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#or more accurately at least one year
krys-loves-otome · 1 year
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A Second Glance, Part 4
Rating: Teen (the entire work is marked as Mature, so read the rest at your own risk)
Pairing: Hideyoshi x Preg!Reader
Summary: A look into the aftermath of Chapter 3. There's also a flashback scene at the beginning.
Warnings: Pregnancy, references to and going into light detail about a past character's death, Nobukatsu also has a potty mouth on him so if foul language is something that bothers you, it's here too.
Notes: Adding in a few more people to Nobunaga's family tree as IkeSen canon makes it a little sparse. Added in his nephews Nobukatsu and Nobutaka (who were originally two of his RL sons, but made nephews for the sake of this story) and his little sister Oichi with her daughter.
Part 1 || Part 3
Read A Second Glance all in one place on ao3!
My Fanfic Masterlist
And many thanks to @tsundere-mitsuhide and @scummy-writes for beta-reading for me!
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"Thank you for visiting with us, [Name]. It was a pleasure to meet with you again."
Warm rays of spring lit up the flower gardens Nobunaga was sitting in alongside his younger sister, Lady Oichi. He had decided to visit her when she had written to him about her new daughter. He also decided to drag you along for the ride. You both had been too busy to see each other lately, so he claimed the trip for your benefit as well, to cure your loneliness of the time spent apart.
Though the sentiment was nice, you couldn't help but feel the slightest twinge of jealousy (and some other feeling you didn't have a name for then) when you see the usually demonic and ruthless conqueror giving all his attention to the bouncing infant on his knee, letting her touch his cheeks while she giggled and babbled away happily.
"Thank you for inviting us, Lady Oichi," you say, watching as the smirking uncle and his little niece engaged in a fierce staring contest. "I'm surprised he responded to your letter so quickly."
Oichi laughed. "Just Oichi, dear, please."
She glanced at her older brother, a wistful look in her eye.
"Truth be told, I am glad we get along as well as we do. He will never admit to it, and he will call me a silly brat until we both have gray hair and wrinkles, but he has always been there for me when I needed him. He always cared even if he does not always show it."
Oichi frowned.
"Ever since the falling out at Father's funeral, I have not seen much of my other brothers and sister, since I chose to support Nobunaga. We haven't spoken much since then."
"How many other siblings do the two of you have? If I may ask?"
"My brother hasn't told you?"
"It's… never really come up in conversation."
She paused to think.
"As far as I'm aware, two brothers and another sister still live, aside from myself. All of them are older than me while they are all younger than Nobunaga. The most I've heard from my family outside of Nobunaga… was when our sister's sons had reached adulthood recently. I am considering visiting them so they can meet their new cousin."
"Good luck, if you decide to do so." You say, "At least to help patch up those relationships."
"Thank you," Oichi smiled, "I am glad my brother has found someone as kind and reassuring as you."
The heat in your cheeks flared lightly but you smiled along with her nonetheless. Nobunaga smirked, reaching across to bring you in closer to him.
Morning light and chipper birdsong strained Mitsuhide's eyes and ears, not helpful in the least for his pounding head. Though he was fortunate to have a fresh set of clothes and some strong-smelling tea coursing through him, it did little to alleviate his fatigue and overall mood. His feet dragged only a little bit on the hallway floor.
"Good morning, Lord Mitsuhide," Mitsunari, fresh as a spring daisy, greeted with a small nod.
"Morning," he returned half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair, "I'm sure you've heard that Hideyoshi called this emergency meeting because of what happened last night?"
"Yes, I've heard." Mitsunari frowned in thought, "Lord Hideyoshi asked me to look after Lady [Name] so suddenly last night, I didn't have much of a chance to ask him what was going on. All I know is what Lady [Name] knew of the situation."
"Well, the short of it was that there were assassins sent in the night. At least two of them, in fact."
"Two assassins? Lady [Name] had said you had killed one of them."
"The other was lurking nearby. My vassals found him and interrogated him."
