#overlapping scenes

[craftsandkitties]

Probs the best screenshot of 2 scenes overlapping I've taken. The lost stare, the sunset windows, "I'm too lazy". It's perfect

[starberrysap]

it’s CRAZY how much they set up gay eddie in s4 with ana like he had SEVERAL panic attacks about the idea that the perfect woman (said by him) might one day be his wife and they spun it as commitment issues but he clearly had no issues committing to other things, just to dating women

[guujikaroko]

For those who were impressed with Uchida Yuuma's performance as Anaxagoras, here's a fun little treat:

As I explained in other posts, Anaxagoras speaks in keigo (敬語), the polite Japanese form that you normally use with strangers and at work and situations where you're not that close with others.

Thing is, he speaks exclusively in keigo. Not once he broke character during the entirety of his screentime, including that famous yell.

So yeah, he was essentially yelling something along the lines of "Please do not interrupt me" at the top of his lungs. Dude prizes his class.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

honestly one of the greatest crimes Dragon Age: Inquisition committed in keeping bi Solas from us is that you KNOW Gareth David-Lloyd would have put his whole pussy into voice acting for the M/M lines as much as they did the M/F. my man was NOT out here making out with John Barrowman on BBC1 primetime to get cast as straight characters in the 20teens... he was winning awards for best kiss with another man... they were sobbing into each others arms!!!!! utterly devastating loss

[ougghmysevramnce]

I edited together what the time skip from the OTC to episode 4 looked like for Helly... They got a lot to catch her up on next week 💀

[sasakisniko]

Every Charles Rowland Scene (1a/?)

[lexicorp]

Transformers Earthspark: Another Place, Another Prison

Holy shite there were so, SO many things I wanted to draw pertaining to this chapter, but drawing was being so fragging hard omg ;-; sooo this got the vibes decently enough at least hopefully llol

aaaaannnd it's a Hashtag POV chapter again! :D

She's really trying to pinpoint how the heck she feels about this junk (def difficult tryna navigate the psych issues round here), and you just might be able to guess what she lands on. Star is still not having the greatest of time, but Hashtag is here to read his aft like a book yet again. For the most part at least.

Previous Chapter: Distractions

First Chapter: The Need For Read

Next Chapter: Helm In The Cloud

Chapter 16: A Game Of Charades

Hashtag had hoped that the game night with Starscream could go better this time around. They’d had fun training together at least. They were all kinda starting to get along. Sharing music, cat videos, comics, their favorite wrestling channel–even Thrash was starting to warm up to this whole thing! Though he DID constantly try and do some silly schemes to test the sketchy seeker, the vibes weren’t malicious or anything. It was starting to feel just a bit normal again. As normal as it could be anyway. So what was the deal?

Why did Bee and Screamer have to get into some stupid fight? Now? Why was he acting all extra weird, this time?

Hashtag squinted her optics at her teacher and…potential second teacher if he stopped being dumb; while leaning her face against a servo.

“C’mon Starscream!” Bee tossed his servos in the air in exasperation at the ordeal. “You can’t hide in there just because you don’t want to lose in Uno again! It’s not THAT bad!”

Starscream was gripping the edge of the entrance to his room, and glaring like he was imagining blasting Bee’s face off. The thought made Hashtag tense. “No! That is NOT what I am afraid of you fool!” He jabbed a digit at Bee. Now…he did actually look oddly on edge come to think of it. “Enjoy your ridiculous games, and leave me out of it! Don’t try to act like my absence will be some tragedy. I’m sure all will go far smoother without–” His optics flickered with some weird mix of red and purple in them–kind of energon-ish color? That was new–and he held his head as his wings went all spazzy. 

Bee tried to reach out but was smacked away. “Dude. Look. I don’t know if you fell in love with isolating yourself after your months of alone time in the Titan, but as your redemption officer, you GOTTA get out of there.”

Starscream ignored him and disappeared deeper into his hole in the wall. Bumblebee tried to follow, and Hashtag couldn’t hear the rest of their conversation, but it only seemed to be going in circles anyway. Bee was wrong though…Starscream has hated being alone since he’d come here. The only time she’d seen him going to hide away like this was when it seemed his social battery had been depleted like Nightshade. 

Something was really off about this. Was that corruption junk just getting to him more today? What even WAS that anyway? She still hadn’t found the right chance to ask him about it! Most of her siblings have assumed he went a bit crazy from chaos magic, being by himself with corpses he convinced himself weren’t actually dead, and that was all it was. That made sense enough, but something about it still didn’t feel right.

Eventually, Bee came back looking a mix of annoyed and concerned as he took his seat next to Dad. “He won’t listen to me.”

“What a shame.” Robby said with poorly masked sarcasm, which earned him a punch in the shoulder from Mo. “What??”

“You know what.” She crossed her arms with a tip of her head back. Mo’s signature sass at their brother would be more funny if Hashtag wasn’t so anxious right now. 

