#out here at midnight pouring my heart out about them again are we

[yangfleurs]

midnight mistakes. (part 2)

pt. 1

you knocked on the door in front of you, shivering and soaked to the bone from the pouring rain outside. there was no answer, and you weren't surprised considering it was already past midnight at this point. you knocked again, louder this time, hoping someone would get up to check. you waited patiently, staying in view of the peephole of the door to make sure they could see you. the door locks began to jingle suddenly, making you jump slightly.

"y/n? why are you here? I thought chan went home to you?" hyunjin asked as he opened the door, putting down the bat in his hand, "the other aren't home so I---oh my god, you must be freezing!" he gasped suddenly, ushering you into the dorm. he rushed you into chan's room and let you borrow some of the things chan left in his closet. you changed quickly into a hoodie and shorts, before coming out and meeting hyunjin in the living room.

after tossing your wet clothes in the dryer and bringing you a hot tea, hyunjin finally came to sit down next to you on the sofa.

"okay, now tell me why you're at the dorms without your boyfriend at 1 am?" he quirked an eyebrow at you.

"he kicked me out." you mumbled, sipping your tea and sinking in to the couch to sulk.

"what? are we talking about the same chan?" he looked at you, confused at your words.

"you know how he's been working on some tracks for the last few weeks?" hyunjin nodded, "well, he left them open and accidentally deleted them while borrowing his laptop, so he kicked me out." your eyes began to water again, making you sniffle.

hyunjin scoffed, "that is no excuse to kick someone out! especially so late at night, what was he thinking?" he sighed, rubbing your back comfortingly.

"and..." your voice wavered, "I told him that if he was really kicking me out, I-I couldn't guarantee I would come back." you wiped your face---once again wet, but this time, with tears.

"and that asshole didn't follow you out? I can't believe him. do you want me to talk to him?" he asked, hugging you as you wept.

"no no, it's okay. I-I just felt so stupid and belittled, hyune. I didn't even grab anything and ran straight out. you were the first person I thought to go to." you sniffled.

"I'm glad you came here, y/n, you know you're always welcome. you poor thing," he frowned, " why don't you go and try to get some rest now? you've had a long day." he suggested, leading you gently to chan's room to sleep.

"thank you, hyune, really." you two hugged before parting ways.

you settled down in the comfort of chan's dorm bed. as soon as your head hit the pillow, it engulfed you in the strong scent of his shampoo. you breathed in the familiar scent and sighed. you normally had a difficult time falling asleep, but not tonight. you were desperate to escape your heartbreak, and after an endless number of tears had soaked into the pillow underneath you, you had succumbed to sleep.

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chan knew he should've followed you out of the apartment. he knew he shouldn't have let his anger and frustration get the best of him, especially because there was no way he could get any real work done when all he could think about was where you could've possibly gone so late at night in a city where you barely knew anyone except for him. his heart ached at how callous he was towards you, but his stubbornness kept him glued in front of his desk.

chan had been trying to get some work done for the past hour, hoping he could finesse some of the half-finished versions of his tracks he had managed to salvage into something decent before the deadline, but they were still way too short and lacking any real depth. he groaned in frustration, leaning back against his chair and letting his headphones slide down his head. he sighed, swallowing some of his pride, and grabbed his phone. he would just call you and make sure you were someplace safe, that's all.

but when chan heard the familiar sound of your ringtone coming from the living room, his heart sank right through him and his resolve flew right out of the window. the panic set in quickly, making him rush to his feet and slowly walk into the living room, as if walking slowly would make the reality become any less real. there, on the counter next to the front door, sat your phone, keys, and wallet. chan felt like the breath had been knocked out of him, his chest tightening to the point where it was hard for him to breath. he took a few deep breaths, trying to gain back his rationale, before running through the list of people you could've gone to.

lee know, felix, seungmin, and jeongin were definitely already asleep by the time you had headed out, and he knew you weren't the type to bother an entire dorm of sleeping people. changbin and jisung were spending the night in the studio, so it couldn't be them. that left only hyunjin. chan dialed his phone number and held his breath as it rang and rang, eventually going to voicemail. he called back multiple times, the panic making him frantic and irrational once again. after about the twelfth call, hyunjin finally picked up.

"what?" hyunjin asked shortly, making sure the irritation in his voice was clear.

"hyunjin, is y/n at the dorms by any chance?" he asked, trying to steady his shaking voice.

"shouldn't you know where your girlfriend is, hyung?" he spat.

"listen, I really fucked up, okay? I need to know if she's there and safe. so please answer me, hyunjin, I am begging you---is she there?" he asked once again, his anxiety increasing as he anticipated hyunjin's answer.

there was a brief pause on the line, hyunjin's hesitation making chan's stomach turn. hyunjin sighed heavily.

"she's fine. sleeping, finally. the only reason I'm still up is because all I could hear for the past hour is the poor thing's sniffling and crying."

"can I talk to her? she left her phone at home and I--" he gulped, holding his own tears, of both heartache and relief, back so he could keep talking steadily, "I just need to hear that she's really there and okay."

"I'll ask, but if she says no, I'm not going to push. " hyunjin said curtly.

chan heard some rustling over the phone, followed by a knock and hyunjin asking if you'd like to talk to chan. his chest tightened as he heard the faintest tone of your voice. hyunjin cleared his throat before talking to chan again.

"she's not budging. but..." he paused, "I definitely won't be sleeping any time soon. "

"I'm on my way. thank you so much, hyunjin." chan said quickly, stirring to his feet and making a beeline for the front door.

"I'm still angry at you, though. if y/n wants you gone, you have to leave. no buts, got it?"

chan agreed before hanging up and opening the door out of the apartment complex. he looked around and noticed the wet ground. it hadn't rained earlier when he came home. the guilt he felt only worsened at the thought of you running in the cold rain without so much as a jacket to protect you. he was going to have to do a lot more than simply apologize---he had to make it up to you.

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you stirred awake at the sound of the door slowly creaking open. you sat up and looked over with squinted eyes.

"hyune?" you croaked horribly, the crying you had done becoming obvious.

"y/n." the voice, his voice, breathed out. he cautiously walked towards you.

"w-what? why are you here?" you yelled, panicking at chan's sudden presence. you shot up in the bed and pulled the duvet flush against your chest.

"I came to apologize." he said nervously, sitting at the edge of his bed and looking over at you.

"I don't want to hear it. get out." you spat angrily.

"you have every right to be angry at me. but could you just hear me out? please, baby? I promise I'll leave right after if that's what you really want, y/n." he pleaded, trying desperately to meet your eyes.

you looked to the side, refusing to look at him. you took a deep breath to control your emotions before answering him. "go on."

"okay," he took a deep breath, "y/n, I am so incredibly sorry. I completely overreacted and put my work before you like a selfish idiot. I shouldn't have gotten so angry over a mistake, and I blew the situation way out of proportion," he held his head low, fidgeting with his hands before looking up at your waiting eyes, "and I could spend the rest of my life apologizing, and I know that that still wouldn't be enough. but truly, y/n, I really am sorry." he gulped, looking up at the ceiling to stop himself from crying in front of you.

"no," you looked at him, angry tears welling in your eyes, "no, you don't get to swoop in and apologize as if this was any other stupid fight we've had!" the hurt in your voice was palpable and so raw.

chan felt truly helpless. not only was the guilt of letting you leave eating away at him, but now he had to face the fact that all of the pain and heartache you were going through was entirely his fault. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby, I am so so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." his voice cracked. there was no use in trying to hold back his emotions now as his tears ran freely down his cheeks.

"chan, you don't get it," you paused to wipe your face, "I know your work is important. I get it, I do. but you didn't just kick me out. you didn't just let me leave. when you chose not to follow me out, you chose to fucking break up with me instead," you cried out, your throat raw, "you abandoned me." you whimpered, feeling completely broken.

"no---no, y/n, that's not---" chan struggled to find the right words to say to you, finally realizing the full gravity of the situation.

you abruptly crawled out of bed and stood there, looking away from chan. "you made your choice. now go." you whispered.

but as you tried walking towards the door, he grabbed your wrist firmly. he stood up with you, grabbing the other wrist and holding you in front of him. you felt his intense gaze above you, and you didn't dare to look up. you knew that as soon as you saw chan's flushed, heartbroken face, your resolve would completely disintegrate. you couldn't find it in you to move out of his grip either, though, too exhausted to keep fighting. his hands slowly slid from your wrists down to your hands. he gently caressed them with his thumbs before cautiously placing his hands around your waist. you felt him slowly slide down to the ground and onto his knees, his arms following him down to your legs.

"I figured I'd be able to see your face better from down here," he looked up at you, chuckling a little as he sniffled. his light demeanor changed quickly, though, as he became overcome with emotion once again, "I know I sound like a broken record but, fuck, I--" he blinked away fresh tears, "I can't apologize enough. I am so sorry, baby. not following after you was the worst mistake of my life. in my frustration, I didn't even realize I let the only thing worth caring about in my life walk out of it. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I'm going to be selfish and ask for it, anyway. because I can't lose you. I love you way too much to let that happen. you know that, right? please, baby, tell me you know that?" he pleaded with you.

you finally sunk down to chan's level and sat in front of him, finally giving in, "of course I know that, chan," you sighed, "I love you, too." you said quietly.

"w-where do we go from here?" he asked you nervously, "I'll do whatever you want, my love."

"I don't want to break up."

"I don't want that, either." he breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I want this, all of this, to be over so badly. but if you ever, and I mean ever, do anything like that again, we will break up for good. I am so serious, chan, I will not forgive you a second time." you said solemnly.

"I wouldn't dream of it, my love," he smiled at you fondly, "am I forgiven then?" he asked you slyly.

"I guess so." you replied coyly.

"come here," he pulled you into his lap. you leaned against his chest, feeling much lighter after making up with chan. he pushed the hair away from your face.

"you know I am actually sorry about fucking up your tracks. I won't touch your laptop again, I promise." you mumbled.

"it's all in the past, baby, really. I'll figure it out," he hummed, "and besides, you're not even going to want to borrow my laptop soon."

you looked at him curiously, quirking an eyebrow at his strange remark.

"I got you a new laptop!" he beamed, "it won't be here until the end of the week, but I figured it was about time you threw that piece of junk you call a laptop away." he chuckled.

"oh my god! you didn't have to do that chan," you smiled at him with surprise, "thank you." you mumbled sweetly.

"it's the least I could do," he kissed the top of your head before picking you up abruptly, "now come on, we have some lost time to make up for." he peppered kisses across your face, making you giggle.

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(a little bonus!)

the next morning, you and chan were awoken by loud chatter and laughter outside of the room. you both trudged out of bed one after another and made yourselves look decent before joining the others in the dining room.

you felt someone glaring at the two of you from one side of the room. "next time you guys decide to fight, do it at your own place. seriously, who yells that loud at 3 in the morning?" hyunjin groaned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and yawning dramatically. chan apologized with a light laugh, ruffling hyunjin's hair as he put his head down against the dining table. you both sat down with him around the table together.

"oh, you guys are awake?" jisung asked, drying his head with a towel as he stepped out of the bathroom and joined all of you at the table, "we heard what happened last night. hyung, you know should've called us---" as if on cue, changbin came out of his room and stormed into the dining room.

"yah!" he yelled, "what the hell were you thinking not calling us after you lost our tracks?" changbin yelled.

please, changbin, I just spent the entire night regretting and begging for forgiveness, please leave me alone." chan whined.

changbin ignored him completely and turned to you, "y/n, guess what? the idiot you call your boyfriend didn't bother to call the people he literally produces every track with when he lost all of his work. you know, if he did actually think to call me or jisung, he would've known," he turned towards chan this time, "that he sent us those tracks to review and save on our laptops and he fought with you over absolutely nothing." he huffed.

your head whipped over to look at your boyfriend whose face was lit up with realization as he remembered doing everything changbin was saying.

"I suggest you take the intruder bat we keep under the couch and beat his ass." jisung mumbled next to you through a mouthful of food.

"jisung!" chan scolded.

"or I'll do it. it's for a good cause." he shrugged, "your call, y/n."

"thanks ji, but I'm good," you smiled, "if he's gonna get his ass kicked, it should be me doing it. sleep with one eye open, christopher." you glared at him.

"not the government name." hyunjin gasped.

"I'm sorry again?" chan said meekly, scratching the back of his neck. you smacked his arms a couple times, making him fake whine and eventually chuckle. he smothered you in an inescapable hug, holding you closely and kissing the top of your head.

"gag."

"shut up or you're next jisung."

