#only problem is i just want to write personal rants about my thoughts and experiences. things people don't care about or will get mad at🤣

[autisticlee]

so many christian conservatives that hate/criticize science and don't believe in it because "it's not always right/it always changes/they don't know for sure/there's no solid proof/etc" sure do love to believe in their magical sky daddy they never saw with their own eyes but swear is real, just because mommy and daddy and the old bald man at church had told them this since they were babies.

just like much of the scientific theories they're talking about, this god also has no actual solid proof. no one knows for absolute sure that this magical being exists, or anything in the bible actually happened. this god, his son, and every other religious figure could be nothing more than a character in an ancient fictional fantasy novel the ancient people wrote for fun because they had nothing better to do. some say there's proof the "person" existed. but there's no proof they performed magic or had magical things happen to them. maybe the readers got so engrossed and obsessed that it took on this religious culture that persisted for centuries. (imagine if the twilight series took on this form and a religion about worshiping vampires emerged and people a few centuries from now though bella and edward are their original, very real existing, saviors and everyone worships them hoping to become a vampire. I remember seeing articles that thar series started getting religious cults around it. don't know if it was true of just male journalists hating that teenage girls enjoyed something —let's be honest, it was probably that.)

but if you say those things to conservatives, that there's no proof, that it could be nothing more than an ancient fantasy novel, they get so upset and defensive. they won't admit it. they come up with excuses. they turn around and point fingers instead. at least the science they hate for "having no proof" or being proven wrong always admits when it's wrong and is always trying to disprove *itself* in order to find the truth. it's based on theory and everyone should have learned about that in school, so i won't explain it. science, in general, is the study of trying to prove and disprove theories and gain evidence needed to reach a truth. it's ongoing. even these truths are usually accepted as things that can still expand and get rewritten as we learn more.

yet most christian conservatives are often over there saying those bad things about science, which actually realistically applies better to their sky daddy and his son's story. even the meanings of their bible change depending on the language/translation and who's interpreting it, with no solid proof one way or another. their religion is very stagnant. they have forbidden questioning it. they know it won't hold if you do.

they can't believe in science because there is never any concrete evidence, and scientists never know for sure....... yet at the same time, though they won't admit it, they truly don't even know if their magical god exists up in the clouds for sure. all they do is "believe" but "belief" is not proof, no matter how much they try telling you it is. but,,,,it only is if it's directed at their god. if it's belief in anything science? "no, you're brainwashed! it's all fake!"

they preach to you from a kid that you need to blindly believe and if you question it or don't believe hard enough, you get sent to hell to suffer. you're not allowed to think or choose for yourself! but they try really hard to make it look and feel like you're "choosing" it. it sounds very brainwashy to me. it FELT very brainwashy as a kid experiencing this, being foeced to go to church 2-3 times a week and a catholic school for 11 years. it's truly the opposite of what most conservatives preach and rant about. they're all about ~individualism and not being a sheep and free speech and freedom of choice~ and whatever else they yell about that is generally the opposite of how they actually live, lead, and raise their young.

science doesn't do that to you. science is more forgiving. if you dont believe, go prove it wrong! yet they claim scientists are trying to "brainwash" everyone; if you listen to and believe science, you are being "brainwashed." but *they* aren't. no. they're definitely not brainwashed by their big benevolent sky daddy and his magical story book, who threatens to strike them down into the pits of hell to suffer if they get even the smallest inkling of questioning or doubt in their tiny brains.

hypocrites they are!

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: 8:45 PM 🔞

Tags/Warnings: Adult, smut-heavy, making out, Idol!Jungkook, Fluff, Established Relationship, implied foreigner!Reader, not home AU though, Jungkook struggling hard, misunderstanding, angst with happy end, emotional smut, oral (fem. Receiving), protected sex bc this is me writing this and I teach you kids the true life lessons

Lenght: long.

AU-Masterlist

Languages are marked as English / Korean.

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He still can't believe your first time got interrupted by something as ridiculous as his manager calling him.

It's like a reminder that his career will always somehow wiggle itself between him and whatever happiness he tries to find outside of it- nothing ever truly personal for him, everything always meant to be well thought through so it fits into his public persona.

But he refuses to give you up, even knowing all of that.

Apologizing for it just feels.. odd now, like bringing up something awkward you did ten years ago that everyone forgot about anyway before you decided to rekindle the memory in their heads. But the problem here, right now, with you, is that he knows he should bring it up. Somehow. Because he's struggling hard to keep himself in check, even having had to embarrassingly rub one out in the shower this morning after you'd made yourself tea in his kitchen wearing nothing but a shirt and panties.

It's a problem.

He's hesitating to initiate anything now mainly because what if it happens again? He can't just put his phone on silent and ignore what could potentially always be very important calls from people who only want what's best for him in the long run- real life doesn't work like those movies where the protagonist throws it all away for his girl. He wants to, he truly does- but at the end of the day, he's also scared, because if he falls, he'll potentially take you down with him, and God knows how deep he'll fall with where he stands right now.

A drop from a height this high would shatter you inevitably, and he's sure he'd crack like delicate porcelain just as much by having to watch you suffer the consequences of his actions. You don't deserve that.

"..-ungkookie?" You try again, and he snaps out of his thought, looking at you.

"Hm?" He responds, looking at you next to him.

"I asked if you want me to cook for us tonight. Is that alright?" You wonder, and he nods, eagerly so, because of course he'd love to have you do something so domestic with him. He's always dreamed of being able to experience these things after all, despite his curse of being a public figure who's not supposed to appear unavailable. "Alright-!" You hum. "Gonna have to put pants on now though, gotta go get some groceries.." you whine under your breath as you stretch on the couch naked feet pushing against his thighs and oh, how your back arches-

No, bad brain. Not right now.

"I'll give you my card, hold on." He tries to save himself, getting up to fetch his wallet as you begin to laugh.

"Jungkook baby, I can cover some groceries, don't bother!" You argue softly, getting up as well before walking over to him. "You'll just have to survive some minutes without me, that's all." You tell him, hugging his middle as you put your chin on his chest, looking up at him. "Also, people would think I'm a gold digger for using a black card looking like.. well, me." You joke, as he can't help but reach out to affectionately brush some hair out your face, hands holding your cheeks.

"M'sorry." He mumbles, and you part a bit from him, serious at his tone of voice used.

"Hm? For what?" You wonder, and he sighs. Why did he bring it up now? This is going to be so awkward, he already dreads it. But now that he's put the noose around his neck, he might as well stand on the chair too.

"Yesterday. Or.. day before? Technically it was, wasn't it.." he rants, before sighing. "I hate that we.. had moment, you know, and then.. nothing. Ruined." He complains softly, and you can't help but look at him affectionately. He's such a soft soul sometimes, worries about so much that doesn't even need to be worried about.

"Jungkook, it's fine." You answer.

"Not fine-" he shakes his head. "Not fine, I- ugh, I want you, you know? Want to, but now, it's awkward and I don't know how to initiate it because every time I plan to I keep thinking of that moment he called and-" he groans in frustration, head thrown back before he looks down at you. "I'm sorry." He apologizes yet again, and you laugh.

"I forgot to pack socks for this trip, that's why I'm always barefoot in your apartment here." You say, and he blinks once, twice, before he looks at you, confused but amused the same.

"What?" He questions, tilting his head for a split second and you shrug.

"Now I've made an awkward moment for myself too. We're even." You explain, and he laughs.

"Thats not how that works-" he wants to argue but he inevitably leans down to kiss you- a peck quickly deepened by you, because God knows you want him just as much. But the struggle of initiating isn't solely his alone, because you don't know how to either. All is still new with your relationship, you don't even live together at this point in time, only a week more and you'll be back home trying to figure out how to move most of your stuff to his country so you can be closer. This was all a test, after all- to see if it's worth it. If you'll be okay.

And you know now, you'll be just fine with him at your side.

"Hm I need to get going now though-" you say, trying to escape him now- but he won't let you, hands firm on the small of your back as he keeps you against him, lips chasing yours making you giggle as you lean back as far as you can. "Jungkook!" You laugh, but he just playfully bites at your neck.

"No, I'm hungry." He mumbles against your skin, and you look at him, pushing against his chest.

"Yeah that's why I have to go? Get everything to cook?" You remind him, but he shakes his head, gaze making it clear that he doesn't care for that.

"Not.. that." He tells you. "Hungry for you." He says, raising his brows and you laugh at how ridiculous he's being. How can he be both so cute but also attractive at the same time? It's truly unfair.

"You're so cute." You tease, catching him off guard to escape his grasp and run into the bedroom to get some proper pants at least. But he's faster, palm slapping flat against the wood of his door before the momentum of his move slams it into the wall with a loud noise, making both of you jump for a second before he stalks towards you.

And once the backs of your legs hit the edge of his bed, you know you lost.

It's like his patience had finally snapped, his hands eagerly helping you out of his shirt, happily running his palms over your skin, warm and soft as you move around a bit to get comfortable. He sighs when his phone vibrates somewhere close- probably having fallen out of his pocket on the couch earlier, and you laugh, visibly uncaring of his misery. "Go get it." You tell him when it sounds again, and he groans out loudly as if he's in pain, angrily stomping back into the living room, where you can hear him answer the call with an annoyed tone to his voice. It surprises you when he walks back into the bedroom however, pointing to the shirt you're attempting to put back on, before he motions for you to put it back on the floor where he'd thrown it down earlier.

