#<- bc of course there is overlap
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Oh pre-relationship Jegulus how I love u
Narrowing his eyes, Regulus scoffed, “You.” “Me,” James said. The grin on his face made his cheeks hurt, but he couldn’t hold it back even if he tried.
#fic: silver secrets#currently vibrating crying twirling my hair over the scene I'm gonna write#it will be 95% bickering 20% flirting#<- bc of course there is overlap#jegulus#james potter#regulus black#marauders
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normal fan activities like going to all the regions in DAI and listening very carefully to see if any cicadas made it into the soundscape so i can decide whether or not they exist in thedas/if i want to use them in this fic
#probably i should just pick a different and more common bug#surly antiva has dragonflies#butterflies and bees and etc are out bc i need it to Molt in a nice obvious way#anyway i sure did google ‘dragon age bugs’ and guess how far that got me. sigh. researching with Insect#ramblings#my writing#jades ecological compendium#i mean i can do anything i want of course i just think there’s something to#some sort of ecological consistency. imagine a blight overlapping with a periodic cicada cycle man that’d suck#thedas ecology
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silly viera wol alt go brrr
#it's my birthday-week so I get to draw whatever silly thing I please#so fav wol alt it is#my fluffy viera boi milou#he's just a silly guy lol#sketchy lazy messiness galore yay#composition is literal ass but I didn't wanna make it bigger than I had to so rotating and overlapping it is wooh#consistency is overrated and so are accurate ears#also his eyebrows while still striking are not nearly as magnificent as this ingame which is a shame but ig it'd be hard to make work#in the animu style on a bunboi so fair enough#also the fluffy hair square really need to figure out how to make curly hair work like yesterday and not just the wavy stuff like pls#honestly he looks kinda just like the most basic of bunguys ingame but it's fine I know in my heart what his vibes really are#which is just a silly guy doing his best given the situation he's in with all the responsibility of world saving thrust upon him#as it is with most wol's really I'm sure ha#also he sounds like corpse bc of course he does bc vibes lmao#anyways enough ranting enjoy or don't it's whatever#I sure will and that's enough at the end of the day in this case specifically lmaooo#ffxiv viera#wol#just viera things#I draw what I want#now off to hopefully be more productive artwise this year fingers crossed yeehaw
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one day i'll post my fic and you can finally witness this monster of a playlist that fuels my insanity
#but for now. i write notes about electrical service box grounding (suffering)#im literally motivated to get Ahead with my courseload so i can write + draw im going insane not being able to do anything creatively#it was a mistake signing on for 5 self-driven courses in a semester btw. just in case anyone was wondering.#if youre considering it that's the devil speaking#or your business partner who wants you to be able to work sooner i suppose#anyway the dennis playlist i have posted in the past is a decoy this is the real one#i refuse to have overlap and i prioritize this one lol#i have a super secret charden playlist that i can't have overlap with too but thats not important.#i dont think anybody will see That one....... its for me........#north dakota fic playlist is crazy because i'm like holy shit this song is perfect what the hell (wrote the fic)#my brain and music have a symbiotic relationship in that i am inspired by songs and then the direction the fic takes also opens up new musi#considering a minor rewrite bc i like the picture painted by a song if i match up with lyrics#also lowkey highkey how vicky works as well i iron out details while sorting thru music#it usually helps to inspire me and broaden my ambitions a little more than i would normally go for#i think north dakota fic has spun into this big web rather than this very focused thesis Because i've got songs about multiple relationship#ie. thinking about mandy and dennis' arrangement. boundaries and feelings (not romantic or sexual. something else.)#it's precisely because of their history that dennis is distant and gives her more space than is necessary in every possible way#it's not out of respect for her or this odd sort of truce they have for their kid's sake#it's like. if i let you any closer i'm going to run. but god do i wish i could. when you Already know so much. it'd be so easy.#dennis enjoys domesticity. so he can't enjoy anything about being here. he's punishing himself and he's here for his son Only#sleeping on the couch or in a hotel instead of in the bedroom because he could get comfortable sleeping with mandy#they cant afford a bigger apartment and she's fine with it. he knows this. but Fuck No.#dennis' weakness... sleeping With someone. (no i will Never stop thinking about maureen spooning him in the 6x02 script. fucking lorddd)#he craves casual intimacy with her in the same way he craves it with mac. and he could. but she knows him. (he could Let her know him.)#and she sees this in him and Offers freely. offers him help. offers the bare minimum. and he can't have that. it's compassion. it's pity.#it's her seeing someone who is desperate to break open the shell that encases him but knowing it'd do horrible things if she did it for him#it's not even a matter of pride. it's about relinquishing control. he's So out of his element and has no hope of finding a foothold here#this is a charden fic btw. this is a charden fic where mandy is his partner. in this bizarre queerplatonic lavender marriage ass way#she's literally just his friend. dennis doesn't have any of those.#i thoroughly enjoy like. the contrast of her to mac and charlie and also the simple fact that dennis is insane
