#only thing that's missing is a clove of garlic

[totheecore]

had half a leftover lemon i would've had to throw away otherwise and that's a capital sin in this household my trusted canned tuna a pasta box already opened fusilli with lemon juice lemon zest olive oil & pepper for lunch it is 🙂‍↕️

[blacklegsanjiii]

•°♤°• Any Zosan Fic Recommendeds?

Here's some! (And one ZoLuSan because i'm me) Some are unfinished, some are classics. Either way these are the ones I always go back to!

Learning to Listen by three_days_late

Teen and Up

No Archive Warnings Apply

For as long as Zoro's felt his soulmate echoes he's hated them. He doesn't know why Sanji, or the rest of his crew mates, care so damn much.

Broke the Yolk by 3oClockSnacc (TobiSterling)

Teen and Up

No Archive Warnings Apply

Sanji has a nasty habit of denying himself little luxuries. Sleeping in, hot food, the unconditional love of his crew. He's used to it though; used to getting up at the crack of dawn to prepare breakfast, used to working on an empty stomach to ensure everyone else is fed, used to serving up pieces of himself and getting nothing in return. He can't afford those luxuries. Not even on his birthday.

Digital Footprint 100 Miles Wide by yellowrubberboots

Teen and Up

No Archive Warnings Apply

[Profile Picture Description: A MS Paint drawing of a cartoon skull. The skull is wearing a yellow straw hat with a red band around the base.] TheStrawhats Last live 2 days ago video games and other random shit // we stream when we stream. 6.2M followers

Unwritten Recipes by aririnas

Teen and Up

No Archive Warnings Apply

Ingredients 2 fat garlic cloves, crushed 2 red chillies, deseeded and finely chopped 150ml white wine (not optional) 175g dried spaghetti 140g mussels, washed and beards removed 140g clams, washed chilli oil or olive oil, for drizzling ½ small pack parsley, roughly chopped (..) or Sanji writes everyone's favourite food in a recipe book

You'll Whisper Lies to Me (and One of Them Will be True) by Veto_power_over_clocks

Teen and Up

No Archive Warnings Apply

Sanji introduces Zoro to Two Truths and a Lie. He only ever plays with Zoro, and all his lies are shit. (Alternatively: Sanji subjects himself to the mortifying ordeal of being known by Zoro. He does everything in his power to ensure Zoro doesn't realize that's what's happening.)

Green with Envy Blues by adietxt

General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Zoro thinks he’s a pretty loyal person. All things considered, he’s a faithful crewmember and swordsman of the Strawhat Pirates. Zoro looks up just in time to see Luffy launching himself at Sanji, wrapping his stretched limbs all over Sanji’s body. Sanji has just walked out of the galley carrying a plate full of fancy-looking drinks and he’s extending his arm as far away as possible from Luffy’s grasp, and Luffy leans over his shoulder, their cheeks pressed against each other’s, their lips almost touching — Zoro is seriously considering mutiny.

Switching Places by TranqilChaos

Mature

Graphic Depictions of Violence

All it takes is one desperate battle in the jungle for Zoro to finally be on the other side. For him to be the one worrying at a bedside. For him to be the one waiting hours for the slightest sign of anything. For him to be the one missing meals and skipping showers and sleeping in the infirmary chair. Or Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji fight a tough battle in the forest that leaves all, but Zoro, horribly injured.

Your Eyes are Liquor, Your Body is Gold by Astauria

Not Rated

Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

It was a stupid idea, Zoro had known it all along and now he was really wondering why he had accepted such a proposal. No amount of alcohol in the world could ever be worth the decomposition he would see in Sanji's eyes when he learned the truth. Zoro had bet on him, for one fucking drink.

Rewind (Be Kind) by donutsandcoffee

Teen and Up

No Archive Warnings Apply

What should be a run-of-the-mill skirmish with a devil fruit user turned Sanji into an eight-year-old, and the Strawhats are suddenly faced with a version of Sanji they have never met before: a Sanji before the Strawhats, before the floating restaurant, but after—something. Zoro observes, learns, and relearns.

[arsenal-womens-1]

I see you in my reflection part 2

Tw: guns school shooting death blood self harm description of death murder panic attack if there’s any I’ve missed sorry

“The bravest thing I ever did was continue my life when I wanted to die.” — Juliette Lewis

“If you love someone, you say it. You say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by.” — Mark Sloan

Six hours later, you are on your way back to Leah's. It was just going to be Beth, Viv, you, and Leah having dinner tonight after you’re planning on watching a movie called *The Fallout*. You have no clue what it’s about, but it’s apparently meant to be good. It’s cold outside, not too cold, but still cold. The car comes to a stop. Finally, you get out of the car and run to the door. Leah walks up the stairs as slowly as possible, finally opening the door. You run in, running straight to the kitchen. Leah had agreed to let you help with dinner. It’s called marry me chicken. It takes about 45 minutes to cook.

“Right, get all the ingredients out, and we can start cooking,” Leah says, pulling out all the ingredients: 30 g of plain flour, 4 chicken breasts, 125 g sundried tomatoes in oil (drained and roughly chopped), 3 tbsp oil (reserved), 1 red onion (finely chopped), 3 garlic cloves (crushed or finely grated), ½ - 1 tsp chili flakes (to taste), 2-3 thyme or oregano sprigs (leaves picked), or 1 tsp mixed dried herbs, 150 ml of double cream, 250 ml of chicken stock, 35 g parmesan (grated), 8-10 basil leaves (torn), and lemon wedges.

Halfway through making it, there is a knock at the door before Leah can say anything. You run to the door. Beth and Viv are just standing there. ���Come in,” you say, taking off their shoes and coats. You all walk back into the kitchen where Leah is still doing stuff for the food. “How was media day?” You just shrug your shoulders at that.

“Boring, mainly they all ask the same question, just in a different way,” you reply. Beth and Vivian just shake their heads. You have said multiple times that you don’t like media days. This is only the second one you’ve done, but you still have the same opinion: “Yeah, they do that a lot apart from a few, and since you couldn’t do any work today, you need to do a bit more tomorrow.” The only downside of living with Beth and Vivian is that they make you do schoolwork. It’s the most boring thing.“What if I don’t do any more schoolwork?” you ask.

Viv loses it at your shoes, saying that no matter what you are doing, the work is still there.

You just accept your fate. “Can someone call my phone? I’ve lost it. It’s aging.” Leah holds your phone up and says, “Thank you.” Opening your phone, there is a text from your dad.

Dad:

“Hey kid, I know we haven’t spoken in a bit, but I thought I would text you and see how you are doing. Also, Max and Missy want to know if you are going to be home this summer for their birthday.”

You:

“Hey Dad, I’m doing good. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it home this summer, but tell Max and Missy that I miss them and I wish I could be there, but I can’t. I’ll send them presents.”

Dad:

“It’s okay, kid. You don’t have to apologize. I know why you don’t want to come back, but they wanted to know if you were able to come. It’s good to hear that you’re doing well. I have to go. The twins need to be dropped off at your grandma’s house.”

You:

“I’ll text you later. I love you too.”

“Who are you texting?” Leah asks as she finishes cooking.

“My dad was asking if I was going home this summer.” In the time the team had, knowing you’ve only ever said that you lived in America, you dodged any other questions, so at one point they all just left it, seeing that you didn’t want to talk about it before you got there. “Are you going home this summer?” they asked.

“No, I think I’m just going to go to another country,” you told them.

They all nodded. “What country are you thinking of going to?”

You had thought about this a lot. “I was thinking Norway, Sweden, Spain, or the Netherlands. I’ve always wanted to go to those countries.” When you said “Netherlands,” Viv smiled a bit for the next 45 minutes. You all talked for 20 minutes before the food was done. It was time for the movie.

The movie starts with a girl sitting on the toilet. Three minutes later, she walks to the bathroom. Viv and Beth are sitting next to each other, and Leah is in the middle. On the end, exactly seven minutes in, it sounds like a door banging and screaming more. It feels like your heart is about to pound out of your chest. A lump in your throat starts to form.

Blood everywhere, screaming, bullets.

“I can’t breathe.” The second you say that, all three of them are beside you. Vivian lifts you up and places you in her lap. “Copy my breathing pattern.”

“Y/N, I’m scared.” The door slams open.

“They didn’t do anything wrong; it should have been me.” Your breathing isn’t slowing down. “They didn’t deserve it; we were just kids.” Beth is now standing behind you, kind of trapping you like a burrito. “Copy my breathing, kid.” You try your best to copy her breathing, eventually doing so.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your head is still on Vivian’s chest.

