#or putting off sitting down to write
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need 2 make more fruity mota art... curtbucky or doublebucked or curtbuck or curtgalejohn... yet i have so many oneshots wipping...
#but my ask box is always open for art/fic/brainrot ideas#no this isn't me dodging my other responsibilities#or putting off sitting down to write#idk what you mean#buck x bucky#curtbucky#curtgalejohn#curtbuck#buckbucky#curtbuckbucky
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Coming soon…
'cause I want you (for the worse and for the better) by nonsensedarling
When Louis gets invited along to Anne's wedding, Harry is prepared to let people think whatever they want about their relationship. That's what Louis said -- let people think whatever they want. That all changes when Louis sees his ex, who turns out to be Anne's future husband's son. Now, Louis wants to prove that he's an omega that an alpha could want, and Harry wants to get through this weekend without letting his best friend figure out he's in love with him.
Written for the @1daboficfest -- posted here!
Moodboard by @dearlou
Read a snippet below the cut!
They walk into the restaurant at 7:02pm, and are promptly guided down a set of stairs into the lower-level party room.
From the doorway, Harry can see his mom and future stepdad, talking to a couple of younger guys – a dark-haired alpha and a blonde omega from the looks of it. They all laugh and his mom goes in to give one of them a hug while John clasps the other on the shoulder. That must be John’s son and the boyfriend Harry’s heard them talk about.
Harry takes a deep breath, smoothes out his shirt, and reaches for Louis’ hand, ready to walk in and muscle his way through this weekend.
But Louis doesn’t take his hand. Instead, he grabs onto Harry’s wrist and yanks him in the opposite direction.
“What?” Harry asks, stumbling a bit as he’s pulled.
Louis doesn’t say anything, just gets to the restroom area and shoves Harry inside one of the single-room bathroom.
“Ouch,” Harry says, shaking out his wrist. He watches Louis lock the door and whip around with wild eyes and frown lines etched into his face. “Louis, what the fuck? We’re already lat–”
“Will is here,” he says.
Harry furrows his brows, unsure what that is supposed to mean. “Will…?”
“Will,” Louis says frustratedly. He looks to the door as he adds, “Will. My ex-boyfriend, Will. Will, who broke up with me after three months because he thought I was too loud and too clingy and too much.” He turns back around to Harry to emphasize, “Will!”
Harry gasps. Ex-boyfriend Will, who refused to meet Harry because he didn’t like that Louis had an alpha best friend. “Dickhead Will?”
“Dickhead Will,” Louis agrees. “Fuck. Fuck.” He reaches up and grabs fistfuls of his hair.
What are the odds that Louis’ ex-boyfriend from Oakland is here in Sacramento now, working at the one restaurant where his mom’s rehearsal dinner is?
“Hey, it’s okay.” Harry steps close, and tries to pull Louis’ hands down from his hair, but they don’t budge. “We can ignore him, yeah? It’s just toni–”
“He was hugging your mom,” Louis interrupts.
Harry is confused. He shakes his head immediately, ready to say that no, that was his future stepdad’s son – when it clicks.
“William,” Harry says.
“Yes,” Louis says, annoyed, finally pulling his hands down from his hair. “Will is often short for William. Very good, Harold.”
“No. John’s son is named William,” he explains. “He’s John’s best man. They’ve been talking about William and Dimitri – his boyfriend.”
Louis pales. “Jesus Christ.”
“Okay, it’s okay,” Harry says, looking around the room like the sink or toilet will tell him how to handle this. “We’ll just… avoid them.”
The look Louis gives him is unimpressed to say the least. “Avoid them?” he asks, voice filled with mirth. “You –also in the wedding and the co-person of honor with your sister– want to try and avoid another person in the wedding party?”
Harry inhales, his shoulders slowly rising up to his ears as he closes his eyes. “I don’t know, Louis, I’m trying to think of what will make this easier on you. I’m not sure how affectionate they are, but I don’t want you having to see it the whole weekend.”
