#only for him to be a bitter and jealous selfish asshole

[cipheramnesia]

I mean saying the movie supported men's rights kind of ignores that what the kens did was painted as bad. Like that was very much the message of the film

That was the text of the film but not the message.

I'm not going to apply greater nuanced analysis to a movie that had all coherent structure papered over in producer notes. But for a movie that spends a lot of time pointing out situations that are unfair, not equal, or "bad" it didn't have anything to say about why or what might actually resolve the inequality.

Not saying it needs to author the revolution or anything, just it kinda stopped at "patriarchy bad because men rule all and are dumb boys who are gross" and I think that's boring? It's like hey, inequality sure is bad! And it seems like weird and wrong the girl empowerment doll for diverse women is exclusively developed by old white men! Followed by crickets chirping.

I was kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, like yes, this is a pretty fun satirical look at gender and... and..? And that's it. Barbie world goes back to hierarchical control in a perfect utopia. The real world is unaffected because all those executives are just silly guys who are trying their best. Gloria gets to be a good mom, and hands her ideas over to the corporation. The new line of Barbies are Barbies that just don't want anything at all. And Margot Barbie just leaves.

Which is unfortunate because it starts out with a great deal of very interesting ideas, but ends up without anything much to say at all. It uses all the right words but mostly just kinda ascribes broad universal meaning and morality rather than considering any of it could have some underlying complexity.

We all know feminism can't hold hands with capitalism, but the Barbie movie wants the cache of the feminist movement beholden to the bottom line of Mattel's investors. And as a fun movie about children's dolls it's fine, but it's also selling itself as a feminist film, which it very much is not.

[hecksupremechips]

Constantly torn between writing a character to be just a nice guy and writing that character to be the most fucked up creature in existence

[heaven-berry]

They never gave me a chance to explain myself, my feelings, my mind, my hurt, my anger. They blocked me and paid no second thought to how I might have been feeling for the past 5 months. I never got the chance to be understood only to be a martyr for their own selfish ends. His respect for me ended where my relationship began and her love for me ended where my needs were brought to the table. All he thought was how I could serve a purpose in his life and never once cared about my genuine happiness and finding someone whom I wanted to put my all into after everything that I had been through. I had found someone who I loved and cherished, fought my own demons and put my faith in her time and time again because I made the decision that she was worth it every time. I never give up on people until they give up on me, and she had the audacity to state that I only see the worst in people. Wrong. By your own admission I was too kind and give people too many benefit of the doubts until they hurt me, until they attempt to really fuck me up. Him blocking me and kicking me from our social circle was damage enough. My ex on the other hand never bothered to come forward about any of it after I had opened up to her, been vulnerable, showed her the kind of person I am through my actions and words. Through the time I spent with her, the gifts I gave her, the love and attention I showered her with. I’m cashing all that in for myself now because all that I did was worth NOTHING to you the moment he opened his mouth and divulged the things I said when I was weak and vulnerable. I put my trust in him and in classic fashion he used it against me. But YOU, my ex, you bought all of it. Who sees the worst in who?  You leaving me because of your father passing should have been something you relied on me for. It should have been something that a partner goes through together with their significant other but you shut me out, and you distanced yourself only to come back and dump me. I knew something was wrong, but I paid no attention to it thinking that there’s no way someone would end things even after I had already been kicked down. You talk about timing but you didn’t communicate anything with me and much less gave a shit about the timing of it all, continued to play petty mind games with me in my silence and pain. It wasn’t even a few days later that you started posting about how you were having such a good time with your best friend while I was basically fucking tossed aside for your own needs. It’s not the logic that bothers me, it’s that I wasn’t worth it to you. I wasn’t worth the struggle, I wasn’t worth the compromise, and I wasn’t worth the collaboration of our future. No one said you had to ditch your mother to come live with me, no one said you had to leave everything behind and be with my family. In fact we never had that conversation beyond telling you what my fucking needs are. You don’t want a future with someone who was willing to give you everything and all you had to do was let him look after his mother and his sister too? I was good to you. As for that asshole, who framed my intentions as if I was facilitating a divide between you and them, I am beyond fucking disgusted but not surprised. Every chance he got he made me feel guilty in the privacy of our conversations. He told me what a shit friend I was for choosing my relationship over spending time with him and his group. All he saw was value in me ONLY WHEN it was in service of him and his ends. The moment I started a group of my own he grew bitter and jealous and complained that nobody needed him anymore now that people were spending time in my group and not his. The fucking asshole suffered in silence and never once approached me about any of it. Then the moment my trauma starts reeling me in and I clarify that it’s my trauma he takes the opportunity to say that I shit on him. It wasn’t enough for him to hurt me through my friends, he really wanted me to suffer by attacking me THROUGH OUR RELATIONSHIP. Her though? She’s liable to believe that I see only this as the big picture and nothing beyond my own suffering. She thinks I say all this and don’t take into account that she is suffering too but never will bother to consider that suffering doesn’t constitute putting other people through agony especially for big decisions you base on a perceived future. You never met my mom, you never got the chance to know my sister, you never got the chance to share a space with me, you never got the chance to even see me in person, and just assumed that it will not work out. I am agonizing over the fact that I put so much of myself. I challenged myself, my pre-conceived notions, I fought my insecurities, I fought my toxic traits, I put my faith wholeheartedly in you and you took it all for granted. I fucking tried so hard for you. Your needs were never at odds with our relationship, it was just you.

[ystrike1]

Koi to Shinzou - By Chitose Kaido (8.5/10)

Manipulative yanderes have always been popular. They tend to get more attention than other breeds of yandere. This particular series is long. Even if you're not into yanderes it's a decent mystery. None of the villains are overly stupid and our heroine is actually smart. She's just not smart enough to outfox her loving stalker. Beware! The romance is extremely slow burn. Nobody kisses until chapter forty. If that's your thing open up this one.

Yoh is a troublesome girl. She has a strong sense of justice that gets her in trouble all the time. She's loud, brash, rude and pretty. All the boys want her to calm down so they can flirt with her. All of the girls around her are jealous of her. Her mother is a rich businesswoman as well, so that makes the jealousy around her surge up higher. Yoh is extremely popular despite her "bad attitude" (cough...cough self respect cough) so lots of people hate her. Shallow people love to follow her around and talk shit about her. She avoids them until they intentionally cause drama to get her attention. Then she slaps the bullies down.

Her life is a little chaotic.

Yoh attracts crazy people like a magnet. Most of her stalkers aren't in love with her. They hate her. They're jealous of her. They want the men who are in love with her. Their motives are always insanely selfish and delusional. Everybody wants to be like Yoh, because she's a nice person, and being kind isn't easy. She stands out everywhere she goes because she's generous and beautiful. Her daily life is stressful, but she has two close friends that treat her like a normal person.

These are Yoh's only true allies, but they both have secrets. Touya is in love with her. He's a sweet guy, but I don't think he'll be able to beat the yandere. Sawako is a "fake airhead". She pretends to be sweet and childish, but she's actually sharp. Sharp, bitter, and also in love with Touya. Sawako is nice though. She doesn't hate Touya or Yoh. She doesn't think Touya will ever return her feelings, but she still wants to be his friend. She genuinely loves Yoh too. Sawako is kind of the final boss the yandere has to break through to have Yoh.

This is Haruma. He is Yoh's childhood friend. She doesn't remember him, but he's her new roommate. Yoh's mother, Ryou, sent him over personally. The author hasn't revealed why Yoh's mother willingly gave her daughter to a yandere yet. Haruma remembers Yoh. He knows everything about Yoh. He has loved her for most of his life. He wants her, but he's patient.

He is a maximum level manipulator. Be afraid. He's very good at covering his tracks. Haruma cleverly uses all the villains around Yoh. After he successfully saves her from all of them he gains her trust. Then her love.

The first villainess is a girl named Tamaki. Her boyfriend, Noguchi, broke up with her to date Yoh. Yoh broke up with him after Tamaki seduced that boyfriend again. Noguchi is a cheating scumbag. Tamaki is a violent asshole with confidence issues. They were a perfect match.

Tamaki blames Yoh for Noguchi's awful behavior, because bad people like to blame Yoh for their problems in this story.

Haruma saves Yoh from her. Touya and Sawako show up to assist. Then Yoh promptly cuts ties with Noguchi and his stalker.

The second villain is Kunie. He's a member of the student council. He's rich. He's handsome and he acts like he's got a crush on Yoh until he snaps. Kunie hates Yoh. She called him out back in junior high. He was a delinquent back then. He smoked in school because he knew the teachers were too scared to piss off his rich parents. Yoh isn't scared of rich parents. She has one. So, she told Kunie he was going to end up alone if he didn't change his attitude.

Kunie did change. He adopted a fake nice personality to make everyone love him. He's been blackmailing people. The other members of the council do all of his homework. His "friends" fear him and everybody else admires his fake self. He is a deeply messed up man, and he isn't redeemable. He torments Yoh until she cracks and asks for Haruma's help.

Then Haruma kisses her, and the cops drag Kunie away. All of that cheating destroyed his future. Kunie did end up alone, just like Yoh predicted. All of his "friends" hated him bitterly. When Haruma put out bait the rest of the student council exposed him. They recorded Kunie when he bullied Yoh, which led to his demise. Then, conveniently, a battered Yoh landed in Haruma's arms.

He's a real snake, but he does love Yoh. I know he's toxic and manipulative...um...but he wants Yoh to be happy. He just isn't willing to be nice to all the annoying flies around his popular girlfriend.

The last(?) villain is Wakana. She's another fake ditzy girl, but her act isn't very good. Sawako saw through it right away. Wakana thinks Yoh is a slut that leads handsome men on. In reality Yoh is just a normal person that has male friends. Wakana is a total creep. She thinks all men are pigs that can be fooled by cuteness. She's wrong. Her pathetic cries for help always attract the wrong kind of man. Wakana is surrounded by shallow assholes because she doesn't think of men as people. No man worth anything would date someone like her. She hates everyone and everything. All of her internal thoughts are disgusting.

Haruma destroys her. He finds some of her ex boyfriends, and they confront her. She dated two of Yoh's boyfriends on purpose. Then she dated more for money and attention. All of these men didn't get an explanation when she broke up with them. She simply ghosted them.

When Haruma gives them an address they come and expose her. Her army of ex boyfriends warns everyone in Yoh's school. They tell everyone that Wakana is an abusive liar who likes to steal men from her friends.

Yoh is blissfully unaware of this particular conflict.

Haruma captures her sweetly and he brings her to a ferris wheel. Then they both confess and kiss. Their relationship solidifies and they start dating for real before the wheel stops. He kisses Yoh until her legs give out, and then he pats her head.

Haruma is a great roomate.

Yoh's mother approves of him.

Yoh feels safe around him.

(I think Haruma is devoted to Yoh because she saved his life. It is heavily implied that he tried to commit suicide after his mother slit her wrists. Yoh climbed in through a window before he could hang himself. The past is unclear though. Haruma is mostly a mystery.)

Yoh is in love with him.

They're going to live happily ever after.

[mara-xx217]

There’s this song giving me huge bo vibe and I’m wondering if you’ll use it as him x fem reader as angst where she finally has enough and leave him for good ? Like takes a victim car and is never seen again 👀 ? He’s a huge asshole and I love him so much 🏃🏻‍♀️

Damn it, I love him too. Let there be angst!

Part Two

Part Three

Bo x Reader Angst: Done With Being Tolerated

It was always the same. Always. No matter what you did, no matter what you said, no matter how you acted, it always felt like it wasn’t enough for him. Never good enough. Nothing was ever good enough for him, and it wasn’t just you. Even his brothers, both his twin and younger, never seemed to do anything that warranted his praise, no matter the occasion. Lester, the youngest, was the luckiest out of the three of you. He lived just outside of Ambrose, so he didn’t have to deal with his older brother’s bullshit as much, not like you and his twin, Vincent, did.

You used to feel sorry for Vincent. The way that his twin, Bo, would treat him was simply terrible. Constantly shouting at him, calling him a freak, stupid, useless… You used to try to get him to back off, to calm down, take a walk, just stop shouting at him already! He’s doing the best he can, Bo! That’s enough! But it was never enough. Not for him… Nothing Lester or Vincent did was ever good enough, and when you entered the picture, that line of thinking quickly extended to you, too.

At first, your relationship with Bo was alright, a little turbulent with what he and his brothers were doing in Ambrose and his overall disposition, but it wasn’t what you would call abusive. But, like with most relationships, the honeymoon phase was over before you knew it, and something far more abrasive took over the man you thought you fell in love with. Was it the age gap between the two of you? Was it all him? Did you have something to do with the change in him..?

No, no, it wasn’t your fault. None of this was. You did everything for that man. You always did what was expected of you, and then some. You had dinner on the table for him when he got home after a long day of work. You put up with his constant flirting with any woman unfortunate enough to make a stop at Ambrose that he always seems to do right in fucking front of you…You’ve put up and accepted with so much of his bullshit, and he doesn’t even have the curtesy to tolerate any of yours.

You were tired of faking your smiles. You were tired of shedding all the blood, sweat, and tears that you had on this man, and having every single drop going to waste. You were tired of fighting for his affections with complete strangers or his fucking work. You were tired of never being enough for that selfish asshole… As much as you love him, it was past time to start loving yourself more.

It wasn’t easy. This was probably the single most difficult thing you have, or will ever do, in your entire life. But you couldn’t wait. Not anymore. You’re worth more than how he treats you, and it was past due that you showed him that. You didn’t have much when you first came to Ambrose, and you wouldn’t be leaving with much, either. You couldn’t care less. Not with freedom so close you could almost taste it. You were getting out of here, even if you had it leave it all behind.

You were going to miss Ambrose. Even though it was a ghost town, it had grown on you, crazy, wax people non withstanding. You were certainly going to miss the other Sinclair boys: Lester and Vincent. They, both, were always good to you, much to Bo’s ire. Vincent especially, since you were around him far more than you were Lester, or even Bo, for that matter. For how jealous that man always was, he never seemed to give you the time of day. Even if it hurts, even if you can’t stop the bitter tears from streaming down your face, your resolve only hardens. You’re getting away, no matter what.

It only took a bit of patience and some time, both of which you had an abundance of. Bo would never, not in a million years, think that you would have the guts to do something like this. He’d never expect you to be the one to leave him, and that is the only reason why this plan was even possible. He thought you were weak, thought that you would roll over and let him walk all over you. Not any more. It was only a matter of time before another group of unfortunates would blow through town, and that was when you’d make your move. Until then, you have to keep pretending like you have been. Keep smiling. Keep lying. What’s a few more months of this, when I’ll be free from this forever? That was the only thing that kept you going: you will be free, sooner than later, and it would be because you said so.

