#peacemaker meme | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grandgrief · 2 months

Text

RP SENTENCE STARTERS INSPIRED BY "PEACEMAKER TRIES HARD!" (2023) MEGAPOST

Edit pronouns/names/locations/etc. as needed when sending.

GENERAL WARNING FOR NSFW/UNSANITARY/VIOLENCE/ETC.

____

"Why would you even want to diverge from the preexisting beloved lore?"

"They probably have to change it a little for like, legal reasons or something, right?"

"I haven't heard a ton of jazz musicians but that doesn't mean they don't exist and aren't good at their jobs."

"The protein powder is for maintaining my ripped and sensual physique, and the instant cake mix is for a very special event this weekend."

"What's your deal, anyway? You shoot laser beams or turn into a fishman or something?"

"Shoot. With this poop-eating motherfucker on the case, we should have peace any day now."

"Did you say 'muscle cake?' is that a euphemism? Because we've talked about this."

"The lady at the store said something about it. You know what, I'll just look it up when I get home."

"Last time we were at one of his get-togethers, it was just him showing off his collection of VHS porn. He said he found it in the woods."

"It was disgusting. Even for me."

"Oh shit! I don't envy them. I hate fighting that guy."

"Do these guys have some meta-human in there? Some guy named Koncrete with a K or a cyborg called Lasernuts?"

"There's a whole GROUP of us! We're likeminded and happy to be in each other's company!"

"What a fancy little man. He looks like he has a tuxedo on."

"It's a stray. Strays don't have names."

"--Anyway so you should come check it out, there's going to be beer, cake, hot music, so many bangable chicks. Or dudes. Or whatever you're into--"

"I'm not coming to your party. None of us are. We don't know you, dude."

"Maybe those guys are right and no one does like me. I'm not going to lie, it feels like that."

"You can't trust nothing that forms loyalty without an ideology."

"But maybe a dog's super power is seeing something worth loving in anyone?"

"Now hit all the targets or I'm putting you in the moron box for 48 hours."

"Cardio is for pussies, but it's important for heart health."

"Damn [NAME]-- you can't just barge in here, I could've been jerking off."

"If you violate your parole enough you know, I'll have to take you down. And I always get my man."

"You know you need eggs for this, right? I've seen your fridge, and all you have is a half-empty jar of pickles and a bottle of mustard."

"It's instant cake mix. You just add water."

"Bro, I'm a city employee. I just work here."

"I wish to make love again! To PRANCE through fields! To EMOTE with facial expressions and dramatic arm movements once again!"

"I'm afraid I need a body that has no risk of rejecting an intelligent brain.

"I'm way better than Batman. That dude's been fighting the same clown for twenty years."

"You know how many clowns I could beat up in twenty years?... Probably like EIGHT BILLION!"

"The TV said the Penguin robbed a bank, so this dumbass went to the zoo and started causing a ruckus in the Antarctica exhibit."

"HA HA! Because joke's on you, because my mom's dead. Unless you're saying your parents fuck dead moms?"

"I'm not crying, by the way. I got a scratched cornea from tearing some terrorists new buttholes yesterday and my eye's just leaking."

"WHAT are you doing? Everyone knows the driver controls the music."

"You know, I thought I was getting saddled with some stupid, villainous henchman sent to babysit me. But you're cool as shit."

"I hope this is the place, because we're in the middle of bumfuck nowhere."

"We aren't approved for overtime and we're an ass hair away from deadline."

"You knocked over my bowl of hard candies. There are going to be little carpet hairs mixed in there now. It's utterly ruined."

"This has gone on long enough! I'm getting one of my delightful death machines."

"Now where did I put my glasses? I need my glasses for death dealing."

"You know who wants to help a turd? Fucking no one. Because no one cares about a useless little piece of shit."

"My only friend is a dog I just met. One who, honestly, probably doesn't know me well enough to make a decision on if they actually like me or not. Which is moot anyway because some dudes kidnapped the dog to trick me into doing something for them. Which feels awful because not only is my only friend gone, but I'm so desperate for attention I was actually excited to be needed by the type of people that would steal a dog."

"And worse, it turns out they didn't even need me for that job and betrayed me and then tried to kill me. My current existence is fraught with utter loneliness and all-encompassing incompetence."

"I believe this fella is using a feminine napkin as a band-aid."

"You ever seen a super-hero in this sad condition before?"

"You guys might be right, you know? I just wanted to make the world more peaceful... but it's not more peaceful."

"Are you crying, boy? Superheroes don't cry."

"EVERYONE cries, dammit!"

"There ain't no super-villains allowed in this bar!"

"Look, sorry about your friend, but I was just a pawn, I--"

"We had 63 days without a worksite incident, you son of a bitch!"

"Jesus, you freak. Orange juice in the eyes? You may as well have thrown acid in his face!"

"Maybe I do suck, but I don't suck compared to these guys!..."

"... I suck compared to Green Lantern, and that dude wouldn't let these assholes push him around."

"You crossed state lines again without approval."

"I'm responsible for making sure dozens of super-powered ex-convicts follow the rules of their release."

"[NAME] is here to kick your cocks off!"

"You can control bees? Like a whole SWARM? That's hardcore, bro!"

"I don't know, man. I don't know if we can do this. I don't know if I got what it takes anymore and you're an old man with a bee."

"You know they only put me on the most dangerous cases, right? I wouldn't be here if you weren't a force to be reckoned with."

"You DO know that with just the push of a button I can have a hundred armored mechs descend on this place and render you into pieces?"

"Because... if you don't... I'm going to shove this napkin dispenser all the way up your OLD, WRINKLED ASS."