Harry opens his eyes when he feels hand digging into his shoulders. Louis gives him a little shake, eyes still wild but frown lines mostly unetched.
“That’s it!” he exclaims.
“What’s it?”
“Affection!”
Humming uncertainly, Harry says, “Affection?”
Louis shakes him again. “Yes.” He looks over Harry’s shoulder as he continues. “That bastard called me clingy, and basically told me an alpha wouldn’t be able to put up with it.” He locks eyes with Harry again. “I can show him I did find an alpha who not only puts up with it, but loves it.”
#i have been meaning to put a coming soon thing up for weeks now#but my brain is having A Time doing anything#but I wanna show off the beautiful moodboard Jo made!#like 97% of the things i write this turned out longer than I anticipated -- sitting pretty at 26k#i'm still not sold on my summary but we're working with what we've got#omegaverse fake dating#i also started a new job on top of my current one and am planning to flip my life a bit upside down so things are a mess -- but looking up!
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So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:
youtube
He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.
Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….
spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]
@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit
#The fucking banana. I was talking to him through the screen like#“…a banana??? You keep bananas in…. there? You good man? A—are you okay?#What the hell are y—” [cracks up but quickly stops laughing] “Oh— oh honey… you’re not right are you?#No you’re not right. Uh…. Why don’t you sit down; your breathing sounds awful. You sound like you’re gonna die…#OH GOD [loses my shit laughing/cringing ] “Oh— oh ouch. No no no— I’m not laughing at you I just— I like your actor…#a lot… too much probably#and he’s just good at what he does and the timing of it all… this is exactly how I act when I’m home alone#I swear I’m not laughing at you… I just— PUT THAT BANANA BACK YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF”#John Hurt#stage acting#Krapp’s Last Tape (2001)#Samuel Beckett#Yeah… funky stage play. Very moving and dreamlike#[This is me gently holding Mr. Krapp and rotating him in my mind like a bowl of ramen in a microwave]#Screaming crying throwing up beating the walls#I am unwell#Ough ough ough#It’s not difficult for me to watch per se#but I’m very much the kind of person who HAS to help when someone’s having a hard time doing something#— especially if they’re old or otherwise infirm — or I’ll feel like a piece of shit for weeks… and this fucking man#this fucking man is so good at being frail and pitiful that I feel genuinely agitated that I can’t reach into the screen and help him#It’s like the torture scene in 1984 all over again where he just barely manages to wrench himself upright on the table#then immediately falls off onto the concrete floor with the most tragic sickening bone-grinding splat you’ve ever heard#AND HAS TO HOIST HIMSELF UP ONTO HIS FEET ALL BY HIMSELF WHEN HE’S MALNOURISHED AND EXHAUSTED#Like ughhhhhh let me pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and carry him somewhere warm and safe and make him an omelette#And I know I write whump and I shouldn’t be this sensitive#but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MR. HURT YOU ARE KILLING ME#Youtube
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In case anyone’s wondering how my life is going, I decided to start an Owl House fic to work out the brain rot fast. It was supposed to be an anthological one-shot featuring a few small scenes.
We’re now about 5,500 words into the multi-chapter fic that I’m dedicated to finishing before I start rolling it out.
It’s only halfway done.
#At least I’ve found the motivation to actually sit down with it#Whenever I have free time#And I’ve only cried embarrassingly snotty tears while listening to the show’s ED one time#That’s a win in my book!#fanfiction#fanfic#owl house#writing#creative writing#Sorry to the zine stories I’m kind of putting off
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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Boy King Seb :D
#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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happy monday i'm torn on what to work on first: the harrowing journals of an antarctic explorer or the equally harrowing journals of a disgruntled security guard.