"The first one could have had information as well," Mitsunari said, "Why did you-"
"I find men who wander around with unsheathed blades quite uncouth. Especially around unsuspecting little mice and monkeys."
Mitsunari blinked and cleared his throat.
"Then, what did you discover from the other assassin? The one your vassals caught?"
"He was under orders to capture Azuchi's castle chatelaine. Preferably alive but it wasn't a guarantee."
"Do you know who sent him?"
"Not him directly, but his… I guess we'll call him his 'dearly departed comrade', had an Oda insignia on his sword."
"An Oda insignia?" Mitsunari's eyes widened, "but that would mean-"
"Yes. Playtime with the Oda is over, I'm afraid."
"Over Lady [Name]?"
"She seems to have gained their attention without us noticing it. Lucky little Miss Popular."
"But, why?" Mitsunari asked, worried, "Why now? As far as I was aware, the Oda didn't acknowledge her existence, outside of Lady Oichi."
"It is a mystery. Someone must have noticed something was up, especially with Hideyoshi still sitting on his hands."
Mitsunari sighed, looking out at the chirping birds in the nearby trees. A chilly breeze ruffled their feathers, soon snuggling closer together for warmth in their nest.
"…It's been months now."
Mitsuhide gave a sad smile, to no notice of his companion.
"Grief is one of the hardest burdens to bear. Some just have a harder time letting it go than others."
"We can't keep holding it off forever."
"It's still in Hideyoshi's hands, whether we like it or not."
"Can't we just-"
"I've already tried with a threat to sweep the chatelaine away to my own castle. He… didn't take the threat too well." Mitsuhide laughed quietly, "he might have punched me then."
Mitsunari pursed his lips, frowning in thought. He looked Mitsuhide directly in his eyes.
"Would you have taken her if the chance was before you?"
Mitsuhide said nothing, still keeping his smile in place despite Mitsunari's hard stare. Only the bird chatter filled their silence.
After a beat, Mitsuhide chuckled quietly.
"It's getting late. Let's not keep our dear Hideyoshi waiting."
With a reluctant nod, Mitsunari turned away and entered the meeting room. Mitsuhide was slower to follow, watching the dripping icicles in the trees.
"The fox stealing the wife away while the husband sleeps?" he chuckled, his sad smile returning for a brief moment before his usual beguiling smirk took its place, "it’s a silly notion, Mitsunari. A story meant for children to warn them of the villains of the world. It couldn’t happen in real life, after all."
He turned away, facing forward. One of the birds flew away from the nearby nest, gliding into the distance.
Two identical sets of carnelian eyes glared at each other, the fire of anger hotter than any swordsmith's forge. A low guttural growl broke the silence along with a cup slammed on the table, splashing steaming tea.
"Why did you interfere, Nobutaka?!" snarled the scarred man before a poised man with long black hair tied in a low ponytail. "I almost had that bastard monkey! If you had just-"
"Murdering Hideyoshi was not part of the plan, Brother." Nobutaka said calmly, sipping his tea with furrowed eyebrows, "Our only goal in Azuchi was to capture the castle chatelaine. There was no need for bloodshed."
The scarred man, Nobukatsu Oda, huffed bitterly, scratching furiously at his short black hair.
"Why do you care so much about a castle's caretaker? What's so special about a wench that arranges flowers and sorts dainty napkins all day?"
"The fact that she was Uncle Nobunaga's chatelaine is curious. He never had one before, and then she suddenly appeared, as if from the heavens one day."
"Maybe he was really impressed with her decorating skills." Nobukatsu said sarcastically.
"Maybe you should learn to pay more attention," Nobutaka steepled his fingers, his glasses' chain glittering in the sunlight.
"Is it not strange that a woman with no social standing or noble heritage suddenly has the attention of not only Uncle Nobunaga, but his vassals and allies in Oshu and Mikawa? Even his enemies speak well of Uncle's castle caretaker. I find the matter quite intriguing."
