#open to mutuals 💙

[labwebs]

"Uuuuurgh... Ow."

[darkestmad-er]

Dare: show us a titty pic! 🥰❤️

Challenge excepted 😜

Not that there's a lack of titty pictures on my blog... Everyone one thank @instantphilosopherartisan for taking a chance and sending a dare.

Enjoy sweetness 😘

[sierice]

bestie i am avoiding spoilers like the plague but the urge to click 'view post' is getting stronger by the second

bestie i have completely and utterly given up on not getting spoilers in fact i have actively begun SEARCHING for them. nothing can cure this horrible gaping brainrot. tragic

[desognthinking]

re: that post about mutuals, here is a response from one of your mutuals (you probably know which one) I have never been mad at you and I don't foresee myself ever being mad at you, case closed 😌

💕😌good to know my daily mutual mad-at-me chart % will never be 100%

[madame-fear]

How many children do you and Luke have?

Well... We have our daughter and heir Morgan @all-that-glitters-is-goldfish, if my wife @lady-ashfade allows me to share our daughter, we have @serxinns, and we will surely have 2 more. THE VELARYON DYNASTY WILL RULE 🗣🗣🗣💙💙💙

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

[jilixthinker]

slowly to me

=͟͟͞♡ virgin!felix × noona!fem reader

=͟͟͞♡ bestfriends/roommates to lovers

word count: 7.4K

content warning: explicit sexual content, sub!felix, soft dom!noona reader, felix is a virgin, corruption kink if you squint, mutual masturbation, clit play, fingering, cock play, dirty talk, unprotected sex (as usual), creampie, they are clueless idiots in love.

a/c: i wanted to write this for the longest time and now i am kinda nervous sharing it because it feels more personal (?) and intimate than usual. hope you will enjoy it ♡

=͟͟͞♡ please, consider reblogging if you like my works!

[00:17 AM] fefe 🧚‍♀️

noona 💙

are you awake?

please tell me you are

I can't find my keys 😪

i know it's late

don't hate me

You blink your eyes open a few times. The sound of your phone buzzing on your nightstand is insistent over the chattering noise coming from your laptop. You must have fallen asleep more than 30 minutes ago, considering that you are not familiar with the episode of the anime you are currently watching. Your fingers brush against the cover of your phone and you finally grab it with a sleepy grunt. When you unlock it, not without typing the wrong code twice, you notice that your chat with Felix is already open, a few notifications popping on the screen.

[00:18 AM] fefe 🧚‍♀️

noona 😪😪

[00:18 AM] you

where are you now

[00:18 AM] fefe 🧚‍♀️

outside 😪

noona, my savior

my only light in the darkness 💙

You force yourself to sit on the bed as you yawn. When you read the last text, you chuckle despite of how sleepy you feel. It's a little bit late to be coming back home, even for Felix, but you don't mind. Felix usually stays awake till dawn, always prone to chat and watch tv series together whenever you cannot sleep. You help each other in your own ways, yours being the responsible counterpart in your household.

You find your slippers with your feet and you finally stand up, heading outside of your room and to the corridor. It's pretty warm already this time of year, and you don't even bother putting on something over your light pajamas. It's just Felix anyway, he did see you at your worst so many times that you cannot even remember.

When you open the door, Felix is fighting with the zipper of his denim jacket. He is dressed casually, almost as if he didn't put any effort on what he was going to wear. A pink hoodie is picking out from his black slacks, and his hair is styled in a messy bun, a few locks escaping from the hair tie and covering his eyes.

"Noona, I owe you." he huffs, offering you a toothy smile as soon as you let him in.

"Don't mention it. I don't even have plans for tomorrow morning, I can just sleep in." you yawn in response, plopping on the couch and closing your eyes again.

Felix hums and throws his jacket on the nearest chair of your shared living room before letting himself fall next to you, face immediately finding its favorite place into the crook of your neck.

"How was your date?" you ask him, circling his shoulders with your arm and letting him scooch closer to you.

You feel his cold nose nuzzling against your collarbones and you chuckle, bringing your hand to the top of his head and starting to untie the loose bun. Felix puffs and you can hear his lips curving into a small pout.

"As always." he mumbles. "He was cute. Funny. He paid for my order."

You nod, and your fingers find their way up to his scalp, scratching it lightly and pulling a soft grunt out of his lips. "But..." you add, waiting for the inevitable epilogue.

"But..." he shifts from his position to lay down with his face on your lap. "- I felt nothing. He was very handsome, and smart. He was nice. I could tell he would make a great boyfriend. But I just looked at him and... I couldn't see myself kissing him, or touching him. It felt like looking at a nice painting, you know? I don’t know what is wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you, Lix." you murmur in the dark. Your thumb moves from his soft locks and start circling the plump skin of his cheek. Felix huffs again and rubs his nose against your lower stomach. He does it often, and it makes him look like a small kitten looking for some comfort. Your heart always sinks at that.

"I am serious." you continue. "Feelings cannot be controlled. It's not your fault if you didn't feel attracted to him. Maybe he just wasn't the one."

Felix looks at you from his position, his big pleading eyes are a little tired.

"And who will be the one, noona? I am 23 and I didn't find a single person yet. I didn't even... you know." Felix lets out a sarcastic chuckle. "Can you tell how hard is it to reach this age without experimenting with anyone? I feel left out."

"Does it bother you so much? Being a virgin?" you ask him. Felix and you are used to talk a lot about everything without any sort of embarassment, but he only mentioned the topic of his inexperience a few times in your many years of friendship.

You didn't believe him at first. Felix was... Felix. The most precious human being on earth, smart and kind, generous and funny, witty and reliable. Your bestfriend, your proclaimed soulmate, and the prettiest person you've ever seen. Him being a virgin sounded like a joke to you. He confessed it when he was 18 at the time, and he was a little tipsy after a few bottles of beers you two had shared after moving into your new apartment. You could tell it was an uncomfortable topic for him, and you never asked him again. You just told him that he was young, and that the situation would change quickly in the following months.

But years passed, five to be exact. And Felix didn't have sex with anyone. He finished college, started working and met people, he started dating even, but as soon as the people he was seeing asked him for something more, he shut everything down and disappeared from their lives.

"It does bother me, yes." he answers quietly. "Because I am not afraid of intimacy itself. I just... don't feel the right attraction. I want to, but I can't. All these pretty boys I met, and the furthest I've gone is kissing. I don't know what to do, noona."

Felix shudders and you pull him closer to you. His voice is almost a whisper and his breathing is getting a little heavy. Your fingers go back to stroke through his hair gently, as you try to calm him down.

"Have you considered dating girls?" you ask him. "You told me you felt more comfortable with them."

Felix's arms circle your waist as he hugs you tight. He looks at you intently with a shy smile. He looks so tiny all curled up like this.

"I do love girls. More than boys actually. I thought about that a lot." He murmurs as he pulls you so close that your stomach is pressed completely against his cheek. "But I feel shy around them. I cannot help but thinking that I would mess everything up. With boys... it would be easier. I know how a male body works. But I have no clue on how to, uh —"

You chuckle at his words and you lean forward to pinch at his nose, amused by his reaction. "How to touch them?" you smile at him.

Felix laughs and lets out a breathless sigh. He pulls away slightly, though keeping his eyes locked on you. You can see a light blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.

"Uhm, yes. That." His voice is still playful, but you can hear the nervousness in his breath as well. "You know I have never kissed a girl before. Just boys. Uh–, I know nothing, noona." he exhales.

You scrunch your nose and you let yourself relax against the sofa behind you. Felix's arms are still linked tightly around your waist. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Lix," you breathe out. "Human nature will do its thing. When you'll find yourself in that situation, your body will know what to do."

"I'm not so sure." he murmurs, starting to rub his nose against your hipbone, sniffing at the fabric like he always does when he is feeling a little overwhelmed.

Your hand finds its way toward the back of his neck and you apply a slight pressure on the skin there. Felix lets out a shaky breath.

"You will see. With the right person, you won't feel uncomfortable at all. It's normal to don't know stuff, you know. We've all been there. And each body, each person, is different. You can figure things out along the way, by asking and learning." You try to reassure him. "It's not a performance. You should just focus on feeling good and let the other person feel good too. I promise it's not so complicated as you think."

Felix hums quietly and a mellow silence falls around you. The room is still dark, it should be around 1 a.m. now, but a beam of moonlight shines through the window, reflecting small glimpses of silver upon Felix's hair.

Felix feels small and soft on your lap. He is still hugging you, and you know him enough to sense that he is restraining himself somehow. You can feel the distress in the way his tiny hands are fisting the cotton of your pajamas around your waist.

"Lixie, sweetheart..." you murmur, voice little higher than a sigh. Felix holds tighter on you, as if he is scared of you running away. As if you could.

The fact is that you love Felix. You always did, in a way. You cannot tell exactly when you fell in love with him, but it happened sometime between your last year of highschool and your freshman year of college. You remember Felix grabbing your hand when you graduated in summer, sweat under your dress from being exposed to the hot sun, waiting for your speech. You remember him intertwining your fingers and smiling at you with devoted eyes when he helped you moving in your new dormitory. You remember him wetting your shoulder with warm tears because you were going to be separated from each other for the first time. And, oh. At a certain point you just knew.

You never talked about that, of course. You didn't think you needed to. Things between you were perfect already, and you were happy you've managed to slip neatly into your routine. Felix needs you in a way nobody else can comprehend. And you need him too, in a slight different way. And it's okay, you've always been good at managing your own feelings.

"Noona..." he answers timidly.

"What are you thinking about? I can hear the sound of your brain working no stop." you shrug, looking at him. The moonlight looks the ideal light to admire him, you find yourself admitting.

Felix looks over at you, his lips upturned with a reluctant smile. "It's just... I don't think I will ever find this person." he sighs softly.

"Why so? I cannot imagine anyone who wouldn't want to be with you. You are perfect." you say, eyes jumping down to Felix's delicate frame. His button nose covered in freckles scrunches a bit over the line of his plump lips. They look moist. They must be soft.

From his gaze, you can see that your words are the last thing Felix was expecting to hear from you. "Because–" he stutters while the pressure of his hands on you becomes almost too much, "–there is already... ugh, nevermind."

The silence that follows his semi-confession is heavy on you. You freeze at the admission, and you can tell from his eyes that he didn't mean to let that slip. That's it – you think – there is someone. Someone who Felix cares about, maybe that he even loves, and that is keeping him from living his life freely. Someone who apparently doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, given that Felix is trying to see other people and complaining about them with you.

Fuck, that hurts. You could have seen it coming, but it still hurts.

You open your mouth to formulate any sort of coherent words of encouragement that you can master, but Felix decides to move from his position at the same time you shift on the sofa to look at him. The impact of your bodies gives gravity a push, and you both go down with a loud humph, landing on the couch with your limbs all entangled. Felix groans as his back collides with the leather, and you open your eyes to check up on him, only to stop as soon as you realize how close you are to each other.

His lean and warm body is all pressed up against the cushions, and suddenly any trace of stoicism has fled the situation. You don't even remember what you were going to say, to be honest. All you are conscious of is Felix's body and the way his eyes are looking at you, making you flush with an unknown tenderness. You take a deep breath and the realization that you can feel his parted thighs caging your hips and his arms pawing at your shirt hits you hard. And maybe it's the late hour, maybe it's because you've spent the last hour talking your hearts out – and the last years repressing your feelings –, or maybe it's because Felix looks so vulnerable like this.

Whatever it is, instead of laughing everything off and move from this awkward position, you keep looking at him as some strands of hair fall onto his forehead and his breathing gets a little quicker. You find yourself thinking that maybe this is the most beautiful Felix has ever looked.

"Noona." he murmurs, and you can feel how the air shifts around you. His make-up is a little bit smudged around his eyes, you notice, and you lift your hand to rub at the corner of his eyelid with your finger. Felix trembles lightly as you touch him, and desire tugs at you, pushing you towards a path that you know is not wise.

"Noona–" he breathes out again, this time not much louder than a whisper. "I want to try something."

"Felix," you say unsteadily as Felix's hand grabs at your pajamas a little more firmly. "This isn't a good idea."

"Why so?" he asks, voice all tiny, shifting closer to you anyway. Everytime you try to look away from his lips it's like your eyes have been glued in place. "You said that with the right person it wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I– you.. I don't feel uncomfortable with you."

You sigh at his words. You are sure there is almost a thousand reasons why you shouldn't be doing this. First of all, Felix doesn’t love you. Not the way you do, at least. And he is hurting now, he is sad. He is not in the conditions of taking such a decision. But you can hardly manage a coherent thought right now, with him being this close to you.

He doesn't like you back, you cannot do this.

"Felix, I am honored that you trust me this much. I really am." you manage, but your voice sounds faint. "But this is not the right thing to do now. You don't want it to happen this way."

At that, Felix pauses and looks at you. He bites his lip, as if he was looking for the right words, and his eyes looks different, almost watery. "Don't you..." he stutters, "am I not good enough?"

You blink in confusion and a thick layer of guilt fills your stomach to the brim. You hate seeing Felix in distress, you cannot stand the way his timid smile leaves his face. You would give him the moon if that would make him happy.

"Oh no, Felix, sweetheart," you confess, bringing your hand to cup his cheek. The freckled skin feels soft and warm under your fingers. "this is not what I meant. I just– fuck," you swear in protest. "I just don't think I am the right choice. You deserve the right person for this."

Felix’s gaze fractures and he suddenly lets out the tiniest sigh, a pleading look framing his delicate traits. He turns his face to the left, leaning on your touch and he rubs his nose on the palm of your hand.

"Noona, you are not the right person. You are my person." He shyly admits, voice muffled on your skin. "But I can understand if you don't want this. If you don't want me the way I do. I am sorry for bringing this out, I should have kept that for myself."

You freeze, guilt becoming dread and pooling on your stomach. Oblivious to any of this, Felix gives you a small, sad smile and continues, "I tried to ignore it, believe me, I did. I kept myself from feeling this much because I knew it wasn't the same for you. But I can't help it, noona. I started seeing other people in the hope that it would eventually fade away. But it didn't. And now I am making a fool out of myself." Felix looks over at you and his smile is not the one you are used to see on his face. "Sorry for ruining everything," he sighs, "I just love you."

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

You feel a fist of air being pushed out of your lungs like a truck. Felix's eyes are big and sweet, and a single tear escapes from his lashes to roll down the apple of his cheek. You fucked up. You fucked up so bad. You misunderstood everything. Guilt nestles in your chest like a stone, scraping at your heart.

"Felix," you say, your voice sounding foreign and groggy, "Felix. You love me? You love me?"

Felix's eyes jump down to your lips just for a second, and then back at you. He sniffs as he brings his free hand to his face, rubbing the tear away. "I do." he admits. "I really do."

The truth in his tone has you let out an inaudible gasp. Then, in the span of a second, just the time of a blink, everything changes.

"Say it again." You whisper as your eyes lock into Felix's. And then Felix opens his mouth, just barely, and his muttered words stay still on the tip of his tongue.