Mom leaned forward and raised a hand in a signal for them to knock it off when they’d started a staring contest. “I’m sure he’s fine. We gotta allow him the freedom to choose what he wants to do. You can’t force it, Bee.”

Bee sighed with a servo over his optics. “Yeah. You’re right. It’s just kinda my job, and all.”

Dad patted his arm reassuringly. “And you’re doing great! How ‘bout we kick the night off with some charades huh? You can be on our team!”

Bee smiled. “Alright alright.”

“The party ain’t stoppin’ for any grumpy ol’ bot!” Twitch cheered in an effort to heighten the mood as she brought forth the bowl of prompts.

Yet as they started the game with Dad rapidly throwing out guesses to Bee’s word, Hashtag’s focus just kept drifting back to Starscream. Sure, they could just leave him alone, but she had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t actually what he wanted either. He always tried to play up the tough guy scrap, and she wasn’t buying it. Maybe she could try and talk to him. It was worth a shot, right?

Hashtag pulled Twitch aside and signaled for her to keep her voice down.

“What’s up sis? You doin’ alright?”

“Yeah! Totally…Um.” Hashtag fiddled with her digits as she parsed together how to go about this. “I’m just thinking about going over to check on Starscream. I don’t wanna bug Bee or Mom about it though. I think he might come out if I'm the one to talk to him. Or at least–I just don’t like not knowing what’s going on, y’know? So…can you fill the fam in after I bounce?” She gave her sister a pleading grin. She didn’t want to just announce her plan to everyone and potentially make Bee feel bad, or Mom to just deny her from doing it. 

Twitch looked back at the others before landing her rather serious gaze back into Hashtag’s optics, and flew closer to put a servo to her shoulder. “Tag, you know I trust you.” 

Hashtag cringed, “Please don’t let there be a “but” at the end of that sentence…”

Twitch snickered a bit. “Nah…I just want you to be careful. Send me a signal as soon as something wack starts going down. We don’t need that con tryna randomly use you as a hostage or something. Soooo I guess the only but would be–are you sure you don’t want me to come with you for backup?”

She thought about the offer for a moment. It would be nice to know Twitch was there to have her back. Screamer could still be pretty creepy sometimes, even if he seemed to be getting better. But if he’s already in anti-people mode right now, less people would probably be better. Plus, He always seemed to be extra…careful (?) when it came to Hashtag. Like…he felt bad about what happened. She didn’t know why he directed it more at her than her siblings, but she could still use that to her advantage. Twitch might just make things more complicated when she’d inevitably get protective, unfortunately.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be careful, I promise. I’ll text ya updates if he doesn’t immediately kick me out.” She chuckled. Hopefully that won’t happen, but even if he tried, she was determined to not be deterred so easily.

“You better! Your big sis worries you know!”

“A little bit too much sometimes,” Tag teased. 

Twitch flipped down a servo with a roll of her helm. “Pff, I worry the perfect amount. Now get on over there before I think about this too hard, and I’ll fill the fam in after Mo and Thrash finish their turn.” 

“Thanks sis.” They exchanged a thumbs up and split off to fill their prospective rolls.

Hashtag made her way over to Starscream’s room, suddenly feeling more hesitant the closer she got. The ceiling stars inside were set to night mode from the cycle Nightshade had set for them, but it gave more of a spooky sort of lighting that didn’t help. Especially when his optics and those weird sparks stuck out in the dark.

It’d be fine though, it was just Starscream. Not like he’d killed people, kidnapped dads, or anything. Besides, she knew how to get to him. She knew he wouldn’t do anything crazy. Oh Quintus, did she?! She hadn’t thought he’d do that other insane junk before either! Maybe this was a bad idea after all–no. No. It’d be fine. He’s been chill. He’s actually been kinda nice. There’s nothing to worry about!

Hashtag took a deep breath to steady herself, and knocked on the doorframe to announce herself. “Hey–”

Starscream jerked in a similar way he’d done when she first went to see him in the brig (he was even sitting on the floor for some reason), and snapped. “WHAT? Oh…Hashtag.” His wings relaxed a bit when he realized who it was, but then immediately tensed when he seemed to notice something else as well. “NOT helpful you slagging–ugh…” He muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose as he clenched his optics shut. ���You shouldn’t be here. Go back to your siblings.” That part actually seemed to be directed at her, even if he seemed to be avoiding looking in her direction now. 

Why did she keep having that feeling that he was talking to someone else?

Hashtag drifted deeper into the room towards the edge of his berth as she crossed her arms. “I think I’m good here, actually. Oooorrr, you could always come out of here with me, and do something way more fun than sitting there being weird.”

He went silent for a while. He kept being all twitchy, and when he finally opened his optics again he just stared blankly at something in the corner. When she sat down on the berth near him, Starscream skooched a bit away from her. He seemed to be having a heck of a time figuring out how to respond to that, with how hard he apparently needed to think about it. She couldn’t exactly tell if the fact that he wasn’t telling her off meant that he did in fact want her company or not. 

