#or The Asshole for short

[gisellelx]

This scene has definitely officially hit the cutting room floor; there's now absolutely no way it can come back into the fic so I'm dropping it here as an actual real honest-to-goodness outtake in the original, "cut from this story" sense of the word.

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The locker rooms at the rec building were expansive; with dozens of rows of freshly-painted lockers with dark wooden benches spread between them. Apparently, if you wanted, you could rent a locker for the year for a hundred dollars or so, but most of the lockers were open for borrowing. I stashed my backpack inside one, and affixed my freshly-purchased combination lock on the outside.

The mat and bag were also brand new. I asked Kelsey if there was a good exercise store downtown, and, once she finished laughing, she pointed out that the bookstore on Liberty sold plenty of yoga supplies.

“And this has nothing whatsoever to do with Will Edward,” she’d said.

“Aside from him reminding me the classes existed? You’ve seen me. Balance is not my strong suit. People have been telling me to do yoga for years.”

Her smirk had been instantaneous.

“Sure. Well, you let me know how it goes, seeing that body in yoga pants.”

I’d decided to start with the noontime one, which seemed likely to have more students. I hadn’t been completely lying that it wasn’t just for Carlisle—my therapists had suggested over and over that I try yoga; that it would bring my mind away from struggling over information about Edward and would calm my body. I just had never had any reason to do it. But our student fees paid for our access to the three gyms, and to all the classes therein.

I had no sooner stepped into the hall when I met Nabil, because I had of course I had run the same idea past him, a week ago.

He had just glowered.

“Fine,” he’d said. “See if there is a two-for-one on mats.”

“Two?”

He gave me a withering look. “Bella, there is absolutely no way you are taking yoga with the Asshole by yourself. I believe every word of what you said about what did not happen when he spent the night, I promise. But I also promise that dude has a dick, and you are someone he would definitely want to…” He pulled himself up short. “So yeah. I’m coming along.”

So now he was here, standing in the hallway in shorts and a tank top, with a mat rolled under his arm. I gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Thanks for doing this,” I said.

He rolled his eyes. “You are crazy. But I am coming to love crazy.”

We went into the studio. It was a basic gym, but with a dance barre and mirrors across one wall. Other students were setting up their mats; I picked a spot toward the back of the room, where we’d have a chance to see the instructor do the poses before we attempted them. Google told me that Ashtanga practice differed from Vinyasa in that Ashtanga was a set sequence of poses; I had at least looked at them ahead of time—they didn’t look too terribly difficult, at least not for the first sequence. The only difference I had found on YouTube seemed to be in the proficiency of the people who were actually practicing it. I was fairly certain I would not be putting my nose between my legs any time soon.

We were stretching on our mats when Carlisle entered the room. At least sixty percent of the heads snapped up, male and female alike. He was dressed like a true yogi, wearing a pair of tight, thigh-length shorts and a gray tank top, neither one of which left very much to the imagination.

Nabil was right. Carlisle definitely had…the requisite equipment.

[ahsokatanos-lightsabertechnique]

Okay I love the new rwrb movie but it was kind of funny to me how much they toned it down. Like in the movie you have Alex gently tell Henry "we need to talk" when he confronts him, meanwhile, in the book:

[zivazivc]

my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters

[luzho]

today, i present to yall:

zukka get thrown in a hole and annoy each other in the meantime

based on the first pic of this zukki x iasip post by @empathetic-menace (i swear, next time i'll draw the hug one with suki<3 maybe even in the boiling rock). i love the idea of zuko interacting more with the gaang during his covert stay in the earth kingdom, so naturally…! also: heheh. i liked letting them keep the sneakers, who doesn't love anachronisms.