“I’m a twin… was a twin. The shock on their faces was something. We were identical. Lucy was 1 minute and 25 seconds older than me. She always would use that or say it was the best time of her life.” Tears were falling down your face. The girls said nothing, so you continued. “When we were 4, we moved from California to New York. Our next-door neighbors had a girl our age. Her name was Lily. She had green eyes, brown hair, and was a little bit taller than us. We became inseparable. We were in the same class. It was grade 6; we were in 4th period English with Miss Cooper. We sat at the back of her class.”

“Today we are learning about Romeo and Juliet.” Lily is to the left of you, and Lucy is to the right. “Lily, give me a pencil; I’ve forgotten mine again.”

“We were 12 minutes into the class when the first shouts could be heard two doors down from us. The screams for help were horrifying. We did everything they said to do. He was down with that class fast. He moved to the one next to us. There was a door connecting both classrooms together. We didn’t barricade it.”

The sound of the door crashing open startles everyone. Before anyone can do anything, he’s shooting randomly all over, and in 2 minutes, he’s gone.

“Lily was on the ground. She was in a pool of blood. He shot her 6 times; 2 of them hit her left lung. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. Her lungs were filling up with blood. Her beautiful face was covered in blood. She was scared. I could tell because of the way her eyes looked. She would get that look when she was scared. Lucy laid her head on my shoulder. She had been shot once, between her chest and shoulder. I remember Lily’s eyes starting to shut. I remember saying, ‘Come on, Lily, keep your eyes open for me. Keep them open.’ I remember her last words so clearly: ‘Y/N, it’s okay. It’s okay. Go be a superstar, win all the trophies. Don’t give up on your dream.’ There was another round of shots. The color in her eyes was gone. She was gone.”

“No, no, no, Lily, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Armed police rush through the door. “Everyone show hands.”

“I don’t really remember much about how I got from the classroom to the ambulance. I remember the paramedic saying that I had been shot 3 times. I didn’t even know that I had been shot. I was in shock. I remember the sirens. I remember them asking questions, getting wheeled into the ER. I was next to Lucy. I remember her heart monitor. I didn’t know what it meant except that she was alive. Within 2 minutes of being there, she flatlined. They tried to get her back, but they couldn’t. 14:25 was her time of death. A piece of the bullet had made its way to her heart. They were dead, and I wasn’t. After that, I turned to self-harm and other things. I wanted to be with them. It wasn’t until about 2 months after it all that it sank in that I had lost my twin sister and my first love in the same day

[lowspoonsgourmet]

super quick puttanesca

this is my go to 'i want to COOK but not stand up for too long' meal. It's pretty much only for people who like strong flavours. You can make it vegan by missing out the anchovies and going for a vegan pasta brand.

This is a recipe for days where you have the energy to chop things in your kitchen for up to ten minutes.

You'll need:

Your favourite dried pasta

Some black or green olives

Some anchovies (if you eat fish)

Some capers

One small onion, a small clove of garlic, dried or fresh chilli to taste, dried herbs to taste.

Olive oil

Passata OR tomato puree and water

OK, first chop up your onion, garlic, and chilli. Cook them in the olive oil for a bit. Add either some passata or some tomato puree and some water. Bung your olives, capers and anchovies and in (I use about a tablespoon of each) and then stick the pasta on to cook for a bit. Add some dried herbs if you want. Sit down and have a rest. In about ten-twenty mins the sauce and pasta should both be done. Drain pasta, put in bowl, stick sauce on top.

You can probably cook the sauce and freeze it on decent spoons days, ready to defrost and heat up for bad days.

This is really filling and high in vitamin C

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

sunday snippet

I'm Drunk and @the-navistar-carol has the next chapter of Dead draw, so heres a snippet of something:

There was only one thing about Wilhelm that annoyed Simon. One thing that got under his skin so much that he could not let it go. He could handle the messiness, and the hot-headedness, and the occasional ignorance. He could handle all of that without breaking a sweat, sometimes he even loved those things, because he loved Wille.  But the fact that Wilhelm could cook, after never cooking for himself in his entire life, annoyed Simon to his very core.  Because it didn’t make sense. Wille couldn’t clean, he couldn’t make appointments, he could barely shop for himself and the house, but for some reason he could cook up a Michelin meal without so much as a scribbled down recipe.  Wilhelm had a certain kind of intuition when it came to the kitchen. He could taste a soup and tell exactly what it was missing. He could tell if something needed pepper or if it needed salt, garlic or ginger. One time, Simon had forgotten to add a single clove into his soup recipe and Wilhelm sniffed it out like a bloodhound.  It was infuriating. 

christmas fic coming soon if I can finish it 💀

[bardsources]

𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 : 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕙 [ 𝕡𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕒 ]

❝ What can I do you for? ❞ ❝ What brings you over to this neck of the village? ❞ ❝ Funny seeing you here.. or not funny at all, since you live here too. ❞ ❝ You do know talking to me this much is going to give you a bad reputation right? ❞ ❝ You can never go wrong with soup! ❞ ❝ Couldn't get enough of my charm, huh? ❞ ❝ There’s the face I keep seeing in my dreams. ❞ ❝ Prepare to be dazzled. ❞ ❝ Oh, you’re into bad boys aren’t you? ❞ ❝ I was just thinking about you… But not in a creepy way! ❞ ❝ You missed me? I missed you. ❞ ❝ I…still don't think I'm good for you. ❞ ❝ Can we just… pretend I said something poetic? ❞ ❝ You almost make me want to stop my life of crime. ❞ ❝ Wait, you don't mind people seeing us together? ❞ ❝ Good idea, leave before the rumours start. ❞ ❝ Try not to cry too much without me. ❞ ❝ You are gonna miss me so much. ❞ ❝ You know I’m still here, right? ❞ ❝ Shh, our scandalous liaison must come to an end. ❞ ❝ I'm glad you gave me a chance. ❞ ❝ I hope you don't realize I'm a mistake once you leave! ❞ ❝ You always make me feel less… terrible. ❞ ❝ Don't wanna make things weird, but, uh, I'll miss you. ❞ ❝ And I thought I was the only troublemaker in town. ❞ ❝ It’d be a lot easier to relax if I didn’t feel like I’m always being watched. ❞ ❝ I hope my wish comes true real soon! Like, tomorrow. ❞ ❝ Bugs! I hate bugs! Like, do they have to… wriggle so much?? ❞ ❝ You have got one twisted sense of humor, my friend. ❞ ❝ I don’t actually have anything witty to say, shockingly enough. ❞ ❝ Is it a food? Is it a drink? No one knows! ❞ ❝ One of these days, I just might tell you where I go at night. ❞ ❝ Wow, look at me. Making smart decisions about my emotional health. ❞ ❝ Do you like my tattoos? ❞ ❝ I’m just a regular guy with no weird affiliations with anything… except soup. �� ❝ Besides, there’s nothing wrong with easy. Lots of good things are easy! Walks on the beach, cheese sandwiches, me. ❞ ❝ Some ingredients you just measure by heart. Like garlic. Two cloves? Pfft. Six, minimum. ❞ ❝ You know what I’m looking for in a relationship? Someone who looks past my sparkling personality and sees what’s really important… my outward appearance. ❞ ❝ You know that sunset's not the only thing around here that's beautiful. I mean… There's also me. ❞ ❝ Ya know, you've seen one sacred moon, you've seen 'em all. ❞ ❝ I'm feeling super groggy today. Even the bags on my eyes are tired. ❞ ❝ I guess… I've always had a hard time opening up to people. ❞ ❝ I mean, trusting people with what I've trusted you with, it's kind of a big burden to put on anybody. ❞ ❝ You know, I'm going to assume you're spending all this time with me just because you like my company. ❞ ❝ Now, of course, I'm a no-good untrustworthy scoundrel. So, it's quite possible I'm lying. ❞ ❝ What am I supposed to do now? Plan for my future?? Start a savings account??? Yeah, right. ❞ ❝ I'm not jealous, I know how to share. ❞

[galamalion]

˚ ୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ cupid’s revolver

⤷ ⋆ * ˖ ౨ৎ ⋆ summary﹕you confess your feelings to a certain lipstick-wearing gunslinger.

⋆ * ˖ ⋆ notes﹕hello! this is a request by @lady-winter13​ for an izou x reader! hope you enjoy!