Hashtag had gotten better at waiting though. Even if the suspense was killing her. She wanted to ask so many questions, get to the bottom of why he was acting so funky, but she also didn’t want to overwhelm him. When she was in anxiety mode, questions were definitely the last thing she’d want, after all.

“You don’t want me there. Admit it.” Starscream finally said quietly, only barely glancing in her direction. He sounded…sad. 

“Don’t try and feed me lines Screamy, I’m the director around here,” She put a hand to her chest with dramatic flare, “and I in fact do want you there with us! Megs had his redemption arc, and I’m here for yours! We’ve been having a decent time hanging out these past couple weeks haven’t we? I will admit no such falsehoods! Even if you are still a bit of a jerk.”

Starscream dawned a somber smile. “Hah. Right…You know, you and Thundercracker would have been quite the pair to behold. He’d always adored script writing and those absurd novelas.” His wings spazzed again with a bit of lightning as he started tapping one of his digits. Something about that train of thought had his focus start to go into the abyss again. 

Hashtag leaned a bit forward as she fiddled with her own servos. “Really? Who’s that? He sounds pretty cool!” 

“Yes…” Starscream blinked after taking another long moment to elaborate. “He was Skywarp and I’s trinemate before Novastorm joined us from the Rainmakers. He was a strong, albeit sensitive, seeker. We did not always see optic to optic, but I suppose I could relent to the fact that he was certainly better at orchestrating dialogue. Even so, it was often idealistic or fantastical nonsense. Something I am sure you would’ve been enthralled by had you two been allowed such a partnership. He’d always dreamed of making something of his work after the war…” His expression had gone from detached to angry when another flit of those sparks went through him. He growled as his volume rose and his optics flashed red. “Of course, such frivolous slag could NEVER be allowed to come to fruition! Why would it?!” 

Hashtag leaned back a bit, “Did something bad happen to him? Is he stuck on Cybertron or…?”

“He’s dead.”

“Oh.”

Silence.

Man. Hashtag really did NOT have the credentials for this. Should she just focus on being all positive about it? Change the topic? Or, giving condolences was usually the right response in these scenes. 

“I-I’m sorry you lost your…” Was a trinemate kinda like family? “Brother? I would’ve loved to meet ‘im. Thundercracker sounds like he was a pretty awesome dude. Maybe I could dedicate a character to him someday! Is…that why you’re avoiding family time? It sounds like you miss him.”

“...No.”

Well that was a lie. Starscream was avoiding eye-contact again, and according to the internet, that was the biggest indicator someone’s lying. Plus, he still was all droopy like a wet cat. Maybe seeing Hashtag and her siblings hanging out together just made him feel bad about missing his own siblings. Skywarp had left him behind on that ship too after all–oh man he had fam issues. Is that what got him so upset?

But he kept tensing up like there was something else too. Now his eyes were…purple? The purple thing was DEFINITELY new. 

Oh, now they’re back to blue–scrap they went red glitchy again! Now he’s covering his audials and muttering something. What the heck!

Geez, he’s shaking really bad now. Was it something she’d said? Was this some type of anxiety episode she was supposed to snap him out of? What was the best way to do that?? When she did a quick search, it just said to be a persistent, calm force. Don’t be pushy. Ask for permission to touch them. Oh! Remind them of their surroundings! Maybe she could reference the Seekerz poster that he ripped up? Or maybe he did it for trigger reasons…so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

Hashtag slowly disconnected from the berth to kneel down next to him, but not too close. “Hey…Just focus on my voice right now, okay? I don’t know what you’re hearing right now–if it’s a flashback or something–but we’re just in the bunker. We’re chillin’ on the floor in your room, and nothing crazy is going on. We can talk about something else if you want.”

Starscream abruptly threw his arm out to aim across the room as a surge of the lightning went through it. His servo retracted to channel the sketchy power into a blaster and shot an intense laser at the wall that, once he stopped blasting it, left a huge, smoldering hole. Wheeljack’s parole thing on his ped let out an EMP burst that made him recoil in on himself again with a startled yelp. A final shot from his servo flew past Hashtag’s helm before he managed to fix it back to normal. 

“WOAH!” She dodged back in surprise at the sudden outburst.

He finally locked eyes with her again, and he looked horrified. Starscream fumbled away from her with the EMP blasted leg seeming to be offline now when he full-on fell backwards after trying to stand. “Get out.”

“What?” But she was trying to help! Why did this have to be so hard!? He obviously shouldn’t be alone right now, right?

“GET OUT!” Starscream actually aimed his gun arm at her as it was shaking and sparking wildly.

Hashtag shot up to her peds and put her servo’s up placatingly. “Hey! C’mon–” 

Twitch sent her a message that popped across her visor: [Is everything alright over there?? What was that?! Are you okay?!]

She frantically sent back a response: [I’m fine! I think- Just give me a sec!] 