[koumori-1999]

i had a random urge to draw my TFA megatron and optimus gijinkas again and retouch their designs a little

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

You wanna know who’s the best ally? It’s Ron “Slider” Kerner HEAR ME OUT—

It starts with Ice, because Slider was never homophobic, mainly because he never considered the idea of people around him being gay, he thinks he doesn’t have a reason to care

But then he meets Tom Kazansky and Tom Kazansky very quickly becomes his best friend, his brother

So when his brother tells him, voice shaking, hands fidgeting, eyes at the verge of tears, that he’s gay, Slider decides there and then that he would never be a reason for Ice to be scared

Of course he then meets Maverick Mitchell and thinks he might actually be homophobic because the thing Ice and Mav have going on is driving him insane

Slider realizes, as the relationship between Ice and Mav progresses, that now he needs to watch out for the both of them. He wants to convince himself that he’s only taking care of Mav because if they get caught then Ice goes down too, but deep down he cares, because he wouldn’t want Ice to be alone, to have no one on his side, no one watching his back, and Mav has no one, so it’s Slider’s job

Also I truly think Slider is the only straight person in his friend group but I didn’t want to make this post too long so I cut that out

[socialjusticeinamerica]

Please watch and share this chilling short video about Project 2025 criminalizing abortion access.

[crabs-brencil]

mb-art interactions featuring ratthi (with a surprise appearance of the electrical gloves lol)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my family eat my mother's terrible cooking?

I (32NB) currently live with my father (70M), mother (68F), and brother (36M). My brother is disabled and requires at least one full time caretaker. Up until recently, this was me. First, my mom and I were sharing the duty, but then my grandmother got sick and my mom left, leaving me working, going to school, and taking care of the house and my brother by myself most of the time. It's worth noting I'm also disabled (physically and mentally), I just lived on my own from 16-27 so I got used to dealing.

Now my father has moved in with us and is taking care of my brother which is a huge relief. My grandmother died and my mother is back and helping as well! As a result, and out of the severe damage all the previous work did to me physically and mentally, I have removed myself ENTIRELY from caretaking from my brother. I don't do SHIT anymore. I will occasionally make him a sandwich or something if I feel up to it. So this is where the assholery might come in.

My mom… cannot cook. She is terrible. I mean it. Whatever you're imagining: worse. I regularly impress one of my friends (just the one, I don't want to bad mouth her excessively) with tales of her horrifying abominations. Yesterday she cooked tilapia in MELTED. LIME. POPSICLES. because she thought it would give it a citrus flavor. She did not use other seasoning (no not even salt). We have lime and lemon juice in the fridge!!!

I used to cook at least half of the meals, and often would help mom with dinner when it wasn't something boxed, to avoid such… creativity (and because half the time when she cooked I couldn't stomach it). But now due to health issues (caused by illness caused by overworking), I'm buying my own food and cooking all my own meals regardless, so I have fully stopped cooking for the family because I can't eat what they eat and we can't afford to all eat what I eat. I am subjecting my poor family to lime popsicle tilapia. We are wasting food because she ruins it and then no one will eat it, at a time when eggs are like $8 a dozen. My dad cooks when mom's not here (he's GOOD) but when she is, he lets her.

AITA? Should I bite the bullet and start cooking for everyone again?

What are these acronyms?

[hongsasum]

I love that Alastor’s act around Charlie changes so quickly whenever and however it fits best in his situation.

He gets all handsy with Charlie when Lucifer first visits the hotel to make him think they’re romantically interested in each other, but that kinda falls through when Charlie introduces her actual girlfriend Vaggie (which I think is part of the reason why Lucifer seemed so enthusiastic upon meeting Vaggie — because he realizes that Charlie and that stupid red guy aren’t a thing, thank god)

Then Alastor quickly picks up on Lucifer’s insecurities regarding his absence in Charlie’s life as a supportive parent, so he switches gears just like that and starts acting like Charlie’s father figure, despite never acting like this before. It kinda works because he succeeds in both pissing off Lucifer and making Charlie trust him.

Finally, he approaches Charlie when she’s all alone with no one else, especially Vaggie, around to stop her from making a deal with him. “What’s a favor between friends?” he says as he rubs his cheek against hers. So now all of a sudden he claims they’re friends, which implies Charlie should do what he asks of her. And then he totally ignores Charlie as she rants to Alastor about her girlfriend on their way to meet Rosie, although it’s natural for “friends” to rant about stuff and listen to each other.

