#pastry cleric

[singharit]

waking up in the Astral Plane — ☆

[yandereloveraw]

[My oc's DnD party members responding to being stabbed with a sword]

Cleric Vanilla: Rude

Bard Jasper: That's fair

Paladin Xavier: Not again.

Barbarian Archie: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

------------------------------------------------------

[The party when they drop food on the floor]

Cleric Vanilla: Aw man. [Throws it away]

Bard Jasper: Five second rule!

Barbarian Archie: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? [Eats it off the floor]

Paladin Xavier: [Sobs on the floor]

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered If I Could Come Home (Astarion x F! pregnant reader) (Part 3)

Synopsis: A hag has set her eyes on you and Eowyn- Astarion is determined to kill the damn thing.

CW: Mentions of child loss

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are much appreciated!!!!

Picture does not belong to me! Please reach out to me if it is yours!

P.s. lightly edited

Month 8 has been blissful and going into your last month- you actually feel stronger than you have the entire time.

You sit on a bench, reading another book about babies (you save the Dhampir books for locations with less eyes), as Astarion throws a ball with Scratch and Wide Eyes (Karlach thought her name for the Owlbear was clever) in the local park. Astarion had been fed up with their zoomie shenanigans since they began earlier this morning. You wanted to go outside anyway- so it was perfect!

Eowyn kicks every so often to let you know that she is still there and doesn’t intend on leaving anytime soon, but overall, it’s been a really easy day. It’s fun to be able to watch Astarion enjoy such mundane life activities and it makes you realize how many simple things in your life that you have taken for granted.

You smile to yourself as you continue to read your book and you finally feel hungry enough to begin munching on the pastry Astarion bought you.

It was an apple cupcake and it was surprisingly very very yummy.

“My, my,” a scratchy voice says, “aren’t you a pretty little bred thing.”

You feel the hairs on your neck stand up and you turn very slowly to look at the elderly woman who stares at you with a look of hunger in her eyes. Oh- it’s the woman Astarion bought the cupcake from. She looked�� friendlier earlier?

You don’t know why you feel like you are in danger all of a sudden, but your arms go over your stomach protectively- one of them ready to fire a cantrip if needed. The energy around her feels familiar, but different- you’ve been in the presence of this type of magic before, but you can’t remember when.

“You are that pretty girl that lives in the house with the dark curtains,” she steps closer, “you come and buy those herbs with your little Cleric friend!”

Oh- maybe that’s why I recognize her more? I’ve seen her more than I’ve realized?

“You know, Droplet, I could take that little one off your hands.”

Your whole body freezes at the statement and her already wicked smile becomes even more menacing and even intimidating.

“You do look close to death as is- you don’t really want to birth a child you won’t survive having do you? Especially not a bloodthirsty Dhampir!”

You feel your heart racing, a deep sadness and fear is coursing through you.

Eowyn, my sweet girl, you are not going anywhere.

That relieves some of the uncomfortable emotions stirring within you, but this woman has you in a trance. You can’t look away from her and you don’t feel like you can move.

“I- I don’t know you,” you say shakily, “I- you need to walk away, please. I’m not interested and I don’t know what you are talking about.”

You don’t even sound convincing to yourself. You begin to feel really sleepy all of a sudden and your eyes are becoming harder to keep open. Something is wrong and as much as you want to call out to Astarion- your mouth feels heavy.

“Oh, Droplet,” the woman tuts, “it will be okay- you’ll wake up and it will all be bet-“

“What in the hells do you think you are doing?”

Whatever spell the woman had tried to put you under broke when she jumped at Astarion’s voice. You look over at the father of your child and you almost begin to sob. You have never been more grateful for how menacing Astarion can look when he wants to.

“Oh, hello!” she recovers her composure, “I know this young, adorably pregnant girl from the market. I was just offering to… adopt.”

“Oh yes,” Astarion snarls, “because Hags are known for their kind hearted souls and their selfless adoption of children.”

You feel sick to your stomach. Scratch is up on the bench and standing between you and the Hag- his hackles are raised and a long, low growl is released from his throat while Wide Eyes stands right next to you as close as he can get.

The Hag looks at you, then Astarion, then Scratch, and lastly, Wide Eyes before she returns her gaze back to yours. She gives you one last wide grin.

“I will see you later, Droplet. You should know that I always get what I want.”

You turn to Astarion who is pushing past the Owlbear- your face is in between his hands in an instant and he’s frantically searching over you- looking for signs of maltreatment..

Astarion pulls out an antidote from his pocket and makes you drink it- just in case the woman had intentionally poisoned the cupcake. It didn’t make the intense sleepiness you feel go away, but at least you know you aren’t dying.

It doesn’t matter to him though- Astarion is quick to pull you up and support you while you walk home. You can tell Astarion wants to just pick you up and run back home to Shadowheart, but you both know how crazy that might look considering normal men who have Astarion’s physique can’t carry pregnant women.

The park is only a block away, but it felt like it took hours. The world is hazy and you shift in and out of focus as Shadowheart begins to check on you.

“Wh-when did Shaodowww smart get here?”

“Will you please figure out what’s wrong already, CLERIC!?”

Astarion yells and your jumbled brain jumps- tears come falling out of your eyes.

“I-I’m sorry,” you sob, “I- I didn’t- I shouldn’t-“

“Shhhhhhhh, my Darling,” Astarion is sitting next to you in an instant as you begin to tilt over, “it’s okay- this is not your fault.”

“You….. sur…..”

Your question dies on your lips as you give into the exhaustion and fall asleep with your head on Astarion’s shoulder.

***********************

Astarion’s chest loosens when Jaheira, Minsc, Gale, and Halsin arrive. At least now he can go and kill the hag without worrying about dying in the process. He almost left after you had fallen asleep- the muffin he had bought you had in fact been laced with a sleeping potion. Astarion felt like a complete idiot, but Gale reassured him that he couldn’t have possibly known.

You are laying peacefully asleep in your bed and Astarion finds himself putting his hand against your belly to make sure Eowyn is okay- her kicks give him instant relief from the anxiety he is feeling.

He almost lost both of you and that thought is still enough to make Astarion homicidal. He will not let another evil individual take his life, his happiness- his home- ever again.

“S-star?”

Your eyes are staring at him lazily as you try to blink away the sleepiness. Astarion gently grasps your hand and brushes the stray hairs out of your face.