A group had, somehow, found their way to Ambrose (maybe Lester?) and had decided to take a look at the House of Wax. Perfect. You watched them from afar, seeing how many there were, who was driving, where they put the keys… You couldn’t believe your eyes! You must be mistaken! As soon as they entered the museum, you made your way over to their car and… Yes! They left the keys inside! I really was a sign, you thought. You were never religious, or really spiritual, for that matter, but this moment, right here and now? You might start going to church, after all… Casually, you open the door and snatch the keys from the ignition. Can’t go running off, can we..? These people were good as dead, anyways. Right now, you had yourself to think about, and you wouldn’t get out of here dragging dead weight behind you.

You couldn’t just get in the car and drive off. You needed to make sure that Bo and Vincent were distracted, first. Well, you were more worried about Bo, of course, since Vincent usually took care of the ones foolish enough to wander off on their own, but Bo? He’s going to be a pain in my ass like always. You thought sourly. Your heart was pounding against your rib cage and your blood was roaring in your ears. You were worried that it would be too obvious that you were up to something, with your entire body trembling along with your breath coming in short bursts of anxiety. Worse than a wreck, you back off from the museum. I can’t fuck this up. Not now…

Patience was always the hardest virtue to master in life, and it was certainly the case for you, in that very moment. Bo will come and harass these people. He always does. I need to be patient. Calm. I need to calm down-

Speak of the devil, as they say. There he is, in his mechanic’s uniform, covered in oil and grease and sweat, checking out the new car that had arrived. You hide behind a tree, sucking down so that you’re completely covered by the bushes surrounding it. Oh God please… So many different things can happen now, and no matter what happens, you cannot lose your nerve now. You’re worth more than what Bo gives, or doesn’t give you. You keep reminding yourself that. I am worth more… I am…

You place your hand over your racing heart. It hurts. It hurts so back your can’t stand it. You don’t want to leave. You don’t want to, but… you have to. Bo is too stubborn to right his wrongs, and you're fed up with his shit. You’re going to miss Ambrose. You’re going to miss Lester. You’re going to miss Vincent. You’re going to miss Bo… God, you’ll miss them all… Tears begin to stream down your cheeks once more, nausea twisting your stomach into knots. You force your emotions down. You’ll miss them, but you have to do this. You wrap your fingers around the keys you stole. You’re doing this. You’re doing this. You’re doing-

Some of the “tourists” follow Bo out, chatting both amongst themselves and him. He’s bumping shoulders with some girl you doubt he even knows the name of. Anger quickly replaces your guilt. This is why I’m doing this. This. I’m worth more than that. A strange sense of calm washes over you, quieting your racing heart and pounding blood. You watch them go deeper into town, and wait for a few more minutes. Leaning down, you grab the bag that you had packed, slinging it over your shoulder as you stand, walking calmly over to your way out of here.

Opening the driver side door, you toss your bag into the passenger’s seat and close the door, shoving the keys into the ignition soon after. You tur- hesitate. You hesitate. Fingers twitching, your throat squeezes shut, heart jumping up and beating quickly once more. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. There’s no going back now. Turn the key in the ignition. Do it. Turn it. Turn it. Turn it. Turn it-

The car sputters, but roars to life. Your grip on the steering wheel turns your knuckles ghost white. No turning back… You repeated to yourself like a mantra. You’re stronger than Bo ever gave you credit for, and today was the day that you’d make him acknowledge that. You throw the gear shift into reverse, whipping the car back around faster than you had initially intended. No going back now. No turning back. No going back- You slam on the gas, tires squealing on the unkempt road as you flee from the abandoned town of wax.

There really was no going back now… Rolling down the window, you let the wind tangle your hair, breathing in deeply and, for the first time in a long time, a weight has been lifted from around your neck. But it wasn’t as though you were completely unaffected by leaving. Even though you were deeply relieved to be away from him, ugly, gut wrenching sobs bubbled up from somewhere deep within your chest, nearly forcing you to pull the car over. But you couldn’t stop, not now, not ever. You had to keep going. You had only just shed that albatross around your neck, and there was plenty of time for you to become reacquainted with yourself and the world around you.

You didn’t know what would happen to you, but you made a promise to yourself. You promised that you’d never ever let anyone bring you that low ever again. You’re worth more than to be treated like some sort of burden. Like everything you did only deserved the bare minimum of tolerance. No, you gave everything to that man. He was your everything for the last few years, and you’d never get that time back, that lost love, nothing that you gave that prick would be given back, but maybe you could at least reclaim some of what was lost. Today was the day of your fresh start, and you weren’t going to let this all be for nothing. It all couldn’t have been for nothing… You have to make sure of that.

[ootori-sibs]

Happy valentine's Day!

Here it is, the valentine's Day fic I promised. It's got some beni-kyoya cousins au, as well as hurt comfort and poly tamakyoharu.

Tw for mentions of lesphobia and the word wh*re.

"Good afternoon."

"Still so curt? No affection for your dear cousin? Tech, typical man."

Kyoya sighed, rolling his eyes behind his glasses. He sat in the club room, watching Tamaki fawn over his girlfriend more so than usual. It was valentine's day; a european holiday that Tamaki seemed to take very seriously. He had already had to put up with watching him pamper and praise Haruhi on white day, but this seemed worse for some reason. Tamaki used to only want to share his culture with Kyoya- and maybe it was a little selfish to think so; but Kyoya couldn't help but feel bitter.

"Did you know they were dating?"

"Who?" Beni asked, knowing damn well there was only one couple they both had emotional investments in. Even if Beni's was less of a crush and more of a saviour complex- Kyoya couldn't be bothered to judge her, she was the only one who really matched him in cruel commentary. "Your boyfriend and the maiden?"

Looking out at the room decked out in red and white- paper and glass hearts hanging from the ceiling as velvet cushions and silk tablecloths adorned each table. Kyoya could hear Tamaki telling Haruhi how beautiful he found her, and he could hear her dismissing him in that tired way that she does when she'd just a little too fatigued to fight his affections. She just sits there and accepts it. That makes Kyoya slightly nauseous.

"Ugh, he's not my boyfriend, Beni. You know this. If I was the one being subjected to this gross display of affections then you'd hear me complaining about it, instead I'm going to complain about Haruhi's new haircut."

"Yeah, whatever. The maiden got a haircut?"

"She has a name, but yeah; she just cut it even shorter and I'm pretty sure she shaved some of the lower parts- it looks like yours if your hair was roadkill."

Haruhi's hair wasn't even that bad, Kyoya actually thought Haruhi looked really nice like this, but it made him cringe to recall the colossal tantrum that Tamaki had thrown when he found out Haruhi didn't want to keep her hair at the length it had grown to- despite said length barely brushing her shoulders. The whistle from the other end of the phone made it a little more worth it though.

"Damn, you know you shouldn't bring a woman down just because you're a jealous little asshole, you know?"

Kyoya sighed heavily, "I'm sorry, is miss saviour complex kidnapper talking to me about this? You're the reason there's a myth about predatory lesbians."

Beni gasped at that and Kyoya had to bite back a smirk as the other hosts ran around teasing Tamaki and bothering Haruhi- at least they weren't bothering him.

"You bitch! You can't say that! I'm not the one crushing on an overly affectionate man! Bet you get all hot and bothered every time he hugs you- men like you are all perverts anyway."

"Are you ever going to get any new insults? You just say the same generalised thing every time, it's beginning to get boring."

"Oh yeah?" She responded, “give me something to work with then; what are your perverted gang of idiots up to anyway?"

"The morons?" He smiled a little, watching the twins making a show of enjoying the chocolates Haruhi made for each of them whilst Tamaki threw another tantrum. "Well thing one and two are annoying Tamaki as usual, it seems this time they can't even eat food without it being a performance."

"Gross!" Beni chuckled, "are they using it as an-"

"As an innuendo? Yep, I think they do it because Tamaki can't actually put any real stop to it without dropping that squeaky clean thing he's got going on."

"What squeaky clean thing?" Watching this nonsense was tiring, but Kyoya didn't mind much, at least it was better than watching Haruhi receive unwarranted attention. "He's the closest he can get to being a hooker without the school board putting their foot down."

"You think so? Have you met his father? You know; head of the school board? School chairman? Mr Yuzuru South himself? Apple doesn't fall all too far I'm afraid."

"Oooh!" Beni seemed amused by that as Kyoya turned his attention back to the finances- trying to tune out the sound of his friends. "So you're willing to mock your boyfriend and his family?"

"A: he's not my boyfriend, B: I'm self aware enough to see how ridiculous he is- they all are."

"Kyoya, that's incredibly contradictory; you can't say you're self aware and then deny that he's your boyfriend."

"He's literally in a relationship with Haruhi, I don't know how else I can explain that to you- or are you just that dense? Maybe you're in denial; is it too upsetting that straight people exist?"

"Yes actually."

Raising a coffee cup to his lips, Kyoya had to genuinely hold back laughter at that, coughing on a mouthful of the stuff and raising his cup in response to Mori glancing at him in concern. Big dumb bastard…

"I'll toast to that, fair enough. Although really, what makes you think he's my boyfriend?"

A pause, Kyoya glanced back over at the club to see that Honey had begun to 'help' Haruhi but the sweets away while the twins bickered about where or not the cups all came from the same set- it was nice to see them bicker for once…

"Doesn't he literally kiss you on the hands and cheeks and stuff sometimes?"

Kyoya almost choked for the second time during that short while they'd been talking, coughing slightly as Mori looked at him again. "Shut up, Mori-senpai keeps looking at me; he's going to hear us."

"He's literally half mute! He's not gonna say shit!"

"Good point, you have a point there," Kyoya had to agree. He sighed and gazed over at Haruhi and- shit where did Tamaki go?

"Mon Ami!" Arms suddenly wrapped around Kyoya, holding him tight as Tamaki hugged him from behind, taking Kyoya by surprise. "Who are you talking to? You're missing out on all our fun!"

On the other end of the phone, Beni snorted. Kyoya sighed and looked up at Tamaki in annoyance, "that's none of your concern, I would like to get back to my phone call if you don't mind."

Beni chuckled, listening to the conversation, "oh no, by all means; spend more time with your boyfriend."

Putting the phone down, face down, Kyoya sighs and glared up at Tamaki, "is there something you need?"

Tamaki pouted at that, whining. "Maaammaa! You're so meeaann! I just wanna hang out with youu!"

"Ugh," Kyoya rolled his eyes, getting really annoyed with the fact that Tamaki still decided to show him so much attention despite the fact that he was so far out of Kyoya's reach. "Shouldn't you be showering your girlfriend with attention right now? Before she starts to get jealous."

Making a sound not unlike a kicked puppy, Tamaki slinked away from Kyoya and returned to Haruhi's side, where she awkwardly pats him on the back. They were talking now, and Kyoya couldn't make out the words, so why should he care? He picked up the phone again, sighing and continuing the conversation with Beni, "I'm getting tired of this shit, he keeps trying to pester me when he's got Haruhi to pester."

"He's your boyfriend, you idiot, of course he wants to 'shower you with affections' as you so lovingly put it."

"Will you shut up about that?" Kyoya snapped back, getting really tired, and really damn upset with it at this point. "If he was, then Haruhi wouldn't be in the goddamn picture, would she?"

Beni's tone noticeably softened, and she sighed, "oh you stupid whore…" he could hear her take a deep breath before she spoke, "you know how I have two girlfriends, right?"

"Uh huh?"

"Is it really so impossible that the moron is under the impression that he's dating the both of you? And just haven't actually told you that yet?"

"Oh come on, I know he's dumb but he's not that dumb. You're just mocking me now, and not even in an entertaining way, leave me alone now."

And with that, Kyoya hung up. He sighed and leant back in his chair, accidentally making eye contact with Mori, who looked almost confused. Although it was hard to read any emotion on that guy's face. "Oh come on," Kyoya defended himself, partly to Mori but mostly to himself, "I'm right, aren't I?"

_______________________________________

A few moments later, the time came to leave and Kyoya put his laptop back into his bag- sighing. He had maybe been too harsh today; what with him snapping at both Tamaki and Beni, but they were both annoying him, and he had a right to not be annoyed. It didn't matter, he was going to go home, he was going to eat the sweets he'd received from the guests and the cookies his sister made him every year, then he was going to read a trashy romance novel and then head to bed. It was his yearly tradition for both white day and valentine's day, he wasn't usually a romantic man, but entire days surrounding love were upsetting- he couldn't help but feel lonely.

Today was going to be worse, it was already worse. Tamaki was with Haruhi now, there wasn't even going to be any hanging out for an hour or two before Tamaki had to leave so he could go home and have dinner. Kyoya was going to be completely alone, not even with any hope of phoning his best friend- even if Haruhi and Tamaki didn't spend that much time together, there was no way Tamaki would want to talk to him after the way he'd snapped. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice when Haruhi approached him, so when she put her hand on his arm gently, he jumped

"Oh, sorry senpai, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?"

Kyoya frowned, trying not to look too angry. "Ah, no no, it's fine. Did you need anything?"

"Yeah, actually." She paused, her expression clearly one of stress. "You seemed annoyed with me today, is everything okay?"

Of all people, why did Haruhi have to notice? Kyoya sighed, his anger mostly just stress at this point. "No, nothings wrong. I have no issue with you- if you mean what I said to Tamaki then it should be clear I have no qualm with you."

"Mori-senpai said you were jealous of me." She spoke so bluntly, but gently too. Almost like she didn't realise that what she said was like she was trying to start a fight- it sounded like she was trying to be comforting.

Kyoya bristled, sighing and gritting his teeth. "Mori rarely makes observations, are you sure that's what he said?"

Haruhi sighed, massaging her temples and glancing over at Tamaki, "do you have anything to say?"

It was only then that Kyoya realised that Tamaki was still there, laying across a chaise lounge, looking incredibly upset. Panic began to rise in Kyoya; Tamaki must hate him by now, now there's no way they could even stay friends. He'd ruined it…

"Are we friends, Kyoya?"

Adjusting his uniform, Kyoya tried to compose himself, walking over to where the king was lounging. "Well I should hope so, you haven't stopped going on about how close we are since we met. Although I noticed you haven't used the word friend in quite a while, perhaps you've found some fault in me?" That last question came off a little weaker sounding than he had hoped, he didn't want to sound upset or scared. He watched Tamaki's reaction quietly, hoping he wouldn't catch his shadow's fear.

"Oh…" was all Tamaki said in response, sitting up and staring at Kyoya as if he'd just had an epiphany. Kyoya mentally changed his plans for the evening- maybe he could have a breakdown instead of reading the romance novel he'd set aside? That would probably take up the same amount of time. Tamaki was looking at Haruhi now, looking incredibly guilty for some reason. "You were right, I didn't think…"

"No, that's right," Haruhi confirmed, sounding a little annoyed now, "you didn't think." She sighed, walking over and gently guiding Kyoya to the opposite chaise lounge as she did, sitting next to him. "Kyoya-senpai you will not believe what he thought."

"Oh?" Kyoya asked curiously, his heart was in the process of crumbling into even smaller pieces than before, but he couldn't deny that he wanted to know what on earth had annoyed Haruhi this time.

"Do you want to tell him?"

"Can you..?"