So no, Alastor doesn’t view himself as Charlie’s love interest, father figure nor friend nor does he try to be. But he can switch out masks to take on any of these roles without hesitation if it means he can manipulate Charlie (or others, in Lucifer’s case) to see him as such.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

one of my favorite (/sarcastic but not really cuz its like funny idk) things in fandoms is when people make ocs or self inserts or 'x readers' being shipped with characters, but the oc/sona/reader is literally just another character from the source material.. its like youre shipping the characters but didnt want to admit it, so you made a kinsona and branded it as something else..

and its NEVER subtle, actually its super blatant every time and im always shocked when nobody points it out..

i have seen uncountable saiki k x readers where the description is like:

"saiki meets someone whose thoughts he cant read for the first time, and even though he doesnt trust her at first, she keeps proving that she is kind and has good intentions!" you mean nendo? reader is girl nendo?

"this time, he meets a girl whose thoughts honestly match up with her spoken words almost perfectly for the first time!" hairo. youre shipping saiki with girl hairo.

"saiki meets someone whose thoughts are too fast and jumbled to re-" ITS AKECHI, THATS AKECHI, ITS LITERALLY AKECHI.

"saiki meets someone whose just as immune to teruhashi as he is for the first and only tim-" this is hairo again, awe bae you secretly LOVE haisai ?!?

"saiki sees his old childhood friend for the first time in years after an incident caused them to be apart and then they fall in lov-" WHY DID YOU EVEN WRITE THIS AND NOT CALL IT SAIKECHI.

its even funnier when they say its like that characters little sister, but the way they write it is still literally just the character, like their personality, dialogue, even their relationship, is the same..

not all of them fit this exactly, but the ones that take a boy character and turn them into a girl oc to ship them with a boy, it reminds of how in equestria girls they couldnt make applejack and rarity endgame so they gave them boyfriends who looked IDENTICAL to each other.. thats what youre creating, guys, youre creating heterosexual rarijack.

[wangxianficrecs]

murder is easy, especially if you're murdering an asshole by ravenditefairylights

🔒 murder is easy, especially if you're murdering an asshole

by ravenditefairylights (@tiesanjiaoshenanigans)

Not rated, 5k, Yunmeng Trio

Summary: “I’m… I’m okay,” Wei Wuxian manages, sounding a little shell shocked. His voice comes out hoarse, and he coughs a few times. “Is he dead?” “You stabbed him in the neck with a pocketknife,” Jiang Cheng says bluntly. He’s sheathed his sword again, Jiang Yanli notes, but he sounds just as shocked as Wei Wuxian is. “Of course he’s fucking dead. It’d be a miracle if he took a hit like that and survived.” or in the words of the prompt: the yunmeng jiang trio deserve to do a murder and get away with it, because it's excellent family bonding time Mojo's comments: hee hee hee, this made me laugh Kay's comments: The Yunmeng Trio deserve a little murder, as a treat. Despite Jiang Yanli being threatened by Jin Guangshan (rest in pieces), this story was very funny.

pov jiang yanli, canon divergence, yunmeng siblings, little murder as a treat, attempted sexual assault, asshole jin guangshan, sibling bonding, family feels, humor

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[satoruxx]

i love writing toji super fucking mean when he first meets you but then going embarrassingly soft as soon as you show him a hint of affection

[rejectingrepublicans]

🤡😂🤣

[kacievvbbbb]

Look I like Roger enough, I understand what he represents and I generally don’t think he was a bad dude. I do however think he was shit at interpersonal relationships because, what the fuck. Whitebeards crew is infinitely more well adjusted and I’d say he arguably had the more traumatic death.

Like what even, what kind of planning leads a 53 year old man to sire a child knowing he is dying of an incurable illness and is about to turn himself in to be excuted by the marines where he will cause so much chaos it is literally still turning the world on its head 22 years later. He knew he was going to cause so much of a stir that he literally disbanded his crew and told them to spread far and wide to keep them safe. Because he knew the marines would hunt them far and wide But yet he still brought a baby into the world. Babe. What the fuck? What even is that? What was the thought process. I sincerely hope it was an accident and not a deliberate attempt to bring about a new era.

Because if so babe I need to see the recipe or I’m afraid we can never let you cook again

[vicdraws]

Like moss on a stone.