#only now I started to understand for a bit why I do like characters like Walter or Smiling Jack
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trashy-reaper · 2 days ago
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Hello!! Just saw ur post so I decided to send an request (bc I'm bored)
And for the requested can u do forsaken survivors x reader thats like reisen from touhou project
And if u don't know who is reisen u should search it up btw
And thats all and don't rush writing on that just take ur time writing and if don't want to write it thats ok ☁️☁️
Hello hello, I hope I got Reisens personality and such well, did my best. I found out there's 2 characters called that apparently? But I did the one who showed up first, feel free to request again if it was the other one. Thanks for the request!!
Characters may be OOC as I am kinda new to the Forsaken fandom + this would be my first time writting for it but I hope I do them justice! If I get any info wrong, typos/mistakes in writing ect, correct me!! I don't mind :) (Just be kind as I probably didn't know </3)
(Written with romantic in mind but this can be read as either platonic or romantic)
Not Proof Read
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Noob
They were a bit curious about you when you first showed up. Their attention was quick to float to your ears. Though they wouldn't dare ask to pet them. They figured it would probably be well...not ideal. To be honest, they were a bit shy to talk to you, not that you were scary or even that they fell in love at first sight, they just aren't used to meeting new people after enduring the Spectres "Game" for so long. He feels like they lost their ability to communicate with more people outside of the other survivors.
Your first true "meeting" may be the first round you started in, the abilities you seemed to have were more supportive. Being able to heal them and stunning the enemy. It was all very helpful and they experienced it first hand when you were quick to their rescue, healing them before stunning the killer to let them get away. Despite your short time here you were able to get the hand of your abilities.
They don't mind your acting differently, I feel they'd catch on it's usually based on what's happening. They'd ask once or twice about how you truly act underneath everything but is completely understanding if you don't want to. They want you to be comfortable as he knows the circumstances right now are...less than ideal. They're patient with you, especially when they finds out you don't easily get along with humans as you came from somewhere else. They'll give you time though, they try to get you to be more comfortable as who knows how long it'll take before you can escape?
Guest 1337
A bit on edge, not that he thinks you're a killer, there's a reason why the Spectre put you with them after all, but you don't seem to get along with most of the survivors, not only that but how you act seems different sometimes, he does notice it'll change depending on the situation and/or who you're talking too but he wants to know the true you. He won't pry if you don't want him too but he'll keep an eye on you just encase.
Your abilities in rounds is incredibly useful, if or when the two of you ever team up to help another survivor both of your stuns help them get away, and being able to heal him and others is always a plus. As time goes on and you slowly seem to get more and more along with others, the more rounds the two of you spend with each other the more he lowers his guard around you. The less on edge he is with you.
He wants to build trust with all the survivors, and as cheesy as it may be, if they ever want to escape, teamwork will be their best option which is why he was a bit cautious when he noticed your initial attitude to the others and how differently you acted, it seemed as though you didn't trust them yet either, but with how long you've been here he's figured that's changed.
Chance
Didn't meet you until the start of the new round, he'd racked up a high stack weakness and was sure he was a goner, the killer hot on his trail until you showed up quickly stunning the enemy. Grabbing his hand and running off before the stun cooldown was over. You had brought him over to Elliot and with 2 healers now on his side he was able to gain back the HP he had lost.
He finds you quite amazing, tries chatting with you outside of rounds, asking about you. He did notice your hesitation which he later found out was because you weren't from Robloxia. That didn't stop him from trying to talk to you, you were stuck with them after all. Besides, seeing you help them and other survivors in rounds? You're not a bad person, you just need time.
If or when you two become closer friends they promise you that if or when you escape he'll take you to his favourite places. If this was your first time on Earth, then that's not a good impression. He'll show you how it's really like if you'd let him.
Two Time
They're so excited to meet you, it's been awhile since they had a new survivor with them. They're quick to try and tell you about the Spawn but can't continue as the round starts. They'll make sure to inform you when you're out.
You two make a good team they reckon, your stuns allow them to preform back stabs better. As long as they stick by your side they'll be able to land each one and they can't help but thank you each time. Expect them to follow you around if they know a killer is near, it'll benefit the both of you they promise!!
They don't mind how you seem to switch up how you act, they can quickly see it's just you adapting to what's happening and honestly? They kind admire that, plus you're listening to them whenever they ramble. Whether or not if it's even about the Spawn so you're good in their books for now. They'll be honoured if you showed your true colours to them.
007n7
"Not another one..." was all he thought when you came into the cabin, he's not annoyed by your presence, far from it. He almost feels calmer when you're around but his annoyance is directed at the very thing making them do these games. There didn't need to be another survivor, there wasn't a need to bring someone into this damn hell again. He pushes that aside and helps you settle in the best he can.
He does his best to explain everything to you, and he isn't fazed by how you act, he's patient with you as you learn to be more comfortable around them. He knows it's hard to settle in and he'd hate if the other survivors disliked you in anyway, he truly hopes what he does is helping you.
Before rounds, he lets you know that one of his kids is a killer. Calmly explaining why, he figured the more you knew about the killers the better, perhaps you can help plan strategies so no more deaths happen. If the killer is C00lkid he'll try to draw his attention away from you if you're on low health. He'll be in danger sure but it'll be better to have healers live, plus he has get a ways.
Elliot
Oh he could cry tears of joy. Finally another healer. He didn't need to be the only one to hear the barks of others as they run low on HP and scrambles to find them. Another healer also means you'll be able to heal each other if neither of you can find a medkit or one of Buildermans machines. He works with you during rounds, as soon as he sees you loose health he's quick to throw you a pizza if he can.
Outside of rounds though he's still kind but finding out you dislike humans due to not being from Earth he decides to back off a bit. He'd rather not make you feel uncomfortable, especially since he may be relying on you for heals. He does not want a bad relationship with you and you not healing him. Not that you would probably but he's just making sure.
If you help out in the kitchen when he cooks food for the other survivors in-between rounds he'll be grateful, you'll be one of the people he trusts the most even if it takes you a bit longer to do the same. He'll never pry when he notices how differently you act depending on what happens, unless it seems to be negatively affecting other people.
Taph
He shows you their traps first, yes quite the introduction to someone but he doesn't want you to be surprised when he uses them or if you see it. He writes on paper and hands it over unsure if you really knew sign but this would be the best way. He explains what his things can do and apologies for the loud sounds his bombs will create. Sure the blast somehow doesn't affect the other survivors, but you have big ears!! You'll hear the explosion better than anyone if you're near (unless your the killer setting it off but it'll still be loud!), he doesn't want to hurt your ears but he can't help the sound of the bombs.
If you're willing he's happy to teach you sign so the two of you can communicate better, probably the quickest to notice how well you adapt how you act depending on the situation and it can help. You were able to calm down Noob once when it was just yourself and him at low HP when in the previous round you were actively looking for Elliot so he could heal you. He does recommend to let down any walls you have with them when you're ready. You're not alone, you're in this together.
Builderman
I feel like he knows who you are already, or at the very least knows you're not from Robloxia. Likely because of well...of his position, similar to Taph he tells you how his abilities work alongside others. He doesn't want you to go head in and be confused by everything you're doing and what others are doing. He even gives you tips on how to survive. Pick up bloxy colas, medkits. The killers have a theme when they're near so keep an ear out but he figured you'll probably won't have a problem with that being a rabbit hyrbid.
He's so thankful when you stun a killer as he's putting up another machine, he can't stop himself once he starts building leaving him vulnerable to attacks so having you save him and multiple occasions makes him smile. He doesn't care for how quickly you adapt how you act depending, not that he isn't aware or things like that but he isn't going to question it. That's how you are after all.
Shedlesky
He's happy to have another one honestly, not in the sense that he enjoys the games he's playing (plus one of the killers has a personal vendetta against him so...) but god has he been deprived of all other human interaction...well okay you said you weren't a human (which he did know, similar reason to Builderman) and you were a moon rabbit of sorts but honestly? You're able to have a conversation with him right? It's a new face he's content with that.
Has once tried to get you, Guest 1337 and Two Time to all well...bully the killer with constant stuns, it worked the first few times (Mainly as the each round had a different killer) but they eventually caught on. It was fun while it lasted. If you apologise for seeming like you dislike them he'll understand, he found out you weren't even from their planet so it makes sense to him, he figured it would be hard to fully adapt to them anyways AND their situation.
Dusekkar
He calls out how you act towards them and how quickly you adapt in situations as soon as he can. Okay he doesn't call it out but he's quick to realise and question it in private. Not that it was a bad thing, many people change how they act depending on their friends and what's happening, plus you weren't from here. He understands but he still wants a small conversation about it. He doesn't stop you if you continue acting that way but subtly recommend that they mean no harm and outside of rounds you can act like yourself. No one will judge, and if someone does? Well he'll scold them don't worry.
Just like Builderman and Shedlesky he knew rather quickly you weren't from Robloxia but he doesn't care, though it does make him think about how willing the Spectre is to take people not even from their planets. Could they take others from different universes too? What fun do they got out of this. He doesn't let the thoughts fester too much, focusing on making sure you're settling in well.
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I hope this was okay </3 Thank you again for the request!!
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ashton-sano · 3 days ago
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“It’s my right to be hellish, I still get Jealous~”
Now Playing🎼♬ ♪ ♫:
Blue lock characters in: Being Jealous pt. 2
A/n: No warnings, just men that love their partners in weird ways
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Characters Included: Rin Itoshi, Ryusei Shidou, Yo Hiori, Kenya Yukimiya, Sae Itoshi
Rin
Rin is weird with jealousy. He’s not much different from his usual, so it’s hard to catch him initially.
You did always try and engage him, but Rin is a moody little fuck so you end up getting denied all the time. It’s like he enjoys it when you look dejected over his refusal
At least, that’s how Isagi is hearing it when you’re whining about it, nodding patiently as you're insisting Rin must hate you with how much he avoids spending time with you
Isagi is a kind soul (off the field), so he’s sweet enough to soothe your insecurities. He’s aware Rin isn’t always palatable, but one would like to think he’s not entirely hopeless
He smiles a bit, rubbing your back and cracking light jokes to keep your mood high
Rin was furious at the sight alone, why the hell were you letting that bastard Isagi touch you? Making you laugh? What was so damn funny? That dork definitely couldn’t be.
He had never been the sweet type, he knew that, everyone did. But did that really mean you’d go seeking that asshole's attention?
He has too much pride to march over there and say something since it'd be like admitting he’s jealous. Which he WASN'T to be clear, he only dislikes how close Isagi is, that’s all
On the way home, he’ll make passive-aggressive comments and scoff when you mention anything with Isagi’s name in it. Something about the way you sound, so happy to talk about something that wasn’t him, ticked him off beyond words
So now he’s resorted to weird random acts of affection so to speak. He leaves his clothes around but doesn’t elaborate why, he takes you out regularly and swears it’s just to make you less whiny
There’s just an itch that’s scratched when he has your focus entirely, one that overshadows his aloof demeanor. He needs your full attention, who cares what that looks like to lukewarm idiots like Isagi?
“No! This isn’t about Isagi around you, just come lay with me, idiot, before I change my mind…”
Shidou
Don’t get me started with this clown, he’s insufferable regularly, so it’s amped up x100 when he's jealous
He’s shameless as is, touching and grabbing with fervor when you’re in proximity. Don’t let his hands wander, you’ll be there a while that’s for sure
In behavior, he won’t differ much, considering he’s a whole lot of everything already; he just makes sure whoever it is understands who you’re with. He did try to fight them initially, but you had to intervene before Shidou beat that poor soul
He’s not stupid; he definitely knows what flirting looks like. Mainly because he’s incessantly doing it. So when he sees you entertaining it, he gets all excited.
“You don’t need ‘im baby~ If you wanted attention, m' right here y'know.”
It wasn’t necessary, so to speak, for him to tackle the guy to the ground or repeatedly stomp his face in, but the competition got him too pumped to care. This boring chump isn’t any match for him, this is proof, and if that’s the case, why make time for anyone else, huh?
His logic is that if they cant beat him in a fight, they're not worth your time, friend or otherwise and considering how serious he is about it, you end up distancing your friends for their sake
He’s loud about it outwardly, but he does kind of (and I really mean kind of) worry if that annoys or puts you off, to himself, anyway. He knows how he acts is wild, but what if you hate it more than you say? To keep those annoying thoughts at bay, he keeps you in sight all the time and always touches you (yes, even more than usual), no excuses needed. He's just holdin’ onto what's his, nothing weird about that. Insecurity was a waste of time. If you thought he was annoying, he’d just force those thoughts away; that's it. Thinking too much about it would make his brain hurt, so he left it up to actions.
“I wouldn’t mind you making it up to me with a little fun… hey! I was gonna say cuddles, what were you thinking, huh?”
Hiori (It's really weird writing him, can't tell if I want to indulge his sadistic traits or not twt.)
-I don't want to say he's all that possessive and hovering, he hates when people do that to him so you guys can go long with space. He's almost like Nagi in the way that he won't make much if any fuss if your attention is elsewhere, then again it's more because he can get wrapped up in his things
-Don't get it wrong, he likes spending time with you but your company is your business so he wont judge, even if one or two of them crowd you a bit too much for his taste.
-I can only see him getting annoyed if the company in question is too touchy, it's weird to him. He can't remember the last time any of his friends were that crowding and bothersome, is that really necessary? 
-Since when are hugs that long just a friend thing? Yeah, that needs to stop
“Ahem, I think it’s ‘bout time fer’ your friend to go right? It’s just late, they’ll miss the last train.”
-He wasn't wrong, it was in fact late, late enough for you cut the hangout right then, saying your goodbyes 
-You didn't see the glare Hiori leveled that friend of yours with, almost daring him to hug you again while he’s still there
-He placed his attention on you, bringing you into a hug for a moment and catching your friend’s scent right on your shirt collar. Close, that's too close to your neck and that little prick knew that well enough. Must so many people be this unpleasant in their own ways? 
-He didn't verbalize his displeasure, he understood that this wasn't your fault nor were you knowingly encouraging this behavior. He didn't need reassurance of your love, if you didn't love him then you’d have left by now, logically speaking anyway. 
-He’s a lot happier now that they left, so dwelling on that annoyance of a friend wasn't worth it. The hug was going on now for a few moments longer than what you’re used to with him and his overwhelming height wasn't helpful, he was kinda pressing his weight on you so you tapped him to ease up
“Sorry, got caught up there…”
-You never question Hiori’s unorthodox behavior patterns, he's an oddball so it comes with the territory. He enjoyed his time alone, you respect that cause god knows you love your quiet time in spades. He wasn't a big talker, so most of your days together were just being in proximity of each other, sometimes you'd play the same game silently or take extended naps. 
-You were one of the only people he liked around, he’d actually hate it more if you distanced yourself from him. You make him comfortable even with his weirdly specific requests
-Maybe that's why he started giving you hugs more often, each one lasting a little longer than usual and why he always finds at least one more thing to talk to you about, he holds his attention to you and just you. He didn't like how close some of your friends were, he had a feeling his distance with you was to blame
-You matter a lot to him, so awkward small talk and cuddling won't be the end of his world, even if he's not used to them. He just knew you meant more than a bit of discomfort so he’ll reach out, even when he's nervous to
“Hm, that new show ya’ been watchin’…maybe you can tell me ‘bout it?”
Yukimiya *Again, another interesting one to write for. I shall cope* 
He is definitely an all-around good and secure guy, so I don’t see him getting jealous much. 
Like Hiori, he’s confident in your relationship with him and trusts your character. 
Don’t get it twisted, he isn’t perfect. So he can’t let it go when you get flirted on so openly in front of him, almost like a slap in his face
He’s laughing as he witnesses it but his face was in fact not amused. There wasn’t anything he hated quite like when people purposely overlook him (pun intended…well I’m not sure if that’s technically a pun…oh my god just laugh at his bad eyesight 😑)
He has to bury a lot down before clearing his throat, jumping into the conversation with practiced ease, offering you a warm smile
When he talks, it’s almost like he’s ignoring your company, petty but he doesn’t care. He makes a point to exclude the topic from the stranger, perhaps bringing up a date he wished to go on
His face won’t immediately give it away, it’s when you finally excuse yourself from the person that the small sigh of relief leaves him. You’re tempted to ask but he plays it off so well, you simply leave it alone
It’s only when you get home that he admits his feelings. Sheepishly explaining how irritated he was upon seeing someone that close to you, especially one he didn’t know
You laugh, pulling him into a hug. It doesn’t take much to assure him otherwise. Especially when you reveal you don’t even know who that was
His hugs are warm, always but just then, his smile was warmer. He pats your head and allows his grin to reach his eyes this time, expressing his happiness 
He simply makes a mental note to stand around you more often, clearly some people don’t get the hint that you’re not available, how rude
“I’m happy to hear that, Dove. Perhaps a dessert date is in order?… Heh, I thought you’d like that.”
I gotta get in the groove for his character, this one was a bit shorter than the others, forgive me 🙏
Sae 
Do I even need to explain how this guy handles jealousy? Or just feelings period?
Similar to Rin in the stewing department. He refuses to openly say it even when it’s obvious 
Early into your relationship, however, I don’t think he’d be much jealous or fussy about others speaking to you. What? Was he supposed to cage you from your friends?
For this though, let’s assume you two have been together for upwards of a year or two. He grows more comfortable with you, that’s when you start to pick up that Sae is never just “not jealous” he just wouldn’t say anything before
To be fair, he’s hid it well for a long time. Granted, it’s only because it takes time to pick up his habits. He’s not as aloof as he’d like to be when you’ve gotten so close to him
You were an integral part of his life by now, he can’t hide as good. With that in mind, you see that when he sees your attention elsewhere when he wants it, he won’t say it. He’ll just mock the person when it’s just you two
Sometimes it’s a sly comment, other times just straight up insulting, he’s mean when it comes to people that take your time from him 
Now to see him take action, you gotta be married to this guy or something. That’ll really get him to physically step in when he wants to speak to you
No words, he’ll just walk over, shove his ring in the person's face, pick you up, and walk off. You have to laugh all the way to his car, sometimes even after you two get home. He’s needier than you’d think
God forbid you deal with reporters, or speak in interviews. Why does the media need to see your amazing face? Hear your voice? His love life is not their business, they need to go away
“Ahem, excuse me. We’re talking about my soccer career. My spouse isn’t your friend, don’t utter their name so casually.”
Another kinda short one, are we liking the married! Sae agenda? It’s kinda fun to write about >3<
-> Property of ©ashton-sano; Don't post my content on any other platform without credit; much love^^
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itadooori · 1 day ago
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my slightly cohesive squid game s3 thoughts (SPOILERS)
obligatory disclaimer that i am NOT trying to tell anyone that they're stupid or illiterate if they don't agree with this. you're more than entitled to your own feelings about s3, these just happen to be mine. i'm not looking to fight with anyone, i just thought i'd share some things that may help someone come to peace with season three a little more. buckle up folks this is a YAPFEST
To preface this, I want to say that whenever I interact with a series and it makes a decision I don't like and/or don't understand, I try my hardest to figure out why it's there. This is essentially what this post is: me figuring out why the things that happened in squid game s3 happened. Some of the things still bother me despite the reasons I've seen, and some things I've made a bit of peace with.
Over the weekend I've been formulating my thoughts about s3 and the finale. I also read some interviews explaining certain choices, as well as posts from people who liked the ending/the season and people who disliked the ending/the season. I wanted to give myself a bit of time to post about this with a clearer head, and also wanted to try to understand the message HDH was trying to send.
I've given myself some time to process Gi-hun's death, and I think I'm actually okay with it? I've always kept his death as a real possibility in mind, so the fact he died didn't shock me, but did devastate me as he is my favorite character. I honestly loved the journey that Gi-hun's character went through this season as a whole, it was so full of grief and despair and was extremely heart-wrenching.
Some posts that helped ease my mind a bit about Gi-hun's choice (as well as some of the finale as a whole) are this and this.
(I also found this post to be interesting and it opened my mind up to some deeper thinking, so I'd give it a look if you're interested!)
Now. I want to admit: I am not as unhappy with the ending as much as I initially was. After reading some of HDH's words and other peoples' analysis on the ending, I'm starting to understand the angle it's going for, and I do appreciate it.
Obviously, my critiques haven't vanished -- I have my fair share of things I'm not happy about. I wish that In-ho had a bit more screen-time. I heavily dislike how Jun-ho's character was handled in s3. I also think that the pacing was off in places, notably in the latter half of the season. And of course, I do wish that the reveal scene had a bit More to it.
Also I just dislike the idea of an American spinoff so I was bound to dislike that last scene LMAO but that seems more like Netflix meddling than anything HDH wanted.
HOWEVER, there were also several things this season that did hit me very hard, and that I hold close to my heart. Many, many people have brought up (and rightfully criticized) the things I mentioned above, and I feel that elaborating on those points would be regurgitating what's already out there. So I'll spend some time talking about the things I DID enjoy in s3:
• IDK if this is a hot take or not, but I really loved the Dae-ho and Gi-hun stuff. It was so fucking dark and the furthest we've ever seen Gi-hun fall and I enjoyed every second of it. I don't think Gi-hun was simply mad at Dae-ho about the ammo; that was only part of it. Dae-ho I think on a narrative level served as Gi-hun's internal monologue towards himself, and I think this is backed up by the fact Seon-nyeo tells him that killing Dae-ho will clear his bad karma. And in that altered state of mind, induced by a psychotic break, he believed that. Obviously, when he killed Dae-ho that caused some sort of Realization, which is why he switches from "it's your fault" to "it's my fault" as he attempts suicide again. Also, on the topic of Dae-ho, if you're upset about the military reveal, I'd recommend reading this post because Netflix fucked up the subtitles and I think the more accurate translation falls more in line with his character.