"Say it." You repeat as your thumb shifts, stroking slowly along his jaw and down to his chin. "Wanna hear it again."

Felix blinks, and he looks like he can't come up with something to say at all. "Noona, what are you, uh–" he gasps when your fingers catch his bottom lip, pinching it a little to enjoy its softness.

"Lix, sweetheart..." you whisper, letting your face fall slowly down to his neck. The insides of your tighs press against the outside of Felix's as to trap him there. "You want me, uh? You love me?" you tease him, your hand coming up to steady him by the chin, keeping him still while your mouth finally founds the tender skin of his neck and you place a single peck under his earlobe. "I wanna hear you saying it."

A weak whimper makes itself known at the bottom of Felix's throat when you angle your head to the side and leave a humid trail of kisses all along the column of his neck. "Noona, I... why are you – ah – why are you doing t-this?" he mutters with a sigh.

You grin against his skin at the sound of his affected voice, and you nose at his chin blowing another tiny peck there. "Just say it." You repeat.

Felix's eyes are semiclosed now, but his pupils are wide and dark, and your grip on his jaw tightens a bit. Just another wet kiss on his Adam's apple is sufficient to convince him to give you what you're asking for. "I want you." He grumbles as his legs start to tremble under your weight. "I love you." He breathes.

And that's it. Felix doesn’t have the time to even realize what is going on before you are pressing down with purpose, your lips firm against his and your hands buried in his hair as he lets out a tiny sob. His mouth is cherry red and sweet, and your lips slid against it, applying just the right amount of pressure to have him melting against the couch. The kiss feels almost electric, and the low groan Felix exhales bubbles up into the back of your throat.

Felix is soft, and his body becomes malleable and pliant beneath your touch as soon as he clings onto you with fervent hands, a little desperate to keep hold of how good he is feeling. He moans beautifully every time your lips detach from his to catch some breath, and his fingers find your face too, curling against your cheeks and keeping you close to him.

As soon as your tongue licks languidly at his bottom lip, his mouth opens up to let the warm muscle slip into his mouth with a low grunt. You can feel that Felix is not experienced in the way he is unable to do anything but tremble with pleasure in the bracket of your arms as your lips glide against his, slick and wet. He lets out another whimper when your tongue licks at the roof of his mouth and your head feels dizzy and heavy with desire.

You cannot remember the last time you felt this good and this right, to be honest. Felix’s confession is still lingering in your brain as your hips press against his in a swift movement, coaxing a soft moan out of the boy under you. You smile in the kiss, feeling as if everything in the universe is finally in its designed place and, at the same time, all condensed in the way the two of you are wrapped up in each other so tightly that you can’t keep track of where one of you starts and ends.

Reluctanly, you force yourself to separate from Felix's tender mouth just a few millimiters. "Lix, baby," you whisper lovingly on his lips. "You have no idea how long I wanted to do this."

"Y-you wanted this?" he pants, parting his legs more and allowing you to slot your body inbetween of them. His breath is sticky and hot and you feel yourself getting restless on top of him.

"Sweetheart. You have no idea how much I love you. How much I want you." You confess.

"But... but you've never–" he stutters under your gaze. "Oh God, don't tell me we've been this stupid!"

You chuckle and nod slowly. "Apparently, yes, we have been." You smile, and your chest is so full of fondness and love that it's hard to breathe. "And we wasted a lot of time. But at least we're here now."

Felix nods timidly and you lean in again, this time just kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin under his chin. You move closer to Felix's ear and then back towards his jaw. He starts to breathe harder, hands clutching the shirt of your pajamas, and his thumb brushes against the hardened nub of your nipple, making you hiss quietly.

Felix moans when you start licking at his lips again.

"Good?" you ask, smiling against his skin.

Felix nods. "Yeah. Y-you can keep going."

You comply, because you could never deny anything to him. You softly suck his upper lip between your teeth and let it go with a loud pop. Then you move to his neck again, and you bite him carefully a few times until Felix starts to squirm beneath you. The thought that you are the first person, the first woman, doing this to him has heat rushing to your face and you wonders if Felix wants to do more, or if he wants to keep things over the clothes. You are okay waiting. You've waited for years.

"Can I… can I ask you something?" he stutters when your hands find his hips and you start caressing them in tiny circles.

"Of course, Lix. You can ask me anything." you reassure him, rising your head from the crook of his neck and looking at him fondly.

"You know what we were talking about before," he breathes shyly, eyes big and teary. "I wasn't able to do anything with all the people I dated because... they were not you," he admits. "and – uh, I don't know how to say this. It's embarassing."

Felix sighs as he tries to hide his face behind his hands, but you stop him by grabbing his wrists.

"Do you want to try? Now?" you ask calmly, ignoring the burning lava that is flooding into your veins at the thought of having Felix like that, just for you.

Felix nods again, all soft and timid. "I wanna try. With you." He mutters as his hips buck involuntarily against yours for the first time. And that's when you notice that Felix is hard under you, cock stirring to life when you grind down into him as a response to his movement. "B-but I don't know anything, noona. You have to show me."

You hover your face over Felix's for a moment, searching something into his eyes before diving in again for a kiss. Felix hums languidly against you and you pull his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it before letting it go slowly, teeth dragging. Felix groans deep in his chest and you can feel the vibrations go straight to your pussy. Then the realization that you are finally doing it hits you.

You. And Felix.

I need to stay focused, you think when you start feeling your head becoming too clouded with desire. Felix feels so tender and warm against you, and it's difficult to concentrate when your arousal begins to pool in your panties, just a few layers of fabric separating your core from Felix's poor neglected cock. The kisses get sloppier but Felix doesn’t seem to mind, and you quickly find a rhythm between the movements of your lips and the gentle rocking of your body against his.

"What do you want to do, sweetheart? You can tell me." You hum as your mouth latches again onto the spot between Felix's neck and shoulder, sucking and then soothing the skin with your tongue.

"Ah, fuck…" Felix curses when your hand finally trails down his chest and lightly grazes his cock from over his pants. He feels sensitive and overwhelmed in the best way possible, and he feels like he is losing his mind already. "W-want to touch you, noona, please. Please, I've been wanting to touch you forever."

A tiny moan escapes from your parted lips at Felix's confession and you are pretty sure that your panties are now ruined for good. You can feel the hot stickiness gluing them to your entrance.

"Okay, baby." You sigh, shifting your weight in order to lift your hips a little from Felix's body. "You can touch me. I'll show you how. Is that what you want?"

Felix pants and his fists close again on your shirt as if he's trying to steady himself. "Y-yes please. Show me." He answers, and he looks completely blissed out, hair as a messy crown around his beautiful face.

"Okay." You concede, gathering all of your weight on your right arm to pull down both your pajamas shorts and underwear with just one quick motion, air finally hitting pungently the heath of your pussy.

Felix gulps and you see his Adam's apple bobbing deliciously as he stares at the way a sticky string of slick is connecting your entrance to the cotton of your panties. You feel your core pulsing at the sight and you let the garnments fall on the ground, climbing back to Felix's body and straddling his lap.

Felix looks up to you, but his eyes keep flicking back between your face and the mound of your pussy, and you try to thrust gently against the hard fabric of his jeans, just over his hardened erection. When you rock your hips tentatively on his bulge, your clit gets caught on the cold metal of his belt, making you hiss. Your pussy throbs, releasing a gush of arousal over where Felix's cockhead should be.

"Lixie, baby." You breathe out. "Noona needs your hand for this."

Felix cheeks are as red as cherries and he hiccups at your request, nodding twice and pliantly offering you his right hand. He places it just near your thigh, not daring to get any closer to your heath without any given permission.

You smile softly at him and you wrap your thumb and index around his wrist, bringing his palm to the front of your pussy and letting it brush against the hood of your clit for just a second. "I guess you watched porn before, uh, baby?" you ask him grinding gently on his hand. "I think you know a bit about female anatomy already."

Felix sighs and a wanton moan rises from his throat when he feels your engorged clit bumping against his skin. "Y-yes, I have." He blushes.

You laugh breathily at his shyness and you let his hand slide past your front to eventually press on your labia, guiding his slim fingers to spread the wetness gushing from your hole.

"Usually I prefer to be stimulated here," you say, nudging the pad of his thumb against your sensitive bud. "In little circles." and you move your hand in tandem with him, circling your clit and trembling a little from his insecure touch. Another spurt of arousal drips from your pussy and coaxes Felix's fingers, making him moan.

"But now I want it inside." Your voice is sickengly sweet, and Felix looks like he is one step away from hyperventilating. His teeth dig on his bottom lip and he sighs in pleasure.

"Please," he whines. "Please, let me."

You roll your hips so that the tips of his fingers catch your entrance, and suddenly you sink down in just one motion. His middle and ring finger meet you halfway, and he watches your face in adoration as the two digits push into you. You let out a small whimper when his palm finds your mound again, and you finally sit on him fully.

"Ah – noona. G-god." He keens as he feels his fingers being wrapped up with your warmth.

You lift up from him, desperate for some friction, your hand still grabbing his wrist to guide him and help him. "Baby, fuck, finally." You grunt as your hips swing forward and back to create a sort of rhythm. "Wanted you like this for the longest time, you have no idea."

Felix mewls as he hears the squelching sound of his hand against your throbbing cunt. The schlick schlick is filthy and loud, and his head starts spinning. "Noona, you are so soft, so warm. Fuck, why are you so wet?" He cries, eyes big and round and locked at the way your pussy is engulfing a part of himself.

The drag of his fingers makes your head floaty and you grind further down onto his knuckles, the stretch making you want more and more.

"That's how it's supposed to be with a woman, sweetheart. We are programmed to take." You chuckle breathily as you slowly but steadily fuck yourself onto Felix's fingers. "But you are too, right? My sweet boy. You are just taking what I am giving to you, isn't it?"

Felix moans and his pads involuntarily curl upwards, brushing against your gummy spot as his head falls back, deep groans tumbling out of his parted lips. "Ah – too wet noona, too wet. I wanna, w-wanna..."

"What? What do you want, baby? Tell me, I wanna hear." You sound rightfully out of breath while you fuck mercilessly Felix's digits and you flood his hand with your juices. You shift forward to kiss him on the mouth and his palm finds your clit again, sending jolts of pleasure through your spine.

"Wanna... w-wanna be with you. Please, noona, I've waited. I need – oh, God – I need you fully. I l-love you so much, I always wanted it to be with you." He sighs against your mouth before you can slot your lips together and lace your tongue on his, sucking the wet muscle slowly until Felix is reduced as a squirming mess under you.

"Oh my sweet boy, my angel," you praise him as you try to slow down your movements. If you keep going with this pace you will cum too soon, and you want to finish together with Felix for your first time.

Felix follows your mouth and with his free hand he timidly brushes your left breast, staring at the way it bounces with every thrust of your hips on his hand. It looks mesmerized by the way your body moves and gets wet over him, preparing itself to welcome him inside even if he doesn't properly know what to do.

With a low grunt, you force yourself to stop your thrusts and you peck Felix on his tumid, soft lips. His hand falls uselessly on his hip while you balance your body on his waist to finally get rid of your last piece of clothing, throwing the filmsy shirt of your pajamas away.

Felix looks at your naked body as he if he was admiring a painting and, despite of your confidence, you find yourself blushing a little under his devoted gaze. You dreamt about this moment so much, pondering that it would never come, and now it feels almost surreal to have Felix all for you as you always wanted.

"I love you, Felix." You whisper lovingly, a tear stuck on the corner of your eye. "I love you so much."

And Felix beams. His eyes, watery with pleasure, lit up and bring a smile to his beautiful face, the face that you wished you could caress and claim as yours for so many years. "I am yours, noona. Please, make me yours." He murmurs softly.

You kiss him again, and it's hungrier this time, even more than the kisses you already shared. And then the kissing melts into licking, and then into biting, until Felix's hand finds your waist and then falls to cup your ass.

"I need you out of these clothes in 10 seconds." You mutter with a breathy sound, and Felix is fervent to obey, quickly getting rid of his pants and underwear and throwing his pink hoodie away, far from you.

When you crawl back into his lap, Felix is sitting on the couch. You find your place on his legs, straddling him until you are face to face and you can hear the sweet sound of his erratic breathing against your ear.

"I want to do it like this." You breathe out, gently nipping at his lips and then placing a small kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Wanna see you."

Felix sighs and his aching cock, now finally free from the constriction of his pants, throbs against your lower belly, spurting a gush of precum which dribbles into your navel. "I can't believe this is really happening." He hiccups, pleasure making his head feel dizzy.

You smile fondly. "Me neither." And you bring your hand down, resting your hot palm over his shaft and giving pressure until you are dragging the skin of his cock up and down. Felix melts with a breathy mewl.

Felix has a perfect cock, you think, and then you say it out loud. "You have a perfect cock, baby."

Felix gasps and he throws his head back, hitting the cushion of the couch. You can see that his face is flushed with arousal and embarassment, and that makes you feel lightheaded.

"So perfect," you continue, playing with your fingers and bringing your thumb to the engorged tip, smearing the thick droplets of precum all along his aching muscle until you graze his balls. "Perfect size, perfect girth, perfect color. You know how pretty your cock is, baby? Not too long, but chubby. I love it."

"Noona," Felix sighs painfully, thighs parting under your weight to give you more space. He looks fucked up, and you barely touched him.

"I want to play with it forever," you say, picking up your pace and jerking him fully. "And I will do it. I will touch this sweet cock all day long, making it cum so many times, making it feel so so so good."

"Please, please, please." Felix keens and throbs again on your hand, now hard as a rock and trying to stay as still as he can.

"It looks so tasty, too. Wanna slurp it in one bite." You whisper as you swirl your index on the slit of his cockhead and Felix lets out the sweetest groan you could imagine. It's so easy to pleasure him, and he responds to you so well.

"But not now," you reassure him. "Now I need you inside of me. Need you as deep as you can. Need you to be mine."

Felix forces his eyes open and his hands grip into the underside of your thighs, bringing you closer to him. You cross your arms behind his neck, slotting your lips together once again because you just can't get enough of Felix's breathy moans as you bring him to the edge with you.

"Noona, I don't, ah– I don't have a condom." He urges to tell you when you circle your hips against him and his tip catches the entrance of your pussy.

"We don't need a condom. I am on the pill, and I am clean." You pull away to mouth at Felix's neck, and you suck at the column until you are gliding your mouth over his Adam's apple. "And you are too, obviously. Don't worry about that, sweetheart. I need to feel you all hard and raw inside of me."

You kiss Felix again, breaths coming out in restless wisps, hips frantic. "Can you take it?" you ask against his lips, your right hand gripping Felix's wet cock. Felix nods, gulping loudly. With your arm reached behind you and your head dipped forward, you slap the tip against your cunt, eyes never leaving his face.

Felix swallows, and you can feel his heart racing as you nudge his cockhead against your heath, pussy clenching and unclenching for pleasure. You look at him in the eyes for one last time, and then you sink.