[dulceackles]

Ambivalent Part one - The town

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, sex, violence, enemies to lovers, alcohol, all that. Mention of dead body, a little bit of horror. English is not my first language, so sorry for typos. Also, it is a Y/N, but I've created a background story and a fictional place around it for creative and storytelling reasons. Will not be describing exterior characteristics, tho!

Summary: Dean used to be really important to Y/N but ever since he suddenly left her without telling her why, she's been avoiding even mentioning him. Now, after years, he's back in town, but not because of her. There's a case. The only things she's certain is that she doesn't like him being back.

Word count: 1k

The town of Dimdale was exactly what it sounded like; small, rather boring, and they saved electricity by switching streets lights off by midnight. Not too fancy, huh? Still, it was Y/N's hometown and even tho she sometimes had dreamed of leaving, she'd never actually wanted to pack her bags.

Oily mugs the coffee house, don't ask about the name, was the town's tourist attraction if so you could say. It had been in business since the 60s, owned by the same family, and served the world's best blueberry pie. Y/N had been working there 6 years now and, you guessed it, she loved the simple job she had.

"One black coffee, please, darling!" An old man with a gray beard ordered over the counter.

"Sure, coming up. It'd be 2.50 dollars, thank you," Y/N smiled. She was just pouring the coffee when she heard the bell on the front door ring, notifying her that a new customer had entered the café. She lifted her eyes from the coffee mug to greet the new customers, but her smile dropped the second her eyes locked with a familiar pair of green ones.

How dare he even walk in here? She thought. Dean Winchester, an asshole, liar, toxic jackass, a traitor even. To be honest, she hated him with all her heart and with all the rage she had left in her, but she didn't want to talk about it, or him, or think about it or anything... And behind him in walked Sam. About him Y/N had no ill thoughts about, but she still hated him too simply because he was related to the smallest man who ever lived, Dean. Someone could have described her as unfair, she just called herself a simple girl.

"Hey y...." Sam tried to greet her behind the counter but was quickly cut off by her.

"What would you like?" She gave them her best fake smile that also very clearly said fuck you to both of them. She handed the earlier customer his coffee, accidentally spilling some of the hot liquid into her hand. That made her hiss out of annoyance. That and the two men sitting in bar stools to be exact.

"I… Umm, I’ll take a sandwich, and he'll..." Sam stuttered, clearly taken back by her passive-aggressive character. He knew things between her and Dean had not ended well, but he hadn't thought they had ended so bad it was enough to make a grown woman act like a high school bully behind the counter.

"I'll take the sandwich too." Dean said, saving his brother from the trouble. "Soo... you still work here."

"Clearly." Y/N spat while solving the sandwiches into a paper bag. She had made the decision for them that they'd be eating on the go.

"Oh, actually, we're eating..." Sam tried to put in again, but again, he was interrupted.

"On the go. I'm sure y'all busy, I know he was last time." She gave them the same fake smile she had mastered and reached out to give them the paper bag. Dean grasped it in her hands and got up from his seat.

"It's okay, we are busy actually," He said and tapped Sam's shoulder. "Let's go."

Y/N watched as Sam got up and looked almost upset. For a second, Y/N nearly felt bad, like he had ever been nothing but sweet to her. But then she remembered that he was his brother, and that was enough reasons to hate him.

"And by the way, if you spat on it, just know I won't mind, darling." Dean smirked and then winked at her. Before turning his back, he watched, just a second, how her face turned red. He knew it wasn't a blush but a rage, and he thought a couple other customers might have clocked it too. He walked towards the door with his brother.

"Well, I'm surprised a kitchen knife hasn't flown into your back yet," Sam whispered and Dean laughed and shook his head as they get in the impala. Dean knew Y/N, and he knew that the only bullet she shoots were the bullets coming from her mouth. Well, to be fair, sometimes he had wished she would have just rather picked up a machine gun or something. Still, he thought she was adorable, even if angry. But Dean had promised himself before even stepping his foot over the boarder of this god forgotten town that he'd never drag her into his life again. Even tho they had quite a history, Dean had never told her about his real job because he didn't want to see him and real world ruin her too. No matter how cute, sweet, absolutely choleric, tempting, beautiful or enraged she was, he'd leave her be. 

She deserves better than to be dragged into this life, Dean thought. Besides, there was a case for them to battle.

"Soo.. 25-year-old woman, Sandra Rittenwell, last seen walking home from a night shift at a bar. Couple days later a body is found and well… See for yourself." Sam stretched out to show Dean the crime scene pictures he'd stolen.

"Well, that's a sight." Dean scrunched his nose in disgust. The pictures were cruel to say at least.

"Tell me about it. Surprisingly there were witnesses tho." Sam blurred out, "Victor Hills, called the police at 4am and claimed he saw a "faceless monster" take Sandra. Apparently he had been walking behind her. The police didn't take his claims seriously at first, but after the discovery of the body, they checked the nearby surveillance cameras and no "monster" had been caught in any of them. Police has no suspects as we speak, but they have had a sketch artist draw a portrait of the thing Victor saw."

"Hmm, interesting. Never seen this before;" Dean thought.

"Yup. Did some research and similar incident has happened before. In 1947 a woman disappeared, the body was never found, but locals said few had seen a similar creature in a couple of previous days, leading to the disappearance. One thing is sure, the monster has a type," Sam Said.

"Yeah, and what's that?" Dean knitted his eyebrows together.

"Women, walking home at night." Sam sigh.

"Of course," Dean shook his head for the second time that day.

// Hope you liked it, I love a feedback and hopefully I wasn't rusty. I haven't written other than school stuff in a long time. xx

Next part (x)

[shaybreezy-17]

Zoro and the Aphrodisiac (Zoro x Fem!Reader)

smutty, silly lil one shot ;p

*TW: Explicit/sexual content*

Fanart credits to: @rrrotten!

This image makes me feel things every time I look at it 🙈…

-

It was a dark and stormy night on the Thousand Sunny, but that didn’t stop you from heading into the kitchen for a midnight snack…

-

“What are you doing with that?!” You whispered, slapping Nami’s hand away from the booze barrel she was pouring something into.

“Relax! It’s just a little calming sedative for the boys to chill out tomorrow morning so I can rummage through their clothes and sell some of the ugly ones for a couple extra berries.” She had her tongue out in focus, pouring a clear substance into the barrel. “Something caught my eye in one of the boutiques in town…”

She placed the bottle down to mix what was inside the barrel, so you picked it up to inspect it, making a mental note to bother her about what she wanted later.

The label had a bunch of hearts and upon reading it a bit further, “MAXIMUM STRENGTH AROUSAL SEDATIVE?” You gasped. “Nami, this might put them to sleep but we’re gonna have to spend a couple hours running away from them first… it’s like an aphrodisiac or worse! Practically liquid viagra…”

Snatching the bottle out of your hands, she read the label carefully, scrunching her eyebrows. “Well, fuck.” She chuckled nervously, “At least they’ll knock out eventually…”

“We have to do something about this before breakfast in the morning.” You sighed, placing the lid back on the barrel. “Should we just toss it out now that everyone’s asleep?”

Nami opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a larger presence behind her.

“Throw what away? Better not be talkin’ about my sake.” It was Zoro. He walked past Nami, approaching the barrel.

“Hands off, now.” He lowered his voice, eyes on your hand over the barrel. “Why are you meddling with my stuff?”

You looked over at Nami, silently begging for help.

“It’s pretty late, huh? I’m just gonna leave you two…” Nami began to back out of the kitchen, mouthing an “I’m sorry” before closing the door behind her.

She’s so dead tomorrow, you thought.

Looking back over at Zoro, “You can’t drink this, bud.” You retorted, placing your other hand on it.

He looked visibly more annoyed. “This isn’t a barrel for everyone to drink out of, it has my sake in it so who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” He began to walk toward you, forcing you to back up into the kitchen wall. “Y/N, you just pissed me off and it’s late. You should go to bed.”

“But, I-”

“Go. To. Bed.”

You rolled your eyes, wishing he’d stop treating you like a child.

If he wanted a drink so bad, he was about to find out why he should’ve stayed outta that damn barrel the hard way.

You opted for sleeping at the Sick Bay for the night as you were sure if you saw Nami right now in the Girls’ bedroom area, you’d probably lash out on her over Zoro annoying you.

-

As you drifted in and out of consciousness, you felt your body being shaken by something. You opened your eyes, blinking a couple times to adjust them but all you could see was a blurry silhouette hovering over you in the dimly lit room.

“About fucking time you get up!” Zoro whispered. “I was looking all over for you.”

You sat up in confusion, rubbing your eyes. “You here to pick a fight over your stupid booze again?”

“No, idiot.” Zoro spat, “You put something in my sake! It’s making me feel… weird.”

“It wasn’t me and you’re the idiot for drinking from the barrel when I told you not to!” You slapped his shoulder.

“I don’t take orders from you last time I checked.” He scoffed.

“Yeah? Look where that got you now.” You retorted. “Get out if you don’t need anything else from me.”

He licked his lips, “You always been this feisty or am I just noticing?”

The sudden change in his behavior threw you off guard, but you knew the affect must have been kicking in worse by now.

“Oh, shut up.” You lightly shoved his chest, “That drink is messing you up, making you feel things you shouldn’t…”

He sat on the bed, leaning towards you. “The drink that you’re responsible for spiking?”

“I-I didn’t-”

He began to caress one side of your face, giving you the most intense eye contact he’s ever had, “I think it’s only fair that you’re responsible for relieving me of what I’m feeling right now…”

You were speechless. It was like Zoro left and let Sanji posses his sexy body. This was so unlike him.

You tried to dismiss the fact that the closer he got to you, the more you realized just how damn good looking he was.

“I need you, Y/N.” He whispered, thumb rubbing the corner of your mouth. His eyes followed, looking down at your lips. He licked his own intently. “Make me feel good.”

His voice made you weak in the knees. You closed your eyes in defeat, letting him finally kiss you.

You were torn between wanting him to make you his or still hating him for never taking you seriously and it caused a fire within you. You kissed him back, angry with passion.

You shoved him, making him lay down at the edge of the bed. Crawling on top of him, you kissed him again. You wanted control of him and this situation so badly… you wanted him to take you serious.

Zoro couldn’t handle his excitement as you felt him struggling to take off his pants until you felt something long and hard spring out and slap against your ass. Breaking the kiss, you positioned yourself over his pre-cum soaked penis.

“Slow and steady,” He placed a hand on your hip to support you, “I don’t wanna tear you up just yet…”

His words made your pussy throb. Looking down at his penis, you lowered yourself down, pushing him further and further inside… 

Once he was fully inside, you clenched your stomach, letting out a tiny grunt. He let out a smirk knowing he would be a lot for you to handle.

Rolling your eyes, you balanced yourself upright before you started working upwards and downwards on his cock. Zoro’s eyes closed shut and he let out a moan before stifling it by biting his hand.

This gave you a nudge of confidence as you began to quicken up your pace. Following your lead, he placed his hands on your waist, lifting you up as he began to thrust up inside you.

He threw his head back and you heard a stringy mess of the word “FuUuUcK!”

Before you knew it, he flipped you over so you were below him. “Sorry, Y/N, but I’m about to destroy you. I won’t hold back anymore.”

Without giving you a moment to even register what he had just said, he shoved himself back inside you causing you to tremble at the feeling of him completely spreading you apart, hitting all the right places.

He fucked you so hard, letting all of his past frustrations and desires toward you roll out with every thrust he made.

“Fuck! I hate you and how good you make me feel.” He growled, not letting up anytime soon.

Without even thinking, you reached up and slapped him across the face. His expression flashed with anger but quickly turned into something darker and more lustful…

“Not rough enough for ya?” He grinned, repositioning your legs over his shoulders to dig even deeper inside you, wrapping one of his hands around your throat as he spit into your mouth. “You’re taking me so fucking well, Y/N, I’m a little surprised.”

Little did he know, you began to feel an orgasm coming on. The way he was so rough with you yet made you feel so good had the knot in your stomach forming, tighter than ever, as your body begged you to let yourself cum.

Zoro hovered over you completely now, digging his face in your neck, leaving bites and kisses all over you. He pulled down your dress at the neckline, letting your breasts come out. As he sucked on your left nipple, he let his hand find your throat again. You couldn’t help but throw your head back at the overwhelming sensations he was giving you, rolling your eyes in pleasure.

“Zoro!” You screamed, “I-I’m gonna-”

Unable to finish your sentence, you felt that knot in your belly pulsating with energy that you were just dying to release. Running your fingers through Zoros hair, you gripped it as you felt yourself coming undone.