⤷ ⋆ * ˖ ౨ৎ ⋆ pairing﹕izou x gn!reader

when you first joined the whitebeard pirates, you knew from stories what to expect. you prepared yourself to be pushed around as the runt of the litter or suffer through a humiliating ‘initiation.’ what you weren’t expecting was the kindness and love they showed you. your fellow pirates greeted you as an equal despite your lack of experience, gladly showing you the ropes.

thatch taught you how to cook, sharing family recipes and the favorite meals of each member. marco showed you the proper way to clean a wound, having you memorize the steps before going on to the next topic. jozu coached you on correct punch formation, contorting your body in uncomfortable ways to reach optimal punch velocity, though you got more bruises than knowledge from those lessons.

however, your favorite lesson by far was weapons training. firearms, to be exact. not because you were particularly interested in guns, no, you hated them. they were your favorite because they allowed you to spend one-on-one time with izou.

you’d wake up bright and early to finish your chores, swabbing the deck, doing laundry, sorting through marco’s supplies, and taking inventory for thatch. and finally, when you completed everything, you’d run up to izou, waiting for his acknowledgment. he’d always turn to you and give a curt nod, causing the butterflies that had been waiting all day to emerge, fluttering about in your stomach.

to say you had a crush on izou was the understatement of the century. whenever you saw him, your heart soared to unimaginable heights, piercing the clouds until it hit the sun, burning alongside the star with passion. there was no way to pick a favorite part of the man, but you had a list. the strands that escaped his hair tie and framed his face, the lipstick he carefully applied every morning, or the mix of his perfume and body wash that fused to create a flowery-citrus scent that lingered around him.

you could write enough things about izou to fill a short novel, but you’d never dare write them down on paper lest another crewmate finds it. while the crew was tight-knit, you knew they could be ruthless snitches, specifically marco and thatch. those two were eager to get in on any gossip they could, like reporters snooping around for the next juicy scoop. you had no intention of ever letting them know your true feelings.

the moby dick had just docked on an island, allowing the crew to make light purchases and restock any necessary supplies. you, however, were forced to serve thatch in his kitchen, grabbing whatever spice or vegetable he barked at you. only tuning into every third word he screamed, you instead thought about the gun practice you’d be having with izou tonight.

“hey hey hey!” thatch shouted, “i said three cloves of garlic, not three bulbs! are you trying to poison everyone on board!” 

you jumped, dropping the garlic onto the counter, narrowly missing the pot where thatch’s masterpiece was cooking. “sorry! i got lost in my thoughts, but I’ll be more careful, i swear!”

thatch looked at you incredulously, determining whether or not you would be a further nuisance to his culinary craft. “and what was so important that caused you to forget what a clove was?”

“well, i was…” you froze in your tracks, desperately thinking of a clever lie. you couldn’t tell thatch just anything. he’d see through you in an instant.

“...i was so hungry that i couldn’t think straight! tonight is pizza night, after all. i just couldn’t get it out of my head.”

“well, we’re not making pizza right now, so throw that pie out of your noggin and start dreaming about soup!” thatch yelled back.

internally you let out a sigh of relief. everyone on the ship eagerly anticipated pizza night, so it wasn’t too outlandish to suggest you might be excited.

“my my, is teach in here? all this talk about pies…” 

you jerked your head towards the door, looking at the new voice. but you knew who it was, even without turning your head. how could you not? that sweet dulcet voice plagued your dreams every night, not that you opposed its intrusion.

“you think i’d let that fool in my kitchen? he’d eat everything in here!” thatch shot back.

izou gave a hearty laugh before turning to you. “are we still on for practice tonight? you might miss out on pizza if we go.”

there was a lump in your throat, connecting down to your heart, resounding in your ears. all you could do was pitifully nod at the question, doing your best to give a reassuring smile.

he gave you one in kind, then turned and walked out the door, leaving you and thatch alone.

thatch slowly turned his head, eyeing you suspiciously. “...i thought you couldn’t get pizza night out of your head. you’re telling me you’d sacrifice one of my north blue-famous pies to shoot guns?”

you didn’t give thatch an answer. instead, you sprinted out of the kitchen, hearing him shouting after you. you knew he couldn’t give chase, not with his soup still cooking on the stove.

upon reaching the ship deck, you crashed by the railings, taking deep breaths. while desperately gasping for air, you felt a hand rest on your shoulder, seeing izou standing above you with a genial smile.

“done with the chef so soon? i know thatch can be pretty demanding, but this is only the second time i’ve seen someone get chased out.”

you quickly brushed your clothes, standing up. “i wasn’t chased out! i was just so excited for practice that he let me leave early!”

izou smirked at your hasty response. “well, if you’re that stoked, perhaps we should leave now?”

nodding eagerly, you followed closely behind as he left the ship, searching for a spot on the island to begin practice. he led you to a small clearing, placing a few bottles on various rocks and high points.

“now, remember what i’ve taught you. aim just a smidge above the target, not directly at it.”

you carefully pointed the pistol at one of the bottles, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself to fire.

“your stance is off,” he spoke suddenly, “feet apart, and your hand is too shaky.” izou stepped behind you, pressing his foot between yours, forcing them apart. he laid his hand on top of yours, steadying and straightening your posture.

“deep breaths now; calm yourself.” how could he ask something so unreasonable after doing something like that!? every nerve in your body worked overtime to calm down from his actions, demanding you flee immediately to stop your body from imploding. 

however, you refused to let your body ruin this opportunity of one-sided intimacy. taking a deep breath, you held the pistol up, aiming at the bottle, pulling the trigger, and letting the bullet fly.

much to your dismay, it didn’t hit the target, only scraping the rock it was sitting on. you angrily threw the gun to the ground, stomping toward the bottle and kicking it, letting out a long frustrated groan. izou reached a hand out to console you, but you stopped him.

“i hate guns!” you shouted. “i don’t like shooting them, and they’re insufferable to use!” you continued your impassioned rant, much to the shock of izou, shouting for the next couple of minutes about your distaste for firearms.

once you finished and were entirely out of breath, izou chimed in.

“then why shoot with me so often? it’s not mandatory, you know,” he said wryly.

“because of you!” you yelled back.

“i don’t force—”

“i come because I want to shoot with you! to spend time with you, because i like being with you! i like hanging out with you, listening to your bad jokes, and when you offer to do my makeup, all of it! i like you a lot, so i’ll hang around you, even if it means i have to shoot dumb guns.”

izou just stared at you, eyes wide at your heartfelt assertion. after realizing the weight of your words, you felt your entire body heat up with embarrassment and shame.

“n-not that i think guns are dumb! i just don’t like them personally! they’re very pretty, especially the ones that—”

“you…like me?”

his words barely registered in your ears as your hammering heart overpowered any outside noise. 

“well, i mean, yes— but if you don’t feel the same, we can pretend this never happened!”

silence permeated the air as you stared at each other, letting your proclamation sink in. embarrassment didn’t begin to describe your feelings, and you felt sick to your stomach.

disheartened by his lack of words and wide-eyed stare, you turned around and began walking toward the ship. it’s alright if izou couldn’t pretend, you already planned on doing your best to erase this interaction from your memory.

before you could return, you felt a tug on your hand. izou stood behind you, grasping your hand tightly and pulling you close. his expression was completely different, now sporting a determined look, eyebrows knit tightly together as he spoke.

“your declaration of love was inspiring, though i’d keep your comments on firearms to yourself, ” he shifted onto one knee, kneeling before you. “i apologize for my lackluster reaction, and i ask for your forgiveness, as you…caught me off guard. i would be honored to share my heart with you, now and forever.”

this time it was your turn to stare stupidly. you had prepared to never speak to izou again, to stomp to the boat and cry your eyes out, lamenting your big mouth. but for izou to declare that he returned your sentiments? if it weren’t for his tight grip on your hand, you’d pinch yourself to check if you were dreaming.

“...you really mean it?” you whispered, praying he was being truthful.

he stared into your eyes, unblinking. “if i am a liar, may i be struck down.”

tears of joy gently pricked your eyes as you squeezed his hands in response, beaming down at the gunslinger. izou stood, offering you his arm, which you gladly took. the two of you walked side-by-side, preparing for the cheers and jeers of your fellow pirates as you boarded the moby dick. 

a caramel pompadour peeked out from a nearby shrub, watching as you and izou walked away from the clearing.

“well, there goes 1,000 beri…you win, marco!” thatch groaned, tossing the money into the trees above.

from within the trees, a blonde man caught the sack of cash. “izou would’ve never confessed first; you know how proper he is!” marco cackled, counting his newly earned capital.

thatch sighed. “you know, you might be right,” he said, crossing his arms. “but i think we have those shooting lessons to thank. the straw that broke the samurai’s back!” thatch let out a boisterous laugh, only to be knocked over by marco.

