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#or worse she HAS but doesnt like what she sees
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HIII I'm immediately obsessed w your Just Say Yes au like GRHRGGRH I'm gnawing on this foreverr. as a sweater twins enjoyer though it's UGHH. angst <3 . but angst </3
even when mabel and dipper eventually reconcile (because I'm getting the feeling they will, at least someday) could mabel and ford ever reconcile? I'd imagine she blames him more than she blames dipper for the whole ordeal, and with stan inadvertently kinda making it worse (not to mention bill just. being bill.)
UGH and he'd probably still be too stubborn to admit or apologize even to his niece (I say this w love I promise). god save ford from the wrath of an arts and crafts girlie. the multiverse couldn't prepare him for her.
this is a tough question, and one i have been GNAWING on. ive been working on a full plot for just say yes beyond just the initial premise (there's a lot of stuff i have to consider! i'm even trying to consider whether there even should be an eventual weirdmageddon or not) so its like, i dont know the ending to it all yet, but i know that i want like. a happy ending but REALISTICALLY happy, yknow? so its not all kittens and rainbows but i think dipper and mabel are definitely gonna make up and theres gonna be the chance to heal. the chance is so important.
but that still leaves the question of the stans, and by extension, the stans' now-splintered relationship with their "opposite" pines kids. its tempting to say mabel never want to talk to ford again, right? he came into their lives, punched their grunkle in the face, made everything awkward and stressful for the entire time he was there, and by the end of the summer, took her brother away and then was part of the reason he became a paranoid shut-in.
but i think it eats at her that they have something in common that nobody else currently alive can say they have.
a friendship with bill.
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it's not JUST that bill is some master manipulator, its more about what he represents for both ford and mabel. both of them were approached by bill during a period in their life where they felt more lonely than they ever had before (especially in the wake of a rift between them and their twin) and bill purposely used that against them. how can they explain to people that they confided in bill, and they ignored the signs? how can they explain why on earth they would trust a DEMON? who could sympathize with the twins who sold the world?
i think thats what could be the key to mending the relationship between all four of them. ford being the one to reach out to mabel after everything's done, after she either helps billie bring about weirdmageddon or ALMOST bring it about depending on what i decide. i think for ford, whos been slowly realizing that he is hurting the people he loves, and has been forced to reckon with that because unlike fiddleford and stan, he's living with dipper and seeing him slowly grow into a reflection of his own negative traits. and he realizes that him and mabel separating was In Large Parts His Fault.
the fact that ford would reach out to mabel and try to extend the olive branch during the period of her life where she probably feels the most like a pariah, more alone than even before billie, to say "sometimes we do selfish things. but that doesnt make us irredeemable" is a sort of atonement for both her and himself, and also a way for him to admit that yes, he did hurt people
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imustbenuts · 2 days
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nuts reading trigun in japanese 7 - filial piety, and meryl
my alternate readings/translation/interpretation of jp lines are for triangulation purposes and nothing else.
ch 10-12. a more general scattershot of a post than over analyzing the japanese texts this time round. i think meryl in these 3 chapters is the most interesting character for me. but mainly bc she seems to be carrying a baggage: her struggle with filial piety.
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^OH's version
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ソレが普通ですわよ That'd be the most common sense thing to do. それにもともと家訓からして『自立せよ』ですからね But our house's motto is to first be independent above all. ドライといえばドライなのかも Mine would just be dry beyond dry...
me: hm. an office lady in the context of being written in 1990s by a japanese guy. i understand.
(i actually prefer OH's version bc the implications of what shes saying is the exact same, but more importantly leads into this page)
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いきついて見れば When I realized all that 何か大切なものを忘れてるのかも… Realized that perhaps I've forgotten something (filial piety) so important... 私… I...