Just what is he thinking right now?

"Yeah, that's fine." He talks into the phone, his free hand untying the strings of your sweatpants, before he pulls on the hem, tapping your hips as if to silently ask you to lift them so he can get you out of those pants. "Not right now, but tomorrow is fine." He continues to talk to whomever is speaking to him over the phone, while simultaneously running his hand from the side of your knee, up to the hem of your underwear, the last item of clothing covering you at the moment. It's oddly exciting to see him so serious, yet clearly more focused on you than anything else.

You've never felt so adored before.

His fingers slip underneath the side of your panties, teasing you, so close yet way too far from where you'd like his hands to be most right now. And he's clearly aware of it too; if the hooded eyes and the small smirk on his lips was anything to go by. "No, right now.. I'm pretty busy. Sorry." He speaks again into the phone, thumb running over the dip between your inner thigh and your by now more than aching heat. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip for a second, before the whole thing visibly seems to edge him just as much- then tent in his pants evident.

"Alright, yeah, just- text the schedule to me and I'll talk to you tomorrow about it, okay?" He offers into the phone, moving to stand up and search for something in the drawer of his bedside table- colorful foil package pretty obviously hinting at what he means when he's said he's currently busy. "Alright, hmhm, yup- bye." He rushes out, ending the call before he throws his phone somewhere onto the shirt you'd been wearing, his eyes rolling in an annoyed manner before he takes off his own shirt, joining you on the bed.

"Did you really hang up on him like that?" You wonder, giggling when he has to sit back to slip out of his loose grey sweats as well, jumping on one foot for a bit as his other gets stuck in the fabric for a second.

"I'm not sorry." He shakes his head, crawling closer to you on the mattress to get a hold of both sides of your panties. "I've got my hot girlfriend all pretty and ready, no one can ever blame me for being needy." He shrugs, shaking his hair out of his face before he tries to pull your underwear off. "Hey come on now!" He whines almost, a stark contrast to the tattooed, muscled appearance of him currently already flushed and fully erect, straining against the cotton of his own underwear.

"Needy." You tease, and suddenly, as if you'd pushed a button, as he suddenly pulls on the fabric with more determination, successfully getting rid of the item of clothing with a gaze that screams fake innocence. Jungkook isn't new to sex, and neither are you- but it's the first time doing it with each other, which naturally places a bit of pressure onto you.

Or maybe it usually should be like that- because somehow, it all comes naturally.

When his hand finds your heat, you're already melting underneath his gaze, no words spoken as he leans further over you, catching your lips again. Only that this time, he truly seems hungry; no longer offering you fleeting pecks but desperate kisses that try and convey just how much he wants you right now. He knows that he could never truly make it clear to you though- because he himself doesn't even know if that's possible.

He's never wanted anyone so bad.

And while usually not too fond of it, his need to prove himself as the perfect lover- emotionally and physically- makes him detach himself from you for a second, before he adjusts his position, leaning down to have you lay your legs over his shoulders, hands holding your thighs apart as he lays his mouth onto your heat.

It's an entirely new experience for you, and he knows.

But luckily, if your Impatient whining was anything to go by, you're definitely enjoying yourself as he flattens his tongue over your sensitive nerves, eyes focused on you while he has to use a little strength to keep your legs apart, especially when you grow close to your first orgasm. He's eager to see it, moving away to gain a better view before one of his hands finishes the job, gaze on you as you arch your back and come undone from his actions.

And its now that he really can't take it any longer.

"Fuck I need you." He curses under his breath, finally getting rid of the last item of clothing he still had on until now, no need to give his length any form of help to get ready for you. He can't help but groan a little under his breath at how sensitive he feels, rushing the act of wrapping the condom over as to not rile himself up too much.

After all, he wants to be inside you for his own orgasm, no matter what.

"Hm I'll go slow, ok?" He asks, and you nod, hands reaching out for him, making him chuckle. "You're cute." He comments, earning a roll of your eyes in return. He lets it go for now- giving you a pass this time, but only because be truly feels needy now.

He'd love to tease you a little, make you all whiny and desperate for him, but right now, he just wants you as close as he physically can get.

Though in his haste to get onto his own road towards pleasure, he never forgets you- pride swelling as he watches you hold onto him, wanting him just as much as he wants you. He's a little sweaty already, and the sheetsbare tangled badly at this point from all your squirming, arousal already staining some parts of them but right now he really can't bring himself to care.

He uses one of his hands to aid him in finding your entrance, positioning himself to carefully push himself inside, and at this point, he just feels as if he truly became one with you. It's the last key experience in a way he's had to have with you, and now that he's in exactly that moment, things start to feel real.

"I love you." He almost whispers into your neck while he starts to move. "I'm.. so grateful you're here." He tells you, hips moving at a steady pace. "I want you to.. stay forever." He almost asks, in a way, and while you can't give him an answer to that right now, you probably will later.

After you're back with the normal thinking human beings, because right now, with his pace and strength gaining as he chases his high, your head is definitely unable to form thoughts.

In a way, he loves the sight of you like this. It's awfully sinful, a sight only he wants to ever be able to see, no one else.

He can't control his own noises at this point, uncaring of his groans of pleasure as he chases after his peak, noticing you growing antsy as well, visibly eager to cum as well. And he will make sure you'll get your attention as well- he'd never let you down, ever.

And with his hand reaching in between you both to find where he needs to be, you're gone and out; head thrown back into the pillows while he pushes himself in deep, condom filling with his seed while he slows down into almost no movement at all.

Catching his breath, he leans down to you to kiss you once more, ticking of his clock on the bedside table coming back into the background noise, as well as the cars outside from the opened window, and your breathing underneath him. His senses return one by one as he pulls himself out, moving to get rid of the condom and start the shower.

"Come on." He asks, tapping your thigh, but you just whine all grumpy at him. "Noo get up, get up- the bed's all messy and we're too.!" He laughs, all energized from his own afterglow, while you seem to be the exact opposite, having to be physically pulled into a sitting position by your wrists. Jungkook himself can't help but simply laugh, before he takes matters into his own hands, lifting you up over his shoulder-

And of course, landing a loud smack onto your butt for good measure.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?

(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)

[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]

I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.

Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.

I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.

First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.

Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.

These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.

So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.

I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[suzukiblu]

I know it's totally wrong for what you're shooting for but your stories make me feel bad for Clark. All these folks judging him, when as far as he can tell Kon doesn't even want to be around him. And honestly, he's had clones before. No one expected him to mourn when a Bizarro degraded

. . . okay, friend, first off I apologize, because I def got carried away with this response and it turned into a bit of a rant, hah. Please don't take any of this the wrong way or get the impression I'm annoyed by this ask or anything, I just fundamentally disagree with SO many things about how Clark's relationship with Kon has been handled in canon and apparently I had to word-vomit a lot of that out here and now in explanation of why I tend to write Clark as being Objectively Wrong about Kon/how he treats Kon.

A) There's no convincing reason I can think of that Clark should think Kon doesn't want to be around him, and if he DID, why would he have given him permission to wear the El crest to begin with, much less offered him either the name "Superboy" or "Kon-El"? Especially Kon-El, because that's a name that originated from a specifically ADOPTED member of his birth family, and Clark offered it to him while CALLING him family, but also . . . lying to him about having a secret identity? And whole-ass other life??

and also

B) I actually WOULD expect Clark to mourn a Bizarro degrading. That's like his whole deal, in my experience of him across various media: Clark Kent is a person who thinks that every person matters and is undeniably the kind of guy that would be upset by someone suffering from genetically-inevitable degradation. Especially if the people suffering that degradation only exist to suffer it because HE, Clark "I Am Personally Responsible For This Whole Damn Planet, And Yes That IS A Threat" Kent, exists.

Like, Clark always takes way too much on himself. So it doesn't really make sense to me that a dude like that would take one look at a kid with his own face who is actually at best about a month old and just decide "yeah, this person doesn't need me ever involved in their life at all" and STICK with that assessment even through repeated problems, near-death experiences, and straight-up disasters. ESPECIALLY because Clark already knew Matrix, and she was ALSO a genetic experiment who'd been made in his image by someone he didn't have any reason to trust. But he still took Mae to his parents' farm and let her live there pretty much immediately, trusted her with SO many of his secrets and even trusted her living with his parents without, again, having to jump through ANY of the MULTITUDE of hoops that Kon did to earn a similar level of trust, and she eventually started dating literal LEX LUTHOR and Clark still trusted her after THAT!