“shaddup! they’re still close by, and i’m not going to be the one explaining why we were creeping.” marco hissed.

the doctor swiftly grabbed thatch with his talons, flying away from the island and towards the ship, all while the chef hung on for dear life. he knew he had to be fast, as he planned to be the first to congratulate you two on your budding romance.

“did you hear that?” you whispered, turning around to the fluttering bushes. izou  spun you back around, giving you a reassuring smile.

“i’m sure it was nothing, just some lousy birds, that’s all.” he chuckled, giving a quick glance towards the greenery.

izou pulled you closer, stretching his arm around your shoulder, giving you an extra layer of safety. it was something you’d dreamed of for far too long, but now you knew he’d always be by your side, no matter the trials you faced. you smiled at the thought, leaning against your newfound lover as you anticipated the new chapter of your life.

[elminx]

Winter Pesto: A Great February Pick-Me-Up

I’d be amiss to call myself the Pesto-Mystic and NOT talk about pesto sooner rather than later! As both a green witch and a kitchen witch, pesto is one of my all-time favorite things to make – it’s easy, comes together in less than 10 minutes, and always tastes AH-MAZING, am I right, or am I right?!? Plus, in the middle of the Winter, eating green food feels like shoving a hint of Summer into my mouth and I am all over that!

Though basil owns my heart and soul, during the dreary Winter months here in Southern New England, I turn to baby spinach for my pesto needs. By mid-winter I am always starved for a good meal full of vegetables that don’t look like they should have been eaten two weeks ago and this meal does the trick. I pair the spinach with a hearty nut like walnut or almond, a nice salty cheese like feta, and a healthy dose of garlic but any and all of these are up for adaptations – all that a pesto truly needs is the leaves and the oil. Winter Pesto can easily be made vegan by omitting the cheese or nut-free though both are part of the peak pesto experience for me.

My partner and I can eat pesto for days and days so this recipe will make enough for 3-4 meals depending on how much you like to eat at a time. It can easily be halved or quartered but I promise, once you’ve tasted this – you’ll want more!

There are SO many things that you can do with this pesto! You can add it to some pasta after it has cooked (like all pestos – this is meant to be a raw/uncooked sauce – just throw it in with 1/2 cup of the pasta water right before serving). You can add it to cooked meat before you serve. It’s great on cheese and crackers. It tastes AMAZING on eggs of all varieties (putting it inside an omelet is one of the only ways that I’ll actually cook it). It tastes great on baked potatoes. It can be added as a topping to many types of soup – if you haven’t had a good minestrone with pesto on top, you’re missing out!

As far as the witching goes – this pesto is GREEN. I tend to go with the overall color association and make it for abundance, growth, or money drawing – depending on what I need at the time. The garlic (if used) can add an element of protection or purification, dealers choice. The healthy dose of iron and trace minerals that you’ll get from the spinach will make you feel GREAT which really makes you know it’s working.

Making pesto is super simple, a good food processor helps but isn’t necessary. If you do make it by hand, make sure to mince the spinach and finely chop the nuts if adding. I use a food processor to keep the consistency and emulsify the olive oil. Ingredients

5 oz. Baby Spinach

1-4 cloves of fresh garlic (based on size and your tastes)

1/4 cup hearty nuts (almonds or walnuts) – optional

1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese – optional

3-4 tbs. Extra Virgin Olive Oil Mince or finely chop (using a food processor simplifies this process) until all ingredients are uniform in size, combine with olive oil until well coated. Serve raw/uncooked. Notes: Because feta is naturally salty, I do not salt this recipe – if omitting or using a lower salted cheese in its stead consider adding salt during the processing.

Do you like my work? You can tip me on Kofi.

[nawilla]

My Spring Project: Strawberries

I have ordered materials for my Spring Project, a new planting tower of strawberry plants.

I have ordered the following:

25 bare root strawberry plants

(I actually bought mine from Burpee, but the darn link was not formatting correctly).

I chose a day neutral variety that will grow in my zone (6), because I don't want to miss the harvest. I have joked that the June bearing plants I put in my yard when I first moved in were actually 'never-bearing' because I would always miss the window, then go to mow the yard and forget they were there and only find the harvest when the weed whacker starting hurling berries across the yard. Oops.

There are twenty five in the shipment so if a bunch die I can fill in with nursery plants and any survivors in my yard/old planter. And if they all live, I can share.

2. a new strawberry tower

I chose a seven-tiered container to keep my options open, and specifically chose one with wheels to make turning the tower easy. (It's going on a the 'landing' of my front steps, so it will have to be turned for all of the plants to get sun).

3. Plant pots

I plan to initially put the bare root plants into pots so I don't have to drag the entire thing inside if we get a cold snap, and also so I can see how many live plants I end up with before I arrange them on the tower.

I also plan to start some alyssum seeds for companion planting (as I have heard these are good). A YouTube video also said garlic was a good companion plant so I may toss some cloves in any empty spots.

Here is a YouTube video if anyone wants to join me on this adventure. They use a more expensive tower but show how to deal with bare root plants.

[citrinelavender]

Vegan Pesto

(sharing previous food blog posts, new ones are coming soon!) I am so happy to share this recipe with you! If you know me personally, then you know how much I love pesto. My love for pesto began many years ago during my youth days in Athens, Ga. I grew up having an amazing big sister who felt like it was her duty to introduce me and my younger sister to new cultures and experiences. We grew up in the southern regions of Georgia and North Carolina, so it's easy for the only thing to be on our palate is traditional soul foods like fried fish or a chicken biscuit.  Some of my favorite memories growing up was when my sister would take me to a new restaurant and she would tell me to try something new. I was never disappointed when I would try the cuisines from all around the world. It was one sunny summer afternoon when me, my sisters, and my cousin went out for pizza. We were sitting on the rooftop and looking at the menu to please our appetite. My sister suggested we put pesto on our pizza. I was a little skeptical at first because there is one thing I don't mess with and that is pizza. I really LOVE pizza. I trusted her suggested and we ordered the pizza with pesto. I took my first bite and the fresh and glamorous flavor of basil was there. I remember that day so clearly because to me pesto is life changing. Moving forward anytime I saw pesto as an option I would eat it with pasta, my omelette, and sometimes just simply with bread. Traditionally pesto is not vegan because it has parmesan cheese in it. Although I am vegan I am not missing out on anything that I enjoyed prior to my lifestyle change. Everything can be veganized.  This recipe I developed is from me trying all the vegan pestos that have been created and curating the perfect pesto. Basil is packed with many health benefits and it is good for your heart chakra. The rest of the ingredients included in this recipe are healthy too, leaving you with this divine health sauce. Do yourself a favor and make this pesto, its a fun and delicious addition to make your meals extra bright with flavor. 

Vegan Pesto  Ingredients 1 cup of kale (optional) 1 cup of basil  about 2 tbsp of nutritional yeast 1/4 cup of cashews a handful of pine nuts 2-3 cloves of garlic 1 juice of a lemon 1/2 cup of olive oil salt and pepper

Instructions  1.)add all the ingredients into a food processor. (can use a mortar and pestle or a good blender)  add more basil if you aren't adding in anything like kale or spinach. 2.)the olive oil amount is a give or take so add as much to make your pesto thinner or less to give it more of a rustic texture. 3.)also you can have fun with the spices, I sometimes add a fun spice blend to take the flavor to another level. 4.)once you blended your perfect batch of pesto enjoy it with pasta or add it to one of your favorite breakfast meals.

[timetraveltasting]

NANBAN RYŌRI & NAMASU NO BU (SHOGUN MEAL, 17th c.)

Having recently returned from my first ever trip to Japan, I was super excited to try my hand at this next Tasting History recipe: Nanban Ryōri and Namasu No Bu, elements that, together, make up an example of a Shogun meal from the 17th century. The recipe for Nanban Ryōri comes from The Southern Barbarians' Cookbook, which was a cookbook written in the 17th century (or earlier) in Japan to describe Portuguese and Spanish dishes which were entering Japanese cuisine at that time, making it unique among premodern culinary writings in Japan. "Nanban" culture entered Japan along with Christianity before enforcement of the national seclusion policy of the Tokugawa Shogunate in the early 17th century, and at this time, many quintessentially Portuguese dishes and foods became part of Japanese dishes and food culture (tempura also stems from this influence!). This shogun meal includes two different preparations of white rice, one plain and one seasoned with a mixture of Japanese and European flavors, like dashi and cloves, showing how ingredients from both Japanese and European food cultures were used together to form a complete meal. The typical meal for a shogun or samurai wasn’t much different from what everyone else ate. There was usually soup, fish, and pickled vegetables. The rice you ate would depend on your class: polished (white) rice for the elite, brown rice for the wealthy, and millet for everyone else. The quality of some of the ingredients could vary depending on your status, but the basic components were the same. See Max’s video on how to make this dish here or see the ingredients and process at the end of this post, sourced from his website.