When Felix's tip breeches, you whimper at the stretch with you head lolled to the side. You push your hips down, taking Felix's chubby cock slowly until you’re seated on it. And, with his cock fully inside, Felix groans and tears finally spill from his eyes, wetting his cheeks and rolling down to his chin.

"Ah– oh, God, please! P-ple eh e-ease." He cries as he grips your hips so tight that he is gonna leave marks.

"Easy, baby. Easy." You pant, eyes rolling on your skull at the way the head of his cock presses perfectly on your spongy spot. Felix's tongue lolls out from his mouth, and you take the tip between your lips, suckling lightly on it before lifting your hips up and then slamming back again.

"It's too tight, too tight, too w-wet," Felix sobs, a dribble of saliva forming a tiny bubble at the top of his upper lip. You lower your head to look at the way you are taking Felix to the brim, his swollen balls resting on the curve of your ass, and you let out a lewd sound at the view.

But it's not enough, because this is Felix's first time, and you just know from the way he is trembling that he is not gonna last long, the poor angel he is. You played with him a bit too long considering his inexperience, and now you can feel him twitching inside of you, bringing you close as well with just a few pumps.

"I know, baby, I know. You feel so fucking good too. You fill me so well, look." And you take one of the hands that are gripping your hips, making it slide against your pussy to let him feel the point were you two are connected.

Felix grasps the base of his cock with his wrist and he tries to push it even deeper inside of your wet heath with a loud groan. "It's so, s-so good." He repeats mindlessly.

You gather all of your strength, gripping into Felix's shoulders in front of you and letting you knees carry your weight as you finally begin to ride his cock. You raise your ass up just to feel the tip catch at your rim only to force back down, fast and hard.

"Noona, ah– noona!" Felix grunts out, "F-fuck, I can't, I c-can't!"

At a particularly deep thrust, Felix cries out again, a slew of filthy words and many slurred versions of your name coming out of his red, juicy lips.

"Baby, Felix, baby." You moan, letting yourself fall against his chest and beginning to move your hips in circles. You feel his cock hitting deliciously at your cervix and your clit rubbing on Felix's hip bone.

"I lo-oh-ove you." Unable to help it, Felix begins to thrust up quickly, grinding his cock inside of you and smashing his warm cheek against your shoulder, as you involuntarily squeeze your walls around his shaft.

You are trying to make this last a little bit more, but a tight coil of pleasure starts to form in your lower belly, and Felix's heavy and raspy whines tell you that he is in your same conditions. "Feels so good, sweetheart. So thick and hot, you are making me cum, ah– so quick." You blabber, head feeling floaty. "Are you close too? Tell me you are close. Wanna come with you."

Felix hiccups and his thrusts become messy and erratic, cock leaking inside of you as you clench around him. "Close, close, s-so close." He picks you up by your thighs to throw you onto his cock as if you were weightless. "Can I, ah a-ahhh, w-where can I–?" he sobs out with every thrust.

"Inside, Lix, my love. Cum inside," you praise him. "So good to me. So good." And you whine as Felix fucks desperately into you, a thick layer of sweat on his freckled skin.

Two more pushes are what it takes to have your pussy clenching hard and tight around Felix, and as your clit rubs one last time against his pubic bone, your eyes roll backwards and you cum with a filthy long moan, flooding Felix's cock with your juices.

As the orgasm hits you, you smash your lips against Felix's and suffocate your whines on his mouth. As soon as Felix feels you pulsing around his drooly cock, you see him going cross-eyed. Then, he pushes almost violently into your heath and comes with one final, deep smash of his cock, filling you up.

Voice hoarse with pleasure and a little out of breath, Felix moans softly, face finding its comforting place in the crook of your neck. "I love you." he whispers.

You both stay silent for a couple of minutes, and you loll your head to the side to huff warm breaths that tickle Felix's temples.

"How do you feel?" You asks, bringing your fingers to slowly pet Felix's damp hair. You tongue feels heavy inside your mouth, and your legs muscles sting. But you are happy.

"I feel like I waited for this moment for my entire life." Felix's words are slow and shy, despite of what just happened between the two of you. You can feel him chuckling against your shoulder. "I still have to process what is going on."

"We have time." You murmur, kissing his forehead and hugging him lovingly, keeping him safe in your arms. "Now we have all the time in the world."

Felix smiles. The room is not dark anymore.

©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[yamikawas]

YOOMTAH LOVES YOU AND WILL STAB ANYONE YOU ASK HER TOO

WOULD SHE REALLYYYYYYYYYYYY<3<3<3I LOVE HER SO MUCH I THINK ITD BE ADORABLE OF HER TO STAB SOMEONE FOR ME<3<3<3<33<3<3<3<2<3333<3<<2<33<3<3<3<<3<3

[readychilledwine]

Daddy!Azriel x Pregnant!Reader Drabble

Summary - after being placed on house arrest toward the end of your pregnancy, you have lost some control on your husband, Azriel's, baby spending habits.

Warnings - mentions of pregnancy

Word count - a teeny tiny 800. Hence the choice to call it a drabble without a title 💙

Being pregnant was not easy.

You were constantly sore, tired, and had begun eating yourself and Azriel out of house and home, but you two would not change this miracle, this absolute blessing, for a single reason.

Madja had put you on house arrest this past month, asking Azriel to ensure you weren't lifting, weren't straining yourself, and were sleeping plenty. You were told by Rhysand and Feyre that your emissary duties could resume after your leave.

Despite Nesta's sacrifice, carrying a child with wings when you were wingless was still challenging. You ran out of room for the little one quickly, and being so much smaller than the average Illyrian female did not help either. The discomfort was the biggest issue, but Madja did not want to risk it. The plus side was constantly being home, relaxing, and your mate making meals, feeding you like the queen he believed you were.

The downside? Azriel had no self-control when it came to buying things for the life you two created, and you were no longer there to stop him from buying the mutual cravings you two seemed to have, countless baby supplies, and of course, the baby's first set of Illyrian Leathers. In the form of a onesie. How that even worked, you didn't ask, he was too thrilled as he held it up for you to question him.

From stuffies, to onesies, to excessive blankets from different courts, Azriel had begun purchasing everything in anticipation of his first baby's birth. All while you sat at home. Just silently watching him carry in bag after bag.

Today was a cold winter lazy day. Azriel had asked a favor of Eris, ensuring the hearths in your home burned a little brighter and warmer this year, and the Autumn High Lord was more than happy to ensure you were always warm due to the close friendship you three had formed. You snuggled further into the couch with your hot chocolate, tossing the plush blanket Kallias had sent for you over your legs, and sighed in joy. You had been thinking about this hot chocolate for hours and were practically salivating over the mountain of marshmallows you placed on top had toasted to perfection. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and Azriel gently knocking the snow off his boots before entering. 

While his shadows greeted you immediately with soft caresses on your swollen belly, Azriel had not even noticed you were there. His cheeks lightly flushed from the cool winter air, his hair ruffled from the wind. 

He was looking down at a large bag in his hands, peeping in it every often before walking to the kitchen and setting it down.

Azriel was smiling to himself, an occasional almost giggle falling from his mouth.  

"Az, what's so funny, baby?" 

Azriel looked at you wide-eyed in getting caught and threw the bag behind his back. "NOTHING!" He said loudly. "Nothing, nothing at all." He corrected, deepening his voice. "Just got our baby bat a present."

You giggled at his admiration, love, and pride he already felt toward your child. He loved them more than anything already. "Well, show me! Please!" 

His cheeks flushed, and he quickly shook his head. "You wouldn't understand. It's something we get to bond over, not you." 

You felt your lip tremble, and his eyes went wide. "I don't mean it like that, my love. I just mean it's something I-" his eyes softened when the first tear fell. "Angel, don't cry." Azriel walked to you with the bag, placing it on the coffee table and then taking your hot chocolate. He paused as he studied the mug. "Did you want some hot chocolate with your marshmallows, y/n?"

You broke a small smile, tears still falling. His scarred hands gently brushed the tears away. "Y/n, please do not cry. It's a special baby daddy gift. That's all."

You knew you were being ridiculous, but hormones were winning. "But-"

Azriel silenced you with a kiss, one of his hands going to your stomach. "I can't wait until you're here and mommy stops crying all the time." He held his hand there, waiting. "Angel, there's no reason to cry."

You nodded, sniffling. "I just want to know what you got them."

Azriel sighed, "You cannot laugh." He was hesitant to remove his hand, but grabbed the bag still. 

Azriel opened it, pulling out a few knitted sets of something that had your brow raised. "Are those?"

"Wing warmers." Azriel confirmed. A soft smile had come back to his face, his dimples showing. "My wings get cold in the winter, and so do Cassian and Rhysand's, so I had these made for them to ensure their little wings would never get cold. I also got Rhys, Cassian, Nyx, and I a matching set for Solstice."

You nodded slowly. Trying not to laugh. "I see." He took in your tight lipped express, the way your eyes were shining, the way your lip twitched. 

"You're laughing." He rolled his eyes and shook his head, a small smile still on his face. "They get really cold, y/n."

"I'm not laughing," you said quickly, hands touching the soft knitted covers, fingers circling the little buttons. "I just didn't realize this was an issue."

Azriel made an insulted face. "It is an issue!" His tone was playful and sarcastic. "Don't you want our baby bat to have the best things? Warm wings are the best things! My little star will not have cold wings. Not on my watch." 

His forehead found yourself as you two fell into laughter. His hand back on your belly. "They match the booties and little hats we had made. The same seamstress made them."

"I noticed. I love her work," you whispered softly to him, hands coming to his face. "You're going to be the best daddy, Azriel. We don't deserve you."

He smiled as a soft kick finally landed on his hand. "No, angel, I don't deserve you." He pushed you back gently, adjusting you so he was laid between your legs on the couch, his head resting near where that last kick was.

"Just keep growing, little one. You gotta grow grow grow." His thumb made small circles on your tummy as he continued to talk to your baby. "Daddy loves you and mommy so much. Even if she doesn't understand cold wings. Which you will never have."

[celtic-crossbow]

Blood Ties Chapter 7

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore, vomiting, minor injury, confirmation of minor canonical character death

*Click here to be added to taglists.

Moodboard by @dannyo000 💙

The silence inside the truck was so uncomfortable that it teetered on the border of unbearable. Daryl hadn’t spoken a single word, not even when the caravan stopped to discuss forthcoming plans and you were invited to join. He didn’t have to speak. The intense glare that could have burned a hole through Rick’s head said everything his mouth didn’t.

You noticed Jacqui’s absence at once. There was an ache in your chest at her loss. She had been kind to you the few times you had interacted. You didn’t need an explanation. She had perished at the CDC. Whether or not it had been at Jenner’s hand was irrelevant. It had been his intent to trap you all there. In the end, it would still be blood on the doctor’s hands. 

“So, we’re all in agreement? Fort Benning?” The former sheriff met the eyes of everyone as they nodded. “Alright, that’s settled. I think we need to discuss our means of travel. We’ll burn a helluva lot of fuel taking so many vehicles. Any suggestions?”

Looks were exchanged, but Dale spoke up first. “I know the RV is by far the worst on the fuel but it does provide space and a means of shelter beyond what the others do. I’m probably biased but there it is.”

“No, I think as long as we can keep the RV running, it should stay.” Lori agreed with a nod and a hand on the older man’s shoulder. 

“Alright, okay.” Rick continued. “That still leaves four others.”

“We can ditch the van. Ride in the RV.” T-Dog offered quickly. 

“I can lose the Jeep and ride with you, Lori, and Carl.” Shane leaned against the vehicle in question and awaited a response. Rick shook his head almost immediately. 

“We’ll take Carol and Sophia, keep the kids together. You can go in the RV.” 

The first emotion that passed over the other officer’s face was sour, you noticed, but swiftly turned into a compliant smile and nod. You narrowed your eyes but held your tongue. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

“M’a take the bike.” Daryl stated matter-of-factly, not even waiting for input before he dropped the tailgate of the truck. “Ya help me with this?” He waved a hand toward the truck bed with a glance at T-Dog.

“That’s good, Daryl. Real good. Lori, Carol, the kids, and I in the Cherokee. Daryl and Y/N on the bike. The rest in–”

“Jus’ me.” The redneck interjected, not looking away from the task of unloading the bike. You didn’t need confirmation to know what he meant. 

“What?” Rick asked anyway.

“She can ride in the RV.” Daryl huffed. Rick raised his eyebrows but ended with shrugging a shoulder and moving on. 

You, however, continued staring at the archer. It wasn’t public knowledge that the baby was Daryl’s. Amidst the panic and confusion at the CDC, no one took notice of the exchanges between the two of you. You assumed he’d like to keep it that way. Assumptions were all you had to go on at the moment because the bastard was refusing to speak to you! Still, if he continued with the very obvious disdain toward you, he was going to give himself away.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?” You turned to find all other eyes on you. 

“Rick was asking if you’re okay being in the RV.” Lori was tilting her head, watching you with a look you didn’t really like. “Oh. Yeah, I’m fine wherever you want me.”

“Probably be more comfortable there.” Carol smiled that gentle smile of hers. “At some point, we’re gonna have to address the elephant in the room.” Shane’s tone was condescending. You curled your lip when he shifted to cross his arms and spit off to the side. His eyes remained on you, flickering down to your stomach and back up. You were starting to get the feeling he didn’t like you much.

Lucky for him, the feeling was mutual. “We’ve got time.” Lori interjected before you could even open your mouth. “One thing at a time. We need to find somewhere safe to stay first. Get off the road.” “She’s right.” Rick started grabbing the fuel cans and hoses to siphon the gas from the vehicles that were being left behind. The rest of the group scattered to move things and automobiles around, leaving you and Shane in a staring match. You wanted to smirk when he looked away first, granting you one last glance before disappearing around the RV.

“Anything I can do to help?” You walked up to the door of the RV as Dale stepped down. He gave you a sweet smile and traipsed out of your way, motioning to the inside. 

“You don’t need to be pulling and tugging at things. You just go on inside.” 

You snorted. “I’m pregnant, not an invalid. I can help.”

The older man was obviously torn but with a glance toward Andrea, he finally relented. Another story there, you supposed. “Maybe move some of the lighter bags and supplies from the other cars. They may have beat you to it, but that’s really all I know of that would be okay for you.” 

“Okay, I’ll check with Lori.” You smiled at him before he went about with whatever he was doing in preparation to leave. You really did appreciate his concern but you were new to the group. You had to show them that you could be an asset. It wouldn’t do for you to end up on your own with a baby on the way. You made it to the back corner of the RV before you felt eyes searing into the back of your head. Maybe Shane had seen the exchange with Dale. Glancing over your shoulder, you locked eyes with Daryl. This time, it was you who looked away first.

You had chosen to all but hide in the back of the RV, on the bed with a book that Dale had let you borrow. You weren’t really reading as much as you were listening to the exchanges between Andrea and Shane. He was showing her about maintaining a gun. When she mentioned her father, you felt a twinge of pain in your chest. 