( I mean, I think everyone thought Lex was his own son at the time or something weird like that, Because Comics, but still! STILL!! )

Shit, Clark still trusted Mae after she had a mental breakdown ON HIS PARENTS and tried to attack him and had a severe enough psychotic break that she thought she literally WAS him! Mae very quickly proved herself to be WAY more dangerous and hostile than Kon has EVER been outside of being directly mind-controlled, but from the jump Clark is way more invested in her and her life and CARES way more about her and her life. And later he responds to Kara just as differently as he did Mae, despite her ALSO debuting as both a more dangerous and more hostile person than Kon. So like . . . there's a bit of a double-standard going there, it kind of feels like? Like, at least on a meta-level. And I'm sure most of it's editorial nonsense and the kind of narrative problems that lie inherent in like . . . what, thirty-plus years of comic history and about eight bajillion different writers and the like, obviously, but it just is REAL hard to justify that behavior in the actual narrative when Clark Kent is meant to be the moral paragon that the entire damn rest of the DC universe is meant to set its metaphorical watch by.

Either way, though, I'm usually trying to write Clark as either sympathetic or at least understandable in his logic, even when it's flawed, so I wouldn't really say it's "wrong" if you feel sympathy for him while reading my writing. Like, I'm not saying he's in the right in those specific fics, but I do still want to be empathetic to his point of view. It is again just REALLY hard for me to explain a lot of Clark's canon relationship with Kon in any way other than "benign neglect due to just deliberately assuming that all Kryptonians are always Perfectly Fine, Thanks due to his own personal issues about what 'Superman' represents", and that's the KIND option.

Long story short, I really just don't care what DC says, It is NOT on the brand-new teenager with zero life experience who Clark deliberately LET put an S-shield-shaped target on their back to single-handedly foster a relationship with the perfect superhero idol that most of the damn world looks up to. I genuinely cannot think of a single significant occasion where Clark ever does anything for Kon that involves CLARK having to put in any kind of recurring effort, but we're supposed to accept that KON has to earn scraps of Clark's attention and the right to be considered a part of his family over and over again--while Clark, again, doesn't have to do anything to earn Kon's attention or the right to be considered a part of HIS family? Ever? Even ONCE??

Relationships are two-way streets, DC! That's just how relationships are, DC!! Otherwise it's just parasocial bullshit or someone taking advantage of someone else, DC!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I really love Clark, I think he's a great character in a lot of fascinating ways and that he is VERY interesting and affecting when he's done well ("you can do anything you want, and all you want to do is help people" HELLO CRYING IN THE CLUB RN), but like . . . come on, DC, what the fuck and WHY?

[cosmicjoke]

As an eruri shipper I wanted to thank you for your callout post. For nearly a year now I have gotten so much hate on my fics that I thought about deleting them, I haven't tho, thankfully. I found out about the spiteful troll and so I did my best to ignore it. However, the hateful comments my work was getting was beyond me because I hardly ever care what people ship or do and was simply minding my business writing what I like only to be told that I'm a jealous loser and I should stop writing Levi together with the "ugly bitch" (referring to Erwin) and that I should touch grass or slit my throat ... which?? And they made it sound like shipping Levi with a man was illegal or that the ship was inappropriate in some way.

I don't know who is really behind those hateful comments but if it's really her I hope karma hits her way very hard. Don't tell people to kill themselves over fiction EVER. That's common decency.

And about some eruris seeing you as an anti shipper. I'll admit I thought you were one as well. It didn't bother me as everyone is free to do whatever they want, but it's a pleasant surprise to know you actually like the ship and write fics for it. If anything, I admire how you can put your shipping goggles aside to write your analyses. It's very impressive.

Don't know if this is relevant but self shippers scare me a bit. Some of them have mean girls energy and I don't want to be attacked so that's why I'm staying on anon🙏🏻

First of all, let me truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out. It means the world to me, and I admire you for sharing your experience too. I'm super glad to hear that you didn't let the person leaving hateful comments on your stories drive you to delete them. I understand completely where you're coming from, as I've deleted stories of mine in the past due to an overabundance of negative comments. But I've never had anyone actually leave me death threats, or wish for harm to befall me on any of my stories, and to do that is truly the lowest of the low. Not just because it's over something as harmless as a piece of fictional writing, but just in general, it's never okay to wish harm on someone who's never harmed anyone else, or over something as ridiculous as a disagreement.

And yes, given what I've seen from this person on twitter, claiming Erwin is some "old man", they seem to think shipping him and Levi is tantamount to pedophilia, which is so absurd it doesn't even warrant a response. Erwin is at most maybe 5 years older than Levi? If even? They're both in their 30s. Shipping them is totally normal and healthy, lol.

I just think this person has some sort of raging, disgusting prejudice against gay relationships, and they view all gay relationships as perverse in some way. It's truly their problem, not anyone else's. I don't know either if it's the same person I got into an argument with here on tumblr, but so much of the language is the same, and the things they say are so similar to what was being said on twitter and a03, that I'm more than inclined to believe it is the same person. I can only hope my post helps inform more people about them and what a toxic, horrible person they are. Hopefully it will lead to them being blocked so that it isn't so easy for them to harass others. Though I already know they have multiple accounts here on tumblr, since they saw my post and started ranting about it on their blog, even though I had them blocked.

It also means the world to me to know that I've been able to clear up with you my stance on eruri and shipping in general. That was big of you to not be bothered by me when you did think I was an anti, but I'm glad I was able to show you that I'm not. I'm really, really not, lol. I love eruri. It's my favorite ship, and all my favorite AoT fanfics are eruri fics, lol. You can find comments I've left on too many to count at this point. I just try to keep it out of discussions which focus on "Attack on Titan" itself and Levi's role within the story, because I just don't see his relationship with Erwin in canon as romantic. I just think you have to keep the ship separate from canon because if you're going into an analysis of the narrative and Levi's or Erwin's role in it with some preconceived idea that their relationship is romantic in nature, then that's going to color one's ability to objectively analyze the motivations and the reasoning behind both Levi's and Erwin's actions. But I was never, ever against the ship, or against the idea of them being shipped. I think I got the reputation of being an anti because for a long time, I was being inundated with anon asks basically accusing me of being homophobic for saying eruri isn't canon, or anon asks trying to "prove" to me that it is canon and then getting angry at me when I disagreed, or when I lost my patience with them for simply not accepting my stance on this issue. And I think this small group of people then went around to other eruri's and spread to them that I was some sort of aggressive eruri hater. But again, I never was and never will be. I talk more about Levi's relationship with Erwin than any other character, and I find their canon relationship to be incredibly moving and powerful, and further, I love Erwin as a character. One thing I hope all of this will also do is make it clear to other eruri shippers that I'm not against them or their ship at all. I really don't want to be anyone's enemy, least of all eruri shippers. That was never something I set out to do, haha.

But yes, I'm right there with you regarding some self-shippers. Obviously, most of them aren't like this person. Most of them are normal and understand what they write and do is just for fun. But after "Bad Boy" came out, it seemed like the most push back against analysis of that story and its implications came from the self-shipping community, particularly people that seem to actually labor under some sort of delusion of actually, truly being with Levi in a romantic, sexual relationship. I don't understand that at all, because Levi isn't real, lol.

But they seem to get so upset at any discussion of Levi's trauma, or of Levi being affected by his trauma, because acknowledging that trauma and the impact its had on him ruins whatever fantasy, dom-daddy version of Levi it is that they've concocted in their heads. They like to claim Levi is some hard-ass, stoic, unaffected, domineering sex god, because that's what turns them on, and any discussion about what the actual reality of Levi's sexuality would likely be, due to the sexual trauma he's been exposed to, needs to be shut down, because it ruins the fantasy they have. They can't claim that the way they characterize Levi is objective or accurate to canon if Levi's sensitivity or vulnerability as a person is acknowledged, so they like to claim he's not affected at all by his past trauma, that he's just too hardcore to ever succumb to or be profoundly impacted by the things he's lived through. They like to imagine he's just come out the other side totally a-okay and that his stoicism and rudeness is 100% just a product of him being kind of a mean person, again, because they like the idea of being treated meanly by him in a sexual setting.

But Levi isn't a mean person, at all. He's literally the opposite of mean. He's the most thoughtful and considerate character in the series, constantly going out of his way to express his gratitude and ease the suffering of others. He's just awkward, like Dimo Reeves says, and isn't good at filtering his words or expressing himself. That some of these people refuse to acknowledge that the way Levi grew up, the environment he grew up in and the way he was raised, didn't have an impact on his ability to navigate social situations is patently absurd and stupidly unrealistic. It also undermines the severity of abuse Levi suffered in his upbringing, to deny that it had any sort of negative or harmful impact on his ability to interact socially with others. He was raised by a serial killer, for Christ's sake, lol. He wasn't ever taught how to talk to people in a way that would make them more comfortable. He was only ever taught violence and how to kill by Kenny, and he was too young when his mother died to learn anything from her, and he was also abandoned and left on his own at the age of ten, in the most cutthroat, dangerous environment there is inside the walls, surrounded by criminals, rapist, murderers and human traffickers, as well as just desperate people who would resort to plenty of bad shit just to survive. He probably didn't have a single, normal social interaction in his life until he met Furlan and Isabel. I would like these people to explain to me, then, how it is they think that didn't have an impact on the way Levi interacts with others?