#texts.#i gotta start putting words down. i have a heading now i just need to sit and WRITE.#i feel like mike's chunk is a bit more pressing since it directly impacts cy's current storyline#where emil's journals are a bit more focused on world building and backstory.#but i also need emil's journals for [redacted]... tho that might take me a while to get to?#wip: the singularity project#area man continues to bite off more than they can chew. orz
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need to get back on my kuroo grind immediately
#risu’s rambles ☆#i purposely put off writing for him bc i do it so much#and now it’s nipped me in the bud#time to sit down and focus 🧘♀️
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do 2 + 12 for le lorrain pls 🥺✌️ good morning
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
That he's 100% one of the good guys but ALSO that he's allowed to be a bit of a jerk! I love that while he says he regrets what he did to Falconi, just a few hours earlier he's right there, literally taunting him about it and being a dick. We know he still lies to ladies for attention! Despite how well that went the one time! In that other ep his dad is literally asking for his help, and sure he wants to help, but he was actually still going to say no before Cartouche stopped him because he was more focused on keeping his identity as a Cartouchien secret.
He's a nice, smart guy, and he comes off as smooth so it's not as easy to notice, but you kinda get the impression that he hasn't completely lost the asshole vibes! And i think that makes for a fun character!
(special mention to the one bit where he walks next to Demachault and messes up his wig Just For Funsies, it's so gratuitous and i just think it's funny ok)
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
Bisexual le Lorrain REAL. I like the idea that those aren't feelings he ever really did anything about, because ultimately he likes flirting with ladies a whole lot and that's enough for him… but maybe he had some confused feelings for his bestie Cartouche for a little bit, and maybe that's part of what made him tag along when they first met.
In general i don't really consider that orientation as something that would've influenced the way he treated Falconi back when they were rivals; for the most part i like to think that he saw that relationship more as competition initially, and that things turned sour because he couldn't stand having someone he thought of as beneath him beating him at anything. Also i see him typically being more attracted to people who are outgoing, funny and talkative, and Falconi being generally none of those things wouldn’t have helped asdfjgk (the fun point being that maybe Falconi could've been a little bit more like that if he hadn't felt like people were constantly antagonizing him)
My other headcanon is that he’s a single child ans is absolutely a mama’s boy <3 She taught him music (canon!) and maybe spoiled him a little too much.
#cartouche prince des faubourgs#people need to send me more Cartouche asks bc i NEED to write down my thoughts on all these characters ok i love them so much#the big fanfic hadn't been planned to be shippy initially! and part of what i like about it is that at first#both Falconi and le Lorrain don't see much to like about each other#le Lorrain is attracted to fun outgoing people! people he can banter and joke around with! Falconi just seems cold and mean and not fun#meanwhile Falconi thinks everything about this guy is off-putting. he's loud and annoying and never seems to think!#and of course Falconi clings to his perception of le Lorrain from 10 years ago; when he was selfish and saw commoners as beneath him#so the fic is one massive slow burn bc they just. need to befriend each other before they can possibly find each other attractive#Falconi is always going to be kinda quiet! but he's confident and can actually be fun and snarky when he's around people he trusts#and sure le Lorrain is always going to be kinda loud but he's changed! he doesn't need to be the center of attention all the time#he knows how to pay attention to people and he actually does care! and of course he's smart when you actually sit down and talk to him#and look sure beyond all of this there's basic physical attraction#but neither of them were possibly going to acknowledge any of THAT while everything else was in the way#le Lorrain
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that unfortunate occasion when you're kind of sick and you want to write, but words don't work
#i can think of a story and then the moment i want to write it down my brain just goes nope. not doing that lol enjoy sitting around#it's my last day off work too oof#really wanted to edit a fic today#or maybe write some angst for blanche that i've been thinking of ever since @the-eclectic-wonderer made a blanche post#(thanks for that if you're reading this lmao i have NOT stopped thinking about her!!)#OR edit *another* fic i've been putting off finishing#too bad i guess :')#also very random but somehow i've been beginning to feel like joining twitter again. for precisely this reason#(the reason being the recent need to share every other thought that pops up in my head lmao)#alys.txt
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#hmm ik i dropped off on reuploading old artwork asdlkfjalsd i just can't be assed to find it n upload#anyway small appreciation time: loved just putting the right stroke in the right place w the right hard edges for the bullets;#critique: his badge dont sit right; his hat cld have larger form turns#granted this was a v quick dumbass shading-of-in's#one of these days im going to start writing essays breaking down my work n my processes bc my memory is so fckin shit
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.