(you can see how this raw translation fucking sucks. I'd reword it in a way that's along the lines of 'feeling so ashamed as to forget getting angry', but OH's version is a downright banger. 11/10 the implications of what she feels is still the exact same. love it a lot!)
right so.
filial piety.
filial piety for a lot of asians is... kind of hard to break down. but perhaps can be explained as "abandoning ones' parents is the worst sin one can do".
not being filial is an invitation to the most extreme judgement from relatives and outsiders in a society which upholds it as the absolute virtue. at least, for the most part. (late stage capitalism fucked it all up yayy)
abandonment can be in the form of presence and/or financial. if a child doesnt make bank to pay back for their parents raising them up, they're not filial. if a child is absent and not there to take care of their parent, thats not filial.
and not being grateful, not being filial, equals shame and warrants divine punishment. (check out folklores like momotaro and kaguyahime that touches on these themes)
meryl i think struggles with that bc shes likely an only child who is expected to work an office job after studying super hard for it, and is now living independently away from her parents. meaning, she is technically not present to take care of them, which in this context makes her feel immensely guilty.
to make matters worse, it sounds like shes one of those types where her parents possibly had to work a lot to pay for this and that, resulting in a severe lack of communication. so this compounds, and she can only write dry stuff in her mind.
milly, by the way, does not have this problem as much:
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she has a lot of siblings who can shoulder the weight of it all together, so in terms of that filial piety stress shes not doing so bad.
Badwick, the focus of this arc, by the way, faces the same struggles with meryl:
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i mentioned the financial part bc from how chill the parents are with him, i think its possible he was trying to sell the land for large sums of money for his parents to retire. theres an added level of resentment going on that complicates their dynamic, with a dead brother and a land that means too much to sell for any sum of money.
and also his parents are... too nice and understanding, jeez.
i dont think meryl has the resentment. i think her case was similar in that her parents worked hard to provide and kinda neglected her in the connection part.
ofc this might then bring up the question of, 'isnt filial piety kinda transactional?', and, yeah. it... frankly can be. some parents have weaponized it, knowing that a society which forces unconditional love and financial support from a child is a good retirement plan. and it sucks. nightow must have realized this and sidestepped it.
whether bc it will not be well received by the then jp audience or if he just doesnt want to tell a story about this, i dont know. there could also be the fact that the 90s was a bad time to be talking about securing retirement for parents when the economy was circling the drain.
trigun gets dark later. we are getting love and peace above all else, at least for now.
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...hm something seems to be rising over the horizon. but we can deal with that later. domestic violence
also i think vash is the kind who would also be a filial son to rem. this aspect of him is just lurking silently in the background in hindsight. in a barrel.
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(incidentally i think this is also why luida and brad got promoted to surrogate parents position in stampede. much to ponder ponder...)
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z0mbiefrank · 2 years
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yuridovewing · 6 months
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sorry i keep bringing up the leafstar victim blaming scenes, i know some of yall are probably sick of it but i keep coming back to it and being bewildered all over again. like i cannot stress this enough- THEY HAD LEAFSTAR SCREAM AT AND VICTIM BLAME AN ABUSED PREGNANT LADY. THEY HAD HER SENT HER AWAY TO BE HOMELESS. THEY THEN HAD HER WANT TO PHYSICALLY ASSAULT HER FAMILY FOR BEING LIKE “hey we dont want her to have zero support actually??” AND. WE. WERE. SUPPOSED. TO. BE. ON. LEAFSTAR’S. SIDE.
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nowendil · 6 days
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#sorry to vent post yet again the pms is pms-ing. i am ultimately in the end ok and this too shall pass etc#cw pet death#UNNA IS FINE no worries#i just. i just really miss Pulmu. my baby my sweet old lady. jesus fucking christ#i just. idk i still hold a lot of regret over her last months. i loved her so much I DID but no amount of love#and money and guilt and open mouth sobbing could make her not Old and Sick.#i just refused to see that because i wanted her to be alright so badly#i feel so bad about letting my feelings go over her comfort. i'm so sorry baby i shouldnt have hung on to you as long as i did#of i could change one thing about the whole of world's history it would be that. so you wouldnt have to die scared in a hospital#but i cant do that. i just have to live with the memory#usually i try not to be too hard on myself about it. first of all because beating myself up about it doesnt change anything#and also because i recognize that i was profoundly mentally ill about the whole thing. (not joking)#like i genuinely dont think i have ever felt and been worse than i did when Pulmu was old and sick. i wasnt thinking clearly.#i should have been but i wasnt.#it has been 1 year and about 8 months since her passing and still sometimes i dont know what the hell to do with all that grief#some days i'm completely fine and i can talk about her without problems. and some days i sob into my pillow feeling like i just got shot#ah well. nothing to it but to keep on trucking#i hope she's fine wherever she is.
