly" standard than others might.... hmm ugh i don't wanna do a survey but now I'm wondering if i should get ethics clearance to (anonymously) question lgbt+ folks in my area about their experiences since it'll def be more reliable than some paper in a fancy-schmancy medical journal .... but that's so much woooorkkkk nooo 😭

okokokokoK one thing at a time.

gonna start summarizing some medical research to start a lit review.

then identify if there are gaps in existing research (specifically around patient mental health when it comes to demographic characteristics)

then summarize some marketing research to make informed predictions/recommendations on how tooooo... like productively change your habits or at least identify them? yeah? hmm marketing for how to present that info but psych & epidemiology research to get the content of the info probably....

OK BET YEET

[cobaltcarbonpotassium420]

sorry this is a totally rambly (real word?? idk if it not then I've just made it up you're welcome) little train of thought kinda post about the girl, so confusing version with lorde because I've seen so many posts about it on tiktok either from people who are just trying to go viral with rage bait and being purposely obtuse or from people with absolutely zero media literacy. this is mostly my own thoughts on it (mostly lorde's verse) because im not at uni and I don't have my pookie to talk to about it over a bottle of wine and a pack of cigs at 2 in the morning :(

anyway this is mostly about these four lines from lorde's verse

I never thought for a second My voice was in your head "Girl, you walk like a bitch" When I was ten someone said that

there's def TONNES of discourse about it elsewhere online and what I'm saying is likely a repetition of it and this is just my interpretation voiced really badly but I need an outlet. the lines are separated by phrasing in the music, but I think there's for sure there's a connection between them (I mean of course there would be, but I think a lot of people are separating the latter two lines from the former because of the change in music and it being a better hook in ways?). it's the fact that lorde mentions how "Girl, you walk like a bitch" is something that was said to her when she was super young, and yet it still plays on her mind, which ties back to her not realising how her own music and success was probably on Charli's mind a lot because women are pitted against each other constantly, to the point where it's something I think that comparison is something most of us do subconsciously and on a daily basis. I know I compare how I look to random women walking down the street, or I compare my academic success to my friends.

also weighing heavy on my mind is the fact that lorde mentions that she was only ten when someone said that. of course we don't know whether this actually happened, but from the perspective of the speaker in the song it did. girls are taught from such a young age that they are constantly being watched and judged (what is it that Margaret Atwood said about women being their own voyeurs? slight sidetrack but its another thing to think about in connection to how girls are raised) and the way you walk at that age isn't something you're actively thinking about. in fact, it isn't even when you're older. you just walk the way you walk, but such minuscule details are picked apart because girls are expected to live up to an unrealistic standard.

I saw a post where someone was criticising (I think) the song because the insult "Girl, you walk like a bitch" is such a stupid insult?? I mean, what does it even mean?? but to me that's the whole point. even the song title points it out - how confusing it is to be a girl. women and girls have such high, even contradictory, expectations to live up to, and when they somehow manage to achieve them, people will come up with a new insecurity for them. we see it all of the time just with the trends surrounding women's appearances and bodies, but it comes up in other aspects of women's lives too.

the language that line uses is also so important. referring to someone as "girl" like that is a typically more familiar way of talking to them. it's not a term you use with total strangers, or even acquaintances (I personally wouldn't anyway) but rather someone who you know well-ish. and it goes back to how women are taught from a young age to see all women as competition, as someone to compare yourself to and as someone who you should try to be better than. even now I find myself comparing myself to close friends, and they've confessed that they do the same, because that constant self reflection is something which young girls are taught to do. girls have to be self aware to some extent so that they can continue scrutinising themselves.

anyway ramble over!! if anyone has thoughts pls share!! I'd love to hear what others think since my interpretation is coloured by my experiences in the world. much love <3

[isous1111]

Is Your Business Ready for ISO 9001 Certification in USA?

Business Ready for ISO 9001 Certification in USA:

ISO 9001 Certification in USA is globally recognized as an indicator of extraordinary control structures (QMS). For organizations inside the USA, obtaining ISO 9001 certification complements credibility and shows a dedication to ordinary, exquisite and patron pride. This guide outlines the techniques, blessings, and critical troubles for engaging in ISO 9001 certification inside the USA.

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The Miracles of ISO 9001 Certification in USA:

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Stages to Gain ISO 9001 Certification in USA:

Gap Breakdown: Evaluate modern-day courses opposing ISO 9001 Certification in USA requirements to evolve and be aware of gaps and crucial upgrades.

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Achieving ISO 9001 certification in USA consists primarily of the absolute truth method to first-rate control, specializing in patron pleasure, operational commonplace, regular time-honoured performance, and persistent development. By adhering to ISO 9001 necessities, corporations can decorate credibility, get the right of entry to new markets, and beautify their competitive feature in the international market.

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We provide the best ISO consultants Who are knowledgeable and provide the best solution. And to know how to get ISO certification. Kindly reach us at contact@factocert.com. Work according to ISO standards and help organizations implement ISO certification in India with proper documentation.

For more information, visit ISO 9001 Certification in USA.

Related links:

ISO 14001 Certification in USA

ISO 45001 Certification in USA

ISO 27001 Certification in USA

ISO 22000 Certification in USA

ISO 13485 Certification in USA

Related Article:

How can I get ISO 14001 Certification For a Food Supply Business?

[alanacare]

Support Services in Sydney

Whether you’re looking for help with your disability or you’re a family carer, there are many different support services that can help. We’ve got information on peer support, counselling, planned and emergency respite and tailored support packages to help you with your caring role.

Start by calling Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737 Monday to Friday between 8am and 5pm and select option 1. Your local service provider will talk you through the registration process and planning process.

Carer Gateway

Carer Gateway is an Australian Government initiative that provides a range of free online, phone and in-person supports for family carers across Australia. They aim to improve carers’ wellbeing, skills and knowledge.

They offer a range of services including counselling, peer support, emergency respite and financial support via carer directed support packages.

They are delivered through a network of regional Carer Gateway service providers in each state and territory. The national advertising campaign aims to increase awareness of these services and encourage unpaid carers to access them through the phone line and website.

Embrace

Embrace provides a range of services for participants, including specialised care support services Sydney for people with high care needs. It also offers help with personal tasks of daily living to enable participants to live as independently as possible.

Whether you’re looking for assistance in the home, at work or in the community, Embrace can provide the right support to get you there.

Embrace is registered with the NDIS, so you can receive support from them directly, using your NDIS funds. They also strictly follow the NDIS price guide and ensure all services they deliver meet the requirements of the government’s price regulation system.

STARTTS

STARTTS (NSW Service for the Treatment and Rehabilitation of Torture and Trauma Survivors) is a specialised state-wide service providing culturally responsive mental health care. Using a multi-disciplinary approach, it aims to improve the lives of those affected by torture and trauma.

The organisation offers a diverse range of services including clinical, community and training services in addition to their innovative client support program. They are also the proud winners of several awards and recognitions. Their awards include the prestigious NSW Health Care Award for their state-wide STARTTS PTSD program and the NSTA Australia National Award for their research into mental health service delivery in the context of a traumatised population.

Transcultural Mental Health Centre

Transcultural Mental Health Centre offers consultation and referral services for people of a culturally and linguistically diverse background. They are a state-wide peak body that works with service providers and community groups across the region to support positive mental health.

Using a cultural consultation model, they work with therapists from different cultural backgrounds to develop treatment plans for families. The family is also provided with a language interpreter for the consultation, which helps them understand what is being said and how the therapist is working.

The service also offers a range of courses for mental health professionals in the field of multicultural and global mental health. These include:

Ageing and Disability Abuse Helpline

Known for its cunningly concealed office towers in the CBD and outlying suburbs, Aging and Disability Services (ADHS) provides support to hundreds of local seniors and their caregivers. ADHS administers federal Older Americans Act funding and partners with community-based organisations for care, nutrition and wellness, and transportation services. ADC is also home to the state’s oldest surviving nursing home, and a number of other aging-related facilities. To make the most of the state’s resources, ADHS has a myriad of programs to promote healthy living and assist older people with the best quality of life. The most important is ADHS’s ability to connect families to a thriving network of resources and to keep them in the know.

COPE

COPE (Care of People with Dementia in their Environments) offers a range of services for people living with dementia and their carers. The program helps the person with dementia and their carer to work together, using practical strategies and skills to remain independent in their homes.

To become a COPE Instructor, you will need to complete an online training course. Once you’ve passed this, your COPE Instructor License and manuals will be delivered.

[anxiouslyextroverted]

vent that idk where to put so

honestly this is random of me to say but getting diagnosed with autism at 6 was so bad for me, like not only did it cause years and years of bullying because my mum made this huge deal about me having it to everyone, and embarassed me, and friends and family a like yelled at me for any autistic trait i showed. But it also is the reason my social skills are even more sht cuz young me (who for whatever reason was allowed to have a computer and be online at as young as 7) was like 'let me google how to not be autistic' and then now i cant even relate to other autistic people anymore because me at 7-17 had trained constantly to be aware of every autistic trait I had and now I dont even know what autistic traits I have anymore. I went to multiple autistic youth camps and I related to no one. none of my therapists ever thought I have autism, my recent therapist wants to see proof that I have it like bruh

I know it sucks to have it diagnosed later in life of course it does but I just feel liek I don't know being diagnosed with autism at a young as age can be really horrible too, it was for me at least. trained myself so much to not have any autistic traits that I accidentaly trained a way a huge part of my personality lmao. like I must sound like an asshole rn but I geneuinl find it so difficult to relate to both nt and nd people, cuz like everything most nd people I've seen do now days was stuff I did at 7-16, like all the questons and all the research. and all the stuff they are already knew is stuff I never learnt until now. and im still treated like as if i know nothing about autism ect... even though I was diagnosed with that shit at 6 like not to complain about autism culture? whatever it is i dont even know, but I feel weird when people tell me I don't know anything about autism or that I'm not autistic just because I said "I have autism" rather than "I'm autistic" like, I don't get that. I am just doing what I'm used too.

I kind of feel similar with lgbt too cuz I was like nonbinary when I was 3 tbh like Ig you could call it that because at that age I denied femininity and she/her pronouns and even being called a girl and just wanted to be called my name, and that carried on until 17 where for the first time ever I worked out the difference between girl and boy, but nowdays now everyone is being like "oh wow look a guy in a dress super cool" but I just kinda thought that was already a normal thing? like I never got the separation of male and female ever, when young me saw feminism and gender equality online, I took it litterally and believed it was girl and boy are exactly the same, so now I'm seeing twitter and tumblr talking about all this like "oh let a guy wear make up cmon its 2023" but I thought that was normal already and don't get why its a big deal and never did. like its hard to explain how I feel not saying its a bad thing though but stuff like that always confuses me. But Ig thats what happens when you're exposed it at a young age, you don't really see the culture or become apart of the culture, or understand the separation to begin with.

[umeacadmy]

Bharati Vidyapeeth Distance MBA Fees

In Pune, Maharashtra, India, one of the best private universities is called Bharati Vidyapeeth. By way of Dr. Patangrao Kadam, Bharati Vidyapeeth University received recognition in 1964. He was a highly well-known politician and educator. The primary goal of the university establishment was to expand education and train all the human resources required for the general growth and economics of the entire nation. It also aimed to offer academic awareness to students and the general public. The institution has been effective in offering high-quality instruction to its pupils, which is the primary factor in its inclusion on the list of top universities in India. The university was founded in 1964, and since then it has effectively expanded its jurisdiction to include other regions of the nation.