Haruhi sighed, patting Kyoya gently on the knee. "I'm so sorry senpai, Tamaki was under the impression that the two of you had already been dating for quite a while, but it seemed he never said anything or actually asked you. So this moron believed you were with him, just like I was. That was why he had asked you how you felt about me becoming his girlfriend."

Kyoya remembered being asked that question, he had assumed that Tamaki was asking his friend for advice. He couldn't have imagined…

"Beni was right…"

"Huh?"

"Beni? The girl from lobelia??"

"Yes, she kept referring to you as my boyfriend and it was getting really annoying because-"

"-because you thought he was out of reach?" Haruhi finished his sentence for him, looking simultaneously annoyed, amused and sympathetic. "Yeah, I figured that was the case as soon as Mori-senpai told me what he'd heard."

"Kyooyyyaaaa!" Tamaki practically flung himself at Kyoya, sobbing, "Mon Ami! Mon amour! I'm so sorry! That must have been so painful for you!" The boy now had his head in Kyoya's lap, kneeling at the shadow king's feet. Kyoya felt almost like he was in shock, his mind completely refusing to process what was happening.

"You…" he started, feeling the looks he got from them both, "you never said anything… you never kissed me… or anything…" he paused. No, he was right. Tamaki hadn't even tried to be romantic, had he? Not to Kyoya's knowledge. "How the hell was I supposed to know any of this?"

Haruhi nodded, "well he's got a point." She then turned to Kyoya, sighing, "he hasn't kissed me yet either, I asked if he'd kissed you yet and he said he can't decide who should get his first kiss." A pause, all three of them coming to the same conclusion at the same time; "I think you should have it, if you still want it."

Tamaki stood now, placing one hand on Kyoya's cheek, "would that be enough, Kyoya? Could I make it up to you that way? It was such a stupid thing… I really thought you knew."

"Of course, it's up to you whether you even like the situation Tamaki's constructed, you're free to leave if you want."

Kyoya paused, looking at both of them in hesitation. He loved Tamaki so much, and if he thought about it; he really liked Haruhi as well. But the way this was happening… he wasn't sure. Everything was uneven, tilted. He didn't know what he could really do and frankly, he felt cornered.

"Tamaki…" he started, pulling Tamaki's hand away from his cheek, "can you please sit down? I need some room to breathe."

A gasp, as Tamaki scrambled back to the chaise lounge, nodding. "Of course, of course. I'm sorry." Haruhi leant back without even being asked, ever the sensible one.

Kyoya sighed, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes. "I hope you realise the position you've put me in." He glanced to the both of them, noting their expressions. "Do you have any plans for this evening or are you going to wait for my answer the entire night?"

Haruhi spoke up, "well we were just going to spend some time at Tamaki's place, have some dinner there and things like that- I told him he has to talk to you about the whole ordeal because he was worrying you weren't going to come when asked because you seemed mad at him- and I realised you might not be on the same page as him."

"So your plans involve me?" Kyoya hadn't even considered that to be an option, he realised they had to have had plans, but the fact that Tamaki thought Kyoya was with them hadn't fully sunk in so he hadn't… oh, all the times Tamaki spent valentine's day at Kyoya's home… Kyoya had never felt so loved so suddenly. "You're an idiot Tamaki, a real idiot, do you know that?"

His tone held absolutely no anger, and Tamaki could tell that, nodding in response, the shame still plain on his face. "Yes, I know… I'm sorry Kyoya."

"You should have just said something, I'm observant but I'm not a fucking miracle worker." It was the first time they'd ever heard Kyoya swear and it clearly shocked the two of them quite a bit. "If I was unable to realise when my own cousin tried to kidnap Haruhi, why the hell do you think I'd be able to notice that you were being romantic towards me? You're a touchy person with your friends; how was I supposed to tell the difference?"

"Oh… I guess that makes sense…" Tamaki sighed, it seemed that the point had fully sunk in for him.

Haruhi interrupted the moment with her own epiphany, "hey wait! Is Beni your cousin?"

“Yes?” Kyoya looked at her, a little confused that she couldn’t tell. “Didn’t you know? We talk quite often.”

“Why didn’t you make her leave Haruhi alone!” Tamaki whined, “you didn’t even say anything!”

Kyoya raised an eyebrow at that, looking Tamaki up and down until the king realised what he’d just said and sunk back into his seat. “It wasn’t really any of your business to be fair, and to be honest, I’ve been pointing out her hypocrisy for a long time now.” A pause, and he decided to steer the conversation back on course, “so you want me to spend this evening with you both? You want-”

“-we want to know if you’d actually want the relationship Tamaki thought he had.”

Thinking about it, Kyoya realised that it was all he’d ever wanted. For all he acted blunt and cruel, he had only ever wanted to be loved… and they were both offering. His eyes burnt as he nodded slowly, “you’re stupid, you’re both so stupid…”

Tamaki smiled in amusement at that, looking so happy, “we love you too, Kyoya.”

Haruhi sighed, standing up and rolling her eyes. If it wasn’t for her smile, she might look annoyed. “Come on then boys, before they lock us in here.” She picked up Kyoya’s bag, holding it out to him. He took it and began following her out of the room, with Tamaki close behind them.

On the way to the limo, they were silent, just settling into their roles. Kyoya contemplated his position within this odd relationship. It had been a strange start, but he really hoped it would go well. His last boyfriend had a fiance and that sort of worked for a while, although this time Kyoya was going to be dating both people in the relationship and he was significantly older than he was last time, so it was probably going to be a slightly more mature relationship. Haruhi’s hands brushed against his own as they walked, and Kyoya felt his heart flutter in a way he hadn’t known since he first developed a crush on Tamaki- although he remembered feeling something similar when Haruhi called him out that one time…

Sitting in the limo, Tamaki clung to him. It seemed he’d just clocked on to the fact that Kyoya had denied the affection he offered because he thought Haruhi would get jealous. He didn't mind the affection now, especially not when Haruhi sat opposite to him, smiling fondly at the both of them. In fact, Kyoya dared to lean into the touch, his thumb gently rubbing the back of Tamaki's hand as the boy snuggled up close to him.

In Tamaki's bedroom, they sat down and shared a pot of tea. Tamaki placed a pile of chocolate boxes on the table, "these are from our guests, you can have as many as you like."

"We have our own boxes?" Kyoya questioned, wondering what loving nonsense Tamaki had come up with now.

"Yes, of course, but does the idea of lovers sharing the chocolates of admirers not appeal to you? Is it not romantic?"

At that notice, Kyoya couldn't help but chuckle. "You idiot, neither of us even like sweets that much."

"Yeah," Haruhi nodded, "I don't even know what I'm going to do with all my chocolates. What do you usually do, Kyoya-senpai?"

At that, Kyoya flushed a little. In truth, he had a bit of a sweet tooth. He always said he didn't like sweets because it made him look more mature, he wasn't sure how to respond to Haruhi's question without telling her that. "Well…"

"Eh," Haruhi, dismissed him, thinking to herself out loud, "I can just give it to my dad. But yeah, Tamaki, I don't think either of us want chocolate."

"Hmm," Tamaki paused, clearly thinking. He took one of the boxes and opened it; the chocolates inside were of the shiniest, richest chocolate Kyoya had ever seen. He never got chocolates like that from his admirers- he had a surprising few compared to the rest of the club. It was dusted with pink shimmer that gave the chocolates a mouthwatering sheen. "Not even one box?"

Kyoya could imagine what they might feel like in his mouth, and he wanted more than anything to reach out and take it. He couldn't, however, because doing so would mean letting his guard down further and admitting to wanting something- huh… it was just like earlier.

Tamaki was smarter than he looked, smiling a deviously charming smile as he took one of the chocolates out of the box, leaning over the table and holding out to Kyoya. "Are you sure you don't want one, mon amour? You're allowed to indulge."

"I…" Kyoya wasn't sure why, but his face flushed brighter than before, "Tamaki!" He huffed out, unsure how else to respond as the king chuckled slightly.

Haruhi seemed amused by this as well, but her tone was much softer than Tamaki's, "well if you want chocolate then no one's going to judge you, it's almost cute, senpai."

Rolling his eyes, Kyoya leaned forward and silently ate the chocolate Tamaki was holding as the king himself was looking at Haruhi and Haruhi herself watched in growing amusement. Tamaki seemed to be surprised by that, turning a bright shade of red and throwing himself across the room in his usual dramatic fashion. As for Kyoya, he felt himself melting into bliss as a rare treat graced his tongue, sweet and bitter chocolate with a dark red cherry syrup and a smooth, velvety texture that coated his mouth in a way that he knew he'd regret about ten minutes from now. It was wonderful…

"Tamaki…" Haruhi started, breaking both of her boys out of their thoughts, "did you do that so he'd taste more like chocolate than coffee when you kiss him?"

"I…" Tamaki paused, looking both confused and embarrassed, "maybe?"

Oh, the kiss. Kyoya had almost forgotten; Tamaki wanted Kyoya to be the first person he kissed in the relationship, to make up for the misunderstanding. He had almost forgotten about that, it made him smile. How comforting to think that this was Tamaki's response to seeing Kyoya had been upset.

They must have noticed his smile, because both of them were smiling now as Tamaki tucked his hand under Kyoya's chin, turning his head to face him. "Tamaki," Kyoya started, rolling his eyes in amusement, "you know those tricks don't work on me."

"Oh?" Tamaki raised an eyebrow, "why is it that you've turned pink then, mon beau? Is it that you want that kiss now, perhaps?"

"Perhaps I do."

[tartagliaxx]

Hello! I really love your flower event and your writing is so beautiful! May I please request Albedo and heliotropes? Thank you!

Congrats on 500+ followers and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

“ ALBEDO + HELIOTROPE ”

━━ ☆ PAIRING: albedo/reader

━━ ☆ GENRE: fluff

━━ ☆ SUMMARY: heliotrope | eternal love, devotion

━━ ☆ WARNINGS: slightly canon divergent

there should be disgust, you thought to yourself as you stared at his perfect form, there should be hate so why is there none?

mortals playing gods, creating life from scratch. gods playing mortals, being greedy and selfish and jealous and all that unsightly emotions. albedo playing a role not fitted for him— a sign of mockery and a sign of pride soon to be abandoned. you shouldn't feel pity but you did anyway.  

you supposed that the many years that had passed had done a number on you, softening and making you too empathetic for your own good. is that what it meant to be lonely? is loneliness an empty chalice you bear until you lose heart and wish it upon no one else?

albedo was... artificial — unnatural, and unsightly — an insult to your name but he was also alone and deprived and lonely. he was too human to be a god and too godly to be human. he never quite fits and as did you— you who roamed the soils with a name borrowed from someone else. you who were a god laid forgotten in some distant corner of a library. you who despite learning how to feel like a human would never be human enough to fit in.

"you're staring." blunt and to most, emotionless, but you heard enough voices in your life to recognize the subtle lilt in his.

"and you've been tinkering with that thing for over two hours now."

an interchange you would never have thought you'd be making but one you were thankful for, regardless. albedo's soft chuckle permeated the air and it was too melodic — too perfect — to come out the lips of someone who's not quite a god. meanwhile, the bashful aversion of gaze, the sudden rush of crimson blood, were too rough and unbecoming for someone who was built to be above it.

"if i didn't know any better i'd say you're being quite... needy."

you scoffed, crossing your legs in a manner mortals could only refer to as a defensive gesture. "i am not! i am simply... bored out of my wits."

"how odd. it appears that your boredom suggests an immediate need for my attention."

"you're giving yourself too much credit." you rolled your eyes, shifting your weight as you stared him down indignantly, as faux as it was. "have you ever considered that i only see you as a toy?"

"once but..." albedo momentarily looked up, signs of mischief swimming in his beautiful teals. "even children get tired off their toys after a few years and we've known each other for what? a few hundred?"

"you—!" you coughed, perhaps too flustered than you should be. "you narcissistic asshole!"

"not narcissistic, merely factual."

half of you wanted to blast him off with a huge gust of power, anything to knock that annoyingly pretty knowing smile of his.

"you're being cheeky. i don't like it. maybe you're spending too much time with that knight—"

"captain kaeya? we barely even meet."

there should be hate but there is none. all you could see was the magnificent way his lips were quirked, unabashed in showing you his amusement. too human, your mind screamed in fury, as you bit your lip. too nonchalant with your lost regality.

"are you okay?" albedo frowned, noticing your furrowed brows and distant gaze. it happens more often than you knew but this was the first time he inquired.

"it's—" everything that shouldn't be. mountains full of contradictions and bitter ironies. "nothing."

"if you say so..."

why couldn't he ask further? he was an alchemist for archons' sake! his entire being was made to question this and that so why couldn't he seek the source of your melancholy?

"why do you hold back?" good question. albedo froze when he realized that it didn't come from the familiar voices in his head but from you who was staring at him in confusion. "there's something you want to ask but you never do"

"because i... to be frank, i don't know. yet."

he did know, for the most part, at least. there was a fear that came in pushing your buttons too far— a fear that he will overstep his boundaries and you'll fly away never to return. there was a nagging feeling that he'll mess up somewhere in a relationship he actually cared to maintain. when that happens, he'll be all alone again. a lonely god, a common occurrence. a lonely inhuman being, rarer than a perfect mistake. he shouldn't be thinking much of it but... he didn't want to be left with no one to run to. not again.

"if you say so..." you repeated his words, lips twitching up when albedo huffed at your weak attempt to joke.

sometimes, albedo was too good— too perfect— and it brings your supposedly divine being to shame. he was kind and restrained and ever graceful when you did nothing but wreak havoc on those who dared mispronounce your name. sure, it was millennia ago, when unjustified bouts of anger were considered the norm amongst the gods who walked the earth but did it change the severity of your sins? not even close.

"you're doing it again."

"unfortunately, i am aware."

albedo sighed, leaving his task to stand before you, hands slowly moving a stray strand of your hair away from your face. "then, can i ask this time?"

perhaps you could afford to be honest for a change, the naive voice of your heart echoed in your mind.

"i've lived for far too long when i didn't deserve to. i've walked for miles in mortal soil — foreign lands and all — but without the companionship of the only people who understood what it was to be... to be born like me."

you tipped your head in mourning but you didn't cry. already having spent years upon years shedding tears for the lost, you were sure that none were left in you. "and they were gone while i had to watch everything die around me. the life of a perfect being... everyone told stories of valiance and glory but no one ever speaks about the hidden truth of desolation."

"but then," things changed. "i met you. you who were made in our image. you who is better than us. a fake, a product of arrogance, a thorn to be removed. as a god, i should condemn your existence but as a person who longed to have someone after thousands of years roaming around meaninglessly— forgotten and irrelevant in the grander plans of the universe... to that person, you are a blessing."

"albedo, you—" you grinned at him and it was the first time albedo saw you look so... young and vibrant. so full of the life you ironically lost through the years of living. "you make me less lonely."

you make me less lonely. simple words for the grandest of sentiments. one that he returned wholeheartedly. his feelings— one that he could never quite define before— all summed up in a matter of five ordinary words that held more gravity than ten worlds combined.