“I’m right here, my Love,” Astarion whispers, “I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you. I promise.”

You whimper and sniffle at Astarion’s words- your bottom lip trembling. Astarion climbs into the bed behind you and holds you to him- you burst into tears.

“I al-almost lost-“ you say through sobs, “Eow-“

“Shhhh Darling, it’s okay. She’s okay,” he soothes, “I’m going with the others to kill the Hag. Jaheira and Shadowheart are going to stay here with you- okay?”

“Don’t go,” you turn awkwardly to look at him, your face is grief stricken, “I don’t want to lose you- please don’t go.”

“Darling…”

“Please.”

Right as Astarion responds- Gale is knocking on the door.

“Would it be alright if I came in?”

“Yes,” you both say in unison.

Gale smiles at Astarion sadly after he looks at you. Astarion didn’t think about the fact that it was hard for your friends to see you in this emotional state until he moved in. Shadowheart cries after leaving the room when you’ve had a particularly scary vomiting episode or false contraction. She is terrified for you and it made him realize he had been wrong about her as well. Shadowheart is a selfless person for the right people.

“Minsc and Halsin are about ready to go, Astarion,” Gale looks between the two of you- noticing how the comment created some tension, “Tav- he will come back alive. We all will. We fought Auntie Ethel as a group of total strangers with no battle experience together and won. This will be a breeze, my Friend.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.”

You take a deep, inhale in and with one last sniff you agree to not put up a fight about Astarion going. Astarion can’t believe that you would trust Gale’s opinion on the matter more, but he does understand the sentiment. It’s how he feels about Jaheira and Shadowheart staying behind.

He leaves a chaste kiss on your forehead and whispers promises of seeing you soon- promises he intends on keeping.

[mahiiimahiiii]

Ok hear me out: once the crew gets to bauldurs gate they have mini funerals ala good place.

(part 1)

I'll give you a taster (+ my beautiful redeemed bhaalspawn):

Gale:

Gales "funeral" would be at a library. He would pile books together as a makeshift coffin and wear a bright pink night robe with fuzzy slippers and curlers in his hair, as well as a dusty pink eye mask. Everyone would be wearing some sort of robe, his flowers of choice for the event would be lilly of the valley.

"gale died doing what he loved, learning."

"some might say this would be the ultimate fate for gale"

He would interject, eating the cucumber on his eye, "I do not think the best outcome for me would be turning into an ilithid. But I must admit- it is fitting."

Later events would be a wine tasting and going shopping for new books.

Shadowheart:

I feel like hers would be a moonlight bonfire, lots of ring dancing and setting her old sharran armor on fire.

"I think-" karlach would start up "a lot of us would be dead if we didn't have our cleric. So shadowheart has earned her props.. not only is she reliable- she is resilient, she is strong."

"despite our quarrels, I am glad to fight with you. I have watched you bloom into a magnificent warrior, for what force? We will see soon enough. May your death be glorious." La'zel quipped.

Her flowers of choice would be night orchids. she would then insist on learning how to swim and manage a doggie paddle.

Karlach:

I feel like hers would be on the beach with a fruity drink in hand as she floats around in the water. The fish around her have probably boiled, which is more incentive for a fish fry.

Everyone gets like a back breaking hug. Lots of physical activities party games wise, be drunk and merry. Most likely people get a bit sunburnt and burnt burnt.

There is no speeches as Karlach is too busy expressing her gratitude about everyone else.

She gets withers to do limbo with her

Her choice of flower is sunflowers.

La'zel:

She would like to opt out of this. a simple "thank you la'zel, may you die horribly in battle. May your wounds bleed out and may you suffer immensely" will suffice.

(her choice of flower is snap dragons)

Jaheria:

Hers would be a touristy walk of bauldurs gate.

She talks about her life, a sense of oral history to pass onto others. The night ends with root veggies chips and cheese, and a generous donation to animal sanctuaries within the cities from the Harpers.

Her idea of fun is bastardizing the ballads that volo wrote via mad libs. Which immature humor ensues.

The mighty _____ o' noble _____ (noun *x2)

Found ___ and sent them back to ____ and ____ (noun, adj*x2)

She would rest in a fainting couch in a puddle of sun in the wildshape form of a big cat, tail swishing idily as people read off their bastardized poems.

Her choice of flowers are jasmine blooms.

Wyll:

His would be a picnic in the park, as people read their speeches to him in comfortable sun dresses and loose cotton clothing, he would hold a little bouquet of daisies resting on a soft gingham sheet with a crown of flowers.

He would insist of going to his favorite pastry shops in the city. Sweet wine, tarts and small cakes. A day of sweets to remember the sweetest person in the camp.

His whole funeral was about allowing everyone to experience the childhood he knew, which wasn't much, but was something he knew they needed.

The look of pure joy in everyone's faces was enough to sustain him for the rest of his days.

The goals were, teach karlach hopscotch, double dutch with Wynne, climb a tree with astarion, and show la'zel some human dances. The older people in the group were less inclined to indulge, taking the roll of the gossiping parents to the 20 something aged other members in the band.

The night ended with dances and fiddle music.

His choice of flowers are thistle blooms

[tittyfishrecs]

Ministry Jobs Masterlist

I thought I'd make a list of jobs that we might see at The Ministry for those looking for ideas (thanks to the Ghesties on the My Ghesties in Satan Discord server). I'll update the list as needed, so feel free to comment with other ideas! List below the cut.

Church

Upper Clergy (Archbishops, Cardinals, Papas)

Minor Clergy (Deacons, Priests, Bishops)

Supernatural

Summoners

Witches

Alchemists

Herbologists

Glamour expert

Hospitality

Janitorial

Housekeeping

Laundry

Groundskeeping

Botanists

Arborists

Gardeners

Landscaping/maintenance

Kitchen

Chef

Sous chef

Pastry chef

Pantry chef

Prep cook

Line cook

Kitchen management

Dishwashers

Education/Artifacts

Librarian

Library assistant

Research assistant

Teacher

Teacher's assistant

Tutor

Art conservation

Art archivist/restoration

Curator

Daycare/Childcare

Healthcare

Nurses

Doctors

CNA

Medical assistants

Pharmacists

Pharmacy techs

Legal/PR/HR

Legal team (laywers/attorneys, legal assistants)

Lobbyists

Public relations manager

Human/ghoul resources

Ghoul wrangler

Charity work

Band/Tour

Tour management

Band management

Set up/tear down crew

Set design

Costume design

Prop design

Ritchie(s)

Events

Event planner

Event organizer

Event set up

Florists

Office/Clerical/Finances

Accountants

Secretaries

Personal assistants to upper clergy or papas

Inventory management

Security

Body guards

Surveillance team

Kevin(s)

Production/Advertisement/Sales

Propaganda team/advertising

Production team

Misc.