"Are you really holding back on killing Hideyoshi just because of some woman you find 'intriguing'? That butt-monkey is still standing in our way of clan leadership! He is also the one stopping us from claiming what rightfully should be ours: Uncle Nobunaga's domain. What in all hells are you waiting for?"
"To see what the monkey does."
"…What?"
"Listen to me, Nobukatsu." He looked straight into his brother's eyes. "The fact that Hideyoshi is stalling for time is also peculiar. He could take the domain for himself, reaping the benefits and no one would bat an eye. But, he hasn't. He also refuses to relinquish it to anyone, Oda or otherwise. So, if he doesn't want to hand Azuchi over to anyone nor does he take the rule for his own benefit, why is he sitting on his hands, wasting everyone's time?"
Nobukatsu was quiet, grumbling as he tried to process his younger brother's implications.
"He's… waiting for the chatelaine… to do something? Since you keep bringing her up, she has to be important for some reason."
"You're catching on." Nobutaka chuckled, "I'm impressed."
"Enough mind games, snot-face. What are you getting at?"
"Again, Hideyoshi, as well as many others in Uncle's circle and outside of it, speak favorably about the castle chatelaine. Hideyoshi refuses to move forward with surrendering Uncle's domain or taking it for himself. My theory is that the chatelaine is carrying Uncle Nobunaga's child and that monkey is waiting to seize the child and name him as Uncle's posthumous heir."
"Wha-What gives that bastard the right to do that? He shouldn't interfere with-"
"Did I also mention that the chatelaine was named an Oda princess?"
"By who!?"
"Uncle Nobunaga, before his unfortunate passing."
"But, she wasn't related to any of us. She didn't wed him or was a named mistress. Hells, Uncle Nobunaga was never married so he couldn't have mistresses to fool around with."
"How quaint of you," Nobutaka continued, "but rumors have spread regardless. Other nobles claim the chatelaine an Oda princess, but can never substantiate their claims, other than what they heard from sources in Azuchi's castle, not from the clan itself."
"So, let me get this straight. You're saying that Uncle Nobunaga possibly knocked up his chatelaine and now Butt Monkey Hideyoshi is gonna try and claim the brat as Uncle Nobunaga's heir after he's already dead because the chatelaine has some fake princess title?"
"That's my theory on the matter."
"It's bullshit."
"I did not ask for your opinion."
"It's bullshit he thinks he can name some random bitch's accident as heir. Is there any proof the little punk's even Uncle Nobunaga's spawn? You did say the chatelaine was 'spoken of highly' in Uncle's circle. Could have screwed one of his vassals and claimed it was Uncle who did it. Could be Butt Monkey's kid for all we know."
"No one will know unless a child suddenly materializes, if my theory is correct."
Nobukatsu grumbled again, glancing out at the dripping icicles.
"So what do we do now, since you're so insistent about not killing the monkey."
"Right now, we wait to see how Hideyoshi responds to our little… message. Hopefully he's not dead, no thanks to you."
"I still think he's better off dead than you doing this song and dance you keep doing. Easier that way."
"I'm trying to be civil, to go about things the right way. Unlike you who bludgeons his way into getting what he wants."
"At least I'm getting results while you sit on your ass drinking tea and playing Go all day. Heh, it's no wonder I'm twenty minutes older than you; you had to sit and think about being born before the midwife pulled you out."
"And you're a crude, boorish oaf who has no patience for anyone." Nobutaka deadpanned "You're a terrible general with a short temper as well."
"And you're lucky you're my brother, else I have half a mind to cut out that tongue of yours."
"Oh, I feel so loved and appreciated in your presence, dear brother." Nobutaka stood, "now get out of my sight. Your entire existence disgusts me."
"Your face disgusts me."
"Your insults are as poor as your provinces."
"They're still bigger than yours."
"Get out of my castle before I throw you out myself!"
"That, I'd like to see." Nobukatsu laughed, standing up, "Go ahead and throw me out, you weakling brat!"