"i don't know what to say," he mumbled in reply as he cupped your face in his warm, warm hands. "i've been damned since my creation and for a while, i lived without any idea how to or for what. i can't say that things are better now but... some days i think it's alright as long as i'm not in this alone."

a lonely god and a lonely imposter to the eyes of the world you may be but together, you soften the idea of living in perpetuity into one light and easy dream.

━━ ☆ NOTES: ahhhh!! thank you so much! you sound so sweet and you’re making me gush! i hope you liked this and once again, thank you for taking the time to join in the fun! view the rest of the event shorts here! 💐

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

My friend is a big fan of you as well and asked me to request this:

A Janus fic based on the song Monster by Dev https://youtu.be/5iA_oFDNt9E

I think the song could fit him quite well, maybe with the others being like “out of all of us, h i m???”

-🦑

Songfic?? With Janus angst?? My time has come *ascends*

CW: Unsympathetic Light Sides (they're not assholes but they're basically unsupportive, concerned for Reader, and hateful/distrustful of Janus)

...........

Call the doctor, call the doctor Must be something wrong with me He's a monster, why do I want ya Please tell me, please tell me

"What?!! [Y/n] this..this cannot possibly be true!"

"Roman-"

"You could've had any one of the fine gentlemen here...but more importantly me.."

"Roman, just calm-"

"And yet you chose him?! That wretched slimy snake?!" The princely Side pointed rudely at Janus, who was just sitting on the couch beside you. He frowned as he fiddled with the chain of his capelet, finding more interest in that than the uncomfortable conversation currently taking place.

This wasn't even the direction you nor him expected it to take. It was already going south..straight towards hell.

All because Remus couldn't keep his mouth shut and blurted out the revelation that you and Janus were dating.

Ironically, he was the one who confessed to you first--something that you're certain no Side would ever believe.

"There's got to be something wrong with your head." Roman shook his head in dismay, before approaching you. "Come now. We'll find you a true Prince Charming! One that's not a vile fibber like-"

Suddenly you sprang up, moving away from him. "You don't get to choose who I fall in love with. Remus.." You glared at the dark half of creativity. "I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't leave right now."

"Do ya promise~?" He giggled, refusing to acknowledge the seriousness of the situation. "You know I'm into that."

"Let it go, [y/n]." Janus tried to assure you. "They're both bumbling fools."

"A fool?!" Roman gasped. "The only fool here is YOU!! Trying to tempt them with your false promises of love and affection! What do you know about romance?!"

"Apparently more than you." You interrupted, standing by your lover in a defensive manner. "I know this isn't exactly how I planned to tell you but god just calm down for a minute."

You definitely didn't anticipate this kind of freakout from him. You thought he'd be asking about the how's and when's of falling in love, as one would expect from the "romantic expert" of the Sides.

You had a plan to tell all of them individually, but..starting with the guy who was deceived most and openly mocked his name probably wasn't a good idea.

Eventually the two halves of creativity left you both alone. And only then did you sit back down next to the now-dejected Janus, holding his hand. "Sorry you had to hear all that."

"Oh don't worry, it'sss new to me." He muttered, squeezing your hand in turn. "I'm sure Roman will have a tough time realizing he's definitely the most handsome one around here." The smirk he gave made you chuckle.

"Yeah, well..he'll get over it. We got off on the wrong foot with him, but I'm sure the others will be more accepting."

He's a monster He's a monster That boy, he's a motherfucking monster But I love him, yeah I love him Ooh ah, ooh ah ah

"Seriously? That guy?"

"Just hear me out, Virgil-"

"Oh I've heard plenty. I'm just warning you that it's a bad idea." Virgil huffed as he put his phone down. "He's a monster who's gonna use you for some selfish gain. You've seen it. He only cares about himself and hurts people to keep it that way."

"I know you've known him longest but...I'm pretty sure at this point he's moved past all of that." You pointed out. "Honestly, the only one being hurt here is him. First Roman, and now you?"

Despite your arguments, he just didn't seem convinced. "I'm not doing this to give you anxiety...I can only do that to Thomas. And I'm not gonna say "breakup with him right now". I'm just telling you that he's not what he seems."

"I appreciate your worries, but I love him and that's that." You insisted, crossing your arms over your chest as you stood defiant. Obviously it was in his nature to tell you to stay cautious, and he'd probably say the same if you were dating anyone else.

But calling Janus a monster seemed awfully harsh. You haven't even heard him call Remus that, which was odd.

'Seriously why is he being such a prick?'

"..whatever you say." Virgil shrugged before sinking out, leaving you alone by the staircase.

"I wouldn't worry. His opinion of me has never changed."

You realized Janus was eavesdropping and turned to face him, sighing. "Jan, are you doing something that's making them be so... brutally honest? This just seems unusual for them."

"Not that I'm aware of." He had briefly removed his glove, indicating he was tell you the truth.

"Hm..then again, Roman and Virgil are sorta the least-rational ones. One's jealous that he doesn't have a date and the other overthinks a lot."

"Wonderful observations, my dear."

"Patton and Logan are more down-to-earth and clear-headed so they might have more understanding."

"I'm sure they will." Janus' tone didn't match the optimistic words he uttered as he slipped the glove back on. "Oh and..I'll try not eavesdrop anymore."

Little did you know, that would be two lies.

Most people are scared When they look him in the eyes, all they see is fear (but) Let me make this clear I want him near

"How can you look into his eyes and..and.."

"Go on."

"And not be scared?! I know I would be, kiddo."

"...Patton, is that seriously your only argument? That he looks creepy?"

"No, no! I just..." For a moment the fatherly Side paused, before he sighed and patted your shoulder. "Listen, I do think you're being a good influence on that wriggly snake but...I only worry he's being a bad influence on you. Every time he's near you I-"

"It sounds like your only argument is "he's a creepy crawly snake so I shouldn't trust or love him". Is that all?"

"It's...a bit more complicated than-"

"It's a yes or no, Pat."

"...I'm trying to look at the bigger picture and, sure there's some good in him but..I worry he's gonna hurt you in the end, that's all. Like he hurt us several times by impersonating us." He tried to reason, but you just brushed his hand off your shoulder in disbelief.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be one to judge books by their covers." You frowned slightly. "Well let me make this clear: I want him near me. I feel safe around him. I love him, outward appearances and all. So if you can't accept the way I see him then...we're done here."

With no more defenses, Patton sank out as you left the room. But in the hallway you spotted a familiar capelet vanish around the corner, and you found Janus, who manifested a brown eye contact over his snake eye. His scales almost vanished under his skin, but you called out to him before they could disappear entirely.

"Janus? I thought you weren't going to-"

"I..n-never expected Patton of all people to say that.." He held the side of his face shakily, keeping his head lowered so you didn't see the gradually forming tears. Only now he was starting to feel the impact of everyone's words. "If..it's my looks then...I can surely make adjusssstments.."

"No, sweetheart. You don't have to change your looks or be anyone else for me." You cupped a hand over the one that still covered the scales. "C'mon. You can't seriously believe Patton's dumb reasoning, right?"

"........."

All you got was a silent nod.

Most people can't sleep Feeling he's out, on the streets (but) He is my creep He is my creep

"While I see your relationship to Janus is beneficial-"

"Actually, nevermind. You're just gonna tell me the same shit everyone else did."

"...now [y/n], remember what we've discussed on cognitive distortions-"

"Jumping to conclusions? Overgeneralizing? I know. But I have valid reasons for those. You all think Janus is gonna hurt me because he's some "freaky selfish snake". But he's not, alright? He's been more truthful with me lately and I'm sick of the others not believing anything we say. So please, Logan..can you take my side for once?"

Logan was surprised by your outburst. He didn't even know you've talked to the others about Janus and assumed he'd respond in a similar fashion.

But he adjusted his glasses and looked at his notebook, all traces of emotion vanishing. "Logic can't take sides. If you would just listen..I've observed that your interactions with him have been generally positive, and that's helped Thomas-"

"There you go again..why does everything always gotta lead back to Thomas? Can't you just recognize Janus as his own person without assuming I'm only dating him to help-?"

"Because he can't be distracted from his core function!!"

You jumped a bit as he slammed down the notebook, scowling at you with a slight orange tinge behind his glasses. Though it was quick to disappear as he sighed. "He can never be his own person. You two will never have a truly normal relationship. I only advise that you keep that in the back of your mind."

And just like that, he left.

Every discussion you've had with a "Light" Side only left the bitter taste of frustration in your mouth...

Now what should you-?

You were startled again as you heard a nearby door slam shut, before realizing who overheard this conversation.

"Shit."

Is he human, does it matter I know he's what I'm after I can reel him, from disaster I know

"So..th-that's how they all see me, huh? A monster..n-not even a person."

"Jan.." Joining your boyfriend on the king-sized mattress, decorated in black and gold much like himself, you could finally see those walls he built up now crumbling to pieces.

One way or another, he heard what every Side had to say about him. And it was more than enough for him to realize they not only shun him for simply existing..

But they refuse to accept the idea that he's worthy of love, too. He can take the name-calling and insults in the videos, but this is what truly broke him.

He just scratched at his scales, his human eye already red and raw from crying as he wondered why you went through all of this just for him.

Any sane person would listen to the others and just breakup with him. He wasn't worth the effort.

You clearly deserved better.

You deserved someone who's more handsome, chill, kindhearted, or sensible-

"I know you can't truly be human but..does it matter?"

"...does it?" He sniffled, leaning into your touch more as you ran a hand through his hair. "Because apparently not. I know I'm not a perfect, flawless individual..I-I don't expect any of us to be. But if only I-I never-"

"Jan..you can't focus on what you can't change. I know you feel guilty, and if the others can't see that...it's their own fault. I won't stop fighting for us and for your happiness. I love you, okay?" Turning to him fully, you cupped both sides of his face and looked into his eyes.

"And in case you think I'm lying, I'll say it again: I. Love. You. None of their words will change that."

Hearing you become so determined to love him despite all odds made him sob again, this time from relief, as you put your arms around him.

Nobody's ever taken his side on anything...and certainly never defended him the way you did.

You felt several extra arms manifest to hug you back, and you smiled, closing your eyes.

Maybe in time the others will understand. But while it's true he looked like a monster and had his deceitful ways..

You knew what you were after.

And so did he.

Call the doctor, call the doctor Must be something wrong with me He's a monster, why do I want ya Please tell me, please tell me

[natsukitakama]

Being in relationship with Porco would include

Author note : Hi there ! How are you ?  I wrote most of it while I couldn’t sleep I hope it’ll be fine ♡ please let me know if you like it 

just look at him please it should be illegal to look that good 

Warning : slight mention of nsfw / some spoilers if you haven’t seen the new season of Attack on titans 

I do not own that gif credit to the owner 

Masterlist 

Him being cocky asf I swear he was born cocky. I don’t know if he is super confident or if he is just natural but he lives to tease the hell out of you 

At first he might act as if he was not interest on you. But no one believed him, not when he constantly got his eyes on you. Alway looking for you even when you were surrounded by people because of a festivities or anything else. 

Sometimes you’re just walking pass him and unfortunately you didn’t notice him but he did he always did. If you were more focused you would noticed how his eyes last on you. 

When he flirts he flirts. He is super bold about it and won’t be afraid to be straight to you. Like one day you were working and didn’t notice him at first but he started to flirt with you with his stupid grin telling you how gorgeous you look today, how your cloth Underline your natural beauty. 

I think he is kinda clingy, not in a wrong way. But sometimes when you two are chatting with each other he would brush his hands against yours just to have the pleasure of seeing goosebump on your body. 

Or sometimes he will just bend slightly just enough so he could whisper in your ear, you would feel his breath on your neck wishing he could kiss your neck 

He will just give him time 

He might be at first being clingy in public or even showing you off, being an endian (even if he is a Titan) means he can’t do everything he wants to especially because he is afraid someone might try to take you away from him. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mahr or an eldian (though he might be even more anxious being close to you if you’re a mahr because he knows both of you would be in trouble but at the same time he got excited by the thought of you wanted him despite him being an endian) he would still be cautious while being with you in Public 

When you two are in more private place though : he is clingy, he just can’t control his hands, they have to be on you (holding your hand, grabbing your ass, stroking your hips or your thigh). 

He is not really into hug he prefers more sensual act of love like kissing, but if you’re running into him or just hug him when he goes home and you just hug him, his heart would melt. Don’t do it in front of Reiner he doesn’t want to be seen vulnerable : but I promise you he will blush like a tomato, even more if you’re kissing his cheeks. 

Speaking of Reiner, be careful cause I can picture him to be jealous, like a lot, he is possessive man I can feel it. So everytime he will see you two chitchatting, Porco can’t help but need to mark his territory meaning he will put his arm around your shoulder, or even try to make you blush just to reminds Reiner that you’re his. 

He tends to do it to every man he might feel uncomfortable (because they’re stronger, smarter or wealthier than him) especially if you’re mahr 

He is always acting like he is super confident, but he remains a little brother : he can’t forgive himself for not discovering his big brother’s plan or for not being strong enough so the military won’t change his position for Reiner. Even if he has his own titans he is still jealous and bitter against Reiner 

Sometimes he feels guilty for loving you : after all he only has couple of years to live while you would have an eternity without him. Even if he’ll probably tell you to live your life and find someone else, he can’t forgive himself. But he is very selfish, as soon as he falls in love with you he wanted to keep you all for himself. 

Another angry baby (say hello Eren), even if he is pretty rough, you tend to not fight that much. Most of the time you can avoid argument because you’re calm enough to understand his point and to make a compromise so you two aren’t angry at each other. 

But sometimes argument can’t be avoiding, so instead of yelling at you or be condescending most of the time he chooses to leave you for couple of hours just to relax. When he is calm enough he would go back to see you with a bouquet of flower to apologize for being an asshole

At the beginning of your relationship, you thought that you’re two were sexfriends cause honestly he always managed to have you under him or sometimes on his laps. 

It didn’t help that he spent most of his time with Pieck, during a lot of time you believed he was into Pieck but couldn’t have her so he chooses you instead. It broke your heart and when you confront him well he didn’t react the way you thought he would. He just look at you deep in the eyes, he looked quite confuses : why would he date Pieck ? Why would he want to spend time with her while he could have quality time with you ? 

The only thing he said that day was « are you blind ? » 

His sex drive are pretty huge, maybe it’s because he is a beast and so he felt some animal instinct or because he just loves to hear you moaning his names, but it’s like he can’t never get enough of you. 

You see it coming but he bites you a lot, he just loves that sometimes it’s the sight of his love marks on your body that turn him on for another round. You’ll be warned. 

Don’t wear black lacy lingerie or you won’t leave your bedroom or with sore legs 

Do not talk that much about his friends, but talks shit about Reiner I just can see him giving you 99999 reasons to not talk to him. 

But with time he’ll talk a lot with you he just needs a little time especially about his brother : he is still bitter about it. 