“I know you don’t actually want me to leave–you’re in freakout mode, and that’s okay!” Hashtag tried to stay as still as possible and watched the blaster carefully in case he actually did shoot at her. “How about I just step out for a sec to grab a game we can play one on one or something? Y’know, get your mind off of whatever this is–do you like chess?? You seem like the kinda guy that likes chess.”

Starscream didn’t say anything else, and was just staring right through her. Creepy…He seemed to have a lot of space-out moments. Did he even hear what she said…?

Hashtag slowly began backing up towards the door. “I’ll be riiiight back. Just be cool. Okay? Yeah.” She flipped out her wheels and quickly rolled over back to her fam. 

Twitch immediately flew up to check her over, “What happened?”

Bee was up and looking in Starscream’s direction as a shot of red lighting flew out and hit their skate ramp. “What’s with THAT?? Hashtag, you shouldn’t have gone over there without someone watching your back, what if–”

“GUYS. It’s okay! I got it.” Hashtag rolled past them to look for their bigger chess set. “He’s having a bit of a moment, but he wasn’t actually trying to hurt me or anything. It’s just that corruption junk or something.”

“Sweetie,” Mom started softly but her undertone was stern, “We don’t know enough about what the stone did to him, or how unstable that power is. You CAN’T put yourself in the line of fire like that. Leave him be and join us over here.”

Bee nodded, “You should listen to your mom, Hashtag. He already told me off, it’d be best to leave it alone for now.”

 Hashtag moved aside their tic-tac-toe pieces and found the chess box. She hesitated there for a moment with her servos held firmly around its edges. Were they right? Should she just let it go? He did seem pretty upset…but that could be even more reason for her to go back in! She wasn’t afraid of him, she could handle it. He’d seemed way too freaked out about almost hitting her for him to actually want to hurt her directly. 

Twitch hovered behind her, “Tag, you gave it a shot, and I know you really want to fix it, but it isn’t your responsibility to do that alone.”

Hashtag lifted the box and turned to pass her sister on her way back towards the seeker. “I know. And I’m not alone. You guys are still right here if anything actually happens, right? I’m sorry, but I really can’t just leave it and be fine with that. I’d just be thinking about it the whole time I’d be tryna play the games with you guys, and that wouldn’t be fun…So I was thinking I could try and bring game night to him! Just us so maybe it won’t be too overwhelming, but still have something to focus on. I might not be the best at chess, but it seemed like something he’d like more than the luck based things.”

“...That makes sense.” Mo nodded with a casual show of support. “Right mom? Maybe Starscream’s just a wacky introvert.”

Mom sighed. “Fine. I’m proud of you baby, but…just be careful.” Man, everyone keeps acting like Starscream was gonna rip out her spark or something. Hashtag was supposed to be the drama queen around here.

Bee also didn’t seem too thrilled, yet still seemed to understand as he hesitantly sat back down. “Call for backup as soon as there’s more of that lighting stuff. Alright?”

Hashtag flipped out her wheels again to roll backwards and give him a short salute, “Loud and clear!”

“Text me updates!” Twitch called with an extended servo as it was definitely taking a lot for her to let Hashtag go a second time without her.

“I will!” She sang back as she slid in front of Starscream’s doorway. It was sweet how much they were concerned for her, but also a bit silly. Second chances were all about giving that person the benefit of the doubt, but she still knew how to be careful. They had nothing to worry about.

Hashtag slowly entered the room again, popping back out her peds to ready herself just in case he reactively shot her way. Starscream had his servos to his helm again, and his non-booted ped was rapidly bouncing up and down like he was itching to get up and pace. He seemed to be trying to regulate his breathing and muttering different things about the room like those grounding techniques she had shown him. Huh…he actually did keep it in mind. 

“Heyyy, it’s me again.”

His attention immediately whipped her way, but he hesitated like he was calculating what exactly he wanted to say. The fact that she could practically see the equations floating around his head, almost made her laugh. But this was definitely not the appropriate time for that, no matter how hilarious the image was.

Hashtag took the opportunity to creep up closer and sit down across from him as she set down the box. She opened it, and began setting it up with the black pieces on his side while she took white. It was not only kinda funny with the good-guy bad-guy coding, but also a sneaky way of stealing the first move. She’d need to teach him how to play anyway, so it also just made more sense that way.

Starscream was watching her every move closely. That was better than staring into the void. Then even though it really seemed like he wanted to say something–maybe apologize–he kept getting stuck somehow. 

“Okay, so, the gist of this game is that you’re trying to take out your opponent's king before they get yours. First pawn can go two spaces forward, then they can only move one, and they attack diagonally. Rooks go in any straight line until they hit something. Knights do this weird L move. Bishops go diagonally until they hit something. The Queen can basically do literally anything the other pieces can. And the king can move any direction one space.” Hashtag picked up each piece to give a short display of their moves. “He’s more of the damsel in distress with his absolute unit of a kick butt queen! Then, if you completely lock someone in a death grip where there’s no way they can save their king, you call out Checkmate. There’s a bunch of gambits and stuff, but this is more of Nightshade and Twitch’s sort of game honestly. I like to play more casually than worrying about doing a research project for it. I already had to help Twitch with that once when she got WAY too into it. Then Nightshade just always wins. So I’m good at taking the loss if it’ll make you feel better.”