"I was alive at the dawn of man. I've touched every spot on this wretched planet, and drew blood on most. I've lived countless years with endless time. There's nothing I have not seen or done."

"Do you honestly think that in all of my long life I've never had a napkin dispenser up my rectum? Do you really consider that a THREAT to me?"

"Well... you'd be right. It was incredibly uncomfortable and I despised it. You boys are really refuting all my bluffs today."

"Don't you worry about me, I can still do the three most important things in life: flying, fucking, and fornicating."

"This is not the team-up I was hoping for, man. I was hoping for Harley or Deadshot. Hell, I'd even take King Shark, even though he smells like the seafood section at a grocery store."

"Well, you better tell your little friend to be careful. This place is full of crazy, dangerous, poisonous little predator fucks."

"See these tree frogs? They have enough poison on them to kill ten to twenty grown men. They got this giant centipede here that can catch and eat birds and bats and shit. And that's dope, but I sure as fucking hell don't want to be pulling it off my junk. Probably because I went to take a piss and it was like 'Yum, that looks like a small mammal, I should eat it!'"

"I'm not going to die because something gave me a little bite. I'm going to die the way god intended: mid-fuck, eating a club sandwich I just dipped in honey mustard."

"Hey, have you guys seen a mad scientist super-villain hangout around here?

"This place used to be BUMPING. Had us smuggling guns, drugs, jewels, stolen art. We lived life on the RAZOR'S EDGE. If it was profitable we were in on it. No matter how illegal or dangerous. Now they've got us smuggling recreations of rare trading cards. This crate here? FULL of knockoff limited edition sneakers!"

"I don't know what's going to make me and my boys feel the best, you know what I mean? What's going to pop off."

"Feed them to the Piranha? Oh SHIT!"

"Hell yeah! Let's party: FUEL ME, MY CUMULONIMBUS STIMULANT CLOUD!"

"Did you mickey his cocaine with a poison dart frog?"

"Yeah, but I feel real bad for that frog-- wait. There it is. It's fine."

"Birds and the bees? I never got what that talk was about. How things fly? I could fly too if I had wings and hollow bones."

"Clones means they're easily replaceable, right? Expendable henchmen?! I'm going to kick so much ass!"

"We aren't really fighting henchmen. We're more like 'experiments and janitorial' henchmen."

"We're actually not evil despite being clones of someone incredibly evil. It has initiated some pretty compelling nature vs nurture debates here."

"Believe it or not, by the time he mastered the cloning process he'd been in that ooze too long and his original body rejected him."

"Anyway, we're all pretty smart and can see what's coming next, so we're all going to flee en masse."

"Fuck, I'm not going to sleep for a month. I feel like crying right now."

"And it's not even like he talks to me or anything. It's just train-train-train, all the time."

"Drink all your vitamin goo. Learn to make explosives from common items."

"I know how it feels when you're a burden or a disappointment. Like you can't do anything to earn their love."

"But you know what I realized? When you go to the airport, you have to take your shoes off and they scan your stuff. When you give blood it gets screened. You have to pass a test to drive a car. But there's nothing to keep any old loser from becoming a dad. Dude puts a baby in someone's belly, they think they're king of the world."

"But a good dad would tell you that you don't suck, and that you're good enough despite what other assholes tell you. Because you don't suck, and you are good enough. A good dad wouldn't let you fight your battles alone. A good dad wouldn't tell you what you're going to be when you grow up. They'd ask what you wanna do and support it."

"I'm not sure how anyone survives past that age. It's exhausting."

"I hope you both choke to death on a fart."

"Yeah, it's another day I have tolerate your useless idiot face."

"You stole my dog. You tricked AND betrayed me. Hell, you shot me in the back. You tried to KILL me. But pretending to be my friend? That's worse than ANYTHING!"

"You're a brutish oaf who's made it this far despite himself. A doofus thorn in my side who has ruined my plans and home by fluke."

"So now I'm going to ruin everything in your life. Starting with that loathsome little town you call home. AND THEN THE REST OF THE WORLD!"

"It's my destiny. It was meant to be. Avenging the loss of my squadron on the man who killed them with the very machine that slaughtered them."

"It would be a disservice to them not to make everyday the best, most beautiful thing it possibly could be."

"I've dedicated myself to living a life without regrets."

"There's an evil, vile tidal wave crashing relentlessly against this world. Its churning waters smash the good and drown the kind. Every moment of this existence is unjust turmoil and chaos."

"You're a good kid and a great hero. And I can see you're trying as hard as you can."

"You had a really good dad who cared the shit out of you... and most of us don't get that."

"If they were here I know they'd tell us not to be sad they're gone. Life's too short to be sad."

"But I think that's a lot to ask. I know I'm going to be sad for a really long time. And I know you will be too.

"But we should try not to be: for them."

"You shouldn't smash burgers down like that. They're gonna lose all their juices."

"We ain't gonna miss the best superhero in the state's birthday party."

"Met 'em when they tried to kill me in a sewage treatment plant. Good dude."

"For god's sake, let the tree go! What are you going to do, replant it?"

"What are we doing here? I'd rather be in prison than deal with this guy."

"This place smells like a high school boys' wrestling team and everything's... curiously sticky."

"Is this just celery on a bun?"

"You're a wooden club of a human being. Simple, rough, and only good for bashing things. But somehow... despite yourself... you've come through with a victory again."

"Your presence is the only presents I need."

#RP meme #Sentence Starters #Dialogue Meme #DC Comics RP #Superhero RP #Supervillain RP #Suicide Squad RP #Peacemaker RP

12 notes · View notes