He's an exceptionally honest person, too, and he also isn't someone who's concerned with being well-liked, so he doesn't try to ingratiate himself to others by acting friendly. But Levi never sets out to hurt anyone's feelings. He isn't malicious or cruel. He just says what he's thinking and sometimes it comes out sounding unkind. And we see, when Levi realizes it, that he tries to explain himself, again, not because he wants to be liked, but because he doesn't actually ever intend to hurt anyone's feelings. This idea that Levi is a mean person is totally wrong.

Anyway, I went off on a bit of tangent there, lol. Sorry about that. But again I just want to reiterate how much I appreciate you reaching out like this! And don't let these freak shows get you down.

[fireycircus]

Ok it’s 2 am right now and instead of trying to sleep I’ve been thinking about how I feel about Usopp post time-skip and his character progression cuz I see a bunch of people have problems with it but I honestly like it. I just want to put my thoughts into the ring

So, most of my thoughts about him base on my own generalized anxiety disorder and how I’ve coped with it. I don’t think people consider that people with anxiety issues will struggle with it for life. It makes sense to me that Usopp continues to have moments where he runs away from the problem at hand despite his personal growth over the time-skip.

Usopp’s character growth isn’t about never running away or being “strong”. It’s about being brave, doing things despite how scary they are. It’s about him becoming more confident in himself and realizing he has a place on the crew.

People probably don’t think that Usopp changes much after time-skip because hasn’t he always been doing this? Well, yeah he has but the difference here is how he copes with the things that scare him. He does that better, and he doesn’t need to use a fake persona like in the past. He can be himself now.

I think the best example is in Dressrosa because of how much time he gets in the spotlight there. The first time he faces Sugar he runs away, but he’s a lot faster to realize he can’t do that than in the past. He accepts the challenge without the use of his Sogeking persona (which is a HUGE step). He gets it done and when it’s time to face her again he isn’t afraid at all. He’s being hunted down by a giant mob and yet he has his eyes on the prize.

The significance to me lies in my own experience. My flight response is so overwhelming that it’s impossible for me to think clearly at first. I’ve only started being able to calm myself down in 10 minutes versus the hours it used to take.

I get like this over things like writing a paper. Usopp gets like that over fighting for his life. I think that makes his actions pretty reasonable. It’s hard for me to exactly put it into words, but the growth for him lies in being able to get focused and stay focused after that initial flight response. I hope that makes sense to other people that aren’t me.

One last thought that’s semi-related. The scene in Wano that everyone likes to shit on Usopp for. Can we stop and think for half a second and realize that he would be acting just like Nami was if he was in her place.

There’s a list of priorities for Usopp when he’s in trouble that’s different for when others are in trouble. It’s something he shares with a lot of other members of the crew. If he’s in trouble in a situation where people are dissing Luffy, he will make up a whole speech on why they’re wrong about him. If another crew member is in trouble, their safety comes first. We’ve literally seen this happen before, why are people freaking out about it?

Plus, it’s not as if Luffy would get mad at him for it. His crew’s lives are more important than his pride. That’s been a thing all the way back since drum island with Vivi telling him to stand down for Nami’s sake. He’s learned that lesson as a captain. So it would make no sense for it to be a problem when Usopp does it. Especially since Luffy’s gained such a deep understanding of Usopp and how his mind operates after Water 7.

Ok rant over. I’m sorry if this is kind of incoherent, I’ve got a lot to say and don’t always know the best way to explain it. I’d be happy to know if other people have thought about this stuff too. Thank you for listening Usopp nation.

[eris-rose]

Persona 5 vs. Milgram: How One Story Succeeded at Portraying Teenage Sexuality Where the Other Failed

tw: child abuse, child ra**, sexuality and sexualization, abortion, s**cide

(Note: I am not personally a victim of abuse or ra**, so if I say something stupid here, please let me know. I am always open to criticism and I don't want to be an asshole.)

rare moment of @lady-hestia-rose having original thoughts and not just reblogging everything

So this year I discovered both Persona 5 and Milgram, and I love both of them sososo much. I've infodumped about both of them for hours and overanalyzed the writing and symbolism both stories use to no end. Persona 5 Royal is probably my favorite piece of media I've ever seen. Milgram has brought me and my best friend closer together as we rant about our murderer blorbos and how well-written they all are together.

However, playing Persona, to me, is like the video game equivalent of watching a Shakespeare play. It's a masterclass narrative, very entertaining, and full of depth and symbolism to analyze, but it also has a bunch of misogyny that can really sour the mood sometimes. This seems to be a problem that the Persona series has had for a while judging from my experience playing P4 and what I've heard about other games, but in 5 it's like eating the most rich, satisfying cake you've ever had and then finding out some jackass poured pebbles into it. The way Persona 5 treats its female characters is by far my biggest problem with the game, with one problematic aspect in particular being its sexualization of the high school female cast, particularly Ann Takamaki.

Ann's storyline is mostly focused around her looks and how her appearance affects the way people treat her. At first, this plotline is taken in a promising direction. Because of her Caucasian ancestry, Ann faces slut-shaming and fetishization from most of her peers at school. In addition, Ann, along with many other girls in the school, is targeted by her abusive gym teacher, Kamoshida. It's not entirely clear how far his advances went with Ann specifically, but she is shown to face sexual harassment and coercion from Kamoshida onscreen, and Ann's best friend Shiho attempts suicide after being all but stated outright to have been raped by Kamoshida. So Ann is a victim of sexual abuse and a witness of her friend's abuse as well. There are plenty of interesting and thoughtful angles you could take with this story. You could show her reconnecting with Shiho and bonding over their shared trauma, with them going through the healing process together. You could show her being initially distrustful of the other Phantom Thieves until their bond grows stronger and she is able to feel safe around them. You could give her an arc about reclaiming her sexuality and taking back this part of herself that was used to hurt her.

What does the game do?

Barely fucking anything.

Ann gets little to no character development post-Kamoshida. Instead, her Confidant storyline is about her modeling career, with only one conversation where she sees Shiho again even acknowledging her past trauma. The game also continues to make her the Ms. Fanservice of the team, with constant gross jokes about her "hot bod" and the male characters being pervy around her. She keeps getting put in skimpy outfits and having to use her sex appeal to seduce enemies, as if the previous storyline never even happened.

For obvious reasons, I am very uncomfortable with any storyline that sexualizes minors, even if it's for a reason that serves the story. This is a general rule I apply to most media I consume. I'm considering completely skipping the Dancing in Starlight spinoff game because of the content I've heard it contains. And it's not just something I apply to Persona. I stopped listening to the song "Romeo and CInderella" by doriko despite really liking it musically because I was very uncomfortable with the story of the song. It's a problem I run into a lot when consuming Japanese media. However, I was thinking about this stuff a couple days ago, and I realized something. There is one specific piece of media I really like that shows a minor with sexual imagery that actually doesn't make me sick to my stomach. That is the song "Tear Drop" from DECO*27's music project Milgram.

(Note for Milgram fans: This part is based entirely off my interpretation of the offical English translation of the lyrics. I have not watched the voice dramas.)

"Tear Drop" is about a 17-year-old girl named Kashiki Yuno. The music video has several shots of her wearing lingerie, and the song approaches themes of innocence, sexuality, and relationships. Not only do I like the song, it's arguably my favorite song in the entirety of Milgram (although Backdraft also puts up a good fight for that title).

(Note from the future: I have been corrected. Yuno is actually 18.)

Why is it that I like "Tear Drop" despite depictions of sexualized teenagers usually making me uncomfortable? What sets apart Yuno's story from Ann's that makes it work?

(Note: I'm about to discuss a controversial aspect of Japanese culture as a mostly uninformed American. I may be about to say something stupid. If you're more knowledgeable about this subject than I am and you notice me saying something stupid, I am so sorry. Please tell me.)

In Yuno's first song, "Umbilical," it was heavily implied that she was involved in the Japanese enjo kōsai industry, which is often translated as "compensated dating." Taking the definition from Wikipedia (the most scholarly of sources), it is "the practice of older men giving money and/or luxury gifts to attractive young women for sexual favors." The song also implies that Yuno's "murder" (the premise of Milgram is that all of the prisoners the songs are about have killed someone) was an abortion.

So, Yuno was raped. I think that's quite clear. If you're a minor and you have sex with an adult, you were raped. No further clarification needed. Hopefully I don't need to argue that Yuno's abortion was justified either.

After the release of "Umbilical," Yuno was overwhelmingly voted innocent by Milgram's official poll. She garnered a huge amount of sympathy from everybody in the audience, and people expressed their sympathy for Yuno quite often. However, this rhetoric often took on quite a patronizing tone, like calling her "poor baby" or regretting that the circumstances of her life "forced" her into compensated dating to make ends meet (which, from what I understand, isn't quite how enjo kōsai works, but that's another discussion for someone who knows more about this stuff than me).

In Milgram, the prisoners canonically can hear what the audience is saying about them. And Yuno was not pleased.

"Tear Drop" seems to be almost entirely addressed towards the audience. In the image above, we see Yuno removing the metaphorical rose-colored lens from the audience to see the real her. The lyrics call out everyone who infantilized and looked down upon her, drawing similarities between the people she dated and the viewers. Here are some examples from the English translated lyrics: "'Poor naive little girl'? So off the mark, what's it to you? It's just absurd"

"Don't weigh me measure me against your morality Just shut it, will you? You know it all Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I'm so not that Just shut it, will you? You know it all" "Caressing me with your 'Good girl' Who needs your self-righteous pardon?

