this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.
can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.
but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!
it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.
it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.
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woke up. lizard on pillow. like i opened my eyes and he was beside me and staring at me. lil green-brown fella. tongue like :p. he was the length of my pinky finger. as soon as i reached for him he scuttled away out of reach and vanished behind my bed.
literally lived a g/t first meeting this morning so thats cool
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okay not to waste energy being mad about the minecraft movie of all things but I am actually kind of heartbroken by how cynical it feels.
for example, making the creatures that inhabit the world offputting is so indicative of the underlying attitude the film seems to be taking to me. how many millions of minecraft animals, despite being pixels and code, have been genuinely loved by players around the world?
minecraft, despite everything it’s associated with these days, is incredibly earnest in a way that I feel few properties are these days… and genuinely one of the most beautiful games I’ve ever had the pleasure of playing. in its surprisingly melancholic moments in a solo survival world. in the laughs it’s given those far apart from beloved friends, allowing them to be roommates in a beautiful forest cottage or a volcanic fortress or a treehouse palace they’ve built together when thousands of miles apart. in the things people working alone and together have made of it- libraries of banned books made accessible through the medium of the game, scale models of worlds real and fictional, redstone machines with intricate circuitry and incredible intelligence and diligence behind them, in the friendships forged in the pursuit of these creations.
minecraft is collaborative and creative and contemplative in a way few games can be. minecraft, to those who have ‘beaten,’ it, says: everything you need is within you, the darkness you fight is within you, the light you seek is within you, you are not alone, not separate from every other thing, you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code.
minecraft, when so many games are about escaping from yourself, is about connection with your self, your creativity, the plants and earth and animals and structures around you, the people around you.
for it to be, in this context, a self-referential, debasing cash grab, is not a surprise to me but does feel like a disservice to what the heart of this game is, and symptomatic of a wider trend in a storytelling climate increasingly dominated by spin-offs and reboots and tie-ins and remakes. the writers could have had the courage not to break the fourth wall, not to point and laugh and decry the silly memeable ‘get a load of this guy,’ block game, (and by extension ridicule themselves,) but I understand. it’s the same instinct to make the self-effacing joke before you can be laughed at by others for showing your honest self, to cringe from the vulnerability earnesty demands. that’s fine. personally- and I’m probably not alone- I just wish it wasn’t this game.
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Huh, I didn't even realize it'd been a year since BG3 came out until I opened tumblr this morning. Kinda wild. I didn't think much of the game's release: I like Larian's games, and I like the BG series. I wasn't ever going to skip the game, but I didn't think I'd play it at launch because I was busy working on a novel in 2023 and not doing well financially.
Thankfully, circumstances left me with a little bit of extra money last year just before launch and it meant I could spend on a video game. I needed a pick-me-up after said 2023 novel failed to go anywhere, and BG3 was right there. Like most CRPGs, I played it in basically every moment of free time that I had and did as much as I possibly could in one playthrough.
It's so odd how these small happenstances can snowball into coming back to fandom, finding some friends I might've never met otherwise, and writing a lot of fanfiction along the way. I'll probably have something more interesting to say/share when it's the 14th, AKA when I sat down and wrote my first fic for this fandom.
Anyways, it's been a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to more years to come 💜
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let me be so fr y'all. i will NEVER shame a woman for having a man that treats her right. okay? that's always going to be a win, why would i complain about that? i just think that most of y'all that say you found him are fckn lying.
like i've watched women in dv situations lie through their teeth. they'll lie to their besties who know them freckle to freckle about their bruises. it doesn't even have to be abuse. i know how much women lie to keep up appearances with other women and i'm just saying i'm not buying it with most of y'all. that's my truth. and i start having issues when you start lying about that reality to younger women who will most likely just end up in the same shitty relationship bc of the false hope women in mid-to-shitty relationships with men espouse. and i can tell they're lying even MORE when they start trying to talk about how "women aren't necessarily better" whether that's about celibate or same-sex-partnered women. they'll drag their own female friends in order to convince everyone else that their man is truly the real deal as a status symbol. they'll shit on what their friends do for them in order to justify their veneration of this mid-ass moid. i've just seen it happen too many times, and that's why i think it's justified that radfems draw parallels between het-partnered feminists and liberal women who cling to femininity. y'all talk the exact same most of the time and even have the same arguments.
anyways.
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leona and jamil’s interactions in 6-67 and their growth
book 6 threw me in for a wringer with leona and jamil’s relationship, and it's funny because i never realized how similar they are until leona was pointing out all of jamil's negative thoughts about himself, as if he knew these thoughts like the back of his hand. tell me i'm not the only one seeing parallels between them:
jamil as a kid was told he was never going to be equal to kalim, because he's supposed to be kalim's servant; having to concede to him at every turn in private and in public.
leona as a kid hearing whispers about how he was so different from the bright falena, and how he wouldn't ever get the throne; all his achievements a mere shadow to anything falena did.
jamil who tried to create an elaborate scheme to pit everyone against kalim, and to subtly kick kalim from his "throne", only for it all to backfire, and for him to be so scorned by having everyone find out that he overblotted.
leona who created a plot in order to secretly reduce competition in the magift tournaments, and tried to severely injure malleus draconia to keep him from playing, only for his plot to be revealed, and for him to give up on trying, thus leading to his overblot.
and then when you think about it, leona probably sees the younger version himself in jamil. jamil’s lust for power is something that leona’s been through more than once, and he knows how being arrogant can lead someone down a bad path.
the rut that he was stuck in was the fact that he thought he was more suitable than falena. but was leona right for the throne ? or did he just want the throne to prove all the people who slighted him wrong ? and again, with magift, he knew that he didn't have the magic power to beat malleus, but he still wanted to win, so bad that he played dirty tricks.
sounds familiar ? it’s basically what jamil did to try and rip the housewarden seat from kalim. jamil thinks himself more suitable and worthy than kalim but is that because he IS more suitable, or is it because he wants to publicly be better than kalim at something for once ?
that’s why leona wants jamil to move on past that. he needs to throw away the arrogance that he’s the 'best', and that 'others just don’t see his brilliance', because…he has a long way to go. leona recognizes his potential. he learned the lesson that jamil is going through the hard way, that’s why he’s trying to help him.
jamil kept insisting that he could protect leona, because he’s convinced that he is more capable at protecting him, relying on his perception of who he thought leona was, rather than acknowledging his prowess. leona knows that he’s more skillful, and he, in the end, succeeds in getting him to accept that.
when jamil can accept that he doesn’t know all that there is, and that he’s at the bottom of the pecking order…that’s exactly when he can start moving up. that’s when he can start working on his skills for the future rather than lamenting the fact that others don’t see his potential.
and that’s exactly the lesson that leona wants him to learn.
okay a cookie for you if you ACTUALLY made it here bc whew this got really long really fast— thank you for reading this far and i hope that you enjoyed my interpretation of book 6’s events ++ leojami’s growth ^^ (also sorry if there’s any spelling/grammar mistakes, i shall fix it later)
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Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end
Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience
His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua
Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most
And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost
To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.
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