My experience making it:

As usual, I halved the recipe. Because I couldn't find gobo (burdock root) in any grocery stores near me, I omitted it entirely. The rest I sourced at my local Asian supermarket. I made a couple other small changes to the ingredients, like using powdered ginger instead of minced ginger, and using saffron to colour the stock instead of the dried gardenia fruits, since I also couldn't find those anywhere. For the bowl of white rice to accompany the dish, I used the same Baldo rice from the Acem Pilavi recipe last week. If you're wondering what I seasoned this rice with, it is my newly-discovered favourite Japanese seasoning, which I brought back from our trip to Japan: Yukari (shiso rice seasoning). Not sure if it is historically of the time, but it is so tasty!

First, for the namasu dish: I started off by chopping the daikon into strips and dissolving the sugar into the rice vinegar. I heated the vinegar and sugar up on the stove and added in the kombu, the dried, salted seaweed rehydrating nicely. My scatter-brained self having already somehow missed several of the instructions (salting the daikon and squeezing out its juices, namely), I strained the rice vinegar into a container and added the daikon strips. They were just submerged, as planned. At this point, I realized my mistakes, so I haphazardly scattered a pinch of salt on top of the submerged daikon in an effort to fix things. I tossed it in the fridge to chill, and I re-read the instructions once more. It was then I found out I was meant to chill the pickled mixture for 24 hours. It was already approaching dinner time, and I was not going to wait until tomorrow to make this meal, so I accepted that my pickled daikon might only get four hours to marinate. Always pre-read the recipe - my lesson to take away!

Next, for the nanban ryōri: I dissolved the dashi powder into a pot of water, then added two large chicken legs. I brought it up to a boil, then turned the heat down so that it was just lightly simmering. I skimmed the foam off as it arose, and simmered it for 2.5 hours, which gave me time to cook the Baldo rice, prepare the polished rice (washing and mixing it with ginger, garlic, pepper, clove, and green onion), and chop the pickled daikon (not the one I made, but the store-bought one). When the chicken and broth had finished cooking and simmering, I removed the chicken onto a cutting board and strained the broth, just with a normal strainer since I don't have a cheesecloth. I then added some saffron powder to 'yellow' the broth. I didn't bother letting it steep for 30 minutes, because I think the saffron dissolved pretty quickly. I added the polished rice to a pot and then added all of the broth, which was a little more than Max suggested, but I figured I could always cook it a little longer if needed. I closed the lid and let it steam for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, then took it off the heat to steam 10 more minutes. During this time, removed the chicken bones and sliced the meat - it was perfectly tender and completely cooked through. It basically fell off the bone! I also used this time to take the vinegared daikon out of the fridge and remove the daikon from the vinegar. Once the rice was finished cooking, I began plating everything. This took awhile, because I had my heart set on using our new Japanese crockery and chopsticks! I seasoned the Baldo rice with the yukari seasoning, arranged the chicken on top of the yellow rice, chopped a few green onions to put on top, and shook a few black sesame seeds on the chicken. For a garnish on top of the namasu, I put a little of the kombu seaweed. Altogether, the meal looked wonderful plated up - I could easily see this being served in Japan!

My experience tasting it:

My chopsticks reached first for the namasu, the daikon strips. I was worried they hadn't had long enough to marinate in the vinegar, but, boy, was I wrong. They were pretty sour, and just a tiny bit salty. If anything, I think they might have sat in the vinegar too long! I was glad I hadn't let them sit in there for 24 hours; I think that would be overkill. Despite the sourness, they did taste alright, though. Next, in order to compare, I tried the store-bought pickled daikon, the yellow-ish one. This one tasted much sweeter, definitely more palatable and to my liking. One thing I love about daikon is the satisfying crunch! Finally, I decided to dig into the star of the show, the nanban ryōri: the chicken was super tender, both the white and red meat, and went with the rice beneath it really well! The green onion and black sesame seeds added a nice extra flavour. I must say, however, the rice did taste strongly of saffron, and I think I may have altered the dish too much in the direction of European flavours instead of the Eastern flavours the dried gardenia fruits may have added. The rice somehow tasted almost medieval European - which I don't think is how this dish is meant to taste according to the recipe and how Max described it. Still, it was yummy, and my husband and I ate all of it. Lastly, I had some of the Baldo rice with the yukari seasoning. The seasoning added a lovely saltiness to the rice - can't go wrong with yukari, in my opinion! Overall, I was happy with how the meal tasted, and so was my husband. I will say that the nanban ryōri did not taste very Japanese, especially in terms of flavours, but I suppose that makes sense, seeing as this dish is specifically showing how to make recipes brought by the Portuguese. The daikon, in both forms, was delicate in texture and strong in flavour, and went nicely with the Baldo rice as a side. Of course, the preparation and cook time for this shogun meal was very long, and while we enjoyed eating this meal, I wouldn't say it is so tasty that it is worth the long cook time. As a result, I probably will not make it again, but I will definitely buy that pickled daikon again! I really look forward to try making more Japanese recipes going forward, provided I can source the right ingredients. If you end up making this dish, if you liked it, or if you changed anything from the original recipe, do let me know!

Links to harder-to-find ingredients:

Kombu

Dashi

Dried Gardenia Fruit

Nanban Ryōri original recipe (17th c.)

Sourced from Nanban Ryōrisho (The Southern Barbarian’s Cookbook) (17th c.).

Nanban Ryōri Boil a chicken to make a broth. Color the stock with gardenia. Add black pepper, a bit of clove, ginger, garlic, and green onion to well-polished rice. Cook this in the stock. Place pieces of the chicken over the rice.  

Modern Recipe

Based on the recipe from Nanban Ryōrisho (The Southern Barbarian’s Cookbook) (17th c.) and Max Miller’s version in his Tasting History video.

Ingredients:

Namasu no Bu (Lightly Pickled Vegetables)

1 1/2 cups (350 ml) rice vinegar

1/3 cup (65 g) sugar

Small piece of kombu* (dried seaweed)

1 large daikon (Japanese radish)

2 pieces of gobo (burdock root)

2 teaspoons salt

Nanban Ryōri (Chicken with Seasoned Rice)

2 tablespoons dashi powder**

3 quarts (3 L) cold water

2 lbs (1 kg) mixed chicken pieces with bones, or a whole chicken cut up

4 dried gardenia fruits***

1 1/2 cups (300 g) Japanese white rice, or other short grain rice

A large pinch of black pepper

A regular pinch of ground clove

1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

1/2 teaspoon minced ginger

2 teaspoons chopped green onion

Chopped green onion, for garnish

Black sesame seeds, for garnish

Cooked plain white rice, for serving

Pickled daikon, for serving

*Kombu is dried seaweed with tons of umami. It has a natural, white, salty powder on it, which is where most of the flavour is, so don't wash it off.

**Dashi is an umami-rich soup stock that is a staple in Japanese cooking. It's usually made with kombu (dried kelp) and katsuobushi (dried bonito flakes). You can make your own, or you can buy dashi powder or packets (like dashi tea bags) that you prepare with water.

***These dried fruits come from a type of gardenia that is native to Southern China. It's used to dye all kinds of things yellow, like food, clothes, and paper.

Method:

For the namasu: Mix the vinegar and sugar in a pot. Add the kombu and heat to a gentle boil, making sure all the sugar dissolves. Take it off the heat and let it cool completely.

Peel the daikon and gobo. Chop both into thin sticks, about 2 inches long.

Mix the daikon and gobo in a bowl and sprinkle them with the salt and toss to make sure the salt is evenly distributed. Let it rest for 5 minutes.

After the 5 minutes, squeeze out as much liquid as you can from the vegetables. Take the kombu out of the vinegar (save it for later), and pour the vinegar over the daikon and gobo. Ideally, you want the vegetables to be completely submerged. You can make it in a dish, but an easy way to do this is to put everything in a plastic bag and squeeze out the air. Either way, let it sit in the fridge for about 24 hours.

For the nanban ryōri: Stir the dashi powder into the water in a large pot. Add the chicken to the dashi and water and set the pot over medium-high heat. Bring it to a boil and skim off any foam and scum from the surface. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 30 to 40 minutes, or until the meat is cooked through. If you’re using chicken breast, keep an eye on it and take it out once it’s cooked, but leave the rest of the pieces that have bones in there.