• As a trans person, I honestly liked how Hyun-ju's death was handled. Her death did not strike me as uniquely gore-y or horrible, nor was it tied to her transness. It was tied to her core traits of kindness and commitment to other people. Her death, imo, continued to humanize her. I hope that her existence helped open up some peoples' minds.
• I loved the callbacks to Sae-byeok. First, the more subtle one of Gi-hun telling Geum-ja that he's "not that kind of person" just hit me like a TRAIN. I teared up. And then when Gi-hun had an outright flashback to Sae-byeok when he once again thought about killing someone in their sleep, I actually bawled.
• The entire Gi-hun/In-ho flashback sequence with the dagger. I have no notes. That was beautifully done and one of the best scenes in the entire season imo.
• MIN-SU'S ENTIRE JOURNEY IN S3 WAS REALLY COMPELLING TO ME?? I already really liked him before, but I was absolutely enamored by what they did with him. The hallucinations were genuinely terrifying, and him finally taking Se-mi's hand in death actually made me tear up. I love that lil guy. He straight up went thru every circle of hell.
• Geum-ja's speech to Gi-hun was very very touching. Both of these characters just went through the worst day Ever and yet she still shows him kindness and a reason to keep going. I love all the subtle expressions LJJ displays in this scene too.
• I liked that No-eul got a good ending. She deserved it. I'm glad that she gets to reunite with her daughter, a reflection of something Gi-hun didn't get to do.
• The tragedy between Geum-ja and Yong-sik....goddddddddd I wept.
• Seeing Gi-hun carrying around Jun-hee's baby was like cocomelon to me. The way he smiled at her had me sooo weak I love him so much.
• Woo-seok's little side plot was fun and I liked seeing him get some spotlight.
• Jun-ho not wanting to become a cop again LMFAO I loved that the story still sticks to its dislike of cops and the justice system.
• Of course, as always, the cast's acting was absolutely phenomenal. Even for scenes I don't like, the actors did the best that they could and I think they deserve recognition for that.
There are some more things I could list, but this post is getting long enough lmfaoo
Now, I believe that my feelings on season three are more complex than they were initially. I feel a little isolated from the majority of the fandom right now because while I have my issues, I don't Hate it. Far from it, honestly. It feels more like a "i enjoy many things about this, and i understand and appreciate the message being sent, i just wish that some of it was done Better" type thing.
I've also been looking at squid game, especially season three, similarly to how I'd look at a Greek tragedy. Squid game shares a lot of key elements you see in them: dramatic irony, hubris, hamartia (a fatal flaw or lapse in judgement leading to a character's downfall), peripeteia (a sudden reversal of circumstances), catharsis (emotional release), and moral dilemmas. The themes also overlap, and I'm reminded of tragedies like Electra. And I think that some of s3's choices make a little bit of sense if you see the story as emulating a Greek tragedy; I'm not saying you have to like it, but for me it made me more understanding of the message being conveyed.
Finally, I want to say that my love for squid game hasn't diminished at all, and I won't be leaving the fandom any time soon. Even with my complicated feelings about s3, I still think s1 and s2 are incredible and it's worth sticking around even just for them.
TLDR; my thoughts are still complicated, but i don't think the season is as bad as i initially thought
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ourloveiselectrifying · 1 day ago
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OLIE NOT SO MONTHLY UPDATE!! :3
Hi everyone! Doing really well! Hope you all are too! :3
Progress has been slow but I'm finally getting back into the groove :D
What I've been working on (Lot o' Spoilers!!!)
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We now onto art! Mainly BGs atm!
Designed another character! (For a future chapter/update) C:
Here's what my art progress looks like :D
First concept - Before I even started working on the game (I know it's bad I did like 50 different CG/BG concepts in one sitting) ▼
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in game placeholder CG ▼
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Final sketch ▼
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Final in progress ▼
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Final :D (No kevin sorry, it's a surprise ▼
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Also heres the layers for the bathroom, I use layeredimage!
BG ▼
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The piece I recolour for MCs skin using transforms - I need to add shading to it ▼
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The glass pane and the stinky dingo reason why the pane is going to be seperate from the BG ▼
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And this :> ▼
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Another BG, has a layer too :3
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And another with a LOT of layers, but you're only getting a tiny bit of this one
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I've also been optimising my game because I haven't even started 1/4 of the art and were about to reach the Itchio 1GB game limit ;w; it's mostly the shitty customiser and some old backgrounds that change colour with entire seperate images rather than transforms, I'm also hoping that Itchio will have some understanding that the customisation in OLiE has simply reached obnoxious levels- but like I will straight up look at self-hosting if I gotta!
To lower game size I'm working on making a single shimmer animation for all hidden buttons that I can just AlphaMask on to imagebuttons
Clearing out unused/scrapped assets too
Adding in all of MC's expressions within dialouge- I had made up my own side image because I wanted animations for it, but that has made more problems for me lol
Sorry I know this doesn't look like much, art takes up a LAWT of time and as much as I'd like to, I shouldn't show absolutely everything heheheh
Thanks for sticking around even tho I go AWOL all the time Asdjjsjdsd
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But yeah! I've been doing so much better now that I'm comfortable and safe, I'm actually getting out and looking after my health, I got diagnosed with PCOS, which sucks but I finally have an answer why I've always had a beard and hypersomnia that requires the max dose of ritalin for me to function haha, and it means I now know what I can do to help myself a little better!
Also to everyone that messages, asks, emails, comments, I do see them all, and I really, really, appreciate everyones support, thanks y'all <3 Especially the ones checking in on me, I just have severe anxiety that makes it hard for me reply/answer, or even just press the freaking post/send button, but It's something I'm working on as well :3
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faguettism · 2 days ago
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Season 3 Mileven Kiss Scenes - In Depth Analysis
I was rewatching season 3, as per the title, and through this I've come to the realization of a number of things (though I'm pretty sure these have been said before).
I was curious about the song playing in the background of the scene where Mike and El were kissing just before Hopper tried to have a heart-to-heart, so I looked it up and found some interesting information. Then, there on out, it kind of spiraled into an analysis of the whole scene i guess. So buckle up because it's going to be a bit long.
I want to start from the first ever scene of season 3, first ever scene we see of Mike and El as an official couple.
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First of all, without diving into any of the events happening in the scene, I just want to point out that mike is wearing a yellow shirt, they're kissing in front of yellow curtains and green walls. Also, Eleven is wearing a flannel, which we know Will wears a lot. And I know the one in this scene is probably Hopper's but if you think about it, it's not the first time Mike kissed El while she was wearing a piece of clothing from someone with whom she or mike has a platonic relationship (ie: Nancy's dress, Will's flannel at the airport and the whole brother/sister talk right before their first kiss). Just saying.
The music that starts playing in the background, which then Mike starts singing too, is this one. I feel like some of the lyrics can be interpreted as queercoding, even though the singer nor the song is inherently queer.
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In this season we see Mike try to figure out how to navigate his first relationship as well as his friendship dynamic with will and fail because he's also struggling with his queerness and internalized homophobia at the same time. The first two lines in the song could refer to how Mike is feeling like he has to grow up and his fight with Will about how they can't not get girlfriends and play dnd forever (aka their time to "be children" is up). Also "a little more time could open closing doors", really? Closed doors? Closets, maybe? The name of the album is literally "Boy in the Box".
The next line "nobody wants to know you now" could refer to how Mike feels like he's not understood by anyone this season because his experience with puberty is different than Lucas's or Dustin's due to him being queer and he's also not on the best terms with the only person who normally truly understands him, aka Will. So again, he struggles with what to do in this new situation he finds himself in and even with Lucas's guide, he fails to protect his relationship with El. On the contrary he knows exactly what to do with Will and knows/understands him (even though he projects in the rain fight).
Another thing I want to point out before moving onto the next scene is just before we see Mike and El kiss, there is a white unicorn statue shown. We then see it again, right next to Mike, in the scene with Hopper. This statue can represent both El and Mike as it is a sign of uniqueness/divine power but it's also a symbol of lqbtq/queerness.
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Unicorns are also often considered a "dreamy/dreamlike" creature.
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We can take this as Mike trying to give up on and abandon his dream life, his queerness because of the hardship of being in the 80s and that's why "he's not himself" this season but it also reminds me of his talk with Karen in season 1. Karen had said this was a hard time for him, with everything going on with Will, and when they had this conversation we as the audience knew that Mike believed Will was alive, that he hadn't surrendered yet.
Moving on, there is a poster of a falcon (I couldn't find the exact picture but I'm assuming it is based on my research) in both the first and second kiss scenes. In the first scene, it's behind El and in the second scene, it's next to Mike as well as Will's drawing.
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Again, the same thing can represent different thing for different characters. For El, it could symbolise how she will break free from the relationship and find herself and for Mike, it could refer to him being in an emotional bondage (his relationship with El) because of societal pressure. Mike has a lot of subtle Christianity/Biblical symbols/referances surrounding him so it could also symbolise his "sinful thoughts" aka, queer thoughts.
Talking about thoughts, the song playing in this scene is this one right here:
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What is he so deep in thought about while kissing his girlfriend? Makes you wonder. Here is some other cool information about the song I found when I searched for the story behind the lyrics:
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A lot of referances to Mileven/Byler love triangle and the show's general themes, may i say...
And the lyrics?
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The song starts with the line "And I can't fight this feeling anymore" as the camera pins on Mike and El kissing. The rest of the lines on the first photo gives me the feeling of losing the objective and giving up, so I interpreted that as Mike giving up on his feelings on Will because he started to sense that he wouldn't be able to act the same way around him anymore without the adults poing out it was weird. His family did this before in season 1 but he could just brush it off as being good friends then. Now that he's older, at the age of having a girlfriend, he can't just hang out with Will all the time so he redirects his feelings to El instead and becomes obsessed with her. The lines in the second photo reminded me of after the rain fight, when Mike literally came crashing through Will's door because he couldn't bear being on bad terms with him and ignoring him anymore. He literally couldn't fight the feeling of being without him. The last lines could be interpreted as Will literally introducing them to the upside down. For the first two seasons Mike literally followed Will on his journey and went to/heard about places he'd have never found by himself.
Lastly, there is a mask shown in the second scene right before we see Eleven and Mike kiss. I think it's quiet obvious what a mask symbolises but still.
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This literally refers to how Mike is concealing a part of him by acting this way, to blend in with the rest of the society. But he's only doing this when he is with Will or El, the person he likes and the person he's supposed to like to be "normal". And this gets more blatant in season 4, when he comes to California. We know from the start of the season that he doesn't care about being normal but as soon as he goes to visit Will and El, he puts on this persona, this mask to try and hide his true self.
+ bonus panels of Mike rainbow imagery that is shown several times throughout the scene which we see again in season 4. This one is quiet literally Mike's name being surrounded by rainbows and hearts so nothing much to explain.
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These two scenes are the only ones where we see Mileven kiss this season, they are both in the same episode and not framed romantically at all. They're played as a comedic scene and are interrupted both times by Hopper, which will further worsen their relationship as the plot continues to develop.
Anyway, that's all! If you've come this far, thanks for reading all the way and entertaining my rambling :)
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racke7 · 4 months ago
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Huh. I actually managed to finish Divinity 2 for once.
#it took me 46 hours? supposedly? and in hindsight i remembered a bunch of shit that i didn't do#didn't manage to finish the devourer-armor (there was a bug in Act 3 so i couldn't get all of the pieces)#forgot about the dwarven-sacrifice area in Act 2. forgot about the sallow-man in Act 3.#pretty sure i also missed out on a bunch of fights along the way bcs i've completely forgotten how to do anything but Act 1#''optimally''. bcs it's been literal years since last i played it this far.#the final battle was also a massive anti-climax bcs... everyone is kind of weak#like. i nearly got a TPK when that ''child'' ambushed me right before. only survived bcs of Comeback-Kid AND Idol-of-Rebirth#so i was a bit wary of the final fight. and then... 2 characters took down dallis in their first turn#and then the other 2 characters took down braccus in THEIR first turn. and that was despite me getting hit with plague in between#so... yeah. it reminded me that my build is actually incredibly OP. but also that armor in this game is so fucking shit.#like. if i'm wearing FULL DIVINE MAX-LEVEL ARMOR and someone can ONE-SHOT ME THROUGH THAT?#then what's the fucking point of having any armor at all? right? except if you survive with a fucking sliver of health?#then suddenly you'll be back to full-health bcs of the inherent health-drain when you murder the shit out of them in retaliation#sooo... yeah. a very anticlimactic fight. and also kind of... meh.#it's fun designing a character. it's fun making up a strong build with synergy.#it's not fun to actually try to roleplay as your character. bcs the game actually kind of railroads you on that part too#(my undead dwarf who hates the queen? met the queen and had 3/4 options to ''be polite'' and a 1/4 option to not care)#(this despite that by the time i met her? i had EVERY REASON to be going ''i know what you're up to - and i'll kill you right now'')#(but noooo. can't allow players to be impolite to the royalty. what if the commoners don't understand their place?)#(not to mention the many ''flavor-text'' RP-exchanges between the player-characters commenting on things)#(where you're options amount to ''torn but positive'' and ''torn but negative'' with very few ''polarized'' options)#(or the fact that a lot of those dialogue-options are semi-randomized so there ARE options and you don't get to pick them)#and it isn't fun to OUTFIT your character. bcs you're either reliant on uniques for your Super-Special-Builds(TM)#or you're reliant on RNG-bullshit to get good gear from the shops (or you use a save-editor to specially craft them manually)#(which is the only reason i could bring myself to play this far along tbh. and even then the RNG is kind of frustrating?)#(bcs the different ''boosts'' are only semi-randomized. it's based on the ''level'' of the boost. and if you want to follow the game's)#(way of doing things? then there's a bunch of very-useful boosts that you can't have. bcs you have to pick only one)#and combat can be either tedious or anticlimactic with very little in-between (since either you one-shot them. or they one-shot you)#and... i'm gonna be real with you here. i understand wholeheartedly why upon finishing this game the first time around?#i just immediately turned around and started playing skyrim again instead. it's just not really a LIVED IN kind of experience you know?
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eraserbread · 4 months ago
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your husband, nanami finally gives you the one thing you've been pining over ✧
→ mention of contraceptives, (annoyed?) nanami, breeding kink, sexually explicit content
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kento spoils you rotten. he's starting to see that, now.
you wanted a house? a week later he slid the deed to you over dinner.
that new egregiously priced sectional you've been eyeing? add to cart.
there was only one thing he fought you on.
"i'm sorry - just couldn't help but notice." ken walks into the bedroom where you're relaxing on your side of the bed, new fiction book in hand that you only just picked up. "is this your birth control? it was in the trash can..."
"oh." you reply haphazardly, flipping to page 28. "my doctor and I decided we'd take a few months off the daily's until my hormones even out."
poor kento - he has no idea what you're talking about, but he knows you never told him anything about hormones. "yes, I understand." no, he doesn't. "but what about contraception?"
"we'll be fine for a few weeks." you turn to the next page, deciding it being better not seeing his face right now. you wouldn't be fine - in fact, you're ovulating.
but, is it such a crime to have a baby with your extremely well-off, generous, yet supremely stubborn husband? the way he's acting, you would think so.
"i'm just supposed to not lay hands on you for a few weeks?"
"if that's what you feel like, yeah."
"hey." he suddenly crowds you, standing at your side of the bed and pushing your book down. "I don't like the nonchalant."
"just wear a condom, nanami." you flick his big hand away from your book, content just to rile him up a bit before accepting defeat.
you know what you're doing.
"nana..." he's repeating his name -- a name you never called him unless you were serious. "I'll give you time by yourself to cool off." he's at that tempered-state right before his self-control shatters; all he needed was another push.
"lock it behind you?"
"why do you need to lock the door?" you can see it as he faces your back to you, heading to give you some space before he's stopped by your words. this is a home of open doors- even if you're using the bathroom. it's a bit insulting that you'd want to lock the bedroom one now.
a flick of the finger finds you at page 30, and you smile as your main character is taunted and poked. " oh, nothing. just thought i'd try this new toy friend sent me."
"toy? are you trying to make me mad?" kento's glad to admit he's never even seen you whisper next to a sex toy when he's around. he truly is so spoiled.
the door in his hand he was about to close behind him, slams shut with a single push. it makes just enough noise to pull you from your relaxed state, lowering your book and furrowing a brow.
so, just imagine your ease and joy when he has you folded in a mating press a few minutes later, sweat dripping down the side of his face as he fucks you into the mattress. your knee is over his shoulder, thick, chiseled torso shining in the dull bedroom light under sex and sin. he looks so good like this -- eyes screwed shut and only blinking open to study your pained, but highly satisfied expression.
"you want a baby so damn bad, I'll give you a baby." he growls, taking your other knee in his strong hands to will you deeper into the position. you're aching already, and he was not the gentlest, but you loved every second of it.
it's nearly embarrassing just how wet you are, and ken can feel it as you squelch and weep for him. it's impossible to let up, you're fucking squeezing around his cock like you're trying to milk him dry, spilling out fitting endearances that lick over him, giving him reason to take you harder.
he's so hard it hurts -- it hurts because you're so beautiful and he loves you so much that he hogs all of his sweet, sweet seed for you all day until you're loose enough to take all of it.
but, you're so damn stubborn and you know how to frustrate him. he loves it. he lives for anything you give him -- it just gives him reason to fuck you a little harder after a long day. he knows you need that, so who cares if it takes a little bratting to get your way?
after all, he married you.
and it's pointed directly at your womb that he cums so fucking hard and deep. forcing himself to keep fucking you through it so he can pump his seed deeper and deeper until it has nowhere to go but up and out.
your stupid little plan worked. now, he has you bred and limp when he pulls out, leaving a sick stain of white between your thighs in his wake.
"you got what you wanted? happy now?" ken regards you with a glance over his shoulder as he scoots out of bed. you're staring at him unblinking, just taking in the way his strong back twitches with every move.
it's fucked-out and pliable that you give him a little nod, smiling soft at the corners, you mumble --
"...gonna have a baby... yay."
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thankskenpenders · 1 year ago
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The Lara-Su Chronicles: Beginnings review
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The day has finally come. Many, understandably, thought we'd never get here. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten here. We've been through so much. Lawsuits, reboots, redesigns, unreleased NFTs, empty legal threats over the fact that movie Knuckles has a dad, an attempt to license out Scourge the Hedgehog to fans that immediately got canceled (in both meanings of the term), and many, MANY idiotic Twitter controversies. But now, here we are.
Thirteen years after first announcing it in the middle of his legal battles with Archie and Sega that changed the American Sonic comics forever, former writer Ken Penders has released the first part of his new series: The Lara-Su Chronicles.
Yes. I had to buy the book. I had to take one for the team. Look at the fucking URL of this blog, a blog I've been using to talk about the American Sonic comics for nearly a decade while the specter of this book loomed in the distance. The one time I've actually been paid to write an article about anything in any professional capacity, it was an article about the Penders lawsuits. I'm cited on his Wikipedia page. There was no way I was going to skip reviewing this, and there was no guarantee that scans would ever turn up online given the incredibly small audience for this trash. (Only 166 people preordered this, and even that number feels way higher than it should be.) No, I had to preorder it to ensure I could get a copy and cover it for the blog... even if that meant my name would be forever immortalized in the list of "supporters" in the back of the book. These are the sacrifices I must make as a woman who stumbled ass backwards into being an amateur Archie Sonic historian.
So, what exactly is in this book? How much of it is new? How bad is it? How did we even get here in the first place? How can this exist without Sega pursuing legal action? What happens next? And, most importantly... why are there multiple depictions of an Archie Sonic character breastfeeding in this book?
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I'm here to answer those questions as best I can, and in agonizing detail.
First, for those just tuning in to this decades-long saga or those who maybe don't know the full story, here's a refresher on the background info.
"What the hell is this?"
The Lara-Su Chronicles is Ken Penders' long-dreaded long-awaited continuation of his 1994-2006 run on Archie Sonic, ignoring everything written after he left by other writers like Ian Flynn. In particular, it picks up from the cliffhanger ending of the 2003-2004 arc "Mobius: 25 Years Later," which was set in what Ken considers the definitive canonical future of the series. It stars Knuckles' daughter from that future era, Lara-Su, among other new and returning characters. The project was first announced near the start of Ken's legal battle with Archie in 2011, and he's been posting WIP previews online for about a decade. Now, after all this time, a Lara-Su Chronicles book finally exists.
We'll get to the actual contents of that book in a bit.
"He can do that without getting in trouble with Sega?"
Believe it or not, yes, he can.
Thanks to the outcome of Archie Comics' woefully mismanaged lawsuits against Ken (yes, they sued him after he started filing for copyrights, not the other way around), he now has full legal ownership of every story he wrote for Archie Sonic and every character he created for the series. This was explicitly granted to him in the terms of the settlement between him and Archie (acting on behalf of Sega). He can even reprint his old Sonic material as-is to his heart's content. The main catch is just that he can't write new stories featuring Sega characters or trademarks, and his new stories also have to be distinct from Sonic at a glance to avoid confusing readers. As such, reprints can't use Sonic iconography on the cover, a few Sega characters (mainly Knuckles) have been renamed and slightly redesigned in the new stories, and the art style has been changed to less closely resemble Sonic. But otherwise, he can do whatever he wants with his own characters.
All of this is because Archie lost the original copy of Ken's work-for-hire contract that signed over the rights to his work. Without that (or any alternative that was considered permissible in court), his comics and characters are the property of their creator by default. Yes, those old comics are full of Sega stuff, but Sega doesn't automatically own the copyright for every drawing of Sonic in existence. And Sega put their stamp of approval all over those comics and let them get sold at retail for decades, even though (in the eyes of the court) there was no legal paperwork granting them ownership of any of it. It's almost like they were unwittingly distributing a fan comic for years and declaring it a fair use of their property, and now there's no takesies backsies. It's a strange and unique copyright situation. Again, they worked all this out in the settlement. And, yes, fans have long speculated that Ken stole and destroyed his own contract to regain the rights to his work, but frankly Archie was so incompetent throughout the lawsuit (it went so bad that they had to fire and replace their lawyers midway through) that I completely buy the idea of them just losing important legal documents.