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IM FREE FROM ASSIGNMENTS FOR THE REST OF 2024
#sophie’s idle chatter#haha lmao i submitted it at 5:30 am and its nearly 6 am now haha#we love pulling all nighters haha 😩#but man when i tell u i nearly cried seeing the 40% similarity only to then realise it was literally just the references and the#case study we were using bc basically all the ppl in my course used the same one so ofc there would be overlaps in the system 😭#but anyway its done now and its nearly 6 am and i should get some sleep… more like a nap…#BUT !!!! now that im done i will work on the soulmate blade fic…. he has to get out of the wips………
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saw a post on here a while ago that was like “calling your favorite fictional guy ‘prince’ doesn’t hit the same as ‘princess’”
not to be a huge asshole but there is a reason for that 😭 guess what word I’m thinking of. M-
#this is why I’ve Vaguely Alluded in recent months to not loving standard bottom!sam and girl sam fan engagement#like some of you guys are pissing me off almost as much as the bottom/dean fans do#the difference of course is in their respective places in the narrative#and just how much you can do with sam’s characterization if you are taking tgirl sam seriously#as opposed to exclusively dabbling in aesthetics 😩#I get really upset abt this sometimes but then I feel bad for getting upset bc technically this niche overlaps with#whatever the fuck my niche is
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The funny thing about getting into danganronpa about ten years later and on the recommendation of a friend and already pretty familiar with ikuhara animes is that I missed all of the "cringe" reputation of the game and instead it really just comes off as societal and ideological commentary but with a really wacky ridiculous setup
#Especially game 2. And especially komaeda. He would be right at home in an ikuhara anime#But yeah ikuhara animes are kinda just as nonsensical at times. Like the climax of the utena movie and penguindrum? Theres a reason#'im a car now too' is a meme and its not bc its an impactful line lskdjflskd#Ikuhara's works. Or at least the ones ive seen. Tend to more explore ideas of love and self and selflessness#So hope and despair truly isn't that off. They're ideas that overlap a lot#Esp when komaeda kinda bridges that theme of hope/despair into selfish/selfless love#......he bridges hope/despair into a lot of things imo but thats a meta for another day if I ever get to it#But also like ikuhara animes dr really ends on a strong message of optimism despite merely being one person or a few people#Who cant save or change the whole world. But you can change yourself and save a few people#And that's just as important if not more#God I need to make a proper post at some point comparing dr 1 and 2 bc genuinely I love how the solution for dr1 doesn't#Work for the characters of dr 2 bc theyre such different people in such different situations#But at the same time both groups find their own hope#I just love these students a lot.......#This isnt to say the writing is perfect of course just that the over all ideas far outweight the writing misteps for me#dr talk
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jaiden, molly, maitiú :)
#ive been working on a scene that features molly and thought i should draw her#she’s also been around for like. 10 years. she is newer than both of the boys. but well. doesnt matter much when theyre all a decade old#my oc creation went jaiden’s sister [redacted] -> maitiú -> jaiden -> kae -> molly -> donovan -> zara -> tonia -> lena -> gabi -> vasko ->#ivor -> …..? idk everyone else. lol.#but withhh my ocs there’s like. maitiú’s circle (zara tonia lena gabi vasko) and jaiden’s circle (kae molly donovan ivor) with overlaps in#various spots bc well. they all know each other#but like molly is friends w tonia and lena#as are donovan and ivor#and kae has been absorbed into gabi and vasko’s bff. duo. now trio.#ivor & vasko are brothers. which is fun (ivor & jaiden= friends! vasko and jaiden= not friends)#and of course maitiú and jaiden are close. lol.#kae and zara are also fairly close. maitiú is friendly w kae but they don’t. hang out one on one like maitiú does w his other friends#<- if you read all that here’s a cookie 🍪
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She is in gay spirits and full of life and cheerfulness. All the morbid reticence seems to have passed from her, and she has just reminded me, as if I needed any reminding, of that night, and that it was here, on this very seat, I found her asleep.
Yesterday, Dracula's boxes were delivered at last to his Carfax estate in London. Presumably, the Count went along with them. That was his plan from the first, after all.