"My lords!" a voice spoke up in the doorway, a servant with a scroll in his hand, "a message has arrived from Azuchi."
"Hopefully good news," Nobutaka spat.
"I'm afraid not, sir," said the servant, handing over the scroll. "Lord Hideyoshi was quite displeased with your threat, as it were."
"Who cares what he thinks," Nobukatsu snorted, "Most aren't exactly itching to be taken out by assassins."
"At least we know he's still alive enough to be irritated." The younger brother read over the message, his eyebrows furrowed. "He also says to not threaten him or Azuchi's safety again, else he will have to take 'drastic actions.'
"Be more than what he's currently doing," Nobukatsu sighed, "now what?"
Nobutaka crumpled the paper in his hand and threw the ball into the fire behind him.
"I think if you want something done right, you'll have to do things yourself. I'm going to Azuchi to see that insufferable primate and Uncle's beloved chatelaine."
"What, to prove your pet theory right?"
"There's a reason the monkey keeps holding Uncle's legacy hostage. If he freely won't give it to us, I say we should go and take it from him."
"Great idea, I'm going with you."
"No, you're not."
"Someone has to save your scrawny ass if a fight breaks out."
"I'm more than capable of protecting myself, thank you."
"No, you're not."
"Says you."
"Says me who has saved your ass more times than he can count, which is pretty high."
"You just want to come along to impale your sword on someone."
"Would you rather I impale you instead?"
Nobutaka sighed.
"Fine, but no killing while we're in Azuchi. This is going to be a scouting mission of sorts. No bloodshed."
"Only if they provoke me first."
"As if that's a difficult task." he sighed, sending his servant away, "whatever will keep you quiet."
Nobutaka stood now, taking his tea cup and walked out of the room as his brother took the opposite direction.
"Azuchi and Uncle's legacy will be in the right hands soon," he said quietly, tightening his hold on his cup, "no matter what stands in my way. No stupid monkeys and certainly no upstart chatelaines will stop me from gaining what’s supposed to be mine."
Cooled tea slid between his fingers, his cup having cracked with the sheer strength of his grip. He threw it against the wall, a satisfying crash resounding in the otherwise silent halls.
Light puffs of smoke floated away into the evening sky, the stars just starting to turn visible. Hideyoshi closed his eyes, sitting on the veranda, the coming night chill not seeming to bother him. He leaned back, feeling every joint voice their discomfort.
With a sigh and another puff on his pipe, he finally noticed you standing a little ways away from him, bundled in a warm haori and holding another dark green one in your hands, neatly folded. Hideyoshi coughed loudly, frantically trying to put out his pipe, erratic smoke puffs escaping his mouth.
"[Name]!" he choked, "What are you doing up? Didn't I already tell you about good sleeping habits starting-"
"Yeah, last night," you said, "right before Mitsuhide gave me a week's worth of nightmare fuel."
"…Nightmare fuel?"
"A-anyway," you continued, "I didn't know how long you were going to be out here, so I brought you a jacket."
"You didn't have to, [Name], I would have been fine without one."
"It's still cold out, Hideyoshi. I'm… We're worried about you. Me and Mitsunari, that is." You handed it to him, standing at his side. "And… they're, they're worried too. We all are."
After a minute's pause, Hideyoshi reluctantly put it on, hiding his hands in the sleeves.
"It's still late," he said, "and it's been a long day. I won't be much longer, promise."
"…Can I stay just for a little longer?" You asked, "They… they've been getting restless lately, especially at night."
"Well, we certainly can't have that, can we?" Hideyoshi sat up straighter, pulling one side of his haori open. "If you're staying, I'm keeping you warm while you're out here. No buts, missy."
You smile and laugh, accepting his offer of shared warmth. You take careful, slow steps on the shallow stairs. Hideyoshi's arm reached out to steady you as you descended. Once you were settled beside him, his arm encircled your shoulders with a comfortable amount of his haori covering you.
"Warm enough?" he asked.
"Yes, thank you."
He nodded, turning his gaze back to the darkening sky, the stars becoming clearer and brighter.
"It's funny," he said quietly, "holding you like this to keep warm, it reminds me of my early days of serving Lord Nobunaga."
You looked up at him, hoping this was the famous story from your time, of Hideyoshi and Nobunaga's sandals.
"I was… young and overly eager to please him, as he had given me my second chance at life. I was about to do anything if it would please him."
He paused while you waited in anticipation, watching his cheeks turn pink in embarrassment.
"Including… putting his sandals in my kimono… to warm them for him."
You snickered while he sighed.
"It was a long time ago, [Name]."
"I think it was sweet of you, thinking of his comfort like that."
"He laughed and called me a stupid monkey."
"It wasn't stupid at all!" you giggled.
"Now you're just being nice, [Name]," Hideyoshi grumbled.
You snuggled in closer, pulling your shared haori closer.
"…I dreamed of him last night," you said softly, frowning, "I think he was trying to warn me."
"Warn you?"
"He tried to but… there wasn't any sound in the dream," you paused, "save for one. When… when he was struck from behind and…"
You shivered. Hideyoshi held you closer.
"I should apologize to you," Hideyoshi said, clenching his fist. "iIf I had been faster, stronger… I could have reached you sooner. Hearing you scream like that, fearing I was too late… seeing Lord Nobunaga falling to the ground… I didn't know what was happening anymore… just that I was seeing red."
"Hideyoshi…"
"You… you were clinging to him so tightly, refusing to let him go. I… I held both of you in my arms, his blood was coating both of us… I… I was ready to kill Masamune and Mitsuhide for trying to separate all of us… and Ieyasu because he was touching you… to remove you from us… I … that day still haunts me."
His eyes were hard, lost in the memory of that day. It had been hard on everyone, the hardest to the two of you. A hollow victory with the biggest loss to all involved. You reached for his hand, both of your chilled fingers seeming to bring him back to the present. He gave an apologetic smile.
"See, I really have kept you out here too long. Your hands are frozen!"
He slipped his arms out of his haori, giving his remaining warmth to you while rubbing his hands over yours.
"C'mon, let's get you inside," he insisted while standing up, "I'll make you some tea and we'll get you some warm covers to sleep under. Four should be good. Or would five be better?"
One hand over yours, the other at your back to keep you steady on the steps, Hideyoshi held you securely despite his frigid fingers, making sure you safely made it onto the landing first, making you temporarily taller than him.
You turned towards him, his nose and cheeks red from the cold, sure to be matching your own, much to Hideyoshi's dismay.
Before he could climb to your side, however, you leaned towards him, touching dry and cold-chapped lips together with his. The tobacco still lingered on him, you noticed.
Hideyoshi froze, eyes wide open in surprise. When you pulled back for air, though his cheeks were warmer, his eyes, once again, filled with sadness. He let out a breath.
"Inside, [Name]," he left no room for argument. "Now."
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months
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Instruction on Courtship
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kennys-parka-jacket · 3 months
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idk how to word it eloquently, but seeing the fandom call Red goth is always surreal once you remember that Henrietta exists
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pleasetakethis · 6 months
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festivalofthe12 · 2 days
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God but ngl it took me. WAY too long to rememebr that Kakeru doesnt like Tohru for some complicated backstory reason I don't even slightly remember anymore hahaha
Like cmon dude. You're both Sohma in-laws!!!!! How can you be having beef with the 1 person who a) is inevitably going to break the curse FOREVER, and b) is like the one person EVER to treat your borfriend with unconditional kindness. Absolute madness I truly cannot remember his reasoning at all.