“You shouldn’t be concerned about “making me feel better”, Hashtag.” He finally said something. Starscream was looking down at the board as he took in the rules she’d just thrown at him. No more weird lightning. That was good.

“Well, deal with it.” She retorted casually as she shoved the empty box out of their way. “I know you wanna push everyone away and stuff ‘cause you think everyone’s gonna leave you first, but there will be none of that on my watch! Not everyone sucks, and you can figure out how to not suck too.”

“Hm. Fair enough.”

Hashtag moved her first pawn, “Your turn.”

He actually moved his knight first. Nightshade did that sometimes. She always thought that moving one of the middle pawns was better though. But maybe she was just biased.

They continued though the game silently for a while, then Hashtag got a ping from Twitch. 

[You doing alright? How’s the game going?]

[Yeah we’re chill. I have no idea who’s winning rn lol. Wbu guys?]

[Bee, Dad and Mom are about to destroy us in Pictionary. Apparently they got adult sync mode on or something.]

[Looolll I don’t think that’s a thing. It’s probs mainly cuz Dad is so Bee obsessed that he has like, a plus five mod to his perception on anything Bee related.]

[That’s so unfair.]

“Fullstasis.” Starscream’s monotonous delivery snapped her from her visor conversation. 

“What?”

“Checkmate. Whatever it is. Your…king, is cornered. On one side by this bishop, and the other by the rook behind your knight.”

She stared blankly at the board, “Aw dang it! How’d I not see that?!”

“You were distracted. Plus, I baited you to take my queen, which left you exposed.”

“What the heck man. Aaalllright fine, I’ll reset the board.”

[I’ll ttyl, he already checkmated me somehow, you tellin me about unfair]

[lol, maybe he cheated when you weren’t looking.]

Hashtag rolled her eyes and minimized her chat bubble. She would have noticed him cheating. Maybe…No, she definitely would have. She hadn’t been THAT distracted.

Once the pieces were back in their original places, she moved the same pawn she did the first time. It might seem silly, but unleashing the queen from her pawn-y prison always took priority in Hashtag’s book. Besides, that pawn was obviously the main character, destined to reach the other side on their mission to be the queen's successor should she fall in battle for her king. A thrilling narrative could easily take the bored out of any board game.

Alas, as soon as the brave pawn reached their goal and was set to avenge the queen’s untimely demise, they were struck down by the dark king’s cursed knight. She made their death scene as dramatic as possible, of course. Lifting them up and down from their final square as they reached for the heavens.

“This will not be the last you see of ME! I will rise again as many times as it takes to defeat you, not even death will keep me from taking my revenge!”

Starscream chuckled, “Oh, I am counting on it.”

“Pff, you’ve had better monologues than that.” Hashtag placed the briefly royal pawn to the side, and moved her rook to take his bishop.

“Please. I wasn’t even attempting to supply one. Couldn’t such a rivalry between your odd characters be far more interesting if neither truly wanted it to end?” He took her rook with a pawn. Worth it. That bishop was being far too shady.

She shrugged as she moved another one of her own pawns in an effort to defend. “I guess so. But it’d have to end at some point, no story can go on forever. Ooo, maybe it’d be an enemies to lovers arc!”

“Eugh. No.” He moved his knight to some really weird spot that didn’t seem like it was going to do anything.

“It’d be glorious! It’s like the soulmate trope, where they’re destined to meet and stuff, but instead they’re locked in a reincarnation loop! They’re bound to get over whatever got them mad at each other eventually.” She swooped down her bishop in a position ready to take down his king. 

He immediately canceled her plot with some stupid rook from the other side of the board. “That’s absurd.”

“Okay, fun police. Fantasy doesn’t have to be realistic, Screamy.” Hashtag kicked over his rook with her knight. 

Starscream stared at the board for a long time, before finally moving his queen in range of her king and announcing, “Checkmate.” Again.

“You are way too good at this game for being a noob.”

“Its base principals are actually quite similar to Fullstasis. Skyfire and I used to play any chance we could.” He actually began resetting the pieces himself this time. “So I suppose I am not as inexperienced as you first thought. Surely you have merely been holding back on me.”

“Yeeaaah, tooootally! I’m DEFINITELY going to get you this round, just you watch me!” She was so going to lose. Hashtag had thought that she’d at least be on a more even playing field since it was his first time, but of course he just had to have Cybertronian chess stuff with whoever Skyfire was. They were probably a Decepticon and they played it for war strategies, or something stupidly serious like that with how much of a stiff he was.