Also, in case it needs to be spelled out: while Ken's a weirdo, it's ultimately a good thing for creatives everywhere that Archie lost their lawsuit against Ken. We do not want to live in a world where corporations can claim ownership of peoples' work without the contracts to back it up. That would be an incredibly dangerous legal precedent to set. And more comic creators, and artists in general, should own their own work! Corporations are not your friend! They'll delete your work for a tax write-off in a heartbeat! It's just bewildering that this guy, of all people, was the creator who ended up successfully getting his shit back, and that this is what he's doing with it.
"What about his old collaborators? Are they involved? Is he paying them?"
Ken is mostly doing The Lara-Su Chronicles solo, though he has, in fact, talked about compensating the artists involved in any material he's reprinting. The ones who give enough of a shit to get paid for a small scale reprint of something they did 20 years ago, anyway.
On the subject of his collaborators, it's also worth pointing out that Ken's wasn't the only contract that was lost. Most of the early Archie Sonic writers from before Ian Flynn's time seem to be in the same boat as Ken, with the ownership of their stories and characters defaulting back to them. Again, Archie fucked up big time. But like I said, most of them don't really seem to give a shit. For most of them, Sonic was just a random temporary gig they took to pay the bills while Marvel was busy going bankrupt in the '90s, not the thing that defined their entire careers.
The only other Archie Sonic contributor who's tried to do anything on the level of what Ken is doing was writer and editor Scott Fulop. In 2016 he attempted to sue Archie for the unauthorized use of what are now retroactively considered his copyrighted characters and stories, and he even announced a standalone comic about his most famous Sonic character, the recurring villain Mammoth Mogul (sort of a pastiche of DC's Vandal Savage and Marvel's Kingpin, with wizard powers added for spice). However, Fulop lost his lawsuit because he didn't put together a particularly compelling case. Since then he seems to have wiped all traces of his ill-advised Mammoth Mogul comic and his company, Narrative Ark Entertainment, from the internet. For now, this leaves The Lara-Su Chronicles the only project of its kind.
"What about those other Archie Sonic reprints he just announced?"
At the time of writing, Ken is once again claiming that he's trying to get the band back together to reprint all of Archie Sonic, now under the bad new banner "Floating Island Productions: MOBIAN LINE" that I can't imagine he consulted literally anyone else on.
So, like, look. As we've established, Ken can reprint his own stories. And if he can work something out with the other contributors whose contracts were lost, he can print their work, too. But there is no fucking way he's getting his hands on Ian Flynn's run, which Sega undoubtedly holds the copyright for. Even if they don't, Ian needs to maintain a good working relationship with both Sega and IDW if he's to keep his job, so he'd never go for this. Not to mention that Ian and Ken just... don't get along! Ken's whole plan here seems to be predicated on IDW going out of business (a thing he REALLY wants to happen) and freeing up the Sonic comic license, after which he knocks on Sega's door and goes "hey I've still got dirt on you guys," blackmailing them into giving him the Sonic license back so that he can reprint the later comics. Every step of this plan is ludicrous. It's never gonna happen.
He's been saying he wants to reprint the whole series for a few years now, though. This isn't really anything new. And despite his lofty plans that set Sonic Twitter ablaze, he quickly backpedaled. The only specific things in the works right now are a "two-volume omnibus" of all of his Knuckles stories and a collection of artist Scott Shaw's work on the very early Archie Sonic issues, since they're on good terms with each other. I have no idea how Ken plans on packaging these when he can't put any Sega characters or the Freedom Fighters on the covers, but these projects are small enough in scale that there's a decent chance they'll see the light of day. Scott Shaw only did like five issues. But anything beyond that? I'll believe it when I see it.
Or, y'know, this could've all just been a publicity stunt for his new book. I wouldn't put it past him. Let's just focus on the book that actually exists.
"So he finally did it? He made a whole Lara-Su book? It's out? He finished it??"
Yes and no.
The book that's out now is The Lara-Su Chronicles: Beginnings, a prologue for the series of seven graphic novels Ken somehow plans on making, even though it's taken him 13 years to put out literally anything new. I don't know whether or not this counts as book one of seven, because it only features 30 pages of new comics. 30.5 if I'm being generous.
Most of the book is actually just a reprint of his infamous Archie Sonic storyline "Mobius: 25 Years Later", which ran from issue #131 to #144 in 2003-2004. (Again, yes, he can reprint this, he just can't put Sonic on the cover.) Why's it infamous? Well, Ken had been building anticipation for this future era of the series for basically his entire run. We kept seeing King Sonic and Queen Sally from the future. Knuckles' entire backstory hinges on his dad having a vision of this future. Several years before Silver the Hedgehog was created, it was Lara-Su who was Sonic's equivalent to Future Trunks, the cool-looking child of one of the main characters who traveled back in time to try and prevent a dark future. Believe it or not, yes, there was hype for Lara-Su. And then we finally got M25YL, and none of that cool stuff happened. Instead it really ended up being about how unbearably boring the middle aged Sonic, Knuckles, Sally, and co. are in this peaceful future where Robotnik is dead and they're all married with kids, forced into traditional nuclear family gender roles. Lara-Su is present, but she mostly just does generic teen girl stuff and complains about how Knuckles won't let her do anything even though she REALLY wants to be the new Guardian of Angel Island, like, super bad! Come on, dad!!!
In its original printing, this meandering arc ended on an abrupt time travel cliffhanger that Ken was never able to follow up on before he left Archie in 2006. This new printing slightly changes that ending, using the unresolved timey-wimey shenanigans as a convenient excuse to alter the entire timeline. This creates the slightly different world of The Lara-Su Chronicles, where the few relevant Sega-owned characters have been replaced and everyone is ten times uglier.
After this, we finally get two short new stories picking up where M25YL left off: "The Storm," starring Acorn Kingdom super-spy and known creep Geoffrey St. John, and an early release of the first chapter of The Lara-Su Chronicles: Shattered Tomorrows, the first full TLSC graphic novel.
And now that we're all on the same page about what we're looking at, let's actually talk about the book!
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The cover
Let's start by beating a dead horse. The cover art: it's still bad! But why is it bad?
The cover is, of course, based on Patrick Spaziante's cover from Archie Sonic #131, the start of the "Mobius: 25 Years Later" arc. (Ken did the layout for that cover, though, so in the eyes of the law he's the original creator who owns that cover.) That cover was, itself, a tribute to the iconic cover of Giant-Size X-Men #1 by Gil Kane and Dave Cockrum, the issue that introduced the version of the team with Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler, etc.
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Ken seems to have forgotten that the point of both these covers was to hype up the arrival of a new cast of characters. The new guys are supposed to make a dramatic entrance front and center. That's the focal point. Meanwhile, the cover for Beginnings has the old timeline versions of the cast from Archie Sonic dramatically bursting out of a shattered crystal ball, while their new counterparts look on in mild bemusement - if they're even bothering to look at all, since most of the characters here are just copied and pasted from their profile pages. That's just not how you do this particular homage! The point is supposed to be "out with the old, in with the new." And why are they using a crystal ball to view the past? Hell, why are they even using a crystal ball at all? The original arc was presented as a magical vision of the future courtesy of Tails' uncle Merlin (don't ask), but the new story leans all the way into being futuristic sci-fi.
Of course, there is no real artistic intent at play here. The old versions of the characters are placed front and center in the crystal ball simply because Ken traced over Spaziante's original art of Lara-Su and Julie-Su (the only two characters on the Sonic cover he owns) and threw out the rest, ruining the composition in the process. Look at the awkward empty space where Sonic, Sally, and Rotor once were, and the new drawing of The Character Formerly Known As Knuckles who's no longer properly centered between his wife and daughter. Even if Ken can claim ownership of the cover because he did the original layout, this all just feels scummy and lame.
And, yeah, if it needs to be said, the new characters and Ken's new rendering style look like absolute fucking dogshit. Putting new Lara-Su directly next to old Lara-Su does her no favors. The shattered glass effect looks absolutely atrocious. I could go on, but we'll have plenty of time to talk about the art style when we see how bad the stories inside look.
Changes to "Mobius: 25 Years Later"
Overall, 99% of M25YL is presented identically to its original printing. Sonic, Sally, Knuckles, et al. are still present with no changes to their names and no tweaks to the art. Even the original cover for issue #131 is included only a few pages into this book with its Archie, Sonic, and Sega logos still intact and everything. Again, because of the weird copyright situation described above, these preexisting comics can be released without any changes.
There is exactly one bizarre change to the art, though, where a hand drawn shot of Angel Island is replaced with an unfitting photo background and the ugly Floating Island photobash that Ken has been using as his personal logo for decades. I think he only did this as part of a test for his motion comic app that nobody asked for. I don't know why this had to make it into the print version. It's like the book is firing a warning shot for what's to come if you keep reading.
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The new content begins on the final page of M25YL. In the original wet fart of a cliffhanger ending, Sonic and co. accidentally alter the timeline with an old time machine of Robotnik's and Lara-Su begins to fade away. Then, after everything goes white, we just cut to the present day heroes going "gee, you ever think about the future?" In this new printing, that last bit has been cut, and the rest of the page has been awkwardly shrunk down so that Ken can fit in a new panel. We now see the hands of an off-screen villain, seemingly named "Override," proclaiming that "the Praetorian" (Knuckles) has messed up the timeline again and that they'll finally get their revenge.
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Who is this Override? I have no fucking clue. The new stories in this book make no mention of them. You have to buy the next book to find out.
My confusion over the identity of this villain overlaps with another big problem: name changes. So many names and nouns have been arbitrarily changed in The Lara-Su Chronicles, even ones Ken didn't have to change for copyright reasons, and I only know what half of them are replacing because Ken's been tweeting about this shit for years.
The echidnas are now a totally original alien race called "the Echyd'nya." Even in flashbacks to events from M25YL attempting to mimic the old art style, if it's on a new comic page, they're gonna call themselves "Echyd'nya." Evil echidna faction the Dark Legion is now the "Cyberdark Dominion," hailing from the "Cyberdark Colony." The Brotherhood of Guardians is still the Brotherhood of Guardians, but now the main guardian is called "The Praetorian." Angel Island is still called "The Floating Island," like it was in the older Archie comics, but it's ALSO sometimes called "Avion"? When I read this I wasn't sure if he had randomly renamed Albion, the other echidna city from the Archie comics. But no. Now we have an Albion AND an Avion. Sally is mentioned simply as "Princess Acorn," while Sonic is referenced once as an unnamed "blue-spined Erinaceinae," using the scientific name for hedgehog to make it sound more sci-fi. In an incredibly ballsy move, Ken even mentions Robotnik as "the Insurrectionist Kintobor," retaining his original surname from the Archie comics that's just "Robotnik" backwards. Guess Sega never trademarked that one.
Aside from every name change being a downgrade, this leads to confusion when you're not sure if something is supposed to be new, or if it's just an Archie thing you're supposed to recognize despite having a new name and design. Is "Override" someone I'm supposed to know already? Am I just supposed to have read a fucking tweet from Ken where he said he changed the name of some existing villain to "Override"? The answer is no, but I had to term search his Twitter just to verify this.
Moving on!
New story #1: "The Storm"
If you've been following the WIPs, this is that story about Geoffrey St. John that Ken's been posting previews of for almost a decade. The title page copyright dates it to 2015, and that absurdly long gestation is probably why the art is so inconsistent here. Even the style of speech bubbles and the font change between pages two and three.
This is a problem when there's supposed to be a deliberate and noticeable change in art style here signaling the moment where the time travel stuff alters the timeline, replacing the Archie Sonic world with the Lara-Su Chronicles world. If you don't already know that's what's going on, the idea isn't conveyed clearly at all. It just goes from one hideous art style to a slightly different one with no explanation.
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The main problem here is that Ken has hitched his wagon to a franchise about anthropomorphic animals when he can't draw furries to save his life. (Though a bit later in the book we'll also begin to wonder if he can even still draw humans.) He's shifted away from the cartooniness of the original designs and given them more human proportions and facial features, but this just ends up making them look incredibly uncanny and lumpy and gross. With some designs he's trying to lean into more of a Star Trek alien vibe, but then he still insists upon retaining the giant Sonic eyes on most characters even though he has no idea how to make them emote.
The rendering of these godawful designs doesn't do them any favors, either. Ken's going for more of a painterly look now, but it almost seems as though he's shading everything with Photoshop's burn and dodge tools that are designed to darken and lighten select areas of a photo. The result is a muddy, smudgy look that makes it feel like the color layer has been smeared in vaseline. And it only looks worse after coming off of 14 chapters of M25YL that have way more palatable art.
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The backgrounds, too, are a complete mess, a jumble of low res jpeg photo elements (sometimes with extremely noticeable pixelation), stock textures, and smooth digital gradients. There's no real sense of place here, and it gives everything a surreal, dreamlike quality when you can't really tell where anything is supposed to take place. This first story is seemingly set in a high-tech stronghold below Castle Acorn called "the Bunker," but it could just as easily be confused for the bridge of a spaceship. This whole story features characters speaking to each other over floating video displays and hologram projectors from three different locations, but without a hologram effect and without a clear sense of where the characters are it often feels like they're just in the same room as each other. Characters will be in one location on one photo background, and then the camera angle changes and they're in a completely different place, because Ken just uses mismatched photos off of the internet. It's been like 25 years since he first tried using photo backgrounds in the Archie comics and he hasn't gotten any better at it.
When I had my boyfriend read the book to see if it made literally any sense to him (it didn't), Anthony said this: "This is the kind of shit I'd see linked on a Second Life world that hasn't been touched since 2004." I think he really hit the nail on the head. Now, there's actually a contrarian part of me that thinks that might theoretically almost be kind of cool, in sort of a messy counterculture way. I love weird indie shit. I was a Homestuck reader! But this isn't a scrappy mixed media zine, or experimental outsider art from someone just messing around with Photoshop, or a loving throwback to weird old internet art, or even something intentionally bizarre and offputting like Xavier: Renegade Angel or a PilotRedSun video or whatever where the fact that it's weird and ugly is part of the humor. This is supposed to be a sincere sci-fi epic drawing on Star Trek and Jack Kirby comics, made by a guy who's been drawing comics professionally since the '80s. This is supposed to look good. This is supposed to compete with mainstream comics that are on sale right now. He thinks any day now IDW's gonna go out of business and Sega will come crawling back to him so that he can stamp the Sonic logo on shit like this. It just doesn't work.
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But, okay. It's ugly. We knew it would be ugly. But that ugliness would be much easier to accept if it was in service of an otherwise genuinely good story. So what about the writing? After all this time, how does Ken choose to kick off this new saga? Well, credit where credit's due. "The Storm" feels like a proper continuation of Ken's writing style from M25YL.
Because it's eleven pages of characters standing around and talking while nothing fucking happens.
Here's the synopsis: A dog woman named Brownie, an ensign in the Royal Secret Service fresh out of training and the only character who's almost cute, walks up to Geoffrey to deliver a report. He's immediately suspicious of her, asking who let her in and if she's a spy for Elias (Sally's brother, if you're new here) or Alicia (Sally's mom). The art style suddenly shifts when the timeline is altered, but the scene continues uninterrupted. Geoffrey points a gun at Brownie when she won't say whose spy she is. Geoffrey is distracted by a call and proceeds to have a conversation via a mix of holograms and video screens with Remington (head of Echidnaopolis security), Spectre (Knuckles' great great great great great grandpa, the one with the helmet who always looks evil), and a new scientist character named Dr. Zephyr/Zephur. (The spelling of this character's name changes multiple times throughout the 11-page story, because I guess nine years wasn't enough time to spellcheck this shit.) They say a bunch of made up technobabble nonsense about how it looks like the timeline was just altered and Knuckles and co. seem to be involved. It's complete drivel that I'm not even going to try to make sense of. Everyone decides to investigate further, and the conversation ends. Brownie tells Geoffrey she's his spy, then walks out and implies she's actually Alicia's spy in her inner monologue.
To be continued!!!
Yes, that's it. It's really just a bunch of technobabble where some characters talk about how it seems like the timeline has been fucked with. That's it. The whole time Geoffrey doesn't even get up out of his damn chair, which he's of course sitting in backwards to show how cool he is. It's just 11 pages of Geoffrey sitting in a chair and talking to people and looking uglier than he's ever looked. Nothing happens. Nine years for this.
I'm also struck by how meaningless all of this is to anyone who hasn't read Archie Sonic. The added context from M25YL may help a little, but "The Storm" focuses on characters who weren't in that arc, and the story does very little to introduce who any of them are. Brownie could've been super useful as an inexperienced point of view character who's only meeting the others for the first time here, but instead she's really just a passive observer who's here as part of some kind of 4D chess game between Geoffrey and Alicia, an off-screen character whose motivations in this era of the story are completely unknown to even returning readers. Who are the good guys and bad guys here? What are the conflicts and the stakes of the story moving forward? What do these characters want? Basic questions like this aren't really answered. I can't imagine a new reader being able to make heads or tails of this. Hell, I can't really imagine a returning reader who hasn't been following the last decade's worth of Ken's tweets about this story making heads or tails of it, either.
...Maybe more will happen in the next story?
New story #2: Shattered Tomorrows preview chapter
After another message from Ken, the story of The Lara-Su Chronicles proper begins with the redesigned Lara-Su walking along a jpeg photograph beach at sunset and crying while thinking about how Knuckles - sorry, his name is K'Nox now - is dead.
Yep! Straight into the dad stuff!
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Look, I'm the last person to complain about writers getting super personal and drawing from their own baggage in their writing, but Ken's just no fucking good at it. There's no nuance, nothing interesting to say. He just keeps writing mediocre-to-horrible dads whose misdeeds are always justified by their "good intentions," and then sometimes they die and their kids are like "we may have fought but actually you were the bestest dad ever and I'll miss you forever, I'll never be able to fill your shoes!"
This is the only part of the new material here that feels like it has any heart behind it, because I know how much his complex relationship with his late deadbeat father means to Ken (there's an author's note in this outright saying as much). But the guy died 42 years ago, and it doesn't feel like Ken has had any new thoughts about this part of his life in those four decades. He's just not an introspective or self-aware enough artist to actually mine his personal baggage for anything beyond "father knows best."
Anyway, so then it jumps forward in time(?) and now we're following this human guy who looks like this.
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Previously, Ken got a lot of shit for literally just using the likeness of Anthony Mackie for this guy, based on his IMDB profile photo. Ken has thus redesigned the character... and by that I mean I think he looks more like Ernie Hudson now? Ken's clearly just working off of photo references (if not straight up tracing), given his face is the most detailed and realistic-looking thing on any page where he's present.
But you may be wondering: who is this, and why is he here? Well, for one, he's here to run around in front of some low res space photos while making trite references to things like Planet of the Apes and Star Trek. Haha, he makes a joke about red shirts! Original!! But beyond that, Commander Mykhal Taelor (yes, that's really how he chose to spell it) is a human... from Earth! Archie Sonic readers are probably confused, because in those comics Mobius is Earth in the distant post-apocalyptic future. Well, despite being a Planet of the Apes fan, Ken always hated that particular worldbuilding decision from Karl Bollers, always preferring to think of Mobius as a separate alien planet. And now he gets to make that canon in his own stories and throw out Karl's ideas. So Mobius is basically just, like, a Star Trek planet now, with its own alien creatures that sometimes just so happen to look like anthropomorphic Earth animals.
Also, at one point Taelor wonders if the inhabitants of the dead Mobius might have been human, and the alien ally he's talking to over the radio says it's unlikely. "I don't understand why your kind has a problem understanding you're a minority within a minority." Perhaps poor wording for a line said to the only Black character in the story.
Anyway, Commander Taelor here seems to have discovered the uninhabited husk of Mobius after the vague time-space cataclysm everyone was worried about in M25YL has come to pass, and he finds an audio log from Lara-Su that I presume will explain what happened. I guess those are the titular Lara-Su Chronicles. In theory this flash forward establishes some sense of pressing danger, but when the threat to the planet is so unclear and technobabble-y it just kind of lands with a thud.
It doesn't take long before we get back to Lara-Su being sad about her dad. A good little chunk of the chapter is spent with this new timeline's Lara-Su recalling moments in her life, including echoes of the original Lara-Su's memories from M25YL, which feels redundant coming hot off the heels of a straight reprint of that entire arc. And boy, for anyone who read the later Archie Sonic comics, the protagonist having vague memories of the old version of the series from before a lawsuit-related timeline reboot sure does sound familiar, huh?
The art inconsistency somehow becomes even worse in this story, with Ken flip-flopping on whether or not he wants to use outlines, with the no-outline art managing to look even worse by relying entirely on Ken's awful rendering. By this point in the book, readers are also likely to start noticing how often Ken reuses art from previous panels. This is a shortcut that tons of comic artists use, of course. Invincible famously did a joke about this. It's often understandable. But, again... it sure does stand out in a book that took 13 years to make with only 30 pages of new art. Amusingly, Ken even manages to combine his inconsistency and recycling problems by reusing the same art with and without outlines. And, of course, any time Ken tries to draw the Archie era designs it's just... the worst.
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And, yes, it's in this dreamlike montage sequence of Lara-Su's life that we get...
The uncomfortable family nudity scene, followed by the dual timeline Julie-Su breastfeeding scene.
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Yeah, you might have heard about this one already. If this incredibly eerie presentation of Lara-Su's hazy memories of the two different timelines make it hard to tell what's going on, don't worry. There's another, clearer version later in the book as part of Julie-Su's character profile, because I guess Ken was just so proud of it.