Continue to simmer for another 2 hours. It should reduce to about 1 liter of liquid. Once it’s reduced, take it off the heat and strain it through some cheesecloth.

Break up the dried gardenia fruits and put them in the strained broth. Steep for 30 minutes, then strain them out. The broth should be a nice yellow.

Rinse the rice well, until the water is clear. Mix the pepper, clove, garlic, ginger, and green onion with the rice in a pot or rice cooker. Add 1 1/2 cups (350 ml) of the broth to the rice. Cook in a rice cooker or simmer it on the stove, covered, for 20 minutes, then turn the heat off and leave the lid on to let it steam for another 10 minutes.

After the rice has cooked, dish it up onto a plate. Slice some of the chicken and arrange it on top. Garnish with chopped green onion and black sesame seeds. Put some of the namasu into a small bowl. Chop up the kombu that you saved from the vinegar and put a little on top of the namasu for garnish.

Serve the dishes forth with a bowl of white rice and some sliced pickled daikon.

[fuckkbrunch]

Another cold one for a heatwave week. I was pointedly less excited for this one.

My new phone seems to be taking these title text photos like shit. Need to look into that...

Now, I'm used to gazpatcho with tomatoes. Or cucumbers. Not bread and almonds.

This should be illegal. Feels bad, man. After this photo, I realized I was supposed to remove the crusts before I soaked it, so I had to pour water over two different bowls of bread. Gross.

I bought fancy garlic from the farmers market for this one, since Tony emphasized that the garlic should be fresh. The cloves were huge, that part in the photo was just half of one.

Squeezing the water out of the bread is incredibly unenjoyable. Toss the squeezed bread in with garlic and ground almonds and blitz with fresh cold water.

Once it's pasty, pour in the oil with the machine running to emulsify. Season with kosher salt and toss it in the fridge for at least an hour.

The only required garnish was the croutons, but Tony offers a bunch of optional ones. Thinly sliced green grapes, lightly toasted almonds and fried capers. I figured since this was a pretty simple recipe on its own, that I'd do all of them.

I did them rapid fire style. First I toasted some sliced almonds in my dry cast iron. Then I added canola oil to fry the capers in. While the oil was still hot I fried the croutons. It gave the croutons a little hint of capers, which was nice. While all of that was happening, I thinly sliced some green grapes. This was the weirdest garnish.

So, fried capers look like dead flies. This must be an old-man-from-the-80's thing again.

I chilled my bowls before serving, topped with everything plus a drizzle of olive oil. And you know what? It wasn't bad. It really wasn't. The garlic and the cold grapes went oddly well together, and all the different textures of the capers, croutons, and almonds was very nice.

This definitely wouldn't be as good with any of the garnishes missing. They should all be required.

| White Gazpatcho |

Taste is a 3.5 out of 5. A bit on the salty side - even though I was conservative with the salt according to the recipe - but surprisingly tasty.

Difficulty is a 3 out of 5. I'm including all the garnishes.

Time was about an hour, plus the hour wait for it to chill.

Tony says this should be made with fancy bottled water, or at least filtered tap water. I took a risk and used straight from the tap British Columbia tap water with some ice from my ice machine, and it came out pretty good, so don't go crazy.

The only way I can accurately describe the flavour is that it tastes as if garlic bread was a cold soup, in a good way. I realize it sounds fucking gross saying it that way, but seriously. Pretty tasty for what I thought was going to be a big cold flop.

[syllarinfirinne]

Ive shared a few of these before, but my continued adventures of the Exquisite Exandria cookbook, decided to post them all with some opinions and ratings:

1.. Beer Basted Breakfast Brawts: 9/10 The slaw and butter recipes alone are incredible. Ive never been a coleslaw person, in fact long time followers might remember me railing against it at points. This slaw is fucking incredible and the compound butter makes for a *fantsatic* spread for a sweet bread. The Brawts are really good too, but theyre a very basic Soak Brawts In Beer Then Boil And Grill, of course that is good.

2. Spyre by Fire Beer Braised Brisket: 7.5/10 Fine enough oven made brisket recipe. Came out a bit on the dry side, but I think that had more to do with having a very lean piece of meat to start with. That said, I think the cook time was 4-7 minutes for searing and 3-4hrs of oven time, next time Im going to be sticking closer to 4 minuts and 3 hours. Also, the recipe says to strain out the veggies from the gravy. Dont listen to those fools, the carrots are so soft and delicious.

3. Coffee Brined Fried Chicken & Coffee Gravy: 8.5/10 Never wouldve thought to us coffee in a brine for chicken or as the main ingredient in a gravy, but holy shit this is good. The coating is a bit heavy and a little salty, but the chickent was so soft and tender, highly time consuming though because fried chicken is a lot of work.

4. Den Theyless Stew: 9.5/10 Book cost is worth it for this recipe alone. The complex flavors of the Japanese curry alongside the sweetness of the rice wine mixing with the savoriness of the beef is just incredible. Add on the dumplings and this dish is one of my favorite things Ive ever cooked. Only reason its not a 10/10 is the recipe as written doesnt have garlic or celery in it, I added 4 cloves of garlic and 2 stalks of celery and am happier for it. Also, ignore the directions, cook the meat first, remove it, then add the veggies its much easier.

5. Marquisian Street Meat & Concelatory Couscous: 8.0/10 The marinade is simple enough and makes for a fresh, herby taste on the chops (I used pork chops as opposed to lamb chops because lamb is a bit expensive) grills up quickly and easily. I recommend seasoning the meat though. 8.5/10 Couscous is something I have very little experience with but was very good and simple to make. Great option as either a side or a vegetarian meal.

6. Pocket Chicken Pot Pies: 5.5/10. Fine, nothing special. You can see from the picture that this was not an easy cook for me and I wound up having to make mini pot pies as opposed to the pocket one because I couldnt stretch the dough thin enough. Alot of my issues here were the dough, I think I started with the butter to cold...but like...the chicken soup bit was very good?

7. Bad Aim Chicken: 8.5/10 Really good. Easy enough to make and its really hard to go wrong with grilled chicken or pineapple. I personally didnt save any of the sauce for dipping and just used the entire thing as a marinade and dont think I missed anything. Highly recommend for bbqs.

8. Skaldseat Salmon & Heartmoore Harvest: 10/10 for the fish, flaky, juicy, and really well seasoned. My new way to make salmon just about every time, though I do think you could do it with fewer/no lemons if you wanted. 6/10 for the salad. Its...fine, nothing special, though the potatoes do make it a bit different for me. My biggest issue is it doesnt keep that well.

[stcnefruit]

— open starter.

status - open to all, but pls read my rules and mobile about (pinned post) first before interacting. don't like my starters. muse - iesha saeng-ah seol, adjunct professor of law/licensed attorney with private practice. bisexual, uses they/she/xe pronouns. vampire, six hundred and sixty-nine, appears twenty-nine. can default to appearance age/5+ for non-supernatural thread (if applicable). tag linked in source. wanted opposites - m/f/nb, 30+. mocs (muns/muses of color) preferred. wanted connections - colleague, friend, date they've been seeing for a couple times, that one bitch who's supposedly from a line of vampire hunters but has never actually seen an honest to fuck vampire in their life, etc, as long as it's not taboo give me all of your shit. plot - you were supposed to be discussing international law and cases and shit but it's a Sunday evening and you're at their house and now they're calling bullshit on the 'garlic repels vampires' folklore after cooking you something from the family heirlooms that you swear to God is not even an extant dish and plying you with wine???? really good wine at that???? or maybe you don't drink that's fine here just have more food and hey is it just you are they fucking with you for fun or are their canines a little longer than usual. well