The Bharati Vidyapeeth School of Distance Education offers students from India and worldwide its well-known MBA post-graduate program. This two-year degree offers a plethora of business jobs at different managerial levels. For students who want to improve their job abilities, this curriculum is appropriate. Bharati Vidyapeeth distance MBA fees are highly affordable and they also offer some scholarship programs to help students who face some kind of Financial issues. 

In accordance with Section 3 of the UGC Act, Bharati Vidyapeeth University was granted accreditation by the UGC in 1955. More than 78 schools and 60 institutions of higher education are currently affiliated with the university. The Bharati Vidyapeeth University has associated colleges in a variety of areas, including agriculture, catering technology, business schools, law, medicine, dentistry, and engineering.

Important aspects of Bharati Vidyapeeth distance learning program

Join IMED's 55-year history right now. Practical, business-focused education at Indian Vidyapeeth

Bharati Vidyapeeth Deemed University has once again received "A+" accreditation from NAAC (3rd Cycle)

Swayam LMS provides synchronous online lectures for flexible learning every weekend.

Message forums and online sources of references

One of the top 10 business schools in western India, according to Business and Management Chronicle.

Has been given the ASSOCHAM Best Institute Award, which honors leadership prowess and industry institute partnerships.

Bharati Vidyapeeth Deemed University received a Grade "A" from the Ministry of HRD of the Government of India.

Admissions for 2022–2023 at Bharati Vidyapeeth Distance Learning

Bharati Vidyapeeth opens SDE admission in two sessions in January and July. The regular July admissions period will begin. Up to September 30, 2022, new applicants are welcome to register.

The application booklet and form can be obtained for INR 500. In addition to the Bharati Vidyapeeth university distance MBA admission fee, applicants must pay an eligibility fee of 115 INR in order to enroll in the Bharati Vidyapeeth SDE program. A completed application form must be turned in at the Bharati Vidyapeeth SDE-approved admission window. The institution for distance learning also offers online registration. Bharati Vidyapeeth distance MBA Admission is available to programs that are centered on the humanities, social sciences, business, management, and law. The SDE offers a variety of courses, including BA, MSW, BBA, DCL, and others. For all courses, direct admission will be available.

The admissions process for Bharati University distance education 

The applicants must go through a few important steps before being accepted.

We have online application forms on our website (distance.bharatainyapeeth.edu).

Candidates must use the format on the website to submit an application for admission to the academic program of their choice.

Candidates will be temporarily accepted while the eligibility requirements for the program are examined.

To access the registration form and visit the official website of Bharati Vidyapeeth University, click here.

Candidates can obtain application materials and "income distribution" on college campuses.

Applicants must upload or attach a copy of the self-certification required document to the registration form.

For the registration fee, students can send a DD to BVUDE in Jalandhar.

After that, applicants can mail documentation, forms, and Callan forms to the university's address.

Note: Candidates may check the details of undergraduate and graduate programs and submit an application for admission to Bharati Vidyapeeth University for the academic year 2022–2023 by clicking here. the official website for additional details

Please take note:

For Rs. 500 in cash or Rs. 600 by mail, you can purchase an Application Booklet and Admission Form for the First Year.

The application cost for students requesting admission to the second year is Rs. 100 in cash and Rs. 200 sent via postal mail.

The application booklet's price is not refundable.

The Eligibility criteria for admission to Bharati Vidyapeeth distance education

Admission is subject to the fulfillment of the requirements for remote undergraduate and graduate entrance. Students must verify that they are eligible for admission to the university, and they must not attempt to manipulate the data in any way. When a student applies to the institution, they review and validate all of their documentation. If they find any evidence of fake information, they will not let them enroll.

Students are eligible based on the list of conditions below:

The applicants must have a minimum cumulative GPA of 50% and a bachelor's degree in any discipline from an academic institution.

The student's overall grade on their 10-2 test from any board that is registered must have been at least 50%.

Students that fall within the SC/ST category will have their grades relaxed by 5%.

Three years of professional experience are required of applicants for an executive MBA.

Bharati Vidyapeeth University distance MBA Program

Bharati Vidyapeeth Distance MBA seeks to offer working-class or poor individuals who are unable to continue their education owing to a number of negative conditions a cheap yet high-quality education.

The "Deemed to be University" goes above and above by giving students the opportunity to enroll in some of the most lucrative undergraduate and graduate management science programs through its renowned professors.

MBA Concentrations

The Distance Education MBA course is offered by the Bharati Vidyapeeth Deemed University School of Distance Education (BVDU-SDE) in primarily three specialties, i.e.

MBA (General) (General)

M.B.A. (HR) 

M.B.A (Executive)

The duration of each 2-year Distance MBA program is divided into 4 semesters for the examinations.

Students who enroll in the MBA (General) program are given a foundational understanding of all the most popular specialties, making it applicable to and practicable in all the major sectors. Additionally, this curriculum offers general coaching and training in leadership, communication, creativity, and critical and logical thought.

Students who pursue an MBA (HR) are essentially trained to manage any organization's human resources. This course deals with organizational behavior, strategic management, and corporate communication. They aid students in acquiring the fundamental abilities they need throughout their careers.

For individuals looking for a managerial educational qualification in addition to their professional experience, an executive MBA is a perfect option. It is crucial for people looking to improve their professional skills and secure the greatest position available.

Bharati Vidyapeeth distance MBA Fee structure 

The fee schedule for each of Bharati Vidyapeeth's three MBA specializations provided via distance learning is listed below:

Course Name                      Total Programme Fees in INR

MBA (General)                     48,500 INR

MBA (HR)                              48,500  INR

Executive MBA                     60,000 INR

The Bharati Vidyapeeth Distance MBA Program: Awards and Reviews

Reviews of the distance MBA program at Bharati Vidyapeeth University state that the university is well-known and regarded for its achievements and calibre. The university is one of the top 10 in India. The Bharati Vidyapeeth University has received permission and an "A" Grade from the National Assessment and Accreditation Council (NAAC), New Delhi. The Government of India and the Ministry of Human Resource Development have both recognized the institution and given it an "A" Grade.

Some of the most well-known people have helped their nation progress, and some have earned degrees from Bharati Vidyapeeth University. A good clue is if the university places more than 90% of its students in reputable companies. The institution has also planned many important national seminars and conferences for its students. A state-of-the-art technology infrastructure at the university includes amenities like Wi-Fi, LAN, CCTV Cameras, Smart Classes, Digital Libraries, Bio Attendance, and many others.

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[starshipsofstarlord]

Online dating

darcy lewis x reader / masterlist

summary; darcy decides to try a dating app, least to say, the guy isn’t anything like his picture. and thus she ditches him, and finds someone else in a hot second / warnings; the oc guys in this fic are dicks, homophobia, darcy being bae, swearing, mentions of sex and cheating, mentions of joy x reader.

he was a polar opposite to what he had portrayed his online self to be, screw the internet! this date was truly tragic, darcy had plenty of things that she could be better using her time for, rather than sitting opposite this oaf, that was licking his unappealing lips, and staring at the waitress when he thought that she didn’t notice.

“huh?” the scientific doctor pulled her phone out, ushering a puzzled expression on her face as she stared at the blank screen. she of course recognised that no one was making any attempts to contact her, but he didn’t know that. “one second.” she held her finger up, bringing the phone to her ear as she blabbered into the speaker that was inherently catching nothing that she was saying.

“slow down jane.” darcy falsely ushered, using her hands to exaggerate the conversation in her head. she put the phone down, a facade of panic elaborating behind her spectacle adorned eyes as she grabbed her belongings in a frenzy, standing upright and out of her seat. “im so sorry, my friend has just hit some guy with her car and she needs some moral support. tonight is going to have to be cut extremely short.”

short was a relief, but the hopeful expression on this dude’s face wasn’t. perhaps it was cruel to leave this guy hanging, and well, she couldn’t blame him for wanting more, she sent him an awkward smile as he began to speak. “we should do this again some time - properly.” darcy wasn’t dumb, she noticed how his eyes sped to the side as the curvy waitress walked by.

“sure...” no, definitely not. darcy was well aware that she was wasting her time with this moron, she didn’t need a man, let alone a dweeb of one. a quick wave was all she bade him as she exited the coffee shop, only to become engrossed in a scene erupting on the local streets. there was a woman, flinging shirts, and a bra within the bundle that looked as though it was not her size, what was she thinking, clearly it wasn’t, at said example of figurative masculinity.

“screw you durkus!” any guy named ‘durkus’ was basically a label confirming that he was a dick. “i don’t need you, nor the next man! i am a well established woman who has done more for this country than you could ever know, you’re dust beneath my feet, a pathetic layer of residue that i want nothing more to brush off.” perhaps she was being harsh, but it sounded like he deserved it.

from the red lipstick, that the woman was not at all sporting, from the random bra that she had flung at her partner, it was a safe bet to assume that he had cheated on her. darcy plodded closer, listening whimsically in, and realising that her life was pretty calm, there were no longer asguardians or dark elves infiltrating her life, nor the work that she had attained to field in.

she had only recently earned herself the title of doctor, and it was frustrating that people would assume that she opted for a profession in a hospital room, or they would forget the professional endorsement all together, and address her as ‘miss lewis’. she was no one’s puppet, she had scaled herself up the ladder of her career to be where she was now, but another thing that she was alongside such a wave of potential was a feminist.

this dick was shouting in the streets, calling her inexplicable names such as a ‘whore’, and a ‘two faced bitch’. having the ability to hear the insults brew anger in her stomach, she couldn’t just stand there. “what are you going to do, turn into a complete lesbian?” now that was the last straw, it had darcy marching over, and promptly she shoved the guy, making him drop all the items that were grasped in the basket of his arms.

a flabbergasted ‘huh’ was riveted from him, and it made darcy smirk as she attuned his attention towards her; the stranger that had gotten involved in his public display of disrespect and homophobia. “how about you watch your damned mouth before i make sure you can’t open it again. and whilst you’re at it, get some new shirts, you’re not a model, unless you’re the kind that are put on prison pamphlets.”

“who the fuck are you?” he spat his saliva on the ground by darcy’s feet, establishing her with the information that her first impression of this dick had been correct. women just knew with this kind of thing, they could sense trouble from a mile away. “you know what, keep that crazy bitch. maybe you can help her store her katanas, and go on double dates with danny rand and his plus one. rather you than me.”

“don’t ask.” the woman shook her head, tired of the drama that durkus always seemed to bring. she had enough trouble, involving work and extracurricular night time activities, without him adding to them. darcy presented her with a sweet smile, picking up the box of random bits and bobs that was on the floor. “that’s just work stuff, i’m moving offices and as i came to collect some things from our apartment, and i found him- well let’s just say he wasn’t alone.”

“that was pretty easy to pick up on. how’d you not realise that you were dating a total sleaze?” she was blunt with her enquiry, though the woman shrugged, a guilty expression cowering upon your features, like an ashamed shadow. a small, attractive smile graced her lips, secrets hidden beneath the span of the expression.

“oh, i knew. i just had to pretend to be happy, so that my ex, or well now, my other ex joy would stop chastising me, claiming that i haven’t got over her. she’s so up her own ass sometimes and it drives me- shit, i’m sorry, you don’t know me, nor do you need to hear about my problems.” the y/h/c haired woman shook her head, stretching her hand out to miss lewis. “i’m y/n, thanks a bunch for helping me out back there.”

darcy accepted her handshake, completing the action as she smiled. “i’m darcy.” this woman didn’t need to know about her doctor title, in fact, darcy was keen on knowing everything about her instead. “so’d how you meet him?” referring to the person that had most recently became y/n’s ex. y/n was relieved that darcy had shown up, she was sure she’d have used her martial art training for more than composition; she’d have kicked durkus’ flat ass.