The nausea had returned with a vengeance. Sips of water, you could handle with enough time in between. The constant rolling of your gut had you turning away from anything substantial. You knew you should eat. You needed to eat. Maybe when the next stop was made, you could ask about some crackers or something. 

Lost in your head, it wasn’t until you heard Dale’s distressed exclamation that you actually looked up, leaning out to be able to see what was going on from your hovel in the back room. 

“Oh jeez. Aw no. See a way through?” 

You tossed the book to the foot of the bed and swung your legs over the edge to get to your feet. Glenn was suggesting to turn around for a bypass but Dale quickly shot down the idea. 

“We can’t spare the fuel.”

“Jesus.” You whispered when you got your first glimpse of the disastrous cluster of cars and debris. As the RV idled, there was a pop and a white cloud drifted up in front of the windshield. “Shit.” You followed the others out the door, taking in the scene when you heard Daryl’s bike. The hunter weaved through the maze of vehicles and stopped in front of the RV. 

The others discussed options, a conversation you purposefully avoided. They were including you but having a say in things was a totally different matter. You didn’t feel like you were there yet. 

“There’s a whole bunch’a stuff we can find.” Daryl was right. The owners of the abandoned cars didn’t need the things they’d left behind in their panic. Except… not all of them had left. You could clearly see a corpse in the passenger side of a sedan. Was it a walker? Couldn’t be. It would have responded to the noise. 

“This is a graveyard. I don’t know how I feel about this.”

“I’m with Lori. It feels like…grave robbing.” While Lori’s comment went ignored, yours earned a look from Shane that made your skin crawl. He eventually sneered before his expression smoothed out and he gave the order for everyone to go searching. 

You stood still, biting your lip in hesitation. The thought of someone taking your father’s belongings from the camp just because he was dead made you see red. How could you possibly go along with this?

Maybe you could stay behind in the RV. Andrea was there, so it shouldn’t be a problem if—

“Go on.” Daryl gave you a shove you would almost define as gentle. It was the first time he had spoken to you since the CDC. You wanted to retort with something snarky, but what would that do other than piss him off more than he already was. “Grab anythin’ you think could be useful.”

“Okay.” You kept your tone soft, picking up your pace to catch up to him when he brushed past. “Can we talk?” You really did want to smooth things over. You told yourself that the connection with Daryl was solely physical, but now you’d be raising a child together in an apocalypse. That would definitely be easier if you could communicate on some level at least. 

He never missed a step when he glanced at you while maneuvering between the automobiles. He’d peek in the windows of some but continued further out, probably to keep everyone else closer to your own cars. 

“Nah.” He finally glowered, walking backwards away from you a few steps before turning around and disappearing behind a cargo van. 

Sighing heavily, you took stock of your surroundings. There was no point in following after him. You didn’t have the energy anyway. The nausea was worsening and there was little to no water left in the RV. You allowed for a disgruntled breath, pressed a palm to your belly, and opened the driver door of the nearest car. The sooner everyone got what they needed, the better. 

The smell of the decaying corpse was horrific and forced you to pull things out with one hand while the other pressed over your mouth and nose. Luckily there wasn’t much more than a suitcase that held some men’s clothing. You weren’t sure what the men could use so you left what was there, with the exception of one shirt. Strategically ripping, you fashioned a cover to tie around your face. You’d work faster with both hands. 

After several minutes, you had found a damn treasure trove, including a beautiful knife in a holster that you had taken the liberty of securing around your thigh. It wasn’t a firearm but it was better than nothing. 

You were climbing backwards out of the backseat of a little hatchback when you took a break to steady yourself. You were drenched in sweat and felt a little dizzy. Maybe it was time to gather your findings and go back to the others for a break. You had gone pretty far ahead. 

The silence on the roadway was unnerving. You’d give almost anything for bumper to bumper traffic with an orchestra of angry shouts and sounding horns; for everything to go back like it was. You’d be in the woods at that time of day, tracking rabbits or squirrels. It didn’t take much to feed just you and your father. You didn’t have a smokehouse, so smaller game was ideal. You could still see his proud beam when you’d walk through the door. 

Those days were gone now. 

Back at your pile of finds, it occurred to you that you couldn’t carry it all back alone. Loath as you were to admit it, Daryl had been the closest. You pulled down your makeshift mask with a groan, but there was no other option unless you wanted to walk all the way back to the RV just to bring back help. They would likely demand you stayed put, but you didn’t want them to see you as incapable. Daryl was already annoyed with you, so requesting his assistance was your best bet. 

Your steps were dragging by the time you made it to the cargo van where he had so casually rebuffed your request. Barely around the rear bumper, your stomach decided to rebel. You lurched forward with a repulsive retching sound, stomach muscles cramping from the force of the heaves. Your stomach was empty. Rancid acid and bile burned your throat, the intensity of your gagging ensuring you could be heard all the way at the RV. 

Your stomach still contracted uncomfortably, excess saliva gathering in your mouth. You had just managed to wipe away any remnants on the sleeve of your flannel when a hand clamped down around your jaw. Fight or flight activated, you scrambled for the knife at your thigh, managing a single swipe before a hand caught your wrist. 

“Quiet, goddamnit!” Daryl hissed faintly against your ear. He was pulling you toward the back of the van and hastily shoving you inside before climbing in himself. You loured at him and sheathed your weapon while he scrupulously pulled the doors closed. 

“What—” His hand bore down over your mouth a second time, a finger raised to his lips. You only managed an indignant huff before something struck the side of the van with a thud. Vibrant orbs widened with realization that he had just saved your ass from what sounded like a sizable number of walkers. 

Daryl haltingly lowered his hand as if you’d yell at him despite the threat lurking just outside. The man was sweaty and panting, as if he’d been running. Giving him  once over you noticed the carmine liquid slowly saturating his shirt just above his hip. 

Your movements were slow and deliberate to ensure silence. He didn’t seem to notice you until you were almost next to him, resulting in him reeling back with a vexed expression. 

“You’re hurt.” You mouthed, reaching behind your head to untie the ripped section of fabric you had used as a mask. When you extended it toward the wound, he swatted at your hand. You couldn’t risk speaking so the two of you engaged in an intense staring contest. The hunter finally relented with a shake of his head, deeming alertness toward the flock of undead to be priority. You smirked and pressed the wadded strip against the injury. 

He let out a grunt but stayed still, eyes remaining on the doors. It didn’t take long for the bleeding to let up, giving you a chance to peel back one side of the slice in his shirt. The wound was superficial, wouldn’t need stitches, but it was abundantly clear that you had nicked him when he grabbed you. You felt your stomach drop. Or maybe that was just the nausea. 

“Think they moved on.” Daryl quietly informed you. Oblivious to your revelation, he opened one door, barely wide enough to see outside. “We can prolly head back to the— wha’?” He stopped short, your apologetic expression giving him pause. 

“I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t mean to—”

The hunter rolled his eyes. “S’fine. Won’ kill me.”

While he was quick to dismiss the event, you still felt terrible. It could have been so much worse. The whole thing made your desire to talk things out with him that much more crucial. “Daryl, can you just listen to me for a second?”

There was the briefest of moments when you thought he was going to acquiesce. There was something more than anger in the way he looked at you. Then he was shaking his head. “We gotta get back. Check in with ev’ryone.” You grabbed his arm with both hands when he shifted to climb out. “M’serious. I ain’t doin’ this.”

“I get that you’re angry…with me.” You swallowed hard against the strange taste in your mouth, ignoring the protests of your inexorable stomach. “You have every right to be.” Daryl growled and snatched his arm away. He climbed out and stood just outside the door, clearly not confident enough with the degree of safety to leave you behind. 

“Drop it, Y/N.” He warned. 

You had climbed out and blocked his path, hands hovering in front of his chest. “The least you can let me do is—” It happened just as suddenly as before. You had no time to react. You could only clutch your abdomen and pitch forward, vomiting up what little bile that had accumulated since the last episode. All over his left boot. “—apologize.” 

If it had been any other situation, the deadpan examination Daryl was currently giving his footwear would have been arguably hilarious. 

“I’m, uh, sorry about that too.”

His eyes moved up to glare at you from beneath his lashes. You didn’t think a mess on his boot would be enough to really set off a man who spent the majority of his time identifying— and very often stepping in —animal waste. This was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. He took a step toward you. Though you didn’t think he’d hurt you, even for reasons beyond the baby, you couldn’t say you knew him well enough to bank on that theory. Therefore, you took a step back. 

“Listen, woman, jus’ ‘cause ya got my kid inside ya don’t mean I hafta—” He cut off suddenly, angling his head in a way that was familiar to you. You did the same thing while hunting; listening for sounds to indicate an animal was nearby. 

“What is it?” 

He shushed you harshly. When you focused on the sounds around you rather than the whirlwind of thoughts in your own head, you could hear it too. 

Your blood ran cold with dread. 

“Sophia! Lori, there’s two walkers after my baby!”

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[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

Hi it's literally the same anon that requested the percy NSFW headcanons but I'm back for more🤭

I would absolutely devour percy x virgin fem! Reader headcanons

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE 💙

Interested? Click HERE for Jason nsfw headcanons.

->masterlist

Slight NSFW warning, Percy Jackson and !virgin reader

You are a virgin? Well, he is too. This guy does not have any experience at all. His first kiss was probably you.

First time would be sweet, slow, and soft. He is too afraid to use his strength and does not know how to move his hips.

Once he gets a nice rhythm, the only thing he’s doing it watching your facial expressions to see if you’re enjoying it.

If you aren’t enjoying it, he will also not enjoy it. Pleasure is a mutual thing.

His mother has taught him consent and the school taught him sex ed. So, he does know that he needs a condom.

Percy wouldn’t even bring up sex during the relationship – its just such a weird and odd thing to bring up in his opinion so why would he?

But then as the relationship progresses, I’m guessing after 1 year and he’s in college now; he could perhaps be tempted to be more teasing in a way during kisses and let his hands wander a bit.

Then he would ask quietly if you’ve ever thought about the two of you having sex.

“Have you ever thought of us...y´know…doing...something….together?” “Like what? What do you mean” “you know…like touch--ing….” (Licks his lips nervously).

If you’re open and say yes, he would say “me too” in such an awkward way lol.

He would be tempted to run away from the conversation and apologize if you said no.

“Do you ever wanna….do something…more? —or want ME to do more?” Percy would look at you through his bangs.

The discussion is awkward but important to the both of you. Talking about the things you like and whatnot – but don’t expect anything too detailed he´s too embarrassed to even say sex out loud.

But that doesn’t mean he is a kid who doesn’t know how it works. He gets it, he knows that it isn’t embarrassing to say dick, vagina and sex – but he’s not used to saying it.

When he first bought a condom, he was actually tempted to just ask Grover to buy it because he’s older than him.

But at the same time, it´s kind of embarrassing so he decided not to.

He just took the first one he saw and luckily it was a normal condom that does the job just fine.

He totally didn’t look suspicious wearing a hoodie and having his head hanged low to the ground. When the cashier did small talk and asked him how he was – he didn’t even answer and shifted his feet anxiously.

He is so goddamn nervous before he does it too. He doesn’t know when to make the move or if he should just jump straight to undressing.

Most likely happened when he´s at the Beach house or in his dorm room.

He would be seated somewhere comfortable, like the couch or the sofa. And he would bring a towel and awkwardly put it next to you – just in case of a mess.

Closing all windows and curtains, locking each door – he would not be able to chill out LMFAO.

And then, watch a movie or something. He would sit next to you – not daring to even glance at you. Sweaty palms and you can hear him swallowing his own spit next to you.

You would maybe have to take the initiative with the cuddling or scoot a bit closer to let him know you´re ready.

Maybe he would swing an arm around your shoulders or lean on you.

Then the quiet question comes when he touches the seam of your shirt.

He would start touching any skin that’s available, stomach or legs, or shoulders or neck.

Things gets difficult by then – where should he touch next? He doesn’t know.

Biting his lip anxiously, he’s waiting for you to do something that will give him a clue. If you lean your head back, then he leans down to snuggle his face there and gives it a kiss.

Kissing->making out -> touching your waist and hips and legs.

“I want you”. Something corny he might say but he means it.

If you back-out he is very understanding – but will feel like it´s his fault when it really isn´t. But will take it as a valuable lesson to learn more before he does it again and the next times would be better. No matter how many times you say you don’t want to – he will respect it and will never make you feel bad. Actually, he is relieved that you are vocal about it.

And then, I´m guessing !reader keeps their shirt on at first since it’s the first time so things can get awkward quickly.

Grinding->touch his stomach and he will melt into the touch->help his shirt over his head and kiss his collarbone->Percy would start to inch your shirt higher and higher to expose more but will tell immediately if you get shy or nervous and would stop->eye contact is so important he needs to know how you are and if you aren’t going to talk, you bet he’s going to communicate through other ways.

Then, shimming your pants/skirt/dress off, ->he leans closer and cuddles you->if you say “more” he will send a questioning look because what does “more” mean? More kissing, more touching, more grinding, more noises? -> “more of x”.

Then, when both are naked, don’t worry Percy already has blankets ready to cover the both of you so you are both underneath a shared blanket->”Is this okay?” “Are you alright?” questions will be murmured and quietly asked, Percy is looking for reassurance->then it happens, its difficult to put it in and he already put on a condom->goes excruciatingly slow because he does not want it to hurt (perhaps he confided in Annabeth before he decided to have intercourse with you)->any advice he got from his friend will be used.

In the end, overall, he would be satisfied but wants to be better next time. Percy is the type of person that is always striving for best.

[labwebs]

“I dunno. I just... I just don’t see how it’s ever gonna get any easier.”

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Warmth

PAIRING | Sugar Daddy!Tony Stark x Sugar Baby!Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.1K

SUMMARY | You've been studying for your upcoming exam all day, and you're starting to get a little cold. However, the perfect way to warm up is by touching Tony's warm body, seeing how he's always running warm through the arc reactor. Of course, he's happy to share his warmth with you; he doesn't want you to feel cold.

RATING | General (G)

WARNINGS/TAGS | Sugar Daddy/-Baby arrangement, mutual pining.

A/N | This fic is inspired by this headcanon written by @fotibrit! As soon as I read it, I knew this would fit perfectly inside my sugar daddy!Tony AU! I love their dynamic, and I can't wait to hear what you all think about it. This is proofread by my amazing friend @ccbsrmsf1, for which I cannot begin to thank you enough! 💙

EVENTS Masterlist | @anyfandomfluffbingo | Clothes sharing Masterlist | @fandombingo | Tony Stark Masterlist | @fandom-free-bingo | "Are you feeling better now?" Masterlist | @marvel-smash-bingo | "I can do this all day."

Banners: Yours truly | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: @ccbsrmsf1

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | AU Masterlist

You're in the middle of studying for your exams, making long hours for a difficult one coming up. Going through medical school has always been a dream of yours, and thanks to Tony, that is becoming a reality, but that doesn't mean you don't have to work for it. He has kindly offered to study at Stark Tower so you can use plenty of empty offices and conference rooms.

This also means you're closer to him, and you can't stop yourself from seeing him whenever he's in the building. You've been studying for the past six hours, eating lunch, and drinking a lot of coffee in between, and you're starting to feel cold and restless - perfect timing to go and pay a visit to Tony.

"Jarvis, can you tell me where Tony is?" you ask the AI he has installed in the building, who kindly lets you know he is working in his lab. Your stuff is gathered quickly, and just before you can zip your bag closed, you let out a big yawn and a cold shiver runs down your spine. The weather outside looked promising, but jeans and a blouse weren't enough to keep you warm today.

As soon as your bag hangs on your shoulder, you're out the door, your feet carrying you to Tony on instinct. The elevator ride is way too long, and you're rubbing your hands on your arms to keep yourself warm, but to no avail. You feel warmth spreading through your body when you walk into his lab and see Tony hunched over in his MIT hoodie, faded jeans, and messy hair.

"Are you going home already, Sugar?" Tony asks in his deep voice, giving you goosebumps as the sound goes through your body.

"Not yet; I figured I'd swing by your lab to see how you're doing. And I was hoping to steal a bit of your warmth, too," you tell him with a small smile, unable to stop thinking how handsome he looks in his outfit. It shows off his natural handsomeness, and you can't help but stare a little too long when he turns to you.

"How can I say no when you ask me like that? C'mere Sugar," Tony says as he opens his arms invitingly. You drop your bag before stepping into his hold, your body pressing tightly against his as your face nuzzles into his neck. With a deep sigh, you let your hands wander to where they're under his hoodie, your ice-cold hands slowly warming up on the warm muscles of his lower back.

"You're freezing!" he says before he lets go, his hands carefully wrapping around your wrists to guide your hands to his chest - or, more specifically, to his arc reactor. It's where he gets the hottest and your favorite place to rest your hands when you're feeling cold. If there's one thing you both quickly learned, it is that where you usually are feeling chilly, Tony is always hot, making him your perfect personal heater.

A soft hum leaves your throat as you can feel the warmth of his body seeping into your cold hands, slowly ensuring they don't ache from the freezing state they were in before you came to him.

"Are you feeling better now?" Tony asks softly and gently, and you hum in response. If it were up to him, he would let you warm your hands on his body forever, never wanting to let you go again. Little does he know you feel the same way, but you're both too stubborn to admit it to one another.

"Yeah, I can do this all day if you'd let me," you tell him in response, another soft sigh leaving your chest when your hands aren't cold anymore. Though that issue has been fixed, Tony can tell you're still feeling cold, and without hesitation, he takes off his hoodie, exposing his muscular chest and abdomen to you, making you do a double take at the appearing flesh.

"Here, you can wear this, Sugar," he tells you without leaving room for discussion. You allow him to pull it over your head, the sleeves longer than your arms, making you giggle. The scent of Tony envelops you completely, and you flail your arms like a bird to show off just how long the sleeves are, and the sound of Tony's laughter makes yet another flood of warmth spread throughout your body.

"It looks way better on you than it does me, Sugar; I think you should keep it," Tony says, his eyes flicking from your eyes to your mouth and back. He steps closer to you, his index finger lifting your chin slightly to look right into your eyes as he closes the gap between you two.

His mouth descends on yours in a sweet, loving, gentle kiss that takes your breath away yet makes you feel so full of love. Your kisses are usually frantic and passionate when you sleep together, but this kiss is the opposite. Unrushed and soft; filled promises that neither of you is willing to give in to yet. It's perfection in a kiss.

The second his lips leave yours, it feels like you're deflating like a balloon, missing the feelings of his warm mouth on yours already. Despite this, a small smile tugs on the corners of your mouth as you bite your bottom lip, feeling like a teenager who just shared their first kiss with the boy she's been crushing on for a long time. And deep inside, that's exactly what the dynamic between you is, just in your later years.

"What was that for?" you ask Tony, who chuckles at your question.

"I felt like kissing you because you look adorable in my hoodie. And I wanted to surprise you, which, by the looks of it, worked pretty well," Tony tells you, and you nod.

"Now I have to go because I promised to go for dinner with my friends. But thank you for the hoodie. I'll be using it to keep me warm from now on," you tell him as you step back, grab your bag, and walk out of his lab with a wave.

All he can muster is a small wave back as he stands there shirtless and with a heart filled with love. He wants to give you all the happiness in the world and more, and if that means letting you warm your cold hands on his body and giving you his hoodies, he's more than okay with doing that for the rest of his life, even if that means never getting to tell you how he feels. Your dynamic is perfect for both of you, and he doesn't want to ruin it by doing something stupid.

Though the one thing he wants more than anything in this world is that you will be his one day. His girlfriend, his fiancée, his wife, his everything. That's what would make him the happiest man on earth.

[toxicanonymity]

Black Math. Left in Lincoln, pt. 5

8.6k words. dark dbf!Joel Miller x virgin!reader story master list / spotify playlist / joel master

🍑 amazing art by @bonezone44 💙

Now spicier courtesy of the label His smile faded as he looked at you, then he added hoarsely, “God, if you knew how many times I’d thought about you.” There wasn’t so much as a hint of shame in his voice. It had the warmth in your cheeks traveling down, down, down. . . “We’re almost there, baby, but we gotta do it right.  We’re almost there, I promise.” He reached into his pants to tuck in his shirt and adjusted himself while he was there. Your eyes fixated on the bulge in his jeans. “God damn,” he exhaled.  “Turns me on thinkin’ about it.”  

WARNINGS: I8+, Not graphic, but it gets twisted. Lots of plot, including flashbacks, disturbing implicit horror (really), angst, brief self-shaming, big girthy age gap (reader is legal the whole time), pet names and praise, toxic dark joel/fluff, family fluff, gaslighting, manipulation, yearning, pining, obsession, grinding, mutual touching, oral f receiving.  NO use of Y/N

A/N: This picks up right after part 4. Word-count wise, parts 1-4 were like half of it. There are two more after this, and I wrote a lot on those before finalizing pt. 5. Thank you all for your patience and enthusiasm. It's so rewarding to see people discuss. Additional thanks to @dark-scape for your help, Raider Joel for your support. I couldn't get the text off bold fyi.

---------------------------------------

You awoke to the sound of stairs creaking under heavy steps, a sound you didn’t often hear at home.  You blinked awake, still disoriented as your eyes focused.   The vanity, the dresser, the empty glass on the nightstand. The closet. Your mind was catching up when the bedroom door opened.  Joel was fully dressed with his hair combed back.  His brows were knitted in concern  as usual, but his eyes brightened when he saw you waking up.  

You lifted your head and squinted at him as you propped yourself up with one elbow. 

Joel’s tone was as cheerful as you could ever expect to hear it. “Mornin’, sleepyhead. Makin’ sure you're okay.”

“What time is it?” 

“Li’l past noon. Still sleepin’? I’ll leave ya ‘lone.”

“I should get up.” You put your head back down on the pillow.  

He came over and sat down on the bed. “How’d ya sleep?” 

“Good, once I fell asleep.” 

“Does the trick, don’t it?” He nodded to the empty glass on the nightstand. 

“Yeah,” you laughed. 

“Dr. Miller, at your service.” 

You giggled again and his eyes glazed over as they fell on your smile, your chest, then met your eyes.  He leaned over and put his elbow down on the far side of you. 

“Well, you’ve made me believe in beauty sleep, peaches.” He put a hand on your shoulder, dwarfing it with his massive palm as he brushed your skin with his thumb.   “Always a beauty, but ya wake up even prettier.”  Your face got hot and you looked away shyly. 

Joel bit his lip, holding back a smile. He traced the outer curve of your ear with his fingers.  “Hungry?” 

“Kinda.” 

“I’ll go make ya somethin’.”  He looked at you warmly then kissed you on the forehead before he went back downstairs. 

—-----

You took a shower and got dressed.  As your hands glided over your soapy body, your palms lingered on your breasts. You imagined Joel showering and realized you couldn’t picture him shirtless.  While you were picking out something to wear, you got to thinking again about the closet full of clothes. They were mostly dresses.  You put on one of several soft, casual floral ones about knee length.  

Before you closed the closet door, you stopped yourself.  You had to face it – the dress you saw in the dark the night before.  The one that kept you up.  Heart racing, you reached into the far right corner and fumbled with a big, satin hanger.  You squinted your eyes almost shut as you carefully brought the dress out where you could see it.  You looked at it blurry through your lashes.  It was more cream than white.  

When you finally opened your eyes all the way, an unexpected sense of relief soothed your chest as if the dress were made of love and meant for you. It was simple, but breathtaking. Not the rigid, intimidating garment your anxiety had envisioned.  It had a simple A-line silhouette. The high collar and long sleeves were a lace outer dress laid over a solid one with a sweetheart neckline. The skirt was flowy and came down around mid-calf.  

It gave you butterflies and you couldn’t help but imagine Joel went out of his way to get this.  It felt like a wishful conclusion, like a romantic story you wanted to believe.  You tried to talk yourself away from it, not wanting to assume.  But at the same time, you still couldn’t figure who would have left it behind.  Your heart sank for a moment when you wondered if it could have been intended for Tess, but Ellie always said they were platonic and even slept in separate rooms.  Not only were the clothes not anything Ellie or Tess would wear, but Ellie nor Tess ever lived in this house.  They were gone before Joel moved down the street.  You put the dress way back in the corner of the closet where it came from. 

—------------------

When Joel first settled into the community, he moved into a house near Abe’s, clear on the other side of the neighborhood.  You met Ellie first.  You were in your backyard gardening when she appeared out of nowhere and asked what you were doing. She was a little younger than you, but much more experienced in life, having been out in the world.  You were shy to ask her about the horrors of the infected, not wanting to upset her.  But she told you all about it anyway – the different kinds, the way they connected underground.  You were grateful for your life and recognized the privilege in growing up like you did.  Growing up at all.  

Bill used to remind you how lucky you were, especially as a teenager when you would have fits about wanting to go out into the world.  Somehow, learning from Ellie in more graphic detail about the state of the world didn’t squash your desire to get out there one day.  You asked her all about the quarantine zones and FEDRA school, and those sounded fun, even though she didn’t depict them that way.  She asked you a million questions about your little community, too. 

You never saw much of Joel until after Ellie left.  Frank worried about Joel being all alone, having experienced so much loss, so they invited him over for dinner.  The first time, Joel was surprised when you answered the door.  He apologized and looked around as though he had made some kind of mistake.  Then it occurred to you he might have forgotten your name.  You couldn’t even remember a time you had formally met, so you introduced yourself.  

He took a few seconds.   “Right, sorry,” he mumbled.  “I thought—well, Ellie, uh—I guess I thought you were younger.” 

Joel was polite and didn’t talk much.  Bill liked that about him, so they started having him over for dinner regularly.  The two of you didn’t share much conversation, but when you did, Joel seemed in awe of how protected you grew up.  It made you self-conscious.  It wasn’t something you liked about yourself.  When Joel noticed this, he clarified it was a really good thing.  Rare.  The terror of the world affected most people for the worse. 

—

Joel didn’t move into his current house until after the Adlers died and someone needed to take care of the peach and apple orchards.  He had already been helping them tend the orchards and also helped fix things up around the property as the Adlers’ age caught up with them.  

When Joel moved, Frank had the idea to bake something to welcome him to your family’s end of the community.  You made a blueberry cobbler. Frank combed his hair and tucked in a plain, button-up shirt.  He didn’t ask you to put on a dress, but you did because Frank always had fun getting spruced.  He liked to have a reason, even if the occasion was completely manufactured, like the nights he made dinner and claimed his restaurant had a dress code. You couldn’t deny it made for a nice change of pace, and Bill’s eyes brightened, too despite his obligatory grumbling. 

When you were ready to take the cobbler to Joel, Bill said the two of you looked like you were going to a wake. 

“It’s nice to dress up,” Frank protested.  “It shows we care.” 

When you and Frank were about to walk over there, Frank started tearing up thinking about the Adlers.  They were your neighbors for as long as you could remember. “I can’t, I can’t do it,” Frank said.  Bill didn’t want to do it either.  He wasn’t planning on it to begin with.  

“I’ll take it,” you offered.  So they sent you.  

—

You walked up to Joel’s (new) house, stopping to admire the gambrel roof.  The front door was newly black and smelled like paint, so you weren’t sure where to knock.  You rang the bell and it buzzed sadly in a low, broken tone, as though barely hanging on.  When you were just about to walk around back and knock, Joel opened the door holding a dish towel and a salty look that softened as saw you.  He let go of the door and looked down as he cleaned his hands.  

His voice was deep as always, but it struck you more when you were one-on-one without anyone else’s chatter.  “Need somethin’?”

“Uh, no.  I don’t.”  You smiled just enough to not look scared and countered, “Do you need anything?”  His presence was intimidating. Handsome and muscular, with a quiet, powerful energy.  

He didn’t say anything. Kept cleaning his fingers.  Once he looked at you again, he didn’t look away. He stopped messing with his fingers.  It was your only private conversation since the first time he came over for dinner.  It was more eye contact than he had ever given you.  You waited out the silence, then smiled and held out the cobbler for him. “This is for you.” 

He put his hands around the dish, careful not to let his dirty fingers touch yours.  “You made this?”

“Yeah,” you nodded and took your hands away. His eyes gave the hint of a smile, but his mouth didn’t budge.  

“Welcome to the street,” you told him. 

He nodded but didn’t offer any more words.  He stood there and looked at you until you said, “Well, you know where we are if you need anything.  Bye, Joel.”  He nodded and watched you walk away.  

—---------

Joel and the Adlers.  Those were the only people you were aware of who ever lived in that house.  You put on another dress.  It was a lightweight, black fabric. Low-cut, flowy, came down to your knees with elbow length sleeves that were kind of see through and flared out. 

You were too curious not to bring up the clothes.  Over lunch, you asked, “The Adlers didn’t have a daughter when they lived here, did they?”

He seemed to be thinking it over as he finished chewing.  “Not that I know of.  Why?” 

“Whose clothes are these?”

“Ah,” he said.  “Well they’re yours now, peaches.”  

You smiled. “Before, though.”

“Why?  Do you like’em? They look good on ya. Are they the right size?”

“I like’em a lot. They’re nice, they fit well.” 

He raised his eyebrows and proudly revealed, “Picked’em up at the boutique.”  His cheeks turned pink as he looked at you for approval. “Wasn’t much left. Wasn’t sure you’d like’em.”  He took a bite of his salad.

“Wow,”  you nodded. You were nearly speechless that he stocked that room for you.  If there wasn’t much left at the boutique, he must’ve grabbed anything in  your general size. Maybe that’s how he ended up with The Dress.  

“Wanted to have what ya needed here, just in case.” He nodded as he chewed.  “S’why it took me a few days to come by after Bill and Frank left.”

“That’s nice, Joel.” It was a little awkward.  You didn’t know what to say.

He continued to explain himself.  “Men like me and Bill, we’re protectors.”  He put down his fork to gesticulate.  “So when your papa asked me to make sure you’d be okay, I took it real serious.  Did everything I could to be ready for any scenario.” 