— there's only so long someone can talk about trade laws and governmental disputes before their soul looks like it's fixing to crawl halfway out of their body and into the open arms of God, so they're not surprised when the conversation takes a less... formal tone after the meal. vampires, though. their weaknesses, specifically. that's one for the books. they wouldn't have pegged the other as being even vaguely interested in poking around things older than law itself. there is the arch of an eyebrow, then, hovering, the slightest tell as they listen to them continue—curious, how invested this one seems to be in what to normal people is only a hypothetical. curious, how easy it is to figure out how much of it this one thinks is not. 'mean no disrespect, love, but listen to yourself,' they interrupt, wine glass in hand, half lounged over the back of the leather sofa like a cat sunning itself in the light of the open window, ceiling to floor. of course, it's pitch fucking black outside and it's Sunday night so there is no sunning to be had, but they'll never miss the opportunity for a good comparison. (the 1975 Léoville-Las Cases vintage still decanting in the glass doesn't hurt.) 'they've said this shit for years and i've heard it all. i've been all over the fucking world, toured the west coast of Africa twice, studied in France for nine years to get my degrees'—they don't linger on that part, because if the other thinks for too long and starts calculating shit they'll realize that xe'd have to be a fucking genius to head to Europe fresh out of xir teens and still wet behind the ears—'if garlic was really the undead's kryptonite i'd have a three story penthouse and a chauffeur waiting for me in hell at this point, the amount of things i've eaten. tonight included.' xe lean over a little further, soft haze of the chandelier above xem. 1950s, vintage Murano glass, Barovier & Toso mounted flush against the ceiling, light from the corners glinting off of the edge of a fang. veneers, on a cursory glance, unless you knew what you were looking for. 'you know what i think? i think someone got pissy they couldn't eat garlic and passed it off as a vampire problem, and then never had to eat another clove of garlic in their life as a result because they were too busy making money off the rumors by selling it as a magic charm or some shit like that.' or, they were a vampire and just wanted to fuck with humans for the fun of it, she thinks, but who would she be if she gave up trade secrets just to catch the hint of another smile from her guest. terribly unprofessional, according to eomma. then again, professionalism is not what gets you a custom engraved stake to the heart on chuseok. missed by three inches, albeit, but eomma is not one to measure distance, just audacity and the nicely healed scar on her chest. no respect for the ancients, these days. // @indiestarter

[cleverhottubmiracle]

We all want to eat a balanced diet without feeling like we’re missing out on favorite foods. But who says you can’t do both? All it takes is a few simple swaps in homemade classics to lighten them up and not skimp on flavor. Top nutrition expert Joy Bauer, MS, RDN, CDN, swears by this as her recent partnership with Home Instead (an in-home senior care services company) provided the opportunity to showcase her favorite recipes that are not only flavorful but help promote longevity.  These recipes will become instant staples in your household as they’re healthier versions of beloved dishes, such as pasta alla vodka and chocolate fudge cakes. “A lot of people think that it’s too late to change your ways and start eating healthy, and that’s simply not true,” Bauer says. Keep scrolling for her comforting and nourishing recipes the whole family will devour! Weight Loss Joy Bauer’s Best Health Tips: The Best Food Change for Weight Loss Joy Bauer, one of the country’s top nutrition experts, has a passion for making healthy eating enjoyable and accessible. As a regular contributor to FIRST for Women, Joy shares her wealth of knowledge on how to use simple, delicious foods to improve overall health and vitality. Known for her approachable, friendly style, Joy has a […] Bauer’s approach to fuss-free cooking at home Whipping up yummy, nutritious meals doesn’t have to be a chore. In fact, Bauer shares her top three shortcuts that make prep a breeze and produce a delicious dish every time. 1. Opt for prepared ingredients to save time. Finding ingredients that are already prepped allows you to put together meals faster. “Try things like buying rotisserie chicken at the market or you can buy pre-chopped vegetables and fruits that are already washed and ready to eat,” she says. You may pay a little extra for these ingredients but it’s worth it for speedy and scrumptious results. 2. Utilize convenient gadgets and appliances. Bauer says she loves “ all the gadgets that make healthy eating more accessible and approachable and less fussy.” Some of her favorites include the slow cooker and air fryer as they’re versatile for sweet or savory dishes. Also, sheet pans because it’s easy to bake meat, veggies and other ingredients on a single tray to create a whole meal. 3. Make a dish once and eat it multiple times. Meal prepping is the ultimate way to have prepared dishes stashed away so they can be reheated when you’re ready to enjoy them. “Make a recipe that yields four to six servings, and then freeze the extras in individual or couple-sized portions,” she explains. “The idea is to create a healthy takeout kitchen in your freezer so that you put in the effort once, but then the payback is ginormous.” Food Joy Bauer's Top 5 Strategies to Boost the Nutrition of Your Grocery Cart The way you shop while at the grocery store sets you up for healthy, happy eating, says TODAY nutritionist and FIRST contributor Joy Bauer, M.S., RDN. We all know that the supermarket can be an overwhelming place, and it is incredibly easy to get sidetracked by the plethora of delicious options. But, those tasty treats […] Bauer’s 3 delicious recipes that help promote longevity Here, you’ll find three satisfying recipes from Bauer that provide a boost of vitamins, minerals and nutrients that your body will thank you for later! (Bonus: Check out Home Instead’s blog for more healthy aging recipe insights.) 1. Penne Alla Hummus Joybauer.com Creamy, dreamy, quick and easy—this pasta dish delivers all the comfort food feels with a surprising twist: hummus! Ingredients: 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 2 pints grape or cherry tomatoes, (4 cups total) 4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced 1 medium red bell pepper, diced into ½ to 1-inch pieces 1 tbsp Italian seasollie 1 tsp kosher salt 8 to 10 ounces roasted pepper hummus, (1¼ cups) ½ tsp crushed red pepper flakes, optional 1 (14 oz) box penne, cooked and drained Fresh basil, thinly sliced, for optional garnish Directions: Active: 5 mins Total time: 40 mins Yield: 6 servings Heat oven to 375°F. Drizzle the olive oil along the bottom of a 9-by-13-inch (3 quart) oven-proof casserole pan. Add tomatoes, garlic, bell pepper, Italian seasoning and salt, and mix until everything is well combined. Make a small well in the center and add roasted red pepper hummus. Cook for 30 to 35 minutes or until tomatoes start to burst and peppers start to caramelize. Meanwhile, prepare pasta according to the package directions. Reserve ⅔ cup of starchy pasta water (this is in case you’d like to add some to your final sauce for a moister consistency). Drain pasta and set aside. Remove pan from oven when done cooking, and using the back of a wooden spoon, smash tomatoes, garlic, and peppers, incorporating them into the hummus to create a creamy sauce. Add the cooked pasta in small batches, and mix until well coated (you wil not need the entire box of pasta; I typically use only ¾ of the box for a saucier finish) adding a splash of cooking liquid if needed for extra moisture. Garnish with fresh basil, crushed red pepper flakes for heat, and optional cheese, if desired. Serve immediately. 2. Sheet Pan Chicken and Veggies Joybauer.com This easy sheet pan supper is a weeknight win—everything cooks on one pan, which means less mess, less stress and more flavor! Ingredients: For the veggies: 4 to 5 cups broccoli florets, break larger ones into bite- sized pieces 1 (12 oz) bag green beans  ½ tsp kosher salt ½ tsp ground black pepper Olive oil spray For the marinade & chicken: ¼  cup olive oil or avocado oil 3 tbsp lemon juice 1 tbsp Italian seasoning 4 to 5 garlic cloves, minced (or 2 to 3 tsp garlic powder) 1 tsp kosher salt 1 tsp ground black pepper 4 boneless, skinless medium chicken breasts, (6 oz each) Directions: Active: 10 mins Total time: 40 mins Yield: 4 servings Preheat your oven to 400°F and mist a large baking sheet with nonstick spray. Spread broccoli and green beans in a single layer on the sheet. Mist the veggies with olive oil spray, then sprinkle with ½ tsp salt and ½ tsp black pepper. Roast ni the oven for 15 minutes. Make the marinade and prep the chicken: While the veggies are roasting, whisk together the olive oil, lemon juice, Italian seasoning, garlic, 1 tsp salt and 1 tsp black pepper in a bowl. Add the chicken breasts, tossing to coat. Let them marinate while the veggies finish roasting. After 15 minutes, remove the veggies from the oven. Push the veggies to the sides of the pan, clearing 4 spaces for the chicken. Lay the chicken breasts directly onto the hot pan to get a nice sear. Pour any extra marinade evenly over the chicken pieces. Return the pan to the oven and bake for another 15 minutes, or until the chicken reaches an internal temperature of 165°F at its thickest part. Remove from oven and garnish with optional fresh herbs (like parsley or basil). 3. Two-Ingredient Chocolate Fudge Cakes Joybauer.com I’m excited to share this delicious and fuss-free recipe for 2-Ingredient Chocolate Fudge Cakes. Ingredients:  2¼ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted 1 cup pumpkin puree Directions: Active: 5 mins Total time: 2 hrs, 5 mins Yield: 10 servings Prepare a standard muffin tin: add paper liners to 10 (of the 12 muffin) compartments I( like to double up on the paper liners for extra sturdiness. No need to mist with oil spray). Set aside. Melt the chocolate chips using a double boiler or using the microwave method (see recipe notes below). Mix in the pumpkin puree and stir until the mixture is smooth and creamy without any streaks of pumpkin. Divide the batter among the 10 paper liners, smooth the tops using the back of a spoon and give the muffin tin a few taps on the counter to flatten out the cakes. Place in fridge to firm for 2 hours or more. Serve with optional berries and dark chocolate shavings. Read on for more tasty and healthy recipes: Try This Cottage Cheese Chicken Salad Recipe for a Light, Protein-Rich Twist on the Classic Try the Healthy Goddess Orzo Salad from Danielle Brown’s Cookbook ‘Life Changing Salads’ Citrus Salad Is a Feel Good Dish That Preps in 10 Minutes: Try These 2 Sweet and Fruity Recipes Source link