“on a dating app.” it was a normal answer, she wouldn’t share the intel that before that she had saved his ass whilst wearing a black hood, stopping him from getting mugged in the dead of night. perhaps she should have saved someone else that particular late evening. darcy couldn’t help but let a small laugh out, finding both their circumstances quite amusing. she was sure a similar situation would have unfolded if she had decided to regularly see the date that she ditched.

“online dating man, it sucks, am i right?” it had quite the reputation, for the two of them especially. “maybe we should just date each other.” she joked, though she was being partially serious. it felt right, they had bumped randomly into one another’s faulted situations on the same day, it almost felt like fate, though that subject was too cheesy to say aloud.

“well doctor lewis, i would not at all mind going on a date with you.” darcy frowned at the title that she had been called, pointing at the side of the woman’s jacket, that had a recyclable label stuck upon the material. “so you majored in science, if i am correct?” finally, someone got it! she could get used to that.

y/n did not appear as a deity nor a creature from another realm, she was normal. or so as far as the eye could tell, in fact, she did not suspect a thing from this woman, much less to be a defender of the earth that worked in a small and less know league than the avengers, yet still roamed the us to protect its people.

darcy though had won this battle for her though, giving her a moment of peace from fighting, and had idly sent durkus on his route far away. y/n could get used to not being the hero all the time, more so if this doctor was her knight in shining armour.

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[onceattwice]

TWICE Reaction: Wisdom Teeth

PAIRING: TWICE x Reader

REQUEST: can i request twice’s s/o getting their wisdom tooth out and being all cute and crazy not knowing what she is doing.

TAGS: Fluff

NOTES: This was really fun to write on! To whomever requested this one: thank you and sorry this took so long to get out!

WORD COUNT: 5,403

IM NAYEON

Nayeon sat in the waiting room, idly flipping through a couple of magazines. Every so often, she would check her watch, internally counting down the minutes before she could see you again. You should be finished at five o’clock. Of course, she’d come thirty minutes early just in case, since she was your ride home. 

She stifled a laugh as soon as she saw that Dr. Choi had rolled you out of the surgery room. You looked like you were blackout drunk. “Y/N is still a little hazy from the laughing gas but they should be good to go in a couple of minutes. We suggest you keep them here until the laughing gas leaves their system completely.” She nodded quickly, affirming that you would indeed be staying here. 

“I brought some energy drinks for her but I’d rather not have her spill it all over my car,” Nayeon joked lightly with the surgeon. He chuckled in agreement but quickly excused himself, claiming that he had another appointment to attend to. She politely waved him goodbye. As soon as she had heard the light click of the closed door, she turned around so she could take a proper look at you.

You had your eyes closed, and although it looked like you were sleeping, she wasn’t entirely sure that was the case. Logically, she knew that you were fine and that the doctors here at ‘Kim & Turne’ were Korea’s top-notch oral surgeons. However, that didn’t prevent the small pinch of panic from flowing through her system. She stomped down the impulse to call Dr. Choi back into the room, and instead opted for sitting down in the small metal fold-able chair beside you. 

As soon as she had sat down, you suddenly sprung up like a maniac. Nayeon screamed out in surprise, her arms flailing beside her. “Y/N! What is wrong with you?!”

“Woogly boogly my booty,” you answered with a stern and serious expression. Nayeon sat in complete shock and disbelief. Suddenly, she exploded in laughter. 

“What in the world are you talking about?” Instinctively, she reached for her camera. From the many years of living with Jeongyeon and Momo, she’s learned to just go with the flow and capture whatever you were saying so that she could use it as blackmail later down the road. Nayeon was a little sad that she wasn’t able to capture your first line, but at least now she’d be able to record the rest of it.

“You’re really pretty, are you dating anybody?” Your words were slurred together, almost as if you were a foreigner to the language. Swaying side to side, she noticed that you were starting to interest in your arms. 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 

“Are you dating my arms? My arms look pretty gnarly, I should’ve known it was a bad idea to make them my wingmen.” 

She cackled at your response. Although she very much did enjoy your arms—as being wrapped around them was one of her favourite nighttime activities—she would not go as far as to say that she was dating your arms.

“Nope, not your arms. I found something much better.” She zoomed in to your gaping mouth. Your eyes were a little unfocused, but she found hints of disappointment and disbelief within them. 

“How cold of you, you’re hurting their feelings! So cold, to break up with them right in front of me. So cold.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, mumbling nonsense in an attempt to comfort them. 

“I think you’d be glad to know that you’re actually dating me,” she chuckled in amusement. You were being so ridiculous at the moment, but she also found your actions to be quite endearing. 

“Oh great, I’m a homewrecker!” You broke free from your arms, extending them as far out in front of you as possible. Nayeon expertly dodged them. Again, years of training from avoiding Sana’s grabby hands. However, Nayeon didn’t have much experience when it came to you crying. Thus, she was absolutely bewildered when you looked up and you had tears streaming down your face. 

“My arms have always been there for me. I can’t believe I just betrayed them like that! What kind of human am I?” Wailing in despair, you slumped back down onto the medical bed. Nayeon just stood there, not knowing what to do. Honestly, she found the entire conversation to be quite entertaining, but now that you were crying, she had no idea what to make of the situation.

“There, there,” she awkwardly patted your back, in the hopes that you would stop crying. At this point, she still had her camera pointed towards you, expecting you to surprise her with another one of your mood swings. But instead, you just lied there with your eyes closed. 

Shaking her head in disbelief, but with a hint of fondness, she tilted the camera towards herself and said to the lenses, “You are never going on laughing gas again.” 

YOO JEONGYEON

Jeongyeon was fully aware of the effects of nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas. That’s why she’s currently seated in the waiting room with a professional Canon EOS RP camera. She tried to convince Jihyo to be her “light person”, but unfortunately she declined, claiming that she was not going to get wrapped up in her shenanigans again. 

Your relationship with Jeongyeon was quite a silly one. Neither of you were scared to make a fool of yourselves. Therefore, this lead to the creation of an album titled “HAHA”. It was filled to the brim with silly video clips of both of you. Admittedly, it wasn’t a very original name. However, in one of the earliest clips, Jeongyeon produced her signature ‘haha’ laugh. Except she then proceeded to choke on her rice cake. 

She was cleaning her lens when the doctor informed her that you would be stationed at one of the private waiting rooms. They claimed you were being a little too energetic and proposed that she stayed there with you until the gas left your system entirely. She readily agreed and happily made her way to the room. 

Jeongyeon had seen her fair share of laughing gas videos online, most of which consisted of hysterical laughing, inappropriate questions, and overall confusion. However, she was not expecting to see you flopping around on the medical bed in complete tears. She faintly debated filming you just because you looked like a fish on land, but ultimately decided that’d be a little mean.

Your eyes were bloodshot and you had small drops of snot leaking out of your nose. She immediately ran over to you, leaving her equipment by the door. “What’s wrong?”

“My legs are gone! They cut them off!” You were hiccuping and furiously wiping away at your traitorous tears. 

“No, they’re not.” Jeongyeon deadpanned. 

“Well then explain why I can’t walk!” You wailed as you sniffled angrily. Truthfully, Jeongyeon thought you looked like a small baby. In a way, it was kind of cute how upset you were. She sighed and tilted her head at you. 

“Yes, you can. You just haven’t tried yet.” This seemed to provoke you even further. 

“Yes, I have! Look.” You proceeded to throw yourself on the ground. She gasped in shock, scared that you might have hurt yourself. Before she could even process the situation, you began to flop around. Jeongyeon bent down and placed her hands on your arms in an attempt to try and calm you down.

“For the love of all that is holy, please stop moving.” She laughed as she tried to control your relentless squirming. Too busy enjoying the scene, she completely forgot about her camera. You were pouting, desperately trying to escape her hold. 

Soon after, the sound of the door opening resonated throughout the room. Jeongyeon looked up to see a young lady enter the room. She was wearing scrubs and introduced herself. After hearing a lot of commotion from outside, she just wanted to come and check-in with you guys. 

Before your girlfriend could reply, you looked up at the nurse, eyes crazed, and shouted, “Look! I’m as useless as Magikarp now. I’m a Magikarp! Mag-i-karp!” 

There was a small pause. Suddenly, Jeongyeon and the nurse both burst out laughing. Both of them were so caught off guard by your sudden exclamation. Tears began to spring up in Jeongyeon’s eyes as she doubled over in laughter. Gosh, you were just too darn adorable. Right this moment, she decided that she was going to keep you forever. 

The nurse propped her arms on a nearby counter in an attempt to stabilize herself before she collapsed in laughter. “Please tell me you got that on camera.” 

“Oh shoot!”      

HIRAI MOMO

Momo was already seated in the private patient waiting room. The doctors informed her that you would be wheeled into the room after the surgery and that she could either take you straight home or wait for the laughing gas to wear off. She decided that she would be taking you home straight away as you would likely be more comfortable there. 

You got wheeled into the room looking absolutely dazed. Momo thought it was quite funny that you were sat in a wheelchair. She quickly thanked the assistant, grabbed the chair handles, and prepared to push you out of that center. However, before she could move, a plethora of incoherent mumbling flowed out of your mouth. 

“Hm?” She bent down in an attempt to try and hear you better. Leaning over your shoulder, her eyes trained on your mouth as she tried to piece together what you were mumbling.

“I said I want kisses.” You turned your head up slightly, pouting as you tried to catch Momo’s lips in yours. 

Momo’s face immediately flushed as she swiftly backed away. She stood up, back straight as a board, and pointedly avoided the assistant’s stare. A boisterous laugh echoed through the room. 

“I’ll leave you guys alone.” The click of a closed-door helped to indicate to Momo that the assistant had left the room. 

“I-I’m not too sure that’s a good idea. You just finished your surgery after all.” 

A sharp whine escaped your throat and you begin to thrash around in your chair. Momo’s eyes widened in surprise as she tried to stabilize the chair. But to her dismay, her hands fumbled and the wheelchair completely tipped over with you in it. Various pitched squeaks escaped her throat as she desperately ran over to check your body for injuries. 

There you lied, completely motionless but still laughing like a maniac. Crouching down, she lightly scolded you for acting so carelessly. However, you just opened your arms up wide and tried to pull her into a hug. Momo was so caught off guard that before she knew it, she was lying on the ground with your arms wrapped around her torso. Her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment as you rocked her back and forth. 

“I caught my prize,” you whispered into her ear, causing Momo to become flustered for a different reason. 

“Oh yeah?” She patted your head, deciding to play along with you for now. However, she was only met with silence. Confused, she pulled away slightly so that she could look into your eyes. She doesn’t quite know what she was expecting but she definitely wasn’t expecting to see you looking back at her with the softest gaze ever. Speckles of love splashed across your irises, making Momo’s heart flutter uncharacteristically.

“Yeah.” You smiled dopily at her. 

“And what’s the prize?” She whispered seductively into your ear, relaxing a little in your arms. If you were going to be so cute and cuddly, then she was going to enjoy it while it lasted. ‘Thank god we’re still in the post-surgery private room,’ Momo briefly thought. 