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in Happy or sad? Why decide? Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear"

Yuno is sick of everyone else making judgements about her and trampling over her own desires and wishes, and in this song she gives the middle finger to everyone who did so.

Generally, I am against portraying sexualized minors in media. However, I think it's important to realize that teenagers are not completely sexless beings. They have their own wants and desires, they want to be sexy, and it is important for them to have their own safe sexual exploration. And like it or not, sex has undoubtedly affected Yuno's life as a rape survivor. And unlike Persona with Ann, Milgram has the respect to not just pretend this part of Yuno's life never happened and allows her to be sexual on her own terms, instead of just pandering to the male gaze.

I grew up in the LDS Church. While I have not gone through anything on her level, I see parts of my own story in Yuno as someone whose sexuality was used to hurt me and who has coped with the trauma by redefining my sexuality as my own. I find "Tear Drop" incredibly inspiring, and I think that's what sets Milgram apart from Persona in its approach to teenage sexuality.

This is the second-to-final shot of Tear Drop. Her face is full of relief, with her clutching the jacket like a comforting blanket. Not everything she has faced is fixed now, and her teenage naivety is still clear in many of the lyrics. One song didn't melt all her trauma away. But she's getting there. She's making progress one step at a time. The final shot of the song is her pulling the jacket in, covering more of her body as she rests.

In Persona 5, Ann's sexuality is used to objectify her. In Milgram, Yuno's sexuality is used to empower her. That's what makes the difference.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Hey there, so about that old post you made about wizard reader and Tesla hcs, it actually gave an idea of a request if it seens interesting enough to write it. So, in middle age people also thought scientists were wizards and witches (especially if they tried explain certain phenomenous like the earth shape and rotation around the sun wich physics now explain, or the origin of live that biology studies till this day). Then i can see a reader who tried proceed with their studies in those times while alive but ended up facing a bit of a cruel fate for such "heresy", but in a twist of events they were brought to Valhalla just like the future scientists in our history including Tesla. So in this kind of scenario considering they were more from a physics field, but still found time in their live to know a few other areas such as chemestry (wich they would probably know as alchemy instead) and biology, would you have any headcannons for them envolving Nikola, Marie Curie if you write for her and maybe Beelzebub? Considering how good is your writting i can only imagine how amazing this would turn out to be.

Scientist!Reader

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Tesla, Marie, Beelzebub ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

Oh my dear!! I didn't know my writing was sooo good 🥺🥺 I hope you like this and don't dissapoint you ><

I didn't know if you wanted romantic or platonic so i tried to keep it neutral

From now on i declared me a simp fan of Marie Curie

Nikola Tesla

Tesla is a man that had dedicate all his life to his studies, wanting nothing more than share all his knowledge to the world, so if he has the opportunity to meet another scientist he won't even think twice, not matter if you work on another field of science

It doesn't matter too much if you two meet by casuality or that you approached him, he is just happy to talk to you. Also, for him it isn't really a bad thing if you just hang out once, just being able to talk to you and know more about you work just like he share his own with you makes him happy, but if you want to keep contact and even become friends he gets excited

Although, once you two become friends expect for him too be more interested on your work and him to talk about his own, he is always so excited to know about your work as much as he loves sharing his own. Besides, if you work on another field he will be asking you a lot of things about it, he is always excited to learn new things and having a specialist who can teach him just making so ecstatic that he can't help

Most of the time you two always talk with letters or even hanging out together, he doesn't have problem for one or another and is always excited when he gets yours news

Tesla had never liked when people call him a wizard or what he does is magic, all his efforts are motivated for his love for science and the memory of his brother (that he holds close to his heart) so when people say that is magic he take it as a personal offence, and he will complain a lot about when talking to you (specially when just happen), you could try to calm him down but it won't work so is better if you just hear him rant about how is science and not magic, however if it bothers you too then will be the two of you complaining and aggresibly talking about all your own studies

Tesla end up having a pretty long life and even when he had some troubles he is pretty satisfied of it, however it wasn't the same for you since you had died some time ago, either victim of others or from your own experiments, that will afect him but won't really stop from his work, prefering to keep your memory as a motivation to continue with his work (just like he did with his brother)

Once he wake up in the Valhalla he just take a moment to apreciate everything before starting to investigate his surroundings and planing to continue with his work. Finding him again would be just as when you two first met, meeting by accident or you approaching to him, in either case he will be ecstatic not giving you even time to finish whatever you were saying before hugging you tightly (may even hold you and spin around out of excitment)

Just as always he will ask you non-stop different things, about what you have done all this time and about this place as well as telling you everything it happened after your dead, and is until he is finally done with knowing anything and everything it happened when he start thinking on resume his work

If you had already started working again in the Valhalla he ask you about your improvement and ask to see your place of work, if you hadn't is not really a trouble because he is planning to do so and, of course, he invite you to work with him, together once again

Marie Curie

Since Marie was a toddler her parents had always instilled in her the importance of the studies, and she just end loving studing and learning all she can

Even when Marie loved studing and investigation just for being a woman the world were making things difficult for her, still she just never give up and always found a way to get away with it, so she will never overlook the opportunity to meet another scientist

Even when she doesn't give importance in the gender the time where you two live do it, that is why at first she just act polite when talking to you, however for the love you two hold for science will make it easy for her to warm up with you and start to be friendly

If you two don't work on the same field of science she will take this opportunity to know more about that field, at first will be a little shy to ask about it and just ask some things when you start talking about it, but the more time you two pass together the more confidence she gets so at one point she will ask you more. On the other hand if you work in the same field of science is not a problem to her, taking the opportunity to talk a lot about it with you and your ideas (and this time without being too shy at first)

She is always happy to recive news about you, and even when she loves knowing about your work and ideas she is always up to talk about other things. Also, when she start to open up more with you she start to complain about how society is so unfair whit woman, leaving them with almost no option just for their gender

Marie is always curious and searching for more knowledge, so she is always excited to know more about your work, at first she is just happy to hear what you like to share, but the more time you two pass together the more she start to ask you for details about it and about your improvements, just like she does too, at first just share her work in a pretty superficial way but as you two get closer she trust you more with her work and give you details

Also, when you two get a closer relasionship and you win her fully trust is when she start telling you about her investigation with radioactivity, since is a pioneering research she prefer to talk about it in person with you so she can express her ideas and hypothesis better (along with introduce you to Pierre since they are working together)

Marie end up dying due to high exposure to radioactive materials so we can tell that she died by her own investigation, however she didn't regret it since she enjoyed all her life doing what she loved. If you encounter a similar fate before her she will be really affected for losing you, she had grow to care a lot for you and it would take her some time to continue, but she is completly sure that you were happy for the life you had so she decide to continue with her work with the memory of you close to her heart

When she wake up in the Valhalla she was really surprised, it took her a long time to realice what is happening because she is taking a lot of time to appreciate her surroundings, a little nervous to move from where she is because she doesn't even know where she is, but brave as always she brush off her worries and start looking around

When you two meet again she will be shocked, recognizing you in an instant and still freezing on the spot, it doesn't matter if you were the one who approached to her or her finding you she still freeze, slowly reacting by calling softly your name before running to hug you in a emotional and thighly hug

Without being able to calm down she separate from the hug minutes after and looking to all over you she asks you what you were doing there, passing hours that felt like a single moment talking about everything that happened after your dead and the place you were in

Marie doesn't think on continue with her work imediatly, so if it isn't your idea she will be the one who brings it up after enjoying the peace and beauty of the Valhalla and your company a little longer

Beelzebub

Beelzebub has never been really interested in others, not humans nor gods, and since everyone just avoid him and even hate him he just doesn't see why even try to approach to anyone

He could be consider an scientist for the work he taked after meeting Hades, but still he is mainly focused on create someone stronge enough to kill him

That is why, for you to meet it has to be totally by your hand, maybe on day you are lucky enough and meet him, either casually or intentionally, or maybe you get into troubles (while trying to investigate something) and you end up meeting him, either way he doesn't really care about you (although if you were causing problems he may give you a warning)

Even when he can be consider a scientist he isn't interested in other's work either, so you have to be stubborn and insist, probably by hearing the rumors about his work you end up interested, still he find your insistence annoying

It could get the point that either you manage to sneak in his laboratory and he, tired of it, just let you be or that, again tired of you insistence he let you see what he is working on with the condition that you leave him alone, although once he let you in you weren't planning to leave

He finds you pretty annoying at first and may even threaten you if you don't leave him alone, but as time pass and you still insist on being with him and seeing his work he just give up and let you stay (he isn't going to accept it, but your interest on him and the admiration you have for his work flustered him)

He won't really talk much with you, essentially just answer whatever questions and curiosity you have for what he does, if you give him suggestion he most of the time just hum or ignore you, but in reallity he hear what you say and even really consider some of them

He doesn't ask you about your personal life or about when you were alive but if you want to talk about it he won't stop you, again it seems like he doesn't pay attention to you but he actually does and end up pretty interesed on your previous life and what you investigate back then, he even mentally make a comparation between your human life and the gods culture and knowledge (not to judge, he just find it curious)

He really didn't expected that back then people accuse you of been a wizard/witch or say that what you did was magic, it surprise him but at the same time he doesn't find it strange, what surprise him the most is that even existed a threat against scientists for the heresy (humans could be as cruel as gods, huh?), that is when he gets more interesed

He doesn't express it but he likes to have you around and end up really liking hearing your stories and ideas, and, even when he never let the two of you get a close relasionship, he had made clear that you are free to come over his study whenever you want if it help you continue with your investigation

[askuemki]

ranting about WCUE

I have ALOT of (maybe) unnecessary grudges with so many things abt WCUE. I love reading rants, so I'll as might as well put out my own too. To the people (probably most of my followers) who don't know what the game is, basically it's a children's game on Roblox based off of the book series Warrior Cats, by Erin Hunter. I apologize in advance, there may be some lingo you may not understand.