You slowly nodded and he looked at you in anticipation of further response. You said, “Well, you went above and beyond.” 

Your face must have given away your shock.  Joel sighed.  “Might’ve gotten carried away.”  He looked down and lowered his voice. “Been a while since I had someone to care for.  I guess the idea of someone even possibly needin’ me. . . ”  Your heart hurt for him.  “Hell, maybe I wanted to remember what it felt like. Look at me playin’ dress-up, right?” He laughed at himself, but his eyes were somber. 

You took his hand into yours and looked him in the eyes.  “Thank you, Joel.” 

“I’m glad they fit,” he said.  “Glad ya can use’em.”  He took a sip of water, then quickly swallowed it to clarify,  “I mean, I’m not glad ya had to leave home.  Just glad I could be here.” 

“Yeah.”  You squeezed his hand. He kissed yours and let it go.   “This is really good, by the way.  Love the dressing.”  

“It’s basil. Grew it outside.  I’ve got some herb seedlings in pots down in the basement. We can try to plant’em if ya want.” 

Your face lit up at the possibility of going outside.  “Yeah!”

“We’ll do the arugula, too.  I dunno about the ‘berries, darlin’, but we’ll try.” 

—----

It was a cloudy day, but still nice out.  Joel seemed to think it might rain later.  After lunch, he loaded up a wagon full of plants and supplies from the basement, and the two of you walked through the orchard.  The fresh air was invigorating after being  stuck in the house.  

“‘Member which tree is ours?” Joel asked.  

When you correctly pointed it out, he stopped the wagon and let the handle sit.  You looked at him shyly as he looked you up and down.  “C’mere.”  He gently turned you to face him.  “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” He cradled your head with both hands.  You tilted your chin, then he planted a long, affectionate kiss on your lips.

When you got to the garden beds at the back of the orchard, Joel said, “we should plant’em together so they cross-pollinate. Where do you wanna put’em?”  Joel watched your face as you walked around them and evaluated the options.  

The garden bed to the right already had a pumpkin vine with beautiful flowers. That bed looked more settled, darker, and fertile.  “I didn’t know you had pumpkins,” you marveled. “Maybe by those?”

Joel looked down at the garden bed.  “Yeah, hopefully they’ll fruit.”  He smiled up at you without raising his head again.  

Joel used a spade to dig shallow holes, then you nestled the roots in the holes and both of you patted the soil down.  First the arugula, then the basil, then the longshot–the strawberries, 

“Pat it down, but not too tight,” he said. 

When you were finished, you knelt by the vine and traced a flower with your fingers. Its warm colors were cheerful. “When the pumpkins grow, can we eat’em?”

“Sure, darlin’.”  Joel looked down at the vine, squatting right beside you.  “Y’know, the flower’s edible, too.”  

“It is?” Your stomach rumbled at the thought of eating something new. 

Half of Joel’s mouth curled into a small smile. “I reckon you’ve never had a flor de calabaza taco, then. Granted, not sure how ya would’ve.”

“Flor de calabaza?”

“Pumpkin flower. Haven’t had one in a while myself. Go on, pick a couple. Let’s try it.” 

You plucked one. “Good choice,” he said, giving you a flashback to when he caught you with one of his peaches. The embarrassment flooded you all over again as you picked two more.  Joel saw your face change, and he smiled, hopefully not thinking about the origin of your nickname. You wondered how often he thought about it.  He picked a flower of his own, leaving a bit of vine on it, then stroked your cheek and said “c’mere.”  He looked in your eyes and put his flower behind your ear.  He kissed you on the lips, then wrapped an arm around you and began to stand, bringing you up with him.  

Joel looked up at the sky, squinting. “Ah, hell.  Gimme that cloth.” He knelt down and finished patting the soil as you retrieved the cloth from the wagon.  You helped him cover the newly planted arugula, basil, and strawberries to protect them from washout.

—--

You hung out in the kitchen, helping Joel make dinner.  The apple blossom in the jar still looked beautiful.  He knew how to take care of things.  You washed the pumpkin flowers, then twirled one against your nostrils as Joel cooked wild turkey.  You inhaled the petals and tried to imagine what they’d taste like.  Joel cooked the flowers with the turkey. They were delicious. Granted, anything new to eat was appealing in principle.  Novelty was its own seasoning. 

After dinner that night, Joel needed to do some work outside before the rain.  He showed you a shelf of books and games near the fireplace, then watched your face as you browsed them.   You picked up one that you liked as a girl but hadn’t read in years.  Joel went out through the basement.  You heard him dragging a tarp out. 

There were a lot of thoughts distracting you from your book.  Your feelings for Joel overwhelmed you.  At certain moments, it felt too good to be true.  You also reflected on your intimacy and felt like things were moving fast. You understood why: you felt safe and protected, and your body’s physical need for his was totally natural. But the speed also made it feel fragile somehow.  Like if you looked down, you might be falling through the air, not realizing you ran off a cliff.  

There was also the question: If a connection this special formed so quickly, could it come undone just as fast?  You couldn’t rid your head of his wounded face when you said you were lonely.  You hurt his feelings and panicked, as if you needed to give him everything you could at that moment to prove that you loved him. As much as you enjoyed having him in your mouth like that, it felt impulsive in hindsight. Desperate, and you hoped he didn’t see it that way. Pathetic, even. But the memory of it turned you on all the same. 

You replayed other encounters in your mind and felt like you were largely the one driving things.  Burying your fear and grief in his lap.  It embarrassed you to think about, but you also felt relieved that there wasn’t really any pressure.  It was like Joel said, whatever you want and that’s all.  You said you wanted it in your mouth, and of course he wouldn’t discourage it. Then he wouldn't be giving you everything.

The sound of metal banging then scraping on concrete stirred you from your thoughts. Then the basement door opened and shut twice.  

—------

When Joel came back inside, it was nearly your typical bedtime and you were cozy on the sofa.  You were curled up on your side with the book on your thigh and your eyes closed.  You were only half asleep, but you let him take the book. He also spread a blanket over you.  When his bedroom door closed, you sat up and opened the book again.  There was a black thumbprint on the open page, and it smelled like ash. It gave you butterflies to see his thumbprint.  You liked the idea of having part of him in the book as you read it.  You knew how irrational these feelings were, but it didn’t stop them.  

Joel’s shower turned on.  The walls were so thin that you could hear everything.  A cabinet opening, the shower door, changes in the rhythm of the water flow.  You could hear that he brushed his teeth in the shower. Maybe not just in the shower.  He always seemed to taste fresh.   A few minutes after the water turned off, Joel came out of his room in jeans and a white t-shirt that wasn’t tucked in.  The shirt hugged his pecs and arms and gave you an even deeper, needier appreciation for his physique.  The casual look was really attractive on him.  You needed him so bad it hurt.  If you couldn’t have him forever, you weren’t sure what you would do.  If he ended up with anyone else—there was no reason for this thought to even cross your mind, but the fleeting idea of it made your temples weak.  He was too perfect. 

You were sitting on the couch hugging your knees when he sat down next to you.  He put his hand on your knee and dipped his head to look at you. You took a deep breath through your nose.  Mint and pine. His post-shower fragrance made your chest tingle. 

“You okay, peaches?”

“Yeah.” You mustered a smile.  “Just tired.  Guess I should go to sleep.”

“Sure, darlin’. Want me to tuck you in?”

Your heart sank at the lack of an invitation.  “Yeah.” 

Joel took your hand and led you upstairs. While you were in the bathroom getting ready to sleep,  Joel made the bed for you before turning the covers down for you to get in. 

“There ya go.” 

“Thanks.” You got under the covers, tempted to make room for him but not wanting to come on too strong or look desperate.

He sat down on the edge of the mattress and leaned over you like he had in the morning.  “Need anything at all, I’m right downstairs.” 

“Thank you.”

Joel kissed you goodnight. You were a little sad when he didn't try anything, but you had already said you were tired. In your heart, you felt like he'd always be patient with you. If you wanted to slow things down, it was yourself you had to worry about.  But in your heart, that wasn’t what you wanted anyway.  You just hoped Joel didn’t think less of you for needing him so much. 

—-----------

You woke up in the middle of the night to a deafening clap of thunder.  You sat up and your hand went to your chest.  You could feel your heart pounding. The wash of your blood through your valves echoed in your ears.  Outside, branches rustled loudly and snapped in the wind. 

You were unsettled lying there awake and alone. You wondered why Joel didn't just have you sleep in his bed. Maybe he was trying to be respectful, but these were the things that made you second guess the pace on your end.  You lay there alone, and began to hear creaking and clattering indoors that made your heart race. Joel was right downstairs, but he never felt so far away.  The thunder was okay, but the other noises made your mind race with thoughts of whatever happened the other night at your house.  Whatever Joel saved you from.  The distorted version of Call Me echoed in your mind. 

You worked up the courage to get out of bed.  You crept downstairs like you did the night before.  A flash of lightning startled you.  When a louder, longer crack of thunder followed, you quickened your steps, hanging onto the bannister for dear life so you wouldn’t slip in the dark. 

Joel’s bedroom door was cracked open, so you let yourself in. It was almost pitch black dark. He was on his back in the middle of the bed with the covers pulled half down.  You couldn’t make out his face, but his breathing told you he was fast asleep.  You went around to the side farthest from the bedroom door and smoothed your nightgown under you as you lifted up the comforter and gently sat down.  You brought up your feet and slipped under the covers.  Joel’s breathing changed, but he didn’t move until there was a louder clap of thunder.  You scooted closer and whispered his name. 

His head jolted up and he gasped. “You okay?”

“Yeah.  But I got scared of the storm.”

“‘C’mere, darlin’.” He turned onto his side to face you and stretched his arm out.  You scooted over and laid your head on it. He draped his other arm over you.  “You’re okay, I got ya.” He pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

You lay there with your arm nestled between you and your hand on his chest.  He touched your hair and kissed you on the head a few more times, then dipped his head to kiss your lips, nudging your head up to face him.  The kiss was languid and both your lips came to a rest without pulling away.  You stayed like that, both of you breathing through your noses with your lips nestled between each other’s. His breathing slowed again, and your breath began to match his. Your lips finally fell away as you drifted off in his arms to the sound of the storm.  

-

In the middle of the night, you woke up on your back with Joel half on top of you, one of his legs between yours.  You stirred and he put more weight on you.  He sighed your name without waking up, and the sound of it in his mouth gave you butterflies. Then he fisted your nightgown over your breast and slurred, “‘m sorry.”  His body jerked and he gasped, then relaxed again. A few seconds later, he mumbled, “had to.”  His breath deepened.  “For us.” 

Your mind became an empty pit, and your heart raced. “Had to what,” you whispered. 

“Please." He became unintelligible. "Please," he repeated in distress. 

“Had to what, Joel?”

He jolted awake at the sound of his name. He jerked his head up then relaxed as he felt you beneath him.  “You ok, baby?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

He took some of his weight off you, rolling back onto his side and resting a massive hand on your chest. “Sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.”  

He sighed and rested his forehead on your shoulder for a few seconds.  Then you asked, “What were you dreaming about?”

“Hmm. . . didn’t know I was dreamin’,” he said.  “But I reckon I’d dream about you, darlin’.” 

“What about me?”

“Ohh, you and me. . .”  He kissed your nose, then your lips, then whispered, “and the rest of our lives.”  His words bypassed your mind and wrapped your heart in the tightest little hug.  It was already getting difficult to imagine a future without him.  You could hardly picture it at this point. What would you even be doing? The same things you’d done your whole life, at the same house, with no hope of meeting someone to share it with. Even if you met someone, you couldn’t possibly imagine anyone else making you feel this way. 

—-----------

The storm had died down.  By then, it was just the loud patter of rain, darkened with a steady rumble.  Joel pulled you close and planted light kisses on your mouth. Then he slid his tongue between your lips and the kisses became deeper.  He shifted to hover over you, and you reached out to trace his form, starting with a hand on each pec, sliding them over his shoulders and down to where his triceps stretched his sleeves.  You could imagine nothing hotter than Joel with his hair out of place, shoulders and biceps bulging through his white t-shirt.  He leaned down to kiss you like he hadn’t seen you in days.

He lowered himself to lay half on top of you again, and you felt the warm shape of his cock hardening against your hip.  You and me, and the rest of our lives. . . Between his words, his weight, and his passion, you melted under him.  He rested his forearms on either side of your torso.  He planted a kiss on your cheek, then your chin, then your throat.  His lips opened and closed, opened and closed, crawling wetly up and around your throat without ever breaking contact.  His hips pushed his hardness against you and you sighed.  He sealed his lips in the crook of your neck and sucked, moaning quietly into your skin.  He tore his mouth from your neck with a low sigh to say, “You’re gorgeous, baby.”  His voice was hoarse from sleep or want. 

He sealed his lips around yours and you could feel his affection with every brush of his tongue.  You could taste all the words he wanted to say–that he was desperate for you, would do anything for you, could never lose you.  You kissed him back, slowly but hungrily, your hips lifting into him, telling  him without words that he could have all of you, you were truly his.  You kissed harder, your mouth hanging onto his for dear life, and he moaned into your mouth.  A groan was building in your chest but you just wanted to hear him.

—

He sighed as his hardness dug into you, then his hand reached down between your legs, under your nightgown.  He lightly dragged his middle finger up and down the crotch of your panties, still kissing you deeply. Then he traced the same line with several fingers flattened together. He broke the kiss to try to read your eyes in the dark.  Then he said, “God, I love you so much.”  Before you could say it back, he covered your mouth with his.   His hips slowly rolled into you as he sucked and tasted your mouth.  The rhythm of his stiff cock against your hip made you physically weak with desire.  

You tried to shift your hips under him.  He got the message and put himself between your legs, resting both his forearms on the bed again.  With his cock laying heavily against your mound, you ached with need, dying to be filled, at least by his fingers.  But you were also a little shy about how needy you felt. He kissed you with so much love, and you felt just as much for him, but your brain took over for a moment and your lips stopped moving.  

The moment you started overthinking it, Joel noticed and pulled back.   He experimentally grinded his cock against your front. He leaned his temple against yours and whispered, “Just ‘cause it's there don’t mean ya gotta do anything with it.” 

You breathed an internal sigh of appreciation, even though you were salivating to have it in your mouth again. To have it anywhere, everywhere.  

—

He cupped your cheek and stroked it with his thumb.  “I just wanna make ya feel good.  Can I do that?” You nodded “mm-hm,” and his hand returned between your legs, ghosting your clit through the fabric.  “Cause I don’t have to,” he went on.  “Won’t hurt my feelings if ya go back to your bed, okay?”  You nodded.  “We’ll just do what you want,” he said. Except for what I want most, you thought to yourself.   

Joel reached down to adjust his boxers, then he backed up and kissed his way down your body.  Every press of his lips through the satin gown made you throb more.  The faint silhouette of his hair made you imagine he was looking up at your face after every kiss, making sure you were still with him.  Of course you were.  The nightgown had already ridden up. He pushed it further, planted his head between your legs, and kissed you through the cotton of your underwear—softly, then harder.  His mouth drew a long sigh out of you as the tension inside you swelled.  