Do not expect him to dance with you 

Kidding, he will if your giving him puppy eyes 

You can get whatever you want with it 

I mean everything 

Even if he noticed how you’re manipulating him, he can’t help but melt when you’re looking at him with those eyes of yours, even worse if you give him a pout. 

Sometimes he dreams about his brother and can’t help but cry while sleeping, he won’t say it, but please hug him and stroke his hair during time like this he needs to feel loved. 

Just realize that eren and Porco are angry boys and both would be jealous if they saw their S/O with Reiner. Stop being handsome Reiner it doesn’t help at all. 

I don’t believe he is the type to spoil you but in way you’ll be spoil. For exemple if he saw you looking at something for a long time or if he noticed that you’re talking a lot about something and are actually working to buy it. Don’t say much Porco Is here, what’s the point of having money if he can’t buy something for you ? 

He doesn’t know how to react when you are buying him something, internally he is so happy he feels so love but he doesn’t know how to react so he will hug you or kiss you on the cheeks thanking you for this (that’s me I can’t receive a gift properly so lame) 

Also he teases a lot but you can expect behavior like this judging by how cocky he is, it’s even worse when he started to court you. My gosh the man never stop to praise himself, he really thought that you’ll become interest on him but he started quickly when you tease him telling him how great it could be to be in relationship with itself. After that he tried to be more humble 

It never worked, he still shows off but you find it quite cute as if you two remain into the flirt part of your relationship. Especially because he is always giving you compliment. 

And during sex man, he can’t help but smirk ALL the fucking time. He is just so proud, even when he is on his back letting you have your way with him he’ll tease you, he’ll force you to go at his pace. He loves being in control. 

The man is not afraid to tell you when you’re hot, gorgeous, pretty, cute he looks his time to look at you up and down then whistle and would say something like « damn babe you look fine in those pants should wear it before » 

Oh if you’re asking he is an ass/thigh man but that’s for another headcanon 

Even after a long time being in relationship with him, he still has difficulty to tell you when something is wrong. He is so proud, he can’t admit when he fails something or just when he feels down. You’ll have to confront him, or even better acting not bothering to ask him what’s wrong and instead starting to help him. 

When you’re doing things like that god, he wish he could spend the eternity with you

oh and by the way, yes he knows he looks good in suit and will always tease for looking at for too long. 

[cassandraclare]

Jessa/Wessa ship wars

teenagefunbouquet said:Isn't it enough Tessa&Jem got a wedding comic, two kids (and you say more), a lifetime as the only mates for each other and your most explicitly written sex scene After the Bridge? Wessa are the most popular and we get nothing, every wessa moment is shared with Jem while Jessa get to be alone, Wessa fans got no "anticipation" like jessa fans are getting now everyday you give them a book in jem's pov or a short story or a new kid. it feels like wessa is dead.

I’ll be interested in people’s thoughts on this. (I left the username as is since it’s a blank account, probably created to ask this question, so no one’s really getting hurt in this minor drama.) Most of my long and somewhat crabbish post is under the read more.

First, let me reply with the obvious, which is the Jessa rebuttal: “Isn’t it enough that Will gets to be Tessa’s first love and Jem only gets to be her second? Isn’t it enough that Will and Tessa had sex when they thought Jem was dead? Isn’t it enough that there’s a whole series about Will and Tessa’s kids but we only find out that Jem and Tessa had a kid in a short story? Isn’t enough that Jem and Tessa have spent half their relationship looking for a kid who’s related to Will, not either of them? Isn’t it enough that Will and Tessa got two biological kids they got to spend eighteen years raising and Jem and Tessa only get like two years with Kit? Jessa are the most popular, but half the stories in Ghosts of the Shadow Market happened while Will was still alive! And now Wessa fans are getting content every day and have two more books of Wessa being married and doing cute stuff to look forward to. Every day they’re getting a special edition of a book with a whole short story about their wedding. It feels like Jessa is dead.”

Not that I believe any of that either: I think both complaints are equally silly and selfish. But they are complaints rooted in the same logic, which is “My ship is the best and most popular, and every time I see something that in my mind supports the ship I hate I feel angry and diminished, and rather than perhaps examining those feelings I’d like to vent them on other fans and the creator.”

So. My feeling about this is: I am sad to see there is still some kind of a ship war here. As far as I am concerned...

the Wessa/Jessa ship war ended in 2012 when we found out Tessa loved both boys equally and would spend a lifetime with both of them. The end. Quibbling about irrelevant details like how many kids each couple has subsequently or examining closely the explicitness of their sex scenes seem bizarre and pointless. It has nothing to do with how books and stories are made, or how they work, or what functions they serve. At this point it’s like you decided your favorite football team could definitely beat another team, and you spend all your time obsessing about it even though they will never play against the other team because the other team is a hockey team.

When I see people say that “Wessa got” something or “Jessa got” something, it makes me cringe. It reduces stories that are about other things, often friendship, to being about a ship war I am not a part of. (Not every story or book in which a couple appears is a story about that ship. Sometimes they’re just grouting their shower or fighting a demon.) Wessa and Jessa are not dueling pop stars fighting over who gets to perform on the Tonight Show. In fact, they are not fighting at all, which is part of the underlying problem. People are used to love triangles where two guys are fighting over a girl and are jealous of each other. Will and Jem are not jealous of each other. They are not fighting over Tessa. To believe that it lessens Will and Tessa’s relationship that Jem is around and alive, or that it makes Jem and Tessa’s relationship better that Will is dead, is a fundamental misunderstanding of these characters and the story they are in. You are trying to shove a square peg into a round hole, and it will cause you endless misery and frustration.

For instance, claiming that “every Wessa moment is spent with Jem.” Well, that’s ridiculous. Obviously, Will and Tessa spent an enormous amount of quality time alone together in TID. (Otherwise, you would have no investment in this relationship in the first place. There’s a reason you’re attached to it.) Jem did not attend their wedding. He is around in Chain of Gold mostly in his role as a Silent Brother: tending the sick, helping James, bringing news. He is not around during the scene where Will and Tessa make love, or when they kiss and cuddle in the drawing room, grossing out their kids. (I had to fight very very hard to retain even one scene of Will and Tessa alone: in a normal YA book, you would never see a sex scene between the parents, from their point of view.)

The problem is not that there is no “Wessa content” to “anticipate.” The majority of Wessa fans are happy to enjoy stuff like the wedding story or the Wessa moments in TLH. The problem is that the person asking this question will only accept a TLH book in which Jem isn’t mentioned at all as “Wessa content,” and since that would be a fundamental and appalling betrayal of the story and characters — something I would never write and never consider — they will forever feel they are not getting what they deserve.

Asker: if you think that it’s somehow better for Jem and Tessa that Will is dead, that they “get” something that Will and Tessa don’t by having had something awful happen to them, then I do not even know how to begin to speak to you. What has always been meaningful to me about Will, Jem and Tessa is that they all loved each other equally. If that is not the case, then they are not people I am interested in writing about. If that being the case makes you not want to read about them, then you are free to stop — please do — but the story is not going to become something other than it is because you feel your ship is the “most popular.” (Which it is not in my experience, the ships are about equal, and I don’t know why it would matter if it was.)

In After the Bridge, which is not an explicit sex scene but rather a short story that contains sex (they exist!) Will is mentioned thirty-two times. Here’s an example:

“Jem swallowed, running his fingers up and down the blade. “He had only just died,” he said. She didn’t need to ask who he was. There was really only one He when it was the two of them speaking. “I was afraid. I saw what happened to the other Silent Brothers. I saw how they hardened over time, lost the people they had been. How as the people who loved them and who they loved died, they became less human. I was afraid that I would lose my ability to care. To know what this knife meant to Will and what Will meant to me.”

If you think Will isn’t present in Jem and Tessa’s relationship just because he’s dead, you’re wrong. He’s mentioned constantly. (And if someone thought that made it not Jessa content, I would have the same discussion with them: If Jem and Tessa didn’t care about Will, I wouldn't care about them.)

As long as there has been fandom, there have been ship wars. Social media has added a new dimension to that, which is what you’re doing here: the ability to run to the creator and complain, hoping they’ll side with you or give you what you want.

Here’s the problem: it’s really really toxic to have been involved in a clearly vicious ship battle for years. It will destroy utterly your ability to read or enjoy the canon you’re arguing about. I’ve been there, I’ve had friends be there. If you think it’s a point for Jem and Tessa that Will is dead, if you went into Last Hours thinking Jem wouldn’t be in it, that is a sign of a profound detachment from the actual reality of the canon books. You are not interacting with what I am writing or the characters as they are. You are interacting with the fight you are having. That is why your discourse has spun so far off from the books it no longer resembles what is actually happening in them, and demands such extreme gestures to be appeased — like leaving Jem out of Lost Book when he’s actually from the city the characters are visiting, or cutting him from Last Hours even though it would be unrealistic, cruel, and a disappointment to the vast majority of readers.

Dismissing every single moment Will and Tessa have together in TLH because Jem is alive somewhere and it’s bothering you is a recipe for you to be miserable. Clearly you didn’t enjoy the Wessa wedding, or the Will and Tessa love scenes in Chain of Gold. Clearly you consider Jem and Tessa having children not to be a reason for happiness but rather bitter rage even though it is totally irrelevant to Will and Tessa’s past relationship. The only thing that would be satisfactory would be a rewrite of Clockwork Princess in which Jem was run over by a tank and Will and Tessa didn’t care and were happy and got married and we never had to hear about Jem again. But because that would require time travel and a rewrite of Will and Tessa as vile assholes, that is not a thing you are going to get. If you are determined to always be miserable about the reality of what this story is, than the only result of that is that you will always be miserable.

There is never going to be a winner of this love triangle. It isn’t that story. No amount of anything I do is ever going to change that: no short stories I write, or content I produce, or books or sex scenes or longform poems about either couple will change the fact that both Will and Jem ended up with Tessa and she loves them equally. If you want a “somebody wins” kind of love triangle, there are other books that will provide that for you. These will never be those books.

So why did you write this long screed, Cassie, the rest of you might be wondering, and fairly. Three reasons. One is that there are other questions that are carbon copies of this one (as in, written by the same person/small group of people) cluttering up my inbox, and I want to put a stop to the idea that this kind of thing is going to be acknowledged as a valid comment or complaint. It’s not. Second, we have all been driven bananas by quarantine and I am no exception. The third is that this is the last time I am going to address this kind of ship-fight-disguised-as-question. Any further demands for me to favor one Tessa ship over another will be responded to with a link to this post. In the end I’m hoping this will be a time saver once we’re all allowed outside again.

[south-park-meta]

lalochezia with anyone you'd like

Lalochezia – The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.

When he and Kyle stop being the kind of friends who tell each other everything, Stan starts to get Cartman a little. That's not something he likes to admit. Even when he and Cartman saw each other every day at the bus stop or at school, they were almost, somehow, strangely, the least like what he'd call friends out of their group of four. Even Kyle hung out with Cartman alone more than he ever had; it was something that had made Stan jealous when they were best friends. Jealous and angry and bitter, that Kyle would want to spend time with Cartman over him, when they both knew how cruel Cartman was, and they both knew Cartman was cruelest to Kyle out of anyone.

He, however, rarely saw Cartman outside of the group setting, back when he and Kyle were really, truly close. It was only when all his real friends were sick or busy, or when Cartman had struck out on his plans and had come over to his house and done puppy dog eyes at his mom to get him to come out and play despite him shaking his head 'no'. They were each other's last resort. When the group was functioning the way it was supposed to, he had little tolerance for Cartman. And Cartman, realizing there was no room for him in Stan's life outside of the group, pretended that there wasn't any room for Stan in his.

When he and Kyle stopped living out of each other's pockets, Cartman saw his opening.

Stan knew what was happening. Cartman's manipulations had never been subtle.

"You know, a good best friend would be here. It's obvious how hard this move is hitting you," Cartman said, shoving chips in his mouth on Stan's couch.

It was a clear ploy to try and weasel his way in as Stan's best friend. Stan knew he was pulling the same shit on Kyle, too, to take his role as Kyle's best friend. He knew it. It was an open secret. But Cartman had something then, that he never had before. And that was Stan's agreement. Kyle hadn't come to visit him at Tegridy then, while Cartman and Kenny had both made the trip semi-regularly. But out loud he said, "It's a long trip." He wouldn't have defended Kyle to Kyle's own face. He complained about Kyle to his mom, and to Kenny, sometimes, and wouldn't have defended him from them, either. But this was Cartman. Kyle could take their friendship and run it through a paper shredder. He could eat it and shit it out. He could set it all on fire. If there was any part of their friendship that could endure, it was the part that wouldn't let Stan give Cartman the satisfaction of thinking Kyle was rotten.

"Me and Kyle are neighbors, dipshit. I'm here."

"A good best friend wouldn't call me 'dipshit'," Stan said, apathetic. "Wanna try again, lardo?"

"A good friend wouldn't call me fucking 'lardo', either, asshole!"

It almost made Stan laugh, a twisted-up Terrance and Phillip bit. 'I'm not your dipshit, lardo.' 'I'm not your lardo, asshole'.

"We're not friends," Stan said. He'd said it before, but he really truly meant it then. It carried a weight that their casual banter with Cartman rarely had. And he wondered who the hell he was friends with.

"Well, fine, then! Fuck you, too, Stan! I don't see anyone else lining up to talk to you, you lonely sack of crap!" Cartman went to the front door and opened it, calling out to the farm, "Hello? Anyone out there? Anyone want to be Stan's friend?"

Of course there was nothing. There was silence. There were acres and acres of empty farm. There was dust blowing up off the old dirt road.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Cartman said. He turned back around, folding his arms. The screen door slammed closed, but the wooden door stayed open, letting Stan see the empty over Cartman's shoulder. "You've got two friends. Me and Kenny. How often can Kenny's poor ass visit you? If his parents buy gas, they're going to huff it, not use it to drive all the way out to Bumfuck, Nowhere."

Stan gnawed the inside of his mouth. He tried not to let Cartman know it got to him, but he'd been the one to give the opening. He'd been the one to say how far it was, out there on Tegridy. It took him a beat before he remembered to say, "Kyle's my friend, too."

Cartman's smile had gone Cheshire, wide and devious.

Stan knew he'd waited too long to object.

"Well if Kyle's going to be out here soon I guess I can go. Not like you need the company," Cartman said dismissively.

"You can stay if you want to. I don't give a crap," Stan said.

Stan knew that from Kyle, Cartman wouldn't have accepted that. He would've pushed his luck, asking for a specific invitation, demanding to be wanted. He probably would have gotten kicked out of the house just by asking for more dignity than Kyle was willing to give up.

But from Stan he didn't push for more. He settled for the apathy. Stan knew that was a bad thing, too. He knew even as Cartman's butt was settling back on his couch that he should've just told Cartman to fuck off. He should've taken the prospect of no friends at all over the prospect of friends with only Cartman. Instead, when Cartman sat back down, his heart loosened in relief.He needed someone, out in the middle of nowhere with no one around. Even if it was his last resort.