So WCUE has been my comfort game for many, many years. Partly, it's my childhood and it's just a game I can just go and chill. Make silly cats without working my ass off on drawing. But when I want to actually go and try and join a clan? Have fun roleplaying a little? (I'll admit, it's a fun thing from time to time.) Every. Single. Fucking. clan. Never manages to keep itself up. It takes SO LONG to set things up. To get the right people. It'll take hours for a clan to get running. And for what? For people to sit in the clearing? For your complicated "fun" plots to fall flat? I don't get being picky. Sure, you want your major roles to have experience, to know their shit. But if you keep yearning for that one miss perfect medicine cat who knows all of the out of game herbs? Bullshit. Major roles are here to have fun too, not to just manage. It's so frustrating whenever I want to be a leader, or a medic and to have 1000's of kids yapping at my toes. You're expected to babysit. To do their wishes. You only matter as a major because you're needed. Something else with these "experienced roleplays" is the cliques. People form friend groups, that's natural. But if it's a game where people are SUPPOSED to chat and cooperate, what's the point if you don't include them too? Those prophecy plots? It's only fun if you're the main character. People who join later are confused, or you get shoved into the back. And when the rules are established? NOBODY upholds them after 10 minutes. I'm tired of seeing people sitting in the clearing, or moping around alone. I'll admit I'm quite guilty sitting by myself, but at some point you'll need to get thing going with one or more people. You'll eventually get demotivated from loneliness. Another thing, "exp" people. (Or cats, per say.) It frustrates me to see people using these unnecessarily lengthy words to describe something. Incandescent, tarsal bones, premolars, dentations, all of that bullshit-you don't need those words when people can't even understand you. Recently, I got some real good advice from a mentor. Good writing doesn't involve using these long words. If they aren't in your everyday vocabulary? Just don't. Don't use them. You come off as arrogant and show offish. (Unless that's how you intend to display yourself.) Good writing involves clarity, making things CLEAR for other people. Instead of using words only Shakespear would use, why not describe your surroundings in your descriptions? Other cats? Going in depth with thoughts? If you want to go the route where you're using complicated vocabulary, at least research the words you want to use. Again, I'm guilty for this phase.

My partner was telling me about how she was auditioning for medic, and the person auditioning posted this question: "What herb tastes tangy and bitter?" (or something of the like.) It was yarrow. At least according to a quick search- it's supposed to taste like licorice. I'm convinced clan founders auditioning medics are making shit up. What herb is this? What herb is that? The more "experienced" players lean towards out of game herbs, and it gives an unfair advantage for players wanting that role. I don't have time in my day to study herbs like I'm studying for my exams. The "unexperienced" players (maybe this can also be for everyone) have problems too, I'm not going to just complain about the veteran members. HARASSMENT. There's those people who shoo spectators away like pests. It's a public server. It isn't YOUR clan, let them exist. It pisses me off when they're so abrupt and arrogant about it. If you ask? Maybe they'd be more willing to move away. It also sucks when there is a valid roleplay with specific lore, and (agreeable) rules to follow, and people insert themselves like they're the main character. No, SpeckledPelt you can't have the leader role just because you equipped the icon. No BloodBush (fuck you, specifically), you wanted to join the clan; don't boss the host around when they're trying to set things up for you. I miss the WCUE where we didn't have to be so choosey about the people we appoint for roles. I miss the WCUE where we can be silly and fun, without having to feel sophisticated. Sure maybe the name "MochaHeart" is a little wacky, but at least they're doing their best to roleplay. To have fun.

[iheartstarssm]

i'm gonna be so fr rn, doxxing people for writing smut about the triplets is unhinged. all you are doing is indulging in the problem and even being a part of the whole issue yourself. and if you're one of those people going on all the smut writers accounts and harassing them with the "the triplets don't like being sexualised." comments, you're just giving them a reason to clap back and then you guys get upset with it. everyone's entitled to different opinions on how they think fics of the triplets should be written within the fanbase. personally, i like to read fics where they're just nice and cute and i know i can usually read a well-written fic without it getting tooooo sexual.

and since we don't know how they feel about s*x fics being written about them, i don't think it's safe to assume anything. if they want to speak out and say "hey, just for the record, we still don't want smut fics written about us", then cool. if they come out and say "hey, we really don't give a fuck what you write", then cool; it's their decision and we have to respect that and what other writers do with that info.

as for smut writers, i've seen some of your guys' blogs and the fact that you are CONSTANTLY talking about how stupid and "sensitive" sturniolo fans are is just plain annoying and uncalled for. sure, you can have your own opinion but when you make your opinion the ONLY thing you post about on your blog, it's really annoying. you don't see "sensitive" writers constantly complaining about the smut fics rn. they say what they want and move on but you guys are the ones who are going on rants about how "sensitive" and annoying some fans are for not agreeing with you writing smut about chris, nick, and matt.

as for the whole nick x fem!reader stuff i keep seeing (i won't say names or accs, you guys know who you are), it's honestly pretty sad because it shows me and other fans around you that you don't respect nick or nick's sexuality. he has always said he's always known he's gay and that he's never liked another girl so why are you writing fics where he's making out with a fem!reader?

and also, all i can say is, the whole incest shit and "oh, i had a dream chris made out with nick" thing is just gross. they are brothers, not fuck buddies.

also, the whole thing with "suggestive" fics is honestly something for each reader/writer to decide if it's okay to them. i know some writers use the word "suggestive" heavily and lightly. for some writers, "suggestive is making out without actually getting to a point where sex happens (which can happen a lot in real life! you can definitely makeout with someone without having sex with them). and for other writers, "suggestive" can be alluding to sex or suggesting that sex was going to happen. personally, i'm fine with a fic that has a small makeout moment but if it gets to the point where sex is going to happen, that's where i will probably just silently scroll away and find a different fic to read without makking a fuss on every smut/suggestive writers account and it’s not because i hate smut writers, i’ve just had bad experiences with sexual things and i personally choose to avoid it! there's some writers who have a few works i read but they also write "suggestive" fics about the triplets and that's where i agree to disagree with a writer but i can still enjoy other fics they write. it's like strawberry picking what works for you.

and to tie it all up, smut is usually poorly written and not accurate to how real life s*x is. so for a young fan to read that and get a poor representation of how sex is can be really damaging and can cause insecurities in someone. i know when i was younger and people introduced me to smut, it made me insecure because i thought my body was supposed to be a certain way for men to like me. so with that being said, if you are a smut writer and want to continue your writing, no one can forcefully stop you. but i would suggest that if you are going to write smut, label it mature so people can turn on/off their mature tags and get the fics they actually want to read. wattpad writers do it with their work and i think it's only respectful for you to do it as well on this app.

also, i'm tired of seeing smut writers saying "Well they aren't minors anymore and they didn't like it when they were minors". they can still not like it even if they're 20. smut about a real person is very invasive and can make someone insecure about their body. if someone you didn't know wrote smut about you and they knew nothing about you, you'd be uncomfortable and grossed out too.

all i'm saying is at the end of this, no ones going to win their case. smut writers aren't going to get "sensitive" fans to stop rambling about smut since there are always going to be people who don't agree with you or what you do. and non-smut writers aren't going to get smut writers to stop writing smut since they think it's fine and will continue to do whatever the fuck they want. i still stand by my thought that if you are a smut writer, label your sexual works 'mature' so people who don't want to indulge in smut can turn that tag off.

that's all i got to say about it !

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

i watched dom the bombs reading of book 2 and saw people making really negative comments about tillie and the book, it made me feel bad seeing how far people are going to hate on tillie instead of just the book

Yeah, I saw some of his livestream. I don't really watch his content, but I have watched the videos he did about Clementine Book One. I only watched the stream for about two minutes before I had to shut it off because it was that unpleasant, and I'm not referring to the content of the book. Then when I heard through discord that he'd gotten to chapter 9, I turned it back on and watched his reaction and the rant that followed and like... I have a lot of feelings but to put it simply, I'm kinda pissed so apologies for this long post.

Here's the deal: I don't know Dom, and maybe his reactions were exaggerated for his chat, or maybe he really does feel that aggressively passionate about twdg and what these comics have done, I don't know. I jumped into the stream the first time when he was at the part where Clementine's being introduced to new cast at the party, and it's when he was reading and said, "'John is Morro's son' I don't care" that I clicked off. Why should I keep watching when you're not going to put in any effort into the story outside of just hating on it? That's the whole vibe I got and it put me right off.

He can hate them as much as he wants [and he did say that if this wasn't about Clementine, it wouldn't be that bad], that's not my issue. My biggest issue comes when he brings Tillie into it because he always does.

I think his stream had a little bit of a ripple effect that's lead to Tillie's social media. Looking through her most recent post on insta, there are a bunch of new comments with people parroting some stuff he said in his stream... as if she needed more shit. She's been getting these comments for days now.

For those unaware, Tillie Walden just had a baby on October 4th, the same day Clementine Book Two came out, and these are pieces throughout the comments section of that post sharing the news:

I'm trying so hard to put this into words because, on one hand, I get that Dom is just one person and it's not like he can force his audience to do anything. Plus, the hate was happening before his stream so it's not like it's his fault anything... but just because he throws in a "I don't condone harassment of Tillie guys" disclaimer around, that doesn't mean he isn't contributing to the problem.

You can't go on a rant about how Ricca is Tillie's self-insert and no one can change your mind about that, and then be like "but guys don't harass Tillie, she doesn't deserve it." THAT is what people are sending her threats over! You're just validating that self-insert idea! You are contributing to the problem!

Personally, I don't think he's saying "don't send anyone harassment" because he actually gives a shit about Tillie Walden or anyone involved in the project, he's saying it to cover his own ass so no one can point any fingers at him. I'd like to be proven wrong on that. I'd love for him to be more serious about it and say more than just "I don't condone harassment" before going on to say he's gonna bring the hammer down for his review.

And y'know what? You're right. I can't change your mind about Ricca being a self-insert because you don't want to change your mind.

Both of them having glasses isn't evidence, and "they look exactly the same!" doesn't work when Tillie's art style has same-face syndrome. Slap some glasses on Olivia and oop, Olivia must be a self-insert, too!

Like... do people still not get how stories are made? Writers tend to write what they know, they draw from their life experiences and that influences their characters, settings, and plots. You know what probably happened? Tillie wears glasses, and she probably thought about how much it would suck to wear glasses in the apocalypse, and gave that idea to one of her characters.

But does it even matter? You've already decided it's not up for debate. You're not open to discussion on it. You're set on spreading "Ricca is a self-insert" to your audience, that ripples through the fandom, and a shit ton of people are weaponizing it. "Ricca is a self-insert" is why they're going after her on a post about her newborn baby.

I know how that this works. It's happened to me where I've said something only to see some of my followers weaponizing it against other people. Shit, when I was on the subreddit the other day, I saw someone misquoting me from my first read through of Book Two post: I never said I would lose my shit if they named Olivia's baby Amos Junior, AJ 2.0. I was making a fucking joke. And do you know how many times I've come across "AJ 2.0" since? An alarming amount!

When you have a platform with any amount of followers, shit you say is going to spread and it might be used poorly. There isn't much you can do about it except think about the future shit you say and how you say it. You're never going stop everyone from being shitty; some people are just insistent on being assholes, but you can always try to reach through to more people.

There is a conversation to be had about the contents of chapter 9, and how this story is leaning toward a more romantic focus over a gritty zombie drama. There's a lot to say about Ricca as a character. There are legit criticisms of these books, and criticisms to be had of Skybound for continuing the series after the games ended... but I don't think many people are interested in actually having those conversations. I think they just want to be mad. I think they want to put all the blame on one person, and since it's Tillie's name on the books, they want to hate her.

And I don't even dislike Dom or anything. He seems like a nice guy who's passionate about the games and is disappointed the comics didn't do them justice. From the parts I watched he had good points about how Skybound were the ones who hired Tillie knowing her previous work. I see where he's coming from with his dislike of the romance angle, too.

But it's the reactionary anger that feeds and grows, which again, I don't blame him for having strong feelings or reacting. I used to stream on twitch and you do get carried away; you exaggerate, you get pissed off and so does chat and suddenly everything is heated and you're bouncing that off each other. So I get it.

I guess I just dread his actual review because I know what's going to happen. And now I'm also a little worried about my review.

I'm just upset that this is what the twdg fandom's turned into. I mean, we've always had toxicity but I don't remember it ever being this bad. There's nothing I can do about it except hope people calm down.

...I can't believe this is where my character arc has led me. I'm the Tillie Walden and, to an extent, the Clementine comics defender... Well, shit.

I don't even like the comics, I think they're bullshit too, and yet-

[cailynwrites]

Harry Potter Rec Fest Day 21 - Thought-provoking

@hprecfest - this prompt was itself very thought-provoking, it made me go back and think about the fics that made me close my Kindle and stare at a wall for a while. The fics I love best make me re-examine canon and rethink the things I knew about characters and situations, or even my own life.

The Audacity of Lavender Brown by @malpal132 Pairing: Lavender x Charlie Word count: 6,457 Rating: E

Canon did Lavender Brown dirty. I'm not sure who did her dirtier - JKR or the movies - but I really think she's unfortunately a one-dimensional plot device in a series of books already bereft of strong, admirable female characters. @malpal132 sets out to change this. This fic not only made me rethink Lavender in and out of canon, but female characters in general. Come for the feminism, stay for the sexy smut with Charlie Weasley.

Pop Up Pals by bambimoss Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 62,447 Rating: E

I love down-and-out Draco. I think it's a good impetus for a redemption arc and humanizes him for Harry and others who spent years villainizing him. This fic takes it to another level. I got literal stomach aches feeling so sorry and sad for Draco in this fic. As an introvert who doesn't love leaving the house but still experiences loneliness like all humans, I related to his "imaginary friends" and the embarrassment of having your lackluster (as judged by others) personal life outed. I don't want to spoil too much, because this fic is so small and heartbreaking and wonderful. You all need to experience it for yourselves.

************************************************************************

And finally, a couple of little self-recs ...

Keep Your Eyes on Me by @ahhhnorealnamesallowed - a Podfic (Spotify) Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 2,786 Length: 17:55 Rating: T

How Harry became a tattoo artist. The descriptions of art in this fic are so beautiful; I can picture them clearly. The writing is efficient and minimalist but evokes so much emotion. I love this alternate journey for Harry - a way for him to work through some of his trauma.

A Gift of True Esteem by @teledild0nix - a Podfic (Spotify) Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 53,965 Length: 5:37:00 Rating: E

This is a personal one. I recorded this for the wonderful @teledild0nix at the request of their partner for an anniversary gift. Of course, I said yes! It's a sweet and thought-provoking fic: Hogwarts professors Drarry, educational reform, werewolves, actual queer representation, adorable magical pets. For me, the educational reform was the thought-provoking part, and Liddy does a great job laying out some of the problems with Hogwarts curriculum and then trying to fix it. I so enjoyed recording it, and even moreso the thought of @teledild0nix listening to it.

Mini-soapbox rant to hopefully make my post meta-thought-provoking: Liddy's partner asked me, when recording this, if they could compensate me for my work. I do some paid audiobook work in my free time, but this is fanfic, and I would have done this for free just because it's such a sweet thing for someone to do for a loved one.

(Shouting into the void and very much not at @teledild0nix's lovely partner:) But also don't try to monetize fandom!!! We do this out of love for the fandom and to increase accessibility for those who might not always be able to read. It's fun, it brings people together, and no one should be making money off it! Let's just all scream on the internet about how great and fun it is, okay?

[pancake-breakfast]

I always forget to do stuff for ace awareness days, but I've remembered today, so I'm gonna take a second to talk about some of the struggles I've had being ace, and heteromantic grey-ace in particular.

Erasure: Oh, you want to be in a relationship? Surely you're not really ace, then. You're grey-ace? Sounds like you're just picky. You go for people of the opposite gender from the one you were assigned at birth? Not queer enough. I don't mean to say someone like myself doesn't face fewer problems with their queerness than others; there's no way in hell I deal with the level of shit some of y'all put up with. I "pass," especially when set in US purity culture. But this does not mean I experience sexuality the way most people do, and pretending I do causes all sorts of issues for both me and any partners I might pursue.

Realizing One's Ace-ness to Begin With: To the best of my understanding, this is incredibly common in the ace community. We're told we'll grow into it, that we're just late bloomers, that we haven't found the right person, and for AFAB people, that "women are just less into sex than men." All of this means it's not exactly uncommon for people not to realize they're ace until their mid-20's or later, often after they've been through a few relationships where they allowed things to go past their comfort levels because that's what's expected of someone in a relationship.

Loss of Meaningful "Friendships": I'm sure this happens to everyone to some degree, but it seems particularly cruel that a number of close friendships I've had pretty much evaporate overnight when it finally sinks in to the other person that I will not have sex with them. Usually, I'm completely unaware that all the time we've spent hanging out and chatting and bonding was them trying to build to a sexual relationship in the first place. I thought we were just really good friends and deeply valued what I thought was a platonic relationship only to have a rude awakening when all the times I said, "I'm ace," finally sink in. This is why I usually leave of the "grey" part when describing my asexuality. Anything else usually implies there's more hope to people than there generally is. Of all the "friendships" I've lost this way, the number that have gone on to become something healthy and platonic is... one.