“A big fried rice cake,” You replied, squeezing her even tighter in your grasp. 

“Big?” Momo squeaked indignantly. That was not what she thought you were going to say. 

“Indeedly so!” 

“You’re sooo sleeping on the couch tonight!” 

MINATOZAKI SANA

Sana drove over to the building at which you were currently undergoing surgery for your wisdom teeth. In theory, she would arrive right when you finished. She was your ride home since you wouldn’t be able to drive home yourself. 

When she arrived at the clinic, they immediately directed her into a small white room after she checked in with the receptionist. After closing the heavy wooden door behind her, she quickly scanned the room for you whilst also taking note of the slick interior design. 

There you were, situated on one of their hospital beds with a nurse gently holding your arm. She was mumbling something that Sana couldn’t quite make out, but it seemed to relax you. She huffed, a little annoyed because the nurse was a little too close for her liking. Clearing her throat with a sharp ‘ahem’, Sana stood by the front of the door, staring at the woman expectantly. The nurse quickly acknowledged Sana’s presence and politely stepped away from you.

After she explained that the gas would leave your system soon, she left the room in a hurry. Grateful for the privacy that the room allowed the two of you to have, she quickly stomped on over to you and started to inspect your face. There was slight bruising in your cheeks but nothing to be concerned about. 

However, what was concerning was the fact that you had tears streaming down your cheeks. You looked up at her with a small pout and glistening eyes. She furrowed her brows in confusion and instantly situated herself in the remaining space on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“My dog is dead,” you mumbled dejectedly, voice filled to the brim with pain and sorrow. Sana, however, could only chuckle in amusement. She had no clue what you were going on about. 

“Honey, you don’t have a dog.” She rubbed your back comfortingly, hoping to calm you down a little. Your only response was a cry of despair. 

“Well, I don’t anymore! It’s dead!” You buried your face into her neck, weeping miserably. You clung onto her white shirt, soaking her shoulder with your heartfelt tears. 

Sana thought you were being extremely adorable. She softened a little at how much you cared about your supposed ‘dead dog’. Honestly, it was a true reflection of how much of a loving and emotional person you were. She wrapped her arms around your torso and lightly rocked you back and forth. She never really knew how to comfort you with words when you were crying, but she was a master at physical contact. 

Your sniffles resonated throughout the room, but you were finally starting to calm down a little. Sana’s hand cupped your cheek, bringing it away from her neck. You let out a small whine in protest but she just rolled her eyes. Giving you a quick peck on your forehead, she wiped away the remainders of your tears. 

If Sana were, to be honest though, this whole situation was more than a little amusing to her. You didn’t even like dogs, you much preferred cats. She genuinely had no idea where you got your ‘dog’ from. She booped your nose lightly and giggled playfully when your eyes suddenly went hazy and unfocused. 

Maybe she could have a little fun with this. Deciding to indulge your laughing gas antics, she softly asked, “What was your dog’s name?” 

Once again, a couple of tears welled up in your eyes. When you jutted out your bottom lip, Sana, in turn, cooed at how adorably soft you looked. She reckoned she looked much of the same whenever she was around you though. Her love for you goes beyond plain-

“Her name was Sana.”

You got pushed off of the bed. 

PARK JIHYO

She double-checked her bag before getting a manager to drive her over to the clinic. Jihyo didn’t trust herself to drive the car as she knew she would likely be spending the entire ride taking care of you. Thus, she got a manager to come with so that they could drive on the way home. 

When she arrived, she immediately got led to the room that you were staying in. After your two-hour wisdom teeth surgery, they had placed you in a private post-surgery room with an assistant to watch over you until your girlfriend arrived. When she entered the room, the assistant left. On his way out, he reminded Jihyo to sign some papers at the front desk before leaving. Jihyo agreed readily to his request.

As soon as he was gone, she ran over to your side. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a hamburger on crack,” you replied groggily. Jihyo raised an eyebrow in confusion. Had the laughing gas not left your system yet?

“Do you think you can stand?” She placed a hand on your elbow, gently tugging it. This prompted you to slowly stand up.

“Do you think my legs ever get sad?” You whispered dejectedly as you directed a small pout towards Jihyo. She led you away from the bed, carefully thinking of a response in the meantime. 

“No, I don’t think they do sweetie.” 

“They carry me everywhere but I’ve never carried them!” You reasoned with Jihyo, panic flooding into your eyes at the thought. Bewildered, Jihyo looked back at you. She opened her mouth to tell you to stop being so ridiculous, but to her surprise, tears were falling from your eyes. Your bottom lip trembled as you anxiously played with your fingers. 

“I’m a terrible human.” 

“I don’t think it’s physically possible to...carry your legs.” Jihyo giggled, a little amused by your antics. 

“I’ll never know until I try.” Your girlfriend let out a high pitched yelp as she watched you drop yourself onto the floor. In a desperate attempt to try and carry your legs, you hugged them close to your chest and started to shake your bum on the floor. 

Jihyo laughed as a constipated look overtook your features. You were slowly scooching forward on the clinic’s dirty marble floor. 

“Dear god this is embarrassing,” she grinned as Jihyo pulled out her iPhone. A true testimony to her impeccable idol skills, she somehow managed to capture some flattering angles—as flattering as one could look wiggling on the floor—of you. She quickly sent the 30-second clip to the TWICE group chat, thoroughly enjoying your small lapse of judgement due to the gas. 

A couple of minutes later, although you were still a little woozy from the laughing gas, you did seem to be thinking a little clearer. The hazy look disappeared from your eyes as they did a small scan of the room. 

“Why am I on the floor?” You asked Jihyo confused. All you got was a cheeky wink as laughter carried throughout the room. 

MYOUI MINA

To be quite honest, Mina was a little terrified. She’s never taken care of someone post-surgery before and she was more than a little anxious that she wouldn’t do a good job. She had done plenty of research beforehand of all the foods you could and couldn’t have, as well as some special aftercare techniques to ensure you wouldn’t get an infection. By all means, she was completely prepared. However, she didn’t feel as though she was. 

Mina had definitely seen her fair share of laugh gas videos online so she kind of knew what to expect. But when you got wheeled into the room, looking as hammered as can be, Mina began to freak out. The nurse quickly reassured her that yes, that was normal and that no, you would not look like that forever. She let out a sigh of relief. Truth be told, she much preferred your original face.  

When the assistant left the room, Mina sat patiently, waiting for you to say something weird. She reasoned that she just had to let you do whatever you wanted to do and that there was no real way for her to stop you. She just prayed you wouldn’t reveal anything too...scandalous about your relationship. You also did not need to air out any dirty laundry either.

However, to her immense surprise, you just sat there staring at her with a look of wonder. “Y/N?” She whispered cautiously, careful not to set you off on a tangent although realistically she understood that that is not how laughing gas works.

“Can we cuddle? I miss you.” You responded in a tone that was just as gentle as the one Mina had used. She blinked twice, a little confused, but ultimately decided to grant your wishes. You rarely ever asked for physical affection, not to mention in such a careful and fragile voice. 

She climbed onto the clinic bed, careful to not rock it too much. You didn’t seem to mind too much though as you hastily, and quite clumsily, made room for her to sit. As soon as she got herself situated on the bed, you wrapped your arms around her torso in a huge bear hug and pulled her down into a lying position. 

A small puff of air escaped her lips due to her surprise but she quickly grew comfortable as the familiar scent of your laundry detergent filled her senses. From there on, you didn’t say much. You would periodically shift a little, burying your face into her neck, but aside from that, you didn’t say a thing.

A nice peaceful calm settled in the air. Mina let out a sigh of relief, secretly glad that she didn’t have to take care of a crazed version of you. 

“I love you.” Your words were muffled against her sweater, but the meaning was not lost on Mina. She cooed slightly at how adorable you were being. You guys rarely said those three words, only saving them for special occasions. That way, it made them sound even more meaningful than usual. 

She let out a small breathless chuckle, her cheeks red at the implication of your words. “I love you too.” 

KIM DAHYUN

Did she look like a tourist with that huge camera bag swung across her chest? Yes. Did she look ridiculous? Also yes. As soon as Dahyun had arrived at the clinic, she requested to have a private post-surgery room. Of course, they complied with her wishes. After all, she was Kim Dahyun of Twice. 

She had managed to drag one of the managers into the room with her. The manager was in charge of setting up the lights as she positioned the camera. Her experience of being an idol was coming into handy. Dahyun knew just how to get the perfect angle so that you would still look pretty, even if you were acting absolutely ridiculous. 

A knock on the door shook Dahyun out of her concentrated stupor. “Please come in!” 

When the employees helped you into the room, they were surprised to see such a professional set up. They were also surprised to see the manager sitting in the corner, panting from exhaustion. Dahyun shot them a disarming smile. Confused and slightly scared, they gently led you to the clinic bed before swiftly exiting the room. 

Dahyun clapped her hands together in excitement. Now comes the fun part! However, much to her dismay, all you did was lie on the bed with your eyes closed. You weren’t acting like those people that she saw on YouTube. Dahyun pouted, a little disappointed that you were taking a big nap. At least you looked kind of cute with that big bandage wrapped around your head. 

She smiled lovingly, albeit a bit defeated, and began to dismantle her camera and lights. Just as she turned off the camera, she heard you let out a small groan of pain. Her head snapped in your direction. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” 

You groaned again in response. Dahyun carefully set her camera on the ground before approaching you. When she arrived beside you, she noticed that you were holding your leg. Pain crossed your features as you mumbled a bunch of nonsensical phrases. 

“What’s wrong?” Panic flowed through her veins as she desperately searched your body for wounds. Had the surgeons messed up? Before she could come to a conclusion, you suddenly shot up, completely dismissing your previous leg pain. Dahyun yelped as she jumped back in surprise. You stared at her, a serious expression crossing your features. 

“I have the sexiest legs in this entire universe.”

Dahyun blinked twice.

“Huh?”

“My legs are sexier than Momos. My legs are so hot they could fry perfect sunny side eggs.” You then proceeded to place your index finger on your thigh as you made an unnaturally loud-sounding sizzle, all while looking very constipated. 

Dahyun let out a boisterous laugh, completely caught off guard by your actions. She could even hear the manager laughing along with her. 

“Yes, your legs are very hot,” She placated. However, instead of calming down like she thought you would, you began to pout even more. Crossing your arms around your chest, you turned yourself away from her. 

“I bet you think Momo’s legs are hotter.” 

My god, you were adorable. Dahyun stifled a laugh by cupping her hands around her mouth. “Sure sounds like someone’s jealous.”

“Of those dumbbell looking legs? Never.” You snorted, a little offended that she would ever insinuate otherwise. Dahyun let out a very amused laugh. 

She was definitely going to tell Momo you said that. 

SON CHAEYOUNG

Was she going to take advantage of your laughing gas situation? Yes. Was she going to paint your face and then take photos for blackmail? Also yes. 

Chaeyoung happily collected her various brushes, as well as her colourful palette of paints, and gently placed them in an art bag. Soon, she would be departing from the dorms and on her way to the clinic. To her calculations, she should arrive as soon as you finished your wisdom teeth surgery. 

“Maybe I could paint Y/N as Mona Lisa.” She adopted a thoughtful expression but quickly tossed that particular idea in the trash can. “Nah, I like the clown idea better.” 