Cartman keeps coming after that, and Stan starts to get him in a way he never had before. In a way he'd never wanted to before. He starts to get the appeal of being selfish, really selfish. He starts to understand the desire of being actually mean. He's never been the nicest kid in the world or even the nicest kid in the class, but he's tried to do the right thing more than he hasn't. He's tried to be a person he can face in the mirror. There are still lines he won't cross and couldn't ever. Things that he kicks Cartman out of his house for. But it's easier to be alone if you convince yourself everyone else is an asshole. It's easier not to fight for what's right if you convince yourself the world doesn't deserve it. Cartman's way is a lot of things. It's mean and selfish and underhanded and he knows it. But Cartman's way is easier, and sometimes when everything feels hard, that's enough.

[stellar-starseed]

Closer Than That

Group: Stray Kids

Pairing: Changbin x reader, Jisung x reader, polyamory

Summary: Your best friends happen to be 3racha, but Changbin was your closest friend from childhood. When things start to take a different turn in your relationship, you’re left wondering which way is up.

Word Count: 1,791

Chapter: 12/14

Other Chapters: Master List

Warnings: 18+; sexual content, language

Chapter 12

Changbin was the first to know Jisung broke up with you in a letter. It didn’t sit well with him. He knew Jisung better than anyone and he still couldn’t figure this one out.

He was upset with himself for putting you in this position. If he hadn’t suggested this maybe you wouldn’t be hurting. He was furious with Jisung for hurting you. He was even mad that you waited so long to tell him.

He could sense you weren’t yourself and he thought it was because you were missing him just as much, little did he know you were heart broken. When he finally asked if you had sorted things out with Jisung you told him everything.

Changbin didn’t want to make things worse, but he knew he couldn’t sit on the sidelines. Changbin waited until everyone was exhausted from a day of press and recordings. He pulled Jisung aside on their way into the hotel. Jisung knew exactly what was coming. He felt like an asshole already, but he was about to feel much worse and he knew it.

“A fucking letter?” Changbin tried to keep his voice down but the anger was apparent.

Jisung looked to the ground. Changbin sighed. He knew Jisung wasn’t trying to be a jerk.

“She’s at home without any of us. I can’t even comfort her. You know you’re breaking her heart by doing this?” Changbin spat out everything he was thinking. He was furious and relieved and he missed you. It had been just over five weeks since he’d been able to wrap his arms around you.

“I didn’t have a choice.” Jisung sounded defeated. “I couldn’t keep doing this to her or myself. It would’ve dragged you down too.”

“Doing what?”

“I feel like the outsider, Changbin-ah!” Jisung exclaims as he holds his hands out in defeat. “I went from loving her in secret to loving her on the side line.”

“What if she really loves us the same?”

“Do you accept that?”Jisung’s shoulders slouched further forward if that was possible at this point. He turned to head toward the elevators. Changbin sluggishly followed as he thought about it.

“I want her to be happy.” Changbin said after thinking for a while. The elevator doors closed behind him as he looked at Jisung.

“At the cost of your own happiness? I thought I was going insane. Then I realized I don’t want the left overs. I don’t want..fuck man I don’t know.”

“You don’t want to wonder if you’re the only one who feels that much in the relationship.”

“You feel like that too?”

“I did.” Changbin shrugged. He was silent. Jisung pressed for more. Changbin took a deep breath. The elevator chimed and the doors opened. The young men stepped into the long hallway.

“I thought she loved you and she just pitied me.” Changbin said. Jisung stopped.

“Why?”

“Because she only ever talked about you for a while. She had this way she would get kind of nervous around me when I would get too close or something stupid. She always used to do it. When she really started falling for you, she quit doing it. She was so wrapped up in you.”

They began slowly walking again. Jisung mulled over this new information. He slowed down as they approached his room and decided to follow Changbin to his room instead.

“Then how did you guys even get together?” Jisung shook his head not understanding.

“I don’t give up that easily.” Changbin smirked.

“I’m not giving up.” Jisung defends himself.

“I never stopped what I was doing. It didn’t take long for her cute shy tendencies to return. She would try to deny them, but I saw them.” Changbin tossed his backpack down as he entered his room and turned to face Jisung.

“So?” Jisung leaned against the doorway.

“So, she didn’t stop loving me. She just started to love you too. It is weird sometimes, but it wasn’t the end of the world. If you’re tapping out that’s fine by me. I’ll have her back. But don’t be selfish and try to fuck with this later.”

Changbin’s words played over in Jisung’s head over the next few weeks. He pushed through. What could he do now? He already gave you the letter he was so sure about over a month ago. He hadn’t spoken with you since then and he didn’t think he could repair the damage.

“I don’t know whether to be exhausted or fucking hyped. That show was insane.” Chan laughed and fell back on the couch.

“Fucking exhausted.” Minho collapsed next to him.

“It was insane.” Hyunjin confirmed. “We should be hyped up right now...if I had the energy.” Hyunjin near fainted into one of the chairs.

“You guys are so old.” Jeongin rolls his eyes. He soon falls into the empty chair in closest proximity.

“I can’t wait to get home.” Changbin sighs.

“You want home cooking?” Seungmin questions.

“I want, ______.” He smiles wide.

“Aye, I hear there’s a spot open in your relationship.” Chan laughs.

“Fuck that.” Changbin shakes his head with a small smile.

“Too soon?” Chan questions with the biggest smile. Changbin laughs at Chan.

You were having such an off week, none of your newest suggestions were approved for either of the recent songs you had been working on. You felt defeated. Changbin tried his best to cheer you up via text message and sporadic video calls, but you knew his schedule was so hectic he couldn’t give you too much.

You were hesitant to text Jisung, but you told yourself you agreed with his final request to continue a friendship. He was your go to before all of this mess. You chewed on your fingernails and paced the studio. Maybe Chan would be a better choice, you thought.

You sighed to yourself for the hundredth time and tossed your phone on the couch. You thought better of it. Texting anyone was just going to create an even bigger mess. You’ve had creative blocks before and you can get yourself out of this one.

You called Somin and got voicemail. You decided to walk the building for inspiration instead. You smiled at vaguely familiar faces as you walked the halls. You remembered times with your boyfriend and immediately began to miss him all over again. You were stuck in a vicious cycle and decided to head to the cafe to stuff your sorrows down with sweets.

You put your headphones on and played back the additions to the track that were denied this morning. You made a few notes in the book you keep with you at all times. The piano may need to be used for your own song.

After you ordered a tea you hadn’t heard of before hoping to gain some sort of inspiration, you took a seat at your familiar table. Jisung passed through your mind. You forced the thoughts away. It was hard, but you were getting better at it. You knew they would be home in a few days and you had to figure out how to act normal. Whatever this new normal was.

You scribbled down some words that had been running through your head. Maybe you’ll come back to them when you figure out what to do with that piano. You thanked the waitress who brought your tea and took a sip.

“Blegh!” You nearly spit out the tea and stick your tongue out. You quickly try to recover as the waitress was not too far from your table and quickly turned to give you a look.

You made a mental note never to order that tea again. There was a hint of spice and sweet notes that gave this tea a false pleasurable aroma. It was so very bitter to the taste.

“Tastes like ass doesn’t it?” You look up to see the regular hair stylist that you wanted to hate.

“Honestly, it’s terrible.” You push the mug away.

“I’m Shane.” She holds her hand out to you.

“I know.” You smile. “I’m ______.”

“I know.” She giggles. “I’ve been jealous of you since I found out you were Chan’s best friend.”

“What?” You nearly choke. She, this beautiful dolled up goddess, was jealous of you?

“Seriously.” She took a seat across from you. “Chan is the hottest guy. I don’t know how you can’t melt when you’re around him.”

“He is pretty hot, but he’s seriously my best friend and I don’t know...” you immediately thought about your dream. You could nearly taste him, your dream was so vivid.

“You’ve never thought about it?” She questions.

“I mean..” you clear your throat.

“I knew it!” She laughs.

“You think you could put in a good word for me?”

“He hates being set up.” You laugh at the thought. “Like loathes it.” Shane’s big smile drops and she nods.

“Well thanks anyway?” She got up and left the coffee shop. You weren’t quite sure what that was about but you shrugged it off and gathered your stuff.

You had a few days to prepare for the guys to come home and you decided this place wasn’t where you should be spending you time. Jisung’s name was practically written all over this café.

There was nothing more comforting than your mini home studio. It didn’t have everything the company had of course, but it was nice and a lot of your best ideas came from here.

You took a seat and glanced at the couch thinking of the numerous make out sessions that took up half of your studio time the first month you started dating Jisung.

“Fuck!” You stood up and pushed your chair away. You decided to head to the kitchen and grab some ice cream. You plop down in your favorite spot and watch whatever pops up on TV. You’re going to have one hell of a time when they get home. Might as well mope while you have a chance, you thought.

Changbin dreamed about you on the flight home. His dream was so vivid and he was so happy he was bursting at the seems with joy. He was on a beautiful beach and all the guys were there, Chan and Jisung were right by his side and he heard Chan tell him to relax. Jisung’s hand fell to Changbin’s shoulder for reassurance.

“You know this is the right thing, man.” Jisung said.

“You got this, mate.” Chan affirmed. Changbin nodded at both of them. Taking a deep breath of refreshing sea air. He turned to see you walking towards him. Changbin was not an outwardly emotional man, but when he saw you, his bride, walking towards him he felt tears stinging his eyes.

________________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed!

Stay healthy stay golden. I will catch you on the next episode.

♥️.

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

[niksixx]

Number 73

Requested: Anonymously 

Pairing: Axl Rose x Reader 

Description: “Hi it’s Tuesday so can I request a smut oneshot where reader is harsh to Axl cuz she thinks of him as a selfish womanizer, and he thinks she’s cold and pretentious so they’re basically enemies, but deep inside she’s unable to resist his hotness so when she’s with her friend she blurts our that she wants him to f*** her or sth, but actually axl accidentally overhears it and next day becomes her worst(best) day?” 

Warning: Smuuuut 

A/N: Reblog please !

*GIF is NOT mine, found on Google. Credit to the owner!* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“My God, have they come up for air yet?” Y/B/F asks, eyes bugging out of her head.

Without looking, you already know who Y/B/F is talking about. “Let me guess. Blonde. Skinny. Around 5’6, 5’7. Tits squeezed into a shirt that’s too tight.”

“Holy shit,” Duff grins. “Spot on.”

Rolling your eyes, you look over your shoulder, scoffing at how disgustingly accurate your prediction was. The blonde is leaned against the bar, arms wrapped loosely around Axl’s neck as their tongues clash in a heated kiss. Soon, he’d ditch her though, and find the next best thing. That’s just how Axl operated.

“He’s a pig,” you whisper, but Slash hears every word.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say someone is jealous.”

You scoff. “Please. I have respect for myself, you know.”

Just as you suspected, Blondie trickled back to her friends, and Axl was on the prowl. You watch as he sidles up next to a brunette this time, turning on his charm. Their tongues are down each other's throats less than a minute later.

“Man, he’s good,” Izzy pipes up for the first time that night, earning a laugh from his friends and a death stare from his fiance.

Well, at least Axl’s friends weren’t despicable, womanizing assholes. All were dating, engaged, or married. None of them ever felt the need to sleep around, even though they’ve had plenty of chances. But Axl? It sent him on some sort of power trip.

Swirling the straw in your rum and coke, you turn your eyes down at the drink, leaning a cheek on your palm. It’s a shame Axl’s personality was shitty. He was an attractive man who knew how to please a woman. Not that you’d know, but damn if you wouldn’t love to find out.

Twenty minutes later, a drunk Axl falls clumsily into the chair beside you, earning stifled laughs from his bandmates. You roll your eyes and scoot away from him, only to be stopped by his hand gripping the back of your chair.

“Where’re you going?” He smiles lazily at you.

Conveniently, you notice your empty glass and you stand. “Anywhere you’re not.”

Steven hollers loudly as Axl’s jaw immediately tenses up. Shooting him a smirk, you find yourself heading over to the bar, turning in your empty glass and ordering three tequila shots.

“Rough night?” The bartender asks as she places the shot glasses in front of you.

You groan. “You have no idea.”

The shot glass touches your lips but before you have the chance to taste the bitter liquid, a man pushes his way through the crowd, nearly knocking into you, before settling himself beside you at the bar. “I’ll take three of whatever she’s having,” Axl flauts a fifty dollar bill in his hand, sending a wink to the bartender before smirking down at you.

“Charming,” you say, downing the tequila. It burns, and you kick yourself for not ordering a few limes to go with it.

“I know, I know,” Axl gloats. “It’s one of my best traits.”

“Clearly you lack the capacity to understand sarcasm.”

Axl grabs his first glass, drinking the liquid with ease. “And clearly you lack the ability to be nice. What’s your problem, hm? You always have this stuck up, bitchy attitude. I promise you, sweetheart,” Axl’s face is dangerously close to yours, and you pray he can’t feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. “You’re not all that.”

“Oh, and you are?” On a normal day, you’d let Axl’s comments roll off your shoulders. The highlight of his day would be insulting you, teasing you, and irritating the fuck out of you. And somehow he always got to you before you could say anything back. This time, though, you’re determined to stand your ground and speak the fuck up.

“Of course I am. Take a good look at who I am, angel,” Axl holds out his arms as if he believes you’ll actually admire him. “I’m Axl fucking Rose for shit’s sake. Rock legend, millionaire, ladies man.”

“Actually,” You lean closer to him, finger rimming the shot glass. “You wanna know what I really think of you?”

“Enlighten me,” he says, teeth biting the corner of his bright pink lip. “Tell me everything I want to hear.”

“I think,” you whisper, body slightly pressing against his side. His eyes are dark, lustful, and they betray him. “That you’re a selfish, stuck up prick that never got any attention as a child, and that’s why you crave it now. You have commitment issues, which is why you’re a shag ‘em and leave ‘em type of guy. You’re a womanizing bastard and you know no woman would ever willingly choose to be with someone like you, and that is why your life revolves around sex. Sex is the only way women give you attention. And that,” your lips graze his ear. “Is truly fucking pathetic.”

Axl stares angrily as you down the second shot, staring back at him with such animosity burning in your eyes, he almost believes you truly hate him. But the hatred in your eyes is mixed with something else, and he can’t quite figure it out. As he replays your words over in his head, it hits him.

Jealousy.

Axl isn’t prepared for the next words that come out of his mouth, but he takes a shot of tequila anyway for courage. “And I think,” he creeps closer to your body, maneuvering around the tight crowd so your back is pressed against the bar, trapping you in his arms. “That you are so beyond jealous that I haven’t fucked you yet.”

Your eyes nearly roll out of your head as Axl laughs at your expression. “Excuse me?”

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Axl prodes, eyes flickering to your lips. For a moment it seems as if he’s going to kiss you. “If I said let’s go back to my house right now, what would you say?”

“I’d say fuck no.”

“Riiiight,” he taunts, inching closer to your face. “And you actually think I believe that?”