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volcanogoblin · 10 days
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:')
#what do you do when you feel like everyone else in your friend group cant see or recognize how annoying a person is#sjshsksbsksnsksjs i cant stand her i get so annoyed when i see her or hear about her that ive just had to leave#and tbh my mental has been a lot better since......#idk its gotten to the point where i struggle ignoring her or being cordial because im just like “OH MY GOD get over yourself”#yeah were all sad it doesnt make you special and you arent the most sad either#people who make how depressed they are part of their personality / their only personality trait are my biggest pet peeve#and i think a big reason for that is i used to do that so i understand but like that will only make you continue to feel worse because#youre like always acknowledging the sad and youre building your life and personality around how sad you are to the point where you CANT get#better because sadness is part of who you are and it feels like losing that sadness is losing the only part of yourself you know and#understand#but no!!!!!#thats just how you stay sad!!!!#some people think if you arent sad forever then your depression isnt as real as other peoples and i think she is that way#which is another reason i cannot stand her bc she thinks im not depressed too just because i dont talk about it#bitch!!!!! ive tried to kill myself!!!! i have self harm scars that will never heal from 10 years ago!!!!!#but i dont make it part of my personality!!!!! why would i!!!!#ugh im so annoyed that i feel like i have to prove myself#and its like if im not depressed all the time then i never was depressed#when bitch i was put in a psych ward!!!!!#i hate her#tbh#im starting to think i cant go back#i miss a lot of people but bc of her i just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#vgobvent
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arolesbianism · 3 months
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Thinks abt my lob corp nuggets oh so hard. I may only have second hand half remembered knowledge of project moon worldbuilding but I will still forever obsess over my lil guys who suck absolute ass
#rat rambles#oc posting#I <3 women who are just straight up bad people#this is mostly abt my girl yuri but its also abt my girl juliet#yuri is well. she's certainly smth.#she's very fascinated in psychology and in particular the psychology behind abnormalities#and it is for this reason that shes in disciplinary#for most of her life one of the things that had facinated her most is the mind'd reaction to pain and suffering#so she finds suppressing abnormalities to be very fun and interesting#her girlfriend maxy certainly has an interesting perspective on this aspect of yuri to but it kindly#maxy has a lot of self loathing mostly relating to how numb shes become to everything and how unatural it is for her to care abt stuff#so she sees yuri as a far better person than she is because she still manages to care and be passionate abt things#she deeply admires and loves yuri and feels like she doesnt deserve yuri's affection#maxy is also the only person that I say yuri genuinely cares abt on a personal level#most of the time even ppl yuri rly likes arent safe from her morbid curiosity but she genuinely cares abt maxy's wellbeing#now juliet is generally a lot less extreme than yuri but shes still not great#juliet and her bestie loki both are genuinely very invested in the cause and goals of lob corp which is the first red flag#but juliet is the more noteworthy of the two actions wise because she actually interacts with fellow employees#she was among the first employees here and while she comes off as friendly and nice she takes her job incredibly seriously and doesn't fuck#around when it comes to productivity levels#she generally respects malkuth a lot more than any of the other robots and actively dislikes most of the others#most newbies tend to like her because of her being one of the few higher ranking employees thats friendly and welcoming but most that make#it longer term tend to realize quick that she doesn't care abt any of them#but whats often worse than her not caring abt you is her seeing potential in you#if she sees potential in someone she will make it very clear and do everything in her power to help them realize that potential#one of my other higher ranking guys mason very much hates juliet because of that exact situation#mason rly didnt know what she was getting into when she got hired at lob corp and mostly worked with the much softer abnos for her first#while at the job until she was thrown into the deep end to work on censored#most of the other higher level employees at the time wouldnt be able to make it through a work session with censored but she was#barely. but it was enough that juliet took notice of her and decided that maybe this guy was worth keeping around afterall
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everemore · 2 months
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im physically having to hold guinevere back right now she's so feral around mordred its insane.