When she arrived, she noticed that she was receiving quite a few odd looks from the receptionists. Chaeyoung looked down at her bulging black bag. Now that she took a proper look at it, it did kind of look like a body bag. She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “Ah, just some outfits for my next photo-shoot,” She said. You know, like an absolute liar.

They nodded understandingly and seemed to quickly forget about her presence as they went back to work. Soon after, Chaeyoung was directed into a small white room with waxed wooden floors. They told her to wait here as they went to grab you. She bounced in her seat in excitement, mentally preparing herself to make you the prettiest clown in the entire universe. 

You got wheeled in on a white bed, seemingly asleep. Chaeyoung grinned evilly as soon as the assistant had left the room. “Attack!” She screamed her battle cry before whipping out her brushes. 

She made quick work of the paint, mixing various colours expertly to get just the right shade of red. Truth be told, she was a little skeptical as to why you were not waking up. However, she got so caught up in her work, she quickly forgot about it. 

A couple of minutes in, she had already successfully, although a little messily, painted the white around your eyes and lips. She also managed to finish the red nose and cheeks. All in all, she was pretty proud of herself. In-between sessions, she would take photos of you from various angles. When she took a quick step back, she realized you looked absolutely comical. 

Laughing in amusement, she decided to stop there and just let you wake up naturally. Washing her brushes in the nearby sink, she eyed you carefully, excited to see what you would do after you woke up. 

When you eventually did wake up, you stared at her groggily, confusion contorting your facial features. Chaeyoung stifled a laugh. The clown makeup was truly spectacular. Dare she say it was her best work yet. 

It was time for the reveal. Chaeyoung opened her phone camera and directed it to your face. At first, you were extremely surprised by the sight. However, you didn’t say anything. You just touched your face gently, pinching and stretching your skin. She chuckled at how adorably confused you looked. 

“I guess the laughing gas still hasn’t left your system yet,” Chaeyoung deducted. 

“Chae?” You mumbled, a little disoriented. She hummed playfully, happily awaiting for your response. She desperately wanted to hear your thoughts. You looked up at her in amazement, eyes full of wonder. “The plastic surgery was a complete success. I look gorgeous.” 

Chaeyoung doubled over in laughter, hitting her head on the bed in the process. 

Sure, she later ended up in the ER, diagnosed with a slight concussion. And on top of that, after the laughing gas left your system and you realized what Chaeyoung had done, you started to ignore her, despite her best efforts to cheer you up. 

However, it was all worth it in the end because she really did get some amazing blackmail photos. 

CHOU TZUYU

Tzuyu, despite her member’s constant reassurance, was still a little scared about having to take care of you. She’s never had any of her friends or family members have surgery. And the time that Jihyo had received her knee surgery, Tzuyu wasn’t even around her. Jihyo had stayed home with her parents, absent from all of their scheduled activities. 

She nervously played with her fingers, patiently awaiting your arrival. When you finally did arrive in the post-surgery room, she was so stunned by the immediate bruising of your cheeks, she had barely paid any attention to what the assistant had told her. 

When she realized that she had zoned out, she sheepishly asked the employee to repeat it. They smiled kindly before quickly giving her a small summary of what they said before leaving the room. 

According to the assistant, you were to stay there until all of the laughing gas had left your system. You might say or do weird things, but that was all normal. Tzuyu pulled out her phone and quickly set her timer for ten minutes. That should be enough time for the effects to wear off. She sat ramrod straight, a little awkward and unsure of what to do next.

However, when you groaned in apparent pain, she immediately rushed to your side. “Are you okay? Where does it hurt?” She grabbed your hands, hoping some physical contact would help comfort you. 

“My tummy.” That was not the answer she was expecting. 

“Your stomach?” She asked bewildered. You just had a wisdom teeth surgery, there was absolutely no reason for your stomach to be hurting. She patted your stomach lightly whilst staring at your face, trying to pinpoint where exactly the pain was coming from. 

Another small groan left your throat as she apparently touched a sore spot just above your belly button. Tzuyu was definitely panicking by now. Her eyes shot back and forth as she scanned the rest of your body. What had they done to you?

“You fill my tummy with butterflies.” You grinned cheekily at her, any supposed pain was quickly forgotten. She gaped at your words, unsure of what to say. Tzuyu’s cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree, the redness quickly reaching the tips of your ears. There was no reason to be so nervous, she reasoned with herself.

Dear god, you were being adorable. Even under the influence of laughing gas, you were still a smooth talker. She giggled as the sudden invasive feeling of being a high school student with a crush filled her system. She felt oddly flattered and more than little flustered. Her eyes softened as her entire body relaxed. 

However, your expression quickly suddenly turned serious. “I’d appreciate it if you could stop though. I need that room for food.” 

Tzuyu burst out in laughter, completely caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanour. Yup, there was no reason to be nervous after all. 

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 9 - Housewives living in Yamagata prefecture referred to prosecutors for insulting Kawasaki Nozomi.

K: Hi, This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, getting started with another episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san,Tasai san, welcome.

J, T: Pleased to be here.

K: Ok, so today's theme, Joe?

J: Yes, lets take a look at this news. 'Insult to Kawasaki Nozomi. "She gives me the creeps". Housewives in Yamagata prefecture referred to prosecutors....

A 39 year old woman from Yamagata and a 45 year old female medical worker from Osaka are being referred to Tokyo area prosecutors by Harajuku police station. According to staff at Harajuku police station, the pair are suspected of exchanging insults like "She gives me the creeps" about Kawasaki on an online public parenting platform between the 8th and 9th of April. They both admit to the charge.'

Just from reading this, being referred to prosecutors for saying 'she gives me the creeps' is a bit..

T: Well, yeh, but if you look in more detail, over three years they actually wrote on this parenting forum stuff like, 'She should miscarry' or ' 'she's creepy', also 'she's insolent', 'lets set fire to her house', *1, quite extreme things.

J: So we don't actually know thier reason for writing this stuff do we?

T: They wanted to send a message to Kawasaki Nozomi's husband's blog, but they were blocked, or unable to do so for some reason, im not sure. This made them angry and they directed thier rage towards his wife.

J: They probably shouldn't target his wife, and getting that upset because they couldn't send a message..I don't really know.

K: Its not very clever, right?

J: Yeah, its really not.

T: Also, 'defamation', I havn't heard this in a while.

J: Yeh, well Kawasaki san probably felt some damage to her honour, and in reality, if they come near her house, its coming close to interference in her business. The police probably thought this kind of 'defamation' was grounds for referrering the case to prosecutors. Another possibility is that  Kawasaki san hired a lawyer, who may have said they same thing....So, this happened on an online forum? I think we talked about this happening with someone else before, but how far can slandering be forgiven? I mean, in this case its being reffered to prosecutors, so, well, when does it become a crime? I think this is a really difficult point. This kind of thing hasn't been made clear in detail, but it may have similar requisites as harassment. But like, how far do you have to go for it to be sexual harassment?, how far to..???*2. This type of thing isn't specified in criminal law. I think this is a problem that will have different interpretations, that will change depending on the information. So, Kaoru, as an artist with your name and face in the public eye, you must get lots of supportive messages. But at the same time, you probably also get some not so supportive messages. How far can you tolerate those? Of course, even one nasty thing can hurt, but what what would you consider worth talking to the police about, for example?

K: Well, I havn't had anything as bad as this, but...???*3 seems creepy to me.

J, T: For sure 

J: And in this case, Kawasaki san hasn't even done anything! She's just in the wrong place. Right from the start its like, 'Why me?!'

K: Yeh, cause she's pregnant isn't she?..with that..its scary isn't it?

J, T: It is.

T: So, Kawasaki san is a former AKB 48 member, and after she quit, she started up her own company and was quite successful, she's been categorized as a winner, there might be people who are jealous of her. But to this extent..?

K: Well, they wrote it thinking that they wouldn't be exposed, didn't they?

T: Do people get exposed?

K, J: They do.

J: But why would they intentionally write this on a public forum? Wouldn't you normally spout your jealousy at a bar or something, after a few drinks?

K: But this is the same as that.

J: They simply write it?

K: I think so.

J: Like a kind of public execution?

K: No, I don't think they are thinking that much about it.

T: I think people need to be more aware of how scary SNS can be.

K: People are writing stuff with no thought, so i also think its ok to ignore it really. Its a person writing wierd stuff off the cuff, its all over...I mean, recently.???? There are tonnes of people writing stuff without thinking. And then people see all these comments just like that...writing just like that, and seeing just like that. Strangely, you need to be able to ...???, and you need to be able to brush it off . You'll still always encounter SNS or online info, thats how I feel about it *4.

J: I see.

T: There have been sucides in Korea, famous people have committed suicide, because they got affected by what people wrote online. So it happens in other countries too.

K: Well, it does affect you, the first time you see it.

J: Well, yes. When I do radio I get called all kinds of names *the others laugh*, recently, ive gotten, '????', to one of my shows. And these people get carried away, right, so it just increases more. They just come out with insult after insult*5, like 'are you still at it?!' ...well, i think, at least they are listening, so im kind of thankful.

K: Yeah, yeah.

J: Like, im just always talking, it could be kinda annoying, so if theres someone out there listening, im grateful. *T laughing*

T: Doesn't it bother you, Joe?

J: Not usually, no. But sometimes they hit in a sensitive spot, right? *K, T laugh*

J: It shouldn't be a big deal ...but....right? Some people will even cry on the train home. Even though it hasn't been a big deal until now, some people will cry about it. Especially if im also having a tough time with work or personal life, it stings.

K: Well, you are only human.

J: Right.

Kami: It happens to me too.

J: Oh, Kami's here.

Kami: Yeah, that happens to me.

T: You're not bothered by that though are you?

J: Yeah, you're a god.

Kami: Well, they say im no big deal, unreliable, or useless or something like that, loads of things are said about me...'you cheater ' and such.

T: *laughs*

J: You cheater?

K: Cheater..? What did he do?

J: Yeah!

K: No, I havn't done anything! I havn't done anything. Maybe its because, they'll give thier shrine donation but I don't do anything in return.

J: Oh, that more like a case of money trasfer fraud in the end?

Kami: Well, yeah.

T: Are you doing well at your part time job   Kami?

Kami: Yeah, im doing well.

J: Are you?

Kami: Yeah, I am, i am.

T: A pseudo account...

K: He's writing on one, right?

Kami: No, if stuff happens to my displeasure, I'll give out bad luck..as a fortune.

K: Did you say, 'I'll give out..' *laughs*

J: Kami, you're scary.

T: He is.

Kami: The people who insult me will go home with bad luck.

J: But there must be people all over the world saying stuff about you..

Kami: Yes, yes, yes.

J: It must be tough to search online for yourself?

Kami: Yes, that is tough.

J: Right?

K: He said once before that he searches for himself online, didn't he?

J: He did..I wonder how many hits you get per day with the god hashtag?

Kami: There are people saying this god is good, or that god is good, or there is only one god, or stuff like that. I don't even know which one they mean.

K: But aren't there many gods, but one in charge, right?

Kami: Who's in charge..im not sure.

*everyone laughs*

J: He doesn't even know?! Maybe you're a cheater because you're not even real?!

Kami: Some people say that about me.

J: Ok, prove to us now that you're real. At least, show us something that you've achieved. If not...if i mention it now, we've never seen you in person since the start, you just came down from the sky, and we just thought you were a god.

K: He just came all of a sudden, right?

J: Right! We've don't even have any proof that you're a god. We've had no choice but to believe you.

Kami: I'll refer it to prosecutors.

J: Eh? What do you mean?