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(I censored these myself because I'm not playing Russian roulette with Tumblr's inconsistent nudity rules and risking getting banned lmao)
Like, okay. Is a mother breastfeeding her child really that shocking of a thing to see in a story? No, not at all. But, like... when it's two characters who you previously created for an officially licensed Sonic the Hedgehog comic for 7-year-olds... and some of those officially licensed Sonic the Hedgehog comics for 7-year-olds are reprinted in the same book... and when it's drawn like this... yeah, it's kind of a shocker.
It just looks so unnatural. Julie-Su is posed very deliberately so that you'll see both of her breasts, and in the new timeline version she's barely even holding Lara-Su so you can really get a good look at her supermodel body, showing zero physical signs that she just gave birth. Most people will immediately jump to this being Ken putting his fetishes in his work (a type of criticism that I'm incredibly tired of - it's 2024, all the cool artists are blatantly putting their fetishes in their work now). And my immediate response is that, no, this is probably just Ken trying to come off as really mature on a surface level, a thing he's been obsessed with since the Archie days. Free from the shackles of writing a licensed children's comic, of course he's going to jump immediately into depicting some nonsexual, artistic nudity to try and prove he's A Real Mature Artist For Grown-Ups who just thinks the human body is beautiful and breastfeeding shouldn't be a taboo etc. etc.
But then, like. You look at some of the other character designs. Like Espio's daughter Salma, who's now this horrifying alien lizard person who's always nude, and her scale pattern puts scales exactly where her nipples should be. Or you look at his comments about the Echyd'nya age of consent. Or you look at how he keeps drawing Lara-Su in this. Like, does the shuttle really need this, like... reverse chaise lounge thing in the cockpit? So that we can keep getting these shots of the 16-year-old Lara-Su lying on her stomach and posing with one of her legs kicked up, her naked ass in plain view?
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The vibe isn't great, is what I'm saying!
I'm not going to try to ascribe authorial intent here. I don't know. I'm not a psychic. Given his very blatant reliance on photo references elsewhere in the book, it's entirely possible he just referenced some figure drawing photos that were maybe just a little too sexy. And also, he's an American comic book artist, and a boomer one at that. Those guys tend to draw women a certain way, even when it's not supposed to be sexual. I don't fucking know. It just sucks. I'm not gonna make some hyperbolic statement about how this makes him a literal pedophile who should be in jail, but it is deeply offputting and objectifying.
But if you already knew about the nursing scenes and were hoping there was some other really shocking stuff in there for me to talk about in this review, sorry to disappoint, but nope. That's the only shockingly weird new thing in here. Once again, not a lot happens in this story, and what does happen is pretty boring.
Once we get past the recap stuff and the human guy, the plot developments boil down to this: The timeline was altered at the end of M25YL... but not as much as you might think. In the new timeline, Knuckles ("K'Nox"), Cobar (now looking significantly younger), and Rotor (now a rhino just called "The Emissary") still traveled via shuttle to go find a time machine in the Badlands and fix the time-space continuum, like in the climax of the original arc. This time, though, Sonic wasn't there, and Lara-Su came along without having to stow away. Lara-Su watches the ship while the grown ups go deal with the time machine, and then after a couple panels Not Rotor comes back with Cobar and is like "Hey, Cobar got hurt, we gotta leave. Dunno what happened to your dad." And then they just, like. Presume that Knuckles must have died. Even though we have no idea what happened to him. And then they just fly away. And then Lara-Su is sad that her dad died.
And that's pretty much it!
This is supposed to be a really emotional sequence - it's literally the scene where Lara-Su learns that Knuckles is dead - but instead it comes off as unintentionally funny because of how poorly it's portrayed. Not showing Knuckles' actual disappearance is a huge misstep, for one, making his uncertain fate more confusing and anticlimactic than dramatic. But also, Ken keeps just using the same two drawings of Rotor for two pages, so he doesn't really seem to be emoting at all, and he's in this spacey hazmat suit that honestly just makes him look like fucking Moltar from Space Ghost. So the whole time I'm just reading his dialogue in Moltar's deadpan voice as he's like "I dunno. We did what we could. Anyway, let's leave."
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After this, we get a two-page spread previewing the rest of the story from Shattered Tomorrows. It's basically like a trailer in comic form. It has one of the most mystifying layouts I've ever seen in a comic book. I have no idea what order I'm supposed to read this in.
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Yeah, I kinda have a feeling this is the full extent of what Ken has drawn for the rest of that book. I'd love to be wrong, but I fear that I'm right.
Bonus material: Data files
These are mostly very dull, recapping a lot of events shared between Ken's Archie run and the new Lara-Su Chronicles timeline. It seems like almost his entire run is still considered canon to the backstory of the new timeline, just with some names changed, and things only really diverge at the climax of M25YL. But I'll share the interesting stuff here.
Lara-Su
The main thing you'll notice in Lara-Su's profile is the massive, unreadable wall of text where Ken felt the need to list the entire Knuckles family tree, split across both pages.
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This is literally so long that Lara-Su's personal history has to awkwardly cut off mid-sentence and be continued on the final page of the book, after the rest of the data files.
Also, please note that this list gives Julie-Su's mom's full name as Mari-Su of the House of Atrades. Incredible on all levels.
There's also a reference to the dark timeline Lara-Su was originally supposed to come from. You know, the one where Julie-Su is the leader of a rebel movement fighting against a Knuckles who had gone mad with power? The timeline that would have been way more interesting than the one in M25YL? Here it seems to have been written off as the result of another "timeline disruption." Lara-Su allegedly has vague memories of this timeline, in the same way that she has vague memories of the M25YL timeline.
Geoffrey
Geoffrey's bio mostly recaps events from the Archie comics, which means the Sonic/Sally/Geoffrey love triangle has to be alluded to. His rivalry with Sonic is described like this:
"He would later resurface when Kintobor was transporting his latest hi-tech weapon, the Dynamac-3000. It was during that mission he discovered a rival for the Princess' affections. Whereas the Princess would be one of a line of conquests where St. John was concerned, the blue-spined Erinaceinae who protested doth a bit too much regarding his affections for the Princess for St. John's taste would prove to be a source of great sport and amusement."
Yes. It's gross. Saying that Geoffrey saw Sally as "one of a line of conquests" is gross. Ken writing this and then still treating Geoffrey as the coolest badass ever is gross. The "Princess Acorn" is also first on the list of Geoffrey's "female relationships" elsewhere in his bio, though I suppose how much of a "relationship" they had is left vague. Honestly, at this point the fact that Ken didn't explicitly confirm that Geoffrey took the underage Sally's virginity in the book comes off as a display of restraint. The bar couldn't be any lower, I know.
Remington
His bio is, frankly, shockingly long for such a minor character, though I guess he does get a large portion of the word salad dialogue in "The Storm." There's a lot of stuff here about how the identities of his biological parents are shrouded in mystery, a plot point that fans have long speculated Ken just straight up forgot about in his time at Archie. (Ian confirmed that Kragok from the Dark Legion was Remington's dad, though, so this isn't really much of a mystery.)
Lien-Da
She gets a bio even though she's not present in the two new stories, just so we get to look at her awful new design and compare it to how Steven Butler drew her earlier in the book:
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Commander Taelor
We get to see two drawings of him with the same exact Ernie Hudson face side by side! That's fun.
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Julie-Su
She gets a list of "known friends," but the only character listed is Knuckles' mom. Poor Julie-Su.
Also, Ken feels the need to reiterate that Knuckles and Julie-Su are still distant cousins. He made a whole new timeline where he can change whatever details he wants, but THAT had to remain canon. Thanks, Ken.
And then after the data files we get the special thanks page, listing everyone who preordered the book and/or bought TLSC merch from Ken.
With my name on the list. Because I had to buy a copy to cover it for the blog.
My name is on the very next page right after the breastfeeding panel in Julie-Su's data file.
Yep. He got me.
Is it at least a well put together book? Like, in terms of manufacturing quality?
Its physical quality is... fine. It's a nice, sturdy hardcover. The print quality seems fine, though mine does have a bit of smudging from some sort of printing error on one page. The pages don't seem like they'll fall out on me. The image quality is crisp. The colors are vibrant. This is a low bar, but this is one of the few places where I'm able to give this book anything resembling praise.
The formatting and graphic design work, on the other hand...
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(I didn't crumple those page corners, it came like that.)
For one, the placement and sizes of the M25YL pages is inconsistent, largely due to the fact that the book doesn't actually match the proportions of a comic. A lot of pages aren't properly centered vertically. Some pages go all the way up to the top edge of the paper, while others leave a visible gap of about half a centimeter. Every page has a 1cm gap to its left and right, which is sometimes filled in with a solid color or gradient that doesn't quite match the page it's surrounding. I have to assume Ken didn't have any sort of source files or original artwork to work off of, as those ideally would've had more generous bleed to account for slight shifts in printing. It kind of seems like he just got the highest resolution versions he could find of the digital releases online and printed those. The colors are a dead ringer for the digital versions, which have always looked slightly more saturated and pastel than they did in print.
I can't say this bodes well for his further plans for Archie Sonic reprints - sorry, Mobian Line reprints. If they ever come out, please, for the love of god, do not buy those. I don't care how much you love Archie Sonic, they aren't going to be good reprints. For comparison, IDW's similarly priced hardcover Sonic collections have none of these formatting problems, because they're made by people who know what they're doing with access to the actual source files.
The book also has its fair share of text-focused pages, split between the data files and messages directly from Ken about the history of his career and this project, and these are formatted in the most amateurish way possible. Just massive walls of Arial text over either plain white backgrounds, simple gradients, or faded photos. I've seen school yearbooks with better graphic design. Even ignoring my subjective feelings about the art and stories within, this book does not feel like it's worth $36 USD.
It's frankly shocking how shabby he let this thing look considering it's supposed to be his baby. And doesn't that really sum it all up?
Closing thoughts
Obviously, I did not expect this to be any good. But I'm still left kind of dumbfounded by it.
I think what really strikes me about it is that Ken had a blank check to do whatever he wanted here. He got an opportunity many writers would kill for when he gained complete ownership of his most famous work. He's free from the limitations of a monthly licensed comic book for children, free to make whatever creative decisions he wants without editors or other writers or Sega to worry about, free to completely reinvent the series to his heart's content and finally tell the story of his dreams. And with that opportunity and 13 years of his time, he made... this. A direct continuation of "Mobius: 25 Years Later" that barely changes anything about the characters or world beyond their awful new designs, even though much of the word count is spent rambling about how the timeline has changed. A story that makes zero concessions for new readers, or even returning readers who don't already have the last decade's worth of Ken's tweets explaining his creative decisions burned into their memory. 30 pages where nothing really happens and the story barely moves forward an inch despite the decades-long wait - but maybe something will happen if you buy the next book!
Who is this for? Maybe this really is a project for no one but Ken. Maybe he just really, really wants to finish the story he started, a story that's personal to him due to the family history it evokes, and the number of people who enjoy it or buy it beyond that is irrelevant. I think that many of the best artists are incredibly self-indulgent ones working with that exact mindset, artists whose enthusiasm for their own work jumps off the page or screen. So, if that's the case, then why the fuck isn't he telling the damn story? What's stopping him? Why is he still spinning his wheels? Where is that passion for his own work? Because it sure as hell isn't there on the page. There's a huge part of me that really wishes I could say "Man, what a weirdo, but you do you, Ken. You tell your weird little story." But there's barely any story here. It's like he loves styling himself as a storyteller, but he's terrified of finally having to actually tell a story after all this time. He's still stuck in the exact same mode of writing he was in almost 30 years ago when he was doing 6-page backup stories about Knuckles, just killing time and stringing readers along until he's eventually able to truly realize his vision. If not now, then when, Ken?
Even the back cover blurb is mostly just a dry recap of the history of this thing. It was a Sonic comic, the original arc was published in these issues, it went unfinished, Ken left Archie, the lawsuits happened, now he's continuing the story. There's nothing about why anyone should give a shit about this as its own story, even though Ken has spent years trying in vain to convince people TLSC is its own beast that shouldn't be judged as a Sonic story. I think deep down he knows that there's no pitch for this beyond the novelty of it originating from Sonic. And that's why, despite declaring that he'd leave the site, he's still on Twitter riling up Sonic fans. It's the only attention he gets at this point.
Maybe this is too harsh when those 30 pages of new comics are just intended as a preview for the "real" book. But the elephant in the room is that we have no idea if that "real" book will ever actually come out, let alone the entire series of seven graphic novels that will supposedly complete this saga.
Ken is undeniably a complete jackass and all around unpleasant, vindictive person who's rightly become an industry pariah. He's a self-proclaimed paragon of progressive values who'll send Comicsgaters after his successors for the crime of not worshiping the ground he walks on, and then turn around and announce he's going to reprint their work without even consulting them. He's a sore winner who already won his copyright battle on a level most comic writers would never dare to dream of, and yet still won't truly be satisfied until he sees an entire major comic publisher go out of business, putting god knows how many people out of work, because he thinks this would get him back the license to a video game franchise he doesn't even like.
But I still have to pity him.
As an artist, the trajectory of his life is my nightmare. I think all of us fear dying before we can tell all the stories we want to tell. There's simply never enough time to do everything. And here's Ken in his 60s, talking about how he's still planning on making his magnum opus all by himself out of stubbornness and pride, despite demonstrably proving he can't handle the workload, and also talking about how if he dies before the project can be finished he'll have to pass the torch on to his kids and get them to finish it for him. It's so grim. Even just typing that sends a shiver down my spine. It took nine years of his limited time on Earth to finish and release an 11-page comic about Geoffrey St. John sitting backwards in a chair.
This is a purgatory of his own creation. And yet... I'm not sure he's ever been prouder. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
I guess if I want people to take anything away from this review, it's this:
Lesson one: If you're an artist or writer of some kind, or an aspiring creator, don't wait around. No one else is going to tell your story for you. Start writing that novel. Start drawing that webcomic. Start making that game. If Penders can put out this damn book that no one asked for after 13 years of work, then proudly proclaim that he's still going to make six or seven more books and also reprint hundreds of comics he doesn't have all of the rights to, then show up to cons with that foul Lara-Su Chronicles: Shattered Tomorrows banner and sit in front of it beaming with pride, fully aware of his critics but saying "fuck 'em, I know I'm hot shit," then you can do fucking anything. Tell the weird, sincere, cringe story of your dreams. If Ken Penders doesn't have imposter syndrome, then nobody should.
And lesson two: Don't buy Ken's books.
6K notes · View notes
kenyummy · 4 months ago
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✰ 01. the ballad of a bygone blight.
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✰ ꒰ ⍣'ˎ˗ platonic yandere batfam / spider! reader ꒱
✰ 01. sparkless life.
SYNOPSIS : being spidey isn't easy. being transported into an alternate universe where you're nothing but a shadow in your house, makes sneaking around a little easier... until you find yourself the apple of their eye... kind of.
note: guys i couldnt resist posting criesssss . also master is used as a gender neutral term!!!! couldn't be bothered to put master/mistress every time so
prev. ✰ masterlist. ✰ next.
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When you wake up, your eyes are permeated by a hard light. Your eyes are squinted hard and you're having a difficult time getting your eyes to focus.
Your brain is fuzzy and feels like melted candy in your head. What was going on, again...? This bed... it's really comfy. It's like laying on a bed made of clouds, fairy dust, and your hopes and dreams.
(Nothing like your lumpy mattress back home... May told you it built character.)
You reach your hand up, to try and block out the harsh glare directed right into your retina. It dims in a second, and for a moment—you think you've finally developed mutant powers of telekinesis. You sit up—only to discover you were not actually the one who turned off said lights.
"Apologies, Master [name]." An older man with a distinct British accent stands in the door—a few feet away from the bed you're resting on. "I did not realise you had awoken already. I would've turned down the lights, if I was aware."
You blink, surveying the room around you. It's big. Unfamiliar, as well. Modern. Really big. Wait, did he just call you—
"Master [name]?" Your mouth moves faster than your mind, and your brows furrow deep. "What... where am I?"
The older man looks genuinely puzzled at how defensive your stance is. "Oh dear. Perhaps you did end up getting lead poisoning. Or a concussion. ... No matter. This recent amnesia is common within traumatic injuries."
He clears his throat with strict elegance and straightens his posture, "[name]. I believe you were attacked in an alleyway, when your brother found you. You were in the hospital for a few days, and brought back here—back home—this morning. You're currently in one of your father's guest rooms. The doctors said you were healing miraculously fast."
You hiss lowly. You really hope they hadn't gotten a blood sample—you haven't had the best of experiences with people getting your blood.
"You seem to be alright now. A bit..." He looks at your exposed, scarred shoulders. "Scuffed up—but better than when Master Jason had found you."
Your brother... Jason...? Who even...?
What's going on here?
Your heart seems to skip a beat as the calculations start going off in your head. A world you had never heard of... a place you'd never seen before—perhaps you weren't on a different world, and like you had suspected... it was definetly some multiverse shenanigans again.
You knew you should've made Jess take that mission instead of you. Damn. You and your dumb rivalry with Doc.
But you couldn't understand why this random man knows you. He speaks as if you've lived a life with him—like he's known you since...
You chew down on your bottom lip. "... This is... my home. I live here, don't I...?"
You play with words cautiously, speaking slow and methodical. It only serves to confuse the man even further.
"Yes, you... do? Master [name], perhaps you should go back to the hospital. You're sounding rather frazzled—"
You almost jump up, out of the sheets, "Uh—no! I... I'm fine. My head's just a bit... messed up right now. Sorry."
It's not—after that flashbang, you're feeling fine. Your shoulder only burns with a stretch whenever you put too much pressure on it—but you're completely okay otherwise. But you don't think you should let him know that just yet.
"If you insist, Master [name]." He bows his head. "Do you require any further assistance?"
You blink, considering your choices.
Eventually, you land on the safest option. Search your surroundings. Find out what's going on here before going all Spider-ham on them. For all you know—they're super skrulls waiting for the right moment to strike. You need to be smart about this.
"Yes... I would like to go to my room... could you... walk me there?" You don't meet his stern gaze. "I'm not sure I'm able to walk on my own two feet just yet. I'm sorry."
You don't see how his stare softens at your words. "Of course, Master [name]."
He walks over to the edge of the bed and steadies you with a hand on your shoulder as you shakily stumble out of the bed. It's bouncy enough to launch you forward slightly—and it takes every muscle in your body to stop your Spidey-instincts from taking over and jumping backwards.
He slips your arm within his and steadies you as you both slowly walk out of the large guest room. If this was a guest room—you wonder what your room looked like.
The hallways weren't anything to sneeze at, either. Decorated with contemporary art pieces—sleek and so shiny you could see your face in the tiles below your bare feet. You felt so out of place—the civilian clothes you sported since you got here still dressed your body, and it wasn't even close to fitting in.
As you stumble down the halls with a bit of overdramacy, a man suddenly appears from around a corner. Deep black hair and the brightest blue eyes you'd ever seen. His smile is wide and he waves enthusiastically, "Hey, Alfred! I got back from Blüdhaven after uh—I heard what happened."
"Hello, Master Dick. It's lovely to see you back home again." Alfred nods his head. The man in question—Dick, apparently, which makes the immature teen in you giggle—gives you a sorrowful expression.
But... doesn't say anything past that. He continues small talk with Alfred—and you're left propped up in the older man's arms with a lost expression.
Did he... just blow you off?
One—that was pretty rude. Two, did he not just say he came back after he heard what happened? Not to toot your own horn or anything—but you'd assume being shot kind of counts as a "what happened".
You press your lips firmly together. This was getting awkward for you, especially seeing how comfortable this huge Dick (yeah, you're taking it and running with it) seemed to be with leaving this sickly, wounded (maybe you're being a tad dramatic) person to stumble like a baby fawn, in silence.
Alfred, however—catches sight of your one-sided tension, and abruptly ends his conversation. "My apologies, Master Dick, but I must help [name] to their room. I would love to continue this conversation at a later date."
"Oh yeah, no sweat, Alfred." He gives the older man a gleeful thumbs up. Then, his eyes meet yours. "Get better soon, okay?"
You avert his stare and only nod in response. Well, at least he noticed you were there. You're still in mild shock, but you somehow manage to keep a pleasant expression. With one last small smile, Dick walks away—where, you don't really care about.
Alfred slowly helps you up a flight of stairs. He only breaks the silence after you find yourself standing in front of a room with a faded name on it. Your name. "... All these years, and only now, you've suddenly changed. I wonder..."
His words are cryptic, but his expression even more so. What was he talking about? "... Huh?"
A small smile fades on his face. "Ah... no. It's nothing. I was thinking out loud. Call me if you need anything else, Master [name]. I am at your service. And please... get better soon."
Somehow, it sounds nicer when he says it. You smile a little, and give him a nod.
"Thank you..." You test out his name on your tongue. It feels natural. "Alfred. I'll try my best."
He leaves with a curt nod and not another word. You finally slide the door open, and take a look around.
You step inside, and it's like you've entered a whole new world, again.
It's... small. Not by regular standards—it's almost double the size of your room at home—but compared to a guest bedroom in this overly massive home... it's rather small. Like a closet, more than a bedroom.
It's empty, too. Your room at home is decorated with posters and trinkets of your favourite shows, pictures of you with Harry and MJ (sometimes even the four), and memorable items you've collected with your friends and family over the years.
Memories. You had memories.
There is nothing here.
It's like you're standing in a blank slate—in a world where you are nothing and yet everything you've ever had. It sends a chill down your spine.
You walk barefoot across cold wood and take a seat on the bedsheets. Bare white with a childish print. Something a young child would use. It looks pretty scuffed up. Old. The mattress creaks under your weight and you wince.
