#paradox live rage

[fullmetalgirl98]

All these arts put together are soooo precious!! 🥺💕

[justanotherniky]

the new cozmez song came out and I did the work of the gods~

Hit em up / cozmez KAN/ROM/ENG

この社会の不条理のと真ん中で kono shakai no fujouri no to man’naka de In the midst of irrationality in this society

成り上がりに全て賭けた定め nariagari ni subete kaketa sadame The fate of betting everything on the jumped-up

どん底も経験済み donzoko mo keiken zumi Who’ve experienced the rock bottom

どんな場所にいたってずっとWe’re from the streets don’na basho in itatte zutto We’re from the streets No matter where we are, we’re from the streets

光の見えない暗闇の中で hikari no mienai Kurayama no naka de In the darkness without light

それでも夢見たテッペンからの眺め soredemo yumemita teppen kara no nagame I still dreamed of the view from the top

片足突っ込んだ地獄の淵 kataashi tsukkonda jigoku no fuchi Having one foot in the pit of hell

せこから蘇ったAin’t no stoppin’ me seko kara yomigaetta Ain’t no stoppin’ me I came back from there, ain’t no stoppin’ me

本当の痛みなんて honto no itami nante I didn’t know what real pain was like

知らずにいきがって shirazu ni iki gatte Just being overconfident

ホンモノ語るなんて honmono kataru nante And preaching about genuineness

この先は通用しないぜ Kono saki wa tsuuyou shinai ze This is not going to work from here on out

Click clack, 今 Step back Click clack, ima Step back Click clack, now step back

その感覚じゃToo bad sono kankaku jya Too bad If you feel like that, too bad

Watch your back もう瞬殺 Watch your back mou shunsatsu Watch your back, or you’ll be killed instantly

この場所じゃ不合格 kono basho jya fugoukaku You fail at this place

栗り返してくカルマの中で kuri kaeshite ku karuma no naka de In the karma that repeats itself

まだのがいてる奴らに届け mada no ga iteru yatsura ni todoke I hope those who struggle will hear this

路上のDream から頂点のKing rojo no Dream kara chouten no King From the dream on the road to the king on the top

We’re just too real, baby, we’re just too real

生半可な奴らはWe gon hit em up namahankana yatsura wa We gon hit em up To the half-hearted ones, we gon hit em up

見下してた奴らもWe gon hit em up mikudashi teta yatsura mo We gon hit em up Even the ones looking down on us, We gon hit em up

今全員を並べてWe gon hit em up ima zen’in wo narabete We gon hit em up Now, everyone in line, we gon hit em up

We gon, we gon hit em up We gon, we gon hit em up, yeah

Hit em up, BAOW, BAOW Hit em up, hit em up, BAOW BAOW

今偽物に代償を払わせる ima nisemono ni daishou wo harawa seru Now, we let the fake pay the price

Pay up, pay up, pay up, aye

現状維持よりもずっと目指していく genjou ishiyori mo zutto mezashiteiku We’ll aim much higher than the status quo

Way up, way up, way up, aye

6 in the morning, 路地裏で動き出すStory 6 in the morning, rojiura de ugokidasu story 6 in the morning, a story starts in the backstreets

付け焼き刃の言葉並べてるバース tsukeyakiba no kotoba narabeteru baasu Hearing your verses full of pretentious words

それで語る苦労とか鼻で笑う sore de kataru kurou toka hanadewarau I sneer at those hardships you talk about

いいか忠告を聞きな iika chuukoku no kikina Look, here's my advice

それが出来なきやHit em up sore ga dekinakiya Hit em up If you can’t do it, hit em up

綺麗事を語る隙に kireigoto wo kataru suki ni While someone talks about ideals

俺らいつもRunnin’ the block orera itsumo Runnin’ the block We’re always runnin’ the block

聞き飽きそうただの泣き言 kiki aki sou tada no nakigoto Getting tired of hearing, it’s just whining

甘ーちゃん共仲良くやってろ ama-chan tomo nakayoku yattero Spoiled brats, enjoy your cheap friendship

We’ve been drillin’, trappin’, yeah

行き先ならTo the top ikisaki nara To the top We’re going to the top

決めてる覚悟 kimeteru kakugo I’m already prepared

成功へのPassport seikou he no Passport The passport to success

お前の明日も omae no asu mo To your tomorrow

全てもらう subete morau I’ll take it all

存在で全部を証明済み sonzai de zenbu wo shoumei zumi I’ve already proven everything with my existence

We’re just too real, baby, we’re just too real

生半可な奴らはWe gon hit em up namahankana yatsura wa We gon hit em up To the half-hearted ones, we gon hit em up

見下してた奴らもWe gon hit em up mikudashi teta yatsura mo We gon hit em up Even the ones looking down on us, We gon hit em up

今全員を並べてWe gon hit em up ima zen’in wo narabete We gon hit em up Now, everyone in line, we gon hit em up

We gon, we gon hit em up We gon, we gon hit em up, yeah

Hit em up, BAOW, BAOW Hit em up, hit em up, BAOW BAOW

I did not translate this myself, the translation is from the official music video. I only did the romaji transcription :D

[deargravity]

[jalapenobee]

"baby quickly turn around and exit the other way" kenta who are you talking to. WHO.

[kumikomochidesu]

*crack my knuckles* You know the drill~ 🐍💜

[idoltenshi]

Paradox live Road to Legend

Round 1 "RAGE"💥💥💥

Interim Announcement:

[ethreaq]

wow paralive anime in 2023 :D

[ozzgin]

I can order a yandere cute (kawaii), who maybe because of his cute and innocent appearance managed to get close to his beloved, but maybe this boy is not only cute and has a very disturbing past...

When you described a cute yandere with a messed up past, all I could think of was Kanato from Diabolik Lovers. This one's less of an asshole though. Hopefully. I also wasn't sure what you had in mind for 'disturbing past', I may have gone overboard.

Cute!Twisted! Yandere x Reader

Children will say the strangest things. Such as the marriage promise you’ve received from the little boy you befriended a long time ago, when you were rather young yourself. Yet sometimes the words aren’t entirely devoid of meaning. He definitely hasn’t forgotten his intentions, and your current fiancé is a mere delay to his plans.

TW: mentions of abuse, obsessive behavior, violence, small age gap, death

He still remembers the day you met, so clearly and vividly. His most cherished memory. 

It was particularly cold despite the sun and his feet were hurting. He didn't have the time to put any shoes on, he ran out the moment he'd heard the sound of glass breaking. 

Mother was so scary when she'd get upset. The bulging eyes, the screaming mouth, the wild hair scattered over her face, darkening her features.

What if she were to follow him outside? No, she was never mean in front of others. Then again, the street was empty...He bit apart the skin on his fingers in panic. 

"Isn't it a bit late for pajamas?"

His eyes darted up and met hers. A girl somewhat taller and older, holding a basketball under her arm and staring intently, visibly confused. He was, after all, shivering outside by himself, barefoot and in sleeping garments in bright daylight. He blushed in embarrassment. 

"I snuck out for some fresh air."

"Rebellious already, huh?" She smirked and walked over, dropping herself on the sidewalk next to him. "I'm (Y/N). Do you live in the area? We could hang out when you feel like it. No need to sit by yourself."

She pointed to a house unexpectedly close. Has she always been nearby? Then again, he was never allowed outside. Besides the spontaneous escapades in order to avoid the burning rage, he didn't see other people much. It had always been him and Mother. 

For his own good, really. At least that's what Mother used to say. When she wasn't angry, she'd cry and hold him tight, telling him how much she pities him between hiccups and candid sobs. A vile creature like him would surely be mocked by the rest of the world. Not his fault, the poor little angel. Alas, his miserable fate still had a glimpse of hope, because Mother would never abandon him. He would always find acceptance from her all-forgiving heart.

And yet, there was always the seed of suspicion in the depths of his mind. Her sweet, soothing words felt like a hot slap over the blooming wounds already adorning his body, shaping a paradox.

Then he met you. You didn't seem to be disturbed by his presence. The following days, whenever he approached you, you'd welcome him with the same warm smile. Just like you promised. He couldn't find the ridicule he'd so often been warned about.

The puzzle pieces didn't fit together, and it became painfully obvious once Mother confronted him about his secret outings. Somehow her wrath had faded. Her shouts were mere waves echoing from somewhere distant, only grazing by his ears. She must've noticed his indifference, too, because she began rummaging her pockets for the basement key. Perhaps an old fashioned discipline would have helped him regain his voice. But the dark, cramped walls of the basement no longer frightened him. During his time spent outside, he had discovered a fact of stunning novelty:

He didn't have to listen to her. Staring into her ferocious, bottomless pits, he only found the reflection of (Y/N)'s face. Her peaceful, loving expression, devoid of pain, or fury, or punishment. 

His little hands reached for the box cutter.

"It's you that has to go downstairs, Mother. You're a liar. I hate liars."

Was it the right choice? His small outburst had ultimately cost him your company. That evening he politely called emergency to let them know his Mother had gone mad. And so they dispatched a couple of officers to investigate the gruesome cadaver, sprawled along the stairs with too many gashes to count. They shyly investigated the basement, and a social worker carefully inspected the little boy's abundant markings. This couldn't have been a suicide, but the tearful, frightened eyes of the child kept them from pressing further. Whoever had stepped foot into their home that day most likely did him a favor. Nonetheless, he was now essentially orphaned, requiring an adult, and was swiftly shipped to the first available relative.

He didn't have the time to meet you one last time. A shameful departure given his final meeting: completely inebriated with ardent affection, he dared to present to you his innermost wish. One day he'd marry you, he was certain of it. You chuckled and extended your pinky finger reassuringly. A sealed deal. 

All he had was your name and your promise and God, how dearly he clung to them every night, every passing year. His true glimmer of hope.

You're scrolling through your emails, waiting for the bus to arrive, when a gentle tap on the shoulder startles you. Behind you is a young man, although the soft, feminine features give him more of an androgynous appearance.

"May I help you?"

"You're (Y/N), aren't you?" he bats his eyelashes expectantly. 

"I am, but how do you-" 

You gaze at the stranger intently. The big, innocent eyes, the childish demeanor, there's a certain familiarity to it. Who could it be? Suddenly you're overwhelmed by nostalgia. 

"It's you! How many years...? And you haven't changed one bit!" You laugh merrily at the sight of your shy, quiet friend, all grown up. 

"H-hey now, surely I look more mature this time." He tries to emulate a somber frown as a way to prove his adulthood. "Do you have time? I'd love to catch up."

He missed you so much. 

"Right now is a little difficult, but I'll tell you what. Why don't you come over to our place in the near future?"

Huh?

"This way I can introduce you to my fiancé!" You flash him your phone in order to exchange numbers, enthusiastic about the surprise reunion.

He vacantly stares at the lockscreen depicting an unknown man holding you close to him. When he searched for your name online, he didn't find anything regarding a relationship. He didn't expect this. He shouldn't have expected this. His fingers tighten around the small velvet box in his pocket. 

Did you forget your promise to him? Or was everything a lie? No, you wouldn't...you couldn't...He fucking hates liars. But you're not one of them, are you? You're not like Mother. No, no, no, no. Breathe. It's his fault. Of course, naturally. He vanished without a word and you must've thought he abandoned you. How careless of him. How terribly rude to blame you for his mistakes. It's okay, it's alright. He'll make it up to you. Sweet, darling (Y/N). 

"Are you okay?"

He looks up and notices your worried face. 

"Me? Yes, definitely. I was just a little surprised. Hehe. Who would've thought?" He grins and winks at you. "I have an even better idea! Why don't you two come to my apartment instead? I never got the chance to congratulate you for your engagement."

"Gosh, haha, don't worry about i-"

"Please. Pretty please?" He pouts dramatically, holding onto your coat, and you blush slightly at the adorable display. "It's my way of thanking you for the nice childhood memories."

"You really have your way to convince people, huh?" You ruffle his hair and he lowers his head, enjoying the touch. "I'll let my fiancé know."

"Such a cozy place you got yourself!" You beam at the lovely atmosphere of the room. Everything is bright and inviting. 

"Uh huh. The ladies must love you." Your fiancé follows up in agreement, snacking on the fancy appetizers. 

The young man places a tray on the table and hands you both a glass of sparkling wine. 

"Do you live alone? I refuse to believe you don't have a girlfriend." You joke and turn to your partner. "He was a real loner back then. Never saw him around other kids."

"Don't out me like that, (Y/N)!" He pinches your cheek humorously. "As a matter of fact, I do have a girlfriend."

Your fiancé raises his eyebrows, encouraging the boy to continue with details, while he gulps down the pleasantly aromatic drink. Must be expensive. 

"Then why didn't you bring her here? I want to meet her!" You whine. 

The man fiddles with his glass, observing the air bubbles that rush to the surface. 

"You already know her."

"Oh?"

Distracted by this knowledge, you stretch for your own glass and accidentally grab the one belonging to your fiancé. Before you can bring it to your lips, your head swings to the side and you can instantly feel your cheek throb, numb from the abrupt impact of someone's hand. 

"Don't fucking touch it!"

Your childhood friend is standing before you, equally shocked by his act. He stares at his reddening palm and his face twists in terror.

"I-I'm...Oh God...I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I just, I didn't know what else to do. You have to understand, please. I'd never-"

As you listen to his erratic apology, you hear the wheezing coughs of your fiancé. His breathing is irregular and he scratches his throat, unable to verbalize his struggle to you. A white foam begins to form in the corners of his mouth. You try to get up, but the man's fingers dig into your face, forcing you back on the chair. 

"Shhh shhh, it sounds uglier than it actually is. Trust me. Do you see now? I had to be a little rough, otherwise you would've gotten hurt. Hey! Look at me." He cups your cheeks with both of his hands, squatting in front of you. "Let him settle down. It won't be long."

Your vision becomes blurry.

"He needs an ambulance. Please. What did you do with the drinks?" You manage to blurt out.

"Won't make a difference."

He rests his gaze on your features for a few moments, admiring them dreamily. 

"It breaks my heart when you're sad like this. Didn't I say this is an engagement celebration?"

Without breaking eye contact, he pulls out his treasured box and opens it in your lap, revealing a ring.

"I know I disappeared without a word, but I truly had no choice. This is my way of begging for your forgiveness. Not a day went by without thinking of you, (Y/N). I, heh...I actually got this many years ago. Just carried it in my pocket in case I ever found you again." 

He giggles awkwardly, stroking your cheek protectively. 

"So don't cry. I've kept my promise after all, didn't I? Aren't you proud of me~?"

By the time his little speech ends, the room has filled with silence. Your fiancé is slouching on the chair, still and quiet. The young boy picks up your limp body, humming cheerfully. 

"You'll be the prettiest bride in the world.

Mine and mine only."

[ellieluvr420]

Eye for an Eye Pt.1

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

Okay i know the vote isn’t over yet but there is a pretty overwhelming majority so here it is! i’m sorry if this is not what u wanted but i promise friends?never is gonna still be getting regular updates, that will be prioritised until it is complete i was just too excited to not put a little something out. love u all as always xxxxxxxx

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In and out. In and out. Focus on your breathing, focus on it to quell the pit of rage burning deep inside you. That was all you had done for weeks and even at the resolution, when everything was as it should be, still the fire burned on. In and fucking out. Your breaths got deeper, shakier, more frequent again as the weight of her sleeping peacefully by your side consumed you, it had once consumed you with love and it still did, quietly in the background, but it was now overshadowed by the screaming torment of the rage you felt when you looked at her or even felt her presence. It had been like this ever since she got back. Weeks and weeks of refused touches, unanswered questions, shameful glances, you were stuck in this loop because she kept you in the dark. But humans adapt, better than most, so you adapted to the dark, learned to sneak around in it, hunt in it, live in it. You could never leave, neither could she, you were bound cosmically, and you cursed it every day. It was a paradox; how could you love someone so much you felt like your world would burn if they weren’t in it but hate them so much you never wanted to see them again? You couldn’t make sense of it, she’d come to understand your feelings but she was blissfully ignorant to how the swarm of indifference surged through your mind and clamped down on your heart.

You sighed and spared a glance at her sleeping form, the peaceful expression of her face only screaming at you to smother it with the pillow you had laid restlessly on. Weeks and weeks, every morning, you wake up, you stare at her sleeping face and you wish you could just make her sleep forever, it made you want to join her, to sleep and never wake. The anger had become so palpable you actually dreamed of killing her and then yourself just to break free from this never-ending cycle. You tip-toed around each other, you avoiding her like she was the plague because in your mind she was, and her treating you like an unexploded bomb that could go off at the slightest wrong movement. She knew it was her fault, she had made you this way but she had to believe you could both move past it without her shedding light on where she had disappeared off to those months ago. She knew what it would do to you both, leaving for three months without a word, just a quickly written note, no warning, no reassurance, just vanishing. She knew it was stupid to think she could come back without a word as to where she had went and everything would be the same but there was a tiny sliver of hope in her that it could happen. That hope was dashed away when a door was slammed in her face and not opened for her again for two weeks but when it did eventually open, that tiny sliver of hope came flooding back, a flame had ignited in her at the thought that everything would be okay but the flame was slowly dying the more weeks went by without a change in your demeanour. She could feel the hatred, the resentment, the hurt radiating off of you whenever you were near and there was nothing she could do to stop it anymore, you were stubborn, that she knew, but this, this was torture, karma getting its own back at her.

You couldn’t contain it anymore, the energy within you, staring at the wall and focusing on your breathing couldn’t help you now so you threw the covers off of you, rushing out of bed to storm out of the bedroom.

“Babe?” Her quiet, groggy voice sounded out from behind you and your body burned.

“What Abby?”

“Where are you going?”

“I dunno, be back soon.” You echoed the words in her letter and it stung, a physical pain ricocheting through her chest making it hard for her to breathe as she jumped out of bed to follow you.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” You paused and spun to face her, your dark circles were craters under your eyes, your face gaunt and paler than it typically was, your eyes completely vacant, devoid of any emotion.

“I mean I don’t know. Don’t try to find me.” She wasn’t sure if you were doing it on purpose but once again you echoed the contents of her letter as you yanked your boots from the ground, opening the door and slamming it behind you without even a glimpse over your shoulder at her defeated expression. She huffed and dragged her hands down her face as she reluctantly went back to her room, collapsing on the bed. It was times like these she was glad Isaac had moved her to a suite of her own, the thought of Manny witnessing this sending a shiver through her. She knew you could both get through this, she knew, so why was doubt invading her every cell?

You weren’t lying when you said you didn’t know where you were going, you couldn’t go back to your room, it only reminded you of the memories of those three months when she had disappeared and you had locked yourself away, refusing assignments, refusing most food, refusing contact with anyone that wasn’t her. It was too painful to be there, it made being in Abby’s room calming despite her looming presence but this morning it had overwhelmed you, so you kept walking and walking until you ended up at the mess hall. You didn’t remember taking the route there but you had and it was too late to turn back because eyes were on you, familiar eyes, beckoning you over to them.

“Hey stranger! Where you been hiding?” Manny, he had once been a positive presence in your life but he was the antithesis of that now, he had left with her, they had all left with her, leaving you here in the dark and they wanted to play nice now they’re back, you couldn’t. His smile juxtaposed your death glare as you scoffed and looked past him like he wasn’t even there. He could see the anguish in your face, evident in all your features that were nowhere near the radiance you typically emitted, he knew what had happened to you, who had happened to you, his part in it weighing on him heavily. You don’t acknowledge him, you walk straight past him like he’s a ghost, straight past him and all the others waiting expectantly for any sign of forgiveness, straight to the double doors at the other end of the hall, ramming through them like you’re made of steel. “Well fuck.” He mutters as they all watch you storm away out of their sight.

“Are you surprised?” Nora remarks.

“Well no but it’s been almost two months now. She hasn’t cracked one bit.” His eyes never leaving the doors you had exited through.

“She’s seeing Abby, has she said anything about how she’s been?” Mel chimed in with a concerned tone.

“Nada. Fucking nada. It’s radio silence from both of ‘em. I barely even see Abby unless we’re on assignments together because she’s always locked up in her room. I’m worried about ‘em both.” His voice was laced with sadness and there was a tense atmosphere clouding over them as there always was when what they had done was brought up, it was never directly spoken about, it felt like poison to speak it aloud but even a hint of it was enough to make them all shrink into themselves, becoming wrapped in their thoughts.

You trailed the halls of the stadium, circling round and round until your legs ached and your mouth was dry, you had seen people dotted here and there as you walked, smiling politely at any that you mistakenly made eye contact with. You walked past another faceless body as the deafening thoughts drummed around your mind. There was a muffled echo, distant but growing closer until you’re interrupted by a hand enclosing around your wrist, you knew who it belonged to without even having to look causing you to snatch your wrist free from their grasp as you jumped back with a scowl.

“What are you doing? I was worried.” You scoffed at her concerned expression as her eyebrows scrunched. You went to walk away but she was too quick, hands squeezing your hips and pushing you back against the wall you had jumped toward in a bid to escape her first grasp. “Stop fucking walking away from me. When is it gonna end?” You just stared back in disbelief, unmoving in her strong grip, her glassy eyes mocking you, she doesn’t care, her actions had been the opposite of someone who had cared.

“You’re so fucking full of it Abby. You’re worried? Bite me, you don’t worry about anyone other than you.” You spat at her, the shock of your words causing her to loosen her grip around you enough for you to break free and begin storming away from her again.

“I- I just wanna talk. Please.”

“You had your chance to talk. You had so many fucking chances and you wasted them so don’t give me that shit. You wanna feel better about what you did and my forgiveness is the only thing that will do that. Too fucking bad Abby.” You don’t slow as you grit over your shoulder to her but neither does she, following your every movement only a step behind.

“Well if you can’t forgive me why are you still with me? Why do you sleep at mine every night? Why do you still say you love me back when I tell you I love you? What’s the fucking point of it?” You freeze, a choked sob catching in your throat as you look up to the ceiling to beg the tears to just stay in your eyes.

“Because I do love you Abby.” You mutter barely loud enough for her to hear. “How don’t you understand that?” You sound broken, like a shell of yourself.

“Make me understand.” You scoff and chuckle dryly at her as you shake your head.

“I don’t owe you that.” You continue walking again but this time she doesn’t follow, stuck in her place.

“I have patrol! I won’t be back until later.” She calls out to you.

“Thanks for the heads up!” You call back sarcastically. “This time.” You mutter under your breath as you storm further and further from Abby.

You don’t know why you ended up back at Abby’s room, it was so stupid, you couldn’t stand seeing her but her room was the only place that felt safe, you stared at the key that she had once slammed down in front of you as you refused to acknowledge her pleads to just talk, the memory making your blood run cold. It was the first time you had even answered her repeated pounds against your door, two weeks after she had returned, though you opening the door made absolutely no difference because it was like she wasn’t there at all. You had unlatched the door, so it opened a sliver before immediately walking away from it leaving her to hesitantly follow you inside. She watched as you sunk down onto your bed, staring at the wall opposite instead of sparing a glance towards her as she stood over you. She had just stared down at you, pleading with you silently to just look at her but you never did. She slammed the spare key to her room down on your bedside table before sighing and leaving disappointed for what was only the first time to come over the next two weeks. It became a routine, she’d knock, you’d unlock the door and walk away, she’d come in to desperately get you to reason with her but when you showed no signs of a change in your demeanour, she’d give up and leave you alone, letting herself out shamefully. She was just too good at leaving you.

When you had turned up at her door, using the key she had given you, she was stunned, almost so stunned she didn’t see your tear-streaked cheeks and red, glassy eyes but she did notice, she noticed and a lump formed in her throat that she desperately tried to swallow down as she just watched you. Even in her own room you barely acknowledged her only choosing to mutter a small ‘can I stay here tonight?’, the second she vigorously nodded her head you drifted towards her bed, collapsing onto it and immediately burying your face into the pillow to muffle your sobs. She had rubbed your back but when she tried to cuddle into you and wrap you in her embrace you pushed her away hard enough that she didn’t try again. You had gone back to hers everyday since then and the routine hadn’t changed from that point on though you had grown from hurt and beaten down to hostile and the tense atmosphere was painfully tangible. It remained the same as you let yourself into her room, knowing she would eventually come back from patrol later that day and you’d have to face her once again

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Abby felt completely dejected, she was tired and her adrenaline that had powered her through today was fleeting, she was panicking about Owen after seeing Danny’s body and hearing what Nora had told her, everything was backwards and knowing you wouldn’t be there as a comfort to her only made her feel worse as she turned the key to unlock her room. She knew you were here but that made no difference these days, even when you were here you weren’t here and that broke her. 

“Hey.” Her voice was meek and cracked as she looked at you, standing in front of her with the same vacant expression you had worn for months, she couldn’t hold it in anymore, the dam broke and hot, salty tears began flowing down her cheeks as her choked sobs filled the quiet of the room. 

“What’s wrong?” You had moved closer, your eyebrows knitted together in concern as you spoke softly, juxtaposing your harsh tone she had gotten used to, it only made her cry more which drew you in closer until your hand was on her shoulder and squeezing. “Abby what happened?” 

“I- nothing, nothing. We just got ambushed on patrol, I think I’m just tired I don’t know.” You nodded but you were looking at her like you were expecting her to continue, you were coaxing the words out of her and she had no control. “Owen shot Danny and now he’s missing and I just don’t know what to do. Nothing’s the same anymore.” 

“No it isn’t.” Your voice wasn’t as soft as it had been, it wasn’t mean but it wasn’t soft, she warily peeked at your face and the sight of it hardened once again caused another choked sob to rack through her body. She stepped towards you and dropped down to her knees as she wrapped her large arms around your waist and squeezed as she pressed her cheek into your stomach. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have left the way I did and if I could take it back I would but I can’t keep doing this, I miss you and I miss us, I need you, everything’s different I need us to be the same. I’m sorry.” Your hand came to her hair, stroking gently. 

“Tell me where you went.” 

“I- I can’t.” She sobbed more as your hand snatched itself away from her hair before you reached behind you and desperately tried to unclasp her from your waist. “No please, please don’t go. Please I can’t do this without you.” 

“I don’t fucking understand Abby, why won’t you just tell me?” 

“You won’t be able to look at me the same.” 

“I can’t look at you the same now so what difference does it make?” Her eyes meet yours as she looks up at you from her place on the floor and the sight of her lip wobbling as her cheeks were red and tear-streaked almost made your resolve waiver but you couldn’t. You wished you could forget but you couldn’t. 

“Please.” She begged but it fell on deaf ears. 

“Let me go Abby.” She blew out a breath as her eyes clamped shut and she swallowed a sob, her arms loosened around you letting you break free from her grasp to practically run to the front door and leave. She didn’t watch you go from her position on the floor, she just sat and collapsed into a fit of sobs as her door slammed signalling your departure. You couldn’t keep it together once you had walked out of her room, everything felt like it was coming crashing down as you paced the halls. It wasn’t enough to leave Abby’s room, you still felt suffocated, you needed to get out of the stadium. You headed straight for the secret hole in the fence that only you and Abby knew about to make your escape and the second you emerged into the drizzly outside of Seattle you could feel your lungs filling with air that you desperately needed. You considered going back in but when you turned back, your lungs felt like they were constricting again and you ran in the complete opposite direction until your legs were tired and your lungs burned. You didn’t have a gun, or a knife, you were completely defenceless so when you heard the shrill cries of infected, you immediately looked for an entrance into any one of the buildings that surrounded you. 

You spotted a window open just one story up at an old theatre and you sprinted towards it and up the stairs of the fire escape to climb through. Once you were inside, you shut the window softly and began making your way through what you assumed was the backstage area of the theatre, the red, velvet curtains called you towards them and as you stepped through you gasped at the sight of an auburn-haired girl sleeping on one of the chairs. She looked a couple years younger than you, nineteen or twenty you assumed, and despite the sleep her face still looked screwed up and tense. You edged closer to her, careful not to make any noise and when you saw her gun on the seat next to her you grabbed it, pointing it at her while kicking at her shoe. She stirred slightly and then her eyes flashed open revealing bright green eyes staring back at you in disbelief.  

“Don’t scream. Who are you?”  

tags: @emiliabby @liasxeatt @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @tphmnv

[sunshine-on-my-mind]

Soldat’s fairy

~ Chapter 2

pairing: winter soldier x reader / bucky barnes x reader

general warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! Dark Elements!! HYDRA!! (Dub Con implied but not really and NOT FROM BUCKY), Winter Solider, Mind Control, se-xual in-tercourse. forced relationship forced procreation (HYDRA!!), ANGST - (this is my first time writing something like this so please let me know if I should more warnings)

chapter warnings: mentions of crying, mentions of blood, gun shot, bullet injury, suggestive, nothing graphic but hinting at smut, mentions of virginity (+ general warnings)

words: 1.2k

a/n: hi everyone, i really hope you liked the first chapter, things accelerate in this chapter, thank you for your support, hope you like it. please please read the warnings before continuing.

<- Previous Chapter

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DO NOT COPY MY WORK!!

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Your room, no matter how nicely decorated, it was a prison, you were being held against your wishes and you were all alone.

Since Soldat left your room, you had no idea about time passing, there were no windows in the room you were kept in, no clocks, only food and water was given to you. You screamed, cried, but no use.

You were on lying on your bed, tired and scared. The door opened and your alarmed body grabbed the nearest thing you could to throw at whoever entered.

A pillow won’t be much of use against the winter soldier. The man was standing in front of you but no words were spoken, the door was closed behind.

All of sudden, you looked at him, really looked at him, that was when you noticed the bruises and cuts and marks on his body, his metal arm, his hair, his face. Some of the bruises were we very fresh, as if…

“What happened? Are you hurt?” You asked the man, with a shaky voice. But you didn’t get a response.

“Those bruises…” You bravely took a step towards Soldat. The seemed like a living paradox to you, his hard exterior but his eyes… his eyes were dying to tell a different story. You took another step closer and the man finally broke his silence.

“Don’t” He looked down at the floor and clenched his fists. Was he angry? “Don’t come near”

“You’re hurt-“

“STOP!”

You took a step back when he yelled. Soldat was fuming, his metal hand clenched so hard it screeched. The air got thicker in the room.

“I have orders to…”

“Yeah- yeah I know” you answered feeling your heart beating faster.

“I cannot refuse orders”

“Please…” Soldat looked into your eyes to notice the pain, fear and helplessness. He wasn’t supposed to feel emotions, but your eyes… it reminded him of- of himself. Or maybe some version of himself, not that he remembered.

The man wanted to fight, not you, not anyone else but himself, wanted to fight his instincts, fight his sudden want to protect you.

“Do they hurt you? Those men? My father?” He didn’t respond but his silence spoke louder.

“I didn’t follow orders.” He informed.

“So they- so they hurt you?”

“I always follow orders, I have to”

“They why didn’t you? Last time when you were here… why didn’t you follow your orders?” The question seemed to have stir something in the man. He didn’t know how to respond. That was the question he had asked himself when he left your room, when your father’s men tortured him, he kept asking himself that same question. Why didn’t he follow orders.

“I…”

“Why don’t you run away? Do you support my father? Do you want to help him?” The man gave you no reply and you continued “They are holding you here aren’t they? Run away.”

“I can’t, I can’t escape, I- I had tried”, the man told you

“Maybe I can help you, maybe we can help each other?” At that he moved closer to you. Why were you being kind to him? No one was kind to him. Soldat grabbed your arm, pulled you closer. He stared into your eyes as if trying to get a look into your soul, those usually rageful eyes had something else in them.

“Why? Why will you help me?” You didn’t know how to answer him

“These people… they hurt you, they- you should not help them” He sighed

“I have to comply”

There was a knock on your door as you gasped. Another knock and then the doors opened to an emerging figure of your father, followed by few of his men.

“Daughter, I see you’re being stubborn, do you not understand your purpose yet? You have to bear the soldier’s child”

“I won’t, you can’t do this to me”

Pierce nodded to one of his men who took out a gun and you felt your heart stop. Would your father order to kill you? Well after everything you had no trust left in your body, at least not for Pierce. Then something strange happened, the man pointed his gun to the winter soldier who tried to attack the man but Alexander Pierce stopped him.

“Do not move Soldat” Pierce ordered. He motioned at his men to hold Soldat down. The winter soldier could easily overpower them if he wanted to but he was bound by Pierce’s orders.

“Now daughter, do you want me to blow this man’s brains out?” Everything was happening too fast, it was all too much you could hardly process anything, all you knew you didn’t want this man to be harmed. You took a deep breath.

“You wouldn’t kill him father, he is too precious for you, you told me yourself he is the key to your victory” Pierce laughed at that.

“Looks like you’re smarter than I thought, still not smart enough” Your father gave his men a signal to shoot and in an instant he shot Soldat’s leg. You screamed. There was blood, actual blood in front of you.

“I won’t kill him, but I sure can break him, do you want that?” Soldat wasn’t looking at you, he was staring at the floor. He was used to torture, it hurt but he was used to it.

“Don’t, don’t hurt him” your voice was shaking. “Please father- I- I’ll do it”

“That’s better” Pierce had a satisfied grin on his face. “Right then, hope you do what’s needed daughter, we’ll take Soldat to the med bay and then when he comes back, you better keep your word, or I have other methods, because this time the blood won’t be his”

At that Soldat looked up at you, he could understand the meaning behind Pierce’s words and he didn’t like it one bit, Soldat himself was used to torture but you… you seemed soft, untouched, he didn’t want you to get hurt.

The men took him away for now and one of them did a lousy job of cleaning the blood from your floor. Soon you were left alone in the room and you broke down into tears. You were terrified and disgusted.

After a while when soldier returned, he found you sitting on the edge of your bed looking defeated. You didn’t look at him, and he kept standing beside you.

“I guess, you were right, we can’t run from this” You looked up at him finally and then to his wounded leg. “Does it hurt?”

“It will heal soon” He replied with a gravelly voice. You nodded and gripped your bed sheet tightly, thinking what was about to happen.

“I… I don’t want to hurt you” Soldat confessed. “But…”

“But there is no way out.” You gave him a sad smile, tears welled up in your eyes.

“I have… I have not done this before, I mean, I- I haven’t been with someone” you told the man as you got up from your bed and stood in front of him. “Please um- please be gentle” your lips wobbled as you uttered those words. Soldat moved closer to you and held your face with his flesh hand.

“I don’t want to hurt you” He repeated his words “…and that is why I have to do this- or they will hurt you.“ You looked into his eyes, there was softness in them “I won’t hurt you” He promised.

Even though you felt you were being surrounded by darkness, the man in front of you gave you hope. You didn’t understand why but you didn’t feel like you were alone anymore, and neither did he.

———————

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

taglist: @vicmc624 @floralwsloki @cjand10 @420-hun

[cringefail-clown]

considering how ult!dirk is vastly different from the dirk we know and love because of the influences of the splinters that merged to make him Him, including bro and therefore, through cal's meddling with bro, also equius, caliborn, hal and half of gamzee i fucking guess, its interesting to me to think about how merging with signless would change kankri if he went ultimate.

like yeah, thats troll jegus. maybe hed make kankri less insufferable, his whole thing was how you should love thy troll neighbour, he was a great dude. but also thats the guy who, with his dying breath, yelled out a fuck you so influential it rippled through paradox space so hard it gave karkat a major case of voice volume always set to Loud since basically his birth.

now imagine this guy, who spent his whole life trying to change the troll society for the better and died hoping his descendant will finish his work, somehow coming to earth c and witnessing this fucker with anime shades manipulating the narrative into the path of trolls living under the dictatorship again. i think no matter how much of a pacifist you are, that shit is gonna make you fucking livid. like the kankri part maybe would have some reserves and wanting to at least try and talk dirk out of his dumbass plans, but signless would sit on the backburner with his rifle ready to go full troll john wick on his ass.

tldr signless gave his last fuck and it was so influential trolls made a religion out of it, and now he has zero of them left, instead having a hold on about 300 different guns in his sylladex and a raging vendetta against dictatorships.

(also slight tangent but this part of meat epilogue made me burst out laughing on my reread:

"no i aint making troll bible part 2: electric boogaloo with this shit, im not a fucking idiot")

[fullmetalgirl98]

《Fight For Liberty》 - 獄Luck 🚨

[agoddamn]

@cardinalgoldenbrow not quite. Something else fell into Duviri.

Not a whole person, but a piece so significant and meaningful that it kicked off the entire paradox meltdown sequence.

The Lotus's hand.

The Lotus had enough conceptual weight to her to give the Drifter the power of the Void, a power the Lotus herself never even had. She is so strongly connected to the Tenno that she connects the Drifter to them by way of her own hand.

Why, then, wouldn't that be conceptually powerful enough to birth a denizen of Duviri?

Gender? Means nothing. Thrax is male and can be spawned from a female Drifter all the same.

Timeline? Duviri experiences time in a way that isn't linear to the Origin System. We already know this thanks to Teshin having been living in Duviri a long time by the time the Lotus's hand lands even though they fell at about the same time.

Let's look at the major beats here.

First, why is Ballas the Warden to Kullervo? "Because he's an Orokin, he's a ruler, the Drifter saw his portraits as a child!" Yeah, plausible, but by that logic Tuvul should be the Warden. Tuvul drove much of the Zariman project. His statues are all over it. The Commons are even named for him. If the Drifter were unconsciously reaching for any authority figure, it should have been Tuvul.

Speaking of authority figures, Executors don't rule Duviri. A king does. Kullervo's texts talk explicitly about Executors and other things about the Origin System in a way that doesn't match Duviri's canon. Why import Ballas as an authority figure and then demote him to Warden all while acknowledging that he ought to be an Executor?

Let's read Kullervo's story.

Hated Kullervo, did you truly believe he could love you? 

Oh, huh. Kullervo was in love with an Executor. One of the Seven. That's--rare. Who would love one of those assholes?

Kullervo's criminal trajectory is most strange. He was in love with an Executor, killed an Orokin to prove it, obeyed a direct Orokin order (why does an authority figure call this a crime?), killed someone like a mother to him--an Archimedean he was trying to rescue from Orokin custody, odd detail there--then attacked the Orokin again, then orchestrated the Night of the Naga Drums.

Man's got loyalties like a ping-pong ball, huh? Why?

The children's rhymes tell a rather different story.

An enslaved warrior torn from his mother. He was born to fight, eventually learned a truth of his birth, saw his home lost. He bursts into a rage, murders, and then kills himself.

This is much much much more straightforward. You'll notice that the children's rhymes don't mention Origin System concepts like Executors, either. Nothing about love.

Why all the complication?

Two distinct narratives, both tossing in details that beg for more elaboration. Why do this, as a writer? Why spend the voice actors' time like this?

I can only think it was done on purpose.

Two different stories, two different readings on the same person. One from Ballas, one from children.

(Huh. They say Kullervo is a friend to children, don't they?)

The Lotus lived very different lives from the perspectives of Ballas versus her Tenno.

Natah was born to war, a mimic spy with a purpose. She left her family--not by choice--and killed her fellow Sentients as the Lotus; a betrayer. She then orchestrated the Night of the Naga Drums; a betrayer twice over, the mother of a bloodbath.

Ballas sees her as a betrayer, someone who loved him and threw him away.

We see beats of Margulis's story here, too--an Archimedean that was like a mother, killed in a struggle that wouldn't have existed if not for the choice of resistance.

Kullervo isn't literally the Lotus, but I believe that he was conceptually born from her.

His stories contain the major beats of her life, only slightly twisted by perspective. Those details are so specific--in love with an Executor? Betrayed their own kind, and then their 'ruler'? A mother figure (so specific! Why not just have her as his mother?) who was an Archimedean, killed because of resisting the authority that ruled them both?

Kullervo is made up of her pieces, like a collage.

I believe that Ballas's presence and the sudden mention of Executors when that doesn't match the rest of Duviri are supposed to be clues to us that something from the Origin System has leaked in to birth Kullervo, that he is not simply an independent figure that existed in the past. When Teshin and Albrecht rolled into Duviri, they did simply that--they entered Duviri and adopted its ways while they lived there. They didn't come with an entire chapter of a story that isn't from the Duviri Tales.

Another point to Kullervo being born from Duviri is that he is treated like he exists in Duviri. Nobody says that he suddenly appeared like Albrecht or Teshin. Acrithis talks about him as if he's a part of the story. They all know his history. It's only the Warden who relates such a different history.

I think that the name Kullervo probably did exist as some minor character in the original Duviri Tales. The Drifter's subconscious applied this to the tangle of trauma that the Lotus conceptually exists as.

tl;dr Kullervotus

[nitrosplicer]

https://jameschasesanchez.com/2022/04/29/on-the-paradox-of-self-immolation/

This piece deals with the case of Reverend Charles Moore, an elderly white preacher who self-immolated in his hometown in Texas to object to the town’s racism in 2014. However, it is a (non-paywalled) articulation of how self immolation is a form of protest which should not be conflated with mental health issues.

“Between 2009-2016 in Tibet, self-immolations occurred every 17 days. When you factor in the rest of the world during that period, they occurred more than once every two weeks. Yet this isn’t a recent phenomenon; it has a long historical linage. Many remember the famous image of Thích Quảng Đức immolating in a Saigon street corner to challenge the government’s oppression of Buddhists in 1964. At the time, JFK referred to the image as the most significant photograph of the 20th century. It eventually became the cover of a Rage Against the Machine album. Many experts even argue that the 2011 Arab Spring began with Mohamed Bouazizi’s fiery death in Tunisia, which led to waves of revolution across Northern Africa.

While self-immolation has historical precedent, for many Americans it’s still perplexing.

“Why would someone feel the need to give up their live for a cause?”

“Sounds like a ‘crazy’ person.”

These were the two most common concerns people raised when I interviewed them for the documentary and book.

The answers are simple yet complex: Self-immolation, by nature, is paradoxical.

…No one called for these people to die, yet they chose willingly to do so, in hopes that they might help enact a climate revolution, change governmental policy on climate change, or alter values and ideologies of race and racism. The history of protest demonstrates that we never know what one act might tip the scales. Maybe Wynn’s death could cause the Arab Spring version of climate change. Maybe Buckle’s sacrifice could have become as significant to the 21st century as Đức’s was to the 20th. There is always a chance. These self-immolations stem not from despair in the face of impending doom but rather from looking at the bigger picture. They had faith their deaths could save lives in the long run. What a powerful, compassionate risk—that your life might save others if people collectively choose to act.”

[jalapenobee]

new ship unlocked: reonta

[kumikomochidesu]

Definitely made my day.

Voice Drama Sample [cozmez vs VISTY]: https://youtu.be/r1Wg-3DXAyE