T: Scary!

Kami: As defamation.

*laughing*

J: Oh, if we say stuff about you?

Kami: Yes, yes, its defamation. Bad luck for Joe.

J: Eh? Really? ...by the way, how for would you tolerate people badmouthing you, Kami?

Kami: Badmouthing?

J: Are there any insults where you think, 'This is really awful!'?

Kami: No, the things that are said about me are, im no big deal, that im unreliable, not in existence, or useless. That type of thing..'he's a cheater' and such. 

J: I see.

T: Now that you mention it, thats sometimes said about Tokyo Sports too.

J: Yeahh

T: 'Go under'.

Kami: Yeh, its like Tokyo Sports.

J: Do people really say that to you? But you said before, right? Apart from the date, everthing is false. *everyone laughing*. Thats amazing, you can sell papers and make money like that? Is Tokyo Sports originally just like fake news?

T: Well, people all over the world like a good story don't they?

J: I see. Well, it excells in the field of sports newspapers. Tokyo Sports has tonnes of fans, doesn't it?

T: Yeah

K: Tokyo Sports is like, the different one.

J: Yes, its different.

T: Well, im grateful..

J: Really!

T: On the other hand, we aren't respected. The level of respect we get is really low. *the others laugh* But I want to keep eating, so I'll recommend it.

J: Ah, ok. Are you hiring..at Tokyo Sports?

T: No, not really.

J: You're not?

Kami: A normal newspaper puts articles out, right?

T: Yeah.

Kami: But Tokyo Sports is creative.

J: Ahh, yes. They are stories, right?

Kami: Very much like a god.

J: Tokyo Sports like a god?!

T: Will you come and work for us, Kami?..hourly rate 25% bonus.

J: Ohh, 1250yen!

K: What will you make him do?!

Kami: Hmm, hmmm.

T: He could start with cleaning the toilets.

Kami: A night shift would be more money. *laughs*

J: Kami, how about cleaning Tokyo Sports' toilets?

Kami: It would be an outrageous guy who makes a god clean the toilets.

J: No, that would be the real Toilet God*6.

K: ?!...You were aiming with that!

J: Err, yeh...kinda.

*everyone laughing*

K: It seemed on purpose

J: No, no, it just came to me. I thought it would be too good.

T: You sounded serious.

J:I've been exposed...I took a deep breath before I said it. My shoulders moved.

K: His face looks so camp now....Ok, well, lets finish up here. Err, everyone, please subscribe  to this...show?

J: This channel.

K: Please subscribe to this channel..See you next time.

*1 Im not massively good at Japanese slurs.

*2,3 Couldn't catch these bits.

*4 He spoke so fast it all kind blurred onto one, difficult to understand.

*5 He's running off a list of slurs which his listener sent to him. Im not advanced enough in Japanese slurring to grasp each individual one.

*6 There is a toilet god in Japanese folklore, have a google :)

[asking-jude]

hey, hope you are well. I am pretty sure I have misophonia. I have an extremely strong urge to hurt myself, as well as the person making the noise and I don`t know what to do. The thing is, my family makes these triggering noises ALL THE TIME I can't deal with it any more, I am going mad trying not to act as violently as these noises make me want to act. Im scares that I'll snap and hurt myself, or worse, someone else what do I do? please help

Hi love, 

Thank you for contacting Asking Jude. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I was unfamiliar with misophonia, but after doing some research and reading your ask, it must be utterly debilitating. During my research, I learned that this is a rare disorder and not many doctors are aware of it. However, the best course of treatment is to get medical help. I suggest that you talk to your parents about wanting to go see your doctor. From there, you can speak to them about what you’re experiencing. Hopefully, you have a doctor that listens to you and does everything they can to get you the right treatment. However, in case your doctor doesn’t believe you here are some guides on what you can do: 

-  https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/be-heard-by-dr.  - https://www.improvediagnosis.org/dxiq-column/feeling-dismissed-and-ignored-by-your-doctor-do-this/.  - https://www.healthline.com/health/doctors-listen-to-patients#1. 

In the meantime, there are ways for you to cope with misophonia. I found these articles with helpful advice: 

- https://medium.com/better-humans/the-complete-guide-to-coping-with-misophonia-c0c21d2811d2. - https://www.misophoniainternational.com/misophonia-coping-tips/.  - https://www.soundrelief.com/treatments-for-misophonia/.  - https://www.healthline.com/health/misophonia#causes.  - https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-misophonia#1. 

Here are some organizations where you can find added help like online support groups and other resources: 

- Sound Relief Healing Center: https://www.soundrelief.com/.  - Misophonia International: https://www.misophoniainternational.com/.  - Misophonia Institute: https://misophoniainstitute.org/.  - Misophonia Online: http://www.misophonia.com/.  - Misophonia Association: https://misophonia-association.org/.  - Misophonia Treatment Institute: https://misophoniatreatment.com/.  - Allergic to Sound: https://www.allergictosound.com/.  - Misophonia Provider Directory: https://www.misophoniaproviders.com/.  - The Mighty Misophonia Section: https://themighty.com/topic/misophonia/. 

I recommend that you utilize support lines as well. It may be helpful for you to speak to someone. Please be advised that there may be a long wait time due to the high volume due to COVID-19. Helplines are excellent resources because they are free, confidential, and available 24/7. Here are my suggestions:

- Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. 

- 7 Cups of Tea: Visit www.7cups.com or download their app from the IOS or Google Play store to create an account. Once you have, you can chat with a trained volunteer or attend group sessions on several topics. 

- NAMI Helpline: Counselors can be reached  Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, E.T.

1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org 

-  Contact Helpline offers emotional support listening- call 800-932-4616 to get started. 

- Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If you are feeling like you’re going to hurt yourself or feeling like you want to die, please call 1-800-273-8255 to get started or if you prefer to chat online visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. 

I hope that this has given you some guidance and that you’re able to cope with your disorder. It’s okay that you feel this way, but things will get better. If you need any more support, please don’t hesitate to come back to Asking Jude. 

P.S. make sure to check out our YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/c/AskingJude. 

Love,

Meggan 

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

[cheryllcher]

Marinette: Guardian of the Miraculous

part 2

i have too many wips but im writing something else again :)) (woes of a writer/artist/just creators don’t @ me here)

so my brain clearly isn’t prioritising so here’s a really very long lil one shot based on this post i found by @aly4son and it’s pretty cute and fluffy. i decided to make some changes and add some stuff here as well becuz i love fluff hope it’s okayy. this took pretty long becuz i had to figure out how to put everything together ://

and as it stand it is getting way too long so im gonna have to put up a second part whoops.

—

“Hmm… Add a little of this…, a drop of water from the Dragon’s Tears Fountain… Oh, don’t forget the edible glitter…”

Marinette was adding different ingredients to her pot, swirling her wooden spoon at the same time. She was preparing for her final test before she was officially declared the new Guardian of the Miraculous. However, she needed a break from all the formulas and power-up functions. So, she decided to continue playing around with the concoction she’s been working on for weeks, hoping to complete her experiment that afternoon. She knew she could just finish it after her test, but she could feel that she’s so close, and was eager to observe the results.

Ever since she started learning the recipes of the power-up potions, she wondered what other power ups she could try making, if it were possible. She’s been trying over and over again, playing around with different kinds of ingredients. She’d even brought some items from the bakery, if only to give it a little taste and colour. (And also to test a theory of whether it can be used to make power-up potions. It did work out in the end, but only some foods.) She remembered Chat mentioning that Plagg hated those power-up cheese (said it tasted like “liquidy goo you humans take when you’re sick”) and decided to mess around with flavours.

“And… Done! Tikki? Up for another round of taste testing? I think I’ve got it this time!”

“Of course, Marinette! I’m curious though, why did you add the glitter?”

“It’s for flair, for the potion I’m brewing. If this works, you’ll see why I wanted glitter in there.” Marinette threw in a wink, and dipped a little spoon inside the pink, glittery liquid. Tikki floated towards it and took a sniff, noting the scent of champagne coming from it. I wonder if kwamis ever get drunk, didn’t think we’d try that before in all the time we spent in the miracle box.

She quicked sipped the delicious brew, and immediately felt a tingling sensation.

“It’s happening! It worked!”

In a flash of pink, Tikki transformed, her usual self now a sparkling crystal-like texture, her centre spot and tail (?) now dazzling diamonds.

“Wow… Well, what power up is this?”

“It’s called the Elegant power up, ooooooor Exquisite. Haven’t really decided on the name yet. It’s just a little fun power-up I came up with, you know, like a fancy dress transformation.”

“Cool! I’m sure Kaalki would love to try this power-up. It’s glorious.” Tikki laughed at her own little joke.

Oh, how she wished she could snap a photo of Tikki, but kwamis don’t show up on cameras. It was a great accomplishment, and she was really proud of herself. Specially created with an original outfit designed by her, a sketch of the design slowly added into the mixture while it boils. (Another absurd theory that flitted through her mind.) Never thought this crazy idea would work but here we are.

“Alright, I’m going to try transforming. Ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Marinette!”

“Elegant Tikki! Spots on!”

The familiar feeling of transforming washed over Marinette, yet it feels completely different at the same time. The swirls of pink magic disappeared to show a red cocktail dress with exquisite black sequins scattered on silk, the fabric a darker shade of red than what she usually wore. Extremely fancy indeed.

A Mandarin collar wrapped around her neck with a mini brooch which had a symbol engraved into it, a representation of her Chinese heritage and the pattern associated with the Miraculous. The top half had black polka dots, embodying her super-persona’s namesake, along with a matching mask and gloves, both of which had intricate embroidery. Her hair was pulled up into a stylish updo, braids twisted to form a crown above her head. Her red heels has little ladybugs on them, just like the one in her hair. Just how she imagined it.

“Wow, this is even better than what i would have done!” Marinette twirled around, noticing that the outfit has a litte glittery shine to it. Now she wish she would get to wear this someday; she felt like a princess! (Well, it was pretty funny because Chat would always call her civilian self that.)

In the midst of admiring her work, Master Fu walked into the room. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him, and Marinette shrieked, quickly transforming back to her usual self.

“Ah, sorry Master! I was messing around with an idea I had and I completed it just now. Don’t worry, I was practicing potions before that.”

“I’m not mad, Marinette. On the contrary, I’m actually very pleased that you have managed a feat that even my masters were unable to achieve back when I was in training with them. Perhaps I could show it to them when I return for a visit.

“In the mean time, how about you use this power-up for your Guardian officiating ceremony. It is something to celebrate after all and you deserve it.”

Marinette didn’t know what to say. She just thanked the master profusely, grateful for the opportunity to try out her new invention. She didn’t bother trying to refuse because she knows that there would still be one no matter what she says. Master Fu simply waved it off with a chuckle.

“Now, would you like to have your final test today or prefer to still wait for tomorrow? I feel that you are ready.”

—

School was still a priority, being in senior year and all. Marinette could only work on designs during her free time, and with Hawkmoth around those are scarce. Marinette would sometimes sketch out ideas besides finishing her homework, for fear if forgetting them. She absolutely hated it when an idea struck while she was busy fighting an akuma.

Good thing was, she didn’t need to worry about measurements. The miraculous will ensure that everyone’s suits and dresses would fit them to a t. So all she had to do was make sure that the designs represented each of the holders perfectly.

Tikki wholeheartedly agreed that Marinette deserved to be celebrated as the new Guardian, she hadn’t had a holder who was a Guardian since millennias ago. She was positively buzzing with exhilaration, moves animated with so much zest Marinette was afraid she might explode.