His fingers hooked into the hem of your panties and he slowly dragged them down.  He covered your warmth with his mouth before you could feel the cool air.  The underside of his tongue licked down your dripping seam as his fingers on your thighs continued pulling your panties down. 

His head broke away to finish taking them off, and he breathed, “you’re my favorite taste in the world, baby.”  

His mouth returned between your legs, and he devoured you just like before.  Licking, sucking, flicking his tongue, moaning into you.  When he began to fuck you with his tongue, your need to be filled by his cock only strengthened and demanded attention.  You said, “Get me ready.”

“Hmm?” 

“Ready for you. . .You said my body has to be ready, too.”  

He dabbed the corner of his mouth with his wrist, and you could almost see his smile in the dark.   “That what ya want?”  His hair was out of place already, which made you want him even more.

“Yeah,” you whispered.  

“That’s what we’ll do.”  

—-

He started while he was still between your legs.  He inserted a finger and kept kissing your clit while you sighed.  He pulled his head away and  flattened his fingers.  He gently rubbed you as he crawled back up the bed and stopped with his face near yours.  His face hovered an inch from yours as he rubbed your desperate, slippery, beautiful mess.  He stroked you just right, then pushed his finger back into you, his lungs audibly sucking in a long, deep breath. 

Your head tilted up and your mouth fell open.  He pushed the finger to the hilt and an obscene moan fell out of your mouth.  

“Oh baby, you sound so beautiful.”  He began to move his hips against your thigh.  “This okay? Or you want me to take it away.” 

“No, no, don’t take it away.” 

He exhaled half a laugh and slowly pumped his thick finger, staying mostly inside you, curling against your front wall.  “How’s it feel?” 

“Really good,” you whispered.  “Gimme another like last time.”  

His cock twitched against you and he kissed you as he slowly pushed another finger in. He moved them in and out and his hand hugged your mound as he did it. Your hips lifted into his hand and you broke the kiss with a sigh that became a whimper.  He groaned softly at your desperation and kept rutting against your thigh, fucking you slowly with his fingers. After following a steady rhythm for a while, he clamped his palm down on your mound, adding friction to your clit as he worked his hand. He began to bring his fingers out a little more to slicken your clit again.  You throbbed and moaned and could hardly stand it.  

“Joel,” you sighed, and struggled to find words.  You sputtered out, “I —Joel, I just — I want–ugh–want you, so bad.” 

His voice was low and soothing. “Ohhhh, I know it darlin’,” he commiserated.  He planted a kiss on your neck as he continued the push of his fingers inside you and his cock against you.  “You’ll have me, baby,” he murmured huskily.  “We’ll have each other.”  He worked his fingers and grinded his cock against you in opposite beats of the same rhythm.  

“Another one,” you whispered. 

“It’s too much, baby.” 

“It’s not,” you whined.  

“Let’s add one of yours.”  He removed his fingers almost entirely and lifted his palm up to make room for your hand under his.  “C’mon.”  You nestled your hand under his and carefully added your middle finger.  You slid your finger in against your front wall, nestled in a triangle with his two fingers as he pushed inside again.  You couldn’t reach very far, but it was enough to feel the stretch. His hand engulfed yours and controlled the rhythm. It was a different feeling, touching yourself with your finger nestled under his.  You enjoyed the stretch and his hand engulfing yours, but you could only imagine how much better the smooth tip of his cock would feel.  

Moving your finger with his, Joel asked, “Feel good?”

“Yours feel better.”  

He lifted his palm and you removed your hand.  He kissed you as he began pistoning his fingers deeper and harder.  He swirled and scissored them as though making room inside you.  

“Joel,” you sighed and your spine curved, jutting your breasts into the air. Your nipple fell out of your nightgown and his mouth was on it right away.  

He kissed your breast, moaning into your nipple.  Then he kissed your chest, then your neck. “God damn, baby,” he murmured hoarsely.  

“Just one more,” you begged. 

He grunted with a strong thrust against your hip.  “Ahh—Might be too much.” 

He paused his rhythm and slowly added his ring finger.  So slow it was torture.  

“No, don’t stop,” you whined.  “Just give it to me.” 

He gave it to you, grouping his fingers as close as he could together.  The stretch burned by the time he was half in, but you asked for more.  You winced at the burn and he took the finger back out.  

“I’m okay, it felt good,” you reassured him, but he went back to fucking you harder with two fingers instead, and that felt even better since he didn’t hold back. The burn quickly faded, drowned out by a throbbing tingle that consumed your whole torso, and spread to your thighs, down your legs, making your knees weak.  

Before long, you were writhing under him.  He sucked your breast again and you moaned his name.  He sucked your neck, then whispered into it, “You’ll be a beautiful bride.”  Your breath hitched and your eyes widened at his words, but you didn’t want him to stop.  He continued, “You want that, right?” 

You nodded and heard yourself whisper, “yes.”  

Joel sighed and brought his lips back to yours.  He pressed his hand into your clit as he worked his fingers to bring you over the edge.  “Yeah,” he breathed. Your body jerked and you moaned.  His hand hugged your cunt as you came.  “Ohhh, gooood giirrrl.”   He kissed one half of your mouth as your climax continued.  His breath was hot against your cheek.  “Love feelin’ ya like this.” 

—------

The rain had slowed even more, and the thunder was fading. Joel used his wet hand to pull his stiff manhood out of his boxers with a quiet groan.  You reached down to feel it and he shivered at your touch..  The tip was shiny with precum, smeared from rutting against you through his boxers. He must have been aching as bad as you were.  You took your hand away, opting to wait and see what he had in mind.  

“I don’t have to do this here,” Joel said, his voice weak with need.  Then he added in good humor,  “But it does need doin’,” and those words landed between your legs.  

Your lips parted and you took a deep breath, your eyelids heavy from your orgasm. “Do it here.”

Joel gathered more slick from between your thighs, and the contact gave you an aftershock. He stroked himself and breathed heavily.  He rested with his hip and forearm on the bed, and you turned onto your side to face him.  

He got closer, right up against you with just enough room to stroke himself.  You listened to the wet slide of his hand around his shaft, his breathing, his soft grunts.  It occurred to you this was something he did regularly, and now you could imagine it so vividly.  The idea of Joel thinking about you and getting himself off was almost too hot to bear. You draped your top leg over him. 

He fisted himself and kissed your shoulder.  He nosed your nipple, then dragged it up until his face lifted off your chest. He grunted softly as he pumped himself and pressed his nose, then his mouth, into your neck. He was farther down than you on the bed, and the head of his cock was so close to where you ached for it, you could feel the heat radiating as he stroked himself. Then it grazed you, sending a zap of energy through your loins. 

“I swear I'm ready,” you whispered. 

His voice became shaky. “God damn, I wanna pack you full of this.”  He grunted with hastening strokes.  “That’s what it’s for, baby.”  He bowed his head, and his disheveled hair grazed your cheek.  He brought his face up again and kissed you on the lips. “Gonna be all yours,” he murmured hoarsely into your cheek, then added, “and you’re all mine." 

"I'm all yours."

"Oh, God," he shuddered as he rolled onto his back. "Baby, I—Ohhh," He exhaled loudly and his body jerked as he came onto himself, sighing "ohhh God, baby."  He caught his breath and laid there in silence with you. You rolled onto your back again. He sat up and took the soiled t-shirt off, then laid on his side facing you and rested a heavy hand on your chest.  

–

With your blood finally flowing back to your brain, you considered what Joel asked and what you said.  Yes, you wanted to be his beautiful bride.  On some level, it occurred to you that yes was perhaps the only answer, but did that matter if it was your heart’s desire, too?

You asked, “You think we’re meant to be together?”

“Oh, peaches,” he sighed.  “I’m sure of it.” He kissed you and stroked your cheek, then held you tighter.  “You’re my world, and there is nothin’ I wouldn’t do to be with you.” He rolled you toward him, nestling your head under his chin, and held you until you fell back asleep.  

—------------------

When you woke up in the morning, Joel was freshly showered and standing next to the bed, buttoning a flannel shirt as he watched you sleep.  When you yawned, his eyes brightened.

“Why don’t I always sleep here?” you asked sleepily. 

He laughed silently to himself with a side-eye at the floor.  “Don’t trust myself, darlin’.”  

Your face burned at the implication and you shyly hid half your face.  His smile faded as he looked at you, then he added hoarsely, “God, if you knew how many times I’d thought about you.” There wasn’t so much as a hint of shame in his voice. It had the warmth in your cheeks traveling down, down, down. . . “We’re almost there, baby, but we gotta do it right.  We’re almost there, I promise.” He reached into his pants to tuck in his shirt and adjusted himself while he was there. Your eyes fixated on the bulge in his jeans. “God damn,” he exhaled.  “Turns me on thinkin’ about it.”  

He lightly rubbed his bulge in just one stroke and adjusted himself again from outside the jeans.  It didn’t seem like he was trying to start anything, but he got on the bed and hunger spread across his face as he reached you.  He kissed you needily and tore the sheets off you.  You let him in between your legs and wrapped them loosely around his thighs, your feet resting near his knees. He pulled down your nightgown and sucked your nipple, inhaling deeply through his nose.  Then he sucked his neck, and your clit throbbed against the friction of his jeans.  He hardened against you and kept on for a minute, not escalating things further.  Then he tore himself away with a groan. 

—-

“Wish I could stay here all day and just do this,” he lamented as he got off you to sit on the edge of the bed.  “But I gotta go to the QZ.”  

You protested, “What for?” 

“Somethin’ I gotta do every month, as long as the radio says so.” 

“Can I come?”

He shook his head.  “Too dangerous.” You expected as much. 

“You really have to go?”

He sighed.  “Yeah, darlin’.” 

“You’re leaving me alone?”

“Your parents left you here for a reason, ‘member? Cause it ain’t safe out there. You think they want me takin’ you there anyway?” 

“I know.  But you said it isn’t safe here either.” 

“It’s safe-er here.” 

“Just don’t go,” you whined. 

“If I don't, they're gonna know somethin's wrong, baby.” 

“I don’t-.”

“--nothin’s wrong, but they're gonna think somethin's wrong.” 

“Something is wrong,” you reminded him.  “Abe’s missing.” 

“He–Abe–darlin’.”  Joel sighed, shook his head, and abandoned the topic.  He looked down and rubbed his temples with his middle finger and thumb. “I’m sorry, peaches. I gotta go, and I can’t take ya with me.”

“Will you check on Frank at the Army hospital?”

Joel hesitated, then said,  “Sure, baby.” 

“Are you going to Tommy’s? Bill’s staying there, right?”

“I’m gonna try, darlin’.  Don’t wanna leave ya for too long, though.”

—----

While Joel made you breakfast, you went upstairs to change.  You also sat down at the vanity and used the stationary to write a short note to Bill and Frank. 

Love you and miss you so much, but Joel is taking good care of me. 

Joel read it.  “This is real sweet, peaches.  But do you want’em thinkin’ I’m takin’ care of ya? Thought you wanted to show you could do it.”  He made a good point.  You went upstairs, started over. 

I love and miss you both so much. Frank, Please get well soon.

When you gave it to Joel, he folded it up and put it in his pocket.  He told you to stay inside, and reminded you not to open the door for anyone but him.  He would be back in a few hours.  

—----------------------

After Joel left, you lay around for a while thinking about him and your life together. You went to the kitchen and were about to idly open the pantry, when the counter beside it seemed to move, catching your eye.  There was a trail of ants leading to the apple blossom in the jar. You stepped back. The blossom that had looked so nice the night before was yellowed and crawling with them.  It was like time was moving in slow motion.  You left the scene as it was.  You grabbed a shiny apple from the basket on the opposite counter and went to the sofa to read.  You couldn’t wait for Joel to get home and tell you how Frank was doing.  The minutes crawled by, and you tried to immerse yourself in the story to pass the time.

Only a few pages into your book, you were about to bite into your apple when you heard squawking outside.  You set down the book and went to look out the kitchen window.  You couldn’t see where the noise was coming from.  As you looked out into the orchard, you were startled by a tickle on your arm and flicked off an ant with a gasp.  You hadn’t so much as touched the counter–it felt unfair.  The squawking continued, and you were going stir crazy wanting to go out and see what all the fuss was about.  

Less than an hour after Joel left, you decided to break his rule.  You knew he was protecting you, but it also didn’t seem fair to expect you to stay cooped up inside all on your own.  He could have taken you with him. You knew he could have protected you from any harm that found you.  You looked around and couldn’t find your shoes.  Not in your room, not by the front or back door, not in the living room.  You wouldn’t let that stop you. 

You went outside barefoot, careful to look in front of your feet so you wouldn’t step on anything dangerous.  The sky was gray and dim and the cool air was refreshing even with its humidity.  Branches were scattered everywhere from the wind of the storm. The ground beneath the peach trees was carpeted with yellow leaves sticking wetly to each other.  One third of a peach tree was hanging by a thread off its trunk, the tips of the branches scraping the ground with every breeze.  It could have snapped off at any moment, while the rest of the tree stood proud like it didn’t know.  

You followed the squawking and found an apple tree full of crows.  When you approached, they swarmed into the sky, forming a cloud before settling together on another tree.  With nothing better to do, you followed them.  The second tree was near yours and Joel’s.  They flew toward the back of the orchard and you didn’t follow.  You shuffled around your tree, looking on every branch for a fresh apple blossom.  On the ground, there were layers of leaves and lots of fallen apples.  You were moving your feet slowly and carefully, and your toes caught on something inorganic.  Something rigid, fabric.  You lifted your foot and when the bill of a hat emerged, you reflexively kicked it away as if it were alive or worse. As if you could simply kick away the pit in your gut.  Your stomach turned as you looked at your Red Sox cap on the ground. 

The crows squawked and squawked, and your heart pounded.  You looked around the orchard as if something might be closing in on you.  The trees seemed to get closer, the sky seemed to darken.  Your thoughts kept repeating, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to be with you. Nothing. Nothing in the world, peaches.  You refused to articulate the gut feeling into a thought.  You wouldn’t dignify it. You took a deep breath and grounded yourself, focusing on the feeling of the wet leaves stuck to your ankles.  

You covered the baseball cap with leaves again, burying the feeling as best you could, and rushed back toward the house. On your way back, you stepped on a broken twig.  When you got inside, you saw it was bleeding. 

You cleaned up your foot, then it occurred to you to check the living room closet. You opened the closet door, and the other cap—Jesse’s cap—was still there, exactly where you saw it. To your relief, you also found your shoes neatly laid on the closet floor alongside some loafers and boots.  You left them untouched.  

You settled in with your book again, hoping to distract yourself.  You bit into the apple.  Your teeth sliced right through the skin and sank into soft, mealy flesh that almost making you gag.  You tossed it outside into the leaves because you didn’t want any more ants, then you locked the door behind you.  You sat back down on the sofa and didn’t even try to pick up the book again.  You resigned yourself to facing your thoughts. 