“You should,” You briefly turn in his arms to finish the third shot before turning back, chest heaving, thoughts racing, pussy throbbing. He’s dangerously close and you need to get out of there, and fast, before you act on your thoughts. “Because I would never fuck someone whose dick has been shoved in about twenty different girls.”

“More like seventy-two, but who’s keeping track?” Axl winks, backing up to set you free.

Stomach twisting, you shoot Axl the most disgusted look you could manage. “You’ve had sex with seventy-two women?”

“And counting,” He grins, eyes racking your body. “Wanna be number seventy-three?”

~

One too many tequila shots later, you’re stumbling down the street with Y/B/F right behind you. The liquor had hit when you least expected, and tequila mixed with anger was a deadly combination.

“Seventy-two women!” You shout, leaning on a nearby pole to regain your balance. “He’s fucked seventy-two women,” your chuckle is empty, “And he...and he asked me, me! If I wanted to be...be his number seventy-three.”

“Does that surprise you?” Y/B/F asks. “You said it yourself. He’s a pig.”

“I know and it’s even worse because I’d love nothing more than to be number seventy-three!” Axl hit the nail on the head when he called you out for being jealous. You weren’t just jealous. No, observing his hookups with random girls and hearing stories about them the next day was infuriating. You’d never even been a choice to him.

“You don’t mean that,” says Y/B/F, helping you off the pole. “You’re just a little too drunk.”

“No, Y/B/F, I’m serious.” The purse in your hand slaps against your thigh, free hand smacking your forehead. “I’ve wanted him for years, but I’ve never been good enough. I don’t want to date him or anything, I know he’s not really into that, but goddamn it can’t a woman get a little hate sex in her life? I hate him, he can’t stand me. It’s the perfect fuck.”

Y/B/F grabs your hand, rolling their eyes as they help you inside a cab. “Jesus, Y/N, quiet down before someone hears you.”

But it was too late for that, as just a few paces away Axl stood in the back alley of the bar, phone lifted to his ear, cigarette hanging from his mouth as it narrowed in a smirk. You wanted hate sex? Oh, he’d give just that.

~

As you sit on your couch, TV on low volume, book in your lap, you try to ignore the aches in your body. As you discovered this morning just by emptying your guts into the toilet, tequila was not your friend. This hangover was the worst one you’d had, and even though it was your fault you’d drank too much, you’d subconsciously blame Axl for making you so hot and bothered, you felt drowning yourself in liquor was the only way to handle it.  

There’s a knock on your front door and luckily you’d kept it unlocked. You had no intention of moving from the couch other than to go to the bathroom. “It’s open!”

Your eyes don’t leave the page in front of you, too engrossed in the scene playing out, until the all familiar voice has you slowly looking up from the book. “You look like shit.”

“Always the charmer, eh, Axl?” Snapping your book shut, you chuck it beside you, pulling the blanket to your chin. “What do you want?”

Your pupils dilate as Axl pulls his shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor. Wandering eyes run over his chest. He’s not like other men. He doesn’t have hard pectorals or the outline of six pack abs, and you like that about him. You also like that he’s standing in front of you shirtless, but you don’t have a guess as to why. “Two words. Hate sex.”

Your breath hitches as he moves toward you. Instinctively, you shoot off the couch. “I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, but you need to get out of here right now.”

“Cute shorts,” Axl gestures to the soft gray pajama bottoms that are two sizes too short, the curve of your ass peeking out, giving him a show. “And you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

You move around the couch, Axl watching you like his prey. His thumbs are hooked around the belt loops on his jeans as he shuffles his feet along the floor.

“I was drunk,” you admit, eyes flitting around the room, looking at anything other than the man in front of you.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts,” He says back, folding his arms across his chest. “I know you’re not a huge fan of me. I don’t particularly like you either. But what I do like is sex,” The bulge in his pants hardens, and you beg yourself not to look. “So, how about it, sweetheart?”

You hate the effect he has on you. He knows you want him, he knows he has total control over you now. But you can’t give into him. You won’t. “Get out.”

His demeanor falls briefly, as if maybe he’d read you wrong. “Are you serious?”

“I said get out, Axl.” Walking around the couch, you position yourself in front of him, lightly pushing his chest. “Now.”

He doesn’t budge. “You’re joking.”

“I said get out.”

His head tilts, but he backs up slowly. You follow him toward the door, heart thumping against your chest. Fucking hell, this was your chance! Why were you kicking him out?

“So last night was just a lie,” Axl responds, pursing his lips.

“No, Axl, it wasn’t a fucking lie,” Again, you shove his chest. “I want you. I really fucking want you. But for the six years we’ve known each other, you’ve never given me so much as a fucking wink. For some reason, I’ve never been good enough for you to fuck.”

“And that pisses you off, doesn’t it?” Axl taunts, shoulder leaning against the doorframe. “I knew you were jealous. And I’ve got to be honest, it looks hot on you.”

“Just go, Axl.”

“You don’t want me to go,” his voice is low, raspy, and if he doesn’t leave now, you may just pull him back in. “I know you don’t.”

“Axl, goddamn it--.”

His hand wraps around the back of your neck, pulling you into his body, lips molding against yours. His lips feel just as you imagined. Warm and soft.

He moves them against your mouth with such expertise it was easy to let him guide you. With his free hand he shuts the door behind him as you cling to his body, locking your arms behind his head.

His tongue explores your mouth, claiming you with each sweep of his tongue. He sucks your bottom lip and a moan escapes you. He kisses like an angel, but he’s anything but.

Axl’s hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, the curve of your ass. He whispers “jump” into your mouth and you do, legs locking around his waist, never breaking the kiss. Heat crackles between the two of you, and you’re overwhelmed with the need to feel his skin.

Axl walks the two of you back into the living room, gently lying you on the couch. His lips disconnect from yours and you groan in want, but his lips find their way to your neck and you relax.

“So needy,” he whispers against the base of your throat. His fingers play with the hem of your shirt. “This is in the way.” In a swift motion, Axl rids you of your shirt, running the tip of my tongue over each of your nipples. They perk, and he smirks before closing his lips around the bud, flicking his tongue and softly biting the peaks. Arching your back forces more of your breast in his mouth, and you hook a leg around his waist, bucking your hips upward. “I need you.”

“Be a good girl and wait,” He demands, licking and kissing a line down your belly. He stops at your shorts, kissing your navel once before slowly dragging the shorts down your legs. He kisses the top of your underwear line, lowering his head until his mouth hovers above your clothed center, gently kissing the fabric. Your hips thrust upward in a frenzy. “Touch me, please.”

He says nothing as he takes his time pulling down your underwear. It’s been months since you’d been intimate, and the shyness takes over. Your legs try to squeeze shut, but Axl pushes them back open again. “You’re not hiding from me. I’ll stare at your pussy all day if I want to.”

His tongue licks a stripe up your center before disappearing between your silky folds. Wetness gathers between your thighs and he laps at it, sending a shutter of pleasure throughout your body. He licks and licks, using the tip and flattening his tongue, but what sends you over the edge is his lips sucking your clit into his mouth.

Your toes are curling and your chest is heaving. You do your best to suck in heaps of air, but you can’t focus on breathing as his tongue swirls around your clit.

You want to watch him. Back resting against the couch pillow, you hold yourself up on your elbows just in time to see Axl spit on your pussy. His thumb spreads the saliva across your clit, flicking it rather quickly.

His middle finger slides into your hole, wetness coating the digit as it pumps in and out of your folds. Axl adds his ring finger next, using his free hand to spread you open more. “So tight, sweetheart. Gotta loosen you up a bit so you can take my cock.”

You moan at the vulgarness of his words. This what exactly how you’d pictured sex with Axl. The dirty talk. The fingering. The gentle licks on your clit. This is what you’d been fucking wait for.

Your head falls back as his tongue finds your pussy again, the sensation of his fingers and tongue making your head fall back. “Fuck, fuck, Axl.”

“Yes, baby, I’m gonna fuck you.”

Cold air hits your clit as Axl pulls back, hands finding his jeans and pulling them down his legs. He kicks them off to the side, eyes locking with yours as he fists himself through his boxers. You reach out for him but he slaps your hand away, sliding the boxers down his thighs. His cock springs to life, thankful to not be constricted any longer. He’s long and hard with a few veins on the underside, and you whimper at the sight of precum that dribbles down the head. “Sit up.”

At that point, you’ll do anything he says. Axl sits, hand stroking his dick as you crawl over him, positioning your pussy directly over his cock. You lower yourself a bit, clit brushing against the soft head, and even Axl moans this time. His hands grab your hips, and together you lower yourself down, stifling a cry as his dick forces itself inside your hole, stretching your walls.

Axl’s mouth falls open as you sink yourself lower onto his cock. His hands never leave your hips, but instead aids in the bouncing of your ass against his thighs as you maneuver yourself up and down, up and down. Your tits are perched perfectly in front of him and he licks his lips in delight as he captures a nipple, swirling his tongue in circles.

Your body explodes in pleasure, from the tongue on your breasts to the dick burying itself in your cunt. Hands on Axl’s chest, you balance yourself over top of him, slightly craning your head back to watch as his cock slides in and out of your slick pussy.

Axl’s hand grips your face, turning you back to face him. “This is what you wanted?” He grunts out, hips thrusting upward to meet your hips. “You wanted me to fuck you like a whore?”

Your toes curl. Your legs squeeze against his thighs. Your head falls forward against his, breath fanning over his face as his hand squeezes your jawline. This is all you wanted, and even if you had to wait six years for it, it was worth it.

“Come on, ride my cock.” He grunts harshly as your hips pound against his legs, riding his dick as if there were no tomorrow. Like your life depended on it.

Your pussy clenches around him, and that all too familiar bubble in the pit of your belly only grows as Axl continues his pounding into you. He thrusts at lightning speed, and you’re so caught off guard you reach for the back of the couch, holding on as he fucks the daylights out of you.

“Axl! Shit, shit,” His balls slap against your underside, arms wrapping around your middle to steady you against him. “I’m gonna--fuck I’m--coming!”

Your thighs shake violently as you come, juices spilling out of your pussy, dripping down your legs, and puddling on Axl’s thighs. His load shoots into you and he pulls your forward, nuzzling his face between your breasts, breathing hard. With every twitch of his cock, you moan a little louder.

You close your eyes, steadying your breath as you come down from your sex high. Axl licks his lips, eyes trained on your mouth, and you lean in to kiss him, but your lips never meet as he pulls back.

“This can’t happen again.”

The words stun you as he slides his cock out of you. He stands from the couch, pulling on his boxers and pants before pulling his shirt down over his head, leaving you to process his words. This can’t happen again. Why the hell not?

“Wait, what?” You shoot off the couch, flustered and completely naked. Axl’s eyes run up and down your body, and you can see it in his face, he wants you. But something is holding him back. “I just had the best fucking day of my life, and you tell me it’ll never happen again?”

He shrugs, finishing the button on his jeans. There’s something sad in his eyes, and your heart breaks. “I don’t fuck the same girl twice.”

He turns, and you chase after him. Axl just gets to the door before you grab his arm, forcing him to turn around and look at you. “So that’s fucking it? You’re just going to leave?”

Axl nods, biting the corner of his mouth. “One and done, sweetheart. That’s all I can offer you.”

“But,” you stutter, unable to control the tears pricking your eyes. “But I thought-.”

“That fucking you would be different?” He asks, swallowing nervously as the tears in your eyes break free. Damn it. He wanted to be gone before the waterworks started. “That I’d want to be with you? We’re enemies, Y/N. Our personalities clash. You’re a bitch and I’m...well...you were right. I’m a bastard that only wants sex. You were never an exception,” Axl blows out a breath and watches as your face falls dejectedly. “You were just number seventy-three.”

[sweetestlamb]

Stronger Part 3 (Unbreak my Heart)

Summary: Gang-tae finally gets a reality check.

Author's note: Slightly tipsy as I wrote this, life has been very busy but I have plans to write a naughty Search:WWW fic so I wanted to get this out first. The next chapters will be the climaxes and y'all can let me know if you want smut in this series, or if you like it nice and wholesome. 🙃🙃🙃🙃 But no worries the smut would come muchhhhh later.

Mang-tae lays limp on the night frosted ground, gleaming button eyes peering up at him in judgement. With a deep rooted sigh he bends over to retrieve the doll, pocketing it before turning from the empty spot she no longer resides.

The happiness that bubbled up at her unforeseen appearance has twisted and crystallized into a rancid pool of disappointment and melancholy at her just as sudden disappearance.

He doesn't understand.

Opening up had been difficult, the most challenging obstacle he'd faced in their.... predicament. She'd been poking and prodding for as long as he'd know her, enticing him to crawl out of his self imposed prison, until he broke. Unleashed all his pain and misery on her like torrential showers thundering from the heavens. Voicing hidden horrors and his not so hidden desires, he'd tried to subdue his feelings but as always she made him act out of character.

The thought of that mad woman harming her made his skin boil with heated anger, so much so that all he could do was kiss her back to life; his grim thoughts had painted morbid tales of her demise and seeing her there on the staircase, painfully gorgeous had been so heart shattering he almost wept.

But somehow that hadn't been enough. His secrets and his scars weren't enough for her, she'd seen the real him and taken his advice to get lost. She wasn't supposed to listen to him, she never had before.

"Geesh what was that about? She looked like a witch out here! Did you two have fight? Why didn't she try to kidnap you and take you home?" Jae-su's bewildered voice cracks through the thumping of his heart, weighty in his chest.

He fumbles to think of an answer. He's at a loss, maybe he was the one who wouldn't understand her for a hundred years.

"I... don't... It's nothing. We're fine. Let's go inside." His friend scoffs, condescending eyes calling him a liar but he ignores them, running away instead.

At least he still has Sang-tae.

"I can't. I'm busy." His brother carelessly rejects his offer to hang out and watch cartoons, stuffing pencils and a notepad into the satchel slung across his body. Fidgeting as he fixes his hair in the mirror, visibly excited about his events for the day. He tries not to be jealous that he isn't a part of those plans.

He fails.

"Where are you going? Can't I come?" He pleads, staring up at his older brother with wide beckoning eyes.

Sang-tae stares back nonplussed, "You're not as cute at the alley cat, that won't convince me. That isn't convincing at all Gang-tae."

With a groan he rolls on the bed roll, before clambering onto his feet. Pulling out his phone he sends Jae-su a text, Do you want to hang out? He freezes as his eyes unknowingly land on her messages underneath, tricks to get him back in the castle and teasing selfies that he had saved once he received them.

He'd composed many messages to her before his thumb destroyed them with systemic viciousness, leaving no letter untouched. There was still a minuscule part of him that envisioned her coming back of her own volition. She always came back, boomeranging back into his life every time he attempted to flick her out. It was a law of his universe.

Yet it had been days since their last interaction and he'd heard nothing from her, no calls or messages, simply radio silence. He was beginning to become worried.

The honk of a car snaps him from his thoughts as Sang-tae perks up at the alarming sound, happily flailing before running out the doors.