Chat was the first person she told about becoming a Guardian. He was surprised, after all he wasn’t aware of her receiving training, but that was short-lived as he immediately tackled Ladybug in a humongous bear hug for her sensational achievement. He even said, and I quote, “My, I’m honoured to be graced with the presence of the great and powerful Guardian of the Miraculous Box,” topped off with an exaggerated bow and a kiss to the knuckles.

He was also ecstatic about the prospect of a new transformation. Ladybug told him to assure Plagg that she had added a different flavour to it, and will add some cheese to his batch on top of infusing it in his beloved camembert. That night, Plagg denied purring loudly in his sleep. (“You were dreaming, Adrien. Hallucinating!”)

Three months of constant sketching and resketching, coloring in and retracing it for the potion, Marinette finally got the designs out. She asked the kwamis for their opinions on the designs, (after a mini celebration of their own, obviously.) and they gave their input. Some even made flavour requests, though they still kept the champagne in there as they loved it and it made the power-up more fancy.

Then it’s another week of measuring, mixing, and carefully infusing the correct batches into the different snacks. She almost put Wayzz’s herbal tea flavoured potion into Pollen’s honey comb, if not for Tikki and Wayzz’s interference. Oh, the look of horror on Pollen’s face would send Plagg laughing with tears.

With everything ready, it’s time to paaaaaaaaartay! (Clearly Xuppu was here :) )

—

With the help of Chat Noir, they managed to get the miraculouses to the respective holders’ rooms before they arrived home from school. She handwrote all the dissolving letters containing the information, taking care to use her cursive. Those online lessons really paid off, even Tikki couldn’t recognise that she was the one who wrote it.

Ladybug hid behind a rooftop as she watched Max open read the letter, coming to the conclusion that everyone else is doing the same. She hoped that she had made her instructions clear enough, considering how… excited some of her classmates could be.

—

Everyone was confused when they found a box in their rooms, realising soon after that it was a miraculous box. Alya and Chloe immediately opened their boxes, paying no mind to the paper that were below.

“Oh, finally! Ladybug is giving the Miraculous to me! It’s about time.”

“Trixx! Does Ladybug need me?” An extremely loud gasp, “Oh my gosh, is she here? Do I get to hold on to my miraculous?”

The kwamis questioned had to clarify that no, Ladybug was not nearby as there is no emergency, no, it was only for a few short hours, and no again, the miraculous was technically not theirs but “belonged” to the Guardian for safekeeping unless they are permanent holders. They were only temporary holders who are called upon when their help were needed.

(Ladybug and Master Fu had them make sure they got it through their heads after getting irritated when some people kept begging for it again. And also to inform those whose identities were compromised that it was their last time using theirs.)

“Please read the letter before you do anything, Alya.”

“It contains some important information that you really must know before you call upon me, my queen.”

All holders read through the letter:

“Dear [Name],

I hope this letter finds you well. I’m to be officiated as the new Guardian of the Miraculous, and it would really make my happy if you could join me tonight. Along with your miraculous, you will find a small snack for your kwamis. It is to be consumed strictly before transforming, so do not waste it as I’ve only provided a small piece.

You will transform tonight at 4am, going going to the address listed below. Don’t worry, the kwami will be able to help you with that. I know it is late but this is to ensure no reporters or your parents will see you sneak out. Hawkmoth rarely comes out at night anyway, so that’s a bonus.

Chat Noir and I are greatful for your contributions as the heroes of Paris, so we would also like this to be a celebration of thanks. Hope to see you there!

Signed, Ladybug

Address: 53 Rue de Corentin, Petit Fortune Hôtel 3rd floor”

The letters dissolved with a flame of green sparkles, kwamis reaffirming the chosens that they know the address and will help them navigate.

[under-the-blue-sun]

vanilla softserve sort of day

summary: dan doesn't want to go outside today, but when his best friend and crush phil lester turns up at his doorstep...well, he had to change his plans a little. 

word count: 4117

rating: teen & up for swearing, but it’s mostly just fluff

warnings: profanity

note: first(ish) phanfic so uh hello phanfic community nice to meet you i guess. this is a little rushed and crappy but im putting this out there anyway so let’s just see how that goes. inspired by liana flores’ softserve - please check her out, the link is here and she is amazing and so underrated i love her so much.

read on ao3 | read on ff.net

dear diary laptop thingy, 

today began as a perfectly sunny day. and when i mean perfect, i mean absolutely perfect. i wasn't dying and sweating because of the heat, but it wasnt cold enough so i would shiver to death. the perfect weather to go outside, run around in a park and walk my dog. so obviously i stayed inside, sleeping till eleven am. that is, until i was woken up by the doorbell. i leapt out of bed and ran to the door in my pajamas. i know that that's bad, but in my defense i thought that my brother had left something at home and he was coming back to get it. it was holidays for me, but my brother's last day of school was today and my mother had to go to work. and as far as i was aware, my mum had not ordered anything online since she swore off it so i couldn't see how it could be anyone either than my brother and my mother, for who would want to see me?

yet, i opened the door and saw the one and only phil lester.

now i know you do not want to read through another in-depth description of phil lester. i was just rereading my other few entries and uh, i wrote a lot of things about his appearance and personality. but he did truly looked stunning, just standing there at my front door. somehow, he had looked even better since he got the very fashionable quiff and since he started to embrace his glasses. he was wearing a blue shirt and jeans, which accentuated his beautiful blue-green-yellow eyes and he had his dog, buffy, on a lead. she tried to run forward to greet me, almost choking herself, but phil held her back. and then he fucking smiled at me, which, as normal, was fucking death, which is a bit of an issue when he smiles a lot and he's your best mate, but i swear to fucking god, his smile could light up the entire world.

"hi." he said, still fucking smiling.

"i didnt expect you." i noted, like a reasonable human.

"yas, you didnt. nice pajamas." he said.

of course. of all the days, i just had to be wearing my wonder woman pajamas. i fucking hate this world.

"yeah, they are pretty nice. what are you doing here?" i asked, pretending i wasn't embarrassed.

he fiddled with his fingers, acting adorably flustered. god, i fucking love him. "well...you said you were home alone this week and that you were going to be really bored. so i thought i could, you know, turn up as a surprise." he said. i blinked.

"i dont...have anything planned." i said. he laughed, his stupid tongue sticking out of his beautiful teeth. god, please murder me.

"i know you dont, you spork. it is sunny out today, so i was wondering whether you wanted to go on a train with me to the beach?" he said.

i didnt respond for a few seconds so i could process this information. he is so fucking cute?? and nice?? i did not understand, so daniel.exe just shut down. but like?? still??? i said i was going to be bored on the week and that i had nothing to do, so he turned up at my front step and asked whether i wanted to spend some time with him. like who?? would do that??? honestly, he really was the best friend ever. 

"it's okay if you don't want to, i was just asking, you don't have to, there's no pressure!" phil said quickly, his face turning red. it was only then that i realised i hadnt said anything for like a whole minute. oops.

"no, no, i would love to! i was just...surprised that you would think of coming here and asking whether i wanted to spend time with you." i quickly said, trying to make up for my mistake.

"you were surprised i wouldn't at least come and say hi after hearing my best friend was bored and free during the week? daniel james howell, i am truly disappointed in you." phil said, shaking his head. 

so i took sookie, my dog (yas, phil and i have matching pup names) and wore my sunglasses. i wore the first clothes in my closet that were reasonably presentable (black, of course) and i went to the door. phil was on his phone playing crossy road (probably as the emo goose) and didn't notice me come out of the house.

"um...hello?" i said. he went pink, embarrassed he didn't notice me beforehand, and looked at me for a while. all i was thinking was fuck, i probably look bad.

"is there something on my face?" i asked. he went pinker and shook his head.

"no, it's nothing." he replied. "let's go!"

the train trip was as breezy as the wind today and before i knew it, we were at the beach. phil tried to chase some seagulls to talk to them like the dork he is, but i pulled him away.

"aww. but i could have been the next doctor dolittle." he complained. i rolled my eyes.

"we already discussed this. you cannot become a doctor, as you would be known as dr. phil and that title already belongs to one human and it will continue to belong to one human only." i said sternly. he pouted.

"but what if i legally changed my name? then could i become the next doctor dolittle?" he begged.

"what would you even change your name to? mo?" i asked, struggling to not smirk. 

"mo? mo...lester. what? no! i dont want my name to be the word someone who sexually assaults others! i would change my name to...sylvester. then i could become sylvester lester!" he exclaimed.

"sylvester lester from manchester." i said with a grin.

"yeah! i like it!" he said. he looked so fucking happy, how could he ever want to spend time with me, who literally sucks the happiness out of everything? truly one of the world's greatest mysteries.

"it does have quite a ring to it," i admitted, "maybe you should change your name."

"then i could be doctor dolittle! well, the equivalent of him. doctor sylvester lester from manchester who goes on...questers...to communicate with other animals." he exclaimed. i shook my head.

"no phil, you ruined it. questers? really?" i said.

"i couldn't think of anything else that would rhyme!" he protested. i shook his head. sookie shook his head with me.

"see, even sookie knows what's up!" i said. 

"well, buffy would never betray me, so take that!" phil retorted playfully. he then suggested we go grab some lunch, so we went to the local cafe and got some fish and chips. 

it was a cute cafe. there was hardly anyone there as it was still technically a working day, which was good for us as we got an outdoor table for our dogs. sookie hungrily stared at my food, hoping for a chip or two. even though my mum hates giving sookie human food, she wasn't here to tell me not to give her any, so i gave in and allowed her to take some of my chips. while i was feeding sookie under the table, i listened to phil talk.

"did you know that a lot of fish in fish and chips is actually shark?" he said. i raised my eyebrows.

"i refuse to believe that. where did you hear it?" i asked with doubt.

"i don't know, i think someone told me on this science camp or something, i don't know." he replied, visibly attempting to recall where he heard it.

"right, okay, really reliable source there. even if it's true, i don't care. i don't care if this is raw shark, or raw octopus or some shit, it tastes good so i'm going to continue eating it." i said.

"octopus tastes different from regular fish, dan. i think you would know if you were eating raw octopus." phil pointed out.

"i don't care! i don't care! watch me! i don't care!" i exclaimed. phil laughed as he shook his head.

we finished the meal in ten seconds flat, like the ravenous, greedy brutes we were and then i paid, despite phil's protests. 

"why did you pay? i should have paid! this is my treat to you!" phil exclaimed, continuing to argue even after we had left the cafe.

"yeah, and that is my thanks to you for taking me out." i said back. he huffed.

"yeah, but i wanted to treat you." he said. 

"if you wanna try me, get me a ninety-nine." i said, pointing at the ice cream truck ahead. he groaned.

"but they're always so expensive. way more expensive than it should be, anyway." he whinged.

i shrugged. "i mean, if you wanna treat me -"

"yas, i'll get you a ninety-nine!" he blurted out, interrupting my sentence. "i might as well get myself one as well."

and soon, i had a vanilla softserve in my hand and an irritated phil to my right.

"why are they even called ninety-nines when they're not even ninety-nine pence?" phil asked.

"it's actually because italian people thought -" i began, but phil cut me off.

"i don't want to hear. they should be ninety-nine pence is all i'm saying." phil griped. 

"if you don't want your ninety-nine, you can go ahead and give it to me," i offered. 