There's a bookshelf just opposite to you. There's not much in it—in fact, it's smaller than small and is almost completely empty. There's nothing but school textbooks and thick novels. And...
It catches your eye almost immediately. A little pink slip in the midst of deep black and brown colours. You stand up—ignoring the creak that follows—and walk over to the shelf.
You slip the book out, and immediately take in its cover. Pink, and with your name in wonky cursive. It's rather dusty, as if it hadn't even been touched in years.
You flip open the cover. Big bubble letters spelling out My diary flash you and you quickly flip the page before the glitter sears into your eyelids.
The first entry is there. Exactly seven years and two months ago. It's nothing like those entries you've seen on those corny 2000's TV shows for tweens—nor is it like those aesthetic journaling girls on Pwinterest.
It's something, familiarly, you. A short clunk of text about your day, on days that had some sort of exciting event going on—something you'd undoubtedly do. It almost makes you grimace.
This whole multiverse thing might be worse than you thought.
Two days ago I moved into a new house. My mom said she couldn't take care of me anymore, and I had to live with my dad. I've never seen him until today, but he's really busy, so we don't talk much. Alfred is nice to me, and his cooking is really yummy.
There's a little sketch of a baked dinner—and despite your pre-tween art skills, it does seem rather tasty looking.
You flip the page. The next entry is a week after the last.
I still haven't talked with dad yet. But I did meet two new people. Alfred said that they're my new brothers. Mom never wanted any more babies, so I was very excited to meet them! Jason is fun to play with. He's really bad at hide and go seek, though—I always win! Dick is fun too, but he's busy a lot, like dad. But he always makes time for me and Jason. I really like it here.
There's a small picture of three stick people holding hands. One is significantly short than the other two—labelled with your name above. The one on the left to you is Jason, with black curls and a wide grin. The one on the right is labelled Dickie, much taller than the other two and with shaggy black hair.
The drawing is innocent. Cute. Wholesome, if you will. There's even heart stickers pasted (and peeling, by now) between each of your heads.
You flip the page with a small, fond smile. The next entry is three days after that one.
Dad played with me, Jason, and Dickie today. He was really bad at hide and go seek too—but Dad and Jason chased each other all around the house before I caught both of them. I was so happy I won today! Dad took us all out for dinner, even Alfred. Alfred said he only came because I always look very happy when we're together. The dinner was really yummy!!!!
The drawing underneath is a picture of what looked like a smaller version of you, standing triumphantly with a little tiara on your head.
You flip the page. This time—there's a significant gap between the dates. This was a whole 5 months after you last wrote in your diary.
I don't know where Jason is. Dad and Dickie look really sad. They've been really busy for a long time, and we don't play much anymore. The only times I see Dad is at dinner. But we don't talk. Sometimes he doesn't eat dinner, either. Alfred still puts my drawings on the fridge, and he says that Dad and Dickie are just sad now, and they'll be better soon. I miss Jason. I want him back home.
There's no silly-looking drawing to go underneath this entry. This Jason—apparently the man who saved you—seemed rather fun-loving, despite whatever happened to him. You wonder what it was.
You flip the page, again. This entry was 3 months after the last.
I miss Dad, and Dickie. Dickie told me he had to go away for a bit, because he has something important to do somewhere else. Dad is busy all the time. I haven't seen him in 4 days. I don't play with anyone but Alfred now, but he's not that fun to play with, because he's so serious all the time. Dad tells me to go on my iPad and not bother Alfred when I'm bored, but I miss them.
Next one is 2 days after.
I met a new boy today. Dad told me he's my new brother. I was pretty excited because he's my age. But he didn't want to talk to me. He said he was too caught up in important stuff, and that I should just come back later. But he looked real annoyed when saying it—so I didn't come back. He didn't say anything, so I don't think he cared.
A week later.
My dad is Batman, and my new brother is Robin. I'm freaking out. He never told me—I saw them sneaking out one day and I got really mad. Why didn't he tell me? Did Dickie and Jason know? Was I the only one who didn't? Tim got mad at me when I started yelling. I felt really sad so I hid in my room to get away from them. I've been here since. Alfred brought me dinner, but I'm not hungry.
So... this Batman who you saw before, is actually your dad? In this world, this is your father? You almost drop the diary in shock, but you can't tear your eyes away. You can't stop reading.
The next few entries don't catch your eye—it's all teen angst about how you're sick of how busy your dad is, how annoying Tim can be, how Dick won't even visit your room anymore—until something else catches your eye.
3 years later.
Jason is back. He's back home. I don't know why, but he's back. I was so excited to see him again—everyone else has become so busy and won't even talk to me. Nobody else has time for me, but Jason did. But he looked different. He's way older than me, now. He won't even look at me. I tried to hug him but he just put a mask on and walked away. Why is everyone doing this to me? What did I do? It's not fair.
Your writing grows into chicken scratch near the end—as if conveying your frustration. You skim through a few more entries. More teen angst. More about how you can't even hold a conversation with your siblings anymore.
Some were sweet, like how you met some people, unnamed, and treasured their friendship so deeply, but they were few and far between.
I met a girl today. She's my sister now. Her name is Cassandra, and she has very pretty eyes. I tried to talk to her, but dad got pretty mad at me because apparently she doesn't like to talk much. How was I supposed to know that? She didn't even look at me as dad pulled her away. Who even is she? Why does my dad like her better than me? Why does he like them all better than me? It's not fair.
You're bitter. You're upset, and so, so bitter. It's so abundantly clear that as time went on, you became progressively more and more spiteful. It was rather sad to watch.
This stupid little kid tried to kill me. Claimed I was unworthy. I couldn't give less of a shit what he thinks—but my family couldn't give less of a shit about me. They said he's troubled, that he needs patience.
The new few words were less than family friendly. Unkind? Definitely. Deserved? Possibly.
I can't believe this. I'm so sick of this. I want to get out. I can't take this anymore. Jason kills people now, but Bruce still loves him. Even Steph and Babs get more love from Bruce than me. They're not even in the family, but they're better. Because they're superheroes, they're better. Maybe I'll be a hero myself. Maybe then, they'll see me.
You flip the page. That's the last entry. The last page of the book—but behind it, there's a page made of sticky notes on the back cover. Your eyes widen in shock at what you see.
It's all...
"Spidey," you read out the name atop this pasted page in a low whisper.
Your fingertips trace over the detailed drawings. Your costume. Though not made of nanotech—the suit was intricately designed with spider patterns falling all around your arms and legs, with a large spider torso. It looked somewhat like Silk's suit.
Web shooters, with thorough calculations on how much you'd have to bulk up to swing without taking your arm off (which, by what you're reading, was humanly impossible for a regular you), and detailed explanations on what the web fluid was made out of.
More environmentally sustainable than your ones. You'd have to take these notes back home.
It wasn't like your family would go looking—you can't help but think, chewing on your cheek. This was incredible. You must've been a real genius to figure all this out.
Back home, you had Reed and Tony help you with all your spider stuff. Sure, you were the one who came up with all the base ideas and constructed it all yourself—but they helped out a lot with all the technicalities. But to come up with something like, from what you can tell, all on your own...
It was nothing short of incredible. And your family had no idea.
You snap the book shut, eyes narrowing down at the ground. Your Aunt May never would've treated you like this—and if you were correct, this other you must be with your aunt right now.
Good for them, you think. Maybe they'd be happier there, anyway.
A sudden knock at your door brings you out of your stupor. You slip the book away quickly as Alfred opens the door, bowing his head slightly. "Master [name], dinner is ready. If you're feeling better, please come down."
The prospect of a family dinner leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, especially after all you've read from this diary. No matter. You don't know how this you behaved before, but you have bigger issues to deal with than becoming a copy of this sad child.
But despite everything... Alfred really did seem to care for them—for you. You nod, smoothing out your cami. "Thanks. Let's go."
You and he both head down the stairs, and you finally come face to face with the family you've heard so much about.
They're all grinning from ear-to-ear, laughing about something that "happened on patrol" as you take a seat at the end of the table—beside a blonde girl who you think was called Stephanie—chewing on the food.
It was good. Really good. Almost as good as Aunt May's meatloaf. The thought makes you feel a little homesick, but you persevere. The hard glare given to you across the table by this small kid (definitely Damian) isn't helping, though.
Dick catches the look and follows his little brothers gaze to you. He doesn't say anything about it—only ruffles the boy's hair, chuckling, and asks why he seems so glum. The child hisses and starts trying to stab the man with a steak knife, to no avail—of course.
That was the last time you were even glanced at for the rest of the dinner. You almost can't believe it. How could somebody really fade into the background like that? How could such a family let it happen?
How could they be so ignorant? You lose your appetite soon enough, and stand up. The chatter dies down for a second. Stephanie—being the closest toward you, gives you an uncomfortable smile, "Are you not going to finish? You were out for a while... you need energy to get back up and do..."
Whatever it is you do at home, you guess that's probably what she was thinking. Who said you hadn't gotten a telepathic mutation?
She doesn't finish her sentence. You'd just met these people and already you were sick of this. Seriously, you don't think you could get any more uncomfortable if somebody strapped you to a chair and tossed you down a dark well.
You miss the most fantastic of fours you know. They'd never do this to you. Sue was far too sweet.
You shake your head, plate held tight in your hand. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. There's much more important things out there in Gotham, isn't there? Besides—I have more than enough time to heal. Not like I'm doing any hero stuff, huh?"
Your laugh lacks any kind of humour, and you walk out in your typical Spidey fashion. The chatter doesn't spike up for a good ten minutes until after you leave.
You meet Alfred in the kitchen, and he's doing countless dishes alone. There's a stack of plates almost as tall as he is. You roll up your sleeves.
He gives you a confused look. "Master [name]? I have told you before, you—"
"I don't care what you told me." You say, suddenly—but you backtrack when you realise how flat your tone was. Cheeks flushed, you correct yourself, "Ah—sorry. I meant... I don't care what you told me, because it doesn't matter if you don't want help... I'll offer it anyway, you know? I can't help it. It's how I am."
It's why I'm Spidey. Not because I have powers. Not because I'm good at swinging around. Not even because the costume is awesome.
It's because you can't help but help others. You have the power to do so—now it's your responsibility.
You take a sponge, and douse it in dishwashing liquid. You scrub down a porcelain plate beside Alfred in silence.
The pensive look on his face was now replaced by a small, fond smile.
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we getting into the typical diary entry stuff okokokkkk but. love interests next chapter. smirks let me cook!!!@
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meowse · 7 months ago
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That AMA marks the end of Dragon Age.
In my opinion.
I'll start by saying that I have played all 3 of the previous games repeatedly, I've loved the series for 15 years, more than half my life. These games inspired me to become a writer and they've shaped a lot of my tastes and interests in shows and writing -- to say they were formative is kind of an understatement. Don't want to go on and on about how much I loved them, that's not the point here.
I didn't care for Veilguard for pretty much all of the reasons people have already discussed at length on Reddit and Tumblr. The writing is comprehensively bad, the romances are easily the worst Bioware has written by pure virtue of having the most cookie-cutter pacing and shallow characterization I've seen across their games, the lore has been shafted in every direction, and the nuanced storytelling and roleplay I came to expect from the series has been taken out back and shot in the head.
All, apparently, in the name of a "clean slate". It seems to me that, rather than familiarizing himself with the existing lore of the game he took the creative reins on, Epler clearly had a vision for Dragon Age (or perhaps a different IP entirely) in his head that he decided to transplant into the game (and possibly Trick? But they've said so little beyond defending their work that I can hardly theorize what direction they were coming from). That being a sanitized, wildly self-contradicting, morally absolute shitshow focused on distancing itself from the previous games as much as possible. Now, I know it's unrealistic to blame one person entirely, and I don't blame him entirely. Corinne was there. Trick was there.
But if it wasn't already evident from the numerous interviews Epler's given on the game as well as his participation in the Q&A's (while the actual lead writer of the game has been completely absent in not just the marketing, but in most fan-related interaction pre and post-launch outside of BSKY), this AMA seems to have confirmed, more than anything else, that Epler doesn't understand the game nor does he understand its audience. Neither does Corinne Busche, who despite being Game Director for only the last two years of development, has been answering lore questions a) like she has any fucking clue and b) like she thinks Dragon Age is a cozy-gamer IP, meant to appeal to people that want uplifting stories with uncontroversial characters, morally upright heroes, and unquestionably evil villains.
So as of today's AMA, I think I've finally had enough. We're just outright retconning the lore in Reddit AMA's now, I guess. Among other things. I'll provide a few examples, just so we're all on the same page.
This was part of Epler's response to why Solas didn't have his cult following in the game (insert "We Kind of Forgot" meme here):
Solas' experience leading the rebellion against the Evanuris turned him against the idea of being a leader. You see it in the memories - the entire experience of being in charge ate at him and, ultimately, convinced him he needed to do this on his own. And his own motivations were very different from the motivations of those who wanted to follow him - he had no real regard for their lives or their goals. So at some point between Trespasser and DATV, he severed that connection with his 'followers' and went back to being a lone wolf.
The fact that this (the not caring bit) directly contradicts the writing in the actual game is absolutely INSANE to me, moreso than the lack of Solas's spy network (which he apparently carried with him for 10 years only to conveniently drop right before the ritual? Because he clearly had them research Rook?). But in regards to the not caring -- here's a line from Solas's memory of killing Mythal in Veilguard, which. I'll get to Mythal in a minute:
Why should I not tear down the Veil, and bring back immortality to all the elven people? They deserve it!
Which is it? Does Solas care about the people he's saving (the venn diagram of people he's saving vs. the people following him is surely a circle, i.e. elves) or not? Does he even care about the spirits trapped behind the Veil anymore or is it just convenient to abandon them and have him only care about elves, now? What happened to saving The People? What happened to him not identifying as an elf in his conversations with a Dalish Inquisitor? And what the absolute fuck happened to him wanting to bring back the magical marvels (that the ancient elves did in fact achieve) that were greater than anything we see in Thedas today? Here's what Epler has to say about elven magic, now:
I do agree that the elves have had their place in the sun at this point. [...] The thing about the Evanuris is that, ultimately, they were able to take a very specific type of magic and shape it into doing what they wanted. But even their understanding of magic was only skin deep [...] Even the magic that Tevinter wields, the magic of the Southern mages, is different from what the Evanuris used. The magic of the Evanuris is powerful but it's sterile, and it's constrained. So while the Evanuris have made magic work in a way that's more predictable and understandable, it's not the only kind of magic out there, and even then, I'd say they understood it at a very surface level. People were confidently describing how the natural world worked back in the 16th century. Very few of them were right.
First of all, Tevinter has been stated in previous games to have clumsily adapted ancient elven magic for their own, but they did adapt it. To the point where even Solas is surprised that Corypheus achieved effective immortality -- by binding himself to a dragon the same way the Evanuris did. So, cool, more contradicting the lore here. "They understood it at a very surface level" you mean when all of the magic of the Fade wasn't locked behind the Veil? You mean when magic flowed freely through the world? What do you mean, Surface Fucking Level? The entire point of the Dalish elf culture is what they lost; this wasn't the ancient elves thinking the sun revolved around the earth, the Veil was their fucking Library of Alexandria burning. Oh my god. I still cannot believe he said this.
And how have the elves had their day in the sun? I'm sorry, was Arlathan not given to... the Veil Jumpers? Instead of the Dalish? What happened to all the Dalish clans in the south, who had no infrastructure when the world was apparently blighted to hell? I guess they're just gone now! They've had their day! The story of the Dalish and the Evanuris is over (also confirmed in this AMA), and it apparently ends with the final snuff of the candle that is their culture. Congratulations, Chantry, you've won! Only took two genocides and a double blight, but we're done with the Dalish now! We get your mind-numbingly superficial factions instead!
What happened to Mythal, by the way? What happened to "She was betrayed as I was betrayed, as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!" What happened to the reckoning that will shake the very heavens? John's answer to this:
People grow and change over time. Mythal's essence - and in particular, the fragment of her spirit that Morrigan carries, that she got from Flemeth - is not the same Mythal who he knew millennia ago. Centuries of living in this world and being around the kinds of people Flemeth found herself around - the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke, the Inquisitor - changed her views, and made her realize her own culpability in turning Solas into the kind of person he is now.
Oh, right, okay. So she was pissed for like a thousand years, got her big speech about the impending "reckoning" out 10 years ago, and then she just chilled out because the last 3 heroes were neat people. What a fucking joke. And yes, here is the confirmation that the Evanuris story is over --
The story of the Evanuris is done - the gods are dead (or imprisoned) and Thedas is in a state of flux and uncertainty. I imagine that whatever happens next is going to be a surprise to everyone, including the people of Thedas."
So I guess Mythal's reckoning is never coming. One of the most fascinating characters in the series, shrouded in mystery for those first 3 games, PROMISING US a blaze of glory, only to fizzle out in this one. Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, for Epler's clean fucking slate. And we've not just tied up her story, but also the Veil and the Blight:
When Solas bound himself (or, depending on your ending, was forcibly bound) to the Veil, it severed the connection that the Blight had to the waking world. The reality is that the Veil has been leaking ever since the Magisters first entered the Black City, and the dreams of the Titans gave it its terrible and awesome power. Now that the Veil is fully repaired, the Blight lacks that motive force, and being so close to the epicenter of that change has stripped the Blight in Minrathous of its vitality. It's calcified now - dead - and Bellara/Neve no longer suffer its effects. If they'd been anywhere else, further from that epicenter, it would've likely been different and they still would be looking for a cure.
So the Veil is permanently fixed now because our half-dead Dread Wolf bound himself to it (a decision I still don't understand) and that somehow fixed every single hole ever poked in it. Fully repaired. No more holes, no more "Veil is thin here" because tons of people died in the same spot, nope, we're washing our hands and leaving it (and the spirits) behind us because we've wrapped up both the series-long Veil storyline and the blight storyline in a big red bow.
And Epler tells us Solas not only bound himself to the Veil but fixed it entirely in one fell swoop, no ritual required, just a little slice to the hand. Again, all in the name of a clean slate, so any future installments or media centered around Thedas can turn away from this story.
Then there's this. What we can expect from future installments, I freaking guess. The aforementioned roleplay getting taken out back and shot:
Q: "What lead you to the decision to step away from active conversations with the companions as in previous Bioware games, where you can initiate them at any moment and ask exhaustive questions?"
John: "For us, because of tech limitations, it became a choice between exhaustive investigate conversations, or letting the companions move more freely around the Lighthouse. With the kind of experience we were going for, one where seeing the team grow around you is paramount, we felt that seeing them interact in common spaces (and in each other's rooms) made more sense."
Literally confirmed that they chose companions moving freely about the cabin over ... interacting with them outside the handful of cutscenes we got. Who in their right mind would think this was a good call in a Dragon Age game? A series that quite literally prides itself on complex character interactions and storytelling? So they could... sit in different places? Are you kidding me?
They don't see an issue with the game's reception. They don't have any interest in addressing or responding to criticism. They're either happy with their choices or EA's got a gun pointed at their heads, I'm honestly not sure anymore. I used to believe the latter was true, but looking at both Epler's and Busche's responses today, I'm inclined to believe the former.
So I think that's it for the series. Not that I thought it was going to get another game after this, but on the absolute off chance it did, what would be the point? The best stories were ruined. Anything left they have to tell is going to read a lot like Veilguard -- superficial, morally absolute, flagrantly disrespectful to the lore, and delivered in a very poorly written package.
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masterhallmark · 1 year ago
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Rant incoming
I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.
All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.
Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!
Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.
Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.
We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?
We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?
We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.
Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.
Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.
And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.
Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?
Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.
Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."
Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.
Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.
The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.
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vettelsvee · 6 months ago
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SÍ... ESTAMOS SALIENDO | Oscar Piastri
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Oscar Piastri x Pérez!Reader
SUMMARY: Scared of everyone to find out, Y/N Pérez and Oscar Piastri decide to hide their relationship from everyone until Checo starts wondering how Piastri learnt to speak Spanish so good... and specially why he has a Mexican accent ↳ REQUESTED BY ANON: Maybe one were she is checos daughter and they hide their relationship from him. And also maybe she teaches oscar some Spanish. At the end they end up telling checo about their relationship
WORD COUNT: 2399
WARNINGS: Use of Spanish. Important to say that even Spanish is my mother tongue, I may have some mistakes because it is Mexican Spanish and I don't know much about it, so I had to do some research. Otherwise, mentions of unwanted pregnancy, unprotected sex, drugs and alcohol
TAGLIST: @hc-dutch @raavadakedavra @coffeedestroyingperson @evey-kuznetskova @bowielovesyou @chaoswithus @isotopemylove @iceman-kazansky @gwginnyweasley @formula1-motogpfan @myescapefromthislife @regalbanshee [in case you wanna be tagged just tell me so i can add you!]
VEE'S NOTES: Not writing related but I’m obsessed with a K-Drama I started watching yesterday and I just wanna write Come What May series since the main characters’ personalities are the same as Seb and Y/N (Di in case you read the OC Version) there lmao. Anyways, missed a lot writing about Oscar (I definitely will be writing about him more as he's my second fave on the current grid) and this one got me so happy with how it turned out! Hope you like it as well, and remember that I'd love to see your comments <3 ↳ MAKE YOUR REQUESTS | LET'S TALK! | JANUARY UPDATE CALENDAR
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© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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“What if you taught me some Spanish?”
“Sorry, what did you just say?”
“That's it, Y/N. Teach me some Spanish.”
You, completely absorbed in looking at the pictures you had taken during the date you had with your boyfriend that same day, lifted your gaze from your phone and raised an eyebrow, fully taken aback by Oscar's proposal.
“Spanish? You? You already speak English! English is the only language that matters to you all…”
Oscar shrugged, nervously playing with the steering wheel. At that moment, he reconsidered what he had said, unsure now, and realized that maybe it had been a somewhat strange proposal on his part.