You let out a bunch of stringy moans and curse words as you came all over his cock, quivering under him as you attempted to push him out of you, but he held you and your hips down in place and kept ravaging your pussy.

You began to wimper with every additional thrust he gave you after you came. Your pussy was so sensitive now, you felt like you’d cum again any minute now.

Knowing you had no choice but to beg for him for mercy. “P-please, Zoro!” You struggled to find the words as he seemed to have fucked the shit out of the brains you once had, “I-I can’t take it anymore!”

You felt his pace get sloppier by the minute, his breathing heavier than before. You were both covered in each others sweat, but you were too dick-drunk to care or else you woulda dragged the both of you to the showers.

Zoros groans got louder as he fought back his own orgasmic sensation. His throbbing cock made your walls tighten around him even more, causing even more pleasurable agony for him. Eventually, he shoved his cock deeper inside you, making sure not to leave a single inch out. It pulsated and throbbed, followed by Zoro moaning your name loudly in your ear as he released deep inside you.

-

You were both utterly exhausted. Zoro let himself lay on you, no longer supporting up his body weight. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck. You both laid in silence, only the sounds of you both trying to catch your breath could be heard.

“You look a mess.” Zoro smiled, kissing your forehead, moving a strand of hair out of your face. “A very, very sexy mess.”

“I promise you look worse.” You replied, playfully shagging up his hair. “Well, now you do. Look at that mess on your head.”

He gently flipped you back over so you were on top and he was resting on his back. He looked up at you with sleepy eyes, almost in a drunken state. “Whaddya say we both drink out of that barrel tomorrow night?”

“No way!” You slapped him on the shoulder, “You just wanna go for round two tomorrow, you horny fuck.”

His face formed into a grin as he let his hands rub your naked inner thighs as you straddled him, “More like round six, let’s keep this going ‘til sunrise and save sleeping for the morning.”

“How ambitious of you,” You chuckled, remembering he took a sedative that was clearly already kicking in, but still giving in to the urge to challenge him once more before he was out for good, “to think you’d last much longer…”

[aothotties]

Hello! I’m Ari and I’m 1/2 of Aothotties. We’re two black women that like to write about our favorite anime men. This blog is 18+ so that means that if you’re younger than 18 you need to move along please and thank you. Anyways please enjoy the first piece of writing, it’s based off of ‘The Way’ by Kehlani

Warnings: NSFW, Established relationship, Reader is like 24+, a lil bit of overstimulation, Nanami being a bit of a tease.