You explored the worst case scenario of what Joel might have done to be with you.  You concluded it was silly to think you had been that important to a man you hardly knew.  It was narcissistic, you told yourself, to think he loved you that much.  That he would really do anything, just to hold you in his arms.  It was the fabric of fairy tales, and it was grotesque.  Especially because it didn’t disgust you.  It gave you butterflies, and not just the nervous kind.

—-------

As soon as you heard Joel’s truck pull into the driveway, your mind returned to Frank.  You had a few seconds before Joel came in, and in that time you realized you should greet Joel before asking about anyone else.  You didn’t want to be rude.  When the door opened, you got up and kissed Joel and told him you missed him.  On your way back to the sofa, you noticed a spot of blood from your foot on the flooring and hoped Joel wouldn’t see it.  

You sat down on the couch and asked him how Frank was.  Joel’s face was solemn as he took a seat next to you and put his hand on your knee.  Your chest tightened at this gesture and the next few seconds felt like an hour until Joel spoke. 

"He's doin' better, baby." 

You broke down in tears of relief.  You would have cried no matter what.  Whether Frank was better, worse, or even if Joel didn’t see him, there would’ve been tears of happiness, sadness, or fear.  Joel took you in his arms and you buried your tears in his neck. 

“So they think he’s gonna recover?” you asked. 

“Think so.” Joel looked at you, concerned.  

“What do they think it is?”

“They’re not sure, darlin’.  S’pose it could be an allergy, or environmental.  So it’s a good thing you’re here with me.”

“Did you give’em my letter?”

“Yeah.”  Joel leaned forward, lifted himself for a moment, and reached into his back pocket.  He handed you your letter and you unfolded it so quickly it almost ripped. Joel slowly rubbed your back as you looked at the piece of paper and tried to steady your hands. 

There was a note in Frank’s handwriting:

We love you so much.  Protect yourself.

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Thank you all so much for reading and engaging with my unhinged story. Y'all are truly the best. 💙

I challenged myself to do the smut scene with little if any visual description, hope it worked out okay.

I do not expect the next chapter to be nearly as long.

There are more virgins on my joel master list, and you can follow @toxicfics and turn on notifications for fic alerts.

All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose  @fandomsfallnomore  @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339   @manazo @wolvesandvampires  @taeslarityy  @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk  @filthfairy  @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles  @harriedandharassed  @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy  @cutesyscreenname  @weddingfairy  @pedropascal-whore  @spideysimpossiblegirl  @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot

The Lincoln tag list will be on the toxicfics reblog 💙

[kiwi-astrology]

Moon Signs in the Composite 🌙🧸💛

Moon signs in the composite chart represent the inner world of the connection. It’s what you guys see that others don’t. It’s the sacred emotional vessel between you both that allows for deeper understanding and comfort. The moon sign in the composite can show how the connection feels safe and nurtured.

🍭💙☁️Aries: Heightened emotions that thrive on thrill and excitement. The relationship that enjoys going on late night drives to walk a bustling city sidewalk, looking for adventure. May need to feel like a kid in this relationship to feel safe. There is a need to comfort your inner child and allow recklessness to be a part of the connection. Mistakes need to be accepted and forgiven. Sometimes there is more safety felt feelings emotions separately, but this does not mean you should skimp out on sharing those feelings even if it’s not mutual. Use the excitement that naturally secures this relationship to create a non-threatening environment for full emotional expression. 

🍵💚🧩Taurus: Constant uplifting attitude and unconditional support is needed to feel safe in this connection. A mutual understanding of personal time, space, and care is also prominent. The times spent together will always feel safe and protected, but time apart needs to occur as well. When one person feels “left-out” a possessive and dangerous side can come out. Make emotional boundaries and emotional space clear. With that reassured for both people, maximum safety and comfort can occur. Enjoys making space for emotional comfort and expression that can occur through taking pictures, watching television, making meals, going shopping. All the mundane joys in life that can be shared amongst the two (and time only between the two rather than in a group) for bonding. 

🛼🪩🫧Gemini: Emotions need to be stimulating and curious. There is an enticing risk with sharing emotions and opening up in this connection. Depending on your personal moon sign, you may become more questioning of emotions and safety with this moon placement. You will be curious to explore each other's secrets, desires, and inner world. Great placement if the need is to communicate feelings and hypothesize the unknown. Twin-like gemini energy will require both people to interject ideas into conversations you both share. Just as much as one person is curious, the other person will be. The constant add-on of ideas can begin a rabbit hole of intellectualizing emotions that can be hard to defeat. Remember to leave room for feeling any emotions between the two without creating a formula from it. Hone in on the youthful curiosity of emotions and label any thinking as “thinking”. It will allow room for the natural curiosity of the gemini moon in the composite while not straying too far away from the beauty of the moon. 

🩰🫶🐚Cancer: A nurturing connection that will grow an urge to protect each other from. One person can begin to take on a mothering role over another. Others may not see how much it scares one another to care deeply about a connection. This connection becomes an emotional sanctuary for one another and there is a desire to “come home” to one another. Very sensitive to each other's emotional changes. Be careful to not monitor each other's emotions too much. Others may not see how losing or being apart from this person can feel like a house fire. You two begin to bring each other comfort the closer you get. 

🌞💛🏖️Leo: Emotions are bold, dramatic, and expressive. It will be hard to hide any feelings from one another. Without emotional expression, the relationship becomes uncomfortable. There is safety in grand gestures to display feelings for one another. If your emotional connection is hidden from others, there could be speculation of deceit on either end. You want everyone to know how you feel, because the connection feels too special to hide. It will be safe to engage in child-like expression and joy. You both will allow each other to be passionate about the desire to connect with each other. Any “minimizing” of feelings or emotions will feel unsafe and uncomfortable. 

🛵🏵️🧘‍♀️Virgo: Need to delve into reasonings behind feelings within the connection. A need to constantly share emotions, especially if they are unfamiliar. One person may feel drawn to intellectualizing the emotions of another. A need to calm down from any emotions brought on by the relationship alone. Journaling about any feelings regarding this connection is important. Things may be better explained after journaling or through journaling/text. Emotions could often be spilled out online, they may feel safer to be expressed at a distance. A need to “be better” at holding each other's emotions. Feeling responsible for each other's emotions. Could influence each other to go to therapy to better compartmentalize. A soft spot for defending the other person's emotional distance from others/a community. You’ve studied each other's emotions enough to “understand why”, but try to not feel a need to always defend them. 

🍓💌🤍Libra: Comfort in this relationship is found in treating each other. Spending time making any task fun. Whether it actually be fun tasks or ones forced to do together, there is a comfort in sharing joy. A good moon placement in connections where you always want to do things together, or have to do many things together. Sharing space and feelings will be comfortable, but not overbearing. It may be harder to feel comfortable sharing darker or unpleasant feelings. No hesitation to feel joy and peace with each other.  Not everyone will see the ease of comfort you guys have together since there may always seem to be some distance due to indulging in positive feelings. 

📝🖤🌌Scorpio: Emotionally intense but close connection. Others may not see how much you actually care for the other person. It may seem the opposite. I’ve seen this composite moon placement attract public gossip if one person is jealous over the other because of how close they seem…in a “peculiar” way if one person seems to have more than another. There is an unspoken bond to embrace the depth of any and every emotion together. A comfortability being with each other even if there is an experience of heavy emotions. It may not always seem this way to others, but a ride or die bond to ensure the other is safe and protected. 

🪷💟💒Sagittarius: Others don’t see how philosophical and all-inviting this connection is. How much exploration and discovering you guys do with each other. This moon placement in the composite embraces every emotion and feeling to experience without intellectualizing in this connection. Long deep talks about the emotional safety and security needed will benefit this moon placement. Accepting every emotion of the other person and rejecting nothing will ensure both people feel safe to express emotions. There is a commitment to holding space for each other's emotional state and well-being. Much like the centaur symbolism, if one person’s head begins to get in the clouds the other person will try to take on the role of the grounding horse to stabilize the connection. Make priority that not one person is taking up the emotional space without ever giving any room to the other person. Equanimity is granted after mutual respect for this. 

🥮🤎🪐Capricorn: As simple as it sounds: being there for each other. Becoming the person each other can rely on. There is a responsibility to be of stable use to the other person for their emotions. Commitment is stable and reciprocated. An objective and straight to the point release of feelings and expectations you have for each other ensures safety. There will be a need to clarify expectations garnering the relationship. Work can become an issue that interferes with emotional safety and security. One person may simply choose work over the relationship. Others may try to balance it but their desire for work overshadows the emotional need of the relationship. Someone could feel “less than” for not prioritizing work as much as another. Ensure that time is made to focus solely on the emotional needs of the relationship beyond practical home-life matters. The structure has no meaning if the insides are starving. 

🪸🦋🧁Aquarius: Others will overlook the deep friendship within the connection of this moon composite placement. There’s a sense of alliance and being there for each other that others may not understand. Especially in non-romantic connections, there will be a continual force and need to support one another when needed. Emotions are at a safe distance from each other, but that does not mean a lack of support. It may take awhile to open up to each other, but there will always be a friendship present. If at social events or in community settings, this moon placement will allow both people to find comfort in each other's physical presence. Unusual environments will not startle this couple’s emotional baseline. There is security in being able to come back to each other comfortably no matter the situation. 

🪼🩵💎Pisces: Deep romantic desires come out in this connection with this moon placement. Whether it is romantically or opening up about your romantic side with friends/companions, it will feel safer to embrace this energy. You will both see hidden whimsical sides of each other that not everyone is entitled to. There can be a blind empathy as well, always being open to absorb each other's emotional state and be a vessel of creation. It could be easier to feel more artistically inspired around each other. It can be hard to address the “uglier” emotions as you will feel drawn to wear rose-colored glasses regarding your emotional expression with each other. 

[harmoonix]

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Astrology Sweet Notes Part III ❦❦❦

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❦ Moon - Pluto aspects are having very powerful emotions and feelings, they are very intense and can feel everything every single change of attitude, and these natives can have trouble with opening their feelings just as a shield in case they hurt.🫂

❦ Saturn - Sun aspects can feel very restricted to be themselves, their true version, they can feel restricted of their feelings/emotions and they can feel they don't fit in this World. If you have these aspects please let me give you a big hug because is not easy ⊂⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠つ, i wish you all only the good things and many blessings to come for you🫂

❦ Mars - Neptune aspects can make you obsessed for your partners, obsessed enough to have erotic dreams with them or to fantasize or daily dream about them 🫂💖😍

❦ Sun - Venus aspects can give you such a beautiful grace and presence, a lot of good vibes and very warm energy, you are like a diamond who shines brighter in the light

❦ Mercury at the Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°) makes you romantic enough to write love poems about your love partner, these people are so romantic while communicating with their partners make them feel like heaven ⭐

❦ Pluto in the 1st house is such a beauty 😍 these people can have such a powerful magnetism towards others and because of that they can also attract a lot of jealous people

❦ Venus - Neptune aspects can sacrifice very much in their love relationships and they can feel they give too much love and they don't recieve the same amount of love back, it can be draining ☹️, please be careful over what people you feel in love you with 💖🫂

❦ Moon Prominent people look very angelic and pretty they have such a beauty and they look fascinating, their aura is magnificent, mesmerizing, i don't even have enough words to describe is just amazing 🌘

❦Sun Prominent people are having such a attractive energy towards others, they can attract so many good people and they have such an amazing presence they crave for luxury and expensive 🏆

❦ Venus in the 9th/Sagittarius house can make you a lover for traveling and discover, also a lover for spirituality and your beliefs, you can fulfill your dreams for traveling far away, here Venus is a bless the 9th house is the "House of God" and these people can experience many blessings in their life🥇🥇🥇

❦Mercury in Scorpio\Leo\Aries\ they are talking dirty 24/7 and they are also very flirty in their words but they can get horny very fast 🤣 take care if you are around them they can think at naughty things 24/7 and even in the bad situations 🤣🤣🤣

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❦ Jupiter in Libra/Scorpio/Sagittarius can really have a very funny laugh, and these natives laugh are full of life to make others to laugh too and also is something very mutual for them to be funny around other people they can joke about things 24/7 and have a pretty big humour

❦ Taurus Rising are having a very very very big love for expensive things and for living a rich life they see their lives as "🤑" they can crave luxury a lot

❦ Leo Risings love to make drama, not much but a bit of drama enough to get people attention because they need it, these people can use their power in attracting others attention very fast

❦ Uranus - Ascendant aspect can have a very unique thing in their appearance, and they like to be different, to be out of the crowd, these people are in their own world because this world failed to make them feel good.

❦ Neptune - Sun aspects can often attract a lot of animals around them, because their energy is a Disney Princess 24/7 i see them as Snow White singing with birds around them, i think the animals can feel their good souls and come at them 💙😽

❦ Mercury Retrograde in a chart can represent that when you feel to talk for something, do that 100%, don't be restricted to talk, do what your hearts says and fight for your dreams, talk for others too if you want because you can be very good at giving speeches.🔥

❦ Saturn in the 5th house, at some point you will met the right person for you to love you for who you are and to respect you and your feelings, boundaries. Don't be scared that you will never find a partner, the right person will come at the right time 💝

❦ Saturn in the 7th house is a very karmic placement if we talk about love relationships these people can have very karmic partners and a lot of karmic lessons involving love relationships. Trust me besties i know what i talk about i have this placement in my Vedic Chart and Sidereal 🥹 Saturn wants to teach you a lesson about love 🥹❣️

❦ Scorpio Moon/Moon in the 8th house can get very posesive of their partners, these people love 100000% intense and when they get attached...You should feel the luckiest person on earth if someone with those placements gets attached to you because they will love you no matter what and stick with you til the end they are very very very loyal in their love relationships.🔥 Treasure for others for sure 10000%%%

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❦ Jupiter - Sun aspects: can be very lucky and attracting many opportunities due to their very optimistic personality

❦ Moon in the 5th house can make someone a "romantic hopeless" here the Moon is in a very romantic position and can make the native very romantic and in love with a lot things

❦ Never make a Water Moon ANGRY seriously, natives with Water Moons/Moon in water houses (4th,8th,12th) can get you very scare when they are angry, most times are very calm but if they get angry the situation can be very explosive

❦ Mars/Mercury in Fire Signs can scream a lot and very loud, usually when they get angry these natives tend to get very furious and angry and they can have very volcanic personalities

❦Scorpio Risings/Aquarius Risings/Pisces Risings can have very sleepy/tired eyes, please make sure to rest enough and always a good long sleep is very welcomed 🥹🛌

❦ Sagittarius Risings are very honest people, i observed a lot of Sag's Risings being very honest with everyone around them, and is very admirable because these people don't tend to lie, if you want a honest opinion about something i think those people are very good alongside with Capricorn Risings who are the same they can be very honest, Capricorn Risings can be brutally honest sometimes but i think a good motto for them it will be "Better a hard truth than living in a illusion"

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With muchhhh love Harmonix ❣️💞