“I just want to understand you when you talk to your dad or your family. I know no one knows we’re together yet, but sometimes when you do video calls with them, I feel a bit lost. I also feel like sometimes you talk about me, and I’d like to know if I should worry,” he confessed, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.
“And why do you assume we talk about you, huh?”
“Well, because you always look at me out of the corner of your eye when you do.”
You couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked with that unnecessary concern.
“Why do you have to be so chismoso?” You said, making Oscar give you a little tap on the shoulder. That just made you laugh more. “Alright, alright, fine! But I warn you in advance: if you laugh at me speaking Spanish or don’t take me seriously, I’ll break up with you.”
What started as a completely random proposal, with little prospect of a future or sense at first, eventually became one of your favorite routines. You took advantage of every moment together to practice, always hiding it from Checo or any member of the Pérez family when you were in the paddock. Moreover, whenever you were in your respective countries, you would watch Mexican movies and TV shows, and also some in their original version with English subtitles. You even started sending each other the occasional message in Spanish, thanks to the Australian’s initiative.
Oscar seemed to have, in your eyes, a natural talent for languages. Not only did he manage to learn greetings and basic words in less than a week, but after a month, he was already making the effort to use your Mexican accent and even incorporating words that seemed exclusive to your family’s vocabulary.
And that was exactly what, a few months later, turned into a real nightmare for the secrecy with which you kept your relationship.
While no one knew you were together as a couple, Oscar and you pretended to be just friends when you were in public. That’s why it was completely normal for Checo Pérez to see his daughter with the Australian, having coffee and chatting animatedly after a press conference.
“¡Buenos días, Checo!” Oscar said in almost perfect Spanish. “¿Cómo va, papá?”
You, hearing that last word, spat out the little coffee you had left in your mouth and opened your eyes, completely surprised. Checo, however, made a face and a frown, questioning his daughter’s friend.
“What did you say?” You asked, though you knew perfectly well that what your boyfriend had just said was something you hadn’t taught him, and he’d probably heard it from you.
“Well… ¿Cómo va, papá?” the guy repeated innocently. “Did I say it right?”
“Papá?” repeated the Red Bull driver, even more shocked. “Do you even know what that means, kid?”
“It’s an expression, right? Isn’t it like saying buddy?”
Checo stared at him for a few seconds that felt like an eternity to Oscar. Then, he turned his gaze to you, who was pretending to fiddle with your phone to avoid having to face an awkward conversation about why your secret boyfriend had just said that.
“¿Te importaría decirme por qué Oscar habla como tú?” Pérez asked quickly in Spanish, clearly aiming for Oscar not to understand.
“He doesn’t talk like me!” You quickly replied in English. “Oscar has been practicing Spanish, and well… he wants to fit in better so he’s trying. Duolingo isn’t the best app for learning, so he’s been watching YouTube videos... Right, Osc?”
The guy nodded, but that didn’t convince Checo. Still, he didn’t say anything else and, instead, coldly said goodbye to you both.
As soon as he was far enough away not to hear you, you turned to Oscar and started shaking him:
“Of all the things you could say, you call him papá?!”
“I didn’t do it on purpose, babe!” He rushed to reply, feeling bad for you. “I’ve heard it so many times that, well… I just said it without thinking. I honestly didn’t think it was anything bad.”
You huffed, knowing that it wasn’t Oscar’s fault or his curiosity and interest in learning your mother tongue, but yours for not setting boundaries or explaining the meaning of each word, as well as the context in which it should be used or who it was addressed to.
From that moment on, your father started paying more attention. He was an expert in discretion, but you knew him well enough to realize that, since the incident with Oscar, he had become much more alert and interested in you both, especially looking for clear signs that would confirm his suspicions that his daughter was dating one of the newest additions to the grid.
Unfortunately for you and Oscar, the Mexican didn’t need to investigate much, and he only did so for a month to confirm his theories.
During one of the briefings with all the drivers, Checo heard Oscar mumbling an “Órale, wey” followed by some insults in Spanish that you had made up when it had gotten pretty late and everyone was eager to return to their hotel. Also, instead of saying “sorry,” he let out a “¿mande?” which wouldn’t have been strange if he hadn’t continued speaking in English, as if nothing had happened.
You and Oscar seemed unaware of all your slip-ups; on the contrary, feeling like you weren’t arousing anyone’s suspicion, you lowered your guard. Displays of affection in public, though still cautious, became more frequent, especially when Checo wasn’t near you. Or at least, that’s what you thought.
The back of the McLaren garage, just a few meters away from Red Bull’s, as expected, wasn’t the most suitable place.
“We should go somewhere else,” you said softly while nervously fiddling with the collar of your boyfriend's shirt, who had his arm around your waist.
“Why? This place is perfect,” Oscar replied, unconcerned.
“Yeah, sure, perfect for my dad to catch us,” you muttered. “If he already suspects and looks like that doll from the red light, green light game on Squid Game, analyzing us so much to jump on us as soon as he catches us… imagine if he finds us. He’ll kill us, I swear.”
“Come on, Y/N, just try to relax. We’ve got it all under control. Seriously, there’s nothing to worry about, mi amor.”
You blushed at the compliment he had given you in Spanish, and couldn’t help but plant a chaste kiss on his lips, even though everything inside you felt chaotic.
“If you’re trying to convince me that everything’s fine by speaking to me in Spanish, just know that you’re doing it perfectly,” you declared. “But don’t forget, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel a tremendous anxiety and keep thinking that we’re literally one step away from getting caught. Do you know what he could do if he finds out that you and I… that?” You asked hesitantly.
“Is he going to give us a lecture on how we have to stay professional whenever we’re in public? Or is he going to tell me he’ll kill me if I even think about getting you pregnant?”
“He’ll probably make you come home to have lunch with my family and only speak Spanish,” you tried not to laugh but couldn’t help yourself. “And trust me, you don’t want to be in that position because you’ll have all my aunts, and there are quite a few of them, right next to you, asking you some very uncomfortable questions.”
“Then we’ll have to tell him as soon as possible so he can prepare. How about I tell him that I’m absolutely and completely in love with his daughter?”
You shot him a glare, panic flooding your insides at the thought of that happening.
“No, don’t you dare do that, Osc, and especially not here. You have no idea how my dad would react if…”
“Why not?” He interrupted. Then, he stopped, and after a few seconds that felt like an eternity to you, he seemed to finally find the courage to speak: “I could tell him something like… ¡Señor Pérez, estoy saliendo con su hija porque además de ser la mejor mujer de este mundo, me hace la persona más feliz del mundo!”
You couldn’t help but laugh, filled with emotion inside at Oscar’s sweet yet innocent declaration of love aloud.
However, a cough behind you made you snap back to reality.
“Can I know what you’re doing with my daughter, Piastri?”
You both slowly turned around. There, standing before you, was Checo, arms crossed, with a very unfriendly look on his face. You swore that if Oscar walked out of there alive and without a reprimand from your overprotective father, he could do whatever he wanted for the rest of the year.
“Well…” Oscar began, his confidence suddenly disappearing.
“Esto no es lo que parece, te lo juro,” you said in Spanish, trying to calm your father, even though you knew your attempts would be in vain.
“Oh, really?” Checo asked, raising an eyebrow, knowing you were both lying. “Then, what explanation do you have for this kid shouting to the four winds in almost perfect Spanish that he’s in love with you? At least that’s what I understood, if my Spanish doesn’t fail me.”
You were about to reply, but instead, Oscar gently took you by the wrist and stepped forward, surprisingly confident.
“Checo, I’m not playing around. Okay, I was joking about that, but not about what it means… like…” Piastri explained slowly, nerves eating at him as he couldn’t bring himself to look Checo in the face. “Your daughter matters to me, well, like… you know, like a boyfriend cares for his girlfriend.”
Checo tried not to laugh at the declaration of love from the man who had just confirmed he was his son-in-law and did his best to maintain the protective fatherly composure, thinking no guy would ever be good enough for his daughter.
“So you care about my daughter… You, one of my coworkers, a twenty-three-year-old kid, care about my eldest daughter enough to believe you can have a relationship with her…”
“It’s not that I believe it, it’s that I know I do.”
Not only you and Checo were surprised by the boy’s words, but Oscar himself too. He regretted it immediately, but before he could apologize to Checo, the man stepped forward, raising a hand and staring at him:
“So… are you two dating or not?”
“Yes, for almost six months now,” you answered, feeling a knot in your stomach, but much less pressure now that your father knew the truth.
Checo sighed, running a hand over his face as he tried to process the news his daughter, his little girl, had just told him. The girl he knew ever since she was born and now he had to imagine her spending, if not the rest of her life, at least part of it, with another man.
“And why didn’t you tell me before?” Checo asked, his voice tinged with disappointment but also some understanding. “Don’t you trust me?”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I knew you would react badly,” you answered, frustrated. “I trust you, and I know you want to protect me from any guy who could make me feel bad, but you have to understand that I’m twenty years old, and whether you like it or not, I’m not a little girl anymore.”
Checo looked at you and then turned his gaze to Oscar, who had his head down. Besides his nerves being pretty evident, so was his willingness to face any kind of dispute or reprimand from him just to stay with you.
That made Checo feel a bit bad, though it also gave him some relief seeing that the Australian was truly concerned and, why not say it, in love, willing to do anything for his little Y/N.
Finally, he let out a small sigh, trying to calm himself. He repeated your words over and over in his mind before saying anything else because if you had never disappointed him in your life, then he didn’t want to disappoint you just because you were in love.
I’m not a little girl anymore.
“Checo…” Piastri spoke, but Checo raised a finger, silencing him instantly.
“I’m only going to say this once: you better not hurt my daughter, or I’ll hurt you when I kick you off the track or crash into you accidentally. Is that clear?”
Oscar swallowed hard, feeling that Checo wasn’t joking.
“Understood…”
“And as for you,” Checo now spoke to you, completely stunned, “don’t think this is over. Your mother, you, and I will have a conversation about this and several other topics when we get home.”
Unprotected wild sex, alcohol, and drugs, for sure, you thought, forcing a smile to try to hide your worry.
“Now go on and keep loving each other, but be careful where and how you do it. I don’t want to be a grandfather just yet.”
With those words, Checo left, leaving you both.
“Well… now he knows. Finally,” Oscar said, letting out a sigh of relief.
“I told you he was intense. Do you believe me now?”
“Of course, mi amor,” the Australian replied, taking your hand and heading to your room in the McLaren motorhome, so, as Checo had said, you wouldn’t become grandparents just yet. “Your dad scared me, but I’m not going to lie to you, he gave me enough motivation to beat him in every race from now on.”
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jungkoode · 2 months ago
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5 SECONDS TO FREEDOM | prologue
˗ˏˋ debts unpaid ˎˊ˗
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"In Tokyo's underground, there are only two currencies that matter—respect and reputation. When someone threatens to take both, you don't just race them. You destroy them."
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next | index
⋆。°✩ chapter details ✩°。⋆
word count: 3.5k
content: street racing culture, debt collection, first meetings, midnight races, dangerous driving, Spanish endearments as provocation, the dynamics of Tokyo's underground scene, and your first defeat in nineteen months.
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✧ author's note ✧
Soooo here we fucking go.
I've been obsessing over this story for months—I think we all know that lmaooo I think I posted the teaser like a couple months ago and I was devastated because it barely got 50 notes. But you know what, this was still in my head so I did write some drabbles—and I kind of shaped the prologue, which is what you’re gonna read below hahaha.
“But Kiki we just sent you 45 asks telling you to rest” AND I SAID SIKE??? No actually, I’m okay I promise! Usually writing different stories is what prevents me from burning out, because I get frustrated with the same storyline so it’s like… I write something else and my brain goes ‘yay thanks’. You know, ADHD—shiny new toy, mind dances to the music.
Anyways, so. I love this. I love this because as always I get to experiment with different personalities and psychological backgrounds and what I fucking love about these two is the masks they wear and how opposite they are. He’s cocky and arrogant, but in a different way FMU!jungkook is. She’s determined and ambitious, always pushing for more, but still very distinct from all my other Y/N’s because she’s handling different situations (you’ll see in later chapters).
And Hachiroku and Jaque aren't just racing personas—they're escapes. And what makes this delicious is that they're running from opposite lives. One from privilege, one from struggle. Both finding freedom in the same five seconds at the starting line.
And yes, the cars matter. They're not just vehicles; they're extensions of identity. The AE86 is legendary for a reason—not the most powerful, but perfectly balanced in the hands of someone who knows exactly what they're doing (sound familiar?). Meanwhile, the R34 Skyline is raw, unapologetic power held in check by someone who understands precisely when to unleash it.
AS ALWAYS—READ THE AUTHOR INTRO AND TW listed in the index post. This is a must before reading this story.
Fair warning: this isn't going to be a clean race. These characters are messy. They make decisions that will make you want to scream at them. They'll crash into each other's lives and leave debris everywhere, and the kind of attraction that feels like a guardrail giving way on a mountain pass.
But that's the point, isn't it? The most interesting stories happen in the dangerous curves.
So buckle up. We've got a long road ahead.
Ready? Light’s about to turn green.
Also. Notes for this one are pretty high, that’s intentional. Like I just wanted to post the prologue to have it out for a bit but I still need to work on the arcs and major plot points. So I don’t have the story fully shaped out for now, which is why I want this to rest and check for engagement and reactions. Seriously—don’t crash out, I know this one will take time and that’s absolutely my intention!
Edit: prologue takes place 6 months before the main storyline!
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⋆。°✩ read on✩°。⋆
ao3
wattpad
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Respect isn't given in Tokyo's underground—it's paid in cash or blood.
You roll the cherry lollipop against your teeth, counting seconds in your head like engine timing.
Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty-six hours since you left Kalo and his overpriced Supra in your rearview on the Hakone downhill, his taillights disappearing around the corner while you took the perfect line through the hairpin that everyone else brakes too hard for.
It's nighttime at Daikoku.
You cross one leg over the other, letting your heeled boot dangle casually off the edge of your AE86's hood. The mini skirt wasn't a random choice. Neither was showing up without your racing gear.
Because tonight isn't about driving—it's about collecting.
"Kalo's nowhere to be seen," Maya says, leaning against your car's hood, arms crossed. "Dipped hard."
You don't bother looking at her, just shift the lollipop to the other side of your mouth with your tongue. The neon from nearby signs reflects off the polished black and white paint of your 86.
"What?" Maya catches your expression. "I'm just saying. Word is he's been avoiding this spot since you embarrassed him."
"While still flashing cash at that club in Roppongi," you add, voice flat. "Buying drinks for anyone who'll listen to his bullshit version of what happened on the mountain."
You tug at one of the layered chains around your neck, watching the crowd that's gathered tonight.
The usual suspects are here—wannabes with more money than skill taking photos of each other's cars, veterans huddled around hoods talking suspension setups, scouts looking for the next race.
Everyone except the one person who should be here with your money.
"So what's the plan?" Maya nudges your shoulder. "Just gonna sit here looking pretty until he magically appears?"
You roll your eyes. "Since when do I just sit and wait for anything?"
"Fair point." She grins that wolfish grin of hers. "So?"
"So I track his ass down." You twist the lollipop stick between your fingers. "He owes me fifty thousand yen. But more than that, he owes me the respect of paying up and admitting I smoked him fair and square."
Maya snorts, exactly as you expected. "Called it. Knew you wouldn't let this slide."
"It's not about the money." You straighten up, adjusting your cropped leather jacket. "It's about the principle. You lose a race, you pay your debts. That's how this works. You don't just disappear like some amateur who can't handle defeat."
"Especially not when he talked all that shit beforehand," Maya adds, picking at her black nail polish. "What was it he said again? Something about how no girl could ever handle his—"
"'No girl could handle my power on the downhill,'" you quote dryly. "Right before I passed him on the outside of that corner everyone brakes for."
The memory brings a slight smile to your face.
The shock in his eyes when you appeared in his side mirror where no car should have been able to fit.
The desperate overcorrection that sent him nearly scraping the guardrail while you smoothly accelerated away.
"Exactly." Maya pushes off your hood. "So what's the first move? Hit his usual spots?"
You pull the lollipop from your mouth with a pop. "Already did. Club Seventh in Roppongi. The garage where his uncle works in Setagaya. That ramen shop he's always at in Shibuya."
"Stalker much?" Maya raises an eyebrow.
"Thorough," you correct her. "There's a difference."
A brief silence falls between you as you both watch a metallic blue GT-R roll into the lot, bass thumping hard enough to vibrate the pavement.
Not Kalo's crowd—these guys run with the Yokohama crew.
"Kenji might know," you say finally, referring to your mutual friend who somehow knows everyone's business in Tokyo's racing scene. "He mentioned Kalo's been hanging around some new spot in Meguro the past week."
Maya pulls out her phone. "Want me to text him now?"
"Already did." You tap your boot against the bumper of your car. "He's supposed to meet us here in—" you check the time on your wrist "—fifteen minutes ago."
"Typical." Maya rolls her eyes. "That guy couldn't be on time if his life depended on it."
You're about to respond when you spot a familiar face weaving through the crowd. Kenji, with his signature sunglasses despite it being well past midnight, making his way toward you.
You straighten up slightly, not wanting to appear too eager for information.
"Ladies," he greets with that irritating smirk of his, adjusting his sunglasses even though there's absolutely no need. "Looking dangerous tonight, Y/N. Someone's not here to race."
"Just tell me what you know about Kalo," you say, cutting through his bullshit.
Kenji leans against your car without asking—a liberty you allow only because he's useful.
"Direct as always. That's what I like about you."
"Kenji," you warn, patience already wearing thin.
"Fine, fine." He holds up his hands in surrender. "Your boy's been hanging at this new garage in Meguro. Place called Midnight Rush. Trying to get in with that crew that runs the Wangan on weekends."
You raise an eyebrow. "The twins' territory? That's desperate even for him."
"After what you did to his reputation?" Kenji shrugs. "Man's gotta find somewhere to start over."
Maya laughs. "Not how this works. You don't just reset when you lose."
"Exactly." You shift your weight, boot heels clicking against the pavement. "So he's there tonight?"
"Should be. They're prepping for some big run tomorrow. Word is there's serious money changing hands. He's trying to buy his way in."
The conversation halts as the distinctive growl of an approaching engine cuts through the night.
Not just any engine—something with a tune you've never heard before.
Sharp. Aggressive. Perfectly balanced.
Heads turn as a midnight purple Skyline R34 GT-R glides into the parking area, before coming to a stop under the harsh parking lot lights.
"Who the hell is that?" Maya straightens up, suddenly alert.
Kenji's expression shifts from boredom to interest in an instant—a rare change for him. "New player. Goes by Jaque."
You study the car, assessing rather than admiring.
Aftermarket body kit, but tasteful. Custom wheels. The stance is aggressive but functional.
Whoever built this wasn't just throwing money at it—they knew exactly what they were doing.
"Jaque?" you repeat, keeping your voice neutral despite your curiosity. "What kind of name is that?"
"Latino guy. Showed up about a month ago." Kenji lowers his voice, shifting into the gossip mode he lives for. "Been cleaning up. Undefeated so far."
Your eyebrow rises slightly at that.
Undefeated is a bold claim in this scene.
"Never heard of him," Maya says, voicing what you're thinking.
"That's because he's been running mostly on the Wangan line. Outrunning cops, taking stupid risks. The kind of shit that gets you noticed fast." Kenji's eyes remain fixed on the car. "Word is he beat Hayato's record on the C1 loop last week."
That gets your attention, though you're careful not to show it.
Hayato's record has stood for three years.
This guy has broken it in a month.
Who the fuck is this?
Your question is answered when the driver's door opens, and the crowd's murmur intensifies. A figure emerges, oozing the confidence of someone who knows they belong anywhere they choose to be.
Not tall, but with a presence that fills the space around him. Dark hair, sharp jawline, and a smirk that suggests he's already three steps ahead of everyone else.
"He drives like he's got nothing to lose," Kenji adds, a note of genuine respect in his voice that you rarely hear. "Like he doesn't care if he crashes or dies. It's... I don’t know man. Something else."
You watch as the driver—Jaque, apparently—leans back against his Skyline, surveying the crowd like he's taking inventory.
His gaze sweeps across the parking lot, until it lands on your group.
Or more specifically, on you.
He gives you a small nod, as if acknowledging territory.
"Looks like you've got an admirer," Maya mutters, nudging your ribs.
You shrug, unimpressed. "Looks like another ego with a nice car."
But you don't look away, and neither does he. It's a standoff of sorts, neither willing to be the first to break eye contact.
You've played this game before with countless racers who thought they were hot shit.
You've never been the first to look away.
"Don't dismiss him so quickly," Kenji warns, surprising you. "I've seen him drive. I’m dead serious, it’s not normal."
"Nobody's unbeatable," you say, finally breaking the staring contest to look back at Kenji.
Just because you had to look back at Kenji.
"Maybe." Kenji shifts uncomfortably. "But this guy... he doesn't race like a normal person. It's like he's got some kind of death wish, but with the skill to back it up."
You scoff, though something about Kenji's tone—the genuine concern beneath his usual bullshit—gives you pause.
"Death wish or not, a car's a car, and physics is physics. There are rules to this game that nobody breaks."
Maya's watching you with that knowing look she gets when she can tell someone's gotten under your skin, even just a little.
"You want to find out, don't you?"
"I want to find Kalo and get my money," you correct her, though your eyes drift back to the Skyline against your will. "That's why we're here."
You scoff at Maya's knowing smirk, about to tell her to shut it when fragments of conversation float over from where the newcomer stands. One word cuts through the ambient noise of engines and chatter.
Kalo.
Your head snaps toward the source.