Word Count: 1K

~~~~~~~~~

You so damn important

Everything you do shows me you know it

To Nanami you’re everything he could ever want and more. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have you in his life.

He loves the cute text messages from you reminding him to drink water, his favorite time of the day is when you call him on your way to work.

“It’s going to be a long shift so I’ll try and call you during my lunch break” you tell your boyfriend, making sure you focus on the road at all times.

“I could always come and have lunch with you in the café.” He offers and your heart melts at the thought.

“I’d take you up on that, but my break isn’t going to be until midnight, and that’s if I’m lucky. The hospital is busy around the holidays” you sigh as you pull into the parking lot and pull into your usual spot.

“That sound means you’re at work doesn’t it? I’ll let you go so you can get yourself together, call me if you need anything. I love you.”

You swear you feel your heart flutter each and every time he says those words.

“I love you too! Oh and I stopped by your house and left you some dinner. I made too much food and I know how you like to skip meals when you get busy. I hope you enjoy it, have a good night!” You end the call and get ready for work.

If you didn’t tell him how much he meant to you, you always made sure you showed it somehow.

He say the king where he come from

Take a young queen just to know one

To Nanami, money was never an issue and he always made sure to let you know that. Anything you wanted was yours, without hesitation. You needed help with student loans? Done. Your car needs gas? Already taken care of by the time you’re on your way home in the morning. He almost tried to buy you a car, but you turned him down.

Nanami would buy you the world if you wanted him too, he’s a hard working man who busted his ass for years to get to where he is today. His journey to becoming the CEO of his company was anything but easy, but it’s truly rewarding if it means he gets to spoil the love of his life.

“Those are nice.” you say to yourself as you scroll on your phone, taking a closer look at the ad that caught your attention.

“And that is?” Your boyfriend asked, handing you the wine glass you asked him to pour you after dinner.

“Oh it’s nothing, just these cute scrubs I saw while scrolling online. They’re the jogger kind and come in different colors.” You showed him a photo of the set and he took the phone from your hand and began to type.

“Baby what are you doing?” you lean over to see what he’s doing on your phone and he gently holds you back with one arm

“Just a second, be patient sweet girl” he says, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other hand typing on your phone quickly.

“Here, all done.” He hands you the phone and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

When you opened your phone up, you were met with a confirmation screen for the scrubs he just bought you.

“They’ll be delivered to your apartment tomorrow afternoon, I got you different colors, since you like to wear solid colors some days and then have those little cartoon characters on them other days.” You watch as he leans against the kitchen counter and you feel like you’re falling in love all over again.

We gon' wake your neighbors

Turn your block club to my fan club

“N-Nanami!” you moan out into the pillow below as he thrust into you from behind.

“Yeah princess? Cat got your tongue?” He grabs your hair in his fist and pulls you up so that your back is flush against his chest

You grip his thigh as he continuously pounds into your cunt like a mad man, his thrust not letting up as he keeps hitting your sweet spot.

“I-I’m so close baby, so f-fucking close.” You whimper loudly, biting your lip at the feeling of him pulling your head back farther onto his shoulder.

He leans his head down and presses his lips against yours, you could tell he was getting close by the way his hips begin to speed up. He wraps one of his large hands around your throat, giving it a light squeeze.

You began bouncing back on his dick quickly to try and reach your climax, Nanami forces your legs open with his free arm and begins rubbing your clit to help you reach your high.

You scream out loud as your cunt tightens around his dick and you reach your climax. You back continues to arch and you whine from the overstimulation of him continuing his thrust.

“N-Nanami s’too much. I-I can’t!” You whine loudly as he continues to bounce you up and down on his dick quickly.

“You can take it princess, go ahead and give me one more. I know you can baby.” He whispers in your ear, he grabs your jaw and turns your face up to look at him while he fucks into you.

You squeeze your eyes shut from the pleasure and he harshly presses his lips against yours giving you a sloppy kiss, he groans and bites your lip as he emptied himself inside of you.

He sighs against your lips before he pulls back and presses his forehead against yours, slowly trying to regain control of his breathing after the activities that just took place.

“Thank you for the scrubs” You say weakly as you begin to fall asleep in his arms, he smiles at how tired you instantly become and plants a kiss to your forehead.

“Anything for you sweet girl.”

[livcarns]

Fall of the House of Usher: Jumpscares

SPOILERS AHEAD! (duh)

i love all things mike flanagan, but i’m a big chicken, so jumpscares really freak me out. so for everyone else out there who is equally as freaked out by them as me, here is a list with timestamps of all of the jumpscares in the show! some timestamps might be a few seconds off, but i did my best. enjoy!

i’ll update as i finish episodes!

Episode 1: A Midnight Dreary

0:29 Creepy, not necessarily too jumpy

0:53 Creepy again, could jumpscare you if your volume is up

17:04 After debating whether to call a doctor, their mother appears behind young Roderick in the lightning flashes

20:18 Not a jumpscare, but so so creepy. After older Roderick tells Dupin that his mother is right behind him, the detective goes on a rant about interrogation techniques. When the camera jumps back to show the room behind him, the mother is standing there, perfectly still. At 20:50, she leaves. 

51:00 Not a jumpscare, but creepy. All of the dead children stand on the balcony where the woman in the mask just was. They’re all visibly bloody and dead. 

51:59 First real jumpscare of the season. A clown in the backseat of the taxi? Scary af

Episode 2: The Masque of the Red Death

4:02 Not a jumpscare, but really creepy. Roderick falters before he can finish his sentence, and then the ghost of Prospero appears behind Dupin. He’s gone a moment later. 

19:43 He’s back. He approaches this time.

20:33 Real jumpscare this time. Thunder crashes and we cut to a closeup of Prospero’s deformed face. Dupin doesn’t even notice anything. 

56:00 Not a jumpscare, just really gross

Episode 3: Murder in the Rue Morgue

2:00 Immediately very nasty. Lots of shots of the dead bodies from the party, all decayed and gross. 

3:16 Minor jumpscare, one of the bodies isn’t quite dead and grabs Pym’s ankle. There’s a music cue with it. Kind of expected to be honest. 

24:33 Roderick freezes. A pair of blackened hands appear on his shoulders, and we cut to a shot that reveals a dead Camille is standing over him.

25:35 Real jumpscare. As Roderick is going on his little rant, he pours himself another drink. When he turns back to Dupin, Camille is in front of him, along with a music cue. He throws his glass. 

36:59 The cat is dead!! Oh no!! Napoleon follows the trail of blood to find Pluto has been stabbed. Fortunately for all animal lovers, it’s a very fake looking cat.

50:47 Jumpscare. A monkey slams against the bars of its cage behind Camille. 

Chimps pretty much are just slamming against the bars repeatedly through this scene. Beware!

Episode 4: The Black Cat

This is a very gory episode! Beware!

24:50 Leo lifts his pillow to reveal a dead rat(?) with a big musical cue

26:30 Big jumpscare! As Roderick is saying “pour your energy into kickbox-“ Leo’s body falls from the ceiling and hits the floor. It’s accompanied by a loud musical cue.

Majority of this episode is just this cat terrorizing Leo, so there’s a lot of small dead animals. Beware!

47:50 Shit gets crazy. Leo hurts the cat after it attacks him, and then the scary lady (Veena) looks super gory. 

53:53 After Roderick unties Juno’s robe, a burnt Perry appears behind her, then leans into Roderick’s face. 

57:23 When Leo breaks down the final section of the wall, the cat and Veena are there, both with an eye hanging out and pretty gross.

Episode 5: The Tell Tale Heart

5:19 The camera pans in front of Roderick to see Perry’s burnt ghost in front of him. A moment later, Roderick looks up into the balcony to see the clown. 

6:40 Roderick turns around to look back at the coffins and sees the ghosts of all three of the “bastards” standing in front of their respective coffins. 

24:12 After Dupin starts bleeding, he looks up at the ceiling, and when he looks back down, he is instead Vic. She starts screaming, but at a crack of thunder, it returns to normal. 

53:30 After this point, it gets pretty gory as we see Ali dying. 

55:09 This part is pretty horrific. Roderick opens the door to reveal Ali’s dead body. The room is covered with blood and we get some close ups of the machine in her heart. It’s very gross. 

57:05 Vic turns the scissors on herself and stabs herself. 

Episode 6: Goldbug

2:04 Not a jumpscare, but we see someone in the doorway in Tamerlane’s hallway. 

4:06 When Tamerlane opens the Goldbug box, it’s filled with maggots(?) and bloody stuff. She jumps away, accompanied by a musical cue. 

7:07 After Roderick says “Don’t all answer at once” the camera cuts to show the four dead children watching him. 

16:04 After Roderick asks “Can you see them too?” Lenore turns around and the four dead kids are behind her. 

25:21 As Roderick says “Isn’t it all just water under the-“ the window behind him is shattered and he flies forward. While laying on the ground, Tammy steps towards him, then stands over him all creepy like. It’s done when Dupin says “Roderick?”

50:53 From this point forward, it gets mildly bloody, with Tammy cutting herself on some glass. 

52:54 After “Before the inevitable” a hand reaches out and grabs Tammy around her ankle. 

Episode 7: The Pit and the Pendulum

18:00 Not a jumpscare or even scary, but the implications of what is about to happen are fucking brutal. My stomach dropped. We don’t watch what happens (thank fuck) but we do see the aftermath, and it is gory. 

23:26 The clock chimes. Scared the poop out of me because it was unexpected. 

25:28 Freddy gets all terrifying? Honestly the only way to explain it. After Annabel talks for a moment, young Freddy’s body splits in half. 

Episode 8: The Raven

2:34 Holy shit jumpscare. It’s the fucking clown again. There’s a metallic clinking sound, and when Roderick turns, the clown jumps out and grabs him. 

10:48 Not a jumpscare, but when Annabel turns and walks away, there’s a bloody hole in the back of her head. 

12:50 Repeat of the clown jumpscare from the first episode. 

51:56 Not a major jumpscare, but a crash of thunder is accompanied by a musical cue that’s a little startling. 

52:36 During a flash of lightning, Lenore’s ghost appears behind Roderick. It continues to move closer as he turns. 

53:05 The raven squawks loudly as it flies by Roderick. 

54:34 After Roderick says “Haven’t we?” there’s a crash of thunder and when he turns around, all of his dead family members are sitting around the conference table. 

1:06:36 After Roderick says “I bet I still could’ve sold it” Madeline bursts out of the basement all bloody and gross.

And that’s it!! Hope this helps!

[wolfavens]

ghost car of barna road

track 3 - liberty belle 1/2

my manager greeted me in irish.

i blinked at the screen in mute panic. i couldn’t remember how to reply. words and languages collided in my brain. it was a car crash, baby, and in the end all that came out of my mouth was a prolonged aaah with no end in sight. a perfect visual representation would be a multilanguage tsunami, pouring out of my ears and pooling around my slippers on the dusty rug of my childhood bedroom.

i used to write those words down into a black notebook, watching you mock me from that dusty rug. you and your smug gaeltacht born grin. who would’ve thought i will forget them all by the time i’m 30.

“how did the move go?”

move. to galway. my hometown. i found my voice again and rushed out: “oh yeah! the move went okay. got here late last night. drive was smooth. not many cars around after midnight.”

“hehe, don’t get used to it. it’s a totally different story after 8am.”

we chatted for a while, arranging to meet in dublin next month when i was all settled in. won’t take long. all i needed was to get a flat, a car - did i need help with the flat? there are probably relocation programmes for employees available. no. i think i got it. did i tho?

we finished the call twenty minutes later. the fact i managed to scrape by enough words to at least tell him goodbye in irish seemed to cheer him up a bit.

i finished up some minor work tasks, sipping at the remainder of my mother’s disgusting herbal tea and took a short break to open the dusty unused storage areas of my childhood bedroom. i needed to clean up the old junk before moving in the new junk. i had to give one thing to my mother; she did an excellent job of preserving this place. if ever i managed to do something worthwhile with my life she could start charging fucking entry for this museum of fiadh kavanagh.

shaking my head i started pulling out old clothes and creating a pile on the floor. if she believed i still fit into these jeans i should be worried about early onset neurodegenerative diseases.

i was done with the columns and moving on to the hangers by the time she stuck her head in and quirked her dark eyebrows at me. “need any help?”

“mom, why the fuck did you keep all this?” i asked, showcasing fist-full of short gothic dresses. “aren’t you worried about clothes moths?”

ignoring my point she sat down on the bed, smiling. “oh, i though you might still like to keep some of it. it’s not like we need extra storage.”

“mom, look at me!” i threw another armful onto the pile, lifting my arms to indicate my age ravaged body. “how could i possibly fit into size four?! some of these are from the children’s section!”

“you look like a string, you could easily fit. it’s the cigarettes. they are not good for ya.”

i rolled my eyes. “i’m not even fucki…”

the feel of a familiar soft fabric beneath my fingertips made me stop midsentence. i pulled it out into the light with shaking fingers, heart racing against my ribcage. it looked huge in my palms. the faded graphics were barely visible in the shadowy light of my room. if you tried hard enough you could just barely make out the name of the band. distantly i heard my mom echo my name but i was stuck in the past, standing in the cold autumn rain by the open driver’s side window of your car.

“ooooh, i remember this one,” my mother said with a nostalgic smile.

i made a small sound at the back of my throat.

“it’s the donovan boy’s, isn’t it? i remember teasing him about it. i told him: young man, this is not a free laundry i run here! you know what he said to me?”

i nodded, whispering, “it’s not my fault yer daughter is a stinkin’ thief.”

she laughed. “little bastard. he was the worst influence on you. funny how he turned out. would never expect a son of deirdre donovan to make something of himself. i guess we owe it all to the wife. she…”

my body snapped back to action. i was moving away before she could say her name. putting the sweater on the bed next to her, i brushed my hands against my sweatpants and mumbled: “right, look we need to get rid of all this before i can unpack. do you know someone with skinny teenage children? ideally with a questionable fashion sense?”

“we can drive to the clothes recycling point.”

“grand! let’s do that after work.” i told her, kicking my way through the discarted clothes toward the closet and dumping whatever was left on top of the rest. “i need to get back to work now. i have a meeting in 20.”

“oh, ok. sorry.” she chuckled, standing up. “i will bring some bags to put all of this in.” she reached for the sweater on her way out and i jumped in to block her path on impulse.

“uh… where are you taking that?”

she blinked up at me, brown eyes surprised. “downstairs. i figured i could return it to the rightful owner rather than donate it to charity. although,” she giggled, pulling it apart for scale, “i doubt it will still fit him.”

she was gone before i could open my mouth, taking the sweater with her. my clenched fists unclenched with effort as i pushed the door closed and leaned my back against it. i was breathing too hard. the way you handed me that sweater through the driver’s side window on that rainy, a blast from the past; a ghostly memory. just enough to make me shudder.

[breella]

Secrets

A/N: This was originally part of a series I was writing but I wasn't happy with how the first part came out so I decided to post this part. Background info that is missing due to not posting the first part: y/n is Rhys' sister. She was under the mountain with him. Her and Eris met each other under the mountain and a mating bond snapped in place for them. They knew it wasn't safe to accept it there so they his it from everyone including Rhys. This takes place after the war with Hybern.