Drivers

Shoppers

Secret spies with the Vatican

[commander-krios]

Sweet Like Sugar

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Pairing: Bex/Danis Rating: General Summary: The Grand Revel. A night of revelry, sweets, and love. Bex and Danis find joy in the simple things. Words: 2680 Additional Tags: Gift Exchange, Tieflings, Romance, Love, Celebrations, Valentine's Day, Fluff

Read on AO3

Elturel Tiefling Camp Discord Server Exchange gift for @omgkalyppso. I hope you enjoy it! It was my first time writing for Bex and Danis, they are so cute and deserve all of the fics.

The streets of Baldur’s Gate were packed with festival goers, dressed in thick robes or cloaks, trying to keep warm against the cold winter’s night. The celebration was well underway, hours had already passed with no signs of stopping anytime soon. The clerics of the three goddesses (Lliira, Sharess, and Sune) had gathered their worshippers to prepare earlier in the evening, but now it seemed things were heating up, so to speak. 

The young couple in the teashop were finishing the last dregs of their cups, whispers and giggles reaching where Bex sat finishing the totals for the day. Their pastries, the cookies especially, had run out so quickly that Danis had a tough time keeping up with the demand. Their newest treat, a chocolate sugar cookie with red firemint candies baked within, had sold the most. 

It made sense considering what today’s holiday was: The Grand Revel. 

Danis walked from the kitchen to the storefront, wiping his hands on the apron still tied around his waist. He left handprints in flour against the fabric and Bex bit her lip, trying not to laugh at how adorable he looked with his dark hair pulled out of his face, his golden gaze on the movement outside. His lips curved into a grin at the shouts and laughter that filled their shop as the last customers exited in a rush of cold air.

Sliding from the stool she’d been perched on, she crossed to him in the silence, reaching up to brush some flour from his cheek. He glanced down at her with a wide eyed look and she giggled, flicking him affectionately on the nose. 

“What was that for?” He asked, his hands curling around her waist. The flour was probably all over her skirts as well, but she didn’t care if it meant she was in Danis’s arms. There was nowhere she’d rather be in all of Faerun. 

“It was for being the sweetest and most adorable man in Baldur’s Gate.” She stood on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek and was glad to see a blush forming when she pulled back. 

“Did you get into the wine barrels again, my love?” He teased her, pressing his forehead against hers and gazing into her eyes. She memorized every color in his ochre eyes, every swirl of golden fire, every touch of heated skin against her fingertips as her hands trailed up his neck and into his silky dark locks.

“No.” She replied with a roll of her eyes, tickling his scalp with her claws before withdrawing and turning to grab the tray of used teacups. She didn’t get far before he was wrapping his arms around her middle, pulling her back into his chest. “But I wouldn’t be adverse to a glass of the Blingdenstone Blush.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Danis pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and she shivered at the touch. “It’s as sweet as you are.”

Bex let out a breathless laugh, lifting the tray and shoving it into his hands. “Now who's being a little silly?”

Danis smiled, taking the dishes without argument. “I can’t help myself when every morning when I wake, I have to pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream.”

Bex brushed some of his hair away from his face, tucking it behind one pointed ear, lingering against the curve of it briefly. “You are such a romantic.”

“I haven’t heard a complaint yet.”

“And you never will.” With hands on his shoulders, Bex helped guide him back to the kitchen. “Now, go! We should finish cleaning if we want to make it to the celebrations before they get terribly crowded.”

“Yes, yes. Of course. I’ll be finished soon.”

As soon as Danis disappeared into the backroom, Bex locked up the teahouse, put the coin in the safe secured under the floorboards and then, once she was positive that Danis was still busy, pulled out the cookies that she’d safely tucked into some paper and hidden away from view of the customers, in case they ran out again.

Dark chocolate dough stuffed with firemint candies, dusted in sparkling sugar. They smelled as divine as they tasted, the bitterness of the chocolate highlighting the spiciness of the cinnamon in the candies, the sugar giving it that final sweetness that tied everything together.

It was a treat, to be sure, and a well deserved one.

Ever so gently, she put them in the pouch at her belt, making sure they were secure before packing up the rest of the sweets leftover from the day. When Danis returned to the front, he was no longer in his apron, but a lovely sapphire tunic and beige slacks, fancier than Bex had ever seen him before. They were no longer struggling refugees from Elturel. Now, they were Baldurians, with their own business and a bright future ahead of them. It was more than Bex could have wished for and yet, it was theirs.

“You look nice.” Pulling her apron over her head, she set it on the counter, trying to figure out what exactly she was going to wear. There weren’t many opportunities to go on dates since opening their teahouse and this was one she wasn’t going to waste. Tugging on his collar, she fixed it straight before giving him a brush of a kiss along his jaw. “Wait for me. I won’t be long.”

“I’d never go anywhere without you.”

The air took their breath away when they stepped outside, the cold seeping into their bodies despite their heavy cloaks. Their higher tiefling body temperatures kept them from freezing as soon as they exited the shop, at least some luck on their part. Even still, that didn’t stop Danis from putting his arm around Bex’s shoulders, pulling her close until they shared heat, their breaths coming out in puffs of white. Bex shivered slightly, pressing into Danis’s side, enjoying the residual heat of his body against hers. Citizens of Baldur’s Gate twirled in the designated dancing circles while others watched on, singing along with the bards or cheering for the more skilled dancers putting on a show.

Bex sighed happily, watching as a particularly beautiful couple spun in an elaborate dance, the elven woman’s braided hair whipping around her. It was dazzling the way they moved, like two pieces of a puzzle, weaving around the other. The music’s ending was cut off with loud applause as the couple bowed to their audience, flushed from the cold and probably the dancing as well. They walked off arm in arm, whispering to each other excitedly.