Today, for the first time, Lucy talks about what happened to her. And not in a single thoughtful murmur to herself while possibly in a trance/flashback... she brings it up to Mina. The way she does so seems like she's trying to make light of a very frightening experience, but she's able to give details when asked. She is willing to talk further despite being disturbed by the memories. The morning after Dracula leaves, while sitting over the spot where he once
It's almost as though, with the Count gone, Lucy is released from some kind of magical compulsion to be silent.
#dracula daily#lucy westenra#not one i think she'd be fully aware of as dictated by something other than herself#more like she felt strongly that she couldn't speak about it. couldn't show anyone her neck. etc#like. there are overlapping reasons too of course. fear of scandal. trauma. seeing mina felt guilty. severe blood loss even.#i just feel like dracula is also a reason. one that makes all those others feel stronger bc it is an instinctive need to hide the truth
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^o^ I’m so excited you are back
I was the previous anon + sent you the archeology meme, I think you’re really cool. Are you studying paleoanthropology specifically? The way you write the quiet yearning and over analyzing every small thing whenever Ripley is around shdjdkfkcjb yes but then also being so unsure about reading into it too much. But also the jaw clench of both trying to talk about suspicions through gritted teeth. And the way you capture atmosphere, you do a great job. I keep coming back to read the 3 chapters you’ve posted. Can’t wait for another update!
ohhh omg hi hello!! <3
Thanks so much for your interest in my writing and studies!! I am in a graduate program that broadly studies different aspects of human evolution. I have peers who are primatologists, evolutionary geneticists, paleoanthropologists, etc. I'm actually a Paleolithic Archaeologist and am specializing in Oldowan stone tools. My undergrad degree is in anthropology, where I specialized in archaeology. I worked as a field archaeologist for a university for a few years before pursuing grad school!
you are so kind !! ghdhdshgd I don't feel super cool, but my DMs and ask box are open any time !!
#whoaaa like tysm this is so nice and inspiring#I need more alien pals for sure#sarah answers asks!!#i’m like kind of a paleoanthropologist too just bc of how many of our courses overlap? but just not my technical title
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baru cormorant seems to me to be a series that suffers miserably for me having read machineries of empire first. unfortunately everything BC is doing strikes me as something MoE did better and more believably and with much a greater and more grounded eye for how systems, complex system interaction, and oppression like. work
#red rambles#also i don't like the writing very much so I'm not having as much fun with it as i did with MoE#but YHL straight up writes with the exact approach and methodology *i* write - the narrative frame is extremely close. the lines are punchy#the description is sparse the info we are delivered is typically in short wacky one-off chunks that tell us not only something about the#world but something about the narrator who is also the main character whose head we're in#the timing. so on and so forth#someone told me that seth dickinson is transfem but i cant find her (?) pronouns anywhere so if anyone knows where to see them i'd#appreciate a link if only to complain that i don't like her (?) writing that much in comparison because it is a lot less.... rewardingly#entertaining i suppose. when compared to the way yoon ha lee structures his. there are much fewer twists#and of course the major huge twist of Baru Cormorant was hidden from the reader which i just think is *bad form* when it comes to intrigue!#when yhl will lay all the moving pieces of the plot before you openly and say 'hey. isn't that a funny side tangent. anyway look to your#left; something is exploding' and then as it keeps unfolding he goes 'and here in small scale is how it is being used! isn't that#interesting to see how these pieces move? now look to your right; something is exploding' and then at the very end it all comes perfectly#together#the way i felt around the middle/end of Raven Strategem when i understood the spy network the first time is something that BC cannot do#you aren't trusted with the pieces and you don't get to play the game of understanding that you weren't *told* literally everything#i'm reading monster baru cormorant today as i go about my errands and I kinda don't think it's what i want because i want it to be the kind#of working awful poisoned bloodstained empire as the hexarchate and i want it to be a complex contradictory overlapping system like the#hexarchate's army and i want the banal cruelty of perfectly decent people condemning strangers to awful awful bloody deaths because they're#'not like us' instead of the petrified horror *everyone* has of the Social Contagion Agents because i just do not BUY the construction of#dickinson's Social Hygiene Offices and their place in the world#but i cant just read the MoE books any more. i'll get bored. i'm already kind of bored of reading them over and over