He follows blindly, stopping in the doorway gazing down at her familiar car, instinctively he grabs Sang-tae's arm hindering his movement and escape.

"Where are you going?" He asks stupidly as if he can't see what is so painfully obvious.

Sang-tae looks at him with a look that mirrors his own thoughts, "My bestie invited me to a book conference, I'm going as her illustrator. We're going as partners, it's too to make connections she said. I'll be gone all day."

He can't hear Sang-tae's excited spiel over the blood rushing to his face, she hadn't contacted him at all but clearly was still conversing with his brother. Why was she only upset with him? Annoyance and jealousy ebb in equal waves in his blood line.

"Hyung don't you think that's too much? I thought you weren't talking to her right now." He instigates, feeling petty about being the one left out.

"I was but I forgave her, sometimes best friends fight but she apologized so I forgave her. She's going to be a better best friend now."

Sang-tae speaks calmly and certainly, pulling away from his firm grip and skipping down the stairs before hopping into the car.

Finally he allows his eyes to land on the window, readily expecting her answering gaze, eager to lock eyes with her and get lost in time with her.

Her smile is blinding and tender, eyes soft crescents.

But they aren't on him, they are locked instead on Sang-tae. Cloying possessiveness curls around his control and without any acknowledgement of him, they're gone in smoke and the smell of burnt rubber.

He gets drunk, disgustingly so, sloshing the liquid on his sleeves as he loses his balance and almost pitches off the table.

He'd bitten the bullet and finally sent her a message, readying for her to call and for them to fight their way back into their... predicament.

Instead he'd gotten a taste of his own medicine, it was poignantly bitter. It hadn't even been read. He wasn't sure if that made it better or worse.

"I told her everything, things I never even told you! But she's ignoring me, why? Why would she do that?"

Jae-su's eyes are huge as he rambles on, snatching a shot of soju from his hand before he can slam it back, he whines making grabby hands.

"Why did you get so drunk? You said that you only wanted to have a few drinks." Jae-su sighs exasperated, falling back onto the table folding his arms behind his head.

"Jae-su, what did I do wrong? Why won't she answer my messages? I stopped running, I let her catch m--"

"Yah!" They both jump from the volume of the scream, Gang-tae almost falling to the ground in his shock.

Sang-in's rage filled face swims in his vision, intoxication stuttering his movement.

"You think you did her any favors? You think meeting you did her any good? Do you know what she was like after you left her that day? She cried everyday. You broke her. You made her come back to this wretched place, do you know what that castle means to her? You're a selfish prick. Did you even say sorry to her for everything you've done to her?" Sang-in's spit showers his face in a wet splash, a feeling of deja vu overwhelming him.

He blinks back, dazed.

Jae-su shakes himself from his trance, jumping to his defense, "What's your problem? Of course he apologized to her! What are you accusing my best friend of?" He points his finger into the manager's face as they slap and hit each other.

That day. His blood runs cold, remembering his cruel words, berating and belittling her all because he couldn't deal with his feelings for her. Couldn't be honest with his brother or himself.

One time event.

Her tears salty like the sea water that crashed at their feet.

Realization drops on him like a dead weight, severing his air flow.

Did you even apologize?

Did you even say sorry?

He racks his brain scouring his memory desperately, that conversation playing out in his mind like a movie, scene by scene.

Telling her about Sang-tae and his trauma, the effects that had on him and the way he was allowed to live life, inviting her to join this life, be with them.

And, I, need you.

All about him.

He hadn't asked her if she was okay after being targeted by a patient, her skin pale as he ascended the stairs to wrap her in a hug. Her voice was not a part of the conversation, he'd said let's talk but in all honesty he had been the only one to talk.

About his pain.

His suffering.

All about him.

Gosh.

"I'm an asshole." He whispers aloud finally, finally understanding.

Sang-in and Jae-su both pause at his soft declaration, hands tangled from their scuffle.

"You are. But somehow you got the bitch and the nice girl. You don't deserve either."

He has never felt smaller in his life.

Why are you mad?

Stop acting up.

Those had been his messages, the only messages he'd sent to her, nothing but shameful regret fills his veins now, he hadn't done nearly enough. Not by a long shot.

He'd woken up the next day with a killer hangover and a sour taste in his mouth, wanting the ground to swallow him up. He wasn't that lucky.

He'd called her, one, two, three, many times. Each time going to voice mail, testament to her avoiding him.

Mun-yeong. Please.

I need to talk to you.

He'd lost track of the amount of times he'd looked at his phone hopefully, only to be crestfallen when it wasn't her. If this was anything like she felt when he ignored his messages he would never do that again. That coupled with Sang-in's snarky comments and withering glares made him want to pull his hair out.

The castle looms over him as he hesitates at the gate, before pushing it open with a loud creak.

His knocks boom on the hollow wood of the door, pounding as hard as his heart. The castle is silent, he pounds once more.

"Mun-yeong! Ko Mun-Yeong, please open up! I need to talk to you." He hangs his head, hand sliding down the smooth wood.

The silence is deafening.

"Please, Mun-yeong. I'm.... sorry."

He falls to the steps, the strength disappearing from his bones.

"Get up. Stop making such a scene, this was always the outcome. Only I can take care of her."

He twists his head around, eyes too tired to form a true glare but the intent there.

"Where is she?" He demands, fury and shame emboldening him.

Sang-in scoffs at him, walking away after peering through the windows.

He feels his eyes prickle from his emotions overtaking him, life without her was like going from high definition to black and white, his life was lack luster and empty.

"Wait." He begs, tears caressing his cheeks, "Please, where is she? I have to make this right."

Sang-in pauses on the last step, hesitation evident in the sharp angle of his shoulders before he starts walking again, leaving him shattered on the ground.

Sang-in stops at his car, steel eyes as he looks at him with pity, "Maybe it's your turn to start chasing."

The truth can be humbling.

[lailyn]

The Great Anzac Bake-Off

"Is that all you're having?" Stephen frowned. "It doesn't look very filling."

"It is a biscuit made of oats and baked in heavy syrup and butter. I assure you, it is more filling than your three-egg quinoa omelette," Loki mumbled as he nibbled on his sweet treat at an agonisingly slow pace. "It was certainly enough to fill the bellies of tens and thousands of soldiers back in the first World War. How kind of Darryl to remind me."

Stephen went quiet.

"I worry about you sometimes," he confessed.

"Why in the Nine would you?"

“Worry is too strong a word…” Stephen muttered. “Wonder, maybe.” 

He watched Loki listlessly stir the cold milk with the cookie clockwise, then, anticlockwise several times. 

"I wonder where you are," Stephen finally mumbled to himself.

"I had no idea your eyesight was so bad," Loki sniffed. "I am right here." 

"No, I mean...temporally speaking," Stephen said. "Your headspace doesn't sound like it's in the 21st century right now."

"Maybe it isn't."

Loki's sullen mood was a far cry from the ray of sunshine that had waltzed in through the Sanctum's front door that morning. Stephen wondered if he had upset Loki when he refused to partake in the gift of baked goods Loki had brought with him from New Asgard.

"It was my turn to cook for our breakfast date this week," Stephen reminded.

Loki shrugged and said nothing. 

At the sight of Loki's crestfallen face, Stephen's resolve faltered. He was not a fan of sweets but... 

"I'll have some later, okay?" Stephen placated. "They look sweet but I have braved far worse."

"Are we talking about the famine soup again?" Loki asked, stone-faced. "I was only paying tribute to my dear friend Alexis.” 

At the look of confusion on Stephen’s face, he queried incredulously, “Alexis Soyer? You do not know of him?”

“Should I?” Stephen returned coolly. 

“He was the unsung hero of the hungry and the poor. His soup kitchen fed thousands of starving Irish for free during the Great Irish Famine."

The facade cracked, and an embarrassed flush coloured Stephen’s cheeks. 

"No, I get it. I just…" he searched for the right words to say but he only ended up hesitating for far too long. "I guess I'm trying to figure out where I fit in."

"You need to stop being jealous of every dead friend I once had, Stephen."

Stephen had to center himself and think. Loki's thought process was difficult enough to follow on a normal day. A nostalgic Loki's was next to impossible, but Loki only ever said Stephen's name in that tone whenever he felt personally affronted.

"That is not what I meant at all," Stephen said apologetically 

Loki crossed his arms over his chest. "Then what did you mean?" 

"There are times when I'm talking to you and it feels like I'm talking to a different you. A you from another time." 

"Is that concerning?" Loki wondered aloud. The minimal shrug he gave a split-second later belied the deep frown on his face. "For you, maybe."

Stephen had learnt from experience that the quickest, most effective (if not the least painful) method to break down Loki’s walls was by appealing to his inherent sentimentality...and the way to do it was by being very honest.

Stephen mustered the courage to raise his head and look Loki right in the eye. “Yes, it is very concerning. I don’t want to lose you, Loki.”

The last of the cookie slipped from between Loki’s fingers and plopped into the milk. 

“...That’s utterly ridiculous,” Loki said unconvincingly after a while. He fumbled with a teaspoon to dig the biscuit out but the harder he tried, the more it dissolved in the milk.

He gave up and threw the spoon across the table, inadvertently splashing droplets of milk everywhere and splattering Stephen’s arm in the process. 

Without thinking, Loki reached out and irately wiped the back of Stephen’s hand with the sleeve of his tunic. “Why would you say such things?” 

Stephen’s unhappy countenance was damning in its silence. 

“Say something,” Loki forced through crumbling layers of pride and gritted teeth. 

Stephen’s gaze shifted, looking anywhere but the eyes peering anxiously at him.

“I wonder of the stories you would tell when I’m gone. I wonder if you would think of me at all.”

Loki heaved a longanimous sigh.

“Oh, Doctor." He gave the back of the now-clean hand an awkward pat. "It is only a biscuit.”

"Is it?" Stephen asked sadly. 

Loki studied the thin line of Stephen's lips, and how the blue irises had darkened to a slate gray under eyes more hooded than usual. 

“Is it really that bad?” Loki asked softly. "My sharing the sweetness of the past with you?”

"Call me selfish, but I'd rather we work on our own story. For the future."

That caught Loki by surprise. "Do you foresee one with me?" 

The clock on the wall mocked Loki with every ticking of the second hand.

With a sneer as bitter as his smile, he scoffed, "Of course. Your lips are sealed. I didn't know what I was expecting."

"Everything I have ever said to you is the truth," Stephen said. 

"A curated truth," Loki spat. "A lie would be much kinder."

"I love you," Stephen said sharply. "I didn't lie about that."

"I cannot think of the future when I am with you, Strange," Loki snapped. "Not with you knowing what you know."

"Then think of the present," Stephen pleaded. He reached for Loki's hand. "Be in the present.”

“We’re all relics in the end," Loki whispered.

"Until then, be with me," Stephen implored fiercely. "If you won't be mine, just be in the present. With me.”

"I am not lamenting a secret lover who fought and died in the war, Strange," Loki said. 

Then who was Darryl? Stephen sorely longed to ask, but Loki beat him to the punch.

"Darryl was Thor's roommate when he was moonlighting in Australia some years ago. I stole these from the box of goodies he must have sent my Brother for Anzac Day."

"Anzac Day?"

"Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. To commemorate their fallen in the Gallipoli Campaign in World War I and in all the allied campaigns thereafter, their countrymen bake biscuits."

"Surely that is not all they do."

"It is no different than the libation we used to drink to honor Odin's chosen heroes on the Feast of the Einherjar," Loki said, his eyes taking on a thousand-yard stare. "It is a tradition that has endured the test of time."

With that last revelation, Loki visibly shrank in his seat; he looked small and young and yet every one of his thousand-odd years.

"The recipe has remained unchanged for over a hundred years," Loki mumbled. "I brought some for I had wished to share them with you."

The sweetness of the past, Loki had said. 

And Stephen had ruined it all in a fit of petty jealousy.

He grabbed the last biscuit out of the plastic box and took a bite. For an oat biscuit, it was very crunchy.

"This isn't a biscuit," he mumbled through a mouthful of crumbs. "It's a cookie."

Loki watched Stephen chew with wary eyes still steeped in hurt. 

"It's protected under food naming regulations. Calling it a cookie could earn you a heavy fine."

"Seriously?" 

"Do you like it?"

"It's...sweet." Stephen drilled the tip of his tongue into one of his back molars. "It might have just given me a cavity."

Loki laughed a soft, tinkling chuckle that momentarily returned the light to his eyes. But to Stephen's great dismay, the mirth did not last for long. 

"You never did ask me properly."

"I could ask it again if I knew which question you're alluding to."

Loki tilted his head curiously. "How can I be yours if you never asked me?"

Stephen licked his lips. For some reason they had gone dry all of a sudden. "Guess I didn't want to come across as a possessive asshole."

"We're fighting over a biscuit you thought I was only eating because I was mourning a dead lover who did not even exist," Loki said flatly. 

"Touché." Stephen cleared his throat. "Umm. Are you mine?"

Loki only rolled his eyes. "That's very bold of you."

"Are you?" Stephen asked, painfully aware of how desperate he sounded to his own ears.

"You are putting the onus on me to answer your very one-sided question." Loki shook his head with a disappointed sigh and held out his hand. "Will you give me the rest of that? I don't think you deserve it after all."

"No." Stephen palmed the half-eaten cookie possessively into a fist. What was he doing wrong?

He stared at the outstretched hand in front of him and pondered Loki's request. 

Of course.

Stephen closed the palm of his other hand over the long, white fingers. "Loki Odinson…"

Loki stared at him in stunned silence. 

At that moment in time, Stephen knew there was absolutely nothing he would not do to dispel the sheer terror from Loki's suddenly red-rimmed eyes.

"Will you give me the honour of calling you mine for the rest of my life?"

The God of Mischief's face had gone almost as white as the curdling milk in front of him.

"Loki? Are you alri - "

Before Stephen could finish, Loki hurled himself across the table and a flurry of arms wrapped themselves tightly around him. 

"I will." Loki showered Stephen with kisses on his lips and all over his face, "I will, I will, I will!"

Stephen laughed giddily and he returned Loki's kisses with as much, if not more fervor, every single one of them. 

Once they realised they still needed to breathe, they parted reluctantly.

Stephen fingered the hollow of his now-fiancé's cheek. “But the famine soup...really isn’t that nutritious, you know.”

“It’s got bits of meat in it,” Loki argued.

“Which you dug out and hid in your napkin when you thought I wasn't looking,” Stephen chastised lightly. “Then the soup becomes nothing but sugar and flour.”

Loki happily wrapped his arms around Stephen's neck once more. "Will you help me eat it from now on? I can't digest cheap cuts very well and I'd hate to waste perfectly good food."

"For you, babe..." Stephen pulled Loki's face toward him for another kiss, "There's nothing I won't do."

It could be the syrup or it could be true love, but it tasted sweet as hell; now that Stephen could partake in it to his heart's content, he knew he was the most blessed man in the universe.

"I love you, Loki."

"And I, you, Doctor."

Oh, he was blessed alright.