“I want to dance!” Bex exclaimed, pulling Danis towards one of the circles marked out with sparkling dust. Danis groaned, but didn’t speak any complaints, the delighted grin on his face the only proof that he was teasing her. Cautiously crossing over the lines of the circle, Bex was glad to see magic kept the dust in place. It certainly would’ve been a pain to fix them all night.

Facing Danis, she glanced up to find him chuckling.

“What is so funny?”

“I don’t think I’ve had enough to drink for this.” He told her quietly, ignoring the troupe as it started up another fast tune. But even as he spoke, his hand took hold of her waist, the free one sliding into her gloved hand. “And you definitely haven’t.”

“Are you saying that I can’t dance?” Her free hand rested against his shoulder and she nudged him slightly. “Because I’ll have you know, I’m a wonderful dancer. It’s you who is the problem.”

“Me?” He asked, eyes widening as if offended. “Perhaps we need to find out.”

She squealed when he spun her, the movement sending cold air across her cheeks, and despite the bitterness of the wind, she felt warm, elated, with the freedom of dancing in such a public area without worrying about anyone judging them. Without worrying about the fear they used to after Elturel, wondering if they would be cast out of another city, and be reduced to nothing but beggars.

Bex tossed her head back, her laughter blending in with the revelry, joy, love, and beauty erupting in the chaos around them. The upbeat music, the dancing lights that lit the streets, the scent of hot chocolate drinks and firemint candies, all of it exhilarated her. Letting go of Danis’s shoulder, she ducked under his arm, her skirts billowing around her. Stomping her feet, she turned to him once more, only to find his eyes were bright and he was laughing as hard as she was.

Danis wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss against her forehead, his breath hot in the chilly winter air. Her heart soared at his touch, solid yet soft, her entire world. Her safety and her hope. Her future.

“Did you want to keep dancing?” He asked as the ruckus settled to a low hum while the bards prepared for their next song. “Or we can listen to the music for a bit. Whatever you prefer, my love.”

Bex’s eyes scanned the scene around them. There were still people dancing in the circles, oblivious of anything around them. The bards were chattering quietly amongst themselves, perhaps about their next song, or something else entirely. The soft sounds of lyre and lute continued nevertheless, notes twining around each other in a melody that thrummed beneath her skin. She wanted to move, to live in the moment.

Wrapping her arms around Danis, Bex leaned into him, breathing in the scent of sugar and firemint still clinging to his clothes. The smell of home.

They were home.

“Let’s sit here awhile. The music is comforting and I don’t want to let you go yet.”

Danis chuckled, a deep sound in his chest that rumbled through her. She smiled, holding him tighter, unable to imagine a more perfect life than the one they had. They stood like that for a time, listening to the revelry, the music, the chatter. A sweet scent floated in the air, chocolate, sugar, something syrupy. 

Something that made her stomach gurgle.

Danis glanced down, resisting the urge to laugh at her if the way his lips twitched was any indication. “Hungry?”

“Famished.” She cooed, standing on her toes to press a soft kiss to his chin, enjoying the rush of air that left his lips and warmed her nose. “Let’s find what’s making those delicious smells.”

The closest vendor was, in fact, selling pastries. Little flaky butter pastries, some with chocolate filling, others with a different array of berries, some even with cream. With a shake of their coin purses later, their stomachs were full of sweet treats and hot chocolate, content.

When they retreated home hours later, the sky lit up with fireworks of gold, blue, and crimson, showering the world in arcing stars that disappeared before they touched the ground. It reminded Bex a bit of the party after the battle at the Grove, Rolan’s magic sparkling in the air. She wondered how he was doing as Archwizard and vowed to make a stop later in the week with some fresh treats for him and his siblings.

She and Danis settled side by side on the edge of the balcony above their shop, leaning against the banister at the crowds that milled below and the skies that were a kaleidoscope of color above.

The moment was perfect. They were safe, together, and their dreams were unfolding before them with nothing in the way: No armies, no apocalyptic monsters, no fear. After Elturel, there had been doubt that this would happen, that they could be happy. But now they were sitting above their little bakery, gazing at the distant stars with the sounds of laughter in the streets. Sugar lingered on her lips and she swiped her tongue across them, the powder sweet as she savored the taste.

“Danis.” She reached forward and slipped her hand in his, the warmth of his skin a comfort that she’d never tire of. “I need to ask you something.”

He smiled at her, and even in the darkness, she could see the glow of his beautiful eyes. Her heart skipped a beat at how lovely he was, and not only to look at. Every part of Danis was kind and honest and hardworking. Even when he feared the worst, even when he stared death in the eyes in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, all he ever cared about was her safety. Sometimes, she wondered what she did to deserve such devotion. 

“Are you cold? We can go inside, if that’s the case.” Danis tightened his grip slightly, tugging her hand as if to lead her back into their rooms, but she stilled him, shaking her head with the smallest of laughs.

“No, that’s not necessary. It’s only… I wanted to tell you how much I love you. And how much having you here with me has meant. None of this would’ve been possible without you.”

“I think you’re mistaken by how much I’ve actually helped in our endeavors, but- I adore you, Bex. I would’ve traveled all the way to Waterdeep if that’s what you wished.” Danis squeezed her hand gently, lifting it to press a single chaste kiss on her knuckles. Always the charming prince, he was.

“I hope that’s true because I have another thing to ask of you.” She glanced away, feeling her cheeks heat with blush, uncertain in herself for the first time that night. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about since we left Elturel and well, I’ve been waiting for the right moment.”

“I’ll do anything for you. You know that.”

She took a deep breath, trying to calm the nervous butterflies in her stomach. Bex was the optimist, the one who usually didn’t let fear weigh her down, that made sure everyone kept moving despite adversity. But this was different. This was everything.

Shifting slightly, she tilted her head slightly, peering at him from under her eyelashes. With her heart beating a dangerous rhythm in her chest, she blurted out the words before she could overthink them. “Danis… will you marry me?”

He froze like a stone, immovable by even a flood. She immediately knew something was wrong. 

“Oh. Uh, this is awkward.” Danis said before clearing his throat, hand sliding from hers only to turn away, blush crawling up his neck and across his cheeks. 

She felt queasy, certain her stomach dropped through the floor beneath her, the solid ground beneath their store, and perhaps even returned to Avernus itself, a burning hole the only thing left in its place. She thought they were on the same paths… had she been completely wrong?