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fencecollapsed · 3 months
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genuinely very interesting that so far the Paul and Emma trauma polls seem to be a toss-up between a horrible way to die and a horrible trauma they then had to live with
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aro-ortega · 8 months
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i think it would be funny if in the future daniel + julia try to convince sasja to give polyamory/them as a throuple a shot
#like a reversal of step talking them into a being a triad in retri#been a while since ive played and definitely since ive played a chargeflystep run so. not confident in my memory#i just thknk it would be neat ! funny !#sasja still hates julia but. she knows now. and he knows that she knows. and thats not the reason she didnt save him#he still hates her for that hates her for leaving him. but. he also knows now that hes done much worse so. shrug#and in some runs he does accidentally drug-addledly confess to still being in love w her#and ! hes going to therapy and he does take it serious ! he can be difficult and lash out but. he does listen to what finch has to say#(and is willing to Work on things and like. have therapy Homework post retri)#and he wants. he doesnt want to be this (terror) anymore. he went to far he can see that now daniel made him see that. he wants to be.#something. better ? less murderous. less violent ig. i think he just doesnt want to hurt daniel again but. theres lots that could hurt him#anyway ! all that to also say - daniel is (supposedly) very perceptive and even tho hes not in the room when sasja confesses to julia#i dont think it would be hard for him to figure out that sasja misses julia (he still hangs out with her. even tho hes told her to fuck off#fuck off a thousand times) and ? maybe he would see or feel that theres still something there between them and#and idk. maybe daniel and ortega talk. maybe sasja and his romantic past w julia comes up. maybe ortega is like. it is what it is hes#hes clearly in love with you anyway so... but ? maybe......#idk ! im tired ! forgot where im going w this. idk how they get there but. maybe the float the idea by sasja. see if he would be willing to#to give julia another shot#(this came about bc i was thinking about how its funny that he + milo (+ vanya) are polyamorous but while milo#milo is dating as many people as she can sasja is just dating one person rn. i just think the contrast is funny)#sasja x daniel x julia#sasja jespersen#op#fh#sasja x julia#sasja x daniel
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dutybcrne · 7 months
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Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.
#hc; kaeya#//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this#//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people#//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate#//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure#//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like#//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far#//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too#//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact#//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably#//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward#//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers#//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is#to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows#//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait#//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like#a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him#could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing#//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings#//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to#//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could#//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church#//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There#//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes#//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf#//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha#//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie???#//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what#//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER#//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive
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spamtoon · 5 months
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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yuridovewing · 3 months
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oughhhh the new “the unknown leader” page…. i love you nuance i love you tragedy i love you objectively disgusting and awful people who show rare moments of sensitivity and remorse for their actions only to double down on them because they hate more than they love
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themyscirah · 6 months
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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hecksupremechips · 7 months
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Ashton Frey is literally so autistic though like it’s got me making organized lists here let’s see
He’s carefully mastered the art of observation and reading people cuz he was so bored as a kid being forced to attend large social gatherings and he isolated himself and just studied the way people interacted with each other to figure out why they behaved the way they did. Despite this, he’s still really bad at understanding social cues (he is never able to tell when Rebecca is upset or what could’ve caused it, he can’t word anything properly, he talks in such a logical way that he comes off as uncaring and he doesn’t notice when it upsets people, etc) and generally doesn’t interact with most people
He’s very intelligent but hated school because the system was structured so horribly. He fell asleep in professor Andrew’s class frequently but once the professor found a way to appeal to his interests he became super committed and passionate