The next game went on ridiculously similar to the last two, and it looked like it was going to end the same way. Until Starscream suddenly said she won. That his king was doomed and he was no match for her full power. That didn’t make any sense. How did he notice she won before she did? That wasn’t how it was supposed to work! Did he…LET her win? Usually he hated losing. 

Hashtag confidently accepted his proclamation of her awesomeness. She wasn’t going to call him out on it. Yet it was adorable to think how much of a softy the Decepticon actually was.

A bunch more games passed by with a few close-ish ones, him destroying her, then letting her win others. When suddenly, all the squares aligned as she called out checkmate, and he looked surprised. He actually stared at the board with what looked to be unadulterated disbelief this time, and she started to get worried that he was about to get mad and flip the board or something. But then he laughed, and congratulated her in a far more genuine way than his theatrical applause from before. Like he was proud of her. Wow.

He really was just a big ball of mush under all that ridiculous, evil mastermind scrap after all.

[wordsofwilderness]

Oh pre-relationship Jegulus how I love u

Narrowing his eyes, Regulus scoffed, “You.” “Me,” James said. The grin on his face made his cheeks hurt, but he couldn’t hold it back even if he tried.

[mooroficirrus]

hey my copy of tpot15 looks weird

[inseparabiles]

I know damn well when Geta threw his drink in Caracalla’s face it felt like a hard slap. He has the hands of a parent that would use a slipper to discipline. Especially when their parents came from Libya and Syria. That stuff runs in the family.

Sorry this is going to be a 50 000 word essay and also a biography about me the author but

I genuinely don't think he intended to throw it at Caracalla at all, I think it is meant for Dondus, the issue with this situation being that Dondus is seated on Caracalla's shoulder and therefore throwing a drink at Dondus means throwing it at Caracalla.

It's obviously because of Caracalla - Geta snaps when, despite holding his shit together at the brink of a full-blown spiral and trying to both manage the situation and calm his brother who really isn't helping, Caracalla outright lays the blame on him for what's happening. As if Caracalla hadn't made the same choice that Geta ultimately committed to (thanks to Macrinus) and enjoyed it to the full, but Caracalla can never do a thing wrong, and if something does go wrong, that's Geta's fault. Geta's supposed to keep them safe and make things go smoothly and protect them, and Geta's clearly failed to do that, and now they're facing an actual uprising on the streets that's directly threatening their lives.

I don't know if this scene is relatable to people who don't have sensory processing issues and this is always as embarrassing to admit to, but I've unfortunately been Geta approximately 10 000 times in my life. Three or more things are happening at once: an immediate stressful overarching situation, somebody yapping shit in my ear, and then add in an extra like maybe there's 15 discord notifications back to back or my cat starts meowing because he hears people talking and wants food and comes bump his stupid face to my leg repeatedly. I've thrown things. I've ran (blind, not comprehending what the shit is even happening) to hide under desks. I've slammed doors, I've had idiotic meltdowns that start with an attempt at shouting but are incomprehensible because my mouth refuses to form words and my brain stopped working. I'm prone to these because I'm autistic and I don't really... have good coping mechanisms for my meltdowns? But anyone can hit a wall with processing, and these situations trigger fight/flight/freeze like nothing else. It's basically one of the few things that actually does get fight out of me - I mostly freeze under most stressors, but fuck me if there's noise and stress and some kind of sensation at the same time, and unoptimal circumstances like bright lights or music blaring in the background, I black the fuck out and whatever the shit happens next is the same thing that people do when faced with acute danger like something falling onto them or grabbing them from behind or coming at them with a weapon drawn. The best I can do, which is pretty much what Geta is also doing, is focus my control on minimising damage because the last remaining shreds of my sanity are FULLY AWARE I'm about to exert force well beyond reasonable reaction: don't throw the fucking glass, throw the wine in it. For me, this has meant throwing the nearest object away from my target rather than at the target, or choosing to hurt myself instead of whatever the fuck is the primary threat present, or any other nonsensical and unoptimal last-minute 180 from the reaction that is inevitably coming whether I stand by it or not.

So in this scene - processing the situation beyond locating the immediate threat (Dondus chirping alarmedly while Geta's trying to handle these 15 other stressors and now his fucking twin is being UNBEARABLE) and trying to resort to non-lethal force (wine not glass) is just about the best I could ask of Geta. I've been there SO many times and this is the saddest handshake I have with him the whole movie because it's like... yeah, me too. And before this scene, I didn't realise how foreign this is to most people. Now I'm just surprised it's in the movie. So many people have somehow gone through their whole lives without entering a primal survival state once and like. Wow. Incomprehensible to me

Geta freezing in response to his reaction is also extremely familiar to me. 18 years ago, I had one of these situations happen under unbearable circumstances - I was told I was going to be locked away in a group home against my consent for a full year, when I'd barely made it through two months in there. I don't remember what triggered the actual reaction then, but as per usual, it was something to do with my mum not knowing when to step away to let me equalise on my own, probably because I was very much perceived to be a threat to myself in that state but nevertheless not allowed the means to stabilise from that, so I threw my comfort object at a wall. It's been 18 years and I still remember the abject horror I felt immediately when it hit, because that portable CD player was my lifeline. It was literally in that situation what was keeping my shattered sanity together and I fucking. I nuked it. It was what I happened to be holding so I threw it at a wall as hard as I could because that was my 180 from doing whatever it had been that was the worse out of the options. It wasn't intentional. I regretted it right away. I wanted to take it back. It made my life infinitely worse. I felt like I'd killed my only friend. But you can't take that back and just like I couldn't un-nuke my CD player, Geta can't just unthrow the wine at Caracalla, or Dondus for that matter.

But the situation that Geta creates by having that reaction, which I fully don't believe he had any real control over at that moment, has life-altering consequences even though the harm it caused was minimal. It would have been bad enough if he'd just hit Dondus, because Dondus seems to be some kind of a proxy for Caracalla's... everything: he doesn't seem to really process Dondus as an external being or a monkey for that matter, but a side of himself, all the good in him that must be protected, the child that he was that couldn't be saved, that he's stored in this animal who reminds him of it in an idealised and comprehensible manner and that is under his control and that he can show unconditional love to because Dondus is unconditional to him.

(As a side, I can't help but think about how utterly it would have broken Caracalla's remaining humanity to live long enough for Dondus to grow up. Dondus is a baby; as babies, monkeys are like innocent children. As teenagers, they get testy the exact same way people get, they test their boundaries and they get bored, but because they're not people, they can't be reasoned with. Caracalla is not a zookeeper or any kind of an animal scientist, and nobody in ancient Rome understood an animal's recreational and enrichment needs. Dondus would have become an unmanageable monster to him very quickly in the conditions that he's kept in, and this perceived abandonment and betrayal would have destroyed Caracalla in ways that honestly terrify me. But I digress. Severely.)

Just as Macrinus gets through to Caracalla by presenting imaginary threats to Dondus, Geta has already done something which has destroyed the trust between them by directly attacking Dondus specifically. It doesn't matter if the wine hit Dondus or Caracalla or if they'd been on the different sides of the room and Geta had cast the wine at one of them only, it would have hit both. And I think Geta knows this.

With that out of the way? You're also not wrong. This scene is so much about their father and their childhood, and I (SCREECHING BECAUSE I HAVE NO WORDS STRONG ENOUGH TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I) hate the fact that in the final cut, the thread that brings this together is cut, which is Geta's recalling of how he would put himself between their father's rages and Caracalla and endure the beatings for him. The reason Caracalla can be as bratty and insufferable with Geta is because they had that trust. Because Geta would not hurt him, or retaliate. Except that he does, suddenly. To Caracalla, who enters a regressive dissociative state from the trigger, Geta has just shown that he is not his protector - he's a threat, he is their father, he is capable and willing to resort to physical violence to regain control, and he will punish Caracalla specifically for either his insolence and disobedience or for his own mistakes. Geta has broken his own promise of always being Caracalla's safety; another reason why Macrinus is so successful in convincing Caracalla that Geta intends to blame him for everything that happened, even though Geta showed no real intent to do anything like it.

Meanwhile, Geta himself is recognising that he is his father's son, after all. He is, suddenly, in his own body, the man who broke them. He is very much now, in the midst of everything else, trying to come to terms with his own capacity for violent retribution - and just as Caracalla, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he did resort to violence against him, even if he didn't intend to. Is that how it felt like for their father? Is he no better than him? And why, why did it feel the way that it did?

And, maybe, also why he even bothers. Would it not be easier this way? Caracalla's not getting better. He's just getting worse no matter what Geta does, no matter what he sacrifices, no matter how much he endures. He can't control Caracalla any more than he can control Rome, not through the means that he's been applying. Not through love, not through gentleness. Is it worth it? Would he not do better on his own? Would it not resolve this, if...?

I don't at any point believe that Geta actually wants to harm his brother. But I fully believe that being the sole support network and full-time caretaker to the only person you love and who loves you in return in life, who is chronically and terminally ill, is a job that no emperor should be tasked with alone while he's also trying to navigate ruling a goddamn fucking empire. This happens to people all of the time in real life: a loved one gets sick, so you become their caretaker. You get no sufficient support from your circumstances and burn out, and your love becomes resentment, your affection hate, your patience a readiness to lash out because you are at your wit's end and there's nothing left to give in there. People, real people, spouses and daughters and sons and sisters and brothers end up horribly abusing the vulnerable person they used to love and still do love more than anything and whom they wanted to care for because it's too much and there's no end and it is hour in and hour out dedication to someone who no longer shows you the tiniest bit of gratitude. Someone whose mind's gone, or who is always angry at you because of their own pain, and you don't even fucking remember what you loved them for anymore. You just wish they were dead already. Wish it was over. Wish it stopped. Not because you hate them, but because it's unbearable, and you're only one person.

No one else is helping Geta with Caracalla. Nobody else can even touch him. Without prompting, Geta tells that to Macrinus; "every day it gets worse."

And, at the end of the day, they are their father's sons. Both of them are. Both of them have been taught that violence is a conflict resolution. That violence is the means of regaining control over any situation: on the global stage, but also privately. The only love and gentleness they ever learned was with each other, and nothing reinforced this. In this moment, they must both be questioning whether it was ever real to begin with, or if they were just playing a game that has now ended.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

If what they say about lack of sleep is true I am absolutely going to die bloody early with the state my sleep schedule is in.

[rochenn]

I'm sure ppl on this site have written essays both in support of and in opposition to this take but Anakin and Vader simply aren't the same guy to me. It doesn't compute. Vader has the air and diction of an eternal 60yo who went to West Point and sometimes voices lukewarm regret about all the air strikes he called on civilian centers 20 years ago. How did he get there??

If Disney loves capitalizing on those actors so much why don't they call in Ian and Hayden for a little show/movie where Vader goes from barely-adult mess with questionable rhetorical skills to measured legend with a somehow flawless transatlantic accent? Hello?

[stonedeadforever]

Had a conversation with a non punk a few days ago, the conversation turned towards punk. This guy weas telling me how he read a book about music and how he wanted to throw the book at a wall because it described punk as a music genre. He was adoment about punk being a political stance and not a music subculture. That politics came first and music was much less of a part of it. I tried to not go too hard on him since he was such a sweetheart but holy shit tiktok and it’s consequences

[myokk]

Eloise is really, really bad at chess😐

(this is a scene from my fic & I typed it up here:)

"Milady, you cannot send him there! He will surely die a terrible death, and Murdoch is our finest knight!"

Eloise blinked her bleary eyes at the wizarding chess board, not really comprehending what the tiny pieces were yelling at her. The one that seemed to be doing the most talking was gesticulating wildly and jumping up and down, trying to get her attention. When she had taken the pieces out of the box Sebastian had lent her, they had immediately recognized her and started protesting, appealing to 'their benevolent lord's innate sense of goodness', but their protests fell on deaf ears. Eloise was positive that Sebastian took some sort of perverse pleasure at watching her lose at chess.

In the background, she could hear Ominis's laughter echoing through the Undercroft. His own pieces were quite happy at the moment, preening and occasionally sending rude gestures towards Eloise's, much to Sebastian's amusement. He was narrating their every action to Ominis, whose laughter was egging on his soldiers even more.

"Eloise," Sebastian said, propping his chin up by one hand (entirely too amused, infuriatingly so, why did he have to look so handsome when she was trying to be annoyed at him?), "maybe you should move the knight..." his other hand pointed to an empty space on the board, "...here."

This declaration caused an uproar. There were shouts of betrayal, tiny pieces gesticulating wildly to the carnage surrounding the board as they shouted in vain. She didn't see any other viable moves, so Eloise sighed and ordered the brave little Murdoch to where Sebastian had suggested. Chaos immediately ensued and Ominis's queen gleefully knocked his head off with a violent swing of her scepter. Eloise's pawns all doubled over, sobbing as their most valient knight fell, and her remaining bishop shook his tiny fist in outrage up at her.

After a few more minutes, much to Eloise's ashamed relief and the boys' disappointment, her pieces refused to move for either her or Sebastian. They solemnly collected the remains of their fallen comrades with as much dignity as they could muster and marched off the board and back into their box in a mourning parade of sorts.

Sebastian joined Ominis's pieces as they jeered the losing team off the board, causing Eloise to glare fiercely at him. "You were the one telling me what to do, and they're your pieces! Show some loyalty."

He shrunk away from the intensity of her gaze and held up his hands in protest. "I was suggesting the moves as a joke! After last week's fiasco, I didn't think you'd fall for it again."

Ominis was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath, and the two of them turned to watch him. Even through her irritation, Eloise couldn't help but smile at him - he was always so solemn and these bouts of mirth were few and far between. He managed to speak between bouts of laughter. "I...I couldn't...I couldn't believe it when you sent your bishops one by one into my trap! It was so obvious! And then...and then you..." Ominis dissolved into fits of laughter again and couldn't finish.

Eloise turned her angry glare to him. "We can't all be chess geniuses!"

"I've tried teaching you and you don't listen! For the next time, I'm only going to give you one piece of advice: don't listen to Sebastian." He chuckled once more to himself and then turned slightly to the board, addressing his men (and queen) and giving them a debriefing. He always did this after he won the matches; it was a strange sort of ritual that he seemed to look forward to.

[crimmson-sight]

"I'm Argentinian. Tango and football are compulsory." "Of course, yeah. You dance with someone?" "One might look rather foolish dancing alone." The Two Popes (2019)

[mithrandirl]