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We all want to eat a balanced diet without feeling like we’re missing out on favorite foods. But who says you can’t do both? All it takes is a few simple swaps in homemade classics to lighten them up and not skimp on flavor. Top nutrition expert Joy Bauer, MS, RDN, CDN, swears by this as her recent partnership with Home Instead (an in-home senior care services company) provided the opportunity to showcase her favorite recipes that are not only flavorful but help promote longevity.  These recipes will become instant staples in your household as they’re healthier versions of beloved dishes, such as pasta alla vodka and chocolate fudge cakes. “A lot of people think that it’s too late to change your ways and start eating healthy, and that’s simply not true,” Bauer says. Keep scrolling for her comforting and nourishing recipes the whole family will devour! Weight Loss Joy Bauer’s Best Health Tips: The Best Food Change for Weight Loss Joy Bauer, one of the country’s top nutrition experts, has a passion for making healthy eating enjoyable and accessible. As a regular contributor to FIRST for Women, Joy shares her wealth of knowledge on how to use simple, delicious foods to improve overall health and vitality. Known for her approachable, friendly style, Joy has a […] Bauer’s approach to fuss-free cooking at home Whipping up yummy, nutritious meals doesn’t have to be a chore. In fact, Bauer shares her top three shortcuts that make prep a breeze and produce a delicious dish every time. 1. Opt for prepared ingredients to save time. Finding ingredients that are already prepped allows you to put together meals faster. “Try things like buying rotisserie chicken at the market or you can buy pre-chopped vegetables and fruits that are already washed and ready to eat,” she says. You may pay a little extra for these ingredients but it’s worth it for speedy and scrumptious results. 2. Utilize convenient gadgets and appliances. Bauer says she loves “ all the gadgets that make healthy eating more accessible and approachable and less fussy.” Some of her favorites include the slow cooker and air fryer as they’re versatile for sweet or savory dishes. Also, sheet pans because it’s easy to bake meat, veggies and other ingredients on a single tray to create a whole meal. 3. Make a dish once and eat it multiple times. Meal prepping is the ultimate way to have prepared dishes stashed away so they can be reheated when you’re ready to enjoy them. “Make a recipe that yields four to six servings, and then freeze the extras in individual or couple-sized portions,” she explains. “The idea is to create a healthy takeout kitchen in your freezer so that you put in the effort once, but then the payback is ginormous.” Food Joy Bauer's Top 5 Strategies to Boost the Nutrition of Your Grocery Cart The way you shop while at the grocery store sets you up for healthy, happy eating, says TODAY nutritionist and FIRST contributor Joy Bauer, M.S., RDN. We all know that the supermarket can be an overwhelming place, and it is incredibly easy to get sidetracked by the plethora of delicious options. But, those tasty treats […] Bauer’s 3 delicious recipes that help promote longevity Here, you’ll find three satisfying recipes from Bauer that provide a boost of vitamins, minerals and nutrients that your body will thank you for later! (Bonus: Check out Home Instead’s blog for more healthy aging recipe insights.) 1. Penne Alla Hummus Joybauer.com Creamy, dreamy, quick and easy—this pasta dish delivers all the comfort food feels with a surprising twist: hummus! Ingredients: 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 2 pints grape or cherry tomatoes, (4 cups total) 4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced 1 medium red bell pepper, diced into ½ to 1-inch pieces 1 tbsp Italian seasollie 1 tsp kosher salt 8 to 10 ounces roasted pepper hummus, (1¼ cups) ½ tsp crushed red pepper flakes, optional 1 (14 oz) box penne, cooked and drained Fresh basil, thinly sliced, for optional garnish Directions: Active: 5 mins Total time: 40 mins Yield: 6 servings Heat oven to 375°F. Drizzle the olive oil along the bottom of a 9-by-13-inch (3 quart) oven-proof casserole pan. Add tomatoes, garlic, bell pepper, Italian seasoning and salt, and mix until everything is well combined. Make a small well in the center and add roasted red pepper hummus. Cook for 30 to 35 minutes or until tomatoes start to burst and peppers start to caramelize. Meanwhile, prepare pasta according to the package directions. Reserve ⅔ cup of starchy pasta water (this is in case you’d like to add some to your final sauce for a moister consistency). Drain pasta and set aside. Remove pan from oven when done cooking, and using the back of a wooden spoon, smash tomatoes, garlic, and peppers, incorporating them into the hummus to create a creamy sauce. Add the cooked pasta in small batches, and mix until well coated (you wil not need the entire box of pasta; I typically use only ¾ of the box for a saucier finish) adding a splash of cooking liquid if needed for extra moisture. Garnish with fresh basil, crushed red pepper flakes for heat, and optional cheese, if desired. Serve immediately. 2. Sheet Pan Chicken and Veggies Joybauer.com This easy sheet pan supper is a weeknight win—everything cooks on one pan, which means less mess, less stress and more flavor! Ingredients: For the veggies: 4 to 5 cups broccoli florets, break larger ones into bite- sized pieces 1 (12 oz) bag green beans  ½ tsp kosher salt ½ tsp ground black pepper Olive oil spray For the marinade & chicken: ¼  cup olive oil or avocado oil 3 tbsp lemon juice 1 tbsp Italian seasoning 4 to 5 garlic cloves, minced (or 2 to 3 tsp garlic powder) 1 tsp kosher salt 1 tsp ground black pepper 4 boneless, skinless medium chicken breasts, (6 oz each) Directions: Active: 10 mins Total time: 40 mins Yield: 4 servings Preheat your oven to 400°F and mist a large baking sheet with nonstick spray. Spread broccoli and green beans in a single layer on the sheet. Mist the veggies with olive oil spray, then sprinkle with ½ tsp salt and ½ tsp black pepper. Roast ni the oven for 15 minutes. Make the marinade and prep the chicken: While the veggies are roasting, whisk together the olive oil, lemon juice, Italian seasoning, garlic, 1 tsp salt and 1 tsp black pepper in a bowl. Add the chicken breasts, tossing to coat. Let them marinate while the veggies finish roasting. After 15 minutes, remove the veggies from the oven. Push the veggies to the sides of the pan, clearing 4 spaces for the chicken. Lay the chicken breasts directly onto the hot pan to get a nice sear. Pour any extra marinade evenly over the chicken pieces. Return the pan to the oven and bake for another 15 minutes, or until the chicken reaches an internal temperature of 165°F at its thickest part. Remove from oven and garnish with optional fresh herbs (like parsley or basil). 3. Two-Ingredient Chocolate Fudge Cakes Joybauer.com I’m excited to share this delicious and fuss-free recipe for 2-Ingredient Chocolate Fudge Cakes. Ingredients:  2¼ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted 1 cup pumpkin puree Directions: Active: 5 mins Total time: 2 hrs, 5 mins Yield: 10 servings Prepare a standard muffin tin: add paper liners to 10 (of the 12 muffin) compartments I( like to double up on the paper liners for extra sturdiness. No need to mist with oil spray). Set aside. Melt the chocolate chips using a double boiler or using the microwave method (see recipe notes below). Mix in the pumpkin puree and stir until the mixture is smooth and creamy without any streaks of pumpkin. Divide the batter among the 10 paper liners, smooth the tops using the back of a spoon and give the muffin tin a few taps on the counter to flatten out the cakes. Place in fridge to firm for 2 hours or more. Serve with optional berries and dark chocolate shavings. Read on for more tasty and healthy recipes: Try This Cottage Cheese Chicken Salad Recipe for a Light, Protein-Rich Twist on the Classic Try the Healthy Goddess Orzo Salad from Danielle Brown’s Cookbook ‘Life Changing Salads’ Citrus Salad Is a Feel Good Dish That Preps in 10 Minutes: Try These 2 Sweet and Fruity Recipes Source link