#ough my brain sucks

[wiltingdecay]

i fear that i have become boring

[rileys-battlecats]

i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

[yokowan]

i keep coming back to aphex twin because absolutely no other artist has the courage to make music that sucks that fucking bad

[kakyogay]

Man it'd be a shame if the scenarios I've made in my head would need so much more context to even share blips of because I've thought so much but shared so very little hmmmm

[soldier--poet--queen]

what came first, the body dysphoria flare up or the internet deciding now was a fantastsic time to show me transmasc content

[dandyshucks]

praying that this one artist i watch livestream doesn't ever look at my chat history bc i feel like I look really weird through it 😭 I have immense anxiety among other issues so I'll usually only manage to work up the nerve to send One (1) random msg in chat at some point during a stream and then immediately feel like I have done smth terribly wrong (even if I am just agreeing with everyone else in chat ???) and not be able to send anything else the entire rest of the stream

so my message history would just be like... one completely random comment per stream and nothing else and I feel like that probably looks really really strange fjfkdl

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ok crying made me so so so very tired actually i think its time for bed

[todayisafridaynight]

the worst part in being able to write sentences is that nothings stopping me from writing fics yk

[a-passing-storm]

I don't think I've ever been the Long Period of Radio Silence type of depressed person, but now that my obligations are voluntary and ungraded, I am! It sucks!

[thewirewitch]

Me, desperate for a good-quality flip phone: May-or-may not have asked a company that makes phones a question related to possibly making more flip phones for my continent.

[blu-s0da]

ok anyway did i ever mention that i love j_peg

[qualityrain]

had the sudden realisation that legatos “i wanted to know him” @ knives is actually just a church thing. like. my church says that. @ jesus. like. he really loves knives in a religious way my fucking god! no kidding! like FOR REAL

[carrotpiss]

.

[transbunnyboi]

I'M BACK FROM MY DATE. My brain is so fuzzy and I'm soooo dizzy and I'm overwhelmingly horny right now ough my god!!! My face and body is so warm, I feel like I was drugged oh god. Okay so I'm still fucking reeling. This man. Jesus Christ.

So he shows up and we go to some restaurant (It's a local one) and we have food and we talk and !! he doesn't like drinking (neither do I, for some reason I'm scared of it?? But not weed? My brain is silly), and also he's vegan. SO we eat and then we talked FOR HOURS and he's so interesting and nice and he's a really good listener and oughhhh god !!!! Oh my god and his teeth are so pretty and that sounds so weird but like they're not perfectly straight and they're so cute and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! So he takes me driving and just being in the car with him with his scent and his voice and his laugh and the slight fear of the fact that it's late at night and we're just driving around and he starts flirting with me and??? Also telling me like. Urban legends of the area and slowly creeping me out and I, not a normal person, started getting like. Absurdly turned on and shifting around in my seat and crossing and uncrossing my legs and we're on a dark desolate road and I wanted him to pull over and fuck me in the back and eventually we got back to my apartment complex and we parked in the dark area and he started talking and I asked if he'd 'kiss me goodnight' and he smiled and reached over and kissed me and I couldn't stop kissing him back.

He tastes sooooo so good just oh god, and we started making out in his car and my boycunt started aching soooooooo soo bad that it made my fucking legs shake and I want him so bad and my brain stopped working and I started begging him and I honestly don't even remember what I was asking for but I swear to god, my tdick started throbbing soo so bad and my cunt was dripping down my thighs and then he started unbuckling his belt and I literally started whining (I'm actually rlly embarrassed lmao) and I ended up sucking his cock and oh my god. I don't know what happened but I think my brain fucking re-wired. His cock tasted so fucking good and I'm soo dizzy from it. I can't even describe it but it slightly tasted like dirt and it slightly burned my tongue?? not burned but like???? I can't describe it and he kept leaking pre into my mouth and he was holding my hair back and guiding me and petting my hair with his other hand and ohhh god he was so vocal and he kept praising me and saying I was a good boy and I was so fucking horny that I was actually tearing up and I ended up stroking him until he came on my tongue dfhjgfdsfghjsdgf

He fixed himself up and took me to my apartment and my legs were so wobbly and I wanted him to fuck me so so so bad and he ended up kissing me again and again and when I asked for him to spend the night he said no, and kinda let out the softest little laugh (I was dripping down my leg) and said "You're greedy, huh?" and went "Not on the first date." I started trying to get him inside anyway because I was literally trembling and dizzy and I needed him so so bad and he kissed me AGAIN and smiled and said no and leaned in (I started shaking and panting, I was literally losing my mind) and he fuCKING GOES "and don't touch yourself tonight. If you do that, I mean."

He said he'd take me out tomorrow night because we're both off work and my boycunt is aching so bad and I'm so overwhelmingly horny and I can't stop whining and I'm laying on my bed with my ass up and I need to have fucking ANYTHING and I'm so so fucking horny and I cAN'T. I WANT TO DIE.

[fatguarddog]

trans girlfriend who listens to your fantasies about being kidnapped and having all your responsibilities taken away so you can spend all your time playing with yourself and getting fatter and fatter. on your first anniversary she tells you she has a surprise for you.

she shows you a locking collar, a spool of thick chain, and an attachment point she drilled in above your bed while you were getting her overnight bag from the car. tonight, it’s her house and you’re her dog. she orders you to strip, and when you’re naked you go to your knees to accept the collar. the click of the lock does something to your brain. that’s the moment when you stop seeing your girlfriend and start seeing your owner. she attaches the chain to your collar with a threaded link and to the ceiling with another. she shows you around your house - her house - your house, your house because it’s her house and you’re her dog, while she explains the rules. you eat from your bowl. you eat whatever treats she gives you. you lick things clean. you lick her pussy and her ass and suck her strap. does her good boy understand? you whine and nose at her hand. good boy. good dog.

she guides you into the kitchen. it’s time for the dog’s breakfast. your bowl comes down from the counter. you used to use that bowl for popcorn, but now it’s full of fried chicken and chunks of biscuit drizzled with gravy. you eat fast and eager, halfway through before you realize you’re thirsty. there’s a water dish, but the water tastes funny, sweet and off. you drink deeply. you can hear your owner touching herself behind you, but you just keep eating until your bowl is clean. you flop over with your belly full and she rubs it, tells you what a good boy you are eating up your food, thumps your belly and calls you a good dog, good dog, good dog. the day gets a bit blurry after that as things stop having words for them and you stop caring. your owner gives you food and makes you feel good and you don’t have to think about anything.

the next morning you wake up relaxed and cottonmouthy, still chained. you tell your girlfriend that was awesome, you loved it, best anniversary gift ever, also you’re thirsty as fuck now and can you have the key to your collar? your owner holds out a glass for you to drink from and says no.

Ok this one I read the day it was sent and have been a bit crazy about it since (sorry for the delay answering though)

The lil chill I got reading that last bit the first time though? OUGH! Mark me down as scared and horny for sure Guess I have no choice but to give in a become a fattened, drugged up dog 🥴 Seems like a simple, blissful life being such a good boy for my owner

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU