*grabs the Vanguard Vaggie idea and scuttles back under her goblin rug*
OKAY BUT
Imagine, like after they retreat back to heaven, the other exorcists...start talking. They start talking *behind Lute's back*.
At first it's pain and bitterness and betrayal at Vaggie fighting them. 'How could she do this? How could she hurt us?!'
Then, maybe during some hit and run nonsense that Lute has them doing, the conversation shifts. They start noticing that Vaggie doesnt go for the kill unless she has to. Doesn't maim. She always gives them the chance to run, to go home... And they start talking. They talk about those better times with the Vanguard. They wonder aloud why she fights for hell. And maybe, just maybe, they talk about how they miss her. They miss Vaggie. They miss having that feeling of her looking out for them.
I wonder how long it might take for one of them to linger. To lower their weapon. To take off their mask.
Even then, it takes a long time for the first exorcist to *stay* after they should have retreated. For them to ask for a place to stay. But as more and more start to come to Vaggie, to the *Vanguard*, and ask for a home...charlie cant help but be grinning as she holds Vaggie's hand.
ayyyyeeeeeee!!!!
what if there was that slooooow realization that when Vaggie was around, their vanguard, they all felt more like a team together. she liked things done Right and done Well- wasn't bothered with competing- took training and exterminations Seriously- kept them all sharp sure but also turned something that was just Adam's shits and giggles, just a GAME, into a purpose and a duty again. something to be proud of and do their BEST at (while still having fun)
so yeah when Adam and Lute come back with her halo saying she's sided with hell, betrayed them all, damned herself and gets to rot there with them- there's that anger. oh they HATE her for doing that-
because they miss her
and things were better, they all felt better, when she'd been around, and that's gone now and it's her fault
or adam and lute say so anyway
can you IMAGINE in this au, the shift when Lute 1v1s Vaggie... and doesn't come back to heaven with her head?? DOESN't beat her? and Adam's DEAD?
and so are so many of them actually- dead exorcists that vaggie helped kill, that vaggie helped fight off
why?
three years her being in hell and she'd never fought any of them or hurt any of her sisters when they came flying down- (and she COULD have) (used to be one of the BEST after all) it's only when they're sent after her HOME that she fights, almost as if-
as if killing isn't what she wants to do anymore, if she can help it
thats. not the same as turning against them. not the same as her siding with hell- even so lute and adam still wanted her dead, and even then, she'd let lute LIVE...
is that weakness and betrayal?
but she's not weak, if lute couldn't kill her. and she never killed any of them until they came after her. is that still betrayal?
or is it something else
is there anything kind of betrayal here. are they on the wrong side of it...
im not sure, if any of them would take off a mask willingly- risk hell-
i KNOW that even ONE moment of hesitation would get lute turning on them, just like she did with vaggie- worse maybe, now very aware of the danger of letting fallen angels live- HER mistake, not killing vaggie when she had the chance all those years ago
and if a wounded and abandoned exorcist staggered to the gate's of the hazbin hotel? if some of her other sisters went looking for her- KNOWING this time what the supposed 'betrayal' and 'sin' had been?
(a moment of hesitation)
(before one of them drops her weapon to knock on the hotel door)
yeah. they'd find charlie running to help them inside. probably already pulling out bandages- a demon with first aid gear in her pockets, always carried just in case, nothing like they were expecting-
they'd find their Vangaurd waiting there too, having gone ahead and made things safe for them to follow, just like always
that'd be pretty sweet
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Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:
Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic
[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]
Flashbacks
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]
Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]
Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]
Extreme alertness/hypervigilance
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]
Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]
Feeling like you have to keep busy
[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]
Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive
[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]
Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]
Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(
[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]
Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard
[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]
Blaming yourself for what happened
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]
Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame
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