"no, it's still mine." phil said. he stuck his tongue out at me, then took a huge lick of the ice cream.

"or is it?" i said. i leaned over and licked his ice cream.

"hey!" he cried. he leant over and licked my ice cream.

"see? now we're even steven. no need to get angry." i said. he shook his head while i manically cackled.

"race you!" phil shouted. i stopped laughing and i saw him in the distance, already running.

"wha - i -" i stuttered, before sprinting as well. by the time we just got to the end, we were both huffing and puffing, unable to breathe.

"i...beat...you." phil said, exhaling after each word. my brain protested "because you had a head start!" but my body was unable to comply, and all that came out was "head...start.". phil and i simultaneously collapsed on the floor.

after five minutes, i stood up and looked at where we had run from.

"you know, it wasn't that far, we're just grossly unfit." i observed.

"the things we sacrifice to play hours of video games." phil replied, shaking his head. "hey, how about we go on the beach?"

before i could reply, phil was on the beach, looking up at me with a grin. i shook my head.

"now sand is going to be in your socks and shoes." i pointed out. he threw his vans to the side and stripped his socks off.

"there!" he declared. "problem fixed!"

"phil!" i exclaimed. he tilted his head in confusion.

"what?" he said innocently.

"you can't just - oh, whatever," i said, giving in. i jumped down to the beach and i took off my socks and shoes.

"happy?" i asked, both eyebrows raised. he smiled, eyes crinkling with happiness.

"very." he said. he lay down on the beach, but jumped up abruptly.

"what?" i asked. he rubbed his back and dug in the sand with his fingers. he plunged his hand in and pulled out a huge conical shell.

"woah, look at this!" phil said with a huge grin.

"was that sticking up your back?" i asked. he nodded solemnly. i laughed loudly and obnoxiously as he pouted. he was so cute when he pouted. why did i have to go through this? this was straight up homophobia.

"hey, let's look for more shells!" he said.

"why?" i groaned.

"because it'll be fun?" he said, with puppy dog eyes. i groaned, but decided to humour him anyway.

"where are you going to put the shells, phil?" i asked. he pointed at his hoodie pocket.

"in here, of course!" he said. 

"how many shells would you even be able to fit in there?" i asked. he shrugged.

"as many as i can. come on, let's hunt for shells!" he said, already running across the beach with buffy and sookie. i sighed and chased after him, trying not to grin after he started screaming.

and it turns out he was right. with a little help from my hoodie pocket, we managed to collect a whole lot of shells. somehow, we had managed to spend hours on the beach, rolling in the sand and grabbing shells.

"we should probably have dinner now." i said. he laughed and shook his head.

"what?" i asked innocently.

"nothing. just the people in the restaurant will probably think we're crazy, covered in sand and pockets bulging with shells." he said. i looked at him, his hair in the wind and his multicoloured eyes somehow matching perfectly with the sea. his face looked beautiful under the light of the sunset, and of course his smile was just as stunning as it was this morning at the front door. suddenly, i started laughing too, and he started laughing harder, and soon we couldn't stop until we were just two idiots with one shared brain cell, laughing our head off till we couldn't breathe.

to be honest, i don't know what was so funny. it wasn't phil's best joke, nor his cheesiest, nor his dirtiest or his most ironic. maybe it was just the absurdity of it all, that we had spent our entire day collecting shells on the beach with our dog. but at that moment, i was certain it was because of the impossible existence that was phil and how he managed to be so fucking beautiful and nice. that's why i was laughing anyway, i have no idea why phil was laughing his head off.

"yeah, let's wait for awhile before dinner. you can come to my place if you want?" i offered. he shook his head.

"nah, it's fine. i'll just go home and have dinner there." he said. 

"please. have dinner with me. it'll be my treat back to you for making sure i didn't stay inside sleeping all day." i said, practically begging. i looked at him as the breeze blew against his face, and at that particular moment i was more in love with him than i ever could've imagined someone could be.

he looked back at me for a while, then relented. he smiled and shuffled closer towards me.

"sure. i'll love to have dinner with your family." he said.

we sat in comfortable silence, looking off into the horizon.

"the beach during sunset really is beautiful." i observed.

"yeah. really." he eloquently replied. i turned to him, and realised he was still looking at me.

"fuck, i can't deal with this anymore." he muttered. i frowned, quizzical.  and then he interrupted my thoughts and kissed me.

my brain went completely empty of all the thoughts i was thinking before and all the logic i normally apply to situations. i stopped thinking about the maths homework i was supposed to do, and how we had to go all the way back to the other end of the beach to get our shoes and socks back if they were still there, and how the weather forecast said that it might rain later this evening. the only thing that i was thinking about was how phil, my best friend, crush, soulmate and companion through life, fucking liked me back and that he was fucking kissing me.

holy shit. even now as i'm typing this, i still can't believe it. this kind of thing only happened in cliche rom-com tv shows and movies. but yet it was still happening. Philip Michael Lester, the attractive, polite, intelligent, thoughtful, kind human being, was kissing Daniel James Howell, the impolite, sarcastic, idiotic, emo, ironic demon. just...fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

"i really like you dan." phil said quietly, avoiding my eyes. i took his hand and placed it in mind.

"i really like you too." i said, smiling. he looked up at me and smiled. we sat, hand-in-hand, and watched the sunset in silence.

"let's go home." i said.

"let's go home." he repeated.

so we walked to the other end of the beach, our bare feet making temporary footprints across the barren sand.

we collected our shoes and socks (which phil forgot about before i reminded him) and then we went on the train, but we were too exhausted to talk. emotionally tired or physically tired, i don't know. but we sat on the train hand in hand, trying not to drift to sleep. unfortunately, i epically failed at that because soon i woke up to phil nudging me at our stop. after a five minute walk from the train station we arrived at my house. i knocked at my door, and waited for an answer. i heard footsteps, and soon adrian answered the door.

"dan, i'm proud of you. i was surprised you even went out of the house, but i had faith that you would. mum thought you were kidnapped, but obviously you're okay. oh, hi phil! we weren't expecting you." adrian said. oops. i kind of forgot to tell mum that phil was coming. i'm sure it was fine. 

"hi adrian! can you ask your mum whether it's okay for me to have dinner with you? tell her it's fine if i can't, i wouldn't want to butt into your family dinner." phil said. ugh, what a gentlemen. how the fuck did he like me? if i was him i wouldn't like me. what was this sorcery???¿?¿¿¿   

adrian nodded and ran back to the kitchen. he shouted back to us saying it was okay, and we went in.

the dinner went smoothly. as i predicted, phil made adrian laugh with his cheesy jokes and he was incredibly polite to my mum. i had told my mum while phil went to the bathroom that we were dating now, and i could tell that the only thing that went through her head was "ideal son-in-law". which was good i guess, if also somewhat embarrassing.

as soon as we started the dessert course, it started raining outside. 

"you boys just missed the rain, didn't you?" my mum said, looking out the window.

"good luck, i guess." i replied, focusing on my apple pie.

"or maybe the universe meant it to be like that." phil said. i looked up at him.

"probably luck." adrian decided, interrupting our moment.

despite my mum's protests, phil soon started to get ready to go, hoodie pocket still bulging with shells. i had put my shells in my room the minute we came back in, but poor phil had to carry them all throughout dinner. 

"i'll count them when we get home and we can see how many shells we collected together." phil promised.

"or we could have a competition to see who has the most shells." i proposed. 

"i gave some of mine to you, so that's not fair." phil said. i clicked my tongue.

"excuses, excuses." i said, shaking my head.

"are you sure you don't want to stay here for the night?" my mum said, concerned.

"it's fine, ma'am. i need to go home and do some things i was supposed to do this afternoon, but i was held up." he said, looking at me.

"you invited me!" i protested. 

"i know, i wasn't blaming you. but it's fine ma'am, i want to go home." phil said. mum sighed.

"at least make me give you a lift." she said.

"it's -"

"phil lester, it is raining outside. i do not want your mother calling me saying i let you to walk out in the rain, allowing you to catch a cold! i know your address, let me drive you there. dan, adrian, do you want to come?" my mum said. adrian shook his head.

"sure." i said.

"good, let's go. adrian, don't do anything or you're grounded." mum said. ah, what a legend.

the second we got in the car, holding hands in the backseat, my mum showered us with congratulations. she revealed she had been shipping us since grade three, which made me confused and worried, and she said that she always knew i liked phil.

"mum!" i said while phil laughed.

"what? it was as obvious as day. even before you told us you were gay, i knew that you thought phil as something either than platonic. and don't laugh too hard mr lester, i always knew you liked him too. i'm just amazed it took this long for you to get together to be honest." mum said.

"well, we're both oblivious and nerdy, so that might be why." phil said. mum chuckled.

"yas, that is true. that's very true." mum said. we then chatted about music and literature, and before we knew it we were at phil's place. it had somehow stopped raining on the drive, but i was still wet so mum told us to be careful.

"thank you for taking me ma'am." phil said honestly.

"that's okay phil. it's been nice seeing you again. you're welcome at our house at any time. i'll let you two say goodbye." mum said.

phil got out of the car, making sure he didn't drop any shells from his pocket.

"make sure to count those shells," i said while getting out of the car.

"i will." he said with a smile. god, those smiles still killed me. i kind of hoped that i would become immune to them after finding out he liked me, but i was also kind of grateful that i was still susceptible to the magic of phil's smile. still, it was irritating that i melted any time he felt moderately happy. it wasn't fair, it really wasn't fair.

"you wanna go to the movies tomorrow? i heard there's some good films in the cinema." i said.

"sure. my treat." he said.

"nope, you're not paying for it. i refuse to let you. you can pay for something else, but i will pay for the tickets." i said. he opened his mouth to argue, but closed it immediately after.

"we'll argue about this tomorrow. i'll go -" he started, but i interrupted.

"i'll be at your place. at eleven thirty sharp." i said. he raised his eyebrows.

"would you really?" he said.

"i will. you'll be sorry you ever doubted me." i replied.

"have you done mr folium's homework yet?" he asked.

"nope. i'll probably just google the answers." i said.

"you're going to regret doing that." he said.

"i know. but for now i'm just focusing on the present and not worrying about the future." i said.

"that's a good quote for our relationship, not so good for maths homework. but fine, you do you. i'll probably just google the answers as well." he said. i laughed.

"you're such a hypocrite." i said, shaking my head. he smirked.

"i know. it's one of the things you love about me, isn't it?" he said. i raised my eyebrows.

"your words, not mine." i said. we stood in silence, both unsure of what to say.

"i should probably get going." i said, breaking the silence. 

"yeah, same." he agreed. and there it was, that perfect silence yet again.

"i really like you." i began, but not sure of what else to say.

"yeah, same." he said. 

and then we kissed again. it sounds so casual, doesn't it? but it wasn't, it really wasn't. my heartbeat sped up and slowed down to match his, my palms started sweating with nerves and excitement, and my lips curled as it struggled to fathom what was happening. i wonder if every kiss with him would be like this. i wonder if i would ever stop loving him just as much. there's still so much i was unsure about, but for now i'll focus on the present and i'll let the future come when it comes. who knows how much - or how little - the world has in store for the two of us? let's face it, i'm just a seventeen year old boy really in love with another boy in my class who somehow liked me back. but couldn't be seventeen? that's all i wanted to be. and there was nowhere to go if didn't start the journey, and right now we were only just beginning.

today was a vanilla softserve sort of day, and i love vanilla softserves. signing off,

daniel howell