The Skyline guy—Jaque—leans against his car, talking to a small circle of racers. His hands move expressively as he speaks, gold bracelet catching the neon light.
"Kenji." You cut him off mid-sentence. "Who exactly is this guy talking to?"
Kenji follows your gaze. "Nobody important. Some Yokohama kids trying to get noticed." He adjusts those stupid sunglasses. "Why?"
"He just mentioned Kalo."
Maya straightens beside you. "You sure?"
No mistaking it. Not when you've been hunting that name for two weeks.
"Excuse me," you say, already moving.
Maya sighs behind you. "Here she goes again."
You don't look back. Your boots click purposefully across the pavement, moving slowly. Not rushing—you never rush. But determined.
Three guys surrounding Jaque glance up as you approach, their expressions shifting from interest to wariness. They know who you are.
He doesn't turn immediately. Keeps talking, voice carrying a rhythm unlike anything you've heard in Tokyo. An accent that doesn't belong here.
Only when you're close enough to count the stitches on his leather jacket does he acknowledge your presence.
And even then, it's just a partial turn. Forty-five degrees. Neck cradling slightly to look at you sideways.
Performative, if anything. Like he knew you were coming before you did.
You cross your arms, weight shifting to one hip. His mouth twitches upward at the corner, eyes traveling from your face down to your boots and back up again.
Not subtle about it at all.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of this sight?" Velvet slides from his lips.
One eyebrow quirks upward, the slightest movement. His Japanese is fluent but different—consonants softened, vowels stretched in places they shouldn't be.
You narrow your eyes. "You mentioned Kalo. What do you know about him? What's your relationship?"
He studies you for two full seconds. Not answering. Just looking. Like he's trying to read something written in small print.
Then he chuckles, using two fingers to move a thin strand of dark hair that's fallen across his view. The movement is unnecessary. Theatrical. Done for effect.
"Why so serious, princesa?"
It’s Spanish, the last word. You know that much, know from the way the word rolls off his tongue, deliberate, inserted where it doesn't belong. Like he’s testing boundaries, hoping for a reaction.
"I asked you a question." You keep your voice unimpressed.
"And I asked you one too."
He turns to face you fully now, leaning back against his car with the casualness of someone who's never been afraid of anything.
"But since you came all this way... Kalo. The Supra guy, right? The one who races like he learned driving from a video game?"
The description is so accurate you almost smile.
Almost.
"I hear he owes someone money," he continues, watching your reaction carefully. "Someone who smoked him on the mountain course two weeks back. Embarrassed him so badly he's been hiding like a scared rabbit."
His three companions take subtle steps backward, no longer interested in being part of this conversation.
Smart.
Maya appears beside you, silent backup. Though her presence changes nothing in his demeanor.
"And how would you know about that?" you ask.
He shrugs one shoulder.
"People talk. I listen." His accent thickens when he adds, "Es lo que hago." (It’s what I do)
"Is that right?" You don't react to the Spanish. "Interesting that someone who just showed up knows so much about other people's business."
"I'm observant."
His eyes lock with yours.
"For example, I observe that you're not here to race tonight. That outfit? Those heels?" He clicks his tongue. "You're here to collect. To make a point."
Something cold slides down your spine. Not fear—you don't do fear. Something else.
Being read so easily isn't a sensation you're familiar with.
"What's your name again?" You ask it like you've already forgotten, though you haven't.
"Jaque." He says it with a slight emphasis on the second syllable. "And you're Y/N. The 86 driver who hasn't lost a mountain race in what, two years?"
"Nineteen months," Maya corrects automatically.
You shoot her a look.
Jaque's smile widens. "Nineteen months. Impressive."
"If you're done wasting my time," you say, turning slightly, "I have a debt to collect."
"From a guy who isn't here."
He pushes off his car, closing the distance between you by half a step. Not enough to be threatening. Just enough to make his presence unavoidable.
"And won't be. Not tonight," he adds.
"And you know that how?"
"Because I passed him on the expressway heading in the opposite direction. About twenty minutes ago." He taps his wrist where a watch would be. "Running scared, looked like."
You clench your jaw. If he's telling the truth, you've wasted your night. Another dead end in your hunt for the coward who owes you.
"So you just happened to recognize a stranger's car?" Maya asks, skepticism heavy in her voice.
"A white Supra with that terrible aftermarket body kit and the Rising Sun decal on the hood?" He makes a dismissive gesture. "Hard to miss. Hard to forget, unfortunately."
That description matches Kalo's car exactly; and the sick feeling in your stomach tells you he's not lying, as much as you'd like him to be.
"Well," you say, voice cooling by several degrees, "thanks for the information."
You turn to leave, disgusted at having your time wasted. First by Kalo's absence, now by this newcomer who clearly just wanted to get your attention. Another night, another waste.
"I'll pay you double what he owes you."
The words stop you mid-step.
You turn back slowly, measuring every movement.
"Excuse me?"
Jaque's expression hasn't changed, but something in his eyes has.
They’re gleaning.
"Fifty thousand yen, right? I'll make it a hundred." He says casually, like offering to buy a coffee. "If you beat me."
Maya makes a small sound beside you, something between a scoff and a laugh.
"And why would I race someone I don't know for money I don't need?"
You almost laugh. As if this is about the money. You were born into more yen than he’s ever seen—this is about respect. About principle. About owning your loss when someone beats you clean. No excuses. No saving face. Just bow your head and pay what you owe.
But he’s not done.
"Because you're curious." He says it like it's obvious. "Because you've been the best for nineteen months and you're bored. Because you want to know if I'm as good as they say."
"As good as who says?" You roll your eyes. "I've never heard of you before tonight."
"Then I must be doing something right." His smile shifts, becomes syrupy. "But if money doesn't motivate you, how about this—I win, I get to run with your crew. Race in your territory."
You can't help it—you laugh. Short and dismissive.
"That's not how this works. You don't just buy your way in." Your eyes flick to his car. "No matter how pretty your GT-R is."
"I'm not buying," he corrects, that accent slipping into his Japanese again. "I'm earning. Difference."
You narrow your eyes.
Maya leans close to your ear. "You're not seriously considering this?"
You should walk away. This guy is nobody. A newcomer with a nice car and too much confidence. The racing scene sees them every month. They come, they crash, they disappear.
But.
Something about the way he stands there, utterly certain of himself, gets under your skin.
Like he already knows your answer before you do.
And maybe it's the wasted night. Maybe it's two weeks of hunting Kalo with nothing to show for it. Maybe it's just the need to put someone in their place.
"One race," you hear yourself say.
Maya's head whips toward you in surprise.
"One race," you continue, "and when I win, you pay double what Kalo owes me, and you don't bother me again."
"And when I win," he counters, not missing a beat, "I race with your crew. Simple."
"If," you correct.
"When." He doesn't back down.
One calculated step closer brings his scent into focus. Leather, naturally, but beneath it something that doesn't compute. A scent that belongs to ryokan inns and meditation halls, not this arrogant foreigner.
Hinoki.
"You're awfully confident for someone who knows nothing about me or how I drive."
"And you're awfully defensive for someone who's supposedly unbeatable." His voice drops lower, meant for your ears only. "What are you afraid of, princesa?"
The Spanish word again. A barb. Challenging.
"Afraid?" You match his tone. "I'm trying to save you the embarrassment. And the money."
He laughs, so genuine that it catches you off guard. "So it's settled then. You and me. Tonight."
From the corner of your eye, you see Kenji approaching, drawn by the developing scene. Others are watching too.
Word travels fast in this world.
"Fine." You extend your hand, a formality in this world of verbal contracts. "My terms. My course."
He takes your hand. His grip is firm but not aggressive. Just right. His palm warm against yours.
"Your course," he agrees. "But I pick when."
You raise an eyebrow. "When, then?"
His smile widens, showing teeth. "Now."
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Death has a rhythm.
Tonight, it sounds like Daddy Yankee.
The mountain is yours—every curve, every shadow, every inch of guardrail. You've memorized each crack in the asphalt like the lines on your palm.
Yet as you sit at the starting line, engine purring, the midnight purple Skyline beside you blasts "Gasolina" loud enough to vibrate your windows.
He's not even looking at the road.
Jaque's got hand on the wheel, the other tapping the window frame in rhythm.
Kenji stands between the cars, arms raised.
You grip your steering wheel tighter.
Focus. Calculate. This is your mountain. Your rules.
"Ready!" Kenji shouts.
You check your gauges, settle into position, drop your breath rate. Your 86 is an extension of your body.
"Set!"
Jaque turns to you—actually turns his head away from the road—and winks.
Winks.
What the fuck is his problem?
Your jaw clenches so hard you hear teeth grinding.
"GO!"
You snap into the first gear immediately, launching forward as your tires bite into asphalt. Perfect traction. Perfect release. Your 86 shoots ahead exactly as calculated, exactly as it always does.
The Skyline stays even.
First corner approaches—tight right-hander with a nasty camber that catches amateurs by surprise. You brake at the perfect moment, downshift, feel the weight transfer as you clip the apex.
Textbook. Flawless. The corner you've taken hundreds of times.
The Skyline mirrors you exactly, staying in your blind spot. The bass from his music is still thumping through the night air.
Second corner. Third. Fourth. Each attack perfect, each line immaculate. And still, he's there. Not gaining, not falling behind. Just... present. Like a shadow you can't shake.
"What the hell is this guy playing at?" You mutter, taking the next hairpin with a controlled aggression that should give you an advantage.
Should.
Doesn't.
The Skyline follows, its midnight paint swallowing the moonlight instead of reflecting it. Through the next three corners, it continues—you lead, he follows, neither gaining ground.
Until the straightaway.
The road opens up, and you floor it. The 86 responds instantly, pushing you back into your seat. This is where your lighter weight should shine.
But the Skyline surges forward, twin-turbo engine unleashing a growl that slices the night.
He passes you.
Not aggressively. Not dangerously.
Just... efficiently.
Like it's the most natural thing in the world.
For the first time in nineteen months, you're staring at someone else's taillights.
"No fucking way."
You push harder, finding speed you rarely tap into. The gap closes slightly on the approach to the next corner—a sharp left with a cliff drop on the outside.
No guardrail. No room for error.
Normal people brake early here.
Jaque, as it turns out, is not normal people.
You don't brake until the last possible microsecond, throwing the 86 into the corner. The tires scream, traction at its absolute limit. You can feel them searching for grip, dancing on the edge of adhesion.
You exit the corner a car length behind him.
"Come on!" You slam the gearshift, pushing for more.
The next section is technical—five corners in quick succession. Your territory.
It's where precision matters more than power.
You close the gap. Corner by corner, inch by inch. Three more and you're on his bumper. Close enough to see his fingers still tapping against the frame slightly to the rhythm.
The next hairpin is your chance. The inside line is risky—there's barely enough room—but it's your mountain.
You know exactly how much space you need.
You dive for the gap.
For one beautiful moment, you're alongside him. Equal. Your front bumper inches past his door.
Then he does something impossible.
Instead of defending the line—instead of doing what any rational driver would do—Jaque throws his car into a drift so aggressive it sends the back end swinging wide, nearly touching the guardrail.
The move creates an arc that cuts you off, forces you to brake or crash.
You brake.
The maneuver costs him speed, should give you another chance to pass on exit.
But before you can capitalize, he's already accelerating out of the drift, the Skyline's all-wheel drive finding traction where none should exist.
"What the actual—"
The move was insane. Suicidal. The kind of thing that ends with twisted metal and sirens.
And he pulled it off like he was parallel parking.
For the final stretch—three corners and the last straightaway—you throw caution aside. Push beyond limits you usually respect. The 86 responds, giving everything it has.
It's not enough.
The Skyline crosses the finish line two car lengths ahead. You slam your palm against the steering wheel.
The taste of defeat is metallic in your mouth, foreign and despised.
You bring the 86 to a hard stop, tires protesting at the sudden deceleration.
The music still pounds from his car. That same goddamn song.
You throw open your door, adrenaline and anger propelling you forward. The cool mountain air hits your flushed face as you storm toward his car.
Because that last move? It wasn't just reckless—it was deadly. The kind of stunt that gets people killed on these mountains.
Words build in your throat. Sharp words. Words about respect for the mountain and death wishes and arrogance.
His door swings open as you approach. The music blasts louder without the barrier of glass and metal. He slides out with that same casual grace you saw when he called you princesa, when he winked before accelerating.
And something stops the words in your throat.
He shakes his head slightly, dark hair falling across his eyes before he pushes it back with one smooth motion. His other hand remains on the Skyline's roof, some golden ring catching the moonlight.
When he turns to face you, there's no triumph in his expression. No arrogance.
Just... satisfaction.
Like he's found something he's been looking for.
His eyes meet yours across the short distance. That smile appears again—not the cocky smirk from earlier, but something more genuine. Lips curved just slightly at the corners.
"Thanks for the adrenaline rush, mami," he says, voice carrying over the pounding beat of Daddy Yankee.
You've never hated Spanish music more in your life.
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goal: 500 notes
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ohcorny · 4 months ago
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How I Made the Colors in Hunger's Bite So Good
first of all: buy my book. buy it and look at the colors. (if you cannot buy the book, ask for it at your local library or i GUESS you can look at these spreads i posted)
we're gonna talk about colors, but more specifically we're going to talk about overlays. if you're an artist you are probably familiar with overlays. we love our overlays. we love to color a picture and then at the very last minute go 'hm. looks bad. i'm going to put a yellowish overlay on it to make it look less bad :)'
do not do this.
i mean you can, and it'll work sometimes, but all you're really doing is tricking your brain into thinking different is better. you've been staring at the image for potentially several hours. none of the choices you made at the beginning mean anything to you anymore. you're just finishing what you started. one of the big reasons you might look at your art and go 'man, this doesn't look that good' is because You drew it and are intimately familiar with it. you know all the flaws and mistakes because You made them and You know what your vision was. one of the great frustrations with art is that the piece in your head doesn't look like something you actually made. you want it to look like somebody else did it, so you can enjoy it as a viewer, not as the creator.
so when you put that overlay on, and suddenly the image looks very different, your brain will go 'this doesn't look like the thing i've been staring at for 2-3 hours! this is different! now it's good!'
and again, sometimes it Is good. but do you actually understand why it's good? or is it just different?
okay so what am i supposed to do smart guy
i'm glad you asked. the trick to making overlays work is to have them on from the start. this requires knowing what mood you want to convey in your scene from the very beginning. hopefully you know what mood you want to convey. you do, right? and i don't just mean happy or sad, i also mean safe, threatened, familiar, strange, soft and harsh. blue is not always sad. green is not always healthy. yellow/orange are not the only way to convey a companionable warmth.
okay did you pick the mood? do you have an idea of what color you want to use to represent that mood? great. i'm gonna use blue to convey the cool, clean white of a ship's maintenance corridor without making things literally white. and i'm going to stick in two characters whose color palettes consist of bright yellow, brown, and wine red. awesome. i definitely know how those colors would behave under blue lighting.
(here's the thing: no i don't.) this is where a gradient map correction layer comes in. i want my page to be Blue. alright. let's make a gradient map that's Blue.
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a gradient map is basically just A Gradient with specific colors connected to specific values. you have your darkest values on the left, and your lighter values on the right. at 100% opacity, this gradient map layer will read the value of anything below it and go 'okay this bit is this dark, so it should be This shade of blue. and this bit is this light, so it should be This shade of blue'.
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kind of like a hue or color layer except determined by a gradient rather than one color, so it could also go 'this is light, so it's green' and 'this is dark, so it's purple'. it's math. i don't really get it either. but anyway this is probably not what you want if you want your characters' palettes to be recognizable. emery's sweater is supposed to be a wine red! neeta's skin should be brown, and her shirt should be yellow. these are their Key Colors. generally, i want them to be recognizable. so let's lower that opacity down.
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nice! you can definitely now see that emery's sweater is red and neeta's shirt is yellow. and everything is relatively balanced. nothing is too saturated, nothing is significantly brighter than anything else. it's all got a little bit of blue in it. but i've skipped the step of actually picking your colors. because here's the thing with gradient maps.
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they hate you and want to fight. when working with gradient maps you must imagine there is a monkey sitting on your shoulder dumping paint in every time you pick a color. the monkey has a tube of blue and he is going to put that blue into everything you paint, but it's not normal paint. it doesn't mix, it overtakes. it won't turn something yellow into green, it will turn it blue. it wants everything to be blue. if you want something to look like the color it's supposed to be, you will have to make it extremely saturated under the layer to essentially fight the paint monkey's blue. hence, emery's sweater is a BRIGHT red, so it will look a little more purpley under the blue. and neeta's skin is very orange, so it can be dulled down into a soft brown.
this is the sort of thing you will have to learn by feel, because it will be different with every gradient map, especially if you start getting into weird ones that aren't monochromatic. you want to know one of my favorite maps to use?
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i have memorized where on the value scale all of these colors appear. i can color something using only shades of gray when i have this filter on. i am evolved. if you want to use gradient maps effectively, you'll have to get a lot of practice.
anyway this post got really long and i'm about to go to a movie so i'll talk about how to use screen/multiply/overlay layers later. but gradient maps are the main tool i used to make hunger's bite's palettes so unified across scenes. but you can see way above how they work to turn insane saturated colors into the nice harmonies--and the trick is that i'll never see those saturated colors while i'm working. because i have accepted the paint pouring monkey into my heart, and i trust him. except when i'm coloring wick's coat. holy mother of god every gradient map hated that man's purple coat.
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therealsaintscully · 3 months ago
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The year is 2025, and here I am, still very troubled about BBC Sherlock. Now, it's been a while since I wrote any Sherlock meta, but there's something that's been bugging me, and I’d love to get people’s input and thoughts.
I'm a screenwriter—not a professional one, but an autodidact. I haven’t had anything produced, but I have written several original screenplays. One of the most basic things you learn as a writer in general, and especially in screenwriting, is the concept of the character arc. It’s the art of starting a character off as one thing, taking them through a process of deconstruction or challenge, and letting them emerge as something different.
An exercise I enjoy is watching films or TV shows and analysing a character’s arc. I try to spot hints of how a character will change by the end of an episode, a season, or the entire series. That’s part of why I particularly love Michael Schur’s shows—Parks and Recreation, The Office, Brooklyn Nine-Nine. In the Michael Schur universe, character arcs are blatantly laid out for you in the pilot episode. There’s absolutely no need to philosophize or guess: the characters often state it themselves, or it’s clearly expressed through others.
Take, for example, Michael Scott.
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In the Office pilot, he’s genuinely a terrible boss and a trashcan of a person. But we’re immediately shown his arc via one simple prop: a coffee mug. “World’s Best Boss.” That’s his journey—to become that boss, if not in the world, then at least in Dunder Mifflin.
Or take Jake Peralta. In B99’s pilot, Terry introduces the squad to Captain Holt with:
“Jacob Peralta is my best detective — he likes putting away bad guys, and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn’t solved… is how to grow up.”
From that alone, you know where Jake is headed. By the end of the show, he’ll still be the squad’s best detective, but he’ll also be a grown-up: a dad, a partner, someone who takes his job seriously and earns the respect of his captain.
In the Parks and Rec original pilot script, Leslie outright declares that she’ll be America’s first female president. In the aired pilot, the message is softened a bit when Leslie says:
“You know, government isn’t just a boy’s club anymore. Women are everywhere. It’s a great time to be a woman in politics. Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, me.”
There it is: Leslie’s arc will involve her rising through the boys’ club of American politics and becoming a truly great public servant (and maybe—even if it’s never clearly stated—the first female president).
So now that I’ve set the scene a bit—understanding how a character arc is seeded in a pilot—let’s talk about Sherlock.
What are we told about John and Sherlock in the pilot that sets up their character arcs?
Let’s start with Sherlock, because that one is spoon-fed to the audience—by none other than Lestrade. In response to John’s question, “Why do you put up with him?”, Lestrade says:
“Because Sherlock Holmes is a great man. And I think, one day, if we’re very, very lucky, he might even be a good one.”
That’s it. That’s Sherlock’s arc. The writers are telling us outright: here’s a brilliant but emotionally disconnected man. And the journey ahead of him isn’t about intellect, but about goodness. About connection, humanity, compassion. Becoming not just great, but good. And, if I might add a bit of Johnlock, not just to anyone—but through John, with John, and ultimately because of John.
Now, John’s arc is a little less obvious in my opinion, though just as important—and it’s given to us by Mycroft, who says:
“You’re not haunted by the war, Dr. Watson—you miss it.”
To me, this says: here is a traumatized soldier who never fully came back from war. He’s unmoored, disconnected, half-alive. "Nothing ever happens to me." And the arc we should expect? A man who, over time, things happen to him and he finds peace. Who finds meaning in his civilian life—back in London, in friendship, in purpose, in (perhaps) love. Who, by the end of the series, no longer misses the war.
That’s the setup. That’s what we were promised. Or at the very least, that's what I feel I was promised.
Only… whatever I feel was promised never actually happened.
In fact, Sherlock ends up delivering the complete opposite. In Seasons 3 and 4, the show leans into Sherlock as a mythic, near-supernatural figure—the “adult who never was a child.” This directly contradicts the idea of humanising him. The sudden introduction of Eurus shifts the focus from internal growth to external spectacle. His evolution becomes a reaction to trauma, not a conscious transformation toward goodness.
By the end of The Lying Detective, Sherlock is still fundamentally isolated and emotionally unavailable. Despite supposedly learning to “connect,” he doesn’t share emotionally in any meaningful way—not with John, not with Eurus, not with Molly. The “I love you” scene is a puzzle to be solved, not a moment of genuine vulnerability. John and Sherlock’s confrontation at the end of TLD achieves absolutely nothing in terms of their openness or intimacy.