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next week we're going into the peak of our conference season (starting on wednesday we'll have 6 conferences in 11 days) and our department's website decided to act up this week so we have to use workarounds for everything and still the most cosmically unfair part to me is that satisfactory 1.0 launches the day before everything gets the most busy which means i absolutely cannot play it for the next two weeks or i will be exhausted and get zero work done
#i was watching the final update/1.0 teaser over lunch today and it looks so good :(#but i know myself. i will stay up stupid late to play it and i'll just be even more exhausted during this hell week (hell fortnight)#at the end of that though i'll be owed two days off (bc i'm working two saturdays) and THEN i can go ham#i am trying to relax this weekend and not think about next week. it'll be fine. there's a lot of stuff happening but it's all workable.#i'm trying not to think of it as 11 days because the first week is the hardest part and the second week will be longer but simpler#and we do have the sunday off in the middle. last year it was actually 11 straight days#we have to find a way to not do this next year though. i feel like for two years we've been like 'this is terrible and we shouldn't allow#conferences to happen on the same day as much as we can' but then when course directors come to us with overlapping dates we never push bac#people come to us late but with plans and our dept heads don't want to say no so we just schedule them anyway#i get that it's revenue for us. we can't just say no completely. but i think we can definitely push harder on the scheduling front#anyway. it's 5:30 i'm going to stop talking about work#j rambles
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i get the feeling that sewing is much harder than knitting in the sense that sewing instructions seem fairly simple but then there's 83429 things that can and will go wrong, meanwhile knitting seems completely incomprehensible wizardry at first but you just gotta start and then keep going and you'll eventually get there
i also know this is a distorted vision of both crafts because i am a total beginner at sewing, and if i force myself to remember, i'll realize that my very first knitting projects sucked major ass too and im just somehow expecting to be excellent at sewing even though im only starting
#turbotxt#turbosew#i sewed an invisible zipper with no zipper attachment#just the regular one#and of course it looks really wonky#i had to do it twice too bc the first time i was so worried abt the zipper not being invisible enough#that the fabric was overlapping from both sides of it and it just wouldnt zip at all#this probably doesnt make any sense#anyway#sewing is so much more fun than knitting im not feeling very motivated to finish my cardigannnnn#and i fuckign must#bc the yarn was expensive as hell
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international eroica fans are some of the most ungrateful fans of anything i have ever encountered i stg
#i swear to god the amount of unnecessary complaint... got an official english translation of the manga#people complain about that. gets cancelled. like the fucking audacity first of all like.#oh yes your translation that puts slurs where they just aren't in the original is much better.#not that the cmx version is much better for that but. the original fan translation (NOT referring to the current tl done by the active team)#is truly just not good in spots i cannot believe there are people who are like “it's superior” like frankly up until recently#nothing we had was high quality LMFAO we have been struggle bus city since the beginning but at least cmx EXISTED. at least it HAPPENED.#and now people are complaining about the stage which like don't even get me fucking started on how bad that pisses me the fuck off#like tell me you know fucking nothing about 2.5d without telling me. truly what are your complaints besides you don't like how it looks.#have you watched any other 2.5d stage. and i mean 2.5D!!!! NOT just any Japanese theatre production that shit is DIFFERENT.#2.5d is an entirely separate entity and always has been#there's overlap with other things but it still exists within its own category. don't complain if you don't fucking understand how it works#2.5d stages always start off with lower budget. literally 90% of stages in that category have a first stage that just looks not great lmao#the budget is very dependent on fan support. if you want more and you want it to look better you support it.#japanese theatre doesn't HAVE that massive budget that western productions has so any time your fave thing gets a stage#you either feel blessed and appreciate it or you don't watch period lmao it's just etiquette. entitled to your own opinions of course but#i wish people knew the culture surrounding the stages and how they work before they complain and complain and complain#エロイカステ (don't want it to pop up in the actual tag sorry) had an insanely short run as well#which reads very much test run in terms of 2.5d. testing the waters i mean to see if there was interest. which there WAS#just not from fucking foreign fans besides a few bc HALF OF THEM JUST BITCH AND WHINE#sorry for massive tag ramble but i have such a soft spot for this stage and 2.5d in general and i hate to see ppl being bitchy abt it#if people complain too loudly and they never do another one i promise ill never forgive anyone i stg#if anyone is actually reading this and wants to pick my brain for further elaboration please feel free my ask box is open but. anyways.