Also this is my first time writing anything other than essays in over 10 years. Sorry for any mistakes I haven't edited yet. I know if I don't post it now I won't. lol

You were sitting at the dinner table in the house of wind with your family when you heard Eris’s voice come through the bond. “I need to see you” he said. His voice had an edge to it that you hadn’t heard before. Annoyed by the interruption you sighed.

“Everything okay?” Cassian asked as he bumped your shoulder with his own.

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine. Sorry I was just thinking about the amount of paperwork I have piled on my desk.” You replied. You saw Rhys studying you from the corner of you eye but ignored him. You didn’t feel like dealing with your overprotective big brother right now.

“Y/n please talk to me.” Eris said in your mind. His tone almost made you want to give in. It had been three weeks since you last saw him. The two of you had a big fight. He still wasn’t ready to accept the bond. He said it would never be safe for you as long as Beron was alive. You had told him you were done waiting and that you weren’t afraid of Beron. You pleaded with him to allow you to accept the bond so that the two of you didn’t have to hide anymore and could finally be together. Things escalated into yelling, both of you saying things you didn’t mean. At the end you told him you were done. You said you would reject the bond. “Fine” was all he said as you walked away. He didn’t follow you.

“I’m busy, Eris.” You sent back. Your heart was still broken. You didn’t mean what you said about rejecting the bond. You knew deep down he didn’t mean the things he said to you that night. You just couldn't understand why he didn’t want to accept the mating bond. Did he not love you? Was he embarrassed of you?

“Meet me tonight y/n. I need to see you. It’s been too long.” He said.

“I can’t keep doing this. It hurts too much.” You let more emotion come through in your reply than you intended. You wanted him to think you were okay without him. You wanted him to believe that you didn’t need him.

“I never intended to hurt you. Meet me in our usual spot and we can talk about things.”

“Fine. I’ll be there at midnight.” You replied and slammed your mental shields down. You knew you shouldn’t have given in that easily. This meeting was going to end in 1 of 2 ways. Either you would end up arguing again and you would leave more heart broken than you already were, or he would give you the same excuses as always and the two of you would spend the night with him inside of you and leave in the morning without talking about anything.

“Are you coming with us y/n” you were pulled out of your thoughts by Mor’s question. You hadn’t heard the conversation, but you knew enough about your friends to assume they were going to Rita’s on a Saturday night.

“Not tonight. I have something I need to take care of.” You faked a smile at her.

“Oh, come on. You haven’t been out with us in ages. We will have so much fun.”

“Next time” was your only reply as you got up and walked into the kitchen to empty your plate. You needed time to gather your thoughts. You poured yourself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter sighing. It wasn’t long before you heard footsteps entering the kitchen. You turned and met the stare of your brother. “I should have known you would follow me in here.”

“What’s wrong?” Concern laced through his features.

“You worry too much.” You laughed.

“You haven’t been yourself lately.” Rhys replied.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You lied. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell Rhys or any of the rest of your family the truth. You knew you would have to tell them one day, but right now you had enough to deal with. Once Eris was ready, if he ever was, you would work out how and when to tell them. For now, you didn’t want them to worry. You knew once they found out Eris was your mate, they would try to keep you away from him. They would try to convince you not to accept the bond. They didn’t know him in the way you did. No one truly knew him like you did. You were the only person he let see the real him. He had saved you under the mountain, and no matter what happened between the 2 of you now you would forever be grateful for that.

12:01 am. You spent the last hour debating on backing out. Your heart couldn’t handle much more. You felt a pull on that invisible string forever tying the two of you together. You knew he was waiting. You hoped he was as nervous as you were. You took one last look in the mirror. You had changed out of the dress you were wearing and into a pair of black leggings and cream-colored oversized sweater. You left your hair down because you knew he loved it that way. You also had applied some deep red lipstick because you knew it drove it mad. You knew you looked good but the casual clothing you opted for made it seem as if you weren’t trying too hard to impress him. Satisfied by your looks you decided you were as ready as you were ever going to be. You winnowed directly into the cabin hidden deep inside the autumn forest.

“Hello beautiful.” Eris smirked at you.   

[kayssweetdreams]

Love Conquers All

(A tie in story to BBU: The Ballad of Beatrice. There will be some important plot points here, so spoilers to come)

Cotton stared out into the distance of where she and Midnight settled this time. She gave a sigh. It was the anniversary of when she and Midnight first met and fell in love, but due to Midnight's...infamy, they couldn't go anywhere fancy, or even around other animals without them screaming in terror and trying to attack.

A tear rolled down Cotton's face, she still couldn't stop thinking about how their love ended up changing everything...and that terrible incident that caused them to go on the run in the first place. A gentle paw rested itself on her shoulder "Cotton dear? what troubles you?" Midnight asked, his voice bringing Cotton out of her thoughts. The pink sheep wiped her eyes "I-It's nothing, just reminiscing....that's all." she said.

Midnight wasn't fooled by her words "Cotton, my sweet treat, I know you...you never shed tears unless it's troubling thoughts in your head." he said, his paw wiping away one of the sheep's tears. Cotton sighed, she hated when Midnight saw through her. "Oh Midnight...It's just that, I'm remembering the incident. And how it caused us to be like this now..." she said, looking down to the ground.

"I sometimes wonder, if the universe is setting us up to fail. If we hadn't have met, then maybe...maybe none of this would have happened..." she weeped, more tears falling from her eyes. Midnight sighed. He couldn't help but remember that the incident was partially his fault as well, but Cotton had the luxury of walking away scott free, while he was a wanted lion...but she never left him.

He held her hooves "Well...if we never met, I would never have found the sweetest sheep in this world, nor would I have ever learned that love was possible for me...with another species." He said, cupping Cotton's face with his paw. Cotton still didn't stop "But you're wanted! We can't go anywhere without you having to wear a disguise, or hiding." She said, holding his paws

"I would have still been a wanted Lion, incident or not. No accident in the world could ever change that, nor could it ever stop me from loving you." He said, a smile visible on his muzzle. Cotton sniffed, Even though Midnight was hunted around the world, he still loved her...and she still loved him. "Oh Midnight...nothing could ever stop me from loving you either." She said clasping both his paws.

The two of them shared a loving embrace as they gazed out at where they set up shop this time: The Tree where they first fell in love. Where their paths first crossed, and where their hearts became one. "Well, Let's set everything up. Nobody is gonna come here." Midnight said, walking back inside the shop to grab a few items inside.

Moments later, the two of them were having a romantic candlelit dinner under the stars. Midnight had cooked his famous risotto (That Cotton Loves) and Cotton had gone through the trouble of sneaking a bottle of Midnight's favorite champagne into the shop when they had traveled, popping it open and pouring them both a glass.

Just as Cotton went to go and bring out her Estrella cupcakes, Midnight then asked "Remember the first night when we kissed?". Cotton smiled "I remember. We sat underneath this very tree, and you had started to sing for me." She said, setting the tray down. Her ears then perked up when she heard Midnight sing.

If happiness was a tangible thing

It would be you

If you'd have told me the feeling you'd bring

I'd think it untrue

And people search for a wonder like you

All of their lives

You still amaze me after all this time

Cotton felt the tears well up in her eyes again as Midnight bowed and held out a paw, offering a dance to the sheep.

You pull me in like some kind of wind

Mesmerized by the hold I'm in

Leave you here, I don't wanna

I wanna

The two of them waltz in the forest, the lights in the Flora providing them with enough light to see in each other's eyes as they danced through the night

Promise as one does

I, I will protect you at all costs

Keep you safe here in my arms

I, I will protect you at all costs

At all costs

Midnight sang his heart out, his eyes hidden underneath his mane, but Cotton could see love behind it, as she began to sing as well

What's pain when I look at you? No way

I could explain you, even if tried to

I'll never dream like used to do

If someone tried to hurt you, I don't

See how that could happen

I'd fight for you in ways you can't imagine

Felt this, no, I haven't, I hope

It would be all right to stay right here beside you

Midnight could feel his heart soar as he heard Cotton's voice, the song that they sang, many moons ago, but their love never dwindling. The two of them sang together, their voices joining together.

And promise as one does

I, I will protect you at all costs

Keep you safe here in my arms

I, I will protect you at all costs

At all costs

The power of their voice joined together, as the two of them could feel themselves getting weightless, the world losing its gravity as their love lifted them above the trees and into the stars

If you're ever feeling like you're lost

I will come find you

Man all fronts, there's no ocean I won't swim across

To be right by you

And not just once, here and now I swear on my response

I'll remind you

This was the most carefree and happy that the couple had ever felt ever since the incident, it seemed that everything just disappeared, and it was only them that mattered...right there, right now.

And promise as one does

I, I will protect you at all costs

Keep you safe here in my arms

I, I will protect you at all costs

At all costs

Cotton and Midnight smiled as they soared above the air, the moon acting as their spotlight, and the stars their audience, as they gave each other a passionate kiss that lit up the night...

Just goes to show. True Love can conquer all...

Art done by the awesome @robinfollies

@billiebustupofficial @bbu-fan-blog

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

Illicit affairs | twenty

 *Ellie’s POV* I felt like I was floating on a cloud right now. Noah and I laid in bed talking about everything and anything, cuddling and carelessly touching each others bodies. Kisses were stolen, laughter echoed the walls as he told me the most revolting jokes I’ve ever heard. I can’t believe I get to have this every night with this man, it was almost a sigh of relief. My anxiety of wondering when he had to leave or when I’d be seeing him again finally left me. 

“I can’t believe you’re all mine.” Noah swooned, biting my upper thigh gently. I squirmed from the contact and rolled onto my back. His midnight eyes melted me as he towered over me. I lifted my head, trailing kisses all over his neck before gently nibbling on his collarbone.

“And you’re all mine.” I breathed before kissing over the spot I left red. “We should …never mind.” Noah sat up on the bed between my thighs, his face was flushed as he looked down at me. He looked so beautiful, it was almost unfair.

“What?” He shrugged but there was still a serious look in his eye, my heart was racing wondering what thoughts were swarming his mind. “We should that tattooed on each other.” “What? Mine?” I gasped, never expecting him to do something that permanent with me. “Why not? We can commemorate us starting our lives together.” He smirks, dragging his lips over my bare knee. “Plus I want the world to know who I belong to.” “Care to do it tonight?” “Baby it’s 8PM, nowhere will be open.” He laughed between the countless kisses he trailed on down my thigh, getting close to uncharted territory. “Danielle’s boyfriend is a tattoo artist. He’s come over a few times to tattoo my impulses.” “Let’s do it.” He mused, stopping the barrage of kisses he left on my thighs. I rolled over and grabbed my phone to text Danielle, she replied right away and said they’d be over in an hour.

“I want you to write mine.” Noah said as we went into the living room to wait for them. 

“In that case I want you to do the same.” I replied walking over to my desk to grab my work notebook and a pen. We wrote a few different versions of the word before exchanging papers and choosing what one we wanted. We had both written ours in soft scripture but had our own flare on it, it was perfect.

“Ready to be stuck with me for the rest of your life?”

“Are you sure you want to be stuck with me?” I chuckled as there was a knock on the door. I let Danielle and Mark inside, they both greeted Noah and Mark went straight to work setting up his equipment. Noah was such a gentleman and embraced Danielle before taking the bottle of wine she brought into the kitchen for us. 

“El, I brought some wine.” Danielle offered, but it was more her way of getting me into the kitchen so we could talk in private. Noah brushed my cheek as he walked past me to go hang out with Mark, causing my face to flush his favourite shade of pink.

“Matching tattoos already?”

“Dani…” I groaned and I went to grab some wine glasses. 

“I’m kidding.” She laughed as she unscrewed the wine bottle and began pouring us some pretty full glasses. “I thought you two would’ve ran off and got married by now.”

“Trust me, I’ve thought about it.” I replied as I took a sip of my wine, “he is finally moving here though.” “Shut up!”

Before I could reply, Mark came into the kitchen to let us know he was ready. I grabbed my wine and went back into the living room with him. Mark had his kit set up and our stencils were ready to go. Noah sat on the couch, almost giddy that this was happening, he couldn’t hide his smile. His eyes met mine and my body instantly filled with butterflies, I absolutely adored every part of this man. 

“Where do you want yours?” “Ask her.” Noah replied, grabbing my hand to bring me closer to him. My finger grazed around where I bit earlier, but he was already tattooed there, obviously. I noticed he had the smallest blank space between where his neck tattoo and his chest piece begun, which was perfect. Mark said he would make it dark enough to stand out between the two pieces. I held Noah’s hand the entire time he got his tattoo done, luckily it only took a couple minutes. He hardly flinched and didn’t dare take his eyes off mine.

“I love it so much babe.” I smiled as Noah admired his tattoo in the mirror Mark held up. 

“Me too baby” Noah said softly, kissing my cheek before he got up.  

“Your turn El’s” Mark said giving the spot where Noah was sitting a slap. I scooted over as Mark grabbed the stencil. He motioned for Noah to come over and Noah studied my upper thigh, his finger ever so gently riding my shorts up, finally landing on my upper thigh where he was kissing me earlier. Mark nodded and put the stencil on, getting ready to start. Noah sat beside me as our eyes locked, his hand brushed my neck to help subside the pain I was feeling. Not gonna lie, this might be the hottest thing we’ve ever done, and we’ve done a lot of sinful things. After we were done, Mark wrapped our tattoos for us and we all sat on my patio drinking the rest of the wine, Noah opted out which I respected. We talked about Noah moving up here, what happened between Danielle and Bryan, which was simply him ghosting her because he was immature as hell. It was the perfect night and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Noah the entire time. His hand caressed my bare legs the entire time, even when he wasn’t speaking to me he was innocently touching me. 

“It’s perfect.” Noah smiled, kissing around my bandage after Danielle and Mark left, leaving goosebumps all over my body. “There’s no one in this world I want to be forever connected to like I am with you.” “Forever?” “Till my last breath.”

[probsnothawkeye]

At midnight Central Daylight Time on Friday, March 29, 2024, @athansmusic released his debut album. Limbo, the album in question, is a story of hurt, addiction, regret, healing, recovery, and content. Over the course of three years, Athan worked to create this album, pouring his entire heart and incredibly personal experiences into each of the songs. I originally intended on doing short form reviews of each song, trying to fit all of my thoughts into a tweet or less; but Limbo deserves far more than that. Each song tells a story and each story has a parallel; to reduce that to two hundred and eighty characters would be a disservice to the album and to you, the person reading this. Before we begin, I should make a few things clear:

Things I am not:

A trained musician

A professional critic or reviewer of any sort

Things I am:

A lover of music

Someone who was deeply moved by this album

With this out of the way, we are ready to dive into the world of Limbo and the stories Athan has weaved into it.

Song 1 - Limbo

The album opens, as you might expect, with the titular track. Limbo immediately gives you the sense of being stuck; stuck in life, stuck in your emotions, stuck in your own mind. “I’ve been stuck here / Stuck in limbo for days” is the line at the heart of the chorus and this sentiment can be felt in every inch of the song. The instrumentals of this song start with a simple beat that grows over the course of the first verse and bursts into a full life in the chorus. Athan has a propensity for voice modulation that works so perfectly with the instrumentals that are being layered. What is especially noteworthy is the way the chorus progresses from one of finality to one of hope. “I don’t think I can / I don’t think I will / make it out of here / Maybe I never can” becomes “I don’t think I can / or maybe I will / Make it out of here / Maybe I can”. Despite this sense of being trapped, being stuck, there is still hope. It’s that hope that will become a thread throughout the album as it goes from one of pain and regret into growth and relief.

Song 2 - Chronic

There are two sides to Limbo. Side A deals with pain and that is seen very clearly in Chronic. As a person with pretty severe depression, I latched onto Chronic right away; it’s the kind of song that reflects exactly what I’m feeling without the song or its creator knowing what I’m feeling. The lyrics portray a sense of listlessness and a lack of belonging that digs deep into the heart and squeezes it from the inside out. “Hold on tightly / to what excites me / Otherwise I might drown, shit, it’s tempting.” I have felt this exact thing multiple times in my life; hell, multiple times in this past week. There is an incredible amount of relatability in Athan’s lyrics– something that clearly comes from his personal connections to the songs he’s writing. You cannot fake that kind of emotion and it is emotion that anyone can latch onto and relate to. Couple that with the slow, almost reverberating beat of the song and you get the masterpiece that is Chronic.

Song 3 - The Valley

The Valley is one of the shortest songs on the album, however that doesn’t stop it from being an emotional punch to the stomach. It’s a song about family, about the pain that family can cause and the ways that it impacts a person. It’s about the excuses that people make for themselves, for their families; how even when you know it is an excuse, you still end up craving it. It’s a song that both minimizes its own pain and allows itself to feel it fully. “And my problems are small / But they’re taller than me”. Two lines that encapsulate an emotion that I cannot name but have felt time and time again; two lines that help drive that punch to the stomach that this song provides. Athan has a way of creating these songs that have a beat to them that doesn’t feel like it matches with the emotionality of the lyrics, and yet it all blends together so well. The Valley is short. But it does so much with its runtime that you forget that it’s a short song.

Song 4 - WhatDoIDo

WhatDoIDo is one of my favorite songs on Side A. It hurts me in a way you might not expect when you listen to it yourself. That’s the beautiful thing about this album; its relatability makes each song hit differently for different people. “Well maybe I don’t know what I need / Maybe I’m running on empty” is a line that hits me square in the chest and pulls thoughts of my current depressive episode. This is different than what it might mean for you, it’s different than what it means for Athan, and yet it still hits all the same. WhatDoIDo is another song with a very heavy beat to it, similar to the reverberation of Chronic. It adds a level of depth to the song that makes it feel like it's dragging you down with it in the best imaginable way. Mix that with Athan’s love of voice modulation and effects that he used in this song and you create something absolutely incredible.

Song 5 - Chameleon

 “I've got about / 50 different hats that I have to wear. / One for my mom, one for my job. / One for my friends, one to survive.” Once again I have to applaud Athan for the relatability of his lyrics. The first time I heard this, I paused the song and stared off into space for a minute before restarting the song and letting it hit me again. Chameleon is a song about fitting in, about finding your place in the world and how hard it can be to be yourself. “Who am I without you around? / Maybe I can blend in somehow.” How well do we really know who we are? So much of a person is influenced by those around them; what happens when all of that goes away? What happens when it’s just you? These questions don’t have answers, but Chameleon asks them anyway and puts a fun beat to it while it rips your heart out. 

Song 6 - Distance

Distance is another song with an incredibly fun rhythm to it that punches you in the face with the lyrics. I boxed to this song recently and it’s perfect for a high energy/fast boxing session but it also has lyrics that break my heart in half. “I’ve been treading water for so long / It feels like I might just give up” – another set of lines that pulls an emotion I have felt for my whole life right out of my brain when I didn’t have the words for it. This is a song that I pick up on a little more each time I listen; different lyrics will stand out, or different ways that the instrumentals hit will pop to the forefront of my listen. One thing that I always think about is how this song feels like a race. You can feel the distance growing and growing as the race is run but you’re so far behind the song. You’re so far behind everyone else, and that’s what the song is trying to do. Athan has managed to space the chorus and verses in a way that it feels anticipatory, like you’re waiting to catch up to what is being said. “The distance it feels like it’s growing / but I will not grow”; the instrumentals perfectly make you feel that line in the pit of your chest, growing and crashing over you before simplifying during the verses as though Athan can’t keep up with the instrumentals themselves. 

Song 7 - Moon

Moon starts out with these lovely and light instrumentals and soft singing that make you feel like it’s a love song until you listen to it. In some ways it is a love song, but the root of the song itself is actually in insecurity, selfishness, and feeling that you aren’t enough for the person you care about. “I’ve been staring at the moon and it feels like / I don’t need you for forever, just for the night / I don’t care if it’s only temporary / I’d rather be happy for a moment of your time” – This section of the song is the chorus and it starts and ends the song as this beautiful mirroring that misses all of the turmoil that lies in between them. There is a point in this song where everything drops and that sense of insecurity and fear and darkness seeps all the way into the lyrics. You may not know this by looking at him, but Athan can scream just as well as any metal artist out there. And you might not expect this song that I described up top to have screaming in it, but it does and it hits so incredibly well. There are a variety of different talents that Athan shows off with this album; screaming just happens to be one. It adds to the depth and darkness of this section before it flips back into the light and lovely chorus that rounds out the song as if that drop never happened at all. It’s a beautiful song that uses its catchy chorus and light beat to lull you into a false sense of security so when everything drops it hits that much harder. 

Song 8 - DNR

This is another one of my favorite songs on Side A. It’s one of my favorite songs on the whole album. The first time I saw the title I thought to myself “DNR as in… Do not resuscitate? Or is this going to stand for something else– Nope! Do not resuscitate, cool cool cool.” This is one of the many songs that made me say “Jesus fucking christ Athan” out loud in my room while listening. And yet these darker tones to the song are part of the reason I love it so much. It’s a song about death that doesn’t feel like it’s about death. Sure, the words “Do not resuscitate me” are kind of blatantly obvious in their being about death; but the instrumentals and beat of the song itself are very fun and punchy. It starts out with these lightly strummed guitar notes that pair perfectly with Athan’s gentle singing and then it grows into something that decides it wants to hurt you in the best way. I also need to be a Classics major on main again and talk about the line “I can feel the coins of gold and silver resting on my eyes” because it’s one of those lines that just constantly sticks in my brain. Athan is ready to pay the ferryman to take him to the Underworld; it’s a nice little reference that makes me so happy I have cast him in a mythology themed podcast.

Song 9 - Break

It’s time to talk about horns! As in the instrument, not as in the thing on animals/demons/etc. You don’t expect them to show up and when they do you’re there like “Hell yeah horns!” Now you may be wondering why I am bringing this up now and all I will say for now is: it’s about the parallelism. But until we get to that part, let’s talk about the lyrics for this song because they do severe emotional damage to me. As I’ve said many times at this point, Athan is absolutely masterful at lyrics and relatability; this song is no exception. This whole album has a tone of parallelism from Side A to Side B, but this song in particular also parallels itself nicely. The first verse serves as a groundwork for the second verse to flip in answering. “Well I think you may have had it right / I’m tired of living in this life” versus “Well I think I may have had it wrong / Maybe I’m right where I belong”; “Mentally, I don’t think I can feel anything” versus “And yet I feel everything”. The way Athan’s lyrics speak to each other always ends up squeezing my heart in ways that are hard to put into words. Which might seem surprising given how long this is. The emotionality of it all feels so real because it is real. Athan has said time and time again that this is a very personal project for him and it bleeds into every second of the music in the best way imaginable. 

Song 10 - Persephone

We’ve reached what might be my favorite song on the album. It’s definitely my favorite song on Side A. This song is slow and soft and dark and beautiful; it is the musical equivalent of the John Everett Millais painting Ophelia. “Lay me down in the flower bed / Let it pull me undertow / I feel the darkness close around me / But I kinda like it though”. Something I haven’t talked about much yet is Athan’s vocals. Not only is he writing absolutely stunning lyrics and putting together these songs with a wide variety of different feels to them, he’s also an incredible vocalist. His vocals on Persephone are part of the reason I love this so much; there’s a point where his voice breaks just the slightest bit and it makes the song feel so much more real and poignant. It squeezes my heart in the best imaginable way. This song also includes a medley of all of the songs on side A which is absolutely stunning. The way the medley allows the different songs to speak to each other and in response to each other creates this beautiful picture of everything that came so far. 

Song 11 -  Diáleimma

We’ve officially reached the end of Side A! This song is the shortest on the album and also one of the most beautiful in my opinion. It represents the transition point between the two sides of this story; from pain and loss and regret into growth and love and recovery. The through line of the song is this idea that “I gotta be a better me”. The song itself is slow, almost reflective in the way it’s presented; it’s as if the song itself is thinking about how it is being perceived and is striving to be better. Diáleimma closes this chapter of the story, turning the page for us as it does so. 

Before we move on to Side B, we’re going to take a brief moment to talk about the album art for Limbo. It was painted by NataliesDreaming, who also happens to be Athan’s wife. Natalie is an incredibly talented artist and has produced an absolutely gorgeous cover for the album. The colors used feel like an extension of the songs themselves, tapping into the hope that grows throughout the album. Natalie’s work also allows you to feel the movement of falling; everything about it is absolutely stunning. This has been the brief intermission to talk about the album art and also to say that Natalie is super cool. Back to the album!

Song 12 - AmIDoingThisRight

Athan opens the second half of the album on an unanswerable question: AmIDoingThisRight? As we discussed previously, this is an album in parallels. If Limbo is about being stuck, AmIDoingThisRight is about trying to get yourself unstuck and the fear that still comes with that. You never know in life if you are doing things right, if the decisions you are making are the ones that you need to make. The bridge of this song lives rent free in my mind: “Cause I don’t think I appreciate everyone in front of me now / And I don’t think I recognize everything that’s detrimental to my health”. The voice modulation Athan does on that part specifically is so fucking good. 

Song 13 - Pocket

Pocket is one of my favorite songs on Side B (You’ll be seeing this phrase a lot coming up because I love so many songs). It’s a song about addiction and relapse which punches into that idea of relatability again. As someone who has struggled with self harm (albeit in a different way than Athan has) this song reached into my heart and pulled me back to my relapse, but in a way that felt healing rather than concerning. It’s a sad song that disguises itself as a soft song but it’s so beautifully done. The chorus makes me feel every emotion under the sun: “I feel so low / I swore that I’d let it go / It’s not a broken promise / I don’t know, I found it in my pocket babe”. This song feels so close to my heart in ways I cannot explain so I won’t try to. I will simply tell you that this song is beautiful and heart-squeezing.

Song 14 - (Good) Goodbye

Athan shared the context of this song and it punched me in the face. This song parallels The Valley and takes that song about family to a more heartbreaking level. One of my favorite lines from this song is “I’m so scared that my last memories / Will be made from my bad days”. Again, it’s about the relatability; that fear is very real, especially when dealing with family while depressed. The pain from Side A still stays in Side B, it just gets grown around and expanded upon to let the hope into it. (Good) Goodbye works very well with this idea; it’s a song that hurts but also leaves room to heal.

Song 15 - Feel It In My Chest

Another one of my favorite songs on Side B! It is the first song on the album to make me cry; if you know me, you know that that is surprising since I cry at most things. “But your soul is destructive / And you’re gonna end up alone” did lasting damage to me personally and I did cry about it. Despite that, this song is hopeful and full of love. It parallels WhatDoIDo and the answer to that question appears to be: you love anyway. “Feel it in my heart / Feel you in my soul / Held you in my hands / The greatest thing to hold”. The first half of the album feels like someone struggling on their own whereas Side B feels like someone learning how to open up and ask for help. Feel It In My Chest feels like opening up despite the fear of it all; the fear of ending up alone doesn’t outweigh the love that can be found with someone. 

Song 16 - Concealer

Concealer is one of my favorite songs on the album. It also punches me in the chest in ways that make me cry. This song parallels Chameleon and both songs are about the masks that people put on. Where Chameleon asks how to be someone without the influence of another person, Concealer asks how much of yourself do you need to hide to get help. “I’m struggling / Under the weight / Well I don’t know how much more I can take. / Could fade into the ether / Or maybe I’ll wear concealer now”. The way Athan sings “I don’t know how much more I can take” haunts me in the best way possible. It’s raw and real and it hurts so incredibly. The instrumentals on this are light and soft so the weight of the lyrics can fully sink into your bones. It’s a beautiful song that makes room around the pain to facilitate growth.

Song 17 - Growing Pains

Growing Pains has sections of whispering which honestly make me uncomfortable but in a good way. It’s partially the misophonia of it all, but it’s also just the pain of it all. It is, as it says, growing pains. It’s the growth that Concealer made room for, the space needed to heal and become more. “Why the fuck am I comparing / All the lights in the distance to yours? / You’re all I need” – Remember how I mentioned the idea of Side B being about learning how to ask for help? This song helps to dig into that idea; it’s a form of growing. The instrumentals of this song are light and airy and a little spacey; I’m fully obsessed with them. 