Sherlock's arc—of becoming a good man—is never achieved. Now, we can argue about that, because Sherlock is a softie at times. He is kind. And don’t get me wrong—when Michael Scott leaves Dunder Mifflin, he’s by no means a perfect boss. But he’s loved by Pam, he’s missed by Jim, and the Dunder Mifflin team has learned to respect him in their own way.
I know some of you are itching to shout that Sherlock's arc won't be complete without S5 and in theory, I agree! But! Lest we forget, Lestrade’s “prophecy” (supposedly) comes full circle in The Final Problem:
"No, he’s better than that. He’s a good one."
This, supposedly, is the great moment of The Payoff. Here stands Sherlock, A Good Man™.
Which… always makes me scratch my head.
Is he, Lestrade? Really? What is it, exactly, in those last few days that convinces you of that? What moment between The Six Thatchers and The Final Problem gives you that impression?
Nothing. Really—nothing. This, for me, is absolutely zero character arc payoff.
Now, what about John—who was supposed to come back from the war, or at most, get his adrenaline kicks chasing criminals with Sherlock through the streets of London?
Mary’s death completely hijacks John's growth as a character. Rather than showing John finding stability in his marriage and family (or with Sherlock, in whatever shape that takes), the show strips it all away. And worse, it distances him from Sherlock once more—throwing him into another spiral of guilt and rage, effectively rebooting his trauma rather than resolving it.
The finale gives John no closure. We don’t know where John is emotionally by the end of The Final Problem. Is he at peace? Are we supposed to believe that a happy montage fixes everything? Does he still crave danger? Does he still feel violent impulses toward Sherlock?
I can’t even begin to think when or how Mycroft’s seed of John’s arc—“you miss the war”—comes full circle in The Final Problem. Unlike Lestrade’s line about Sherlock, there’s nothing that brings that theme to any kind of resolution. It’s as though Moftiss forgot to give John a conclusion altogether.
I’ve sometimes wondered if Sherlock’s words to John in TLD—“We might all just be human”—were meant to gesture at John’s arc. But… why would it?
John never struggled to understand that he was human. That wasn’t his arc. That wasn’t his flaw. He knew he was human and he always craved for that humanity from Sherlock. So what, then, was that line supposed to resolve?
I can play devil's advocate here. Character arcs can be negative. A character doesn't always have to have a happy ending, and had Moftiss boldly done that, I would have appreciated it. But they hadn't- they give us a weird ass montage with John and Sherlock happily giggling at Rosie. It's just feels like there's absolutely no conclusion for John, whether negative or positive.
Adding insult to injury, Mary’s 'speech' during the final montage is actually dismissive of their "growth":
“There are two men sitting arguing in a scruffy flat. Like they’ve always been there, and always will.”
Which completely negates the idea that they’ve changed. At that point, they’re not like they’ve always been. John's quite possibly worse than when we met him.
“The best and wisest men I have ever known.”
Again—what’s with the John erasure? Let’s say, for the sake of argument, Sherlock is better now—what makes him wise? And John’s arc was never about becoming wise, so what does that even mean?
“My Baker Street boys.”
Are they? Are they still the Baker Street boys (I hate that nickname)? We’re never told if John and Rosie move back in. In fact, in a Q&A Moftiss declare John does not return to Baker Street.
And that’s just it, isn’t it?
The Final Problem finale doesn’t fail because it was mysterious or ambiguous or hilariously bad or tragic. It fails because it abandons the emotional contract it made with its viewers in the very first episode. It forgets the arcs it promised, the healing it hinted at, the people these characters were meant to become.
We didn't need a happy ending. But we did need a real one.
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centaurianthropology · 1 month ago
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Therapy for Thee but Not for Me: Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms in ‘Murderbot’ (Thoughts on Episodes 1-3)
Having now watched the third episode of ‘Murderbot’, I came away with two impressions: the first is that this is a better show as a binge.  Maybe I’m too used to shows that are an hour long, but I feel like I’ve only just got sunk into an episode when it ends.  But with a binge, I can just move onto the next, and the emotional through-line feels more well-drawn.
Spoilers below the cut.
The second thing is that I think this was really the final wrap episode for the introduction.  We finally get an explanation for why PresAux is not only doing this survey, but aren’t willing to ditch it at the first sign of danger (honestly needed, if we’re going to flesh them and Preservation out further).  And I really like the explanation provided! The notion that there is a bit more dissent in Preservation than we’ve seen in the books is welcome.  Because of course there are some people there who are short-sighted, greedy, or simply ignorant enough to decide that the glamor and faux-prosperity of the Corporation Rim is more attractive than a planetary commune with constant resource struggles. Of course some people buy the propaganda and believe that the Corporation Rim is truly existing in a golden age that Preservation should be lucky to join. That happens in every society, no matter how well it’s doing. It is human nature to want what you don’t have, and to always want more. 
And it’s a great motivation to explain why Mensah and her friends go to this planet, and then stay there even in the face of danger. It both establishes stakes and establishes this group as true believers in Preservation ideals.   They are the most dedicated to the Preservation way of life, whether they were raised in that environment or are a recent convert. 
We also get a little more time with a few underserved characters, particularly Ratthi and Bharadwaj, while elaborating on characters with more onscreen time like Mensah and Gurathin.  I’d still like to spend more time with Pin-Lee and Arada, but I feel like that’s coming soon enough.  I had thought the plot would really kick off in this episode, and in some ways it did (a whole lot of ‘All Systems Red’ was covered in this one episode, plot-wise), but it also felt like the last moment of early-static-state for these characters. 
And a huge part of that early static state is really hammering home how every character does (and doesn’t) deal with mounting stress.  This, like the books, is a show centering emotion.  In the books, it was almost exclusively Murderbot’s emotions, but here we see Murderbot as a part of a tapestry of emotion, one person amongst an ensemble it has not yet accepted that it’s a part of.  And as it has poor coping mechanisms, that just puts it in excellent company with this group of humans with fuck-awful coping mechanisms. 
So before we get into the meat of the action and, I suspect, meet our mystery additional character next episode (who I now suspect might be a ‘Company rep’ or something), I wanted to talk about the coping mechanisms (bad and good) everyone is rocking, and the arcs I suspect they’re setting up.
MURDERBOT: ESCAPISM
Let’s start with everyone’s favorite SecUnit.  Episode 3 really drove home how escapist and purposefully detached Murderbot is at this point in the story.  It is actively resisting caring or connection, wanting to escape every interaction or responsibility to sink into the comfort of its shows. 
Not surprisingly, and paralleling the book, this is setting up the arc of caring.  Next episode will probably feature Mensah saving it from the other SecUnit, and the shocking (for it) realization that she is willing to risk herself to save it.  This is the major turning point in their relationship, and in its understanding of people.  At this moment in episode 3, we are really seeing the last active resistance to this: it doesn’t think of itself as a person.  It doesn’t want to hear what Mensah has to say about her worries or her fears.   I know some people have seen this scene as trauma-dumping, but I didn’t read that at all into that scene.  Rather, I saw Mensah trying to make a connection.  She has decided that Gurathin is wrong: this SecUnit is a person, and it has emotions and thoughts and feelings.  And as she stares down the barrel of a very bad situation, she is trying to make it care.  She is reaching out, explaining her fears because she wants it to see her and her friends as people.  She wants it to understand why they can’t just back out, can’t turn tail at the first sign of danger.  She is trying to forge a connection.
And Murderbot isn’t there yet.  It’s avoidant, angrier in this episode than it was before, it’s on edge after both Ratthi and Gurathin seem convinced that it’s more than just an ordinary SecUnit.  It knows it’s not faking being an ordinary SecUnit well, and it wants out. 
And more than that, it is self-soothing the anger and the resentment and the fear that defines its existence at this point with its shows.  I think it’s interesting that, instead of ‘Sanctuary Moon’, this episode introduces us to a much grimmer show, ‘Strife in the Galaxy’, which explicitly shows constructs like SecUnit being tortured (although it points out that this doesn’t seem particularly realistic) and stressing their own struggles and individuality.  And it considers this an inferior show.  Why?  Because it cannot imagine doing that.  At this point it can’t imagine being as defiant as the (ComfortUnits??) constructs in the show.  It’ll enjoy the unrealistic aspects of ‘Sanctuary Moon’, but I get the feeling that the unrealism of ‘Strife’ strikes a little too close to home to be good quality escape.
But it keeps watching.  Because if it keeps just burying itself in media, it never needs to care.  It never needs to feel deeper, more complicated, more dangerous emotions about real people who could be in real danger.  It can just … exist, comfortably numb, and bide its time.  For what?  Unclear, probably even to Murderbot. Carin will be thie thing that motivates it out of this static state, but that is terrifying, and it is resisting that with every single minute of entertainment it’s downloaded. 
DR. MENSAH and PROF. BHARADWAJ: AVOIDANCE
These two feel like parallel characters right now. They’re both older women, both feel a weight of responsibility, and both feel like they’re doing the same thing: pretend everything is fine, act strong when everyone else can see you (and rely on you), offer help wherever you can, fall apart only when you’re safely alone.
They tackle it differently.  Mensah is, to her team, the consummate professional.  We see her fears and doubts only through SecUnit’s spyware or because she’s chosen to talk to it late at night when everyone else is asleep.  And why did she choose that?
I’ve seen some people, as I mentioned, say that she was trauma dumping.  But I read this as an attempt to reach out to the only other person, in her mind, who was sort of in her same position.  Because they were both being relied on by everyone else.  Because if they faltered, everything could fall apart.  I read her talk with Murderbot as a way of expressing how much this mission actually means to all of them, why it matters, why it might even matter to their SecUnit, and I genuinely think she was hoping for it to share its own fears and struggles in return.  She wasn’t dumping; she was opening up in an incredibly vulnerable way to a person that at least one of her friends thinks is a potential spree killer.  But she looks at this person, and she sees someone in a similar position of responsibility, equally unable to share its frustrations and fears. Reaching out was a risk. She knows it’s spying on them. But she also believes that it is more that was it was built to be, so it was worth the risk to try to connect on a deeper level.
And it still can’t reach back.  She’s left wanting.  Like everyone elose in the episode, she fails at dealing with the stress well. She does the best of all of them, in my estimation, but she still fails, because at this point in the story they all need to fail. They all need a hole they can climb out of.
Bharadwaj certainly isn’t doing any better.  She, like Mensah, is holding it together by her fingernails.  But while Mensah has the leader persona she wraps around herself, Bharadwaj has jokes and energy and exuberance.  She has an indomitable spirit, right up until there’s no one to perform for.
And then she breaks down crying, and who wouldn’t?  She almost died.  She, of everyone, was the closest to just suddenly losing everything, and how do you process that?  How do you deal with the sudden and undeniable reality of your own mortality shoved so brutally in your face?  Of course she’s not dealing well.  And of course she, like Mensah—like everyone else who wants to be there for their friends and never let them know how much they themselves might need help in turn, like everyone else who is used to being the strong, steady, reliable, fun one—ends up hiding it.  And Gurathin stumbles into it, but he can barely process his own trauma, let alone anyone else’s.  He tries to reach out as best he can, and it’s not what she needs, and it fails them both.  There is a surprising level of tragedy underling this episode that creeps out slowly on viewing it again.  I really appreciate that, as on-the-nose as the writing can seem, this show is actually working at several different levels, and Bharadwaj trying and failing to deal with the sudden and immense trauma she’s experienced is one of them.
I think both Mensah and Bharadwaj are being set up for arcs of being able to accept help as well as give it. Mensah’s biggest struggle in the books is even admitting to those she loves that she’s not doing well mentally, and I think we’ll see echoes of that here. Bharadwaj ends up as more or less Murderbot’s therapist (while couching it in ‘making a documentary’), and while I’m not sure it’ll play out precisely in that format, I want to see them all connecting on that level. The human characters act as mirrors for Murderbot, and both Mensah and Bharadwaj are just as avoidant of their trauma as Murderbot is in its way, and just like it, they are going to fail to keep it all together. They are going to have to reach out, but that won’t be weakness. Acknowledging their needs, their fears, their broken parts to those they love will eventually help them mend those broken bits in ways they never could have managed alone.
DR. ARADA, PIN-LEE, AND DR. RATTHI: PHYSICAL COMFORT WHILE IGNORING THE EMOTIONS UNDERLYING EVERYTHING
It doesn’t surprise me that the ill-advised throuple is all about trying for physical comfort while ignoring the fact that this comfort is built on quicksand.  One thing this episode really nails is that this arrangement was built on shaky ground, and they can all feel it but none of them are directly discussing it. I feel like this relationship is serving as a metaphor for all their myriad issues of dependence, distrust, poor communication, and an inability to simply discuss contradictory needs.
Pin-Lee has been hiding innocuous things like their video game habits from their wife (likely because they think Arada wouldn’t approve of them playing violent video games).  Arada is trying to fill relationship troubles with a third person, hoping things work out better than the last time, all while clearly not addressing the root issues she and Pin-Lee are facing.  And Ratthi, forever happy to be here, is ignoring the fact that his presence in this arrangement is both more complicated and less helpful than he might hope. 
I also like that we can contrast this disaster trio with Mensah’s clearly stable, clearly long-term, clearly loving arrangement with her marital partners.  Because they might not have wanted her to go, but they still love and support her.  They still have seven children together, whose picture acts as the centerpiece to her room.  If the show goes on for more seasons, we’ll certainly see more of Mensah’s family, but it’s nice to establish the norm of multiple marriages in Preservation society this early, and how healthy and stable they are, especially in light of the disaster throuple that is Arada, Ratthi, and Pin-Lee.
I love Ratthi’s self-doubts in this episode, because I think it highlights how much he’s trying to use his friendliness, his supportiveness, his Golden-Retriever-of-a-Man-ness to cover his self-doubt and even flavors of self-loathing.  There is clearly a lot about himself he doesn’t quite like, that he struggles with.  He is naturally sociable, naturally flirty.  He loves a good time, loves to trust people, and (if he’s true to his book counterpart), loves to love all different sorts of people.  But he struggles with commitment.  He struggles to live up to the standards he’s setting for himself.  So he’s too hungover to do weapons training.  He’s too eager to get the survey equipment and almost runs into danger.  He so earnestly wants to be there for everyone, so of course having sex with his friends seems like a great idea.  After all, for him, sex and friendship go together great.  I don’t really think he’s yet dug into the fact that Pin-Lee and Arada are sort of using him to paper over the cracks in their own foundation, and I’m interested to see how he reacts to realizing that’s the case.
His arc is a little difficult to see right now, but I imagine it’s going to be someting about finding himself. He’s a great guy; he’s eventually going to be SecUnit’s best friend. But who is he when he’s not being what everyone else needs? Who is Ratthi just on his own? I hope we (and maybe he) get to know that.
Pin-Lee has a little more definition to them after this episode, and I hope we keep getting more.  They’ve been built up quietly in the background, doing a lot of necessary plot work because it fits their personality rather than their job. They’re the one analyzing the satellite data for patterns in the outages, and this tells the audience a lot about their need for everything to make sense and fit neatly. They are a lover of patterns and order.  They are almost certainly the one who pushed for the throuple contract (because of course Pin-Lee needs a contract).  They see offering up another throuple as a means to fix things that frankly need honest discussions, but a contract is easier than a discussion, and one discussion may lead to another.
It’s clear Pin-Lee loves their wife, but seems to fear their wife doesn’t love them nearly as much. So they hide parts of themself they think Arada might find objectionable. They blunt their edges. I think a lot of Pin-Lee’s arc is going to be shifting further into the Pin-Lee from the books as they gain confidence. But that requires them to work through their issues with their wife. It requires trust rather than contract, accepting that they won’t always see the patterns and have control, and being okay with that. I wasn’t sure about combining Pin-Lee and Overse at first, but the more I look at it, the more interesting of an arc has been set up for this character, going from an amalgamation with more Overse into more of a book-true Pin-Lee, specifically by embracing many things Pin-Lee struggles with. 
Arada is the mystery to me right now.  She’s very caring, very focused on being kind and fair.  She’s the one who first has clearly decided that SecUnit is a person.  She’s the one who insists that the worm that tried to eat her was simply an animal doing what animals do.  She’s the one who makes certain people are validated, supported, given gifts of embroidery and windchimes.  She’s the heart of the group in many ways.
But who is she beneath the care?  I feel like we haven’t gotten to know her as well as the others quite yet, and I really want to learn more about her perspective.  She brings a great, solid base of caring to the equation, but she can also clearly blind herself to her own more selfish impulses. There isn’t a deliberately selfish or cruel bone in her body, but there is a part of her that happily believes that if she wants something, her spouse wants it too. If Pin-Lee doesn’t openly object, then Pin-Lee is trilled to be a part of whatever Arada wants. It’s a very ordinary, human flaw, to overlook someone else’s discomfort in your own excitement.
I want to see that dug into, more explored.  I want all the awkward, painful bits of Arada to come out the same as we’re getting for the others.  Of everyone, I feel like her shitty coping mechanisms are perhaps the least defined, and I am eager to see them laid bare. I think her arc has yet to take shape, and I am eager to know where she’s going.
DR. GURATHIN: HYPERVIGILANCE AND HYPERCOMPETENCE
Oh boy, the king of shitty coping mechanisms came into fairly sharp focus in this episode, didn’t he?  He only really got three scenes, being kept on base with Bharadwaj, but each of them hits hard for different reasons.  His argument with Mensah about going to DeltFall drives home his hypervigilance, and how it turns him inward to the point of paranoia and bringing out his own worst impulses. 
He is fiercely protective of this group of friends, these very few people who he cares about, and is willing to do some fairly shitty things to keep them safe. And even so, everything feels like it’s slipping out of his control (and he needs to be useful, and he needs to have control).  His better nature can still be reached, particuarly by Mensah who is still able to talk him down. This episode makes it clear how much he puts Mensah on a pedestal as The Best Person (it’s funnily enough similar to what Murderbot does after ‘All Systems Red’ in the books).  So he caves, and she and the team leave, and he’s left alone with Bharadwaj. Does he think it’s a good idea? No. Does it matter? Not really, but also on a personal level it matters very much, because it leaves him in a position to stew in his own insecurities and fears. And he’s got more than his fair share of both.
In the scene with Bharadwaj we see his second major coping mechanism: the need to be useful.  He can’t talk to her about her experiences.  He doesn’t understand them and is painfully fucking awkward at the best of times, and he knows it.  But he offers up the trauma modules he has that clearly helped him at least a little.  It’s what he’s got, and it’s what he’s comfortable offering a friend in need.
She turns him down.  And this triggers his final scene in the show, and one that plays on multiple layers.  The first layer is SecUnit’s layer, the one we’re presented when we listen to and believe its voiceover, and that is that he’s being creepy.  He’s going into Mensah’s room without her permission; he looks at the photo of her kids and he smells her pillow.  That’s creepy, right?  Right?
But if you watch the scene on mute, without the color commentary, it feels a lot more like a poor attempt at self-soothing in the face of a breakdown.  Gurathin’s backstory is not very clear at this point, but I think it’s safe to assume his relationship with his parents is a far cry from Mensah’s loving family.  So there is comfort in seeing the photo of her children (and if he and Mensah have been friends for six years, he probably knows the kids at least a little).  He’s clinging to this ideal of Mensah as what he wants to be, as much as he has a crush on her: to him she’s competent, caring, effortlessly balancing the needs of everyone.  She’s a good mother, a good friend, a good leader.
And in the face of the fear of losing her, of losing all his friends to unknown and uncontrollable dangers, he falls apart.  In this place where he maybe feels just a little safe, he completely collapses. It’s not pretty and it’s not great and it’s absolutely bordering on inappropriate.  Yes, it sure does look like he smell her pillow (not great, even if she never finds out), but after that he mostly just shatters.  He’s sobbing by the end of the scene, and the narration just doesn’t quite notice it, and because the audience can’t hear it, it’s easy to miss.  There is an enormous disconnect between what SecUnit thinks is happening in that moment (tawdry, one-dimensional creeping) and what is actually happening (understandable, still inappropriate, badly maladaptive, but deeply human breakdown). 
He, like Bharadwaj, is having his coping mechanisms fail him.  He’s not useful.  He’s hypervigilant to the point of paranoia, and it’s NOT HELPING.  It could easily drive a wedge between him and his friends and he can’t help it because it’s what he knows how to do.  He protects what little he cares about.  There is an obvious ruthless, selfish streak to him that remains from the Corporation Rim and whatever was done to him there (and the more hints we get, the more sense we get that it was BAD). 
Interestingly, I’m not sure where Gurathin’s arc is headed. He’s one of the best developed characters at this point, but it’s all not great. He’s got a lot of room to grow, but in what direction? I’m not sure, and I’m honestly excited that I’m not sure. It makes more of a mystery, trying to figure out what the writers are planning on doing with him aside from making him a narrative foil for Muderbot.
CONCLUSIONS
I really like that the show is being bold in its choices to show the uglier, more maladaptive sides of these people. I like that it’s trying, with only about twenty minutes an episode, to actually make them believable people having believable responsives to an incredibly difficult situation.
That’s what I ended up really taking away from this continuation of the series, after watching it back to back to back with the previous two: we now have an idea of most of these characters’ stress responses, how good or often bad they are.  They are all so eager (except SecUnit) to help one another, but they are all trying desperately to hide how much they need help.  They are kind and caring, but still painfully human. 
With Mensah reaching out to SecUnit, with the first tentative attempt to make it care, I think we as the audience have also been positioned to see these people as their own raw selves, and to learn to embrace them, to care, just as much as Murderbot will begin to care about them.
I am still really liking this show.  I still want to see where it’s going.  If anything, I wish that each episode was just a few minutes longer, because a lot of moments are surprisingly subtle, undermining the narration, and acting as contrast to the way SecUnit currently perceives the world.  Would it be better if those moments had a bit longer to breathe, or is their subtelty and the need to watch the show a few times to catch everything part of the charm?
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