#i kind of want to kill myself. im so disconnected from anything. i have no original thought. everything is scripted#everything is just put together pieces from things ive heard elsewhere and i do not have a single original thought#everyone can see that im masks all the way down and everyone can see that i am nothing underneath and even that is a stolen way of saying it#i have no way of making nothing palatable but i am simply nothing. invite me over and ill try to adapt to you and write a new script based#off new media but if you make me truly comfortable and somehow manage to unplug my behavior then youll be rewarded with me just sitting#beside you on the floor and staring at whatever media you show me without speaking much and only occasionally seeking further warmth from#you#i vocalized it to someone close recently but im a nothing void and i wish people all acted in exactly the way i wanted regardless#i have selfish fantasies about people just doing everything to make everything easy for me and if i were a god i would be an entirely#selfish one#if the right people would go and stay as i please even though im a nothing void and dont deserve them around#if they would all do whatever i needed like gave me cuddles or sex or affirmation or money or treats#if life was one long cycle of being the most treated god by everyone then maybe i could be something i dont know#maybe something could be manifested into me#everyone already projects an idea onto me so maybe a collective idea held by all with a great deal of love would make whatever they say of#me true and maybe then id exist fully#until then oh well#though in reality im just sanitizing a bit. having others fully as puppets serving me isnt something that i want because i think itll “fix”#me by any measures and id likely only grow far more sadistic and selfish but i wish for that world because i could live in perfect comfort#i could do anything i wanted and have anything i wanted and nobody would stop me#sorry this is just like. a long rambling in tags. i should shut up now
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person on the bus who didn't free the disabled seats they were occupying with their most likely abled ass and their fucking BAG when an old person with a cane got on and was searching for a seat you will go to hell i'll make sure of it
#they sat in the seat next to the disabled ones and now there isn't that much difference in this case#but it's infuriating bc i've seen people not get up even if there aren't other comfortable/close to the exit seats#and just out of principle you shouldn't even be sitting there in the first place!!!! bc someone might get on the bus and need it any time!!#and 99% of the time ppl seat there even when there's other free seats. like even putting aside that you should leave them free full stop#ppl literally couldn't care less about disabled ppl oh my god they don't even think twice about using those seats it doesn't even cross#their mindssss#ok lol i was writing these tags then i got to my stop which was also that disabled person's stop and another couple of people's#and this fucking asshole all but sped past that old person so they could get off before them. it was so fucking rude like they were getting#up from their seat to go near the exit but god forbid that slows you - poor abled person - down!#i swear to god people are so ableist and public transport CONSTANTLY reminds me of that. jesus#find some shame on the way to the lowest pit of hell#not to mention btw that the disabled seats in most buses where i live are a fucking joke i've been thinking of sending the public transport#companies suggestions on how to make them better and actually useful/accessible#they will of course ignore them and it will make me angrier but yeah have to try right#nico rambles
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It's a bit funny that to parts of my circles I'm 'the fandom one'/'the fanfic one'/'the shipping one' as the person they know most prominently into such things
because as much as i love writing my fics and shipping my ships my interest in both of those things is, I think, very narrow and specific compared to most people who are into them? due to my habits being like. very particular