Danis reached into the pocket of his cloak, pulling out a delicately wrapped cookie. With a sigh, he held it out to her with a shaking hand. “I planned on giving you this earlier, but we were having so much fun and I didn’t want to interrupt the festivities.”

Bex cradled the heart shaped cookie in her hands, made purely of sugar with a pretty red icing covering it. There was writing in white over the confection, Infernal, by the looks of it. 

“What does it say?”

Danis laughed, a breathless sound that sent her heart jumping again. “It’s supposed to say ‘Will you marry me’. But knowing me and my terrible translations, it’s probably calling you an idiot or something.”

She choked out a laugh, trying to hold back the tears at how happy this made her. That he made her. “I love you, Danis.”

“So does that mean-?”

“Of course I’ll marry you!” She nearly shouted, covering her mouth with a hand, blushing in embarrassment. “Eh, if you’ll marry me, of course?”

Danis brushed his knuckles across her cheek, his grin so wide that he radiated with his joy. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”

Leaning forward, Bex pressed her lips to his, content to sit on the exposed balcony of their little shop, the pops of fireworks above and their futures lying ahead.

[angry-eevee]

Coral Island D&D Club

Because I love to squash my obsessions together I was wondering which islanders would play D&D and what they would play!

Under the cut for rambling!

Millie - Dungeon Master. She's very smart and organised, loves books and writing, and has a fun, bubbly personality that would lend itself well to being loveable NPC's. She does all the voices, often resulting in everyone laughing too much to continue, including her. The group meets in the library in the evening!

Lilly - Rogue. I can imagine her spending evenings on her computer looking up optimised builds and combat strats. Her character is easily the most well built, but it doesn't bother her that she might take it a little more seriously than some of the others.

Noah - Warlock. His interest in cryptids and folklore means he's come up with a fantastic backstory, and it's freeing for such a sweet guy to get to be a little edgy sometimes!

Alice - Cleric. She's a worrier, and quite used to working quietly in the background supporting everyone, so being able to keep the party alive and kicking is perfect for her.

Raj - Bard. Have you seen Raj? They're halfway to bardcore themself. They bring coffee and pastries to keep the players energised, and their love of people watching and customer care translates perfectly into an excellent face character. Can Raj sing?

Sunny - BARBARIAN.

Wakuu - Wizard. Our quiet, serious stargazer who just wants people to take his passions seriously, I think this measured yet extravagant class would fit very well!

[fluorescentbalaclava]

a random OC ask for you: what is your OC's favorite memory?

also: if they were dropped in a random city for a day with a pouch full of gold/relevant currency and no obligations whatsoever, what would they be doing?

Hiiiii! 🩷 Thank you so much for asking!

Elysen's favourite memory is any memory from her childhood after her mentor Zephine (half elf, glamour bard/cleric of Tymora) took her under her wing

And with a pouch of money she would probably start a pyramid scheme try to treat herself for a day, book an inn and get herself a bunch of pastries and cherry wine and rest for the day

✧

And as for Seren, she still doesn't have good memories, on her run she just escaped from the cult of Tyr she was part of (She's an aasimar from Tyr). The group she was part of was slowly radicalized and she ultimately didn't feel comfortable anymore amongst them, ran away and was chased, which led her to end up badly wounded and she had to cut half of her wounded wing off (she doesn't like to explain what happened to her wing to people), and she can't fly anymore, so she's not in the best place mentally currently but she's slowly recovering and doing small works to help the Neverwinter government 🥹

And if she had money, she would probably fix her armor that also took a few hits on the escape, and she spent most of her money on buying a health potion for one of her teammates who took a fall while chasing a thief

Again, thank you so much for your question! 💕

[piratespencil]

Caduceus baking a cake for Jester while they’re stuck on their boat during the peace talks bc she wants pastries but they can’t leave… And Jester loving the cake sooo much even though it’s kind of bad bc she’s so happy he made it for her… 🥺🥺🥺 I love Team Cleric sooo much.

[ascendedastarionapologist]

Character Associations

tagged by : @bananasfosterparent :3

DORIAN ANCUNÍN 🍀 TRICKSTER CLERIC OF LUCK

ANIMAL: pidgeons and doves, various insects, rabbits ofc

COLOURS: pink, white, green, gold

MONTH: March, April

SONG(S):

icosa - Oliver Buckland

Fighting With The Melody - Jimmie Urine

Last Call In Jonestown - Polkadot Cadaver

Toxic - Britney Spears

I'm so crazy for youuu </3 - Rebzyxx

Autopsy - Gurldoll

ANIMALS - STOMACH BOOK

chainsaww - Maple, siouxxie sixxsta

dumb dumb - sped up - mazie

Everything Is Fine - QBomb

NUMBER: 777

PLANTS: dandelions, clovers, thistle, lemongrass

SMELLS: powder, dandelion, citrus

GEMSTONE: jade

TIME OF DAY: twilight

SEASON: spring

PLACES: botanical gardens, art galleries, fashion botiques, casinos

DRINKS: green tea, sangria

ELEMENT: earth

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: taurus

FOOD: garden salad, pastries

SEASONINGS: rosemary, garlic (i assume the Ascendant's blessing protects them from the weakness to garlic), parsley, sage

SKY: pinks and violets with faint stars

WEATHER: cool, brisk, foggy

MAGICAL POWER: Toon Logic

WEAPONS: morning star, incendiaries

SOCIAL MEDIA: pinterest

MAKEUP PRODUCT: i dont know if makeup would work on their fuzzy face xD

CANDY: boxed chocolates, saltwater taffy, black licorice

METHOD OF LONG-DISTANCE TRAVEL: idk

ART STYLE: romantisicm

FEAR: isolation, detatchment, abandonment

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: jackalope

PIECE OF STATIONERY: decroative stickers

THREE EMOJIS: 🫀🐝♠️

CELESTIAL BODY: Venus

get tagged idiot (affectionate):

@rielzero @angelicgaming1007 @melonkka

[yandereloveraw]

Made a board for Vanilla as a cleric ^^ (She's definitely the mom friend in my oc's party lol.)

Middle image was made with this picrew:

[esmeislewd]

An adventuring party's fighter and barbarian are so grateful to their cleric for healing them that they keep getting them gifts. At first, it was an extra drink or paying for their room at an inn, but then the cleric accidentally let slip they really liked baked goods and then the two of them independently decided to start getting them treats from bakeries too. What started of as the occasional doughnut or cookie turned into 2 then 3 then the two realised they were both getting the same thing. Unable to suppress their competitive spirits they kept trying to outdo each others gifts.

Entire cakes started showing up in the cleric's room, baskets of pastries being thrust into their arms after a dungeon and the extra calories that were easily burnt up by adventuring began to stick. Vestments got too tight, armour struggled to buckle and suddenly during a thank you banquet with a town's mayor their outfit ripped open revealing their soft gut to the entire town. The cleric had to admit it was a problem and pleaded with the 2 warriors to slow down a bit but they were hearing none of it, not wanting to be the one to stop first and let the other occupy more of their friend's attention. So they kept getting them more and more food, carrying their bags so they could keep up and eventually buying a cart for them to sit in and relax.

The onslaught of food and pampering was starting to have an impact on the cleric, getting spoilt like this was starting to become a habit and they couldn't help but look forward to their next feast that would come as a result of mending little more than a grazed knee or burnt finger now. After a while of this the party had to come to a realisation, their cleric was getting stuck in dungeon hallways, they couldn't run from dragons, and the sounds of their panting and snacking was alerting every guard they tried to sneak past. But they didn't want to split up so they looked for a nice town to settle in.

At last they found one, buying a party house that just so happened to be right next to the local bakery (at the fighter and barbarians insistence). Moving them into a ground floor room the cleric entered a new phase of their gluttony, no longer moving around or needing to adventure they began gaining faster than ever helped along by the fighter and barbarian turning huge amounts of their reward money into food that they stuffed into their cleric. The wizard and rogue got swept up in this too, helping to feed and care for their immense friend as the once-diligent healer turned into a gluttonous fiend, rapidly racing towards immobility thanks to the help of their friends.

[pudgy-planets]

Uhh. Prepare for Cringe. I’ve been making some classes for that weight gain shooter idea I had.

You’ll see some of these are inspired by a certain game.

Here they are:

Soda Street-Warrior

HP: 125

Base Movement Speed: Average

Role: Assault/Starter/All-Rounder

Primary: Bottle Cap Blaster (30 Ammo, 45 w/Upgrade)

Abilities:

Ginger-Ale Grenade: Tosses a shaken-up bottle of ice-cold ginger-ale that explodes into a cloud of sticky, saccharine mist that slows and damages enemies within.

Fizzy Flight: Launches into the air with a pressurized blast of citrus soda, slightly damage enemies in its radius. Useful for getting atop buildings.

Blueberry Bottle Rocket: Bends over (despite their potbelly-) and aims a powerful 2-liter bottle of concentrated beverage. Perfect for taking out stationary targets in one hit.

Hot Chocolate Cleric

HP: 110

Base Movement Speed: Fast

Role: Medic/Healer/Support

Primary Weapon: Mini-Marshmallow Launcher (50 Ammo; 60 w/Upgrade)

Abilities:

Chocolate Heal Ray: Invigorate and heal allies with this tasty, tubular beam!

Mean Cocoa Bean Machine: Hops atop a stationary rotary cannon and unleashes a barrage of smoldering hot, double-dipped chocolate beans at enemies. Vulnerable whilst firing.

Whipped Creme Wayfarer: Plants a stationary, rotating thermos that dispenses hot chocolate at a perfect temperature, constantly healing allies in its radius until it self-destructs.

Pasta Paladin

HP: 175

Base Movement Speed: Sluggish

Role: Melee/Tank/Stealth

Primary: Rosemary Greatsword (Ammo: None. Melee Weapon, deals 25 damage per swing.)

Abilities:

Marinara Immobilizer: Fires a blast of spicy pasta sauce from their wrist mound sprayer that slows down and damages enemies over a short span of time. Can hit multiple enemies in its splash radius.

Tortellini Tornado: Begins rapidly spinning dealing constant, slashing damage to nearby foes, encasing them with Tortellini strands that hinder their movement and makes them an easier target for allies.

Macaroni Mine: Places a dangerously delicious mine with a brief arming time. Enemies who step on it will be blown sky high in a cheesy explosion. (Stores 3 charges.)

Ice Cream Marauder

HP: 200

Base Movement Speed: Slow

Role: Tank/Suppression/Defense

Primary: Waffle Cone Cannon (Unlimited Ammo, overheats.)

Abilities:

Maraschino Punt: Kicks a powerful, cherry explosive that rolls for several feet prior to exploding.

Rush Hour: Charges forth at breakneck speeds and sends whoever is in their path flying!

Sugar Cone Wall: Summons a dense of rocky road ice cream atop a sugar cone that sponges damage and blocks incoming fire. (Stores 2 charges.)

70’s Waitress Heroine

HP: 150

Base Movement Speed: Above Average

Role: Offense/Assault/Front-Liner

Primary: Chicken Finger Flinger (Long Range Weapon, 14 Ammo, 18 w/upgrade.)

Secondary: Condiment Shotgun (Close Range Weapon. 6 Ammo, 8 w/upgrade.)

Abilities:

Grease Vat Dynamo: Combat rolls or dodges into any direction, leaving behind an an explosive surprise in its wake.

Dine-N-Dash Overload: Pulls out an all-range french fry cannon that has unlimited ammo, more damage, and enables her to move faster.

Can’t Check This: Whips out a quad-launcher that fires overcooked, homing, honeyed rolls upon their foes. Prioritizes enemies you’ve already hit with your primary or abilities.

Cream Puff Engineer

HP: 125

Base Movement Speed: Average

Role: Support/Assistance/Mobility

Primary: Bavarian Creme Impactor (10 Ammo, 14 Ammo w/upgrade)

Abilities:

Powder Puff POW: Tosses a pastry coated in way too much powdered sugar that explodes and stuns nearby enemies in its range.

Unidentified Flying Doughnut: Releases a controllable drone that can unleash air strikes of deadly, but delicious bags of icing. Be careful! It only has a small health pool, don’t stop moving!

Boston Creme Bulldozer: Hops on top of an eclair hoverboard that allows for easier transportation and mobility! It knocks back and damages anyone you run into! And has a mounted cannon to ensure you can continue firing.

Lactomancer

HP: 100

Movement Speed: Above Average

Role: Support/Healing/AOE

Primary Weapon: Whole Buttermilk Staff (30 Ammo, 35 w/Upgrade, Homing.)

Abilities:

Strawberry Saturation: Tosses a bottle of super syrupy strawberry milk that heals allies for 50 HP and grants them the ability to heal via damage dealt for a brief time.

Enemies hit will be unable to use their abilities for a brief time.

Calcium Catastrophe: Spins and slams their staff into the ground, creating a tidal wave of diary that washes foes away and grants a healing burst to allies.

Milky Mayhem: AOE spell that turns foes into cowgirls, rendering them without abilities. Be careful, they can still ram and charge at you!

[intothe-reverie]

Sometimes I think about how demonized dnd was regarding the satanic panic and then I think about one of my most recent sessions our cleric spent about 30 minutes buying different cakes and pastries to try and prove the bakery was a front and to call the bluff and my husband (DM) just had to sit there and think of 393948 different cake flavors

Diabolical indeed

[clericofsune]

Piety Boons for DnD 5e: Sune

Sune is the Faerunian Goddess of love, beauty, and passion. She holds sway over the whims and desires of mortals, driving them to love, crave, and create. Her highest ranking priests and priestesses are known as Heartwarders. The Order of the Red Rose is her faith militant, which safeguard the temples and clergymen devoted to her. Though her primary sphere is love and beauty, she is also the patron of all artists and craftsmen, blessing them with skilled hands and wondrous imagination. In this way, she ensures that life is beautiful in all ways, and she pities any who would deny themselves of their passions out of fear or shame. Her two primary Exarchs are Liira, the goddess of Joy, and Sharess, the goddess of cats.

Her alignment is Chaotic Good. Sune values above all else freedom. Freedom to be, do, explore, and create whatever one pleases, and follow where their heart leads them. Even clerics devoted to the goddess are known to step away from the church to pursue other desires without ever incurring the goddess’ wrath. As the goddess of beauty, Sune abhors all things which mock and tarnish the beauty and pleasure that is a mortal existence. Fiends, undead, and anything rotted, diseased, or mutilated disgusts her. However, her anger can be misguided, such as her displeasure for scars and physical imperfections, which can cause her to come off as superficial and judgmental.

EARNING PIETY

Seek out and enjoy life’s pleasures and revel in your passions

Follow your heart wherever it may guide you

Compose or commission works of art

Impart knowledge of fashion, art, cosmetics, and etiquette to others

Destroy anything which tarnishes the beauty of this world or its people

Destroy armies which threaten the stability of the world

Restore and beautify damaged structures, landscapes, and communities

Bring lovers together, or help lovers overcome social obstacles to love

Build or restore a temple to Sune

LOSING PIETY

Deny yourself your passions out of fear or shame

Practice necromancy and other unholy arts

Tarnish the beauty of the world or the creatures within it

Willfully upset the balance of the world for personal gain

Willfully tarnish your outer appearance, especially through necromancy

Consort with Baalzebul, Ssendam, Evil Gods, other fiends, or undead

Condemn the love, relationships, and passions of others

Tear lovers apart, stand in the way of love, or deride the value of love

Destroy or desecrate a temple to Sune

PIETY REWARDS

3+ = You can cast Charm Person or Color Spray (choose only 1) 10+ = You can cast Hypnotic Pattern. 25+ = Friendly creatures within 30 feet gain +2 to their AC as well as their INT, WIS, and CHA saving throws. This includes you. 50 + = Increase your CHA or WIS by 2 and increase your max for that score by 2

SUGGESTED CLASSES

Artificer

Bard

Cleric

Paladin

Sorcerer

SUGGESTED BACKGROUNDS

Courtier

Entertainer

Far Traveler

Guild Artisan

Noble

SUGGESTED DOMAINS

Life

Light

Peace

Trickery

SUGGESTED SUBCLASSES

College of Creation

College of Eloquence

College of Glamour

College of Valour

Conclave of the Fey Wanderer

Oath of the Ancients

Oath of the Crown

Oath of Devotion

Swashbuckler Rogue

Archfey Patron

Celestial Patron

School of Enchantment

Divine Soul Origin

WORSHIP & FESTIVALS

A ritualistic morning bath in scented water is preferred, though if water or perfumes are scarce, a ritualistic washing of the hands can suffice.

Sunites that wish to commune with their goddess must stand in water and look into a mirror or reflective surface lit by natural light or candle light.

The Feast of Love is held every Tenday. Dine on exquisite delicacies, whether exuberant or humble as time and availability allows. Even just stopping to savor a pastry or a slice of cheese can suffice in the wilderness.

The Grand Revel is hosted once per month from dawn to dusk, with Sunites displaying artwork of great beauty, donning elaborate costume and hairstyle, performing beautiful works of music, dance, or recitation, or engaging in pageantry and showmanship. This event is open to the public.

On Greengrass, the first day of Spring, Sunites take their jubilations outdoors to engage in picnics, romantic strolls, amorous dalliances, playful chases, and public performances to celebrate the rebirth and liveliness of spring.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

For the BG3 Matchups may I offer my tav Jubilee, my little tiefling sorceress had been adventuring for like 2 weeks trying to figure out the origins of her magic when she got yoinked by mindflayers so she has no idea what anyone of any class/role is supposed to be like. She just kinda assumes whatever her companions do is the norm even when it’s really not, Shadowheart hates selûne with a passion I guess all clerics just get grumpy about gods other than theirs and she offered another rouge her blood once because she assumed that’s just how they are and got a horrified reaction. The woman is just taking things at face value and needs to be wrangled by the party about her misconceptions about how this works. This being said she has no idea what a sorcerer is supposed to be like and often ends up acting far more like an overly compassionate Druid or an innocently charming bard. She was working as a baker before getting all the adventuring nonsense and keeps bringing her party member’s pastries the way one would expect a cat to bring you a dead mouse. She is a genuine sweetheart who is deeply in over her head with everything happening too her. She a simple woman with a strong sense of fairness but has some strong people pleasing and attention seeking tendencies. She wants to be liked and while that leads to her being kind and helpful it can also lead to her being pushy. She has a lot of energy and is extremely affectionate to everyone. As mentioned before she’s an avid baker but can also sing and play the lute. She also just loves insects and has a collection of the little creatures, she hates loud noises as she has very sensitive hearing and sarcasm confounds her more often than not. I threw in a doodle of her for fun!