He’s horrible, just absolutely horrible with words and communication lol. He fumbles and stutters and says a lot of mean things on accident. He mostly communicates through his actions and it’s why he comes off as cruel and uncaring to those who don’t pick up on it and kind and considerate to those who do pick up on it (my favorite example is the difference between Rebecca and Isabella’s feelings towards him. Rebecca relies on Ashton to tell her how he feels and because he doesn’t communicate very good verbally, she assumes he doesn’t care about her when he in fact cares a great deal. Isabella on the other hand is able to get on his level a bit more, like understanding that even though he teased her about the letter he still took his day off to help her in the way he thought was best and he gave her ice cream and the charm because he cares, and she is able to see just how loving he really is)
Earning his trust isn’t easy but once you get it he WILL cling to you like crazy and shower you with memes and bad puns and do anything to make you happy
He gets a lot of attention for being hot but he’s usually oblivious to it or finds the attention annoying. He also tends to turn people off with his personality
He fixates so hard on what’s important to him that it’s detrimental to his physical and mental health and he shuts out everything else to pursue his interests
He categorizes his life into boxes and HATES when things slip out of their needed space. He finds himself lying a lot to the people important to him because he’s so desperate to keep them away from the other parts of his life. He is easily transformed by the people in his line of work and finds himself becoming like them. Also he’s kinda gullible in his job and doesn’t realize he’s been manipulated by his boss since day one cuz teehee cops are fucking assholes and he has a naive sense of justice and easily believes everything his boss tells him and it makes him the perfect pawn for some abuse (seriously i hate chief lee so fucking much god I hate him Ashton baby I’m sorry but you’re being manipulated and your boss is a monster and you need to get a better career dude)
He’s very insecure and scared of rejection and beats himself up for minor flaws. He also has trouble understanding his feelings and expressing them he tries to logic his way out of feeling and only cries when he’s hit absolute rock bottom and is like. Told that he needs to cry because he’s clearly not holding up well and only then is he able to
He’s got a damn good memory and remembers every obscure thing about his friends
He’s very attached to objects and gives them names (Shirley and Ophelia my beloved)
#the letter#the letter visual novel#ashton frey#i also got similar shit for marianne shes sooooo autistic coded its unreal#but yeah i just love the way this manifests in all the relationships like i said here the contrast between rebecca and isabella#it really shows the compatibility of the characters like i mean they all struggle with communicating a bit#but with ashton and rebecca they got the classic problem of rebecca getting upset because she thinks ashton doesnt care#because he expresses his feelings through his actions but never says the right words shes looking for#so then she gets mad when he doesnt notice shes upset with him because she never tells him whats wrong#and he can be kinda oblivious to her being upset and he says things that make it worse#its just a fucking mess they are not on the same level at all they fight constantly and with rebecca in particular shes just never satisfied#isabella on the other hand she feels frustrated with ashton too because he teases her a lot and she takes it very literally#but theyre able to find a middle ground like ashton takes responsibility and apologizes for the times hes upset her#and Isabella is able to notice how ashton has been showing his feelings through his actions like she realizes he spent his day off trying to#help her and he took her to the ice cream place cuz he noticed it and thought of her and he paid for her despite being a scrooge#and he gave her the charm even though he doesnt believe in curses because he knows she does and shed maybe feel protected with it#and its really cute cuz once she realizes this you can just see the exact moment she Gets It BAD for him#they are so fucking aaaaaaaa so good for each other i love them they are everything
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me livestreaming the ohio senate in the minutes leading up to a vote that will determine whether or not gender affirming care is outright banned for minors: this is the bad place
"It also prevents doctors from prescribing hormones, puberty blockers or gender reassignment surgery before patients turn 18" per the Cincinnati Enquirer.
#j.2023.all#ohio#us politics#wow cool another new flavor of hopelessness amidst the enshittification of everything!!!!!! we love to see it!!!!!!!!#'parental rights' except if your kid is trans then no rights for you.#i kind of want to do the usual tumblr thing of imagining creative violence to let off steam but it does nothing i think. like it doesnt eve#do anything for me in these circumstances i just feel that dread of#we're in that part of the horror movie where we're watching people get picked off one by one#i have no weapons to speak of. cool#im watching this woman's face twist with emotion as she talks about trans suicide rates and i think she knows what i know#which is that she may make a valiant effort but it will mean nothing#and tomorrow the sun will rise and the legislation will have passed and the world will be a worse rates#and in ohio that suicide rate will tick up#and#idk theres nothing else to say really is there#this winter of 2023 has been really a uh. a time of political participation for me which is not unique#but what sets it apart is that each time i engage#the feeling of uselessness increases#the more i do things to try to help the more i sense that in fact it will all come to nothing and that the loss has already been secured#maybe really all i can do is either end of the spectrum. either get in there with the protesters or double the soup kitchen efforts.#because this democracy shit is severely not working#on the things which we need the most#the most basic. the most basic shit#sure yeah we kept abortion and all the clinics werent forced to close#but quite frankly what good does that do a trans kid who isnt pregnant#no im serious idk how much more of this i can handle#biden got some green funding through the inflation reduction act oh cool but literally what good does that do to the kids getting pummelled#from every side with starvation infection trauma and actual bombs. nothing. they don't care about that at all#and i dont know...if i can pretend to myself that i should care about that at all#im watching this guy read out the senators last names now
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