Song 18 - Inside

The parallelism between Moon and Inside is some of my favorites. Moon is a sad song disguised as a love song; Inside is a love song disguised as a sad song. “Well maybe it’s supposed to hurt / This love it feels like work / But fuck it I know; it’s worth it to grow / Into the dirt”. This song is enhanced by the fact that Natalie (the aforementioned artist and also Athan’s wife) is also featured on the track. Athan has said that this is the first duet they’ve recorded together and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Their voices compliment each other so nicely and Natalie has a lovely singing voice. You can feel the love that they have for each other in the song, even in the sadder lyrics of it all. This brings me back to the parallelism: Moon is about something temporary, something that is thought not to last. Inside is about someone who has stayed, someone who will stay and will help and will always be there. It brings the hope back into this story because it proves that people stay. That help can be given. 

Song 19 - Motionsick

This song has a lot of religious symbolism that I fully missed until Athan mentioned that it had religious symbolism. And once I had that context, all of the plays on words and phrases were just. So incredibly well done. “Why don’t I know you / Why don’t I know you anymore? / Why, why, try? / I fight this devotion Feels like I’m motion sick” – You might look at that and go “Pine, that’s pretty obvious isn’t it?” To which I say yes, it is, I just missed it because me and religion haven’t exactly gotten on very well. This also has a parallel I love with it’s Side A counterpart DNR: “I’m throwing punches / Battle what’s inside of me” in DNR which becomes “I’m boxing with my shadow but I keep on landing punches / It seems I like to bruise” and this does things to my brain that I cannot stop feeling. 

Song 20 - Bend

And we have reached the other contender for my favorite song on the album! This is my favorite song on Side B for sure, but I cannot figure out if Bend or Persephone is my favorite. Bend is such a hopeful song; it’s bright and beautiful and we’re back to the horns! Athan played the horns for Bend and they are always always in my mind. He didn’t play the horns on Break (this song’s counterpart) but that’s okay because he has played the brighter version of the horns and I’m obsessed with them. This song rounds out that idea of learning to ask for help even when– or perhaps especially when– it’s difficult. “Opening up doesn’t come easy for me / For me now / But I gotta learn how / Cause I don’t think I can help myself up tonight” – a line that perfectly encapsulates that idea. Part of the reason this song ends up feeling as bright and hopeful as it does is because it tells you that when you ask for help it will be given– “Oh, I know that it might have been a bad fall / But you’ll be there to catch me at the bottom after all”. This song has only been in my life for a week but it has made a home in my heart that it is never going to leave. It means so much to me already and it’s absolutely gorgeous. 

Song 21 - ESC

ESC has a very space-y vibe that feels like it is built for escape. The entire song feels like it is floating and then the lyrics pull you back down to earth again. It’s one of the shorter songs on the album, but it has a gentle beauty to it that leaves it lingering in my mind. “And I’ll fall / Down in insecurities/ I; I’m buried in shit surrounding me” is another one of those lines that really does things to me as someone who has been depressed for most of my life. That’s one of the most beautiful things about Athan’s music: short, beautiful lines that can make anyone feel connected to them.

Song 22 - Telos

And we return to the line introduced at the end of Side A: “I gotta be a better me”. Where in Diáleimma it feels like a judgement, like an impossible command, in Telos it feels like it’s something that is just around the corner, almost within grasp. Telos is bright and full of life as opposed to the darkness of Diáleimma. They compliment each other so well– as was Athan’s design. It also includes another medley of things from the entire album and it’s incredibly fun. It’s the perfect way to round out the main portion of the album– it closes the story and feels like a celebration of the whole album. And it’s an album very much worth celebrating.

Song 23 - Chronic (Piano Version)

You get a brief reprieve from my ridiculous amount of words since this one is a piano cover. It’s a very beautiful version of the song though.

Song 24 - Intertwined (Acoustic) 

This is an acoustic version of one of Athan’s older songs. It has beautiful instrumentals and lyrics that feel like they grew into some of the songs that are on the album as a whole. Athan didn’t put the lyrics on Bandcamp so I can’t pull examples for you but trust me they’re good.

Song 25 - Chronic (House Version)

There’s not much that I can say about this version that I hadn’t said about Chronic originally. But it is a fun additional version!

Song 26 - Hallelujah (feat. The Grotto)

This is one of my favorite versions of Hallelujah that I have ever heard in my life. The style is different from the other songs on the album, but fits perfectly into the music that Athan did for his podcast The Grotto. The Grotto is a liminal horror podcast about grief and it is absolutely incredible. The reason that this song is listed as ‘feat. The Grotto’ is partially because it’s Athan using that style of music but also because he included some of his screams from The Grotto in it. Don’t look too closely at why he was screaming. It’s not important. But this version of the song– because of the style that it’s done in– feels so unique and has a depth to it that can only be achieved in this medium. Athan had originally released it for The Grotto patreon and I listened to it after a bit of an emotional breakdown. It is as close to a religious experience as I am capable of experiencing. Hallelujah is the only cover Athan has on Limbo– he does more covers for The Grotto which are also excellent. Of all of the covers that he could’ve included, this one feels like the perfect fit. It mixes with the content of the songs Athan has written so well and showcases another style that he is able to pull off.

Song 27 - Bend (Acoustic)

Athan called it the acoustic version but I think of it as the silly version. There is a levity to the song that is palpable– it feels like a test run of the song but in the best way possible. It also gives a bit of insight into what the process of creation was like for Athan. In the original version of Bend, there is the line “I don’t think I will reach thirty if I’m lucky now”; the acoustic version follows up with Athan laughing at the fact that he’s much closer to 30 than he was when he wrote that. “I’m so glad to be alive”, a small little bit of this version but such a big change from the original words that were written. If you couldn’t tell by the amount of words I’ve put into this, I’m also glad Athan is alive. He’s written absolutely incredible music that he has shared with the world despite (or perhaps because of) the intense emotional weight of the content. 

Limbo is an album that longs. It grieves. But it also hopes. It hopes so much and shows that healing and recovery are possible. Athan spent three years working on Limbo and now it’s here; it exists in the world to be listened to and shared and written about and loved. This album has so much heart to it. The lyrics are beautiful, the instrumentals brilliantly crafted, and the vocals are stunning. It is an album that deserves to be spoken about in depth. It’s an album that deserves your time and attention. As far as debut albums go, this album showcases so much of what Athan can do while still leaving room for growth and new ways for him to surprise and delight anyone who is listening to his music. It also punches directly into the heart in the most amazing way, letting you know exactly what he can do with music moving forward. I feel very fortunate to be able to listen to this album and to know that I will be following along with whatever else Athan will be doing next. I’m also fortunate enough to get to collaborate with Athan on projects– he’ll be in my next podcast and I will also be paying him to do music for the show. Getting to work with someone so talented is a wild feeling, but I’m so excited for it. 

Thank you for joining me on this very long, very in depth review of Limbo. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and I hope you enjoy the album!

[jmdbjk]

White Day, Pt. 3 (and 4)

He really dialed it down for our third date of the evening. It was après ski night in his purple ski jacket and wooly white beanie. He said he was trying to create a ski lodge vibe. So cozy of him. The crackle and warm glow of the wood wick candle adds to the ambience.

He pretended his drink was warm mulled wine and mentioned that Yoongi made something called “Devil’s Mulled Wine,” which sounds yummy.

He kept the playlist very low key while aiming for a “winter” vibe. 

He opened the good stuff (the bottle of Talisker) and poured himself a fresh drink and launched into Falling. I adore him. Fun fact: LOTTE Trevi Sparkling Water Lemon Flavor is sold out. I bet he was ticked off when he found out. 

Anyway. I think playing Falling right off sort of set the tone for the next 40 minutes. It was very subdued and chill. He promised not to make the mistake again of falling asleep.

He unzipped his jacket and teased us a little. (!!!) 

As the music kept progressively getting more and more subdued he decided to conduct a meditation session.

No, JK, it’s dark, turn on some lights so we can see you. 

Then the last 10-12 minutes he got REALLY quiet. And yes, I thought I saw a tear rolling down his left cheek. WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT? Why so contemplative? He brushed it off trying to say his nose gets runny when he drinks. Since when? This ain’t our first rodeo, JK. You’ve drank/drunk more than you did this night on previous lives and a runny nose wasn’t an issue then?

He was definitely in his feels for some reason. My heart goes out to him. He said he was fine. I trust him. But I hate that something made him emotional. I am a fixer and I just want him to be happy. 

He sucked down the last few gulps of his drink and with his teary bloodshot eyes he bid us good-bye. 

And then he came on live AGAIN! His excuse was he didn’t say a proper good-bye. Then what was all that waving and “annyeong” at the end of our Date #3 just now?

And then we sort of get the idea and understand where his frame of mind may have been dwelling. 

Oh, Kookie... the reality of it all. With Hobi about to leave any day now, I’m sure it is really really REAL for him as well as the others. 

We are so blessed to have the privilege of getting to know him and them through these live broadcasts, even if we only see a fraction of it all. I love him so much and I hope he truly believes and trusts that apobangpo is for real. We will be here forever, Jungkook.

He sweetly reminds us to watch for Jimin’s MV teaser going up at midnight. 

And then he really signs off for the evening. Sweet Kookie. I know it’s hard for everyone to keep moving forward and do what has to be done. It is understandable that he seems like he’s at a standstill. We all want to freeze time and just live in the best moments forever. We will all be fine. It won’t be easy but we’ll be fine.

He said he’d be back next time. I hope Bam will be back with him, so he can at least have him for company while he spends time with us again.

[lordkingsmith]

June lyric prompts 2024

1. Leave it to me to get into some kinda trouble/breaking a rule, crossing a line/leave it to me to step into chaos/tame fire with one hand on the other I could die/I’ve just fallen ten stories but that ain’t hurtin/just dance in fire/but that boy, he is my/current emergency-current emergency by Savannah Campbell

2. And the blood will dry, underneath my nails/And the wind will rise up, to fill my sails/See you can doubt, and you can hate/But I know, no matter what it takes/I'm coming home-coming home by Skylar Grey

3. Always catching myself at night/Only go out when the sun goes down/I got an ocean of emotion inside/I am not Poseidon lover's island but I ride him in the riptide-crybaby by roseboi

4. There’s a dirt road in town/where the north wind blows in jest,/and the midnight sun burns low,/in the woods where now they rest/and the tents in the fields break the younger men’s backs/and corsets and the heels pop the drunken gents slacks/Soapy Smith laid his hand, raised ‘em up in this land/long gone-forever he’s damned-Diamond Lil by Seth and Sara

5. The girl was never there/It's always the same/I'm running towards nothing/Again and again and again.-A Forest by Kaleida

6. And the stress it unwinds/To a pulse of true time/And the symbols they rhyme/Pouring out into my mind/I'm here feeling it all/I'm here, big and small/I can do anything/I can do nothing/I am free, I'm free in my mind-Free by Ocie Elliott

7. Who's that sexy thing I see over there?/That's me, standin' in the mirror/What's that icy thing hanging 'round my neck?/Um, that's gold, show me some respect, oh-Me, Too by Meghan Trainor

8. Such boundless pleasure/We've no time for later now/You can't await your own arrival/You've twenty seconds to comply-Let Go by Imogen Heap

9. I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision/But only for you/My head is stripped just like a screw that's been tightened too many times/When I think of you/I will shield you from the waves/If they find you/I will protect you/Just tell me, tell me, tell me, I/I am the only one/Even if it's not true-Last of the real ones by Fall Out Boy

10. There's a haze above my TV/That changes everything I see/And maybe if I continue watching/I'll lose the traits that worry me/Can we fast forward to go down on me?-New Perspective by Panic!At the disco

11. My body's aching/System overload/Temperature's rising/I'm about to explode/Watch me I'm intoxicated/Taking the show, ah/It's got me hypnotized, ah/Everybody step aside-evacuate the dance floor by Cascada

12. Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret/But I know if I could do it over/I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart/That I left unspoken-what hurts the most by rascal flatts

13. Time to stage a show/smile and pretend/drown in sorrows and cry/tell them all these little white lies/oh, god knows that I’ve tried/pretend that I’m fine-blame by pocket key

14. Recount the night that/I first met your mother/And on the drive back to my house/I told you that, I told you that I loved ya/You felt the weight of the world/Fall off your shoulder/And to your favorite song/We sang along to the start of forever/And after all this time I'm still into you-into you by Paramore

15. Came a time/When every star fall/Brought you to tears again/We are the very hurt you sold/And what's the worst you take/From every heart you break?-Helena by My Chemical Romance

16. Haven't had a dream in a long time/See, the life I've had/Can make a good man bad/So for once in my life/Let me get what I want/Lord knows, it would be the first time-please please please by the smiths

17. I don't need no honey, I want more money/Talking that bad money, that mad money/Only get silly for a billy, yeah, I said I'ma need a couple more zeros on that-Zeros by headie one(feat. Jazzy & cassö)

18. Check yes Juliet/Here's the countdown/Three, two, one, now fall in my arms/Now they can change the locks/Don't let them change your mind

19. I know temptation is the devil in disguise/You risk it all to feel alive, oh, yeah/You're offering yourself to me like sacrifice/You said you do this all the timeTell me you love me if I bring you to the light-take my breath by The Weeknd

20. He knew what to say to sweep me off my feet/I should've never heard a word he said to me/I was comfortable with ignorance is bliss/'Cause I told myself I wouldn't fall for it/But then/Quicker than a flash, he had me at hello/He took me by the hand, we started dancing slow/I didn't wanna get attached but now, I'm far too close-Valentino by MNEK and Years & Years/Olly Alexander

21. Some tings don't work/Some tings are bound to be/Some tings, they hurt/And they tear apart me/You left your diary at my house/And I read those pages/Do you really love me, baby?-wait a minute! By Willow Smith

22. Does the pain weigh out the pride/And you look for a place to hide?/Did someone break your heart inside/You're in ruins-21 guns by Green Day

23. Only you can be the aching in my heart/My enemy, the only animal I couldn't fight/You hold me in the dark when storms arrive/Only you-Ellie Goulding Only You

24. I know we got it good, but they got it made/And their grass is getting greener each day/I know things are looking up, but soon they'll take us down/Before anybody's knowin' our name-all the right moves by one republic

25. If our love is running out of time/I won't count the hours, rather be a coward/When our worlds collide/I'm gonna drown you out before I lose my mind-lalala by naughty boy

26. Handsome, tender, soft/Why do you look right through/Thinking/“No, I can't deny my feelings"/Growing strong/I try to keep believing, dreaming on/And every time I see you, I crave more/I wanna pull you closer, closer, closer, closer/But you leave me feeling frozen