She’s down for Poly and extremely sapphic.

A/N: Lol, I love it! This is now officially a Jubilee stan blog. 

And oh my gosh at that doodle? She’s so sweet??? I love her so much??? 

“She was working as a baker before getting all the adventuring nonsense and keeps bringing her party member’s pastries the way one would expect a cat to bring you a dead mouse.” 

@botanicalbard Literally my favorite line ever in a matchup submission, holy shit lol. Like she is so precious! Her companions better protect her or I will personally jump into the game to kick their asses. 

Please Like & Reblog!

Okay… So for Jubilee, as you said she’s into women, and down with a poly relationship, I think her best matchups would be monogamous relationships either with (or a poly relationship with both) Karlach and Hope!

♨ Karlach is such a sweet girl, despite years of being forced to fight in hell. She’s kind, happy, and boisterous. She doesn't beat around the bush. If she likes something, she says it. If she disagrees, she’ll make her opinion heard. She has a fair amount of experience, but still manages to look on the bright side without coming off as naive. I think she’d find Jubilee’s innocence and curiosity sweet, as opposed to some other companions who might find it off-putting or dangerous. So it’s okay for Jubilee to take what Karlach says at face value, and in the event she needs clarification (which you said seems to be most of the time lol), Karlach is there, ready and willing to give it to her. 

Karlach isn’t a magic expert. She’s a barbarian, so her frame of mind is “If I can hit it, I can damage it”, which, to be fair, works out more often than not. However, I do think Karlach would encourage Jubilee to do some digging into her past and into her possible education, to try and teach herself more about sorcery for a couple of reasons. 1) It would be a great addition to the party to have a sorcerer on board, and 2) Karlach knows how good it feels when she’s being true to herself, smashing the bad guys to bits. She wants Jubilee to feel that self of purpose herself. But in the meantime, Karlach enjoys the way Jubilee acts and approaches situations. It’s refreshing to see someone try their hardest to be a good person. After years of watching armies battle in hell, Karlach has seen people at their worst. Every moment above ground with Jubilee only further reminds her how beautiful and compassionate people can and should choose to be. 

She’s also obsessed with Jubilee’s baking. Karlach is a tank, alright. She’s gotta fuel up way more than the other companions. And as long as Jubilee is happy to bring her sweets and pastries, Karlach is more than happy to eat them. 

Karlach also feels a duty to protect Jubilee, physically and emotionally, from all the violence and betrayal out there. It’s a harsh world in Baldur’s Gate, and it’s very clear to Karlach and all the other party members that Jubilee’s in over her head. But that’s no matter. Karlach promises to stick by her side throughout it all. She truly believes that as long as they stick together, there’s nothing they can’t do. 

Jubilee is similar to Karlach in that they both have a lot of energy. In some ways, they’re both people-pleasing. This can cause some issues, with neither one of the two being able to put down super firm boundaries. Thankfully, Karlach’s protective nature prevents Jubilee from doing anything overly foolish or risky while Jubilee’s genuine love for Karlach reminds Karlach to not put herself in unnecessary mortal danger. Because for Karlach, it’s not just about her survival anymore- it’s about theirs. 

Karlach loves when they get a moment somewhere quiet, where Jubilee can sing or play the lute for her. It’s so sweet and peaceful, that for a moment they can forget all their troubles. 

I think if/once Karlach’s engine issue gets fixed, the two of them can count on a long future together. One filled with just a bit less perilous adventures and lots of pastry eating together. 

❂ Hope is actually the first character I thought of when I read your Jubilee description, (even though she isn’t a companion, but an NPC). She, much like her namesake, is an embodiment of hope in The Devil Raphael’s house of horrors. Despite years of torment and abuse, she still manages to have hope that things will get better. She naively believes that things will end well and that she will one day be free from the literal and metaphorical chains that bind her. That is one of the reasons Raphael chose to keep her locked away, as he could never seem to fully break her spirit, and it infuriated him. 

As a cleric, Hope would probably be better equipped with teaching Jubilee more about magic, spells, and sorcery overall. And it’s alright if Jubilee doesn't know a lot, because honestly, Hope doesn't either lol. She’s young at heart and in soul. There’s so much she still wants to learn, and do, and make for others. She and Jubilee could spend time together, each researching their own abilities, while still enjoying each other’s presence/company. 

Hope is overly compassionate herself. We know as much because she risks her own safety to help the party defeat Raphael. She’s giving but not completely selfless, asking to be rescued herself. This tells me she would be good at agreeing with Jubilee’s acts of compassion while keeping in mind her and Jubilee’s physical safety as well.

Hope would love to have Jubilee in her kitchen, brightening up the place. After taking the house from Raphael, she tells the player she plans to make the place more homely- some fresh paint, a new atmosphere, and her as the new owner- the place should be in much better spirits. Jubilee baking delicious pastries, and the smell of fresh baked goods wafting through the house just adds to that effect. It’s no longer a house of torment, but a safe home. 

And Jubilee being a bit pushy when it comes to people-pleasing won’t be an issue with Hope lol. Hope can be quite loud when she wants to be. Despite her smaller stature, she’ll make sure she’s heard. She has no problem pushing back against things that make her feel uncomfortable. Now that she’s free, she promises to never let herself be forced into uncomfortable situations again. If Jubilee is asking too much of her, Hope will communicate that. And on the other hand, Hope respects when Jubilee puts her foot down on something Hope may want to do. Communication is key to any relationship, and the two of them have it down pat. 

And Hope is interested in Jubilee’s insect collection. Hope is pretty small herself, so she feels a kinship with the little bugs and creatures Jubilee collects. And now that Hope has all these rooms, she has no problems converting one of them into a sort of conservatory to house all of Jubilee’s new little friends!

I think Karlah and Hope would get on well. Both of them know what it’s like to be trapped in hell and both of them managed to get through their traumas with their bright personalities intact. The best part about this arrangement is because Hope’s new house is technically located in hell, Karlach’s engine would calm down long enough for all three of them to come up with a plan to fix it. It would be the three of them- a trio of positive like-minded women versus the world. 

No imp or cambion, or even Zariel herself could tear them apart. The trio’s collective optimism and hope keeps them together.