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medicinemane · 15 days
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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oathkeeperoxas · 1 year
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so apparently in order to "finish" my "wips" I have to "work" on them. it's in the name or something
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nellectronic · 3 months
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add “friday night parties” to the list of things I am NOT gonna miss about living in a dorm… I mean noisy neighbors were already on there but this specifically bothers me on so many levels
#see normally I’d just put on my noise cancelling headphones and it’d be whatever but#I am so determined not to fuck up my piercing#and I really don’t wanna tell them to shut up bc it sounds like they’re having fun and I’m in an especially too nice for my own good mood#and! I do genuinely earnestly want them to have fun. I am NOT a hater!! just bc I never got to do any sort of partying and never really#wanted to anyway doesn’t mean I’m gonna project that onto anyone else#but on the other hand friday nights specifically are sacred to me#as the first night of the weekend where I get to sleep in and the first night I don’t have to worry about assignments due the next morning#and also as a kind of religious thing#I don’t really observe shabbat anymore but I never was able to get used to the friday night = party time association#and I don’t particularly want to!! friday nights are for chillin and I like it that way.#anyway all this to say I am trying to enjoy my chill evening and there is NOISE and I’m not gonna do anything about it (at least#until Official Quiet Hours start) but I absolutely will complain#I convinced my mom to get a library card and give me the number so I can read books on libby#(would have gotten one myself but idk if I qualify for one at the library near my school and I’ll be gone in a few months anyway)#and now I am TRYING to read lockwood & co book 1#(yes it is technically a middle grade series. yes I am twenty two years old. if the show is anything to go by it’s a more accurate#portrayal of teenagers than any media I consumed as an actual teen. let me live)#but alas. The Noise#and yeah I know noisy neighbors are not exclusively a dorm thing but I can’t imagine a normal apartment will be nearly this bad#also to be clear this is not a weekly occurrence#I don’t actually think these particular neighbors have given me any issues before#which is part of why I’m feeling so patient with them… probably too patient tbh#I should probably delete this later#probably shouldn’t post it at all but oh well. what’s the point of life if you can’t share every minor annoyance with#a bunch of strangers on the internet?#screams into the void
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winter-spark · 7 months
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I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.
I think it's fear of being wrong.
#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate#that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it#I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense#that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess#I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow#and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there#I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...)#that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself#also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol#But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense#(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests#but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them)#I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things#so who can say yet#(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.)#Citron & his brothers#as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them#which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh?#but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them#so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day#or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___'#you know?#these tags are too long#sorry for rambling#I legit could've just made a separate post with them#but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them#I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway#still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this#idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3#by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol
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kangaracha · 7 months
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what's a really unfortunate discovery in my life in the last two years is that my boss told me i was racing against my beeper counting seconds last year and confiscated it (secret skill unlocked: can count to fifteen seconds in your head with extreme accuracy) and i'm like he cannot be for real with this, how do you Race Time. and then i play guitar against a metronome and You'll Never Fucking Guess What My Fatal Flaw Is
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gilfrespecter · 1 year
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OH!!! FUCK I FORGOT I GOTTA FIND AN ARCHERY RANGE NOW THAT I DONT HAVE TITS IM SO EXCITED TO LEARN HOW TO SHOOT CORRECTLY
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stripesysheaven · 10 months
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samwisefamgee · 1 year
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The funny thing about constantly telling yourself that things could be worse is that sometimes. They are :)
#youd think the moldy trailer was gonna be rock bottom#but apparently its staying in a basement covered in the dust of a thousand thousand catshits#with the same people who traumatized me over 22 years until I moved into the moldy box in the first place :)#because im STILL dumb enough to believe their promises after decades of betrayal! or more accurately i dont get the choice lol#either way if i dont get outta here fast it is game the fuck over. been too much mental and physical pain for this shit to be worth it#fucked anyway given how much debt and permanent degenerative damage has been done but at least I can live whatever shit years I get left#in relative peace#I mean fuck I used all my fucking energy yesterday doing shit for them instead of taking care of my own stuff and WHY#all I got was get asked over and over to work even fucking harder like what the fuck did I expect#years pass and nothing changes for the better with these people what the fuck#and even if I DO manage to find somwhere to stay with folks who WONT lie to me for years to abuse my labor and psyche#I'll be broken in body and mind and spirit and ill need a job within the week to not fall behind#i still havent gotten on my feet and every attempt to rely on family. no matter who.#was just an excuse for them to use me for all I had for nothing in return#cant exactly find roommates with no money no credit no will to live and 20 problems on top of that that mean I cant pay rent yet#and without any family who wont try to kill me slowly or any friends who arent so fucked themselves they cant help its lookin like#im fucked once again gang#to think i was so fucking close to escaping all of this before the pandemic happened lol. even what I had then just isnt possible anymore#if I hear one more baseless 'things get better with time :)))' I WILL vomit until I choke to death like buddy that just isnt true sometimes#straight up some people are born to eat shit and die. babies get cancer. its been 24 consecutive years of eating it and I aint whistful fam#not anymore at least#keep sayin 'well it could be worse' when its about the worst its been and youre just asking fate to prove you right#only reason Im not completely homeless instead of technically homeless is that folks actually on the streets are much tougher sort than I#gonna jinx this whole fuckin rant but it really is a fuckin joke. i cant live like this but most folk Ive met on the street#would jump the moon just to live in the moldy trailer I got kicked out of let alone a filthy basement.#this COULD be a home I could work and live out of. fellas is it picky to prefer despair over living with people who traumatize you#does that answer change depending on circumstance and time or is there truly no justification in not making your life worth it#or am I really just the pathetic stoner burnout dropout that my folks see me as? I mean categorically yes.#is there any justification redemption or even just comfort to be found in that state considering the Weight that induced it#does it even matter if no other person knows what that Weight has been or for how long its built. if no one ever will know? whats the point
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y’know maybe I should just try to continue working on my fics
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wheucto · 1 year
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i've thought that i was in the osc (as a fandom) since at least 2020 (when ii s2ep14 released) but now i realize that i remember seeing the meetup videos in 2017 and specifically that it happened to be on my birthday
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looniecartooni · 1 year
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I just saw a Tik Tok saying that Classical music was essentially made by straight white dudes and someone reacting to that Tik Tok saying that most cultures didn’t write down their music, they just spoke about it. Both are not wrong but also... very wrong. There were plenty of female and colored composers throughout the centuries that composed classical music and I’m pretty sure a good portion of them were not straight. However, they definitely do not get as much credit as Bach or Mozart (who are still great composers in their own right- unless we really want to talk about Mozart overshowing his older sister who was violinist) because of well- the times were a bit racist and sexist.
Nonetheless- there were (and possibly still are) female and colored composers so in spite of these two girls and because I’ve kind of listened out of curiosity to some of these composers a while back, here’s a list of a bunch of female composers and some of people of different ethnicities. If someone well versed in Classical music much more than me wants to add on to anything, feel free.
https://parkersymphony.org/women-composers#:~:text=A%20Look%20At%20Female%20Classical%20Music%20Composers%201,Chaminade%20...%208%20Ethel%20Smyth%20...%20More%20items
https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/latest/great-women-composers/barbara-strozzi/
https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/black-composers-who-made-classical-music-history/#:~:text=10%20Black%20composers%20who%20changed%20the%20course%20of,8%20George%20Walker%20%281922%20%E2%80%93%202018%29%20More%20items
https://www.thegilmore.org/blog/composers-of-color-you-should-know/
And also- to that girl that said many cultures didn’t write down their music and instead passed it by word, yes there were many cultures that did that. But we also do still have a lot of written records of music and art that survived to this day or got destroyed by another one or lost to time itself. And there are still cultures that had originally passed on their stories, songs, and art techniques by word of mouth and still do, but many have also gone on to write them down as a means of preservation. 
I encourage people to research more into this rather than listen to a white college student ranting from the top of their head what they remember from what little they’ve researched, but I hope this encourages people to look into this stuff more because it’s cool and interesting.
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