Society isn't Built for Ace Folk: I'm a pretty strong introvert. I like my alone time. I like my space. But it's INCREDIBLY difficult to live on one's own, especially these days. It's not just the expectation that any household needs to pull two full-time incomes to stay afloat. It's the little things. If I'm sick, no one else is around to help keep the place clean or do the groceries or pick up medicine or drive me to the doctor's. A lack of platonic social spaces mean there's no one I can rant to in person about my patio birds or this Cool Thing I found while out and about. Who do I go to when I need a shoulder to cry on or a hug or just not to be alone with my anxiety for a bit? This is not to diminish my in-person friends, but they have their own lives and few of them live close by, so sometimes even when they want to be there, they can't. And if I do reach out to them too much, people are quick to question our relationship. That can interfere with any romantic relationships the friend has, or put either or both of us in an awkward situation. Sometimes, it leads to a closeness that the other person feels, but I don't reciprocate. It is hard to know that your life will always be more difficult because you refuse to take a sexual partner.

One of these days, perhaps I'll write something up about some of the nicer things about being ace, but today, this is what I want to share. May it help those of you who are on the ace spectrum feel a bit more seen and a bit less alone, and may it help those of you who have ace people you care for in your lives understand things a bit better.

[drdemonprince]

I’ve been reading Unmasking Autism and really enjoying it, the exercises have been enlightening and giving me a lot of new insight on my life, and I’m really grateful for all the tools and advice you included. I figured it might be worth asking you this because you’ve clearly done a lot of research and spoken with a variety of autistic people about their experiences.

I was wondering if you would have advice on a specific experience I tend to notice; often if I see a pet peeve of mine somewhere (and this particularly sucks because my biggest ones are factual errors regarding something I struggle with) it’s very hard for me to move on from seeing it. I can’t forget it and move past it and it continues to upset me for a long time, but of course I don’t want to come off as aggressive by correcting someone (especially because I have such a strong emotional response and wouldn’t want to project that anger on someone who just didn’t know better).

Is there a term for this type of experience that you know of? Or any advice you would give for preventing your brain from sticking on one thought?

Yeah, that's perseveration or rumination, I'd say. And I get it -- I used to get so angry and tense whenever a podcast I was listening to got a fact wrong, or a teacher of mine did, or a boss, and then just breezed along onto the next discussion point without ever correcting it. I would just repeat the correction in my head over and over, or write it down, or write a pissed off little email about it, because I could not get over it and I didn't get the chance to share it.

In my case, this fixating on other people's wrongness only fed into my misanthropy (at the time) and anger and sense of disconnection from everybody.

Now, there are plenty of situations where simply speaking up and correcting the incorrect statement on the fly is the responsible thing to do. Somebody gets misgendered? Interrupt to correct it. Someone in a work meeting has a crucial sales figure wrong? Piping up to correct it is important.

Where it gets dicier is when the correction is more complicated or the issue seems moot given the situation, even if the truth of the matter is really important to you. For instance, someone makes an off-hand comment about their phone giving them dopamine when that's not really how the neurotransmitter works, and popular misconceptions about the role dopamine plays in task completion and discovery leads to a lot of damaging conclusions.... and suddenly now I'm delivering an impassioned thousand word rant to a person who really just used the phrase as a metaphor and never really thought about whether it was neurologically true anyway and doesn't really need to hear that it's incorrect right now.

In situations like those, I think it is important to have the skill of regulating distress and detaching from unwanted thoughts. And there's a whole array of psychological techniques for this that you can try. There's mindfulness. There's dialectical behavioral therapy. There's imagining the thought as a bubble and letting it float up to the surface and pop, or picturing it as a leaf blowing away on the breeze or whatever else. There's also working on your anxiety -- I fixate on other people's wrongness less now that I'm off caffeine and less impatient and problem-finding. There's meditation, and grounding techniques. There's working on one's outlook towards other people. and there's working on one's boundaries and accepting that how other people think and feel is not your problem or something you even should have the power to control.

those are just some options. some may work for you, some won't. i know i had to get my physiological anxiety reduced (by quitting caffeine, getting regular exercise, AND by not working too much) in order to be more patient with such things. and i also had to do some inner work in accepting that other people's minds are not my mind and that their thoughts and feelings cannot hurt me and exist outside of me and independent of me. i also had to work on healthy assertiveness so i come across as less pissy and aggressive when i do step in to correct. and i just generally had to work on not ruminating on any of my anxieties as much as i used to. im much better at letting go of things now and learning that took years.

your mileage may vary depending on the specifics of how getting stuck like this feels to you! the fastest, simplest solution is just noticing youre stuck and deciding you dont want to be stuck and so consciously choosing a distracting activity that will occupy your mind instead.

[theragnarokd]

writing and making friends

read a post where the author was asked if they make friends via writing, and they seemed baffled by the idea of wanting to write in order to befriend people.

having thoughts about it now.

like - if I said "I write to make friends" I would sound, idk, self-serving? like I'm doing it for popularity or attention.

(although if I am, is that wrong?)

I think about writing as a conversation. I go on a podium, I rant a bit, and I hope someone will come out and "yes and" me.

I definitely have also the writing equivalents of muttering to myself, especially posts like this one but also some fics - writing helps me process my own thoughts and emotions.

People relating to experiences I put in writing because I've had them means a lot to me.

this can be a problem because writing can be the main or only way i know how to interact, which can lead to burnout because i want social connection so i write even if i'm too tired etc.

and the thing is - when i read fic that makes me feel seen, I want to talk to the person who wrote it. but i know, from my own experience, that sometimes that doesn't make the author feel seen but the opposite - that it feels like lots of people are into this performance that might be fun to put on for a while, but isn't really the person themself.

and i do want to make friends. i want to find others like me, so i shine my light as strongly as i can, so as many people as possible see it.

not everyone who does will see me. that's not a bad thing they're doing, but it means not all of them i could be friends with.

and idk. the autistic mood of spending all this time and effort trying to understand others, and not feeling understood in turn... it's hard. it hurts. and you get tired of it.

i do have people who love me and see me. i am lucky and also i worked my ass off to find them and build communications with them. but occasionally I just realize how unintuitive i am to the average person and feel sad about it.

[taylortruther]

sorry to vent but i honestly am just so damn tired atp of having to desperately cover everything in disclaimers and constantly perform outrage just to be allowed to exist in fandom spaces now as a black fan. like my original mindset was just that it’s disappointing but i don’t and can’t expect celebrities to perfectly mirror my values, and with all the actual problems in my life and the world - including racism that actually affects my real life AND things i have the ability to potentially do something about - i wasn’t going to spend my time and energy being furious that a pop star i’ll never meet is fucking an edgelord i’ll never meet either. like i’m sorry but i already compartmentalized all this YEARS ago and have zero expectations of celebrities so it’s just whatever to me. if taylor herself was spewing racist comments or if matty was actually some white supremacist nazi and not just an intentionally provocative edgy douchebag it would be different, but TO ME PERSONALLY the actual situation as it is is just not that serious and not worth my outrage.

but am i, one of those ‘poc fans’ everyone is constantly falling all over themselves to declare themselves supportive of and ‘safe’ for, allowed to feel that way as one of the people actually targeted by that idiot’s dumbass comments? NOPE! you best believe people were FURIOUS that i thought i could get away with not performing Angry Black Woman Rage for them every single time i want to simply engage in my hobby and discuss fun things, or analyze surprise songs, or express empathy for taylor in any circumstance, or just do anything that isn’t ranting 24/7 that she’s terrible and racist and irredeemable. so now every time i want to do any of those things i have to write 6000 disclaimers that yes taylor is awful and no i don’t like matty just so overwhelmingly white fans won’t yell at me that i’m not really black (an accusation i’ve now gotten three separate times), or that i’m hurting other poc by “condoning racism” (which i have not done), or that i’m so far up taylor’s ass i would still stan her even if she personally called me the n-word (the final straw that made me turn anon off probably for good) and idk it’s just…not fun being here anymore now that everyone is just going to treat me like a doll who’s only here for them to virtue signal with (and ‘virtue signaling’ is a terrible term but like that is truly, genuinely what a huge chunk of this fandom is doing rn), claiming to obsessively care about my feelings and fandom experience so they’ll look good but then berating and scolding me every single time i step a toe out of line and try to express my own opinion or commit the grave sin of Enjoying Taylor Swift On My Taylor Swift Blog. like sure taylor disappointed me but it’s other (again, overwhelmingly white) fans who have completely ruined being here and made it a miserable chore to be a black fan, not her. atp I just want her to drop him and everyone to forget not bc he sucks but bc i just want to be allowed to exist peacefully on my own blog again, without having to constantly walk on eggshells so the people who ~care about marginalized fans~ won’t come call me a stupid brainless bitch who lets taylor manipulate me because i’m a self-hating racist. i’m just so tired.

i am tired too and i am really grateful to you for writing all this out (i hope it felt a little cathartic) because i 100% AGREEEEEEEEEE. the way this fandom acts anytime they start talking about uplifting poc will never not be weird to me and i think you explained why perfectly.