#i think some ppl think of me as ahh my buddy who is always reading fanfic and i'm like. look. i would LIKE to be that. but i'm not#it's comically difficult to get me to sit down and read a new fanfic. for no discernable reason#the fandoms i like to read for don't even have big fic scenes but i've still checked out such a narrow portion of them#(and these fandoms are like. just a few. leaving aside MiA's dead tag. LOGH + T&B + Vorkosigan + ...anything else here would be a lie)#(Queen's Thief + Temeraire + TMA are on the backburner rn for reading fic but they were faves before yet i read SO little of what existed)#(everything else i just check out very occasionally or when directly recc'd)#i think mmmaaaybe 'my buddy who reads tons of fic' would be the case if there were new fics about the sages coming out every day#they're sort of a unique hyperfixation for me lol#but there are NOT. instead there are ((checks))#four (4) english language belavue fics on AO3 that are not by me#AND two of them i would say do not actually have any ship content and were likely just tagged that to be safe#as far as non ship content there are ((checks again)) 21 English language fics tagged with Belaf and I wrote 13 of them ........#(and 17 for Vueko and i wrote 10. two of the others barely mention her and shouldn’t be tagged lol) …guys i'm starving............#ok you read to the bottom of the tags you get to hear a selfish wish#i kind of hope that someday...someone will...write some fic about the sages either because of me or for me#gen or ship it doesnt matter#but this kind of thing usually happens in AO3 exchanges though and there aren't ones in this fandom because the fic scene is so miniscule#i'm literally running one right now off AO3 but have a feeling it will end up being mostly art and also didn't put myself in as a requester#since the people participating have largely made stuff for me as gifts before and i have a glut of lovely work from them#and again that exchange will mostly end up being art i feel and not fic. but some other time... i still wish ... more fic... pleae..plaeabs#there are very specific reasons i don't want to host an MiA fic exchange through AO3. i can guess the kind of stuff some people will reques#(the kind of stuff that's already in the tag.) and it's not stuff i feel like moderating an exchange involving >_> so i won't#but god.. ... ..... someday......i hope....there can be an exchange where i ask for somethinga bout these people.............
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finished the outlaw barbie game and have cried non-stop over arthur morgan ever since
#i put off finishing it for three or so years because my heart sensed it was about to be cracked and wolfed down like a soft boiled egg#i cried last night and then i watched youtube videos of people crying over the ending this morning and i cried again#it was cathartic to be sure#i think i want to start over again and do it right this time#i mean i finished with high honour and left the money so i got the right and good and canon-bright ending#but i didn't do things like read his journal or spend time fishing or sit around chatting when things were still good with the gang#apparently he writes “a <3 m” at one point i mean my heart my heart my heart#rdr 2#arthur morgan#no country for old men
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it's so cold but I don't wanna get properly dressed bc im scared of running out of my good clothes... water please come back I miss u......
god if ur hearing this CLEAN WATER. FROM THE PIPES. IN MANAGEABLE QUANTITIES. 🫷😳🫸
#my neighborhood didnt flood and we still have electricity so were ok#its just the water thats still cut off#we were able to buy drinking water and the whole building collected the rain from these past few days#but its still such a pain in the ass#oh you wanna take a shit? yeah sure just remember to go up to the 21st fucking floor and bring down a bucket of water so you can flush#you wanna take a shower? go put the kettle on and sit in this tub (as in the plastic recipient you use for laundry and not a bathtub)#like we were legitimately so fucking lucky and privileged to like. still have a home and our lives and all dont get me wrong#but i think i still have the fucking right to be pissed#exploding every billionaire climate change denier and complicit politician's houses a thousand times with my mind#the worst thing is that since my anxiety is through the roof ive been picking my skin a lot more.#you know. in the worst time possible to have dermatilomania#WHEN WE DONT HAVE FUCKING CLEAN WATER TO WASH OUR BODIES OR CLOTHES WITH AND THE HOSPITALS THAT HAVENT BEEN FLOODED ARE FULL#WITH PPL WITH DENGUE AND RESPIRATORY INFECTIONS AND IDK FUCKING LEPTOSPIROSIS AND CHOLERA PROBABLY#hell world#opost#why did i even write this in english#this is abt the rio grande do sul floods#brazil mentioned#latam#rio grande do sul#i just hope this pisses other ppl off enough to motivate them to take radical action i guess#........... 😮💨#vent#ok to rb
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