27. There may be/Someone who truly believes love is blind/But I beg to differ there's two of a kind/They will find each other/And that is a real bliss/Our very first kiss-first kiss by Alexander rybak

28. He said "think about the children/Think about the children/You wanted me to write a hit record for the radio/Are you never gonna get it?/The kids already know!/Some girls like girls, some boys got a boyfriend/I like guys and they like me/We hold hands, make out and do all the things that lovers do/Some girls like girls, some boys got a boyfriend/I like guys and they like me/We hold hands, make out and do all the things that lovers do-radio friendly pop song by Matt Fischel

29. We learn to run at speed of light/And to fall down from any height/It's true but just remember that/What we do is what you just can't do/An opera of craziness-cartoon heroes by aqua

30. Hello baby, can I see a smile/I'm going to a party and its gonna be wild (okay)/Can I come, I am sitting alone/No, friends are never alone (that's right)/Maybe some pretty girls are in your world/Excuse me, I could also be your girl/Lately everyone is making fun-best friend by ToyBox

31. Give me the burden, give me the blame/I'll shoulder the load, and I'll swallow the shame/Give me the burden, give me the blame/How many, how many Hail Marys is it gonna take?/Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he's not/He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got-Devil’s Backbone by The Civil Wars

[hueieve]

perfect storybook.

“akaashi, that is? i've learned from our lesson today about myths that it's your name. it suits you being the man in the moon, it sounds gentle and you're very much like the celestial body that you're living in. you're actually the only myth that i believed in, you know?" bokuto pressed his sweating palms against his knees as if trying to rescue them away from his deep ache. the embers of the moon illuminated through his windows where the stir of the night danced through his already cold being.

"akaashi.. today, i was almost kicked out of home. i've always studied hard but the conditions in this house are dreadful. my mom has been enjoying beating me these days. i couldn't even fight back.”

the man in the moon, akaashi, listened carefully. he has known bokuto eversince. he'd always hear his stories like how he used to pop off the bubblegum of his friend as a child to how he's being a lazy bum who thought about not continuing the path of college. akaashi had always watched over him when he sleeps and he finds his face serene as sea. today's tale from bokuto's day was different, there was no sign of happy sunshine in his face. the human was hurt by someone who's dear to him.

akaashi shed a tear.

“akaashi! you're actually listening to me right now? i've seen sparkles on the moon, glistening! are you alright?”

“i've always listened and watched over you.. and i'm alright, just worried.” the man who resided by the moon wanted to say, but can't be heard, so he just let the mild breeze send his feverent desires of letting bokuto know that he was there. the latter did not fail to catch on these subtle signs from the moon man. bokuto's grief melted away with the breeze and it was then that his first smile for today was made.

“anyway, it's past midnight now, akaashi. i hope you're okay, whatever it is that bothers you. your crescent moon looks awfully stunning tonight. sweet dreams."

akaashi hummed to himself and smiled. he made the luminance of the moon brighter as bokuto tucked himself to bed with his window open. perfect timing. the human had told him before that other than the moon, he likes its moonlight— and akaashi never forgot that little detail.

the next day was the same. even if bokuto won't tell him stories, he knew everything. when he's walking home alone from school, he'd illuminate the dark, dim lit streets he's walking in. he'd never seen someone who liked the moon and talked to the man who resides by it more than anyone. he's the only man from the human realm who believed in his existence. surprisingly today, he hasn't talked to him yet and he's just lying on his bed—crying, not until a floating figure came to approach his window.

“it's peter pan. why is he here?” akaashi muttered to himself.

bokuto approached the floating man which he's sure that he has only seen him in storybooks. akaashi overheard their conversation.

“are you..”

“peter pan, that's what they call me, i promise that you'll never be lonely. do you want to come? you'll be happy, eternally, in neverland.”

“can i really.. sure. oh, is that what i'm thinking about?”

“it surely is.”

he sprinkled bokuto in pixie dust and told him to believe, believe in him and believe in himself. before they left,

bokuto said,

“akaashi, i'll come visit you again sometime! i'm going!”

they were off to neverland, where boys who were unloved was now found as they could find eternal euphoria on the land where we thought didn't exist.

“bokuto will be happy there atleast..” akaashi muttered, but he really can't deny that he's in grief. the friend, the person who acknowledged him, was gone. and ever since that day, he was lonely. and when the new moon came, he poured his heart and cried. crying came in no surprise in his life since he was alone, no one to be with but the moon. he had no company, not until he met bokuto who apparently, talked to him. his sobs from before are different from when his precious bokuto left, it's so much heartbreaking than it was from the past. he smiled bitterly when bokuto gave his last message for him several days ago because he knew very well. he had always knew and always been.

because bokuto never came back.

[writingsteph]

TTT Sneak Peek

Got some time and inspo and started writing this, so I decided to post. Could go in many ways, but I'm just glad I put something down.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Riley had gone downstairs to get a bottle of water. It was midnight and her parents expected both twins to be asleep, but the girl had been mindlessly scrolling TikTok til the wee hours. 

 It was midway down her descent of the stairs that she heard their argument in the living room. 

“Lucas I get that the book flopped but it’s been two weeks of this. Of you coming down here at night to mindlessly watch tv. It’s been two weeks of you moping around this house.”

“I spent years writing this book, only for it to fail Brooke. I’m allowed to be upset!”

“I understand you’re upset about the book launch. I know how hard you worked Luke. But you can’t keep wallowing in self-pity. At some point it has to end.”

“Oh pulhease!” He scoffed. 

“Riley and Carter have both asked me if you’re going to be okay. They are just as worried about you!”

“I’m sad Brooke! Okay?! I poured my heart and soul into that book.”

Brooke took a step closer, reaching out to touch his arm gently. "Lucas, you're not alone. You have me, you have our kids. We love you, regardless of what happens with your book. But you have to keep going, for us and for yourself."

Lucas pulled away, his resolve crumbling with his wife’s touch. "I need some air," he muttered, his voice strained with emotion as he stormed out.  

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here.” He left Brooke with those words. Ones that struck the wife like a hot knife. He left Brooke to stare at an empty living room, and a hurt 13 year old to silently trudge back up the steps. Riley stayed up until 3 am waiting for her dad to open the front door again. He never did. 

Riley had kept hearing the argument to herself, choosing not even to tell her twin. She was eager to see if her dad had made his way back but was sorely disappointed when his chair at the table was empty. Always a keen observer Riley noticed her mother’s tired eyes. Her visage less bright.

“Where’s dad?” Carter was the one to ask as they sat down. 

Brooke kissed them both atop their head and placed a plate of warm toast with butter at the center of the table. Riley could see the slight frown that grazed her mom’s lips. 

“He left early for school.”

Carter thought nothing of it, but Riley stared her mother down with bitterness. So they were just going to lie to them about all of this? 

“Riley, eat something please.” Brooke chided because the girl ate so little without the urging of her parents. But she did not feel up to please her mother, or her father really. She rolled her eyes and pushed herself up from the table, “I’m not hungry.” Riley picked up her bag, “I’ll wait outside.”

Brooke looked to her son who put his hands up, “I have no idea what’s up with her. She woke up cranky too. Almost knocked me out when I woke her up.”

Brooke sighed, feeling the weight of her family on her shoulders. Carter had been more easygoing about Lucas’s rough patch. More empathetic to his father’s sadness. Not Riley though. Luke’s little girl did not take well to her father’s slight aloofness the past couple of weeks, and so Brooke tried to be understanding of her attitude, but the girl did not always make it easy.

[justanotherstarlightmonger]

Vee's birthday project day 1

A/n: It just passed midnight on the 28th of October for me, which means there are only 6 days left until my babe's birthday!!

So to celebrate the sweetest soul ever, I've decided to do "Six days of birthday souvenirs"

I'll write something small every day for six days for Jeon Jungkook (who definitely needs more space in my Masterlist anyways) and who also owns Vee's heart. I really can't wait to see how this turns out but I'll leave a warning here, that the genres will be all over, so yes there'll be fluff, but there'll be angst days too. *Hands up in surrender* DON'T BOO ME WE ALL NEED SOME ANGST ONCE IN A WHILE.

So, without further ado, let's see what we have for day 1 shall we??

Day 1: Midnight sweetness.

Tagging: @minniesvenus

"Knock knock"

You laughed as you felt gentle knuckles rapping against your skull, the laugh drowning into a yawn soon after, as the clock struck midnight and chimed twelve times.

You'd always been a sucker for antique stuff, hence the fact that the grandfather clock in your living room which you had salvaged from a dusty antique shop, now stood in mint condition and chimed the number of hours it announced, every hour.

It really was your pride and joy.

Now, you weren't a fool. You knew why your boyfriend was suddenly waking you up even though you had only just called it a night half an hour ago. Despite the fatigue in your body, your mind knew it was your birthday.

And you knew you were about to be coddled and spoilt rotten.

You opened your eyes the tiniest fraction and closed them immediately again seeing Jungkook kneeling in front of you on the rug, a smile painting his face.

"Psst little alpaca, are you awake?" He cooed.

"Nuh uh" you grumbled.

"Ohh... Oh noo, my alpaca isn't awake so now im gonna have to eat this whole dessert by myself" he fake sniffed.

Dessert? You peeked from one eye.

Sure enough, he had a small chocolate cake on a plate in his hands and there were two scoops of ice cream on either side.

If the bittersweet smell wafting to you was anything to go by, it was coffee ice cream.

Damn. You loved these things.

"And the fact that it's a lava cake too, tsk tsk" you snapped your eyes shut again as he made a whole show of getting up, complete with a little 'aigoo' as if he was 70.

"And how will I ever eat two scoops of ice cream by my lonesome self, poor Jungkookie..." His voice held the pout on his lips.

You bit back a laugh and stirred, pretending to just have woken up and fake stretched really loudly.

"Baby... I smell cake." You put on your biggest faux puppy eyes and looked at him all confused as if you couldn't see the plate in his hands.

Jungkook's eyes widened and a slight smirk tugged his lips. He placed the plate on the bedside table and sat down in front of you,

"You little minx." He grinned and pulled you into a hug.

"Arghhh, mmmphhhh, can't breathe" you squirmed, knowing damn well both of you knew there was nowhere you'd rather be.

"Oh hushhh, here, cut it before the chocolate inside solidifies"

He pulled back and brought the plate back, holding out a butter knife.

The lights were dim, and the city which usually was still awake and thriving seemed to have quited down for this moment.

You sliced through the cake, delighted at the ooey gooey chocolate pouring out but also the stupid sound effects the man in front of you was making.

Your laugh was much louder this time, and wasn't interrupted by a yawn.

You loaded up a spoonful of delight and held it up for Jungkook to eat. He happily took the whole spoon and made a sound of delight in his throat, eyes lighting up and a happy "mmmmm" sounding in his chest.

God, he was such a baby sometimes.

And in the next moment, there was sweetness on your tongue as he'd leaned in to kiss you just as soon as he'd swallowed and his arms held you softly, the calm kiss spreading through you like the same thick chocolate you could taste on his lips, a peace settling in your heart.

It felt like you had all the time in the world. It always did kissing Jungkook.

"Happy birthday my baby" he whispered against your skin before claiming your lips again.

Happy birthday indeed.

[hats-off-to-nyx]

Dear ....

hi

The title of the playlist I sent you to catch your attention

Funny enough it did

You were nice... I guess, but made me fall for you twice as much nevertheless.

You didn't even wonder why I randomly sent it to you, only said it was cute and you'll listen to it too.

Damn, the effect you had on me was so huge. The mere fact you accepted my friend request sent butterflies bursting.

I was sick after exam week, Intramurals, PE day and some personal shit, but one interaction from you sent me smiling all week. 

Talking with you was a roller coaster ride of emotions. One time I smiled too much it’d hurt my face, one time, my frown was so visible, my face looked like it was drooping.

Sending you songs I want to recommend for the sake to keep talking to you. You recommend songs back i'd listen to it until tomorrow.

My heart raced like it was in a marathon, other times it broke like bits and pieces like scattered stars on the cosmos.

My heart swooned whenever you talk about your favorites. How you gush over things you were passionate about.

How I really wanted to escape my house at dead midnight just to come to you and comfort you in your problems you cryptically relay.

Jokes, that I sometimes took seriously, haha sorry about that.

Words you wrote and symbols you accompany drove me in a whirlwind of thoughts

Candies, laughs, and you called me "sweet soul"

You had me wrapped…

But one faithful night I accidentally confessed

I feared I might've scared you off

It wasn't what I planned, being friends with you was already fine

You said we were totally alright, that we're better off friends, I accepted that

But...

That was the end

Or

Was that the beginning I started to open my eyes...

Tiny little red flags I deliberately ignored. 

It was always me who initiated the talk. You only reply fast if the topic only interested you

You barely even recommended songs to me?

It was always me...

Did you really even listened to the songs I sent?

A tornado of anxiety came rushing in

What if you mocked how stupid I was. Sent it to friends to have them mock me with you. Laugh at how stupid and desperate I was. How pathetically bullshit I was…

But hey, maybe I'm just overthinking? You're not like that right?

Maybe you were busy. I'm sure there are times you can't reply to your friends quickly

Haha…

Here I am gaslighting myself again

Convincing myself I've never made you feel uncomfortable 

Or that you didn't long pressed my messages just because I'm a person in your life as irrelevant as the stranger you meet everyday

That you just had so much to think about 

I guess?

Well…

That was until one night, something cleared out my suspicion

It was another Intramurals at school. I wasn't a student anymore because I stopped to focus on work.

I attended because I really wanna see my friends

To see you…

It was awarding night, I saw you with your team waiting for your time to get on the stage. You were on your phone. So I decided to chat you…

"Hey **** you at school?"

Was I too desperate? I don't know…

But you never replied, even viewed my message, nothing…

I wondered if you didn't receive it, but how? You were on your phone the whole time

You only replied hours later

Haha fck that kinda hurt

Was I not even your friend?

But hey... Who am I even...

So no biggie

I only got to see you when we finally approached you... You were so nice, made me forget you ignored my message haha

But, I was constantly reminded of that, everytime

Like a a ghost

That kept on haunting me

I'm no one

Just another one of your admirers

It's funny because, you were one of the reason why Intramurals was memorable

It started with Intramurals, and I think it ended with Intramurals

So I wrote this letter to pour out my emotions. Instead, it made me realize many things

I’m merely but an annoyance for you. And I apologize for that

I know you have someone you call your “mine”

I'll stop now before I fall even deeper into the rabbit hole I dug

This is fine

Maybe it's for the best

It is for the best

So 

Consider this letter the last

Dear ....