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Every summer I feel like i've grown a lot and I'll do better this time around but then the Autumn hits and the specific way it makes me feel has changed and grown and compounded too and now like every year im sitting here with so much homework feeling so lost and uncertain. And I want to make cookies
#GIRL .. GET A CLUE. Every year#Last year i remeber feeling at first that the autumn madness was the same as the winter madness and that#it shared elemnts with the spring madness#and i stopped thinking of it like that bc Thats Stupid.#I understand seasonal nostalgia sure but you dont need to put it quite like that . Im sure theres too much overlap for discretion of terms#But right now im like. OK this is autumn madness ceritifed like 100% pure#Lastb year i had a lot of energy so the signature enervation was curtailed so i confused it with some other things#But this is certifed . And i feel like an idiot#''oh i can do fall classes of course i did that my whole school career didnt i? my whole life'' DROP OUT OF HUMANITIES NOW .#Im not sure if there even is a winter madness but i know that there is the January Reckoning to be weary of (seasonal deporession)#I feel like winter classes would be easier at this point come on .#I was hoping that this year would be easier bc ive grown and learned stuff and like#I DID NOT WANT TO RELIVE THE MISERY OF LAST YEAR DOING ONLINE HOMEWORK IN THE BASEMENT#THINKING ABT dbgt characters like my life depended on it even though i hadnt the time .#And it's already better im sure bc im doing in-person school now which helps but STILL. I just want to sleep for forever#I did this last year too i made a post like this and ranted to myself in the tags EXPECT ONE NEXT YEAR TOO
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8/12/23
Commentary on a place in Lev's mindapace.
There's a particular valley. Do you remember the first time you ever stood in front of a plane? It's one thing to see them in the sky, tiny, whimsical, but your first holiday where you stand in front of one of them, after the long journey out to it, where it hums and breathes and it becomes not just a fun idea but a grounded machine, huge, present, looming, real, its wings dwarfing all your imagined preconceptions with their heavy, outstretched reality? This valley stretches like that. Holds like that. Great mountains stand like a distant jury of gods, moss browns all over, rich rocks, wind-worn yet fertile, pregnant with bitter cold.
The flat valley fills the gap like the courtroom silence.
Running down the middle of this flat valley is a thin stream, no raging river; it's a whisper compared to the chatter of a busy street. I've always wondered why it was so thin. He often meets me beside it, in fact I don't think I've been anywhere else in these mountains and valley... Cloud-grey rocks smooth and slate-like - flat - interspersed with other shades of mundanity. Tiniest little hardy grasses, or something, small specks of life burning with the Name of his lover.
It's so cold, but it isn't. It feels like how the ocean feels to him, when I've possessed his body and found that the depths of cold and the heights of heat mean little more than suggestions to him. It feels like the sky.
There, that mountain, looking out to a direction that means nothing to you, the reader, that mountain on the left. That's the one, in my head at least, that I see that sacred vision: He lies over it propped up by swords piercing through his back, pieta-esque if he were Jesus and the mountain Mary and yet not, because they don't touch except where his legs drape within her, the tense friction of metal holds him above her so that they could not touch. The handles are decorated with some sort of red tassels, or something, ceremonial...
It's always been in the back of my mind though, the lingering question of why, in this expansive valley, wider than any valley I've ever seen, this stream is so thin and shallow. Maybe up to my ankle, maybe almost as wide as I am tall... Why? Glacially cold, air-clear, thread-like. A creaking mountain of ice haunts this place, a mountain of ice and restraint; I say that, I see Lev strung up by the hands vividly but in little detail beyond abstract Bacon-esque suggestions of a solemn, physically taut and twisted form... It isn't tragic, nor is it in any way painful, though. It is like mellification or self-immolation: beautiful, sustained, preserved, meditative-blissful, it is like ice, isn't it. To be the piercingly cold Day sky and its entourage of cloud-bodies - the rain picks up heaviness outside my physical window as I type - to slowly melt and drip with such self-restraint... His connection to her is the devotion of a monk to his monastery, his people, and his God.
#~abyssal murmurs#leviathan //#Dreamland Visions //#I would love to know if this is a reflection of a real location bc I know for certain it's based off Mongolia but like#I couldn't tell you where or when or if it's just like a replication of her features in a made up way#The thinness of the stream... Beat with me here. And the looming presence of that glacier that isn't actually there? Its making me think#this is like. old. Older than the 21st century by a looooong time#I don't know why though or more so I don't know how to translate why#Bc the glacier is implied to be historical to this time period but it's like the river hasn't grown yet - which that makes sense right?#Except he's directly implying that the valley was already carved out by water. So it's not saying the water hasn't been there yet#Idk water ice maybe its that ice has been but water hasn't... Either way. It doesn't feel like an experience of time we have on this plane#And it doesn't feel like it's All Times or Multiple Times overlapping it's like its own thing which. Of course it is. It's his mindapace bu#It's fascinating to see how he expresses liminal yet perfectly simple expression
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